#considering they both fucking hate their parents and their upbringings

[kruxband]

i made a fankid for joelchick.... her name is veronica maneho-hicks and shes just a baby lol

[bluespiritshonour]

Somethings I noticed:

Katara, Suki and Azula are the only ones who haven't ever expressed any sort of misogynistic sentiment.

Aang would come a close second with minor mishaps here and there.

First, the girls:

Ty Lee, while fighting the Kyoshi Warriors: you're not prettier than we are.

Girl, where did that come from?

Mai has several instances of this when she says the Kyoshi Warriors’ uniforms are too girly (I don't mind her not liking how colourful they are; that's totally different) and later lowkey slut-shaming Ty Lee. And while she's rightfully unimpressed with Zuko's seashell (she's right Zuko, step-up your game) she could easily have countered his “Don't girls like these stuff?” the way Suki did with Sokka’s ideas about gendered generalisation. Also, you must have noticed that Mai's feminine too. She's just dark feminine to Ty Lee's light feminine.

Toph: she has absorbed a lot of toxic masculinity that's for sure. She isn't feminine, she light-heartedly teases Katara for being feminine and Aang too. She does give off the “one of the guys” vibes. You know which ones I'm talking about. “Are we going to watch two little girls fighting?” and later mocking Aang for his passivity.

But it is to be noted that Toph manages to do this without being racist to Aang. She's the one who mocks him the most about his pacifist beliefs (which are cultural to him) and she's kinda misogynistic the way she goes about it. But she's never racist to him. (I guess she is in the comics but fuck the comics). Even when Aang was really really nasty to her when Appa was stolen and she had every right to be mad at him—she wasn't. Given her age and her sheltered upbringing Toph's surprisingly mature. But I digress. Among the comics, I love the Lost Adventures only—and I love the spa day Katara and Toph have both in those comics and in the show. It feels like Toph's healing from that internalised misogyny? My reading of it is that just like girls in real world, Toph derides femininity because it has always been a chain to her. Her parents forced her to confirm so she hates it. But being friends with Katara probably let her heal that part of her. She's still not as feminine as Katara and mind you, nor should she be—let some girls never want to be feminine—it’s fine. But she learns to not to act out of a place of hurt.

Sokka: Sokka's misogyny was literally a plot point and he overcomes it. Also he and Aang have actually done drag and not been mocked for it. It's rare to see in media. The only other example I can think of is Good Omens.

His misogyny also feels kinda surface level (as opposed to Zuko in whom it's less obvious but seems more deeply ingrained).

Also. Zuko never did drag. Shame on him.

Aang: is the least misogynistic of the boys. The only instances I can think of are either kinda vague: when he tells Sokka that “It's nice dress!” It's kinda ambiguous if his tone was mocking or complimentary but it upsets Sokka nonetheless. And when he's upset at being played by a woman in Ember Island Players. The first time I watched it I felt it was OOC. But he was also kind of justified as it was racism and misogyny combined on behalf of the Fire Nation in portraying him that way.

Phew. These were purely my own opinions simply by the virtue of gender expression meaning different things to different people. I might say Mai is actually quite feminine while Toph isn't... But what even is considered masculine or feminine?

I love Katara and Toph's spa day because Toph learns that being girly wouldn't kill her—but she also doesn't suddenly become Ty Lee levels of feminine either. Some women just don't wanna be feminine. Oftentimes it's because femininity is derided by society itself—and that's something that one needs to heal from, like Toph did with Katara’s friendship—but everytime I've seen a story like that, the girl, upon realising that femininity isn't a bad thing is suddenly hyper-feminine.

Like, can we have them heal from internalised misogyny and still not wanna be feminine—even though they don't consider it bad or embarassing or fickle anymore?

Toph and Katara’s spa days do it perfectly.

When those girls mock Toph and Katara tells her she's pretty, I can't tell you much I loved it. The same feelings toward Suki’s “I am a warrior, but I'm a girl too.”

[glassesntea]

Levi and female!reader developing a relationship (Canon Universe)

Part 1/2

How your foolish idealism land you into the Survey Corp

You were born in a rich merchants family of Stohess. The only girl out of four children, with three protective older brothers and a younger one whom you adored. With all of your cousins being male too, you were spoiled rotten by both your parents and various uncles and aunts.

Your life was carefree, uneventful. You were well loved by your friends, you had various interests.

You loved parties, flirting and going out with boys. Your first boyfriend broke up with you when he started the cadet training, eventually becoming an assigned MP in Stohess. You both left in friendly terms and still meeting each other to chat.

Thanks to him you came to know all the events following the Trost battle. Your interest started to stir.

Then the Female Titan appeared in Stohess.

You lived in an area unffected by the distruction, but the idea of Titans so close to your loved ones disturbed you. And instigated your curiousity even more.

That tiny germ planted in your head by the tales of outsiders, people who can turn into Titans and secrets surrounding the Walls, blossomed after the retaking of Shiganshina and the truth of the world finally unveiled.

While you were reading the newspaper you felt a mixture of rage, exaltation, hope... your lifestyle, all of the sudden, appeared dull and meaningless. You wanted to see these things yourself, wanted to help and free Eldia from the hated Marley.

Whitout telling anyone you fleed one night to enroll in the Cadets Corp, whishing to join the Scouts.

After being shouted in the face by Shadis during the presentation of the recruits...

"Y/S, uh? If I had a penny for all the time I have heard idealistic bullshit like yours, I would be richer than your daddy. What fucking happened?? He didn't buy you the pony you wanted??"

You were summoned in his office the day after just to find Shadis together with your parents, your eldest brother and your former MP's boyfriend. Apparently he snitched on you.

Your parents and brother tried to reason with you, saying it was dangerous, that you were following a blind idealism without caring the consequences.

In the long run they were right on a lot of things. You'll end up thinking about their warnings and concernes often in the years following the Rumbling.

Your ex was equally adamant trying to get you kicked out of the corp.

He said he was worried for you and told Shadis that considering your upbringing you'll have problems recognizing authority and discipline.

You didn't miss the glare Shadis gave him: "I have teached you and countless cadets before you, kid. Are you implying that I can't do my job?"

Your ex boyfriend winced at Shadis threatening tone. In the end you were allowed to stay. They thought you wouldn't last long in this setting and you would come back home soon.

You swore to yourself not to give up.

Military life teached you a lot on discipline, surely it wasn't easy for you to get used to this kind of hardship but your strong will allowed you to graduate with good scores, despite not being in the top 10.

You stood at attention with your fellow recruits, listening to Commander Hanji speech and you were pleased to notice that the majority of your comrades decided to join the Survey Corps.

With other three friends from the cadet's years you were assigned to Varis and it wasn't rare that in some training sessions with the ODM gear Jean Kirschstein, one of the hero of Shiganshina, would tutor you to perfect the movements.

Despite being younger than you of two years you came to deeply respect Jean. Through him you created a friendly bonds with both Connie and Sasha.

Sasha trained you with the rifles and you share with her the things your parents sent you like you did with your bunkmates back in trainings: goods, soaps and other things. There were too much of these, anyways.

She invited you to spend the evenings in her's and Mikasa's room.

Mikasa wasn't as talkative, but she was polite with you and,slowly, she started to warm up to you.

In the mess hall it wasn't uncommon for you and your friends to sit at a table with Connie and laughing to tears over a bowl of soup at some of his stories: especially the ones that involved a livid Shadis punishing him and Sasha for some of their antics.

Floch Forster was another commanding officer you get along with, at least for a little while.

When you were assigned guarding the Marleyan's POW, watching them from your post, Floch passed by and you salute him.

"Everyting's in order?"

"Yes, sir" your eyes narrowed when a prisoner glared in your direction and Floch noticed.

"Don't bother, they are exactly where they deserved to be."

You straighted your shoulders "They'd better remember that, after what they put us through."

Floch nodded, regarding you with a renowed interest "Y/N, right? I'm glad that some people still have some common sense, you are absolutely correct."

It was too long that I had to divide this introduction part in two because I reached the world limit. Why can't I be more succint? T-T next part continue from where I stopped.

[sugarsnappeases]

Black brothers incest ?

let's get into it gang. i like them most when its a mostly unrequited reg pining after sirius thing. it's sirius yk. obviously reg has a crush on him, and obvs its an incredibly complicated messy crush where he wants to be him and to be protected by him and to kill him and to just have him near always, and obvs at the end of the day he achieves exactly none of those things lol. it also importantly ties in to the whole heir and spare and reg having to step into sirius' role thing.

jen and i have talked a little about this before (obviously) and i think we decided that sirius would maybe do things like teaching reg how to kiss and give head or to wank etc etc but it would mean a lot less to him than it would to reg. like reg thinks its a Thing, that sirius actually wants him and is in love with him bc of some of the things they've done growing up but for sirius it's just like. it doesn't mean that at all. like it's just brotherly lmao. or like. he doesn't quite understand where to draw that line in a brotherly relationship growing up but for him it's never been more than just like. trying to help reg and make him happy and maybe things getting all tangled up during those long summers at grimmauld together. i think they'd both grow up not really knowing what the issue w incest might be, like their parents are fucking cousins, they're no strangers to incest, but w sirius he grows out of it kinda and learns how fucked up it is and gets an array of normal, much healthier relationships.

reg on the other hand never really gets that. and it all gets twisted up in resentment and hatred and yearning and the like. esp if we consider this in conjunction to barty. which jen and i have discussed frequently and which drives me fucking insane. so. take barty, devotional man of all time, he's giving himself up in his entirety to reg, he just wants to give reg everything he wants and he knows that reg misses his brother more than anything. barty doesn't entirely understand familial relationships after his fucked up ones and he defo doesn't understand siblings at all and he's fucking reg and trying to give him what he wants and he's offering 'you can pretend that i'm sirius if you want' !!!!!!! <- makes me insane!!!!!!!!!!

now, we were discussing this before we had the blackcest chats so initially for us reg was like. horrified by this suggestion, completely appalled, and even now perhaps he'd still be appalled, bc really how could barty presume to fill sirius' shoes or try to insert himself into the relationship between the black brothers, even if sirius is entirely absent at that point and they almost certainly never had actual sex like that. there'd also be a whole That was Private thing, and reg wouldn't want anyone really to be a part of it. but maybe there's also a sense of desperate desperate longing and maybe if barty asked enough he would give in and shut his eyes and imagine it, in a kind of horrible self-hating miserable agony thing.

we also spoke about a horrible barty/sirius one night stand where they're both super duper drunk and maybe barty offers the same thing to sirius, bc he thinks that's just how brothers work (oh btw this is in the context of the rosier twins and like pre-bartyrosiers asw) and sirius just brushes it off as a fucked-up joke and doesn't even really think twice about it, like he would never even think about actually fucking reg. for him it was more of just a messy naive clumsy product of his upbringing that he's very ashamed about for years afterwards and actively tries to never think about again.

anyway, moral of the story, i don't like Properly ship them, but i think there's something to be said for them. i think all sibling relationships can be made incestuous if you think about it hard enough (joking! but......) and i think that incest between the black brothers could do compelling things to the arc that they already have w sirius leaving

[shrimpmandan]

I honestly fucking hate when antis bring up that fiction DOES affect reality as a counterargument to proshippers bc the thing is they’re not even technically wrong. Fiction and reality are inherently intertwined on some level. For example, fiction often depicts the ideals and standards of the time, or the creator’s lived experience. Fiction can impact reality in the form of individual people, both positively and negatively. For example, a propaganda cartoon vs an educational cartoon. The thing is, antis refuse to acknowledge that the “fiction =/= reality” argument (in the context of proshippers using it) is a direct response to the incorrect assertion that fiction will make people act against their morals. This can be about anything from “incest/abuse/age gap relationships in fiction will normalize it irl”, “video games cause shootings”, “porn causes violence”, or any other amount of honestly baseless and reactionary assertions about the world.

I see propaganda brought up a lot, which is especially frustrating, because antis don’t understand how propaganda works. Propaganda is not something that you watch and suddenly, you’re racist. Funnily enough, propaganda on its own isn’t particularly persuasive or logical in how it’s presented-- it’s just manipulative. Propaganda specifically takes advantage of preconceived ideas, fears, and prejudices-- for example, anti-gay propaganda would play into the idea of gay men being predatory, deviant, and mentally disordered, because that was already the general consensus of the time. Propaganda, by nature, plays into existing emotions, or preys on the human fear of the unfamiliar. This is why the best combatant to propaganda is education.

