#i am going to throw up i’ve never wanted to see something animated more in my entire life than these next two episodes

[kommetz]

I wonder why I thought to ask everyone for advice about asking her out. I think lately I’m not holding in my feelings as much anymore.

also i will die if i don’t talk about flower symbolism so…

(sorry about the red video bar i am Bad with computers)

Red roses - love

Specifically, red roses symbolize romantic love. From day one, Tsubomi has been the apple of his eye. She’s the catalyst for Mob’s grow and is (plot-wise) considered the “end game” of his character development.

Pink tulips - love, affection, good wishes

Unlike red, which is reserved for romantic love, pink flowers can symbolize love for friends and family as well as romantic partners. Although they’re a little more ambiguous, they represent positive feelings like joy and affection towards others.

As a side note, yellow tulips in particular are symbols of friendships so think if that what you will.

White lilies - purity, innocence, rebirth

White lilies are one of the most popular funeral flowers. In general, white flowers often have connotations of purity or innocence. Mob’s desire to confess to Tsubomi has been a strong motivating factor in his youth. This event symbolizes the “death” of Mob’s innocence, though this isn’t necessarily a bad thing (though all things considered the short term ramifications aren’t exactly great). For something to go through a rebirth, it must first die. This marks an end to one chapter in Mob’s life and opens another.

Marigolds* - strength, jealousy

A flower with very opposite meanings! Considering that this is both a display of Mob’s power (his strength) and his hatred of it/his jealousy of people without psychic powers, both meanings can apply here.

Buttercups - happiness, youth

Buttercups are associated with children and their youthful joy. Similar to innocence with the lilies, this is a sign of Mob’s development throughout the story. Through blood, sweat, tears, and emotional turmoil, he’s grown up. That’s the very core of the story: growing and learning how to become a more whole person through both the people around you and your own willpower.

Buttercups are also poisonous, although their symbolic meanings are pretty much all positive. Mob earns the nickname “White T-Shirt Poison,” which I seriously doubt has an actual connection, but is a fun coincidence.

Sunflowers - happiness, loyalty, admiration, honesty/truth

[ Spoiler warning for anime-onlys. This will probably come up in the anime in a few days tbh, but just in case. ]

It’s right in the name with sunflowers. They turn their faces to sun, which is the root of many of its symbolic meanings. In one way, this is comparable to always looking on the bright-side or being optimistic/happy. Another interpretation is looking to the light in the same way you “shed light” on something. They open their eyes, turn away from the dark shadow of denial and instead face the painfully bright truth.

In the manga, after Mob’s explosion and the appearance of ???%, the sunflower in the bouquet becomes a reoccurring focal point during each confrontation between Mob and the people he’s met on his journey. On the left, Teru bares his gratitude and admiration for what Mob has taught him. In the middle, Ritsu admits that he’s always been scared of his brother’s power and that it’s taken him until now to let go of that fear. Each time Mob insists that “this isn’t him,” that he wants to stop, that this power of his is a separate entity. He can’t accept himself.

On the left, Reigen finally tells Mob the truth about not being an actual psychic. However, instead of being apart of the confrontation, we get this panel:

The bouquet rips apart, his childhood and innocence flying away in the wind. All that is left is a single sunflower:

He is ???%. ???% is him.

He accepts himself, his truth.

* i’m not 100% sure, but the small orange flowers look like marigolds to me. i also considered begonias and chrysanthemums, but ultimately thought marigolds fit the best.

[ghettogirly]

Hi lovely can you one for Armando x reader. Armando , Mike, Marcus, doesn't know what the reader does for a living. She find out thing before they do , skilled in everything. ( Whatever you want her to be). The reader takes the spot of reggie. Armando call her instead of Marcus. They get scared for her but just wait until they find out.

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄:

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑!

𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏.

-> synopsis: Where armando calls you to warn you that you have trouble coming you way and to go hide somewhere safe. Little do they know, you can do more than hide.

-> warnings: spoilers for bad boys ride or die, mentions of violence.

[🕷️] author’s note: thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

Your first encounter of Armando was when he was released to be the new member of AMMO to repay his debt to the state for his crimes. He walked in with his father, Mike, in an alluring manner. You was a helper for the team, however currently unemployed. Failing to find your place in society.

The mexican-born male wore a black co-ord , tight to his chest and flattering in all the right places. His hair slicked in gel, the sides of his head faded with a scar at the side of it.

You both grew quickly closer, spending each day with each other even with the stares of judgement people descended onto you.

“He has killed countless people.”

“He’s a criminal, they should lock him up and throw away the key.”

“Armando Aretas. The animal who should be put down.”

It did hurt you for a while, leading you to deny your feelings for him. Until one day, after a passionate night with him, you tried to briskly leave in the middle of the night.

“Where are you going?” The males voice croaked out, his voice deeper than usual due to the vocal cords enlargement throughout the night.

“I need to go home, i’ve spent too long being here.”

A scoff is heard.

“Yeah. No surprise there. Running out of excuses are you?”

“ Its not an excuse i just have something to do at..”

“Guárdalo, solo vete. Te han lavado el cerebro las opiniones de otros y no quiero escucharlo más. Ahórrame los detalles.” Venom dropped off the latino’s tongue as he dismissed you away. Sadness overcame you as no words came out of your mouth.

Days went by, Armando never spoke to you. Tension flushed by you guys whenever you was by each-other in a room. One day, you couldn’t handle it no more and you grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn and look at you.

“I’m sorry. You’re more than just an animal or a criminal. I know i don’t even deserve for you to forgive me but i need to get this off my chest. I am so sorry Armando.”

You feel his arms engulf you in a hug as tears roll down your cheeks, embarrassed at how easily influenced you were from everyone’s opinions. “no llores mi amor, I forgive you.”

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏.

“Hey guys, we’ve got trouble.”

Armando’s shoes pounded down the wooden steps as he swiftly walked to Dorn’s computer, his nerves rising as he sees the blonde’s frantic typing on the keyboard below. “What’s wrong?”

The cameras on the computer pointing to every angle in your house, yet, 3 armed men slowly creep up to the front door. Ready to raid, they point their rifles towards the door. “Tenemos que tomarlos ahora!” One masked man, whisper shouts in spanish, their emotions covered but their body language is prevalent. He is tense.

Dorn shifted his position to turn to Armando, his brows furrowing, “Are these your people?”

He shook his head, “No.”

Time stood still before he realised the severity of the situation, rushing over to the phone he picks it up and rapidly taps your contact. “Mierda! Pick up the phone..”

A few seconds of beeps echoed around the room, the only thing filling the air of silence. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“We have no time. Take Uncle Marcus’s wife and go hide. Now.” His words dropped with warning as he kept it short and sweet.

Your eyes widen as you hear his stoic words. Quickly whipping your head to the side, you gather your godmother and hide in the closet. A loud bang blasts through the room as footsteps clatter along the floor, moving in a tactical fashion as they scan the house for people. Armando quickly runs to the cameras, looking at the masked men quickly run through the house, weapons pointed at every angle. “Fuck..”

A moment passes and you slowly slip past the closet door, gripping your fingertips on the cold, wooden pane, you slide by the counter and quickly exhale. “Lord, please protect me.”

The woman slowly slides her hand up the counter top, reaching for a knife before calculatedly turning left while peeking around. A second passes before you see an outline of a shadow descending down onto you. Slowly looking up, you see a gun pointed towards you. “Shit.”

With a quick whisk, you slice the knife through his leg, the man drops down and shouts in pain as you slit the masked man’s throat. Taking his gun, you push forward back into the living room where the rest of the men were. Angling yourself, you shoot the man in the corner before whipping the man in front of you with the rifle.

“Damn, that bitch can fight.”

Randomly another man whisks you around, taking you in a loose headlock. The sound of a gun goes off and the man falls back in anguish, brushing yourself off you turn around and shoot him in the head.

A quick moment goes by and by the end of it, all men are dead. The carpets and floorboards stained with a crimson red as you pant for air. You quickly run back to the closet, “it’s safe now. let’s go.” You say to Marcus’s wife, embracing her in a hug before you both hurry off.

Not before, you look up at the camera and smile. Blowing your pointer and middle fingers to represent a gun, before winking.

“You’re welcome.”

The male turns to the rest of the crew and grins, followed by a slow whistle.

“Seems like we know what she does after all.”

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

“Guárdalo, solo vete. Te han lavado el cerebro las opiniones de otros y no quiero escucharlo más. Ahórrame los detalles.” - Keep it, just leave. You've been brainwashed by the opinions of others and I don't want to hear it anymore. Spare me the details.

“no llores mi amor” - Don’t cry my love.

“Tenemos que tomarlos ahora”: We have to take them now.

“Mierda!” - Fuck!

[gaysindistress]

Things that I feel like would happen when you’re in a relationship with Astarion.

I started playing bg3 and i have it bad for this vampiric menace of a man.

misc character masterlist

Warnings: blood drinking, he’s a vampire so yeah

1. He’s basically a cat but gods forbid you tell him that.

I have a tortie and let me tell ya, she is the sassiest animal I’ve ever met. This cat will climb into the closet just high enough that the dogs can see her but can’t reach her. She will jump into the counter and stare at me because she knows she’s not allowed up there. She will bat at the screen in the window until it pops open and she can escape. But jokes on you! she doesn’t actually escape, she just goes to the back door and meows until someone lets her in.

Anyways this is exactly how Astarion is. He’s sassy but hides it as being a witty nobleman when he’s really just being the sass master. He will do things purely to get a reaction out of people i.e. when he attacked you the first time you met. There was no need to try and pull one over on you like that but he did it anyways because he can. If you get too close to Gale (aka talk to him), he will pout and give you the cold shoulder because gale ‘is such a bore and I’m obviously better company than that, darling.’

He will make the biggest scene if he feels like your attention is being pulled away from him. Oh you’re talking to Shadowheart by the fire later than usual? He’s glowering at your back from his tent until you look over your shoulder at him. When you make eye contact, he’s going to roll his eyes and huff as he throws open the tent flaps. Shadowheart chuckles under her breath because she knows exactly what’s happening.

The longer you’ve known each other, the bolder he gets. He’ll add more each time. At first it’s just the staring and huffing. It moves to glaring at your companion and then waltzing over to you so he say something sassy like “I am not your mother. I should not have to drag you to bed each night.” When that stops getting the reaction he wants, he’ll plop down next you and make every annoyed noise known to man. He might even start to nudge you, extending out one delicate hand to touch your knee or elbow until you get the hint.

But don’t you dare call him out on this. Like a cat, Astarion needs to feek comfortable safe with you. If he gets even a whiff of negativity (or what he thinks is), it sets your relationship back weeks. Pointing out his little feline quirks will feel like you’re complaining or annoyed with him and he can’t handle it. He’ll pull away from you and resort back to his stand offish ways. He’s making sassy but lowkey hurtful comments all of the time. They’re not directed at you because he would never forgive himself if he upset you but that sentiment doesn’t extend to anyone else. Worst of all he won’t feed from you and would damn near starve himself before asking you.

It’s a delicate dance between the two of you but one you would never quit.

2. Feeding from you is difficult for him.

At first it was merely a means to an end but then you became more important to him and now he can’t bring himself to feed from you as much. He would rather never do it but alas blood is in limited supply and you’ve already given him permission to take what he needs. If he can, he finds some other way but it doesn’t always work out. You’ve never asked him why he seems to avoid such a normal task but it’s always on your mind and one night you blurt it out.

I imagine it’s been a long few days and tonight is the first time you’ve been able to relax. Freshly bathed, fed, and now sipping at decent wine, you’re lounging with Karlach and Shadowheart. The three of you have had more than enough wine to be relaxed and have passed over into what Astarion calls ‘delightful chaos’. You’re giggly enough to be entertaining but can still hold a conversation albeit slow and slurred. Your pale elf has been cranky all day and poor Gale has been the target for most of it. You tried to step in and at least lessen Astarion’s onslaught but that earned you the nastiest glare to date. Since then Astarion has been sulking in the shadows or hiding in his tent. You’re the only one brave enough to go near him when he’s like this however it’s still rather dangerous.

On clumsy feet you find yourself just outside of him tent where you can feel the brooding and angst wafting from inside.

“Astarion?” You gentle whisper to the fabric, awaiting his acknowledgment.

“What?” His response is short and biting, similar to how he’s been speaking at Gale.

Assuming he doesn’t realize that it’s you, you say his name again and ask if you can come in. He nearly brings his tent to the ground when he rips open the flaps.

“What?” He repeats with fury and pain in his dull eyes.

It should scare you, seeing him so feral and unrestrained but seeing him causes a wild smile to break out on your face. Your hands go to reach for his face but quickly they fall when you remember that everyone is watching you closely. Whatever wine you drank has given you an armor of courage (and stupidity really). You smile at him with all of the affection you harbor for this ethereal being and slide past him into his tent. The simple action sends everyone else into high alert while Astarion barely contains the hiss he wants to send their way.

When he turns around, he finds you already sitting beside his bedroll with your knees pulled up with your arms wrapped around them.

“What do you want?”

All he gets in response is a blink and then a beckoning to join you. Patting the space next to you, you quietly ask him to join you however he is determined to be cross with you for barging in. He repeats his early question with a hardened glower in your direction.

“Astarion…” you murmur to him, your voice low and gentle, “you need to feed.”

The sheer audacity to utter such a thing infuriates him to no end but you’re right. He does and the sanguine desire is growing far too large to hold in anymore.

He still tries to deny it but his words are unusually weak and he stumbles over each one.

“Come,” you order softly as you move to lay down on his bedroll and brush your hair away, “drink what you need. I trust you.”

Those three words are almost as powerful as a declaration of love to the vampire spawn. He finds himself crumble to the ground and crawl over your divine figure. The unholy need to devour you that he usually despises with his entire being is welcomed as his fangs sink into your neck. One of your hands comes to hold his shoulder and the other cradles the back of his head, keeping him close as he feeds from you. Your gentle touch and reassuring voice overwhelms poor Astarion. He begins to whimper and moan into the supple skin of your neck without even realizing it. When he pulls away to keep from completely draining you, he’s breathless and muttering to himself you how good you taste.

