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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 years ago

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Wonderful World - Part 11 ^**

Hello friends, this is a big and transitional chapter! There's a lot going on and I think it's the one that gonna start winding down this story. It's kinda long, so buckle up! I hope you guys like it!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Warnings: many angsty themes, heated arguing, mentions of OCD, psychotic symptoms, suicide, mental health crisis, HJ

WC: 14.5K

It was the day of the board meeting and Celeste had been quiet and contemplative all day. Megan had tried to talk to her, presumably to say thank you or to just communicate something she wanted, but she was avoiding her like the plague. She had no idea what she was going to say in her testimonial that evening. She had even asked her mom if she could skip school but she said no, which really pissed her off, but whatever. The day was inching by as she hid out during lunch to try and write down her thoughts like Dr. Styles had suggested a few times, but all she ended up doing was doodling little flowers, butterflies, and a few variations for her potential signature all over the page. This was hopeless.

She was also really in her head about the awful things she’d heard her grandmother say about her and her mom. She felt sadness more than anger, how could someone be that awful to their own family. She knew that her mom wasn’t close to her parents but her mom had never really talked about why. She had never seen or heard an argument between them and as much as she wished her mom had her own mom to support her, she was happy that she’d rather not associate than to make excuses for her awful behavior and mindset. She had been a bit distant from her uncle the last few days because she just didn’t know how to feel about him bringing her to therapy. She understood that he had been worried and he had been so apologetic, but that was her safe space. And well, Dr. Styles told her that it was OK to be upset at him, to feel betrayed by him, so she sat with the feelings for the last couple of days and it made her wonder if he’d still show up to the meeting. She’d understand if he felt like he should no longer be there, but as long as her mom and Dr. Styles were there she’d be fine. She put her things away and got ready to go to class and as she was sneaking out of the practice room she’d been in she saw Megan waiting outside across the hall.

“Hi.” She said nervously and Celeste nodded at her. “I ummm, I just wanted to thank you f-for defending me.” She said and immediately she started to cry and Celeste pouted, “I know I don’t deserve it because to you I am the meanest person in the world.” She sniffled, “but Miss Jones encouraged me to…come out to my friends and then-”

“That’s how they reacted?” Celeste asked softly with a frown and Megan nodded with tears in her eyes.

“I mean, I get it…my parents aren’t happy about it either…” she sniffled, “But it’s Karma I guess.” She said and Celeste shook her head.

“No it’s not, they’re just…assholes.” She said softly and Megan glanced up to her eyes and then Celeste’s eyes went wide, “I’m so sorry for calling your parents and friends assholes.” She whispered nervously and then Megan started to giggle.

“No it’s OK! I’ve been thinking the same thing but I just felt bad actually saying it.” She confessed and Celeste’s nerves faded into a small smile.

“Hey ummm, if you don’t get expelled,” she said and Megan chuckled and so did Celeste for a few seconds, “Ummm, do you want to come to the spring dance with me, Geri, and Ozzy?” She asked and Megan’s smile faded into a look of surprise.

“Are you serious?” She whispered. She had been really bummed about this because well, her “friends” had told all of their group about her and her date had flaked on her.

“Yeah, I…think so. I mean, I’ll have to ask Geri considering…you know.” She faded off into silence and Megan nodded.

“Yeah, I get it. But if she says yes and I still go to school here on Friday then I’d be happy to go.” She said with a soft smile that Celeste mirrored.

“I’m not mad at you anymore.” Celeste said and Megan exhaled.

“Because you feel bad for me.” She said with a sad smile and Celeste shrugged.

“So? It’s progress!” She said optimistically and Megan smiled.

“Yeah…progress.” She hummed.

***********

Diana had set up a video lecture for her class that afternoon and she had thought about texting Harry to see what his plans were but she decided against it. Yes, they were on great terms, but they weren’t in a place for her to be checking up on him like that. Celeste had been really quiet all afternoon, just up in her room. She had asked if she wanted to talk but she declined so she gave her some space.

It was around 6:15pm when Damian showed up at the house to pick her and Celeste up for the meeting. He had taken their mom’s hotel room to give Diana and Celeste some space after that nuclear fight with their mom on Monday and they hadn’t really spoken, so things were still a little bit tense.

“Hey.” She said as she let him inside and he offered her a slight smile as he followed her into the kitchen, “Do you want a drink or something?” She asked as she went back to clearing out the dishwasher.

“No, I’m alright, but can I talk to you about something?” He asked and she nodded and gave him her full attention. “I’m sorry about mom.” He said again and she nodded.

“I know you are, Damian but what I continue to find hard to understand is how you can continue to make excuses for her when she treats us that way! Like I know she’s our mom, and I don’t wish her harm or anything like that but she’s so in the wrong! About tons of things, especially suggesting all those racist things about Celeste, her own granddaughter!” Diana said with frustration but kept her voice down, she didn’t want to stress Celeste even more with another argument.

“I know and I’ve been silent about it for too long but not anymore. I gave her a piece of my mind about her views and her beliefs and I told her that I didn’t want her in my life if she was going to continue treating you both that way. I told her it was wrong and that she needed to reevaluate herself…obviously she…acted unfazed about what I said but I just don’t want to be a coward anymore.” He said to her genuinely, “I’m sorry for never speaking up before and for not defending you. I just…as soon as Harry stepped in I knew that I needed to do better.” He admitted and Diana’s eyes were welling up.

“I know that it’s hard to do that, so thank you. You’ve always been there for me, you’ve always looked out for me, and taken care of me. I’m so grateful for you and I’m sorry that my relationship with mom has…basically extinguished yours, like you shouldn’t have to choose-”

“Of course I had to choose. It should have never even been a question after everything that’s happened between you two.” He said and she rolled her lips together, “I promise to do better where it counts, Di.” He said and she rounded the island and hugged him tight and he hugged back, “Te quiero mucho, guerita.” He said softly and she smiled. He hadn’t called her that nickname in many, many years.

“Yo también, feo.” She hummed back with a grin and he scoffed.

“Really? When I’m being all sweet and sentimental?” He asked as she giggled, “Quítate!” He scoffed playfully as he pried her arms off of him as she laughed, “I’m gonna go apologize to someone who will actually appreciate it.” He said as he headed out of the kitchen.

“If you’re referring to Celeste I think she’ll be far harder to crack!” She warned and he peered back into the kitchen with narrowed eyes.

“We’ll see about that.” He challenged before he headed to the stairs.

“Well don’t be too long we need to go soon!” She called and sighed when she got no response. But as she stood there by herself, kind of feeling bad for their parents, she was happy that her brother had stuck up for her like that. It truly meant the world.

*********

After her uncle had come up and apologized to her for everything that had happened on Monday, Celeste was feeling a lot better. She was happy that despite her being a bit distant he had shown up to make sure that she was alright and to just be there for her during this really nerve-racking thing she was about to do. When they arrived at the school she looked for Dr. Styles but she didn’t see him anywhere yet so when they took their seats Diana ensured to save him a spot. As the minutes to start diminished and the meeting hall got a bit more full she started to glance around again.

“He’ll be here, don’t worry.” Her mom said to her quietly and she exhaled and nodded.

“Yeah, there’s probably traffic. And if he comes a little late he might just sit in the back.” Her uncle chimed in and well, that made sense. They were the 3rd and final item on the agenda, so it would be OK, if he was a little bit late. She stopped being so concerned about him and more about her nerves about reliving the awful things that happened to her and speaking about them in front of all of these people she didn’t know.

She was clutching her mom’s hand as they finally started to talk about her situation. They said that due to the nature of some of the evidence in this item they would not be showing the evidence, but that all board members had been briefed previously, she was grateful for that and surely Megan was too. Then, Principal Whittaker went up and spoke about the rules that Megan had broken that led to her recommending expulsion. She talked about her and about Megan as students as well. Then the school counselor, Miss. Jones talked about how she’d been working with Megan, and then Megan also went up and made a statement where she apologized again for what she had done but she never mentioned that she had been bullied too. She was crying the whole time and it made her even more nervous for her turn to go up there.

“Thank you miss Freeman, we are glad to hear that you are addressing the issues that led to your behaviors and that you have been following the recommendations and carried out all disciplinary measures consistently.” She said and Megan nodded from her seat and then glanced at Celeste who was already looking at her, “The last part of this item will be a testimonial from Miss Celeste Beltran, if you’d be so kind to come up to the podium.” The director said and she stood and glanced to her mom before swallowing thickly and walking up to the podium. It was positioned in a way in which she could see the board members but also those in the audience. The woman started to speak but she was distracted as she scanned around the audience to find Dr. Styles she couldn’t see him anywhere and her mouth started to go dry and her heart to sink in so much disappointment. “Miss Beltran?” The woman spoke to her once again and she blinked a few times to get rid of the tears welling up in her eyes because he wasn’t here. He promised.

**********

“Miss Beltran, we’ve heard from Miss Freeman about the steps she has taken to reconcile this situation with you. Would you say that she has sincerely done her best to make amends for victimizing you over the past several months?” She asked her and Celeste didn’t answer.

Diana frowned as she saw Celeste glancing around the room with a frown on her face and that was enough to confirm to her that Harry had not shown up. She had texted him a few times throughout the meeting but she hadn’t received any responses from him. She sent one more, asking where he was. She started to worry that something bad had happened to him because he wouldn’t have not shown up without a warning or notice. He wanted to be here for Celeste.

“Miss Beltran?” The director called to Celeste and Diana frowned as she saw that she wanted to cry. So she cleared her throat and it caused Celeste to look at her and at Damian. She gave her a slight nod and with that she exhaled shakily before she parted her lips to speak.

“Ummm what was the question?” She asked again softly.

“Would you say that Miss Freeman has sincerely done her best to make amends for victimizing you over the past several months?”

“Oh, ummm yes.” She said.

“Do you feel like your school has adequately administered consequences to help rectify the situation between you and Miss Freeman?”

“Yes.” She responded.

“Are there any other things you’d like the school board to consider before we decide on a verdict for Miss Freeman’s expulsion?”

“Ummm…Megan’s been going through a lot.” She started off and then glanced to her, “Like Miss Jones advised, she wrote me a private letter explaining herself and at first I was…even more upset. But she’s dealing with something quite big that has…led for her to also be bullied at school.” She explained solemnly, “I didn’t expect to step in an defend her, but I did. Not out of pity, but because we all deserve to feel safe. And at first I was scared of her and of running into her but I’m not anymore. Now that I understand her better I’ve…” she paused and bit her lip as she decided to just say what she’d been mulling over all day, “I’ve forgiven her.” She said and Megan started to cry even harder and Celeste sniffled as well.

Diana’s eyes welled up with tears and she squeezed Damian’s hand at Celeste’s confession. “If she’s allowed to stay I know we won’t be having any more issues like this and…I mean, it’d kind of suck if you expelled her because she’s supposed to go to the dance with my friends and I on Friday.” She said and the audience broke out in a small chuckle. Diana sniffled through her laughter and shook her head as she glanced to Celeste who had glanced to her briefly. “I do think she deserves another chance.” She finished and the director thanked her before she stepped down and headed back to her seat. As soon as she was sitting Diana hugged her into her side and kissed the top of her head.

“I’m really proud of you, mamita.” She whispered and Celeste just leaned further into her hold. After that they said that they would take 15 minutes to deliberate in private and called a recess to the meeting. Diana excused herself to go to the bathroom, she took a little detour outside on the way over. She needed to call Harry, she had this awful sinking feeling in her stomach that something was wrong and that just made her think about Wesley and she was starting to spiral. Her vision was blurring with tears as she pulled out her phone to dial Harry. When she felt a hand on her shoulder she whipped around quickly as the unexpected touch gave her a fright and she was riddled with disappointment and even more concern when she saw Megan’s mom behind her.

“I’m so sorry I scared you.” Mrs. Freeman said and Diana chuckled away the scare.

“Oh, it’s alright.” She assured with a hand on her chest.

“I just wanted to…say thank you for being such a good parent.” She said softly and Diana shook her head as she looked at her feet for a moment.

“I can’t take credit for anything Celeste said up there, that was all her and her therapist’s hard work.” She assured.

“Sure. But she had to learn to have a great character from somewhere and well, even if you might think you’ve got nothing to do with it you’ve actually got everything to do with it. Even if Megan gets expelled I ummm, I think she’ll be alright with that declaration.” She said and Diana smiled.

“She’s a good kid, Megan. And I mean…I don’t want to speak out of turn but…she deserves to be happy, no matter what that looks like for her.” She said softly and Mrs. Freeman nodded.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about that too…my husband, he’s an elder at Crossroads Baptist church.” She said quietly, “I sometimes get really extreme with what I think because I feel like I have to. And I’m not going to lie, I’ve judged many people for the way they choose to live their lives and it’s unfortunate that it took my daughter being in that position for me to understand just how wrong and…un-christ like that is.” She said and Diana hummed in understanding as she listened. She wouldn’t necessarily agree that people chose their sexuality for themselves, but if this woman was coming around to any reason that was progress on its own. “I’m doing better though. I’m…praying a lot and branching out a lot more because I don’t want to lose my daughter. I even found a church close by that’s not as rigid as the one we’ve been going to all this time.”

“That’s wonderful, I’m glad you’ve found that. And well, I mean, I know that it’s hard to reconcile certain things at times but there is always a way. And you know, sticking to your beliefs is also important and it’s good to be able to find a space in which you can question and learn and grow without judgement. Hopefully Megan feels accepted there too, but the biggest thing is for her to feel accepted by you.”

“Yeah.” She agreed quietly with a smile, “Well, I just wanted to say that to you before I missed my chance and ummm whatever happens, I’m sure it’ll be for the best.” She said and Diana nodded.

“Agreed.” She hummed. Mrs. Freeman was just about to excuse herself when Damian came outside.

“They’re about to start up again!” He said.

“That was quick.” Diana said as she and Mrs. Freeman agreed as they both hurried over to the door and went their separate ways as they headed to their seats.

“Is he here?” Celeste asked her softly and Diana frowned as she shook her head.

“No, I didn’t see him, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” She whispered as she tried to remain calm and Celeste just huffed.

“He’s a liar.” She said with disdain and Diana frowned.

“Mamita, he really wanted to be here, you know that. I’m sure there’s a really good explanation for why he’s not here. I mean…god forbid something happened to him or-”

“After some deliberation and consideration of the testimony given by our four witnesses these are the votes of the members of the school board.” The director’s voice overtook hers so she just quieted down, “In favor of expulsion - 4 votes. Not in favor - 6 votes.” She said and Diana glanced over to Mrs. Freeman who was smiling at her already and hugging Megan close, “Because the majority has voted against, Megan Freeman will remain a student at Los Angeles Center for Enriched Studies, she will be on a probationary period during the fall Semester of the new school year. We expect her to continue working with Miss Jones regularly and we will work with the principal, student, and her family to finalize the details of this probationary period. We have gone through all of our agenda items for today’s meeting so that concludes this session. Our next meeting is scheduled for July 5th. We will only be considering and addressing agenda items pertinent to the new school year. Have a good night everyone.” The woman finished and everyone started getting up to leave.

When Megan came up to hug Celeste afterwards she knew that despite the smile on her face she was extremely angry because Harry didn’t show up. She knew that there was a good reason for it, he wouldn’t let Celeste down like that, but the fact that he wasn’t answering her texts was worrying her more than she cared to admit. She felt sick to her stomach and passed on a late night snack when they stopped at a fast-food restaurant on the way home. She hoped he was OK and she did the most she could to talk herself down from thinking of the worst case scenario, but based on her experience it was always the worst case scenario.

**********

Harry had welcomed in his last scheduled patient of the day at 4:30pm like he usually did on Wednesdays. But since he had no class tonight he had taken his time with doing all of his report notes so that he could kill some time before the school board meeting at 7, but all that changed when one of his patients just dropped by at 6pm in a full blown crisis. This man had unfortunately been dealing with OCD for a large part of his life and he had just lost his job because his compulsions had gotten in the way of his productivity; he was a checker. And he also shared that his wife was threatening to divorce him and now this man wanted to kill himself.

Obviously, this was an emergency and he needed to help deescalate this man from his breaking point and suicidal ideations and intents immediately. The more digging Harry did, he discovered that the patient had not taken any of his meds that month because he had accidentally dropped them all on the ground when he was organizing them into his med container and so he had tossed them all; his germophobia had gotten the best of him. But this was a big issue because this should’ve been his second month on a combination of an SSRI and antipsychotic medication because one of the big overarching symptoms he had was paranoia. Harry needed to diminish those psychotic symptoms first in order to get them to a level where he could see if clinical intervention could help so that he could ween him off of the antipsychotics - he tried to steer away from prescribing antipsychotics for OCD as much as possible, but some people just needed them whether it be for a few months or for the rest of their lives, but long terms users of antipsychotics were often riddled with really unfortunately side effects later down the line and of course, he didn’t want that for any of his patients.

All of this just completely distracted him and so by the time he had finished talking with his patient, assessing suicidality, and making a safety plan for him it was a little bit after 8:30 and he immediately felt sick to his stomach; he had missed the board meeting. He rushed back into his office and checked his phone to see that Diana had texted him a few times.

“Shit!” He cursed as he opened up his phone to check her messages.

Diana Beltran:

6:50pm: Hey, I saved you a seat. We’re in the third row on the left side.

7:13pm: Are you sitting somewhere else?

7:43pm: I just need to know that you’re OK. Please let me know that you’re OK.

“Fuck.” He sighed in disappointment as he immediately dialed her number and it rang and rang until it reached her voicemail. He didn’t know if she was angry at him so he didn’t want to just show up at her place unannounced; he’d be livid if she’d left him hanging without so much as a warning. He tried her again a few more times before he just grabbed Misty and put her in her little travel kennel so that they could head home. She’d call him back when she was ready.

*********

“No goodnight?!” Damian called after Celeste as soon as she started heading up the stairs when they got home. She huffed and came back and hugged him half-heartedly.

“Thanks for being there for me. Love you, goodnight.” She said and then rushed up the stairs and Diana sighed as she slipped off her shoes by the door. She’d try Harry after Damian left, she hadn’t heard her phone go off.

“She’s just really bummed about Harry not showing up.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that. Did he say anything to you?” He asked as he followed Diana into the kitchen and she nibbled on her lip nervously as she shook her head and flicked on the lights.

“I texted him a bunch of times and he never answered.” She said as she set her purse down on the island. She swallowed the lump in her throat and glanced over to Damian, “What if something happened to him?” She asked in a small and nervous voice and his features softened as he came over to her and pulled her into his arms.

“No, no, no. I’m sure he’s fine.” Damian said as she started to cry softly and he shushed her and held her close.

Damian knew that this uncertainty was probably bringing back a lot of really awful memories for her. One of his biggest life regrets was leaving for school early that summer. Wesley’s passing had been traumatic for Diana all on it’s own, but the aftermath was even worse. Their parents forced her to go to Columbia just weeks later and she was in an awful place mentally. She was also all alone in New York, he tried to visit as often as he could, but he was also in school almost 7 hours away. And when she found out she was pregnant it made things worse for a time because of the stress of having to tell their parents; it was a secret between them until they went home for Christmas break, then all hell broke loose. For a long time he was the only person that she had in her corner. Their dad wasn’t angry at her like their mom, but he just stayed out of it, which was almost worse in a way.

“He better fucking be.” She sniffled and Damian pondered whether he should even ask his next question but he did it anyway.

“Di, do you…have feelings for Harry?” Damian asked gently and she just sighed.

“I’m trying not to.” She sniffled as she pulled back from their hug and he let her go to be able to look at her better.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked with a confused chortle.

“It means that…I can’t, like I just can’t.” She said softly, “Celeste would never forgive me. She’s already gonna be angry at Harry for who knows how long for not showing up tonight. It’s just…weird you know? Me dating her therapist.”

“Does he feel the same?”

“Yeah.” She confirmed and Damian frowned.

“Oh…”

“Yeah.” She sighed in defeat, “We’ve…snuck a few kisses,” she confessed and Damian smiled, “But ummm…I’m scared.” She admitted, “I’m scared that it’s all going to get taken away too soon because he’s like…really fucking great and we get along so well! And I don’t want to bring him into my life like that or Celeste’s and lose him. I don’t want her to know what that feels like. I know that the odds are like…insane for the same thing to happen but they still exist. And I keep using Celeste being his client as an excuse for why we can’t try, but it’s me who just…can’t.” She confessed, “I’m the biggest obstacle.”

“Well let me tell you something, since the moment you found out that you were pregnant, despite the surprise and fear and everything else, you’ve lived your life to make Celeste happy. Everything you’ve done has been to benefit her. And that’s so admirable of you, but you’ve forgotten yourself along the way. I know that you’re happy with your life, but you need more and she needs more too, and I also think you want more and I know that’s hard for someone like you to accept, but it’s OK to want more.” Damian said to her earnestly, “I really like Dr. Styles-er, Harry, whatever…” he said as she giggled softly, “I like how he didn’t even hesitate to stand up for you and Celeste against mom, he’s a protector.” He said with a smile, “Maybe before I go we can all do something together again. I mean we as in the adults.” He tagged in.

“I mean…they’re really big on escape rooms.” Diana said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Hmmm, never done that before…sounds like torture.” Damian said and Diana laughed softly.

“I mean, it is if you’re not smart or have no problem solving and critical thinking skills….so yeah, maybe we should do something else- ah!” Diana shrieked as Damian playfully head-locked her for a few seconds and gave her a noogie before releasing her as he laughed at how she rubbed at the crown of her head, “Jeez.” She huffed through her own laughter and he smirked.

“What are big brothers for? Now, I’m staying at the hotel again because I want to get my money’s worth out of mom’s room, but I’ll pick Celeste up from school tomorrow if you want?”

“Yeah, that would be great. I moved my office hours to tomorrow so I’m gonna be late. Probably make it back around 7:30 or 8.” She explained.

“Perfect.” He hummed and they hugged once more before she headed up to her room. When she pulled her phone out of her purse she saw that Harry had tried to call and so she locked her bedroom door and then rushed into her bathroom and closed that door as well before calling him back. The line only rang twice before it stopped.

“Harry?” She spoke immediately.

“Hey, Di! I’m so, so sorry that-”

“I’m glad you’re alright.” She interrupted with a relieved sigh, “Fuck, I’m so happy you’re OK.” She said more quietly and he bit his lip as he heard her sniffle, “When you weren’t answering I thought maybe something had happened to you or-”

“Oh my god, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.” He apologized as he paced around his bedroom, “I didn’t mean to worry you or scare you. Fuck, I didn’t even think about that.” He said with a frown, mentally beating himself up for making her so worried like that, “How upset is Celeste?” He asked lowly.

“Pretty mad, she was looking for you right before she started and it tripped her up a bit but she…ended up publicly forgiving Megan which I wasn’t expecting.” She shared and Harry smiled as he heard this.

“Wow…we were talking about that on Monday…and then everything else went down.” He said and she hummed, “I’m so proud of her.” He sighed happily and Diana smiled, “God, I wish I could’ve been there.” He said softly. And then he realized that she hadn’t even asked where he was or what happened, “You’re not gonna ask where I was?” He asked and she huffed out a little laugh.

“Ummm, if you want to tell me you can.” She said and he chuckled, “But I didn’t feel the need to ask because I know you wanted to be there. I mean, you promised, and I figured it must’ve been something really important for you to not show up. And I don’t know if that’s my business, which is why I didn’t ask you, but I…I do know that if you could’ve been there you would have been.” She explained her reasoning for not even asking him what happened and Harry felt a sense of satisfaction with her response, she trusted him, implicitly. It gave him butterflies in his stomach to know that, “I’m just…relieved that you’re alright.” She said softly.

“Yeah, love. M’safe and sound.” He assured again and after a beat of silence he spoke up again, “Well I’m gonna tell you anyway to dissipate my guilt.” He said and she chuckled, “A client just walked in a bit before I was getting ready to go, he was in a full blown crisis, wanted to kill himself…it was kind of messy. Apparently he’d been off his meds the whole month and never said anything.” He explained and she hummed.

“See. Knew it must’ve been something big. Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he’s better thankfully. I also alerted his primary doctor, we made a safety plan, and I refilled his prescription. That took a bit of time since he wasn’t due for a refill until a week or two, so I had to chat with a pharmacist about it…it was an ordeal, but we sorted everything out.” He assured. “So ummm, what else ended up happening?”

“Well they didn’t expel Megan, she’s all good. Her ummm, her mom talked to me during the deliberation break and well she’s ummm, she’s coming around, trying to be more supportive of her.”

“That’s really good to hear.” He smiled.

“Yeah, Celeste apparently invited her to the dance with her and her friends this Friday since Megan’s friends are…assholes.”

“Oh, she’s making strides!”

“Yeah…I mean, I know she can be stubborn and resentful, but she’s got a huge, huge heart and she’s so empathic and I just think that this was really mature of her.”

“Yeah, honestly it is! I’m really, really proud of her. I’ll be sure to tell her with extra, extra sweetness on Monday.” He said and Diana sighed.

“If she even wants to see you on Monday.” Diana said and Harry chuckled.

“You really think she’d want to cancel?”

“It’s highly likely…I’m gonna ask you something and you can be honest about it, if I just..let her cancel is that like…reinforcing her to be a brat? Like I understand that she has a right to be upset, but things happen, emergencies happen, and you can’t always get what you want, you know? I think I’ve been really lenient over the last couple of months because of what she’s been going through but I also don’t want her to think that it’s OK to just not confront difficult situations. She’s capable of it, clearly, but ummm…I don’t know…” she trailed off.

“I don’t think so. If her feelings are hurt and she needs some space to just figure out what she wants to say or even if she wants to say anything I think that’s important for her to do. I mean, whether she ever brings it up or not I’ll still apologize for letting her down.” He said.

“Well thank you for that, I appreciate it. Maybe she can practice those new forgiveness skills with you too.” Diana said and Harry chuckled.

“Hopefully…”

“Ummm, Damian is leaving on Friday night, well it’s more of a redeye on Saturday, but we were planning on sending him off with a night of fun since Celeste will be at the dance. And he wanted to know if you’d like to join us?” Diana brought up and Harry grinned.

“Are you asking for your brother or is your brother asking you to ask for me to join for you?” Harry questioned and she giggled softly.

“Ummm….both? He really liked you and well, I really like you too. I told him we’ve kissed.”

“You seem to like telling people we kiss.” He mused with a smirk and Diana suddenly felt so nervous as he pointed this out.

“Oh…I guess I do, I hadn’t realized…”

“S’alright, I told Henry that we kissed right after that first time…I’m shocked he didn’t tell Grace.” Harry chuckled and Diana did as well, “I don’t mind that you tell people, by the way. I actually quite like that you…want to tell people and acknowledge it. S’never fun being a secret.”

“Yeah…and well, I just…think I want to see how people react and it’s never as bad as I assumed. And that also makes me feel less guilty about it.” She admitted.

“Good. You shouldn’t feel guilty about doing things that make you happy.” He said softly and she bit her lip to suppress her smile.

“Yeah. I’m learning that.” She confessed.

“So I do make you happy.” He stated inquisitively and she chuckled nervously as she shrugged.

“I…I mean…yes, you do.” She confirmed and Harry was smiling so hard he swore his cheeks would soon start to hurt.

“You make me happy too.” He assured and she smiled happily.

“That makes me more happy.” She said and he chuckled.

“So do you have any idea what our plans entail for Friday?”

“I suggested an escape room and he said that sounded like torture, so maybe we just do something else.” Diana said with a chuckle.

“I mean, you can never go wrong with a little bar hopping.”

“Let me just clarify that we do want him to make it to his flight, Harry.”

“We’re not gonna fuck him up, just get him a little more relaxed for the flight.” He said and she laughed quietly.

“Sure, sure.” She hummed in amusement, “Well look I’ll try to finalize everything by tomorrow, so just keep an eye out. It might be a late arrival since I had to change my office hours to tomorrow to be able to go to the meeting tonight, but it’ll get finalized tomorrow, OK?”

“Sounds good.” He assured.

“Alright. Well I’m gonna start getting ready for bed but thank you for getting back to me, I really appreciate it.” She sighed contently.

“Of course, love. See you soon. Sleep well.”

“Thank you, you too.” She smiled before they hung up.

*********

Just as Diana had thought, when she tried to bring up Harry over breakfast Celeste was still really hurt and upset that he hadn’t shown up for the meeting and she was not ready to talk to him on Monday. She was chalking it up to the fact that maybe that professional boundary had been crossed when he went to Disneyland with all of them and that she was sure now that he wasn’t going to go to her spring concert either. Diana tried to talk her down and remind her that this was still really fresh and that she might change her mind, but Celeste didn’t seem open to having a change of heart and asked her to cancel the appointment. Diana said she would, but she’d wait the weekend, she knew Harry wouldn’t mind if she notified him on Monday morning that Celeste needed more time. As they pulled up to the drop off zone at her school she reminded her that Damian was going to come get her and with that reminder she Wass saying goodbye and rushing off to the building.

Diana’s day had been quite busy. Her morning had been full of meetings with current and incoming students for advising and program planning , she’d grade a bit in between meetings before she’d move along to the next one. This is how her day flew by, it was around 7:30pm now and her eyes were burning from staring at her screen for half the day. The last week of school was already next week, so most people were feeling some sort of pressure and plenty of exhaustion. No one had come by after 6, so she’d been trying to finish as much grading as possible, she’d finish the paper she started and then call it a night.

Diana stood from her chair and stretched a bit, giving her neck and back relief from the position she’d been in nearly all day. She walked over to the big glass wall that offered a view of this little patio/picnic area that was behind their building, but she could hardly see it due to the bright lights of her office reflecting off of the glass. She huffed and went over to the switches and turned them off. She had a her desk lamp on and that lighting was still enough to illuminate her office without it being to harsh on the eyes. She went back to the window and peered out to see that the seating areas was desolate now, but the lighting on the fountain out there was so pretty and she made a mental note to take more walks out there next year. She exhaled as she walked over to roll down the blinds, the setting sun was right in her eye line. So she took the chain and tugged on it to get them down for the night. She started to rush when she heard a few taps on the open door behind her and quickly turned around.

“Hey.” Harry smiled timidly as he stood at the entrance of her office with a tote over his shoulder and a big brown paper bag in hand and she smiled brightly. He looked so cute with his light yellow pullover and his glasses on his face. She’d maybe seen him with them on once before, but she liked the look on him.

“Hi! This is a surprise.” She smiled wide.

