#convos with the parental units

[fandom-hoarder]

Mom: I'm coming to visit. I know you can't host me right now so I'll get an airbnb.

Me: Okay, well let me know what dates you're thinking *thinks mom paying for hotel means weekend visit*

Mom, a week later: What email do you want me to send my flight info to? I bought tickets. I'm coming for 12 days.

Me: What? When? (Why am I honestly surprised by this? This happened before in a worse scenario that forced me to scramble across state lines in a snow storm on Thanksgiving.) You're flying into Indy, not *closer airport*?

Mom: auntie can meet you halfway 🙂

Me, a week later, realizing she never sent her itinerary: Did you book your hotel?

Mom: Not yet. I have less money left than I thought. I'll have to look into my options.

Me: *foresees the future, looks around at my house in renovation stasis, anxiety increases*🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[ninjagobythenumbers]

Bechdel Testing Ninjago

So, a little while ago I did the Bechdel test on Ninjago because I've always seen the show as sort of an interesting case study in how women are portrayed in cartoons. Of course, I'm aware the Bechdel test originated as a joke and something passing the Bechdel test doesn't make it feminist/not. Rather, or for me at least, it's an indication of how deficient female representation can be at an aggregate scale. As a way to analyze Ninjago, I feel it works as it shows how female representation over the course of the show. If you're interested I'll now discuss my thoughts on how the analysis went season by season. DISCLAIMER: I did this for fun.

The pilot was easy. Nya's the only one, so test failed across the board. The first episode that passed the test was when Jay's parents came to visit. Yay Edna! Mystake does show up in episode 7 but, I don't count it as she has not yet been named. 12&13 had a kid's mom in a bus which I decided was enough cus hey, Mom's a name she uses.

Here's where we really get going. Patty Keys, their real estate agent continues to show up through seabound as a background character, which is pretty cool imo. Episode 5, Mystake finally gets named. Episode 6 was huge for my chart as it's the introduction of Misako. You'd think episode 7 is when her and Nya talked but that's actually when Nya and Gayle had a lil convo. From then on I spent the episodes just staring at the Nya and Misako thinking "talk to her talk to her talk to her." Fortunately, when they did speak, Nya and Misako would be discuss like science, maps, and fate of the world so I never ran into a problem with rule 3. That is, until Rebooted.

The good news is Pixal's here so it'll be years before we fail rule 1 again. The bad news is we've got a love triangle so goodbye rule 3. Nya actually talked to her student, Sally, and Pixal quite often but it was so often about Jay or Cole so I would just be scouring the episode for a single exchange where they talked about anything else. During the Tournament, Nya, Pixal, Skylor, and Misako were all in different groupings and it was rare that Tox or Camille would say something so no rule 2/3 successes until late season.

The good news is, the love triangle is over so we're back to rule 2 usually meaning rule 3. The bad news is, Pixal's in Zane's head so we're back to hoping Misako and Nya say something to eachother. Nya usually shared her scenes with Wu, Ronin, and Jay during these seasons so chances were few and far between. However, unlike the first few seasons where the default was male, we're now getting some female henchmen (Bansha and Dogshank) so that made things easier.

Thank you for being in Day of the Departed Edna Walker. Early Hands of Time was tough because Nya, Misako, and Commander Macchia were rarely in the same scenes. In the latter half of the season though, we thankfully see the return of Pixal. Maya also helped us with some wins.

What a breath of fresh air. Thanks to Harumi & Ultraviolet's introduction, Pixal's return, Mystake's upgrade to a reoccuring character, and Nya & Misako's continued support, failing even rule 3 is pretty rare during the Oni Trilogy. We run into some complications during Hunted because though we have Skylor and the aforementioned characters in Ninjago and Faith & Jet Jack in the First Realm, sometimes people don't talk to eachother. And that's ok. Overall, smooth sailing.

Ah??!? What happened. Worry not. I realized this was, in part, because the Oni Trilogy had 20 minutes worth of chances for women to speak to eachother, these were only 10 minute episodes. So, for the sake of comparable units of analysis, I considered each pair of episodes to be 1 episode. I'll show both charts until DR.

It looks a little better, but it's still not at Oni Trilogy levels. Still, I'd be curious to see what the test would look like if I dissected the earlier episodes into 10 minute chunks because it's probably not a great sign if 10 v 20 minutes makes such a big difference. Ok, proceeding. The Fire Chapter was usually pretty successful because Pixal, Aspheera, or Nya would usually end up talking at one point or another. Gayle even helped at one point. The Ice chapter usually achieved successes through Nya talking to Sorla. In one episode, I counted the Preminent's roars as conversation with Pixal. The Ice Chapter had quite a few failures largely because, as in previous seasons, all the women were split up.

Despite the fact that Nya was one of the longest lived ninja, Prime Empire has total failures at levels not seen since before season 2. This is largely because for the most part, Pixal and Nya are never in the same episode. Racer 7 helps but she was only there for a bit. I should point out that I feel like the 10 minute era is really when Pixal starts feeling like part of the team to me. She's always part of homebase meetings and always plays a key part in missions. Alas, if she's not in episodes with Nya, that's not going to show up on my chart. It's a reminder of the fact this test doesn't show substance.

Master of the Mountain is similar to the other seasons of its era. The fact the 10 minute era tended to show its plots episode by episode (ex: Ep 3 = Plot A, Ep 4 = Plot B, Ep 5 = Plot C) rather than all in one really takes a toll on the test. For the most part, Nya and Vania were our only chances for success and it was rare they'd share an episode. We also had the rare rule 3 failure with the Queen of the Munce episode. Thanks Jay. The Island only had Nya until they found Misako, so it was struggling even more.

