#conversational sensational
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how I feel like this flight is abt to end
#this abt to be the greys episode where they get stuck on the island#but maybe Kuras will do some divine intervention and like save us#sitting too close to Leander would instantly make me recoil#I just know that man’s voice can be heard from behind and he’s loudly making conversation#I wonder if it’s a weird sensation for Kuras to fly in a plane and not like- with his wings#I would sit by Ais but I ugly sleep on planes#touchstarved musings#touchstarved game
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finally stepped foot on the sacred grounds of miraculous ladybug
#so i went outside to touch grass and ended up in. paris#it has been a Weekend <- ticked off the list every possible tourist attraction (and a few underrated spots) in less than 4 days#and man. that is one big city#excellent food. surreal views. strange but wonderful sensation of seeing that famous landmarks/paintings/french ppl actually exist#also great place to converse in all the languages you know :D it's like the whole world is there#history all around. very musical. spotted a little girl in a lb onesie. the grass-touching was literal (had to see that one stadium)#got a custom shirt of my fav player and a dazai noodle stopper. also the muscle soreness of all time <- all of them thoroughly worth it#yk i COULD proudly say i was just plagging around paris- except no lazing around was done whatsoever#quite possibly the experience of the year 😌#now if you'll excuse me i need to sleep until christmas
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had the same feeling once i realized ppl literally meant they're seeing images in their heads. pretty crazy how different we could all think and not realize. hearing is the only sense i can imagine so the way you and I process information must be completely different in shape and there was a high chance we would never realize
the fact that in all of human history no two people have ever had the same experience of the universe just makes me go crazy if i think about it too long. your consciousness is a completely different shape from my consciousness! i will never know how you see red and you will never know how i see it! fuck!
#i remember asking my friend once how he achieved that kind of naturalistic conversational tone in his writing#and he told me he just wrote down the words that were in his head#like ?? you can DO that???#the idea that for some people the words are already there pre-formed and they can transcribe them as they're happening is. insane to me.#i think purely in images and sensations and abstract ideas#whenever i speak or write it's like i'm translating from one medium to another
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Just finished another class on how to not put my foot in my mouth and it's soooo validating to know people have to learn these skills like anything else. I've signed up for uhhh I think this is like my 3rd or 4th? And experts on how to not sound like a dick will school me and 30 other professionals on how to not sound like a dick. Wiiiiiiild how much there is to learn on the intricacies of communication :O
#Creepy chatter#Professionally I've been trained on the SCARF model a lot but this is the first they linked neuroscience :o#We discussed how to avoid accidentally triggering fight/flight/freeze by limiting perceived social threats#Which is sooo neat bc I've had a similar discussion w my therapist and both said essentially the same thing#Your brain DOES experience social threat/injury just like a physical threat/injury. Right down to a pain sensation.#Just like lol...being aware of that can make navigating conversations a little more understandable tbh#In F/F/F mode your brain literally does not use its logic center. We have entered unga bunga survival instincts.#Idk I have been enjoying this type of learning. Very psychology based w a focus on improving relationships :)
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(mgv) if house needs touch for his pre-heat to soothe his antsy hindbrain, wilson will find particular joy in scratching his chin. house never outright asks for it if he can help it, the touch, but wilson's pretty good at reading him and figuring out what he needs. and chin scratches are his favorite because it's like house's weak spot. yknow, besides the other bigger stuff. he'll press further into wilson's hand, his good leg bouncing (one time wilson did standing chin scratches and house almost ate shit so this is a sit-down activity), and start purring once the endorphins kick in. the closer to house's heat, the more likely he'll have to have his held up by wilson by the end of it. it's such a far cry from house normally to let himself enjoy something good for him so wilson tries to keep the teasing to a minimum even though the temptation to do so is so very strong
#house mgv#mgv#projecting a teensy bit#my friend and i wiggle our feet as reflexes to emotional stimuli#for her it's like a tail wagging thing but for me it's mostly if something cold makes contact with one of my busted teeth#but i noticed i wiggle some lately from just scratching a good itch#well i guess hers is emotional mine's just sensations#anyway. wilson finds the whole thing SUPER endearing#there's absolutely been at least one instance of ducklings coming in to tell house test results for their patient of the week#and finding house and wilson on the couch in wilson's office with house's head in wilson's palm#and they carry on the conversation like that. he's not gonna collapse if wilson took his hands back but neither make the move#then when they leave house just pointedly presses his chin to wilson's hand to signal they're not done here yet
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You blamed me. But what is the difference between pulling away slowly and doing it all at once. In the end, we will still end up being the ghost of each other anyway.
