#constantine review

[tinyreviews]

One of those films where the atmosphere and setting alone can hold the movie up.

Constantine is a 2005 American superhero horror film directed by Francis Lawrence in his directorial debut. Written by Kevin Brodbin and Frank Cappello, it is loosely based on DC Comics' Hellblazer comic book. The film stars Keanu Reeves, with Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Tilda Swinton, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Djimon Hounsou, Gavin Rossdale, and Peter Stormare.

[zygon-commander]

If you wanna get to know John Constantine but don't know where to start, then this guide is for you! Get all the meat of the story without having to read the filler issue where he remembers turning into a horny werewolf.

I made this zine ages ago but completely forgot to upload it here until I was Hellblazer thirst posting tonight and suddenly remembered.

I had a super fun time putting it together so I hope there are some nerds on here who enjoy it!! Feel free to leave recs as well

(The quiz is serious btw, I wanna know)

[audiemurphy1945]

Artists by David Levine, for The New York Review of Books, 1964-1988

[thecomicsnexus]

SWAMP THING #69-75

FEB - AUG 1988 By Rick Veitch , Brett Ewins, Alfredo Alcala, Tatjana Wood, John Costanza, Dave McKean, Tom Yeates, John Totleben, and Mike Kaluta.

After refusing to destroy his successor, Swamp Thing accidentally puts his world at risk. Now with the help of John Constantine, he will need to find a new soul for the sprout, and finally retire to live with Abby.

SCORE: 9

The only thing stopping this review from being a 10 is the very complex lore that is starting to make the book very dense. Especially if you come back to the back after a long break. And it's not just the lore, it's also how long these stories are running.

In any case, reading these issues was very refreshing. It was back when stories, no matter how serialized they were, still had a good sense of pacing. And Rick Veitch made sure to give you something back for your money every month.

To me the best episode of this batch was the one with the plane accidents. Looking for a successor for Swampy, John Constantine does all kinds of risky things, just to be able to single out a person who was about to die who was somewhat related to Alec Holland.

But this Gary Holland immediately realizes he is about to die, and every single moment of his last day is plagues with bad omens. Still, John has no other choice but to get in the plane that was about to crash, just to save the world. John survives the plane crash, but then find out that Swampy found the souls of the plane crash and helped move on to the afterlife (he was unaware of John's plan). It was so dark and funny, that it really reminded me of Vertigo comics (or perhaps the average Alan Grant story).

The next episode had also a very creative narrative device. With the panel orientation being taken over by the line of captions, making every page with the character, technically a maze.

These are all very thought-provoking stories with a lot of poetry in the art itself.

But I have to repeat myself here. The great moments were possible thanks to the super long arc, which doesn't even end with issue #75. However, I felt it was the right time to finish the binge. I already knew that Abby was going to try to be a mother, so it didn't come as a surprise.

And here's another thing that's going to make this story even longer. It will crossover with Hellblazer. And I am not sure how much it will matter for the book, but Invasion will also tie in with this book.

Nevertheless, I'll take that small flaw (same problem the Legion books always have), in favor of stories like these.

[kilowogcore]

Heya poozers, it's time fer Kilowog's pick a' the week! This is where I pick the best comic I read this week and give ya' a non-spoiler review of it. Keep in mind I really only read DC comics. I want to read more, but I ain't got the time. This week was another tough one, because Batman's arc finale was amazin' and actually made me love Batman, which ain't easy ta' do, but ultimately I had ta' go a different direction.

Kilowog's Pick: John Constantine: Hellblazer: Dead in America Vol. 1 #6 by Simon Spurrier, Aaron Campbell, Jordie Bellaire, Steve Wands, Matthew Levine, and Chris Conroy.

This whole series has been fantastic, with Simon Spurrier showin' he can write horror an' Aaron Campbell showin' he can illustrate it, but this issue really took the cake fer me.