You can apply this same thing to taboo fiction, violent video games, and violent porn. You could make the argument that these things could have negative influences on children, seeing as they’re much more impressionable and may have a harder time distinguishing between fiction and reality, but the bottom line is kids are not the target audience for any of these things. They are not supposed to be viewing NSFW writings, videos, or games. We already have things like ESRB ratings, “are you 18?” verification checks (as paper thin as they may be), and tagging systems in place for the express purpose of deterring kids (or parents of kids) from seeing something that aren’t meant for them. After a certain point, you really just have to place the responsibility on the parent for either not monitoring their children, or being careless about what kind of content they consume. Aka: NOT the fault of the adults who make or enjoy violent or explicit media.

Going back to propaganda for a minute, with taboo fiction in particular (incest, age gap, etc.), it’s already, y’know, taboo. Meaning people are actively discouraged from participating in, or even just talking about it, since things like incest and pedophilia are already largely considered immoral. Most Western citizens would agree that irl abusive relationships, rape, and the like, are all immoral. So why would reading about it suddenly make them go against the entire worldview and moral upbringing they had? That’d be utterly absurd! However, if someone who was already considering or apologetic towards something like pedophilia were to consume media depicting it positively, it might, and I repeat, MIGHT have a chance to influence them into actually committing an offense. And even then, any evidence of that is extremely flimsy.

There’s been a small handful of IRL cases around fiction and reality. One that comes to mind is the murder trial of Scott Dyleski, wherein the prosecutor asserted that the Invader Zim episode Dark Harvest inspired Dyleski to commit murder. However, this statement was hardly backed up with any kind of proof, and in my opinion, is a weak argument on the prosecution’s end. There just isn’t any psychological evidence that makes a strong connection between dark/violent/explicit media and moral degradation, and while there have been studies done surrounding things like “do video games cause violence?” and “is porn making young men misogynistic rapists?”, these studies either came back inconclusive or even outright stating that no, these things do not lead directly to IRL violence. Simply googling “do video games cause violence?” or “does porn cause violence?” will yield countless articles stating that there’s no strong link between the two things. And, at its core, this is what proshippers mean when they say that fiction =/= reality. To say that fiction is responsible for all of society’s ills, instead of the fact that fiction takes inspiration from the tragedies of the real world, is an absurd take.

Overall, I think I’m still happy with the “fiction =/= reality on a 1-to-1 level” wording that’s since replaced “fiction =/= reality”. It’s far less generalized and overall more difficult for antis to counter with actual evidence (which, let’s be honest, they barely use anyways), even though the only reason proshippers were using such a generalized statement to begin with was to counter another generalized statement: that taboo or violent fiction will always, or almost always, lead to irl crimes and normalization.

[eriquin]

Steddie Superhero AU Part 4

Last part of my quick fic. Why are my outline-only fics hitting 8k? Because my brain will not shut up about them.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (you are here)

Warning tags: neglectful parenting, child superheroes, more injuries.

...

Robin wants to know if he wants to talk to Eddie about this, because maybe he’s okay with it and he’s got his own thing planned. Steve agrees to meet with him, if they can get them somewhere safe. He doesn’t want to deal with an ambush. When they get them together, Steve wants to talk to Eddie alone. The first thing Eddie does is apologize for how he acted before, and they talk through what Eddie thought was going on and what was actually happening. Eddie says that his parents treated him like shit and once he figured that out, the way he treats the Party makes a lot of sense. Steve hasn’t really had a chance to tell anyone what happened to get him trapped yet, and once he starts talking about it with Eddie, he can’t stop talking about the finer details of his messed-up upbringing.

If there’s a place to tell the backstory of baby-superhero Steve, it’s here. He was a child superhero, the kind of thing that just isn’t done anymore. This was part of the arguments that Eddie (as Hellfire) and Steve had about the Party. The kids are generally considered too young for real superheroing, and Steve was even younger than they are. He had super strength and fast healing but not the top-tier kind of thing that his parents had. They kept trying to push him further and further in the hopes of him developing better powers, but it never got better. The only thing that’s rare about him is the sympathetic healing ability, which isn’t really a flashy combat power. Except that his parents started relying on it for cleaning up their messier fights. If their son heals everyone afterwards, it means they don’t have to hold back as much. Steve eventually realized that they didn’t care that he was hurt by it, either. Robin helped him escape and build a new life, and they’ve been each other’s besties ever since. 

He’s messed up about everything, but he’s finally physically healing and he’s afraid of how much effort it’s going to take to feel safe again. Eddie has to hold his own hands back to keep from touching him, because he wants to comfort him but doesn't know if he’s allowed. Eddie says that he’s not going to let them hurt Steve again and then Steve’s practically crawling into his lap. He just wants to be held for a little bit, and he says he’s still a little mad at Eddie but flying to his rescue with a cool dragon helped a lot. He mumbles something about feeling like a princess in a tower. 

Eddie winces: I feel bad about calling you prince charming before. You remember that? Yeah, I shouldn’t have done that Steve: That was on purpose? Eddie: Yeah. Christ, I’m sorry. Steve: It was nice. Finally made the title feel good, hearing it from you. Like you meant it. Did you... not mean it? Eddie: I meant it so much. You were sweet and charming and so fucking earnest and I liked you so much but you hated Hellfire Steve: ‘cause Hellfire was a dick who didn’t listen to me Eddie: I know! And I didn’t know how to tell you that I was both without you hating me for it. I’m so sorry. 

They’re curled up with each other now and Steve remembers why he was so enamored with Eddie. It doesn’t take much to start kissing him again, and it’s close to getting to be more than that when there’s a knock on the door, startling them. They shift apart and then Eddie gets up to let people in again. Robin and Hopper are there, as is Murray who is a friend of Hopper’s and a clever PR person. They ask if the boys came up with any good story to tell or plan of how to handle the issue with the Regal Heroes and how to clear Eddie’s name. Eddie’s like “Oh, is that what we were supposed to be talking about?” Robin, Hopper, and Murray collectively roll their eyes but Steve giggles a little which makes Robin happy to see. 

They go over what their options are and how they’re going to explain why the Regals were keeping Steve prisoner without revealing more about his power set than he wants people to know. People know he has fast healing and super strength, but they don’t know that he can take people’s injuries or that he’s any kind of healer. Murray has gone through the data that Jonathan and Robin pulled from about what they were doing to Steve and he thinks that the Regals wanted to try to duplicate his power, or to figure out how to activate it involuntarily on him. That’s some dark shit and he’s worried that if that comes out, not only will it involve a larger scale government cover-up but Steve might be targeted by people who want to recreate the experiment. So it would be better if they could figure out some other reason that’s more in line with your everyday, petty superhero bullshit. Steve has an epiphany.

Steve: I’m a princess Robin snorts: Yeah, the prettiest princess. Steve: No, shut up. I mean. The princess in the tower. They locked me up there. There was a dragon and everything.  Eddie: I mean, usually the dragon is guarding the princess instead of rescuing... Steve: Yeah, yeah, I mean. That’s why they locked me up, why you rescued me. That’s what we say? Murray: I’m not sure I follow, kid. Steve: Just... Make them garden variety homophobes. Not approving of their son’s boyfriend, they lock him away in the tower. No freaky medical experiments, no power reveal. Just your average kidnapping and involuntary confinement.  Murray, suddenly gleeful: Oooo... so the vendetta against Hellfire really is personal. That’s good. That’s going to make them look just awful. Steve: Right? Exposing my boyfriend like that, but not me? It’s coming at me without exposing themselves, right? ‘Cause if I stay with him then people will find out who I am.  Hopper: Wait, how much of this is true? Were you dating before this?  Robin: Like, three months ago. Steve: Two. Robin: Three. It’s April. Steve: Woah. Fuck. I’m so fired.  Eddie: Aww, babe. You’ll have to be a househusband.  Hopper: Do we have to wipe more records about you, Munson?  Eddie: Eh? Maybe? I’ve dated a bunch of people.  Robin: Boo, you whore. 

They figure out their stories and then Murray arranges something for a remote interview with Eddie about what happened, and then once they get someone to agree to it they let it drop that Junior Prince is also going to talk to them. He doesn’t like his previous superhero name but he’s not sure what else to call himself. They’re like “so the superhero formerly known as Le Petit Prince?” and he’s like “Not that. I’m not nearly as cool as the rock star.” What other name would they use for him? Eddie thinks they should call him Prince Charming. Steve hates it and wonders if there’s a good prince of hell he could be named instead. Eddie’s like “I think Asmodeius is the one for Lust” and Robin has a live Robin reaction and declares that Steve is Prince Charming now because they’re trying to go for a squeaky clean image. Steve resents this but he doesn’t really want to be in the mask again so he just rolls with it. 

So they get ready for their interview. They’re just wearing domino masks, which Hellfire usually wears under his face shield, and they’re mic'd up. Steve’s like “I forgot how much I hate talking on camera” before they’re on the air with the interviewer. No one has heard from Le Petit Prince in ages, but they roll with him being called “Charming” now and he explains that he’s basically retired. They go with the whole story about the fight with his parents being about them not approving of his boyfriend and keeping him captive for a month to try to break them up. It was interpersonal drama and his parents have taken it way too far by starting this vendetta against his boyfriend. Hellfire gives a little wave and says hi but mostly lets Charming talk. The interviewer asks if Hellfire didn’t start it by letting a dragon bite off King Whatever’s arm and Hellfire’s like “She is a strong, independent dragon and she does what she wants. She likes kids and doesn’t like bad parents.” 

The interviewer seizes the opportunity to talk mostly to Charming, asking him questions about why he retired and what he’s been doing. He talks about how his childhood sucked a lot but he didn’t know any better so now he helps take care of younger heroes and makes sure someone’s looking out for their best interest and keeping them out of trouble, as best as they can. He drags his parents at every opportunity. They finish off the interview with the interviewer asking what he thinks about his parents revealing Hellfire’s identity. Charming says that he wonders if they’ll get more than a slap on the wrist for doing that, and then goes 

Charming: It’s funny because as an independent adult, I could reveal my identity at any time. I know people do it, and it’s not like they’d have any right to sanction me for doing it just because my parents’ identities would be super easy to determine based on it.  Interviewer: What an interesting point.  Charming: Yeah, that’s the choice they made when they decided they’d rather have a sidekick than a son, huh? I think they thought I’d break up with this guy :jerks thumb at Hellfire: if everyone knew who he was, but the jokes on them, huh? Hellfire: Guess we’re not getting their blessing any time soon, huh? 

So they finish up the interview and it goes viral and gets sampled on stuff. There’s the court of public opinion that’s decently split about their relationship but not about Steve dragging his parents for child abuse and imprisonment. Steve’s parents are now pariahs among heroes and basically have to retire, but they’re still rich assholes in their regular life. But Steve’s estranged from them and is back to dealing with his own shit. Eddie gets recognized far too much to do the anti-establishment vigilante work that he used to do, but on the other hand a bunch of people like him and agree with him. Some people even like his music, and that’s cool. He’s internet famous, which he hates, but Jonathan helps him manage. He even tweets occasionally, in the style of terrible Bruce Wayne tweets that make no sense. When he does do the superhero stuff it’s usually for natural disasters or big villains now, because his upgraded shadow monster stuff has catapulted him into A league. Which he hates. 

There is one reporter who he’ll talk to, and it’s usually cute banter. Chrissy Cunningham starts as a music and arts reporter, but since Hellfire will talk to her about stuff she gets put into heroes stuff. He accuses her of flirting with him and says that she knows he’s taken. 

Steve gets his EMT job back, with his boss knowing that there’s something cape-related going on in his life. His boss probably already knew this, but realizes that it must have gotten very bad for him to be missing for a month. But Steve has a great success rate and he suspects it’s related, like maybe he has good luck powers or something. 

They get sent to a disaster that turns out to be unnatural. There’s a supers battle that’s collapsed a building and Steve’s helping deal with injuries. He ends up running in to drag someone to safety and one of the bad guys hits him. He gets stabbed by a javelin while there are lots of civilians around. There are certain rules of engagement for supers, because targeting injured people and medical personnel tends to get the attention of people like Nancy who just kill you for it. So he waffles between fight and flight mode because he thinks this is deliberately attacking him, but then the guy looks like he’s going to go after the injured people near him so fight mode it is. He tackles the guy despite his own gut wound, but ends up being thrown into the debris. Then other uninjured civilians start joining in on the fight, which they normally wouldn’t do but this injured EMT just tried to take down some clown in spandex and they’re mad about it. Then the Party arrives, including Hellfire and his summons, and the villains are routed quickly. 