It feels right to see all green when it's a Nya season. In the beginning of Seabound, they put Nya, Pixal, and Maya on a boat together and by jove it made things easy. Late season was a bit trickier because Nya was on her own journey. Crystalized had Skylor, Pixal and some ressurected villains saving the day. Late Crystalized is the way it is because it had so, so many different groupings. I have a chart based on groupings and this season was such a challenge.

I really felt the difference with Dragons Rising. I mean, you can see the difference, but it was even more clear when doing my data collection because it was just so easy. Rather than grabbing at scraps of dialogue like I had to do in early seasons, there was often a wealth of more meaningful conversation between female characters to choose from. As with the Oni Trilogy, a female villain with a female henchman makes things easy because they scheme together. We also had Nya and Sora on a joint quest. Funnily enough, there is a rare rule 3 failure because Sora and Kreel only talked about Kreel's friend in one episode. Episode 17 had the classic split up issue and actually would've failed entirely if not for Agent Underwood, which is actually a great example of my next point. You can really tell how male is no longer the default because not only is there the introduction of all the fantastic new female main characters, but also there's plenty of random female characters scattered throughout. I haven't seen DRS2P2 yet but I expect it'll be more of the same. I should mention I also made a chart with the reverse (two named men in an episode who talk about eachother about something besides a woman). Only three episodes fail in any capacity. (Say thank you to the Akita, Pixal, and Harumi solo episodes). If you read this whole thing, thank you. I had a lot of fun doing it. Let me know if there's any other charts I can do!

[midnight-in-town]

Let's talk about the "Fenian brotherhood" theory !! :D

Firstly, in case you don't know about it, please go read the theory that our!Ciel's birth name might be Fenian/Fionn/Finnian by @azuresins. It is incredibly relevant to what I'm about to explain next !

TBH, I don't really care about discovering our!Ciel's birth name. However, I truly enjoy this theory and I think it makes a lot of sense, because I absolutely agree with the idea of Vincent supporting (secretly or not) Irish independence, turning him into a political enemy of Queen Victoria...

...which could be very much why he ended up dead.

This theory comes from a private convo with my friend, @dorkshadows and I'll sum up their thoughts (and some of mine) below the cut !

First of all, while we think Claudia, Vincent's predecessor, may have been a personal enemy of Victoria because of whatever happened when Albert died in 1861, Vincent strikes us more as a political enemy precisely because of Brown's comment in ch108.

After all, if our!Ciel, who just managed to thwart their plans of getting the sulin gas, is "more like his father everyday", then it makes sense that Vincent "got in the way" of some of Victoria & JB's war/political plans too. >_>

Now, about the Fenian Cycle book: it was an important symbol for Irish independence and the Fenian Brotherhood that started in the 19th century before it got dissolved in 1880. To quote Wikipedia:

"The Fenian Brotherhood traced their origins back to 1790s, in the rebellion, seeking an end to British rule in Ireland initially for self-government and then the establishment of an Irish Republic. The rebellion was suppressed, but the principles of the United Irishmen were to have a powerful influence on the course of Irish history."

But how would Vincent even get involved with it and why?

In the theory that OC's name is Fenian/Finnian, @azuresins mentioned that maybe it's all related to Cedric K. Ros having Celtic origins. Since we do have one sketch by Yana of one twin bringing the Fenian Cycle book to the Undertaker (the most likely candidate for Cedric K. Ros)...

...it might indeed be a partial answer.

There is another possibility though, entirely thought by @dorkshadows, which is that Rachel (and Ann) might have been of Irish origins too.

After all, a common stereotype for Irish people in many stories is red hair and it's hard to forget that it was a very distinctive characteristic of Ann, Rachel's sister !

In fact, one of their first interactions is Vincent telling Ann to be proud of that hair, which we were told she inherited from her dad, the twins' maternal grandfather.

So Vincent might have not just been talking about Ann's hair color in that scene, but more specifically about her taking more pride in her Irish origins. Obviously though, Dalles/Durless aren't very Irish names, but it is possible that their original family name got anglicized into a more traditionally English name.

In any case, Vincent met Rachel and Ann after already knowing their father :

So it's possible that Vincent was, as the Watchdog, investigating Lord Durless as a nobleman with Irish lineage and possible ally of the Fenian Brotherhood. After all, to quote this article, "the Fenians in England and the British Empire were a major threat to political stability". Then Vincent met and fell in love with Rachel, thus deciding to support the Brotherhood instead.

I'd add that Vincent supporting such a cause simply makes sense, considering that the Phantomhive family, too, might have been burdened by the Watchdog's duty generations ago, because of their "different" lineage (full theory here). On top of that, if you add the possibility that Cedric/UT also was of Celtic origins (many decades or centuries ago) and that Vincent knew Claudia's death was Victoria's fault, it only makes sense that he'd eventually politically antagonize the Queen (both for his parents' sake and for Rachel's).

@dorkshadows also pointed out that, to this day, we don't know if the twins' maternal grandfather is alive or dead in canon : he was important enough to be mentioned in Red's flashback but has been missing from the narrative ever since. Timeline-wise, he could be dead, especially since we never saw him in the Blue Memory arc (our!Ciel's flasback), but we never know with Yana (look at Claudia being hinted in panels ever since the circus arc and probably being incredibly relevant), so it's worth keeping in mind.

