#content warning for Jin Guangshan

[thatswhatsushesaid]

do you have any jgy fic recs? i trust your opinion on the matter lmaoo

i do indeed! i've probably rec'd a few of these before in the past, but i am always glad to rope more people into reading my faves. (i'll also try to rec some other stuff so i'm not just parroting the same recs over and over again lol)

also the vast majority of this is going to be xiyao-flavoured, but there's a peppering of suyao in here, too.

the it's worth it every time series by roquen (aka @fincalinde here on tumblr), which includes my favourite xiyao fix-it fic, the weakness of falling in love. the series revolves around the premise of what would happen if jin guangshan denied jin guangyao permission to marry qin su, meaning that jgy and lxc can now fuck without guilt--and, probably more importantly, what that added emotional intimacy and access to jgy's circumstances reveals to lxc. i love this series because it hews extremely close to canon, which is just the type of fic i personally prefer reading.

abstinence, denial by @ilgaksu, a xiyao vestal virgins AU with a predictably sad ending. still very crunchy.

a painting missing strokes, a song missing notes by occasional_boy_reporter, a post-canon xiyao fix-it following the cql canon. it's unfinished 🥲 but the cliffhanger of the last chapter is still emotionally satisfying imo, and there is SO much good and crunchy su minshan (and decidedly one-sided suyao) content. good good food.

the after series by welcome_equivocator, including the fic remains, a cql-canon xiyao AU in which lan xichen runs back into the guanyin temple as it is collapsing to die with jin guangyao.

imago also by welcome_equivocator, a VERY unsettling xiyao body horror fic that will make your skin crawl, but hopefully in a fun way.

sainted, untainted by @gloriousmonsters, a suyao-flavoured exploration of trust through badly negotiated kink, but everyone is fully consenting to what is going on ftr.

please mind the tags/warnings!

[quotablefanfiction]

Wei Wuxian scoffs, “Kids these days can’t handle a little dismemberment.” Lan Wangji frowns at him, “No one likes dismemberment, Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian shrugs, “Well, presumably not, but you kind of get used to it.”

the juniors are a bit squeamish (chp. 24)

A Bell That Tells Us to Rise and Fight by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (AO3) Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed – Teen – Lan Zhan/Wei Ying, Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing, Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan #Alternate Universe #Canon Divergence #Arranged Marriage #Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies #Everyone Needs A Hug #Not Beta Read #Women Being Awesome #Wen Qing is a goddess #Wangxian are still dumb #cute but dumb #content warning for Jin Guangshan #content warning for Xue Yang #content warning for Meng Yao #Wei Wuxian’s terrible awful brilliant plans #Yunmeng Bros #Yanli is an angel #BAMF Women #I take it back Nie Mingjue still dies #Minor Character Death

“Aunt?” Wei Wuxian asks, looking at Wen Qing. “Who else do you think could handle being married to Jiang Cheng?” she says, tone deliberately casual. It’s very satisfying when his jaw drops and he goggles like a fish. “What did you people do while I was gone?” he shrieks.

Wei Wuxian evacuates the Burial Mounds before they fall. Jin Zixun attacks before Jin Ling's birth. Yanli and Jin Zixuan survive and Jiang Cheng marries Wen Qing to protect the Wen Remnants. Thirteen years later Wei Wuxian returns from the dead to a very different world.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hi, I'm looking for two fics:

A) In this fic wen ruohan will send all the sect heirs into the burial mount. Some sect heirs died and others learned demonic cultivation and came out. Jiang sect send wei wuxian to the burial mount instead of jiang cheng.

B) This is a time travel story where wei wuxian and lan wangji time travelled to the past after attack on cloud recess. Some mysterious cultivators attacked gusu lan and they wore green dress. Name of the clan is Shen I guess. @purpleorchidzz

1B)

FOUND? If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 82k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS,  Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending,  Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels)

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2. I'm looking for a fic where LQR thinks wwx actually is LSZ's parent and asks for more grandchildren. The lan clan also thinks this is true. A little girl Lwj/wwx adopt is confused with their actual kid. Wwx gets letters calling him yiling matriarch. @napping-tiger

FOUND? The Grandmaster of Demonic Reproduction by likeafox (E, 7k, wangxian, kid fic, pregnancy kink, smut)

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3. Hi! I hope you all having a great day! I’m looking for 3 fics. Please help me. Thank you very much.

A) I only remember a scene where WWX had a talisma which can trace who are blood-related in the family. I remember wwx used the talisma to Jin zixuan which pointed who are his parent, his siblings. I remember the Sect leader Qin wants to kill Jin Guangshan because it pointed that his daughter is actually Jin’s. This is a time travel fic i think

B) Lan qiren and the elders want lan zhan to marry a girl even though they knew that lwj is married to wwx. Lwj forced to spends time to the girl. Because of insecurities wwx left lwj and isolated himself. Then I remember Lwj rejects the girl who wants to marry him, announcing that he’s married to wwx, and removing himself as the chief cultivator in a conference. After that he left his sect and went looking for wwx.

C) I hope you can help me with this one. Lan xichen can hear the Jiang wanyin clarity bell ringing. He eventually learn that the clarity bell rings differently according to the emotions of Jiang wanyin. Thank you very much

3A)

FOUND! And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

NOT FOUND! I think it is chapter 57 of Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters.)

hey! for the most recent fic finder, i know 3a was already found, but something very similar also happens in chapter 6 of all things belong by kuroi_atropos in case the requestor is interested

3B)

FOUND! What Comes After Love  by Rainbow_Horizon (T, 17k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, POV WWX, Sad WWX, Jealous WWX, Módào Zǔshī & The Untamed Combination, Post-Canon, Insecurity, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Break Up,   Separations, Healing, Husbands, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established   Relationship, marriage issues, Marriage Proposal)  

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4. Tried asking, but I can’t get your ask box to load even though it doesn’t say it’s closed. I’m looking for a fic where Jiang Cheng of the future sends a very comprehensive letter back to Yu Ziyuan begging her to change the future. She goes to see Jiang Cheng at Gusu, and arrives as they’re dealing with the Waterborne Abyss. Niè Huaisang sent a fan back to his younger self, painted in his private code that says, “I was painted by Sect Leader Niè,” and calling himself a coward. Jin Zixuan ends up forming a study group with Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Niè Huaisang on how to use fans as cultivation weapons. The Lan are spending a great deal of time copying Absolutely Everything in the library. @any-mouse​

FOUND! If you only knew then (the things I only know now) by Nillegible (T, 34k, JFM/YZY, wangxian, JLY/JZX, time travel fix-it, jiang family fix-it, WIP)

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5. Hey was hopeful that you could find this fic

The most I remember was that when wei ying went to go to jin lings one month, a yuan ends up going. I'm pretty sure wei ying ends up hurt some how so a yuan ends up with lan wangji and the rest of the sects? @yilingpatriarchsimp

FOUND? Those Who Defy by qurbat (G, 31k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, canon divergence, found family, everyone who matter lives au, justice for wen remnants, WIP)

FOUND? To Ride A Stygian Tiger by Madyamisam for Duochanfan (M, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel, Angst with a happy ending, BAMF WWX, Dark LWJ, Slow burn, Family Feels, Misunderstandings)

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6. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic I read that I don't remember the name of! It's a modern au, where lan zhan and lan xichen are the heads of a company and wei ying is a copier repair person (or something like that? Some kind of repairing) and lan zhan keeps filing complaints against wei ying, and lan xichen (I think they refer to him as lan huan in this fic) jokes about "someone staring at you for too long" not being a reason to file a complaint (idk if it's that exact wording tho). Lan zhan starts stocking the break room fridge with a red drink that wei ying likes, and the final scene is in an elevator and there is some kind of comment about his red tongue when they finally kiss (something like sucking the red out of his mouth or off his tongue or something?). Was slow burn and pining but not sure if it has those tags. I think it was a one shot and not that long but not sure on the exact length or chapter number. Thank you for your help! @toopunkrockforshul

FOUND! threadfic by saltyfeathers (Not Rated, 46k, WIP, WangXian, threadfic, chapters will be tagged individually) okay #6 is from saltyfeathers! it's chapter 16 of this ao3 multichap where each chap is a story. they're all amazing!

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7. Hi, I am looking for a fanfic where WWX and LZ get married and or handfasted. WWX does not think he is good enough for LZ and gives him a list of 7 things and LZ was like "Mark your words" and he completes the 7 things. They handfast in a secluded area? There was maybe water near them? And they maybe got caught or spied on? @abrat4u2

FOUND! Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics)

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8. hi!! looking for a fic i read a while ago where wwx was either resurrected or captured by the jins after nightless city. he's found years later in koi tower by jin ling who sends a letter to jiang cheng and he's eventually rescued. I think there was also a scene where wwx was forced to experiment on a dead tiger? can't find it anywhere on ao3 :,)

Sorry I don’t have the link, but this sounds a lot like a twitter thread fic I read a while ago. Some more details in case anyone recalls. WWX is kept by the Jin and blackmailed with the safety of JYL and Jin Ling. Little Jin Ling goes exploring and find WWX through a gate. WWX realizes that JGY put a curse of Jin Ling so he gives Jin Ling a letter to give to JC. Lans remove the curse and JC and LWJ rescue WWX.

FOUND? of all the hands by typefortydeductions (E, 51k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Emperor LXC, PTSD, Nightmares, Dual Cultivation, Mental Health Issues, Fluff and Angst, Dom/sub Undertones, Consensual Non-Consent, Bonding, Mutual Pining, Orgasm Delay/Denial Politics ,Improper Use of the Lan Forehead Ribbon, yunmeng trio reconciliation) Lan Zhan stops Meng Yao from making Wei Ying work on tiger corpses that is causing him to be depleted of energy

FOUND? This threadfic by @/greenteafiend1 here's the threadfic! No tigers but hopefully it's at least similar

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9. Hi! I hope you can help me find this fic. Lan zhan learned that Wei Ying had their child. He learned this when he saw a mark on A-yuan back similar to his. Thank you very much

FOUND! The Emperor’s Love for Lotus Flowers by cherrieblossoms (M, 46k, WIP, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Single Parent WWX, Emperor LWJ, Knotting, Unplanned Pregnancy, YLLZ WWX, Family Drama, Family Bonding, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Angst and Romance, Sharing a Bed, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Creampie, Light Dom/sub, Light Bondage, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Nipple Play, Blow Jobs, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Soulmates, Scenting, Scent Kink, Scent Marking, Breeding, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Protective LWJ, Male Lactation, Belly Bulge, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, Love Bites, Nesting, Mpreg, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex )

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10. Hey, I’m looking for a fic that I remember SO CLEARLY but can’t find?? Its multi chapter omegaverse during a war against the wens, wei wuxian is an omega that goes on to create this massive guerilla warfare faction/effort. But every time he goes into heat he goes absolutely feral and goes on a black-out killing spree. It starts with gets captured by wen chao and meets lan zhan for the first time while they’re both in captivity. Anyway lan zhan helps wuxian escape, and they both believe the other lost forever. So there’s that. I’m pretty sure wuxian gets a name/rumor about it as the red demon from yiling, something like that? Please help me find it, I’m worried the author might have taken it down, but it was so long and so good! @pisceseelie

FOUND! I Will Not Go Gentle into the Quiet Night by TriviasFolly (M, 89k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, no cultivation au, Vaugely Historical AU?, royal au, War AU, Slow Burn, Attempted Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Murder)

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11. hi! i'm looking for a wangxian fic: wangxian were engaged & lwj sees mme yu whipping wwx with zidian bcs he refused to break off the engagement to lwj & lwj stops her & says she has no right to punish wwx when he'll be a member of the lan clan. jyl also saw him get whipped i think

NOT FOUND! If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 82k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS,  Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending,  Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels)

FOUND! standing by you; holding on by Anonymous (T, 8k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, No Sunshot Campaign, YZY's terrible parenting, that is., Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, little bit of BAMF lwj too)

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12. I would LOVE to find this fic again: one shot, less than 10k, WWX does not come back. Guanyin Temple happens somehow but LWJ is absolutely brutal against his brother. Like, everything he said in defense of JGY was a rethread of how LWJ tried to defend WWX, and it ended with LWJ saying something like then I will do as you did and then kills JGY and walks away. It was righteous (as befits our LWJ) and totally a balm on that day you want to strangle LXC for being such a naive idiot sometimes. @mreisse

FOUND! Bitter Recompense by mondengel (M, 1k, LXC & LWJ, Angst)

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13. Hello i'm for a fic where wwx dies and everyone mourns for him (including wens in burial mounds) and everyone tried to revive him. @aycee0806​

Is 13 the one where WWX died right at the cusp of immortality right around when the first seige was supposed to happen, and because of that even though he was dead his body didn't decay? So a type os glass casket/shrine was set up for him up in the Burial Mounds I think? Or is it some other fic? I know I've read at least one other fic with this vague premise, but either way I absolutely CANNOT remember the fic name either

FOUND? could be the deleted "When I'm gone" by qiankun_pouch. I have a copy of it. ~bluekittenfire

FOUND? If One for you, then One for us by KusakabeNAyako (T, 85k, wangxian, WIP, Canon Divergence, WN is precious Cinnamon roll, WWX is precious cinnamon roll, Rape/Non-con Elements, YLLZ WWX)

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14. I’m really hoping you can help me find this fic! It takes place during the cloud recesses study arc and lan qiren or someone uses a spell/talisman that allows the whole class to experience the pain at the moment of their death (or maybe it’s a spell gone wrong?) but the whole class gets shocked when wei ying end up experiencing getting ripped up by corpses. i also very clearly remember wei ying slamming his arm on a desk hard enough to break it while the spell is active. it’s angsty and i think the first few chapters are in lwj’s pov? it’s also on ao3 if that helps 🙏🏻 @shoalghost​

NOT FOUND! To Gaze at the End by mondengel (M, 1k, LXC & LWJ, Horror)

mondengel: About #14: I forget the title and author now, but a year or two ago someone did ask to use the initial bit I wrote on tumblr as the start of a continuation, which I granted, so there is a chaptered fic out there with a rougher version of To Gaze at the End in italics at the beginning of it. That might be what they're looking for.

FOUND! The Shattered Smile by Amaranthines (M, 26k, wangxian, canon divergence, canon-typical violence, non-graphic violence, fluff & angst, eventual happy ending, falling in love, mental health issues, mental instability, mental breakdown, pining, WIP)

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15. HII!!, I was wondering if you have the fanfic where wei wuxian is going through a hard time bc of his gf jenny and lan wangji the son of a ceo who is working a sex shop to close it down also jiang cheng works at the bar-

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16. Hi mods, thanks for all you do! Fic finder request: I don't remember the rest of the plot, but WWX returns from the Burial Mounds and is using resentful energy to literally hold his body together (i.e. all the broken bones from WC/WZL dropping him in). WQ is found to fix him and she does a surgery where WWX has to pull back the resentful energy one body part at a time so she can fix it without him bleeding out. (The surgery might happen in Qinghe?)

FOUND! ❤️ three surgeries and a mercy kill by MarbleGlove (T, 11k, medical procedures, fix-it, Demonic Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Self-Indulgent, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

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17. Hi! I've been searching for a certain time travel Wangxian fic for a while now, and I can't find, probably cause I don't remember the name!

Basically, it starts with LW and Nie Huaisang getting into a book exchange (porn, it's very awkward at first) during LW's seclusion that leads to them getting closer and becoming friends. fast forward years later (possibly 13, I dont remember) and NH approaches LW saying that he's found a way to fix this whole mess: Time travel! LW agrees and they both get flung back to the Burial Mounds Era.

But things are a bit different. LW's body has his old scars, both the brand and the whips, but he's closer in physical age to where he should post-sunshot. This comes up later.

Anyway, LW and NH know some of the goings on that they have to prevent, but the don't have all the answers, cause the whole murder-mystery-Jin Guangyao-reveal never happened. But they do know they need to get WWX and Wens some immediate help, like money and food, as well as a better means of income than radish sales. LW, in the hopes of starting all this, creates a fake identity, dressing in simple dark clothes and using a sort of magic-glamour and large hat to obscure his face (mostly cause he thinks WWX hates him and doesn't trust him, I think) and goes to talk to WWX. He asks him to write a book about ways to help the common people deal with monsters and little cultivation things. WWX almost immediately recognizes LW, even though he can't see his face, and is struck both with immense curiosity about what has driven LW to hide and also creating this book sounds fun. So he does, and LW publishes it. He also, in disguise, visits the burial mounds a lot. WWX doesn't reveal who it is to the Wens, but he does go on about how they can trust this mysterious strange and acts very friendly and very close and Wen Qing thinks the whole thing is suspicious.

Next, NH remembers that Jin Jin accused WWX of cursing him, which led to the whole Qiongqu Path and murder of Jin Zixuan and kicked off everything else. So, they need to find who really cursed him.

LW, in disguise, asks WWX to create a curse tracker, and when asked about what kinds of curses it should work on, he specifically says the hundred holes curse.

During a couple of these disguised visits, WWX says that LW is really good with A-Yuan. LW is, obviously, missing the boy who grew up his son, but is also happy to him with his family. LW tells WWX about Sizhui, described as a child he cared for but who has returned to his family and therefore LW can't see him anymore. In another visit, (for reasons I can't remember) LW faints (gets injured??) and WWX, obviously, freaks out and demands WQ take care of the shadowing face hiding stranger. It's as she's doing that that she discovers some interesting things. Namely, a Wen brand on his chest and a fuckton of whips scars on the guys back. But all these scars are old! Like, maybe 10 years old, and so it's weird. If this was someone the Wens had tortured, his motives are not great for helping them but also, she would have definitely helped treat these wounds and she didn't! WWX promises that the stranger is trustworthy when she brings up questions, but is also professional enough to not mention a patients scars to someone unrelated.