Why he would ever deny himself this divine experience?

3. He refuses to admit it that he loves when you initiate touch.

Because of his past, you’ve decided that you will only touch him if he asks and if you get explicit consent. Most of the time you wait until he invites you in some manner whether that be he telling you to get over here or paw at you like a cat. He appreciates it, he really does but sometimes he craves the feeling that he gets when you ask him.

His favorite, though, is when you ask him if you can lay in him when he reads. You’ve been napping in his tent on and off all day, having chosen to stay back and recoup after the long events from the past week. Most of your companions have been doing the same but Astarion has been trying his hardest to not spend too much time around you. It’s hard enough to not just bask in your affection but even more so when you’ve been cuddled up in his tent all day. When you finally decide to go to your own tent, he takes the opportunity to reclaim his bedroll. It smells of your sweet scent and is still warm from your body, something he secretly craves.

You return to his tent a few hours later after everyone has eaten and settled in for the night. Peering down at him with sleeping eyes, you cross your arms and huff when he ignores you for his reading.

“Yes, my dear?” He quietly chuckles while still pretending to read his book.

“You’re in my spot.”

“We’re in my tent therefore it is my spot.”

You can’t exactly argue with him. You plop down next to him and give him the biggest puppy eyes imaginable.

“Will you at least let me lay on you if you’re not going to move?”

If it could his heart would be doing flips and his cheeks would be red but alas neither thing is truly possible.

“That depends…” he pretends to be uninterested in your request and continues with his straight face as he flips to the next page in his book. He can hear your huff of annoyance and fails to hide the small smirk that tugs at his pale lips.

“On what?” You pry even though you both know this is just a little game and he’s going to give in.

“Ask me nicely.” He drawls in that low seductive voice he uses when he’s trying to persuade you. Finally he flickers his eyes over to yours. That simple action alone steals your breath and chases away any negative feelings you might’ve had.

You crawl closer to him, nearly touching him but not quite as you whisper your request again.

“Of course you can, my dear,” he whispers back while his smirk has fully taken over his face. “Lay your head here."

He pats his sternum and waits for you to settle. Much like a lover seeking warmth in the night, you immediately take refuge in his arms and cuddle as close as you can to him. You feel him set his the book on your upper back when you've found the comfort and warmth you sought.

Astarion begins to murmur the book’s words as his other hands rests at the base of your head. His fingers don’t yet feel confident in moving to thread into your hair but they do softly rub at the tension in your skull. Peace is found in your embrace and he couldn’t be happier that you asked him to join your party all those weeks ago.

[hyuckswoman]

« remind me why I’m here again please? » your bestfriend renjun says as he takes his shoes off to enter your place

you told him to come extra early because as always you were nervous as shit and needed someone to vent to before meeting up with mark near the park

« renjun please stop taking the piss out of me before I get where you are and get violent » you say as you’re heading to the kitchen going to grab something to drink

« I am literally not making fun of you, also I haven’t completely made my mind up on whether I should ditch you or not so I’d watch it if I were you » your bestfriend says sitting on your couch

you watched amused from the kitchen seeing how comfortable he is around your place, it made you happy to see such an important friend to you ease so well into your living space

« you’re here because i gave mark flowers and never want to be alone with him ever again » you say handing him the glass of water 

« you do realize that if you actually want something to happen with mark, you’re going to have to hang out alone with him even if you’re nervous about it » you bestfriend says sighing

« i don’t even know if I want something to happen with mark it’s all so… quick and scary you know? and also I have hung out with him alone before like right after my finals for example?? » you say throwing yourself on your couch to really emphasize the dramatic effect of the whole thing

« true, but anyway you’ve had a crush on mark- or sorry hallway crush on mark for like two years? and now that you guys are finally getting to know each other that’s when you wanna back off? » your friend says not really understanding you 

« like you said, I’ve had a hallway crush on mark for a long time, it was fun pretending that he definitely looked at me and that he’s in love with me just because he glanced at my direction for a micro second. It would make me laugh so hard having mark in my vicinity and going to tell you guys about it saying how he practically proposed to me. But now that I actually got to know him, he’s nice and we’re friends and I get along with him. I don’t want to have an actual crush on mark where i seriously start to overanalyze whatever the man does to comfort me instead of the funny delusions i used to have. I don’t want to have an actual serious crush on mark because I don’t want to lose him as a friend. I thought I was doing a good job but that fuckass flower bouquet oh my god.. my hands were so sweaty and I was so nervous, I didn’t want him to think that I was weird and I was so scared and I feel like that’s not a reaction that I want to have when being with mark, I honestly don’t know where my feelings stand today and it’s not something I wanna find out. that’s why I need you here for support today » you rant to your friend not even bothering to look at him in case you start to actually get emotional or something 

« can’t believe I’m only here to be your emotional support animal or whatever » renjun says getting up from the couch (probably to refill his glass)

« noooooooo don’t say that, you’re making me sound like an asshole » you say voice muffled as you’re hugging your friend from the back (or more like hanging off of him while he very painfully drags you to the kitchen)

« you are an asshole » he replies to which you only nod, it was fair after all. 

« but whatever I’m here so unless I start to feel like a third wheel I’ll be by your side the whole time so you don’t have to worry, now go get dressed now cause otherwise we’ll be running late » renjun finishes 

as you head into your room you softly smile finding comfort in the fact that no matter how badly this whole mark situation ends, you’ll still have your friends to back you up

you were standing next to renjun who was sitting on a bench complaining about the park that was- and i quote- a longer walk then what you told him. as you were about to speak to get him to shut up you hear both your names being called 

« hi, I’m sorry I hope you guys didn’t wait for long » mark says

holy shit the man looked good. suspiciously so. 

« no we just got here because the walk was THIRTY MINUTES and not fifteen like she told- » before your best friend could finish his sentence you put your hand over his mouth, you had ENOUGH

« renjun, i love you, really you know I do now PLEASE ENOUGH » you say as renjun puts his hands up innocently and mark laughs 

« do you guys know what you wanna do? » mark asks to which you both shrug 

you looked at your surroundings spotting a cool cafe that seemed cozy enough for you guys to stay in so you pointed at it and in a mutual agreement they both nodded

« so how long have you guys been friends? » mark asks you chuckle quietly seeing how hard he was trying to make this less awkward (it also reminded you of when he did that the first time you sat next to donghyuck)

«  i don’t even know man, i only remember seeing his drawings and i was gagged, i thought he was the coolest person i had ever seen in my life… little did i know tho » you say earning an elbow to your side from renjun

« omg wait renjun i didn’t tell you… mark congratulated us for being in a relationship the other day » you say as mark immediately gets red and renjun looks at you in confusion trying to decipher if you want mark to believe that you’re dating him so he should play along or if he should tell the truth 

« i’m sorry, it’s just the tweets, i believed you guys were dating.. man why would you tell him im so embarrassed now » mark says and before you could reply your friend bursts out laughing 

« cmon now.. the thought of me dating you surely isn’t that fucking funny » you say cause why the fuck was he laughing that hard

« yes it is oh my god… yea no not in a relationship not now not ever » he replies as you just frown 

«  you know what? ningning would never treat me like that, i’m going to ditch all of you for other people i can’t keep being disrespected like that » you say, mark raises his hands up

« what did i do?? » he defends himself « you’re laughing!! » you reply to which he only nods 

« so you take piano lessons? i’ve heard you play before and have a hard time imagining what you could possibly learn more » you say trying to make conversation 

« no haha, i give piano lessons to a child, i do it here and there to make a bit of money » mark replies

« damn, maybe i should do something with my life to get a bit of money too, i’ll like babysit or something » you say more to yourself than anyone 

« babysit?? i don’t think anyone in their right mind should trust you with their kid » renjun says 

« i have to start somewhere though i mean look you sell your art, make gives piano lessons the fuck am i supposed to do?? » you reply sipping on your drink

« i’ve just got this crazy idea.. what if you like gave bass lessons? » mark says pretending to be enlightened because… duh? why would you consider babysitting when you can play the bass?

you just shrug at him because you weren’t in the mood for reassurance which you know would come if you told the two men you’re eating with that you couldn’t give bass lessons cause you’re not talented enough 

as you were sipping on the (very overpriced but very good) drink you ordered you stopped for a second to watch your bestfriend and mark just being completely in love with each other. you giggled quietly remembering the whole speech renjun gave you about putting yourself out there to catch mark’s attention when as it turns out he’s the one stealing your man from you

« why am i third wheeling right now » you say with a smile on your face, this whole situation was just too funny 

« yea, that’s crazy, i didn’t know we would get along so well. renjun, i was so intimidated when she told me you were coming » mark says

« i’m glad i’m here though, you really are nice i understand why jaemin and y/n like you so much » renjun says somehow emphasizing the fact that you ‘like him so much’ 

« cmon now i don’t like him THAT much let’s take it down a notch » you say defending yourself. mark was going to eventually figure out you liked him but it was definitely NOT today 

« you’re so obsessed with me oh my god » mark says laughing

as you guys were heading out of the café (after multiple hours of you third wheeling) renjun turned to both of you guys. you expected the worst seeing his quick apologetic glance he threw at you 

« guys i’m so sorry i’m gonna have to go but please by all means continue your hangout i wouldn’t want it stopping just because i leave i mean after all i wasn’t even supposed to be here in the first place » he said. he looked so apologetic you almost couldn’t get mad at him. 

almost. because you knew him too well and knew for a fact that he did not have anything planned at all and was just ditching you guys to make you hang out with mark alone. how did you know? first of all the fact he so clearly insisted on the hang out not being over just because he left but also because of the small smile (more like smirk) he was so desperately trying to fight. asshole.

as he hugs you before leaving he whispers in your ear « you’ll do fine i’m sure of it, and if you don’t then i owe you for life or something » then he left. and suddenly you wanted to kill yourself 

« you can leave if you want, i won’t tell renjun i promise » mark says looking..apologetic? 

« huh? » you answer because why was he looking at you like that

«  i know you didn’t wanna hang out alone with me and i don’t want to make you uncomfortable so you can leave » mark says not even looking at you anymore suddenly finding the ground much more interesting 

« it’s crazy how big of an asshole i must be oh my god. i won’t leave though, not unless you want me to. i’ll be honest i didn’t want to hang out with you alone because i thought you would find me weird since i gave you a bouquet and i got nervous » yeaaa…. that’s definitely why yup! 

mark bursts out laughing « that’s why?? dude i really loved the bouquet you shouldn’t feel nervous. and we’ve hung out alone before so bouquet or not you shouldn’t feel nervous with me we’re friends » he says putting his arm around your shoulder (you would’ve totally freaked out if the man hadn’t called you his friend right before doing that)

« i’m glad i got to meet renjun though, you guys seem close » he says removing his arm from your shoulder ( ☹️ )

« yea renjun is an amazing friend honestly i wouldn’t trade him for the world, he constantly reassures me and takes care of me i really wonder what good deeds i’ve done to deserve the man » you say

« sounds like you might have a little crush » mark teases

« nah, i love renjun to the core but it’s really not like that, he’s my twin flame my best friend, i’m just immensely grateful for everything he’s done for me » you finish your rant, mark only nods somehow understanding what you’re telling him

« oh there’s another park not far away let’s go » mark says

«  im down » you answer 

once arriving to the park, mark automatically goes to the playground, an action that made you chuckle a bit

« dude check out there monkey bars, i used to be so good when i was younger » mark says climbing on them 

« really? i hated those so much i only went on the swings and slides » you answer while mark calls you boring

after three hours of talking (and playing) it was now getting late so you both decided to go home, with mark walking you there of course. 

you were now in front of your apartment 

« thank you for agreeing to go out with me today. i’m glad we’ve moved past the awkward stage of our friendship. thank you for the flowers again, you never fail to make me feel special, i hope one day i can make you feel that too » mark says 

« duuuude you are special i’m not even doing anything. also i’m glad we’re friends too. and you need to stop thanking me for the flowers it was nothing » you answer

« maybe it wasn’t much to you but it means so much more than you could ever imagine to me. anyway i won’t bother you any longer, goodbye y/n » mark says 

« bye mark » you say waving at him before closing the door. 

you make him feel special. 

35. third wheel

previous chapter masterlist next chapter

notes: this chapter had me stressed omg (none of this is proofread so if you see any mistakes.. no you don't tf) (i say this as if any of my chapters are proofread lol) (to the 💎 anon i saw your ask n yes you can be 💎 anon (i haven't answered bc i'll answer when i publish your req) ) ALSO to every other person that requested smt i wll work on it just not now as my finals are coming up lol

also idk if anyone noticed (you probably did not) but not only a new mark nickname unlocked but also a new contact name?? ohhh these two are ADVANCING (i also had a full mental breakdown (almost cried) bc my taglist wasn't working and wasn't tagging anybody?? so ply tell me if it didn't work for youuu)

taglist (open): @imsiriuslyreal @iscocohere @simpforarmihn @replayenthusiast @lovm4rk @youreintheclubb @polarisjisung @sour-chaos @jising-jisang-jisung @aerivrs @multifandomania @tiddygang2020 @roseangelxfuma @skepvids @morkiee @yangasm @artstaeh @pussyslayerhd @bacons-thighs @bugcattie @leefullsun @jkslvsnella @alethea-moon @marvelahsobx @haechansbbg @katsukis1wife @winuvs @n0hyuck @whats-my-question @jaehyunastico @hibernatinghamster @user7520 @m1dn1ghtv1olet @starwonb1n @lostinneocity @miniature-tragedy @llearlert @haezyhyuck @inosfavgf @bluesinfinities @calumsfringe @cigarettesafterjae @defzcl @delfdiary @minkyuncutie

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Playing Video Games With Gen

Gen Narumi X FemReader

Rating: T

Warnings: Arguing, reader’s temper flares and she destroys something, reader is a little stressed, sprinkle of angst, fluff at the end

Word Count: 894

(A/N:) This has been in my drafts for a good long while! But now it will finally see the light of day! I hope everyone is enjoying the Kaiju No. 8 anime so far! I am! Saturdays have become so exciting for me and I’ve been watching the episodes over and over. I just adore this story and I can’t wait to see more moments come to life! But until next time enjoy this little piece! Happy reading! ~Countess

Dating Gen Narumi had it’s ups and it’s downs. But the First Division leader was good at what he does. From killing kaiju to slaughtering online players in the gaming universe. While you enjoyed playing video games every now and again, life always seemed to take up majority of your time. That and the threats of kaiju constantly threatening the innocent civilians. So it was a rare moment when you got to sit down to play by yourself, let alone with the man known as the Force’s Strongest Combatant. 

