#context: vday

[lapdogchase]

message to all aromantics please survive

[goldenpinof]

I never thought I’d see what dnp making an April fools joke about their relationship would actually look like…

vday video walked so April fool's 2023 could run

[naritaren]

Therapy was good. We talked about my mother again.

She asked me a very important question: "have you ever done trauma work around your mom?"

hahaha no

We also talked about the Valentine's Day shit and came to the same conclusion as my old therapist. Let's just leave that one alone.

[fairymint]

... so i might have gotten really into Moonstone Island thanks to the winter sale.

but i do want to dedicate some time to RP soon, maybe on Xmas Eve (i work a day shift) or even tomorrow.

that said, if you'd like any holiday based interactions, now's a good time for me to encourage it; I'll be open to it all before February hits and i go nuts for my favorite occasions-

[poppyseed799]

OH MY GOSH!!!! VALENTINE’S DAY ON A TUESDAY!!!!!

[freckliedan]

Wait you reblogged something about dnp getting outed before the height of the careers? Did I miss something lol when were they outed

oh my god. i love that this is not something everyone knows anymore. but it's also absolutely fucking insane to me that this knowledge could potentially be lost. it's the biggest piece of context necessary for understanding them.

they were outed in 2011 on a smaller scale and again in 2012 on a massive scale, both times by the same video.

on september 17th of 2011 there was a platform wide glitch on youtube where, at random, a bunch of videos that had been uploaded and listed as private were suddenly unprivatized.

one of the videos that was unprivatized was a deeply earnest private message to dan that phil uploaded on february 13th of 2010, because dan was in india with his family and it was their first valentine's day together. there are a lot of intimate details about their early relationship in this video.

it gets called the vday or valentine's day video by phannies because it was titled ":3".

it was only up for a couple hours, but there are posts from phannies within that span. they reached out to people asking that it not be circulated with a poor cover story (that it was a prank they thought better of because it would be too mean).

people did not publicly circulate it for a period of time, but on halloween of 2012 it got posted publicly and got spread everywhere immediately. that's the second and more major outing.

in the years of like, 2013 thru the end of tatinof era at least but likely longer than that? if it got posted anywhere publicly it would get copyright struck by phil and removed. i don't have a definitive end date but the copyright strikes aren't still happening.

the leak is absolutely what lead to the peak era of dan and phil's closeting. understanding their need for control and how momentous it is that they trust us with anything requires knowledge of this context, imo.

i don't reccomend watching it. i haven't in some time.

i am open about the fact that i did watch it as a teenager in november of 2012, back when it was still circulating on tumblr. when i returned a couple weeks later to rewatch it, the entire blog i'd originally seen it on had been nuked for copyright infringement, and that wasn't uncommon for the era.

it was a really bad time in the phandom. dan briefly made a "customer service" sideblog & vehemently shut down people speculating on his sexuality/relationship with phil.

all of the archival information we have on dan and phil—the dailybooths, the formsprings, the old tweets, the videos they've taken off their channels, liveshows, vyous, etc? so much of that information was saved despite dan and phil trying to eradicate it in the immediate aftermath of the leak.

it's incredible that we still have it all, and even more incredible that images from phannie archives have made it into their videos several times from 2019 onward. their relationship with us has changed so drastically since 2012, in ways beyond what we could've imagined at the time.

yes, they were outed. that's the context for everything.

[lukolabrainrot]

That Damn Polaroid™ (and Some Thoughts on the Events in April/InStyle Stunt)

This polaroid... Nicola, Nicola, Nicola 😂

This polaroid still gets me today. Like, yes, this was for PR to some extent, BUT this was also SUCH a public statement. We know N has her phone ALL THE TIME. And (from what we know) the picture was on her phone for WEEKS (MONTHS technically). L appeared fine too with it being there (at least from what we know in the interviews where they talked about it). And that wasn't just like a cutesy little picture of two friends/coworkers. It was a 🔥/powerful pic. And as I mentioned here, N uses pictures as a way of communicating with others. And her excuse that she just "didn't have any pockets at the time", so she put the photo there (and proceeded to keep it there for MONTHS) 🙄 Sure Jan... So, with all of this context, I'm first going to talk about some of my thoughts on what was going on between L/A between the end of February to beginning of April, what was going on between L/N in April up until the Italy stops (including thoughts on the InStyle Stunt), and then at the end I will talk about my thoughts on WHY N had that photo on her phone for such a long time and the deeper meaning it might have had then just promoting the show.

Heads up, this is going to be a longg post...

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I think this post from @newghlan pretty much sums up what I think was going on between L/A during end of February to early April. There was MAJOR flirty energy between L/N during the VDay event and BAFTAs. I talked a little bit here about how there was a very brief clip from the BAFTAs where they look like they got caught when they were embracing each other. I highly recommend checking out the video if you haven't already, because the noverbal cues speak VOLUMES. And it's just interesting that they would look like they got caught at this public event? It read to me that for SOME reason, they did not want that small clip to be captured and put out to the public 🤔

My theories are that by the BAFTAs, A was NOT happy about L/N's chemistry and connection. Maybeee L promised to redirect his attention to A, which is why L wasn't seen at/didn't go to the Big Mood premiere, and why L took A to LA with him and agreed to the InStyle Stunt to appease her. I've never doubted that L has probably had feelings for A (although I still think it was/is fairly casual), but like tbh, I'm CERTAIN his feelings for N are SO MUCH DEEPER. So when those feelings came flooding back when they did reshoots in December 2023, and then had to proceed right into working on promotion in January (which I think just made all the feelings stronger), I feel like he probably had some guilt because he was TRYING to explore his relationship with A. BUT L was reconnecting with N, and I think emotionally, that's where his heart is at. And A noticed this, so she was upset (which honestly, is understandable imo- some of A's actions though because of these feelings she was having I definitely don't agree with). I think L was unsure though about going there again with N, and so he wanted to prove to A (and SPECIFICALLY to himself) that A was the one he wanted to be with. So he focuses his energies on A, agrees to the InStyle Stunt so she gets SOME kind of public acknowledgement (which was a BIG goal of hers in the relationship), and tries to distance some from N. That didn't reallyyyy work though, and then we got what we did for the rest of the tour between L/N.

Before I get to my thoughts on April between L/N, I want to list some specific timeline things around the InStyle Stunt:

L does the InStyle interview (in LA I believe?) near the end of March (so that's when L/A were in LA)

A posts the LA photos on her IG on April 7th and April 14th (and L likes these posts)- I believe she has since deleted another set of these LA photos, so idk what date she posted those photos (sometime in early April though I believe)

The InStyle article comes out on April 29th (with the accompanying Polaroid pics that prove A was in LA with him- this also confirmed that L had coordinated these photos with A to acknowledge (without publicly acknowledging) that he and A were an item)

L posts the non-polaroid photos from the InStyle article on his IG on April 29th (and N likes the post and comments (on April 29) "Yess dude!!")

