#constance when she realized lifes greatness

[real-odark]

ride the cyclone as these emojis

[pynkfairyheart]

Pairings: connie x black reader

Warnings: smut 18+ Connie's a lil toxic, mentions of a gun, pretty angsty

pt.2 to birthday girl but can be read as a standalone

Miss you

Constance Springer. The man who was once the source of your happiness though recently the source of your frustration and headaches.

“I just don't get it, Con. You take me on these amazing dates, buy me anything that catches my attention, and say you wanna spend the rest of your life with me, yet when I ask to publicly announce we’re together, which I shouldn't have to, you always brush it aside.” You spoke as calmly as possible. Though considering this was the 4th time this week you were having this conversation your calm tone resembled shouting.

It had been five months since your birthday. Five months since Connie gave you the best gift you could ever think of. Himself.

The first four months felt as if you were on cloud nine. The entire duration it was as if you were conjoined at the hip. Connie had to make a couple of drops? There you were in his passenger seat watching a movie or using his card to pay for the large quantity of your cart.

You needed to go make up a missed exam? Connie was waiting in his car with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. The only time you weren't seen together was if he was doing something he didn't want you involved in or if he was out buying you secret lavish gifts such as the car he got you a week after your birthday. Life was great.

It wasn't til you were at your nail appointment with Mika where she nearly cut you with her clippers from shock the moment you brought up your relationship with Connie, that you realized no one knew about it.

At first, you were confused. How could no one know? You were always together but the more you thought about it you started to understand. Whenever you were out he wasn't as affectionate as when it was just the two of you, just a few touches that could easily be considered friendly, but you just brushed it off as him not being comfortable with PDA.

Even when you went on dates he'd buy the entire venue or restaurant out so it'd be just you two or would plan the nicest dates at the house, either way, no one saw you on dates as a couple.

You thought about it for a while before it finally ate you up and you just had to ask. His response was the reason shit went left.

“Whatchu mean let people know we’re together? Ion want people in our business. I'm yours and you're mine, that's all that matters” He brushed it off with a kiss on your forehead before running to go get some eggs around the corner. He was only gone for ten minutes yet in that time frame you went through hundreds of different reasons as to why he responded that way.

At first, you were confused. Then, you were trying to reassure yourself he's right as long as we know then we straight. But immediately after that thought came anger why the fuck doesn't he want people to know? Am I the fuckin side chick?

By the time Connie came back you were fuming. You trusted Connie, the night he asked you to be his he promised you he'd never do anything to hurt you yet you couldn't deny how suspicious this was. He barely had time to lock the door behind him before you started with your questions.

“You cheating on me Constance?”

“What?” He almost gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned, looking at you as if you had said the stupidest shit ever which in his mind you did.

“You heard me. Are you cheating?” You followed him into the kitchen of his apartment.

“No [☆] I'm not cheating. I needa take you to the ER? Cause it sounds like you hit your head while I was gone”

“Then why don't you wanna tell anyone?”

“About us?”

“Duh”

“I already told you, mami, I don't want people all up in our business”

That was two weeks ago and you guys were nowhere near in a better place. By no means were you insecure. You knew Connie loved you and only you but you wanted others to know as well. It's not like you wanted to leak one of your many sex tapes on IG. You just wanted at least your friend group to know you were together. Connie wasn't having it though.

“Mama lower your tone” He groaned. Inked hands rubbing his face from frustration.

“Just tell me, Con. Why don't you want anyone to know?”

“Is it wrong to wanna keep our relationship private? I love you princess but you buggin’ for real. Drop it”

“You know what. Fuck this, nd fuck you too. There's a big fucking difference between private and secret.” You slammed his bedroom door. This was too much. You couldn't take it anymore; it was as if he was ashamed of you. You loved Connie, you really, really loved him but this hurt, the constant drop of your heart whenever he let go of your hand the moment you stepped out of his apartment complex or whenever a girl flirted with him in front of the group but there was nothing you could do. You were done. No amount of love could make you settle for anything less than you knew you deserved.

Despite your teary eyes you managed to pull yourself together. Grabbing your bag, you packed as much as possible before finally exiting the room.

Connie was in the middle of rolling a blunt when he saw you walk out, he would have been convinced that his heart was lying on the couch when he stood up if it wasn't for the loud thumping in his ears.

“Where are you going?” He stood in your way

“Connie please move” You sniffled

“No, not until you tell me where you're going. Please [☆] lo siento, mami, por favor, no te vayas please don't go” His voice cracked as reality hit him. Dropping to his knees, his hands gripped the soft flesh of your hips.

“I promise to be better, I promise. I will call everyone on my phone and tell them about us right now, please don't go” At this point, you had to look away. His tear-stricken face and Spanish almost had you fold.

“We'll work this out ma, estaré mejor, lo prometo I'll be better, I promise”

“No, we can't Connie. Not right now” And with that, you left.

A month had passed so far. It was rough in the beginning. He blew your phone up 24/7 to the point where you had to block him. You couldn't eat, and whenever you did have the energy to stay awake you did nothing but scroll on your phone, your thumb always finding the photo album where you stored all pictures of Connie.

Sasha and Mikasa finally had enough, while Mika was the only one you told Sasha had a pretty good idea after she went to visit Connie only to find him in the same state as you, maybe even worse. Deciding you needed to leave the walls of your apartment and have fun, they finally convinced you to go out. Taking a couple of pregame shots while shaking ass in the mirror, your outfit leaving nothing to the imagination as you finally felt ready to face reality.

By the time you had arrived at the party, the drinks started to kick in and you grabbed the first sexy guy you saw and dragged him to the dance floor.

Unknown to you Connie was also at the party, standing in the corner as he made a few deals. He looked tired, and he was. The moment the door closed behind you he broke down. Ignoring all of the calls and texts he got from clients as he sat there. He was angry. Angry at you for leaving him but mostly angry at himself for fucking up.

When Connie finally caught sight of you it was as if someone had finally flipped the switch on throughout his body. His heart sped up, his posture straightened and his dick twitched at the sight of your body in the dress.

His dick wasn't the only thing twitching. When it finally registered to Connie that you were letting some random guy touch you as you whined on him, his eye twitched and his hand immediately went to his gun.

He was furious. With zero fucks he approached you, the barrel of his gun pressed against the guy who you were currently throwing it back on.

When you no longer felt the swaying of the man behind you, you turned to be met with the fear-frozen stranger and Connie whispering something in his ear. You didn't have time to ask what was going on before the guy scurried off and Connie roughly grabbed your arm, dragging you out of the house party.

Despite the fact you were no longer together and he had no right to drag you away, you stayed quiet. Connie rarely got angry but when he did you knew it was best to just stay quiet.

“Get in the fucking car [☆]” He threw open the door. You were convinced the thong you had on was completely drenched after those six words. His voice was low and threatening and you almost felt disgusting from how turned on you were. Almost. With one look into his rage-filled eyes, you got in the car, the door slamming behind you when he was sure you were safely in.

He quickly got in, tire tracks marking the ground as he sped off. It was silent for a minute before you decided to speak, once his grip on the steering wheel loosened and the color returned to his knuckles.

“Connie?” You faced him, eyes burning into the side of his head as he kept his dark stare on the road.

“Connie, come on. You can't just kidnap me and then not speak. Pull over and talk to me now” You huffed.

With a roll of his eyes, he pulled into a deserted parking lot.