They play around with metacommentary an' fourth wall breakin'. That's something we see all the time from people like Deadpool an' Harley Quinn, or from writers like Alan Moore an' Grant Morrison, but when they do it it's makin' big serious points, or else bein' silly an' goofy.

This is about horror. It's a horror comic. A twisted tale a' obsession with story an' obsession with makin' story perfect, the madness of bein' able ta' change things narratively, an' some fantastic art that takes full advantage of the comics medium to show the fourth-wall-breakin' an' reality-warpin' powers at play.

Yeah, any time there's a fourth wall break comic it's kinda whimsical, but whimsy can turn ta' horror easily under the hand of a good writer, an' Simon Spurrier is a good writer.

The issue ties in with the larger plot of this series, but the metacommentary stands alone an' I think it'd be enjoyable even fer people who ain't readin' the rest of it.

An that's my pick a' the week!

[dconscreen]

Gimme Back my Bullet | SDCC News

The day after our momentous Deadpool and Wolverine Review, Dave took sick with a cold. He's still not over it, but we had to talk about SDCC and the things going on at DC Studios!

DC Studios

New DCU Logo Officially Revealed

Jim Lee Shares Official Animation for Gunn & Safran's DC Studios

Batman: Caped Crusader

Caped Crusader Season 1 Has Dropped

Thoughts on Minnie Driver's Penguin

40s Fleischer Lois Easter Egg

The Batman Epic Crime Saga

Reeves Calls His Universe "The Batman Epic Crime Saga"

Farrell's Penguin Inspirations

Cristin Milioti's Preparation for Sophia

Victor to Be Robin to Penguin's Batman

The Penguin Sets Up The Batman Sequel

"Another Television Exploration" Coming After The Penguin

Why Arkham Asylum and Gotham PD Spin-Offs Were Cancelled

The Penguin Official Trailer

The Batman 2: Colin Farrell's Penguin Confirmed

Joker: Folie à Deux

Big Changes to Harley and Joker

Joker: Folie a Deux Is "Daring," "Darker" and "Completely Different" From the First Film

New Joker: Folie à Deux Trailer Released

Superman & Lois

Superman & Lois Season 4 is set to release Oct. 17, 2024

New Season 4 Trailer

New Sneak Peak Shows Doomsday Fight

Who is Tom Cavanaugh Playing?

Harley Quinn

Harley Quinn Returning Sometimes in November!

Creature Commandos

Creature Commandos Teaser Trailer Released by DC Studios

Superman

Superman Skipped SDCC 2024 Because It's "Too Soon" to Show Anything

The Film Has Wrapped Now as Well

Peacemaker Season 2

Peacemaker Season 2 Reveals Surprising Return, New Director

My Adventures With Superman

New Designs and Characters from My Adventures with Superman

Constantine 2

Constantine Producer Reveals Major Update on Sequel

Batman Forever: The Schumacher Cut

Batman Forever Writer Still Hoping for Release of Schumacher Cut

Marvel/DC

Kevin Feige Comments on Marvel/DC Crossover: "Never Say Never"

Join Our Riotous DC Debauch!

Site: https://dconscreen.com

Store: https://bit.ly/DCoStore

Patreon: https://patreon.com/dconscreen

Apple: http://bit.ly/DCoSReview

Spotify: http://bit.ly/DCSCREEN

Spreaker: https://bit.ly/DCoSSpreaker

[peculiarte]

[adamwatchesmovies]

Constantine (2005)

Constantine comes from the era of comic book film adaptation when we were just happy to get ANYTHING. This allowed writers, directors and executives to do whatever they wanted to make the stories and characters more accessible and bankable without mobs coming to their doors with pitchforks and torches. Unfortunately, this often resulted in generic, forgettable films. The less familiar you are with the Hellblazer comics, the more likely you are to appreciate this less-than-faithful take on the character. I enjoyed it just enough to give it a mild recommendation while hoping a better adaptation will someday leave this one in the dust.