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April/Early May Between L/N

L/N attend the Bridgerton Season 3 London Photocall on April 12 (which is where the photo above was taken AND where the infamous polaroid was taken). Earlier that day (I believe), L/N also did a series of interviews for the show, and those interviews had some SERIOUS flirty/sexual energy to them (including one of L's (not so subtle) butt pinches with N). I would highly recommend rewatching those interviews if you haven't. If anyone has the links to these particular interviews (N is wearing the same necklace, and L the same tank top and jacket that they are wearing in the picture above), please link them in the comments below.

L/N are at events in Bowral, Australia from April 21-23

L/N in Milan May 9 (with the interviews where they are disconnected and likely beefing)

L/N in Verona May 10 (and they are all cutesy with each other and seem back on the same page)

So here are my thoughts (and why the InStyle Stunt/article might have come into play as to why they had been beefing in Milan):

As I mentioned, I think L was TRYING to distance himself some from N in March and refocus his attention on A. However, I think that pull with N was still really strong, and BTS they were still having to see each other and communicate in order to prepare for their upcoming promotional events. My guess is that all this sexual/flirty tension was building up between them BTS in March, which is why they were soooo unhinged in those interviews before the London Photocall on April 12. I also think early April is when L was starting to realize that his feelings for N were coming back full force, and was maybeeee getting a little green light from N that the feelings were reciprocated (but they weren't actually addressing it because I think they were scared/nervous). However, I think they continue flirting with each other in April (maybe secretly through messaging, and also when they were in person).

Note: We also have to remember that L gave those polaroids to InStyle (most likely) at the end of March when he did the interview. Therefore, the InStyle Stunt was set in motion by that point. I've been wondering though recently, if he had known what was going to happen between him and N in April and early May, if he might not have gone along/set up the InStyle stunt 🤔 Just some thoughts I've been having...

Then we get to the Bowral events near the end of April (BEFORE the InStyle article comes out though, confirming L had coordinated this with A), and it seems pretty obvious to me that L is trying to test the water with N and see how she's feeling about them (they are both being a little publicly flirty, but L much more so imo (N still seems to have a lot of her walls up in public)). It makes sense L might be hesitant to open himself back up to N when, as I talked about here, I think he got his heart broken a little by N. However, I think N was starting to open herself up to the possibility of really trying with L (because I think she has ALSO loved him for a while, but just was never in the place to really commit to the relationship for various reasons). I think she was finally feeling though that she was ready to give this relationship a serious shot, but knew L was kind of in a relationship. I think N was under the impression though that it wasn't super serious, so I think she was hopeful she and L might be able to figure it out.

A lot of people have been commenting that the InStyle Stunt/article wouldn't have upset N because she would have already known about it because of the pictures A posted in early April. I disagree. Now, we obviously don't know 100% if N knew that L was going to add those polaroids to the article. Tbh, we also don't 100% know if she even knew about the pictures that A posted of the LA trip (because I don't get the sense N exerts a whole lot of energy and time following what A does). Yes, N commented and liked L's post on April 29 related to the InStyle article. However, that does not confirm that she had already read the article. And she wasn't going to unlike and remove her comment, because fans would have noticed and flipped out. I am more inclined to believe that she really wasn't aware that this was all going to go down, mainly because I think L didn't want N to know/was trying to be sneaky about it. I think once N figured it all out after the article came out, the thing she was most upset by was how this article proved L had coordinated with A to indirectly publicly announce that they were an item (while L was continually putting out to the press at that point that he was single). Therefore, I think N was pi**ed because she didn't want this to impact their tour/her (their) public image. And secondly, I think she was upset because of the feelings she was having for him, and how flirty he had been with her the last few months. I think it all caught N off gaurd, and her walls went WAY back up. And we have to remember that this all happened just a few days before the Milan event, so I think that energy between them just spilled over and resulted in their very disconnected nonverbal cues in Milan.

I talked a little bit more about my thoughts on Italy here, but I think after L/N got back on the same page emotionally, it was pretty much game over emotionally with A for L. His heart wasn't really in it anymore (and tbh, I don't think it ever really was). Also, I've said this multiple times, but Italy is when N starts posting the "boyfriend pics" of L (which L obviously agreed to). Personally, I think N (and indirectly L) were sending a message to a certain someone 🤔 But just a theory... I have also already talked about it here and here on my theories on why L was never going to be able to publicly untangle himself from A for a while, regardless of what was going on BTS with L/N.

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What Could be the Deeper Meaning Behind the Polaroid?

So, my point with everything is this. I think early April was a MAJOR turning point for N in terms of her feelings/emotions for L. Here are my thoughts (outside of PR) on why N put THAT Polaroid on her phone from the London Photcall event on April 12 (and for MONTHS):

First, we need to acknowledge that L obviously approved of this photo being on her phone (or at least was complicit to it), which I think speaks VOLUMES about where L was at emotionally with N at the time (and where L WASN'T at emotionally with A). This confirms to me that things just weren't that serious with A, even if he was TRYING to refocus his attention on A. L's heart was still with N.

N wanted people to know that they were a unit through this experience, and that N truly loves him and their friendship/connection. She wanted to share to the world how special he AND their experience on Bridgerton is to her.

I think she put that SPECIFIC picture on her phone because her feelings were STARTING to change for L around this event/that general time period. I think N was starting to see L in a bit of a new light (in a positive way), and was seeing some real potential between them.

Lastly, I think one of the reasons she kept the photo on her phone for so long (outside of the PR), is because her walls were starting to come down, things were getting more serious between her and L, and she was happy (and she wanted the public to know 😉). And L/N could kind of hide behind this unspoken public narrative that it was just for "PR" (which I NEVER bought).

Now yes, she has since changed the polaroid. However, we have NO idea what the photo is of now (or if she is consistently changing it out/or completely changed her phone case). She knows our obsession with the Polaroid though, so I think she likes to tease us about it. She knows what she is doing 😉 That OG polaroid though during the PR tour had a MUCH deeper meaning than just promoting the show, and was a significant public statement about her relationship with L. Just my theory though...

[doodler16]

Hi!

