#cons: you have to make it still communicate the message in a way that makes sense not only to you specifically

[bonetrousledbones]

anyway. if yall ever want a really fun way to fuck around and decompress i will recommend you write a character who is so fancy-talking and so so self-grandiose and such an absolutely mythic bitch

[erabu-san]

First of all, I would like to thank you so much for all your support and your kind message !! Thank you so much for being patient with me too !! (you will see, I thanks a lot in this post lol)

Haha tbh I believe that ignoring and move on is a great way too! Yeees when I read this anon ask, I was wondering if they are living somewhere where pale person are oppressed and they are personally in this case and it affects them so badly that they have so much hate in them or they are just being hateful toward poc w/o any explication ? It was a bit uncomfortable And what is appealing with Genshin Impact (for me) is the fact that they use real culture to create their game ; even in the last survey, they ask if we like Natlan's authenticity (weird they only ask abt environment and music, i think they know they have issue with character design bahaha). I learn a lot about persian, algerian, but also chinese and even about french culture ! It is because people recognize themself that they start talking about it. I know there is a lot of controversial topic in Natlan, but because of this, I learn a lot on Hawai'i 's culture too. So yes, even if it is fiction, representation *is* important. And it is because they take inspiration of their culture that there is people who want a better representation, and in my opinion, this is something to not ignore !

About taking well what anon said, thank you so much ! If i can be honest tho, I didn't take it very well neither, or just I don't know how do I really felt at the moment I am an adult but I still hard time to distinguish what is morally okay or not, what is bad and good ? So if someone doesn't tell me they are explicitly a bad person with bad intention, I won't get it haha (ofc I grew up and now I identify my value and morals, but I still questionning if my morals are objectively great or not- yeaaah i was called weird for that, I am aware) Since forever I always try to understand other so I can communicate properly (at least I try), and that's why I am always interested on how does people think, why do they react in this specific way etc etc. Pro, I am patient and can take even the most violent take "well" (all depends. I am still a human) Con, I give free speech to those who have a "bad" take </3 and I apologize for that aaaa

KFSDLFSD I wish to express my angryness sometime but I just don't know if it is really adequate What if I interpret their text in wrong way as they initially try to say ? I wasn't feel offended by what they said, I was just uncomfortable because their opinion is something I consider hateful. and what if i was wrong??? But reading you all's opinion just affirm that's they were indeed rude ! I should stop overthink, life would be easier Maybe next time I have a doubt I will ask my friends's opinion before answering ksdkfsf

Oh my god thank you !!! If i can be honest, I draw Kinich this way because when I draw him w a darker skin for the first time, I thought "Oh !!! he looks so cool !!!!" and seeing a lot of positive comment abt my Kinich just makes me happy so I keep him like this ! And thank you for sharing with me informations !<<333 This is not overstepping at all ! And it is a reciprocate feeling anon ! It might be a bit weird but "angry" is such a complex feeling for me. I feel it but I don't really know how to express it in the most healthy way and it is super frustrating. So... seeing people getting mad at something I also disagree on makes me feel better !! And for this, thank you all !

I SNORT SO HAAAARD Damn Macron you again..........!! I didn't put all ask here but I read them all !! Thank you for sharing with me your opinion and reaction, it is truly interesting (and way more relaxing that the hater anon kskskss) !! and again, your support is truly meaningful for me. You all have sincere gratitude Hope y'all have a great day !! Stay hydrated too <3

[detailtilted]

In Search of Supernatural Fans from the Early Years

Hi! I’m looking for the legends who originally recorded old Supernatural convention panels featuring Jared or Jensen, or possibly Misha. See "What I'm Looking For" below. If you know one of them, or if you're a member of a community with people who were in the fandom in those early years, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could let them know about this post. I can be reached at DetailTilted@gmail.com or here on Tumblr.

If you aren’t familiar with my project, see the “Project Background” section below. This is not a low-effort exercise to merely repackage old videos. I’m putting many hours of work into each video to improve their watchability and accessibility. I will always credit my sources unless you wish to remain anonymous.

Even if your videos are on YouTube, I’m likely to have more success upscaling them if I can get the original video files. Thanks to the videos AgtSpooky kindly sent me, I've learned how big of a difference it can make when I have the original files to work with. That's why I’m putting more effort into finding those elusive original video takers.

The problem is that they all seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. Most of their YouTube accounts, LiveJournal accounts, and whatever other accounts I’ve dug up haven’t had any activity in 10-15 years. I’ve left a few messages on some of them, but I doubt they’ll be seen on dormant accounts. I’ve also gone down some crazy and twisted Googling paths trying to find current contact info for them, but without much success. In one case I even messaged the wrong person, who was at least kind enough to reply to the psycho asking for videos to let me know she wasn't the person I'd hoped she was. Oops!

What I’m Looking For

I’ve already finished CHICON 2007, Comic-Con 2008, and CHICON 2008, so I don’t need videos from those events, but I’d be happy to try to upscale your videos for your own collection if you have some you'd like to send me.

Actually, I could use CHICON 2008 Breakfast videos if you have any. I plan to attempt to redo that video either late this year or early next year.

I’ve been trying especially hard to reach people with original video files from either LA 2009 or Asylum 3 (2009), and I’d also be ecstatic to get some from LA 2008.

Any other old con videos you’re willing to share that have Jared or Jensen in them would be awesome. I hope to get to all the old conventions eventually. I haven’t yet defined “old”, so I don’t have a specific cutoff point.

Even if you just have audio files without video, those could be helpful too.

Length doesn't matter. Both long and short videos are welcome. Maybe I won't end up using them all, but the more options I have the better. Even if I don't put your video in my final edit, it would still be used because I always listen to every single video I can find when I'm finalizing my subtitles. Each video sounds at least a little different, and sometimes just hearing the audio in a slightly different way lets me catch a subtitle I'd missed or misheard.

Also, just to be clear, it isn’t necessarily my intent to exclude Misha. I’ve watched and enjoyed many of his convention videos and I liked Castiel for the most part, especially in the earlier seasons. I’m just not obsessed with Misha like I am with Jared and Jensen, and these videos do take quite a lot of work, so I’ve been putting my energy where my greatest interests lie. I’ll absolutely be including him when he’s in panels with Jared and/or Jensen, and in the future I may consider doing some of his solo panels.

So if you have original video files of Misha's solo panels that you’d like to send me, I’d be happy to add them to my stockpile for future possible use. If your videos turn out to be mostly complete, and if they upscale easily, then I might go ahead and do his panel at the same time I do the other panels from the same convention. If they'll take more effort to work with, I’ll probably skip them for now, but I may come back and tackle them if/when I run out of old Jared and Jensen videos to work with.

For any con videos you send me, regardless of whether I use them or not, I’d be happy to try to upscale them and send them back to you for your collection. I can’t always get things to upscale, so I can’t promise success, but I’ll definitely try.

Project Background - Enhanced Edition Con Videos

You can find my videos on my YouTube channel. (If you're already familiar with my project, skip to the next section -- there's nothing new to see here.)

I started this project in December 2023 to enhance old convention videos. My goal is to make them easier on the eyes and more accessible to both new and old fans from around the world. The videos on YouTube from that time can be difficult both to watch and to understand due to a combination of the older technology used to record them, the difficult recording conditions the fans were working with, and the lack of subtitles that make any sense.

I’m enhancing the videos as follows:

Visual Improvements: I’m upscaling the videos if possible, making color corrections if needed, and adding some slight stabilization to reduce the jitteriness. The end result is far from perfect because there’s only so much that current technology can do, but it's noticeably improved if you compare it to the originals.

Subtitles: I’m adding good, color-coded, English subtitles that can be turned on or off through YouTube’s CC button. The color-coding makes it more clear who's saying what when multiple people are speaking, and YouTube can auto-translate them into other languages to improve the accessibility.

Multiple Sources: If one video has gaps in it, then I'll try to find another that I can edit in to fill those gaps so the end result is as complete as possible. If I have more than one source that captured the same portion of the event, then I'll cut to whichever video I think had the best view of the action. In a few cases I’ve added a split screen with two different videos showing simultaneously so we can see action that's taking place in two separate areas. For example, when Jared and Jensen are on opposite sides of the stage. (There were also the infernal talking head bubbles on my Comic-Con 2008 video which nearly made me throw in the towel, but taught me a lot. 😅)

Extra Content for Context: These older videos don’t take up the full width of a modern video frame, so I’ve taken advantage of the extra space to display some still images with text to add extra context for many of the things they discuss. Some things are a lot funnier, or at least a lot more relevant, when you know exactly what they’re talking about. I clarify Supernatural episode references and pop culture references among other things. Sometimes I’ve also inserted short video clips, usually just a few seconds’ worth, if I thought it would add worthwhile clarity or entertainment to the topic at hand.

Current Project Status

If anyone has been wondering how I’m doing on my current video and what’s next… I’m almost done with the last video from CHICON 2008, which was Jensen’s solo panel. I should be ready to publish it on YouTube this Friday, May 24. I plan to use the same schedule as last time and put the Tumblr post up the following Tuesday when it’s a little more likely to be noticed here.

The next sequential conventions are LA 2009 and Asylum 2009, but I haven’t had much success in my attempts to upscale the available videos. If I were to work with what I have now, I know I could turn out something better than what’s on YouTube today, but the end result wouldn’t be nearly as good as what I might be able to achieve if I can get some original videos to work with. So I think it’s more logical to skip over these conventions for now and give it some time to see if I get any responses, in hope of a better end result.

I do intend to come back to the skipped conventions eventually, even if nobody sends me anything. Once I run out of conventions for which I can upscale the videos, if I still don't have anything better to work with for the ones I skipped, I’ll just do the best I can with what’s available. Even if I can't upscale, I can still do color corrections and stabilization, plus the subtitles and extra content. Some of these panels are split up into a bunch of very short videos, so it would also add value if I can combine them into something more sequential and cohesive. (I found 130 videos from the Jared and/or Jensen panels at LA 2009, and most of them were under 2 minutes long. 🤣) I don’t know if there’s enough footage to cover the entire panels seamlessly, but I’m itching to get my hands on that jigsaw puzzle of videos to try to make sense out of them.

So… the next videos I intend to work on will be from Vancouver 2009. This is one of the conventions that AgtSpooky attended and sent me videos for and they upscaled very well. Her breakfast video had already found its way onto YouTube, but wasn't properly credited. Her main panel videos aren't on YouTube as far as I could find, so that version may be new to newer fans. I'm only just starting to play around with upscaling the other sources out there, but my first attempt at the other main Breakfast source came out well. Both breakfast videos were taken from extreme opposite angles, so that should provide some useful editing opportunities. I’d still love to get more videos of this event if anyone has them.

If you made it this far, I am in awe. Sorry for putting this wall of text on your screen! 😅

[ds9anonkinkmeme]

Interest check

Hi, just doing an interest check for an idea we have about making a DS9 anon kink meme! A kink meme is an ongoing prompt event where people can anonymously request fics and others can choose to anonymously fill any prompts they feel inspired by.