Then, moving on to ch132 we know that, when the twins were born, Rachel is the one who named them.

Coincidentally (read: it's probably not a coincidence xD), ch132 had the cover with Vincent reading the Fenian Cycle book to the twins and it's also the chapter in which Vicar Rathbone casually says that one twin/both twins (it's deliberately ambiguous in Japanese) have a name that is "rare for England" :

Many fans, myself included, thought that "Ciel" was the name being discussed there, but maybe they were actually talking about our!Ciel's celtic birth name ! To quote @azuresins, in that case that'd basically mean that, in that scene above, "Vincent said to an ENGLISH PRIEST [...] that people of Celtic origin deserved freedom, and to be treated better and that it probably was soon to come".

No wonder that Vicar Rathbone would immediately change the topic lmao ! xD

Vicar Rathbone be like

It is also very meaningful that Rachel decided to give the "Fionn/Fenian/Finnian" name to our!Ciel ("the spare"), as if to emphasize that he was free to make his own path in life, as the second son, unburdened by earldom. Choosing such a meaningful name might even be a parallel to Vincent's own situation with Frances as his spare, since both also have names with a meaning relating to victory and freedom.

Another important detail, as @azuresins already explained here, is that Fenian Cycle is also a tale of revenge and that our!Ciel parallels Fionn big deal, making it all even more relevant. And maybe Yana left other hints in her artworks too...

Finally, historically the Fenian Brotherhood officially got dissolved around 1880 (the twins were 5 years old), but it's always possible that, in Kuroverse, Vincent managed to make it thrive secretly as the Watchdog. The Fenian Brotherhood caused several incidents, including after 1880 (they assassinated a British Chief Secretary in 1882), so it wouldn't be impossible that the Queen eventually found out that Vincent didn't properly take care of them, because he was supporting them.

And when she found out? Well, she branded Vincent a political enemy and we know the rest (the household was massacred in 1885 and the killer most likely received help from real!Ciel, more details in the real!Ciel mastermind theory hehe).

The idea that Vincent ultimately became a political enemy of Victoria because he fell in love with Rachel makes their death...

...even more emotional to me, since Rachel probably died trying to protect Vincent. T_T

TL;DR that's the Fenian Brotherhood theory: because they supported an Irish rebellious group that wanted freedom, Vincent & Rachel were branded political enemies of Victoria and she & JB plotted their deaths, which led in happenstance to the RCMT.

(friendly reminder that the twins are 7, when Vincent asked Dee to look after them should he die)

I hope it was clear ! Thanks for reading. :))

[projectsekaitakes]

vbs constantly gets shit on the most out of any unit for having "bad writing" because people in this fandom don't have the media literacy to understand any subtlety/nuance in characters

(example: ken and people complaining that he was ooc when pushing vbs in the training arc when he literally had 0 behavior prior that would suggest he'd do otherwise... in general people expect ken to be "best dad" when he's actually a flawed individual who has caused an more damage than just the nagi situation; in earlier card stories it's heavily insinuated that an feels like her dad doesn't love her and has some internalized resentments against both her parents, and then there was also vot...)

additionally, i think the other problem is that people don't treat vbs like what it is.

a shounen.

yeah, of course it's structurally different from the other units, it's in the genre?

like just because an's grief was handled differently (primarily regulated to card stories + area convos + virtual lives) does not mean they overlooked it (also the paywalled/time sensitive lore is a game design issue, not a writing issue, but that's a seperate tangent).

it was done that way because narratively, the story would lose a lot of momentum, and an's character development would be drawn out (her situation with kohane would be pushed back) if we got like one or two more events dedicated to an grieving, for example. i mean, she still was grieving in oyf so idontseetheproblem.

idk i think i structured this poorly

‎

[kawaiichibiart]

....PRSK April Fool's Events I'd like to see happen:

Y'all had to have know this was coming: we play with the NPCs.

Everything is literally the same (visually), the VAs just switch who they play.

This is another obvious one: Sekai Swap

Again everything is (roughly) the same (visually), but the siblings have switched roles. So: Tsukasa is the one who ended up in the hospital and Saki is the one who forgot why she decided to pursue her dreams (in this case it was becoming a pianist). Shiho is the one who was part of a group before joining her current one (Leo/need), who was assigned a role and got bullied for things she couldn't control, and Shizuku's the one who wants to go pro (as an idol of course), so she finds jobs that could help with that (honestly the Hinomoris are giving me the hardest time to figure out a good swap for). Ena is the one who pushes herself too much and compares herself to her friends, while Akito is the one who seeks validation for his singing and gets disappointed when people prefer his selfies and OOTD posts over his singing ones.

The School Sekai, Stage Sekai, and Street Sekai are all created by one person (personal vote goes towards: Saki, Minori, and An, I will also accept Toya because I honestly think that'd be fucking hilarious), the Wonderland Sekai and the Empty Sekai are both created by a group.

Personality swap but the characters keep their....quirks (? I don't know what else to call it). Like, Tsukasa could have Kanade's personality but he'd still be loud as fuck. Ena could have Saki's but still be a bitch (I say that affectionately). Etc., etc.