“Hello? Either you get to talking or I'm getting out nd calling an Uber”

“No the fuck you're not” He groaned loudly, eyes meeting yours.

“Then talk” You borderline yelled

If Connie's hair was long enough to grip he'd have a couple bald spots from how frustrated he was. He gave you both time to cool down before he spoke.

“Look I'm sorry for dragging you away, and for threatening your lil boyfriend-”

“He's not my boyfriend”

“He's not?”

“No. Continue your apology” You rolled your eyes.

Your response had a smirk forming on his face. He missed you so much, even your attitude.

“I missed you ma. I'm sorry for dragging you away. I'm also sorry for how things ended.” He grabbed your hand.

“I now understand your feelings and your concerns and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like I was ashamed of you or if there was another woman. You're the love of my life ma, this past month has been pure hell. I need you baby. Please take me back.” His hands were shaking as they held yours securely. It was rare to see Connie cry, and the sight of his tear-streaked face made your heart ache. He really did love you.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you asked the one question that started it all.

“Be real Con. Why didn't you want anyone to know?”

With a sigh, he rubbed his facial hair.

“I was afraid you'd realize you could do better”

“What? What made you think that Con?”

“I sell drugs for a living, mami, I'm involved with a shit ton of dangerous people. I was afraid when others found out they'd start telling you things about me and you'd realize you can do so much better”

“Oh, Connie” You could no longer resist the need to be close to him. Maneuvering yourself so you sat in his lap you cupped his face as your eyes searched his.

“Papa there is no one better. I love you so much, Connie. There is nothing anyone could ever say to make me want or love you less because I know you. I know how much you care and love those around you. There is no one better, Connie.”

For some time, the two of you were wrapped in each other's arms as you faced your emotions.

When you both were calm, you finally dared to look into his eyes. The energy shift resembling the one from your birthday.

“Con” You slowly inched your face closer to his

“I'm sorry for all the hurt I put us through mami” His hand wrapped around your neck

“Déjame compensarte let me make it up to you” He closed the space between you.

It felt like the first breath taken after being underwater for a long time. You felt alive, felt loved. The once slow kiss grew into something more passionate. Both of you needy, as you fiend for dominance in the heated exchange.

Ultimately you lost the battle when his hands gripped your hips tightly as if to assure himself you weren't leaving again. It wasn't soon after that you found yourself in the back of his car with your legs resting on his shoulder as he drilled into you.

He littered kisses on your ankle as his grip on your hips tightened. His thick cock stretching you out had your eyes rolling back and moans of ecstasy coming out of your agape mouth.

“Yeah? You doing so good fa me ma. You miss this? Miss how good I fuck you?” His thumb found its way to your clit.

“Fuck, Connie” You whined. Attempting to push his hand away from the sensitive bud.

“Answer me princesa or ima stop” He warned

“Yes, Connie- mhmph I miss it so bad papi oh my god” Your velvety walls squeezed him tight.

"Fuuuck. Don't ever leave me again, you hear me? I can't take it, baby, I love you too much. T-try that shit again nd Imma make you watch while I put a bullet in between his eyes. Understand?” His pace increased.

God that shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did. You were convinced you could have come on the spot, the added pressure on your carotids when you didn't answer immediately wasn't any help.

“Y-yes Con, I promise it won't happen again” You managed to say in between the moans and whimpers that you no longer had the energy to contain.

“Keep squeezing me, mami. I'm so fuckin close” He groaned, hand no longer on your neck as it rested against the steamy windows to stable himself.

The atmosphere of the car was pure filth. Your moans bounced off the windows, the sloshing sound of your wet pussy and slapping skin that created the creamy ring around the base of cock topping it all off.

His thrusts were slowly getting sloppy, you were just squeezing him so tight.

“C-Con” You managed to gasp out, the marks he littered on your neck to suppress his whimpers, having the coil in your belly tighten.

“I know mama, let go fa me” He groaned.

That instant you came, eyes rolling to the back of your head for a quick second as your cream and small spurts of squirt leaked from your pussy.

“Shit mama” He panted, dick twitching as he painted your walls with his cum.

Connie being the lover boy he was despite repeatedly denying it whispered apologies, and sweet promises into your ear as you came down from your high.

“I'm sorry mami, I promise to be better” He kissed you softly as if you were in a fairytale before whispering in your ear.

“But don't think just cus we're good now, that I'm not gon tear that ass up when we get home for giving that loser a taste of what's mine.”

I dont know how i feel about this one buuutttt all thanks to @masterofthepp for giving me this idea. Hopefully it meets your standards babes. As always any feedback is welcome. mwah

[incesthemes]

it's so great that the pilot episode of supernatural features a monster born out of anguish toward her husband's infidelity. and even greater that sam is the one targeted by her—implying then that sam has been unfaithful.

the show opens with the themes of infidelity and returning home. sam takes the central role in the conflict here and must make a choice to return home.

he stands on the threshold of two homes: family, where he comes from, and stanford, where he's forged a life for himself. his internal conflict is made manifest by the woman in white: like constance, he wants to go home, but he can't. the "home" sam can't return to shifts over the course of the episode. in the beginning, it's the family he can't return to, but by the end of the episode, it's his normal apple-pie life at stanford. these two homes are embodied by jess and dean, who both want him to come back to them.

the home distorts and melds with the lover as a result: jess literally occupies both spaces, which implies that dean occupies both as well. and then the woman in white attacks sam, targets him for his perceived infidelity, or potential for it. but who is it that he's unfaithful to, then? to jess, because he ran off with his brother? or to dean, because he abandoned him for jess?

but sam hasn't been unfaithful yet—he hasn't made his decision, hasn't chosen which home he'll return to. when the woman in white can't leave the impala, he realizes that she's scared to go home. it's a turning point in the literal plot and for sam's internal conflict. he voices his fear of returning home. this as a result implicates which "home" he will inevitably return to.

it's immediately after this realization that constance attacks him. he hasn't been unfaithful—yet. perhaps constance recognizes that sam's perception of home is shifting here, that "home" is no longer jess and has once again become dean. he's on the precipice of infidelity, and the ghost has seen the ending: "you will be."

sam drives the impala, the car he was raised in, the car he has called home, into constance's house and saves the day.

after this, sam becomes reluctant to go back to stanford. his surety from the beginning of the episode has become hesitant as he struggles to choose between his two homes. his home has shifted over the weekend, and it's only his sense of obligation that seems to win out at this point.

the woman in white's prophecy is finally fulfilled when sam adopts the revenge quest of his father. he chooses his home: dean. implicitly, this answers the question of who, exactly, sam was unfaithful toward. he leaves jess alone, vulnerable, and open to attack by running off on a weekend tryst with his brother. sam is the unfaithful husband, dean is the temptress, and jess is the dead wife haunting the next five episodes of sam's life. sam chooses dean, his home and his lover.

[isfjmel-phleg]

June 2024 Books

I have been tired and unmotivated most of the month, so I ended up mostly rereading random things, including a lot of pretty light stuff.

The Sylvia Game by Vivien Alcock (reread)

Weird story that may not be Great Literature but continues to be Rebekah Bait.

The Lost Years of Merlin by T. A. Barron

Although the second half of the book didn't work for me as well as the first, I did especially appreciate Emrys/Merlin's relationship with his mother and his struggle with fearing his powers.