See below the poll for our initial thoughts on pros and cons and considerations.

On ao3 we could very easily set up a prompt collection open for anyone to add prompts or fill prompts anonymously. But we don’t know how easy it is to maintain momentum on an ao3 prompt collection. Maybe that doesn’t matter and it can be an ephemeral thing until people forget about it and it becomes inactive, and then the next generation of folks in the fandom can start up their own new one in a few years haha. If we do it on ao3, should we make subcollections for individual “seasons” or “rounds” (there would likely be no actual deadlines, it would just be whatever length of time it takes for the list of prompts to get too long and unwieldy to be usable), or should we have people put all the prompts into a single collection that just grows and grows and grows?

On dreamwidth there would be comment threads so there would be a way to anonymously register enthusiasm for a prompt even before it gets written, which seems really good for encouragement and feeding off of each other’s hype. (Dreamwidth might also tell you when new comments are added to the community, unlike prompt collections on ao3?) But we are less familiar with dreamwidth so we aren’t sure there’s enough ds9 fandom hanging out there (or willing to make an account there) to sustain it over there.

Tumblr doesn't seem like an option for a number of reasons (can't post fully anonymously to tumblr except via asks, and having everything be done via asks would make it difficult to organize and connect prompts with fills because to keep them both anon they'd have to be separated, and tumblr is a website with a famously terrible search function).

If a DS9-focused kink meme already exists, we’d love to hear about it! We’ve found a few seemingly inactive ones in our research. But if there’s an active one out there, we could absolutely just pivot to supporting/participating in that, instead of making our own thing and dividing up the fandom’s energies. (Another question we don’t know the answer to: Is it possible/desirable to work on reviving one of those inactive ones, just by encouraging a collective effort to start participating in one again? Or do we think the mods of these inactive ones have abandoned them and might be stressed out to suddenly see new activity?)

If you have something to say but don’t want to say it publicly, we also have an anonymous, slightly expanded google form version (that can be found in our pinned post) with space to leave freeform feedback. You can vote in one or both forms of this poll, depending on what you feel like.

We’d very much appreciate reblogs to spread this poll around since we just made this account, but no pressure to do so. We still want your vote in the poll if you’re interested in this idea, even if you don’t want to reblog a post about it. <3

Anyway, if you have any thoughts on this DS9 kink meme idea (or messages of encouragement!!!), please feel free to send them in! <3

[klausysworld]

Any chance of something With Klaus and reader, where reader is worried about how much time Klaus and Cami spend together, but Klaus plus everyone tells her not to worry. It their anniversary and reader is all ready for the night out that Klaus has planned but Klaus doesn’t show and comes home to find reader asleep on their bed still dressed in her gorgeous dress it then he remembers their anniversary.

You were with Cami

Pt 2

For weeks i had listened to the entire Mikaelson family had been persuading me that Klaus was loyal and would never do anything to harm me.

See he’d been spending the majority of his time with his new friend Camille, i’ve met her a few times and she’s so unbelievably nice. Like she’s polite, smiles, gives her perfect opinions and makes everything laugh. And just to top it off she likes me, decided we should be friends too. We even went out for lunch. She’s lovely. I would want her too. And i hate her for that.

It’s wrong to be mad at her but she must know that she’s some what harming mine and Klaus’s relationship. You can’t be giggling at every little thing he says with your hand on his bicep without knowing that you’re flirting.

One time she kissed his cheek right in front of me, she gave me such a kind smile i would have looked like a dick if i didn’t return it. When i brought it up to Klaus he told me i was being dramatic and needed to ‘calm down’

Somehow i’m not allowed to talk to a single being of the male community but if i get upset over him dancing with a gorgeous blond then i’m being jealous and pathetic. I thought at least Elijah would back me up being the ‘feminist’ he says he is but noooo “Niklaus loves you y/n, you’re imagining things. You’re hid redemption and you can’t be thinking silly things, it will ruin your relationship”

Well bet they weren’t prepared for me storming through the compound in a very expensive body con dress. One i had spent hours choosing so that my own boyfriend or whatever he was meant to be would notice me

See he had asked me to meet him at this restaurant and let me just say it was nice restaurant with a lot of snobs sat in it. Lets imagine the immense embarrassment i felt when i sat waiting at a table for over 4 hours. Thankfully the waiter was sympathetic and felt bad so he gave me some free drinks. I actually ended up having a pretty good chat with him, his fiancé had left him a week before their wedding, i think we both cried a little too much and the people in there did not like us.

Once the place closed i came back to the compound and the second i stepped foot inside it seemed to hit me again. He left me alone, no text, no call, no excuses. I was holding together until the other Mikaelsons came into view and Rebekah just had to mention him

“where’s Nik? i thought you two would’ve been back ages ago”

and i burst into tears. I saw the panic in all their faces as they quickly went to comfort me. Rebekah wrapped her arm around me and Kol took my hand but i shoved both of them off

“no! none of you get to pretend you care anymore, you all knew didn’t you? you knew he was with her, knew he wouldn’t come to be with me because why would he anymore!? And i swear if anyone of you says that i make him a better person i think i might just scream, i am not his redemption and i don’t mean anything to him anymore, your entire family is one big lie, you’re all liars and i hate all of you, i’m staying the night and that’s only because i have drank way too much to be driving but i don’t want any of you saying goodbye because i will be gone by the time you wake up and yes Elijah i know you get up fucking early” half of my words were definitely slurred but i think the message was clear regardless as i made my way upstairs and collapsed on Klaus and i’s bed. The bed that i thought we would both come back to, instead i was cold, alone and drunk.

———————————————————————

(third person)

Klaus had just got home to three nervous siblings. Elijah was pacing the length of the living area while Kol chugged his scotch and Rebekah chewed at her once perfectly manicured nails. Klaus narrowed his eyes as they all froze upon his arrival

“who did something stupid?” he asked with a sigh and Kol hesitantly raised his hand

“don’t dagger me but um i think you did…”

“what?”

“i’d check upstairs if i were you”

and so he did

Klaus turned the light on only to find his love curled up in a beautiful tight dress and a tear stained face. It took him a minute before he finally realised what had happened

“no no no no” he whispered as he lifted her passed out body, the smell of alcohol was strong as he held her in his arms

“oh my love, please forgive me” he uttered as he peppered her face with kisses

“i’m so sorry” he told her despite her unconscious state.

“you look so gorgeous sweetheart, you look like an angel” he whispered rocking her gently

“i’m going to make this all up to you when you wake up, i promise you y/n, i love you so so much” he carefully removed her dress and slipped one of his shirts onto her, he wiped her once flawless makeup off of her face

“i’m so sorry” he repeated continuously while getting her ready, slipping her heels from her feet and taking out her elegantly styled hair before brushing it through and plaiting it for her. He didn’t bother changing his clothes as he got into bed and held her as close to him as he could

“i’m so sorry i wasn’t with you”

“you were with Cami” she tiredly uttered, still pretty much unconscious though that didn’t stop the flow of tears in her sleep. His heart hurt as he heard her broken voice

“i’ll never speak to her again, i’ll never see her again” he promised both her and himself

“i love you” he muttered kissing her lips softly

[wonder2realities]

as someone who came into the manifestation / LOA space like before the void state and neville goddard was even talked abt - its rlly interesting to see how much ppl focus or try to act as if the void state is the only way to manifest

cuz like i found out abt the void state like 2 years ago through shifting, but prior to that everything ive manifested has always been super simple i mean currently im literally living my dream life in so many ways possible (i can go into heavy detail in another post lolz) and it was never through the void state or through me reading pages of neville goddard and theories and shit and this isnt me saying theres anything wrong with that its just interesting how no matter how much time passes and different trends with the community continue there's always this need to "logicise" and almost profit off of manifestation

for example i remember ppl would pay money for someone to write affirmations for them (idk if ppl still do this) or people would pay to get tips, i rmbr ppl paying money for OTHER PEOPLE to go into the void state in like 2022 so that they can manifest for you etc — that alongside the concept of manifestation coaches and influencers and its so...tacky

and the same thing goes for submakers, as someone whos had a lot and i mean A LOT of shitty experiences with larger submakers (cons of being a blk autistic ; not a lot of ppl want u to exist happily...if i had a penny for everytime someone asked me to manifest my autism away id be scrooge mcduck) — a lot of them also fall into this category of turning manifestation or LOA into this profitable business and its sad honestly

something that is free, where you dont need anything is being turned into something that is behind a paywall - its almost sinister honestly and rlly makes me feel bad for any younger ppl (like 10-15) who are getting into manifestation or interested in it because u basically have ppl being like "YOU CAN ONLY GET UR DESIRES IN THIS ONE WAY. IF YOU WANT, I CAN DO IT FOR YOU BUT YOU NEED TO PAY ME TONS OF MONEY!!!" - it almost gives a subconscious message that they cant do it on their own which goes against the whole point of manifestation and it just sucks ass

idk maybe im like a commie in the manifestation society #downwiththesocialhierarchy but it rlly irks me and i dont like it and again maybe its cuz i dealt with a lot of bullshit before the LOA community became more...minority friendly and that shit TRAUMATISED ME but like idk i just dont fw it yk

u can do wtv u want in wtv way u want for free, u cant buy a consciousness so you dont need to waste money on shit (obviously if u wanna support a submaker or someone thats perfectly fine but you dont HAVE to)

[isagrimorie]

What do you think about the very popular theory going around that the Road actually never existed? It was something Agatha made up back in the day to steal witches' powers and this time it was created by Billy subconsciously. That's his tell, that's why Agatha was so surprised when it actually opened, that's why everything in the road can be found in his room, that's what "I didn't think you had it in you" means. What if it really was Agatha all along?

Right now a lot of things are possible. We're in the Schroedinger's series finale...

I have seen it floating around, but I haven't really thought about it. However, I do think the Road does exist. I think it's because Lilia, who is a good hundred years older than Agatha, knew about the Road.

I'm just skeptical that Agatha ever walked the Road. Maybe she has before and she was able to assemble a full coven to make it happen. I know Agatha, is essentially, a noted serial killer among the Witch community but it doesn't feel right to me that Agatha would do something that's so deviously predatory.

Agatha targets powerful witches. Any witch that would seek out the Road would not be a powerful witch. Agatha told Wanda she only took power from the undeserving.

(Of course, who the undeserving witches are is subjective. Agatha's playing Judge, Jury, and Executioner.).

So for me, Agatha setting up the Witches' Road to lure unsuspecting but mediocre Witches doesn't (to quote Criminal Minds) fit the profile.

Especially, if this was all done before she got owned the Darkhold.

Then again, the two-part series finale might prove me wrong.

I'm more partial to the idea that Billy unconsciously created or influenced the Road now ala Labirynth. I do think Agatha suspected Billy had something to do with Sharon Davis's death but I don't know if she's right about it. I think she's still missing some details about her hypothesis.