I'm working my way backwards through the critical tag + major fandom discourse events and especially through Viv's comments/endless word of god/public meltdowns and I had two questions

Is she addicted to correcting/avoiding further controversy? I saw that at one point she clarified Barbie's drug lacky in HB wasn't underage which is an insanely specific thing to speak out about even in the current overall fandom climate? So many things I keep reading have little "Word of God/said outside canon" tags on them like jesus

What are the major like "she needs to log off" moments? I know Poison being leaked was a big one, I wasn't even watching either show and I saw that first hand. I also remember the 2024 Vday merch wank but I don't think she commented on that.

Thanks in advance, I'll keep back reading too I'm just curious about specific things like how she mostly left Twitter after Posion leaks

1. Vivziepop, like most people is addicted to Twitter. Nothing wrong with her using Twitter as it’s the main social media platform that most people use to get their information, connect with fans, and update their followers, etc.

Yes, Vivziepop is addicted to correcting a lot on Twitter whether it’s Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss. For example, she clarified that Mimzy isn’t a Jewish stereotype but based loosely off a chicken.

Sometimes, it would be beyond that and she would info dump instead of putting the information into her show. For example: Vivziepop made a thread about Millie, how’s she more than Moxxie’s wife, and how there is more fun stuff coming for her, etc, etc, blah, blah. Or Vivziepop saying that Satan was lying on Twitter.

Vivziepop sucks at avoiding controversy, for the most part there is drama in both Hazbin and Helluva.

2. Vivziepop’s major log off moments (off the top my head):

- Angel Dust’s leaked mini poison sequence. On Instagram Threads and Twitter she was arguing with a bunch of SA victims.

- Limus situation where Vivziepop comments how uncomfortable she is with Limus’ actions

- “I am Caine, I am your bitch” (aka people making fun of Vivziepop shows; more specifically the swearing/(insert show if it was written by Vivziepop)

- Hazbin Hotel season 2 leaks ( One of the few times, I wished Vivziepop stopped using Twitter)

- Anything involving Valentino & Joel

- Vivziepop & Lackadaisy donating drama

- Scott Cawthon (I don’t know the full context but I do remember seeing images of it backfiring hard for Vivziepop)

I was going to add a few more but I assume you want ones that are super recognizable.

[ingydar-phan]

hiii I’ve been spoiler free but now I’ve just attended my show!!! Finally!! I remember you saying something about December?? I thought they would mention something about it in the show ?? But they didn’t at least in my show. Have they said anything about December in past shows?? Could you give me context pleaseeee

Yes yes some context!! Spoilers ahead, obviously

So there was a line in the show before October 19 about how it’s going to soon be 15 years of Dan and Phil. At the first show, or maybe one of the first shows, Phil said 15 years *in december*. In later shows he said in October, and in shows now he’s saying this year. People were freaking out because, per the vday vid, he said the winter is when he properly fell in love. People theorized about that being their anniversary, fueled by the fact that in introverts and this current show, they have off in early December, which is when they were together in person of 2009. Idrk my thoughts on this. Feel free to share additional thoughts and details in comments/reblogs.

[phannieconfession]

Dan and Phil are monogamous but HCing them as poly is not harmful. Posting nakedbooths in 2024 is cringe but not a crime. Watching the vday video is fine. Making jokes or posting about it is also fine. Wanting them to hard launch is normal. Demanding for latam/asia/africa shows is not delusional. We do not infantalize Phil, he does it by himself and it's funny and lighthearted. People are allowed to feel extreme feelings for dnp. Sister Daniel is not overrated, and Dan looks hot as fuck in the costume. Looking up where they spent their holiday is ok but posting about it openly is not. Dan is not mean to Phil, they clearly are adults who agree upon things beforehand. Theorizing about the phouse floorplan is not weird. Adding ph- to words is cute. It's healthy to block phannies if you don't like them. There should be MORE phan porn accounts. If you hate everything about the phandom/dnp you should leave because hate-watching is fine in other contexts but not here, this is a community. ok I think these are all my opinions on famous discourse topics so I don't need to confess anything else. byeee <3

i think you wrote that for yourself more than for anything else

[philsmeatylegss]

Hiii I just saw a post Abt the v day video and how it's fucked up and such and I was just wondering why? I found it a few years ago but it was just kinda cute tbh what's wrong with it? Lmao I'm definitely a newer phan, I only started really following their stuff in like 2017 so I don't know too much about early dnp lol

Oh fuck I’m old

I think it’s safe enough to finally talk publicly about it.

Basically the vday video was a video Phil made for Dan for Valentine’s Day. He uploaded it privately onto his YouTube channel which Dan had the password to so Dan could see it. At this time, Dan was on vacation (pretty sure in India) and he wouldn’t have been able to see a video of that quality just through text or email. Shitty luck, the same time he privately uploaded it, infamous YouTube glitch happened where all private videos became public. And one of the videos that went public was the v day video.

There’s a lot of jokes about Dan in 2012, but it’s actually really depressing. Dan wasn’t out yet and he had a fuck ton of trauma surrounding his sexuality. 2012 is when dnp started blowing up enough to where they became part of popular early YouTube so people saved the v day video when it was uploaded.

They’ve only addressed it a few times in which they said it was an April Fool’s prank, which obviously doesn’t make sense, but what were they supposed to say? According to legend, people would keep reuploading the video and Phil would spend hours taking them down one by one and it would say “AmazingPhil took down this video for copyrite.”

It was a catalyst to just a really shitty period for dnp. All aggressively heterosexual clips from Dan’s liveshows are my 2012. “FYI I like vagina” is 2012. People were contacting his 14 year old brother to ask about him and Phil. That alone is both fucked up to drag a kid into this, but remember that Dan still wasn’t out to his family. It was probably so fucking terrifying when his YouTube life, especially regarding his sexuality and relationship, clashed with his family life for the first time.

There’s a noticeable difference between their relationship in videos from 2009-2011 and 2012-2015. And it is most likely because dnp blew up pretty big in 2012 and started going from making YouTube videos for fun to doing it as a job with the added pressure of millions watching. And the catalyst, or at least metaphorical catalyst, from the switch between being openly touchy feely giggles to strict, five feet apart mates is considered to be the vday vid.

It was a big problem in the phandom since it was leaked to around 2017ish. A lot of people were circulating it and word was that they were still being taken down years later, implying that Phil was still searching for the video years later.

The phandom used to be primarily 12-16 year olds. And when you’re that age, speaking from experience, you don’t understand the complexities of the situation and just kinda thought “teeheehee phan is real XD.” When in reality, it was a very sensitive and serious thing that wasn’t meant to ever be seen by the public. It’s literally where the cherry lube and kissing at the Manchester Eye reference is from.

Rightfully so, the video became more and more taboo to mention and most people caught on that it was a shitty thing to upload or share it. It used to be really taboo and affectionately was often referred to as “the video that shall not be named.”