The Party is good at disaster cleanup. Eddie’s directing his summons to find people who are trapped. He gives Steve a long look from across the ruined building, but he’s got his faceplate on so people can’t tell. But Steve is now a patient and being loaded into his own ambulance on a gurney and he can’t even protest too much because he really, really should be injured by this and it’d be suspicious if he wasn’t. He does whine a little bit about not getting to meet any of the heroes. Later on he’s in the hospital room he doesn’t need with a doctor who has to pretend that he’s still injured and Eddie sneaks in with the help of someone who can make illusions. 

Eddie, being cheeky: I just had to meet this heroic EMT who took on a villain all by himself.  Steve: Ha-ha asshole. Tell Robin that we need to check if that guy has a connection to my parents. They might have sent him to silence me Eddie, crawling onto the hospital bed with him and in a singsong voice: If they did, I’m letting my dragon eat them Steve: Oh, sweetheart. You say the nicest things.

They kiss for a little bit and Steve complains about being stuck in the hospital until a reasonable amount of time has passed for them to release him, and the door opens with a nurse saying she has Mr. Henderson’s meds. Eddie jumps away from Steve and fails to hide his face because he recognizes that the nurse is actually Chrissy. He’s suddenly pissed that she’s there, impersonating a nurse, and wonders if she’s actually stalking him. 

But she’s actually there to try to find out more about Steve, who was very heroic but was whisked away and she’s on the lookout for superhero-related stories that affect. She wanted him to get to him before the super teams tried to hush up him for any reason, as it’s happened before. She gets all in Eddie’s face about him trying to coerce a civilian and she thought he was better than that. 

Eddie: That is not why I’m here! Chrissy, poking him in the chest with her pen: Then why? I know it’s not to flirt. You have a boyfriend, remember?  Steve coughs: Yeah, Eddie. Remember?  Eddie: You shut up. Chrissy, catching up a little: Wait. Why aren’t you more injured? You were impaled. Steve, pretending very badly to be hurt: I’m very injured! I’m covered in bandages here. I’m ... absolutely not sitting up right now. Ouch?  Chrissy: ... Oh my god. You... Charming has fast healing.  Steve: Jesus, you were right. She is smart.  Eddie: This is your fault for getting stabbed. Steve: This is your fault for visiting me after I was publicly stabbed!

...

And that’s about all I have. I like Chrissy as the Lois Lane character. If there are any follow-ups, it’s exploring the Party’s powers and Steve finding his feet as a real hero. Or just having a happily ever after. He and Eddie would have excellent banter. Good enough for now.

Taglist: @kedreeva, @fiore-della-valle, @whydamnitwhy, @captainhaterade

[kira-broflovski]

Fly Away || Kenny McCormick x Reader

note: characters are 18+ (tw: mention of smoking weed often)

Ever since you were a child, you've wanted to get out of this town and away from everyone else. You've wanted to start a new life where people won't know where you came from, giving them no right to judge you or treat you any differently.

Everyone knew everyone in this town. Everyone knew who you were, and everyone knew who your parents were; what your parents had done.

South Park had some good memories, you couldn't lie, but this little mountain town was holding you back from succeeding in life.

You spent most of your nights getting high with your childhood friend and boyfriend, Kenny McCormick. Another familiar face of South Park due to his upbringing.

Some nights, you were all the other person had. And it seems it was another one of those nights again. Little did you know that tonight was the one that changed your lives forever as you laid on your back on Kenny's broken bed.

You let out a deep sigh. Another boring day put behind you. You lay there as you finally come down from your high, same for Kenny as he sat up beside you.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, just..."

"Just what?"

"I dunno." You shrugged off the idea that was forming so clearly in your head.

"Are you sure you're okay, Y/N?" He shuffled to lay on his side to get a better look at you and to be closer to you. Sometimes, you hated how easily he could read you.

A beat of silence passed.

"Have you ever thought about leaving?"

The question made his heart drop, in all honesty. Leaving? He was almost afraid to ask what you meant before you continued.

"Like, don't get me wrong South Park is great, full of memories, but..." You shook your head and shrugged again, continuing to stare straight up at the cracked off-white ceiling. "I just can't stay here anymore."

Kenny was relieved that you didn't mean leaving in the sense of leaving him and breaking up. He loves you to death. He'd follow you anywhere if it meant you could be together.

"What are you suggesting then?" His arm crept down yours until your hands met and your fingers intertwined.

You finally looked up at him and he couldn't help but to admire you, looking so effortlessly pretty.

"Let's leave. Get the fuck out of here."

He admired your confidence too.

"Leave South Park?"

"Yeah, we can start a new life, a better one. Free of judgement." You sat up and turned around to face him, still holding hands. "This town is holding both of us back."

Is he really considering this? Does he want to leave everything behind? Start anew?

"How are we going to afford it?" His concerns were understandable, but little did he know this plan was not a new one.

"Why do you think I work so much?" You countered.

Cogs were turning in his head. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to. It's not like he'd miss anyone here, if anything he wanted to get away as much as you did. He just never realised it before.

Easily persuaded, he said, "then... let's do it."

The both of you knew your lives were about to change. Change for the better.

[elkkiel]

I think we need to take a step back and remind people of things like "don't like, don't read." Fandom culture is feeling increasingly puritanical in what is or is not acceptable to explore in fanworks, and the policing of fan creators is suppressing creativity for fear of public shame or harassment. It's *okay* to explore controversial, fringe, or even taboo topics or opinions. It's okay!! Fiction doesn't equal reality, but it can certainly be a way to reflect upon it. Applying a blanket ban to anything that feels uncomfortable or weird purposefully ignores nuance and differing perspectives, and wow is that a dangerous route to continue following.

Fictional step-siblings whose parents got married later in their lives and never developed a sibling bond might develop other feelings instead. Fictional victims of violent crimes may have complicated relationships with their abuser/attacker that would raise eyebrows for outsiders. Fictional people with horrible, hateful ideologies may also be a victim to their circumstances/upbringing that could paint them in a more sympathetic light. They're all complex explorations of controversial topics, so just slapping on labels like incest or abuse/<ideology> apology completely ignores the nuance of the story and the intentions of the author.

In terms of rpf, of course that gets a lot more complicated. It's important to consider both common human decency/baseline levels of respect and explicity-stated boundaries when dealing with real people. Unsurprisingly, a lot of folks might not be super keen on being depicted in uncomfortable or distasteful scenarios. If you're the one making the fanwork, be careful in how you approach certain topics and consider the impact should the subject of your story see it. If it's really "that bad," put it on private or take measures to limit visibility.

If you're someone who stumbled upon a fanwork that you find offensive, distasteful, or boundary breaking, holy shit do NOT amplify it. I'm by no means saying that people should stay quiet about fucked up things, but again, consider the impact on those who may also end up seeing it. For example, if it's a work that touches on a character's (rpf or not) past CSA, would it do more harm than good to then expose potential real life victims of CSA to that work? In calling out a work or fan author, do you then put that piece of media on the real person's timeline where they otherwise would've avoided it? It's kinda like posting screenshots of offensive tweets with 2 likes to your main account of 5k followers. You might find it fucked up, but now everyone else has seen the fucked up thing while they otherwise would have not. Be mindful of what you bring attention to and if it's necessary to give it attention at all.

So yeah that's my stream of consciousness from spending like 5 minutes on twitter this morning. I may have worded some of this a little weirdly, so feel free to reply/send an ask if anything needs clarification.

[pigtailedgirl]

So a friend made a lovely gif post with the Rays and it got me thinking. I’m gonna put this separate and preface that I’m a seasons 1 and 2 gal, and sometimes I don’t know how to put it... I like Ray Kowalski...but I don’t subscribe to the fan interpretation of and the F/K of it. But I think hey screw that, everybody enjoy what they enjoy, I just want to also share what I see.

So the interesting thing this gif set made me think of is the Rays share the same scenarios (wearing the uniform, arguing with Fraser about the limit and trust he throws them unwillingly into, their history with their fathers, etc.) but have differences in how and whys. 

It’s small things, big impacts, for me and probably only me, in context.

It’s Ray V steals Fraser’s uniform to go help cover for him in Invitation to Romance so he doesn’t get fired, and Ray K steals Turnbull’s uniform to sneak away in Asylum.

It’s the good of Ray K confronting Fraser on his dangerous stunts, and making him be upfront with him. But also Ray K has to do that with Fraser, and that their level of relationship is always having to have this undercurrent of force. I mean, its the episode where they aren’t listening to each other. It’s the punch two parter conclusion. So he responds to Fraser’s not trusting him or leading without consideration of his input, with confrontation. And that impacts imo how Fraser resolves and responds to him. And that they overcome it is good, that Fraser hits him back when asked, that Fraser tells when asked, that they resolve to not get to this again. For me their whole thing here is trust yes, but in communicating intent to each other. Level 1.

So it’s also a very different level of trust, than what Ray V and Fraser are doing in The Vault, and in their broader arguments about Ray being mad when Fraser does his wild acts. Because Ray V and Fraser are arguing beyond do you trust me to do this or follow or communicate it to you and my intent being good. They already believe that. That’s basically a section they quickly move past to get to the deeper part which is do you trust the why of it. The why Fraser thinks or knows Ray is gonna and should follow. The why Fraser does it in the first place. The whole does this actually do any good for us or the outside person or the moral question. Fraser boldly knows and uses Ray V’s trust. Which is a problem. Trust was there, but trust got taken. The Vault is where it bites him that hey you can’t not acknowledge or consider the why from Ray or yourself. Or else you end up drowning in a dumb plan or in a hated uniform. Hence, the scene and argument continues, past the whole after moment of Ray’s I don’t trust you rant ...  where Fraser’s letting him rant and making the oh shit face and does do the patently Fraser pushy thing but also is all about waiting for Ray to say ok to the plan and is telling Ray yeah I guess this is why we do what we do and is really not happy when he thinks Ray won’t agree or follow or trust him. Dare I say Fraser with Ray V leans into needing to explain or have him on board with the plans. Fraser and Ray V aren’t talking about communicating and trusting plans or intents per se, they are talking about communicating and trusting their reasons or relying on each other to see the other and the value of. Whole different ballgame.

And to the difference in Ray K and Ray V with their dads. In being cops. 

Ray K does not have the same level of bad relationship with his Dad that Ray V and Fraser do. Fandom went really weird in trying to make it so, in trying to make Ray K’s dad same level bad parenting but I don’t agree. 

Ray V’s dad was straight up abusive and neglectful per canon. The never hit a kid, the leaving him alone to gamble and making fun of him same time, the camping story.

Fraser too. Bob fucking Fraser and his ghost might have loved his son but hella neglectful parenting and hella damaging upbringing and communication.

What Ray and Fraser do is take lesson on it. Both are damaged by this lack of acknowledgement and love of their fathers, both strive to rectify it through imaging them. Ray in opposition versus acceptance of teachings. Fraser in idealizing what made Bob slightly better, the surface, the job aka the Mountie, and trying his best to ignoring his anger at the failure in absence. And what brings Ray and Fraser together on that is through each other, and that seeing inside they are the same, just two kids grown to men, looking for a good role model and to make good of themselves, they challenge each other to overcome those parental nooses every step.

But Ray K and his father don’t fit that. Because actually Ray K’s dad isn’t the bad parent like that and Ray K isn’t finding himself in contrast to. They, Ray K and his dad, have a fraught relationship yes, but it’s a mutually responsible one. Because he didn’t like his Dad’s job as meat packer, it’s ok, but he never wanted to be or connect with his father through example like the others, and then his dad drops oh I never wanted you to be like me or have that job too,  but when his father also dismissed and therefore invalidated his esteem when he became a cop and said you will still not be better than me, it’s actually a rift because we are alike and don’t want to be rather than reverse. Ray K was an equal in the long years of no contact as an adult after this too. Ray K talks about being a trouble maker youth, but not that his father was punishing of him actually. And his becoming a cop was also about becoming more in his esteem related to having issues in self esteem re the bank robbery, Stella, etc. And his dad is alive. 

I actually think it’s great that Ray K gets to mend with his dad. Gets to bond and learn the lesson they can be happy being alike or respecting that while thinking they had to be better or different to respect each other, there is loved in sharing togetherness or being open with each other. That’s what the GTO is. 

And it’s great in what it brings for how Ray K can be a cop or a friend to Fraser in season 4. More stable and secure in himself. In finding yourself. 