The Star That Always Stays by Anna Rose Johnson (reread)

The family relationships of this story are its greatest charm. Believable sibling dynamics, especially. The setting and the style and the general feel of a classic children's story are lovely, and the featuring of a protagonist in the 1910s who has Ojibwe ancestry is fresh and interesting. I found this book still enjoyable the second time around.

Thematically, though, I think there could have been some more nuance. At times, it seemed to veer into dealing with serious emotional concerns like struggling with major life changes beyond one's control by advising Just Stop Being So Negative And Choose Joy--a very simplified solution to a complex concern.

A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag by Gordon Korman (reread)

Another one of those early Korman books that make me wonder if he was familiar with Psmith--this story features both the impersonation of a terrible Canadian poet and the desire to avoid working in an uncle's fish business as a plot-driving motivation.

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's Magic by Betty MacDonald (reread)

I did not grasp as a child how very, very 1950s these stories are!

Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery (reread)

I reread this one with the intention of analyzing its portrayal of emotional neglect, and that is indeed very much there, but I got a bit distracted by realizing that there's an argument for Anne's having ADHD. It would explain a lot of her behaviors. (Why didn't the recent adaptation take that route instead of the nonsense they opted for?)

Spineless by Samantha San Miguel (reread)

Heavier on the adventure than the historical fiction side of things, but good fun, with some nice characterization. There's a sequel coming out this fall that I'm planning to read.

Magic in My Shoes by Constance Savery (reread)

Very light compared to many of Savery's other books, but also very rereadable.

The Memoirs of Jack Chelwood by Constance Savery (reread)

I already talked about this here.

The Reb and the Redcoats by Constance Savery (reread)

I have nothing intelligent to say about this one, but it's always a pleasure to reread.

Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster (reread)

The protagonist's engaging voice makes the letters fun to read, but this time I was deeply weirded out by the romance. She's being groomed by an older man who has financial power over her and whom she views in a parental/guardian-like role, he's pulling all the strings and controlling aspects of her life that are none of his business and keeping her dependent on him, and his in-person interactions with her can be unpleasant also. By the end, I was more worried than happy for her. I think the set-up of "correspondent turns out to be someone you've met in real life and leads to falling in love" can be done in a way that's sincerely romantic (more in the vein of The Shop Around the Corner or You've Got Mail), but this particular version of that plot has not aged well.

When Patty Went to College by Jean Webster (reread)

...so as a refresher I reread this one, which features a lively heroine's escapades at college without a creepy romantic relationship.

The White Feather by P. G. Wodehouse (reread)

See the essay here.

Comics

The Ray 1992 and 1994 (reread)

For the sake of analysis for posts this month. This is the one time of year that DC acknowledges that their current version of Ray (who is practically a different character from the 90s version and exists in a completely different continuity) exists, and that version is rather one-note, so I wanted, at least for my own amusement, to delve into the original version of the character, who is rather multi-faceted.

Wayne Family Adventures Vol. 4 (reread)

I read these as they were released, but I own a print copy now.

Doctor Who: The Eleventh Doctor Vol. 1-2

A gift from my brother! This was my first experience with DW in comic form, and it was fun. I appreciated the presence of a companion who is a library assistant (not a librarian! there's a difference! and don't I know it).

The Flash Vol. 9: Full Stop

I picked this up at a library book sale quite a while ago when I was still able to go to those :/ This is post-Flashpoint stuff, I think? and I'm very post-Crisis in my leanings, so it was confusing for me without full context.

Superboy Book One: Trouble in Paradise (reread)

This is the only collection of Kon's solo, covering #1-10 and #0. It begins with Knockout and ends with him and Tana starting to officially date. I've read these issues before multiple times, but they will never not be worrying.

Batman: Under the Red Hood: The Deluxe Edition (partial reread)

All the feels. Can I please erase from my brain what happens between Jason and Talia though.

[bootstrapparadoxed]

A Botanical Daughter by Noah Medlock

Genres: historical fantasy, horror, queer romance Rating: 8/10 Spoiler-free review: This book was a lot of fun! I really enjoyed reading about people who live in a glasshouse botanical garden – I love botanical gardens and this is such a whimsical and magical premise. There was not that much horror but the gory scenes really stood out and will probably stay in my memory for a while. The theme of found family is well-integrated into the story and I was rooting for the main characters until the very end, even through their very questionable actions. The prose is delightful and enjoyable to read. My only complaints are that the ending was rather abrupt and kind of anticlimactic and I feel like the relationship between the two protagonists could have been developed more. Overall, a great read.

Spoilers under the cut

Oh boy, I need to organize my thoughts. Well first of all, as a fan of all things Frankenstein-inspired, A+ on the creature. I love when Frankenstein-inspired/retelling books twist the original premise a bit and have the creature be cared for by its creators. In this book, the creature is actually treated like a daughter by the two protagonists, and as a close friend first and then a lover by the side character, Jennifer (or is Jennifer the third protagonist?). Although some of them are scared of the creature Chloe for some of the time, they still treat her with respect up until the end. That was a refreshing take! A similar thing happens in another Frankenstein retelling I read recently, “Our Hideous Progeny” – check it out if you like this subgenre as well.

Second, I don’t know how I feel about Simon’s and Gregor’s relationship. At times it was hard to understand why are they together in the first place, especially later in the book when Gregor starts acting more and more like an asshole. Simon is kind of autistic coded so I understand why he isn’t very expressive or emotional (same tbh) but Gregor is also rather distant and cold. I guess they are a typical Victorian couple. A funny if a bit perplexing aspect of this book is how Jenny doesn’t realize for a while that Gregor and Simon are a couple, and Simon and Gregor don’t realize that Jenny is in love with Chloe (or that she was in love with Constance). Gregor in general is kind of an unlikable character, but I love reading about assholes so I was on board with it.

Third, I did not like the ending very much. It felt rather abrupt and kind of out of nowhere. I knew the plot was going in the direction of Jenny running away with Chloe for some time, but I feel like Jenny’s relationship with Chloe did not have enough room to develop and the sex scene happened out of nowhere. The sex scene itself is great, I just feel like the plot jumped a few steps in regards to their connection. It makes sense that Chloe killed Jenny in the end (not really her fault, I don’t think the mycelium fully understands the difference between life and death), but I thought it was a bit cruel to then lock the mycelium in another glasshouse. I don’t know what the alternative would be – perhaps the mycelium escaping would be much worse – but the way it is, I felt sad for the mycelium. Maybe I root for villains too much, who knows.

Overall though, this is a great book and a highly recommend it! I will be checking out whatever the author writes next for sure.

[joneleslament]

I'm quite bored so I'm gonna explain my Danganronpa x Ride the Cyclone AU(They're not exactly tight-casted to the characters, The most they take from the character's directly is their songs)

The Amazing Karnak - Monodam

Out of everyone among the Monokubs and Monokuma, Monodam seems like he'd be the only one who'd be willing to give them a chance to compete for another chance at life

No hate to anyone who casted Monokuma as Karnak, But Monokuma would never give these kids the chance

Virgil the Rat - Monokid

Monokid plays guitar and has a distaste for Monodam, Therefore, Motive to just kill him for kicks. Need I say more?