It honestly has a backstory that is so story-like that it seems unreal. So much had to happen for it to be leaked and the impact it had on them was so large it’s like a black hole in phandom history.

It’s possible not all of this is accurate, this is just the basic lore of it. So while I don’t think the internet police will drag you to prison for saying you watched the vday video, this is the context behind it. Do with it what you will.

Spending your entire preteen, teen, and now 20s as a phannie will fry your brain in unimaginable ways. I knew this off the top of my head😭

[pseudophan]

New phannie here again, I've actually seen a few girlfriend posts. They're so hilarious in their irony that I'm kind of obsessed with this genre of posts now, I need more, but they're hard to find.

I mostly search up random words or events I have no context for and search what fandom was talking about it through the years. Obv bahamas, timeline masterlist, all the apartment speculations, sims fanfiction, some info about some of their trips... I've accidently stumbled upon vday, quit after 30 seconds and still can't find courage to finish it. Also got into tumblr archive to search for fandom reactions on June 2019. That was fun.

I'm pretty sure I have a lot of things to learn yet but at this point I stopped stumbling upon references that make no sense to me, so I've decided I at least got the basics

Thanks for chatting) If you have random fun fandom moments, please give me a list) I obv have too much time and too much fun with this fandom)

the vday thing is so real that shit is absolutely horrifying. coming out reactions are fun but i went back to look at mine awhile ago and they're so lacking at least on the night of dan's video cause i was so overwhelmed by it all i stopped posting and got really drunk instead to COPE lmfao. god what a day though.. i spent that week just searching dnp's names on twitter looking at non-dnp fans' reactions cause they were absolutely sending me

older phannies i feel like we need to come up with a list of homework for the newbies. like dnp/phandom events/moments they gotta research

[alovelyburn]

Rambles About the Golden Age Arc Addendum: The Lost Chapter

This is what I was going to post two weeks ago but I ended up rushing the Hill of Swords for Vday instead. So here we go!

I meant to do this months ago, but I’m lazy—uh I mean I didn’t For Some Reason. But after reading about Miura’s thoughts on the Lost Chapter I decided look at it again and, well, the pages were out of order on all the sites. So I tried to track down the correct order and ended up reading about it and blah blah anyway whatever who cares here we go.

Rambles About the Golden Age Arc Addendum – The Lost Chapter

So for those who don’t know (not a lot of people, but hey there may be newbies), the Lost Chapter is the original Berserk Chapter 83, God of the Abyss Part II. It follows directly from the pages where Griffith’s soul or astral form or whatever departs the physical plane and goes forth to become Femto. So okay here’s some of the leadin for context:

Griffith’s spirit departs the physical plane by traveling through a water-like abyss (which is very reminiscent of what’s going on with Guts in the current chapters, I might note). This is actually especially interesting because later in the series Schierke remarks that the ocean supposedly leads to the astral plane - the actual ocean, that is. This one I assume is more of a metaphorical/spiritual ocean.

Anyway, there, he is confronted by the reality of the Sacrifice he chose, and is shocked at the horror of it. This is kind of a sidenote but there is some question as to exactly what he thought would happen when he took that deal, because he doesn’t appear to have known it would be that.

He’s also surprised that he doesn’t feel anything about it. At this point, as Griffith’s last tear falls, an off-panel voice chimes in to explain his lack of emotional response....

“When suffering so profound as to make someone rip himself apart is confronted, a heart is frozen.”

I think I said this way back in Golden Age Rambles 16, but this is one of my favorite (and imo one of the most important) lines as far as Griffith’s character is concerned. Because it suggests that his emotional suppression is at least in part a trauma response - it also confirms that this emotional deadening, which is a result of the trauma response/his confrontation of his suffering, is the reason he doesn’t feel anything - as opposed to it being, for example, because he’s a sociopath. Sigh.

We are given an explanation for the existence of behelits, which Miura later clarified in interviews as being solidified souls whose faces are skewed due to their fragmentation and lack of ... being a person as yet. Love that for them.

Finally, Griiffith encounters...

A pile of flesh that he refers to as God.

And that’s where we transition into the Lost Chapter.

So originally the chapter I am about to discuss was the chapter after this, but when the chapters were collected, Miura had it removed. There’s been some discussion as to why that was, but officially his explanation was that it gave away too much too early and that something as extreme as an on-panel appearance by God should be saved for the end of the series.  He also said that he didn’t like to nail down the limits of the world and wanted to keep things flexible in case he needed to change something.

From there, a lot of discussion has been had about whether the story “counts” or not. My position is basically that it’s fairly safe to assume that this or something like this happened during Griffith’s ascension, because it seems like the main reason he didn’t include it was more because it was too revealing than because he changed his mind. And while he did want to have the option of changing his mind, ultimately nothing he did ever contradicted it, and there were references and minor cameos that seem to confirm it.

So I personally consider it to be pseudo-canon, like broadstrokes canon, but with the understanding that details may be inaccurate. Nonetheless, I also consider it an extremely interesting and informative chapter when one wants to try and unlock the secrets of what the series is trying to say.

So here we go. I’m putting the entire chapter up. The pages are presented in their correct order – most websites post some of the pages out of sequence. It doesn’t really make a huge difference to the meaning, but it does change the flow a little bit. The order that follows is confirmed based on raw scans.

Okay so this is pretty basic – Griffith recognizes this as probably God, and its confirmed. One nitpick I do have is um, literally the NAME “Idea of Evil.”

Normal disclaimers apply - I’m not fluent, correct me if wrong, etc etc I proceed in good faith.

So this is a little weird because it’s another case of the Kanji saying one thing and the furigana saying something else. The name is given as 魔の源形  - something like “the form of the source of malevolence.”  with furigana over 源形 being the katakana for “idea.” So what it’s actually saying is Ma no Idea - fairly translated as Idea of Evil, but what it means is that it is the physical form of the source of malevolence/evil/etc.

...I mean it basically means the same thing, but I think for me when I see 魔の源形 I think of something like the Endless from the Sandman, which follows from some of the later dialogue, because as much as people assume that having “ma” in its name means it is, itself, malevolent it’s more like the spinner of malevolence, which brings me back to the Sandman, because while Dream embodies dreams, he isn’t, himself, a dream. He’s the thing that makes dreams, see what I mean? Well I’ll probably get more into it later.

In the meantime, Idea of Evil is fine but it does seem to be a descriptor rather than a name, and I do find the longer and more awkward translation a bit more useful in understanding what this deity is.

Moving on!