“Yeah,” he chuckled nervously, “I hope m’not intruding. I remembered you said that you were working late tonight so I figured I’d stop by with some dinner. Hope you haven’t eaten?” He asked hopefully and her eyes softened.

“This is so thoughtful of you, Harry. And no, I haven’t had dinner.” She said with a smile and so he took that as his cue to step in. He set his tote down on a chair as she made some space on the coffee table for him to set the food down. “Ummm, I don’t expect anyone else to come by can you close the door please?” She asked as she set the books from the table on the other chair there.

“Yes.” He said and did that before starting to unpack the bag, “Alright, so I got drunken noodles and spicy eggplant.” He said.

“Ooh, that smells amazing…” she hummed, already feeling her mouth water from the scent alone. “Here’s some rice…” he said pulling out another container, “And…the mango and sticky rice.” He said pulling out another container. “Here are the plates and utensils…” he said setting those down, “Do you have napkins?”

“Yes!” She said turning around and opening one of her drawers and pulling out a thin stack of them before heading back to the coffee table and setting them down. Harry was arranging everything on the little coffee table and she grinned. “Oh wow, this looks incredible. Thank you, Harry.” She smiled with gratitude as he moved the bag aside as she sat on the rug and he followed suit.

“You’re welcome, love.” He hummed, “Just wanted to do something nice for you.” He explained as he started to open everything up, “You first.” He insisted and she sighed and went for it. They ate while making some small talk about how their days had gone and just caught up little bit before they both split dessert.

“Mango and sticky rice always hits the spot.” She hummed in delight and he smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Doesn’t it? It’s so light and simple.”

“I should learn how to make this…” she mused as she set down her fork.

“I would accept that as payment for Celeste’s therapy.” He joked.

“Say less!” She said and laughed along with with Harry, “Ummm…speaking of which…she asked me to cancel your appointment this morning.”

“Hmm…” Harry mused.

“Yeah, I haven’t because I mean…maybe she’ll get over it over the weekend or if something happens at the dance…so I’ll let you know Monday morning if that’s alright?”

“Yeah, of course.” He assured and she nodded.

“She was saying that maybe having you come to Disneyland probably made you realize you were getting too close to us so that’s why you bailed. And that you won’t be showing up to her concert for sure now…she’s quite dramatic, like all kids that age…but umm I wasn’t sure if I should be the one to tell her that you had an emergency with a client.”

“Yeah, I should explain it to her, don’t worry. And as for the concert, thank you for bringing that up I was planning on going anyway, but I definitely need to make up for missing the meeting. I’ll block that time off right now.” He said as she reached for his tote and pulled his phone out. Diana smiled as he started typing away on his phone, reminding him of the date and time when he asked, “Does she have a favorite flower or candy bar or animal?”

“Mmmm, she likes all flowers and you know, she’s never really asked me for candy bars…” Diana said pensively, “But she’s currently obsessed with llamas, though I’d really prefer if you didn’t get her one.” She joked and he chuckled.

“Got it. Buy a whole herd of llamas.” He spoke aloud as he typed on his phone and she rolled her eyes playfully as he grinned, “Isn’t her birthday coming up next week? On the 8th?” Harry asked and Diana nodded with a smile.

“Yeah actually.”

“Is she having one of those 15 year old parties?” He asked and Diana shook her head.

“Hell no. We both felt the same about that. She hasn’t told me what she wants to do with her friends yet. Ooh maybe you can teach me how to bake a really nice cake for her.” She said and Harry nodded.

“Honestly, yes. I could come over on Saturday morning? It should maintain it’s freshness for Monday.” He assured and Diana nodded in agreement. “Wow…15 years old…what were you up to 15 years ago?” He asked her and she glanced to him with a straight face and his eyebrows raised before he started to laugh, “Oh shit, yeah you were pretty busy I’d say.” He chuckled as she shook her head with a giggle.

“Yeah, I’d say a little busy… just giving birth to a whole ass person!” She said and he chuckled again and then bit on his lip.

“Ummm, how was that by the way? Having Celeste, you said you were alone.” He recalled and she nodded.

“Well I was in class when I started getting contractions, but I wasn’t due until the next week so I didn’t think much of them. They were so small and far apart that I just took a Tylenol and continued on through my day.” She said and he shook his head, “I was in my night class when they started getting more intense and so I finished my class and drove myself to the hospital.”

“You finished class? You nerd…” He chuckled and she laughed.

“It was important to me! We were learning about neurotransmitters and the synaptic cleft and all that good stuff. Even made it to finals.” She said with a grin and he chuckled, “But ummm, once they told me I was dilating quite fast I called Damian, he was in France with his girlfriend at the time because we weren’t expecting her until the next week and so he found a flight, but he wouldn’t be making it util the next night the earliest so I knew I would be alone.” She said and her smile started to drop a bit, which he noticed quickly.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He said quietly and she shook her head.

“It’s alright.” She assured him with a small nod, “That was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do.” She continued, “Like…in the moment it’s kind of hard to remember that like…the female body is built to be able to give birth.” She explained with a small chuckle and he nodded, “The nurses were really great and supportive though, they’re the ones who reminded me that women are the most powerful people on the planet and they were so encouraging-”

“Hyping you up? As the kids say.” He asked and she chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, as the kids would say.” She agreed, “And by 4am the next morning she was here!” She said with more excitement now.

“And you still went to finals?”

“Well, it was a Saturday when she was born and my first final was a Wednesday afternoon so that’s why I was able to go do that. I was only taking 3 classes at the time so it’s not like my schedule was insane for exams or anything like that.” She assured and he shook his head with a smile.

“Still! You had a baby.” He said and she giggled, “Did you know you were gonna name her Celeste?” He asked and she smiled.

“No. I was having such a hard time choosing a name. Like, I wanted a name that would also remind me a bit of Wes in some way and I was just having the hardest time doing that in a way that I liked. After she was born I was in the hospital, looking over some old photos for inspiration and well there were tons of football pictures of Wesley, our high school colors were light blue and white. And well, Wes was going to go to UCLA, which also has that light blue color. Then, in Spanish Celeste means light blue and that’s how I chose Celeste.” She shrugged and he smiled.

“It’s cool how you were able to make that connection. And well, it’s a beautiful name.” He said and she smiled.

“Thank you. As long as she likes it.” She smiled and he did as well.

“You’re so fucking cool and badass.” He smiled with pride and she looked away bashfully.

“I’m glad you think so.” She muttered, “My teenage daughter begs to differ.”

“OK, when you put it like that…” he teased and she laughed and shook her head.

“You’re so annoying.” She laughed and he grinned.

“I thought I was thoughtful…” he teased.

“We all have good and bad in us, don’t we?” She asked and he laughed softly.

“I suppose so.” He confirmed with a small smile and she sighed as they just looked at each other for a few moments and her lips quirked up in a smile again, “What?” He questioned.

“Nothing, you just…look cute with your glasses on.” She complimented and she didn’t miss how he got all bashful over it.

“Oh, ummmm, thanks. Ran out of contacts.” He explained and she hummed.

“Well, I like this but I’m also biased, if you haven’t noticed I have like…10 pairs of glasses.” She said and he chuckled.

“Yeah, but yours are all cool and funky, these are just plain.” He said.

“Yeah, meaning they don’t distract for your chiseled and handsome face.” She said with a grin.

“Chiseled and handsome, huh? Is that what you really think of me?” He asked and she giggled.

“I mean…it sounds better than just saying hot.”

“No, no. Hot is good too.” He assured her and she sniggered along with him. “I like your office, it’s really nice, cozy.”

“Thank you.” She smiled happily, “That’s the vibe I’m going for.” She assured, “How’s your grading coming along? Excited for finals next week?”

“It’s…coming.” He said and she chuckled, “The papers are so long…if they ask me back for another semester I’m gonna try an exam and see what I prefer to grade. What do you prefer?”

“Well the exams are definitely easier to grade. However, I prefer giving papers when I can, as annoying as it is, because the paper ensures that the student is applying their knowledge. If they submit a good paper that proves to me that the students have met all of the learning objectives of my class. I want them to think about the information and find a purpose for it. I mean, mostly anyone can memorize facts and answer questions about them, you know?”

“Yeah, I see your point.” He hummed pensively, “And well, my last classes were the ones this week since both sections are doing papers so I don’t have anything going for me next week.” He explained.

“So you would say yes if you were asked back?”

“Oh definitely. It was a bit terrifying at first, but I really love it. It feels like the perfect way to completely give back. Like yeah, it’s time consuming but definitely rewarding. You know, I felt so powerful and fucking cool when a student asked me for a recommendation letter a few weeks ago.” He said with a big smile and she giggled.

“Oh shit, don’t let the power go to your head!” She warned with a chuckle.

“I don’t know, it’s more gratifying than signing your name on things as a doctor.”

“Hmmm…interesting.”

“Yeah, like believing in someone so much that you vouch for them? That’s so cool.”

“It actually is pretty cool…” she agreed with a smile. They were interrupted by her phone ringing on her desk and she excused herself before standing up and going to pick it up, “Hey!” She answered as she turned around to face him again as she rested her bum on the edge of her desk, “No, Damian I didn’t realize it was almost 9.” She said and his eyes widened in shock as she looked at him and nodded, “Well I got really sucked into grading and then Harry stopped by with some dinner so I- no, it’s not a date.” She said and Harry chuckled. He agreed this was not a date, at least not the kind of date he would want to take her on, but he was glad that she was talking about him to Damian instead of making up some lie as to why she was delayed.

“Well we just got to talking. I’ll be home soon, don’t wait up, it’s fine.” She said and Harry stood up and started making his way over to her with a smile and she glanced up at him as he placed his hands on her hips as he basically closed the space between them. Harry started to lean down to her and she raised her hand to not let him get too close to her face yet and so he just kissed the palm of her hand and she smiled at him as he then kissed up her fingers, his eyes not daring to leave hers, “Ummm no, she has school for 2 more weeks so cannot stay up until midnight.” Diana said and Harry grinned, “Of course she lied to you, she’s a teenager…OK, fine. When I get home she needs to head up. Yeah, yeah…bye.” She hung up and shook her head as she put her phone down before glancing up to him with a smile, “What’s the meaning of this?” She asked playfully.

“Nothing, it made me really happy that you didn’t lie about this.” He said simply and she smiled up at him.

“Feels good to say it.” She confessed and sure, it was something so simple but it was making Harry’s heart pound erratically with excitement.

“Can I kiss you, Professor Beltran?” He asked quietly with a smug smile and she giggled as he dipped down a bit lower and she hummed pensively.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” she teased as her hands now ran up and down his chest.

“Please?” He asked quietly, almost pleading with her as his hands inched back just enough to have his fingers dig into her bottom in perfect time with his request and she giggled quietly.

“Ugh, fine…if you insist.” She said with a dramatic eye roll and he chuckled as he hoisted her up and she gasped in surprise until she felt him set her down on her desktop.

“There, you’re closer now.” He said as one of his hands cradled her face and she leaned into the warmth and comfort of his touch. He was a bit hesitant to get too close because he was fighting for his life against the erection that was raging in his pants, but she soon hugged him and pulled his body flush to her own and he exhaled shakily against her lips as she felt it pressed right up against her, their eyes were on each others’ as the sexual tension boiled over between them.

“You’re so hard for me.” She whispered, her lips tickling his with her soft words. He felt his cock throb and a chill traveled down his spine as he nodded, “Can I help you with it?” She asked and he tightened his grip on her waist as his other hand dragged her bottom lip down with his thumb.

“Love…” He whined and she smiled before kissing the pad of his thumb.

“What?”

“Is that a good idea?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have to do anything f’you don’t want though.” She whispered as her grip on him loosened up.

“Of course I want y’to but-”

“Then?” She interrupted as her hands came back to his chest and she gently raked her nails down his chest until they stopped at his trousers and he squeezed his eyes shut as his jaw tensed up and she smiled as she watched him try to keep himself composed.

“Fuck.” He groaned lowly as he knocked his head back and she leaned up a bit, supporting her weight with one hand against her desk to be able to kiss his neck and he sighed in relief as her lips sponged gentle kisses down the column of his throat. She could feel it bob as he swallowed thickly, “A-are you sure?” He asked and she hummed against his neck.

“Yeah, so fucking sure.” She whispered as she kissed him a bit harder and he dug his fingers into her as she started to suck a little, not enough to leave a mark though.

“Harder.” He mumbled his request, “Suck harder. Wanna see your mark on me tomorrow.” He muttered lowly and breathily and she moaned softly as she parted her mouth a bit more and sucked a bigger patch of his skin into her mouth as her right hands traveled lower to grope at the bulge in his pants, “Oh shit…” he sighed in satisfaction as she started to rub the palm of her hand up and down his length. He knew he was holding her too hard so he let her go and grabbed the edge of her desk instead, his grip was so hard that his knuckles were going white as she worked him up even more. She smoothed her tongue over the mark she left under his jaw before kissing it tenderly and then pulled back a bit.

“Can I undo your pants?” She asked him.

“Yeah, baby.” He confirmed and she moved forward with his permission.

Diana immediately brought her hands to the button and unfastened it with ease before she moved to the zipper, she tugged it down gently and thankfully with a steady hand despite the nerves she felt at the prospect of being sexually intimate with someone after quite a long time. Nerves were natural. And she was relieved that she felt nervous in this moment rather than anxious, because she’d been so anxious about sexual intimacy, which is why she hadn’t done anything with anyone in a while. But Harry was a safe person to her, she knew that there was plenty more to learn about him, but she knew enough to trust him and to feel comfortable around him. She was attracted to him and she often found herself fantasizing about him when she got some alone time. She hadn’t realized that she’d not moved for a few moments until Harry’s hands grabbed her cheeks and turned her up to his face.

“Hey, are you OK?” He asked quietly as he searched her eyes.

“Ummm, yeah I’m just nervous and I was justing thinking that I haven’t done something like this in a really long time.” She explained.

“Like I said before, you don’t have to do anything f’you don’t want to.” He reminded her and she nodded.

“I know. I want to, I just…might be rusty.” She huffed through a small chuckle and he leaned in and kissed her slowly. Her mind just blanked as she got lost in the way that their lips moved together, almost like a dance. He was leading the kiss and she was following until she just needed more. She sucked at his bottom lip before peeking her tongue into his mouth and he took the hint and deepened the kiss. They were breathing hard now and her hand sunk back down and slipped under his open trousers to feel him over his underwear. She couldn’t help it as her mouth watered upon feeling the outline of his erection straining the fabric over it. Her fingers came back up to the band of the briefs and ran over it a few times, building up the courage to get underneath it. She appreciated that Harry wasn’t rushing her to do anything despite his evident desperation for her. He then parted his lips from her and smiled at her. “What is it?” She asked at the smirk adorning his lips.

“You’re definitely not rusty.” He assured, “Teasing the way you are is a pro move.” He sniggered and she bit her bottom lip for a moment.

“I have a confession to make.”

“Go on.”

“It’s not deliberate, I’m just stalling.” She admitted through a giggle and he chuckled as he kissed her cheek.

“Well it definitely doesn’t come across like that.” He said with a smile.

“Well good.” She sighed through a giggle. And her smile dropped as she bit her lip again and glanced down to watch as her hand gently pulled the band of his briefs away from his body, “So you like being teased?” She asked quietly before glancing up into his eyes. Harry nodded in confirmation because he couldn’t trust his voice at the moment. Not with her fingers toying with the band of his briefs and with her big, beautiful eyes peering into his own. He had been craving her for ages and here they were, on the brink of having just a little bit more with each other, it was too exhilarating, “Why?” She asked and he chuckled.

“Ummm, it’s exciting I guess. To not know when to expect something. The building of the tension…fighting to keep your composure…edging…” he said and she hummed in understanding as she glanced down between them and then back into his eyes, “I mean, patience is a virtue I’ve been blessed with.” He smiled smugly and she grinned.

“Hmmm, can’t say the same for me.” She admitted, “I hate to be kept waiting.” She said with a smile.

“We’ll see about that.” He hummed as he placed his hands on her thighs and she smirked as she finally dipped her hand into his briefs and tugged them low enough that his penis was freed up and fell into the minimal space between them. She licked over her lips with lust, watching it bob up and down a few times with the weight of it. It was really pretty, she couldn’t deny it. It was uncut, long and thick, his tip was a dark pink and everything inside of her was begging her to lick and suck at it until his arousal was pooling steadily into her mouth. She had to touch him and so she quickly wrapped her hand around his shaft and gave him a gentle squeeze. Harry sighed in relief and she smiled lightly as she looked back at his face only to find that he was already looking at her. Despite the hungry look in his eyes, he remained calm and like he had said, patient. So patient, so good, so determined to not pressure her or push her into continuing on if she changed her mind and in the end that’s exactly why she continued. She tightened her grip around him a little more and dragged her hand up and he squeezed her thighs just a bit in return, “S’that alright?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, feels good.” He said lowly and she dragged her fist back down. Harry swallowed thickly as she started to set her pace. He was just about to ask her to mind his tip when she started to circle over it with her thumb and he moaned lowly as his eyes squeezed shut at the new and delicious sensation, “That’s…that’s so good.” He hummed and she bit her lip, not sure whether to watch his face contorting in pleasure and satisfaction, or to just stare at his beautiful penis. She decided to put her saliva to good use and pulled her hand away to spit onto her palm and then wrap it back around his cock. He groaned as the slickness made her strokes glide with even more ease and in her excitement she started going a little faster and his body tensed up, “Fuck, just like that, baby.” He chuckled breathily as his head dropped back and his fingers dug into her thighs.

Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest as he fought to just keep it down. He had only been dreaming of this moment for months now and it was finally coming true. His breathing was labored as he grunted quietly with each stroke of Diana’s fist over his cock. He was so fucking hard that he just felt this immense pressure in his lower stomach. His fingers were gripping hard at her thighs, just needing to hold on to something so that he didn’t feel like he was withering away every time her fist dragged over his sensitive and leaking tip. The build up was incredible, he could feel his knees buckling the closer and closer he got to his orgasm. His breathing was hitching in his throat and he’d bite down hard on his lip to keep his sounds to a minimum because the pleasure had him reeling, he’d been waiting for this with her for so long and it was superseding his expectations.

“Oh fuck, baby!” He moaned as she tightened her fist a bit more and started stroking faster, building him up for his finish, “Y-you’re gonna make me come.” He panted as he spared a glance down to his cock in her fist, watching it moving up and down quickly, “I’m so close!” He grunted and she smiled at him and it was making him melt.

“Yeah, baby?” She asked and his entire body jolted when he heard her call him that. He swore that his heart exploded just from hearing her call him a term of endearment and that was his undoing. He could feel his entire body tingling and he forced himself to remove his hands from her thighs and instead gripped the desk as his abs started to clench and his lungs to tighten without his permission. He felt like time froze for a few seconds as the pleasure peaked and his jaw slacked as he panted hard, trying to keep himself quiet as he felt the thick, milky streams of his sperm started to shoot out of his tip. He thrust into her hand as she kept going, keeping her pace to get him through the entirety of his orgasm and as his thrusting slowed and his breathing shuddered she slowly came to a stop, not releasing him just yet, but definitely loosening her grip around him. Despite his orgasm, his cock hadn’t softened yet. She could feel him throbbing in her hand, that big vein on the underside pulsed in perfect time with his rapid heart beat, “You’re still so hard. Got a little more for me?” She asked as she glanced up to him and he blinked his eyes open and nodded.

“Go slow.” He whispered and she nodded as she started stroking him a bit again, “Fuck yeah.” He hummed as he watched intently this time as she milked the last bit out of him. Definitely not as much as the first one, but there was just a little more he needed to get out of his system. These last couple streams just oozed out of his tip and down her fist and with a brain still foggy with pleasure he grabbed her face and kissed her hungrily. His tongue invaded her mouth and slid against her own as her soft moan poured into his mouth. Moments later they parted and he rested his forehead against hers, “Fuck, that was incredible, thank you, baby.” He said through his ragged breathing and she nuzzled her nose against his before kissing his lips quickly.

“No problem.” She sniggered and he smiled.

“Your turn?” He asked suggestively as he kissed her cheek.

“Maybe another time, I need to get home.” She huffed and he pulled back and pouted.

“I feel like a total ass now. I knew I should’ve insisted on ladies first.” He said and she shook her head.

“No, no, no, it’s alright. To be quite honest this was…a lot. I wasn’t expecting to do that. And I don’t regret it, at all!” She clarified, “But I’m just not…ready for that… w-with you…I think.” She explained nervously. Not really sure how he would react, but he just nodded.

“That’s alright. You don’t need to justify it to me.” He said and she frowned.

“I think I do.” She said and went to reach for his face but then saw that she was still covered in his cum, “Oh, ummm-”

“Hang on.” Harry said and then reached behind her and pulled a couple of tissues from the box she had on her desk and cleaned her of his mess, “There.” He said softly before balling up the tissues and tossing them in the garbage can right beside her desk.

“Thanks. Ummm…” she started and sighed, “It’s not that I don’t want to do this with you, believe me I do! I’ve gotten off to the thought of doing plenty of things with you a few times already…and fuck, that’s…TMI.” She shook her head, the nerves were getting the best of her, and he grinned at her confession but he stayed quiet and let her finish, “I’m just…afraid of what that’ll mean for me.” She explained, “Like I…” she sighed and swallowed thickly, expressing her feelings was so hard for her but she needed to do it now, she owed it to him, “I like you, Harry. I like you a lot and I just think that…if we’re not careful I could see myself really falling for you and-”

“OK, would that really be such a bad thing?” He asked.

“Yes! It would be right now, at least.” She said to him.

“I think you’re just scared.”

“Of course I am! I just told you I’m afraid of this! Of us! Of what I feel!” She groaned, “I’m not ready.” She shook her head, “I’m not ready to add more complications to what we already have going on! If I sleep with you it’ll change everything!”

“We’re not gonna have sex. We don’t have to for as long as you don’t want.”

“I’ll cave! I’ll cave because it’s you! I mean…fuck!” She groaned in frustration.

“Di, look at me.” He said softly as her eyes met his, “I care about you. I only want you. You’re all I think about day in and day out. I’m starting to fall for you, even with the limited access I have to your life! I want this. I want you.” He said to her earnestly.

“Well it’s not just me, Harry.” She said softly, “I have my daughter to think about as well. My happiness is her happiness and vise versa.”

“You know that I care about Celeste, love.”

“Being a father is far more complex than just caring about someone, Harry. And you’ve told me before that you never wanted kids!” She reminded and he sighed.

“It’s a little more complicated than that for me, but even still! People change their minds all the time!”

“I don’t want you to just change your mind just to get me in exchange, Harry. What if you change your mind about this again? What if I let you in and you wake up one day and realize that you never wanted that?” She asked and he shrugged.

“I’d never commit to you without considering all of that seriously first, Diana. And well, you just need to trust me.” He said simply and she sighed and shook her head.

“I need to go.” She said instead and pushed him back a bit so that she could get back on her feet and he just moved aside and did his pants back up. He felt his heart aching more and more by the second as she just turned around to face away from him and he frowned as she started to cry.

“Di, baby.” He said softly as he reached for her arm and she flinched away from him, “Don’t do this.” He pleaded quietly. His heart broke as she started to sob. He felt beyond shitty now, but she insisted that it had been fine, that she wanted to take this step with him. Maybe he should’ve tried harder to dissuade her? Sure, she was saying that she didn’t regret it but she was crying about it and that certainly wasn’t because she was happy about what they had done. He rolled his lips together for a moment, but before he could even continue beating himself up over this he nipped that in the bud with a curt, but painful sentence, “I knew I shouldn’t have come here.” He said lowly, but not low enough to spare her from his words. They cut deep and made her let out another sob, “Ummm…tell your brother to have a good flight for me.” He said before grabbing his things. She turned around now, sniffling.

“Harry…” she whimpered.

“I can’t keep doing this with you!” He said with frustration, “It’s not fair! I understand that you’re hurt and that you’re scared but you can’t keep hiding behind your tragedies, Diana!” he expressed, “I mean, it’s been 15 years, Di. Don’t you ever get tired of making the same excuses?” He asked her with a frown, “You self-sabotage better than anyone I’ve ever known! And at this point you’re actively choosing to not move on from the past. You’re choosing this for yourself.” He said with pity and she hiccuped on her sob, “And quite frankly I…I don’t need this.” He said to her and headed out. The loud bang of her office door closing behind him made her flinch. Moments later the door swung open again, “And don’t you dare bookmark this moment as an example of how people always abandon you or that you’ve always been alone because I have tried. I have tried for months!” He pointed at her before leaving again and right before she could even make her next move he came back through the door again, “And I don’t know why I feel like the biggest asshole when you’re the one who insisted on getting me off! I have feelings too! I’m not an experiment for you to figure out what the fuck you want or what you are and aren’t ready for!” He scolded.

“I know you’re not, Harry.” She said quietly

“Well that’s what you’re making me feel like! I feel used. You…you push me away and then pull me back in and give me hope that we can work things out and then you push me away again until something happens and I’m just stupidly available for you! Taking any crumb of attention you’re willing to spare me. I know you’re in a tough spot, but if you don’t see this going anywhere just say it.” He said and she frowned.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I assure you I never meant to make you feel that way.” She apologized and he sighed.

“I know…I know that, but that’s what you’re doing.” He said to her sadly and her heart broke seeing the pain in his eyes, “Maybe I am the asshole for pursuing you when I knew how you felt about this from the start.” He concluded sadly.

“You’re not an asshole, Harry.” She said coming up to him and taking his hands in hers and her frown deepened when he pulled them out of her grasp.

“I stand by what I said before I can’t do this anymore.” He said looking into her eyes as she started to cry again, “Just…figure your shit out, Diana.” He said with disappointment before heading out and after a few more moments he didn’t return.

Diana groaned in frustration as more tears fell and after a few more minutes of that she started to clean up. She put all of their now empty food containers in the bag they’d arrived in and set them by the trash can; she put her decor back where they went and then grabbed her things to head out. When she opened her office door to leave she saw Harry standing right across the hall with his phone in his hand and he glanced up at her.

“Didn’t want you to walk alone at this hour.” He said quietly. Diana just pulled her door shut, hearing it click to indicate it had locked.

“Thank you.” She said and he nodded as they started to head down the hall in silence. When they got in the elevator they stood across from each other, he glanced back at his phone and she just stayed looking at him and as she glanced down his body she rolled her lips together to suppress the giggle that wanted to leave her mouth despite the clear tension brewing between them, “Ummm, you’ve got ummm…cum on your pant leg.” She said and he glanced up to her.

“Well so do you.” He said and she glanced down at herself and saw that she was indeed stained as well.

“Oh…thanks.” She responded and then glanced up at him again, “N-not for the cum stain! F-for telling me about it.” She clarified and his eyes met her’s again and he shook his head as he fought a smile, “What?”

“Well duh, goes without saying that you were thanking me for telling you and not for…Jesus.” He said and she started to giggle and he shook his head. “Stop that! I’m still mad at you.” He said as he fought his hardest to keep a straight face.

“You can still be mad at me and laugh at my scrambled up brain.” She said and he shook his head.

“You’re something else…” he chuckled lowly and she smiled, she’d accept that over him shouting all her truths to her face.

The doors finally slid open and they started making their way to the parking structure closest to her building. She was definitely angry at him for losing his patience and shouting at her, but she wasn’t going to fight him on it because he was totally right about everything he’d said. Maybe in a couple of days once he’d cooled off she’d be able to tell him that she didn’t love the way he spoke to her and that maybe in the future he could vocalize his concerns earlier on instead of letting everything build up this way? But as that thought materialized in her head she recognized that trying to “avoid” her feelings for him was futile because well, they already existed despite how cautious she thought she was being. It was pointless to try and shut someone out who had already been let in. Even without her realizing it, his charming, helpful, and loving nature had softened her up enough that he’d unknowingly made a home for himself in her heart and she didn’t want that space to be empty. She loved him. There was no question about it.

“Hey, what is it? Did you forget something?” Harry asked because she had stopped walking and she soon shook her head as she looked at him.

“Ummm, no, it’s fine. I’m…I’m fine.” She assured and he looked at her skeptically for a moment before she nodded again in reassurance and they kept walking. She obviously wanted to tell him but it would feel a tad manipulative to say it to him right after the argument they had. Like she’d say anything to not lose him and continue using him, she didn’t want him to even think that was an option. Of course she wasn’t using him, she could never, but it made her so sad to know that he felt like that. Like he was just a person she called on for convenience. And well, if he was done, she had no idea what she would do, but she certainly didn’t want to hurt him anymore. She was mulling the thoughts in her head until they got into the structure.

“What floor are you on?”

“Second.” She said.

“Do you want to take the stairs?”

“I don’t care, I just…I need you to know that I’m not using you, I never have.” She explained to him, “I hate to think that I make you feel that way about us. And yeah, I admit that I do call for you when things get tough but because you…you make me feel safe and looked after and you always know what to say to make me feel better and I…I need you.” She said and his eyes softened, “I want you around. I enjoy being with you and around you and I don’t ever want you to feel like anything we’ve shared together has been some scheme to just keep you close by until things get better.” She sighed.

“I’m not great at expressing my feelings or even knowing what to do with them, like I’ve grown up with such cold and callous people and the only time I ever let myself fall in love was with Wes and look how that ended!” She expressed with frustration, “You’re right, I choose to be alone. But it’s not because I enjoy it or want to be alone, it just works for me! It always has! I’m just fine all alone! I always had been until…until you.” She confessed as she met his gaze, “It scares me to know that everything I know about how to live and carry myself would potentially change. Like I’ve been this way since I was 19, Harry! That’s a really long time…15 years.” She said to him and he nodded, “I think that more than getting hurt, I fear hurting you.” She explained, “And I feel like shit knowing I already did. And you’ve been wonderful and so patient with me and I know that I’ve pushed the bar way too fucking much. So I…understand why you’re done with this. W-with me.” She said as her eyes welled up and he frowned, “I don’t want to string you along, Harry. You don’t deserve this so I respect your decision.” She said and swallowed thickly.

“You respect my decision?” He asked her and she nodded, “Diana…that’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” He said to her and she frowned, “We both have a say in this. If you agree that whatever this was has run it’s course, fine. But don’t just agree with me if that’s not what you want!” He said to her and she sighed.

“Well you’re clearly done and upset with me, why would I try and change your mind?” She asked.

“Because! It’s what people do when they…care about each other! They fight for each other. They try and work things out!” He responded, completely exasperated.