...we need more kid designs and thus kid 2d models, but SEKAIs were created when they were kids. Saki would visit the School Sekai whenever she was out of the hospital but still unable to see her friends. Minori got to meet Haruka, Airi and Shizuku earlier and they all decided to become idols together. An and Akito are guiding these two, scared, lost, kids around the Street Sekai and introducing them to street music earlier. Tsukasa and Mafuyu are both the only ones who start off alone. Tsukasa goes into the Wonderland Sekai whenever Saki is at the hospital and their parents stay with her. He doesn't like being alone, so the Sekai brings him comfort and it was hard for him to accept that someone else could enter his Sekai. Mafuyu would go to the Empty Sekai to find comfort in Miku. She's a lot more like Len, hiding behind Miku, shy, absolute baby. She also has a hard time accepting others can enter her Sekai. For those two, Sekai was a safe haven, a place to ease themselves and find comfort. So when other people start showing up (not the VS), they're upset.

...this is a sign I've read too many groupchat fanfics: they're all part of a Nightcord (because I'm pretty sure we've all agreed Nightcord = Discord) group chat and all the area conversations are about shit that has been brought up in the chat. Bonus points if all of the convos are mixed units. Extra bonus points if they have no idea who started it in the first place.

I'd love a subtle fuckery where, again, everything is pretty much the same, but certain characters have had their colors swapped. Tsukasa and Saki, Shiho and Nene, Minori and Honami, Shizuku and Kanade...

Unit Shuffle 2: Electric Boogaloo

There's a world where rather than Tsukasa saving Toya, Toya saves Tsukasa. Where Kohane is the one who chooses An as her partner. Where Airi, Haruka and Shizuku are the ones who put on a show for Minori and pull her up on stage in their Sekai because they want her to see as the lights become a pale peachy/orange color for her. Where Mafuyu is the one doing the saving and not being saved.

Different childhood friends. That's it. Potentially could go along with number 10.

Once again, visually, everything is the same, but the last names are all over the place. Meet the Kamishiros: Ichika and Ena. Oh, the Aoyagis? You mean Aoyagi Shiho, Aoyagi Emu and Aoyagi Rui? It's strange how Saki Hinomori and Tsukasa Yoisaki look so alike.

[fitpacs]

I have the slightly angst hc that Ramon learned Portuguese so fast because he really got focused to do it ASAP. Not only because he knows that Fit likes to hear Pac speaking in Portuguese.

I see that it's because, at the end of the day, he's just a kid who is afraid to lose another parent. This time, he's going to make sure that his pai is as comfortable as possible with him, and if it includes him having to learn another language in the shortest time, he'll do that without any doubt.

That's why he can understand Portuguese without translation –this is canon btw. The other day he understood Pac and Bagi's convo even if their language setting was incorrectly configured.

this is canon for me tbh

pac makes both fit and ramon happy, ramon is finally seeing his dad happy for more than a single night (like for events) and ramon is going to do absolutely everything he can to keep his little family unit together, putting this unnecessary burden on his itty bitty shoulders

[utilitycaster]

Could you elaborate on how FCG and FRIDA's date accomplished what people thought Launda and Imogen's convo in 49 accomplished? I've seen a lot of people only engaging with their new relationship as FRIDA being like "I can fix him" even though it's not accurate, especially not after last episode. Thank you for sharing your takes!

Sure!

The general meta surrounding Laudna and Imogen's conversation was that the two of them had been "stripped of choice" and so this conversation was them giving each other room to make choices. The problems I had with that it's just simply not true that Imogen and Laudna have been more victims of circumstance than anyone else in the party, except possibly Fearne (and even she shares Imogen's experience of parental abandonment, although her parents are far more sympathetic than Liliana). Orym's husband was killed because the Ruby Vanguard was seeing if they could bait Vax. Chetney was bit by a werewolf because he had to travel through the Savalirwood in order to get anywhere from Uthodurn on his own. FCG was literally designed to be a killer and has been grappling with that ever since (more below on that, natch). Ashton was, as a child, dragged into a ritual that likely orphaned him and transformed him (it's unclear if the chronic pain comes from the accident later or because of this or a combination thereof, incidentally). They then were nearly killed by weird magic during a job and were given weird powers by Milo.

Honestly, the thread connecting Imogen and Laudna is not that they've had things happen to them without having options - it's D&D, everyone's got a tragic backstory - it's the years of inaction that have yet to be explored, especially in Laudna's case. What unites them is not that they haven't had choices; it's that they haven't made choices. And in that conversation they still don't make choices - Laudna merely reminds Imogen that she can. It's not a bad conversation! But it's not a decisive one. They don't address any of the negative feelings and they don't even really actively choose each other by becoming closer because it's more of the same. As others have pointed out, really all Imogen and Laudna ask of the other is to be there, and that's completely valid. But it feels like for the relationship to go anywhere, particularly in a romantic direction, they would need to push past that. Romance carries with it the potential for change and conflict. It's a choice they're distinctly not making yet, even though it's clearly an option available to them and has been available to them. The person who has been stopping Imogen from making choices is herself.

Meanwhile: FCG and FRIDA's conversation is very emotionally raw! FRIDA admits they've been angry about being brought back with no input, and FCG admits they've been more confused and lost, and they both genuinely thank each other for being there.

The thing that gets me the most is this: FRIDA is able to ask "I don't mean to be too forward, but, if I was your special person, would you try and kill me?" Laudna meanwhile doesn't even ask "would you side with the people who killed me?" or "I understand this is a difficult situation with your mother but could you not side with the people who killed me?" And, honestly? This is so much more demonstrative of giving someone room to have choices than saying "you have choices" because it also gives the asker a choice. Laudna might give Imogen room to make choices, but in doing so deprives herself of agency and advocacy. FRIDA meanwhile is saying "I want this [ie, I am making choices] and I like you and I trust you can make choices; would you choose to be kind to me?" They bond over how neither of them really chose to be awake again, a thousand years later, but they are and they are choosing to see this as an opportunity. It's this fountain of choices and possibilities opening up before both of them. It's dynamic and moving forward rather than staying in the same place.