Excerpts from a book I'll never write, William
#i cut off my ex because he was slowly pulling away from me... he left me on read occasionally..#he stopped the conversations we were having in 3 places and limited it to 1... instagram#he used to send me 20+ reels a day which i loved to scroll through but eventually it only ended up being 1 or 2#and that was destroying me#he was like a kamikaze plane and i- pompeii#i was crying every day...#it was torture... it still is even though i have pulled away again.. completely this time... i cant do this to myself#i can't stay.. but i want him to change.#tags#mine#writer#pompeii#kamikaze#kamikaze drones#kamikaze sensation#writing#writing community#writers#writers on tumble#sad poetry#sad poets#sad poems#sad poem#the tortured poets department#tortured artist#the tortured poets society#words#text#poem#poems
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While I've had a four (five?) year old clung to my leg all afternoon, my brain had been stuck on three things tied to Kafka, of which I'll share two over here.
Her name. The more I think about and hear Kafka's name pronounced, the more I fall utterly and madly in love with it. I'm absolutely enamored with how Daman (especially, ship-bias aside) pronounces it, but also Cheryl herself, and Melissa (Silver Wolf), along with the emphasis that Adin (Sam) puts to it. There's something about it that commands such attention, but it also somehow possesses something so inherently feminine, even if the name has no roots as a name for a woman whatsoever. It's still almost exclusively used as a surname in eastern Europe, and in the excessively rare context that it's used as a first name, it's for a man. And yet, I can't shake the feminine rarity of it. It drives me crazy, actually.
Feral, I don't know how to title this. The absolute intense difference, and contrast between a woman that reaches up and wraps her arms around a man's neck when she's kissed. And the inherent intimacy of the kind of woman who never does so at all, and instead, will grasp at the front of a shirt, or of the lapel of a jacket. And it's not to pull down, or to keep him down by force, but as an additional way to connect, for him to feel the intensity of her reaction. It's about being enveloped, it's about being crowded in, and entirely and thoroughly subjecting yourself to it, allowing it to drown and overwhelm you in its entirety.
#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ i absolutely blame a specific individual and a conversation yesterday before i slept. ]#[ it's just. /chef's kiss. ]#[ it's about the romanticism. and it's about the intensity of even the small actions. ]#[ the sensation; rather than the direct actions. ]#[ /shakes fist aT THE PERSON IN QUESTION. ]
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i’m going to survive on sheer force of will and like 3 advil a day
#assumedly i’m in a lot of pain but my brain is helpful for once and has shut off most of that sensation so i’m fine#i’ll regret it later when this wears off and the emotional and physical burden of being alive gets me. but until then#consequence is that it also shut off the half of my brain responsible for social conversations. unfortunate#delete later
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I wish i was a boy so i could get my ears pierced and piss off so many stupid people but be soso beautiful 😔😔😔
#just had to endure the most stupid fucking conversation#i feel like especially when you KNOW men who have their ears pierced like its giving insecure#and unnecessarily nasty#and mind your business#i need to cut my hair really short again so i can balance the world#actually lets talk about that in these tags rn because why not#i have really been grappling lately with whether i like having my hair a bit longer or not#because Technically i look 'Better' with it a little longer. but the main reason i like it short because the physical sensation of hair on#my neck etc bothers me soooooooo much. like i can live with it. its not a big deal but bruhhh#if i honestly thought i could pull it off i would shave my head entirely. but i simply like the Look of hair on my head so here we are#but yeah hashtag annoying and idk what to choose#le text post#anyways. any and every gender can do whatever the fuck they want to their body and wear what they want and ppl should stop saying its weird#or gay or feminine or whatever the fuck else they think is an insult!!!!!#aaaaaaaaaaaa
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Books of 2023: DISORIENTATION by Elaine Hsieh Chou.
I tend to wait for lit fic in paperback instead of purchasing the hardback, but I've had my eye on this one since the hardback came out. I'm enjoying it so far! The Goodreads reviews are very polarized (people either love it or think it's hugely stupid), but it's easy to read and has made me laugh out loud a couple times (like weaponizing a box of jumbo tampons + toilet for a Heist Cover--this shit is ridiculous, I love it).
#books#books of 2023#disorientation#elaine hsieh chou#book photography#yarn#also ingrid's 29yo life/career crisis is. too relatable.#apparently this was a booktok sensation which. fear.#but it's the right level of absurd and stupid for me lol and i do appreciate the different kinds of conversations the asian women have vs--#--white men and asian women lmao#a lot of salty GR reviews are 'this is 101 level stuff' but like. sometimes people need 101 lol#and ingrid is such a mood about a lot of things XD
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Thinking about how the durge probably has autopsy scars. Here's my headcanon for what my durge (Ryl) has got going on after they left Kressa Bonedaughter's "loving care"
(Also if anyone has any fic recs where the companions react to that revelation please share)
#that conversation at the end of act 2 was chilling#and no one said anything#the fuck#the durge should have a massive fuck off autopsy scar#he probably has a loss of sensation on his chest#and like? issues#its probably still healing in act 1#hes probably dealing with an infection (#or multiple infections#on top of everything else#ryl#half drow#dark urge#the dark urge#bg3#baldurs gate 3#durge#autopsy#vivisection#scars
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Have you ever noticed your heart speaking to someone else’s heart?