You found yourself in one such rare moment. It was a rainy day and so far no kaiju threat had emerged. So Gen invited you into his office where he wanted to play games. Surrounded by his figurines and sitting in a comfortable chair before his large gaming setup, you were furiously smashing buttons while Gen sat at your side smirking obnoxiously. Gritting your teeth, trying to come back at the last second only to lose the round. Cursing viciously, you were just about to smash the controller when Gen’s larger hand encircled your wrist.

“These controllers are very expensive babe,” he smirked.

“You can afford a new one captain,” you snarled, temper still flaring. Still Gen refused to release your wrist. Guiding you to sit back down, he brought your hand close to his face, where he brushed tender kisses to the skin of your wrist. You started calming down until he bit down on your wrist playfully. With a hiss you ripped yourself away from his grip and sent his precious controller flying. It shattered against the wall with a satisfying crash.

Normally Gen would freak out, bursting out with a childish tantrum. But as he glared at you, emotions raging inside his eyes, you knew you royally screwed up. Quietly Gen walked over to the destroyed controller, scooping up the pieces and throwing them into the trash. Guilt eating at you, you knew that your temper got out of hand, so you walked to him to help him clean up the mess you made.

“I’m sorry Gen,” you apologized immediately. “I’ll buy you a new one. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shook his head, “It’s okay. I’ll replace it. I shouldn’t have teased you so much.”

“No it’s not you. I lost my temper and all you were doing was playing with me like you usually do. I guess I just have so much stress on me right now. It’s no excuse but I’ll try better.”

“I’ll let you win some,” he offered.

“Ha! Don’t let me win you goof,” you laughed tossing the last plastic piece into the wastebasket. “It’s no fun that way!”

“Well that was my only extra controller,” he ran his fingers through his two toned hair. “Wanna go get a new one together? The walk may do you some good if you’ve been overwhelmed here lately.”

“It’s raining though,” you whined.

Gen chuckled, standing back up and offering you his hand. “It’s okay! You aren’t sweet enough to melt!” You stuck out your tongue but took his hand nonetheless. 

Walking down the streets of Japan hand in hand with Gen Narumi was something you probably would never get used to. With the stares and whispers encircling you both. It didn’t help that his phone would keep pinging in his pocket from people posting about the handsome captain whenever he made an appearance. Normally he would be scrolling through all said posts and ignore you, but on this occasion as he held your hand and the umbrella above your heads, he could do no such thing. You stepped into him tightly, enjoying the warmth of his body heat as the rain relentlessly beat against the umbrella.

Making it to Gen’s normal electronic haunt and purchase in tow, you both made it back to Gen’s office in record time. It helped that the rain only had picked up heavier as you both were out. Setting it up and handing it over. You couldn’t help but notice that he had purchased the controller in your favorite color. 

“This one will be yours whenever you want to play,” he kissed your cheek. “And maybe if it’s yours you’ll take better care of it.”

You laughed before kissing his cheek back, “Thank you Gen. You know how to treat a girl right.”

“Of course! Now ready to lose some more?”

“Who knows I may get lucky,” you grinned viciously a plan already cooking in your mind.

You wound up winning a couple of rounds, though you did have to resort to cheating. Gen couldn’t play when you knocked his chair over during a critical time in the round. And apparently he didn’t enjoy having feet anywhere around his head. So you took to sticking your toes against his cheek or blocking his vision, with said feet. Though you did pay dearly for cheating as Gen tickled you mercilessly, leaving you both breathless sprawled out on the floor. You couldn’t help but wish for more easy days like this. And though it had started out rough, this was what you needed. Just to be around the man you love and have fun. It was like the tension you had been dragging around for weeks melted away, just from the looks he gave you and you knew that Gen needed this as well.

[munsonfamilyband]