Ocean Rosenberg - Rantaro Amami

You need to hear me out. People always cast Miu or Angie as Ocean when frankly, Rantaro would match with the motive. He hardly knows any of the other contestants(Since he died first and didn't really get to know anyone) and his whole motivation for "What the World Needs" in the first place, Would be his sisters because of his determination and debt feeling that drives him to want to find them

Noel Gruber - Korekiyo Shinguji

Not motivated by his sister thing. "Noel's Lament" would more be motivated by like a want to live a life without her, And using the symbolism of the French Hooker

Idk he was a last resort since I had nobody else who fit

Mischa Bachinski - Angie Yonaga

Your gonna look at me and tell me that it isn't perfect? I doubt I need to explain.

Natalia Bolinski - Tsumugi Shirogane

"Talia" was cut from this considering every character would be there even if they weren't competing(They participate in the unanimous vote and serve as ensemble) but it deserved an honorary mention

Richard (Ricky) Potts - Kokichi Ouma

I've seen people make Shuichi or Kiibo Ricky which really doesn't make sense to me. Kokichi definitely would be more Seattle "Space Age Bachelor Man" than the cast recording version, Saving earth feels more his speed instead of becoming a superhero sex god on a cat planet. Also he wouldn't take it too seriously because he highly doubts anyone will vote for him anyway, So why not go out with a bang?

Jane Doe - Maki Harukawa

I always see people make Tsumugi Jane, When it makes more sense to make a survivor Jane considering the fact she comes back to life. And since in the context of the killing game, Everyone would know anyone else died, But using a survivor would give mystery of not knowing what the fuck happened(Cause you can't exactly make anyone a Jane or John Doe in this context so their motive could be more the mystery of not knowing anything about how you died)

Constance Blackwood - Miu Iruma

Constance's whole shtick is being outcasted and only really known for like one thing and growing sour for that. THAT'S MIU'S WHOLE THING BASICALLY. The whole cast really only uses her for her inventor talent then shuns and ignores her after she finishes something for them, Miu would definitely grow annoyed of that

For how or why she accepted everything about her life is actually undecided but it could probably be because she lost it all and realized how great it was after death like Constance did but idk

So, Yeah, Here

[dluebirb]

A Choir Now Complete

@chompersbrainrot here's the fic I was telling you about! It's going to be a two/three parter :P

@badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Hurt Caretaker

Fandom: Ride the Cyclone

Word Count: 1187

Pairings: N/A

Summary: My own "The Choir Actually Survived, F*ck You" AU, told through the eyes of the choir.

Content Warnings: Swearing, semi-graphic descriptions of gore and near-death experiences.

A/N: This is my first time ever writing RTC characters!

Chapter One: The Tragedy - Brought to You by Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg and Noel Gruber

Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg didn’t exactly feel great about riding The Cyclone. But the others had been raring at the bit to go on it, and it was Constance’s favorite ride, so who was she to refuse?

Well. She was Ocean O’Conell Rosenburg, that was who she was. But not going on the damn ride suffered the risk of Noel calling her a chicken, so you did what you had to do in such a case! Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg was not a chicken.

But when the screeching metal sounds and sparks began to fly, Ocean knew, with a sinking feeling in her gut, that she was right, as the others smiled from ear to ear.

The dips and dives did nothing to dissuade her nerves, and it wasn’t until they were approaching the apex of the loop-de-loop that someone gasped in realization: Without turning, she knew it had been Penny. A split second later, Penny let out a wailing scream, and someone scrambled to keep her in her seat, presumably Ricky.

“What the—PENNY!” Noel shouted, and Ocean felt he was about to do something stupid.

“Head down!” Mischa shouted over the screaming of metal on metal, and as Ocean turned to hug Constance close to her, she glanced at the others. Noel and Mischa were as terrified as she had ever seen either of them, and Penny was bleeding from the neck, poor Ricky struggling to keep her body in the car.

She felt the car derail before she saw it.

Before she saw the track behind them.

Before she saw Noel’s eyes expand and catch hers, the imminent realization and acceptance of what was happening as he and Mischa clung to each other.

Before Ricky’s mouth became a thin line, he closed his eyes and pulled Penny as close as he could.

Before Constance stopped smiling.

Before she could feel the tears in her own eyes.

Her stomach lurched, and she, Noel, and Mischa screamed bloody murder, tucking their heads as low as possible.

The fall took a terrifyingly long time.

Ocean almost thought it wouldn’t happen, so she opened her eyes. She only just made eye contact with the booth of the animatronic fortune teller and could have sworn that it looked back dolefully, with many a regret (which was impossible, she knew) before the ground hit.

In the split second before Ocean’s eyes shut, she wondered if there was any use in being right this time. It certainly hadn’t saved any of them. She couldn’t even rub it in their faces this time. It had only rendered her a scared, screaming mess, clinging to the only person who tolerated her, much less called her their friend, with the realization that, statistically speaking, they were doomed from the start.

When the screams, liquid, and sense of wrongness breached his nervous system, Noel Gruber was already doubly aware that something was terribly wrong.

He blinked twice, consequences be damned, and opened his eyes blearily, only the discover that the liquid he had felt was heaps of blood adorning the area. He tried to sit up and discovered two things:

For one, every part of his body hurt, and his ribs were not as they should be.

For another, something was holding his leg down.

He turned his head and saw that his leg (which already hurt like Christ on a goddamned bike) was trapped under Mischa. He recalled as they had fallen, clinging to him out of fear for his own life, as their screams filled his ears.

Oh, shit.

How was he alive?

Though it didn’t really matter how he’d survived, he realized. If he didn’t move, then he’d surely die for real. He braced his other foot against Mischa’s back and pushed against him.

“Hey. Hey! Wake up, man! Come on! Get… Up!”

He managed to kick Mischa off, not that it did him much good. He shook Mischa several times, muttering his name as many times as this agonized throat let him before he showed any sign of raising.

“No. Five minutes.”

“Sorry, no can do. I’m down an leg, and we’ve got a job to do.”

Perhaps at his weird phrasing, or perhaps at the breathy rasping that Noel’s voice had become, Mischa opened his eyes, and Noel moved to face him properly. Gratuitous amounts of blood covered his temples and scalp. The boy’s hand went to his head, and his eyes blew wide as he drew it away and saw that the appendage was completely drenched in blood.

“Shit.”

He looked around, and Noel could see the gears turning in his head.

“Shit…” he repeated, and Noel echoed him.

“Shit.”

Noel wavered on his good leg, as he tried to pull himself to standing up.

“Shouldn’t you two try lying down?” Noel turned and saw a few people gathering in morbid curiosity at a distance. The voice had come from a concerned middle-aged woman, and after a cursory glance, he spotted a cell phone sticking out of her sweater pocket.

As Mischa began pulling himself up, Noel stumbled forward, almost falling on his face over Ocean’s body, which made him swallow harshly.

“Whoa! Careful, son,” another voice said, but he didn’t turn to find out as he staggered to the side before finding his balance, dragging his bad leg behind him, and putting a bloodied arm on the woman’s shoulder.

“Call an ambulance,” he managed, and on second thought, added, “Please.”

The woman nodded fervently, eyes as wide as Mischa’s had been. “Yes, of course! But you really need to sit down, you could—”

“Just call… Call a doctor or something!” He said breathlessly, and began to pull Ocean away from the wreckage and the remnants of what he assumed to be the front of the cart.

However, he didn’t manage to get far, and his legs crumpled beneath him. He hissed through his teeth, and slung Ocean over his back, and crawled towards a clear area.

He was only all too aware of how much his legs were hurting as they scraped against the sharp ground. Blood from Oceans body added to the horrific scene as Noel willed himself to stay awake.