It’s saying “that” is God not “this” is god which I guess sounds nitpicky but for me if it says “this” it’s more up close - I’m the idea of evil, i am god! vibes. Whereas “that,” to me, feels more of a neutral, “the source of evil is god/" kind of vibe.

It’s kind of like the flame/making mistake thing I went on about with Guts before, like it doesn’t change the fact that he’s talking about Casca, but it changes what the fact that he’s talking about Casca means.

One of the interesting things from the twitter festival of Miura quotes was this thing about how the faces that overrun the landscape during the eclipse represent that this is the collective will of humanity. And I’m bringing this up because its the same faces that are visible in the ocean of souls. Its also a similar face to what comes out when the behelit rights itself. So that all tracks.

The most important thing here, though, is this concept of the common consciousness beyond individuality - humanity’s collective consciousness or, as Griffith eventually says, “where they will become one.”

It’s this collective will that is really the most powerful force in Berserk - even IoE serves this will, and it is this will that seemingly reshapes and controls the nature of reality - like splitting the astral from the physical worlds when humans lost their faith in supernatural things.

So I talked about this before, but one thing that I notice people tripping over a lot with the whole “Griffith is the desired savior” thing is that people have a hard time I guess divorcing themselves from assumptions that are rooted in the real world, whereas Miura specifically and explicitly rejected those assumptions within the framework of Berserk’s world.

What I mean is, when people see Griffith – who is a demon with some nasty crimes to his name – presented as humanity’s chosen savior they assume this must be a farce, right? Because how could someone like that be humanity’s chosen one, it must be a big act and hes actually just the fake savior and someone else is the real savior.

The problem with this is that Humanity’s will within Berserk is extremely ambiguous of intent right, like it’ll get into this later, but the great desire of humanity was not to be protected or saved from harm, it was to have reasons for the harm they experience and thus their will gave birth to a God who did not stop their suffering but rather provided a purpose behind their suffering. Similarly when Griffith restores the world to the shape desired by humanity, that world is exponentially more dangerous than the world before his return.

But this isn’t really presented as being awful as such – it’s just the nature of humanity to have dark feelings and to experience and inflict suffering. That doesn’t mean it’s all they do, but it’s a strain that runs through mankind and that duality is what gives rise to someone like Griffith, who encompasses both sides of the species.

Also another reason to bear in mind that IoE isn’t a name - it just makes Griffith’s question make more sense - “why did humans give birth to this will called God” is appropriate because it is the embodiment of the concept of a kind of intent.

Which also creates the ambiguity of “hell.” I keep going back to the archangel/demon lord thing with the Godhand, because it’s not just lipservice, it’s a genuine part of the worldbuilding of Berserk. Griffith looks down at the will of man and says it looks like Hell – he’s shocked that humanity’s will could be so cruel, but at the same time he recognizes that same cruelty inside himself, as well.

And God responds with, some people call it Hell, but it’s just part of the larger whole, and it’s a place that reflects human nature.

As I’ve said before, when Griffith says he feels that evil inside himself, it isn’t Miura telling us he’s a sadistic psychopath who was evil all along, it’s Miura telling us that every human contains the capacity for evil, including Griffith (because he’s human).

I feel like a lot of (western, again) fandom struggles with this stuff (and by struggles I mean doesn’t notice) because we’re so used to... “human” being synonymous with good but you kind of have to shed that to ‘get’ Berserk.

And again, it is IoE that serves the will of man, not the other way around. Or controls destiny to create what humanity desires.

And here’s where I’m going to talk about the Sandman, haha.

I kind of struggled with how to conceptualize the Idea of Evil, because this is a deity born to dispense pain and cruelty, but it does not, itself, appear to be particularly malevolent. It’s just kind of doing its job.

And that’s when I started thinking about the Endless.

This rundown might not be as necessary as it once would have been due tot he Netflix show, but suffice to say Sandman is about Dream, who is the  anthropomorphic personification of dreams, but also the king of dreams, and one of a family of anthropomorphic personifications that each embody, control, and dispense a certain thing. Destiny, Death, Despair, Desire, Delirium, and [omitted for spoilers].

Anyway the thing is, the Endless embody a concept, but they are also created by the need for that concept. As the lore goes, Destiny is the oldest because he is integral to the existence of life. Death came next, because all living things die. Dream was born to give form to dreams. But the thing is, even though they control and create those things, they are not, themselves, those things. Death isn’t dead, she’s the person who collects souls. Dream isn’t a dream, he’s the one who makes dreams. But most significantly, and this is why it sticks in my head as hard as it does, if one of them dies, another incarnation of the same concept appears, because the job of being and dispensing that thing has to be done.

Now, I’m not saying IoE will die, I have no idea, and I’m not saying that if someone stabbed it, another heart or a brain or something would turn up - I’m not even sure IoE can die since it states that the world itself is its body but the point is, cruelty and pain and suffering, those things all existed before IoE did, and in fact it was the existence of those things in a chaotic and pointless state that created IoE to begin with. It came into existence to create meaning and order to what already existed, and to give it a reason for existing.

“It was established that you would be here since a distant past. By influencing the lower levels of human consciousness and merging blood with blood I created the lineage that would give birth to the man you are. To pave the way for the times you would be born in, I manipulated history. and created an appropriate context for you. All the encounters you have had so far were all a part of the destiny that led you here as well.”

Now, going into the Griffith specific stuff. This is has always fascinated me because if you think about it, basically IoE is saying that everything in Berserk to date (and presumably everything that follows) is arranged to create the circumstances under which the specific person that Griffith has been designed to be will make the choice that brings him here.

One of the things I learned in psychology yars and yars ago is about this concept of psychological free will vs. like I guess religious or spiritual free will? Because ok there are multiple was to conceptualize what it means to have free will, right? We have the more standard version: are our lives planned out for is in advance by an outside force (typically a deity), or are we free to do whatever we wish to do? Free will vs. Predestination.

Is there such a thing as being destined to die tomorrow or does whether you die tomorrow or not rest entirely on what you choose to do? And if there is such a thing as being destined to die tomorrow, are there ways to prevent that from happening or is trying to fight it just hubris in the face of powers beyond your comprehension?

But there’s also the psychological concept of free will: given the interaction of your personality and your experiences and your capabilities and this Thing that Happened, is there really more than one thing that you could do, or is it inevitable that you will make the choice that you made because its who you are?

If Person A is rushing to work and comes across someone having a medical emergency on the sidewalk,  is their decision about what to do (stop, ignore it, call 911 and keep going, etc) determined wholly by the kind of person they are, or can they just do whatever? And more to the point, even though there is nothing stopping them from doing any of those things, are they themselves, being who they are, able to do anything other than the thing they end up doing?

