scattered-dandelions

[scattered-dandelions]

Where we tread the fine line between fervor and fear, Embracing the chaos, the beauty, the tear.

For, in our fierce love, we blaze through the haze.

— David Cronenberg, Consumed

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[scattered-dandelions]

“But your Hands have the same warmth.”

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Diary entry, April 11th, 

… The prospects of love and sex almost grow uninteresting, unless there’s an unattainable, off-limits, or psychologically dark aspect to them. I’m not even concerned about fixing that about myself, as arrogant as that is; I don’t care to unlearn it. It’s restrictive, but it’s how I feel. I have the self-awareness to understand the reasons; after years of begging for the love of one man and being sexually used by him, normal love looks like a peaceful landscape painting that I do admire from afar and imagine myself within, yet it’s dull and predictable. It’s like there’s nowhere to go from here, except craving another stormy relationship, and taboo or dysfunctional desire. But I’m too careful and afraid to seek that out now. I feel as if I’m in passion’s limbo, only ever craving what’s unattainable to me, all the while being always alone.

—OnyxHeart

[scattered-dandelions]

It amazes me, how, one day we're all going to forget what once surrounded us - our closed ones and everything beyond- till the end of time. The only thing we'll be able to do is just look them dead in the eyes, with, no emotions, no memories, no warmth, no love or whatsover, only ever subconciously staring into the void, calm and cold, completely oblivious to who stands right or wrong in front of us before finally breathing our last breath...

The human world=An absolute mess noone willingfully asked to be part of. Yet here we are...

-ScatteredDandelions

[scattered-dandelions]

Eventually soulmates meet, for they have the same hiding place.

Robert Brault (via quotemadness)

In the realm of the dead, our lies have barely sought the purest haven.

ScatteredDandelions

[scattered-dandelions]

Such fatal tragedy shall bleed through the visible wounds and the memories of which will be a lifelong curse through my undeniably questionable laziness.

ScatteredDandelions

god said your fatal lifelong curse is that you’re a perfectionist who’s also irrevocably and appallingly lazy

[scattered-dandelions]

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence.

R. Arnold (via quotemadness)

Silence being our utmost beautiful and unsettling cry for love.

ScatterredDandelions

[scattered-dandelions]

It's always "I am here for you" and never "No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her."

Copied : Your-local-gaystie

It's always "I love you" and never "the only Heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you"

[scattered-dandelions]

If only we could kiss the rain back.

ScatteredDandelions

i don't get how ppl can hate the rain ? like.....the ocean came all this way to give the world tiny kisses & u treat her like this ???

[scattered-dandelions]

Even if it means forgoing what we once called love.

ScatteredDandelions

“I believe in the person I want to become.”

— Lana Del Rey

[scattered-dandelions]

One could say it's a constant occurrence, solely a part of our lives and that's not okay.

Scattered-dandelions

I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.

Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn't thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend' and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?

It's been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

[scattered-dandelions]

Unbeknownst to us ending up creating tiny little bits of our future illusions.

ScatteredDandelions

Distortion

A ringing in the ears

Uncanny, yet a resemblance to white noise

Or the needles pinning your legs after sitting for too long

When confronted with the idea of failure,

our minds can easily develop a craving for clarity,

A thirst to flip the shame and misunderstanding into a

Reality we can comprehend.

A realm of anarchy blends together as the answers we seek are lost into an abyss

Paralysis sinks into our nervous systems like venom into our veins

We beg for amnesia, hoping these drowning feelings of failure and inadequacies dissipate

Through it all we learn to shed the lingering confusion to accept that failure is never the end

It's not a black hole trapping us

It's the beginning of a brighter journey

Enhanced by the our experiences

Molding us to be that much better than yesterday

[scattered-dandelions]

Nothing sounds just as stupid as being a mere follower of someone else's opinions, smh.

ScatteredDandelions

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

— Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

[scattered-dandelions]

Together we might have been sinners Yet to others we were plain winners.

-ScatteredDandelions

Oh Treasure

But how can I not love you, dear Each day and night I need you near For you, my Love, are all to me Without you I just cannot be

Oh why did you go I really miss you so There is just no way That in this world I stay

Good-bye, my sweetest treasure I hope you'll find the pleasure All good things life can give I hope still long you'll live

© Fynn E. Fox

[scattered-dandelions]

It’ll never not be you, even if it means never knowing what we could have been, somewhere or somehow, it still will never not be you.

-ScatteredDandelions

an indirect ode to the talons of impulse (that had us)

apparently, i got myself embarassingly drunk a few days before christmas and told my best friend of fifteen years and counting that it’ll simply just be never not you. and though the process of recalling having said conversation with said best friend was rather a shameful one, i was able to settle within myself that on the miniscule chance that i will tell you about this entire situation i have going on wherein i am somehow convinced that i am unconditionaly tethered to your existence, i will do it properly.

i’ll get you the yellow wildflowers that i grew up seeing in my neighbourhood because the color has always reminded me of the brighter, less violent parts of my mind  — the brighter, less violent place where you and all the memories of us i have managed to salvage reside. 

it’ll be over dinner or afterwards as we watch the ferries dock or whilst the sun is setting or at the very least, it will not be in the middle of a convenience store while you’re choosing from their questionable brands of canned iced tea.

and my voice will threaten to waver but i will tell myself that all this formality isn’t in anyway an attempt at higher-priced pretentiousness just because we both have miserable part-time jobs now and i can (hopefully) afford it. rather, it is because we are older now. still pretty young. but no longer as viscerally grasped by the talons of impulse. and because i want you to be able to tell for yourself that i’m doing it not because of some unrequited pursuit for adrenaline that was all the rage for me back then. not because it’s the decision that thrills me for the lack of consideration i have put into it.

i want you to see that i have been thinking of you. and i want you to see that i have been thinking of us and just how unconventional this all is. and i want you to finally see that yes, for me, it’ll just never not be you.

[scattered-dandelions]

It all comes down to the person you look for in a crowded room.

(via perfectfeelings)

Yearning the presence of a ‘’supposedly’’ unbeloved, only to realize she never belong there in the first place.

-ScatteredDandelions