After that, WWX finishes the curse tracker and gives it to the LW, who gives it Jin Zixun who trackes it to Su She and attacks him in the middle of a conference. LW and NH are enjoying the show and hiding the curse tracker. But! Rumors spread all the way back to Yiling, but how a Jin managed to track down the one who cursed him. Specifically the Hundred Holes curse. And WWX goes, 'wait a minute, I made a thing that did that. How did LZ know about that 2 WEEKS in advance?'

I think the last chapter, (it's unfinished) was NH and LW arranging to sneak WWX into Jing Ling's one month celebration. And WWX overhears someone who caught a glimpse of LW taking a bath remarking on all those scars. But WWX has seen LW's back, back in the Cloud Recesses, and there were no scars then. And it ends there, with WWX with some pieces and absolutely no logical way to put them together.

I have searched EVERYWHERE!! Everything I can think of!! Do you recognize it?? Could you find it?? It's a fantastic read. I love the subtle friendship of LW and NH as they try to fix the world, but not telling anyone what they're doing or why they're suddenly spending so much time together. And WWX enjoying time with LW not worrying about his cultivation getting in the way and without LW asking him to go to Gusu, but still trying to figure out why LW needs a fake identity to do it. @several-things-in-abundance

FOUND? A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, slow burn, getting together, first time, pining, pining while fucking, burial mounds settlement days, angst w happy ending) might be this one though not super sure, it's been a long time since I read it last.

FOUND? Not to be sobered by anything(like regret) by astrobandit (deleted)

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18. Heyoo back again for the next FF~

A) Looking for  a time travel fic in which WWX comes up with a cover that he knows the future because of the "Prophetic bird sh*t".

B) Everyone thinking tht WQ and WWX had something going on at the burial mounds, and WWX correcting it later on when a junior ask him about his wife.

Thanks again mods!! ~♡~ 

18A)

FOUND? In Eclipse by oleanderedits (G, 45k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon)

18B)

FOUND? the tragic and entirely true story of the romance between the yiling patriarch and his wife, most renowned doctor of her generation by ravenditefairylights (T, 18k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Angst, Rumors, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Heteronormativity, Fake Marriage, Chronic Pain, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining)

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19. Hi! I looked through your warprize compilation but couldn't find the fic I was looking for. In that fanfic, Wwx and Wq make up a plan to have Wwx marry Lwj, so that they could buy some time until the sects attacked and since Lwj was the least likely to try to murder Wwx. Wwx acts distantly, but after the mid-autumn festival, they start getting closer. Some time later, Xy invades the Burial Mounds and tries to attack a-Qing, who was out and about on the middle of the night. Lwj saves her, but is almost killed while trying to do so. Wwx had been called to Baixue temple with Wq, and, when he was there and received Lwj's ask for help, he believed it was a trap from Lwj and almost didn't go back. He felt really guilty about using Lwj and almost getting him killed.

FOUND? 99% sure this one is 💖 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriages) XY attack is somewhere in the middle chapters I think 🤔

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20. Hello! I hope you can help me find this fic. I remember it is in Outsiders pov (or OC’s POV). Wwx got kidnapped. Then wwx reveal his ruthlessness (of being yiling patriach) to his kidnappers. The OC became terrified of wwx and wishes he didn’t join the kidnappers lol. Then, when Lwj came to rescue wwx, wwx switch to a weak being. The OC was dumbfounded because the terrifying person became a fragile, weak, innocent being when Lwj came.

Thank you very much! Have a great day!

FOUND? pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, WangXian, POV Outsider, BAMF WWX, Kidnapping, Violence, YLLZ WWX, not exactly but the vibes are there, Post-Canon)

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[labyrynth]

okay so apparently this is the "quick and dirty" version, except that it's...a lot less quick than I intended.

Was Mo Xuanyu a threat to Jin Guangyao (and/or his position)?

No.

Why Not?

To his Position: Jin Guangshan brought mxy to Koi Tower after Jin Zixuan died to threaten jgy's newfound position as heir...except that jgs never legitimized him. Mxy's presence would be much more effective as a threat if he was legitimized, so why didn't jgs legitimize him? Most likely, he didn't want to piss off his wife (even more than she already was, anyway), but mxy's general lack of skill and...uncharismatic nature weren't exactly "ideal heir" material.

To Jin Guangyao himself: [i.e. reputation, safety, etc.] lack of will, mostly; according to Jin Ling, mxy basically idolized jgy. but also, lack of ability: if he had the ability to make himself seem like someone to take seriously, his situation with both the Jins and the Mo family would have been completely different.

Did Jin Guangyao perceive Mo Xuanyu to be a threat (to him and/or his position)?

No.

Why not?

He isn't stupid. He would know everything I mentioned above.

Jgy's upset at mxy's presence wasn't because mxy was a legitimate threat to jgy, but because Jin Guangshan, the father he had been working so tirelessly to try to earn the approval of was actively trying to undermine him and spite him. Who wouldn't be upset?

Did Jin Guangyao fabricate a story about sexual harassment as an excuse to get rid of Mo Xuanyu?

[canon-typical content warnings]

No.

(Aka, did Mo Xuanyu actually sexually harass Jin Guangyao? Probably. At the very least, he probably did something that looked a lot like it to an outsider.)

Why not?

Comes from MXY's Account: when mxy summoned wwx, he had written several notes that explained his situation. It's after reading mxy's own notes that wwx concludes that mxy was sent home for sexually harassing other men (ch2)

WWX dismisses this theory: when wwx witnesses the argument between jgy and qin su, he theorizes about what the letter might say, and considers the possibility that jgy may have played a part in mxy's removal; he dismisses the theory, concluding that mxy getting kicked out was most likely legitimate (ch47)

No need to remove MXY: mxy's presence alone isn't a substantial enough threat to warrant addressing, and he ceased to be a potential threat entirely when jgs died, with no path to legitimacy.

MXY has no grudge against JGY: If mxy had done nothing wrong, but was still disgraced and sent back to his abusive family, it stands to reason that he would hold a grudge against the person who slandered him and sent him back. Adding one more person to his vengeance list wouldn't cost him anything extra, but he's satisfied with just the Mo family. he doesn't appear to even make any mention of jgy in all of his notes. (wwx doesn't realize the person sexually harassed was jgy until ch47)

Not how JGY would handle a threat: if mxy was in possession of some piece of information that jgy didn't want him to know, there's no reason to just...send mxy home. the information is either consequential or inconsequential. if it's inconsequential, it isn't worth the hubbub of such a damning rumor (see next point), and if it's consequential, it isn't worth the risk of letting mxy wander around freely when he could keep him close (with mutual blackmail), imprisoned (a la sisi), or just kill him (we already know he's not a very good cultivator, and hey--accidents happen).

Not a rumor JGY would create: circulating a rumor that "the bastard son of a whore turned sect leader was involved in homosexual incest" when said bastard son of a whore IS actually involved in incest (albeit unintentionally) is just knocking on the devil's door. if he's making up a rumor, there's literally no reason to have it hit so close to home, especially if it's something as attention grabbing as "bastard son of a whore turned sect leader receives unwanted sexual advances from his own half-brother"

in conclusion:

headcanon whatever the fuck you want, but the way that the text currently is, Mo Xuanyu was never a threat to Jin Guangyao, Jin Guangyao never thought he was, and Mo Xuanyu wasn't just some hapless uwu gay baby that fell victim to eeevil Jin Guangyao's Power Hungry Plotting

sometimes...other people do bad things...and make mistakes...and it's because they're exercising their own agency.

Speculation Zone: I think mxy probably was trying to come onto jgy, and had been for a while, with jgy doing his best to gently rebuff his affections and keep things under wraps; he really Does Not need any more scrutiny or speculation about his character. Based on the way he reacts in the present (especially when he shows up at Koi Tower), I'm guessing it was probably Jin Ling who saw, probably panicked and ran away, and told the first person he saw...and the rest is history.

[mollymijh]

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)

Relationship: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo

Characters: Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén

Additional Tags: Mentions of incest, Past Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo/Qín Sù, Romance, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Power Bottom Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Married Jin Guangyao, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jin Guangshan's convenient lube stash, Not Beta Read

He expected the honourable Lan Xichen to push him away out of moral obligation at having a married man throw himself at him, or maybe at the very least tense up and not react at all to the sudden kiss. A part of him had waited for his rejection, a rejection was easier to understand, he’d been subjected to it for most of his life. Acceptance, particularly acceptance from Lan Xichen, was such a strange concept, one that he didn't think he would ever understand.

On what should have been the happiest night of his life, Jin Guangyao, unable to bring himself to consummate his marriage to his sister, instead finds himself seeking comfort in the bed of his sworn brother and former lover, Lan Xichen.

[celestial-altair101]

Nie Huaisang’s Revenge Plan( More towards “The Untamed” universe)

Warning: This is very long. It includes spoilers and some sensitive topics.

Source: https://hishoukoku.tumblr.com/post/661223468299419648/nie-huaisangs-master-plan-ive-seen-a-few#:~:text=Nie%20Huaisang%20seeks%20out%20the,Wuxian%20back%20from%20the%20dead.

After Nie Mingjue died, Nie Huaisang was incredibly heartbroken. In his grief, he would hear Nie Mingjue’s voice. However, Nie Huaisang noticed a book flipping and turned his attention to it. Within the contents of the book, he found out that Jin Guangyao had altered the Cleansing Music. He realized that Jin Guangyao had used him to sabotage the mission and in doing so, killed most of the Nie disciples and his cousin Nie Zhonghui. Nie Huaisang began suspecting that his older brother’s death is in fact a murder and that Jin Guangyao is behind it. Soon enough, Jin Guangyao came in and told Nie Huaisang to restrain his grief. Nie Huaisang did not trust Jin Guangyao but still bowed to him. (Symbolism that connects this bow to Jin Guangyao’s bow for Jin Guangshan.) When Nie Huaisang found out his brother’s corpse went missing, he began to search for them.

When Jin Guangyao and Qin Su got married, he eavesdrops on Madam Qin telling Bi Cao about the fact that Qin Su is Jin Guangyao’s half-sister. Nie Huaisang was shocked at this revelation and decided he should investigate Jin Guangyao’s personal life, especially his crimes. He visited Carp Tower more often and was perplexed when Jin Guangshan made Mo Xuanyu a Jin disciple. He also found out that Jin Guangyao is acquainted with Xue yang. Nie Huaisang’s time in Carp Tower made him realize that Mo Xuanyu is very disliked among the Jin disciples. Of course, he went the extra mile and learned that Mo Xuanyu’s life is full of abuse and hate.

After Xue Yang witnessed Xiao Xingchen’s suicide, decided to work with Jin Guangyao, the Nie Huaisang. Nie Huaisang read the book Wei Wuxian had written about demonic cultivation and figured out a sacrificial summoning ritual. In Lanling, Nie Huaisang began to hear the rumors going around the Jin sect that Mo Xuanyu had forced himself on Jin Guangyao. Due to that, Mo Xuanyu is kicked from the Jin sect. Nie Huaisang knew how mentally ill Mo Xuanyu is and decided that this is his chance to use the sacrificial summoning ritual. Nie Huaisang then coerced the mentally ill Mo Xuanyu to do the sacrificial summoning to bring back his old friend, the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian. Then he convinced an old man to tell the story of Wei Wuxian, by promising him some gold.

But even after all these years of searching for his brother’s corpse, he only managed to find an arm. Nie Huaisang decided to let the fierce arm loose on the Mo village where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are. This only prompted Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to investigate. However, when Nie Huaisang is running away, Lan Wangji manages to cut a piece of his robe off. Lan Wangji’s sac then led them to the Man-Eating castle. After Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji freed Jin Ling from the walls of the Man-Eating castle, they confronted Nie Huaisang about what had happened. Nie Huaisang claimed that it is just an ancestral tomb for the blade spirits. He explained that the whole idea of the cave eating men alive is just a false rumor that he made up to prevent people from entering the tomb and dying to the angry spirits. Nie Huaisang was lying to an extent throughout the entire confrontation though as the walls of the tomb are indeed made from humans.

Nie Huaisang then lures the junior disciples into Yi City. He nailed a dead black cat to the door of Jin Ling’s room and make a pool of blood outside as Jin Ling woke up. This happens night after night despite Jin Ling switching inns. Which eventually prompts him to investigate. Meanwhile, Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a few other juniors doing a night hunt in Langya. They first find the head of a cat in their soup, and then the corpse of a cat in their beds. This prompts them as well to investigate, ultimately meeting up with Jin Ling. When they all met, Nie Huaisang disguises himself as a hunter from a nearby village and point them directly toward Yi City. Nie Huaisang managed to get into the dungeons of the Jin sect and found a former prostitute Sisi. Hiding his identity, he asked her what she did to land herself here, but Sisi is hesitant to say anything. Nie Huaisang prompts her that he means no harm and that he’s trying to help her as he is trying to uncover Jin Guangyao’s crime to the world. Hearing this, Sisi reluctantly told him how Jin Guangyao had killed his father by hiring a bunch of prostitutes to force themselves on him. Nie Huaisang then frees Sisi. He then convinced Bicao to send Qin Su a letter about Jin Guangyao’s misdeeds.

All the while, Lan Wanji and Wei Wuxian found all of Nie Mingjue’s body parts, but they are still missing the head. Nie Huaisang because of this managed to get all of his brother’s body parts back, besides the head of course, and is now beginning to sew them together.

Wei Wuxian of course managed to sneak into the Fragrant Palace and found Nie Mingjue’s severed head. Wei Wuxian is then able to tap into Nie Mingjue’s past and saw how Nie Mingjue truly died. He also saw Qin Su being distraught and upset. She confronted Jin Guangyao about the information, but Jin Guangyao denies it. Of course, this was because she had received the letter Bicao had written to her. Afterward, Wei Wuxian told Lan Wangji about this, all the while, Nie Huaisang is listening to their conversation. He then went to Fragrant Palace to retrieve the head of his brother.

Wei Wuxian then convinces Jin Guangyao to let him enter Fragrant Palace and then attempts to rat Jin Guangyao out. Nie Huaisang deliberately fainted in the middle of the confrontation to make himself look weak. Wei Wuxian’s identity is then revealed, but Nie Huaisang had to pretend to be surprised so as to not draw suspicion. While Wei Wuxian left with Lan Wangji due to Wei Wuxian being stabbed by Jin Ling, Nie Huaisang decided he needs to execute the next part of his plan. Nie Huaisang went to the Guanyin Temple to replace Meng Shi’s body (via digging from outside of the wall) with his dead brother’s corpse all sewn up. He then placed a poisonous trap in it. Nie Huiasang afterward sends Jin Guangyao a letter warning him that he will expose all his secrets in seven days.

This caused the Second Siege of the Burial Mounds. Su She under Jin Guangyao’s guidance uses the Stygian Tiger seal to control the corpses and seals the cultivators’ spiritual power. Nie Huaisang beforehand had led the disciples of various sects to a cave and probably hired someone to tie them up. Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Wen Ning managed to find them and set them free which ended up with the sects (including his) meeting up with Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Wen Ning. The corpses caught up to them eventually and they all ended up in a cave. Wei Wuxian began to talk about his theories and analysis which resulted in Su She revealing that he is Jin Guangyao’s accomplice.

After escaping the corpses, all the sects go to Yunmeng, at Lotus Pier. Bicao and Sisi (as instructed by Nie Huaisang) arrive to tell their stories. Sisi talks about how Jin Guangyao murdered Jin Guangshan and Bicao talks about the fact that Jin Guangyao’s wife Qin Su was his own half-sister. Hearing this, all the sects are now against Jin Guangyao and are plotting to storm Karp Tower.

Nie Huaisang then went to Yunping City and was most likely willingly captured by Su She to see his plans coming to fruition. He woke up when the “monks” screamed after activating the trap. When the coffin got opened, he again pretended to be shocked at the matter. Later on, he deliberately allowed Su She to cut his leg. Nie Mingjue’s spirit, sensing that his brother is hurt, stabbed Su She killing him. After everything is settled, Lan Xichen asked Nie Huaisang for the medicine. Nie Huaisang then exclaimed that Jin Gungyao was about to do something and that resulted in Lan Xinchen stabbing Jin Guangyao. The blood from the stab wound got on the Stygian Amulet and the coffin causing Nie Mingjue’s spirit to be re-released. Jin Guangyao stayed behind in the collapsing building after pushing Lan Xichen away, which ultimately caused his death.

In the end, Wei Wuxian pieces it all together and suspected that Nie Huaisang was behind everything, but he has no evidence to support it.