But like I said it’s not parallel like Ray V and Fraser are experiencing. It’s not relating him in whys of job as cop, like Ray and Fraser do as picking cop, a hero versus mob or deadbeat like Pops for Ray V and mountie, a hero, for Fraser. Why that job is their lean in to rebut their fathers. Ray K is gonna be an outsider perspective. In down to the details like he doesn’t do the ghost thing they do, he isn’t told about Fraser’s father like Fraser shares with Ray V. 

Ray K’s father only showed up season 4. His relationship with his dad doesn’t define the why of his character being a cop or his moral whys, like Ray V here or Fraser, so that comparison always is flat to me. 

His definitions is interesting in whys like his esteem issues. His relations with Stella. His seeking Fraser and Fraser seeking partnership with him imo as a way to re-connect and find themselves not knowing how after losing what you thought you had known about yourselves identity and relationship wise. About individuals reclaiming who they want to present of themselves. (And here is where I could go on my long ramble of Fraser seasons 3 and 4, arguably even season 2 was a a man going off the rails having lost the train on how to put himself ahead of his persona, now that he realized he needed more to survive than the persona, and how the whole world of Due South, already fantastical shifted as he went off. He went crazier into the rabbit hole of I am or can be the wacky mountie, and things started to be crazier around him to accept that.)

[yasminsqueendom]

1. Where There's Smoke...

WC: 4304

CW/TW: Mental Health Struggle, Emotional Manipulation, Harassment (at the end)

Micky was used to pain. The emotional kind, not so much the physical. She didn’t feel sorry for herself, though. She had things to do. Big things. She had big dreams. She was a writer. Micky wanted to have her own show on Netflix one day. Blackness was in fashion again, and she was going to cash in on the trend. Since every big corporation was jockeying for the title of the “most inclusive” she was sure there was a space with her name carved into it somewhere. Just gotta find it.

But, something was always in the way. First, it was her needy mother borrowing money from her that she never paid back. Then, it was her grandmother wanting her to put her “super-bitch” cape on to come fix some shit. Or it was her crazy ass brother threatening to kill everybody because he blamed the world for all his problems. She was still fucking her ex, and still pretending that it didn’t mean anything to her. Her friends were flaky at best. Her cat, Rufus, was aging and ill. She got no help, but she gave it all without question. She was effectively alone. Somewhat by choice and somewhat not. 

So, she wrote. 

She wrote about sex, politics, vampires, sorcerers, children, parenting, history, slavery. She only wrote Black shit. She never centered any other perspective in her content. And she almost exclusively wrote from the perspective of women. Her characters were complex. They weren’t heroes, some of them were in fact quite evil. Her characters had fears, and attitudes. Some of them were wholesome. All of them suffered in some way or another. And that was her only regret. She hated that the stories were always tainted by pain. Yes, they usually triumphed in the end, but they had to suffer first. 

Her biggest frustration in Black creative circles was THAT narrative. Pain was a Black woman’s doorway to….what? Success? Love? Peace? Self-Actualization? And Jesus, or some aspect of the church was always sprinkled in. Another annoying part of the narrative. Even when she saw faces like hers on the screen, she still wasn’t represented. Micky knew what the struggle felt like, but she REFUSED to fall into the trap of “Black woman suffers, finds God, finds a man, prays, and all is well.” Life didn’t work that way for so many like her. Yes, struggling was a part of life for a lot of people, but the church wasn’t fixing it.

So, she wrote.

Today, though, she didn’t feel like writing. Her mind was spinning as she considered the phone call she just hung up from. Her brother was veering off the rails again. Threatening his baby’s mother, and scaring all the hags of the family. Tuh. Micky almost had to laugh at that. That’s what she thought of the suddenly “concerned” elderly women of her family who never once cared what was happening with her brother when he was a child. Now that he couldn’t contain his rage anymore, they were calling on her to put her “super-bitch” cape on to save the day. She had told them to shove it. And now, she was doubting her decision.

He had lost it on the phone, calling their mother all kinds of trash ass bitches. He hated her and their grandmother and wanted both of them to die and SOON. Micky was at a loss. A decade separated her and Mark in age. She couldn’t deny the things he told her about his upbringing because she hadn’t been alive for the first ten years of his life. She had to remain neutral. Or should I get involved. But how? 

When her mother had asked, Micky lied and said Mark was just “blowing off some steam,” but she knew better. He had never sounded like this before. He kept repeating how he needed to die. How THEY needed to die. And Micky was shook to the core. How am I supposed to deal with this shit? Why do I always have to come to the rescue? It wasn’t fair. All these grown people, who had been growner than her for most of her 25 years, didn’t want to handle their own fucking problems. It made her mad. It brought up that knot in her chest that she couldn’t break apart. It triggered her anxiety in ways that only her fucked up family could. And yet, she had to stand firm in her truth.

Fact: all the fucked up shit that happened when her brother was growing up took place long before she was even a thought. And, yes, some things happened later, but she was a child through most of it. She had memories of all the loud arguments, and all the times their mother threw him out of the house. She knew her mother had put an unfair amount of pressure on him to take on adult responsibilities, in the absence of both of their fathers. Her brother had never truly been a boy. He’d always had to be a man. Even before Micky was born, their grandmother had worked him like a slave. He knew how to repair electrical systems, and pour cement by the age of 10. It had been brutal, and he never recovered from it.

The part that dug at her heart the most, was that none of the people responsible wanted to own up to that. None of them wanted to come clean and say it outright. They wanted to quiet him, but not heal him. And Micky couldn’t heal him, because his pain wasn’t something she could touch. To him, she was his baby sister that needed protecting. In reality, he had never protected her from anything. But to him, she wasn’t even a viable option to help him. And she knew all of this. Mark needed to burn up his rage slowly so that it wouldn’t explode. He used to smoke and drink it down, but since he’d stopped eating meat, and only eating raw vegetables and occasional starch, sobriety was forcing him to deal with uncomfortable truths. The explosion was coming and she couldn’t stop it. 

Writing was the only thing that made her feel better sometimes. Right now, though, that seemed impossible. She couldn’t find the inspiration to tell a story. She certainly couldn’t gather the strength to tell a story that didn’t involve pain. It was what informed all her decisions. Her survival depended on her being able to get all that shit out somehow.

She looked around her small, raggedy apartment. $15 an hour didn’t get you shit in the city. Rufus, her cat, was curled up on her futon. She almost wished she’d gone to work today, but not really. Her day job was cashiering, and every day at work pushed her to want to get out somehow. She just had to make it. But, between her personal life and work, she couldn’t maintain her motivation. It would come and go in waves. She saw all the online posts about grinding, hustling, and working non-stop until your fingers damn near fell off. But art didn’t work that way. You needed the feeling behind the words. Otherwise, your creations were bullshit. 

Frustration tightened the muscles in her neck and shoulders. A migraine was coming on. The pressure from the hags, and the rage from her brother put her in an uncomfortable position. She didn’t like the chaos that was brewing in her family, but she also knew she couldn’t stop it. She had to get to a point of acceptance, but grief didn’t work like that. It took you all over the place, snatching your edges all the while. Then, leaving you torn up and cross eyed, it dropped you off at “acceptance.” She wanted to scream. More importantly, she wanted to write. 

Her phone buzzed. He is sending threats to your grandma again. Micky wasn’t going to respond to her mother’s text. She had to stand by her decision. Her eyes moved to the corner of her phone screen before it went dark. She had been sitting here for an hour. Lost in her own damn mind for 60 long minutes, barely moving at all. Her legs were numb. Her toes were tingling. She needed a distraction. 

Her phone buzzed again. Wyd. Erik, the ex, was back in town. He hit her up every few months for some ass. She’d let him hit, too. Shit, why not? I’m single. But, she knew exactly why she needed to walk away from him. He wasn’t worth the headache. He was an asshole of immense proportions. She knew the way this would go. Micky would ignore him for hours, maybe even a day. He would send “oh you done with me?” She would reply “what are you talking about?” It would go on and on until he either ended up at her place, or she at his. It was the same thing every time. He would show interest for a week, maybe two. Then, he would disappear again. He wouldn’t even open her messages. She would hate herself for giving in, again. Another few months would go by. She would delete his number, but never block it. She had it memorized so she always knew when it was him. 

And there was her biggest problem, she couldn’t let go of the past. She kept reaching back, and every time she did, she hated herself more. Hell yeah, pain was a part of anything she created. But, she was lonely, and the only people that were always around were the people that needed her for something. Girl, shut up! Now you sound pitiful. She pressed her finger to her phone to unlock it. Another 15 minutes had gone by while she was feeling sorry for herself. 

She typed up her messages. Mom, I can’t deal with that right now. I already told you how I feel. She stood up and leaned against her counter as vertigo overwhelmed her. Her blood rushed through her body, making her nearly faint. When the feeling passed, she typed her other message. Nothing, you? Then, she turned off her phone. She needed to get out of this claustrophobic studio apartment, but she wasn’t going to see Erik, and she certainly wasn’t going over her mom’s. 

Instead, she hopped in her little 2-door hoopty and drove to a park in a nicer area. There was one down the street from where she lived, but it wasn’t nice. The city never had enough “funding” to keep neighborhoods like hers from falling into disrepair. It was all bullshit. Still, she needed a clean space to clear her thoughts enough to write about what weighed on her heart. She kept a journal in her bag, so she was always prepared. When she wasn’t feeling creative, but still needed to express herself, she would write about the very real shit she was living. She found a place to park, rolled down her windows and pulled out her journal and a pen. She never liked to interact with strangers too much. She would walk around after she was done writing, but she rarely engaged with anyone. Another thing I have to work on. Being comfortable alone. The words began to pour out of her:

Here I am about to be this man’s slut again. I never write his name down, or even save his number, but I always know. And he knows, too. He ain’t shit, but I keep fucking him because he likes it and so do I. I need to feel something different sometimes. Even when I know he’s just going to hurt me again. It’s worth it at the time. Be honest, bitch, you like that shit. You like that you don’t need to do anything. You like how effortless it is at first, but then he pulls away again, and you realize you fell for him again. You’re so fucking stupid.

Micky needed to pause. This wasn’t how she intended to write about her day. After a few deep breaths, she started again:

Anyway, the family is off the rails again. It’s sickening. I have to keep being super-bitch and it’ll be the damn death of me. Fuck that. I have to learn the power of the word ‘no’ or I’m assed out. I come from a broken family. A family that breaks the men it makes. Not on some hotep shit, though. It’s just hard as fuck being Black. Mothers keep their sons so fucking close and then release them thoroughly unprepared for the world. Niggas ain't innocent, though. They don't know how to navigate spaces without a display of "dominance," and they certainly don't teach their daughters how interactions with men should look.

Her thoughts kept going to dark places. She was losing interest in journaling. Not a first, sometimes months would go by before she could write down that inner monologue. It rarely ended on a good note. She decided she would write the next time some good shit happened to her. That way she would break up the monotony of negative thoughts. Yeah right.

She wrote some more until her hand ached. Closing her eyes, she listened to the sounds of people moving around her. Kids were playing on the slides. Dogs barked at each other from opposite sides of the street. Some lowered voices carried on the wind, a laugh sprinkled here and there. Overall, a happy ass place. Somehow, this illusion of contentment put Micky further in her feelings. There was no way all these people were this…..pleased. 

Whoa, bitch. Be realistic. These people had problems, too. At least, that was a reasonable expectation. Micky just didn't want them to look so…. happy, because she was so damn sad. Once she could put into words the dark feelings that swam in the depths of her soul, she started to feel better. She could walk around looking just as happy if she really wanted to. She needed a change of scenery. It was her day off and here she was worrying herself about things she could not control. That simply would not do.

Eventually, Micky rolled up her windows and got out of her car. She considered her appearance: a hoodie, tights, sneakers, hair twisted into a protective style. Her hair only came just below her ears. She liked it better that way, it was easier to manage. She didn't wear makeup despite the acne scars on her forehead. The weather was cooler than her preference, sitting at 65 degrees. But, her anemic ass was always cold. It was just another fact of life for her. Nobody cares how I look. Stop worrying about shit that don’t matter.

She started walking. After a while, the happy sounds around her grated on her ears. She reached into her hoodie pocket for her phone. She didn’t know what notifications she expected, but her phone was eerily silent. It had been a couple of hours and no one had responded to her yet. Somehow, this pissed her off even more. Music. She opened up her music app, looking for her “Bad B!tch” playlist. She had left her earbuds in her bag, and her bag was tucked just under the backseat of her car. Damn. She looked around, no one was close enough to hear her music if she played it quietly.