“Well, I’ve never had to do that before so…now I know.” She said and he shook his head as he fought off a smile, “What?”

“Nothing I just…forget that it’s been a while for you.” He said and she chuckled through her tears.

“More than a while, I’d say…” she responded and he hummed in agreement with a smile.

“I’m sorry I blew up on you that was wrong of me.” He apologized, he was always so good about that, it was one of her favorite things about him.

“I accept your apology, but I understand why you exploded like that. And you know, I’d like to think that I’m a pretty receptive and approachable person about this kind of stuff. So maybe in the future you can just tell me as things come up and not let it build up to that point, you know?” She said and he smiled.

“In the future, huh?” He asked and she felt her cheeks heat with a blush as she nodded.

“Yeah, in the future.” She repeated, “That is of course i-if you still want to be in my life in the future. Because I’d really like you to be.” She clarified softly and he reached for her hand and the amount of relief she felt surge through her body was epic and she just batted him aside and hugged him instead and he chuckled as he hugged her back.

“Of course I want to be in your life.” He said softly as he rocked them back and forth a bit.

“Good. I’m so sorry for making you feel less important than you are to me.” She apologized yet again.

“I guess I forgive you.” He hummed and she scoffed playfully which made him smile.

“Ummm, Harry?”

“Yeah, love?”

“Would you want to go on a date with me?” She asked as she pulled back to meet his gaze.

“I’d love to.” He responded immediately with a big grin.

“Perfect! I’ll plan something and run it by you.” She said with a meek smile.

“Perfect.” He agreed. He couldn’t stop smiling because yes, it had been hard, but what he felt for her was well worth the challenges. He couldn’t lie to himself about his feelings, they were more “love” than just “like” by now and well, he knew that was big. So he wouldn’t spring that on her just yet, but he couldn’t wait for the day where he’d finally be able to just say it to her. Just tell her that he loves her.

---- TAG LIST ----

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LMK if you want to be on the tag list! And as always....

Your feedback is greatly appreciated!

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mysterycharacterflowers · 1 year ago

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Round 1; A bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas Vs Forget-me-nots

If you know who they are, or are pretty sure of it, please don't tell until this poll has ended!

First, let's talk about the bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas

Meaning: White Chrysanthemums: represent grief and are a way to pay respects to the deceased, especially family. Orchids: represent strength and beauty in the face of adversity. They can symbolize his resilience and the beauty he brings to the lives of those around him. Irises: are a symbol of hope and wisdom. They can represent his ability to persevere and make wise decisions despite the difficulties he has faced. Blue Hydrangeas: can symbolize deep emotions and understanding. They can represent both the grief he feels due to losing his family and the understanding to push through regardless. Description: This is a young man who has faced a series of hardships in life, lacking guidance and living day-to-day without clear goals or ambitions. He has lost both his parents and his older sister in car accidents, leaving him with no immediate family except for his goddaughter. Despite not even having a girlfriend previously, he now has to adapt to caring for a baby without much, if any, support. It's heavy, but he carries it extremely well. He's a very loving person and has been a great father thus far, all things considered. He's hard working, compassionate, and above all else wants to do his family proud. He is so tired though. He doesn't find himself smiling often. Poor thing.

Check their post here

Now, let's talk about the Forget-me-nots

Meaning and why this flower was chosen: For one it's kind of an association thing; he's a very soft and gentle person, but also upbeat and dedicated to the people he cares about. He would also like the color and shape of the flowers, and he'd enjoy having a bunch around his living space just because they're pretty. Symbolism wise, too, he loves deeply and is loved deeply and is missed deeply. In a sense he's like a personification of the flowers, almost, but not quite. I just associate forget-me-nots with him a lot. Description: He's cheerful, excited to be alive, and loves the world deeply, always wanting to know more about it. He's very good at seeing the brighter side of things, and is endlessly encouraging and supportive, though not overbearing and pushy about things. He's also deeply curious, and will dedicate himself to learning more about what he's interested in at any given point, and he has many passions he's developed over the years besides his main one. He's almost kind of cheesy with how he expresses his affection because he's very genuine with it, but his loved ones know that about him and only love him all the more. Also he's agender. No gendered terms like 'brother' or 'boy' for him pls

Check their post here

#round 1 #mysterious character 2: bouquet of marigolds - edelweiss - rhododendron #mysterious character 2: forget-me-nots

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leefi · 1 year ago

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The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere Read-through | Part 8: 100-127 (END)

How did Anna have a contact paradox...how many people is ophelia twinning her infinite feminine energy with...ok my new theory is that everyone is ophelia, except for theo chan, who is currently having the worst acid trip of his life

Su keeps pointing out how Kam had been weirdly reticient to Fang's ideas surrounding the murders basically leading up to the moment of their death. She's maybe mutually noticed something with them, or has privately ruled them out as the culprit. At first I thought they were maybe in cahoots but it doesn't seem to go both ways - but then again Fang was always super in their own head anyway, and kind of acts like a chaotic neutral-good agent (helping the rest of the class but also working to solve the mystery just for the sake of solving it/as an intellectual exercise). I really do think they were familiar with Balthazar to some degree (not necessarily in cahoots, they just know more about his deal than the rest of the class), but don't have much to go off of beyond that. Just wanna mention they were both pseudo-outsiders to the group. Also don’t wanna forget that Balt is primarily connected to Zeno in the first place, and nebulously connected to Utsu. He’s also a thanatomancer just like her.

Su said she can't help but feel as if this whole scenario was made for her. Is this her punishment? But why would she be getting punished?

Balthazar's name means "Bel protect the king". Actually let me look everyone up im curies

Kamrusepa was a goddess of magic and medicine. Go visit the Wikipedia page, the myth she appears in is pretty cool. Her symbol is an iron throne.

Ran: From Japanese 蘭, meaning orchid

Kuroka: From Japanese 黒岡, meaning black hill. thinking abt the story's cover art

Utsushikome was the name of a Japanese empress

Theodoros means divine gift/god’s gift

Ezekiel means strength of god

Seth means annointed, or placed. He was Adam and Eve’s third child, born after Abel’s death to appease the family’s heartbreak

I can’t find for his specific spelling but Bardia means exalted, lofty

theo zeke and seth are all biblical names im assuming. which is an interesting connection considering what the three of them are being accused of right now! bardia isn’t - it’s of persian origin. maybe the 3 of them were in cahoots about killing him together because of brett and the blood gulch. brettdiya

Fang: From Chinese 芳 (fāng), a gender-neutral name meaning "wind, fragrant, virtuous, beautiful". Kam’s name is also apparently associated with air but i could only find it on a google search excerpt. The goddess of medicine thing felt more prescient

Interesting thing I found on Fang’s name Wikipedia page! not implying that this is connected to the story, just wanted to share a cool thing given that this historical figure was an alchemist like them

Our group really did feel small and fragile now-- Down to just eight people. Even with the barrier, it didn't feel completely safe.

genuinely stupefied over how linos is still fucking alive. why haven’t they eaten him yet

I think Fang and the council lied about how long they'd been at the Sanctuary. That would explain why they seemed familiar with Balthazar too - they'd already met in a way that isn't impossible from when they walk into the conference room, announcing themselves. I think Kamrusepa had knowledge of this too - likely due to her position as class head. But why hasn’t she suspected Fang of Vijana’s death then? If she only knew that they agreed to show up, then kept it a secret from everyone else she would’ve tried to fit them into the murder puzzle. No, there’s probably something more she knows about Fang's role in this...

Yeah, Ezekiel was never supposed to meet Balthazar either. Ughhhhh this is making my HEAD HURT. FUCKING WEEKEND AT BALTHAZAR'S

im still laughing over him wearing the sunglassesssss indoors btwww. that was so cunty of him

You are what you are, and you can't be anything else. Right?

Ran of Hoa Trinh I love youuuuuuuu

me: wow i miss fang so much. sometimes i can still read their voice

READ ME

HEY GUYS

me: NOWAY

i spent the first day basically hiding out on my own in neffies room and only snuck out a couple times.

Neffie!!!!!!!!! also this could explain why the group saw nef grabbing a package of food over surveillance and delivering it to her room? but also was fang then the last person to see her alive?

The way Fang describes tls time is reminding me a lot of the Epic of Gilgamesh weird endless looping notepad fanfic where you can shuffle the pages around. Su found it AGES ago and I don’t think it’s been mentioned since. “anyway time in tls is FUCKED UP. it's not even really time at all. it's like if you asked a dumbass how they think time works and then made it that way instead. like ok. imagine you're some asshole god. and you can see that object. the whole 10d universe, everything that has happened+will ever happened etc. and you want something different to happen, but can't make it happen because everything already exists. so instead you grab a 1d point and pull it loose. a single "frame" of reality or something idk. now on its own that's not gonna do much right? but then you break it and make it rebuild itself. so then you have a new frame. bam. tls.”

ahh shit. i'm out of time. assuming i was killed and i'm not showing you this as a joke:

if i was shot from the garden, that means that the culprit doesn't remember the previous loops.

if i was shot from inside the room, that means they do.

AWAAYWAWYAWAWYAYW A GETS UP AND RUNS AROUND THE ROOM IN CIRCLES AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND

Su was pretty sure that the shot came from outside, and her memory is supposed to be the most reliable, like how Ptolema’s observations are. I don't think she'd emphasize it in her internal narration twice unless Lurina wanted to stress it

Does it even matter who the culprit is? Could the culprit already be dead??? RAHHHHHHHH

"It sounds more like you just don't want it to be true," Ezekiel observed. He seemed strangely resigned, like he'd already accepted the idea, though I couldn't say why that was the case.

its because he went up to bal's crazy funtime room and achieved enlightenment

Does granddad know that kuroka became shiko. I'm not talking about the dementia. I mean we saw him being against the idea and then Samium may have acted independently. But also Sami seemed to have been ignoring Kuroka completely. How does she fit into this puzzle? What did Su say, that they needed someone Shiko knew?

When she says she and granddad are really alike...maybe she means in comparison that Wen is his lost person and Shiko is hers. And they're both grasping for something they'll never have again

WHYW HW THEO CHAN IS ON THE STAGE????? REVUEDOROS???????????

oooh director and playwright treat specific scenes or character actions with probability...how inch resting

PTOLEMA BEING THE FIRST TO DETECT SOMETHING IS OFF WITH THE PLAYWRIGHT/DIRECTOR FOURTH WALL BREAK. SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP!!! SHE'S A SAVANT!

Joshi…hmm…modernized anima scripting…. HEIGHT SCRIPTING?

YOU CAN PLASTIC SURGERY YOUR HEIGHT NOW!!! SWEEEEEEEEEPPPP. also what is joshis blood type and culinary notes. i need it for my research

Su says the name is familiar but i'm confident we've never heard it before. how am i so sure? well it's all thanks to my beautiful gorgeous mind (i quote searched it on google) (ran also clarifies like 3 lines later but i didn’t see it because i was too busy quote searching on google)

Is this bioenclosure the same case as the pantry? anomalous to the time loops, kept more preserved thanks to the previous experiments they ran on it?

I climbed the stairs, and there she was at last, standing at the rear wall

PLAYWRIGHT: Ack, no! That doesn't work for this scenario! Switch it over to the alternative!

DIRECTOR: <sighing> Very well...

sorry that was me. but i got shy

THE IRON PRINCE STUFF. HUH

A MIND TRANSFERRED TO A MACHINE OF IRON…HUHHHHHH

Would putting someone’s mind in that kind of machine turn them into an invincible god? Like they’d have limitless connection to the power. Is that the key to immortality? Ok they clarify this in like 5 lines cool. Is that what the Order was trying to do in erasing themselves? Give themselves godlike powers then dip? Unmmn My brain feels like mush and baby im stirring that pot

They'd covered the sun in photovoltaic panels, and built minds for themselves as vast as oceans, where they could rule over their own artificial realities like gods. The rest of the human population lived and died by their leave, either as specks of detritus on Earth and the smaller colonies spread about the solar system and its close neighbors, or in a lesser state of transcendence within their domains. It was paradise and hell at once. All progress ground to a halt, and the distinction between real and unreal ceased to matter.

this literally happened in cookie clicker

ANNA???????????

WHAT

???

HUH??????

UHHHHHHHH

Sure. That might as well have happened

I don't think the timeloop explains Bal's knowledge of Su's past, which is how she just tried to rationalize it ...that seems totally separate. What did he call himself? a parasite to their group

Zeno thought Su was someone else...Bal is a close relation of one of Zeno's friends...RRRRRRRRR

watching kam sweep linos with this interrogation is so bonkers!!! go girlboss go!!!!!

Even at a time like this, I appreciated Kam's apparent willingness to become a huge hypocrite on my behalf.

kamsu 💖sweep forever

Personal matter. I'd overlooked the significance of that phrase. When you set aside the rest, that made it sound like the reason he'd been swayed had been something private and embarrassing. What kind of 'projects' did people have that were personal and embarrassing, and involved much younger men? The only ideas which came to mind felt more like a product of me being a pervert than anything, even if Zeno had made insinuations during our conversation.

Plus, when I'd asked Zeno about Balthazar, he'd told me he was here as part of a favor to an old friend. That didn't connect with what Neferuaten had said at all - so was it just an outright lie?

I think Bal is related to Sami…I have this feeling…ok so Zeno, their sponsor, is a neuromancer right. That’s the closest modern day equivalent to Samium’s pneumancy…so they could’ve worked closely together. That doesn’t really explain the embarrassing personal project though…What did nef say again?

"Everyone was part of the plan from the start," Ezekiel insisted, ignoring Seth's anger. "Not just Theodoros, but Bardiya, too. That's why you saw his room in the state it was earlier in the night-- He'd been upset about the whole thing, and drunk himself half to death."

LIAR! BROTHER BARDI DOESN’T DRINK. IT’S IN HIS CULINARY NOTE! kicks him down the stairs

idk about this culprit theo theory kam. I’m at the point where I can buy him doing something for bard’s death but swaying everything??? no wayyyy he’s simply too obvies and sweaty about it. but i could listen to you play murder mystery chicken with su all day long so please keep going

"Fine," she replies, with a flat look. "I will concede we cannot completely rule out a nude suicide attack from Balthazar

this is my nomination for best line in the story so far. runner up is wheres the elevator

taking a shot every time utsushiko says “you’re just fucking guessing!!!!” and kam replies “but my dear sweet precious trembling submissive prey animal of a classmate it is SUSPICIOUS 🤨☝️” and you find me dead at the bottom of a stairwell

"I'll tell you what almost certainly happened," KAMRUSEPA continues. "When we met with Bardiya, his room was in a terrible state. It looked as though he'd been drinking, and though he did a good job carrying his regular dignity, he was most likely inebriated to some degree, leaving

RAHHHHHHHHHH kicks her down the same set of stairs that im dead at the bottom of but Ezekiel’s body is suspiciously absent

So Bardiya was like…in a fit? In a haze? Was there a struggle in his room???? Why?

Why do Kamsu not realize the world has come to a standstill to listen to them talk. My answer to that is: the unstoppable tide of yuri

SORRY BOYS, this is YURI WORLD now and we’re taking PTOLEMA HOSTAGE

"What of it? Life precludes everything! I won't apologize for wanting to live above all else!" She brushes her curly ginger hair from her face, her expression growing serious as she stares at UTSUSHIKOME. "I know you're the same as me at your core, Su. You think I can't see it? It's why we get along so well in the first place. You do a good job of acting like a person with normal ethics, and sometimes your neurosis keeps you from acting when you know you should. But deep down, you're someone who would do anything to attain your desires. You'd even betray the entire world."

The kamsu is actually making me go fucking crazy. This is insane. THIS IS INSANEEEEEEE. ILL DO WHAT YOU LACK THE COURAGE FOR FOR BOTH OF OUR SAKES!!!

Su voice: we get along?

𒊹𒊹𒊹utsushikome: But I guess it couldn't have happened any other way. Pieces move according to the rules of the game. I am who I am, and I can't be anything else. <;smiling bitterly>

SHE’S QUOTING RAANNNNNNNN

did they just say deliberate assimilation failure

"It's not self-indulgent!" Samium declared. His tone was defensive, but it was clear it wasn't for himself. At this point he was obviously upset, a subtle tremble in his tone. "It's for Wen's sake! To give her another chance in this world, even in spite of everything!"

The parallels to Kuroka and Utushikome. I’m seeing them. Also sam i am definitely fucked that old man

This was such a shit garbage world. To have let this happen to Kuroka and so many other children. 200 years of peace and prosperity? more like 200 years of. Not that

Maybe Kuroka’s love of horror is part of the reason why she feels this punishment was designed especially for her. It’s like it’s tailor made to watch her suffer.

This yaoi between Samium and Gpa is going somewhere I can’t follow. You’re discussing KILLING A CHILD???? and you have NO HANGUPS???? They’re insane

In the midst of this, someone manages to throw a grenade in the air; they must have been carrying it since the visit to the armory.

There is only one cunt I know of who was hyperfixated on the grenades and they r not alive rn

I stared down into my cup listlessly, my hands trembling slightly as conflicting strands of thought shot through my mind. I cleared my throat hoarsely, almost like I was choking.

"...t-they tricked me," I told her, my voice feeble.

She was just talking about how she usually exaggerated how badly people were treating her to make sure they got in trouble.

Why does she keep calling her old body defective? Is it because she didn’t get pre-natal distinction treatment? Is there a disability we haven’t seen?

SHE’S RETELLING THE DEMON STORY FROM THE CARRIAGE RIDE WITH RAN??????? FRIM HER SPELEOSOEDITCIE (<-PERSPECTIVE)? BARKS

Do you remember the acclimation journal that I keep? The day number I wrote in it was 4412. If you count backwards from the first day of the conclave,

babygirl i was not going to do that

When she thought we were researching Induction in mutual ignorance during those first weeks, scouring old books and the logic sea for information, I was just working up the courage to talk to Samium's contact. When I told her I discovered my original body was dead, that was no revelation at all; Samium had informed me in advance exactly what the process was going to entail and how it'd be disposed of, and I even lied to her about the details, saying that it had been physically discovered rather than the truth, which was that Samium took it somewhere far away from the city and discreetly disintegrated it.

…

It was because I wanted to employ her as a tool to soothe my guilt.

it has literally never been more over than it is right now

she took 12 years of ran’s life. ran didn’t want to go into medicine. if someone made me go into medicine what I’d do to them could not be publically shared on the internet

through all these insane revelations I have just one thing to say. I cannot fucking believe that Kam was right about Theo

diversity win! the girl whose life and body you just stole might be bi!

These last chapters have actually been giving me a headache. I feel violated. Kudos to the author!

God everything she did made sense and the way her mentality was described was so so so perfect. I can’t believe it took 127 chapters to realize just how much of an antihero she is. She really let us believe that most of her self loathing was just some kind of self flagellation, but she was right. She really is as wicked and pathetic and awful as she claims. But the world failed her so so so so so many times, and then once it finally granted her a miracle, she threw it away.

Kam getting a double kill in the span of 5 minutes is making mejdjrjrjsjjsjsjdjdjdjdhhfrbfjjf. thank you Lurina for granting us the COD lobby i so dearly wished for

Bal says he thought someone could be saved by love…Sami was trying to save Su’s grandpa by bringing Wen back…Their manner of speech is similar to someone we’ve heard speak several times in flashbacks now…I feel fucking stupid even suggesting it but could Bal and Samium be the same person? How would that even work because they’re both alive and existing in the same place at the same time?

It would be so delicious if Su was dying for this chance to speak to Samium this entire time and she did. Like 3 times. While he was reading magazines

Also they’re a thanatomancer like su…i feel like if he were a neuromancer I’d be bouncing off the walls with this theory right now but it’s just my brain trying to make connections rn

Samium’s zeal towards this wen mission made me wonder if his conviction went beyond old man yaoi to a personal goal, especially after his call with autonoe. But then he actually dropped it after gpa said not to go through with it so. I guess he really is just super gay?

What would happen to Su if you put her in the Apega(?) machine?. Would she just revert to a younger combo of Shiko&Kuroka, would she maybe revert to younger Shiko only…like, could that be the way to kill Kuroka and restore Shiko?

So Su is Utsushikome and Kuroka simultaneously. A fusion of them. And Su also looks exactly like Wen, someone dear to gdad from before the collapse. So Su is like. 4 different identities at the same time - kuro chan, utsu, su (amalgamation), wen

And ran was literally forced to go into medicine

Zeno asks Seth where the world is. Seth is confused. Zeno’s answer is essentially “what you make of it”/in your mind/yours to mold. The world is a copy of something long dead. The protag is a copy of someone long dead. The narrative’s actors’ fixation on immortality…accompanied in tandem with the obsession with things long dead…absolutely tubular

Anyway here are screencaps of the lines that made my brain melt:

#my head is pounding. and i feel sick 😁👍#tftbn #*** was literally ****** to go into ********.

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irismfrost · 6 months ago

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August 2 - National Science and Technology Museum and Meinong District (Hakka)

I think I need to find a new breakfast spot. The hotel breakfast just isn't doing it for me. I just cannot eat another serving of rice and I cannot keep eating fries and ketchup. These hotels think that Americans eat fries and onion rings for breakfast and it's a little strange but alsooooo I have been eating them so it's understandable. I ate a banana and dry cereal today and I don't even like bananas. Tomorrow I am planning on waking up early so that I can venture out and find somewhere local.

Our first stop today was the National Science and Technology Museum (NSTM). It was pretty cool to see all the different innovations that Taiwan is involved with. There were a lot of interactive pieces and it was fun to click all the buttons. There was a health section with a chess board and you were supposed to step on different tiles and it would prompt you to explore your feelings. I don't think all of the sensors worked but it was still fun to jump around. The cafe on the second floor was huge and had more relics, mostly radio and showed the progression of music stuff. I bought some little trinkets at the gift shop and i spent over 600NTD (but one item was buy 2 get 1 free so I had to participate in that promotion) so I got to pick two random squares. You push through the paper on the square and there are little tiles with some words on them. The words say little items so I got a free mask and Lego batman. That was a nice surprise.

I saw a COSTCO!!!

Out next stop was Din Tai Fung, a very famous restaurant in Taiwan known for its service. There is actually one in New York. They came out with a bunch of appetizers and some dumplings and soup and fried rice and finished off with these little dumplings filled with chocolate sauce. It's all good I've never had before and it was pretty good. The dumplings were different flavors, but I didn't taste much difference. They were so small and they only give you one :(

Our last stop was the town of Meinong in the Cishan District. Most of this town is inhabited by Hakka people. The Hakka are originally from the northern part of China and invaded the southern part of China a couple times and eventually came to Taiwan and settled in the mountainous regions. They are known for their traditional oil-paper umbrellas, rice cakes, tobacco production. They have preserved their culture very well and most of the population still speaks Hakka. There are also many different accents across the entire country. We stopped by these little shops in the middle of nowhere where and I bought an umbrella. It was only the small version because I forgot most of my cash at the hotel but it is still super cute and the calligraphy roughly translates to the saying "April flowers bring May showers". Then we went to the museum about the Hakka people.

Reflection

I didn't realize how involved Taiwan was in global innovation. It's interesting that they just sort of choose an industry and don't give up on it no matter how profitable it is in the beginning. They have been producing things like bikes, motor vehicles, textiles, petrochemicals and associated goods, computers, microchips, semiconductors, food additives, food production (especially rice and fruits) and really just a little bit of everything. Apple brought a lot of business to Taiwan when they moved most of their manufacturing over here. The semiconductor and AI industries are also huge here and only continue to get bigger as they become more important.

Learning about the Hakka people was also interesting. I didn't realize how many different groups live in Taiwan. So many different types of people have immigrated here over the years. The name "Hakka" means "guest families" and they are called this because they don't really have a dedicated home. They are historically nomadic (from the northern part of today's China) and consider themselves guests both along the Yangtze river in China (the southern parts they ended up inhabiting) and Taiwan and I think that's why they've done such a great job preserving their culture. Another interesting thing about the Hakka is the difference in the women's roles. In traditional Chinese culture, high status women used to bind their feet. This practice involved breaking bones in the feet from a very young age and showed that the women were of such high status that they didn't need to work. The Hakka people on the other hand, value education and work; Hakka women would be working in the fields, doing chores, and raising the children, among other things. It's impressive that they were able to maintain their widely different culture and language in a country that became dominated by colonial influences.

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m1ckeyb3rry · 6 months ago

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LMFAO THE “what a weird ass dream” start has me REELING like oh honey you’re in for a rude awakening (literally)

Ok I paused to type that ^ and was gonna keep commenting in my notes as I went as if I were annotating but then I got too engrossed and forgot LMAOAO but anyways

STOPPPP KARASU??? SHDKSHSJS I will not swerve iwillnotswerve….but gardener Karasu AHHHDGHS it’s just giving more sweetheart humble Karasu I can’t

Ok pause SHSH the way you write Otoya is so?? >>>>>>> like ok I’m back on track now I want this Otoya LMAOAOA he’s like the perfect balance between go with the flow do what I want chill Otoya and deadly assassin ninja Otoya also that deal they made>>>>>> I’m seriously waiting for Y/n to succeed

Hiiragis also such an ass I love it because it also kinda reminds me of him in canon?? But I also never was really partial to him in the manga either so I love seeing him full villain here, also the constant distinction between Y/N being like her own (?) vs associated as. Hiiragi is something I really enjoy!! Idk I just kinda love the set up like we KNOW this mc is gonna be different and a lot more selfish and independent?? Like the constant distinction in identity is so satisfying to read for some reason like it’s refreshing to see y/n not try to reclaim the name

But yeah omg otoya <333 I mean I was already an otoya fan before hollyhock but this just opened my eyes to another Otoya Avenue and I LOVE IT can’t wait for the next installment…(also just out of curiosity how many installments do you think this’ll end up being? Very excited hehe)

Eita nation has been fed thank you for the feast

-Karasu anon

LMAOO i felt like it made sense that she wouldn’t believe what had happened considering she’s prone to nightmares and the entire situation is kinda crazy 😭 like yukimiya secretly betraying her family and otoya almost killing her…i wouldn’t want to believe it either 😔💔

HAHAHA omg well i’m glad you were engrossed in it at least 🤩🙏🏻

DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M SAYING ABT THEM LOWKEY HAVING A MEETCUTE like him waking her up while she’s sleeping on the bench swing in the garden surrounded by trees and flowers is so romance novel shoujo anime coded to me 😩 unfortunately y/n ruins it by being all “i can’t trust you 😐” and “you have a stupid name 😨” and “my half brother and father would kill you if they saw what you’re up to 🫣” LMAOOO poor karasu 😓 i’m excited to write more of their interactions though!!

AHHH YESSS i’ve been doing my best to incorporate his more chill go w the flow canon personality into his role as a ninja who kills whoever he’s told to!! it’s def a balance because if he’s too unserious then it’s almost disingenuous to the story itself but if he’s too proper and grave abt things he doesn’t feel like himself anymore?? idk but omg the deal…i’m so excited to write how it all plays out HAHAHA it’s going to be super fun i think!!

hiiragi is so horrible in this story but considering he was already kind of a douche in canon i don’t think it’s too terrible that i’m writing him like this!! i agree that he’s not one i cared much for in the manga either (he only even appears in epinagi for the most part and he’s antagonizing my man the whole time so we’re automatically enemies for that) so i don’t mind writing him in full villain mode here!! and yeah for y/n the name hiiragi has only ever been used to hurt her so even though she acknowledges that they’re her family and she’ll do her best to look out for them she’s also hyper aware that she’s different and her own person. her relationship to the hiiragi clan will evolve as the story goes on and her character develops and i think it’ll be interesting to watch how much things change from the beginning of the story to the end

HOLLYHOCK OTOYA MY BELOVED 💖💖💖 he and y/n are truly meant for each other…mr “your life is a game to me” and miss “i want you to belong to me” UM?? i almost considered going back and adding the toxic relationships tag but honestly the relationship itself isn’t even that toxic (if you can set aside all the murdering and death threats) it’s just between two very questionable individuals 😭 somehow it makes it much more fun to write than if they were perfect and normal though?? and honestly makes otoya more appealing to me LMAOAOA

hmm i’m not quite sure how many chapters it’s going to be but definitely a lot!! i’d be surprised if it was less than ten although ig it just depends on how long certain things take me to write 🤔 but i def anticipate it being on the longer side HAHA idk if it’ll quite get the opportunity to join the 100k+ club as many of my other fics have but for sure it’s going to be quite a lot…we’re still in the setup phase/prologue arc almost atm?? like these are relatively small-scale conflicts compared to what goes on later in the story so i don’t see it being less than 30-40k words (although again yk how accurate my predictions usually end up being — aka not very 😟)

#answered asks #hollyhock

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noxious-fennec · 2 years ago

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PLEASEEEE tell me about the symbolism in your drawing Oh i am dying to know

HII why thank you for asking!! I'll try my best to answer concisely but Tl;dr I'm not normal about either cwilbur or flower symbolism :) it also must be noted that a lot of my decisions are entirely based on my personal cultural experience so I hope if anything you find it interesting.

For an overview, The peice is inspired by art nouveau, namely alphonse mucha and henri privat livemont, and is mostly based on this hamlet production poster by the former. The composition however is not based on said illustration, and is slightly inspired in part by stained glass and fences of the movement. The clothing cwilbur is wearing is from the edwardian period, if I've got my references correct it's earlier in the period, though not any year in particular. It differs drastically in the fact that the colors are very vibrant (I can't help putting cwil in shades of red, ho16 permanently changed my brain chemistry), and that the Cape part of the inverness cape is entirely too short. Otherwise I've attempted to keep the general silhouette accurate.

Now the plant symbolism:

First: Arabian jasmine (which fun fact are not actually the same as the 4 petal vine yasmine, has a different name, Full (فل), and they grow on shrubs) and the Damascus rose go together because of two reasons: 1) i didn't know other flowers to put there and 2) they're very closely tied in my brain. If you try to find their symbolism you'll find a lot of things about beauty and purity, as is common with any white flower or rose, but my reasoning differs. Without going into too much detail, I intended for them to symbolise community and belonging.

Daffodils (the ones depicted are the ones most common in my region, they may not resemble the expectations but they are indeed daffodils) mean death rebirth and hope, its a flower i generally associate with cwil. Same meaning goes for the white lilies. And poppies have a heavy association with war and generally symbolise remeberance and hope for peace, and thus, l'manberg association.

The next five are flowers that represnt certain characters strictly based on cwilbur's preception of them, but they can be applied to others as well, i just thought these were most important:

Freesia: especially when yellow, usually means thoughtfulness, trust and friendship. represents cranboo.