Berserk is interesting because its take on fate is something like a combination - the end is set by IoE, but the way you get to that point is by IoE setting up your life in order to shape you into being a person who would make the choices necessary to arrive at that point. Unlike traditional predestination - that greek tragedy stuff - there’s your destiny and fighting it is hubris, because that fate comes for you rather than you necessarily arriving at it - the only thing that makes an endpoint inevitable is how perfectly maneuvered people are so that when you arrive at every crossroad, even if you theoretically could go left or right, because of who you are, there’s really no way you would go anywhere except the way IoE wants you to go.

This is why I often say Griffith was designed to be strong but also designed to shatter when hit in the right spots. He has to be strong to get to where he went, but he also needs to be fragile so that when the time comes, IoE can put the right things in his path to push his specific buttons and get him to do what he has to do. This is one reason I struggle with the idea of blaming Griffith - on one hand there’s the argument that individuals have to take responsibility for their actions regardless of why they’re undertaken. But at the same time, I can’t help thinking... there’s no person in existence who wouldn’t break if they literally had God arranging the entire world into the specific configuration needed to break them.

More than that, though! If you think further into it, it also means Guts was designed to be someone who Griffith would desperately love and then be abandoned by.  And that means Guts’ life was designed to create a person with all these insecurities and strengths and weaknesses that makes him the person he is. It’s all very interesting to me, these questions of free will and predestination.

It does, however, lead me to wondering about the edict he gives Griffith at the end of this chapter.

More on that in a minute!

(boy do I hope that was all coherent)

So, here’s the thing that explicitly curbstomps the idea that Griffith was specifically sent with the rule that he must destroy things and ruin humanity. I mean break it down, right – IoE is a servant of the will of humanity, ergo its desires are humanity’s desires. Griffith, being human, therefore is a part of IoE just as IoE is a part of him, and thus his desires are also IoE’s desires...

お前の行い自体が種としての人間に相応しものになるだろうたとえそれが人々の苦しみてあっても救いであっても。

So that’s the original Japanese line.

Which, as far as I can tell (and anyone better with Japanese than I am please do feel free to correct me, and I’ll fix it) means something like:

“Your actions in themselves will be appropriate to humanity as a species even if it means hardship/pain or rescue/salvation for humanity.”

As a pretty interesting sidenote, the word used for salvation, 救い, specifically references religious salvation. So there you go. Antimessiah/Messiah.

In any case it does put the lie to the idea that Griffith was given the instructions to destroy things or ruin things or make people miserable, like his instructions are literally just “do whatever, and whatever happens will be appropriate.” That said, remember “Your desire is my desire as well.”

I really think Griffith is at his prettiest during this chapter despite being half-formed for most of it. But anyway.

Ever think about what this encounter must mean to him? Half of Griffith’s motivation is the desire to see what he’s capable of and where destiny will lead him.

So okay now we get back to psychological free will. Because obviously Griffith wasn’t sent with the instructions to do a specific thing, just to do whatever he likes with the assurance that whatever he wants is also what IoE wants by the nature of Griffith’s own humanity.

But okay, that does raise the question of whether GRIFFITH has free will (in the psychological sense), right like... at the end of the Eclipse, the other Godhand seem to indicate that they already know how this will turn out – Griffith will bring an age of darkness on the world, at least for a while. Similarly, before he’s even incarnated, Slan is sending priests visions that say he’s going to unite all of humanity into one nation.

So like, inasmuch as the IoE is part of humanity’s will and vice versa, it seems like it knew where this was going even as it told Griffith to do whatever. And this may be difficult and abstract to convey and I hope I can phrase it properly, but what it says to me is something like... Griffith acts freely on his desires, but his desires are in line with IoE’s desires (which are in line with humanity’s desires) specifically because he was designed to be a person who would have those desires. As such he does what he wants, but what he wants to do will inevitably result in ending up where IoE is trying to get, whether he is or is not specifically choosing to try to create that effect... because the outcome of our actions isn’t always what we intended.

And this isn’t me trying to let Griffith off the hook for the age of darkness - I’m not even convinced the age of darkness is a bad thing in the long term. I’m more saying that regardless of what his intentions are, the outcome of his actions will inevitably be in accordance with the destiny woven by IoE and desired by mankind’s collective will... regardless of whether or not that outcome is what he was aiming for.

Sidenote: Griffith chooses his own form, which makes me wonder what was going on with Ubik.

And then he heads into the world at large.The swirling of the ocean of souls echoes his reincarnation at the end of Conviction.

And the end.

Okay so like, what I get from this is basically... Griffith was created to be the person needed to fill the role he’s filling, and God designed the world around creating him (and presumably did the same to create say Void or Slan). Whatever his intentions are, the actions he takes and their outcomes will ultimately align with humanity’s desire, which is also IoE’s desire.  

This is kind of what I mean when, for example, someone suggests that Femto raped Casca in order to create the demon baby that would ultimately become his vessel and I say... I don’t think that’s why FEMTO did it, but it may well be why it was done.

But what really strikes me about this chapter is how it sets the stage for ... the stage that is the Berserk world. What I mean is, and I’ve talked about this before, the way the Godhand behave and especially the way NeoGriffith behaves, is very performative right like they want an outcome and they move things around like pieces on a chessboard and then they do the things needed to nudge humanity in the “right” direction which is something I’m sure to talk about a lot once I get farther into Millennium Falcon. Which isn’t unusual in itself, but because of who and what they are, they can move massive pieces, like... plague outbreaks or the merging of the astral and physical worlds. The Godhand’s manipulation of human history is epic, but then of course their creator goes a step beyond and manipulates centuries or millennia in advance and on a much larger scale. But in the end it’s all the same thing it’s just a matter of degree, and...

It kind of makes sense that Griffith is one of them, because that’s really what he was doing on a human scale even when he was human.

Anyway, that’s it, back to Millennium Falcon next, thank you for listening.

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Nancy, you once made the comment that the two are running parallel games in regards to this whole CE and AB situation and I just can’t stop thinking of that comment. Especially with the info Maddy just dropped. Its so true like literally that are running to very different games here.

So, I honestly can't remember what context I made that comment in. Or when, lol. There's just been too many posts on this blog in the last few months.

Yesterday with Alba's IG reactivation, a friend and I got to talking about how toxic the last few months' posts have looked. And they're all his posts, remember, so that's even more pointed. I can't escape the undercurrent in those videos posted on V Day. Even the still photos chosen for that post start looking bizarre and have an undercurrent - tensed muscles, tense smiles, weird non-touching. (Although it's easier to look at those and see them as more normal.)