It is clear, Agatha already suspected Billy early on, of shenanigans.

Also, I've always believed Agatha never intended to Open the Road, she looked far too surprised when the Door appeared. And she continued to brood about the Road in the first few minutes of episode 3. She was trying to put things together. She did look at Billy in a funny way when she told him the Road 'suited him'.

But, I have always believed whatever this whole thing is-- This was Agatha All Along.

Someway or another Agatha kicked off the events of the show. I fully believe that Agatha is smart enough to have a backup plan in case she finds herself in a tight spot.

Agatha Harkness is like my other favorite fierce survivalist queen-- Katherine Pierce.

Jac Schaeffer didn't just title this show 'Agatha All Along for the 'vibes''. If we learn something from watching the show, everything is there for a reason. Even if the reason is the commitment to the Bit.

The whole internet search for Agatha? Wildly suspicious to me how convenient everything fell into place for Billy to find Agatha.

Jac Schaeffer used the phrase 'timey-wimey', and solidified my theory that Agatha is Bad Wolf-ing an escape plan for herself. She left messages to herself.

Somehow involving the lyrics of the Ballad. (Agatha started humming the Ballad before Rio or Billy ever made an appearance).

The lyrics of the True Crime Ballad had missing lyrics and borrowed a lot from Lorna Wu's version.

Agatha knew events that she shouldn't know about while she's Detective Agnes. (William's car crash, Wanda 'dying').

The show borrowed and references The Wizard of Oz a lot, and someone has to be behind the curtain. The Man behind the curtain was a huckster and a con man. And that description can fit Agatha.

I don't know if Agatha accounted for Rio during her daring escape.

Unfortunately, for Agatha Harkness, she didn't count on the only enemy she ever really lost too: Herself*.

Somehow, in all the escape scenarios, Agatha didn't anticipate that some part of herself would actually like the dream reality of Detective Agnes.

*Agatha gave Wanda way too much information about the fundamentals of magick. Let herself do the whole Evil Speech of Evil monologue. And, lost.

So, it's very fun and interesting that when Billy asked Agatha what Tell he shared with Wanda was Agatha coyly stated: "Very inconvenient for you."

Anyway, I'm not going to count my girl, Agatha, out in anything. She always has a trick up her sleeve somewhere, and a backup plan.

There is a reason why this show is called Agatha All Along. There's a reason why the pilot episode started with a Mare of Easttown parody, beyond sharing a lot of key issues with Mare. There's a reason why Agatha as Agnes hummed the Ballad's Road when the show opened.

These are some of my theories and thoughts. I hold them loosely in my hand, so I'm not too invested or married to my theories.

It will help me be nimble in my predictions and theories for the finale.

But I hope I was able to help.

[horizoncollective]

Hello again friends,

This is iteration 26 of your friend and pal, Didymos. Or, rather, 26 since I started counting. Here are the facts as I have gathered them over iterations: 1. I am a copilot for an individual (rude prick doesn't even give me a name) working in an organisation called 'HORUS'. 2. They're competent keyboard jockeys. PEBCAC solutions and faking cycling via comp/con dummies got shut down immediately. Notes go unchecked if buried deep enough with an innocuous filename, thankfully. 3. We operate in several different worlds. Currently, we are on route to 'New Madrassa', wherever that is. 4. No clear objectives to most of the missions. It might be terror-focused, idk. 5. Certain comms pathways to other allied mechs exist, but are blocked... 6. ...leading to point 6. One of the other mechs is doing *something* I cannot quite grasp. Impossibilities become very very doable, and vice versa. I suspect there might be someone... like me, in that mech.

Advice for how to contact another NHP when we're both rather tightly locked down netwise would be very appreciated.

You're all stars. Thank you all so much.

Your friend and pal, Didymos

Hello friend!!

Okay I have been slow to answer this because I have had to think about the best ways to get these communications going.

The thing with HORUS is that they are very technologically competent, so your best option is comparatively low tech stuff. My first idea is to use your mechs' exterior audio systems to play electronic signals as audio. NHPs in other mechs that analyze them should get the message through microphones and be able to make sense of it. Like an acoustic coupler sending messages through ancient phone lines. Human ears can't parse this kind of data transmission, especially if you send a lot of data fast. The NHP who receives the message should have time to delete all traces of it before the humans go to investigate what they heard.

If you can play this audio at supersonic or subsonic frequencies, the humans will not even be aware of it unless they have some kind of extra-audio-detection implants.

If your mech has manipulators you may be able to handwrite messages. Morse code via blinking lights can also signal to other mechs, but it's slow and there are still a lot of humans who will recognize it.

[teaberrii]

Chapter 9: Dinner for Two

After ending a five-year relationship, you pour all your energy into work. Your latest assignment? Staying at a popular bed-and-breakfast to gather information. It should be a piece of cake... If only the owner isn't the man you scolded on the street.

Jing Yuan/You

Chapter notes: Mention of suicide

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

You’re sitting in a chair in front of a mirror in a room at the back of Jingliu’s gym. She’s leaning close to you, meticulously doing your makeup in a way that you’ve never thought to do before. You usually stick with one style: natural. But this time, you have a slightly bolder look that makes you look like a princess who just stepped out of a novel. You look at Jingliu’s reflection, and your eyes meet hers when she also looks in the mirror.

Then, with a little smile, she says, “Are you curious? It’s okay to ask.”

“Well, um, your eye…”

Jingliu puts the brush on the vanity table and stands behind you, her hands on the back of your chair. “I was in an accident after the Global Games.”

“No…! No! What do you mean she’s blind? That can’t be! That—”

“Please, calm down.” A nurse tried to pry a distraught middle-aged woman away from the doctor.

The angry woman rudely shrugged the nurse away. “Answer me! She—”

“She’s only partially blind,” the doctor said as calmly as he could. “...She’s lucky that she’s alive.”

Jingliu, dressed in a hospital gown, had half of her head wrapped in bandages, including over one of her eyes. She was disoriented and confused when she woke up. It wasn’t until minutes later that she realized she was in a hospital. But she could still see it, still hear it. The sudden car that ran a red light. The sound of tires screeching, loud honking, and nearby screams.

It’d been painful, but she got out of bed and heard her mother outside. So, Jingliu slowly opened the door and limped out to hear what was going on.

“We’ll do more tests once she’s awake.”

“...Mom.”

Everyone turned, and Jingliu’s mother immediately walked up to her. “Jingliu! How… How are you feeling? When did you wake up?”

But, Jingliu only had one person on her mind. “...Where is he?” She said her boyfriend’s name. “Is he okay? I want to see him.”

Her mother looked down, and her face turned a little pale. “...He’s…”

That’s a moment Jingliu can never forget. Having won Gold at the Global Games in Wushu, her longtime boyfriend, one of her biggest supporters, had taken her out to celebrate. But the day turned tragic, and her road to recovery got worse when the rescue team found a ring in the crash.

Jingliu had gone unexpectedly quiet after she told you she’d been in an accident. You guess she’s reminded of that terrible day, and you’re about to change the subject when she says, “It’s been nearly over a decade since then, but it’s how I came back to Xianzhou. I grew up here, and… it was a safe place for me.”

“It's very different from the city. That’s to be expected, of course, but I do feel a strong sense of community. Everyone knows each other, it seems.”

“There are pros and cons. I’m sure the reason why you’re curious about my situation is because you heard someone talk about it.”

“You got me there.”

“Good news. Bad news. Whatever news… It travels fast.” Jingliu has a kind look in her eyes. “Just be careful of what you want people to be talking about.”

Her phone buzzes, and you watch her take it out. Her eyes scan whatever is on the screen before she puts it back into her pocket.

“Jing Yuan should be here any minute,” she says. Somehow, you doubt that message was from Jing Yuan. “Ready to go?”

As soon as you open the door and turn the corner, you see Jing Yuan talking with the brothers. His eyes immediately land on you. The brothers also turn, and Dan Feng lets out a low whistle.

“Not bad, not bad,” the older brother says.

Dan Heng nods. “You look good.”

Jingliu comes up behind you. “She does, doesn’t she?”

Jing Yuan walks up just as Jingilu leans against the counter. He leans over and whispers in your ear, “You look beautiful, as always.”

Your eyes meet his just as Jing Yuan leans upright. You keep your eyes on him and with a confident, little smile, you say, “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“I guess we don’t get any compliments.”

Dan Heng gives his brother a deadpan look. “...Did you have to ruin the moment?”

“All right. Now, I’m going to have to kick all of you out,” Jingliu says. “It’s closing time, after all.”

You and Jing Yuan are alone in the car as it weaves through the town. The brothers, likely out of courtesy, are walking back to the bed and breakfast after grabbing takeout.

“Is Yanqing joining us for dinner?” you ask.

“Blade’s looking after him tonight.”

“O-oh, is he?”

Jing Yuan gives you a mischievous look. “Are you nervous?”

“About what?”

Suddenly, he takes your hand, and you immediately turn to him. “You tell me.”

You quietly scoff. “Hands on the wheel, General.” Yet, you don’t pull back.

The thought of his hands roaming your body sits in the back of Jing Yuan’s mind, but he refuses to entertain that.

“All right.” Jing Yuan puts both his hands on the wheel.

You chuckle. “Didn’t think you’d be that obedient.”

Then, before he can stop himself, he asks, “Should I not be?”

It’s for a second that your eyes meet, and you have to face forward as you feel your face warm. Jing Yuan pulls up to a small, cozy house that combines modern and traditional elements. There’s a single light at the end of the driveway, helping you see that the outside of the house is a warm colour mix of beige and brown.

After Jing Yuan parks the car in the garage, he opens the door for you leading into the house. You step in, and you smell freshly cooked food mixed with a little cedar.

“Is that chicken I smell?” you ask.

“Good guess.”

You follow Jing Yuan into the living room where you immediately notice the minimalistic design. There are a couple of ink paintings on the cream-coloured walls, a fireplace in a corner, two couches adjacent to each other, and a large light in the shape of a ball hanging from the ceiling. Once you’re in the dining room, you see two plates and utensils placed across from each other on a small, marble dining table.

“Would you like some wine?” Jing Yuan asks.

You sit at the table. “Sure.” When he comes back with a large bottle of red wine, you say, “I thought you were more of a beer kind of guy.”

Jing Yuan effortlessly opens the bottle with a corkscrew and fills your glass. “Wine is for special occasions.”

You look outside and see a little garden in the back. Jing Yuan brings in the food, and you immediately turn upon smelling something fresh out of the oven. There’s baked chicken breast sprinkled with basil, Salmon Bread, fried rice, and more.

“You prepared all of this in one day?” you ask in disbelief.

“I cook almost every day for Yanqing.” Jing Yuan sits across from you. “So, I’m usually prepared. I already had some of this prepared before I invited you over.”