Micky resumed her walk, lost in her morbid thoughts, when she heard the last voice she expected. “Hey, Ms. Thang.” She nearly jumped out of her skin. There is no fucking way! She felt that familiar hand rest in the middle of her back. The intent was to calm her down, but calm was the last feeling moving through her body. She turned to face the man of her dreams and nightmares.

“Erik?” she ground out. Of course her ex would be here. Why not?

“Why you jump like that? You know who I am.”

“What the fuck! You know better than to run up on me like that!” The anger was coming back, now that the fear wore off. How dare he creep on her? AND have the nerve to touch her without identifying himself first. They both came from hard places. He knew that was disrespectful at best. His shit-eating grin proved it.

“I live near here. You know that. I wasn’t creeping on you, ma. Chill.” She wanted to punch that fine ass face almost as bad as she wanted to kiss those thick ass lips. He caught her eyes wandering. “See something you want?” This nigga. Micky turned to walk away. After a pause, she heard his footsteps behind her. “What’s wrong, ma? You usually more talkative than this.” Leave it to him to feel observant today. 

“I’m not in the mood for this, Erik. How did you know I was down here?”

“I didn’t know. It’s a beautiful day, and I had some free time.” Micky pursed her lips at that. 

“It’s a Tuesday. Why aren’t you at work?” Why of all times did he have to be here now?

“Oh, you know my schedule now?” Those damn dimples popped. Certain body parts of hers twitched in response.

“Nah. I know YOU.” She kept walking. He had almost immediately caught up with her. It took nearly no effort. He stood at 6 feet and 1 whole inch. That’s how he always said it to her. “One whole inch, ma.” It was disgustingly cute. Meanwhile, her 5 feet 6 inches brought her forehead right to his lips. “So why you not at work?” She asked again.

“I just got back in town yesterday. After I slept off the jetlag, I hit you up. I’m not due back in the office until tomorrow. And you clearly not at work either.” He let the sentence hang. The implication was clear. Did she want to spend that free time with him? 

“I just needed some fresh air. You brought me here a couple times. I come here on my own now. And honestly, I like it that way.” Now, think on that. 

“You tryna tell me to leave you alone?” She looked up at him. She wanted a distraction, but she was feeling a little too vulnerable for this game right now. The timing was too bad. He looked good as hell in those basketball shorts and that tight ass t-shirt. She openly raked her eyes all over him, making it clear what her desire was. But she made sure to look him right in the eyes when she spoke.

“Yes, Erik. That’s exactly what I’m saying.” She watched as his confidence wavered slightly. He was confused by her words contradicting her body language. Suddenly, his vibe changed. He hadn’t made another move, but all of him was focused intently on her. God dammit. This nigga think I wanna play cat and mouse. He looked like he would chase her if she ran. “Oh, aiight.” He finally responded.

She turned away from him again, focusing on the song that was playing on her phone. There were no footsteps behind her this time. After the song ended, she peaked back one time. He was nowhere to be seen. Because that’s not creepy as fuck. But, she wasn’t going to worry herself about it. After the way her day was going, she didn’t have the energy for the bullshit. 

Eventually, it was time to turn back. Her phone showed her that another 2 hours had gone by. It may be mid-Spring, but it was 6:00 in the evening. The sun would be going down soon. There weren’t as many people around as before. Damn, it’s the tail end of rush hour, too. She decided to slow walk her way back to her car. The fresh air had done her good. Her phone was still quiet. No one else had messaged her. It would have been a relief if it weren’t for the undeniable feeling of trouble brewing. Her anxiety was cutting up, but she wasn’t likely to ignore a gut feeling. And this feeling was deeper than usual. 

The sound of someone walking behind her got her attention. She turned the music off on her phone and pulled up her dial screen. If she was in danger, she would be ready to call for help. She gripped her house keys in her other hand in case she needed to protect herself. She shrugged until she could feel her pocket knife loosen in her bra. Micky didn’t play that shit. She had been distracted earlier, but Erik’s antics had straightened that shit out real quick.

“Yo, ma!” It wasn’t Erik’s voice this time. Fuck. She walked faster, choosing to increase distance rather than to turn around and engage. “Slow down, sexy. I’m just tryna holler.” She released her keys in her pocket and reached instead for the blade in her bra. They usually went away if she ignored them. She wasn’t going to jump to conclusions just yet. He would get the message either way. “Don’t be like that. Damn, you fine.” Micky was getting fed up. She had walked in a vaguely triangular shape, so she wasn’t too far from her car now. The thought of this creep following her all the way there made her skin crawl. She had to act.

“Thank you, but I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Have a good night!” Hopefully, he would get the message, but Micky knew better than to expect a fool to act smart. “Come on, sexy. You won’t even give me a chance? That’s fucked up.” Fuck. Clearly, dude wasn’t getting the message. “Don’t be a bitch. That shit ain’t cool. Come on, girl. Let a nigga hit for the one time.” Micky gripped her knife, and slowed her walking, controlling her breathing. She could see her car now. It would only be a short sprint to the vehicle. He wouldn’t be expecting her to run. “Bring ya ass here!” His voice sounded much closer, causing her to jump. When she looked back, he was almost in reach. She couldn’t see him that well, as the sun was setting behind him.

“I will stab you. Back the fuck up!” He paused at that. It was finally getting through his thick skull that she didn’t want shit from him. At that exact moment, her phone started buzzing in her hand. “I’ma get my nigga to fuck you up! This him right now!” She didn’t even look when she answered the phone. The idiot had slowed down, but he clearly wasn’t giving up. She answered her phone, and acted the part.

“Hey, baby. I’m in the park still, right by the parking lot. Somebody following me.” There was a short pause before she heard “Get to the car. I’ll be there. Stay on the line.” She obeyed, never once turning her back on the asshole that was bothering her, she cleared the last 30 or so feet to the car. “My nigga coming, so you might wanna disappear.” She didn’t want to look away from him to focus on getting her key in the door. So she stood next to her car, watching him watch her. He hovered about 10 feet away, clearly debating on if she was lying or not about help coming. 

Headlights blinded her for a moment as a brand new Lincoln Navigator screeched into the parking lot. At this point, the park was mostly empty, all the parents had taken their kids home. No one was around. Micky decided to use this exact moment as a distraction to get in her car. She turned the key in the ignition, put it in reverse, and started to back out when she noticed that Erik was hopping out the Navigator. Oh shit! He really came. She knew he only lived 5 minutes away, but she hadn’t expected him to show up. 

He turned toward her car. “This him right?” Before she could respond, the dumbass started booking it away from them. Erik looked like he was about to chase after him, until she rolled down her window and yelled at him to stop. He glared at her, but at this point the would-be attacker had a head start. It wasn’t worth the chase. 

“You aiight?” Erik walked toward her car, keeping one eye in the direction the dumbass had run.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Micky flashed her blade before replacing it in her bra. She sat in her car for a moment, staring straight ahead. This is too much. The tears came hot and fast. There was no way this day could get worse. And then to top it all off, she was crying in front of Erik. His eyes were wide as saucers since he’d never seen her cry before. She turned her face away from him. Of all the times to cry, I had to do it now? She heard her car door open.

“Turn it off.” Micky obeyed the quiet command. “Come on. I’ma take you home.”

“No, it’s cool. I can drive. I just need a second. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I just don’t want you sitting here in case he comes back.”

That made sense to her. She restarted her car. “Thank you for coming. I didn’t even look to see who was calling me. I should have known it would be you.”

“Ain’t nothing. You want me to come over?”

“Erik, I don’t want sex right now.”

“That’s cool. I wasn’t offering it.” That got her attention. Since when?

“Whatchu mean?”

He had the audacity to look offended. “I’ll follow you, okay?” He closed her door and started his car up again. True to his word, he waited for her to pull off before he followed.

[rnisa]

Beyond Birthday Headcanons

Hi all, just some little Headcanons. Some are general HCs, other are x reader. As much as I love DN, there are too many empty gaps that just weren't filled, leaving so many questions unanswered. These are personal headcanons, you don't have to like them or agree with any - it's purely for my own enjoyment. NOTHING here is factual.

★BB left Wammy's when he was roughly 18. Up until then, he acted as a big brother figure for most of the children. Many looked at him as such, but he was quickly forgotten any time L was brought into the picture.

★ An obvious one, but A's sui'cide hurt him deeply. I don't think BB ever really liked being at Wammy's in the first place. He stayed as long as he did because it provided him certain comforts such as shelter and access to information, food, etc. Basically, it was just easier, and he stayed until he aged out of it. But he never liked the concept of being raised to succeed L. He hated what it did to A. However, he figured as long as he's there, he mind as well make the most of it - explaining the "taking L to the extreme" thing.

★ To add to the above, A's death was the final tipping point, what made him snap. He saw Wammy's as a sick institution rather than a goal.

★At a young age as a kid, he made comments, alluding to him having the Shinigami eyes. Of course he didn't have a name for what he was experiencing, but he asked about, "those numbers floating over your head". I think many adults passed it off as his imagination, but many of the other children found him creepy. Eventually, he stopped bringing it up once he caught on that it wasn't normal. Pretty sure he figured out what his eyes did when he lost both of his parents. He swore he would never love anyone as much as he loved them.

★ I do believe that BB was wrongfully medicated at some points in his life (given medication for things he didn't have, etc.) not out of malice intentionally, just...wrong diagnosis and negligence.

★ I think BB could have been saved. I am deliberately going against the canon here but, I honestly disagree with the ending that, "he was arrested and got killed by Kira in prison". Maybe it's wishful thinking but I could see L taking pity on him, and at least getting him help, hope for reforming him. Perhaps just as he's making significant process, he gets shanked by Kira, but still...I don't think L would have simply thrown his ass in jail and be done with it. Personally, I think L does feel sorrow over A's sui'cide, and is horrified at what BB became. L blames himself in a way. L wanted to save him.

★ ..Then again B could have just gone, "fuck your help I'd rather be in prison and rot," ...

★ After Wammy's house, we know he ends up in America somehow, and L was searching for him. He can't have been much younger than L. I refuse to believe they never...met? I think they did meet at a certain point, perhaps when they were very very small. B's imitation is based on what he thinks L would have grown as into adulthood - to the extreme, of course.

★ I don't think he was ever the type to harm other or animals as a child, but I do think he had a knack for starting fires and causing general mischief. It was always well thought-out, carefully planned mischief, that was the main cause for worry. He loved watching gruesome slasher and horror films way too young and was very desensitized very early on.

★ Didn't have a really healthy upbringing. I feel that he was close with one of his parents and they did their best but had a multitude of issues and were ultimately unequipped to raise a child. Love isn't enough when you're raising a whole person.

★ I think he could fall in love easily, but he himself thinks he is incapable of loving. He cannot imagine anyone possibly loving him, I think. At least romantically. He has his situation and his grand plan thought out too well and meticulously to really consider it, but I think he would love to flirt (poorly) and toy with people teasingly because he's turned on when people find him disgusting, or off-putting. I think someone reciprocating his advances would throw him off in a really funny way, but he's great at improv so he'll manage. Just a lot of tension building up until something happens.

★ This might sound weird but I can see him (coincidentally and unwillingly) falling for someone who was destined to die shortly after his sui'cide attempt. Oh god that's even worse imagine his heartbreak when he survives/is caught by Naomi and then his S/O dies not too long after. Oof.

★ His love is a bit obsessive but I can't see him...hurting someone he truly loves. Physically.

Feel free to ask for more...but this is long enough? If you agree or disagree with anything feel free to add on!

[yiling-daddy]

Yes, that was me! I can definitely expand on my thoughts re: how Madam Yu’s behaviour reads differently to me due to my traditional, Chinese upbringing.

There is a lot of subjectivity as to whether Madam Yu can be read as abusive, and this reading is often influenced by culture—hence you often see completely off-base takes floating around. However, to me, the way that cultural context influences the reading will actually change depending on the relationship, so I will discuss each one separately. Most of the culturally insensitive takes are about her being an abusive or uncaring mother (she’s not), or that she’s a spurned woman (it’s more complicated than that), so you can skip down to the JC, JYL, and CSSR sections for that.

Madam Yu and Wei Wuxian

As a trend, I think western fandom tends to simplify Wei Wuxian’s dynamic with the Jiang family into an entire adopted family. Consequently, Yu Ziyuan gets perceived as this two-dimensional, evil stepmom figure—but I think this doesn’t capture the truth.