[ao3feed-xicheng]

Metamorphosis: the ultimate power

by Àiqíng Luódéligés (Elinor_luo) In Moondao, a world parallel to our own, morality is not dichotomous. There are no absolute villains or heroes, just complex beings whose actions reflect their beliefs and choices. Humans preceded the gods, and their virtues and vices shaped spiritual entities and the very fabric of reality. In this world, the Little Red Riding Hood narrative would be questioned, as the wolf may not be evil incarnate. The line between good and evil is as thin as the silk of a spider's web, and the art of dissimulation is mastered by those who walk in the shadows. Get ready to explore a world where hypocrisy is the biggest flaw, and disappointment with those you worship is inevitable. Enter Moondao, but be warned: this is a Dark Fantasy, full of sensitive content and a mature narrative. It's a place where happy endings are illusions, and every choice can be the last. Welcome to the ultimate stage of metamorphosis, where destiny is woven in the shadows. Words: 843, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other Characters: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Wei Changze, Lan Huan | Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren, Song Lan | Song Zichen, Lan Family (Modao Zushi), Lan An (Modao Zushi), Wen Ning | Wen Qionglin, Wen Qing (Modao Zushi), Wen Ruohan, Wen Chao (Modao Zushi), Wen Zhuliu, Wen Xu (Modao Zushi), Luo "Mian Mian" Qingyang, Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Xiao Xingchen, Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao, Jin Guangshan, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Jiang Yanli, Jiang Fengmian, Yu Ziyuan, Mo Xuanyu, Mo Ziyuan, Lan Yi (Modao Zushi), Baoshan Sanren, Cangse Sanren Relationships: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji/Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin & Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin & Jiang Yanli & Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji & Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Lan Huan | Lan Xichen/Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin/Lan Huan | Lan Xichen, Baoshan Sanren/Lan Yi, Baoshan Sanren & Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Baoshan Sanren & Cangse Sanren, Baoshan Sanren & Xiao Xingchen, Baoshan Sanren & Yanling Daoren, Baoshan Sanren & Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Baoshan Sanren & Lan Yi & Wen Mao, Baoshan Sanren & Cangse Sanren & Xiao Xingchen & Yanling Daoren, Baoshan Sanren/Song Lan | Song Zichen, Baoshan Sanren & Xue Yang | Xue Chengmei, A-Qing & Baoshan Sanren, Baoshan Sanren/Xue Yang | Xue Chengmei, Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | Xue Chengmei, Song Lan | Song Zichen/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | Xue Chengmei, Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao/Xue Yang | Xue Chengmei Additional Tags: Dark Fantasy, Gore, Demons via https://ift.tt/CI0HfZN

[stiltonbasket]

Can we get some fem!wwx being a badass :3c ? Its what she deserves!

"What do you mean, he wouldn't light the lantern with Shijie?" Wei Wuxian says coldly. "I saw them fastening the wires together. What happened when it came to launching it?"

Mianmian wishes she were anywhere else—on the other side of the world, perhaps, or even back in the den of snakes called the Jinlintai. If asked at any point before now, she would have been the first to say that Wei Wuxian was a good-tempered girl, slow to anger and quick to forgive; but the Mianmian of half an hour ago had not yet thought of informing Young Mistress Wei that Jin Zixuan prevented Jiang-guniang from lighting their Qixi lantern with him, and now she knows better. Wei Wuxian is out for blood, and Mianmian doubts that the younger girl will be content until she spills it.

“Jin-gongzi heard our shimei talking about the wedding plans for next spring, and—well,” Mianmian sighs. “He didn’t like being reminded of the engagement, so he told Jiang-guniang to let him light the lantern alone.”

“Oh, did he?” mutters Wei Wuxian. “Thanks, Mianmian.”

And with that, she hitches up her skirts and runs off into the forest, after the departing Jin shixiongdi and regrettably, Jin Zixuan.

Mianmian puts her face in her hands for a moment before following. Naturally, she would like to prevent any unpleasantness (or, heaven forbid, a fight) between Wei-guniang and Jin Zixuan, but a part of her dearly wants to hide somewhere in the trees nearby and wait to see what happens.

Succumbing to the impulse, she did exactly that, and what happened next defied all expectation.

Wei Wuxian thrashed Jin Zixuan soundly when he insinuated that Jiang Fengmian preferred her over his own son and daughter, and then he went on to say that Lan Wangji was the most unfortunate young master of their generation because of his engagement to her.

“I stand by what I said,” Jin Zixuan spat through bleeding lips, after Wei-guniang wrestled Suihua away from him and threw it a hundred yards down the mountain. “I might be unsatisfied with Jiang-guniang, but at least your uncle didn’t see fit to betroth me to you, even if you really are his daughter.”

Wei Wuxian turned her nose up and sneered. “I have my own parents, peacock,” she said. “My father and mother were honorable people, and I was the only child they had. No one really believes I’m Jiang-shushu’s daughter, but you—that fine Fuqin you think so much of doesn’t even know how many children he’s got. Better you have your way and never marry my shijie—forget having a husband who loves her, she would have to spend the rest of her life guarding against her own father-in-law!”

Jin Zixuan went very still. Mianmian winced; everyone in the Jinlintai did their part towards keeping Jin Guangshan’s indiscretions from his son, and while Jin-gongzi knows that his father has a weakness for prostitutes and dancing girls—which many wealthy men do, both within the ranks of the jianghu and outside it—no one has dared to mention the encounters with gentry women. In all likelihood, Jin Zixuan knows nothing about them, and to find out like this—

And it was finding out, because Wei Wuxian had meant what she said. Mianmian knew it, the gaggle of shixiongdi knew it, and so did Jin Zixuan.

“Lan Wangji is the most unfortunate man I have ever known,” he said quietly, looking as if he might faint. “He must be, being saddled with you for his future bride. There will be nothing awaiting him at your side but misery.”

Wei Wuxian took no notice. She turned on her heel, ready to depart; and that was when Lan Wangji sailed out of the darkness and punched Jin Zixuan squarely on the nose, sending him sprawling into a pile of dead leaves over six feet away.

“Apologize to Wei Ying this instant,” he threatened, “or I will hit you again.”

Jin Zixuan refused to apologize, and Lan Wangji refused to renege on his threat: so now, both boys and Wei Wuxian are kneeling in Lan Qiren’s office, looking mutinously at the worn blue carpet while Mianmian explains how their Qixi night had gone from bad to worse.

“I expected better of you, Wangji,” Lan Qiren says at last. “You could have defended Wei-guniang’s honor without resorting to violence.”

“He said that I was unfortunate for being betrothed to Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji bites out, tilting his face up to the ceiling; if Mianmian didn’t know better, she might have thought that there were tears in his eyes. “That marrying her would bring me nothing but misery.”

He sounds painfully young as he repeats Jin Zixuan’s words, young and bewildered and lost. Something changes in Lan Qiren’s bearing when Lan Wangji falls silent again, as if there was some kind of meaning in the insult that none but the two of them knew; and then, without any further remonstrance, Lan Qiren sinks into a chair and sends Wei-guniang from the room.

“Escort her back to the ladies’ compound, Wangji,” he sighs. “Luo-guniang, accompany Young Master Jin to the healing ward and see that he gets something for his nose. I expect his father and Jiang-zongzhu to be here by the day after tomorrow.”

Jin Zixuan twitches. “Why?”

“Because I wrote to them,” Lan Qiren tells him. “You will not be disciplined, Jin-gongzi. Regardless of your harsh words to Wei-guniang and my nephew, neither of them were hurt, so they will face the appropriate consequences for fighting without permission, but the matter between you and Maiden Jiang should be settled between your families.”

He hesitates for a moment, and then:

“If I know Jiang-zongzhu at all, he will ask your father to break off the betrothal. The Yunmeng Jiang do not usually make arranged marriages, and there is no reason for you and Jiang-guniang to go forward with this one if you are so badly opposed to it. Good night to you both, and do try to get some rest before tomorrow morning. Neither broken noses nor sleepless nights will excuse you from lessons.”

And with that, Mianmian and Zixuan are dismissed.

“You should have stopped Wei-guniang,” Jin Zixuan says hollowly, after one of the medics patches him up and sends him back to the disciples’ compound. “If I hadn’t said all those things, Lan-xiansheng wouldn’t have had to write to Father.”

“Well, you meant them,” Mianmian points out. “And if Jiang-zongzhu really does call off the engagement, you’ll be free to marry someone you like. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”

Zixuan purses his lips. “Mother will be furious,” he mutters. “She keeps saying I’ll never find anyone better than Jiang Yanli, and...Mianmian?”

“Hm?”

“Was Wei-guniang telling the truth? About father?”

“Yes, she was,” Mianmian replies, after a beat of silence. “Your mother keeps him off the disciple girls as best she can, but...a couple of years ago, he thought he could try his luck with Li Shuai. Jiang-zongzhu showed up before he could do anything, but he tried.”

“You’re lying,” Jin Zixuan says, his voice trembling. “Li Shuai is sixteen. Two years ago, she would have been—”

“The youngest child Furen knows about is around four, shixiong. His mother is only twenty.”

Jin Zixuan gulps. “A prostitute?”

“No, the second daughter of a wealthy village head. Jin-zongzhu hasn’t stopped visiting her or bringing her gifts, so she and her family must think he’ll be taking her in as a concubine. He never stays with the girls past their early twenties, and of course he never takes them in, but there it is.

“I don’t think Wei-guniang was wrong when she mentioned Lady Jiang guarding against your father. You don’t like Jiang Yanli, so there would be no protection from you. And I’ve seen the way Zongzhu looks at her when Jiang-zongzhu and Furen aren’t there.”

They stand together without speaking for almost a quarter-hour after that, and then Jin Zixuan bids her good night and goes back to his room. Mianmian retires to her own quarters with her heart pounding in her chest; and once there, she finds herself remembering the way Lan Wangji fought for Wei Wuxian’s honor, as if even the thought of Zixuan speaking badly of her was more than he could bear.

Will Mianmian’s future husband do the same for her, one day?

He had better be willing to defend me from the rest of the world, or I won’t accept his suit, she giggles to herself. But if I ever get the chance, I think I’d like to be the one defending him!

[robininthelabyrinth]

Three Gates - on ao3 (for content warnings check Ao3) - on tumblr: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

- Chapter 4 -

Meng Yao learned all the same things as Nie Mingjue, clearly being groomed to for position as Nie Mingjue’s counselor along with several of Nie Mingjue’s cousins – a great honor, he supposed.

Still, it meant that he knew what a Discussion Conference was, and knew to fear its imminent arrival.

Everything was going so well, after all.

His mother was dressing properly now, settling slowly into acting like a proper lady no matter that she was only a concubine – she’d even started to warm up to Nie Huaisang, taking the small child into her arms and singing to him the way she used to sing to Meng Yao, spoiling him a little out of what Meng Yao suspected might even be guilt at her initial plans for him, finally recognizing what Meng Yao had long ago realized: that he was good luck, not bad. A person, her son, and not merely a tool.  

Best of all, Meng Yao’s little schemes on her behalf seemed to have been rather effective: Lao Nie had grown quite fond of buying Meng Shi little trinkets whenever he returned home from travel, burnished combs from Gusu, golden earrings from Lanling, even a hairpiece adorned with the Yunmeng pearls that Meng Yao knew she’d always envied.  Her courtyard did not go unvisited, and the household begrudgingly unbent enough to let her give orders, the servants and retainers expressing through their service, through their willingness to overlook her origins, their appreciation of how her skillful playing and witty conversation helped ease the worst strains of Lao Nie’s vicious temper.

But now the time had come for the Discussion Conference to be held at Qinghe.

It was one thing when the conferences were held elsewhere, like the one in Yunping that had brought Nie Mingjue into Meng Yao’s life and Lao Nie into Meng Shi’s, because in those situations Meng Shi could be safely left behind at home – but not in Qinghe.

For the first time, Meng Yao almost wished that Lao Nie did not like his mother so much. After all, as a general rule, concubines were not allowed to host strange men, not even on their husband’s behalf, but when the concubine was favored, as Meng Shi was, when there was no first wife available to run the kitchen and do the welcoming, to greet the guests…

For anyone but Meng Shi to do it would be an affront to her dignity, and it would never occur to Lao Nie to be ashamed of her like that, even with her having been a prostitute before. It made perfect sense – and if she were anyone but herself, it would be fine.

A compliment, even; a willingness of Lao Nie’s part to show her off to his peers.

But Meng Yao knew, as Meng Shi knew, that there was a pit waiting for them.

After all, a Discussion Conference would bring in all the leaders of the major and minor sects – there was no way that Jin Guangshan, Sect Leader Jin, would miss it, and he had visited Meng Shi often enough through the years that there was no way he would fail to recognize her.

Asking Lao Nie to ignore that Meng Shi was a prostitute was one thing; men since time immemorial had taken on prostitutes as concubines, even those that had borne sons for other men. But to ask him to ignore that she had borne a son for one of his political rivals, for a man he despised as a cringing coward, for him to be exposed as raising one of what Meng Yao now knew the entire cultivation world snidely called the Jin bastards…

Meng Yao worried.

Nie Mingjue didn’t understand why Meng Yao was so worried, of course, but how could he? He’d never been told the details; Meng Yao would have said, trusting his discretion enough, but Meng Shi had stopped him each time.

And so Nie Mingjue thought it was only nervousness ahead of Meng Yao’s first Conference – he himself had skipped the last two Discussion Conferences, despite being old enough to usually have no choice but to come along, on the excuse that he had to care for Nie Huaisang, now a lively if lazy toddler whose favorite words were “da-ge”, “er-ge”, and “no”.

“If you don’t feel comfortable, you can go back to rest after the welcoming ceremony,” Nie Mingjue assured Meng Yao, earnest and well-meaning as always. “You don’t even have to stay for the banquet if you don’t want. I have to stay since I’m the heir, but that’s not applicable to you. If you’re worried about face, don’t be; you can take Huaisang with you – that’d be a good excuse, no one would question it.”

Meng Yao dredged up a smile for him. “I may do that,” he said, but knew that by that point it would be too late.

If they’d been better people, they would have warned Lao Nie of what to expect – but for all that he seemed to be a good man, he still had that unpredictable, explosive temper that was the Nie family inheritance as much as all the rest of it, and Meng Shi was determined that Meng Yao get as much of a cultivator’s education as possible before they were cast out – and she was sure they’d be cast out, no matter how well things had gone so far.

Meng Yao had argued with her that the few months extra he got weren’t worth the Nie sect’s loss of face, that they were better off telling him in private lest he be taken by surprise, that if he knew he could take measures to protect them both, but she had refused.

(Meng Yao loved his mother, but sometimes he thought all her cunning got in the way of being smart. He’d never thought that before Qinghe, before he realized there were more ways to do things, to move people, than by playing tricks – before he realized that the truth about the tricks you played coming out might cost you everything you had gained and more.)

The worst of it, though, was that he still had hope.

Hope for his own sake – hope for Jin Guangshan, hope that wouldn’t go away no matter how he tried to quash it.

It wasn’t like he was still the naïve child he’d been before, dreaming of a rescue – he’d gotten that! – but only the hope of every fatherless son that the man who sired him was worth something, that his blood was an inheritance he could be proud of.

A swiftly fading hope, given everything he learned from the teachers about the way the cultivation world worked. As a future counselor to a sect leader, he was privy to all the gossip, all the stories, the judgements on personality and proposed solutions on how to deal with them, none of which were very kind in their analysis of Jin Guangshan – and yet.

And yet.

Qinghe Nie had a tense relationship with Lanling Jin, owing both to personality clashes between their sect leaders and historical precedent, for all that they’d recently become closer allies given the aggression of Qishan Wen; Meng Yao knew that there would still inevitably a negative slant to what he learned, ancient prejudice influencing their judgment. And so he still hoped –

It was not a hope that lasted long.

Sect Leader Jin looked impressive from a distance, in his gold robes and golden adornments, but once he drew near the hints of dissipation on his face were obvious to a boy that had grown up in a brothel: the sort of man that liked women and drink too much, the sort that was a good mark because and not in spite of how inconstant he was.

His eyes skimmed over Meng Yao as if he were nothing, despite there being at least three or four points of similarity between them – Meng Yao resembled his mother more, but not entirely – and stopped at Meng Shi. A brief moment of surprise, and then his lips curled up into the disdainful smirk of knowing something that others did not; his eyes flickered over the crowd and this time landed on Meng Yao directly. Their eyes met for a moment that seemed to last forever, but in truth it was only a few heartbeats before Jin Guangshan’s smirk widened and he turned to whisper something into his aide’s ear, and then that man laughed…

Meng Yao felt a rush of shame fill him from head to toe.

It had been a while since he’d felt that familiar feeling, pain and hurt and rage all mixed together. It wasn’t that Qinghe was some paradise that forgot about birth, there were plenty of people who would sneer at a prostitute’s son, who would refuse to deal with him or call him names – fewer, since Lao Nie had started allowing Meng Shi to help run things in his name, letting her act almost as if she was the first wife – but he hadn’t felt shame about it in a while.

At the beginning, when it happened, Lao Nie told him that people would undoubtedly talk cruelly about him all his life but that good conduct would let him ignore them. It wasn’t especially helpful advice, though Nie Mingjue seemed to believe it (they had names for him too, for all that he was the heir, and not all of them appreciative), but perhaps it would be something he’d understand when he was older.

Certainly Nie Mingjue cited the folly of his youth for why he repaid each insult against Meng Yao with a beating, if the offenders were in his generation, or a beating for their sons if they were older. Folly of youth or not, though, Nie Mingjue’s beatings had reduced the incidents more than any of Lao Nie’s words and Meng Yao had been able to hold his head up high and proud.

Not so now.

In a single instant, he was no longer the second young master of Qinghe, Lao Nie’s ward; Jin Guangshan’s haughty look and laughter reduced him back to being nothing more than gutter trash, a prostitute’s mistake, the leavings of a sect master so high above him as to not even bother to redeem the mother of what, to him, was merely yet another son.

He hated it.

For the first time, it occurred to him that it might have been Jin Guangshan himself that sent his mother to Lao Nie’s bed all that time ago – that he’d been playing a nasty joke on a man he hated, a man he knew hated him in turn, by getting him so drunk that he wouldn’t be able to tell that the woman he had taken to bed was Jin Guangshan’s former lover, no matter how obviously she was throwing herself at him. It would make sense, Jin Guangshan and Wen Ruohan each wanting Lao Nie out of the way for their own reasons…

He hated it.