As they reached the clear area, he slid Ocean off his back, and she landed face up. Her legs were mangled, and looked punched in. He winced, and braced himself against the ground with his shaking arms. Mischa was exchanging gruff words with the onlookers, and out of the corner of his eye, Noel spotted him dragging Penny Whats-Her-Face, the new girl, from some debris.

The world was getting very blurry, like he was flitting in and out of being, until he couldn’t resist anymore, and collapsed onto his side. Taking a bit of comfort in the slight rise and fall of Ocean’s chest, the last thing he heard before his eyes shut was Mischa, about as panicked as he’d ever heard him.

[godblooded]

hey guys. gonna have a moment and do a good old fashioned kat speak from the heart post so here we go.

i’m so fuckin’ thankful for all of you. thanks be so much to those of you who have stuck by me. thanks be to those of you who love me. thanks be to those of you who so much as spare me a positive thought in your day. i’m grateful to exist here in a space where even when i’m going through a lot and i disappear, i’m welcomed back so beautifully and so openly.

it’s been a difficult go of it. this is the very first time in my life i’m learning myself, and that’s a very complicated thing to try to do at 32. the concept of ‘having things figured out’ isn’t quite a logical concept at all nowadays.

i’m grateful for learning i can be loved, and in a huge way a lot of you have contributed to that. @shelassos is always so supportive and always has a kind word when i really need it like intrinsically. @crimeloyalty is one of the most marvelous writers i know, and has rekindled in me an old love of something i didn’t even know came true for me (yeah, batquinn is very dear to my heart and i’m not kidding when i say it’s so healing to think something that beautiful i always wanted came true???). @rekhenung is my brother, the person who i can confidently say we’re on a forever journey together, and whenever i look over there you are, and making me prouder every day. @inexactexpiration has been a close, close, close, very bestie brother mine for so long i got to see him get married, and witnessing and feeling his happiness was my greatest joy. @vorcotec is one of my most cherished people and no matter what, i’ll never ever feel like i can do anything but go to rabbit as though nothing has ever changed. @bornbreathless has made me want to write my goddamn oc again, truly. has made me realize i can make something worthwhile, and inspired so much of the development that kitty would not be who she is without you today. @misereternal has always been the best of all and any, standing by no matter how many ages i tend to disappear for. and so talented at sparking my creativity— at making me feel loved when i need it the most. without my fox shaped sibling sometimes i don’t think i’d know what it felt like to feel accepted. @zloslwy might only just be someone i’m speaking to now closely, but i’ve always admired with such great ferocity the talent and unabashed passion they attack every character of theirs, and i find myself more often than not inspired just by reading their work. @pessimistics has been wonderfully welcoming to a passion i have for a show i have not seen simply because i developed a passion for a character from said show i have not seen only through hart’s work. rustin’s so important to me, and i mean that, and i only know what you’ve written. @atrohphy is a constancy i cannot tell you how much i adore— not just a bright light, but a person i always feel like i can say practically anything to. pitch anything to, and receive back some ingenuity. @villainsrph is someone i met through a fucking accidental giveaway and to this day i can’t go through a moment without thinking about spending two hours on a random friend date in burrito bar having what i still consider one of the most fun times of my life, and i always feel welcome with briar, who has a talent for making everyone feel welcome. @asteritm has left me messages that at times have legitimately saved my entire day from the depths, and sometimes just straight up saved me. @parameddie is one of the most intelligently thought out writers i’ve ever, ever seen and i’m in love with every single thing ric writes because all of it is fascinating. all of it is driven by such a powerfully analytical lens— none of her characters are ever just characters, but they’re studies, too. @jokethur does such beautiful writing that there isn’t a day goes by i don’t find myself idly scrolling headcanons just out of curiosity limitless. i think i’ve rattled off everything i can through my glasses fogging constantly. @standbetween is an absolute gift. a person whose positive vibes emanate into my life. a dude who writes a character so marvelously that frankly i care not about the series. I care about thom and bishop’s heart and that’s all.

i have been through a relationship that i genuinely thought was it, but it was an experience i had, and i still got through it— albeit delayed, with the help of a lot of you guys. a lot of you i love so much. through my mom’s sickness, losing her; through grad school and fluctuating depressions— through so much of the hard stuff, you have been here for me. and for that i am grateful. i am thankful for the patience and love i’ve been shown at my hardest and i’m thankful for the honesty i’ve been given when i’m at my most difficult. i’m just thankful for all of you, and i need you to know that.

writing is my catharsis. musing is my catharsis. thinking, talking, creating, is all my catharsis. and i wouldn’t have it without you all.

thank you thank you thank you.

i’m gonna go drive on up to ct to see my family for a little while so i’ll be mobile (ask for disco or wire if you feel so inclined!) but thank you. thank you thank you. i want to write when i get back. fucking hell I want to. so hopefully i can.

i’m so thankful for everyone reading this. i love you.

[nerdnag]

How long does it take Constance and Hubert to be comfortable enough to fart in each others presence?

It takes Constance six years, two months and fourteen days before she willingly and comfortably farts in Hubert's presence.

It starts out with an accident. They are in the middle of a magical duel - their daily practice session - when Constance dodges a little too sharply to the side and accidentally breaks wind. Panicking, she tries to clear her throat to cover the sound (even though, logically, it is of course impossible to cover up a sound after you have already heard it). Then, when Hubert pauses and turns to look at her, she panics again, realizing that there may be an unpleasant smell as a result of her little accident. She knows, after all, that her farts tend to smell just a bit more rancid than dark magic.

Ah, she thinks, perhaps that is just how I'll conceal it!

She quickly casts the most gruesome dark magic she can muster, intentionally aiming it beside Hubert. A thick, almost visibly boiling black torrent of gunk shoots past him and into a bush nearby. He sees where she is aiming and does not move; he simply follows the spell's path with his gaze before returning his attention to her. His nostrils flare, but she is unsure whether it's because of the smell of magic, the smell of her fart, or because he senses that something is amiss.

Her Plan C is to laugh. Loudly and vivaciously she laughs, holding up a hand by her mouth as she leans her head back and guffaws.

Only, she can't laugh for ever. And after an unnaturally long laugh, it trails off into silence, and she is forced to meet Hubert's gaze.

"Ehe.... Eheheh.... Ehhh... Ohh... I feel the Sun coming out, we best make haste inside--"

"Constance."

She freezes in the midst of a motion, one leg raised behind her and one arm aiming toward the nearest door like an arrow. Slowly her face angles itself toward her husband.

"Y-yes?"

His gaze is steady. Dark. Unreadable.

"Did you just break wind?"

She holds her breath as she stares at him. How can he ask that so simply? So... So unfazed by this momentous event that will surely upend their marital life as they know it!

"I...! I do not appreciate your, your...!" She huffs, shaking her head as she places her hands by her hips and gives him a stern look. "That is not how you speak to a lady!"

To her great dismay, Hubert smiles, then chuckles. He walks up to her slowly, holding her gaze even as she gives him her harshest of glares.

"My apologies," he says in a sardonic lilt. "Let me rephrase myself."

He stops just a few paces in front of her. Then, without breaking their eye contact, he lets out a long fart.

Constance jumps at the sound, her eyes widening as she listens to the almost trumpet-like noise which seems to vary rather skillfully in both pitch and strength over the course of several seconds. Throughout it all, Hubert simply looks down at her with a slight smile, those slitted eyes of his seeming strangely menacing as his private concert continues.