Orange/tiger lilly: pride, hatred, status, tenacity. Cquackity

Lilly of the valley: cmon we all know this one, ctommy

Boat orchid: virtue and morality, a gesture of respect and friendship. Ctubbo

Gladiolus: diminutive of gladius(sword); strength of character, moral integrity and rememberance. ctechno

pomegranate tree and fruit: pomegranates have a very different connotation in Western media, from what I can glean, as opposed to what I'm used to them being perceived as (I won't derail this but I can elaborate if needed). In short, I've chosen to take advantage of this double meaning and so its here to represent life death and resurrection while the tree is for family and home.

On a side note, I was originally going to do night blooming jasmine (مسك الليل) but it wasn't working, the symbolism of it however still stand: its a flower many love and think smells amazing, but rarely do they actually want the burden of having it in their own yards because of how deathly strong it smells. I was intending on using it to symbolise the complicated nature of cwilbur's relationship with the important people in his life.

And finally, the olive tree: aside from its meanings of peace and friendship, olive trees also mean olive oil which is a product with many healing properties that is not too easy to make and requires a lot of work. i chose it to mean healing and the process thereof.

So yeah that's it, hope it's up to expectation and thanks for the interest means a lot to me <33

#sorry for the late answer my sleep schedule is not doing great #but i hope you enjoyed this little explanation i hope i conveyed my ideas well #there's a solid month's worth of wracking my brain trying to come up with something good here so yk it's very over the place #i didnt give certain characters like fundy or phil their own flower because i felt the symbolism of family was enough #considering how many flowers here are just like family associated for me #oh and the sword so yk i think it's fair #if you think i neglected an important character uhh give them the closest flower in here #no villains cus it was an appreciation peice alright #also sorry to others that asked i figured it'd be too redundant to explain it to each individually #you should know ive put none of my thought process here which took far too long. also didnt mention the 4 peice orignal concept #i gave up on that one but i still have a lot of drafts and poetry i chose to go along with it. thats where the line of poetry is from #anyway i ramble to much peace and love if you read this whole thing i am giving you a kiss #secret message to meow meowjoy you're like my favourite cwilbur artist im very honored <333 #fennec .ask #fennec.art

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isoldmysoultojonahclemence · 3 years ago

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[Army Version] Ikerev Name Analysis!

Lancelot Kingsley:

The name Lancelot means “servant.”

OK so at first I was really confused because he’s the King of Hearts, which is pretty much the farthest thing from a servant. But then I realized that it could be alluding to how he was forced to work for Amon for so many years.

Or this could also be a reference to the Arthurian legends, in which Sir Lancelot was said to be the greatest of the Knights of the Round Table.

The surname Kingsley means “a king’s meadow.”

Given that the entire Kingsley line are Kings, this is a very fitting name for them. Also Kingsley is similar to the word kingly, which definitely describes Lancelot.

Jonah Clemence:

The name Jonah means “dove/pigeon.”

The two birds are often seen as symbols of peace. They’re also often seen as messengers.

I wouldn’t necessarily associate Jonah with peace, since he’s kinda rash and very quick to anger.

But something else worth acknowledging was that his little brother ended up joining the Black Army, and the symbol of the Black Army is a raven. Doves and ravens are usually considered opposites, which could stand for how the brothers ended up on opposite sides.

The surname Clemence means “merciful.”

It seems a bit ironic to me, since the Queens of Hearts aren’t really known for their forgiveness (the original Queen chopped off people’s heads without listening to their reasons and Jonah literally held a grudge against Sirius for 14 years and counting).

Edgar Bright:

The name Edgar means “rich/prosperous” and “spear.”

Maybe the “rich/prosperous” part is about the Bright family wealth? They’re the third most important family in the Red Territory, so you’d think they’d be pretty rich. And then they’ve also assassinated people for profit before as well.

And the spear is a weapon, so it probably points toward how Edgar was weaponized to be the perfect assassin.

The surname Bright means “bright” (obviously).

I thought it was kinda ironic, just like Clemence, because obviously the duty of the Jack of Hearts is anything but bright.

Zero:

The name Zero means “void.”

I know that this was just the number he was given to differentiate him from the rest of the human experiments.

But I still thought that “void” kinda describes Zero around the time he just left the Magic Tower, because he doesn’t have anywhere to go anymore. And even when he joined the Red Army, there’s still soldiers who disrespects him because he wasn’t from the crimson lineage.

Kyle Ash:

The name Kyle means “narrow; strait.”

A strait, in case you didn’t know, is a narrow passage body of water connecting two other, larger bodies of water.

I interpreted Kyle as the strait and the Red and Black Armies as the two larger bodies. Since he’s a doctor and his primary goal is to save lives, he can act as a sort of connector between the two territories.

The surname Ash means “ash tree.”

Ash trees are said to have protective and healing properties, which makes sense since the Ash family are all doctors.

Ray Blackwell:

The name Ray means either “king” or “counsel.”

The “king” part is obvious, given that he’s the King of Spades.

And the word “counsel” can refer to how wise he is. He’s able to give good advice to people and run an entire Army at just 24 years old.

Or, the “counsel” part could also refer to how the rest of his Army supports him. Fenrir is his best buddy who would absolutely die for him, Sirius is always ready with some sort of strategy, Luka is practicing with his massive sword, and Seth is insanely strong. I personally believe that Ray wouldn’t be such an excellent King without their support, and he also acknowledges it himself.

The surname Blackwell means literally “a black well.”

The “black” part probably refers to the Black Territory, which he is the King of. I have no idea what the “well” part could refer to, though. Maybe it just sounds really cool?

Sirius Oswald:

The name Sirius means “burning/glowing.”

The “burning/glowing” part could refer to the person he is deep down inside, as opposed to the cool and mature exterior he usually tries to upkeep.

Also, his family owns a flower shop called “Canis Major” and his siblings are named Furud/Zeta, Wezen, Mirzam, and Aludra, which are all stars in the constellation of the Canis Major.

Given that he’s the oldest in his family (and also bc he’s a suitor), it makes sense that he would be named after the brightest star in the sky.

The surname Oswald means “god” and “power.”

These are both extremely powerful words, so it’s probably to be expected that he would canonically be the strongest suitor in terms of fighting ability.

Luka Clemence:

The name Luka means “bringer of light.”

Honestly I squealed when I saw the definition for this name bc it fits Luka so much! He brings light into everyone’s lives, but he just doesn’t realize it himself.

Also the Clemence bros both seem to have names related to heaven? Luka literally means bringer of light and doves are pretty much the symbol of heaven as well.

I’ve already talked about the surname “Clemence” in the Jonah section, so I won’t put it here again!

Fenrir Godspeed:

The name Fenrir means “fen-dweller.”

A fen, if you didn’t know, is a “low and marshy or frequently flooded area of land” (thanks Google!) I can’t really fathom why Fenrir is named after that, so perhaps a more accurate interpretation is that his name is also connected to Fenrir the Wolf, from Norse mythology, who’s supposed to eat the Sun and Odin when Ragnarok rolls around.

Basically, Fenrir the Wolf is incredibly strong and chaotic, and both of those qualities also belong to Fenrir the human!

(also this means he’s the son of loki now lmao)

The surname Godspeed means “good wishes, specifically to someone who is beginning a journey.”

If I remember correctly, one of the two keywords describing Fenrir is “lucky star” or something along those lines. So a word meaning wishing someone good luck before starting a journey fits perfectly with Fenrir’s luckiness trait.

Seth Hyde:

The name Seth means “appointed.”

If you think about how the Magic Tower purposefully stationed him in the Black Army, then the whole “appointed” thing makes sense.

Also, this could refer to Set, the Egyptian god, who is known as the god of chaos, and he’s commonly associated with evilness. I guess that Seth’s connection to the Magic Tower and all the “work” he has done for them makes him “evil” as well, so maybe the game creators decided to name him after Set to hint at his true associations.

The surname Hyde means “someone living on a hide (which is a type of measurement) of land.”

As with Fenrir’s name from above, this doesn’t really make any sense, so I interpreted this name as originating from “Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” instead. So, if you didn’t know, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are different egos in the same person, and Mr. Hyde is supposed to be the “evil” one.

(Cybird’s really playing it up with the “evil” theme in Seth’s name geez...)

I suppose this can point towards how Seth is a different person inside than what he’s like on the outside. The “outside Seth,” who is outgoing and friendly, corresponds with the good-natured Dr. Jekyll, while the “inside Seth,” who is cunning and devious, corresponds with the ruthlessness of Mr. Hyde.

Part 2 here.

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kommetz · 2 years ago

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I wonder why I thought to ask everyone for advice about asking her out. I think lately I’m not holding in my feelings as much anymore.

also i will die if i don’t talk about flower symbolism so…

(sorry about the red video bar i am Bad with computers)

Red roses - love

Specifically, red roses symbolize romantic love. From day one, Tsubomi has been the apple of his eye. She’s the catalyst for Mob’s grow and is (plot-wise) considered the “end game” of his character development.

Pink tulips - love, affection, good wishes

Unlike red, which is reserved for romantic love, pink flowers can symbolize love for friends and family as well as romantic partners. Although they’re a little more ambiguous, they represent positive feelings like joy and affection towards others.

As a side note, yellow tulips in particular are symbols of friendships so think if that what you will.

White lilies - purity, innocence, rebirth

White lilies are one of the most popular funeral flowers. In general, white flowers often have connotations of purity or innocence. Mob’s desire to confess to Tsubomi has been a strong motivating factor in his youth. This event symbolizes the “death” of Mob’s innocence, though this isn’t necessarily a bad thing (though all things considered the short term ramifications aren’t exactly great). For something to go through a rebirth, it must first die. This marks an end to one chapter in Mob’s life and opens another.

Marigolds* - strength, jealousy

A flower with very opposite meanings! Considering that this is both a display of Mob’s power (his strength) and his hatred of it/his jealousy of people without psychic powers, both meanings can apply here.

Buttercups - happiness, youth

Buttercups are associated with children and their youthful joy. Similar to innocence with the lilies, this is a sign of Mob’s development throughout the story. Through blood, sweat, tears, and emotional turmoil, he’s grown up. That’s the very core of the story: growing and learning how to become a more whole person through both the people around you and your own willpower.

Buttercups are also poisonous, although their symbolic meanings are pretty much all positive. Mob earns the nickname “White T-Shirt Poison,” which I seriously doubt has an actual connection, but is a fun coincidence.

Sunflowers - happiness, loyalty, admiration, honesty/truth

[ Spoiler warning for anime-onlys. This will probably come up in the anime in a few days tbh, but just in case. ]

It’s right in the name with sunflowers. They turn their faces to sun, which is the root of many of its symbolic meanings. In one way, this is comparable to always looking on the bright-side or being optimistic/happy. Another interpretation is looking to the light in the same way you “shed light” on something. They open their eyes, turn away from the dark shadow of denial and instead face the painfully bright truth.

In the manga, after Mob’s explosion and the appearance of ???%, the sunflower in the bouquet becomes a reoccurring focal point during each confrontation between Mob and the people he’s met on his journey. On the left, Teru bares his gratitude and admiration for what Mob has taught him. In the middle, Ritsu admits that he’s always been scared of his brother’s power and that it’s taken him until now to let go of that fear. Each time Mob insists that “this isn’t him,” that he wants to stop, that this power of his is a separate entity. He can’t accept himself.

On the left, Reigen finally tells Mob the truth about not being an actual psychic. However, instead of being apart of the confrontation, we get this panel:

The bouquet rips apart, his childhood and innocence flying away in the wind. All that is left is a single sunflower:

He is ???%. ???% is him.

He accepts himself, his truth.

* i’m not 100% sure, but the small orange flowers look like marigolds to me. i also considered begonias and chrysanthemums, but ultimately thought marigolds fit the best.

#comet draws #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #i am going to throw up i’ve never wanted to see something animated more in my entire life than these next two episodes #i am so ready #<- is not ready

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yumeyooa · 3 years ago

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bippity-boppity bloom: act one | todoroki shoto

—everyone knows the story of cinderella, saved by a prince and a glass slipper. but what if the true hero wasn’t the prince, but rather the fairy god mother? todoroki shoto has been suffering under the hands of his wicked family his whole life, yet everything changes when he meets you: a fairy forced to take care of him as punishment. will the odds be in your favor? or will everything go down from here on out?

➢ pairing: todoroki shoto x female! reader

➢ word count: 15.2k+

➢ love letter: henlo!! i am late but this is for @milktyama ‘s once upon an alternative universe collab!! originally this was supposed to be a one-shot, but i eventually realized that it would be better if this was split into two! although most of the romance comes in the second part T_T i hope you like it and let me know what you think!!

➢ taglist (send an ask to be tagged): @loveinhaikyuu @mirakeul @strcwberrieswine @kunaigirlx44 @maxzinn @faewraithsworld

navigation | anime masterlist | act two

Magic was a curious thing.

Since the dawn of time, people have used magic to describe the unknown, to give meaning to the things they could not explain. That quarter you lost suddenly showing up at your feet? Magic. An electric jolt shooting through your veins after coming into contact with another? Magic. Flowers blooming amidst the cold winter? Magic.

No matter where you went or what you did, magic was everywhere. It hid itself from the world, waiting in silence for those who would come to know the beauty of it. Those who would cherish it with all their heart and soul and would never abuse it for their own selfish gain.

To the rest of the world, magic was something they could only wish to find.

But the true secret of magic remained hidden in the arms of those who could wield it.

“Don’t tell me you’re pranking someone again?” An exasperated sigh calls from behind you, and you turn around, startled to find a young man with deep violet hair haphazardly framing his face. He was staring at you with an unimpressed look as if he had gone through this exact situation plenty of times in the past, and from the way you sheepishly smile back at him, he probably had.

“Me? Pranking Someone? Why I would never!” You exclaim, faking innocence as the man gives you a knowing look, causing a groan to fall from your lips as you heave a sigh, throwing a playful glare back his way.

“Oh, come on, Hitoshi!” You whine, rolling your eyes in fake annoyance. “What harm can one prank do? It’s not even that bad!”

“Must I remind you what happened that one time you decided to prank Elder Aizawa?” You freeze in your place, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “He nearly convinced the council of elders to have you banished to the human realm! Do you not understand how grave that could have been?”

You remain silent, sulking. As much as you hated to admit it, your best friend had a point. To fairies, being banished was like a death sentence. Without any support from the all-powerful tree of life, a fairy would wither away and die just like that. It was scary to even think about it, and you were lucky that Hitoshi had somehow managed to save you from that terrible predicament.

From the very beginning, you had always been considered a peculiarity amongst the other fairies. Whereas they were graceful and elegant, you were clumsy and awkward. Where they excelled in soft chatter and gentle smiles, you reveled in chaos and the undignified.

You were an outcast amongst the fairies, but you honestly couldn’t blame them.

Fairies were the keepers of magic, after all. They were expected to uphold a particular image befitting of being wielders of the most sacred entity provided by the tree of life. Fairies were supposed to be noble and delicate. They were supposed to hold their heads up high as protectors of the supernatural. That very image, however, didn’t suit you at all.

You never understood it. Why did they take pride in being so uptight? It was boring. There was no freedom in upholding the elegance of their kind through every single thing they did. They seemed so bare as if being a fairy sucked all the life out of them. Which was ironic, considering they were supposed to be protectors of the tree of life.

“—(Y/N)? Are you even listening to me? Hello?” You snap out of your trance, looking at your friend who was staring at you with a nonchalant look on his face. Hitoshi has always been a rather unique character, even to you. He didn’t explicitly fit into the stereotypical image of a fairy, yet he was never ostracized for it. It was as if he was an exception— an anomaly from the harsh judgment of the fairy realm.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” You ask, trying to come off as if you were paying attention when in all actuality, you weren’t. Hitoshi sighs, rolling his eyes playfully as he ruffles your head, messing up your hair in the process, causing a grunt of protest to fall from your lips. He sits beside you on the ledge you were perched atop on, staring down at the crowd of fairies below.

The two of you were apprentices to the council of elders, helping them ensure that there was order amongst the fairies. Order was essential for the protectors of the tree of life because, without it, chaos would ensue, and the world, no, the entire universe, would fall apart. The council of elders was the supreme government of the fairy world, and to be an apprentice to even one of them, was a great honor and responsibility.

You just hated all the expectations that came with it.

“What kind of prank were you supposed to play this time?” Hitoshi asks, humming as he stares up at the sky above you. You stare at the wand in your hand, puffing your cheeks in disappointment at the realization that you wouldn’t be able to pull the prank off anymore.

“Nothing much,” you mutter. “Just wanted to test out some new spells I learned the other day, and I figured why not test it out on some… unsuspecting figures.”

“(Y/N),” Hitoshi says, voice stern as if he were a mother reprimanding his child. You huff, pout forming on your lips. “You know that if any of the other elders were to find out, they’d have your apprenticeship stripped away. What would you do then?”

You stay silent, the truth in Hitoshi’s words stinging painfully, more than it should. He was right. Shunned away from your family since your coming of age, the council of elders was the only one who had accepted you, albeit reluctantly. No fairy wanted to be associated with an outcast after all. It would only tarnish that pure image they had crafted into perfection, and as prideful beings, they couldn’t have that.

If it wasn’t for Elder Yagi, the most influential fairy in the realm, then you would have been left for dead. Elder Yagi was the definition of the perfect fairy. He wasn’t just delicate and graceful on the surface; he was kind and compassionate within. Although many disagreed with his views on accepting those who didn’t fit into society’s expectations, they could never truly go against him. Because that would be like going against the very essence of fairies, after all.

So they kept their malice and disdain a secret, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and if you weren’t careful, then their next victim would be you.

“The elders are calling for you,” Hitoshi says out of the blue, causing your blood to run cold. You stare at him with a shocked expression on your face, and you couldn’t deny the fear that was beginning to bubble within. “Elder Aizawa sent me to look for you. Said they requested your presence immediately.”

There’s a solemn look on Hitoshi’s face, and you can tell beyond the surface that he’s worried. Being called upon by the council of elders meant only one of two things to a fairy: it was either they were to be punished, or they were to be rewarded. And you had done nothing of the sort to deserve a just reward.

You chuckle, looking down at your lap, not knowing what to say. You didn’t understand why what you did was so wrong. Why were they trying to punish you when all you wanted was to bring life into this otherwise dull place? No matter how hard they tried to hide it, some fairy children enjoyed your pranks, and the thought of bringing smiles to their faces was what kept you going.

You just didn’t expect to get severely punished for it, though.

“Thanks for telling me, Hitoshi,” you say, standing up, a fake smile plastered on your face in an attempt to seem as if his recent news didn’t bother you as much as it did. “Guess I better get going then, wouldn’t want Elder Aizawa to scold me for being late again.”

Hitoshi remains silent, staring up at you with an unreadable expression before letting out a sigh, standing up and ruffling your hair once more. “Stop putting up a brave face, idiot. It doesn’t suit you.” You want to protest but can’t find the courage to do so, remaining silent as the smile falls from your face. “Come on, I’ll accompany you there.”

Shocked, you look up at him, features clearly showing your surprise. “What?” He asks, scoffing. “You really think I wouldn’t accompany you to your death? You know that I’d kill to see it happen in front of my very eyes.”

You know he’s joking, trying to lighten up the mood because the nerves running through you are too much to handle. But even so, you’re grateful for it. Despite not being outright honest about it, Hitoshi still cared. He had cared for you ever since you called out one of the other fairies for calling him a disgrace the moment you first met. He had stuck with you through thick and thin and had been the only fairy to believe in you, aside from Elder Yagi.

And you couldn’t be any more grateful for it.

“Weirdo,” you call, a genuine smile forming on your lips, Hitoshi reflecting his own, albeit his was a lot less noticeable. You take a deep breath, trying to calm down the nerves that were thrumming deep beneath your skin, and nod to Hitoshi, the two of you teleporting just outside the auditorium of the council of elders.

You had always hated the auditorium. It was a dark and scary place, dimly lit, with all of the elders present atop a high porch, staring down at you like you were some inferior being to them. Whenever you were in the dark room, assisting the elders in their work, you always felt the paranoia creep up against you, begging you to just run and leave the room, even when there was no immediate danger present.

That was the effect the council of elders had always possessed since the beginning— intimidation. And you hated them for it.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm the raging waves of nervousness that were thrashing wildly deep inside you. You’re shaking. You can see it in the way your hands shiver as you reach out to place a knock on the wooden doors, hesitating.

“You’ll be fine,” Hitoshi whispers, a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “No matter what happens, I’ll be here, yeah?”

It’s comforting. Hitoshi isn’t one for words and prefers to show his care through subtle actions, but you know he means well. Taking another deep breath, you give your best friend a weak smile, knocking on the doors, heart heavy.

Like magic, they open, and a deep “come in” calls out to you, causing you to gulp as you nod one final time to Hitoshi before entering the auditorium, with a hopeful heart dangling on the edge of light and darkness.

The Council of Elders truly had a knack for intimidation, you think to yourself as you stare up at the seven fairies that governed the world you had come to know. They sat atop their seats (which looked more like thrones, in your opinion), staring down at you with glares on their faces.

While you had expected their hostility towards you, as you didn’t exactly have the best reputation amongst their apprentices, you were surprised that even Elder Yagi, your mentor, and father figure, was looking at you with a disappointed gaze. What was going on? What had you done wrong?

It’s then, amidst your confusion, that your eyes land on another figure present in the room. The very presence of this figure makes your blood boil in anger, and you try to suppress it with deep breaths, closing your eyes to calm yourself before meeting eyes with the said figure.

Neito. Oh, how you despised the man. Neito was one of your fellow apprentices who served the Council of Elders, specifically Elder Sekijiro, who was in charge of the vanguard— the elite force of fairies that specialized in defense, ensuring that there was peace and order in the world.

While it was an honorable position, Neito was not an honorable man in the slightest. Ever since you had met him, he had been mean and downright evil, taunting you every chance he got. He was the very reason you had gotten into trouble, multiple times, with the council. He was your mortal enemy, your archnemesis, the man you wished would fall into a puddle of shit and never come back the same.

If he was there in the room, then it only meant one thing. He had ratted you out or had made up some ridiculous story to use against you.

Typical.

Oh, how you wished you could wipe that ridiculous smirk off his face.

“(Y/N),” a voice booms and your eyes turn up to meet Grand Elder Nezu, the elder amongst all elders, the wisest and most potent fairy ever known (much to the disbelief of everyone else, as compared to Elder Yagi, Elder Nezu looked weak. But, you supposed, you shouldn’t judge someone based on appearance alone).

“I bow towards the Council of Elders,” you greet, bowing in respect. Your heart thrummed nervously within you, not sure what to think of this summon. What were they going to reprimand you for this time?

“Are you aware of the reason you’ve been summoned here today?” Grand Elder Nezu asks, looking at you with calculating eyes. You gulp, not knowing how to proceed, but figured that in a situation like this, honesty was the best policy. “Unfortunately, no, Grand Elder,” you reply, eyes cast down in respect. ��I have an idea, but even so, I am still clueless to the true reason as to why I’ve been summoned.”

“Ha!” Neito exclaims, scoffing. “Look at how shameless she is, Grand Elder. Pretending to not know when she knows exactly what she’s done?”

“I beg your pardon?” You ask, feeling yourself get annoyed the more Neito stood there all high and mighty as if he were some chosen one. “I speak the truth, elders. I truly have no idea why I’ve been summoned….”

“Lies!” Neito accuses, pointing a finger at you. “How can you be so shameless after attacking me?”

You pause, blinking slowly as you try to process the ridiculous claim Neito had just presented. You? Attacking him? As much as you despised the guy, you knew that attacking another fairy was absolutely forbidden for an apprentice of the council of elders. You weren’t stupid.

“Attacking you?” You ask in disbelief. “When have I ever attacked you, Neito?”

You watch with cautious eyes as Neito smirks at you, eyes taunting as if you had played right into his trap. He grabs the hem of his dress shirt before pulling it up to reveal a massive bruise on his torso.

“You did this,” he accuses, and you can tell he’s faking it, although judging by the harsh glare you’re receiving from Elder Sekijiro, his act is actually believable. Were the elders really that vulnerable? “You attacked me because you were jealous of my achievements!”

You gape at him, not believing your eyes at the pure monstrosity that was the situation you were facing him. What kind of story was this? There was no way that the council of elders actually believed him, right? Their view of you wasn’t that bad, right?

“(Y/N),” Grand Elder Nezu calls, eyes stern. “Is this true?”

“Of course not, Grand Elder!” You exclaim in protest. “What reason do I have to be jealous of Neito?”

“Don’t listen to her lies, Grand Elder!” Neito says. With the way he was acting, you swear he could get an award for being the worst and best actor of all time, and you yourself weren’t sure how that was possible. “In fact, the question we should be asking is what reason does she have to not be jealous of me? She’s an outcast. She’s been shunned by society for so long. Everyone knows she hates my guts— although I do not understand why as I’ve been nothing but nice to her— so why would she not want to sabotage me when she sees me excel?”

Scratch that best actor award, you think to yourself. The darn idiot deserved an award for being an expert manipulator. If you didn’t know better, if you weren’t sure of your truth, you would have been swayed by his words, second-guessing yourself and questioning whether or not you did attack him. But unluckily for Neito, you were one stubborn fairy, and you wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“You? Nice to me?” you say, seething, much to the shock of everyone in the room. “Grand Elder, what Neito is saying is absolutely preposterous! Yes, it is true that I hate his guts, but that’s because ever since I’ve been an apprentice, he’s made my life a living hell! And besides, this apprenticeship is all I have. If I do anything to jeopardize it, I would have nowhere to go; I’d basically be dead. Why would I risk it because of one person? And Neito, for that matter!”

You honestly didn’t mean to let your emotions slip like that. But you couldn’t help it. It infuriated you that the council would be willing to believe Neito. Neito who had everything, who had a choice to leave or not, who had a family to return to. Neito who didn’t understand how much pain you were going through, how much torment plagued your heart. He didn’t and would never understand. That’s what privilege does to a person.

“Grand Elder—” Neito begins, and you swear if he spits any more lies, you would genuinely launch at him and smack him in the face. But before you could make a move, the Grand Elder raises his hand, causing silence to settle in the room.

“—Enough.” Grand Elder Nezu’s voice booms throughout the empty room, causing the two of you to halt in your banter, bowing in shame and obedience. “The council has heard both sides and are appalled by the disgrace exuded by both fairies, especially you young Neito.”

You can see the way Neito clenches his fist, glaring at the ground below him, and you can almost imagine the way he thinks the floor is your head, glaring daggers at it for causing him to be criticized by the grand elder of all fairies. But that was the least of your concerns, as you can feel their disappointed glances lying on you as well.

“For your misconduct, both of you will receive punishment. However, young (Y/N), because of your alleged behavior and misdeeds, we will have to take extra precautions to ensure that this does not happen again.” You can feel your heart beating rapidly within your chest. What kind of punishment was he going to give? You hoped you weren’t going to get banished because you couldn’t stand the thought of not having to see the people you cherished ever again.

But whatever the council says, goes, and no fairy, no matter how powerful they were in society, could deny their final verdict.

“For your punishment, young Neito, you will be serving under Elder Aizawa until the Purification Ceremony next fall.” From where you stood, you could see Neito jolt up in fear, eyes pleading with the Grand Elder silently, as if he were begging them to give him any other punishment instead.

Elder Aizawa was the dean of the academy all fairies were expected to graduate from. And, as a dean should, he was incredibly strict and was known for ruling over his apprentices with an iron fist. Amongst all the elders of the council, he was the one most hoped to avoid serving under, and if you were sent to serve under him, then it meant that you had done something extremely bad.

Although, sometimes you could hardly believe those rumors, considering Hitoshi himself served under Elder Aizawa. But perhaps that was because the said elder treated Hitoshi like he was his own son, much like Elder Yagi did to you.

As much as Neito wanted to protest, to exclaim how preposterous it was for a fairy from the noble family of Monoma to not serve through the vanguard, he couldn’t. The elders’ eyes pierced through him, and it was incredibly nerve-wracking once he felt the menacing glare of Elder Sekijiro on him. Even his own master thought he deserved to be punished. What a shame.

With his head bowed low, Neito grits his teeth, bowing towards the council. “I humbly accept this punishment bestowed upon me by the Council of Elders and pledge to fulfill it until I am deemed worthy once more.” His words contain malice, and you can tell he was trying to control himself from lashing out and making the situation even worse. It was a blow to his pride, after all, that he would get punished after trying to bring someone ‘beneath’ him down.

Just as he’s about to take his leave, he stops beside you, and it almost feels as if he’s glaring at your soul, cursing it for the things you’ve done to him, although reality has proved that you’ve done nothing wrong. “Just you wait,” he whispers, low enough for only you to hear. “I’ll get you back someday,” and then he leaves, closing the wooden doors shut behind him.

The silence that envelopes the auditorium is uncanny, you think to yourself. Maybe it was because you were still getting the chills from the words Neito had whispered into your ear. Or perhaps it was because of the unreadable yet at the same time uncomfortable stares the council was throwing your way. Either way, the silence made you want to drown. To hide in the comforts of your room and stay there until the coast was clear.

“Young (Y/N),” Grand Elder Nezu begins, and you gulp, hoping for the best yet expecting the worst. “As for your punishment, you will be reassigned to another group of apprentice fairies under my guidance— the god fairies.”

What?

...God Fairies?

Grand Elder Nezu smiles softly at the look on your face before clearing his throat and continuing, trusting that you would be able to keep up with him. In his eyes, you were a rather intelligent fairy after all. Strange, but brilliant nonetheless.

“The God Fairies are a special elite force of apprentices under my supervision. It’s composed of fairies deemed problematic by the standards of our society and utilizes their uniqueness to serve our realm for the better good.”

You wanted to scoff. Rather than an elite force, it sounded like a group of slaves forced to listen to the Grand Elder, with an even more severe punishment dangling above their heads. A suiting sentence disguised as an honor.

“I know what you’re thinking, young (Y/N),” Grand Elder Nezu says with a knowing look. “However, this elite force is infinitely more important than any other group in the fairy realm, as they help sustain our influence over the humans.”

Confused, you look up to him, a million questions dancing within your eyes. Influence over humans? What exactly did he mean by that? Back at the academy, the older fairies had always taught you that humans and fairies never, under any circumstance, interacted with each other. It was forbidden. Interacting with humans was too dangerous as they were greedy and vile beings who would only seize magic for their own selfish gain should they even catch one whiff of it.