Someone you didn’t know or barely knew?
It’s really an interesting feeling 🙈
Not love or romantic. More like feeling it move differently (your heart).
#heart#talk#hearts speak#listen#feel#sense#have you ever?#different#teaching my body to feel#sensation#whisper#senser#lha#1introvertedsage#intsa original#silent conversations#never noticed#personal#thoughts
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mmmmmmmmmm self esteem doko
#ending the day the weekend once again with the sensation of hopelessness#but as always therapy and medication is expensive#digging about for self confidence like i can do this right???? right??!#the#paralysing fear of failure but whos calling it a failure#anyway this vodka was a fucking mistake#if theres any substance out there that turns me into a depressed mush is this#aaaaUaggHhGhGhahgshsbskahsnxosndd fucking hell#anyway time to like slsep this off and pretend im super ok.#AAH i swear im gonna get a diagnosis idk what i have but i definitely got something#money tho#!!!#!;!&;’dkaonsndbcoxchnfnf#i think too much about kms but im never gonna do it bc im a chicken#which is great bc my gf cares about me and i care about her#but im such a fucking piece of garbage otherwise#traaaaaaaahhhhsshhshshghh animal#im just a fuckjgn mess of a person who cant keep friendships or relationships because i cant talk to people like a normal person im sorry#i run away from every conversation idk what to say im jjsgbf coward .#im like haha !!! ace this ace that but then meaningful relationship starts outside of fandom yknow#i . xhdh.#is it normal to cry alot but then you feel absolutely nothing like youre aware this is a cleanse#periods of crying every single day but then months where its like ooh you dont deserve to.
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@ervaurem asked: "How come you don't believe me?" ( from kokichi aka let's bring back beautiful irony woo )
❛ well...look at your track record, then ask me that question again. ❜ albeit said in a light manner, clearly indicating sayu was only joking, there was a semblance in truth there - since childhood, all she grew up to were kokichi's lies spewing to everyone. all that, just to ensure a picture perfect, blanked slate for the master of deceptions and pranks. nobody ever dared to dig too deep, either not caring or hating him too much to even consider what were his real thoughts, but the ultimate j-rock sensation wasn't the same as them. unlike him, her doll-like façade gave her an opportunity to see through others and think more rationally and, well, in a more sympathetic nature. it's ironic how the two were different yet so similar...two sides of a same coin, huh?
the girl sighs before a hand reaches to gently tuck some dark purple strands off kokichi's face. ❛ honestly, ko-chan...anytime you plan one of your pranks, i'm always the one worrying for your safety. it's not that i don't believe you, it's just... ❜ was it ironic for her to believe a pathological liar? ❛ ...would it kill you to do this in a less chaotic way? we've been here for one minute and yet you're already scheming. hehe, is the ultimate supreme leader bored~? ❜
#♩ 》 ( answered. ) // text messages.#♩ 》 ( ic. ) // simple yet pleasant conversation.#♩ 》 ( verse. danganronpa. ) // ultimate j rock sensation.#ervaurem#DONT LOOK AT HOW LATE THIS IS BUT DMKRGMKTGKM GOD THEM#only sayu can sass him like this like its nbd smfh#TRULY HE HAS MET HIS MATCH !!!#♩ 》 ( queue. ) // crying at the goth rave.
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I have, despite the gloomy wet Pit I've been living in for the past few months (in a metaphorical sense), been trying harder to actually commit to making material improvements in my life, fixing things, replacing things, getting rid of stuff that doesn't work for me.. and it's been nice! I took some pants and made some shorts, I got myself some new summer shoes (I haven't had a pair of sandals in over 5 years!!! insane!!!), finally hunted down bed sheets that actually fit, fixed my tablecloth... etc etc and just today I got some nice sturdy hard plastic wheels from work to replace the absolutely Crushed ones that originally came on the cart I use to get groceries and they're Perfect except I can't figure out how to fucslkdnfsding keep them on there... I was hoping I could extricate the axle mechanism from the old wheels as those were perfectly in tact but alas they are just Not coming out... so for now I have made makeshift blockades on the ends of the axle so I can buy Food tomorrow and I'll just have to keep Pondering how to more permanently affix them on there... it's a good thing I work at a Hardware Store
#monster noises#I need to rig something up that's gunna lock in place...#and not get forced off by the pressure from the wheel#I made this post because I wanted to talk about this but I've been overcome with the sensation#that because I haven't Already discussed this particular hardship#(grocery cart wheels be Fucked)#with any of my friends I'm not Allowed to have this follow up conversation#which#is Ridiculous#but hey the brain is a silly place to live
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