(He hated even more that even after this humiliation he still somehow wanted the man’s approval, wanted to show him that he was wrong about him, wanted to be taken home by him the way he should have been all along, to seen as critical and necessary and important – but how could that ever be, now that he’d already sworn loyalty to another sect?)

The welcome ceremony was quickly poisoned, whispers spreading and a growing frown on Lao Nie’s face – that explosive temper again – and Meng Yao didn’t need the pointed glance from one of the sect deputies to know it was time for him to leave, using Nie Huaisang (who was being perfectly well behaved) as an excuse for why he had to go.

Nie Mingjue gave him an encouraging nod, because of course he did, oblivious as he was to most social undercurrents, and Meng Yao wondered as he left how long it would take for the whispers to reach him – how long before Nie Mingjue knew that Meng Yao and his mother had lied to them, albeit by omission, that they’d deliberately hidden the truth and made them lose face in front of everyone.

He wondered how Nie Mingjue would react to that.

At least Nie Huaisang was too young for any of this, babbling away happily in something half intelligible and half fragmented pieces of thought that made no sense to anyone, clutching at Meng Yao’s hair as if he was considering trying to eat it again the way he had when he was younger.  

In his anxiety, Meng Yao put him down for bed earlier than he would normally, and true to form Nie Huaisang woke up deep into the night crying for a snack. Meng Yao gave him some dried fruit from the stash he always kept in his pocket and promised to get him something more substantive from the kitchens, and Nie Huaisang snuggled contentedly back into bed (Meng Yao’s bed, which was probably his actual goal the entire time, the devious brat).

Even though Nie Huaisang would probably be fast asleep by the time he returned, Meng Yao still turned his feet towards the kitchens. A Nie kept his promises, no matter how small, and at least for the moment he was still a prospective junior disciple of the Nie sect, ward of the Nie sect leader and responsible for upholding his honor – even if he might not be so tomorrow.

The banquet was still going, though presumably it was finally reaching its tail end, and Meng Yao couldn’t help but wander over in that direction on his way to the kitchens to see if people were still talking about it. About him, him and his mother…

A figure stumbled out of the main hall into the unlit corridors, and two years of familiarity allowed Meng Yao to identify Nie Mingjue at once even before he staggered back against the wall for support, moonlight shining on his face. His eyes were strangely vacant, his mouth slack – was he drunk?

It seemed bizarre to even think it. For all that Qinghe Nie spoke big about how picking up your saber was the step into adulthood, no one would ever allow a boy of Nie Mingjue’s age to drink enough wine to become intoxicated, much less to such a degree. He shouldn’t have even had wine served to his place setting, and previous experiments had revealed that stealing a single cup wasn’t enough to cause any effect on Nie Mingjue’s top-rate constitution. So why..?

Meng Yao hesitated, wondering if he should go and help him. Yesterday he would have done it without thinking, but that had been before the events of the day…

A shadow covered the face of the moon, casting Nie Mingjue’s face into darkness.

No, he was wrong – it was only that there was a man in the hallway, standing now between Nie Mingjue and the open window, and he stepped forward to catch Nie Mingjue in his arms, helping him stand once more.

Someone else had gotten there first, it seemed, and Meng Yao was about to leave when the man smiled, a glint of teeth, and suddenly he recognized him, for all that he’d only seen him briefly years before.

Wen Ruohan.

Sect Leader Wen, the only thing that could make Jin Guangshan and Lao Nie forget their enmity for each other – a poisonous snake, a terrifying tyrant, a pestilence on the cultivation world that constantly tested Qinghe Nie’s borders and tried to lure away its affiliated sects, all the while smiling and denying that it was doing any such thing.

The man who had once chased Nie Mingjue into hiding himself in a brothel, and thereby changed Meng Yao’s life forever.

Meng Yao did not feel especially grateful to him for it. The scene before him suddenly took on new light: Nie Mingjue was no longer merely drunk, leaning on a friendly hand for support and making a nuisance of himself as he did – he was frowning almost as if he were having trouble realizing what was happening, trying to push Wen Ruohan’s hands away but with fingers too weak to put up much resistance, and Wen Ruohan smiling all the while. Meng Yao knew that the brothel had had drugs like that, dizzying intoxicants that sapped the body’s power and the mind’s stability; the owners used them on vulnerable women who tried to resist their offers, knowing that after they had lost their virtue once it would be easier to coax them into giving it away again.

If he’s disgraced, your brother is the heir, something deep inside him whispered, sounding almost like his mother. Lao Nie can’t cast out the mother of his heir, not the way he could a concubine and her shu son, and it’s not as if you have to do anything. You were already in bed, and no one would ever know that you saw anything –

He’d know, though. Wen Ruohan would probably be able to figure it out, too, with his high cultivation, and he could use it against him in the future.

So what? Even if you did see something, what could they expect you to do? It’s not as if you can do anything. Who do you think you are, some whore’s trash son that doesn’t even have a saber yet? You’d never be able to stop the mighty Sect Leader Wen who strikes fear even into the heart of the likes of Lao Nie. Better to just let it happen…

Nie Mingjue made a small sound, a tiny whimper that was barely audible and soon muffled by the fingers Wen Ruohan put on his tongue; the older man had pressed him against the wall, a leg pushed in between Nie Mingjue’s thighs, Nie Mingjue’s weak attempts to push him away translating as little more than gentle tugs on his robes. Using his body to keep Nie Mingjue pinned in place, Wen Ruohan’s free hand slipped down –

Meng Yao gritted his teeth and went away.

The kitchens still had lanterns lit, and skewers to carry a flame from one place to another – it hurt Meng Yao deeply to set fire to a store of rice, knowing it would have been enough to feed him and his mother for an entire season without going hungry, but it didn’t hurt as much as the thought of a future in which all those slandering tongues treated Nie Mingjue as if he’d never been anything better than Wen Ruohan’s whore.

“Fire!” he shouted once it has spread enough to be a threat. “Fire!”

One of the kitchen servants rushed in and saw, immediately joining his cry to Meng Yao’s, and soon enough everyone was rushing around frantically, more and more people drawn over by the noise. In the frenzy, Meng Yao slipped out and with a strong pinch made his eyes fill with tears.

“Da-ge!” he cried, throwing himself into Nie Mingjue’s arms the second he saw him – Wen Ruohan would never have feared discovery by a single person, easily discredited, but when all the sect leaders in the main hall had started coming over to see what was happening he had had no choice but to step away. “Da-ge, I went to get some snacks for Huaisang and there was a fire!”

Even drugged and assaulted, Nie Mingjue’s first instinct was to comfort; he awkwardly patted Meng Yao’s shoulders and back, slurring out an “it’s okay, Meng Yao” that barely sounded anything like it.

Meng Yao pulled back away from him and allowed disgust to twist his face, all the disgust and disdain and hatred that had been churning in his gut the entire evening – how dare they all judge him, those sect leaders who’d never known a day of hardship in their lives, how dare they say things about his mother, as if they knew anything about her simply because of the role she was forced to play…

“Meng Yao, is it?” Wen Ruohan said, and Meng Yao widened his eyes in a burst of panic as if he hadn’t realized anyone was there, hadn’t intended for the feelings on his face to be seen by anyone.

“Sect Leader Wen!” he said. “Forgive me, I didn’t see you there – please forgive my shixiong, I don’t know how he’s managed to get this drunk, to shame himself like this…”

“Think nothing of it. He’s still young, after all,” Wen Ruohan said generously, as if he had nothing to do with it. “You’re – the ward, yes? The concubine’s son?”

Meng Yao nodded, putting his best version of a coward’s smile on his face – the one that was gentle, the way he preferred to be, but with shades of weakness that brought out disdain and condescension in stronger men. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother you any longer, Sect Leader,” he said sweetly, making it obvious that he was trying to pander. “I know you’re far too busy to be dealing with the stupidity of youth…”

Stupid, rather than foolish – meaning he thought that this reflected a judgment on Nie Mingjue’s character, rather than a momentary lapse. A cruel thing for a shidi to say, and to say that to a stranger, to Qinghe’s rival, was positively unpolitic; it would absolutely be a loss of face if it was called out.

But when such obvious weakness was displayed before a predator, it could also be seen as something else: an opportunity.

Wen Ruohan looked intrigued, as Meng Yao had hoped he would be – what would-be conqueror didn’t like the idea of recruiting a spy in another sect’s camp, especially one so highly placed? Especially one placed so near to something he wanted.

With a glance at the crowd that was growing rather than shrinking, he made his decision.

“Take him back to bed,” he told Meng Yao, who nodded eagerly. “And come see me tomorrow – you seem like a bright boy.”

“Of course!” Meng Yao chirped, looking as if he were overwhelmed by the extremity of Wen Ruohan’s favor, as if he could be bought with some pretty words and a little bit of resentment. He’d go, too, the next morning when the Unclean Realm was bustling with servants and a single shout could bring them running; he’d play up his young age, greedily gobble up the treats Wen Ruohan was sure to set out, and complain about how no one respected him, how everyone sneered at him, Jin Guangshan’s bastard – he’d whisper his fears about how Lao Nie would react – he’d puff himself up when Wen Ruohan inevitably flattered him.

It’d be easy enough to convince Wen Ruohan that he was weak, conniving, and greedy, the sort of person could be easily bought. The sort of person who would be happy to help a stranger sneak into his brother’s bed just to make himself feel better about being born the son of a whore.

If Wen Ruohan believed that that was who he was, what he was like, he would try to use Meng Yao to achieve his aims next time, and that would in turn mean that Meng Yao would be properly position next time to stop him – by accident, of course, or while trying to help him avoid notice, or whatever. Men like Wen Ruohan never really paid attention to their pawns after the initial coaxing period: once they considered someone to be theirs, once they’d judged someone too afraid to ever betray them, they got lazy and put down their wariness.

Meng Yao had met plenty such people in the brothel.

He carted Nie Mingjue off to bed – his bed, not Nie Mingjue’s, to reduce the danger – and Nie Huaisang (who was woken up by all the fuss) didn’t even notice the absence of the snack he’d been promised when it meant that he could sleep the rest of the night between his two brothers, his favorite place in the world to be.

He slept, and Nie Mingjue slept, and on the cold edge of his side of the bed, Meng Yao spent the rest of the night planning how to convince Lao Nie to let him and his mother stay. He had to stay, because if he left, if he left and Nie Mingjue had no one by his side, no one but Nie Huaisang who was too young –

Meng Yao didn’t know how long his da-ge’s carefree generosity could last in this cruel world, but he was determined to find out.

In the morning, as he’d hoped and feared, Nie Mingjue woke with no memory of the events of the night before.

It was good, because it meant that Meng Yao didn’t have to explain; bad, because who knew whether Wen Ruohan had tried a similar trick before with more success. The thought left a bitter taste in Meng Yao’s mouth, and it spilled from his mouth like poison when Nie Mingjue tried to ask him how he was feeling – “Don’t you know what they’re saying about me? All of them – my father.”

Nie Mingjue fell silent. “Meng Yao…”

“What? Can you stop their tongues? No one can change the facts of their birth, and yet I’m the one who keeps having to pay for it.”

“Meng Yao,” Nie Mingjue said, and his eyes were hurting. Good – let him hurt, let him feel one iota of what Meng Yao had always suffered, let him – “If I could make your father love you, I would.”

Meng Yao’s breath caught in his throat.

“If I could force him to honor you,” Nie Mingjue continued, voice solemn. “I would send you with him gladly, although I would miss you very much. I know it doesn’t mean anything just for me to say it, but…I would.”

It did, though. It meant quite a lot to know that the hurt in Nie Mingjue’s eyes had been for him, not from him. To know that he had heard all the stories, all the whispers, and in the end his only priority had been to think of how Meng Yao might feel.

To be angry, because Meng Yao wasn’t getting something he though Meng Yao should.

No, Meng Yao decided – no matter who he had to fight, whether Wen Ruohan or his own mother, he would find a way to stay by Nie Mingjue’s side.

(That was when he realized that he’d messed up his mother’s instructions even more than he’d meant, because he was never supposed to be the one that fell in love.)

[veliseraptor]

The Hand That Feeds | The Untamed

Summary:

Apparently when it came down to it, a rich important man could still do what he wanted to him and he couldn’t stop it. Jin Guangshan makes Xue Yang an offer he really, really can't refuse.

Notes:

Content warning for rape. It's in the tags but I'm putting it here too.

look this was just titled "shamefic" in my documents folder and I was never going to post it anywhere public but apparently I don't have that kind of willpower, or something. so here it is! and that's all I'm going to say about it. other than to thank the usual suspect for her astonishing patience and the other usual suspect for enabling me writing this thing in the first place. the real mvps.

[drwcn]

《Without Envy》 Storyboard 14

harem au. prince!lwj x concubine/sleeper agent!wwx Masterlist is here

After the brothel incident, WWX settles into a comfortable home life with LWJ now that Jin Ziyan is no longer a problem. Surprisingly Duke Jin Guangshan does not speak up for his nephew. In fact, he is secretly mad at Jin Ziyan for going against Wei Wuxian. Jin Guangshan is in league with Wen Ruohan and plots to betray Gusu. He knows Wei Wuxian is Wen Ruohan's man and does not wish Wei Wuxian to leave Hanguang Manor.

Without Jin Ziyan, Jiang Yanli is elevated into the rank of ce-wangfei (deputy consort) and given the right to manage the princely household. Everyone says if she gives birth to a boy then she will for sure become princess consort. Wei Wuxian is very happy for his foster sister, even though Lan Wangji feels guilty that the most likely scenario now is that he will only be permitted to install Wei Ying as his deputy consort if Jiang Yanli is princess consort, but Wei Ying laughs it off and says he genuinely does not care. He's a servant, being a deputy consort is already way above his station and way too much work.

Months later, Jiang Yanli gives birth to a healthy boy, which Lan Wangji names Lan Yuan.

— WWX bouncing baby A-Yuan: So cute, so chonky, so plump what a good boy, beautiful boy, perfect boy!! — JYL: 😊 Thank you A-Xian, I made him. Dianxia contributed, of course. — WWX: Zhangjie, I wanna make one too, if our dianxia is willing to contribute. — LWJ *straight faced*: I contribute daily. — JYL: ... 😅😅😅 okay there, that's enough information. ~~~ — WWX rocking A-Yuan in his crib: *sighs* — LWJ looking over WWX's shoulder, terribly pleased with yet another successfully made baby (internally: *damn I make them perfect*): What's wrong? — WWX stroking a-yuan's chubby cheek with one finger: How come you can't put a baby in me, Lan Zhan? — LWJ: .............. *srsly wondering did no one teach this shameless little bottom the birds and the bees, but decides to hell with it, and grabs him around the middle, already working at loosing his belt* I have three sons, but I'm still short of daughters, perhaps Wei Ying would like to share the burden? — WWX: Promise? ;) XY somewhere yonder * my wwx's bs sensors are tingling*

In the interim, Wei Wuxian discovers information about Yiling City's defenses through Lan Wangji and steals it for Wen Ruohan. This information is delivered via Xue Yang. Yiling has been a city of contention between Gusu and Qishan for many generations. In the last dispute, Gusu had won Yiling from Qishan, which they now want to retake.

At the same time, Lan Qiren quietly conducts his own investigation into Wei Wuxian since becoming suspicious of him after the brothel incident. The pastry shop which has been a front for Wen spies is called into question. The store owner is arrested; Xue Yang disappears, and Wei Wuxian is summoned into the palace for questioning. Lan Wangji does not understand why Wei Ying would be summoned so suddenly for questioning when things have been smooth for many months now.

Wei Wuxian is on his way to Lan Qiren when suddenly, urgent missive from the borderland is delivered into the palace and causes great upset. Wen Ruohan has finally launched his attack. His campaign comes without warning and is brutal and swift. Within half a day, the city of Yiling is ransacked and occupied. No longer the most pressing matter, Wei Ying is sent back to Hanguang-fu without interrogation. On his way back to the princely manor, he sees out the carriage window that the pastry shop he frequents has been seized and closed by the magistrate. He realizes immediately that his cover is at risk and that Lan Qiren may have summoned him to the palace for interrogation. Such being the case, it must mean they don't have enough proof. Still, his position has become precarious.

Wei Wuxian by now understands that he alone had given Wen Ruohan the means to overtake Yiling so quickly and therefore responsible for the hundreds and thousands of deaths that happened. At the entrance of the manor, Wei Wuxian is stopped by the sight of a beggar huddled by the side of the road. The beggar is disheveled but is wearing a ragged hat that has an almost unnoticeable plum blossom stitched along the edge. Pretending to offer the beggar money, Wei Wuxian crouches by the man, allowing a secret message to be passed between them. The beggar thanks him for his generosity and limps off into the busy streets of the capital. The missive contains very specific instructions that chill Wei Wuxian to the bone: your old reporting station is discovered, end all communications; the war is nigh; terminate Lan Wangji posthaste and return to Nevernight.

WWX returns to Hanguang-fu feeling numb, only to find that Lan Wangji has entered the palace after being summoned urgently. The rest of the manor is confused as to what could be the reason since they were not told what has happened. Wei Wuxian realizes that news of the war has not been publicized and does not reveal what he knows to others in the harem. He asks Jiang Yanli to help him prepare dinner for Lan Wangji when he returns, as he will likely to be hungry, and that Wei Wuxian himself would like to prepare most of the meal.

Wei Wuxian knows that in a head on fight, Lan Wangji and himself are evenly matched. To kill him, he needs to catch Lan Wangji off guard. The food is laced with a mild sedative that will put Lan Wangji to sleep. After dark, Wei Wuxian will take his life.