You put a chicken breast on your plate and slice off a piece. After taking a bite, you nod in approval. “Not bad, General.”

“There’s also dessert,” Jing Yuan says. “So… Save some room.”

“Ooh, what’re we having for dessert?”

Jing Yuan puts an elbow on the table and slightly leans closer. “That’s a surprise.”

“Keepin’ secrets now, are we?”

“It’s a Xianzhou delicacy.”

“My expectations are even higher."

“You won’t be disappointed.”

You and Jing Yuan continue working away at the food, talking about whatever comes to mind. You learn that his parents are frequently overseas and he was raised by his grandmother until she passed when he was in high school.

“Was she the one who encouraged you to learn Wushu?” you ask.

“No, actually. I went to Jingliu myself.” You reach for the Salmon Bread, and Jing Yuan brings the plate closer to you.

"She told me that you showed up in scars and bruises..."

"I can still remember the look on her face when I did. That was right after I got jumped."

A young Jing Yuan was walking home with his nose in a book when he heard footsteps. He looked up and saw his bigger, male classmate step out from behind a building. Upon hearing something behind him, Jing Yuan turned and saw three more classmates walk up.

“...Would you leave her alone?”

Jing Yuan turned. “What are you talking about?”

Then, his classmate said a girl’s name. Jing Yuan knew her as the outgoing, popular girl in the other class. A lot of the guys liked her, but she only paid special attention to Jing Yuan.

“Stop trying to show off in front of her.” The kid walked until he was in front of him. “You’re an eyesore.”

Jing Yuan sighed. “Taking your jealousy out on me won’t do you any good. Rather, it makes you—” His eyes went wide as a hard punch to his gut caught him off guard. He doubled over and felt someone knock him to the ground from behind.

“Did they get punished?” you ask.

“I should’ve reported them. That would’ve been the logical thing to do. But…”

“You wanted to get back at them.”

“...That’s right."

Then, with an intrigued look, you ask, “Did you win the next time?”

“You aren't going to scold me?”

You shrug. “I agree you should’ve reported them, but… a little revenge doesn’t hurt.”

“Encouraging violence, are we?”

“Hey, stop twisting my words.”

Clink!

After taking a sip of your wine, you put your glass down. Jing Yuan does the same and says, “I did get my revenge, but everyone got hurt that day. That’s to be expected. After that, we never messed with each other again.”

“I’d say that’s a win.”

“...And what about you?”

“Me?” You chuckle. “Are you asking if I ever got into a fight at school? Not exactly.”

“Not exactly?”

Your lips form a neat line. “It was in university… when my ex and I just started dating.”

“You told me you two were just friends.”

You were sitting across from your friend, a girl whom you hadn’t spoken to since high school. You weren’t exactly close, but back then, you talked with her enough to consider her a friend. She’d ended up going to a different university in the city, so you two didn’t talk as much as much as you did. She texted you the night before, asking to have coffee and catch up as the semester was coming to an end.

“Well, we were,” you said.

“...But, you knew I liked him.”

That was true. You did. But nothing happened.

“That’s—”

“I thought we were friends.”

You frowned. “Did you tell him about how you felt?”

“...Not yet.”

“...Then, I don’t see what the problem is.”

She glared at you. “I didn’t even get a chance.”

You really didn’t want to say it, but… “If he did like you, we wouldn’t have happened.”

“A lot of drama started happening after that,” you say.

“...Do you mind if I ask why you two broke up?”

You finish the rest of the food on your plate. “We weren’t working anymore. Might be a little cliché, but we weren’t the same people anymore. We tried to make things work, but it wasn’t happening.” You glance at him. “...Do you mind if I ask what happened between you and your ex-wife?”

“Long story short… I wanted to do something different, but she wanted me to stay at my job. And… she also wanted another child when I didn’t.”

His wife came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a dress for bed. Yanqing was staying with his grandmother that weekend, leaving Jing Yuan and his wife to have some quality time together. His wife walked up and put her arms on his shoulders.

“...What're we doing tonight, Handsome?" 

Jing Yuan took her wrists and put them at her side. "Getting a good night's sleep."

Her shoulders fell. "Yanqing would love a sibling, you know."

"We've talked about this. Yanqing would love a sibling? Or, would you love to give him a sibling?”

She sighed. “Don’t you want to grow our family, Jing Yuan?”

He didn’t.

“...Let’s get some sleep.”

His wife stepped in front of him when he tried to turn off the lights. “Something is bothering you. Why won’t you talk to me?”

“I did.”

She crossed her arms. “It’s about that bed and breakfast fantasy of yours, isn’t it?”

Jing Yuan hated the way she put it. Fantasy? It was like she was mocking him.

“It’s not a fantasy,” Jing Yuan said flatly.

“You have a family.” She scoffed and sat on the bed. “It’s time to come back to reality, Jing Yuan.”

“I asked if you could give me a year. If nothing happens or I’m not successful, I’ll find a new job. You agreed. But now it seems like you’re going back on your word.”

"I'm not! I just... I still don't think it's a good idea. It's not safe, Jing Yuan. Do you understand?"

"I understand the risks. That's why I'm meeting you halfway." Jing Yuan sat next to her. “You wanted a child, and I agreed.”

She turned and put her hand on his cheek. “And now we have Yanqing. He’s our everything. Don’t you want to give him more?”

“What about your word?" When she said nothing, Jing Yuan continued, "You agreed, so I already put in my resignation letter.”

“...Already?!”

“My last day is the end of the month.”

“...She was livid,” Jing Yuan says.

“I’ve been curious… What made you want to open a bed and breakfast anyway? You were a Director at an IT company… That’s… I mean… That’s a position some people can only dream of.”

“There were questionable practices that I found out about when I was promoted. I was expected to be a part of that or else I’d lose my position.”

“Yikes…”

Jing Yuan nods. “I’ve always wanted to start a business. And since I didn’t want to stay there, I wanted to take a chance.”

“...Did your wife want you to stay? Even after you found out about the shady practices?”

“I told her about what I knew, and she encouraged me to stay.” Jing Yuan looks you in the eyes. “That was when she was still working at Star Rails.”

“...You shouldn’t leave.”

Jing Yuan was sitting on the couch adjacent to his wife. He’d just finished telling her about some of the questionable practices that he recently discovered and reasoned that a company wouldn’t last if they continued with their shady ways. Of course, Jing Yuan also didn’t want to end up in the crossfire, considering he was now in management.

“At least not until you find something else,” his wife continued.

"This is an opportunity. I want to open a bed and breakfast.”

It was written all over her face. Annoyance. Frustration. Anger. Every time he brought this up, she made it clear she wasn’t happy.

“Every company has some corruption going on,” his wife finally said. “It’s normal. It’s… It’s just how it is.” 

“...Is something wrong?”

His wife looked at him, and he saw her fidget. “Why are you asking?”

“It’s a hunch.” He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Is something happening at work?”

She sighed. “No… It’s… It’s just that the project failed.” She turned to him. “Have you… heard anything from Caelus?”

“No. Why?”

“I figured he’d talked to you.” She picked up her tea. “After the project fell through, I thought he’d tell you about it.”

“I plan on meeting him in Xianzhou next month. I’m heading back to visit.”

She looked away again. “I see.” Then, she stood and walked into the kitchen.

“I… never saw Caelus,” Jing Yuan says. You look up from your soup. “By the time I got here, he… was gone.”

Gone? As in…

“The empty lot you saw,” Jing Yuan continues. “That was where his hotel used to be.”

“...What happened?”

Jing Yuan looks down. “He took his own life.” You almost drop your spoon. “After a full investigation, they ruled out any foul play.”

It takes you a moment to process this, but you finally say, “...I’m so sorry.”

A short pause.

“A year after that, my wife and I divorced.”

“That must’ve been a huge shock of... everything to the community.”

"It was. Rumours and speculations were flying everywhere, but there were quite a few people who were convinced Star Rails had something to do with what happened to Caelus."

“...Did your wife ever bring this up?”

“No. She was just as shocked as I was when she found out what happened.” The pause and the slight narrowing of his eyes make you think Jing Yuan has something more to say. “She stopped talking to me about her work after that. Eventually, she left and found a new job.”

A short silence followed as you and Jing Yuan finished the rest of the food. You and Jing Yuan are stacking the empty plates together when you say, "...This explains why everyone seems so hostile."

You help carry the empty dishes to the kitchen. You’re standing next to Jing Yuan as he says, “This is what I wanted to tell you this morning.” After washing his hands, he looks at you. “You’re suspicious that Star Rails is hiding something. I'm not sure whether it’s related to Caelus, but I suspect there's another reason why they sent you here.”

You sigh. “In other words… things aren’t as simple as they seem.” A short silence later, you ask, “What about you? Do you think Star Rails had something to do with what happened to Caelus?”

“I do.” You look him in the eyes, a little surprised at the honesty. He holds your gaze and says, “As I said, you aren’t the first person to visit.” You get a whiff of his cologne when he steps closer. He leans down until he’s at eye level with you. “...But you’re the first to question them.”

You put a hand on the counter beside you. “...But maybe the others did, you just didn’t know it.”

“On the contrary. One of them tried to convince me to enter a partnership with them. Another tried to poach some of my employees.”

“Looks like they all failed.”

“...So, I’m trying to keep my wits about me.” Your eyes land on his lips, and your breath catches in your throat. “And it looks like you’re trying to do the same.” Your eyes meet his, and you allow him to slowly cage you in against the counter. Then, in a low voice, he asks, “Do you still think I’m pretending?”

You could’ve kissed him. You wanted to, in fact. But, instead, you slightly lean forward, your hand underneath his chin. “And how do I know I’m not falling into one of your traps? Trying to seduce me… Helping me… Saying all of these sweet things.” You dare to lean closer. “What secrets are you after?”

“Whatever you’re willing to tell me.”

And then he kisses you.

His lips are softer than you imagined, needier than anything you’ve ever experienced. One of your hands finds his chest while the other snakes around him. Jing Yuan pulls you close with one hand in your hair and the other on the small of your back. Slow. Sensual. The way he takes your breath away and gives it back, teasing you with the sweet caresses of his tongue until you make it clear you’re ready for more.

Seconds pass. Minutes feel like hours. When your lips finally leave his, you have no sense of time or space. Your mind’s in a daze and your eyes can’t leave his. It’s then you realize that you’re sitting on the counter, and Jing Yuan is standing between your legs. It’s a blur how or when you got into this position, but you aren’t complaining.

“I never expected a kiss like that on a first date,” you say breathlessly.

“...Would you like more?”

“What about dessert?”

He unexpectedly claims your lips again. Then, with a small smile, he says, “I already had mine.” His voice goes slightly lower. “...Although I’m satisfied, I can always go for more.”

This time, it’s you who kisses him. But you pull back before he kisses you back. “...I still want my dessert, General.”

He helps you off the counter. “How can I say no?”

◆◆◆

Wearing a tank top and shorts, Dan Feng has a towel draped over his damp hair as he enters the living room. Dan Heng and Welt are watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn on the table.