Magic was not meant to fall into human hands. That was just the way the world worked. So why was the Grand Elder telling you otherwise?

“The God Fairies help ensure that the humans’ belief in magic remains strong,” Grand Elder Nezu continues, even though you were still trying to comprehend what he had said prior. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time. Being the Grand Elder had numerous responsibilities involved, and those responsibilities waited for no one, not even him.

“You see, young (Y/N), as the years have passed, we, the council, have come across an alarming discovery,” you look up to the council tentatively, choosing to merely listen as trying to process their words in real time was proving to be complicated. “The tree of life that we have grown to cherish for over a millennium has weakened.”

A soft gasp leaves your lips, and rightfully so. The tree of life was the lifeline of the fairies. It was literally their world, giving life to everything they had ever come to know. The tree of life was what made fairies, fairies, providing them with their gorgeous translucent wings and copious amount of magic to have every other supernatural being out there jealous.

If it were to weaken and somehow die, then that would mean the end of the fairies. And that was a thought even more terrifying than the prospect of banishment.

“Fear not, young (Y/N),” This time, Elder Yagi decides to speak up, sensing the inherent panic and fear in your eyes. Elder Yagi always had a knack for reading your emotions, much like Hitoshi. Sometimes you wondered if that chalked up to you wearing your heart on your sleeve for everyone else to easily trample over, but that hadn’t been the case the more you got to know Elder Yagi and Hitoshi.

They both took your heart within their arms and cherished it like it was their own, even if the way they showed that care differed and was sometimes unnoticeable. Elder Yagi’s words, masked by his usual patriotic smile, were his way of comforting you when the going got rough. And for that, you would forever be thankful.

“We’ve discovered a new way to harness the magic we fairies so desperately need,” Elder Yagi continues, his smile never leaving. “And that solution lies in the humans.”

The moment the word human leaves Elder Yagi’s mouth, Elder Aizawa sneers in disgust, rolling his eyes, and from the opposite side of him, you can see Elder Sekijiro do the same. It wasn’t something new. After all, with the divide and disdain of the fairies towards fellow fae who wouldn’t live up to their noble standards, their disgust was only further amplified with the knowledge that other inferior beings, such as humans, existed. Even with their inferiority, they were beginning to push the fairies to the brink of a calamity with how much they were destroying the order of nature.

So you understood that there was an even greater prejudice towards humans, and you could feel nothing but sympathy and agony, knowing precisely what it feels like to be on the receiving end of such animosity.

“The humans,” Elder Yagi continues, not paying much mind to the disheartened expressions on his fellow elders’ (with the exception of the Grand Elder) faces. “Surprisingly, have an innate source of magic within them, much different from our own.”

Confused, you look up at the kind elder, allowing yourself to show a little emotion with the way he looks down kindly at you as if he were a father talking towards his child. Elder Yagi had always guided you when you felt lost amidst the noble fairies that served under the council and was more than happy to help you with whatever you needed.

Yet, currently, Elder Yagi was the main source of your confusion.

“When a human begins to believe in the supernatural, their innate magic ability awakens and pours out of them like waves, and when they sustain that belief? That innate magic becomes stronger.” It’s a revolutionary discovery, in your eyes. Humans had always been thought of as useless. But more than that, the council had constantly reminded the fairies to stray away from them, as no one knows what hidden malice the humans could have, despite the disbelief of your fellow fae.

“This is why we have formed the God Fairies, to ensure that the humans’ magic will be sustained and harnessed for our survival.” Elder Yagi looks at you, and you feel yourself flinch at the serious glance on his face, something that you knew wasn’t usual for the strong fairy. “Do you understand, young (Y/N)?”

The only thing you have the courage to do at the moment is nod, not trusting the thoughts that were lit ablaze in your mind, chaotic and unhinged. You knew that if you were to speak, your words would have most likely enraged the council as you currently had no control over them.

“Good.” Grand Elder Nezu says after a few moments of silence. “In line with this, we will be assigning you, young (Y/N), to a human. Your punishment, or in this case, mission is to ensure that you’ve collected enough magic to sustain a family of fairies the same size as Young Neito’s.”

Your eyes widen, and you divert your attention towards Elder Yagi, begging him to say that the Grand Elder’s words were not true. But when you see Elder Aizawa sport a sinister grin from the corner of your eye, you feel your heart sink. As much as you hated Neito, he was a powerful fairy who came from a highly influential family within the realm. It was the reason why he was in the vanguard. After all, his family’s influence has been his threshold throughout the days you knew each other.

And for a family as prominent in magical combat as his, they needed copious amounts of magic. An amount that you were sure couldn’t be collected by one fairy. In fact, the powerful fairies of the realm often sourced their innate magic directly from the elders themselves, a privilege that not many were able to enjoy.

This was a punishment, after all. Great. Just Great.

“I understand, Grand Elder,” you say after finally composing yourself. You can feel the dread gradually sink in, and your mind races with worry at the thought of having to go through the daunting task. “I will do as you desire. For the glory of the fae.”

You can sense the satisfied yet cunning smiles of the council, pleased with your decision, and you heave a sigh, unsure of what the future could have in store.

You could only hope that you wouldn’t be screwed over in the process.

The human realm was fascinating, to say the least.

When you first stepped foot on the lush forest of the realm, just on the outskirts of a bustling city, you couldn’t help but feel amazed. No amount of preparation from the elders or your friends could truly prepare you for this moment.

For the past few weeks, Grand Elder Nezu and Elder Yagi had been preparing you extensively for this mission. They briefed you on the does and don’ts of a fairy entering the human realm, bragged about other god fairies who had succeeded in securing a sustainable amount of magic for the fairies, and just boasted.

There was no comfort nor reassurance from either elder, which you had expected from Elder Yagi, but as you had come to find out, it seemed as if your father figure was still disappointed in you, causing your heart to sink. Did he really believe that you deserved to be punished?

You couldn’t even get this heavy feeling out of your chest. The worst part is that you couldn’t consult your best friend, Hitoshi, at all about this matter. Hitoshi had no knowledge of the god fairies as he had been a devout apprentice under Elder Aizawa’s care. He had no reason to know about it, he was already doing great, and that thought made your stomach churn.

You desperately wanted to confide in him, to spill your fears and anxieties for him to hear. No matter how insufferable Hitoshi was, he was a great listener and a great friend.

Gosh, you haven’t even spent one second in the Human Realm, and you were already feeling sick to your core.

At least the view made it better.

The council of elders had decided to assign you to a human living in the Musutafu Empire, nestled in the far east of the mortal realm. The Empire was drastically different from your own simple abode back in the fairy realm. Whereas yours was deeply rooted in nature, theirs was thriving on industrial roots.

You couldn’t explain it, but the way they structured their buildings and houses was beautiful. It was a whole different style from what you were used to back home, with high walls and rowdy streets. The people were smiling, clad in clothing that was tight yet loose at the same time, with a ribbon wrapped securely around their waists. Far different from the flowy garments that you had back in the fairy realm.

As you made your way to the capital, marveling at all the new sights that were capturing your eyes, you couldn’t help but wonder what the human assigned to you was like. Would he be stuck up like all the fairies you had come to know? Or would he be kind, much like Elder Yagi and Hitoshi were? The curiosity burned deep inside you, and you found yourself brimming with excitement at the thought of meeting him.

Your mission was fairly simple if you could take away the fact that you had to harvest an impossible amount of magic. You were to watch over a selected human, who the council deemed had the potential to unlock their innate magic and help them when they most needed it.

Almost as if you were someone who granted wishes, was what Grand Elder Nezu said. Granting wishes was the most effective way to strengthen the human’s belief in magic, allowing their own to flow out for the taking. Of course, there were other ways, such as haunting the humans or causing supernatural disasters that didn’t make sense. But such methods were unbecoming of fairies, and you couldn’t help but groan at the thought.

Haunting seemed fun, after all. Almost as if you were constantly playing a prank on an unassuming human. You would have killed for that to be your punishment instead.

But no. You were stuck with granting wishes, albeit not as often, as showing too much magic mind taint the human with greed and desire. Something that no fairy wanted.

Checking on the special compass that the elders had given you prior to your journey, you make your way towards your assigned human, gaping in awe at the view of the capital down below you. Of course, with the magic you held, they wouldn’t be able to see you as you had concealed yourself prior, but you wished they could. It would have been fun to see their shell-shocked expressions. Maybe that was a more efficient way of harnessing their magic?

Or, rather than being an efficient method, it was most likely going to be a one-way ticket to banishment from the fairy realm, aka an express ride towards death, something you wanted to avoid at all costs.

Finally, after what felt like forever, you spot the house of the human the elders had assigned to you. It was big, much larger than your own humble cottage back in the fairy realm, yet, even so, it didn’t compare to the ginormous estates that lay north of the house, almost as if it belonged perfectly in the middle.

You gasped at the tranquility of the mansion, almost as if you had once again been transported into another world. It was almost as if in this home, time stopped, and peace overflowed. You perched yourself atop a sturdy branch, looking around and admiring the view.

But peace doesn’t last for long because all of a sudden, a slam rings through the air, and you watch curiously as a large man, who oddly enough looks similar to Elder Sekijiro, although that was probably a figment of your imagination, there was no way the frightening elder would actually be in the human realm, stumbles into view.

The large man looked pissed, you noticed, as he dragged something behind him, and it’s only till the large man threw whatever he was carrying harshly unto the tree you were perched on did you realize that what the man had dragged wasn’t just a thing, but rather it was a person.

You gasp, heart breaking at the sight of the young boy. From where you sat above him, you could tell that he was covered with bruises all over, with a ghastly scar covering one of his eyes. The poor boy looked so weak and frail that you wanted nothing more than to steal the boy away and tend to him until he could stand on his own two feet one more. It was cruel. Was this the doing of that man?

You look up, and it’s only then that you notice a few more children looking at the scene below you with different expressions on their faces. There were about three of them; two boys and one girl. The tallest and assumably the eldest had an unbothered look on his face as if he couldn’t care less about the poor boy who had just been thrown into a three. The second boy, with snow-white hair, sported a sadistic grin as if he were enjoying seeing the young boy in pain. And the girl? The girl, who looked so sweet and innocent, held eyes of pure disgust as she clutched her teddy bear tighter to her chest, almost as if she were glaring at the young boy.

Was this the kid’s family?

“Shoto!” The large man, whom you had deduced to be the father, screamed. You flinch at the loudness of his voice, intimidation flowing out of him in waves, causing a shiver to run down your spine. You look down, heart hurting at the sight of the young boy cowering in fear, but he still kept a brave face. Well, as much as he could do in that situation.

“You dare disobey your brother?” He continues, tone raising more and more as his fists clench. “How many times have I told you to listen to your siblings? They’re much older, stronger, and smarter than a little piece of shit like you. Heck, even Fuyumi, who’s a girl, is much more dignified than your pathetic ass!”

The more words fell from the man’s mouth, the more you wished to hex him with forbidden magic. Although doing so would only make your punishment worse. The elders were strict about black magic, after all. Anyone who even showed a little bit of interest was considered a threat and was sent to conduct punishments almost immediately. It was cruel, but you were on wit’s end because nowhere had you seen a vile man like him.

“It’s true, father!” The second sibling says, the sinister grin on his lips only growing. “I had asked Shoto nicely to help with my chores because I wanted to get more practice in for the royal knights’ examination, but he had the audacity to retaliate with the excuse that he already had chores to do.” The kid scoffs, rolling his eyes in the process. “He barely does anything in this house, yet he’s a burden to those of us who actually are? Father, he deserves punishment!”

There’s a sinking feeling in your stomach as if you were getting deja vu from this situation. The look on that kid’s face painfully reminded you of Neito, and you couldn’t help the gut feeling that made you believe that what the kid was saying was far from the truth.

“Shameful!” The father says, raising a hand to slap the young child to the side, and you gasp in horror wanting nothing more to interfere, yet the Grand Elder’s words ring harshly in your ear. There needs to be a balance. He had said. It would plunge the realms into total chaos if more than one human discovered the reality of magic simultaneously, especially those with foul intentions.

You couldn’t reveal yourself, not yet, at least. Yet, at the same time, you wanted to curse the elders back home, for they had assigned to you a child who was literally experiencing hell on earth and only gave you limited movement to help.

You watch, feeling the tears threaten to fall as the damn bastard of a father lands another punch towards his son, to the point where he begins to cough blood. Your eyes widen in horror as you hear the other children’s cheers. Why were they like this? Weren’t they family? Why were they treating one of their own like he wasn’t? He didn’t deserve this. He was only but a child!

When the father was finally finished with his rain of terror, you couldn’t help but release the breath you were holding in. Finally, it was over. But as if he couldn’t get any worse, the father towers over him, blue eyes boring into his kids. “If I see any of these bruises and wounds healed,” he whispers just enough for only Shoto to hear, but with your heightened senses, you couldn’t help but listen in. “Then you will get a beating far worse than this one. Do you understand?”

The kid nods weakly, not having the strength to communicate properly, causing the father to glare at him harder. “You are a disgrace to the Todoroki name, Shoto. Never forget that.”

And just like that, he leaves, the children following closely behind with mocking looks on their faces. The second sibling even goes so far as to spit on his youngest brother, causing you to clench your fists in anger, wanting to teach that kid a lesson. What kind of twisted personality did he have? Why was he treating his family like this? You just couldn’t understand.

When they finally leave, leaving the young kid on the rough ground, wallowing in his misery and pain, you find it in yourself to come down and take action. What action, you may ask? You weren’t quite sure yourself, but every fiber in your being was begging you to do something to help the poor child.

You kneel beside the beaten-up boy, weaving your hand through his dirtied hair. The boy looked like he hadn’t even been given an ounce of care throughout his life. How could this be? Wasn’t a family supposed to love each other? But you knew yourself that not all families were like that, only the lucky ones.

The world, no matter what realm you were in, was cruel and cold to those who didn’t fit in, to those that made them feel sick. Within your heart, you knew exactly what the young child was feeling, although only to a certain extent as it could never compare to the feeling of getting beaten up by the people you were supposed to love on a day-to-day basis.

But you too had been abandoned, you too had been ridiculed, and you knew how much that pain could carry through the rest of one’s life. The pain never truly goes away. It would only get buried, waiting for the moment it could come back to life. And if that pain was prolonged? Then that would only make things worse.

So you decided, with a firm grip on your heart, that until you had to leave, you would be there for this child. More than punishment, more than a duty you had to fulfill, you would be there for him until the very end.

That was a promise.

Todoroki Shoto had never known love.

For as long as he could remember, ever since the day he was born, his family had hated him. For what reason? He couldn’t quite comprehend, but now that he was a bit older, he understood to some extent.

His birth had caused his mother to die.

It was something that his family reminded him of every day. Whenever his brother, Natsuo, forced him to do his share of chores, he would always add in a snarky remark saying how it was the least he could do since he took his mother away from him. It hurt, but he couldn’t argue. It was the truth, after all. Him being born into the world had caused their own mother to leave it. It was only natural for his family to hate him.

From what he had heard, his mother was a very kind woman. With the same snow-white hair that covered half of his head, Todoroki Rei was known to be an angel. She was kind, always selflessly showing her love, and in turn, everyone loved her for it. She was the life of the party, even though she was frail, and never failed to make everyone around her smile. She was what one would consider the embodiment of good.

And Shoto had taken her away from them.

Everyone in the Todoroki household hated him, even the servants. How dare a useless child like him take away their mistress? How dare he live on as if nothing was wrong when he was the very reason that the light of the Todoroki household dimmed out. He was a despicable child in the eyes of everyone else, one that never deserved love.

So they fed him moldy bread and spoiled milk, rotten fruits, and water that was clearly full of filth. They wanted him to die, to pay for taking their mistress away from them. And no one in his family ever stood up for him.

His eldest brother Touya never even spoke to him. It was as if he was actively trying to ignore the kid. Whenever Shoto went up to talk to his brother, he would simply pass him by as if Shoto didn’t even exist. Yet whenever Shoto would catch peeks of the family eating a nice supper over the dinner table, his brother was actively engaging in conversation, causing an arrow to go through his heart at the realization that Touya truly did intend to ignore him.

His second brother, Natsuo, was no better. The only difference was that he actively tried to make Shoto’s life a living hell more than it already was. Natsuo took all his anger and grief out on the young child with snarky remarks and condescending tones. There was even a slap on the cheek every now and then, to which he would complain that it was Shoto who assaulted him, even though it was far from the truth. And everyone would believe him. Because who would believe the words of a child whose birth meant the death of another?

Then there was Fuyumi, his only sister. She sported that same gentle nature as his mother, according to the house servants, yet to Shoto, she was a wicked and cruel child. She was petty, treating Shoto as if he were a slave. When her favorite tea was too hot for her liking, she spilled the scalding hot drink all over him, soon after berating and slapping him for letting the said liquid fall onto her plush carpet. It made no sense, but Shoto could never complain. Fuyumi was the darling of the family, after all.

But his father? He was the worst of them all.

Todoroki Enji was a curious man, to say the least. As one of the leading figures of the oldest families of the Musutafu Empire, his very presence brought tremendous waves of awe among the masses. The Todoroki family was one of the most revered families in the whole empire, and everyone had always looked up to them, seeing them as the perfect family.

But Todoroki Enji had taken that image of perfection into heart, and it showed through the things he did behind closed doors. Rei’s death hit him the hardest, not because he was heartbroken that his other half died, but rather it was because that image of perfection had been broken into pieces, and he loathed it. He hated the pitiful gazes of the masses, as they stared at him as if he wasn’t the perfect being they needed him to be. It enraged him to no end. And the only outlet of this burning rage was the cause of all this brokenness, his own son.

Everything Shoto did angered him. Even taking a breath angered him. Every action, look, and word that came from the young child infuriated the head of the house, and he couldn’t help but take it out on him. Treating Shoto like he wasn’t a child but rather an enemy on the battlefield. Every day he would ruthlessly beat Shoto up until he felt satisfied, leaving Shoto battered and bruised with no chance of recovery. It was terrible, something anyone with a heart would hate, yet all those who resided in the Todoroki Mansion thrived on his misery.

So yeah, all his life, Todoroki Shoto had never known love.

But when he feels a hand gently caress his face, brushing his dirtied hair off of his face and running a thumb over his bruising cheek, he wonders if maybe this was it. Whoever was touching him had such a gentle and soft touch, a touch that he’s never felt before in his life. It was warm, far different from the cold caresses of his family. He wanted nothing more than to stay in the comfort of this warmth. But what if this was just a figment of his imagination?

He opens his eyes slowly, bearing through the pain and heaviness that came with it, and his gaze meets yours, and he’s blown away.

Your eyes look at him with sincere kindness, one that Shoto has never seen before in his life. He’s only been alive for a few years or so, and he can tell that this was what was right. Not his family, not the servants treating him with extreme hostility. No, you, a stranger he had never seen in his entire life, was already treating him way better than the whole world would ever treat him. And it had only been a few seconds since his eyes met yours.

“W-who…” he stutters, blinking wearily as if he wanted to get a closer look, but you shush him with gentle whispers, continuing to weave your hands through his dual-colored hair that looked stunning under the sunlight, even if it was smeared to no end.

“Shh, don’t speak, child,” you say, motherly instincts that you were unaware of surfacing. “You are injured. Speaking will only make it worse.”

Shoto nods, staying silent as you continue to run your fingers through his hair. Suddenly a surge of warmth rushes through his body, and he watches amazed as the pain from his father’s beating slowly goes away, even if the bruises didn’t disappear.

“There, that should do the trick!” You say, smiling brightly and voice cheery in an attempt to console the young child. Shoto slowly sits up from where he laid on the hard ground, looking at his hands in awe. How did you do that? How did you make all the pain disappear?

“I apologize,” you say, looking sheepishly at Shoto once you noticed he was staring at his arms in awe. “Your father mentioned that he would hurt you even more if your injuries are healed, so I’m only able to make the physical pain go away, but the wounds remain. I hope that’s alright.”

It’s more than alright, Shoto thinks to himself as he looks at you in awe. Shoto had never felt this alive before. It was as if his energy was restored and multiplied as if the numbness that had accumulated from the years of beating had vanished without a trace.

“Thank you,” he finally says, not having the courage to spill his heart out in fear that you would take his feelings and crush them in the blink of an eye. If Shoto were to be honest, if anyone else aside from the people he had come to know were to berate him more than he already was on a daily basis, then he would truly crumble.

“But… who are you?” He asks, finally coming to his senses. “Why are you here? It’s dangerous. If father finds out, then you—”

“—Do not worry child, I will be fine.” You’re doing better than expected despite the rapid beating of your heart from how nervous you were. You really hated this motherly image you were exuding, wanting nothing more than to be as carefree as you usually were, but first impressions were important, and you had to time things just right.

You smile, looking at Shoto with the kindest gaze you could muster, patting him gently on the head in the process.

“I’m your fairy godmother, after all.”

“F-fairy g-godmother?” Shoto asks, clearly confused. You giggle at his perplexed expression, amused. It was fascinating how the child still seemed to be as innocent despite the harsh realities he had been through. He was a strong human, you supposed. And quite an adorable one too.

“Yes, child,” you say once more, standing up and bringing Shoto up with you, although he stumbles, legs weak from being on the ground for too long, but you’re quick to catch him, giggling once more at the flustered expression on his face.

“I’m your fairy godmother,” you repeat, lines poised and precise like you had been trained to from the Grand Elder. “And as your fairy godmother, I’ll be here to make sure that your pain will be more bearable until you can fly free on your own.”

“Fly?” The young child asks excitedly, eyes beaming. “Will I be able to fly someday?”

“Not in the literal sense, child.” You giggle, the tiny human bringing the weight of the world off your shoulders. It was refreshing to interact with him. Perhaps this was why parents decide to have children. They were oh so loveable when they were young. You could only hope that the pureness of his heart wouldn’t be tainted even further by the harsh reality of his family’s disdain.

“But you’ll understand what I mean very soon,” you say, kneeling down towards his level. “And until then, I’ll be your wings, alright?”

It’s clear that Shoto doesn’t understand a word you’re saying, but that’s alright. He doesn’t need to understand at the moment. He just needs to believe. And from the pure amazement and wonder in his eyes, it looks as if he’s already on a one-way track towards it.

“Now, child, before I send you off, you must remember something very important.” You say, tone a bit sterner as Shoto gulps, nodding his head and turning his full attention towards you. His concerned and slightly worried look on his face makes you want to break your facade and laugh along with him. But this truly was an important matter, and if you didn’t drill it into his brain, then your mission would have been all for naught.

“Under no circumstance, must you tell of my existence to another soul, do you understand?” There’s uncertainty in the child’s gaze as if he doesn’t truly understand the weight of your words, but he nods nonetheless, agreeing. “Not your father,” you continue, hoping to make your point a bit clearer. “Nor your siblings, nor any stranger that you come across. You can’t reveal my existence to anyone, understand? This is a secret between you and me. Can you keep it?”

A beat of silence passes the two of you as Shoto lets the words sink in. He truly doesn’t understand why he can’t tell anyone else about you. It didn’t make sense to him. Weren’t you supposed to make his pain more bearable? Then why couldn’t you do that in the form of mending his relationship with his family? It saddened Shoto because in the few moments you had spent together, in those few minutes he got to know you, Shoto already considered you a friend. His first friend, in fact.

Why couldn’t he show you off?

Maybe it had to do with the fact that you, too, would get punished by his father if he were to reveal your existence. His father was a terrifying man. If he wanted something, then he would get it, no matter how difficult it was to obtain. His father held himself in high regard. And anyone who didn’t fit his standards was considered worthless and useless. If he were to find out that you were associated with him, the failure of the family, then who knows what his father would do to you?

He wouldn’t allow that. He couldn’t allow that. You were the first person to show him kindness, and he couldn’t just let you slip away. That would break him to the point of no return.

“Sure,” Shoto mumbles shyly, a bashful smile forming on his lips. If you didn’t know any better, you wouldn’t have guessed that this child was frequently beaten up by his family, much less hated by them. He seemed like a great kid, who needed a friend to stand by him, and although Grand Elder Nezu and Elder Yagi had strictly advised you against being too attached to your assigned human, you couldn’t help it.

Who were you to ignore such a loveable child?

You smile, the sternness gradually leaving your face, and raise your hand towards him, pinky pointing out. “Promise?” Shoto looks at you before his eyes dart to your outstretched finger, bewildered and unsure.

“This is a pinky promise,” you say, realizing that he didn’t understand what you were trying to do. “When we link our pinkies together like this,” you continue, intertwining your pinky with his and locking them together. “Then that means our promise is sealed in stone and can never ever be broken.”

You give Shoto a small smile, your other hand reaching out to pat his head gently, while Shoto looks at your intertwined pinkies in awe and admiration.

In his haze, you finally stand up, your heightened senses hearing angered footsteps approaching, and you look worriedly at Shoto, hesitant to leave.

“I have to go now,” you say, heartbreaking at the way his expression falls from his face, replaced with a disappointed one.

“But don’t worry, I’ll be back.” You’re quick to reassure him, waving your hands frantically as you give off a sheepish smile. “I’ll be back when you need me the most,” you clarify, panic rushing in as the hurried footsteps become louder.

“Promise?” Shoto asks, stretching out his own pinky to you, reflecting what you had just taught him. This catches you by surprise, but you’re quick to smile, intertwining your pinkies once more.

“I promise,” you genuinely whisper, watching with mirth in your heart as Shoto looks up at you with a warm smile of his own, eyes looking at you tenderly as if he were sending you off.

And just like that, you vanish, much to Shoto’s shock, as the sliding door behind him slams open, and a servant comes out storming towards him angrily. But honestly, Shoto couldn’t care less.

Even as the servant berated him and dragged him harshly back into the mansion, Shoto couldn’t help but feel all warm and giddy inside. He had made his first friend.

And that was more than anything he could ever ask for.

Ever since your first meeting with Shoto, you had begun to grow closer towards the abused child, feeling a connection start to grow.

Of course, you didn’t show yourself to him as often as you wanted to, as you had your own limitations. Because as the council had told you before your departure, they were watching. And that was a frightening thought to ever take for granted.

It was too risky to put your personal desires over your duty at the forefront, so you had to work your way around the rules laid down by the Grand Elder. You had to be sharp, had to show your support and friendship in other more mundane ways so Shoto would continue to believe.

You were still a fairy on a mission, after all.

Harnessing magic wasn’t a one-time thing. If it were, then the council would have easily done it by now. The truth of the matter was that cultivating the magic out of humans required time, effort, and care— a feat that was far too tedious for the council to partake in, which was why it was up to the God fairies to carry it out.

As the relationship between a god fairy and their assigned human continued to grow, so would the amount of magic present within the human. Once it got to its breaking point, then the god fairy would immediately harness it, marking the end of their relationship and causing the human to never believe in magic again.

It was a cruel process but one you couldn’t avoid as it meant your life or death. But the more time you spend with Shoto, the more your resolve seems to break, and you begin to question whether or not you could actually pull through with what you were meant to do.

The door slides open, snapping you away from your train of thought, and in walks Shoto, a new bruise forming over his right eye.

Even if you couldn’t show yourself on a daily basis, you still made your presence known to Shoto through small acts of magic, ones that wouldn’t be considered overboard by the Grand Elder. You would have followed Shoto everywhere he went, watching his every move and ensuring that he was safe, but in a way, it made you uncomfortable.

And you couldn’t stand seeing the way his family and servants treated him. It was too cruel. You were sure that if you spent any second longer seeing his siblings ridicule him or his father punch him, then you would lose control. And everything that you had worked desperately for would have gone to waste, which was why you distanced yourself from the young child whenever he was around others. You knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t help it. It was for the best; you tried to convince yourself. You were doing the right thing.

But that didn’t mean you didn’t help him at all. As Shoto quickly makes his way to his worn-out futon, wincing in pain at all the bruises his father had given him from the day’s beating, you couldn’t help but fuss over him, immediately reaching out to take the pain away in your invisible state, external wounds remaining.

“Fairy Godmother?” Shoto calls out weakly, feeling the pain leave him gradually as warmth replaces it. His eyes feel lighter, and he finally works the courage to open them fully, only to be met with his dark room. You were still invisible. You hadn’t shown yourself just yet. “Are you there?”

You wanted to respond. You desperately do. But the weight of your duty weighs heavy on your shoulders, and you hesitate, unsure whether or not you would reach out to him. You two were close, that was for sure. Throughout the few months of your ‘friendship’ with Shoto (if you could call it that), you had come to know just how precious the child truly was. Even after all the hardships and suffering that overcame him, he was still bright and innocent, something you never entirely understood, but you supposed that was what made Shoto… Shoto.

“Fairy Godmother?” Shoto calls out again, this time a little more desperate. His eyes dart around, trying to find you, but you were nowhere to be seen. All he wanted was to see you again. Sure, you had in some way, shape, and form always made your presence known through your kind acts, but it didn’t feel complete. It was as if Shoto was talking to a ghost, and he didn’t want that. He wanted to speak to his friend, the one person who made him see the light in what seemed like a never-ending darkness.

“Please,” he whispers like a prayer, hoping that you would show yourself. “Are you there?”

You couldn’t take it. This was torture to you. You knew you would get reprimanded either way, but as a fairy tasked with the responsibility of taking care of this child, you had to do it. He was practically crying out at this point. What kind of soul wouldn’t help him?

“I am here, Shoto,” you say, finally revealing yourself, and you feel yourself wince at the tears of relief that slip past the young child’s eyes. “I am here.”

Almost immediately, Shoto lunges at you, wrapping you in the tightest embrace he could muster. Was this real? He thought to himself. Were you actually here? This wasn’t a dream, right? What if you left him for good? He didn’t think his heart could handle that.

“You’re here!” He whispers, nuzzling into your stomach, giggling. “You’re actually here!” How could a child be so precious? You wonder to yourself. He was so innocent and pure. Why was his family hurting him like he wasn’t? From the time you had come to know Shoto, you could tell that he was a kind soul. He didn’t deserve any of the pain inflicted by his family. He deserved nothing but love and happiness. You just wished you had the authority to give it to him.

But alas, even with your freedom came chains that sought to bind you to the harsh realities of the world.

“Yes, I am, Shoto,” you giggle, running your hand soothingly through his hair, knowing how much comfort it brought the young child. “What is it that you need?”

“Nothing really,” Shoto replies after a while, merely basking in your warmth for as long as he could. “I just wanted to see you again.”