There’s a bit more variability among Chinese audiences when they read the Jiang family dynamic, partly due to our deeper familiarity with wuxia tropes, but mostly because there's a mediocre Netflix translation colouring the western interpretation. Though many Chinese fans do view them all as a sort of family unit and read Madam Yu as a stepmother, I do not. To me, Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli view Wei Wuxian as family—but Madam Yu does not. Madam Yu views him as a servant, a disciple of the sect, and an outsider at the dinner table—and it’s not wrong for her to do so. It’s not gracious, but it’s not unfounded. I don’t think Wei Ying ever gives any indication that he views her as a mother, either.

If you agree that they don’t have anything like a mother-son relationship, all these insults/complaints that Yu Ziyuan levels at him—that he’s the “son of a servant”, that Jiang Fengmian is weird for openly favouring Wei Wuxian over his own son, etc.—these start to make sense? Like, it’s shitty to listen to, but none of it is wrong. Suddenly it reads less like pointless insults and more like actual points.

Additionally, if we consider that Wei Wuxian is a disciple of the sect who goes around and raises the ire of the Wen clan, corporal punishment suddenly looks very normal (again, within the culture). Hence, when I watched the donghua and CQL, I hated seeing Wei Wuxian getting whipped, but I didn’t perceive this as abuse—especially because of the political nature of the decision.

But it is definitely still possible to mistreat a disciple.

In CQL, you see Madam Yu throwing an unnecessary amount of vitriol at Wei Ying. In the novel extras, it's revealed that she regularly whipped him but never whipped the other disciples, indicating that it wasn't normal corporal punishment. She also whipped him for absurdly stupid reasons. To me, this signals that she tended to abuse her authority over him. Even if you don’t view her as an abusive mother to Wei Ying, it's fair to read her as an abusive authority figure.

Importantly however, "abuse" is a loaded word suggesting a violation of social norms, and again, the situation is complicated because the social norms of the setting don't match those of the modern world. Madam Yu is not overstepping her bounds as master of Lotus Pier—hence, people do not think very much of this treatment in-universe, including Wei Ying himself.

Madam Yu, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli

Okay, when I first watched CQL, I cringed when Madam Yu started dragging her family because she sounded like My Actual Chinese Mother. I felt for a second like I had transmigrated into Jiang Cheng’s body and I was experiencing his agony firsthand!

Madam Yu reads very realistically, and I think this is why it gets personal for a lot of Chinese people when this fandom discusses her character. Yes, she belittles and hurts her children for their perceived failures, but many Chinese people can tell you that this is just a common parenting style. And while it might look like bullying to an outsider, this behaviour is usually motivated by love. It is often also motivated by fear that the child’s future will be substandard. This is textually obvious when you consider what exactly Madam Yu yells about:

She snaps at Yanli to stop peeling lotus pods, because she shouldn’t act like a servant. If Yanli keeps behaving so passively, what kind of role is she going to fall into in the future—especially given that she is not a cultivator?

She berates Jiang Cheng for always being inferior to Wei Wuxian no matter what he does. If Jiang Cheng is constantly overshadowed by Wei Wuxian, what will that mean for his future as sect leader? Or his future status and reputation among the sects?

I can do these Chinese Mom Translations because parents in real life will actually say things like this out of concern for their children (insults included), in an attempt to motivate them... and it really does light a fire under our asses. I attribute many of my personal successes to this parenting style. Thus, when I see posts like “Madam Yu didn’t show any sign of caring for others” or "Madam Yu was a purely selfish and arrogant person" or “Madam Yu is an abusive mother and nothing else"—well, I can tell most of these people are not Chinese, or if they are, then they likely did not have a traditional upbringing.

While I don't think these uninformed readings of Madam Yu are necessarily racist, I do think they they are unpleasant for Chinese fans to constantly see. For those of us in the west that had this type of upbringing, we often struggle with trying to frame and process our relationships with our parents. For me, this was partly due to the emotional baggage of my upbringing (Jiang Cheng winning!!!)... but it was also because white society kept telling me that my parents didn't give a shit about me when obviously they did. That’s fucked up to experience. It reeks of cultural imperialism. Thus, when I see Chinese people getting annoyed at these Madam Yu takes, I’m not surprised. This is unfortunately a fictional discussion that very much resembles a real one for us.

Yu Ziyuan, Jiang Fengmian, and Cangse Sanren

A lot of people view Madam Yu as a spurned woman and assume that is her motivation for constantly antagonizing Wei Wuxian and her husband. But because I assume that a lot of her chaotic yelling stems from her concerns as an Actual Chinese Mother, my take is different.

Remember the scene where Madam Yu catches Jiang Fengmian scolding Jiang Cheng just after praising Wei Wuxian? She drags Jiang Cheng up to his father and, in both CQL and the donghua, says something to this effect (paraphrased from memory):

This is your son, the future master of Lotus Pier! Even if you don’t like him because he was born to me, his surname is still Jiang!

And in CQL, she also says this right after berating Jiang Cheng for not measuring up to Wei Wuxian:

But it’s not your fault. Your mother is no match for his mother.

Yu Ziyuan isn’t angry about Cangse Sanren because she’s jealous; she is angry about Cangse Sanren because she thinks Jiang Fengmian’s feelings for her are jeopardizing his competence as a father to Jiang Cheng. Viewed in this light, it also makes sense why Yu Ziyuan is hostile to Wei Wuxian in a way that alienates him from the family—constantly calling him the son of a servant, pointing out the rumours about his parentage, etc. She’s not doing this because she hates Cangse Sanren or Wei Wuxian; she’s doing it because Wei Wuxian’s presence in the family is threatening Jiang Cheng’s future in her eyes.

Bonus: Did Yu Ziyuan love Jiang Fengmian?

Yes! In both the donghua and CQL (I ashamedly admit I don’t clearly remember the novel), I thought their final moments made it quite evident that they cared for each other. They fought together, died together to protect their home, and reached out to one another in their final moments.

But when I rewatched Madam Yu’s scenes in CQL and the donghua, I realized we got other hints that westerners probably missed. I'll focus on CQL:

Right before Jiang Fengmian sets off with Yanli for Lanling, Madam Yu sees them off. She gives Yanli some snacks and then—without making eye contact with Jiang Fengmian—says that she’s also giving them medicine in case someone gets a headache. Jiang Fengmian pauses, because it’s obviously for him.

This is recognizable behaviour for a lot of Chinese people. I can’t tell you how many times my mother got apoplectic at me, and then the only follow-up was her going out of her way to make me my favourite meal. The chaotic yelling you see between Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan is also pretty typical to many Chinese parents, and again, the follow-up in my household was often one of them going out of their way to do something for the other.

This is just how the culture is in a lot of families. “Sorry” isn’t expressed in words; it's expressed in actions. “I love you” isn’t expressed in words; it’s expressed in actions. In Chinese culture, the dominant love language is acts of service. It's fleeting, but we get glimpses of that kind of love between Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian. 

[blackinn-n]

Blackinnon headcanons (because @marlymckitten’s lovely ones got me to write a bit again <3 go check on hers!!!!)

Yes. It’s sappy. But I love sappy Blackinnon. I can’t bear angst any longer so enjoy!

Sirius fell in love with her before she fell in love with him. Actually, he fell in love with Marlene before James fell in love with Lily, even if he took longer to realize it. He unconsciously developed a crush on her during their first year and recognize his messy feelings as love when he was a bit older. Anyway, he liked to say to her that he had loved her since he was a kid and Marlene used to roll her eyes and call him a sappy liar — but Sirius was not lying. Not even a bit.

I personally hc that they didn’t start dating at Hogwarts. Sirius was, emotionally, too much of a mess to actually sort out what he felt. It was not that he wasn’t sure of her — he knew he loved Marlene. He was certain of that. He was just scared to hurt her in any way possible, and though less of himself — he though he wasn’t able to make her happy, and he could not bear it.

It was Marlene who made the first move. One night, she just kissed him. They were alone in London, laughing, smoking and chatting at 1 AM while the rest of the gang had already went home. She just did it. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. Hard, passionately. It took him out of breath.

As their relationship became solid, it was clear to both of them that what was happening was that.. they were settling. To Sirius, the word has seem horrendous till she had told him what she felt for him. But he was happier that he had ever been with her and was actually pretty content with the perspective of being hers for the rest of his life.

They weren’t too much into PDA. Sirius resting a hand on her tights, or holding hands was ok — but they couldn’t stand couples who made out constantly while they were out with friends. It was totally different when they were drunk: in that occasions they could not take their hands off each other and used to disappear so as to shag in some bathroom or to go home (to shag. Yes, they did it nonstop)

They had a matching tattoo. They had gone out one evening in March, just the two of them. It was supposed to be a romantic dinner but it had naturally lead to a drunk night in some club in London. After that, they had found some weird (and probably too dirty to be trusted) tattoo shop which was still opened at night and decided to go for it. They were too tipsy to be taken seriously, but managed to explain to the tattooer what they wanted. At the end, Sirius got the written “star of the sky” in Marlene’s handwriting, and she had “star of the sea” in his, on their pelvis. It was sappy, they knew it, but it was them.

Marlene absolutely adored Sirius. She thought he was breathtaking. That’s true, a lot of people thought that — Sirius was indeed a very handsome man, but to Marlene, Sirius was much more than that. Marlene loved everything about him. She loved stroking his hair and caressing the side of his face. She loved when he took her hands into his. She loved kissing his full lips and holding his gaze, despite it made her blush most of the time. She loved feeling his weight on her when he fell asleep while cuddling. She loved feeling him inside of her, it made her feel a sense of fullness and connection she had never felt with someone before.

James was so happy when they got together. He wasn’t even the slightest angry or upset at them, though they knew he would have killed them both if they hurt each other.

Lily was ecstatic when they started dating, too. Perhaps even more than her husband, considering she was the first person Sirius admitted he was in love with Marlene to. It happened during their seventh year at Hogwarts. Lily was looking for Marls — she knew the Astronomy Tower was her and Sirius’ spot and expected to find her there, but only him was present that evening. They talked quite a lot and at one point he just slipped it out. It felt so scaring, but so, so good. Lily promised not to tell a soul, not even to James and Sirius trusted her. She also advised him to tell her, but he knew he needed more time.

He desired a family with her but was scared to bring the topic up — he didn’t really think he would have really been much of a father material with the upbringing he had. His worse nightmare was perhaps inflicting on his children the same pain he had had to endure during his childhood — the idea scared him shitless. But one day, they talked about it. They approached the subject shyly, as if having different perspectives would have risked to break what they had. When Sirius told her it would have be nice, to have kids one day, Marlene could not suppress the wide, genuine smile that appeared on her face. “You’d really want them?” “Yes. With you, I would want them. I think I would be a shit father, but with you to balance I think they’d turn up nice” “That’s bullshit. You will be a wonderful dad.” “I will be? Not “would”?” “Yep. You will. I think we should talk about it… having kids, one day.” Sirius had never been happier.

Marlene’s family was fond of Sirius. Her parents and brother especially. And of course Euphemia and Fleamont loved Marlene — she was James’ first friend ever. Euphemia confessed them once that she had been planning their wedding since fifth year (James laughed a bit to much for Marlene’s liking after hearing that).

Marlene once had called Walburga Black a “fucking cow”. She hadn’t just called her that, she had YELLED it on the platform before taking Sirius hand and making him follow her on the train. She had heard a sneaky comment from her: it was the usual babbling about Sirius being a shame, a failure for being how he was, for hanging out with dirty mudbloods and staying at the Potters. She could not take it. Although her mother (who had intercepted her daughter’s furious expression) had tried to stop her, she had just walked over and yelled at Walburga Black, a witch from a noble and ancient family in the Magical Community, that she was a fucking cow. Around lots, lots of people. Sirius thought he had never loved her more.

Once Sirius told her he wanted to shave his beard, and she screamed, horrified and threatened not to have sex with him for a month if he really did it.

For his 23rd birthday, Marlene gifted him a handful of Polaroids of her nudes, along with his real present. Sirius remained in total awe for a few seconds and then looked at her like a puppy who has received the best toy ever. He really was a simple man, not needing much to be happy.