I’ve decided to elaborate on Steve’s Mom being good

~~~~

“Elizabeth Harrington.” She didn’t usually answer calls but Richard was busy preparing for his meeting that afternoon, so here she was answering the cellphone she had bought so that Steve could reach them at any time.

“Hi there, are you Steven Harrington’s mother?”

“Yes… who am I speaking to?” There was a pit of worry growing in her stomach, somehow she knew this wouldn’t be a nice conversation.

“I’m calling from Hawkins Memorial Hospital. Your son has just been admitted and is being treated for infected animal bites and a potential concussion. We’re calling because your son has a history of head trauma and we wanted to inform his family that he is being treated.” Her heart stopped for a moment, barely able to hear over the ringing in her ears. Her son, her only son, her baby, was in the hospital. What did she mean infected animal bites? And history of head trauma? What had she missed as she allowed Richard to drag her all over the country.

“Thank you, I-we will be there as soon as we can. We will be there, thank you.” She hung up before the nurse could respond and, blinking back tears, began gathering her things and throwing them into her suitcase. As she was folding up her skirts, Richard walked into the bedroom and raised an eyebrow.

“What are you doing?”

“We need to leave, I just got a call from the hospital at home, Steve is there, he-“ She was interrupted by Richard scoffing and she looked up to see him roll his eyes.

“We can’t leave, Elizabeth. I have a very important meeting this afternoon. Besides, Steven will be fine, he was last time.” Elizabeth froze, her blood going cold as she stared at Richard in dawning horror.

“What do you mean, last time?”

“The boy is so needy. I got a call last summer from that hospital that Steven was there, something about his job at the mall, I don’t know. We were in the middle of that big merger and I said he would be fine. And he was, when we came home-“

“We didn’t come home until late August, that merger was around the fourth. My son was in the hospital and you never told me?” The cold numbness she had felt just moments ago was disappearing, fast, and replaced by a burning hot rage. Fury that she had put up with this man for so long, that she had let him do so much to her son, that she hadn’t noticed that her son had been hurt last summer. “Who do you think you are to hide that from me?!”

“I am your husband, and I can hide whatever I like from you. The boy is fine, he doesn’t need more of your coddling.” In that moment, anger coursing through her veins, Elizabeth made a quick decision. Straightening her back, she turned away from Richard to begin packing again.

“Fine, if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to. I will go by myself and be with my son.”

“How exactly are you planning to get there? You’re not taking my car.”

“I don’t need your car. In case you have forgotten, I am the one with the money in this marriage. I have my inheritance, and the house- speaking of,” she grabbed the phone, dialing a number and turning to face him as she put it to her ear. With a grin, she heard the bank correspondent answer and ask what they could do for her. “Hello, I am looking to remove someone from my account.” She stared at Richard with a smug grin as she recited the account number and told them who she wanted removed. “And if you could add a message or something in your books to let anyone know that if he tries to access the account to not let him and call the police, that would be greatly appreciated.” When they confirmed that the note had been recorded and her account was all hers, she thanked them and hung up. “You can keep the parts of my inheritance that I gave you, but the rest of it is mine.” She took great pleasure in seeing how red his face was before turning back to her luggage and zipping it up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see my son. You should be getting a letter from a divorce attorney in a few days.”

She left the room without saying goodbye and got in a cab, heading straight to the airport. Elizabeth thought she should be crying, she had just ended her 30 year long marriage after all, but she felt like screaming instead. Screaming about how free she felt for the first time in her life.

The airport was full of people running around, clearly trying to get somewhere but being stopped by something. It wasn’t until she caught sight of a TV screen that she realized what was happening.

“7.4 Magnitude Earthquake Rocks Hawkins, IN”

She starts walking toward the counter faster.

———

After managing to charter a small plane to get as close to Hawkins as she could, then getting a cab that was willing to drive into Hawkins, Elizabeth found herself running into the hospital and fighting her way though the crowd of people to the nurses station.

“I’m looking for Steven Harrington, I got a call a couple hours ago that he was here-“ A voice behind her spoke before the nurse could.

“You’re here for Steve?” She turned and saw a group of the most dirty teenagers she may have ever seen. She could vaguely recognize two of the children as Sue Sinclair’s but she didn’t know their names. She did recognize Nancy Wheeler, though she had thought her and Steve weren’t dating anymore.

“Nancy?” The girl mirrored her own confused face, brow furrowed as they looked at each other.

“Mrs. Harrington? What are you doing here?”

“I got a call in Chicago that Steve was here and I came as fast as I could, what are you…I thought you and Steve weren’t-“

“Oh! No, we aren’t dating, but we are friends and he got hurt so….here we are.” Nancy gestured to the other people around her, including a girl her age in a red beret that was staring at her like she was an alien.

“Right….” Just as she was about to ask who the others were, a nurse tapped her on the shoulder and informed her that she could come back to see Steve. Elizabeth didn’t even stop to say goodbye to the group of children she had just seen, all she could focus on was seeing her son.

When she entered his room - after having to go into a new wing with men in black suits standing in front of the doors - she nearly collapsed. Because there was her son, lying in a hospital bed with bandages wrapped around his head and neck, looking so small in a way he hadn’t since he was little. She stumbled forward and the noise she made had Steve jolting, looking around the room like a cornered animal. She hurried closer and grabbed his hand in both of hers, getting him to focus fully on her.

“Steve, sweetie, you’re okay, it’s just me.” He squinted in her direction before something like shock covered his face.

“….mom? What are you…what are you doing here?” Her heart cracked at the hesitancy in his voice and she felt tears drip down her cheeks.

“I got a call from the hospital earlier, I got on a plane and got here as fast as I could. Your father….well, he’s not here.” Steve stared at her, processing her words as he blinked slowly.

“Why now? You didn’t come last time, why now?” She could see the tears shining in his eyes that he was fighting back and her heart cracked all over again.

“Oh, my sweet boy…. If I had known, I would have been here.”

“What…what do you mean, if you had known? The hospital called, how could you-“ He cut himself off and his eyes widened slightly. “Dad….dad got the call, didn’t he?” She nodded sadly, knowing that no more had to be said. Reaching forward, she cupped his cheek with one of her hands, rubbing her thumb gently under his eye and she smiled sadly as he leaned into it.

“I’m leaving your father.” Steve’s attention snapped back to her, trying to sit up in his bed and she quickly shushed him, guiding him back to laying down. “I should have left him years ago. All the things I let him do to you….I am so, so sorry, Steve. I should have done this a long time ago but I wasn’t brave enough. Finding out that you had been hurt enough to be in the hospital and he never told me… that was the final straw for me. I already took him off the inheritance account.”

“Mom…. That- I am so proud of you. I can’t imagine how scary that was-“ She brushed that aside with a wave of her hand.

“We can worry about that later, me being on my own is not the most important thing right now. Steve, baby, what happened? They said you had infected animal bites, and-and a history of head trauma? How much…. How much have I missed in your life?” They stared at each other in silence and she watched Steve thinking about his next words very carefully. His careful thinking didn’t do much good though when his tears came back with a vengeance.

“Mama….” Immediately she was wrapping him in her arms. He hadn’t called her that in years, ever since Richard insisted that she was coddling him too much. He was only 8, but out of fear or a need to please, she had listened and the nights of watching movies with him curled into her side had ended. They had been so close when he was little but had drifted apart after that moment. Now, she knew that she wouldn’t leave him again because here he was, crying in her arms and calling her mama for the first time in a decade.

“It’s alright, my sweet boy, it’s alright, I’m right here…”

———

When Steve had calmed down some he was able to tell her everything, after warning her that she would have to sign multiple NDAs just by hearing what he had to say. She was horrified, and angry, and she wanted to kill her husband for dragging her away from her son when he had been fighting monsters for years without her even knowing. Once he had explained it all, she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Do you mind if I step out? I’m going to go call an attorney to get the divorce process started now. I want to be done with your father as soon as I possibly can be.” He nodded but was having a hard time letting go of her hand, so with a gentle smile she took off her jacket and handed it over to him. “I promise I will be back. Do you want me to send someone else in while I’m gone? All of the children you adopted are in the lobby.”

He gave her a dry smile, clearly feeling better if he could sense her joke. “Could you send Robin in?” He was holding onto her jacket for dear life, and with a pang she was reminded of him clutching his teddy bear the same way when he was little.

“I can do that. Is Robin…?” She wanted to know everything she had missed, and if he had a girlfriend then she wanted to know.

“Robin? Oh, god, no. The kids joke that we share a brain sometimes, but I think we have twin souls. I haven’t….I don’t have the match to my soul yet, but Robin and I, ours are identical. She’s my best friend.” Elizabeth knew what he was talking about and smiled as she left the room. As a child he had been obsessed with soulmates, he took after her romantic heart. He had said he wanted to meet the person whose soul completed his, but she had told him that wasn’t how it worked. His soul was already complete, but his soulmate would have a soul that added to his, like paintings in a series: complete works on their own but they become something bigger when they are together. He had clearly taken that idea to heart and was trying to find that person.

Stepping into the lobby she found it mostly empty, clearly people had been moved to see their loved ones. With a gently cough to get the groups attention, she spoke. “Which one of you is Robin?”

The girl in the beret sat up straight, staring her down in an almost challenging way. “I am. Why?”

“I have to make a call and he’s asked if you could go back.” The girl stood and narrowed her eyes at her.

“What? Couldn’t even stay with him for an hour before you had to run off-“

“Robin!” Nancy cut her off, clearly telling her to be nicer but Elizabeth appreciated the girl’s fierce protection of her son.

“I’m calling a divorce lawyer so that I can finally leave Steve’s father. I want to get it started as fast as possible so that neither of us has to deal with him far any longer than we absolutely need to.” The girl blinked at her in surprise and Elizabeth placed a gentle hand on her arm. “I know I haven’t been there for Steve, and I hate myself for how long I let it go on. I know he and I will have a lot of things to work through, but I am not planning on leaving him again. I’m glad he has a friend like you, though. Finding someone who matches you on such a deep level is rare, and if anyone deserves that, it’s him.” The girl nodded at her with wide eyes and Elizabeth walked away to go find a phone.

When she returned to Steve’s room later everyone else had moved into the space, including someone on a second bed closer to the window. Steve noticed her first and reached a hand out to her.

“Mom…” Without hesitation, she pulled a chair over and sat down beside him, clutching his hand in hers and pressing a kiss to the top of it.

“Hi, sweetie. The attorney is finalizing the paperwork and then sending it to your father so he should be getting it in a few days.” Steve gave her a tired smile and then looked around the room.

“Do you…do you want me to introduce you to everyone?”

“If you feel up for it, I would love to meet them.”

“Alright, well you know Nance and you already spoke with Robin.” He gestured to the girls sitting on the other side of his bed before nodding to the little girl curled up in a chair by his feet, resting her head against his leg. “That’s Erica, you and Sue Sinclair were friends right? She’s her youngest. Lucas was in the waiting room but he’s with Max next door, he’s Sue’s older kid. Max is his maybe-girlfriend, it’s complicated.” Elizabeth smiled at the little girl who had curled one fist around the blankets of Steve’s bed. She could hear Steve slurring his words a little from exhaustion but he kept talking. He looked over at the other bed where a boy his age with long hair was sleeping, covered in bandages, and another boy, younger than Steve but not as young as Erica, who was sleeping on the couch under the window. “That’s Dustin on the couch, he’s the one whose cat got eaten, remember? And then, uh, that’s Eddie, in the bed. He’s-he’s new, this is his first go around, and he got really hurt but they said he’ll be okay.”

Elizabeth managed to school her face into a neutral expression when she saw the blush that colored Steve’s cheeks when he spoke about Eddie. She could see in his eyes and hear in his voice that he was well on his way to being smitten with the other boy but she didn’t want to startle him too badly. So she decided to wait to speak to him about that until later.

The time finally came a couple hours later, Steve had just woken up again and everyone else had fallen asleep so Elizabeth took her chance.

“Steve? I know I haven’t been great about showing you lately, but I do love you very much. And if, for any reason, you had something you wanted to tell me, I wouldn’t stop loving you.” He blinked at her, the blush rising up his neck once again.

“Uh, well, I know I said I hadn’t found the match to my soul yet, but that may not be fully true.” She gave him a smile and glanced over at the other bed.

“I can see what you see in him, he’s your type.” Steve turned bright red.

“He’s-what-I don’t-what do you mean by that?”

“Well, he looks a lot like Nancy is all. Big curly hair, large eyes. I also know how you felt about that man in the space movie, the one who did that treasure hunting movie?”

“I-Mom are you talking about Harrison Ford?”

“Yes, that’s his name! I can tell when you like someone, Steve, and you always paid more attention to those movies.” Steve just groaned in embarrassment.

“I can’t believe that you picked up on that.” He glanced at her, the nervousness back on his face. “You aren’t… you don’t care, that he’s a guy?”

“Steve, my beautiful boy, all I want is for you to be happy. Besides, I have a cousin back in Italy who just married a man a few years ago. I thought it was rather romantic, that they decided to get married even if the law wouldn’t recognize it.” Steve smiled at her, tears in his eyes.

“I’ve missed you so much, mama.”

“And I’ve missed you, sweetie. Go back to sleep, you need your rest.” He nodded at her and in moments he was back to sleep.

She knew they had a lot to do, a lot of healing both on their own and together to get over years of trauma and trust issues, but she knew, somehow, that they would be okay.

[a-clown-with-wings]

can I have an outline of how you draw bodies for reference please ^^ if u can and want too

I’m not good with tutorials because I’ve never been asked, but I’ll try my best tee hee

Also forgive the crusty art, it’s 2 am and I’m drawing mermaids.

Now, personally, I have a very different style that’s mainly culminated of many other styles that I have studied from other artists that I like, so this might not work for you or any other person that sees this, but I think trying in general is a big step in the right direction!

1. BLOCKING!!

Funny enough, I just started this step very recently, so if anything, it’s just an extra step to make sure everything is right. It’s actually helped me quite a lot since I have problems with anatomy and posing, so I really recommend it as a first step.

Think of it as a really messy sketch. In this step, you can do literally anything without being upset for getting frustrated because it doesn’t look right. It’s just a silhouette of an idea that you will expand on in the next step. I also recommend this for character design since silhouette is a BIG part of it and can make or break a line of characters. The last thing you want is for everyone character to look like a recolor of each other. ^^’

2. SHAPES!

I cannot stress enough how important shape language is for literally every single thing. Everything is made of shapes. People, animals, buildings, food. It all can be broken down into squares and circles. This is a part of anatomy that takes a little study, but once you get it, you get it.

For me, it’s changed a lot, but to put it simply: trapezoid and triangles. That’s all you really need for torsos really.

Now, for people of different body types, that’s a whole different story. Of course pear shaped people are not going to be built the same as people that are under rectangle or apple. That’s for another day, though. Slow and steady winds the race. If you take in too much, you’ll stress yourself out.

3. DETAILS!

Warning! If this part stresses you out the most, you are not alone.

I am better at drawing women and femmes because that was what my first Ocs were, so I’m still learning maize anatomy, but whatever. Nothing to worry about now.

This is completely reliant on what the person looks like. People have different bodies so not everyone is going to have a perfect hourglass figure. That being said, simply making the body wider or taller is not enough!! People have fat, it’s just one of the many things we are made of. Some people have more, some have less.