If Shoto were, to be honest, he was afraid that you were merely a product of his own imagination. His family often mocked him for it, calling him delusional in every way they could. Delusional for thinking he was loved; Delusional for thinking he deserved to be loved, and more so delusional for thinking that he could actually receive love from his family.

He was raised to believe that in one way or another, he was delusional, so somewhere deep down inside him, he thought that maybe you were a product of his delusions too.

But here you were, smiling down at him with such tenderness and care that Shoto knew you were anything but a delusion. He smiles brightly, the pain from earlier slowly melting away in your presence, and he drags you with his little hands towards his small, worn-out mattress, encouraging you to sit.

You follow him, eyes frowning at the state of his mattress. This was no way to treat a human being. Even back in the fairy realm, although it was clear that many were not fond of you, they still gave you common courtesy and respect as any other living being should. What Shoto’s family was doing to him was horrible, and you wish you could bring him out of it.

“Could you tell me a story?” Shoto asks out of the blue, causing your eyes to widen in surprise. “A story?” You repeat, unsure if you heard him correctly. Shoto nods, moving to lift a part of his mattress off the ground to reveal a hidden pile of storybooks that you never knew existed.

“My father doesn’t let me read,” he whispers, fingers darting over the dusty covers. “Says I’m not worthy of it.” Your hands clenched into fists beside you as you tried not to let your anger show, but Shoto could feel it slowly dripping off you in waves. “It’s fine, though,” he says, trying to reassure you that he wasn’t as affected by it as he truly was. “I’m used to it….”

A beat of silence passes the two of you as you look at the solemn gaze on Shoto’s face as he continues to run his fingers through the cover of the worn book longingly. With a sigh, you gently take Shoto into your arms, catching the young boy by surprise.

“You don’t have to hide in front of me, you know?” You say, seemingly scolding the child, but your tone was light, a small smile making its way to your face. “Friends don’t hide things from each other.”

From where he sat in your lap, Shoto looks at you with a bewildered gaze on his face, as if he were mesmerized. You simply smile at him, taking the book gently from his arms and opening it to the first page.

“I’ll help you learn how to read,” you say, finally clearing up your actions. “Isn’t that what you truly want?”

Shoto doesn’t say anything, but you can tell from the tears that are about to fall from his eyes that this was indeed his genuine desire. It pained you. Reading was something many took for granted, but as you see the absolute joy on Shoto’s face as he brought his attention back to the book in excitement, you realize that this was a gift.

You had the power to help this child beyond magic. And that was something you would use to your advantage, no matter the consequence.

You just wished that you would have done a better job at keeping it lowkey. Because as you guide Shoto in reading the story he had picked for the night, You don’t notice the gap between his door and the wall, a result of Shoto not closing the door properly from his weakened state and as a result, a young girl was standing on the opposite side of the door, eyes widened in horror and disgust at the sight she was seeing.

This wasn’t going to go well.

The next few days, Shoto honestly felt like he was in bliss.

No matter how horribly his family and servants treated him, nothing could shake the happiness he felt within his heart. Perhaps it was amplified by the fact his father had left the mansion for a few days to attend to his duties in the royal palace. Although he still had to face harsh treatments from his siblings and the other servants, at least the beatings became scarce.

His family was much too cowardly to carry out the same severe beatings his father gave. Which meant that he could enjoy his time with you even more than he should.

He had just finished his chores, ones that the servants were supposed to do, but in their vanity, they forced him to do it, going beyond their status as mere servants and dropping all their responsibilities as a child, sporting faux innocence whenever Shoto had tried to bring it up to his family.

But when he did, his father only got angry, beating him for lying about such matters, insinuating how he was insulting him because it was Enji who handpicked those servants, meaning an insult to them was an insult to his father.

So Shoto learned to take everything in a stride. To just do whatever the servants wanted him to do otherwise, he would get an even more severe beating from his father, and he wanted to avoid that at all costs.

But that fear was a thing of the past, as at the moment, Shoto was happily skipping towards his room, excitedly thinking of what story his fairy godmother would teach him about today.

Truly, like her title, Shoto’s fairy godmother was a blessing sent from the heavens. She was kind, patient, and never berated Shoto for any mistake he made. She would never do that to him, she told him one day when he had asked. It was just too cruel.

So this was what kindness really felt like, Shoto realized once the words slipped from her mouth. Growing up, Shoto was taught that his family’s actions were one of kindness, with insults such as ‘you should be grateful father was kind enough to keep you in this house when you should have been thrown out into the street already.’ being thrown at him left and right.

He had always hated kindness because of that. His family’s kindness made him feel sick, made him want to curl up into a hole and die, yet his fairy godmother had shown him the light. His fairy godmother had shown him that kindness wasn’t supposed to make you feel horrible. It was supposed to make you happy. It was supposed to fill your heart with love and affection that you wanted to give back tenfold.

What his family was doing to him wasn’t kindness at all.

Even more so when he stopped in front of his room, confused to hear a commotion inside. His gut feeling told him to run away, to hide, and never show himself again. But he couldn’t. His room was his safe haven, the only place where he could truly escape from his harsh reality, and if something ever happened to it, then Shoto wouldn’t know what to do.

He hastily opens the door only to feel his blood run cold. There standing in his room were his father, Enji, and his sister, Fuyumi. The moment they heard the door open, his sister turned to him, fake tears in her eyes, ones that Shoto knew everyone believed. Because in their eyes, Shoto’s sister was innocent, even though he knew that she was a devil in disguise.

“There he is, father!” Fuyumi exclaimed, pointing towards him accusingly. “The thief!”

Thief? Shoto wondered to himself. Why was he a thief? As far as he knew, he hadn’t stolen anything from anyone, much less his sister. Why would she accuse him of being a thief?

But he didn’t get the chance to ponder on it deeply, with his father turning towards him with deep rage lacing his eyes. Why was his father here in the first place? Wasn’t he supposed to stay in the palace for a few more days?

“You imbecile!” His father rages, stomping towards him. Shoto whimpers trying to back away, but his father was bigger and stronger than he could ever be and caught up to him quickly, holding him by the collar of his rags and throwing him across the room harshly.

The impact causes immense pain to course through Shoto’s body, and he’s sure he could feel a rib or two of his break from the pressure. There was liquid running down his face, was that blood? Perhaps. He was in too much pain to process what was happening.

“First, you kill your mother,” His father says, slowly making his way towards him, intimidation falling off him in waves. “Second, you act like an entitled brat to everyone in this house,” his words make Shoto flinch, knowing in his heart that none of his words were true. “And third,” Shoto’s father says as he finally stands in front of him, eyes glaring into his with severe malice. “You dare steal something extremely valuable from your sister? Have you no shame?”

With the little strength he could muster, Shoto looks up at his father, eyes weak and hazy. “Steal?” He whispers. “I didn’t steal anything….”

“Lies!” He hears his sister exclaim, sobbing hysterically. If Shoto didn’t know that his sister had two sides, he would have believed that she was genuinely upset. But that wasn’t the case. She was making things up. And this time, her act might actually cost his life.

“You stole the storybooks I got from mother!” She accuses, holding her teddy bear tighter to her chest, hateful eyes glaring into his.

Storybooks? Shoto asks to himself, eyes darting around only to find the pile of storybooks on the ground— the same ones you read to him every night. A fire burns inside him, something that Shoto had never felt before. The audacity his sister had.

“Y-you,” he stutters, coughing from the pain. “You threw them away! I don’t steal them. I found them in the garbage!”

“That’s not true!” His sister fights back, and Shoto can see the way her eyes dart around in shock, not expecting him to actually speak up. “Why would I throw away something I received from mother?”

Shoto was about to retort, but suddenly, a harsh sound rang through the room, and Shoto feels an excruciatingly painful sting on his cheek. His father had slapped him hard.

“How dare you,” he says, voice low, concealing the pure unadulterated rage that was about to burst forth. “How dare you take our kindness for granted, you son of a bitch.”

“We clothed you. We gave you shelter and food, and this is how you repay us?” He spats, hands clenched into fists. “After everything you’ve done to our family, you continue to disgrace our family name? What a despicable child you are.”

Pushing Shoto down to the floor, Enji raises his hand, ready to land a punch. “Shameful.” He lands a blow. “Disgusting.” He lands another. “Thief.” This time his father hits his broken ribs, causing Shoto to cry out in even more pain. “Murderer.”

Tears fall from Shoto’s eyes as the pain continues to flow through him, bursting through every punch. Was he really a murderer? Was he really that bad of a child? If so, why did they make him stay? Why couldn’t they put him out of his misery?

He wished his fairy godmother was here. She would probably make things better than they were now. She would make all the pain go away and then pat his head like she always did as she read him another story. He had never been as happy as he was whenever she read to him. But who knew that happiness came at an awful price?

Fairy Godmother, Shoto prayed in his mind as his father continued to beat him, letting out all his anger onto his body. Where are you? He was sure he looked like a mess, probably not even human anymore. But he couldn’t care less. He just wanted his fairy godmother by his side.

She said she would be there when he needed it most, didn’t she?

Suddenly the pain stops, and all Shoto feels is numb. He opens his eyes to the best ability, only to see his father stop midair with someone’s hand holding into his arm. He turns to the side, wincing in pain, yet it’s worth it because he finally sees the person he’s been waiting for.

His fairy godmother had finally appeared.

“Who are you?” His father shouts, screaming at the fairy. Her face is hardened, eyes glaring back at him with such hatred that it could honestly mirror his father’s.

“None of your business,” she spats before forcefully throwing his father to the other side of the room, landing with a harsh thud.

She walks towards him, a menacing aura surrounding her, but just before she could approach Shoto’s father, his sister immediately runs to defend him, glaring with genuine tears in her eyes.

“Who are you?” She screams, shaking. “Why are you attacking father? Father has done nothing wrong! You should be attacking that… thing! He’s the bad one here.”

Her desperate cries leave a bitter hole in Shoto’s heart as he feels nothing but despair. He had always hoped that beneath all the harsh words of his family members, underneath all their cruel punishments and glaring eyes, they would still have room in their hearts to care for him, even just a little bit.

But no, they didn’t even see him as human. And that hurt way more than being called a murderer.

“First of all,” you say, voice ice-cold, causing shivers to run down everyone’s spine. “Shoto isn’t a thing. He’s a human being. He’s your brother. What kind of person are you for not even acknowledging that?”

“He killed my mother!” Shoto’s sister screams in protest, holding her ground. But her words only cause your gaze to harden as you grab her in the shoulders, and she shakes under your terrifying stare.

“Listen here, young lady,” your voice booms through the room. “Shoto didn’t kill anyone. Your mother’s death was not his fault. Just because you can’t accept the fact that your mother is not on this earth anymore doesn’t mean you can treat your brother like he’s the scum of the earth.”

His sister falls silent after that, not knowing what else to say. She sniffles, and as gently as you can, you push her to the side. She was still a child, after all. No matter how vain she was, she was only a year or two older than Shoto. And you were not one to inflict pain on children or anyone for that matter.

But this had gone too far. And you couldn’t find it within yourself to stand on the sidelines any longer.

“And you,” if possible, your voice becomes even more ominous as you approach Enji, who sat on the ground, groaning. In his weakened state, he glares at you, having the audacity to continue spewing nonsense from his mouth.

“Don’t you know who I am?” He threatens before you can continue to speak. “I am Todoroki Enji, the right-hand man of the Emperor of the Musutafu Empire! If his majesty were to find out of your crime, then he would—”

“—Punish you to the depths of hell.” You say, cutting him off. “I’m not a fool, Todoroki Enji. I know that the only reason you sheltered Shoto was so the Emperor wouldn’t find out your crimes. Otherwise, you would have thrown him onto the streets.”

Enji can feel his blood run cold, the truth hitting him like harsh waves the more they fall from your lips.

“The Emperor is a kind and just man, and if he were to ever find out that you were treating your child this way, then he wouldn’t hesitate to sentence you to death. You know that more than anyone.”

Silence befalls the room as everyone soaks your words in. Shoto doesn’t understand. What were you trying to say?

“You know better than to punish Shoto for killing his mother. He didn’t do anything wrong. Todoroki Rei was already weak and frail after giving birth to the little young miss over there, yet you still insisted that she bear you a child, and when she refused, you threatened her.”

A gasp falls from his sister’s lips as the gravity of your words swirls up into a tornado in Shoto’s mind. Was this true? Was he truly not to blame for all of this?

“Lies,” Enji mutters under his breath, low enough for only you to hear. You stay silent, allowing the man to form his thoughts, yet that proves to be fatal as after a beat of silence passes, the man glares at you, taking a broken piece of the wall and swinging it your way.

“Fairy Godmo—” Shoto calls, distressed and scared, but it proved to be for naught as in the blink of an eye, the heavy debris vanished, and you stood there, wand in hand, glaring once more at his father.

“What?!” His father exclaims, finally taking his stand. “How were you able to do that? That should have killed you!”

You smile, grin sinister and dark, far from the gentle warmth it usually portrayed. Shoto was scared. His brain couldn’t comprehend what was happening. But what he did know was that he didn’t like any of this one bit.

“Magic,” is all you say, lifting your wand to cast another spell. “Magic is what made me do this to you. And magic is how I’ll make sure that you suffer the same hell Shoto has gone through.”

Horror fills Enji’s eyes as you step closer. But just as you’re about to release your spell, the door opens, revealing Shoto’s second brother, Natsuo, whose eyes widened at the sight in front of him. On instinct, he grabs the wooden sword he had brought with him from his training and lunges at you just as your magic bursts forth, tackling you to the ground.

And a scream fills the air.

Everyone looks, startled at the sight. When the chaos finally comes clear, to the family’s dread and your glee, your spell had managed to affect Enji, but not in the way that you had hoped.

Instead of the core of his body, you had hit his eyes instead, a nasty scar forming over it, burning the flesh, and causing the man to tremble in pain.

Well, at least he would know what Shoto felt when he got his scar.

You stand up, dusting the dirt off your clothes as you make your way towards Shoto, ignoring his shell-shocked brother, who was staring at his father writhing in pain. You probably look like a mess at this point, totally different from how you usually appeared, but that was the least of your concerns.

You had to ensure Shoto was alright. He had gone through so much after all.

You couldn’t stand it. How could you stand watch when Shoto’s father was basically killing the poor child? Shoto who was pure and innocent. Shoto, whose only desire in life, was to read. He didn’t care for freedom or revenge. He just wanted to live normally.

You couldn’t find it within yourself to let his family trample over those dreams any longer.

You finally approach him, getting ready to kneel beside him and take him in your embrace so you could take the pain away. How much pain must he have gone through? You wonder. His body was battered and bruised, looking as if he was merely a shell of the child he once was. It was too cruel, and you could only hope that you’re magic would take even a bit of that pain away.

Because the child deserved to smile.

But just as you’re about to reach out towards him, a bright light shines through the room, and from that light comes a figure, one that causes your whole being to momentarily freeze in shock and fear.

Elder Yagi stood there in all his glory, robes and wings perfectly accentuating his features, truly presenting himself as the most powerful fairy in all the realm. His eyes were placed into a frown, and he stared directly at you, disappointment evident within him.

You had screwed up, and now you were going to pay the price.

“Young (Y/N),” His voice booms, loud and proud like how a fairy should be. “For breaking the Fairy Code by revealing the existence of magic to humans other than your godchild and for using said magic to unlawfully harm the human race, you are hereby sentenced to banishment from the fairy realm effective immediately.”

You stare at the elder you had come to know as a father, pleading with desperate eyes for him not to do this to you, but he pays no mind, waving his wand, causing binds to form and wrap around your body.

“No, please!” You scream in vain, begging. “At least let me heal Shoto. Let me do something for him!”

“You’ve already done enough!” Elder Yagi screams. It’s the first time you’ve seen him so angry, and it scares you. Where was the kind fairy you had come to know? Why was he acting like this? “The Council will take over.”

And light flashes once more through the broken room, and just like that, you’re gone, leaving Shoto behind.

Shoto blinks blearily, everything passing by in a blur. What had happened? What was happening? He wished he had the strength to get up and take a stand for himself, but he was quite literally beaten to a pulp. He can’t feel the strength in his arms anymore, and just that very thought scares him.

The only thing that comforts him is the soothing lullaby of darkness, trancing him into a sleepy state, and before he knows it, Shoto passes out.

Not knowing that from this point onwards, his life would change forever.

The light shines through the curtains, and Shoto wakes up, blinking.

He stretches his tired limbs and sits up, yawning. Why did he feel so tired? He’s never felt this weary before.

He gets out of bed, heading towards his bathroom, looking at the mirror. When he does, however, he’s suddenly flashed with a vision of him, beaten into a pulp and unable to stand up, and he gasps, but that vision slowly fades away, and Shoto’s regular reflection comes back.

What was that? Why did he look so… dead?

Surely that was a figment of his own imagination, right? Surely that was his mind playing tricks on him, right? Sure, his family did beat him from time to time, but they would never treat him that badly, right?

Shoto shivers, desperately shaking his thoughts away, as he slowly makes his way to the kitchen, hoping to snag some food while the servants aren’t looking.

On his way, however, he bumps into his father, who glares at him. Shoto looks to the ground in shame, not knowing why this particular meeting made him more frightened than usual. He should be used to his father’s beatings by now, but why did he feel so scared?

“You,” his father says, and Shoto halts at the menacing tone in his voice. “Look at me.” Shoto does as he asks, and looks up to his father, eyes widening at the sight of a ghastly scar mirroring his own on his father’s face.

Did he always have that scar?

His father stares at him as if he were examining him. For what reason, Shoto wasn’t quite sure, But it made him extremely uncomfortable, and he could only hope that his father would let him go soon.

“You should be grateful I’m in a good mood today, brat,” is all his father says, glaring harshly at Shoto. He doesn’t say anything more than that, choosing to leave towards the direction of the dining room, leaving Shoto behind in the hallway.

That was it? He asked himself. He wasn’t going to punch him? That was weird. But he paid it no mind. As his father said, it was his lucky day.

Yet as Shoto continued to head towards the kitchen, there was an itching feeling scratching the back of his head, telling Shoto that there was something wrong. That something was missing. It felt like there was a missing piece to the puzzle, which confused Shoto because, as far as he knew, everything was completely normal.

But he couldn’t ignore that thought. It nagged him throughout the day, telling him that this wasn’t right.

The problem was, Shoto had no idea what exactly was wrong.

#once.upon.an.au #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academy x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki x you #todoroki shoto x you #shoto x you

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dailymeruem · 4 years ago

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Royal Guard Nomenclature

You might know the Royal Guards for having some creative names, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably read HxH Wiki trivia on where the names came from. However, I haven’t seen any comprehensive post getting right into it, so lets have some fun research time and look into the origins of the Chimera Ant Royal Guard’s namesakes and how they might have affected Togashi’s characterizations of them!

While i’m trying to keep everything as brief as I can, this will be a longer post so if you want to gain some knowledge and kill some time, read on! I’ve linked sources throughout the post for further research!

Naming Origin Sources

All three of the Guard’s names - Neferpitou, Shaiapouf, and Menthuthuyoupi, respectively- were chosen by the Chimera Ant Queen prior to their birth in the story. They are mashups from two sources - Ancient Egyptian mythology, specifically the pantheon of traditional gods and goddesses, and a French children’s book series entitled Caroline et ses amis (Caroline and her Friends) written by Pierre Probst.

The Guard x Egyptian Gods

In Ancient Egyptian life, people worshiped a large number of deities which represented natural forces and phenomena (sunlight, life, childbirth, etc). The people regularly offered sacrifices and performed rituals to please the gods so that these forces would continue to function according to divine order (ma’at). Each god or goddess had complex relationships, characteristics, and symbolism associated with them. {x}

Neferpitou x Nefertem

The first half of Neferpitou’s name, “Nefer-”, is derived from the Egyptian deity Nefertem. A very ancient god by Egyptian mythos standards, this god is associated with the lotus flower, as he was believed to have emerged in a water lily from the primal waters at the creation of the world. He also represented the first sunlight and the lovely smell of the Egyptian blue lotus. Nefertem is usually depicted as a young, beautiful man, and sports titles such as “He Who Is Beautiful” and “Water Lily of the Sun”. {x} {x}

In HxH, Neferpitou is the first Royal Guard to be born, which ties in nicely to Nefertem’s being a very early god born from the creation of the world as well as being associated with the first sunlight. As for the beauty aspect, Neferpitou’s androgynous appearance could play into this factor, as some gods in the Egyptian creation myths were depicted as androgynous.

Nefertem’’s mother is often credited as being Bast/Bastet, the guardian goddess of cats, or Sekhmet, the warrior goddess of healing (both goddesses are often considered to be two aspects of the same goddess). These goddesses are both depicted with cat or lioness heads, and so Nefertem is often depicted with a lion’s head or as a lion. I needn’t say more about this tie to Neferpitou! Aside from the cat aspect, Sekhmet’s being a goddess that both goes to war and heals is reflected in Pitou’s dual nature- both a ruthless killing machine in their own right and with their Terpsichora ability making instant armies, and a reliable healer using the Doctor Blythe ability, showcasing a compassionate side. {x} {x}

Shaiapouf x Shai

Shaiapouf’s Egyptian name component comes from Shai, which, interestingly, is not so much an entity as it is a concept- the deification of the concept of Fate. The name Shai is usually translated as “that which is ordained”. This god was said to determine the span of each person’s life; he was with each person at their birth and remained with them through their life until their final judgement in the underworld (duat). Shai would offer the true life story of the individual at their judgement, and could either protect or damn them. This deity has so much power in the Egyptian mythos that even pharaohs and other gods were subject to it. {x} {x}

Now, although Shaiapouf as a character doesn’t have an omnipotent power over fate, the concept of fate runs really strong in Pouf’s characterization. Pouf, along with the other Royal Guards, was present at King Meruem’s birth, and intended to stay at his side throughout his whole life, guiding and protecting him. This is a role that Pouf seemed to take to heart, almost to an extreme. As we know, Pouf saw the King’s destiny of becoming the ruler of the world and dominating all other species as being absolute, and began to actively work against the Guard and even the King himself when he began to stray from the fate that Pouf had “preordained” for him. Going so far as to attempt to kill Komugi, who was the most important person to the King, Pouf’s actions, although out of a motivation to protect the King, would have been damning for the King had he succeeded.

Shaiapouf’s nen ability, Spiritual Message, gives us a hint as to his namesake as well. The god Shai hid nothing from Osiris (god of the underworld) at the final judgement of that person’s life, and so does Pouf’s ability allow him to see the absolute truth about a person’s emotional state by reading their flow of aura. This gives Pouf the ability to come to conclusions about that person’s personality, thoughts, and possible course of action, seemingly allowing him to predict their “fate”. {x}

Also, this may be a trivial fact, but Pouf has the habit of ending his sentences with, “That’s all there is to it”. A very final and fateful statement indeed.

Being a concept, Shai is neither male nor female, but is more often depicted as being male. In this form, he is often said to be married to Renenutet (cobra goddess of child rearing who gave newborn babies secret names), or Meskhenet (goddess of childbirth). These three are often depicted together which gives us a definite picture of the cycle of birth and death. {x} {x}

In HxH, after Meruem is mortally wounded by the Miniature Rose Bomb, we get the lovely and terrifying experience of seeing Pouf and Youpi feed themselves to the King in order to revive him. In this scene, both guards are ecstatic as they have ascended to the level of a Chimera Ant Queen and are filled with an unconditional motherly love for their King. The ties here between this occurrence and these trifecta of gods associated with birth and life are pretty strong.

A few final small factoids: The Greek people associated Shai with their god Agathodaemon, a god of fortunetelling that was considered to be a serpent. As well, the word Shai was also an Egyptian word for “Pig”. Thus, Shai was sometimes depicted as a serpent-headed pig, also called the Shai animal. I am reminded of the time Pouf was shown to be able to rearrange his cells to impersonate a certain blind Gungi player.

Menthuthuyoupi x Montu

The final Royal Guard, Menthuthuyoupi, bears the name of Montu, a very powerful and ancient god in the Egyptian pantheon. Montu (also written as Monthu or Menthu, the latter which Youpi uses in his name) originally was a manifestation of the scorching effects of the sun (Ra), but over time this was modified to mean destructiveness in battle, which led to Montu being known as a god of war. He was said to attack the enemies of cosmic order (ma’at).Montu is usually depicted with a falcon head or a bull head. Falcons were a symbol of the sky, and bulls symbolized strength and war. {x} {x}

Montu was often linked with other gods and is depicted as a fusion of those gods. For instance, because of his association with Ra, he often appears as Montu-Ra. Occassionally he is linked to Atum (another creator god) and Set (god of scary natural phenomena and deserts). Over time, Montu was also linked to Horus, a god associated with the pharaoh, and therefore Montu is sometimes seen as being a symbol of a Pharaoh as a ruler and conqueror.

In HxH, Menthuthuyoupi definitely embodies the warlike aspect of his namesake. Being the only guard not made from human genetic material, he is able to act on instinct and devote himself completely to being a soldier for the King, attacking anyone who threatened the King’s divine rule. Being immensely powerful, Youpi was capable of immense damage with his Rage Blast and Rage Incarnate nen abilities. As well, just as Montu gradually evolved over time to represent more complex aspects of life in Ancient Egypt, so too did Youpi evolve over the course of the Chimera Ant Arc, which gave his life new and more complex meaning.

The many forms Montu can take reminds us of Youpi’s unique Metamorphosis ability, which allows him to change any part of his body at will to suit his needs. Youpi’s Rage Incarnate form, in which his body takes the worm of a winged centaur, is a callback to Montu’s two most common depictions; as a Falcon (Youpi’s wings), and as a Bull (Youpi’s hooves). {x}

One of Montu’s wives was thought to be Tjenenet, another goddess of childbirth, which has ties to the event of Meruem’s rebirth discussed in Shaiapouf’s section above.

An interesting tidbit of info is that Montu was sometimes though to be a guardian of family life. He is sometimes mentioned in marriage documents to enforce commitment; infidelity is described as “the abomination of Montu”. While this doesn’t really have anything to do with Menthuthuyoupi aside from maybe reflecting in his loyalty to the King, the next time you feel tempted to cheat on your significant other, imagining a frowning Youpi may dissuade you.

One thing that each Royal Guard has in common with all of their Egyptian namesakes is that all strive to support what they see as the Divine Order using their individual strengths, even if their methods of supporting this order greatly differ.

The Guard x Caroline et ses amis

The Caroline series is a series of French childrens picture books, or albums, written and illustrated by Pierre Probst. There are 44 books in the series, which were written from 1953 to 2007. They follow Caroline, a little blond girl who is independent and active, and her 8 mischievous animal friends, who talk like humans. The series was adapted into an animated TV show titled Caroline et ses amis in 1994, which is most likely the source Togashi got the names for the Royal Guards from (and you can find on youtube!) {x} {x}

Neferpitou x Pitou

Pitou is one of the 8 animal characters in Caroline. Pitou is a panther, and he appeared in a collection called “Les Albums roses” (The Pink Albums) in 1952, which were a precursor to the Caroline books, thus making Pitou the first character of the future Caroline series. Pitou is characterized as being lazy and cunning.

In HxH, our Neferpitou was the first of the Chimera Ant Royal Guard to be born, just as Pitou was the first character that began the Caroline series. Both of them being a cat is also a very obvious connection that both share. While there are other cats in the Caroline series, Pitou being a panther harkens to Neferpitou’s wild nature. Caroline’s Pitou being both lazy and cunning are character traits that show up in HxH’s Pitou as well; we see them exhibit extreme intellect in science, military strategy and manipulation, but at the same time they are the most playful of the Guard and get distracted very easily.

Shaiapouf x Pouf

Pouf is a white kitten that wears a blue bowtie. He is characterized as being elegant, snobbish, and eccentric. He is prone to going on rants about his dreams of greatness, much to the annoyance of everyone else, and he has little quirks such as hating water and the cold.

If it weren’t for the physical description, you might have thought I was describing HxH’s Pouf- he too is elegant, snobbish and eccentric and often goes on long, intellectual rants, which are mostly never followed by the rest of the guard. Shaiapouf is also always wearing a flowy white dress shirt that features a bowtie-like collar which is reminiscent of Pouf’s white fur and bowtie. While Shaiapouf isn’t known to hate water or cold, he does manifest peculiar quirks such as melodramatic monologues and playing his violin when he is upset.

Menthuthuyoupi x Youpi

Youpi (also spelled Yupi), is a cocker spaniel dog. He is naive, turbulent, and a little bit grumpy, but also generous, devoted and affectionate. He can be fearful and prefers staying home to going out on adventure. He really likes being cuddled by Caroline, the main character.