That's a huge risk to put yourself out there and be vulnerable to someone maybe saying "no" or even "I'd like to but I can't", but FRIDA makes it, and FCG acknowledges it earlier, that they've had their own barriers up and have struggled to let others in but FRIDA is different.

I think this has been a theme in the CR fandom with respect to shipping; I happen to believe that a relationship is most interesting if this is the person you can be honest with and reveal your uglier feelings to. There is another school of thought that centers around the idea that relationships are more about a submission of one's own agency, or protecting the other person without their knowledge, and I don't find those relationships terribly compelling. FRIDA and FCG really feel like the former in a way that Imogen and Laudna currently do not.

[jopetkasi]

Of weekends and things in betweeen...

The thing with having your own place is that when it's hot and humid, you simply run the airconditioner and walk around your unit, naked. of course, I had the drapes spread across less a snooty neighbor from the other building report me for exposing myself.

Saturday came and like any struggling adult out there, it meant errands. But first, lunch. Again, we should normalize and respect people who eat their meals alone. Period.

I went to Watami to satisfy my sashimi cravings and boy, it was a bit expensive. although hindi naman sya Wolfgangs or Antonios young pricing, still it was mahal (sorry na) I ordered a plate of their salmon which was really good mind you (because of the taba) and paired it with ebi tempura which failed my expectations given the price lol.

After lunch, i went to my favorite barber shop for a haircut and had a pedicure. the barber did wonders and the post-cut massage was a welcome relief. manang rose who does my toenails knows I hate the feeling of nail files swiping and applying gamot na pula to make one's feet look rosy red. they know my peculiarities well and i both gave them hefty tips after. done with pampering i did groceries to replenish my pantry. as you can see, if you reach my age, CheezWhiz is essential and so are sulfur soaps to thoroughly wash off bacteria, and yes, a little bit of alcohol wont hurt. the rest of my cart are the usual staples.

the rest of the afternoon was spent solitary with me playing some video games only to realize that my Switch controller is probably busted as the left trigger does not seem to function as it should.

by 5pm i decided to leave the city and be at my parent's house for the weekend. i missed them especially my adopted siblings who now call me "ahiya" which is "elder" brother in Chinese.

early dinner, done. the rest of the family decided to watch The House of Dragons and Piolo Pascual's Mallari since my kuya lent us his projector to give that cinema effect (since we are still scared shit to go to the movies lol) I sat down for a couple of minutes but left since I was already sleepy.

by 10pm, i was roused from sleep thanks to the incessant calls made by Carla. She is asking demanding that I be her plus one (+1) at Francos and I was like "gaga ka ba, galing na ako ng Makati kanina tapos babalik ulet ako?" Too late, she was already parked at our gate and gave me ten minutes to change into a fresh shirt.

of course, being the supportive friend i obliged with the condition that I would sleep during the drive. Thankfully, JanJan was in the passenger seat to keep Carla company because I was way too tired to talk.

Yun pala, the plus 1 was made up for me to meet the guy they introduced me the other night. Carla's real plus one was JanJan pala.

guy: oh you're here!

me: yeah, small world no?

guy: Carla invited me. she said you wanted to see me...

me: uh yeah (liar) i wanted you to join us (liar)

we joined the rest and listened to the ongoing conversation which was mostly payabangan stuff between balding guys in their thirties with the belief that their new vehicles are extensions of their dicks to entice girls.

i am not having that shit down on my throat that night so I excused myself to smoke outside. and surprise, the new guy followed...

guy: bored ka no?

me: sorry I am really sleepy....and the convo

guy. i know. full of shit lol. do you want to go somewhere else?

me: are we having sex? sorry di ko kaya pagod ako sobra.

guy: you are really weird in funny way, jopet.

and so that was how my Saturday night came to an end. Me having a nice chat with this new friend over balut, chicharon, and coke zero at the parking lot.

hours passed and with Carla not showing any signs of wanting to go home, I decided to go ahead and book a grab car (deadma na sa 1 thousand pesos na rate) but the new guy was kind enough to offer me a ride tutal we live in the same village din.

so that was my Saturday...that crossed over to Sunday.

[caramelmochacrow]

thinking about how esora wants to be loved so much... and she doesnt hide it. probably now shown more thanks to her relations event w shinobu but yeah. she hates being lonely. so much.

(ramble. yeah)

in both of the anime, she was never alone. she was with peaky most of the time. in all of the games' event stories (ive read so far), she was always with somebody. she never ever alone because she wanted to be.

like, she just doesnt want to be alone, which is true, but what if i told you esora played piano as a child simply because her parents wanted her to? this young girl, around 3-5 years old, thought that if she played the piano her mother and father will show more affection for her. LIKE.!?!??!?!?

it's messing me up. so much. how much i see myself in this girl. she's me. ive been her. i thought to do something i hate simply bc i thought that my mother and father will love me more. especially my father holy shit. she hates being alone and when she has no one that wants to be with her, she seeks them out. (i do the opposite--)

in one area convo, she's sad she's lonely and when she notices a person she knows she's smiling and goes up to that person. it sounds like esora wants to just disturb a person but in reality it's her finding a way for her to not be alone. so she wont be sad.

and this is probably weird but her and shinobu are honestly alike in a way. it's implied in her 3* card story from the shuffle unit event w nagisa, towa and noa that shinobu regularly spends her time alone in the house. her dinner? pizza delivered to her door. and it sounds like it's something she's so used to she isnt embarrassed to tell her relatives this. nagisa's reaction was surprised but, to me, was like she kind of expected it.

both shinobu and esora have spent most of their childhood alone. i have so much to say for shinobu but this is abt esora so im shushing abt that. that's why their relations event is SO important to esora specifically. shinobu and esora tease each other a lot about this but they never take it too far, they know when too much is too much.

anyway. yeahhhh,. esora right?