Sirius couldn’t cook for shit. He could barely prepare a toast without burning something. And most of the time, when he was hungry, he forgot he could use magic. That meant he was not able to surprise her with breakfast in bed or some thing like that — okay, he knew how to make coffee or how to spread jam on bread, he was not that dumb. Anyway, Marlene used to tease him by saying he would starve if she refused to cook for the rest of his days. “I can always eat you, you know” “You are incredible, Black”

7th year’s St Valentine’s Day was perhaps the worst one Marlene had spent in her seventeen years on the Earth. Not that she had ever celebrated it (she hated St Valentine’s Day, the sappy promises, the fake couples who put on a good face during the trip to Hogsmeade so as to show off even if half school knew one of them was shagging someone else. She just couldn’t bear it), but that year every. single. one of her friends had a date. Lily went with James, Remus had gone to Hogsmeade with a bloke he had met in the summer, Alice went with Frank, Mary had been asked by a quite good looking boy who was part of the same club as hers, Emmeline and Dorcas went together (their first public trip after their coming out) and even Peter had managed to set up a date with a really nice girl he had had a crush on since fifth year. And Sirius… well, she supposed he was shagging three or four girls at the same time. Marlene spent most of her time in the library, catching up with her homework, and after a rather depressing lunch alone she hid herself in the Common Room who was occupied only by first and second years who could not go to the village yet. She read a book until she heard someone calling her name. She didn’t even had to turn around to know who it was. Nobody called her Lene. They walked through the empty corridors and corners of the school, perfectly comfortable with one another. He asked her what she had done that day, but she didn’t ask him back. She didn’t want to know if he had gone to Hogsmeade with someone. What she didn’t know was that, yes, he had gone to the village… to buy her flowers. They following morning, when she woke up, she found a beautiful bouquet of tulips — her favorites — of all colors. The was no card attached and it took Lily twenty minutes to convince Marlene that they really were for her.

Marlene’s dream had always been to visit Paris. When she was ten, she promised herself that she would only have gone with the love of her life — Marlene pretended to be nauseated by romance, but the truth was that she was a hopeless romantic herself. She kept the promise. One year or so into their relationship, Sirius and Marlene stayed in Paris for a week. One night they went to a bar and returned to the apartment quite intoxicated and extremely horny, so the usual. They shagged everywhere, on the couch, on the bed, on the floor, by the fucking window, not caring who could see them. Once they were finished, they were laying on the couch, naked, only covered by a thin blanket to protect them from the chilly air, their bodies entangled. She told him about her promise. He just looked at her, his eyes full of pure love. And he told her. And it was not scary, quite the contrary, actually. “I love you” he simply said. “I love you so much, Marls” She tried to reply, but her voice was thick with emotion. He understood anyway and gently kissed her, thinking he had finally found something worth living for. And it was love, it had always been love.

[irish-urn]

You are most certainly NOT talking out if your ass and I fucking love that you referenced Gilmore Girls because YES, EXACTLY. 90% of the time, Lorelai and Rory get along swimmingly– because they're friends before anything. But as soon as there's even a slight disagreement, Lorelai treats it as if it's WW3. We see this as early as EPISODE ONE. and Rory, rightfully so, does not take well to her mother acting like a mother. And yes, she was a teen mom, and yes she did leave an emotionally abusive situation (I know Emily and Richard got better but BIG yikes early on) and I know she really did grow up with Rory– all of that is valid, BUT by doing all of that, Lorelai needs to face the consequences of her actions which she doesn't do. She just expects Rory to listen to her when she's in Mom Mode.

(There are a crazy amount of parallels between Gilmore Girls and LWD and I'm kinda freaking out because I've never come across someone else who's seen it. Derek really is a mixture between Logan and Jess GAH NO WONDER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH)

But!!!!!! It's so realistic (I'm the same anon who comes from a blended family) I DID have the mom who treated me more like a friend than a daughter. I DID have the mom who got remarried and who's kids were kind of shuffled off to the side because she was too busy with life, and her new marriage, etc. etc. (Not trying to trauma dump here just trying to say how realistic I feel like LWD is 😂) and I WAS the asshole daughter who just raised an eyebrow on the rare occasion that my mom tried to discipline me.

I can go on for hours about how perfectly dysfunctional the McDonald-Venturi's are.

(Let me be clear, I do think everyone is happy and everything worked out. But YIKES, G&N did NOT think through their marriage and their current relationships with their children before they tied the knot.)

YES LET'S CONTINUE YELLING AT EACH OTHER IN EPIC-LONG RESPONSES.

(If these are different anons, that's cool too!!! I'm just laughing at how we're literally writing essays to each other — I love it, but it's funny.)

OKAY, so there are so many things here I want to respond to, and it's gonna be a big ol' mess because now we're talking about two of my favourite TV shows at the same time.

SO. Lorelai Gilmore is a very good mom in many ways, especially in how she almost always puts Rory first. She very obviously considers Rory in almost everything she does (a couple of exceptions being her love life, but Rory's 16 before that happens, and Lorelai is kinda rusty with the dating-thing, and honestly, flaws make characters interesting) and has tried her best to ensure that their life together is as different as possible from HER childhood because, yes, emotional abuse and trauma is there for sure. BUT, in creating a family that is so vastly different from her upbringing, she's gone to the opposite extreme, so that they can be co-dependent on each other, AND, yeah, Lorelai doesn't do well when Rory thinks things very differently than Lorelai (see the whole Jess thing, and her relationship with Emily and Richard). She's not a perfect parent, but she ADORES Rory.

Is the biggest difference between Lorelai and Nora&George that Lorelai was always a single parent, and G&N are divorcees, or is it that Lorelai only had Rory while N&G had multiple children? Maybe both? Either way, all three of them obviously love their kids and are trying to raise them... But, like, there's a lot of letting the kids raise themselves because they're too overwhelmed to give the effort/time needed (and I would argue that Derek needs a lot more raising than Casey; here's another question: is that because of who George and Abby are, because there's 3 kids instead of 2, because there's such an age gap between Marti and Edwin (and therefore, Derek), or because of who Derek is as a person?). And, again, I'm not hating on them for this or calling them terrible people. They're not; they're very human. But it makes for interesting discussions and critical analyses.

NOW. Is Derek a combination of Jess and Logan???? Uh. Wow. Yes. Damn.

Okay, so for all that I'm a MASSIVE Literati shipper, I actually like Logan as a character very much. He amuses me and I think he's interesting. The reason I ship Jess/Rory is because I like who Rory is with Jess more than who she is with Logan. I like that Jess sees Rory's flaws, will call her out on them, and then encourage her to fix her problems, give advice, and try to help her be the best version of herself that she can be (a LOT of this only happens in Season 6 and the Revival, but that's because Jess is finally okay enough to offer that kind of support), all the while working on himself to be the best version of himself that he can be. He wants them to grow together and bloom and thrive. Logan always struck me as seeing Rory's flaws and saying, 'Hey, cool, you're just as flawed as me;' and instead of trying to work on them together, he used it as justification for him to continue on his merry way. If they're both selfish, entitled, ambitious, fun-seeking hotties, then there's no need to improve, because they're in the same boat. He wants them to stay just the way they are, because he's happy with the way things are.

Wow, never done a critical analysis like that before, but here we are.

THEREFORE: Although I realize that high-school Derek is more of a Logan than a Jess (although there is a LOT of Jess traits in there too), I think I write adult!Derek more like Season 6 Jess with the Logan gift of gab and faux-casualness because that's how I see him maturing when he's working on becoming the best version of himself. I am a romantic at heart, I think, and so my college-verse is a bit of a "in a perfect world, Casey and Derek would understand each other and work as a team to grow as they go" (blatantly quoting Ben Platt there, but that song nails a good part of what I think a healthy relationship is). Casey is only a Rory in that they're both nerds and keeners and a little clumsy, but they are very different and I like that. :)

THE OTHER THING is thank you for some insight into the realism of this kind of parent-child relationship. It's fascinating to me, who doesn't think of her mom as her friend at all, even though she is probably one of my best friends, but I would never call her that, because she's first and foremost my mother.

(Dad is def DAD. He's amazing and I'm so lucky to have him and his wisdom and his consideration, but he is not my friend. He's my father.)

FINALLY: I do think that the McTuris are happy and that overall, the family did work out, yes!! But, yeah, like you, the lack of consideration on how to blend the families and how to make it easier on the kids (especially the older ones who aren't as adaptable as the younger ones, and who probably feel entitled to a lot of say in what happens to their family) is, uh... problematic.

[daydreamstew]

(did I sent you one already? who cares yolo) brio + 58

thank you, paloma!! 💕🥰 look at you trying to get me to write angst! HA! enjoy my first ever college au instead 🤪

58. “I made a mistake.”

“I made a mistake,” Beth blurts out as soon as the door to Rio’s room swings open.

Her pleading eyes meet his sleep-bleary ones, blinking from the fluorescent lights of their rundown dorm hallway. He must’ve still been sleeping.

That’s when she glances down, eyes going wide when she realizes that the only thing he’s wearing is basketball shorts, sitting low on his hips revealing that v muscle thing and a happy trail leading to, well, a morning wood situation even though it’s the afternoon.

Her gaze darts back up to Rio, now sporting a smug grin and raised eyebrows, but she just squares her shoulders in spite of the flush she can feel blotting her cheeks.

“Yeah, what’d you do?” he asks, eyes dipping down to look her over like always.

“I forgot to bring my key with me when I left for class and the door locked behind me and now I’m locked out and my notes for my comp gov exam are in there and I can’t study without them and I need an A on it to bump my grade up,” she explains in one breath, eyes wide.

Rio shifts to lean against his door frame, his muscles rippling from the movement and she has to stop herself from staring for too long because she cannot be looking at him, another fellow RA, like that. That’s how she got into this mess in the first place.

“Yeah, see this is why you should just type your notes like the rest of us, darlin’,” he responds, wagging his pointer finger at her.

“I-,” she starts, before stopping to take a deep breath to calm herself.

God, it’s just like Rio to try to push her buttons like this. It’s almost like he enjoys it.

“Studies show that you learn more when you physically write down the information, Rio,” she replies, voice sickly sweet.

He hums out a noise, chest rumbling and, shit, her eyes glance down again.

Pull it together, Marks!

“Aight so you need your notes. Why can’t you just ask your boyfriend for the spare key to your room? Ain’t he working in the office right now?” he asks.

Her eyes glance down to the stained carpet, avoiding looking at him. Because, yes, Dean is the one scheduled to be in the RA office right now. She knows his work schedule like the back of her hand. But-

“We actually broke up,” she breathes out, feigning being casual.

But it’s not casual. Not at all. Because Dean had-

Well, he’d cheated on her with Amber from back home, who is still a senior in high school. Which—ew. And she can barely handle looking at him, but she has to anyway because they’re both RA’s for the same dorm complex and he has seniority over her since he’s a senior and she just can’t ask him for a favor right now. Can’t fathom using the word please to the guy that has made her feel so worthless.

But she doesn’t say all that to Rio because as much as they’re friends, as much as they enjoy talking shit and studying together in the lounge, as much as they’ve bonded over their Detroit upbringings and other more serious stuff—like them both losing a parent young and the responsibilities they have back home—she doesn’t want him to know the details of this.

Because, even though she knows it’s not her fault, she still feels this aching feeling of shame every time she thinks about it. And she’s terrified that the knowledge may change the way Rio looks at her. Like he may look at her and see what she sees right now. A girl that wasn’t enough.

“Oh yeah? What’d that asshole do now?” he asks, voice dripping with disdain.

He’s always hated Dean. She could always see a spark of something in Rio’s eyes whenever Dean fucked up.

She clears her throat, eyes looking everywhere but him.

“It’s nothing, okay? We’re done and I don’t really want to ask him for anything right now,” she says with a shrug.

“Elizabeth,” Rio says, voice now serious.

She’s not sure why she came to him. She has other RA friends she could’ve asked that would’ve made this less difficult. She would’ve explained that she and Dean broke up and they would’ve given her a look of pity and an I’m so sorry and moved on.

It’s just that as much as he gives her shit, he really is always there for her. He’s the one that got one of his sketchy friends to scare off that guy that wouldn’t stop harassing her and texting her. He’s the one that stayed up helping her work through her calculus practice exam during midterms while Dean went to Logan’s party. He’s the one that held her when she broke down in tears from stress over classes and work and Annie struggling in high school.

“Please just help me with this okay? I need to get my notes or else I’m gonna fail and then the next thing you know I’ll be dropping out and moving home and then who are you gonna pick on all the time? You’re gonna have to start teasing Jeremy or something,” she rushes out.

He sighs out a reluctant laugh and nods.

“Nah can’t be having that. That kid’s weird as fuck,” he jokes.

She smiles at him softly and he rolls his eyes.

“Okay so what do you need me to do?” he asks.