Think of it like a blanket almost. If you were to put a bed sheet over a chair, you would be able to see almost everything regarding the shape of it. If it was made of something thicker, like chunky crochet yarn, it would be harder to see the shape of the chair underneath. That’s putting it very simply. Things like muscle and stuff would be like throwing clothes onto the chair before putting the blanket on. Not a nursing major or anything, so take this with a grain of salt. I’m a stupid little guy.

It would take me forever to explain all of this, so I suggest looking into it on your own time in order to get a more in depth understanding of bodies and stuff like that. :)

EXTRAS!

If you haven’t noticed already p, which I completely understand, I am not that good at robots. I joined fnaf when Security Breach came out cus I like Suna nd Moon and I started this account with the intent of gaining an audience for my other Ocs. You goobers reeled me in and now I’m stuck here.

Anyway, when it comes to metal people, I draw them slightly different. They don’t have organs or anything, and are video game characters, so they don’t need a space for them. And nothing is better than saving space :)

I also make their bust a literal circle because I come on this app each day and see someone else draw them better and I start to sob uncontrollably. /j

This is completely up to you since people draw them all kinds of silly ways and I see no problem with that.

I don’t know how to end this but I hope this helped in some way :)

[sirianasims]

A few days later I made my way to GeekCon, feeling excited.

For one weekend every summer, the famous Casbah Gallery was completely transformed and filled with cosplayers, merch stalls, and a plethora of geeks.

I had never been able to attend in person, Copperdale was too far away, and the online pass just wasn’t the same.

The gallery shop, normally selling tickets and art prints, was now filled with comics and collectibles, snacks and toys. It was honestly a little overwhelming.

I decided to start from the beginning and looked at the MySims display. I had quite a few already, but I really wanted Violet. She was a little expensive though.

I went through my budget in my head and decided that she would be my reward when I hit 50,000 subscribers. Then I moved on to the Voidcritters.

Everyone knew Voidcritters, but it always felt a bit too much like a children’s game for me. Still, I did occasionally stream myself playing video games, and it might be nice to throw in something more casual – although few Voidcritter fans had anything resembling a casual relationship with the game.

Either way, it could get me some new viewers.

My train of thought was derailed by a guy next to me clearing his throat.

“Hi… uh, are you Jules? From DesignedByJules?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I knew I recognised you! Sorry, I’m Marten, I’ve followed you for years -“

He stopped abruptly.

“OK, it sounds super creepy when I say it like that, but I do follow your channel. Do you play Voidcritters? I’ve never seen it on your streams.”

“I’m considering it.”

His eyes lit up.

“Who are you gonna main? Please don’t say Vulpes, newbies always pick Vulpes just because it’s one of the main characters.”

“Actually, I…”

“You should go for the Earth types, everyone thinks Void is special but Earth is actually stronger if you know what you’re doing.”

“Actually, I was considering Wind. I kinda like Meduso.”

Marten wrinkled his nose.

“Wind is kinda finicky though. If you’re starting with a Common critter, you should try Nymphaea.”

He gestured to one of the decals on the wall.

“If Nymphaeas are in danger, they produce these fungal spores that invade animal hosts so they can propagate the species in a safer environment. In episode 19 there was a bunch of Nymphaea that took over a flower shop and started reproducing like crazy and Leif had to free his friends from their hypnotising pollen and relocate them to a remote nature preserve – the Nymphaea, that is, not his friends.”

“I see.”

I started moving through the shop and Marten followed, still talking at breakneck speeds as if determined to impress me. It was actually a little adorable.

“And you know how Vulpes is based on a fox and Suintor is a pig and such? Some of the fans actually believe that Nymphaeas are based on a real thing.”

“Except water lilies usually don’t have hypnotising pollen.”

“No, but what if something did? I saw this discussion on one of the fan forums once where someone claimed to have heard that there was a rare flower on Sixam that did something like that.”

“It sounds a little farfetched to me. I mean, most super powers are just made up, right?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. I guess we’ll never know where they got the idea from, none of the original creators of the show are still alive and there has been no communication with Sixam for decades. Maybe Sixam was never even real. They could have faked it all.”

I thought of the old pictures of a little blue boy in grandpa Eric’s house.

“No, Sixam is definitely real. My great-grandma went there.”

Marten didn’t seem convinced but dropped the subject. 

beginning / previous / next

[writer-by-the-sea]

for the letter if it’s cool

my farmer is dev he/him

he’s strong and hairy slightly shorter then Elliott his hairs always a mess grey eyes and brownish hair dimples and freckles he’s usually pretty blunt and cynical always overworking himself throwing himself into work but he’s got the biggest soft spot for Elliott he loves listening to Elliott’s sweet talking and just clinging to him whenever he can especially when he’s tired and overworked which ends up being most times honestly it’s one of the only ways he can calm down or sleep he gets protective incredibly fast and is always quick to gush over Elliott’s poems and letters

could I get praise and compliments about my body and how determined I am with work how much effort I put into everything and something along the lines of “when you get home I’ll hold you all night just relax I’ll take care of everything and show you how much I value you”

anyway that’s it I love your writing and blog you might be my favorite atm honestly and sorry for the shit grammar I sent this when it was really late couldnt sleep nightmares keep kicking my ass take care of yourself see ya

My dearest Dev,

As you were sleeping so deeply, not even waking as I kissed the cute freckles on your nose; I am leaving you this letter. There is something I need to grab from the cabin and I was going to invite you along with me, but my handsome man deserves his rest. Did you know that I get tired just watching you work? My soft hands will never be able to compete with your strong hands. How I wish I could kiss away each callus and give you all of my energy in the process. 

You work so hard… when you’re away from me, I imagine how you’re covered in dirt, digging in the ground to plant more seeds, dropping to your knees to pick up a duck egg that one of the chickens refuses to get off of, milking the cows and frowning when you accidentally spray milk into your face.

And you’re doing all of it for us.

I know, I know, you say this is your job, this is what you signed up for! I just wish I could give you as much as you give me. Your hard work provides everything I ever could have wanted and more. I feel like a gold-digging husband! I want you to know how much I love you, how much I appreciate everything you do for us..

Every morning I wake up next to the most handsome, hardworking, kind, strong farmer — and I feel so lucky. I cannot imagine a life without you.

I love you. I can’t wait to see you when I get back. I’ve already watered all the crops, so you should only need to care for the animals.

Hopefully, you can finish quickly; so we can cuddle in front of the fireplace with some sandwiches for lunch.

I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Elliott

[girldragongizzard]

Chapter 12: Nightmare

I remember that Wentin doesn’t feed on fear. It feeds on agreement. Specifically, agreement with it.

And the cheapest, easiest way it can get a bone deep agreement with someone is by terrifying and chasing them in a dream. They agree it’s scary and agree to run from it, and it agrees to chase them.

But other agreements work.

So, it’s not just going to be in the place I fear most, as it told me it would be. It’s going to be there when I agree that I need to see it.

But I don’t want to see Wentin for more training. Though I could probably use that. I don’t particularly like its form of training, and I’m not looking to get better at doing things myself. I’ve got plenty of time to learn new things.

I want to find Ptarmigan.

And I suspect that the local pre-eminent primordial nightmare can maybe help me get a line on the whereabouts of the Artist of Nightmares.

So what I need to figure out is where the place that I fear the most is, so I can go there and call it out.

And do I actually need to go there? Or just induce a dream about it?

And then, do I need to agree to more training for it to show up? Or can it agree with me about something else?

The fact that it feeds on agreement is really unnerving to me, by the way. There’s something extra predatory about that.

I sit alone on my roof in the middle of the day just thinking about this. Puzzling over it.

I wonder.

Is there a fear that I’ve been avoiding thinking about all this time?

Every time I’ve faced a challenge and tackled it like the dragon I think I am, without taking the time to really think about it, have I been just following my instincts? Or have I been avoiding something?

I think I’m asking myself this question because I know there’s an answer to it.

What have I been avoiding?

—

In my memories, I only have my true name now, Meghan Estragon Draconis. In my memories, it’s what my parents, my teachers, my friends, and my assailants have always called me.

The only time my deadname enters my life anymore is when some bureaucratic hiccup or a person who hasn’t been updated brings it up. And then it’s gone from my memory moments later.

Wow, my family reunions are going to be really interesting now.

—

“Hey, Meghan, you fucking queer,” Jessie spits at me, leaning into my face.

I reach up to wipe his spittle from my cheek and chin, but he grabs my hand and throws it away from me and down, my arm swinging to hit my own thigh.

“When are you gonna learn to stop existing?” he sneers. “How am I gonna teach that to you, huh? When you’re so fucking dense?”

The others laugh and cackle.

I don’t remember their names. I barely even recognize their faces. I just know I see them with Jessie wherever he goes. And I know Jessie because he’s the one who comes at me first. He’s always the one to lead the attacks. He makes sure he’s known.

In my head, I’m tearing them all apart right now. Blood everywhere. Entrails hanging from the lamps that dot the awning posts all around the school campus. Dragging bits of bodies up to the roof to be consumed so that they can bother nobody else again. An example to others. Food.

It’s such an idle daydream. Soothing because it can never be real, and the consequences will never happen. So I can visualize it with impunity.

If I was actually a dragon and did that, I’d be hunted down so fast. In order to avoid death by gunshot, trap, or any number of other things the authorities of the humans would have in store for a man-eating animal like me, I have to play a game of escalation, imagining tougher armor, a larger and larger size, sharper claws, hotter fire. And it gets ridiculous fast.

It’s best to acknowledge this is fantasy and just roll with it, and let it happen in my head so I can relax and take whatever blows are coming my way.

In the end, with every encounter like this, I become a martyr for a cause that nobody else knows or cares about. Me. And I endure it.

I squint.

It’s kind of weird and nasty that a group of boys is picking on a girl like this in broad daylight, right before school.

Isn’t there some kind of code about that? Where the girls pick on the girls, and the boys pick on the boys?

And then my gut explodes with the bruised ache of being impacted with a fist, and I double over.

—

I know now that girls sometimes do get ganged up on by boys, and the worst can happen, and the consequences of that are often infuriatingly light, if existent at all. But back then we had our illusions. Our ignorance.

But my memories are changing, too. Not just my name, but what I am.

Is that, like my headlong dive into fighting back as a dragon, part of avoiding my greatest fear?

I find myself asking, am I afraid that I’m fake? That I’m not really what I say I am? Or am I more afraid that it doesn’t actually matter what I am, they’re still going to come after me anyway?

And if it doesn’t matter what I actually am, if they treat me like I’m something I’m not and never have been, then am I effectively that thing anyway?

I’m not a man. I know I’m not. I have physiological and metaphysical proof of that now.

But I am, definitely, I think, acting like I’m afraid I’ll still be seen as one.

Because, if I’m not a man, but I’m treated like one, what’s the difference?

I don’t have the offending anatomy anymore. Despite the bullying, the presence of that part of my body actually always hurt me more.

But thinking about all this gives me memories of it, and I feel sick to my pelvis and my stomach, as if I’ve been kicked in both places.

I feel human, and weak.

Just from the memories.

And I’m rumbling in defiance of it.

I think.

I want to be seen as a person so that I have the rights and joys of a person. But I don’t want to be seen as a person, because then I can be hurt as a person by other people who don’t respect those rights.

And on this planet, person is also synonymous with human. And I was never human. I was just mistaken for one.

I’m afraid of being seen as human, of maybe really actually being human, because it means I have the responsibilities of being human. And so I follow my draconic instincts.

I think I’ve done a pretty good job of pulling back on that reflex most of the time.

But there it is.

I can try to pull that fear apart later, address it when I have the time, safety, and energy to address it, and unpack all the bullshit that’s wrapped up in it. Maybe in a counseling session or two.

Right now, though, I need to pinpoint the location, the place where that fear resides the most.

What place represents it?

What place triggers it?

What place contains all the tells and signals and feedback that informs me of how I’m seen and how I’m going to be treated?

The human face.

When I realize that, I feel like my gizzard ties itself into a knot, and I know I’m right.

—

I’m four again.

My mom has been showing me pictures of her family, including baby pictures of her and her siblings. And she’s been pointing out how their features all look so similar, and where they look different. She’s been trying to teach me something about heredity and just how to recognize people we know.

“What do I look like?” I ask.

“Why don’t you go into the bathroom and look in the mirror?” she suggests.

“The mirror?” I ask.

“Yeah. You know, the mirror. It shows your reflection, so you can see yourself. You’ve used it before, silly,” she says.

I don’t remember it, actually. But it sounds pretty fun! If I can see myself in the mirror, that would be really neat.

So, I get up and run to the bathroom, and Mom follows and helps me with the stool so I can get up on it and see more clearly over the counter.

But what I see in the mirror is the monster that chases me in my dreams, and I scream.

—

“It is just so droll, Meghan,” Wentin screeches. “It’s delightful how you got here anyway, despite being so off.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

Remember that dream I had where I could talk to the world’s dragons without words? I'm doing that now with Wentin.

We’re in my parents’ old bathroom, just the two of us, with its big wall sized mirror, guacamole green porcelain fixtures, and strange tiny floral print wallpaper. And I’m not a small child. I’m my grown self, as I am today. And Wentin is still in the mirror, instead of my own reflection.

I think I must have fallen asleep and in the midst of the nightmare I’ve taken control and made it lucid. Or Wentin did.

In any case, I’m calm and collected now. I feel determined. Probably because this is what I set out to do.

“It’s not the face or the mirror you fear the most, Darling,” it says. “It’s your own memories. Where we are right now. You came here to test your mirror theory and it worked anyway. I love it!”

“Oh, OK,” I say, genuinely not really caring at this point. I think Wentin is splitting hairs needlessly. But I’m here on my own business. “I need your help.”

“You're not going to question this?” it looks hurt and incredulous.

“I don't actually care about what I fear right now,” I tell it, puffing myself up. “That’s just the hoop you required for me to meet with you. And now I'm here, and paying attention to you, I don't need to think about that anymore. I need you to help me.”

“In what way?” it asks.

“Can you locate Ptarmigan? Or get her to come to us somehow?”

“Oh, I don’t think I can do that,” it replies.

“Could you try? I’m at a loss.”

“I cooouuulddd…” it says. “But I think I would need something in return, such as another training session with you.”

I sigh,”Don’t you feed on agreement? Couldn’t you just agree to help me?”

“You have it backward,” it groans. “Me agreeing with you would be like reversing the polarity. Energy would flow from me to you. You have to agree with me, in order for me to feed.”

“So, you really are predatory,” I exclaim.

“Of course I am! How could I be anything else? My dear Meghan, what do I even look like to you?” Wentin croons. “And you’ve known me for how long? How many hunts have we had? I feel disappointed.”

“I don’t think I’m OK with you,” I find myself stating.

“I’ve never asked you to be.”

“That’s… not reassuring.”

“Oh, come now. Have I not taught you well? Do you not have the reflexes you’ve needed to survive? Are you not currently free of Säure’s stomach acids? Or have I become mistaken as we speak?”

“Don’t do that.” I feel almost like I’m a different person when my thoughts are unimpeded by the need to try to remember English, and then to type it. I feel like I’m in more control, and it’s easier for my impatience with Wentin to express itself. “What are you trying to do by saying that?”

“I’d like to make you run, to flee,” it answers. “Agree to flee and we may yet find your Ptarmigan.”

I huff and sit down on my haunches. And then I lift my left foreclaw and nibble at it, pretending to remove remaining flecks of my last shed.

“You are no fun.”

“Wentin,” I say, looking back up at it. “Can we make a different agreement this time? Please?”

“I’ve just told you that I cannot work that way,” it says. “It is a matter of my own survival.”