In LA, cynical occultist John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) is surprised to find a demon attempting to enter our world through its possessed host, rather than simply puppeteering her the way demons usually do. Meanwhile, Detective Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) is shocked when her twin sister, Isabel, commits suicide. Isabel knew this mortal sin would condemn her to Hell, which prompts Angela to suspect she was actually murdered. These strange events are somehow linked to a strange spearhead discovered in a ruined church in Mexico that possesses a man (Jesse Ramirez) while granting him near-invincibility.

With his American accent and black hair, this Constantine feels a lot more like a traditional cynical hero than the blonde from Liverpool you'll find in the pages of DC/Vertigo's comics. There are worse things your movie could do, but it doesn’t help make the story memorable. There's got a mystery that leads to a big threat, which is a good spine to build your skeleton upon. We’re introduced to several rules about the world. Turns out that God and the Devil (Peter Stormare) are competing for mankind’s souls and that neither demons nor angels can directly interfere; they only “influence” people. “Half-breed” angels and demons can walk around doing what they want, however, and when they go too far, Constantine puts them back in their place. He’s doing this to win himself a spot in Heaven. Our favorite exorcist has terminal lung cancer - that’s what you get for smoking non-stop. Maybe this case will be the one to get him his golden ticket. I dunno. Doesn’t it feel like more could be done with this? When you boil it down, Constantine isn’t much deeper than End of Days with Arnold Schwarzenegger and is that really where we want to be?

It’s the details of the world that wind up interesting us in the end. The visions of Hell we see are unique. It’s like a perpetual nuclear sandstorm ripping apart a parallel Earth, with damned souls squirming in agony below while demons prowl about. Getting there requires you to perform simple but convincing-looking rituals, which is one of the standout moments. Rachel Weisz and Keanu Reeves have some pretty good chemistry, even if it would be a cliché for her to fall for a man who didn’t even hold the elevator door open for her the first time they met. Pruitt Taylor Vince as Father Hennessy has an inventive encounter with a demon. Shia LaBeouf plays Chas Kramer, Constantine’s driver and apprentice but he’s gone for such large chunks of the movie you wonder why he was even included. Tilda Swinton has a memorable but small role as the Archangel Gabriel. At this point, I feel like I’m just going through a list of things about the movie, which anyone could do… but maybe that’s all there is to say. How does the movie make you feel? Excited while Constantine is shooting demons with his cross-shaped gun or punching them with holy brass knuckles, I guess. Intrigued when we’re piecing together the clues behind Isabel’s death, I guess. Not exactly a rousing endorsement but the film is not boring. It moves, you want to see what’s coming next and once it’s over, it’s out of your mind.   Could it be that I’m nostalgic for Constantine? I do remember seeing it when it was released on DVD. In fact, I specifically remember buying it. I went to HMV looking for V for Vendetta. This was going to mark my official transition from VHS to discs and when I got to the store, I saw they had an exclusive 2-pack that included Constantine for free. Maybe that’s what's tipping me over the scale; the fact that I didn’t have to pay anything to see this film. If you decide to check it out, stay all the way to the end of the credits for a bonus scene. (August 16, 2022)

[bella-don-birdy]

I need one of those fic where instead of Peter Parker getting thrown into the DCU verse, I need Stiles from teen wolf. He’s smart enough to get by, unlucky enough to be kidnapped, adopt-napped. My guy is ending up on someone’s radar guaranteed and it would be even funnier if Constantine was just freaking out cause “That’s.. a spark, why/how/when the heck did that happen!?” And like Stiles is still probably doing the whole snooping into the supernatural, and everything here too on purpose or maybe it’s just his luck rearing it nasty head.

Imagine Jason teaches him how to summon the all-Blades, or Constantine teaches him magic before sending him home.