[dreams-in-daylight]

-got a glow in the dark skeleton onesie last year

-the way it was folded you couldn’t see it didn’t have a pelvis for some reason

-have a parental unit obsessed w french/taught french

-peppers french into convos on occasion

-likes to use “sans” meaning ‘with out’

-HAS TO STOP MY BRAIN FROM DESCRIBING MY ONESIE AS “SANS PELVIS”

[inqilabi]

do you have any tips on how to muster up the courage to tell your brown parents you don't ever want to get married? my dad is pulling the 'i'm going to be dead soon and want to see you married' card and idk what to do i love my parents but every time the rishta convo happens my throat closes up like my discomfort is absolutely clear but they just ignore it and keep going really need some advice

tbh the only real way is just telling them either 1) you need more time 2) firmly tell them that you will never get married ever because you're not attracted to men. Also if you can move out and add some distance between you and your family. Living under the anxiety of rishtas is just not worth it and distance can help tho it won't make it go completely cos they can still call and pester you

But I do urge you to consider this decision very carefully of whether you actually want to be single and romantically alone. You should have a tight knit circle of female friends. Everything I am saying here I say as someone who is so good at being alone, better than most. And even still it is challenging so I can't imagine it for people who genuinely do desire romantic partnership or even companionship of any kind at all.

There was a post I had back in 2017 that went around a lot. At that point I was very much on the, I will be single forever train and even still I encouraged straight women to date (safely) that was the point of the post was to be safe. Make sure finances and other priorities that men can jeopardize are already in order so that they can't jeopardize it.

But the world isn't really built for single people. And as your friends and family get married and become engrossed in their new family units which are built through romantic partnership, you will start to feel alone and behind and that you don't have anyone to rely on etc. It's just the reality that family units are built through romantic partnerships, not platonic ones altho I've seen a few of those. Old ladies banding together and living in a home as a unit etc.

Just think carefully about what you want to do and act accordingly. With your parents telling them you never want to get married cos you're not attracted to me (which was true in my case) may buy you time or time permanently as in they eventually might leave you alone

[fandom-hoarder]

Updating my dad on medical stuff cuz I told him I would. Doing the good daughter thing. 😶

Had to explain my connective tissue symptoms, including how my right shoulder pops out of socket easily ever since my brother pulled it out when I was 14 (he was 11).

🤦‍♀️ dad doesn't even remember how he abused us as children, let alone enough to properly apologize, and he was a grownass man. but he thinks my 37 y/o bro, who I haven't lived with since I was 17, remembers AND regrets how he abused me as a child? Lololol. We don't even TALK. He doesn't even KNOW I have a trick shoulder. Lmfao

[possessingtheproperspirit]

Hello!! Time after time for the way you left me — Little Harry comes back from wizard play group and someone nasty told him his mummy used to be married to someone else, not his daddy. He asks James and Lily about it with a frown when they’re home. How do they handle the convo? Do they try to explain about the war, about James going missing, about Lily trying to move on and how mummy wasn’t married but she almost was but she always always loved your dad…? (Getting carried away myself!) Would love to see how you’d write it/imagine it 💓

Hi!! Sorry it's taken me a while, I fell down a hole (went back to work) and have only just managed to raise my head again lol. You really went for the throat with this one and I love it. Hope I've done your vision justice!

Many years down the line from the end of the way you left me...

"Daddy," Harry piped up, a forkful of peas half way to his mouth and a sweet frown on his little face. They were used to the intense discussions that Harry wanted to have at every moment of the day; he was a curious boy, and he didn't mind letting his food go cold if he needed a question answered. "Are you definitely my daddy?"

Lily shot James a glance, eyebrows raised, from across the table. Her husband adjusted his glasses, now frowning too, and leaned forward. "'Course I am," he replied. "What makes you think I might not be?"

Harry swallowed down his peas and replied, "Susie at playgroup said mummy was married to someone else and that meant you're not my daddy."

Lily had to set her mug down, blinking in surprise; James looked over at her, and she held his gaze a moment, letting the pieces slot together in her head. Susie at playground - that must have been Susan Bones. Who was Ed's niece.

Well, it was nice to know that her ex-fiance's family still spoke so well of her.

"I wasn't married to someone else," she told her son gently. "But we were engaged - that means, we were planning to get married." Truthfully, it had been a while since she'd thought about that time: the memories were bittersweet, to say the least, and life was so full now, she was so happy, that there was no need to linger on it. "Daddy was...away, for a long time, and..."

She trailed off. Harry was too young to understand the very complex situation they'd found themselves in, and besides, she didn't want to upset him with the news that they'd all thought James had died. Harry was going through a bit of a separation anxiety phase at the moment as it was; adding in the information that his parents were mortal and could disappear out the front door, never to return, was not going to help matters.