When the sound eventually ebbs out, Constance finds herself gaping at her husband.

"You--you just--was that--"

"Dearest Constance," he says in the same tone of voice one might use when lecturing a schoolchild about work ethics. "You must understand that I have flatulated in your presence for years on end. Usually in silence, mind you, but nevertheless in your presence. I do not mind in the slightest if you do so as well. In fact, I expect you to. It will not do for you to suffer from unnecessary stomach aches simply because you do not dare to pass gas in my vicinity."

Constance's cheeks are so hot that she has to glance up in search of the Sun in the sky. But no, the thick clouds still conceal the entirety of the heavens from her view.

"I... That is..." She takes a deep breath. "I suppose that is... Reasonable."

He nods. "Perfectly reasonable."

"In that case..."

Straightening, Constance gives her husband a determined look. With some slight embarrassment, she lets loose a miniscule fart, barely audible. It sounds somewhat like a small tuba.

Hubert smiles and pulls her to his side in a half embrace, squeezing her shoulder. Before long, however, he breaks away again, one hand enveloping in dark magic as he raises an eyebrow at her.

"Once more before lunch," he says, "and this time, I will not accept any intentional misses from you."

She nods, registering the shift in his tone of voice that tells her he has reverted back to his usual professionalism. As he teleports himself into starting position at the other end of their dueling arena, she calls on her lightning magic with a grin.

"Oh, you may rely on it!"

[fruityyamenrunner]

The particular out-of-body experience I am about to relate took place five years ago following one such quiet dinner. I must hasten to point out that at that time of my life I had been abusing my body with a litany of bad eating and drinking habits (“crimes against wisdom,” as the ayurvedic folks would call it) and I had allowed myself to grow to nearly three hundred pounds. It was not good.

I am happy to say that I have since I have lost more than one hundred pounds and am feeling better than I have my entire life. At the time, however, my weight made sleeping quite challenging. It was great for lucid dreaming and astral projection because I was often tossing and turning in that twilight world between waking and sleeping. But it was terribly frightening when I realized that many of my colorful nocturnal adventures were kicked off by the suffocating effects of sleep apnea and that my astral projections could probably be more accurately described as near-death experiences! Still, this season of my life was characterized by a rich assortment of out-of-body experiences, and led to my ability to control and direct the circumstances of my dreams and projections.

I wish I could say that Constance was as excited about my astral adventures as I was. But I can’t. In fact, they were often rude and terrifying interruptions to her sleep. She usually knows that I am outside of my body before I do, because I almost always roll over on my back and stick my left arm straight up into the air. I have no idea why I do this, but whenever I do it she wakes her up and grumbles to herself, “Oh no! He’s out of his body again. I wonder when he’s going to make that noise?”

The noise that she dreads is a phenomenon that occurs when my astral body tries to speak, or rather, when my physical vocal cords try to vibrate to the speech impulses coming from my astral body. When I open my astral mouth to say something, my physical mouth back in bed makes the most grotesque and hideously frightening noise …

wooooahhhhhhHHHAAAAeeeeeeeaaaaaAAAAHHHH!

It’s not just a whimper either. I let out a monstrous groan as if I were the most tortured soul in the deepest pit of hell. It’s very loud. I can hear it myself and often wake up. It is so loud that Constance is sure our next-door neighbors must be terrified by the sound. I feel so embarrassed. I always think, “Why can’t I speak? Why am I making these horrible noises?” But instead of shutting up or trying to wake up, I always try again—only louder—

wooooahhhhhhHHHAAAAeeeeeeeaaaaaAAAAHHHH!

That’s when Constance has had enough and jabs me in the ribs with her elbow and yells in my ear, “You’re out of your body again! Wake up and go back to sleep! And put your arm down!”

[sydneyofalltrades]

RTC headcanons: Constance Edition!

Constance didn’t like her first name growing up. She thought it was too long and it felt like a “grandma” name, so she wanted everyone to call her Connie, but her parents revealed to her she was named after her great-grandmother who wanted her to be as successful and happy as possible, so she kept her long name

Connie doesn’t like confrontation, we know that, so instead of being upfront about a topic, she can and will beat around the bush until someone asks her if it’s bothering her

Constance’s little brother’s name is Conrad, Connie loves TSITP and begged her parents to name her baby brother after Belly’s love interest

Conrad’s first word was “Con-Con,” which he uses in reference to Constance, and he will frequently run around the house shouting, “Con-Con! Con-Con!” and Constance will be gushing with pride

Connie and Ricky were actually super close before they died. Ricky noticed Connie was upset one day and he wrote her a note asking what was wrong. She and Ocean had had a fight and Connie was nervous bc Ocean suggested they end their friendship, so he drew her a few cat pictures and she loved them. She learned ASL with his help and the help of his interpreter, and she will frequently just sign with him for hours

Constance takes LOTS of cooking classes. She wanted to run the Blackwood Cafe when she was older and her mother taught her everything she knew, and she learned more exotic dishes to help her grow her culinary experience

Constance was a little intimidated by Mischa. She thought he was a juvenile delinquent, or a thug, but when she found him texting his girlfriend behind the bleachers at school, she talked to him for a little and he started talking all about Talia and she realized he’s actually just a big softie

Constance never got to know Penny when they were alive. Sure she’d see that girl in the choir with the brown pigtails, and sometimes they’d talk, but she never made an effort to be friends with her. In the afterlife, that’s one of her biggest regrets

Noel and Constance’s friendship is a little odd, because Ocean loved to hate him and Noel despised Ocean’s mannerisms, but since Noel’s mom would always ask the Blackwoods to look after Noel on days she had too much work, he and Connie bonded as kids and are decent friends as teens

Connie’s favorite movie genre is romantic comedy, no you cannot say anything about it, but she does love a good tragedy every so often

Constance is actually jealous of Ocean’s superiority and pride bc she wishes she wasn’t so shy and could actually be as in control of her life as Ocean was

Connie is an asexual lesbian who had the BIGGEST crush on Ocean. She was so in love with her she never really understood that Ocean was using her a step stool until after they died

[kneeslapworthy]

pls make a kate centric post i love her and i love you

hello and thank you for this ask!! sorry for taking so long to respond to it heh

im just gonna ramble about random things i love about kate lol

In the show, I honestly feel like kate has the most satisfying character arc in both seasons out of all the kids.

When we first meet Kate, she is by far the most confident one out of all of the kids, almost aggressively so. And it's pretty interesting because despite her wanting to be so independent, she is the most conversational and extroverted during the test-taking. At the same time, we have Krista who is also very confident but to the point of egoism. Krista distrusts others for the sake of personal gain, meanwhile, Kate distrusts others because the people she should trust have abandoned her.

Yet she immediately decides to help and collaborate with Sticky and Reynie. She's the first to finish the maze puzzle, she did it all on her own with her own skillset, yet she felt the need to wait on Reynie and Sticky. These two people she just met, maybe for the first time, saw her as a peer, not as a circus act or "problematic orphan", but as an ally. Maybe that's partially why she decided to take the tests in the first place, to find like-minded children? (in this case, the advertisement from the books makes more sense)

As we get to know Kate better, we realize that while she is confident, her confidence reaches a point. This confidence was not born out of encouragement or a stable upbringing, it was born out of a necessity to believe in herself when no one else would. So, when the other kids disapprove of her plans and ideas at the Institute, it solidifies a certain fear in her: No one believes in me but me, and do I even believe in myself? The same thing applies to her performance in her classes at the Institute. Her fragile sense of belief is faltering, so she acts out and utilizes her practical skillset because that's the only thing she knows. And it almost gets her killed. And that's why it becomes all the more symbolic that her long-lost father saves her from what would be a lethal fall, the man that was meant to be her support system from the start.