IF he had a home left to go back too. (Summoning the angst)

[morethanonepage]

Do you have any opinions on modern day John's music tastes? I'm usually annoyed when they don't update them from the original time period. Like, sex pistols? Rly?

lmfao I actually think it makes sense, at his core John is a white english boy, ofc he'd be into the 'classics' of a genre* (and the Sex Pistols/Ramones era really IS the start of the punk genre) before being willing to explore anything more modern/of his own time period. like i would also believe him as a music snob who prefers vinyl to CD/digital music (i'm more 🙄 on him using the ipod in the Constantine show, for instance, but I also think it's implied Chas maybe have both brought and put it together for him).

of course i think comics hellblazer canon is that he's into the pistols' bc he was at that classic 1976 show in Manchester (I may have just made this up, it may just be *my* headcanon), modern john's backstory would probably be that he was a pretentious little weirdo rebelling against what would've been the most in opposition to pop music in the early 90s, got into local punk music, and then went looking for whatever ~the classics were. like i think he'd likely be a fan of local music/more modern punk as well but being a baseline Pistols' fanboy makes sense to me.

*also have to point out the most obnoxious show!john thing which is when he complains about reggae music when it's so closely tied to the history of punk. like, specifically with Johnny Rotten even. Bizarre writing choice imo, either the writers of the show didn't know that or they did and were making a real statement about John's white englishman blindspots of not knowing/respecting POC history & influence on stuff he likes [which is also supported by him being such a snob about the folk magic in the infamous mexico city episodes of the show, and the "magpie of magic" comment from Papa Midnite.] given his background i don't think it's shocking that john constantine is terrible re: intersectionality but it's worth remembering as one of his flaws (though: i think he's actually better about it in the comics).

[floral-giant]

Quick Recs! - Birds of Prey #1 - 3

Featuring a team-up of Black Canary, Batgirl, Big Barda, Harley Quinn, and Zealot, Birds of Prey issues #1 - 3 are an absolute blast.

Having come into these books with little-to-no knowledge of most of the cast, I can assure you that no prior knowledge is necessary to enjoy this run. Every member of the team is charismatic, the writing is a joy to read, and the mission - Black Canary trying to save her adopted sister from the Amazons - is easy to jump into.

The art in these books is fantastic and offers a very classic feel. Alongside the vibrant and bombastic colors, some of the page and panel layouts are just an absolute joy to look at.

At the end of the day, Birds of Prey issues #1 - 3 present readers with a bunch of gals being pals and kicking butt. What more could you really need?

(P.S. There's also a little cameo from Constantine - who I love - so that's a plus!)

[werewolfteacher]

What I Read: Sandman Universe Presents John Constantine Hellblazer: Dead in America

[vidreview]

VIDEO ESSAY ROUNDUP #6 [PART 2]

[originally posted august 1st 2024 NOTE: while migrating the archive from cohost i've discovered that tumblr has a 10 link-block limit, which means i have to split some of these roundups up in order to maintain the embeds. we love websites don't we folks]

"New Zelda isn't Zelda" by Eroymak.

it's novel to see one of these shot in the mountains! vibes like a younger, ganglier nakeyjakey. i like to imagine that there's an escalating war of spectacle happening between white outdoorsy middle-class nerds all trying to one-up each other by casually filming an otherwise anodyne video essay in increasingly precarious locales. how long until a 22 year old DJ from Wisconsin dies on the slopes of Everest trying to film an essay about Mario 1-1? who's going to be the first human being to levy a citation-heavy critique of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead while skydiving? how long until Shiey accidentally loses Jacob Geller down an abandoned mine shaft? anyway, Eroymak is extremely correct here about what makes modern Zelda games a drag, namely that their "go anywhere do anything" attitude ruins the sense of progression that once defined the franchise. i worry about this with the upcoming Echoes of Wisdom, which seems to be applying the Of The games' open toolset philosophy to the 2D Zelda template, but i digress. for being only 7 minutes and 20 seconds, this is a pretty succinct and broadly comprehensive summation of why the open world Zeldas lack a certain magic that was once so easily flaunted by their forebears.