But what we really started talking and thinking about was the weirdness around the tweet posts of Jan. 11th. Remember? Alba made a tweet about loving her fans or seeing her fans, or some asinine shit, and then it looked like her team paid for "we love you alba" to trend. Hella weird and hella orchestrated looking.

And then he came in and stomped all over it with his out of left field tweet post about imposter accounts. Didn't acknowledge her posts in any way, didn't post anything remotely related to her - but his act of posting swamped out her little trend completely. How petty and pointed did that look? How hateful did that look? How toxic does that look, especially when combined with his choices of those videos to post about a month later?

(Note: Also, remember how that second video in the VDay post had an edit date of Jan. 21st. That means he would have to have been making choices about what videos to use back in January. So... combine these things.)

Whatever is going on here, no one is on the same page.

[lilyweii]

a look into aladdin and hamelin bond

It is a look at the connection of Aladdin and Hamelin. My English is sloppy. So I had a guidance to help me write it.It is possible, in the future, I can update it. Hopefully. So sorry,this is not in the best english,so i hope you can enjoy it regardless. while i like the pairing,it is more or less to take a look at their friendship. it is on the viewer to read at this point. Sorry for my mumbling because i typed alot. credit to sinoalice database people, jyong and @bad-blood-animal Thank you for your work (pls tell me to remove the tag if needed)

Back round for Aladdin: Nice guy. He says, "money can buy and fix everything. No need to fight. I have a ton of wealth. Even a new princess, family, it can be bought with money (Act of Hatred and class story= remember for later). He was a poor boy who cheated to survive the streets. Tend to have laid back attitude. Aladdin spends his infinite wealth to show his love. But the fading memory of his dead princess haunts him. In Act of Elimination hard mode, I realize my true love for her, and accept she is gone. Note: Aladdin my favorite.

Back round for Hamelin: More difficult guy. He presents himself as cold and detachment. "I want what's beautiful for myself. For a more beautiful world. Only beautiful around me". I travel to play my pipe for money, with no home. I was cheated by the mayor. So I took my revenge. I show in several events I do not like wealthy people and capitlism (vday and other event). I want specific beautiful points from people for myself (remember for later) Every once in awhile, I present my true self in acts of maturity and kindess.

No evidence suggest the alters of these characters know each other. In fact, it seems even their deaths were very far apart. But both alters understand the pain of blaming themselves and their short comings of losing their important one (Was it my fault the piano student died? or if I made money, sis could be here still). But, their alters do not know each other, so there is no point here.

Also note: Aladdin says mainly in magic school event (characters can remember event in main story and switch) that the gender of his partner does not matter so much if they are happy. I think he might have a female preference overall, however Hamelin has been attracted to men and women. I do not believe these characters have a defined orientation. Even Rapunzel herself wants to make friends with women but fear, and fallen for rrh (zombie staff weapon) and recently even cinderella (act of sinoalice). Hamelin also have openly had men fall for him (paladin story,furisode police battle)

Butler event: We first met each other here. Seeing Hamelin distracted by a sound, I got curious. Here I get frustrated. Could you please help me?" or "Why did you not tell us sooner it was a scream?" Hamelin, "These people don't understand beauty at all." It was a rough start for first impressions. Aladdin is kind. Pinocchio tells Hamelin is too strange a guy. Aladdin defends it anyway, and says that everyone here is sort of strange. It seems, the two of each other do not understand each other at all. But in time, it will become a beautiful friendship strengthened by understanding. It is nice,because you see the growth in each other together over time.

(Note: In same event, the game was feautred in a Boy's Love magazine and had out of context Pixiv ads, and we got very strange stamps released together. Although it is not in the same scene, and won't count for anything here. But it seems, even Pokelabo was wanting it to sell… ) In same event, Aladdin insist to go hunting with Hamelin, who seems more annoyed by Aladdin than anything. Hamelin calls him, golden nueasance (GL: richie rich) and says he doesn't need help from others (remember for later) Aladdin decided to tell Hamelin what he thinks is going on. I ask Hamelin, "Do you want to kill that girl?" Hamelin reacts in pure shock at the assumption. It seems they work well together. They grin at each other and take off. They lose focus and track of the time competing with each other. Because of what Aladdin says, I think deep down they had fun. I think this is where they started opening up to each other and understanding.

No more meaningful interactions in this event. This event became busy trying to protect the girl.

It does not count for anything but the collab character Hinaka is rotten. And this is mentioned in the hammer story. Well, it's funny. Me and my friend just wanted to point it out and laugh.

It seems Ibarahime informs Kaguya Aladdin warned her of business talk and Hamelin is picky. Maybe they spent some time off screen? Well, who knows. In 2021 tanning event, Aladdin is checking himself out in the mirror, and understands why Hamelin is so fascinated with himself. These two are slowly opening and understanding. It's starting to feel like we became friends.

In Black Butler side story, Hamelin speaks fondly of Aladdin and Snow White. It seems like Hamelin and Snow White are not very friends though (shark and the winery model side story), but it shown many time at this point Hamelin is coming around to Aladdin. (cute Hamelin who is scared of Seb) Lost my phone I had during this time weeeeh, so no screenshot for this part.

In Summerfes event, Pinocchio is scared of the main course, and Dorothy points out to Aladdin the flaws in Hamelin's operations. Aladdin thinks Hamelin could be a good business partner. Aladdin hears it is Hamelin doing the DJing, and wants VIP seats right away. I believe in him, even if others around me do not. What a beautiful friendship, despite not understanding and trusting the other at first!

VR event: We are always together in this event. Despite Hamelin's beliefs about money, I help Aladdin with his N** project. I help make a beautiful photo and me, Aladdin and Dorothy do a photoshoot and have fun. Later, we go our own way from the girls and go to an endless art musuem. We talk for hours about everything including art and money and get lost. "Let's explore it all anyway!" A passerby sees the two having fun. "Go to the metaverse main event together!"

In weapon story, Hamelin sees the art is ugly AI generated artworks and looks down on it. Was he just having fun anyway?

The two are very much best friends by this point, and the atmosphere between them changes drastically. By the way, Aladdin is wearing Hamelin's color on his costume…it is not a color he wears, ever. It seems the two share matching accessories here,like violet ties to their costume. it is likely a reach. but what a cute detail! it was an event that mirrors many moments in their first halloween event together. it shows the process the two made with each other.