Kate is a person of action, so she literally had to be saved from dying by someone in order to realize that her forced independence is not sustainable. This realization is further strengthened by the temporary loss of her bucket (which I could go on for ages about but I'll try to be concise), which Constance fittingly points out to be a crutch. And indeed it is. Not only is it a physical manifestation of Kate's almost obsessive need to feel independent, it also allows her to depend on something that won't fail her. The bucket is a static, inanimate object. It can't leave her like her father did, it can't disappoint her like what i presume most other adults in her life have. So by losing the bucket, she becomes truly alone, up until she is saved by Milligan.

And that is what I think is the root of Kate's fear: being alone. By creating this false sense of confidence, learning to be independent, and only relying on herself (and by extension, her bucket) she can convince herself that she isn't alone. So maybe taking the tests was in the hopes of finding friends. Even after she fails the second test, she helps Number Two (in the most Kate way possible) and in turn finds a friend in her.

Kate knows she isn't academically gifted, she expresses an awareness of that at the Institute and during the test-taking, so maybe she has harnessed these practical skills for others to find her useful? She wants to seem reliant in the only way she knows how? Because maybe she – much like Sticky – fears being unwanted. Maybe she has questioned one too many times why her father abandoned her (Was I not good enough? Not smart enough? Not tough enough?), and maybe she wants to do everything in her power to not be unwanted? So she becomes Kate "The Great", the athlete, the circus performer, the escape artist, the spy.

Maybe losing the bucket wasn't only her having to be alone and by herself again, but also her feeling like she lost the one thing that made her worth keeping around?

Kate is my favorite child this week leave me alone I need to weep.

[queenofbaws]

ahhhhHHHHHH it's been a hot minute since i've stopped and done one of these, but i figured now's the time, huh??? a quick little update here on my end: i'm hoping to be finishing of mummy men & bathtub soup, my conrad manofmedan-centric ghost hunting fic, in the coming weeks, so everything else is likely to be running a little slower for the immediate future. it's one of a handful of wips i'm REALLY trying to wrap up before the guilt eats me alive, telltale heart style, M O S T L Y because i have so much stuff planned for the creepiverse that i'm just...bursting at the seams to get some sort of momentum going there, haha!!!

my weekends have also been a bit more chaotic than usual lately, between health crap and family crap, so once more, if you've sent me a flash fiction prompt recently that i haven't gotten to, i promise you'll see it filled one of these days 😭 just waiting for things to calm down a bit.

BUT HEY with all that in mind, i'm throwing a chunkier sneak-peek of like wringing blood from a stone here under the cut! never fear: i'm way too deep into hackett hyperfixation to NOT be working on it in the background, but until conrad's story comes to a close, hackett house will just be a littttttttle quieter than usual ;P

(as always, i hope you're all doing well out there, that you're being as nice to yourselves as you possibly can, and that YOUR creative endeavors are going well <3 you got this!!!)

He knew better to bring those questions to Constance; in his heart he suspected she would’ve known plenty and more about this bizarre side of things, but in nearly sixty years of marriage, all she’d ever willingly shared of her life before him was that the mother and grandmother who’d raised her up had been ‘ugly, witchety women,’ and not much else. Not ‘witchy,’ mind, not ‘wicked,’ not ‘wretched,’ but ‘witchety.’ That was as far as she’d be pressed on the subject, and he’d been raised to let sleeping dogs lie, so that was as far as he’d tried to press.

Jack, though. Jack you couldn’t get to shut up.

And he was more than a little witchety, himself. He hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of that word until the first time the Fiddlers had shown up on his doorstep—then it’d made perfect sense. Witchety. Yeah.

“I’m gonna ask you something.” Jed didn’t wait for him to react, instead sitting back in his own chair and rubbing tiredly at his stubble. “Figure I might as well, seein’ as how you’ve got an opinion on every other thing under the goddamn sun. You level with me now…this curse shit, it real?”

“Oh, it’s real. Real as the shirt on your back, I promise you that.”

He frowned. Not only was it the answer he’d least wanted to hear, but Jack hadn’t even paused to mull it over. That told him a great many things at once; very few of them good.

“Tell you something else, though,” Jack soldiered on. “Since you went and opened the door and all.” Then he did pause, looking down at the whiskey in his glass as he swirled it. After another couple seconds, he took a belt of it and set the glass back down. “People think of curses like a cold. Someone gives it to you, or it’s…I dunno, catching.” He shook his head. “But that ain’t right.”

He narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of it in his own head. “No?”

Jack shook his head again. “No. Curses are something you bring on yourself. If you’re cursed, well…that ain’t anybody’s fault but your own.”

Much as it pained him to do so, Jed held his gaze, dead eye and all. He wanted to see if he might backpedal, apologize for the slight when he realized what he’d said…but the only thing Jack did was take another drink of his whiskey.

“That don’t sit well with me.”

“Doesn’t have to. It’s the truth, Jed, and you know what they say about the truth. It shall set you free.”

“You understand you’re sittin’ in my house, telling me to my face that it’s—”

“Your own damn fault you’re up Shit Creek,” he finished for him. “Unfortunately, I am.”

“Now, you listen. Those kids were—”

Jack held both his hands up, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. “Helpin’ that boy. Uh huh. Yeah. I know. Six years I’ve been hearin’ about how helpful the pack is. Six fuckin’ years. And know what? That’s great. Real swell. And if I were a different man, maybe this is where I’d pat you on the shoulder and say somethin’ conciliatory. ‘No good deed goes unpunished,’ maybe. ‘There but for the grace of God go we.’ Only I’m not, and so you’re stuck what I’ve got to say. Which, if you hadn’t noticed, rarely runs on the side of consolation.” He took another breath, Jack, then sat forward with his arms on the table such that he could lean in. “They meant to help that boy, Jed. What they actually did was kill his whole family right in front of him.”

“Family,” he scoffed, leaning further back to show him what he thought of that one. “What family would that be? A truckful of carnies roaming town to town…that ain’t a fuckin’ family.”

Jack didn’t drop his gaze. “No? It ain’t? Huh. See—to me at least—sounds an awful lot like what you married yourself into.” He gave his glass another swirl. “An awful lot.”