"so that's why they cut all her scenes from the movie" by CinemaStix.

i've seen CinemaStix videos in my recommended feed multiple times and avoided them like the plague. i mean, come on. "CinemaStix"? at a glance this conjures a monstrous Third-Way chimera betwixt CinemaSins and CinemaWins, and i would sooner stave my own head in with a rock than give such a thing the time of day. EXCEPT… Constantine 2005 is one of my favorite comic book movies. i saw it in theaters and it changed me. in the years since, i've defended Constantine's honor from the haters to little avail (thankfully the tides have turned in recent years and people are realizing that they totally missed the second-best John Wick movie), and it's top of my list of fun movies to show guests when we're bored. this special interest overrode my kneejerk book-cover judgment survival mechanism, and i'm so mad that i don't regret it. this video is about the editing of Constantine 2005, and how many of the film's iconic moments were constructed in post. as the title suggests, a substantial amount of time is spent trying to understand why an entire character was ultimately cut, a question that's also plagued me ever since watching the deleted scenes on the DVD in 10th grade. whether you've seen Constantine 2005 or not, this is an excellent portrait of editing as a substantive authorial process. i've since gone and watched multiple CinemaStix videos, and god damn it, these are some quality essays. sometimes popular things are good, she said grumpily.

"Conservative Comedy Ruined My Life" by Big Joel.

oops, can you tell this vidrev roundup has been sitting in my drafts for a long time? this video came out on April 2nd of 2024 and has nearly 2.5 million views, so i won't belabor the point. this is a great deconstruction of conservative comedy that looks hard into why so much of it sucks beyond the empty platitudes endemic to smarmy liberals. it's some of Big Joel's best work in my opinion.

"On Online Entitlement" by CJ The X.

an excellent autopsy of the rhetorical implications of an overly familiar instagram comment-- a description that i know probably sounds obnoxious, but genuinely is not the case. Mx. The X goes to great lengths to assure us that this is not about the person who left the comment, but the various attitudes and assumptions that are implied in its construction. gen z essayists in particular seem to specialize in this sort of editorial post-game breakdown of the things people say when they think they're saying something else, and i think they're always worth paying attention to. consider this something of a downstream epilogue to Shannon Strucci's seminal Fake Friends series. even as i don't always agree with the totality of their conclusions, i do always come away from CJ The X videos feeling like i've learned something about how i and other internet-dwelling social animals think.

"How Uber Is Destroying Food Delivery" by More Perfect Union.

More Perfect Union is not typically in the business of video essays, focusing more on feature stories that heavily rely on interviews and on-the-ground reporting. this one's a unique development in that it is just straight up a video essay, using the business model of Uber as an avenue for understanding Corey Doctorow's theory of platform decay (except he calls it Enshittification because god forbid 21st century materialist philosophy grow out of its twee blogosphere adolescence). if you know the theory then there's probably not gonna be much here that surprises you, but i felt it a notable inclusion nevertheless.

do you have recommendations for video essays i might not have seen, new or old? well my askbox is open and i'm always looking for ways to penetrate my experiential-algorithmic youtube bubble. hope you found something enjoyable in this collection, see you in the next one!

<- ROUNDUP #5

[thatgeekwiththeclipons]

Happy 60th Birthday to actor Keanu Reeves! ^__^

[twosentencereviews]

Constantine: 6/10

Keanu doesn't quite pull off the antihero here; he's too clean, likable, and American to properly play the Hellblazer. I appreciate the neo-noir style they were going for here, but mixing mystery with fantasy means the stakes are not established until quite late in the film.

[fishareglorious]

Am I doomed to suffer toxic doomed yuri starvation in the Constantine/madam Z ship? (Other than some fanarts ofcourse, but I know fanfiction is absolutely dry on that one)

Unless there's gonna be a groundbreaking category 5 lesbian event between Z and Constantine at one point, then 😔 yeah. The nation will continue to starve. Such is our fates, unfortunately.