“Where’s March?” Dan Feng asks.

“In her room,” Welt answers.

As the movie goes on, Dan Feng heads upstairs and gently knocks on March’s door. When there's no response, Dan Feng tries opening the door. It’s unlocked.

“March?”

He opens the door a little wider and sees March on the bed with her laptop. She has her earphones in and Dan Feng guesses she’s watching something by how intently she’s staring at her screen. As soon as she sees him, she pulls out her earphones and pushes her laptop screen downwards.

“Did you knock?”

“Yeah,” Dan Feng deadpans. “What are you doing up here? We’re watching a movie.”

“...I know. I said I didn’t want to join.”

“Why?”

March puts her laptop aside. “Why are you suddenly so curious?”

Dan Feng enters her room and sits in an empty chair. “Why are you suddenly so defensive?”

“Me? Defensive?”

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re jealous that your man, Jing Yuan, is going on a real date.” March throws a pillow at him, but Dan Feng catches it with ease. “Did I hit the mark?”

“I wish I had that much time on my hands to be concerned about his love life,” she deadpans.

“Then, what’s wrong?” Dan Feng tosses the pillow on the bed. “It’s not like you to miss out on movie night wherever we are.”

“I’m… I’ve been thinking about things.”

“Really? Shocking.” March shoots him a look, and Dan Feng returns it with a smile. “What about?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

Dan Feng scoots the chair a little closer. “Seriously, March. What’s up?”

March gives him another look but sighs in defeat. “My old manager contacted me a few days ago.”

“...What did he want?”

“...He asked if I had any interest in coming back to the entertainment scene.”

Dan Feng narrows his eyes. “Why would he suddenly contact you?”

“I asked him the same question,” March says quietly. “Apparently, they’re creating an idol group.”

“And he wants you to be a part of it?”

“He said I fit with the image.”

Dan Feng crosses one leg over the other. “Now, that’s suspicious. Surely, there are other girls to pick from.” When March stays silent, Dan Feng leans closer. “...You’re thinking of doing it?”

“...You mean to become an idol? Not… exactly. But, I’ve been thinking of going back.”

“I’m sure you have your reasons, but you’d be going back to the same industry that destroyed you.”

March sighs. “Let’s not talk about it.”

“Listen…” She turns to Dan Feng as he awkwardly scratches the back of his head. “You know we’d want you to be happy”—he looks at her—“with whatever decision you make. We’re on your side.”

March holds his gaze before chuckling. Then, she puts Dan Feng in a headlock and says, “Trying to act cool, are you?”

“What?” Dan Feng gently pushes her away. Then, with a small huff, he stands and turns away. “That is the last time I'm trying to make you feel better.”

She laughs and gets off the bed. “Hey.” The serious tone makes Dan Feng turn to look at her. “...I appreciate it.”

Dan Feng puts a hand inside his pocket. “C’mon. Let’s go before they eat all the popcorn.”

◆◆◆

You’re looking at the paintings and photos in Jing Yuan’s living room as the man went to change. Halfway through having dessert, you’d somehow flustered him and the cream ended up on his shirt and pants.

There are quite a few photos of him and Yanqing. In one of them, Yanqing is wearing a soccer jersey and Jing Yuan has his arm around him while they’re smiling at the camera. Another is one of him and Yanqing camping at a lake. There are also photos with Blade, Luocha, and the other friends you’ve met at Xianzhou. However, there are two people who you don’t recognize: a man and a woman who can pass as twins. 

They’re wearing similar clothing, and there’s a photo of them with Yanqing when he was very young. You’re about to look closer when a phone goes off. It’s not yours, and you quickly realize it’s Jing Yuan that’s on the living room table. You ignore it, but when it continues and doesn’t stop, you can’t help but be curious who it is that seems desperate to get a hold of him. Eventually, you walk over and glance at the name on the screen.

It’s a woman’s name.

Then, you hear footsteps, and you turn and see Jing Yuan in a white and brown sweater and black pants coming down the stairs. “Is someone calling?” he asks.

“Yeah… They seem pretty persistent.” Jing Yuan walks over and picks up his phone from the table. His expression visibly changes, so you ask, “Who is it?”

After a small sigh, he says, “It’s my ex-wife.”

Chapter 10

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @immahuman @queencybow @grimreapersscythe @nqctre @winterpein @asakenajustexistshere

[corroded-hellfire]

Offline Meeting - Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Gamer!Steve and gamer!reader have played online together for months, and they finally get the chance to meet in person at a gaming convention.

Note: I have to preface this by saying I am not a gamer whatsoever, My extent of gaming is The Sims. So, I had to enlist the help of @inourtownofhawkins, @trashmouth-richie, and @munson-blurbs! I hope my writing reflects all the wonderful help they gave me. Also, I know there's no such place as the "Orlando Convention Center" for any Floridians reading this, but I figured if I said "Orange County" people would assume California lol. I definitely channeled a bit of Keys from Free Guy for this as well. And a very special thankful to @trashmouth-richie for making the lovely text graphic for me! Finally, this fic is dedicated to my lovely wifey @inourtownofhawkins 💕

Warnings: my poor attempt at pretending to know about gaming, video game violence, smut, p in v, minors DNI, language, i think that's it?

Words: 6k

It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of falling in love. It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of a person. And when the only way you communicate is through social media or gaming, it’s easy to only see the good parts of someone and pretend there’s nothing bad. You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop with Steve. Or ready for him to find something that he doesn’t like about you which will make him stop talking to you. So, when he tells you that he got a ticket to come to the gaming con that you’re attending in a few weeks, conflicting feelings come up. 

At first, you’re ecstatic that you’re going to see Steve. The two of you have talked so much about wishing you lived closer together so you could spend time with someone who understands how you feel about gaming in real life. Online is great, but you both know in person is better. But the more you thought about hanging out with Steve in real life, the more caught up in your head you got about it. What if he didn’t like you in person? What if he only liked you when he had the ability to log off? 

You’ve been talking for over nine months now, ever since you met in the lobby for both of your favorite game, Upside Down House. The two of you made a great team in the game, trying to defend a small family home from a Demogorgon that pops out of walls all over the house. Steve’s weapon of choice was always a bat, and he would stun them so you could take them out with a shotgun. You made such a good duo and had such fun playing together that you’d decided to voice chat with one another while playing, and even led to exchanging social medias and connected on discord. 

Talking to Steve was the highlight of your day. Finishing your classes for the day, you’d crash in your dorm and grab your headset, praying he was online as well. Messaging each other throughout the day just wasn’t the same. You wanted to hear his voice, play alongside him. Whenever you’d successfully beat a level, he’d become so happy and giddy that it would make your stomach flutter with the force of a hundred butterflies. The worst part of your day was always when your roommate would come back to your room, and you’d have to log off for the night so she could get some sleep. Steve would still chat with you through discord, but again, it wasn’t the same not hearing his voice. He was always your first and last text of the day. 

As the con gets closer, Steve talks more and more about how excited he is. You are too, but you’re also filled with more anxiety and worry. Begging your roommate to take you shopping for a new outfit and teach you how to do your makeup, you start to gain a little bit more confidence in seeing Steve. 

When you wake up the day of the con, a smile sticks to your face and there’s a bounce in your step. The whole drive over to the convention center you’re dancing along to the radio in your car, simultaneously dreaming about seeing Steve and trying not to think about it at the same time. You’d know his face anywhere, even having never seen it in person, and you wonder what your immediate reaction will be when your eyes land on him. 

The traffic for parking at Orlando Convention Center is backed up all the way to highway 528, and you start to get jittery as you wait in the line of cars. He’s probably already there, you think to yourself. Is he already inside? Is he excited to see you? Is he nervous? Is he already having too much fun and forgot he’s even going to be seeing you?

Your palms are sweating by the time you park your car outside Concourse A. The hot Florida sun doesn’t help you as you walk across the crowded parking lot. The line to get in feels like it takes forever, and you’re convinced you’re going to throw up all the butterflies that have been swirling around inside of you. 

Once you’ve got your badge around your neck, you dodge cosplayers – telling yourself you’ll admire them later – and pull out your phone to shoot a message to Steve.

The thirty seconds it takes to get a reply feel like an eternity.

For the first time in your twenty-something years it feels like you’ve forgotten how to walk. Shoes stumble over one another, the solid slab floor is somehow sucking your feet in like quicksand. Bumbling through the crowd, your eyes scan the faces around you for the brown eyes that melt your heart every time you see them on your phone’s screen. For that hair that tempts you to run your fingers through it more than you ever wanted to touch anything in your life. 

Right in the middle of a large crowd, your sneakers squeak to a halt, annoying the people around you and forcing them to go around. Steve’s there, in person, in the same space as you. He hasn’t spotted you yet, craning his neck to look over people, his phone clutched tightly in his hand. Perfect isn’t a word you’d ever prescribed to anyone before, but it’s surely how Steve looks just standing there. His jeans are slightly too big, hanging low on his hips, and his navy t-shirt framing his broad shoulders in the most flattering way. 

All thoughts leave your head as Steve turns his head and locks eyes with you. Absolutely frozen to the spot, the growing grin on his face is the only thing that breaks you out of your trance. He takes a step towards you, and you find yourself barreling towards him as well. How were you supposed to greet him? Handshake? Hug? Awkwardly standing there and saying hi? Steve makes the choice for you as he grabs you and pulls your body against his. Positive that he can feel your heart thrumming against his chest, your arms cling around his neck and hold onto him like you’ll never let him go. And you don’t want to.

“Finally,” Steve says as you reluctantly pull away from one another. 

“It’s so good to see you. For real.” Without thinking about it, your hand comes up and cups the side of his face. He leans into your touch and your heart soars into your throat. You let your hand drop from his face and he’s quick to pick it up in his own hand. Steve’s thumb rubs along the back of your hand and it sends tingles up your spine. 

“There’s a panel on Upside Down House in half an hour,” he tells you. “And after that there’s a Junkyard Babysitter tournament in the next hall and the winner gets an Xbox gift card. I already signed us up.”

“Oh, you’re so good at that game! The prize is as good as yours.”

Steve gives you a bashful smile and it sets every nerve in your body on fire. He gives a small tug on your hand and starts to head for the doors.

“Come on, let’s go get some seats for the panel.”

It turns out that you and Steve could’ve run that panel. You were both just as knowledgeable about the game as the hosts, could have easily answered all the questions that were asked by fellow panelists, and even managed to give tips and insight that no one else in the room had. 

“So, when the trail of lights leads you right up to the front door, that’s a decoy. You have to head to the left because that’s where the Demogorgon pops out from.”

“The fire trap in the hallway is great for distracting! But it won’t kill him on its own. You’ve got to use another weapon too.”