Lan Wangji arrives home with the grave new of Qishan's attack. Everyone is shocked and horrified, including Wei Wuxian who puts on an admirable act. Understandably, Lan Wangji is more sullen than usual, and after plying him with some tea and congee, Wei Wuxian suggests that Lan Wangji rests for the night. Lan Wangji falls a sleep in his arms and Wei Wuxian makes up his mind:

I should kill him now, nice and swift, so he may never know how much I have lied to him. How much I will still betray him.

WWX holds his dagger over LWJ's throat and he just... Do it, you fucking coward! Kill him! ... can't.

All along, Xue Yang was right and Wei Wuxian has just been lying to himself.

- All jokes aside, shixiong, be careful. You're falling for your mark. - I am not falling for my mark. - Oh really? So it's all manipulation? You're not making sweet love to your darling prince every night?

As if taking Lan Wangji to bed was the start of his problem...Wei Wuxian had fallen for him long before that.

So, because there is no way out, Wei Wuxian gets up, puts on his black robes, picks up Suibian and leaves.

He can't complete his mission - he's failed Wen Ruohan. He can't stay to face his mistakes or correct the wrongs - he's betrayed Lan Wangji. He is both ashamed of himself for the destruction he's caused and frustrated that he doesn't have the guts to see it through. The night is dark and curfew has long since passed. The streets of the capital are empty and still, and he is a swift lonesome figure. Suddenly, he feels the wind shift behind him, and a voice calls out, "Leaving so soon?"

Wei Wuxian spins around, sword drawn.

"Lian... Lianfang-jun?"

Meng Yao stands before him dressed in a smart, narrowed-sleeved outfit, all pretenses from his day-time garbs gone. "We've been watching you for a while now, Wei Wuxian. You did not disappoint."

"We?"

"Heya."

Wei Wuxian turns back the other way and exclaims in utter disbelief: "Xue Yang?? You work for Gusu?!"

Xue Yang scoffs, "Bitch please, I don't work for anyone. I was just sick and tired of Wen Ruohan's bullshit."

Meng Yao lays it out plainly for him. "For years now Wen Ruohan has been sending spies amongst our ranks. I've been steadily investigating and keeping tracks. If we are to uproot them, we must be thorough. I discovered your identities some times ago, but I kept quiet. Xue Yang may be a rat bastard " - hey! - "but you, you're different."

Wei Wuxian stands his ground. "You're right. I am different. I am not Xue Yang, and I won't work for Gusu. Qishan took me in and raised me. I owe Wen Ruohan my life. If you won't let me leave, you'll have to let me die."

Meng Yao chuckles, "Yes, Qishan did take you in. But do you remember Dafan Mountain, Wei Wuxian? It's greenery, its waters, its people?"

Wei Wuxian frowns. "What of it?"

Meng Yao tsks, "What? The honourable man forgetting who truly saved his life?"

"He was a child," a third voice joins in. "It's not strange that he does not remember."

And from the shadows comes forth a figure shrouded in a heavy cloak. The voice belies a woman, and as she turns, the light of the moon casts serendipitously onto her stoic face. It is not a face that Wei Wuxian immediately recognizes, but those eyes, always too serious for her delicate features… he remembers those eyes.