Menthuthuyoupi in HxH displays a lot of similar characteristics to his namesake: naive, turbulent, and devoted are all adjectives you could use to describe him. Because of Menthuthuyoupi’s lack of ego, he is solely devoted to the King and his divine destiny, not bothering to give a thought to other courses of action, which could be a reflection of Caroline’s Youpi prefering to remain in the safety of home. After Meruem’s revival, when Youpi and Pouf share a affectionate spiritual bond with him, Youpi is shown to cherish the new bond he has with his King, just as Caroline’s Youpi is affectionate towards Caroline.

~~~

One thing that all the Royal Guard share with their Caroline namesakes is that both sets of characters unquestioningly follow an independent leader character that they love and support. As well, in the case of Neferpitou and Shaiapouf, their manner of dress is a homage to Caroline- Pouf dresses in a very elegant and frilly ensemble, very French of him, in my opinion- and Pitou’s outfit is reminicent of both an old school French military uniform and a child’s school uniform.

A bonus Caroline homage in HxH: The titular character Caroline is famously depicted with her pigtail hairstyle. A certain blind Gungi player is also famously shown sporting a similar hairstyle.

Bonus Section: Meruem’s Name

Although not containing as much lore as his Royal Guard, the King’s given name can give us a few fun tidbits in keeping with the etymology of the Guard.

As you know, in-universe, the Chimera Ant Queen states her son’s name, Meruem, to mean “the light that illuminates/shines on everything”. His name is very close to the common Arabic name, Maryam (مريم), which has multiple romanized spellings. The most notable use of this name is in Biblical history as a form of the name Mary, who was the mother of Jesus, and Miriam, who was the sister of Moses.

It is thought that the name might have roots originating in the Egyptian language; the words “mry” (beloved) and “mr” (love) are thought to have been derivatives of the name.This root meaning would work in portraying the love that the Ant Queen had for her son, even before birth.

Other scholars have thought that the Hebrew root words “mr” (bitter) or “mry” (rebellious) were the basis of the name in the case of Miriam, as she was born at a point in history when the nation of Israel was subject to bitter slavery by the Egyptians. “Bitter” and "Rebellious” might be words you could use to describe Meruem, at least when he is first introduced to us. {x} {x}

Other fun tidbits: Meruem’s characteristic “neutral” face expression, young and feminine facial structure, and characteristic “cat eyes” is very reminiscent to a lot of ancient Egyptian art. One that stands out in my mind is the famous Head of Nefertem statue, found in the tomb of King Tutankhamun, which depicts the Pharaoh in question as a child in the form of the god Nefertem (remember him?). Interestingly, both Meruem and Tutankhamen were kings that ascended the throne (and died) very early in their lives. I’ll let you look at the piece and notice the similarities yourself!

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And that about does it for all the conclusions I’ve drawn. I hope you enjoyed reading through this and that it prompted you to do some reading and research of your own! Togashi chocked HxH full of fun little references to things in our real world, and it’s so much fun to do a deep dive to find all this trivia. If you think of/find any other fun things too add to this post, feel free to reply/reblog with additions. Cheers!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #chimera ants #chimera ant royal guard #hxh meta #i totally didnt spend 6 hours on this labour day monday no siree #ive been thinking about this a lot so i hope you enjoy!!!!!!!#long post #mod words #meta

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sunnyoldbear · 4 years ago

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I’m no artist but all I think about is Luca so here are my headcanons for them when they’re older!

Luca:

As I said in a previous post, he gets a bit thicker as he grows since his whole family is on the thicker side and he’s very skinny.

His tail gets longer as he gets older and he’s like a little kitty with it. When he’s in the water, he sleeps on his stomach with it curled completely around him. He also wraps his tail around Alberto and Giulia at times if there’s ever a time where it’s raining or something when they’re in the surface.

He’s the shortest of the trio and he hates that with every fiber of his being. Neither of them let him forget it.

He loves space more than the movie lets on, and that’s saying something. He has read almost every book he can find on it and he rambles about it every day.

He is still pretty clumsy and his arms always have a few bruises or scrapes on them. He likes putting colorful bandaids on his cuts because he likes the colors.

He loves helping Giulia’s mom with painting! Not just modeling for her, but just painting with her or learning. It reminds him of Alberto. He’s not… good at it, but he loves it.

Oh he loves dogs. He’s still a little scared of cats after Machiavelli, but Nerone is his baby and he would do anything for that little pup.

Has a massive sweet tooth!

As expected, he loves learning about Vespas and how they work and everything. He does his research and writes letters to Alberto about the best books to read about Vespas to ensure they buy or make the very best one.

He’s always moving, just can’t sit still. He’s always bouncing his knee or kicking his legs or drumming his fingers. He just can’t help it. (He’s neurodivergent yes, but this is the 50s so…)

Still has very fishy sayings that no one but him, his family, and Alberto understand.

Can ramble for hours about the sea and how he can relate it to space. He still loves water and tends to list the names of his goatfish under his breath when he’s stressed to calm himself down. He still misses wrangling them, but he is so happy that he’s free.

Spends hours working on his handwriting because he doesn’t like how messy it is. He wants it to be perfect.

He’s very self conscious about most human things he does. The only thing he isn’t self conscious about is his swimming abilities, but he hides it pretty well. He’s most self conscious about his intelligence, or lack thereof. He’s meant to be at Giulia’s level of intelligence but since he was raised in the ocean, he knows next to nothing and so he has to work extra hard to get good grades. He stresses a lot about it and sobs if he gets a bad grade.

He’s a surprisingly good cook. It just relaxes him.

He loves flowers and learned how to make flower crowns.

He also loves collecting seashells he finds because it reminds him of home.

Like many agree, he is terrified of bugs, but he could never hurt one.

He’s very emotional, but that’s canon so.

His letters to Alberto are typically very long and full of emotions and things about his day, as well as random things. He doesn’t mind Alberto’s shorter letters, and he saves them in a box under his bed.

Every time he sees Alberto again he practically tackles him in a hug. The first time, both of them fell straight to the floor and were bruised for days.

He loves stuffed animals. Since it’s not “manly” to keep them, he gets them “for Giulia” and then puts them on his bed. (Modern day, he wouldn’t give a damn and just get them for himself)

Gets flustered super easily, as we see in canon. Be it an innocent romantic comment or a nice compliment, he goes super red and embarrassed, stumbling over his words.

Still says “silenzio Bruno” before he does anything he’s nervous to. Some kids at school are confused about it but he’s more confused at their confusion. How do they not know what a Bruno is? Isn’t it a human thing?

Loves to annotate his books. Associates certain books/book quotes with the people he loves and will give them those books or repeat the quote to them.

Though Genova is much more accepting than Portorosso, he is still bullied pretty badly when Giulia isn’t around, and sometimes even when she is. He pretends nothing happens or that it doesn’t bother him, but it does. It bothers him so, so much. Alberto can see right through him with ease and is there to remind him that everything is okay and he’s still loved. It helps, but not as much as Alberto thinks it does.

Even with the bullying, Luca loves school so, so much. That being said, he loves summer and being in Portorosso more.

Does that “look me in the eyes. You know I love you right?” thing he and his mother do to everyone he loves.

Alberto:

There is nothing he loves more than harassing Giulia. Being her brother, he loves to tease her, but will fight anyone who does the same.

Once decked Ercole. Got in trouble but Massimo secretly gave him a high five.

Cleaned up the island and erased the tallies he made for his father. He put some of Giulia’s fairy lights in there and has a few extra pillows, books in every corner and drawings all across the tower. He still has a lot of his human artifacts, but most of them are gone since he needs money for a Vespa.

His new tally board has “Reunion” scrawled at the top and its for waiting for his sister and best friend to return home.

Loves being a lifeguard.

Is super close to Machiavelli now and even adopted a stray to be his friend. Or uh… more than a friend, considering the big litter the cat soon fathered.

Alberto named all the kittens after fish.

He always draws things for Luca and eagerly waits his arrival.

Also has a massive sweet tooth, bigger than Luca’s.

Stores Luca’s letters away under his bed.

He and Massimo made Giulia’s hideout a proper treehouse and it’s now a study spot.

Has tons of books about Vespas. Massimo taught him to read and write.

He’s more self confident about his “human expertise” since he does it his own way.

One of the messiest eaters I swear to god-

Doesn’t care much about space, but he’ll listen to Luca ramble about it for hours without complaint.

Doesn’t really have anything he’s super interested in other than Vespas like how Luca likes space, but I might change my mind about that.

Loves watermelon!

His recklessness causes him to have as many bruises and scrapes as Luca’s clumsiness does, but he doesn’t care about putting bandaids on.

Alberto’s letters are pretty short but great!

Definitely bottles things up until he can’t anymore but he’s trying to get better.

Part of him feels guilty about catching and eating fish, but it’s hinted seamonsters eat fish so I’m accepting that as canon and saying he feels slightly less guilty about it. Definitely enjoys pasta more.

Loves the snow, especially when it means snowball fights. (Definitely throws them as hard as he can at Ercole. Son of a bitch deserves it.)

Oh yeah, he swears now. He’s heard a few swears around while making deliveries around the year and catches on. He makes a few of his own, too.

He just makes up words of his own as well as phrases. He doesn’t just convince Luca to say them. He convinces Massimo & Giulia as well as Luca’s fam. It’s a big, fun inside joke.

Loves turning into a sea monster and acting silly to make the kids around town smile.

Honestly he just loves being a sea monster. It’s great to be him. He feels free. It’s not as good a feeling as being on a Vespa, but it’s something.

He stares longingly at every Vespa he sees.

He probably named that girl cat Vespa or some variation of now that I think of it.

Giulia:

I see a lot of headcanons of her with glasses and I gotta say I love it! So, glasses Giulia!!!

Tallest of the three! Alberto hates her for it but she loves it.

She actually takes after her father more than she does her mother, contrary to popular belief.

Though she loves space, after her meeting with the boys, she’s thinking of marine biology. She stays up late every night researching everything aquatic. She constantly asks the boys about sea things and visits in that diver suit whenever she can.

She bullies Alberto as often as he bullies her. Their play fights look so aggressive that people think they’re actually trying to kill each other.

She’s constantly torn between chopping off all her hair or letting it grow out. She settles on leaving it medium length and tie it up.

A very yellow person! It’s everywhere. She loves it so much! The color of happiness, baby.

She’s the first to call Alberto part of the family, saying in a letter that her school wants to meet her brother. She got a letter from Massimo saying Alberto sobbed upon reading it.

Loves to paint with her mom but thinks bike riding is better. She loves that bike.

Harasses Alberto to put a sidecar on his Vespa for her. (Inspired by a drawing by aishimation on Instagram!)

Though she adore her mother, she’s a daddy’s girl and loves him so much.

Can and will punch anyone who calls her brother and her best friend a monster straight in the jaw

Hates her school uniform

Will also pour water all over Alberto just to piss him off

Summertime? I think you mean “training for the Portorosso Cup and also attack Alberto and Luca with a hose for a few months”

She loves to dance

Wants to get tattoos when she’s older

Very much a feminist and doesn’t care how much trouble she gets in for voicing what she knows is right

---

More on the way probably. These dumb gay Italian fish and their ginger friend is all I think about dhdhjdhdvdh

#pixar luca #luca movie #luca paguro #alberto scorfano #giulia marcovaldo #massimo marcovaldo #luca #Pixar

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yslkook · 4 years ago

Text

#deep dive (11)

#corporate masterlist summary: you receive some surprising news at work and you and jungkook go on your first mini-trip together in tokyo. word count: 11.2k warnings: cursing, alcohol, smut, a fight, discussions of mental health smut warnings- handjob, blowjob, fingering, guided masturbation, penetrative sex, overstimulation, a lil crying, excessive use of pet names lol a/n: another chapter that got away from me... our couple is moving along ladies!! as always ty @cutechim for ur inspiring enthusiasm!!

Surprisingly, after your outburst at work, you hadn’t been reprimanded at all. Despite being nervous to show your face to your boss and your coworkers, there was apparently no need to be nervous.

Because your boss was out on “leave”. Which, as Seokjin and Namjoon had informed you, was really just a way for the senior leaders to tell your boss and his boss to get their shit together.

Much more aggressively, of course.

You’re surprised to see your boss’s office empty and his boss’s office empty as well. And then guilt begins to seep into your bones- had you gotten them fired? It was hard enough to land a job these days, and had you done that to them?

Jungkook catches your forlorn gaze and squeezes your hand subtly as he walks with you to your cubicle. Your side of the floor is relatively quiet today, as many people were out of the office or working from home.

He sits with you in the chair in your cubicle and pulls his laptop out to do some work on this breezy morning. You quite like these impromptu working sessions with him- even if you’re (halfway) in love with him, you both know where to raise the lines of professionalism.

But you hold his hand for a second longer, and he squeezes once more.

“What if I got them fired,” You whisper, careful to keep your voice low.

“Even if they did get fired, they deserve it. For creating a toxic workplace environment,” Jungkook says, so full of conviction that you almost believe it.

“Okay,” You say uncertainly, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” He murmurs, giving you a sweet, bunny smile, “I’m sure.”

You nod, sighing heavily. “I’ll book a conference room, can you ping Sana and let her know we have to finish those deliverables for the workshop in August? So Namjoon can get his eyes on it…”

“Can’t believe it’s already May,” Jungkook mumbles, shaking his head, “Fucking crazy.”

“I know, right?”

You pack up your laptop and your notebook in your bag and gesture for Jungkook to follow you to the conference room. He walks behind you, wanting to catch a glimpse of the way your dark green pencil skirt hugs your hips and your ass.

Nice.

Midway through your working meeting with Sana and Jungkook, you receive a ping from Hae-Ri herself. Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you when you stop speaking mid-sentence, your eyebrows furrowed in perplexity.

“Uh, I gotta step out for a few minutes. Can you two finish this off in the meantime?” You ask, pulling your green blazer on shoving your laptop in your bag.

“Yeah, I think we’re almost done anyway,” Sana says, eyeing you and Jungkook with suspicious eyes. She’s long suspected something was going on with you both. She’s not blind to the not so discreet heart eyes you both send each other, but she assumes you both are keeping whatever it is a secret.

Jungkook sends you a text right away. You tell him Hae-Ri asked to speak with you and that you’ll text him later.

Your heart is in your throat as you walk the two minutes to her corner office with a view but you keep your face as neutral as possible.

She’s already ushering you inside and closing the door behind her, telling you to take a seat.

“Do you want coffee or tea or water?” Hae-Ri asks, pouring herself a large cup of coffee.

“No, I’m okay, thanks,” You say, straightening your back as you try to calm your racing heart.

She sits in her big, fancy leather office chair (it looks like it costs more than the outfit on your skin) and she just looks at you, with her unnerving eyes. You say nothing, only meeting her gaze with the same intensity.

Hae-Ri breaks your impromptu staring contest first with a wide grin.

“So,” She starts.

“So…”

“Do you know why I asked you to come in here?”

You bite your tongue, wanting to ask her “how would I know why you called me in here” but you refrain. “No…”

“Being the head of business development means that I have visibility to everything,” Hae-Ri says matter of factly, “And I’m sure you know that Namjoon and Seokjin sing your praises every chance they can.

“The reason I called you in here is because there’s an opening for a new team that’s gonna be managed under both Hyo-Jin and I. It’ll be a hybrid approach for managing new products, submissions and being part of the business strategy. The position would have a direct line to Hyo-Jin but a dotted line to me. And we think you would be a great fit for it. It’s an associate director level position…”

Associate director? You can’t help your jaw from dropping, that’s three levels up from your current position. It’s a promotion on top of a promotion.

Holy shit. Nobody’s ever recognized you in this way. You swallow a ball of emotion down your throat- of course, you complain about work, about your shitty boss. But never in your wildest dreams, could you have imagined that two of the heads in this area would recognize and recommend you.

“It’s a lot to think about and consider. The position will be posted on the internal career portal in about three weeks to a month. It’ll be a challenge, but I think you’re up to the task. Of course, there is no pressure if you choose not to apply. But talent and leadership should not go unrecognized.”

When you tell Jungkook what Hae-Ri said to you in the safety of your car, he’s far more excited than you are. He kisses your cheeks, your forehead, your lips and you can’t help but laugh at his antics.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” Jungkook breathes, “About time these people got their shit together-”

“It’s a lot to think about,” You muse, “A promotion of three levels? That hardly ever happens…”

“That just shows how incredibly amazing my hot, sexy, girlfriend is,” Jungkook says, earning himself a swat of his shoulder by your hand, “And it shows how shitty your boss was to let you fly under the radar for this long.”

You give him a small smile. “I have a few weeks to think about it before it gets posted. Hae-Ri said it should be up in mid-June…”

“We gotta celebrate,” Jungkook insists, dropping another kiss to your glossy lips. You laugh, feeling a little giddy along with him.

“It’s not premature?”

“We’re only celebrating the mere possibility.”

“Okay,” You nod, “Let’s go for drinks tonight with our friends? But can we just keep it between us? I don’t want to jinx anything.”

“Yeah, it can be our secret for now,” Jungkook winks, his hoops shaking as he laughs with you, “Stay the night tonight?”

“Maybe, I’ll see if Grandma is okay,” You murmur and Jungkook nods. A squeal (one that you’ll later deny) leaves your lips when Jungkook pulls you into his lap and presses kisses up and down the column of your neck.

“Now lemme show my girl how proud I am of her.”

It’s another night, a warm sticky night in June, where Jungkook stays over your house for the weekend. You don’t like leaving Grandma alone, despite her insistence that you have your own life. Jungkook understands, and it was actually him who had suggested spending the weekend at your place.

Your heart flutters at the thought of him. He had a late Friday meeting and had told you he’d meet you at your house around seven or eight that evening, and had subtly squeezed your hand in your cubicle in goodbye.

That was a few hours ago, and Jungkook had texted you letting you know that he was on his way. He had stopped by to bring flowers, a bottle of wine and some pastries for you and Grandma. They were Grandma’s favorites.

Grandma had insisted on making dinner for you and Jungkook, despite your protests. Your favorite aromas linger in the air and you contemplate having a few bites before Jungkook even arrives. You try to reach for a piece of mandu but Grandma swats your hand away, admonishing you for trying to eat before your boyfriend and guest even arrived.

Boyfriend. What a strange word.

A series of knocks. You eagerly step towards the front door, ignoring Grandma’s not so quiet snicker.

“Hi,” You breathe out, feeling a little flustered. As if you hadn’t just seen him a few hours ago at work.

“Hi, sweet girl,” Jungkook says with a small upturn of his lips and you press a chaste kiss to his lips. It surprises him, how often you kiss him in front of Grandma. Even if they are quick, chaste kisses.

“You gonna invite him in or just stand there and let him get cold?” Grandma says from the dining room, peering over to you both with a hand on her hip.

“Yeah, you gonna let me get cold?” Jungkook asks with a wink and you groan. They always tag team you, but you don’t mind. In fact, you love it. You love that your boyfriend and your only remaining member of your family get along.

You pull him inside and take his bag from him, finally seeing the flowers, bottle of wine and box in his arms.

“What’s all this?” You ask with widened eyes, “You didn’t have to, Jungkook…”

He always brings something when he comes over, and you always say those words to him.

“His parents raised him better than to come to someone’s house empty handed,” Grandma says in approval, making Jungkook’s heart soar. Whenever Grandma gives an inclination that she likes him, it makes him smile. It’s endearing. You rub his cheek with your thumb affectionately and he scrunches his nose at your touch.

“I’ll go put your stuff upstairs,” You murmur, rubbing his back warmly and leaving him with Grandma. Jungkook pulls the sleeves of his sweater to his elbows to help Grandma put the food on the dining table, and your heart constricts at how well he fits with you in your cozy home.

You return to find three glasses of wine filled and a plate already set for you across from Jungkook.

“Food’s so good, Grandma,” Jungkook moans, after nearly inhaling his entire plate. And then some.

“No thanks to your girlfriend,” Grandma snorts and shoots you a teasing smile when you protest loudly.

“Hey! You insisted!”

You pout at both of them when they laugh at your expense, but their laughter makes you smile. Grandma asks Jungkook how work is going, how his family is. You only smile fondly at both of them, taking a backseat from the conversation. It amazes you, how quickly he’s taken to Grandma. You thought it would’ve taken a little more to pull him out of his shell. But he surprises you, as he usually does.

You clear the table and pour another glass of wine for you and Jungkook, who’s turning on your television to browse what movies or shows are available for watching.

You sit next to him after dimming the lights, careful with the two glasses of wine. He’s careful about touching you, not wanting to offend or make you or Grandma uncomfortable.

It’s endearing. You only smile at him, pulling the blankets up to cover you both and lean your head on his shoulder. He tenses up immediately, wanting to reluctantly move away from your touch but you squeeze his forearm in reassurance.

Grandma says nothing as she watches you both, only casting a knowing look to Jungkook.

His cheeks flush at her gaze and he sinks deeper under the blankets, hiding his warm cheeks from Grandma. Grandma only chuckles to herself and you’re oblivious to both of them, eyes focused on the movie.

Grandma had long gone to bed, and you and Jungkook are cuddled under the blankets. Jungkook watches the movie raptly, oblivious to your stolen glances and almost touches. You sigh, wrapping an arm around his bicep and nosing at his neck. You absently push his hair away from his eyes, the pads of your fingers dancing over his scalp. It takes a few moments of you nipping his neck, your lips wet and warm against his skin for him to turn his gaze to you.

“Can I help you?” Jungkook asks, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Yeah,” You breathe, “Let’s go to bed, baby.”

“But the movie,” Jungkook protests, his lips breaking into a wide smile at the furrow of your brow, “I’m only kidding. We can watch the movie in bed after all, right?”

You roll your eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully but he acquiesces.

You get through all of ten minutes of the movie once you settle in between his legs in your bed. Jungkook’s chin is over your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist loosely. You wonder if he can hear your heart beating right out of your chest. He holds you so easily, as if he was always meant to fit between the spaces of your body.

You’ve changed into your pajamas, just a shirt and some shorts and Jungkook has as well. Into an oversized shirt and his boxers.

Jungkook fully looks like your boyfriend, your baby, and it sends a wave of affection through you. Turning your head and shifting to look at him. His cut jaw calls for your attention and you press your lips there, to his neck and finally to his own lips.

“Can’t believe you’re mine,” You mumble, running your fingers through his dark hair.

“Are you mine?” Jungkook asks, pressing his forehead to yours. A smart comment is on the tip of your tongue, but it disappears from your mind quickly. The way he’s looking at you, as if you hold all of his warmth, makes you curl further into him and drop another kiss to his lips.

“Yes,” You exhale and your cheeks heat up when you pluck the courage to run a hand over his chest. Jungkook finds your shyness endearing- for someone a little rough around the edges, he’s not surprised at your softness.

“Baby,” Jungkook murmurs, the term of affection still making your heart lurch, “You can touch, sweet girl. ‘M all yours.”

You swallow, a little nervously. “Me too,” You say softly, “Want you to touch me, baby.” You lean your head on his shoulder, tugging him down to you and meet his lips eagerly. You deepen the kiss quickly, a moan slipping out of your mouth without realizing. You could kiss him for hours, the soft feel of his smooth lips against yours is addicting. Flurries of butterflies erupt in your belly when he nips your bottom lip playfully and you moan again, the sound shooting straight through Jungkook.

He pulls away for a breath, looking at you with hooded eyes. You’re about to dip your head for another kiss but he ducks his head to plaster his lips to your neck. The wetness of his tongue slides along the column of your neck, before he gently kisses you behind your ear. If you were standing, your knees would have buckled surely. Jungkook cups your face gently, rubbing your cheek as he buries his face in your neck.

“Jungkook,” You breathe and he coaxes an unexpected moan from your throat when he sucks and soothes your collarbones.

Jungkook pulls away with reddened lips and you immediately push your lips to his without missing a breath. He’s itching to let his hands roam, to squeeze and hike your shirt up around your waist before peeling it off altogether.

You run your tongue over his bottom lip teasingly and press your chest flat against his. He’s been so patient with you, taking it as slow as you had needed to. Jungkook has been following your lead this whole time, not wanting to overwhelm you. But you’ve been ready for him to take the lead and teach you. The last thing he wants to do is make you feel pressured.

And honestly, all Jungkook wants to do is make you feel good. And learn what you like and don’t like. He doesn’t think you even know what you like. He has a feeling of a few things that he is excited to explore with you.

Jungkook is not surprised when you take his hand and pull it under your shirt. The pads of his fingertips, brush lightly against your sides. You gasp at the sudden spark of his hands against your skin and impatiently slide up against him for more friction.

His hands are so big, so much bigger than your own, dotted in tattoos. You can hardly believe these are the hands that are squeezing you so gently and adoringly. But you’re impatient, and you pull your sleep shirt up and off of your frame to toss it to the side.

You want more. You want more of him and you don’t want slow. You want soft, but you’re ready for something a little more.

“My pretty girl,” Jungkook purrs, thumbs flitting over your tits, “Does my pretty girl want somethin’?”

“Just want you,” You mumble.

“Tell me,” Jungkook murmurs, fingers tracing over your tattoos with a featherlight touch.

“Want you to touch me,” You nearly whine, and he grins in satisfaction. One of these days, he’ll teach you what it means to beg. But not today. He palms your breasts, moaning into your neck just at the feel of your soft flesh in his hands.

The sight of his tattooed hands on yours, his tattooed arms around you sends another bolt of arousal down your spine.

Your eyes close of their own volition when he pinches your nipple, a silent sound caught in your throat. And then his pliant mouth replaces his fingers, warm breath fanning over your chest. Arousal shoots down your spine and you squeeze your legs together without realizing it.

It’s clear that he knows what he’s doing- not that you had any doubt in your mind about that. He’s told you that he’s had two serious girlfriends in college and the beginning of graduate school. You’re certain there were hookups in between and after.

Your hips buck up, grinding into the air as you squirm in his arms. “Stay still,” Jungkook murmurs. You can’t help it, not really. But you try to listen anyway. “Open your eyes,” He coaxes you.

When you meet his eyes, they’re slick with desire and adoration. For you.

“Good girl,” He says, his voice low. The low timber of his voice sends a shudder through you and your eyes widen. Jungkook’s lips twist into a smirk.

“Will you let me make you feel good?” Jungkook asks, his hand ghosting over your thighs. Your hips jump at the sensation and he squeezes your waist. You nod eagerly. “Tell me, baby,” He says, his lips leaving trails of kisses down your chest and your belly.

“Yes,” You gasp, “Jungkook, please-”

He gives you a bright, bunny smile and your heart skips a beat. Adjusting you so that your back is flat against his chest, he kisses the back of your neck. His touch is constant on you- your belly, your waist, your breasts.

Jungkook palms your clothed pussy and you gasp sharply at the buzzing sensation suddenly filling your head. You reach behind him to wrap your arm around his head and tug on his hair impatiently as he rubs against you with quicker paces.

You wonder if he even knows what he’s doing to you. From the wetness staining your panties, he just might find out soon enough.

“Show me how you touch yourself, baby,” Jungkook murmurs, his voice husky in your ear. You’re certain cotton is filling his brain, because there’s no way he just asked you that.

“What?” You ask, and Jungkook chuckles at your speechlessness.

“Didn’t hear me?” Jungkook says, “Show me how you touch yourself.”

You’re stunned into submission, peering up at him with hazy eyes. Keeping your eyes on him, you shrug out of your shorts and your underwear in one fell swoop, leaving you completely bare for his gaze. Goosebumps rise on your skin when he says nothing, only drinking you in with wide, thirsty eyes.

Jungkook swallows. “Fuck.”

“What?” You ask, beginning to panic at his lack of a reaction. You close your legs instinctively but he pushes your knees apart, giving him a view of your glistening folds.

“Had such a big crush on you in school,” Jungkook mutters, “You didn’t even know, baby. And now I get to see you like this. Because you gave us a chance.

“And you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” Jungkook says, tugging your jaw to him and dropping a deep kiss to your lips.

“Thought you wanted a show,” You quirk the corner of your lips up and he chuckles against your neck. His hands tighten around your waist, pulling you closer to him and you feel something hard poking at your ass.

It makes your stomach flip. You bring your knees up to your chest and spread your legs wider. Jungkook’s breaths are staggered in your ear and he squeezes your tits as your hands slide down your chest to your pussy. You rub your clit, your hips jolting immediately and Jungkook holds you steady.

You tease yourself, your touch barely there as your clit throbs. “Look at you, pretty girl,” Jungkook murmurs. You circle your clit with your middle finger, gathering your wetness before Jungkook seizes your hand.

It appears he’s growing impatient, too.

His much longer fingers replace yours, the touch sending another bolt of electricity through you. You imagine what Jungkook’s fingers feel like against you almost all the time, but reality is so much better than your daydreams. He rubs you lazily and you whine, wanting him to go faster. You put your hand over his as he circles your clit.

You don’t even realize that you’re moaning and squirming, pushing back against his hard cock purposefully. “Be quiet, baby,” Jungkook whispers, nipping your earlobe, “Grandma’s only a few doors down…”

Jungkook makes you feel like you’re in your own world, thoughts filled with nothing but sinful honey and him. You whimper as he rubs your clit faster and faster, your thighs beginning to close to lock his fingers in place.

“Jungkook,” You moan, cheeks heating up at the pitchiness of your voice. Jungkook hums in response, only pressing his lips to your neck and his other hand to your chest. You push back against him harshly, back pressed into his chest as if you’re trying to mold yourself into him.

You writhe in his hold, not used to the feeling of his long, thick fingers rubbing your folds. Jungkook pushes a finger into your throbbing pussy once you’re slick and you shiver, a broken sort of noise escaping your lips. Your moans are loud, and Jungkook is pleased but he presses his lips to yours to swallow your soft noises.

Your grip around his wrist is tight, as if to tether yourself to him. “Hey,” Jungkook says softly, nipping at your earlobe again, “Look, baby. Watch me, look how your pussy was made for me. You’re so wet, sweet girl…”

Glancing down to where his fingers were gliding in and out of your wetness easily, you let out another choked noise. He slips another finger into your pussy and you let out a shuddering gasp of his name, your nails digging into his wrist. The lewd sounds of his fingers in your wetness fills your bedroom and if you weren’t so consumed by thoughts of him, you might be almost embarrassed.

“Kook,” You mumble, your hips grinding into his touch to feel as much of him as you can, “Kook, feels so good…” You snake a hand behind you to sink into his dark hair and tug lightly, pulling a soft groan from him.

“Good girl,” Jungkook murmurs, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses down the column of your neck, “My good girl, my dream girl-”

Another rush of wetness floods his fingers at his words and he smirks into your sweaty skin. Your ass is pressed up against his hardened cock, but he wants to make you feel good first. He can worry about himself later. He bucks his hips into your ass and you push back at the feel of his clothed cock against you.

Your thighs begin to shake, a coil beginning to snap in your belly. It’s more powerful than it’s ever been- your own fingers had never brought you to the edge like this.

“You’re close, right?” Jungkook nearly slurs, high off of the sound of your noises, “My pretty girl’s gonna cum all over my fingers?”

You tug his hair harder and nod furiously, hips still bucking into his fingers. It only takes a few more rubs of your clit and pumps of his fingers for you to gasp and arch your back off of his chest. Jungkook immediately plasters his lips to yours to silence the sound of you cumming.

He’ll have to hear them fully. He needs to. But not tonight.

You pull away to gasp for air and your chest is heaving, eyes wide at the force of your orgasm from just his fingers alone. “Jungkook,” You mumble, wanting to see him. You turn in his hold, finally facing him and he’s just as lust blown as you.