Thank Merlin for James. He reached across to give her hand a squeeze, a soft smile on his face as he looked over at their son. "Lots of people have special people in their lives before they get married," he told Harry. "Mummy had someone called Ed who helped her feel better when she was very sad."

Harry looked at his mother appraisingly, a spark of worry still clear in those vivid green eyes. Their little boy was so thoughtful, so caring: it was times like this that she wanted to gather him up in her arms and never let go. (All the time, really. Sometimes he let her, sometimes he was more interested in playing with his toys.)

"You got happy again, Mummy?" Harry asked earnestly.

"I did," she confirmed. "And Daddy makes me happy, and you do, too."

Harry beamed. "And Uncle Padfoot and Uncle Moony? And Aunty Mary?"

Lily laughed. "Yes, them too."

"Lots of things make Mummy happy now," James added, leaning in a little further and lowering his voice as if about to share a secret. "You know what makes her really happy?"

Harry dropped his fork and leaned in, too, his eyes wide. "What?"

"Stealing chips off little boys' plates," James whispered.

Harry let out a horrified gasp, tugging his plastic Puddlemere United plate - his prized possession - towards himself and away from his parents. "No!"

Lily laughed, standing up - and she couldn't resist ducking down to press a kiss to her son's cheek. "You'd better eat them up quick, then, Harry."

A minute or so of contented munching followed, only interrupted by, "Daddy? What's at the bottom of the sea?"

It seemed like Harry had moved on already.

[wherewhereare]

Perhaps the convo on King should be shelved. We have absolutely no insight and are basing behavior on, of all things, on social media. For every example of him behaving one way there is another example of him happy and engaged with GB and family. This kid sees a happy family unit at home. But he sees his dad constantly moan and whine about his life. Didn’t want the divorce. Can’t give them that family unit. His “loan wolf” bs references. 9 years after divorce has gone through one paid for relationship after another. King gives his attention to the parent he feels needs constant affirmation. He will learn it will never be enough. But he’s 18. Still in school. And still growing emotionally. One last thing. The reason I’m suggesting this topic be shelved is a particular ml fan, not just that Reen troglodyte, copies posts from the blogs and post them on her Twitter acct. If you don’t think media sites don’t pay attention think again. 2 months ago Wide Open Country took a tweet that Bitsy had posted and wrote an article using the tweet. They can take anything we post and say it’s a source. Buggs mentioned ml fans were doing this awhile back. Just a thought

It is probably a good idea to shelve it now. And, yes, I did mention ML fans were doing this a while back.

[17gz]

do you mind me asking what just happened w you guys’ roommate? of course lmk if youd rather not talk about it, i just didnt wanna ask about the situation through replies and thought itd be better to ask here in case youd wanna answer privately 🙁 regardless i hope you two are okay

tldr:

a friend i've known for 6 years + the two of us moved into this apartment last summer

i'd lived w this friend a few years before this and i thought they'd grown and worked on shit (boy was i wrong)

things were okay in the first half of our lease, minor problems but it seemed like we had a good foundation laid out for living together and we had plans to renew when this current lease ended

abt 4 months ago, my roommate met this person off a dating app and they basically immediately got together and their partner showed up one day and never left

even after trying to put boundaries down abt this, they didnt listen to any of it

i also don't trust their partner bc everyone thats met them has caught some of their lies. their entire story doesnt check out

the partner (on the day our friend found recent texts on their phone to their ex) got evicted from their old place bc they couldnt pay rent and they kinda cornered us and "asked" if their partner could live with us (not paying any rent btw) and we had rly no choice but to say yes

on top of that, their partner has been fatphobic and shitty and disrespectful to us on a near daily basis. nobody in my friends life likes this partner, not their parents or any of their friends, and especially us. i tried talking to my friend about this and they acted like they took it seriously but clearly didn't...

shit kept building after they were making us feel uncomfortable and intrusive in our own apartment for 4 months, and initially i said we could renew the lease since $875 rent per person sounded tempting + i found this unit + i like this unit + i hate moving, but it just really wasnt a good idea

the final straw was my friends partner being extremely rude and disrespectful to my high school friend during pride (my hs friend is a trans woman) and when we talked to them about it, they denied everything and deflected so fucking hard, we were completely fed up with it and realized that 4 months of this has been hell and i can't do another 12 months of this

last tuesday, we told them that we would not be renewing our lease, which ends july 30. we apologized about the late notice, and explained our side and tried to be as sympathetic and helpful as possible abt them renewing the lease with other roommates, but they were upset and i get being upset, so i was giving them some space etc

we made our conversation as mature and non aggressive as possible, ive been trying to stay as collected and polite as physically possible, especially since we are the only two men in this unit

they started being extremely passive aggressive and rude and awful to us throughout the past week, and even when i was helping them figure shit out with our landlord etc, they were still so rude to us... i mean slamming doors and stomping their feet and rolling their eyes when we walk past and deadbolting the door when we leave the apartment etc

after so much hostility etc in this unit, we stayed with mutual friends for the weekend and we told them abt everything and they were all extremely supportive and said we were not at all in the wrong for this, and that we have been extremely patient with them for so long. even a friend i didnt expect to side with us was 100% on our side and wants to talk to them one on one

we're in the process of applying for a new unit and fingers crossed we can move out asap. we started properly packing today, and during that, our friend asked to talk to us

they asked what we left out of our convo and what personal issues we had, i said i'm not comfortable talking about that until we're in our separate apartments and things have cooled down more. they were really mad that i was firm on that, they accused us of creating the tension and hostility in the apartment, despite the fact that we have actively been avoiding causing shit because our stress levels are through the roof and they're already demonizing us to others bc we put down a boundary, i can't be petty etc and give them an actual reason to demonize us.

as we kept talking, they were like. shaking with rage with a smile on their face and saying passive aggressive shit to us and saying we need to move out sooner than our planned move out date...

important context: my dad is the guarantor, i found this unit, and 99% of the furniture etc we have here is ours.