The more that I listen to it, the less sympathy I have for this thing, even if it did drive me to realize some important things about myself. Even if it did attack Säure. And when I think back on the roles it’s played in my life, from my childhood nightmares to the early shenanigans and doubts about my Discord server and the network I was building there, I am seeing it as nothing but a force of chaos driven by its own hunger.

What’s the difference between feeding on coerced agreement and feeding on fear? In practicality, it’s the same thing.

Should I even bargain with Wentin, as I was prepared to do? To aim it at Säure again? 

Because that is really what I was intending here. I was going to tell Wentin that it could afford a small loss by agreeing with me in order to set up Säure for a long string of recurring nightmares it could milk for ages.

And even though Säure personally hasn’t done me all that much harm, I could write an entire book about why he still deserves it. Why it would be just a tiny portion of the coercion his weight as a billionaire has imposed on the world. Heck, even just locally. And I’m not even the most well equipped person to write that. I’m pretty sure there’s an independent library full of books covering that theory and history on the corner of Maple and Terrace, right here in Fairport.

But do I really want to be the one that wields this weapon?

I feel like in my journaling, I really haven’t made the case for it. Or even for fighting the enemy I’m facing. I feel like I’ve been leaning on the case of self defense, preventative measures, icky feelings, slim evidence that he’s a white supremacist, and just the fact that he’s a billionaire.

And, when I originally set out to find Ptarmigan to get her help, I really wasn’t anticipating that I’d be mulling the ethics of doing business with Wentin. But here I am.

I’m tempted, but repulsed while sitting in the clarity of just having turned a nightmare into something lucid.

Then I have a weird thought. An impulse turned into an idea. And it’s so compelling to me that I can’t help but lean well into it.

“Wentin,” I say.

“Yes?” it squeals with eager anticipation.

“Run,” I tell it.

“What?”

I rise up and put my claws on the bathroom countertop and then sink them into the formica and wood, letting the materials creak with the slow increase in pressure I apply. And I lean forward and open my mouth, breathing into my fire sacks as I lean toward the mirror, both eyes locked on Wentin’s.

“You’re a kind of bullshit,” say. “And as Rhoda’s queen I have been imbued with the power to be done with bullshit. Run.”

It backs up a couple of short steps, head turned slightly sideways, “You can’t do this.”

“Yes I can. You’ve scared me into lucidity, and now I’m in control,” I tell it.

“You are.”

“Run.”

“Run?”

“Flee.”

“I can’t.”

“Then I will roast you and eat you in pieces.”

And it bolts.

And that’s when the hunt begins, with the shattering of glass and the creaking of the sudden dark woods of my old nightmares that begin to surround us.

Wentin’s tufted tail dances just before my nose as I huff and gallop through the snow and mud, jaw cracked open to catch the air as I run through it.

—

Maybe I ultimately failed at my goal to avoid using coercion in my quest to quell Säure.

By instilling terror into Wentin and chasing it, I’ve only turned things around, and done what it’s been doing to me.

But it feels right.

And I’m pretty sure it’s going to get the attention of Ptarmigan, with a nightmare experiencing a nightmare.

Not that there’ve never been other people to do this with nightmares turned lucid. I’m sure it’s an ancient tradition, older than civilization. Wentin’s probably experienced this before, itself. It sure does know how to flee.

But for a while I was the center of Ptarmigan’s attention, being the original focal point of Rhoda’s storm. And I’m wagering that maybe I still have at least some of it.

—

Wentin knows what I’m doing, and it’s been through this before on both sides. It knows how to turn this around. It even cheered me when I turned it around the last time.

But it keeps running. Effortless running through the black trunks of the winter forest, its tail always just out of reach.

It told me that I need to agree with it, but it keeps running.

The chase goes on, and it’s not working.

Ptarmigan is nowhere to be seen.

I’m beginning to question myself and what I’m doing, and I guess I slow down to do it.

Wentin gets further and further away.

And when I notice this, I stop. I actually feel kind of tired, despite the fact that it’s a dream under my control.

I’m not really sure what I should do, and I’m considering waking up, when Wentin stops itself and turns to look at me.

It’s panting.

Its open mouth and showing of teeth is a threat and a challenge, but its relaxed posture and moderately sized pupils tell me it is comfortable where it is and with our relationship. The panting is for its breath, mostly. Heat regulation and oxygen intake, if that even matters in this dream world.

And then, when it sees me watching, its eyes dilate and its mouth closes for a moment. And then it’s bowing. Shoulders down, haunches high, forelegs out front, it yips and bounces. First to its left, then to its right, like a dog excited to catch a ball.

“Chase me!” it calls without sound, and then bounces a few steps further away.

Then it scampers forward and repeats the dance.

The yip becomes a bark and a whine.

I get it.

Now if I chase it, I’m agreeing with it, and it gets what it needs. And then, whatever it does, whether it keeps running, or drops to the ground in resignation and exhaustion, or turns to fight me, if I react accordingly, I am still agreeing with it.

And I could ignore it. I could refuse. I could turn it around again somehow, do the opposite of what it’s asking of me. But I’ve already done that.

This could go on forever, back and forth.

I could just wake up and be done with this dream. But then, later, when I fall asleep or delve into my memories to look at my old face again, Wentin could be waiting for me to start this all over. It also knows how to find me in the waking world. A lot of people do.

There’s no real end to it. There never was. We’ve always been chasing each other.

But this time, it has offered me a bargain.

If I agree with it today, it will try to lead me to Ptarmigan.

I imitate its bow, like a playful wolf reciprocating, and it jerks and twitches and jumps away.

And we’re off again, flying through the woods, propelled by claws in the snow.

And Wentin’s spooky whistling fills the air with glee.

[make-me-imagine]

One Piece (Live Action) Requests: OPEN

I keep feeling the desire to write, but not much is sparking my creativity. So I thought I would open requests for OPLA and see how it goes.

Notes: I am writing specifically for the characters in the live action, and though ages are not mentioned in what I write usually, I write them as with the intention of them being Aged Up to over 20 years old (closer to actors actual ages vs the character ages in the anime/series).

Who I Will Write For (in preference order):

Zoro

Mihawk

Sanji

Shanks

Buggy

Luffy

Usopp

Nami

What You Can Request *I'm more in the mood for shorter easy-to-write stuff, so more plot detailed requests might not get written

Drabbles/Oneshots

Headcanons

Basic Rules

No NSFW/Smut

No pregnancy/child fics

2-3 prompts max please

Gn!Reader Inserts (no character x character ships)

Other more detailed rules/preferences (here)

Prompts: *these are just suggested, you do not need to use them

Angsty:

“Just please open your eyes.”

“Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me.”

“You almost died and you’re making jokes?”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“I know you’re tired, but you have to stay awake.”

“You would risk letting all those people die for one person? Why?” “Because it’s not just one person…it’s you.”

“Please tell me that’s not your blood.”

“You shouldn’t be with them, you should be with me.”

“I’m so cold. Why is it so cold?”

Fluffy/Cute/Romantic:

“I just cant see myself ever living without you.”

“If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you.”

“If I asked you to stay, would you?”

"All I’ve ever wanted was a place to belong. Somewhere I could call home. And you gave me that. Because you are my home.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“I wasn’t sure what love really felt like until I met you.”

“Maybe if you stopped staring at them and actually talked to them, you might have a chance.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try, you’re always on my mind”

“How long have you had this planned?” “Since the moment I fell in love with you.”

“You came all the way here for me?”

“Why are you staring at me?” “Because I think you’re beautiful.”

“I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you.”

Crack/Misc:

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone screw something up that fast before.”

“At least it couldn’t get any worse.” “I really wish you hadn’t said that.”

“In case you haven’t heard, there is a bounty on your head.” “Is that why you’re here? To kill me and take the bounty?” “No. I’m here to protect you.”

“What happened to your hand?” “I hit my hand on something.” “On what?” “Your ex’s face.”

“What could go wrong?” *something immedietely goes wrong*

“Are you here to kill me?” “No, I’m here to save you.”

“I thought I was the one saving you?” “Then do a better job next time.”

“Why do you have that look on your face?” “I’m deciding whether or not I’m going to kill you.” Alternate response: “I’m deciding whether or not I want to kiss you, or kill you.”

“You’re not scared of me?” “Should I be?”

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“Did you just…save me?” “You’re surprised?” “Well seeing as you are usually the one trying to kill me, yeah, kind of.”

Scenario Prompts:

Huddled together to keep warm.

Fall asleep in same bed, on opposite sides, wake up in each others arms.

Hands brush as you stand next to each other, you think it’s on accident until their hands gentle wrap around yours.

Shielding the other with their body to save/protect them.

Caught staring too many times for it to be a coincidence.

Size difference hug; they engulf you.

You refuse to leave so they pick you up and throw you over their shoulder.

Bandaging the other and then kissing the injury gently.

A and B meet randomly, B finds out A is on an important mission or quest and decides to go with them to protect them/watch over them.

Cloudgazing or Stargazing together, as you lie next to each other, their hand slips into yours.

A and B realizing they were holding hands the entire time the moment they had to let go. (after getting scared, nervous, frightened, etc.)

Accidental confession during heat of the moment/fight.

Person A has a hidden power, Person B finds out.

Person A falls asleep, instead of waking them, Person B carries them to bed.

Person A is in love with Person B. B is also in love with A. But somehow, they are both convinced that the other is in love with Person C, who is completely oblivious to all of it.

Person A is hiding an injury, no one finds out until they collapse.

Turning around, and suddenly being met with a kiss.

A is alone and hurt badly, they can talk to B through an earpiece/phone. Eventually A stops talking and B thinks they lost them. But they find them alive.

Headcanon Prompts:

Crush: How would they act with a crush, do they pine?

Relationship: General Relationship Headcanons

Intimacy: How they show intimacy; physical and not.

Confession: When and how they admit their feelings for you

The moment(s) they realize they have feelings for you (pre-relationship)

The moment(s) they realize they are in love with you (established relationship)

Cuddling: Do they cuddle, how do they, when do they, etc

Kissing: Do they like kissing, how do they kiss, when, etc.

Love Languages: What is their receiving and giving love language (and how do they show it)

Jealousy: How they act when they are jealous, what would make them jealous, etc. (before and/or during the relationship)

Protective: Are they protective? How they show it. Etc.

Taking care of them when they are hurt.

Them taking care of you when you are hurt.

Friends > Lovers

Love: Ways they say or show they love you.

---

P.S: Bloodhounds Requests are still open as well.

xx

[bitbybitwrites]

It's been FOREVER since I've done one of these - I really am grateful to everyone who's been tagging me, even though I've been letting it slide doing this on time ( which is kind of well, my thing, isn't it 😂)

Its been a while - just time, inspiration and utter exhaustion have gotten in the way from really writing. I was finally able to finish one Klaine fic recently (yay!) - so I'm slowly plugging away at everything else I've got on the back burner.

Under the cut will be bits from If I Can Make Your Heart My Home - my Klaine fic that is approaching a year😳 since I started writing it! (Where the heck did the time go? 25 chapters and 102, 599 words later and I'm still plugging away at it!) Also an excerpt of the next chapter of Puppy Love - my sweet RWRB kid!fic. Can't wait to write more of this adorable story also!

Thanks for being patient with me folks and for reading my stuff and just tagging me in these things . . .💖💖💖

*****

If I Can Make Your Heart My Home (Klaine fic - Klaine Prompt Reverse Bang 2023) cc @datshitrandom

Kurt shook his head.  “I know.  You’re right, Maggie."  He took a deep breath.  “I guess I feel like an idiot.  I messed up something great and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.” “Nonsense,” Maggie huffed as she slid the box in her hand into the shopping cart.  “Let me tell you no couple is perfect together all of the time.  It’s hard.  It's hard work to get two people who can be so different to share a life together. And let me tell you Ralph and I were like oil and water on many occasions.” “She’s not wrong, “ Clara confirmed.  “Ma and Pop had some really big blowouts when I was a kid. Remember the cracked bowling ball argument?” Maggie snorted.  “Oh god and one about the fishing weekend he took with your Uncle Al and never thought to let me and your Auntie Anna know. Thought they were dead in a ditch somewhere.” Clara laughed along with her mother.  “And the hat - the one about your new hat that he thought . .” “Looked like a bird had died on my head.” Maggie cackled.  “Oh I was so insulted.  I loved that hat!” Clara wiped away a few tears that had welled up in the corners of her eyes.  “At the time, it seemed like the end of the world. But it wasn't, not really.” “We never stayed mad for long.  And we worked it all out.” Maggie admitted, a wistful look in her eyes as she recalled all those moments. “I don’t know if he wants to talk to me anymore, Maggie.  That’s the problem.  I think I might have missed my chance.” Maggie took Kurt’s hand in hers and squeezed it firmly.  “You’re never going to know if you don’t try, Pillsbury.” “Talk to him, Kurt," Clara added.  “You owe yourself that, don’t you think?  Let him know how you really feel.  Talk about everything that's been bothering you . . and then, see what happens.” “I’m rooting for you, Pillsbury,”  Maggie told him softly.  “I’ve got a good feeling about you and Monty.” “We both do.” Clara chimed in.

****

Puppy Love (FirstPrince fic - RWRB NYE Gift Exchange 2023) - cc @omgbarbiegurl

Alex mostly operated on a “full-steam-ahead” way of living life.  He jumped off of cliffs - made big decisions and went with them, often with very little mulling over or introspection, basically throwing himself wholeheartedly into life.  Some of his family thought it was too reckless, too thoughtless, too rash. He preferred believing he was going with his gut instincts. Alex did that when decided to drop his law studies and go to vet school.  He did that when moved in with his last partner.  He went with his gut when he decided to adopt Raf,  and also when he made the decision to move to NYC to start a new chapter in his life and to start the animal rescue with June. So far, Alex couldn’t say he was disappointed with any of his impulsive life choices.  Well, he slightly wished that Jessica and him had ended on better terms. But he couldn’t dwell on it. She was the one who didn’t want to be a parent and that was a deal breaker for Alex. He refused to give Raf up and change his mind like she had after the fact. Alex loved his son with all that he had. It was him and Raf together till the end.  Alex was determined to make their new life in New York the best that it could be.  Having June and Nora alongside him for this adventure was comforting, and Alex couldn’t deny that they were keeping him grounded most of the time.  They knew his tendency to hyper focus and prodded him enough to keep him from doing it too much to the detriment of his family time with Raf.  But getting the rescue up off the ground was harder than they had expected. Even now after they had been established for quite some time, there were days whenthe siblings would wonder what they had gotten themselves into. Creating a business from scratch, juggling to manage everything and taking care of the animals as well was overwhelming and chaotic on most days. Spencer and Liam coming aboard last month was not only a pleasant surprise,  but a nice shot of relief for June and Alex. Certainly once the holidays were over it would be even easier. They could start to mange more realistic shifts at the rescue and begin to maintain some sort of normalcy with the extra help. Alex would be the first to admit that whenever prioritizing his life, even with his chaotic schedule, Raf came first, then his work and then . . well his personal needs and wants last.   After he and Jessica had parted, Alex pushed any thoughts of dating - or even random hook ups out of his mind. There really was no time for that.  And in no way was there anyone who even piqued his interest enough for him to come surfacing out of his self-imposed exile from the dating world. Or rather, that was true until an abandoned beagle and the gorgeous man who rescued him waltzed into his life.

****

OK . . so many thanks to the following lovely folks who have tagged me in the past few weeks for Six Sentence Sunday/ WIP Wednesday :

@porcelainmortal, @wordsofhoneydew, @duchessdepolignaca03, @forabeatofadrum, @littlemisskittentoes,

@agostobuwan, @nocoastposts, @sheepywritesfics @taste-thewaste @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion

@iboatedhere, @itsmaybitheway, @onthewaytosomewhere, @myheartalivewrites, @magicandarchery

@fallevs. @daisyishedwig. @welcometololaland and if I forgot anyone, I so apologize! ( I really tried keeping a list every time I missed one!)

So going to open tag anyone who might want to share what they're working on . . but I'll also tag for the hell of it, if they want to jump in:

@kirakiwiwrites, @madas-ahatters-world, @coffeegleek, @gleefulpoppet, @little-escapist

@spaceorphan18 @yadivagirl

[blackcatrph]

»  ━━  WILLOW  (2022)  QUOTES  :  EPISODE  ONE  :  THE  GALES.  PART  TWO.

quotes  taken  from  the  2022  series  “willow”.  please  alter  any  pronouns  if  required  when  sending.

“How’s the party?”

“You should see the prince, he’s a mouse.”

“We both know how fond i am of our little chats, but unless it’s to bring me a slice of cake, why are you down here?”

“Maybe it’s because you want me to tell you not to force your child into a loveless marriage?”

“You know I don't have a choice.”

“Everything I've done, I've done to protect the people I love. It costs a lot. I’m tired.”

“How long can you keep it up?”

“Maybe I'm overreacting. It doesn’t mean that our life has to change…”

“I’ve been accepted to train with the shining legion. To become a Knight.” 

“They’ve made an exception. It’s their first ever, actually.” 

“I wanted to tell you before, but I didn't know how to…”

“So. We’re getting married. That’s weird, right?”

“Why? You don’t even know me.”

“I am grateful for the opportunity to serve the realm.”

“I am getting acquainted with my betrothed here, but you can go wherever you want, as you’ve made abundantly clear.”

“Have you ever heard the story of Taramis?”

“She was, like, by all accounts, like, the most gorgeous woman that ever lived.”

“Make yourself useful.”

“What? Scared you might blind my pretty twin brother?”

“I’m worried about that..”

“You embarrassed the prince.” 

“You showed everyone in that room who you are, a petulant child who needs to grow up.”

“I’m a prisoner, sentenced to a life I didn’t even choose!”

“No one chooses their life.”

“It’s fine. Everything’s fine. I spoke to the prince.”

“He’s not actually such a terrible guy if you get to know him.”

“I think you should stick to chasing girls rather than sticking your nose in matters that you are incapable of understanding and are not your concern!”

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Huh? Oh, are you going to beat me up? Because I’m a little tired.”

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

“No. But you’re going to get it anyway because you’re my sister and I love you. Despite your winning personality.”

“Everybody loves you because you’re so charming and fun, as long as they don’t expect anything from you. The moment that they do, you’ll just leave.”

“Just like dad did.”

“I’m not him. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I think it’s best we stop seeing each other.”

“Seeing you with them just… made me crazy! Made me mad.”

“I was so distracted, I… I burned my muffins.”

“I never burn anything, ever!”

“I suddenly realised, how can I expect you, the prince, to commit to me, muffin girl, when you’ve countesses and trollops shamelessly throwing themselves at you!”

“What if i did? What if I was ready to commit?”

“It’s not the greatest marriage proposal, in fact, it might be the worst. But what if… what if it was better?”

“That's definitely something we can discuss.”

“You scared the blummins out of me!”

“I’m leaving. I came to say goodbye.”

“I know you’re upset…”

“I’m thinking clearly, for the first time in my life…”

“I’m looking for something, and it’s not here. It’s out there.”

“You’re going to be a great knight, but I’ll still kick your ass.”

“It’s a symbol of my commitment to you, just until I can get something more real.”

“You could just look at me, just like that, for the rest of my life.”

“You know there’s nothing brave about running away…”

“I’m always… relatively careful.”

“Let our love be your strength!”

“Right. Definitely gonna do that…”

“We’re under siege.”

“Fellas, fetch my cleaver.” 

“Would it be too much to ask you not to do anything stupid?”

“Oh, man. I'm sorry. I thought you were gonna let go of her.”

“He was just behind me, fighting that witch.”

“They took him. I think… he’s what they came for.”

“False. Patently false.”

“I was concerned for the welfare of the animals. Is it a crime to care, huh? To feel?!”

“You’re just the leader this expedition needs.”

“Where the Princess goes, I go.”

“You know, I think we’re good, fellowship-wise.”

“You’d let your bride-to-be travel beyond the barrier without you?”

“It’s not ideal, but I'd learn to live with it.”

“Terrific. All the sorcerers are gone.”

“The last thing he said to me was that he would never leave me and when he said it, I… I didn’t care.”

“Just be careful. We have enemies without and within.”

“A knight is defined not by skill in battle, but by the oaths they keep.”

“The fate of Tir Asleen may well rest on whether you succeed or fail.”

“I won’t fail.”

“I won’t let anything happen to her.”

“She’ll need you to be sensible when she’s rash.”

“I’m counting on you as I would any knight.”

“Don’t worry. There’s plenty of stuff I’ve done that you haven’t.”

“I think someone’s following us.”

“You know, that’s what I thought. Then I realised you’d have to be daft to follow us, considering we’re all going to die.”

“Wait, you think we’re going to die?”

“I wish someone had told me that. I’m really scared of dying. That and communal bathing..”

“Hey, they’re coming. Get down.”

“You think I’m a fool, fine, I don’t care. What we have comes around once, maybe, if you’re lucky.”

“Have you ever been in a fight?”

“You mean like, verbally?”

“I mean like, defending yourself against someone who wants to hurt you.”

“I can do other stuff, whatever you need! Tend to horses… Somebody’s gotta cook, right?”

“Are you any good?”

“I’m phenomenal.” 

“So, what can you cook out here?”

“Seriously? You brought a flute?”

“Yeah, was that not a good idea?”

“My nan believed that music was a balm for the soul…”

“This is not some jaunt or your chance to see the world. It’s dangerous.”

“Well, you’re all so naive, it’s adorable.”

“You’ve never known pain, fear, hunger.”

“Out there it won’t matter who your parents are, or what you think you deserve. The world is bigger than you could possibly imagine, it doesn’t give a damn about any of you.”

“I know this is a silly question, but what is the barrier exactly?”

“It’s a force field, forged by Raziel and Cherlindrea to protect the realm. It was a refuge for those who wanted a life that was more than just survival.”

“I was the only one who survived.” 

“That what you really think or what you wanna believe?”

“Why would I want to believe that he chose her instead of us?”

“Sometimes it’s easier to hate them.”

“One night of sleeping on the hard ground will cure anyone of their romantic fantasies.”

“Got to admire her persistence.” 

“She’s going to get herself killed!”

“You’re not the boss of me, Princess! Not out here!”

“I like her. We should keep her.”

“Enough. We don’t have time for your bickering.”

“I don’t care if you like each other, we’re all in this together now.”

“Out here, in the world beyond, if you’re not vigilant at each moment, you will not survive.”

“This is exactly why you can’t come with us.”

“Why are you riding so slow? We’re being chased!”

“That’s not me, mate! You’re thinking of someone else!”

“I've never seen horses do that. What is Hsu-Gala?”

“It's an ancient Angorian word. It means, "Stop."”

“I wanted to say, I'm sorry, for the way I behaved. I was very childish.”

“I can understand not wanting to marry someone that you barely know. I wasn’t happy about it either.”

“You’re a very pretty person.”

“I just think you should be in love with someone before you commit to spending the rest of your life with them, right?”

“What about our responsibility to unite the realm?”

“One day you and I are gonna be in charge, and when that day come, we don’t have to do things the way our parents did.”

“Oh, Daikinis. Terrific. Just what I need.”

“What happened here?”

“Plenty. And if you’re not careful, it’ll happen to you too.”

“I’m out of the sorcery business now.”

“I’ve retired. So jog on.”

“My mother told me that once long ago, you stood together against the forces of evil and defeated them.”

“The world needs you again. It needs your magic.”

“It’s okay. She is who she claims to be. I read her mind.”

“Had you there, didn’t I? I didn’t read your mind.”

“You remind me of your mother.”

“Your brother’s alive.”

“I'm sorry, did you say, "beyond the Shattered Sea "?"

“I've travelled all across the world, met some real magical marvins, but I never met anyone who crossed the Shattered Sea. That's where all the maps end.”

“And that's where we must go. Beyond the edge of our world, into the unknown.”

“You shouldn’t be here, but it’s so good to see you.”

“No, you’ve made a mistake. I’m not… I’m nobody.”

[duckofmassmurder]

TW⚠️ Mha When you have anorexia

TW: anorexia, x reader ( no pronouns specified), cursing

characters: denki, bakugo, todoroki, Mina, tamaki, aizawa(student reader, platonic)

an - This is coming from a person that has experienced anorexia, and it sucks. I am not trying to romanticize this and if you have a problem with it I’ll take it down as soon as I can. If you struggle with an ed please do your best to find someone you can talk to about it, I know it can be hard, it was for me, but it will help even just talking about it, and I hope it gets better for you. And remember, YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL. AS. FUCK.

KATSUKI BAKUGO

I feel like he would notice really early on but not say anything, not knowing how to deal with the problem. He would likely gather information on it and realize he needs to start trying to help. He tries to get you to eat but if you don’t he doesn’t know what to do cause he doesn’t want to force you to do it, especially when you’re struggling. About a month into the disorder he confronts you on it. “ y/n, you have anorexia don’t you? And don’t try to give me that excuse bullshit.” He kind of says kind of asks.

After you tell him he tries everything he can to help you, he mainly ( when it comes to meals ) is just like, “ it’s okay idiot, if you feel like you can do it, try your hardest to, but if you can’t we can just cuddle and watch a movie or something.” He still doesn’t want to force you to do something, this is a subject that he isn’t that harsh when it comes to, he’s more gentle.

He has the idea to eat one bite of it today, two tomorrow, and so on, kind of like a Duolingo streak that he encourages you to keep up, he even keep track of it and gives you a lil sticker every five or so days.

*bonus* if someone else is the reasoning for your anorexia you best believe he’s gonna beat the shit out of them and make their live a living hell

SHOTO TODOROKI

This bean would notice IMMEDIATELY after you start showing signs. Like- you would have just figured it out and he’d just be like “ yeah that’s what that is”

I feel like he would just straight up ask you. “ hey love, I’ve been noticing some stuff about you and… do you have anorexia? You don’t need to tell me if your not comfortable but I just wanna help.” And you just broke and told him everything because he’s so precious.

he knows a lot of the disorder itself but lesser on how to help or get better. I think he would just try to get you to eat with him, and if you don’t feel like it, he just a lets it be, he doesn’t wanna push too far. But he does make sure you drink some water everyday.

*bonus* If he sees you looking at yourself sadly in the mirror he’ll come wrap his arms around your waist from behind and whispers how beautiful/handsome/pretty you are in your ear 🥺

MINA ASHIDO

This girl would be so sad when she realized. She wouldn't want you to be going through this alone though so she as soon as she picked up the signs of the anorexia, she asked you if she was right. " Hey y/n, i have a question." She said, and you could tell it was something serious because she never uses you real name unless it's important. " Yeah dancing queen, wassup?" " Do you have anorexia? You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to but I just wanna help make sure you're okay :( " She says.

After you tell her she just full on stays with you all the fucking time. When it's time to eat she does everything she can to try and help you eat but if you can't she just watches tiktok's with you and makes you laugh.

*bonus* if you seem sad or down you just go to where she is and y'all just hang out watching anime and messing around. ( I love her so much)

DENKI KAMANARI

I feel like you would have to tell this idiot that you have anorexia and he'd just be like- " Hold on anor what now? What's that?" And you'd do one of two things; Throw his computer at him and tell him " Fucking figure it out bitch" Or you'd explain what it is. No matter what you do once he figured it out he'll feel bad for not knowing and want to help.

He will always make sure you eat something. He isn' t really sure how to deal with the situation, so whenever it's meal time he makes sure he brings your favorite food to the meal with him and gives it to you, making sure you have at least one bite.

*bonus* Some of the only times you have seen denki cry is when prom came and he cried because you're so fucking beautiful and then short circuited, and when he found out what anorexia is and just came up to you can hugged you saying it'll be okay and he'll help in any way he can.

TAMAKI AMAJIKI

With this shy boi and him having his quirk he didn't know how to handle this. When he was like- 9 or 10 he struggled with eating because he was insecure, but then he kind of had to eat because it's the only producer of his quirk, and he gradually got used to eating again, so he knows it's hard to deal with but he doesn't know how to help you.

He would realize you have it when you start showing signs, but him being the shy baby that he is he didn't confront you on it. When you told him he responded with something like " I-I know... I just didn't know how to talk to you ab-bout it..." While some people would be mad at him for not talking about it you were sitting here like, awww he's so cute.

When it comes to helping you he just eats with you, you just never are alone when there's food. He'll offer you some of his food in case you want it, and if you say no he just kinda backs off about it, he doesn't want to push you. But he does make sure you eat something, even if it's just so much as a cracker or something once a day, he doesn't want you to be sick.

*bonus* If he sees you messing with your food and/or looking at yourself sadly he comes over to you, hugs you, and comforts you, and it's so cute and HE'S JUST SO FUCKING ADORABLE.

SHOTA AIZAWA

He loves his students like their his kids, so when he found out that one of them was struggling with anorexia, he was sad. He either found out from someone you had told telling him or he picked up on it on his own. He would probably call you over after class and ask you about it. " Hey kid, I know you're struggling with anorexia or something similar, and I just want you to know if you need anything just come to me okay? I may just be a teacher but this is serious, and I can try my best to help out."

As far as helping you out goes he you probably just make sure you're eating at meals, if he sees you're not then he just kinda force feeds you a piece of bread with butter. Not toasted. Just plain ol' white bread with butter. And the weird thing is he always seems to have it on him, like, always, it's kind of scary. He just wants to help.

*bonus* If another student is the reason for this, he'll have a 'friendly' chat with them. Basically telling them to stay the fuck away from you and not to be the reasoning from someone having to deal with this.

I LOVE YOU WHOEVER IS READING THIS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS FUCK DON'T FORGET IT.

[rose-water-pond]

On a String Part 2: Two Threads

Summary:

Pavitr forces another confrontation.

Pavitr's POV

---------------

I crash through my bedroom door, and I’m sure that some splinters slipped into my arm. With a flick of my wrist, my grimy suit is in my hands. Most times I can blink and I’m stunning as Mumbattahn’s most stylish spider. But this time it feels like the fabric is catching every snag on my body, from my knee to my elbow. I don’t even take the time to adjust my mask properly before I’m falling out my window, and my bangle is snapping itself around the neighboring cupola. Curiously, my attention is taken by my elbow, where the breeze is biting harder. Oh, right. The hole in my suit.

Y/N promised she would stitch it up. Maya auntie has insisted on doing it over the years, but as she gets older, the needle is hitting her finger more often than the fabric. Seeing the many band aids on auntie's fingers, Y/N had asked me to start coming to her instead. “Is she still buying our story? Was it too far-fetched to say that her stitching is making your suit invincible? ” Y/n has mischief in every tooth of her smile, her eyes focused on the stitch in front of her. My left arm is under her gentle grip, and my right is holding up my chin. “Oh, not only is she convinced-” “Really? You’re a terrible liar!” “You came up with this one!” “Still, you’re the one that has to sell it..” “As I was saying before I was insulted,” My accusatory glare evidently doesn’t outway my smirk, as Y/N just continues to smile contentedly. “...she boasts about it all the time.” Y/n giggles, and my grin is now as big as hers. “I can hear her now.” She says. Finally, I get to put on a show. I raise my voice to a pitch I have mastered: “I told you bhateeja! My stitching is just as strong as your spider silk. Stronger! Perhaps I should have been the Spiderman.” “Aww!” “I told her she would have made a great Spiderman, and then she really went off-” she has to steady my arm as I launch into: “‘I told you! I am not as old as you pretend I am. I could be the Spiderman now!’ and then she tried to jump on the couch! She is 57! And I love her! She can not be risking her knees to jump on couches!” Y/N’s laugh is going to earn me a scolding from his downstairs neighbors later, but even though I wince at the decibel, I can’t stop smiling. “Pav stop I- oh crap I dropped my needle.” I should probably lay off a bit, don’t want to give her stomach cramps. I’ll resign to verbal impressions for now. “Of course I had to rescue her, I’d never let her fall. And then she said: ‘Perhaps you really are the better Spiderman.’” “Yeah,” Y/N says. She holds my hand with both of hers, and my chest warms as she moves them close to her own. I can feel the heat of her adoration on my skin. “The best spiderman.” Oh. Oh goodness. I suddenly can’t breath so well. Something she used to say. I doubt she’d think it now. But hearing Y/N say it, it’s almost good enough. It almost convinces me. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing, it’s just, I wish Gayatri was here.” I think I see Y/Ns smile fall a bit, but I blink and it’s back, just smaller. Her eyes are pooled with grief as she says: “Yeah. Her laugh was my favorite.”