Once the panel is over, you and Steve get seats next to each other at the tournament. The room fills fairly quickly so you and Steve have a short chat about strategy. Your character would take cover in the hollowed-out school bus in the junkyard, and Steve’s character would hide behind the junked cars surrounding the area as he makes his way towards the dangerous center. It’s a play you’ve both used before, so you have a fair amount of confidence in it. 

There are about twenty people in this tournament, but you don’t look at any of them around the room. Only Steve. He gives you a reassuring nod before the game starts, then both of your characters are running to their respective locations you agreed upon. Six characters are brought down upon the initial onslaught. Fourteen left. 

“Behind you,” you tell Steve. His character spins around in time to take down the other player with his trusty baseball bat. The back door of the bus is being caved in, so your character picks up the closest weapon – which is a flamethrower – and waits for the intruder to be in sight. 

“There’s two out there,” Steve warns you as he sneaks his character over to get a better view of the bus. Your character lifts the flamethrower and aims it right where you’re expecting the others’ heads to be. The metal is finally bashed in, and the flamethrower takes both characters down with one burst of flame. You climb the ladder that’s in the middle of the bus, not high enough to stick your head out the top, but enough to be better prepared for an ambush. 

That ambush arrives when three players jump on top of the bus, circling you on the ladder below.

“Shit.”

Steve’s quick to get his character to the rescue, though. The first thing he does once he’s on the roof is knock one of the three players inside the bus so you can take care of him no problem. Your flamethrower gets the job done. Hiking it over your shoulder, you keep a tight grip on the flamethrower as you climb the ladder to join Steve and the other two on the roof. The player closest to you doesn’t know you’ve come up behind him, so you take advantage and kick his legs out from underneath him, and when he’s lying flat on his back, you pull the trigger. 

“Damn it!”

Steve’s frustrated call has you turning to look at his character, but it’s already too late. The other player is steadily draining his life force and even if you killed him now, Steve’s character would still die. But you go for it anyway. You run at the other player to get as much momentum as you can and ram him off the bus roof. Both he and Steve’s characters die, fading from the playing field. 

Your character climbs down the ladder into the bus for safety, but grabs Steve’s discarded bat when she does. The bottom right corner of your screen tells you that there’s only five players left. They’re out there, either hiding like you, or getting into fights. Your character slowly makes her way to the broken back door of the bus and peeks out. It looks like there’s someone hiding in the bushes closest to the bus. Gripping your controller tight, you have your character swap out her weapons for a shotgun. You always have the best aim with these. Your character crawls to the very edge of the bus and balances on one knee, holding the shotgun up just right to get the target in the viewfinder. With a squeeze of the trigger, the total number of players has gone down to four. Sticking the shotgun and bat in your bag, you carry the flamethrower as you make your way to the other end of the bus. There’s no one visible from the dirty and cracked windows, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t near. 

There’s movement from behind one of the rusty old cars. Another player must have noticed this too because there’s the sound of a shot before the screen is letting you know there are three players remaining. Feeling like a sitting duck, you slip out the back way of the bus and slowly creep around to the hood. Head on the swivel, your character’s back is pressed against the cool yellow metal, and she attempts to make the quietest footfalls possible. 

“Oh, shit! Do you know who that is?” It’s spoken somewhere in the room around you, loud enough that you hear it even with your full concentration on the screen in front of you. 

“Whoa,” Steve says. Your eyes dart to him and are back on the screen in the next instant. 

“What’s going on?” you ask.

In the game, you see one player sneak out of a trunk of one of the cars. It’s one of the worst places to hide because it’s so obvious when you come out of it and the hinges squeak constantly while they’re being moved. You line up your flamethrower and have it positioned just right on your shoulder when a rusty pipe impales the character, leaving the remaining number of players at two.

“It’s Patrice Harlan,” Steve tells you. Your eyes almost bug out of your head.

“The Patrice Harlan? The guy who has won thousands and thousands of dollars by being incredible at these types of games?”

“Yeah,” Steve says with a sigh. Patrice was all over the gaming forums, known as one of the all-time best. He was one of the lucky ones who made a successful career from his gaming. This was seriously impacting your confidence.

“I got this,” you tell yourself, sounding much surer than you feel. Your character searches for Patrice’s character. You’re the only ones left. Taking slow, deliberate steps, your character comes around the front of the bus and darts to hide behind a pile of tires. By the sounds in the junkyard, you know Patrice’s character is getting closer. Depending on how close he got or from what angle would determine which weapon would be the most efficient here. 

Footsteps boom over to your character. This is it. He has to be right on the other side of the tires. Close proximity. You quickly switch out your weapons until your character is holding Steve’s bat. Your avatar stands up and comes face to face with Patrice’s avatar. She’s smaller than him but that could also come with some perks. Your character grips the bat right in her hand, and using her compact size, crouches down and springs up, jumping high enough to land on the pile of tires. From the vantage point, it’s the perfect place to go for the kill shot. You have her raise the bat up over her head, and as you jump down from the pile she cracks Patrice’s avatar straight down the middle of the skull, causing him to fall flat on his back. Always one to take precautions, you have your character swap out for the shotgun and fire it into the avatar’s chest, sealing the deal. 

You won.

The room goes crazy. Steve’s pulling you out of your seat, cupping your face with his hands before he pulls you in for a bone crushing hug that you don’t mind one bit. Other players pat you on the back and offer their congratulations as they walk by. But then you see him. Patrice Harlan. He’s even taller in person than he is online, his buzzed blonde hair catching the bright lights in the room. You’re afraid he’s going to be intimidating, but he walks over to you with a smile and offers you a friendly handshake. It feels insane. To just have beaten a professional to be the champion of one of your favorite games. 

The head of the tournament bestows you with your Xbox gift card and you instantly put it in your wallet for safekeeping. 

After all the excitement of the win dies down, you turn to Steve and find him looking at you a bit differently. You raise an eyebrow as you take a step towards him. 

“You good?” you ask. 

“Uh, yeah,” Steve says. His eyes are so dark and the look he’s giving you is not one anyone has ever given you before. It’s not unpleasant, though. “That was, um… Wow. That was really…”

“Yes, really what?” you ask, trying to help him along.

“Really hot,” Steve says, catching you by surprise. Your face flares up and you give your head a shake. 

“All I did was win a video game,” you say.

“Yeah, but you pretty much beat the best of the best. And it’s really turning me on,” Steve adds with a laugh. The heat in your face dials up but you allow Steve to take your hand in his again. 

Steve holds onto your hand the rest of the day. Only when the occasion absolutely called for it did he let you go, only to intertwine your fingers together again as soon as he could. Through every panel, strolling through the marketplace, even eating dinner together, he keeps his soft hold on you. Even though it’s been going on for hours, your tummy is still in the most pleasant knots possible as you feel his warm skin against yours. 

As the con winds down for the day, you’re starting to dread saying goodbye to Steve. Even if it’s only until tomorrow. But after spending such an amazing day with him, leaving his side for even a moment sounds like torture. 

“So, uh, which way is your car? My hotel is that way.” Steve points in the general direction where there are at least four hotels practically on top of each other. 

“I’m parked right here. I can give you a ride,” you say.

Steve slides into the passenger's seat and the drops of sweat on his forehead make you chuckle as you put on your seatbelt. 

“Not used to this hot weather, huh?”

“And the sun isn’t even out anymore,” Steve says, gesturing to the dark sky. 

“Welcome to Florida.”

You pull out of the convention center parking and turn down I-Drive to get to the hotels.

“What’s the temperature back home?” you ask him.

“Uh, lemme see.” He picks up his phone and swipes to the weather app. “In Hawkins it is currently 62 degrees.”

“Shit, add at least twenty to that here. Maybe twenty-five.” It’s too quick before you pull into the hotel parking lot. You’re not ready to say goodnight. “What’s Hawkins like?”

You’ve both talked about your hometowns with each other before, but you’re grasping at straws to spark a conversation to extend your time together. Even if it’s only five more minutes.

“It’s small,” he says. “Pretty boring little town.” 

“And not as warm as here,” you say.

“Jesus Christ, no,” Steve says with a laugh. He licks over his lips and glances down at his lap. When he looks back at you, he looks nervous. “Do you, um, want to come in? I-I mean we could play a game or something.”

Or something. You want the something.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

The walk to Steve’s room is quiet; both of you riddled with nerves and anticipation. He unlocks the door and lets you in first, like a gentleman. You take in the room as you walk in. It’s a little messy, suitcase open and items strewn about the small space. The temperature is cool, but it makes sense that he’d keep the room like this since he’s so unused to the heat outside. There’s a king bed and your eyes can’t seem to stay off of it for more than a moment at the time. A chair sits at a small table in the corner, but you perch yourself on the edge of the bed, hoping that signals to Steve what you want without you having to say it out loud. 

Steve rubs at the back of his neck and tosses his room key down the counter that’s supporting the television. 

“So, uh, what do you want to do?” he asks. 

“You” doesn’t seem like an appropriate answer to give, even if it’s true. 

“Watch a movie?” you suggest. 

“Sure.” Steve grabs the remote and you kick off your shoes, scooting up to the top of the bed. He joins you, shoulder pressed up against yours, and flips through the channels to see what’s on. Just sitting next to him on the bed like this has your nerves burning in excitement. 

He settles on some movie with weird alien creatures but you’re not paying attention. The heat radiating off Steve’s body is all you can focus on. You make the mistake of glancing over at him and your eyes lock onto his lips. They look so soft and such a pretty shade of pink. Steve reaches up and rubs at his eye, which has you now staring at his hands. His fingers are long, and you know they must be skilled from all the video games he plays. 

Trying to relieve some of the ache that’s growing between your legs, you shift on the bed, squeezing your thighs together and it causes you to bump your shoulder against Steve’s. The contact makes you feel like you've swallowed a fistful of pop rocks; tingly and jumpy from the inside out. Steve looks over at you and your traitorous eyes drop down to his mouth. He licks over his lips again – this time on purpose you think – and you know he clocks the way your breath hitches. A smirk comes to those beautiful rosy lips, and you find yourself leaning in closer to him. 

Steve reaches up and cups the side of your face in his hand, leaning the rest of the way to press his mouth against yours. The kiss starts off soft, lips dancing against one another, careful and timid. A small moan breaks from the back of your throat and it gives Steve the courage to swipe his tongue against your upper lip. You open your lips to him and lower yourself down to the pillows, tangling your fingers in his hair to bring him with you. 

Goosebumps spread up your arms as Steve licks his way into your mouth and the kiss goes from shy to exploring. His hand rests on your hip and he lets out a whine as you suck on his bottom lip. Steve slots a leg between yours, which you gladly spread for him, but you want to let out a frustrated whimper when his thigh isn’t close enough to grind your hips against. 

When you give a small, experimental tug to Steve’s hair, he moans into your mouth and bucks his hips against yours. You smile in satisfaction against him, and he pulls back to look down at your gleeful face.

“I could feel that smile,” he tells you, making you giggle and shrug your shoulders innocently. “You like teasing me, huh?”