"Wen Qing…"

~~~

It turns out Wei Wuxian has been under suspicion for longer than he ever anticipated, and it turns out Meng Yao is more of a mastermind than anyone ever gave him credit for. He has his motives, and Wen Qing has her own. She is her father's ambassador to Gusu and together the goal is to dispose of Wen Ruohan and instigate peaceful reign under Wen Qing's father. Even Xue Yang jumps in at some point, casually throwing out: c'mon, shixiong, even you have to admit, Wen Ruohan is crazy.

Shut up Xue Yang, as you if you can talk. How many people have you killed? Does your daozhang know?

Xiao Xingchen has nothing to do with this and you will keep him out of it!

Wei Wuxian, "I will help stop the war, but you have to promise me, you won't take Wen Ruohan's life. I owe him everything I am today."

Wen Qing, "He is my family. My father will treat him with kindness. There are more people in court against this war than you know. Wen Ruohan holds all the military power, so few dare to speak against him. However, once it is clear that his victory is not assured, it will be easier to call his fitness to rule into question."

Wei Wuxian clutches Suibian anxiously. "What will you have me do?"

Meng Yao gives him a half smile, wary. "I’m afraid you're not going to like my answer. Come with me."

Meng Yao leads Wei Wuxian to a secluded residence. It looks like a normal city home. There is candlelight still burning despite the late hours.

Wei Wuxian enters it trepidatiously, wondering if Meng Yao is leading him into a trap.

"Jiang-shushu?! Taishi?!"

Inside, Jiang Fengmian and Lan Qiren sit together sipping on midnight tea.

Lan Qiren nods at Meng Yao approvingly. "A-Yao."

Meng Yao bows, "Huangshu."

Wei Wuxian falls to his knees. "Jiang-shushu, I swear I never thought to harm the Jiang family -"

Jiang Fengmian sighs, "All of that is inconsequential now. What is important is the actions you take to correct your mistakes."

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. "I will not kill Wen Ruohan."

"And we're not asking you to. We do, however, need a man closest to him." Lan Qiren interjects. "A-Yao has spies but none of them have been able to get to the nucleus of his power."

Wei Wuxian's stomach drops. No... "You want me to spy for you?"

"Well it is what you're trained for, isn't it? You're rather good at it." Meng Yao tilts his head.

"Wen Ruohan will never believe me if I just return to QIshan like this."

"No naturally not. Your 'cover' will be revealed. Tomorrow, I will lead soldiers to Hanguang-fu for your arrest. You'll fight your way out. Those men will not know this is a ruse, they will give you a real fight, and in turn, you will kill anyone who stands in your way."

Wei Wuxian hesitates. "Those are Gusu's men, Gusu's soldiers. You would..."

"I would." Meng Yao's voice is hard. "Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Their families will be cared for and generously compensated, but their sacrifice will allow all of Gusu to survive. This is why when the war is over, you must disappear. Wei Wuxian will cease to exist. Your actions today and from this day forth will leave no traces in the history books. No one shall ever know of Dafan Wen and Gusu's alliance. For there to be peace, Dafan-fanwang's claim to Qishan's throne must not be tainted by usurpation nor collusion with outside forces. Similarly, I do not want Xichen's rule to be besmirched by the things I am forced to do to protect his throne."

"So I'm just...the scapegoat?"

"Not if you disappear. Before Nevernight is seized, I will send you a warning, and you must extract yourself from the city in a timely manner. If you do not, you will certainly be executed for your crimes."

Wei Wuxian sits back onto his heels, like a thousand stones in his heart weighing him down. "And... Lan Zhan?"

Lan Qiren twitches at his nephew's name.

But Meng Yao's sharp, fox-like eyes soften incrementally. "For this plan to work, the less people that know of your real mission the better. Eventually... I will tell him the truth, but to tell him the truth would be the whole truth."

"I understand. I never expected him to forgive me anyway."

Wei Wuxian returns to Hangung-fu and get back in bed to an obliviously drugged Lan Wangji. He holds him tight, kisses his hair, and cries the rest of the night.

The next day, right at the scheduled time, Wei Wuxian is sitting in the garden with Lan Wangji, Jiang Yanli and A-Yuan when the officers of the magistrate and the imperial guards come to arrest Wei Wuxian. [Detailed snippet here]

Wei Wuxian wounds and kills many of the officers and imperial guards and flees from Hanguang-fu with Lan Wangji hot on his tail. As planned, Wei Wuxian fires an arrow which directly hits Lan Wangji in the chest, throwing him off his horse. It is not a lethal wound, but looks hella nasty.

At the same time, Jiang Fengmian informs his son Jiang Cheng that "Wei Wuxian is a Qishan spy." Furious and hurt Jiang Cheng joins in the chase party. This all culminates in a show down where Wei Wuxian is seen "tossing" Jiang Cheng down the side of a cliff before escaping. A mangled corpse is found in Jiang Cheng's clothing and the young general is declared dead. The royal court sighs: it seems Wei Wuxian had deceived all of them, from the Jiangs who took him in, and to the prince who loved him. What an atrocious monster this Wei Wuxian is indeed.

"I don't believe it," confesses Jiang Yanli to Qin Su and Luo Qingyang as the three of them stand by Lan Wangji's sick bed.

Mianmian has taken to wearing armour on the daily now, since Lan Wangji has been incapacitated. Someone has to protect us, and I'm not leaving it to chance. Indeed her Jingyi and Qin Su's Kaisong are three years old, and A-Yuan no more than a month.

"Yanli, I know he and you had been close as brother and sister, but that Wei Wuxian was a spy! He did...heavens knows what he did, but look at our husband now. Dianxia would not be like so if it weren't for him." Qin Su tries to reason with her.

Jiang Yanli merely shakes her head. "Wangye is alive, that is enough proof for me."

Mianmian catches on quickly. "You mean..."

"I do. Spy or not, A-Xian loves our dianxia, because if he doesn't, that arrow would have been through the head."

Wei Wuxian returns to Qishan and his story is believed. Though his attempted assassination was unsuccess, Wen Ruohan does not punishment him due to the many successes his spying had helped Qishan to have. To test his loyalty however, Wen Ruohan requests Wei Wuxian "serve" him the way he "served" Lan Wangji [detailed snippet here]. Wei Wuxian, trained and hardened, plays his part to perfection. If initially it is meant to be a test, then perhaps the emperor of Qishan discovers some unexpected sadistic satisfaction through the process, for he keeps the young man in his bed for the rest of the night. The next morning, Wei Wuxian extracts himself from his new mark's slumbering form to call for some water and towels. A maid with a bowed head approaches him and whispers: "A-Qing greets Wei-gongzi. Is Chenqing well?"

Chenqing is Wei Wuxian's code name that Meng Yao has set up for him. Wei Wuxian realizes immediately that this A-Qing is one of Meng Yao's little spies. "Chenqing is well," Wei Wuxian whispers back. Then in a louder voice, he orders, "Prepare water and towels, bixia and myself require baths." A-Qing becomes Wei Wuxian's primary line of communication to Gusu.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng wakes up in an unfamiliar place and is greeted by Nie Huaisang - Jiang-xiong is awake! - Meng Yao, and to his utter shock a blind Nie Mingjue.

Meng Yao is only a little apologetic. "I suppose your father should have warned you, but we wanted the act to be believable, and frankly, Jiang-xiao-jiangjun, you are not an accomplished liar."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about, Jiang-xiao-jiangjun, is we better catch you up to speed. Welcome to the Sunshot Campaign.

[thebiscuiteternal]

For the writing jam: AU where Nie Huaisang, Jiang Cheng, and Meng Yao become sworn brothers?

Okay so I started putting way too much thought into this (to no one's surprise), so you get concept notes.

Mixed adaptation, but leaning more towards CQL-verse, for starters, so that Nie Huaisang and Meng Yao already know each other. When Meng Yao is exiled, Nie Huaisang is desperate to do something to help him, so he quickly writes a letter to Jiang Cheng and tells Meng Yao to deliver it to Lotus Pier, without giving his real name. Meng Yao is extremely dubious about this, but he agrees to do so.

However, the more he thinks about it on the way, the more curious he gets. It's not exactly snooping, since Nie Huaisang didn't even bother to seal the letter...

The contents are a quick note full of praise for his abilities and work ethic. There's no mention of his having been exiled, just that it was necessary to send him to another sect, and that it would be best to hide his identity from Yu-furen because of her close friendship with Jin-furen.

...Hm. Despite his self-preservation instincts insisting he should throw the letter away and make himself scarce, he can't help but want to see where this might lead.

He winds up in Lotus Pier in the days just after Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rescued from the Xuanwu Cave. Now highly suspicious of the Wens and still smarting from his parents' last fight, Jiang Cheng asks him if he knows anything about being a spy.

Well, then.

He manages to give three extra days' advance warning of what Wen Chao has planned, for all the good it does. Things don't go much differently from canon, other than he is there to intercept the boat and help hide Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and Wei Wuxian.

While scouting the possible safe paths to Meishan Yu, he finds an injured Lan Xichen and brings him into the fold as well (how the hell has he ended up babysitting two traumatized sect heirs now??? he frequently wonders), along with a handful of Jiang disciples who weren't present for the attack.

Because no one's looking for him, he's the one who goes into town, preventing Wei Wuxian's near-capture and Jiang Cheng's actual capture. Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian is later grabbed by the Wens when they split up to search for any other disciples who might have survived, and still ends up in the Burial Mounds because luck was not on his side.

When they join the battlefront, he and Jiang Cheng find Nie Huaisang working in the infirmary and kitchen tents (and secretly passing information and strategy where necessary).

And... that's where I kind of fizzled out. I think in this case, Meng Yao would actually volunteer to be sent into Nightless City, and while Jiang Cheng is loath to lose his best spy, he agrees that Meng Yao is the best spy for this. And because he has a greater support network here in the form of the Jiang sibs and Nie Huaisang along with Lan Xichen, he's less inclined to spitefully use Nie Mingjue as a game piece because he doesn't want to risk all their good graces.

Jin Guangshan still tries to poach him after he becomes a war hero, and that's when sworn brotherhood is suggested. It puts Nie support behind the Jiang, making them somewhat less beholden to the Jin, and significantly elevates Meng Yao's position. And even if he does accept the offer to join the Jin sect, he now has much less reason to go along with his father's plotting, because he's emotionally bound to the sect that will be hurt the most.

[cqlfeels]

@lansplaining encouraged me to finish this random meta nobody asked for, so let's talk about Meng Yao, Meng Shi, and 孟母三遷 (mèng mǔ sān qiān), a proverb about good parenting.

A warning: this is super long (even for me!) and is less quality meta and more my ADHD brain jumping around a maze of loosely related ideas. Proceed with caution!

Let me start by briefly going through why I decided to write this, because it’s important. In haunting Meng Shi’s tag in my starvation for Meng Shi content, I’ve multiple times come across the idea that Meng Shi pushed Meng Yao too hard, that she should’ve been more careful with teaching him to seek his father’s approval at any cost, and that she was too naïve. I’ve never reblogged this kind of post because 1) I personally think it’s rude to go out of your way to ramble about how much you disagree with someone on their own post and 2) if this was an isolated incident I wouldn't care either way, so I didn’t want to direct this rant at anyone in particular. It’s more to do with a tendency, primarily (as far as I can tell) from fans who haven’t had much contact with Chinese culture, to oversimplify Meng Shi and make her relationship with Meng Yao slightly disturbing, and I think part of it is due to CQL basically cutting out her entire storyline (so fans simply don’t have info about her to assess her fairly) and part is due to misunderstanding what a good parent is supposed to act like in the context of Ancient China.

[Of course, Ancient China is not a very useful historical concept, not any more than “ye olde Europe” - things change a lot based on time and place - but you know. It’s fantasy. Extremely broad trends are okay in this case.]

Anyway, the idea behind the posts I mentioned is, basically, that Meng Shi (usually through no fault of her own) is to blame for Meng Yao’s obsession with power, since his desire for approval was inherited from lessons she taught him. Just to start with, I’d argue that Meng Yao isn’t power-hungry as much as he craves security and respect, but that’s a different meta. Let’s assume that she really did teach him to be Like That. Was she wrong to do so? I’m not looking for “does that make for a happy, well-adjusted childhood?” or “would you raise your own son as Meng Shi did?” - I’m trying to figure out, would she have been considered a bad mother in the context of the society she lived in? I don’t think she would’ve.

It is surprisingly hard to find texts about the obligations of parents in Ancient China. Their main obligation is to raise filial children, but I feel like that’s not very useful: whether or not parents are good parents, children are expected to be filial, so a child being filial really says more about the child than about the parent. Maybe the parent completely missed the mark and society at large was what taught the child to be filial!

We can assume, of course, that parents were to raise good people, and that by learning what a good person looked like, we could figure out whether the parent was successful, but once again, I feel like that’s pinning things on the outcome, not on the process - the best of parents can end up with an awful kid and vice versa.

While thinking about all this, it took me a frankly embarrassing amount of time to remember the story of Mother Meng and Meng Zi, but once I did, it wouldn’t leave my mind - in part because the Meng here is the exact same Meng of Meng Shi and Meng Yao (yay! fun if useless parallel!), and in part because this is a story about how a woman can successfully raise a son by herself.

Okay, so important note: one of the most influential ancient Chinese thinkers is Meng Zi (孟子 Mèng Zǐ), who is known in the West as Mencius. If you've never heard of him - he's perhaps second in importance only to Confucius. When Mencius was still a young child, his father died, so he was raised by his mother, who is usually known only as Mother Meng (in Chinese, 孟母 Mèng Mǔ.)

Mother Meng's story is told in Biographies of Exemplary Women (列女傳 Liènǚ Zhuàn), which for around 2000 years beginning around the 18th century BCE, was the most commonly used book used to educate women. The book is divided into sections, each one showing a different way women could be honorable and good. Mother Meng's story is told in the Maternal Models section (母儀傳 Mǔ Yí Zhuàn.) The story has a few parts, some of which I'll quote, always from Kinney's 2014 translation.

Before I go on to quote it, though, I'd like to establish that Mother Meng's story is so, so famous that even if Meng Shi had never read this particular book, I'm almost certain she would've been familiar with at least the outlines of Mother Meng's story. I'm not cherry picking a suitable chapter from the book, I'm literally going with the most famous story in it because Meng Shi would be most likely to know this one if she knew no other story.

Okay, the first part of the tale takes place when Mencius is a young boy and Mother Meng is a widow raising him.

The mother of Meng Ke of Zou [a different name for Mencius] was called Mother Meng. She lived near a graveyard. During Mencius’ youth, he enjoyed playing among the tombs, romping about pretending to prepare the ground for burials. Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son.” She therefore moved away and settled beside the marketplace. But there he liked to play at displaying and selling wares like a merchant. Again Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son,” and once more left and settled beside a school. There, however, he played at setting out sacrificial vessels, bowing, yielding, entering, and withdrawing. His mother said, “This, indeed, is where I can raise my son!” and settled there. When Mencius grew up, he studied the Six Arts, and finally became known as a great classicist. A man of discernment would say, “Mother Meng was good at gradual transformation.”

According to the translator's footnote, "gradual transformation" is "a childrearing technique, whereby a child is morally formed through daily exposure to correct models of behavior."

From this story comes the proverb 孟母三遷 (Mèng Mǔ sān qiān) - "Mother Meng moved three times." It's come to mean that a parent - especially the mother of a male child - should spare no efforts to provide an environment that will give their child a good education, paying particular attention to what models are surrounding them.

I'm sure I don't need to say if Meng Shi was at all familiar with this proverb (and she would probably be), she must have been very stressed out over literally raising her son in a brothel. (Here I must mention sex workers in ancient China were often essentially owned by the brothels, so literally "moving three times" wasn't really an option for Meng Shi even if she could miraculously pick up another trade.) Meng Shi did however at least try to surround Meng Yao with the accomplishments appropriate for the son of a cultivator:

Xiao-Meng, are you still learning those things lately? [...] The things your mom wants you to learn, things like calligraphy, etiquette, swordsmanship, meditation… How are those things going? [...] His mom’s raising him as a young master of a wealthy family. She taught him how to read and write, bought him all those swordsmanship pamphlets, and even wants to send him to school.

Meng Yao actually talks a little bit about “those swordsmanship pamphlets” in the only time in canon he directly shares memories about this mother:

Lan XiChen, “Your [guqin] skills are also considered quite fine outside of Gusu. Were they taught by your mother?”

Jin GuangYao, “No. I taught myself by watching others. She never taught me such things. She only taught me reading and writing, and bought a handful of expensive sword and cultivation guides for me to practice.”

Lan XiChen seemed surprised, “Sword and cultivation guides?”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, you haven’t seen them before, have you? Those small booklets sold by the common folk. First jumbled sketches of human figures, then deliberately mystified captions.”

Lan XiChen shook his head, smiling. Jin GuangYao shook his head as well, “All of them are scams, especially to fool women like my mother and ignorant children. You won’t lose anything by practicing them, but you definitely won’t gain anything either.”

He sighed in a rueful way, “But how could my mother have known this? She bought them no matter how expensive they were, saying that if I returned to see my father in the future, I had to see him with as much competence as possible so that I don’t fall behind. All of the money was spent on this.”

See what’s happening? Meng Shi cannot physically take Meng Yao to cultivators, but she spares no efforts in giving him the closest thing she possibly can -- figuratively, we might say she moved three times.

Of course, these booklets don’t work, but as Meng Yao says, how could she have known this? The cultivation world is very closed off - think of how the entire Mo household gathers to see Lan juniors, and how Wei Wuxian mentions once that “Cultivation families, in the eyes of common folk, are like people favored by God, mysterious yet noble.” Not just noble, but mysterious. That tracks, too - I mean, they live in inaccessible households and mostly leave to night hunt or visit each other, neither of which is an activity that would allow commoners to get much more than an occasional glimpse of them.

Now, if Meng Shi doesn’t even know that a pearl for Jin Guangshan was just a trinket, if she doesn’t know even the wealth of a major sect, how can she read booklets and decide whether that’s genuine cultivation or not? All that she sees is a chance for Meng Yao to be surrounded by the ideas and skills of the people she wants him to emulate - cultivators - and therefore she does everything she can to get him that chance. Mother Meng moved three times.

Okay, but maybe the argument is not “Meng Shi shouldn’t have pushed Meng Yao to cultivation” but rather “she should’ve pushed him, just not too hard." To that, I present another tale from Mencius' childhood:

Once, when Mencius was young, he returned home after finishing his lessons and found his mother spinning. She asked him, “How far did you get in your studies today?” Mencius replied, “I’m in about the same place as I was before.” Mother Meng thereupon took up a knife and cut her weaving. Mencius was alarmed and asked her to explain. Mother Meng said, “Your abandoning your study is like my cutting this weaving. A man of discernment studies in order to establish a name and inquires to become broadly knowledgeable. By this means, when he is at rest, he can maintain tranquility and when he is active, he can keep trouble at a distance. If now you abandon your studies, you will not escape a life of menial servitude and will lack the means to keep yourself from misfortune. How is this different from weaving and spinning to eat? If one abandons these tasks midway, how can one clothe one’s husband and child and avoid being perpetually short of food? If a woman abandons that with which she nourishes others and a man is careless about cultivating his virtue, if they don’t become brigands or thieves, then they will end up as slaves or servants.” Mencius was afraid. Morning and evening he studied hard without ceasing. He served Zisi [a great scholar whose grandfather was Confucius] as his teacher and then became one of the most renowned classicists in the world.

Notice that Mother Meng moved three times to ensure Mencius would have the highest of aspirations - to become a scholar. But just aspiration isn’t enough. Not by any means. Now that Mencius is actually studying, Mother Meng is willing to take an extreme action to ensure he's taking it seriously. Mencius doesn't have a father to smooth his path to success. He has to learn that aspiring to greatness isn't enough. He'll have to put in the effort as if his life depended on it. And if he doesn't persist in his hard work, everything he's done thus far will be useless. Sounds like a lesson imparted on young Meng Yao, doesn’t it?

A lot of fandom rage towards Meng Shi would apply to China's Best Mom Contender, Mother Meng. She gives her son big dreams, and teaches him how to go about achieving them in a society where failing is easier than succeeding. Yes, it's fair to say that Meng Shi taught Meng Yao to refuse to settle for anything less than being “Jin Guangshan's son, a respected cultivator.” Yes, it's also fair to say that she probably didn't allow him much time to play like children his age did. But unfortunately, in the world of MDZS, poor children probably wouldn't get to play anyhow, the difference is that they'd usually be working, not studying. Studying is a privilege! It’s a privilege Meng Yao could not afford but was given to him anyway, through his mother’s many sacrifices. We can even say that while she was alive, Meng Shi was trying to ensure Meng Yao would one day have a better life, at the expense of a fun childhood - and that's very Mother Meng of her, whatever our modern Western sensibilities might have to say about that.

Finally, I’d skip other tales (which show Mother Meng and an adult Mencius) and go straight to the poem that ends the Mother Meng section:

The mother of Mencius

Was able to teach, transform, judge, and discriminate.

With skill she selected a place to raise her son,

Prompting him to accord with the great principles.

When her son’s studies did not advance,

She cut her weaving to illustrate her point.

Her son then perfected his virtue;

His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.

I’d like to focus on the last verse - “His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.” All that Mother Meng wanted was for Mencius to not completely ruin his life, but he became great. You can so very easily see a parallel with how Meng Shi hoped Meng Yao would be a cultivator but he became Jin Guangyao, Chief Cultivator, styled Lianfang-zun, one of the Three Venerable, hero of the Sunshot Campaign.