(disclaimer before i say this, i know various people with BPD. people that will take accountability for their actions and take steps to work on their coping mechanisms and behavior etc.) but this "friend" has BPD that they use as an excuse for every single one of their shitty actions and does not take any responsibility for their behavior. their partner, as far as i know, is not diagnosed with anything and while i'm no psychiatrist, i've had 3 diff people (including my actual psychiatrist) say this is telltale NPD. again not to say that makes you a terrible person, but when you don't take any steps to work on yourself etc and harm others around you, thats what i take issue with. its the definition of a volatile BPD + NPD relationship...

ive also been there for this friend more times than i can count. i've wiped so much snot and tears from their face, i've put aside my own shit to help them and i've done so much for them. thats rarely been reciprocated... they do not give a shit about us and it completely showed today when they talked to us and it became clear they were trying to financially trap us here and they're furious that we put a boundary down. they treat us like their parents, their therapists, and their savings account, and if we EVER did something like that to them, the fallout would be nuclear.

i'm literally shaking typing this and hearing them come out of their room slamming doors and shit. i don't know what they're capable of, and i don't know if they're planning on doing anything, but im afraid because i don't know. i've been having nonstop panic attacks recently and the living situation here is adding immense stress on top of the apt hunting process and moving process. i feel fucking sick genuinely

i'm sure i've left a LOT out, but its been nightmarish here

[louvay]

Finished Fjorming Bonds and I gotta say, it was quite disappointing.

Let’s start off with Febail’s: It starts off pretty strong during the C and B scenes with Febail helping out an orphanage with Peony. But then he decides to act all melodramatic and begin to self loathe himself for being a mercenary who helped the Empire with the child hunts and likely killed someone’s parents too with Peony telling him that this isn’t a burden he has to carry. He tells her what would she as a light fairy know about being parentless which Peony elaborates on her past. Febail then suddenly does a 180 and says “you know you’re right I should use my bow to bring hope to children”

The whole melodrama and self hate is something they took from Febail’s convo with Seliph in Fe4 Chp 8 where he apologizes profusely to Seliph for fighting him and that he realized he was a hypocrite for working with the Empire despite wanting to provide for the children who lost their parents because of said Empire. Otherwise, there is no implications in-game that Febail did any actual atrocities or helped with the child hunts especially since he outright tells Bloom, his employer, that he isn’t going to do his dirty work.

Patty: She wants to impress Shannan and gain his love and attention but Larcei tells her to piss off because she’s being clingy to him. She thinks Larcei is looking down at her skills so Patty, Fjorm and Reginn all go to fight in a skirmish to see if Patty can gain funds. It turns out Patty can’t steal any money from her enemies, making her worthless as a thief in Askr, and that Larcei was actually talking about her living up to her fame as being an honorable thief. Patty still fawns over Shannan in the end with no character change or growth.

It’s a meta joke regarding gameplay with how army funds are different in Fe4 compared to the other games where it’s on individual units rather than for the whole army. Funny FB but Patty never acts serious throughout the whole thing. Not even to the mention of her being a thief to provide for the orphanage which is something she somewhat took pride in Fe4. Also they keep hyping up Patty x Shannan despite Shannan never once appearing in the FB and it looking very one sided.

Ced: He fawns over Leif so much that you’d think he’s in love with the little guy. Ced goes around doing noble things and securing the future for Askr like a noble guy. Pretty boring but the ending where Leif explains that Ced is also a crusader in his own right because he never once abuses his powers and always is planning ahead for the people is actually pretty nice characterization for Ced. He is the second coming of the Crusader Ced and it makes for a nice contrast to Ishtar/Reinhardt’s titles and pride in their power.

The biggest problem with this one is that it implies Ced didn’t stay in Manster to help the ailing people out just like what his mother would’ve done according to Fee. He pities himself and says that his actions in Manster were done out of a mere whim which is blatantly false. All this just to hype up Leif which wasn’t even the point of Ced’s speech to Leif in Fe5. It was supposed to reassure Leif that he has every right to stand amongst him (Ced) and Seliph because of his efforts in waging an uphill war like that.

Fee: Best one of them but the bar was already low. Fee gets happy yet embarrassed now that she knows her aunt is alive in Askr and how she named her pegasus Annand in memory of her which would make things awkward between the pegasus and the aunt. Karin tries to explain to her how it’s just based on customs but Fee tells her it’s different now that said hero is still alive with them. It ends with Lilith coming in to read Fee’s pegasus’ mind and tells Fee that Annand is proud of being called that. Then Fee gets a heartwarming meeting with her aunt where she tears up and Annand tells her that she reminds her of Erinys back when she was also a cadet.

Great FB and all but where’s Arthur? He was the one who initially poked fun at Fee in Fe4 for naming her pegasus like that and it would’ve been a perfect time to show the two as partners. They could’ve switched Lilith out and had Arthur be the one to tell Fee that her pegasus wants to be named Annand.

Oh and no Erinys and Brigid/Eyvel here. They don’t meet their kids in this FB. Fantastic IS