“All I need is for you to sneak into the drawer on the bottom right that holds the keys while I distract him,” she explains.

“Yeah and how you gonna do that?” he questions, eyebrows raised.

She looks down and reaches into her tank top to readjust her boobs for optimal cleavage before straightening her posture and beaming at him with a smug smile.

His grin is crooked and his eyes are glazing over as he eyes the trap she just set. When his perusal lasts longer than usual and he bites at his lip, eyes still on her chest, she smacks at his arm.

“Hey!” she exclaims, but she’s smiling.

He throws his head back in laughter.

“Yeah, that fool ain’t gonna know what hit him,” Rio replies, shaking his head.

She giggles.

“Aight lemme just put a hoodie on,” Rio says, slipping into his room.

She follows and smiles when she sees his normally perfectly made bed rumpled from his sleep.

He’s throwing on some shoes and grabbing his keys, looking like he’s just about ready to leave when she stops him, grabbing his wrist.

“Wait,” she starts.

“What?” he asks.

“Your..situation,” she mutters out, eyes glancing down to his groin. “Aren’t you gonna...take care of it?”

She can’t bring herself to be more specific. She thinks she may simply combust if he makes her spell it out.

He licks at his lips and looks down at his erection, still holding strong.

“Why? You don’t want Deansie to think we were in the middle of something?”

She laughs nervously.

“No,” she insists.

“Okay then you wanna help me take care of it?” he teases.

And he’s joking, but she can’t help the warmth she feels in her gut at even the thought of touching Rio like that.

“No thanks,” she squeaks out.

“Mm so polite,” he rasps, eyes dark.  

He hesitates before asking almost tentatively, “Maybe next time?”

His eyes dart to her lips briefly before returning to her gaze.

And, god, what’s wrong with her? She just broke up with Dean and her and Rio are friends. Good ones. And she doesn’t want to risk losing someone else.

But she can’t help herself from biting at her lip and saying, “Yeah. Maybe next time.”

His mouth parts slightly and he’s breathing heavier and she is too.

Something about the way they’re looking at each other is changing by the second, their vision clearing without a Dean-sized obstacle blocking the way. Revealing to her a possibility she hadn’t even fully considered.

She glances down to his lips and suddenly she’s thinking about how he could take care of her, so she clears her throat and takes a couple of steps away from him before she does something stupid like kiss him.

“How ‘bout we watch something for a minute? While it, uh, takes care of itself?” he suggests, gently mocking her prudeness.

As she climbs into his just slept-in sheets, she realizes that despite having watched hundreds of hours of tv together, they’ve never done it in his bed. They usually do it in the lounge, but they may have to switch this to their usual spot. It smells far better.

And if as they settle in for an episode of New Girl they’ve seen a dozen times, she shifts closer until she’s pressed into his side, and if he tentatively wraps his arm around her shoulder like they’re two fifteen-year-olds on their first date, and if she wordlessly hits play on the next episode so he doesn’t stop playing with her hair, then so be it.

The notes can wait. It’s still early. They have time. She’s good where they are right now—an “enough” with someone who looks at her like she’s more than.

[stitch1830]

Reassurance

Happy Kantoph Mondangst! These titles may be getting worse, but hopefully the chapters aren't... time will tell ope. Despite the angst, I hope you enjoy :)

......

“Are you up?”

His form shifted in the bed as he lazily turned to face her. She could hear the tiredness in his breath that indicated that no, he wasn’t up, but even if she didn’t perceive that, she would’ve known he was lying when he replied, “Yeah, what’s up?”

A gentle hand rubbed her arm in an attempt to comfort her, and the combination of his casual fib and sleepy gesture of comfort made Toph smile just a bit. But even then, she couldn’t ignore the unsettling feeling that sat in the pit of her stomach and made her toss and turn for the past few nights.

When she didn’t answer right away, he called out again, his tired state wearing off. “Toph? Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” she quickly reassured, but then bit her lip. Technically, things were okay, but she still felt uneasy. “Well, maybe? I don’t know…”

Kanto’s hand instinctively went to her stomach, coincidentally landing precisely where the baby was kicking. His thumb swiped across her belly, calming down the baby’s activity temporarily, and Toph let out a sigh that was a combination of exhaustion and relief and apprehension. Her hand fell on top of his, and she found the words to describe her thoughts. Well, some of them.

“I’m… I’m just worried, I guess,” she confessed.

“About the baby?”

“Yeah. Well, not the baby specifically. I’m worried about me.”

“Are you worried about the pain—”

“No, no. I mean, I’m not looking forward to it, but... fucking spirits,” Toph muttered. She wasn’t exactly describing her fears in the most coherent fashion, and she was losing the courage to admit what was on her mind.

“Toph,” he whispered, and his voice gave her focus. “You can tell me whatever you want, but only if you want to, okay?”

Toph took a deep breath as she calmed her nerves and felt the rhythmic motion of his thumb across her stomach. He grounded her like the earth, his touch and voice never failed to bring her back to reality. And everyday she thanked the spirits or whoever she needed to thank that fate brought them together.

Courage and actual words found her once again, and she pressed her forehead to his and confessed her fear. “I’m still worried about being a mom.”

Kanto said nothing, but waited for Toph to continue, so she did. “I know we’ve talked about this, but the baby is due any day now, and I just… I still feel like I’m not ready for this. I have no motherly bone in my body, I’ve never even thought about becoming a mother.

“And then the fact that my upbringing was pretty shit? Not the best references. All I know are piss poor parenting techniques.

“And if our kid hates us because of me, I… I don’t know what I’ll do.”

His hand moved to wipe away her tears (when did she start crying?), then settled back to her belly, their fingers intertwined this time. He said nothing for a while, and part of Toph cynically thought that perhaps he felt the same way. She prompted him to speak. “Is this your way of saying you agree?” she asked in an attempt to lighten her own mood.

“I wish…” Kanto paused; it was his turn to find the right words. “I wish you could see that you already are an amazing mother.”

Toph blinked, confused. He continued, “Everything you do is for our baby, and even your fears are all because you are worried about their wellbeing and happiness. That tells me everything about the kind of mother you will be. Selfless, thoughtful, loving…

“You could do motherhood in your sleep and by yourself, Toph. That’s how great you’ll be. But you don’t have to do it alone. You’ve got me, and we’ve got your friends.

“I know we won’t be perfect parents, but we have each other to lean on, and if you’re ever worried about anything, I’ll be there.

“And like I’ve told you before, my fatherly intuition says that we’re having a girl that will be just like you, and I couldn’t be more excited about that. I know all your tricks, Chief.”

His teasing remark got a scoff out of Toph, and she removed her hand from his to give him a light shove on the chest. Kanto’s hand captured hers again immediately after, and they laughed as he kissed it.

But everything else that he said, it felt reassuring. Not just in the moment, but as Toph thought through their future as parents, Kanto’s words gave her hope. He was right. Technically, they could be okay parents alone, but together, they would be amazing. And they’d lean on each other not because one would be a better parent than the other and needed help, but they wanted it.

That made all the difference.

Before she could even thank him for talking with her in the middle of the night, he smothered her with kisses all over her face until she was in a fit of laughter. And when she caught her breath, his warm hands found her round belly and so did his lips. He kissed her stomach lightly and spoke to their baby in a mock whispered tone. “Hey baby badgermole, I’ve got a secret for ya.

“Your Mama and I can’t wait to meet you, but there’s something you should know about Mama…

“She’s the Greatest Earthbender in the World, but she’s also the Greatest Mama in the World. She’s always gonna love you and protect you, just like I will.

“I thought you should know how amazing your Mama is before you meet her. And I don’t have a doubt in my mind that you’re gonna be just like her.”

He gave another loving kiss to the baby and hummed a goodnight to them before he made his way back to Toph. Once he settled back in bed, Toph inched her way as close to him as she could, burying her head in his chest and finding comfort in his warm embrace. His chest hummed in content as sleep found them again.

She remembered hearing him whisper right before she soundly slept, filling her with the reassurance that everything would be okay.

“You’re gonna be an amazing mom, Toph. I just know it.”

~~~

“I’m a terrible mother, Zuko.”

The Fire Lord shifted in his seat, startled by the bold statement and waited for an explanation. As he silently stared at her, he took in the beautiful surroundings before their focus turned to the morose topic that lingered over them.

It was a beautiful day in the Fire Nation, one of the first warm days of the season. The Beifongs traveled to the Fire Nation for a bit of a reprieve from Republic City. With the change in season, Zuko and Toph took advantage of the weather by sitting in one of the palace gardens with the children. Zuko watched as Lin clumsily ran around in the grass after Izumi while Kya coaxed the turtleducks to the edge of the pond.

They didn’t have a care in the world, not yet, at least, and Zuko naively hoped they never would.

Toph exhaled deeply, disrupting his observations. “I’m letting her down, I know it.”

Zuko furrowed his eyebrows. “What makes you say that, Toph?”

“I just—” she hesitated. Time made her more closed off, and it always took her a moment longer to admit more feelings.

But Zuko was patient, and he knew if he waited long enough, she’d open up.

Toph took another labored breath. “She’s looking for him. Everywhere we go. She wants him, not me. Which, I get, because I’d want him instead of me, too. If that wasn’t hard enough, everything she does reminds me of him.

“And I can’t stand it. I can barely hold her or take care of her because every other word she says is ‘Dada’ and I nearly break down when he’s mentioned. What kind of mother can’t even take care of her kid without wishing her dead boyfriend was around instead? What does that say about me?!”

He glanced over at Lin, who was crouching down to the ground with her cousins and gently patting the shell of a baby turtleduck. She seemed happy, content. Even if her mother was struggling.

“You’ve just had to deal with a lot right now, no one expects you to be perfect, Toph,” he reassured her. “Lin’s okay, she’ll be okay.”

“She won’t be okay if her mom keeps sulking around like this. Sure, maybe it’s fine now while she’s a baby, but she’s gonna grow up, and she’s gonna think I hate her.”

“No she won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

Zuko said nothing, and Toph cynically chuckled. “He said she’d be just like me, but I can only see his traits in her. She’s got his heart, the noises she makes when she sleeps are his, and her hands are his. And I just know she’s gonna have his laugh, and it’s gonna break me.”

“Toph—”

“He said I could do this in my sleep,” she interrupted as she rubbed her eyes. “That I would be a great mom on my own if I had to, but he was wrong.

“He should be here, he’d be better at this than me.”

“Toph,” Zuko began again, “he’s only been gone a year. We’re here to help so you both can heal. Please don’t think you’re alone in this with him gone. You’ve talked with Aang, but have you talked with Katara at all about how you feel? I can interrupt her meeting if—”

“No, your lives shouldn’t change because mine did,” she interrupted.

“Our lives don’t have to change dramatically, but you also shouldn’t think that this is all your weight to carry.”

“But it is,” she insisted, her voice raising with every word she said. “Lin is my kid, I lost my partner, I have to raise her alone, even if I can’t.”

A heavy silence fell between the two friends. All they could hear were the sounds of children giggling and turtleducks quacking.

It pained Zuko to see Toph like this. She was trying to be so strong for Lin, and she was strong. Her ability to persevere was unlike any he had seen. Toph went to work, searched for Kanto’s killer, stayed in touch with her friends and kept them up to date on her feelings, and raised Lin. And she was raising Lin well, amazing even, considering all that they had been through.

He just wished she would see that as well.

But that was a tough sell to convince Toph that she was doing amazing in spite of everything. No matter how many ways he spun it, Zuko’s words didn’t reassure Toph; it seemed that no one’s words of encouragement comforted Toph anymore.

Lin approached Toph, and their conversation ended as abruptly as it began. Zuko watched as Toph picked up Lin without hesitation, a hint of a smile grew as the toddler rambled on about her day with the turtleducks. In between the story, Toph’s head leaned in toward Zuko, and she quietly suggested, “Think it’s time for a snack.”

So they left to grab an afternoon snack, and Zuko’s eyes never strayed from Toph and Lin, not even when Kya and Izumi asked to run ahead. He just couldn’t shake his vision away from them as he saw the adoration Lin had for Toph, and the love and anguish in Toph’s eyes as she listened to her daughter chat. Zuko could visibly see Toph’s strength and perseverance as she walked into the palace, and yet, she remained unconvinced of her capabilities. The Fire Lord sighed, wishing he knew how to help Toph, what to say. But not many could reassure Toph. Well, Kanto did. He knew all the right things to say to calm her, to give her strength.

Who could she lean on for that now that he was gone?

Zuko didn’t know the answer.