Of course you can say “Jin Guangyao did many Very Wrong Things to get there, though!” Which, sure, okay, fair point. How many and how wrong depends on which canon we're discussing, and your own interpretation, but there’s no version of the story in which Jin Guangyao is 100% an innocent child uwu. But blaming that on Meng Shi is just... straight up weird? I don’t see anyone going “If Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted Wei Wuxian, he’d never have dared become Yiling Laozu!” and that’s pretty much the same logic. Would street kid Wei Wuxian have invented a new type of cultivation if he had never been taken in by the Jiang? Probably not, but raising undead armies is very much not something Jiang Fengmian could’ve predicted. In the same way, how could Meng Shi have predicted that teaching her pre-adolescent son “You are the son of a cultivator, act like one and earn your place in society” would’ve ultimately resulted in innocent deaths? How could she predict “You’re not destined to having the same horrible life I did, you can get something better than this” was a bad thing to teach? I quite honestly don’t know.

Finally, I'd like to point towards a much flimsier evidence that Meng Shi did great as a parent. And that is Meng Yao’s love. Nie Huaisang at some point comments Meng Shi is someone who Meng Yao "cherishes more than his life," and I think his assessment is correct.

Even putting aside the fact he built a whole temple to get his mother to reincarnate into a better life, and even putting aside how he refuses to flee the country without her remains, there's still crystal clear evidence that Meng Shi must've done something right. Because a lifetime of people using his mother to bully him doesn't seem to have made Meng Yao resent her. Had their relationship not have been very strong, odds are he'd feel bitter and/or ashamed of her. That doesn't seem to be the case. He's attached to her even decades after her death.

I want to be very careful with equating mutual affection with good parenting, though. When I was a rather rebellious teenager, my mother (in typical Chinese fashion) used to say that parents and children don't have to love each other as long as they're dutiful to each other, by which she meant that a parent-child relationship isn't informed by warm and fuzzy feelings, but by whether you'd be willing to do anything for each other. Specific to my case, she meant "I don't care if it makes you hate me, you will do as you're told because that's what's best for you." (That may also be the reason why people more familiar with Chinese culture see the Jiang family less as outright abusive and more as #complicated, but that's another meta.)

Whether your kid wants to hug you every time they see you is of no consequence to traditional Chinese thought - raising them to be the best they can is all that matters, because at the end of the day, you won't be around forever, but you can definitely set up your kid's life so that it goes smoothly and virtuously. How that's accomplished varies depending on many factors, but to have the goal be "I want my child to love me" rather than "I want to raise my child right" would've been considered selfish as hell.

So even if all that Meng Shi had given Meng Yao had been stern lessons about the need to go get his birthright, she would've still have been considered a good mother!! In fact, she would've been doing everything she was supposed to do, under extremely difficult conditions! (Remember the importance of environment? That Meng Yao grew up to want to be a cultivator despite having probably never even met one speaks wonders about Meng Shi's childrearing powers!!)

But just based off how over the top Meng Yao's filal dutifulness is, I'd go a step further and say that even as she did the impossible, she was also loving enough to inspire genuine affection. This is complicated because children who have present fathers could expect their mothers to be tender with them. The first century BCE text 禮記 Lǐ Jì or The Classic of Rites says that:

Here now is the affection of a father for his sons - he loves the worthy among them, and places on a lower level those who do not show ability; but that of a mother for them is such, that while she loves the worthy, she pities those who do not show ability - the mother deals with them on the ground of affection and not of showing them honour; the father, on the ground of showing them honour and not of affection.

But when the father figure is lacking for any reason, the mother must abandon her tenderness because someone must guide the child, and without a father, the role falls to the mother. A single or widowed mother had to be very careful to not smother their children with affection and raise useless, spoiled kids, or so it was thought. (The presence of Qingheng-jun and Lan Qiren is why Madame Lan can be so affectionate with the Lan boys, by the way - if she was raising them by herself she would've been expected to be much more practical. AUs where she just gets her kids and runs away could do very cool things with this idea. But I digress!)

Where was I? Oh, okay. Because Meng Yao seems to not just respect, but actively miss her, it seems that Meng Shi somehow managed to deal with her son on the ground of both honor and affection, to paraphrase.

So basically, all things considered, it seems not only would Meng Shi have been considered a great mom (if people could look past her being a prostitute, anyway) but she also went above and beyond the bare minimum. She truly spared no efforts on any front to make sure her son had everything your average gongzi would have - someone to teach him and someone to love him, access to education and confidence in his birthright. That she couldn't actually make him a cultivator, that she couldn't actually raise him in a proper home with no one being cruel to herself or him - that's immaterial. Even Mother Meng couldn't control what her neighbors did, only what she taught her son! The key point is Meng Shi tried. She did everything she could to educate her son right. You couldn't ask more of her, and quite honestly, you should probably be asking less.

Of course we can't err on the other extreme and say she was Perfect. Given MXTX only ever writes flawed characters, we can safely assume that if we'd known more about Meng Shi, we would've seen many flaws. Indeed, just the fact she didn't teach Meng Yao the guqin when he apparently wanted to learn it might point to some conflict we don't know enough to speculate about (maybe she focused too much on cultivation when Meng Yao's interests lay elsewhere? Maybe she wasn't able to sufficiently shelter him and he felt it'd be a burden to ask her to teach him anything? Maybe maybe maybe, go wild with your fics.) Nevertheless, I would never hold a female character to a higher ideal than a male character - if the male cast of MDZS can be a hot mess and still be admirable for what they're trying to do, then so can Meng Shi.

At the end of the day, when I look at Meng Shi - and I've made myself a document with all the references to her in the novel canon so I could easily contemplate her life and character - all I see is a woman every bit as determined and resourceful as her son, willing to do everything it took to raise her little boy into the sophisticated and ambitious man he became.

Finally, here's a fun little parallel that I'm 100% sure was unintentional but I still love. I said Meng Shi couldn't have moved three times. She couldn't, but I think maybe she taught her son he was worth moving three times for. Qinghe Nie. Qishan Wen. Lanling Jin. Isn't that super fun to think about?

Alternatively, tl;dr: Oh My God I Can't Believe We're Blaming Women For The Actions Of Their Adult Children In The Year Of Our Lord 2k21, Meng Shi Was Doing Her Best, Chill!

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 26, part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Content note: This episode has a lot of lightning, but this post does not have lightning flashes--I’m using mostly stills for those parts, or I’ve snipped out the unfriendly frames before giffing.

Qing-Jie

Having successfully ruined Jin Guangshan’s party plan to get the Yin Tiger seal, Wei Wuxian dashes off to tell Wen Qing where her brother is. She hops up to hit the road with him, but then sorta-faints because she’s starving. In a rare moment of tenderness between these two, he catches her and gently sits her down again. 

Normally they’re busy out-toughing each other, both before and after this moment, but right now Wen Qing is openly vulnerable. Wei Wuxian responds to that, predictably, with all of his kindness and with his usual slew of unwise, impossible-to-keep promises.

As she eats the bread he’s brought her--a parallel to an important piece of bread in his early life--he says they have to believe in Wen Ning’s survival. Cut to: Wen Ning, not surviving. 

I mean, yes, yes, he’s only mostly dead, but he’s never going to be fully alive again, so.  

24 Hour Party People

Back at the party, Jin Guangyao, deliberately, I think, goes to offer his pops a drink while his pops is still super furious and looking for someone to take it out on. The servant lady is like, better you than me, pal, and helps JGY get his drink ready. Pops, predictably, knocks the drink onto Jin Guangyao.

(more behind the cut)

Lan Xichen is standing by with a hanky and a face full of worry. Lan Xichen is so Lanny that he thinks JGY needs to go change clothes after getting clear alcohol spilled on him, rather than just letting it evaporate and smelling pleasantly of booze for the rest of the evening like a normal party guest. 

JGY launches into a criticism of Wei Wuxian, which Lan Wangji listens to very carefully, frowning. Lan Xichen, Nie Huasang and Jiang Cheng listen as well, and don’t speak up. 

A Clear Conscience

Then Lan Wangji *literally* steps out of his brother’s shadow, and speaks in defense of Wei Wuxian. This right here is Lan Wangji’s turning point, as far as I’m concerned. Xichen is gazing at JGY, totally on board with JGY’s spin of the situation, and his shadow falls away from Lan Wangji’s face as LWJ steps forward.

Lan Wangji says, isn’t what WWX said true? JGY puts on his customer service smile and says that the truth isn’t something you’re supposed to go around saying out loud. 

I’d like to say this is what’s wrong with cultivator society but this is really a universal human thing; every society has rules about upsetting the social order, and they are very frequently at odds with basic compassion and morality. 

Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng stay silent but Lan Xichen goes and throws Wei Wuxian under the bus carriage, saying his character has changed. 

Lan Wangji nods decisively at this, and bows to Lan Xichen, silently asking permission to follow Wei Wuxian. Lan Xichen grants permission, telling Lan Wangji to do his best. Lan Xichen probably thinks he and Lan Wangji are in agreement, in this moment, but that nod of Lan Wangji’s was nothing of the kind.

That nod was Lan Wangji agreeing with himself; he is going to try to bring Wei Wuxian back but he is also going to listen to him.  Meanwhile Lan Xichen is tying himself in knots to appease Jin Guangyao. The divergence between the brothers will just grow, from this point onwards.

Lan Wangji leaves to go follow his boyfriend conscience, while Jiang Cheng continues to silently listen to the commentary of others, and gets so mad he crushes a wine cup.

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night.

Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian arrive at the prison camp, and the first person they encounter is Granny, with a defaced Wen Banner in her hand and Wen Yuan on her back. 

Whenever I read a meta or a fic that talks about how the juniors are so sweet partly because they are “untouched by the war” I want to point to this moment. A-Yuan endures an absolute truckload of war trauma by the time he’s four years old, and while Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji both deserve a lot of credit for saving him at great risk to themselves, Granny and Uncle Four are the first heroes of A-Yuan’s story. His kind, mellow personality has a lot in common with theirs. 

This is followed by an eternity of Wen Qing running around asking if anyone’s seen her brother. Eventually Wei Wuxian gets tired of this and gathers the guards together, threatening them with Chenqing. 

He doesn’t need to play it; just holding it up has every Jin dude instantly kneeling and scared. 

The guards send him and Wen Qing go to a giant field of corpses, where Wen Qing runs around checking to see if any of them is her brother. Wei Wuxian starts off kind of detached and angry, but eventually snaps out of it, tucks away his flute and starts helping her to search. 

Wen Qing finds Wen Ning, mostly-dead with a lure flag speared into his belly. Wei Wuxian grimly takes in the situation from across the field of corpses. 

When he arrives at Wen Qing’s side he sees this talisman in Wen Ning’s hand. 

This is the talisman that Wei Wuxian made for Wen Ning back in Gusu summer school, before the war. It’s the one that Wen Ning was wearing at his waist when they met up after the massacre of Lotus Pier. It’s supposed to literally protect Wen Ning from having his spiritual consciousness snatched, as well as being a symbol of Wei Wuxian’s sense of responsibility for, and affection for, Wen Ning. 

Wei Wuxian, understandably, loses his shit at this point. Less understandably, he is about to decide that the best way to express his sorrow and rage is to re-animate the corpse of his friend, right in front of the corpse’s sister. Like, seriously, dude. Dude. 

Ghost General

This super-questionable decision leads to one of the most badass sequences in the show, which is unfortunately chock full of lightning flashes, so not everyone can watch it. Wei Wuxian and his flute and swirls of resentful energy come marching out of the darkness of the corpse field, back to the guards. 

The guards have decided to slaughter all of the prisoners and then run away, which would be a good plan except they should really have skipped right to the running away part of things. When Wei Wuxian accuses them of killing the prisoner in the corpse field, they claim that the Wens have a habit of falling off of a hill and dying. Wei Wuxian can relate. 

At this point Wei Wuxian summons up Wen Ning 2.0, ultra badass edition, who comes flying through the air with his odd, straight-armed fighting stance and cool solid-black eyes and rock-and-roll hair. 

Soundtrack: *Four Sticks*

Wen Ning proceeds to whale on the guards and scare the shit out of his relatives.

Then Wen Qing shows up and begs Wei Wuxian to stop. She explains that Wen Ning is only mostly dead. Like, if he was fully dead would she be okay with this? 

Wei Wuxian tries to reel Wen Ning in and realizes that he is not actually in control of Wen Ning. Ok, see, right from the first day of Wen Ning 2.0, WWX is aware that his control is iffy. Why does he think he’s going to be able to control him later? 

Anyway, this is where we learn Wen Ning’s grown-up name is Wen Qionglin. Wei Wuxian yells this name, and Wen Ning looks up like a cat hearing the “food noise,” and then proceeds to get control of himself. 

This is such a nice symbolic moment, that will be replayed later in the temple, when Wen Ning saves Jin Ling from Baxia. 

Wen Ning has a remote-code-execution OS vulnerability throughout the story; his soul is at risk of being stolen, and he is magically controlled by Wei Wuxian, Xue Yang, Su She, and Baxia.  Meanwhile Wen Qing, Wei Wuxian, and random kids on the street mostly treat him as a child, despite his clear adult capabilities. Wen Ning’s journey in The Untamed is at least partly about asserting his full adulthood, and his ability to overcome magical control is directly connected to that journey.  

After getting Wen Ning to chill, Wei Wuxian calls the floating resentful energy back into his own body, which looks about as comfortable as swallowing a burp. 

On the plus side, apparently resentful energy keeps your hair dry even when it’s raining.

Wei Wuxian should take a page from the guards’ book and slaughter all the Jin witnesses to this situation, but he decides to be the better person and let them live. They go running off down the road, where they encounter Lan Wangji and give him the 411, saying that Wei Wuxian resurrected dead people.

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian collects Wen Qing--half-fainted, again, in an echo of the start of their journey--and collects the Dafan Mountain Wen group, who are hiding, wisely. When they see Wen Ning, Uncle Four and some others start to freak out, but Wei Wuxian tells them that fierce corpses are cool, and they all grab horses and mount up.

Where Are You Going?

Lan Wangji is waiting for them, nonconfrontationally indulging in some visual poetry while he waits. 

In a show where every prop is exquisitely, carefully designed to enhance our understanding character, his Gusu-toned umbrella reveals surprising red and yellow threads woven in, right above his eye line as he looks at Wei Wuxian. 

Wei Wuxian speaks first, saying “you came to stop me?” Lan Wangji doesn’t answer, but asks him where he’s going. Then Lan Wangji warns him that he’s about to abandon orthodoxy forever, if he follows through. 

Wei Wuxian challenges this idea of orthodoxy, asking if Lan Wangji remembers the promise they made together, back in Gusu. It’s worth noting that they both appear to think of it as a co-promise, even though Lan Wangji didn’t speak aloud at the time. 

The conversation will continue in the next episode, because what’s better than a rainy romantic cliffhanger?

Soundtrack: Four Sticks by Led Zeppelin

[offaeandcreation]

To Live Without Regrets

Summary: 

“If you regret killing me…” 

 Jin Guangyao could almost see Wen Ruohan leaning over him, his hair pouring down his shoulders like an ebony waterfall, a wide grin full of teeth, and scarlet eyes twinkling in false crinkles. 

The invisible grip tightened on his neck. 

“I’ll make you regret betraying me.” 

Five times Jin Guangyao refused to regret his choices and the one time he did.

Pairing: Wen Ruohan/Meng Yao | Jin Guangyao

WC: 4,100

Warnings: Gore, Mild Horror, Physical Abuse shown/mentioned/implied, Non-con on screen but not too detailed, Bullying, Dysfunctional Relationships, Daddy issues (non-sexual), Sexual Content Implied, 

AO3

1. 

Meng Yao saluted at his father’s feet. 

The way his mother taught him, correcting his posture by tapping his back or knees with the gentleness of a butterfly, whispering to relax here, bend more, bow his head, and look at the floor.

 He stared at his father’s dark boots, shiny leather with gold peony embroidery that glinted in the sun. The type that by stepping into too wet dirt would ruin them for good. An interesting choice considering they were at war.

“He’s too much a coward to walk on anything not laid in silk or gold.” A familiar voice sneered into his ear, “Did he even step into the battlefield?”

Meng Yao’s gaze flickered to the corpse laying beside him. Dirk caked silk white robes and the bloody stump where the head used to be no longer glistened with fresh blood. 

“I have brought Clan Leader Wen to you, Fu- “Meng Yao’s breath caught in his throat, “-Clan Leader Jin.” 

He received no response, and the rains did not grace the patch of dirt he stuck his nose into with any puddles to see his father’s reflection. 

“Where’s the head?” Jin Guangshan finally asked, “I recall asking specifically for it.” 

Only years of practice kept Meng Yao from brushing the Qiankun pouch attached to his hip, “… Lost in the chaos. My greatest apologies.” 

Wen Ruohan burst into laughter, “If he doesn’t accept you, will you suddenly find my head?”

Meng Yao’s lips thinned. The pouch tugged at his belt, as if someone suddenly dumped a case full of logs into it. The silence stretched for several beats.

“It’ll do.” Blessedly, Jin Guangshan said, “Stand up, Jin Guangyao.”

Meng Yao stared at the dirt caking his dull boots. Did he hear that right?

Jin Guangyao?  

Jin.

Jin Guangyao lifted his head. His father towered above him wearing gold silks and peonies, with only the vermillion mark between his brows glinting like a jewel. He flicked open his expensive fan, dripping in gold paint and priceless landscapes, and hid his unsmiling lips. 

Finally.

 Finally he could go to his mother’s grave and share the good news. Even with his cultivation lagging behind, even amid a deadly cultivators’ war, only with the gifts of wits and character his mother had granted him made her dream finally come true. 

For the first time in his life, Jin Guangyao’s eyes watered along as a genuine smile tugged at his lips. He gave into it with a salute, “This lowly son thanks Fuqin for his acknowledgement.” 

Jin Guangshan flinched.

“You’re dismissed.” He said as he waved his free hand in a half-hearted dismissal. And turned his back to him, “Someone, get rid of the corpse.”

“Was that really what you wanted all this time?” Wen Ruohan’s voice whispered. 

Jin Guangyao’s eyes glanced to the side, half expecting to see the former Clan Leader Wen standing beside him. Only to be greeted by the Jin disciples crowding around Wen Ruohan’s headless body, some sending the occasional glare at him while others muttered to themselves about burning the body, that he won’t be reincarnating anyway without his head. 

“Nothing I ever did could have replaced your desire to be acknowledged?”

Jin Guangyao bowed his head slightly to hide the movement of his lips, “It was my mother’s dream.” 

Wen Ruohan cackled, his ringing in both of Jin Guangyao’s ears even when he turned his head, “You really fooled me then into thinking I meant something to you. Why bother with the pretense now?”

 The Qiankun pouch pulsed with barely concealed resentment. 

Jin Guangyao clapped the pouch, “Stop throwing a tantrum.” 

Ice surrounded Jin Guangyao’s throat, like a pair of cold, clawed hands around like a scarf. He could barely swallow…

“Let’s make a wager.” Wen Ruohan crooned, “If you regret killing me…” 

 It was too easy to imagine Wen Ruohan leaning over him, his hair pouring down his shoulders like an ebony waterfall, scarlet eyes twinkling in false crinkles, and a wide grin full of pearl-white teeth. 

The invisible grip tightened on his neck. 

“I’ll make you regret betraying me.” 

 _____________________

2. 

Jin Guangyao barely suppressed a hiss as he sewed the gash on his forehead closed. Dark blood oozed in droplets, streaming down his face and occasionally into his right eye. Violet bruises bloomed around the gash. Did Madame Jin really need to throw an iron teapot at him? 

“If you haven’t used up all your spiritual energy to stay up in the past fortnight, you would have enough to prevent those ugly bruises.” 

Jin Guangyao’s gaze flickered to the far side of his bronze mirror. A soft outline of Wen Ruohan’s head bobbled where his unused pillow on his bed was. The rest of his body would never appear, probably because Jin Guangyao only kept his head. 

“You made a promise not to play with my vision.” Jin Guangyao snarled, wiping away the wayward blood that once again seemed utterly determined to blind him in one eye. 

“Oho~ Did you just snap at me?” Wen Ruohan taunted. The faint outline shimmered and grew as if he moved from a lying to a sitting position. If he had his body, that was, “You must be exhausted.” 

Jin Guangyao ignored him. Having finished the last of the stitching, he considered his makeup kit. Makeup could risk infecting the wound, and the benefits didn’t seem to outweigh the negatives. Even applying several layers only hid the worst of the purple underneath his eyes. 

Would his cap be enough? Or the way it sat on his head also aggravate the wound? 

The bronze mirror reflected the hazy outline of Wen Ruohan’s head, appearing just several cun away from Jin Guangyao’s ear. His hands, if he had any, would sit on his shoulders, pale fingers settled like butterflies. 

“When was the last time you walked around so exhausted you could fall over? When was the last time you walked without malice-born bruises?” 

The answer danced on Jin Guangyao’s tongue. Like sweet Tanghulu given to a starving child.

The body-less head smiled at him in the mirror, “Was this all worth it?”

“Madame Jin is mourning.” Jin Guangyao interrupted. “She lost her son, and she is lashing out.” 

The outlines around Wen Ruohan’s mouth pinched. A full-lipped pout that only a toddler could compete with, “By such logic, aren’t you implying he was dead since you entered Jinlin Tai? Wouldn’t his death mean she will throw heavier objects at you? By the end of the year, people would mistake you for a man-shaped bruise.”

Jin Guangyao closes the mirror with a loud clunk, “Fuqin wishes to have Xue Yang experiment with your body. See it turn into a fierce corpse.” 

Wen Ruohan went quiet. 

“You were once a powerful cultivator. It would be a shame to let that go to waste,” He continues as if reciting a textbook. “The resentment you must have from being backstabbed should be enough to compete with Wen Qionglin.” 

The candle on his desk flickered as resentment poured from the ghost. It flicked some of Jin Guangyao’s loose hair, but the piles of papers on his desk remained undisturbed. 

If Wen Ruohan had his material body, he would be growling. 

“I talked him out of it,” Jin Guangyao said, replacing the medical kit into its proper place, “Your head is missing and Xue Yang’s pins work through the temples, for now.” 

“Is that a threat?” Wen Ruohan hisses. 