[ofmythsandfables]

C.onstance H.atchaway

starter call | open starters | aesthetics | headcanons | photos

SYNOPSIS

Growing up on a farm wasn’t easy for a spoiled rotten Constance. Heiress to a small fortune within her town, Constance expected everything handed to her on a silver platter without a fuss. When she didn’t get her way though, which came more often than not, Constance became bratty and devilish and it continued until she bloomed into a beautiful young woman. Her beauty and charming personality caught the eyes of many, but none more-so than Ambrose Harper, the son of a successful farmer. The two fell madly in love, and were soon married. The honeymoon stage seemed to last a long time for the two lovebirds. always found with their arms linked and whispering sweet nothings to each other, it seemed like a match made in heaven. But what the public, and Ambrose, didn’t see was the constant internal struggle Constance went through. Her lust for money was turning out to be far greater than her love for the sweet and innocent Ambrose. He couldn’t keep up with his bride’s expensive tastes, and it slowly began to take a toll on their relationship. Constance’s greed became too great one evening, and so were the slashes in poor Ambrose’ neck. He was nearly decapitated in the bed he shared with his bride. When word got out, no one ever suspected Constance to be the killer. How could they? The couple was so in love; everyone saw it. just as they saw her grieving hysterically and shaking violently from the murderous act. Unfortunately, “the killer’’ was never found, but Constance was now heiress of her late husband’s small fortune. and well, things just took off from there… Two years later, she was married again. And then another three times after that. All of them ended tragically. Each husband had been decapitated, and “poor Constance” was ever the most grieving of widows. She was known in town as “the cursed bride” or “the black widow bride” – for she was always dressed in black, in mourning for her late husbands. Death seemed to follow her everywhere. And now, having acquired all the fortune she could want and never getting caught for her evil acts, she lives comfortably within the mansion she inherited from her latest victim husband. But do beware of her. one never knows when she’ll break out the hatchet again for her next killing…

VERSES

In sickness and in…wealth (aged 27 ; FC - Florence Pugh):

Constance is newly widowed after her fifth husband’s tragic death and living quite comfortably in her mansion. she parades around town dressed in black, in mourning naturally, but she isn’t one to shy away from throwing parties at her manor. after all, one can’t live a grim life forever…

Till death do us part (deceased, but looks 27 ; FC - Florence Pugh):

Though Constance has since passed on after many years of living, she still remains at the mansion. Constance haunts the many halls and rooms, dressed in a bridal gown and carrying around a hatchet, searching for her next victim who walks through the mansion’s doors. this can take place at any point starting from the 1920s and on.

Hurry back… (aged 30 ; modern/main ; FC - Florence Pugh):

Modern verse. Connie Barnes has given up her life on a ranch and just moved to the Hudson River Valley after learning she has inherited an old mansion passed down to her through her grandmother, a distant relation of George Hightower, who once owned the mansion and died tragically not too long after marrying. Connie bartends in town to help pay off college while writing her book on anthropology, but after settling into the large home, she realized she wasn't the only one living within its walls...

[rosie-love98]

The Love Story Of Mr. And Mrs. Hardbroom:

I know in the 1998 “Worst Witch”, Constance hardly ever talks of her folks (save for her nephew Artemis in “New Worst Witch”). All that would be said is that she never had birthday parties, a gift would be someone she could use and that when going to school her folks would just give her a simple back pack and she’d be on her way. While this could hint that she had an extremely stirct (and depressing) upbringing. However, this could imply something else.

It all began in the 1950′s. A young witch named Claire DeLune was solely raised by her mother Adeline Prudence. Claire’s father, Jericho DeLune, was rather absent for he led a hedonistic life-style. Frankly, he was “The Lord Byron of Wizards” and (in Constance’s words) “couldn’t be bothered” to marry Adeline. As a result, Adeline reared Claire to be logical and far away from the Bohemian ways of Jericho. 

In turn, Claire grew up to be an intelligent young witch who valued the beauty of nature. However, she was lonely. So, when finally being free to go to college (for botany of enchanted plants), she would become aquainted with one of her classmates, a beatnik wizard named Conrad Hardbroom. 

Conrad’s life wasn’t as easy as Claire’s; for one, he knew little of his parents for they had died when he was just a baby. So, Conrad was left to be raised by his wealthy paternal grandparents, Claude and Contanza Hardbroom. With their high demands that Conrad felt he could never reach, he grew cynical and rebelled in his own way. And while he enjoyed some of his college classes, Conrad felt that life was meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Then he met Claire.

Over the years, the pair would become aquainted but neither would be brave enough to make the first move. Then their fourth year rolled around when Conrad decided to be an intern for Jericho DeLune (specifically in the field of poetry and painting). Eventually, Jericho would take notice of Conrad’s feelings for Claire. And, wanting to set things right for his daughter, Jericho decided to play “matchmaker”. An endeavor that would prove successful with Conrad and Claire finally confessing their feelings for eachother. The two would even marry in secret a few years later.

Needless to say, Adeline was furious when she found out. Same would go for Cornelius and Contanza who felt their grandson deserved better. But, as Adeline would soon realize the love Conrad had was genuine, Cornelius and Contanza would refuse to change. Even when Claire and Conrad named their daughter “Constance” as a way to make peace with the now-great-grandparents. It was not enough; Conrad was disinherited. 

Yet, this did not deter Conrad or Claire as they would pursue their careers of passion; Claire as a gardener for magical plants while Conrad continued his career in painting and poetry. Humble jobs but happy ones to them. As for Constance, she would not be an only child for she’d gain a brother, the laid-back Clyde. Clyde would someday marry the sweet Cynthia Primrose and have his own son, Artemis. 

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Serenity (2019)

Serenity is goes off the rails so spectacularly it's fascinating to watch. This is not your typical “so bad it’s good” movie. It looks great. The actors are convincing. There are no technical errors to ridicule. The problem is writer/director Steven Knight, who thinks he’s made a movie so smart, so clever and so deep its surprises will have you picking your jaw off the floor. This movie is not smart; it’s preposterous. My advice? First, watch the trailer. It does a fantastic job selling the picture. Knowing nothing else, just go in, and wait. You'll learn that "surprising" does not equal "good".

Baker Dill (Matthew McConaughey) makes a living taking rich tourists fishing for sharks, swordfishes or other aquatic monsters. Lately, he’s become unhinged due to his obsession with “Justice”, an elusive giant tuna. His Captain Ahab-like antics have pushed him to the edge of bankruptcy. Then, his estranged ex-wife comes knocking. Karen (Anne Hathaway) offers Baker $10 million to kill her abusive husband, Frank (Jason Clarke).

While watching, it’ll be obvious something’s not right. Frank, for example. He’s a one-dimensional monster. In every scene, he’s giving his wife poisonous and threatening looks, getting drunk, talking about frequenting underage prostitutes, or otherwise proving himself to be wholly irredeemable. He is not a human being. He’s a cartoon. Similarly, other characters act strangely. Constance (Diane Lane) pays Baker for sex, there’s a strange bespectacled man (Jeremy Strong) who looks totally out of place and is constantly trying to catch up with Baker to give him something. You wonder what kind of place Baker is living in. If the man had any sense, he would jump on the $10 million offer even before learning his son (Rafael Sayegh) is receiving regular beatings from his stepfather. She could’ve given him $1,000 and he would’ve eagerly done it but not in this movie. So what’s actually going on?

In a twist, we learn this whole scenario exists within a video game. No one has any free will - except when they do, more on that in a second. Their actions are pre-programmed. This explains why Baker is obsessed with that fish, why Frank is an enemy you should have no qualms about killing, etc. Everyone is broad on purpose. That doesn’t really matter. Warning someone that the offensive thing you’re going to say is offensive does not make it acceptable. Acknowledging that a joke is unfunny does not make it funny. It gets even dopier when Serenity tosses the idea of free will into the mix. If Baker kills Frank, the teen who programmed the game will kill his real-life father. I guess the logic we’re operating on is that violent video games you make yourself can inspire real-life violence? It makes no sense.

Serenity drops a bombshell of a revelation on you and then lingers on it. All this gives you is enough time to realize just how dopey a story this is. As a cherry on top, it introduces another last-minute twist that’s in no way shocking or surprising, particularly considering everything we just saw means nothing in the end. You'll wonder what everyone involved was thinking. (January 24, 2020)