Act of sinoalice: it is so much material. to think this could be a main story between the two! were they building a friendship for this act? i do not know,but the friendship between them continues to build. we came to this world two years earlier than everyone else (there is currently not an explanation…. ) in this time we lived together. we smiled constantly at each other,and we agreed with each other despite our conflicting opinions right away. we became aids to the prime minister who dies. why did they think making him a zombie was a good idea?!!! they are so opposite,but bring the better out in each other. Aladdin: "For people as capable as us…" "Hamelin's magical flute is truly amazing!" "Hamelin really is dependable after all" "Oh goodness, it looks like I've picked up Hamelin's catchphrase." "Having such a capable partner is really invaluable!" Just some quotes.

chapter two. every verse has a compliment about each other. hamelin says aladdin is a beautiful partner. aladdin says his partner is invaluable. We call each other partners! They see each other as capable, trusting and equals, among other things. Aladdin reassures a confused Hamelin at the Pokelabo office. Both picked up on each others' speech and mannerisms

Hamelin: "Impressive, Aladdin." "Oops, it looks as though I've adopted the way Aladdin speaks." "Ahh… this has been all so enjoyable. Truly, having such a beautiful partner is something to be treasured." "But, I really am amazed by his sense of leadership." "Truly, having such a beautiful partner is something to be treasured." More quotes that were said.

Ch 3; we met up with Dorothy and Piggies. We became game producers. Everyone at our office seems to love us,and even pick up on how close we are with fantasizing and pointing it out. Hamelin compliments Aladdin yet again, saying he's impressive. His tone here is very soft. Very cute.

ch 4; Aladdin and Hamelin make a plan to save the world. the two live together in an abandoned apartment now. We had a small disagreement in wave conversation. But remain respectful and see through the other. Both of them point out everything they achieved in this world, they did together, and decide they will save the world together. We want to be partners to the end. "Both believed in the capabilities of their partner with their whole heart… " Both make good ideas and say "As I expected of you…" and both say they are both exceptionally talented perfectly in harmony.

We set our scheme in motion. Hamelin: Aah, it's nice to be able to talk to you so quickly, Aladdin. You're so efficient and beautiful. I'm so glad you came here with me. Aladdin: I'm glad I came here with you too, Hameln. The relationship I have built with you is something money can't buy!

Hamelin does not point out what he sees beautiful on Aladdin specifically,which is unusual. Does he just believe Aladdin is beautiful as a person? Aladdin who says money can solve and buy anything. Wow. He sees his bond with Hamelin differently.

Sadly the plans do not work out. They are looking over a devastated Tokyo on Christmas Eve. It is pointed out by alot of the fandom,but Christmas Eve is our romantic holiday. The set up feels very close connected. Because the two got exposed to desire working with Pokelabo, they succumb to turning to nightmares eventually, but seemed to fight it off longer than most. During this time they hold each other by the shoulders and pat each other to acknowledge their efforts comforting.

But sadly we were holding onto each other, so we lost our minds and did not realize it as we turn to nightmares. We wind up turning and accidentally kill each other by stabbing laying in the snow together. We did not realize what had happened, probably. Christmas's first snow falls on their bodies, creating a more beautiful and tragic and personal atmosphere.

Poor Aladdin and Hamelin. I hope the story can give them both a conclusion and they can continue to rule the world together. they are very important to each other. it is set in the official writing. I wonder how this arc will conclude? The end…. for now.

[diodellet]

So many good options for the art appreciation asks but let's go with 3, 4, 13, 14 and 27.

hi hi ner! thanks forda qs!! these are all prettie incharestinge!! (<-girlie who didn't know she'd be Yapping-Yapping)

3. and 4.) Go to [fandom] tag and reblog some art you like that has under 100 notes ++ Go to the art tag (or similar) and reblog some art you like that has under 100 notes

noted, i will undertake this mission with great care 🫡🫡

13. What are your go-to Ao3 filters?

ok i have a confession, i used to be a sort by word count++completed works only++exclude crossovers-kinda person 🤧🤧ANYWAY that was changed, now i only really exclude chat fics (ahaha,,,,theyre not really my go-to genre, like sure they're amusing but i read a really good one once* and it ruined every other chatfic for me)

*this one's for u haikyuu-natics, esp team captain stannies

hm.... i'm not super-duper picky so most of the time i can just scroll through each work's summary and tags.

but if a fandom is popular (or if i dont have the spoons for sifting through works), i stick to just reader inserts HAHAHA, maybe oc x canon if there haven't been any new x reader fics and if there's rlly nothing oough ig i have to write her myself 😭😭 sometimes doe, the curiosity strikes and i'll try looking if there are any fanfics in filipino... i really find it interesting to see how a chara's dialogue reads if theyre speaking in tagalog (tbh i think one would have more luck finding filo socmed aus on twt? but i only know about haikyuu socmed aus)

14. Best fanfic tropes ever?

oH...there are too many... u can't make me choose the best out of all my faves that's unfair 🥺jk lol

i read* this jamikali fic (i like my ships with a bit [read: a LOT] of tragedy/disaster-ness to them. it's so so so compelling to read!) and i just love the "Dubiously Unrequited Love" tag. bcs yes, the feelings are technically mutual, but there is a whole slew of other factors keeping the relationship from being a thing, which it could be a thing, but there's also that awareness that it won't last, sometimes a couple doesn't have to be endgame for the love to mean something, ykw?

this entire oneshot series....has me in a chokehold... my introduction to "Non-Sexual Intimacy" (and "Non-Sexual Nudity" i guess?) like??? holy shit??? the tension?? the way op just encapsulates the poignancy of being in such a vulnerable position without teetering too much into the cliche of roëmænce it has me On My Knees!! (like i love my smut and romance cliches, but some days i jus want a liiiitle bit more spice and variety)

Shoutout to the "Unreliable Narrator"++"Ambiguous Ending" combi that reaaaaally makes you work for understanding the plot, idk how to word it but being able to leave Just Enough Breadcrumbs and having enough trust in your readers to Get what ur implying, also forcing me to reread the fic immediately is so foul (in a good way). like there's an enjoyment in a good satisfying read, and then there's the Itch of never being sure in your interpretation, the feeling that u just need to go over it another time, spot another detail u missed, get wrecked all over again, rinse and repeat. idk i love fic.

27. If someone wanted to make you a creative gift, what's the thing that would make you the happiest?

oh anything featuring my fave charas is sure to make me happy! i mean i'm just not super picky abt gifts. well, maybe a creative gift has to be smth that can last a long while? (a strong hoard-ability kaya idk im senti??)

as long as the thought and intent was there, i'm already happy enough🥰💕💕 but i guess in the context of getting fic gifted to you, probably what matters most to me is that the writer enjoyed the process of making it as well. (i'm kinda drawing off of my experience writing this fic for one of m'oomfies and the vdays drabbles*** so i could be just rambling who knows?**)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)