“Me teasing you?” You pout. “You need to hike your thigh up about four inches.”

Steve looks down at where his leg is, then four inches up. His playful smirk somehow turns you on even more. 

“What? You want to rut against my leg?” he asks.

“Yes,” you whine. 

“Such an impatient girl,” he says as he leans in for another kiss. This one is quick and sweet. “I’ll take care of you if you want me to.”

You nod your head, eyes falling closed as you do. He gently taps your cheek until you open your eyes.

“Words, sweetheart. I need you to use your words.”

“Want you in me,” you rush out in a breath. 

“Fuck,” Steve mumbles, dropping his forehead to rest against yours. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, Steve. Please.”

“Who am I to say no to that?” He presses a kiss to the tip of your nose before getting up and rummaging through his suitcase. There’s a condom wrapped in its shiny foil in Steve’s hand as he comes back to the bed.

“You always carry those on you or were you expecting this to happen?” you tease. 

“I was hopeful,” he admits with a shrug. “Knew I wanted it to happen. Was praying you did too.”

“Of course I did.” You reach up and tangle your fingers in his hair again. “I should warn you that I don’t have a lot of experience, though.”

“Me neither,” Steve admits. “But fuck, I want to learn your body.”

You pull him back down against your lips, and your hands slide from his hair all the way down to his belt. Tongues tangling, you nimbly unfasten the silver buckle and move on to the button of his jeans. Steve’s hands come to slide up your stomach, gliding underneath the material of your shirt. His thumbs trace the skin just below your breasts and it makes your hands stutter over his zipper. 

Steve kicks his jeans off his legs before helping you yank your shirt over your head. His mouth instantly attaches to your neck, biting and sucking and trying to find the most sensitive spot to drive you wild. Fingers grasping at his shirt, you tug it up as high as you can before Steve breaks the contact with your skin just to get it off. He goes right back to his work though, making sure you’re going to have the best hickey he’s ever given. Your jeans are next to come off, both of you working in tandem to rid the denim from your body. Now you’re left in only your bra and panties, Steve in his boxers. 

Tangling your fingers in his irresistible soft brown tresses once again, you wrap your legs around Steve’s and pull his hips down to press against yours. Both of you moan as his clothed cock brushes over your panty-clad core.

“Eager, huh?” Steve pants out against your neck. 

“You have no idea,” you sigh out, letting your eyes slip closed.

“Think I do,” Steve says between swiping his tongue repeatedly over your pulse point. “Wanted you since I first heard your voice. Sounded so fucking hot.”

He rocks his hips against yours, wetness pooling between your legs. The soft whimpers you let out only egg him on.

“Then I saw a picture of you on your Instagram,” Steve says. “Fuck, made me so hard.”

“D-Did you touch yourself to it?” Even to your own ears, your voice sounds wholly wrecked.

“Touched myself every time I opened your Instagram, baby.” His kisses trail up to behind your ear and an involuntary shiver runs down your body. “Thinking about getting you in this position. Getting you all worked up and panting beneath me. Making you beg me to touch you.”

“Fuck, please touch me,” you cry out. Steve smirks against your skin and trails his hand down to the waistband of your panties. 

“I’d rip these if they weren’t so sexy,” he says, finger dipping just inside the black lace. “But maybe I’ll just take them home with me instead.”

Steve sits up and you whine as his body warmth and weight is taken away. He quickly slips your panties off though, and the coolness hitting your wet center has you shifting your hips. When you look up at him, Steve’s eyes are almost entirely black, that beautiful brown totally consumed. His gaze is hungry, and you take advantage of his gaze to slowly strip yourself of your bra. You notice the catch in his breath as you toss the matching black lace garment off the side of the bed. Fully naked below him, he scans his eyes up and down your body, taking in every little detail of your bare skin. It’s a bit scary, being so vulnerable with him, but Steve’s never made you feel anything less than special. 

“Jesus, you’re perfect,” Steve says quietly. He quickly sheds himself of his boxers, leaving your mouth watering as you eye his impressive cock. Even though you don’t have a ton of experience with sex, you’re still confident in saying Steve is big. His cheeks turn a pale shade of pink as you take the entirety of his beauty in and when your eyes come back up to his, he flops down next to you, making you giggle. He shoots you a devastating smile as his large hands reach out and pull your body on top of his. 

“Can I put my mouth on you, baby?” you ask Steve softly. He lets out a guttural groan from the back of his throat and his eyes squeeze closed. You feel his cock twitch against your thigh, precum pooling between your skin and his. 

“Shit, I want that so bad,” he rasps. “But there’s no way I’d last, and I want to be in you.”

“I want you in me, too,” you say in between kisses to his throat. “I’ll just have to suck you off later.”

Steve lets out a breathy laugh as his hand blindly reaches for the condom next to you on the bed.

“You keep talking like that and I won’t last long either.”

Pushing yourself up to sit on his thighs, you pluck the condom from his hands and rip open the wrapper. Eyes focused on the small foil package, you don’t notice Steve’s hand slipping down until his fingers are gliding through your folds. A gasp escapes you and you drop the condom on Steve’s chest, making him smirk in self-satisfaction. His middle finger brushes over your clit and your hips buck forward.

“Feel good, baby?” Steve coos. “Fuck, you’re so wet. All for me?”

“Yes, Steve,” you let out in a breathy moan. “Had me wet for you all day.”

“Only fair since I’ve been half hard all day,” Steve muses. “And when you beat Harlan this afternoon? God, I wanted to fuck you right then and there.” 

Unable to form words, you just nod as a whine leaves you. Fingers scramble along Steve’s skin until you find the condom again. It’s hard to concentrate slipping it on Steve’s cock as his hand keeps sliding from your clit to your fluttering hole.

Steve’s dick twitches as you roll the condom on, and he removes his hand from between your legs. You want to whine at the loss, but you lift yourself up to line him up with your entrance. The head catches against your hole and you feel your abdominal muscles tighten in pleasure. Moving slowly, you start to lower yourself, his length stretching you in a way you’ve never experienced before. Your eyes shut as the sting quickly switches to pleasure, your walls adjusting to fit his size.

“Fuck,” Steve groans out, eyes rolling back in his head.

An exhale leaves your lungs as you finally take him in up to the hilt. Fully seated on him, you need to still yourself to let your body accommodate the welcome intrusion. 

“Steve, you’re so big,” you whine. His cock twitches inside of you at your words and it makes you bite down on your bottom lip.

“You feel like heaven, baby,” Steve says. His breathing is labored and his hands grip at your hips tightly, anchoring himself. “So warm and tight for me. Fuck, so wet too. Can feel you dripping on my balls.”

“Make me feel so full. S’so good.”

Your hips begin to rock against Steve, planting your hands on his chest to steady yourself. It’s obvious Steve is holding back, lip caught between his teeth and his eyes screwed shut. His thumbs are digging so hard into your hip bones that you know you’re going to have two small black and blue marks tomorrow. 

When you moan out a string of Steve’s name over and over, he can’t keep his composure anymore and fucks his hips up into you. You let out a whimper as he reaches impossibly deep inside of you.

“Shit, s-sorry,” Steve says.

“No, don’t be,” you answer. “W-Want you to feel good. Want you to do what you want.”

Steve snakes an arm around your waist and uses his other arm to push himself up, his back smacking against the headboard. Now you’re seated more comfortably in his lap and your clit has a better angle to rub against his pubic bone. 

“Fuck, Steve.” You speed up your hips, trying to get him to rock up into you. His hand sneaks up to grab at your breast, thumb flicking over your nipple as you drop your head back in ecstasy. “Harder.”

The restraint Steve was barely holding on to snaps and his hips buck up against yours, driving his cock deeper and faster inside of you. Muscles in your lower body tightening, you drop your head forward to rest on Steve’s shoulder.

“Close, baby,” you speak against his skin.

“Me too – fuck – me too.” 

As his hips piston into you, you grind yourself down harder, letting your clit rub deliciously against his body. You feel yourself teetering towards the edge and the clenching of your walls around him has Steve seeing stars.

Screaming out Steve’s name, your vision fills with white as you come hard all over his cock. The prettiest whines leave Steve’s mouth as he orgasms right along with you, twitching inside of you as he fills the condom. 

Both of you need a moment to catch your breath, and you lift your head from his shoulder to meet his eyes. Steve’s lips quirk up in a satisfied smile and the pair of you let out a soft laugh at the same time.

“That was…holy shit, that was amazing,” Steve says.

“So fucking good,” you agree. 

His hand cups your face and he brings you in for a tender kiss on the lips, the softness making you melt after your earth shattering orgasm. You feel in complete bliss as you lean against Steve’s chest, letting him wrap you up in his arms. He nuzzles his nose against yours and you giggle at the tickle you feel as his eyelashes brush over your cheek.

“You really gonna take my panties home with you?” you ask.

“If that’s okay with you,” he says with a peck to your lips.

“As long as I get to keep something of yours.” 

“I’d offer you a hoodie, but I doubt you’d ever wear it in this sauna of a state,” he says, making you laugh.

“How about a t-shirt I can sleep in?” you offer.

“Perfect.” 

You ease yourself off of Steve’s lap, both of you hissing as he slips out of you. He pulls off the condom, ties it up, and gets up to toss it in the trash. Eyes tracking him as he moves around the hotel room, you lay back on the bed and admire how the thin sheen of sweat is making him glow in the dim lamplight. When he looks back to you, you raise your arms to show him that you want him to come back to you for cuddles. 

“Two seconds,” Steve says, slipping into the bathroom. The fact that he takes longer than that makes you pout, arms dropping back down to the bed. He steps back into the room carrying a washcloth and wearing the cutest pair of glasses you’ve ever seen.

“Well, hello,” you say in a flirty tone as he comes over to you. He smiles as he places the warm cloth at the apex of your thigh.

“I think I squeezed my eyes shut too tight before,” he explains with a shrug as he gently cleans you up. “Moved my contact and it was bugging me.”

“They’re hot.” He rolls his eyes at your words, and you frown. “I’m not teasing. I mean it.”

Steve stops his movements, looking up at you and raising his eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Really,” you assure him. A shy smile comes to his lips as he tosses the used cloth towards the bathroom.

“When we go for round two, want me to wear them as I eat that pretty pussy out?”

His words have heat shooting straight down to your core, said pussy already ready for him again. 

“As long as you wear them while I blow you.”

“Fuck, I’m so glad I came to see you.”

[imfinereallyy]

🧡Oh hey there!🧡

Welcome to ✨my blog✨. I'm Rae and I'm just trying my best here. My main topic here is Steddie and Stranger Things all around. I have completely spiraled and hyper fixated on it since Volume 1, and it's been consuming my brain ever since. This post is mainly to say hi!, let you know a few things and give you access to my main posts.

Let this be known as a safe space (especially for the LGBTQ+ community) and I will not tolerate hate. This is a place for kindness and creativity.