—-----

I have been searching for two hours, and my muscles are no less tense. “Come on.” I’m shaking them off for the nineteenth time.

My mask is sopping wet, and I’ve been tempted more than once to throw it into the streets. “Aw screw it.” I rip free of it, my hair bouncing as it lands around my puffy eyes. “Great.” But then my heart stops. Completely refuses to beat. Because there she is. In the back of an autorickshaw. Having an animated argument with the driver. I can see her swinging her hands from here. Despite it all I chuckle, of course she’s being stubborn about something she can’t change.

And for what I’m sure is the first and last time in my life I utter: “Thank goodness for the traffic”

The autorickshaw shakes when I land, my hands clamped around the poles. In seconds I’m sliding into the blue padded seats, finally face to face with her.

Her cheeks have red streaks on them, and her wrist is showing again.

I can’t breathe.

“Pa-Spiderman!? You can’t be here!”

But she is already swept up in my arms, I don’t think I can ever bring myself to let go again. My shoulders no longer ache. But my arms have certainly tightened, protecting us from the pain of seperation.

“Sorry sir, but this beautiful woman is coming with me.”

“What! No!” I hope she doesn’t claw out my eyes. Glad I put the mask back on.

“Oh thank goodness.” the driver whispers.

“Hey!”

But she doesn’t get another word out. Instead she’s letting out a gut wrenching scream as we swing through the air.

—----

When I land on the rooftop she quickly loses her balance, and when she falls I yelp, horrified that she might be bruised. ‘More bruised.’ My brain supplies.

I can taste blood.

I’m frantically trying to get her standing again. “Oh crap, I’m so sorry, are you oka-” “Don’t touch me!”

The nerves on my cheek surge with an echo.

“Y/N please,”

“No! You don’t get to ask me for anything! You don’t get to show up here, you don’t get to kidnap me. You just don’t get to Pav!”

She is using my nickname, which is good.

“You know I never wanted to push you away. I can’t lose you!”

“But you did.”

My

heart

just

stops.

There is a ringing in my ear, and a pressure in my head, as if a sludge hammer was taken to it's side. All my senses dull as if cushioned by cotton. The whole world is tilting and I feel like I'm slowly falling, my body slanted and sick, a level of glass between me and the rest of the world. Everything is quiet, everything is soft. Until it slowly creeps in, a futile sound in the face of all this nothingness.

I can hear my breath. It’s fast, way too fast.

“I lost you?”

She pauses for a moment, her gaze going to the floor. But then I see resolution creep up into her hardened features. And I have only feared one other thing as much as I do her next word.

“Yes.”

If I don’t hold my chest together, all the shards of my heart are going to fall out.

My mouth is completely dry, but I manage to choke it out. I have to “Don’t say that.”

“What?”

“I said don’t f***ing say that.”

She takes a step back. A look of shock in her face, and my feet follow hers almost instantly. Even like this, our dance is attuned to the other entirely.

“Y/N don’t you ever f***ing say that. My hands are on her wrists, and I’m panting, I’m literally gasping for air. I- “I can’t I can’t breathe.”

In almost every one of my moments like this, she has been there. She has been the stabilizing hand on my chest, the rise and fall of my shoulders as they regulate, the oxygen that comes back into my lungs.

And before her it was Gayatri.

“Y/N.”

But now she is frozen, and I can’t figure out why, until my vision focuses enough to see her eyes. They are filled with raw terror. I imagine this is what a tiger sees when it lunges for its prey. And yet, I recognize it.

Y/N’s eyes are just like right before. Right before the fall.

I am acutely aware of how close we are to the edge.

I shouldn’t have picked a rooftop.

I try to pull her into my chest. To pull her away from the danger, but she tugs back.

What?

I can feel her shaking through her wrists, it’s trembling through her whole body.

“Hey let me get you away from the edge.” She shakes her head. What is she doing? I grit my teeth to try and keep from crying. “Y/N please.” “No.” it barely escapes from her throat. A warbles and warped plea.

“I’m sorry, I can’t-

I pull her away and into my arms. Trying to hold her body close to mine. Usually, she is the only warm thing left in the world, but now I find her cold.

And I hear her crying.

“Hey, hey meri jaan it’s okay.”

“Stop.” It’s another frail little thing that has to drag itself from her mouth. It washes away with the wind.

“You’re safe now, you’re okay. I promise.”

A promise I broke to Gayatri-

I feel her push away from me, the cold of her tears still staining my suit, and realization strikes me like a harpoon through the chest.

She. is afraid. Of me.

“Y/N.”

“Pav, stop.”

She's backing up now, closer to the edge.

"Y/N!"

"Pav just stop!"

Her voice is coming back, but that shred of relief can’t drown out the dread of what is coming.

"I'm fine okay, I'm fine, I just-"

She must see it in my eyes, in how my hands hold themselves open, anticipating.

Because she takes a couple steps to the right. Away from the edge.

And away from me.

I wasn't anitipating the ragged breath of relief that comes out of me.

We stare at eachother a moment. I can hear the honking of the cars below, the yelling of the drivers, the music blasting from a random apartment down the road. I can hear the cows mooing and the call of vendors on the street. And among with all this noise, I'm bubbled in silence. A silence that is teeming with years of a thousand things unsaid. Things I should have said, and things she thought she shouldn't.

Her hair is gently pushed by the wind, her coat tightly wrapped around her shoulders. And with all those unsaid things, I still don't know what words to use now. I take a step towards her and her hand jumps up. And it calmly stays stationed there, a barrier against everything I'm fighting for. She has her eyes closed in concentration, and when she lifts them again to look at me, I feel caught in some unexplainable way.

She finally speaks.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

The look she shoots me is appalled.

“Why do you want me to come back pav?”

“Because I-” I stumble.

She waits.

“Because, because I-” my voice dies out again. I’m panting. Again.

“Because you love me? No that’s not it? Is it because ‘you can’t lose me’? Is it because ‘you can’t lose me like you did Gayatri-”

“STOP!”

“You’ve been thinking about her this whole time Pav, haven't you! And I know, I know I'm a jerk to say it! Because I know that you're hurting and I'm so sorry. I’ve been trying to heal that hurt for years! And I know it takes time, I know it takes time okay! But every moment I’m with you I feel like I’m dying. I feel like I’m competing with someone who's not even here and I’m always losing. And I know that’s not fair and I’m sorry, but I can’t keep getting hurt every day because when I look in your eyes I know you don’t see me. You see some second chance with her, and you see something to be afraid of cause you might mess it up again. I'm your friend Pav! Even if that's not all I am, before everything about us I was your friend, and you haven't treated me like one since the day she died. ”

She looks away, and the glow of the city is on her face. Purples and reds. She is wiping away her snot on her sleeve.

“And the worst part was that it was almost worth it. It was almost worth it because I love you so much.” She puts her hand over her mouth, her tears are lacing through her fingers. “And if you loved me back maybe I could have kept going-”

“I do.”

She stops.

“I do. Y/N I do. I love you.”

“No, no you don’t. Or you can’t. Not now.”

The silence burrows itself into my bone marrow, it stretches my wrinkles deeper.

We wait.

Her tears are harsh and painful, and I can feel her sobs in my chest, like a worm eating away at my heart. She’s holding herself together, her arms across her chest, her nails digging harsly into her sides, guarding herself from me, from anything that would exhaust her further, from everything, no matter what face it wears. In this moment, she refuses to let any of it near her.

She’s choking it back now, she does not have even a shred of patience left for her tears.

I feel the apathy of broken things. When something shatters and can't be put right. Every fracture has collapsed into a demonstrous, gapping hole, and it leaves me numb.

“Can we just be done Pav? Can you do one last thing for me and just let this be done?”

Maybe for her sake I should let it be over. But I can’t. Everything in my body and soul recoils and then thrusts itself against the idea, screaming and trying to force it as far away as possible. But amidst all this, my heart gently calls out:

“Let her go.”

So I will. I will, and it will be the first thing I do in our relationship that isn’t selfish.

“Okay." I say, and a part of my soul drifts away on the breeze.

"Okay we can be done.”

She looks up at me, her mouth slightly open, as if it’s not what she really wants. But then she closes it, and with the downward tilt of her head, I see her acknowledge it’s for the best. She starts to walk past me to the door.

And I promised I would let her go. So I will,

But…

“But y/n, can you promise me something?” I beg any love she has left for me to allow me this.

She stops, and she turns around, exhaustion in her eyes, but with that soft smile I’ve never wanted to kiss more than in this moment. I should have taken every chance I’ve ever had to.

“What Pav?”

I swallow.

“In…two… in three years, let me come back into your life, and I’ll do it all right this time. I’ll love you exactly as much as you deserve.”

“Pav-”

“Please.”

The breeze slowly drifts across the rooftop.

“Pav I won’t wait for you. I can’t. I won’t let myself.”

“I know, I won’t ask you to. I just ask that you … keep the door open for me okay?”

She looks at me, and I know in that moment she is seeing me completely as I am, every flaw, every vulnerability, and I let her look. I let her decide if she still wants me now, and if she’ll want me then.

I’ve heard that your life flashes in front of you before you die. But at a crossroad like this, we also have miraculous visions. I didn't know that until now, as I watch brilliant colors flicker in her eyes like fireworks, followed by relentless shadows, and cool gray mornings filled with ache, which becomes a soft white glow that nestles in her iris.

She is seeing an entire life. Lives. Many of them.

She is seeing all the turns I can take where inevitably I leave her heart like this again. The streets of time where I leave her on the corner of a moment and never look back.

But with the most sacred hope, I watch the faintest glimmer of light trace her eyes,

And I pray that she saw even just a sliver of a life where I do not turn any of those corners.

And instead walk up to a tiny Mumbattan apartment, where a pocket of light radiates through the streets of this rushing city. Where I can hear the laughter from where I stand. Where she walks out onto the balcony, and sees me smiling up at her, and I receive my reason to live in the grin she gives back. Where she is the beating heart of my entire world.

It is a life where I always return home to her.

And then the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen slowly spreads on her face. It doesn’t reach her tired eyes, but they are holding something else: the love that kept me together all these years.

She nods. “Okay.”

Then she opens the door. And walks away.

-----

Notes:

I started writing this chapter in third person before realizing that I wrote the previous one in first person. I want to understand Pav more as a character so I decided to retake up the challenge and write from his perspective and I was honestly suprised. There were very noticible changes from the "objective truth" that third person provided and seeing how pav percieved everything, and it also allowed me to write both him and Y/N as complex people who have both wronged eachother. It's wonderful how this fanfiction is allowing me to connect with and understand writing as an artform and process better.

Thank you so much for reading! It means so much! Please comment!

All Rights to my work reserved, though I don't own Spiderman/Pavitr. Thank you for reading!

Previous Parts:

Part One: When it Snaps

[pikapeppa]

Fic writers' end-of-year roundup: 2022 edition!

It’s that time of year, writer friends — time to take stock of what we’ve been up to this year! Tagging to literally ANY AND ALL WRITERS who would like to participate, but I’ll throw down some tags from the top of my head: @contrivedchaos @kittynomsdeplume @little-lightning-lavellan, @varric-tethras-editor @lavendreapark @hobo-apostate @ranaspkillnarieth @iamcayc @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul @hollyand-writes @elveny @johaerys-writes @charlatron @noire-pandora @hellas-himself @crackinglamb @barbex @mogwaei @alyssalenko @musetta3 @iarollane @about2dance @mythicaitt @cthu-boo !

Words written (published or not, WIPs included!): 1 012 607. I was hoping to crack a million this year and I FINALLY DID IT. 😂

Smut scenes: 41! Less than other years, but not the least.  

New things I tried:

I wrote fanfic for anime for the first time this year — for Samurai Champloo (Fuu/Jin/Mugen) and for Cyberpunk: Edgerunners (David/Lucy). On a related note, this year was the first time I wrote for a form of media that I didn’t originally watch in English. I was always a little scared to write in English for something that I hadn’t watched in English, because capturing characters’ voices and speech patterns is so important to me, and it’s hard to translate that across languages. But CPER got me by the throat, so I watched it in both Japanese and English so I could capture the characters’ voices as best as I could. I watched Samurai Champloo dubbed in English, though, and I am a sucker for Jin’s English voice, so that was a snap to write. 😂

For the first time, I also wrote for a game that I’ve never played before: Far Cry 5! @schoute got me reeled in with her raving loving descriptions of cheeky shithead John Seed, and I was compelled to write some smut for her. I had a blast watching a playthrough of FC5 with her (LOVE YOU BB ❤), and writing from John Seed’s POV was A MINDFUCK AND A HALF, let’s just say. GOOD TIMES. 😂

Fic I spent the most time on: 

Becoming Whole (Aloy/Kotallo), which has been my main focus since March and is more than 500k words now. I genuinely did not expect or intend for this fic to be this long! I’ll blame the party banter for this. My outline will say “GAIA Gang chat over dinner”, and this single note will translate into 10k words in the chapter 😂💀 In any case, VERY honoured by everyone who has stuck with this extremely long fic!

Fic I spent the least time on:

The Wisdom In A Bowl Of Pudding (Felassan/Tamaris Lavellan). I was inspired by the news about the DA:D milestone and got so excited that this oneshot came together in… one day, I think? One or two. I JUST LOVE FELASSAN OKAY.

Favourite thing I wrote: 

It’s a tie between two fics. I loved writing Finding Something In Common (Aloy/Nil/Drakka) because a) writing Nil again after 5 years of being “away” was like coming home 😭❤ and b) I fucking love Drakka with a burning passion LOL. But I also loved writing my Samurai Champloo fic Just Hold On, We’re Coming Home because it was purely and entirely for me. There are so few fics for that anime and even fewer explicit fics for the OT3, so I knew that basically nobody was going to read it and that anyone who did would be really grateful to see a rare fic for the OT3, but I had to write it because I just had the urge and couldn’t rest until I did. It was a gift to myself to kick off the year. 😂

Favourite thing I read: 

I’ve actually done some actual reading this year!!! Both of fics and published books, because I wanted to start working my way through my bedside tsundoku, with mixed results: I read a couple of books from my tsundoku pile but then bought the entire Sailor Moon manga set and have only read 6 issues so far 😂😭💀 one step forward, 10 STEPS BACK. 

Anyway! Fave fics of the year:

I read a few fics for Samurai Champloo. As I mentioned before, there aren’t many fics for this fandom, but one of the fics I read was both the shortest and the most drop-dead gorgeous fic I’ve ever read: Bodies of Water by moemachina. I genuinely envy this writer for their ability to pack so much emotional punch into so many words. 

Where The Time Goes, a Chloe Fraser/Nadine Ross fic by @contrivedchaos. OH MY GOD WAS IT EVER LOVELY. Cat used a repeated phrase/theme throughout the fic that just had me on the edge of my seat the whole time, and MY GOD was the ending ever wonderful and satisfying. 😭❤

Written In The Stars, a Kotallo/OC fic by @iamcayc WHICH IS SUCH A TREAT. Caycee has created a wonderful OC to pair up with Kotallo and expanded on Tenakth lore in a way that had me squealing!

HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network by Discar. It’s a texting fic between the GAIA Gang and it’s SO GOOD. Hilarious, great characterization of the crew, incredible expansion on the worldstate and lore. I stopped reading halfway through because I was afraid that I’d start accidentally stealing their headcanons/lore expansion since it just makes so much sense, but I just recently noticed that the fic finished, so I might get back into it soon!

Writing goals for next year: 

Oh man there are so many things I want to write and so little time and I’M SO MAD ABOUT IT.

Finish Becoming Whole. Now that we know the DLC is coming out in April, I am DETERMINED to finish BW before then so my slate can be clear for new fics ideas 🤩

An Aloy/Avad sequel to Window Bird. The conversation that Aloy and Avad have at the start of HFW makes MY ENTIRE HEART HURT. I will stubbornly maintain that Avad is the most tragic character alive in the Horizon universe, and I’m going to give him some love because he deserves it, the poor sweet man.

More Aloy/Drakka. This entire fic has been my treat to myself, and the next oneshot is in progress -- probably the first thing I'll publish in 2023!

Aloy/Nil. I fucking love Nil to the moon and back, but writing this ship again is going to take some mindfuckery because I’ll be rebooting my take on the ship as though Stormbirds and Stalkers didn’t happen 😅

I’m sure this won’t be all; I always end up getting blindsided by a desire to write something I didn’t expect (e.g. Cyberpunk this year), so we’ll see what else comes up as the year progresses! 

Can't wait to see what everyone else has been up to!!! Please tag anyone you think would like to participate, and tag me back so I can spy on what you've been up to as well! 🥰

-- love from your friendly Pikapeppa xoxo