Jin Guangyao gave a one-sided shrug. Dropping the conversation. He reached for the towering pile of paperwork sitting since dawn- no, now several piles. Someone had divided up the pile, if haphazardly, into several. 

A ghost of a smile flickered on Jin Guangyao’s lips, “You managed not to knock them off the desk this time.”

“See if I do you such a favor again.” 

He snorted, “Then don’t come to me complaining about being bored.” 

Wen Ruohan huffed and floated back towards the bed. 

 If Wen Ruohan was in his living body, he’d carry his chin up high with the most over-the-top grouch that only a spoiled mistress could make. 

Many times, Jin Guangyao made the mistake of turning his head to look for something that wasn’t there. 

Such a shame fierce corpses couldn’t smile. 

“You know, it suddenly occurred to me… do you watch over that brat because you miss the Fire Palace so-” 

“Enough or I will change my mind about Wen Qionglin.” 

______________________

3. 

“Son of a whore!” 

Jin Guangyao’s hands tremble beneath his weight. A weight he could barely feel. It was as if Nie Mingjue had indeed unleashed Baxia and carved out all his innards, leaving nothing but a gaping emptiness with only the barest layer of his skin left. 

“Jin Guangyao!” 

Colors flood around him. A flash of a blade. Whisks of white. 

“Guangyao!” 

Sudden darkness, copper in his mouth.

“A-Yao!” 

Jin Guangyao flinched at Wen Ruohan’s voice. The warm glow of torches outlined the empty sitting room. He stumbled forward, falling to his knees. The gold pillow sank underneath his weight, not enough to cushion the dull vibrating pain that clawed up and down his legs. 

“A-Yao.” Wen Ruohan’s voice said. Quiet. Soft. 

Jin Guangyao felt his mouth move, words that used to come easily, like blinking. 

He kicked him down the stairs. 

He called him a son of a whore. 

He tried to kill him.

Again.

“A-Yao. Breathe.” 

Air flooded down his throat. Jin Guangyao gasped and choked. Bile licked the back of his throat. 

“A-Yao. No one is here. That ungrateful brat can’t hurt you because he isn’t here.” 

Soft outlines materialized in the air in front of him. Like wisps of light blue smoke. This time, instead of the smoke-like patches, Wen Ruohan fully formed his features. A solemn expression painted with the finesse of an artist. 

Jin Guangyao’s shoulders sank, and he collapsed against the table. His breath came out sharp and ragged.

“Like them,” He wheezed, “he was like them all along.” 

Wen Ruohan watched him, his mouth too unstable to make out its position, expression twitching between curiosity, concern, and even a flash of vindication, “Oho, what do you mean?” 

Laughter bubbled out of Jin Guangyao. It came out soundless, but he still doubled over, unable to take a breath, “Won’t you just ask the question, Ruohan? Ask if I regret it all? Regret killing you to save him?” 

He expected a smile to bloom on Wen Ruohan’s face. Now was the opportune time to ask about the wager. And maybe Jin Guangyao would say- 

“No.” The words formed on his lips with ease. Along with the placid smile he long learned to wear. 

Wen Ruohan rolled his eyes, “And you went and answered it yourself. Why bother asking?”

“Nie Mingjue acted kindly towards me once before. Defended my mother by shutting down the insults.” 

When they called him a bastard. A son of a whore. 

“And then he went and did it himself,” Wen Ruohan bared his teeth, “you did so much for him and he repays you like this? Ungrateful little brat. Hooting his own faux morality until he is no less than a rabid dog that needs to be put down.” 

Jin Guangyao bowed his head. The table he leaned on rattled. 

Wen Ruohan hovered by him. 

He didn’t ask him why he didn’t regret it.  

-

Weeks later, Wen Ruohan kept a lookout as Jin Guangyao snuck into the secret underground library at the Cloud Recesses. 

“Are you going through with this?” Wen Ruohan asked him once Jin Guangyao burned the sheet music in the fireplace. 

Jin Guangyao looked up from the flames. His face was lax of all emotion. Only the staccato of his heartbeat in his ribcage hinted at the swirl of unease he hid deep in his chest, “I was under the impression this would entertain you.” 

“Try again.” 

Jin Guangyao breathed in, then out. His fingers threaded through his hair. A tick that he thought he long had gotten rid of, “It’s for his own good. Imagine how much he could hurt Huaisang with the way he is going. Hurt himself. It’s best to put an end to his suffering.” 

Wen Ruohan hovered in front of him, an artful brow shooting upwards, “And here I was thinking you were getting payback.” 

“It’s for his own good,” Jin Guangyao repeated.

“Just say you regret saving him and want his life as payment for his abuse, A-Yao.” 

________________________________________________________

4.  

His mother thought of every excuse for his father for why he had never returned. 

“He must be busy,” she whispered one night after entertaining ten men, the bruises still fresh on her throat, “that’s why he hasn’t come for you.” 

“He’ll come soon.” She said, fingering the pearl button as the illness stole the meat from her every limb, not even sparing the soft curves of her cheeks.

 “A matter must have taken his attention.” 

She waited.

She died waiting.

In the end, when he replaced his family name with Jin, Jin Guangyao watched the man he called father shirk his duties onto his lap so he could run off to the next brothel. 

He watched his father from the corner of his eye, waiting for the warmth that his mother promised. The same softness that crinkled around his eyes back when Zixuan was in the room. But when Jin Guangyao spoke to him, Jin Guangshan looked more interested in the ‘antique’ vase in the corner of his office.

Wen Ruohan raised his eyebrow at him after one such meeting.  

Jin Guangyao waved him off, “I got all I wanted from him: acknowledgement. What else do I need from him?” 

“Whatever helps you sleep better,” He grinned at him. 

 “You may comfort yourself with that thought.” Jin Guangyao replied.

-

“Meng Shi was a famous entertainer,” Jin Guangshan said to a prostitute near an open window of the brothel, “but as a literate woman, she would be too much trouble.”

Jin Guangyao’s smile froze.  

“What of her son?” The prostitute asked. Perhaps the one warming his lap. 

“Forget it.” He hand-waved. 

Xue Yang roared with laughter beside him, cursing out words that blended perfectly with the stampede of the crowds in the bustling red district of Lanling city. 

Jin Guangyao’s smile remained pasted as he entered the brothel to retrieve Jin Guangshan. It remained on his face all the way back to Jinlin Tai, even with Xue Yang’s prods and Clan Leader Jin’s drunken rants.

He started trembling the moment he stepped into his room. His favorite clay pot rattled when he tried to lift it over the hot coals. 

“Why are you acting so surprised?” Wen Ruohan materialized across from him. The ghostly sway of his hair blended with the curl of smoke from the coals. He wore a thin smile, as fake as the trinket Jin Guangyao’s “father” gave his mother.

“I’m not in the mood for your antics,” Jin Guangyao said, replacing the pot on the coals again. The top nearly popped off with how hard it rattled. 

Wen Ruohan ignored him, “You knew he would crush you beneath his heel the first chance he got.” 

Jin Guangyao’s hand tightened around the handle. 

“I thought you sought acknowledgement for your mother’s dream?” Wen Ruohan’s head tilted to the side, as if to consider.

“Wen Ruohan,” he warned. The edges of his vision blurred in the deep ochres of the waning sun and a tint of light blue of Wen Ruohan’s ghostly form. 

Blue pupils, long since unblinking, met his. “You wanted him to love you.” 

“This is your last warning,” Jin Guangyao hissed through his teeth.

“You know what confuses me?” Wen Ruohan ignored him, “You weeped how your father kicked you down all of Jinlin Tai’s stairs when you first came groveling for acknowledgement. And now you are upset that he doesn’t love you when you forced him to give you the Jin name. 

Why would you assume he would start loving you when all he saw was a waste of space?” 

Jin Guangyao slammed his fist on the table. A sharp spike of pain flew up his arm. The teapot barely budged; it shook more when he held it, “My mother died waiting for him!” 

And he never weeped.  

Wen Ruohan watched him with a blank expression, “He never was going to come back.” 

Jin Guangyao swung his head towards the ceiling. The solid wood of the dark table anchored him from to the tempest of fire brewing deep in his chest. A tear dripped down his cheek.

 “You want me to admit I regret killing you? That I should have known from the start that the acknowledgment from my sorry excuse of a father was a mistake.” 

Jin Guangyao smiled at Wen Ruohan. His cheeks aching from tension, “You know, I have a theory, Clan Leader.” 

Wen Ruohan’s eyes narrowed, searching him. It only made Jin Guangyao smile wider. “What you really want is me to acknowledge I loved you. That it all wasn’t an act. That you were more than a stepping stone.”   

Wen Ruohan’s nose flared. The ghostly smoke swirled, like ink dropped into water and then stirred, to the point only a cloud of blue floated in the place of his head.

Jin Guangyao waited patiently, pouring hot water from the clay teapot into the tea leaves he prepared. The handle a pleasant burn in his palm. 

Only after he replaced the tea leaves did he continue, “I planned to kill you from the start. Not once did I reconsider.” He glanced at the ghost. 

Wen Ruohan’s features slowly returned, rough patches where the eyes and mouth should have been, but still placed with an artist’s eye. It betrayed no expression, blank like in one of his meetings, or when the news came of loss after loss after loss. 

“And I loved you. I didn’t fake a thing.” Jin Guangyao took a sip before reaching for the Qiankun pouch at his side.

“Men- Jin Guangyao, what are you doing?” Wen Ruohan shot forward, his head bobbing above the smoking tea. 

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be surprised,” Jin Guangyao said as he untied his belt, “Fuqin is trash who I shouldn’t have expected better from. And do you know what you do with trash, Clan Leader Wen?” 

Wen Ruohan’s eyes bulged as he removed his decapitated head from the pouch. Eyes closed with every lash in place and mouth relaxed. Outside the pallid skin, sunken cheeks, and missing body, it almost looked as if he were asleep. Even his hair barely tangled—the preservation talismans did their job. 

“Throw it out.” 

_

“That was what I told you.” Wen Ruohan muttered later that evening, “I told you to throw trash out.”

Jin Guangyao smiled at the dark ceiling. The only downside of a fierce corpse head companion is the lack of body heat, “To be exact, you said to burn trash so it may be reborn from the ashes.” 

“So I did. Were you planning on trying that with my head?”

 Jin Guangyao huffed, “I considered. But I had a better idea—let the flames cleanse the dirt so a temple could be built instead.” 

Around his mother’s grave. And Guanyin shaped to her likeness so she may reincarnate into a better life. 

Wen Ruohan floated in front of him, a blue wisp of cold fire in the darkness of night, “Do you regret it?”

Jin Guangyao laughed. Deep and loud. 

He didn’t know. 

_______________________________________________________

5.

“Do you like it, Fuqin?” Jin Guangyao taunted from behind the curtain. 

The parade of ugly, old prostitutes sat on Jin Guangshan’s lap, working like they would any client. Rivers of tears poured down his father’s face with his wails muffled by the cloth muzzle tied securely around his mouth. 

“You ask for prostitutes almost every day,” Jin Guangyao continued, “I got you so many. I did as you asked. Aren’t you happy?” 

  A bonfire lit in his veins, pulsing in his ears like war drums.

His mother suffered because of him. 

He suffered because of him. 

Blood, sweat and tears just to get his acknowledgment. 

Was it a sin for a child to want their father’s love? 

Blood. Sweat. And tears. 

For a man who wouldn’t spare them another glance. 

And now, Jin Guangshan, bare-boned and sick, tied to the bed, with his legs splayed out like his mother was forced to do for years. But even if every prostitute in the room sat on his lap one thousand times, it would only be the fraction of the men his mother had to entertain. 

What a pathetic, weak little man. 

Wen Ruohan roared with laughter beside him. Watching the spectacle as he would on a good day at the Fire Palace.  

“I always loved your taste in punishments.” He wheezed, “Claim to only humor me back then or not, but truly, your ideas are something else.”

A smile dripping venom bloomed on Jin Guangyao’s face. A thrill of pure glee, hot like molten metal, bubbled in his chest. 

He gave his “father” so many chances. Who else is he to blame but himself? 

Wen Ruohan’s eyes met Jin Guangyao’s, flashing like rays of a bright star, “No regrets?” 

Jin Guangyao laughed at him. A deep belly laugh that only Wen Ruohan could stir within him. “Regrets? Who in this world has time for regrets? I have a sect to run and a future to strive for. He’s as good as dead.” He grinned so much it hurt, “I can live now!” 

Wen Ruohan paused, his own smile frozen on his face, “What of Nightless City? Weren’t you free then?” 

“Only if I had your fickle regard,” The words spilled out so easily, as if Jin Guangyao was drunk, “What if you changed your mind about me? What if you found out I was a spy? You would kill me.” 

Wen Ruohan’s good humor disappeared. His eyes, now only strokes of blue, bore into his, a seriousness that rarely graced his features.

 “I knew.” 

Jin Guangyao balked, the glee dissipating, leaving behind a gaping hole in his chest. 

“Since when-” 

One prostitute interrupted with a scream, “He’s dead!” 

_____________________________________________________________________

+1 

Wen Ruohan didn’t dare appear during the chaos at Guanyin Temple. Dealing with a demonic cultivator and Nie Mingjue’s reanimated corpse was far too risky. And it wasn’t like he could do much, with not even his entire soul intact.

But then, after, it was too late. 

“You wouldn’t let me live!” Jin Guangyao shouted at Lan Xichen before running towards the coffin, “Fuck you, Nie Mingjue, you think I’m scared of you?”

And in the next instance, Nie Mingjue’s corpse snapped his neck. 

The seal on the coffin holding their corpses would last a hundred years. They wouldn’t be able to reincarnate, souls trapped to fight one another until one such day they could pass.

 With his head still hidden in the Qiankun pouch by Jin Guangyao’s side, neither could Wen Ruohan. 

Perhaps it is due to this that Wen Ruohan passed through the wards unchallenged. He floated over the coffin, yet to be buried. 

“A-Yao?”

No response. 

“The wager is off.” He continued, “I won’t make you regret betraying me. I promise.” 

No response. 

“It shouldn’t have ended this way. Come out so we can complain about it until they deem us ready to reincarnate together. I always keep my promises. You can come out now.”

Silence. 

No, not quite. Just the groans of two fierce corpses buried below. 

A tug pulled his attention, so slight he almost missed it.

Just by the coffin right on the outside, flicks of resentment fluttered around a stain of blood. Wen Ruohan floated closer. 

Two characters scribbled on the side of the coffin. As if in a rush.

Regret. 

Wen Ruohan settled by the coffin, right by the characters. He stared out through the broken door, watching the sky change from pitch black to light blue. 

“You know, A-Yao… I never wanted to win.”

[yuziyuanapologist]

all my rage

the chengsu (jiang cheng/qin su) agenda - 1.7k - canon divergence from episode 40.

mild content warnings for canon typical discussion of qin su’s parentage + jin rusong’s death. (sometimes im a jgy apologist but not in this fic.)

[AO3 link!]

It’s late into the evening of the banquet when Qin Su appears at the door to Jiang Cheng's guest rooms, tears streaming down her face, her sobs interrupting the breaths she takes, and her hand half raised from when she had knocked. 

"Jin-furen," he greets, brow furrowed with concern - her proper title not a common thing from his lips, and from the way she flinches at it, it's an address that he now regrets. "Qin Su, what's - what's wrong?" 

She opens her mouth to reply, but it's drowned out by renewed tears, a hand to her chest as she gasps, other hand against the door frame to steady herself. 

He falters for a second, unsure - but it's all he can do, to stand aside, and allow her entry into his rooms. He shuts the door behind her; it’s perhaps improper, but it's not something that he cares about at this moment. 

“Qin Su -” he moves forward, a hand to her shoulder. “Would you - would you like to sit?” He gestures to the table, and tries to encourage her forward without pushing. He’s still - still - not good at comforting, but she needs it, so he grits his teeth and walks with her across the room.

She gives a shaky exhale as she sinks to a kneeling position. Her shoulders still tremble as she rests her forearms on the table, hands folded together, as if playing at composure. Jiang Cheng sits beside her, watching closely, carefully, desperate to give her anything that she needs, however ill-equipped he is for it.

"Jiang-Zongzhu," she whispers, her eyes shut tight, tears still escaping. "Jiang Cheng, I-" She shakes her head, once, again, again. "I can't - it's shameful, I -" 

She sobs once more, and never has Jiang Cheng felt helplessness like this - or not - not now. 

He puts a gentle (is it gentle? He hopes so. He lost that touch a while ago, if he ever had it) hand on her forearm, and his thumb soothes circles through her thin sleeves, a trick he learnt from - from - whatever. 

"Qin Su, what can I do?" 

"Nothing - oh, nothing! There is nothing that can be done, except to -" She lets out a frustrated sound akin to a growl, a scream, a cry. And, at the tail of the sound, as it quiets to a breath, she speaks. 

"I received a letter," she says. Another quivering breath, and she continues. "A letter which revealed the truth of my parentage."

Jiang Cheng stops his words before they can escape; he does not need to interrupt. If left the space to continue, she will - he knows this. He knows her. 

"He-" it's spat out, a strangled sound. Furious, and Jiang Cheng understands that feeling better than anyone. "I am a child of assault," she spits. 

"I'm sor-" Isn't that what he's supposed to say? But she cuts him off. 

"I am a child," she continues, teeth gritted. "Of Jin Guangshan." 

Of - of - what? 

"And he knew!" it's more of a wail, now. "A-Yao knew, since before the wedding. But he thought it better to keep quiet, because it was - after A-S-" She doesn’t seem able to say the name - understandable. Sometimes Jiang Cheng struggles with the same thing. With others, too.

He still has his hand in her arm, but now she takes it in one hand, then both, gripping it tight enough to hurt, tight enough for him to feel the ring of Zidian making imprints in her soft skin.

They had both loved A-Song. A friend for A-Ling, and a sweet boy, with his dimpled smile and eyes filled with wonder. He had been so joyful, listening intently to every word his mother cooed to him in the cradle, and he had laughed with delight when Jiang Cheng lifted him high into the air, something that A-Ling had been too big for by then. 

It had always been strange how distant Jin Guangyao had seemed to keep himself from his own son. Jiang Cheng had written it off as the panic of fatherhood, and understood it, having felt almost the same way when - but - but this is - 

"Jiang Cheng," Qin Su says, her words now deliberate and emotionless, as if it’s the only way she can force them out. "He killed my son." As soon as she has spoken, she gasps, and lets the despair take her again.

"He - how-" Words fail him. Anger is familiar, yes, but with his hands held so tightly in hers, his concentration is on Zidian, on not letting it spark out the rage it knows he feels. 

"He set it up!" she cries. "He set it up so that - in case A-Song was -" 

Her voice tails off, and her tears come silent now, mouth open in grief that she can't express - grief that she has never been able to express. 

He's not very well going to be any help with that. Instead, he lifts his other hand, covering hers and his with it, and channels his anger to his voice.

"I'll kill him." 

He's not saying it as he once did, half in jest, more frustration than rage - no, this is cold, hard, the steel edge of his lightning anger. He knows he can say nothing to ease her pain, and he knows that she doesn't want to hear anything else. This, though, this he can say. 

"Or I will," she forces out, voice cracked and broken and yet fierce. 

His right hand is numb from her grip, but in some soothing way it helps. The absence of feeling there is a distraction, a grounding force, because if he could stand and leave, he'd do it, he'd go straight to the Fragrance Hall and he'd - 

There's a knock at the door. A familiar, soft, fucking patronising tap, and a horribly familiar voice calling through. 

"Jiang-Zongzhu," It's oozing politeness, dripping saccharine syrup and burning into Jiang Cheng's ears. "Do you know where A-Su is?" 

Qin Su's grip on his hands tightens yet more for a second, and then, with a sharp inhale - loosens. She extracts her hands from his grip, forcing herself into a cool and measured manner, and pushes herself to stand, wiping her sleeves beneath her eyes. All of this before Jiang Cheng has even been able to speak. Without Qin Su's hands on his own, they've curled into fists that he can barely relax. 

"Why would I?" he calls in response to Jin Guangyao, attempting the offhand gruffness that he's perfected these years, but it falls short. 

Qin Su shakes her head, and takes a step towards the door, wobbling only a little. Inside her sleeves, her hands, too, are curled into fists. 

In this moment, he's somewhat afraid of her. And then - all at once - his mouth is curling into a prideful smirk at her power, anticipation for what will come, and he stands, following behind her to the door. 

"Give me a minute," he calls roughly to Jin Guangyao. Make him wait. 

Just before Qin Su can put a hand on the door to open it, he takes her arm with his left hand. "Trust me," he murmurs at her look of alarm, and lifts his right hand to hers, fingers curling round her wrist. 

He's never done this before, but he shuts his eyes, and whispers to the lightning anger. 

Slowly at first, then with a smooth speed, Zidian slithers across to her wrist, making itself at home against her delicate skin, the ring winding itself around her middle finger, and sealing itself. It looks as though it belongs there - Jiang Cheng almost can't bear to let go, not least for the strange calm he feels without the static flickering on the edges of his consciousness. 

She gives him a sort of smile, a tear left unshed at the corner of her eye, marring the perfect picture of callous anger. He nods once, swallows, and lifts a thumb to brush away the tear. 

She slides the door open, and Jin Guangyao is there, all smiles, all relief to see her. All that and sticky sweet falsehood, and at the edge of it, a calculating glint in his eye. 

"A-Su," he says, "I've-" 

Jiang Cheng hears the crackling before he does, sees the flash of purple before Jin Guangyao has a chance to react. 

He's felt Zidian's sting himself only once before, and it was only the laughable mistake of letting a young Jin Ling play with the weapon, a mild hit compared to some. 

This - this is full force and heavy, throwing Jin Guangyao back across the courtyard, into the decorative pond in front of the opposite building. This is what he deserves. 

"A-Su-" he struggles to stand. 

She whips him again, and this time he stays down, blood dribbling from his mouth as he looks at her with wide, frightened eyes. 

She's beautiful like this. Fearsome, proud, her slight stature almost unnoticeable with the amount of rage that she holds inside. Jiang Cheng could watch for - forever. 

Jin Guangyao croaks from the pond he’s slumped in. "Please, A-Su, let me -" 

Once more, and he's unconscious. 

The commotion is stirring people from the surrounding buildings now, running footsteps and voices audible, and though Qin Su’s face is etched with a cool, triumphant smile, Jiang Cheng knows to act. 

"Qin Su," he urges. "Quick. Give me Zidian back, say it was me." 

Her eyes flicker with defiance, but she climbs down from it, her breathing quickening. "I -" 

He takes her hand in his before she can argue, and summons Zidian back. 

"Jiang Cheng-" The beginnings of panic are showing in her eyes as she glances to where the sounds of crowds are coming from - but at least the satisfaction shows no signs of giving way to regret. 

"We'll work it out," he says, and then swallows all his past down to continue. "Come back to Lotus Pier with me. You'll be safe there." 

She meets his gaze, and he hopes it holds all the truth that's in his heart, all his intentions. 

Letting go of her wrist, he lets Zidian crackle once, twice, between his fingers, and searches her eyes for the answer. 

A moment later, she gives it, a gentling of her eyes, a sadness to her smile, and she nods. Whispers "thank you," and lifts her hand to press a brief touch of palm to cheek. 

He nods, trying not to let his breathing stutter, and turns back towards Jin Guangyao’s unconscious form, moving to stand in front of her as the crowds rush into the courtyard. 

Behind his back, he moves his left hand. A second later, she takes it.