You give him a lazy smile and wrap your arms around him, nosing at his neck. Before he can say anything to you, you roll your hips into his, meeting his clothed hardness. Jungkook drops his head against the headboard, groaning softly. His hands are planted firmly on your bare hips and you seemingly don’t mind that he’s fully clothed while you’re not.

“Rock with me, baby,” He murmurs, burying his face in your chest. Your legs are on either side of his hips and you comply easily, your breath hitching when he kisses marks soothingly over your breasts.

You wonder if you’re about to have the pleasure of seeing Jungkook cum again- it’s always beautiful, like the rest of him. Your hips feel like home to him, he squeezes and swats your ass gently. You only grin at him, pressing your forehead to his. His eyes nearly close in pleasure but he keeps them open, wanting to see you moving with him. A wet spot forms on his boxers from both of your arousals and he knows he’s about to cum soon-

And you do, too.

“Y’r g’nna make me cum in my pants, like I’m fifteen,” Jungkook pants, eyes straining to stay open to watch you.

“Or like you’re twenty-one and you’re obsessed with your mentor,” You breathe, earning yourself a pinch to your waist, “Kook, ‘m close again…” You never cum this quickly after the first time. Jungkook brings out the best parts of you, it seems.

“Me too, baby,” He grunts into your skin, harshly covering your lips with his own. A spark blooms in your belly, slowly spreading and warming you up from within. It’s much slower and less intense than your first orgasm, but just as delicious. You’re sensitive as he rocks his hips into yours and you whine softly at the feeling.

You move to sit on his thigh and your hands shake for a moment before scratching his chest with your freshly done nails. Then his abs. Then his navel.

“Can I?” You mumble.

“Can you what, baby?” Jungkook asks, amusement still in his eyes. You huff. He’s really going to make you say it.

“Wanna feel you, baby,” You murmur, meeting his eyes, “Wanna feel your cock in my hand-”

“‘M yours, pretty girl,” He replies easily, taking your wrist in his hand. You palm him from outside his boxers and you both groan- you from how big he is, and him from how warm your hand feels against him.

You shyly dip your hand down the waistband of his boxers but he stops you for a second. He wordlessly moves you from his thigh to the bed to slip out of his boxers so that he’s bare to you as well. After all, it’s only fair.

You can’t stop the soft gasp that leaves your lips or the way that your eyes zero in on his leaking cock. He’s so big in your hands and you can’t help but lick your dry, parched lips. Your cheeks are warm and for once, you have nothing to say- no quip, no snarky remark.

You tug on his shirt impatiently- how had you allowed him to be wearing clothes for this long? Pulling his shirt off of him and tossing it to the floor, you allow yourself the luxury of letting your hands roam his honeyed skin. He’s somehow both cut and soft, tight and supple.

Despite the number of times you’ve seen him like this, you can never get used to it. Even if it’s not the first time his cock is hot and heavy in your hands, you can’t help but trace his tattoos with your free hand and feel a little in over your head.

“Kook,” You murmur, curling close into his side and drawing your knees up to your chest, “Baby, teach me.”

Jungkook groans, the sincerity in your voice making his stomach flip. He takes your hand and squeezes before guiding you to the tip of his reddened cock. You experimentally palm his cock, smearing his leaking pre-cum over his cock and he gasps, burying his face in your shoulder.

You stroke him slowly, watching and listening for his breaths. They’re heavy against your skin and he tightens his grip around your waist, trying to melt into you.

“Faster, baby,” Jungkook says, his voice wrecked, “‘m so close-”

You pump him faster in your hands, making sure to be gentle with your grip. Jungkook looks down, marvelling at how big he looks in your hands.

“Am I doing okay, Jungkook?” You whisper, dark eyes wide and unsure. With hooded eyes, he groans and kisses you, and you feel his moans vibrating through your body. He’s so close- he can feel himself starting to come undone, and with another few pumps, he comes all over your hand. Some of his cum splatters on his belly but he pays it no mind, only focusing on regulating his breaths. Without thinking, you lick at the tips of your fingers and swallow the little bit of his cum that landed on your hands.

“I’ll go get a tissue to clean you up,” You whisper, searching for your shirt. When you find it, you stand up on shaky legs, only for him to yank you back towards the bed.

“Jungkook,” You scold lightly, and he presses his face into your belly.

“You believe me when I say you’re my dream girl,” Jungkook murmurs, ignoring your noise of protest. He looks up at you with bright, sparkling eyes. You swallow nervously, unable to handle the sudden bubbling of adoration you hold for this man.

“Put your boxers on, Jeon,” You mumble, pushing yourself off of him. You hear him laugh fondly. He knows you too well, he knows you’re repeating his words in your head. You emerge from the bathroom, looking a little unsure but still determined. Your hands tremble a little as you attempt to clean him up and he covers your hand with his own to guide you. Jungkook watches you flit around the room before standing up and tugging his boxers on.

He stands up and wraps his arms around your waist, his hands dipping under your shirt. Being in his arms immediately calms you down in gentle waves. He’s become such a calming pillar, a welcomed force in your life. You don’t think even your wildest, most romantic dreams could have ever conjured up someone like him.

Maybe he’s your dream boy, too.

Jungkook drops a kiss to your cheek, walking you back to the bed and laying you on top of it. He pulls the covers up over both of you and is half on top of you. You lean in for a kiss, stars shining in your eyes as you look at him. His legs tangle with yours when he meets your lips and pulls you in close.

“Goodnight,” You whisper when you pull away, “I think you’re my dream boy that I didn’t know I was dreamin’ about.”

With that, you turn your head so he doesn’t see how flustered you are. Your cheeks meet the cool material of your pillow and you pretend not to hear his low chuckle. He only squeezes your waist and murmurs a soft ‘goodnight’ to you.

You’d submitted your application for the associate director position that Hae-Ri had recommended you to apply to. You’d already had the first round of interviews, with the person who would be your direct manager and with Hae-Ri herself. And then you had another interview with Hyo-Jin.

You felt at ease and it felt more like a conversation than an actual interview. Which Jungkook and Jin tell you is because you made the smart decision to get to know them both months ago, before you decided you wanted a shift in your career.

But then Hae-Ri dropped the bombshell on you after the series of interviews. To be in the position, she recommended you finish your masters program at the graduate school you dropped out of (or any grad school that had the same degree). She said the company would pay for it and you could do it while you worked.

But still. It left a sour, angry taste in your mouth.

Jungkook knows, somewhere in the back of his mind. That the words that are about to spill out of his mouth are going to upset you. But he says them anyway, because he thinks you need to hear them-

“If Hae-Ri said that she had a spot for you if you went back to school while working for her,” Jungkook says slowly, “Then isn’t it a no brainer? Your boss sucks, you complain about him and you deserve-”

“Back to school?” You scoff, “Everyone’s gonna be so much younger than me-”

“What does that matter? It’s just a year, and you’ll have your masters degree! Yeah, it’ll be hard to do it with work but you can-”

“I don’t wanna go back!” You exclaim (maybe a little childishly), and cross your arms over your chest. Annoyance seeps into you and you try your best not to get irritated at Jungkook. You know there is truth in his words but you don’t want to hear it just yet.

You’re not ready to face school again. You’re not ready to be at the same place that you had found out Appa had passed away. You’re not ready. Or are you?

“Why not! You don’t need to go back right away, Hae-Ri said-”

“I know what she said,” You say sharply, pinching the bridge of your nose with your brows furrowed, “You don’t need to repeat to me what she said, Jungkook.”

“I don’t understand,” Jungkook says flatly.

You start to notice his eyes losing its usual warmth, reminding you of the days when he would look at you so coldly.

You shiver. He instinctively reaches for you and you let him hold you close for a minute.

But the words come tumbling out of you, your cheeks blazing and ears burning, before you can stop them.

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” You mutter and he drops his hand from your waist as if he’s been burned.

Ice crawls through your veins, dousing you in something cold and unforgiving. You’re hurting him (again), and you can’t stop yourself. You can hardly stand yourself.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jungkook whispers, looking a little lost and a little heartbroken.

“It means you wouldn’t understand being too unable to take care of yourself to go to school,” You say, eyes narrow and jaw steeled, “It means everything’s come easy to you, Jungkook- fucking school, this fucking job-”

“That’s not fucking fair,” Jungkook says with a frown, “You’re deflecting and you’re being mean-”

You laugh. Mirthlessly. The hollowness seeping into your eyes makes Jungkook’s skin crawl.

“That’s me, baby. All I’m good at is deflecting and being mean. You haven’t caught on yet?”

“Stop,” Jungkook says firmly, hurt seeping into his voice as he levels his watery gaze at you, “You’re pushing me away. Stop it, baby.”

“Am I wrong?” You sneer, pressing your nails into your biceps. It hurts. You’re hurting him, it’s hurting you and you can’t stop running your mouth. You can’t stop the acid on your tongue or the daggers in your eyes.

You’re reacting this way just from the mere mention of going back to school. Pathetic.

“You have an opportunity to move ahead and you’re being stubborn about it because you don’t want to go back to school? I’m sure there are a lot of fucking hard memories associated with grad school but don’t take that out on me for wanting better for you,” Jungkook says coldly. While his eyes are icy, you still see the shine of unshed tears in them.

“I’m not being stubborn-”

“From all of this, that’s your response? That you’re not being stubborn?” Jungkook struggles not to raise his voice at you, feeling his chest burn with hurt.

“What else do you want me to say, Jungkook?” You throw your hands up in frustration, “I can’t make you understand-”

“I’m not telling you to make me understand,” Jungkook says, “I’m telling you to consider your future and your capabilities, you’re the one who fucking complains about work all the time-”

“Oh, well, sorry that we can’t be everyone’s fucking golden boy at work-”

“If you’re not gonna do anything about it, then don’t fucking complain-”

“Seriously? I can’t complain to my boyfriend now?”

“You’re missing the point, baby,” Jungkook sighs in irritation, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I can’t talk to you right now, not when you refuse to listen, and when you’re being spiteful.”

“W-what? What does that mean?” You say, nearly all of the fire extinguished from your belly at his words. He starts to put his jacket on, unable to look you in the eyes because if he does, he knows he’ll cry.

“W-wait, Jungkook,” You mumble, tugging his hand but he pulls it back as if you’ve burned him again, “Baby-”

“I can’t-” He squeezes his eyes shut, not noticing a few tears leak out. Your heart breaks in front of you- clearly you were too wrapped up in your own spiral of defense to realize how much your words were hurting him. “I don’t wanna be around you right now. Not if you’re gonna hurt me like this.”

“I’m-”

“I know you didn’t mean it, but you said it for a reason,” Jungkook says. His words make you tear up. “We can talk when you figure out why.”

“Jungkook,” You mumble, wanting to touch him but afraid he’ll reject you again, “Wait, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

He looks at you long and hard, heart cracking a little bit at the sight of your sad eyes. But you did this and you need to figure out why you were so defensive over going back to school. He deserves better than you lashing out at him for the mere mention of it. He knows it and you know it.

Jungkook wants to kiss your tears away, but he’s hurting, too.

You want to ask for a kiss, for a text when he gets home. But you don’t, and he’s almost out of the front door before he turns on his heel and brushes his lips over your hair.

You feel salty tears drop from your eyes with his touch as he leaves you with an unspoken ultimatum.

You end up texting Jungkook an hour after he left your house, just wanting to make sure he got home safely. It takes him ten minutes from when you sent the text for him to respond with a simple ‘yes’ and you’re too nervous to text him anything other than a simple ‘okay’.

You hold your head in your hands and groan to yourself, rubbing your temples.

How could you say the things you said to him so easily, without regard for how it might hurt him? Just because the topic of school always set you off- and it always has for the last five years and change. No matter how much time has gone by, how far you’ve come in therapy… there’s always something.

You bury yourself under your covers and sniffle, finally letting yourself cry. A hole starts to unzip inside your chest and all you want to do is bury yourself in it. Your words to him, to the man who always has treated you with nothing but kindness and smiles, ring heavy in your ears.

He’s too good for you. He’s too good for you- he’s too golden and good for you. You’ll only bring him down, won’t you? With all of this baggage that he didn’t sign up for. There was no reason for you to verbally spit in his face like that.

His cold, hurt eyes are haunting. You can’t believe you put that look on his face. You’ve been on the receiving end of it because of your own actions too many times now.

It makes your heart ache and it makes you cry harder into your pillow. You don’t know how long it is that you lay there, but at some point, Grandma crawls into your bed with you and holds your head in her lap. She rubs your back as you cry and sniffle your heart out.

By the time Grandma gently coaxes you to tell her what happened, your chest hurts and your eyes are puffy and rimmed red. She only sighs and lays with you in silence, until she sighs again in that way that you know she’s going to voice her opinion to you.

“He only wants you to have a future that you deserve, even if that means confronting things you don’t want to confront,” Grandma says wisely, “Even if you don’t want to hear it for him.”

“I know. Shit, I know. I hurt him, I hurt him bad,” You mumble, fresh tears pooling in your eyes at the thought of his big, brown eyes looking at you in that heartbroken way.

Another forlorn sigh. “You can fix it. Just talk to him, sweetheart.”

“I know. I will. I don’t think he wants to talk to me right now. I think I should have a therapy appointment first,” You groan, rubbing your eyes, “I don’t know why the thought of school sets me off so easily. And Kook is the last person… I hate that I hurt him.”

“I think you know why the thought of school sets you off,” Grandma says, giving you a knowing look.

It takes you a few days of self reflection (and actively not spiraling into the very tempting black hole of self loathing) to finally understand your reaction to Jungkook suggesting you go back to school.

It’s not like you haven’t had a similar explosive reaction before- Jin has always tiptoed about it with you. And Grandma has stopped bringing it up because you always shut down when the topic arises.

Perhaps now is a good time to examine why- after all, you’d only hurt your boyfriend’s feelings so much that he can barely stand to speak to you apparently. You both have been speaking normally, sharing chaste kisses when you can but you can tell he’s holding back a little, to give you both the space you need.

It’s only been a few days but you’re so sad without him. Knowing that you hurt him the way you did.

Jungkook feels like he overreacted a bit. He doesn’t want you to figure this out alone- he didn’t mean to just leave. But he couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t stand how… mean you were being. Mostly, he couldn’t stand how he knew you were doing it on purpose, to get him to drop the topic.

He hopes you can come to an understanding with yourself. But he wants you to lean on him when you need to as well.

So when you text him asking if you can come over later that evening, he immediately says yes.

You don’t text Jungkook when you arrive, only knocking at his door. He greets you with surprised eyes and pulls you inside immediately, pulling you into a tight hug right away.

He feels as if it’s been forever since he held you last.

“Hi, honey,” You mumble, feeling tired with longing, “These are for you.”

It’s a bouquet of some of his favorite flowers, his favorite purples and pinks in your hands and he wants to kiss you in gratitude, but he follows your lead.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Jungkook replies and takes your bag after putting the flowers in a vase and takes your hand, leading you to his bedroom. You feel a little nervous, afraid of how much you might have hurt him. Afraid of what he thinks of you now.

But he pulls you into his arms and cradles your face in his hands, the tips of his fingers melting into the warmth of your skin. Your eyes well up with tears for no reason and it stuns you that this man affects you to this degree. Maybe you should be a little more surprised, but you’re not. Not really.

“Hi, baby,” He says quietly and your heart seizes. Jungkook says your name again and pulls you into his chest for another longer hug and you hum into the warmth of his torso. Your hands are hesitant, yearning to touch his arms, his chest, his face. But you have a lot you want to say before any of that so you pull away reluctantly and sit on his bed.

“C’mon, let’s lay,” Jungkook murmurs, pushing his black and grey duvet and squeezing your hand. You feel a little lightheaded but you follow his lead, relaxing in his embrace as he cuddles you from behind. His chin is hooked over your shoulder, arms tight around your waist, lips brushing over your neck. You hold his tattooed forearm, mindlessly drawing lines and circles over his skin.

“I have to say something,” You finally mumble after a few minutes and turn in his arms to face him. His touch is never too far, always around you- always gravitating to you and making you feel warm and safe.

“Okay,” Jungkook says, eyes wider than you’ve possibly ever seen him. You can’t help but want to kiss him, but you hold back. Just until you say what you need to say.

His hands are soothing over your back as he encourages you. So you tell him- you tell him how your last therapy appointment went. You tell him how you’ve reacted this way to anyone who bothered to bring school up to you whether it’s Jin or Grandma. You tell him how the thought of graduate school instantly takes you back to the day you were in class and you received a phone call from the hospital telling you that your father had passed away.

You tell him how sometimes it feels like you’re living in a movie, a never-ending reel of the worst thing to happen in your near 30 years of life. But…

“It doesn’t feel so terrible these days,” You murmur, “It feels like an ache most times. But not as overwhelming as before… I think maybe I didn’t- I didn’t handle my grief in the best way. And it took me this long to realize it.

“You know, I started realizing it when I saw you that first day. In the office. When I was such a bitch to you-”

Jungkook stops the self-deprecating spill of your lips with a chaste kiss.

“You… you’ve changed me in a lot of ways, Jungkook. And I know we haven’t been together all that long,” You whisper, your voice choked and low, “I always want to be better for you, with you-”

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut as your throat closes up. This is hard for you, to bare your heart out like this. But if there’s anyone you want to be vulnerable for, it’s Jungkook.

“What I’m trying to say is… you’re right. I can’t keep living in the past when I have opportunities to be better and it’ll be hard work to dissect those feelings but… I want to do it. And I’m sorry for what I said, for taking all of that out on you. You didn’t deserve that-”

“I’m sorry, too,” Jungkook murmurs, surprising you, “For telling you that you shouldn’t complain. Of course you should complain. And I want to be the one you complain to. I’m sorry for just… leaving when you were clearly going through something.”

“Jungkook, no,” You shake your head and push his hair back, thumbs gentle over his cheeks, “If you need space from me or for anything… you never need to feel bad or guilty for that.”

“Okay,” He says almost shyly, “I know it must have been hard to talk about this. So, I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah, but… I want to make this work with you more than I’m afraid of facing those memories and fears. And just in general, I mean, I just want to try to be better. And you’re worth it, Koo-”

He holds your face in his hands, eyes drawn to yours- stars meeting stars and you sink into his sheets at the calm, welcoming fire in his gaze. His lips are on yours before you can blink, swallowing any potential noise of protest that might come out of your mouth.

It’s only been a few days but you missed Jungkook, you missed his warm smile, the heat of his hands, the comfort of his broad shoulders and the way he fits against you. His nose is pressed to your neck, large hands instantly floating under your shirt to feel as much of you as he can.

“Koo,” You mumble, pushing lightly at his chest, “Are we okay? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook mumbles, pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth. He tastes a bit like his mango chapstick (his current favorite). He leaves his lips near yours, pressing his cheek to yours as much as he can. You thread your fingers through his hair, dancing along his scalp and he sighs contentedly. “We’re okay and I’m okay. I wanna be here with you while we get through this together. Are you okay?”

You hum in agreement and wrap a leg around his waist, suddenly feeling very, very tired. His shirt is loose in your grip- he can tell how exhausted you are. Because he’s exhausted, too. Jungkook only holds you close under his covers and waits for your breaths to even out before falling asleep, too.

When August comes around, the final workshop for the big submission does, too. The last workshop will take place in Tokyo, which you’re excited about. Because you and Jungkook had decided to go to Tokyo to spend the weekend together. Meaning you’d be leaving on Friday evening to reach Tokyo around 9:30 PM.

You’d made sure Grandma would be okay, insisting that she call you or call Seokjin if anything happened. She scoffs at you but reassures you that she will. She says she’ll be spending most of her time with her close friends in the area, anyway.

You’ve only been dating Jungkook for four or five months now, and teetering on the edge of something more for maybe six months. You wonder if it feels too fast- the speed with which you open your bleeding heart up to him should scare you, but it doesn’t. It feels natural with him.

You’ve both voiced your concerns to each other- fear that you were moving fast and would tire of each other. Or that you were moving too fast to properly assess your feelings.

But both of you agreed that you both felt comfortable and trusted each other enough to speak up if you were uncomfortable. So traveling together for a weekend didn’t feel terribly out of your comfort zone.

You were excited to be with him completely alone, too. Without the stress of work or Taehyung or Grandma to hear you.

Jungkook thinks you both need time alone, too. To see how you’d work as a pair.

You’d taken it upon yourself to plan a few things around Tokyo for the weekend. You wanted to take him to a few places that Appa used to take you to. Maybe it was too much for a fresh relationship, but you want him to see the parts of you that grew up here, too.

You feel incredibly exposed, your heart and soul on display as you hold Jungkook’s hand in yours. Old memories of Appa and of this park spill from your lips fondly and Jungkook only listens with wide, sparkling eyes. Vulnerability drips from your tongue and he swallows it up eagerly.

A light breeze ruffles through his hair and you stop him mid-stride to stand by the lake. The clear water glimmers with the sun, blue and purple petals floating over the water slowly. You lean over the railing and Jungkook encases you with his arms on either side of you, his chest pressed to your back.

“We used to fly kites here,” You say wistfully, “Right over there-”

You point at the other side of the lake where trees shroud the corners with brightly colored leaves. “And always get food from the food carts right outside the park.

“And this is where I was that one time we were here for the workshop. I came here before that happy hour, too.”

Jungkook kisses your cheek and you lean back, letting your head rest over his shoulder as his arms snake around your waist. There’s nobody around, even though it’s relatively early in the morning. The only sounds that can be heard are your own breaths, and the softness of the birds chirping and the wind whistling.

“The happy hour when the night before I hurt your feelings,” You murmur, “I’m sorry I said everything I said to you. And I’m so sorry I was so… mean and bitter to you in the beginning. You didn’t deserve that.”

You turn in his arms, wanting to see him, and cup his cheek. Letting your thumb trace the mole below his lip and over his cheeks.

“I’m scared,” You confess, “I’m scared that I’ll ruin you and break your heart. Because I’m still in pieces sometimes. I like you so much but shouldn’t I seek love from someone else only after I learn to love myself?”

“I can love you as you learn,” Jungkook murmurs, kissing your forehead, “Self-love doesn’t mean you don’t have to accept love from others, baby.”

Another strong breeze tickles your face, caressing Jungkook almost tenderly. “Sometimes I like to pretend like winds like that are Appa and he’s saying hello,” You say sheepishly with a watery laugh, “I think he likes you.

“I’m scared, Jungkook. But I want to be scared with you,” You exhale, tears dotting your eyes and a small smile on your face.

Jungkook pulls you close to his chest, wrapping his arms around you tightly and rubbing your back soothingly. “‘M gonna take care of your heart, princess. You’re always safe with me.”

You immediately burst into tears, because you trust him with your soft heart and you believe him. He only smiles at you, tears rolling down his own cheeks as he thumbs yours away. Jungkook kisses you softly, squeezing your cheeks together and you can taste the saltiness of your tears on your tongue. You deepen the kiss quickly, pouring all of your trust and respect for him onto your lips.

He drinks you up easily and bends his knees a bit to scoop you by your thighs and lift you up, even spinning you a bit as his lips stay pressed to yours. You pull away first with a dazed, watery giggle and push his hair away from his forehead to press a kiss there.

You feel weightless and airy in his arms, your hands steady on his shoulders as he spins with you.

You could love this man- you already love his wide, crinkly-eyed smile, the way the tips of his ears turn pink when you fluster him, the way he is so considerate and charming.

“Jungkook,” You mumble, pushing his hair back again, “Take me back to our hotel, baby.”

Jungkook can’t keep his hands off of you, not with the dim lights of the hotel lobby making your hair shine, not when you stand in front of him in the elevator and lean into him as his arm lazily wraps around your waist to pull you closer. His nose tickles your neck as he drops kisses to your cheek, smiling against your skin when you laugh lightly.

The elevator dings. You both stumble out, holding hands as if you’re love drunk on each other and it’s not 7:30 in the morning.

You push him against the door once you key yourself inside, impatient and hands wandering. A choked noise escapes his lips but it melts into a moan when you press into him.

Jungkook can’t keep his hands off of you, not with the way you breathe his name out as if it’s spicy honey on your tongue. Your legs remain wrapped around his waist as he holds you by your thighs, his hands digging into them. You’re secure in his arms- the fact that he can hold you up so steadily, so easily has you rolling your hips into his and moaning into his mouth unashamedly.

“Shit,” Jungkook groans into your ear, a little desperate, “I want you so bad, baby.”

You hum in agreement, lips pressed to the spot behind his ear. The spot that you had quickly discovered in your relationship that he liked. He stumbles for half a second before dropping you to the large bed and hovering over you.

Jungkook impatiently tugs at your blouse, trying his best to unbutton it as carefully as possible. He curses under his breath, shooting you a playful glare when you giggle at him. He unclasps your bra easily and once you shuck it off to the side, his mouth is warm and wet against your bare chest. Your giggles turn into soft sighs of his name.

Ever since he had realized how much you like the feeling of his mouth on your tits, he couldn’t get enough. You’re so sensitive, almost all the time, and this time is no different.

You always try to push him away but coax him back for more.

Your small hands are ghosting over his chest, glazing over the ridges and dips of his abs and of his pecs. You tug on his shirt and pull it up and over his head, tossing it to the side to join your own clothes. His fingers are heated as you lightly scratch over the trail of hair dipping into his shorts from his navel, but you only tease him and palm him through his clothes.

You’re so impatient. You unbutton his shorts clumsily and gently yank his boxers and his shorts down his thighs, always surprised that he’s almost completely hard already. But it doesn’t take much for him to get hard with you.

You spit into your hands and wrap a hand around his cock, lazily stroking him.

Jungkook’s eyes are wide, breaths staggered at the sight of your freshly painted glossy lilac nails around his cock.

“Koo,” You mumble, “So big, Koo…”

Your face is warm as you meet his darkened, lust blown eyes. Jungkook catches the sliver of determination in your own eyes as you continue to stroke him- you’re determined to have him in your mouth.

The last few times you’ve tried haven’t gone so well- every time you’d tried taking him in your mouth, you’ve always coughed and gagged heavily to the point of your eyes watering and Jungkook felt bad and told you that you didn’t have to blow him.

“You don’t- oh, baby,” Jungkook groans, biting his bottom lip and struggling not to close his eyes when you take him past your lips. You try your best to control your breathing through your nose and alternate between teasing him with kitten licks and stroking him.

You look up at him from your spot on your knees and take him a little deeper, just like he taught you. Your eyes are already watering, vision starting to go blurry but you’re nothing if not determined. Your hands are loose around his strong, muscular thighs and you squeeze.

“Like that, princess,” Jungkook mumbles, watching you with half lidded eyes, trying to stop himself from fucking your mouth.

But maybe you want that.

“More tongue, baby,” Jungkook encourages, “Don’t forget to breathe through your nose.”

You hum around his cock, the sound inadvertently causing him to thrust into your mouth. But you squeeze his thighs in encouragement, wordlessly telling him that he can fuck your mouth if he wants to.

“Mmm, you feel so good,” Jungkook moans, hand cradling your cheek and wiping a stray tear, “Look so pretty like this…”

“You can take me, princess,” Jungkook murmurs, and you take a few more inches of him down your throat without gagging, “Good girl…”

Your belly flips at his praise and you’re eager for more to spill from his pretty, reddened lips. Jungkook curses, his voice low as his thighs tremble with each stroke of your hand and each pull of your mouth. He can’t get enough of you like this, you on your knees with wide, watery eyes just for him. Just for him.

His dream girl.

Jungkook abruptly pushes you away from his cock, saliva trailing from your lips with a pop! You look at him in confusion but he unbuttons your shorts quickly and tugs your panties away, hardly appreciating the new pretty purple panties you’d bought specifically for this trip. You hardly have an opportunity to pout about it, before he sharply kisses you, molding his hips to yours.

He swipes his hand over your pussy, getting a feel for your wetness. You’re so wet already, just from kissing him and from having his cock in your mouth.

Jungkook groans into your neck, biting your skin lightly and you gasp when he slides into your wet warmth easily. Wrapping your legs around his waist and reaching behind him to squeeze his ass, you kiss moans of his name into his heated skin.

“Koo,” You mumble raspily, breath hitching when he stills inside you, “I want you-”

“Gonna take care of you, my dream girl,” Jungkook says softly, cupping your face. Your heart stutters in your chest at the sincerity of his kiss, the stars in his eyes and the adoration in his touch.

Something sweet is at the tip of your tongue but you swallow it down, instead losing yourself in his touch along your hips, your tits, your thighs. Anywhere he can reach you.

Jungkook presses his forehead to yours and rocks into you, again and again and again.

“One more, princess,” Jungkook says hoarsely, thumbing away your stray tears, “Gimme one more-”

You whine but it quickly turns into a broken moan of his name when he gently rolls his hips into yours and rubs your clit with his thumb. Your eyes are glazed over but focused on him, a thin sheen of sweat coated over your soft skin.

“I can’t…” You mumble, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and turning your face to the side. But you both know that you can. Jungkook’s eyes dip to the place where you’re both connected in between your legs and marvels at your puffy pussy. You widen your legs further despite the slight soreness already settling in for him to get a better look. His fingers ghost over your pussy and you shiver at the oversensitivity that his mere touch brings.

“Yes, baby, you can,” Jungkook says softly, “Nice and slow, just like this.”

“O-okay,” You reply, tipping your chin up for a kiss. You feel like jelly, like you’re floating on a cloud, with Jungkook right by your side. When you finally do cum, with soft, sinful murmurs of his voice in your ear, it’s quiet and warm. Leaving you buzzing from head to toe.

You clench around him, the feeling of his cock inside you becoming almost too much to bear. But you don’t want him to pull out, just yet. After all, your baby hasn’t cum and you can feel how hard he is.

“Koo,” You murmur, threading your nails up and down his very defined back, “Baby, you feel so good, make me feel so good…”

You won’t lie, sometimes the dirty talk feels clumsy to you as it comes out of your mouth. You think Jungkook is better at it than you are, and you’ve told him that, too. He only denies it.

You pull him down closer to you, your breath fanning across his cheeks. You squeeze around him despite your own sensitivity and he groans out loud, eyes closed. Jungkook sits you up and brings you into his lap with his cock still inside of you, throbbing with the need to cum.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, fingers gentle against his scalp. You lean forward and nip his earlobe, giggling when his hips stutter. Your mischievous touch dips down his chest, scratching at his navel.

Jungkook abruptly cums into the condom, possibly harder than he ever has, with your gentle, feathery touches and your soft murmurs in his ear. He moans your name and holds you close, arms tight around you and keeping you plastered against his chest as he rides his high out.

“Holy shit,” You breathe with a slow smile. Jungkook hums and lays you on your back, laying with you for a second before pulling out of you and discarding the condom on shaky legs. You’d make a comment about how cute his ass looks, but you’re too tired to. You get cozy under the covers, watching him flit around the room with sleepy eyes.

It’s hardly ten AM and you’re ready to go back to sleep.

You must have drifted off at some point, because Jungkook is wrapped around you, his head on your chest. He’d cleaned you up, too and you drowsily kiss his forehead before slipping back to sleep.

After all, the rest of the weekend is still yours. Work doesn’t begin in Tokyo until Monday.

tags: @koo-zy

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook fluff

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