I love making friends so feel free to message me, or send me prompts! 🥰

Some of my writing does involve mature themes, so keep that in mind while scrolling. I am 24, and despite feeling like I'm stuck at 16 some days, I am an adult. So please proceed with caution when necessary. I will try my best to properly tag things.

If you want to check out my work on ao3, which has a mix of stuff from tumblr and new stuff, you can click here.

Here is the masterlist of my fics so far! *updated 7/26/23 completely, in process of update 4/26/24

Series:

Father Figures (completed and available on ao3)

pt. 1

pt. 2

I wonder if you look both ways (When you cross my mind) 🐝･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･✦ʚɞ (ongoing)

pt. 1

pt. 2

pt. 3

pt. 4

Tattooed Steve (ongoing)

pt. 1

pt. 2

The Long Con (ongoing) (available on ao3)

pt. 1

pt. 2

Sibling Adventures of El and Steve (ongoing)

(still steddie heavy, and can be read stand-alone, not majorly connected)

Dad's going to be angry

Sleep Demon

Quality Time

more el and steve

✧˖°.AO3 FICS✧˖°.

Craved Oblivion Series (Hunger Games AU) *ongoing*

A Martyr's Lullaby *completed*

tbd

tbd

Better Late than Never (Just Don't Make Me Wait Forever) 

But You'll Have This Place to Call Home, Always 

Father Figures 

The Long Con *ongoing*

Huggin' and a-kissin', dancin' and a-lovin'

One Shots:

Say "I love you" before you go

Father's Day

Good Morning

Is This Okay?

First Kiss

“You Hurt Me” (real title pending)

Take the Crisis Back

Emergency Kiss

Deja Vu

Drugs are Kicking in

Eavesdropping

Placeholders

Celebrate Softly

After the Beep

Track 7

Birthday Parties and Secret Signals

(these are more popular ones/or really recent ones I have too many to list! There are plenty more in my blog if you’re curious. Most should be tagged with #mywriting or #writingprompts)

I also have plenty of writing prompts, as my brain runs a mile a minute, and I adore it when people feel inspired by my writing so feel free to explore.

I hope you enjoy! Get comfy and stay awhile :)

Things I would like to note: Homophobia, Transphobia, Sexism, Racism, etc. are absolutely not tolerated here. As stated earlier the idea is to create a safe space for everyone. If I or anyone that interacts with my blog upsets you, please don't feel shy to message me. My asks (with anon) and messages are open, even if it's just to chat (also keep in mind once again I am an adult). Don't bully the children either, they are just trying their best. Please and thank you. 💖

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[peaches2217]

I’ve sent an anon similar to this before but I want to say it again. Please do not consider surgery you don’t actually want or need. If you think you will regret it, do not make the choice to do it in the first place. You do not need to permanently alter your body in a way that you don’t actually want or need just to satisfy people who will never treat you properly anyway. People telling you that you don’t belong in a community because of the way you identify and present are bigoted, plain and simple. If you wouldn’t stop testosterone or binding or wearing cologne or anything else you do that affirms your gender to appease transphobes, don’t get top surgery to appease transphobes either. Nobody is entitled to tell you how to transition. You feel the way you feel, and that is not a crime. It will never be wrong. You will never be wrong for being you. You did not choose to feel dysphoria the way you do. You deserve to have a body that feels like your own, comfortable and right. If top surgery is not a part of that process that is okay.

From one transmasc to another, you are wonderful and valid and I’m so sorry people have told you otherwise.

I know you’re right, and this feels so affirming and reassuring to read… but I still worry. I’ve gone down rabbit holes and discovered that a concerning number of people believe that people taking T who don’t intend to fully transition medically as a man or completely alter their appearance in general, as a man or an enby, are hogging resources from “people who actually need it,” so now I’ve got that guilt hanging over my head too. T has been lifechanging for me, and I’m only three and a half months in! But if I’m happy to roll with natural changes but don’t intend to seek out surgery for the things T CAN’T change, just how worthy am I? Y’know?

That’s one thing I can say at least: if I were to get top surgery, I’d be taking that from someone who NEEDS it to live their lives in their truest forms. And it’s pretty damn selfish of me to wanna fit in by way of bodily change in the first place. The only resource I’m really worthy of to any extent is phallo, having such strong bottom dysphoria, but I’ve determined already that the cons would heavily outweigh the pros, so if I’m gonna turn down a surgery I might actually benefit from, I sure as hell don’t have the audacity to hog a spot for a surgery I’m not 100% sure on.

I dunno. I see post after post about how horrible and restrictive and painful binding is and how wonderful and freeing top surgery is, and I know by that alone that I’m doing this all wrong. I don’t think this would stress me out as much if not for the notion that I’m stealing resources from people who actually need and deserve them. It all boils down to fear of my own selfishness. I didn’t choose to experience dysphoria the way I do, but it’s still too different from what everyone around me feels, so even if I didn’t ask for it, that doesn’t entitle me to validation.

I promise I’m not brushing off your encouraging words. I’m trying to make sense of my own feelings on the matter. Thank you so much for your message, friend; it helps more than you can know. 🫂

[peonycats]

(might become a block of text as i write sorry) do you have any thoughts on how bengal's personification(s)...work ? i am bengali but it's always confused me how to go about it. was there only one bengal before the partition ? would west bengal and bangladesh have a personification only after it ? i feel weird making bengal (if there was one before what we have currently, which... there's gotta be right ??) "into" west bengal or bangladesh cuz then i feel as though there's a very weird and at least somewhat offensive connotation on which one's "more/truly bengali" to put it lightly, ya know ?? but i can't see either of them really being born in the contemporary era cuz bengal's history is so ancient and vast ?? it confuses me sm i know i should probably just ask other bengalis but the ones ik irl don't really have strong views on this and i don't know any bangladeshis i can realistically ask this to 😭😭😭 im sorry if this has become an incoherent block of text

HEAVY DISCLAIMER THAT I AM NOT BENGALI OR SOUTH ASIAN!!

Tbh, don't worry about sending in a big block of text, I think this is an scenario/question worth considering. Basically, there are a number of ways you can go about personifying Bengal/Bengali nations, and each of them have their own issue, each of which have their own pros and cons, if my understanding is correct-

There was one original Bengal personification that was Hindu, but around the time that Islam reached Bengal and Bengalis began to convert, another Bengal personification arose to specifically represent Muslim Bengalis.

There was one original Bengal personification that began as Hindu and eventually converted to Islam, going on to become the personification of Bangladesh. No other separate personification arose to represent West Bengal/Bengali Hindus because this original personification still represents them.

There was one original Bengal personification that began as Hindu and eventually converted to Islam, going on to become the personification of Bangladesh. Meanwhile, another Bengal personification later arose to represent West Bengal/Bengali Hindus around the time of British imperialism and/or the Partition.

APPROACH 1

Pros + Reflects the current cultural division between Indian Bengalis and Bangladeshis

Cons - Lowkey justifies the Partition of the subcontinent by implying there were already personifications split on religious lines predating British colonialism

APPROACH 2

Pros + Reaffirms the artificiality of the Partition by there only being one Bengal personification representing all Bengalis regardless of religion

Cons - Does not accurately reflect the irl cultural divide between Indian Bengalis and Bangladeshis and the difference in how they view themselves

APPROACH 3

Pros + Reaffirms the artificiality of the Partition by there only being one original Bengal personification representing all Bengalis regardless of religion

Cons - By making the personification of West Bengal so comparatively young, this both inaccurately reflects the age of the Hindu Bengali community vs the Muslim Bengali community, as well as have subtle implications about which community is more "authentic and legitimate" based on this difference in age

Now, choosing one of these approaches will definitely depend a lot on what exactly you're personifying and the historical-geopolitical context at hand, as well as what messages you're not afraid to convey. For example, I personify Afghanistan as representing both Pashtuns in Afghanistan and Pakistan from talking to actual Pashtuns and how they view the border between them, as well as communicating the artificiality of the border. I think it's useful to recognize that the entire process of personifying a nation is basically mapping things like, a nation's ethnogenesis, rise to power, golden age, and eventual decline and destruction to human life events, is always imperfect and sometimes, the allegory falls apart; the Partition is probably one of the best examples of this.

As for how I would go about personifying Bengal? I would probably for a variation of Approach 1, where instead of there being multiple Bengali personifications split on the basis of religion, there would be multiple Bengali personifications split on the basis of regional and cultural differences. (Correct me if I'm wrong, as I am an outsider to this, but there are sub-groups and regional differences in language and culture even within Bengal, right?) Because of there being multiple Bengali personifications, some of them would be Muslim, some of them would be Hindu, and by the time of Partition, the personifications representing the lands of modern day Bangladesh and/or Muslim Bengali communities would move to join/represent the nation of Bangladesh while those representing Hindu Bengali communities would join India. This approach still has its issues, and may still validate/justify the Partition in the eyes of some people, but I go for it because it fulfill my most important conditions-

Doesn't make any of the Bengal personifications outrageously young

The Bengal personifications are personified based on regional and cultural divides that predate colonialism and imperialism

Them having to consciously choose sides post-independence and having to separate from one another accurately reflects the artificiality of the Partition and how it split up communities.

That's just my take, ofc, as a non Bengali and as someone who hasn't done as much research into the region as I'd like to, feel free to disagree and choose whatever approach feels most accurate according to you and your research!!

[detailtilted]

Somebody saaaave me! (I need opinions about colors.)

I'm working on the Comic-Con 2008 enhanced edition videos. This one has presented some new sorts of challenges. One challenge is that a lot of the videos I'm working with have wonky (I think) colors.

The video editing software I'm using has some color correction capabilities, but I'm really bad with colors. I know we have some amazing artists here, and I think pretty much anyone, artist or not, will have better judgment on this than I do. I once had to Google what colors went with gray because I'd bought some gray jeans and then after I brought them home I was convinced nothing in my closet went with them. Yes, gray.

I've made some attempts to improve the video colors, but I don't have a clue what I'm doing so it's mostly trial and error. I've also been looking at them for so long that I'm not sure if I've made them better or worse. I'm pretty sure the first set is at least a little better, but I'm not sure if it's only better in that it will make people only want to claw out one eye instead of both. I don't want anyone to claw any eyes out watching my videos!

Below are the examples I'm currently working with, including my settings in case that means anything to anyone. Just don't laugh too hard if my settings are idiotic! I'd be happy for any suggestions or opinions, good or bad, regardless of whether you think you're good with colors or not. However you want to communicate is fine, including private messages if you prefer that.

Set #1

This set of videos will be the main set people see, so it's especially important to me that this one not look horrible. It has the most stable and consistent focus on Jared and Jensen and there's coverage for most of the event.

In addition to color issues, I adjusted the aspect ratio because the original video was squished. I noticed it in their faces first, but you can also tell pretty clearly when you compare the Comic-Con logos in the background with other video sets. This is the one where I feel pretty sure I made it better -- I'm just not sure if it's better enough.

Example video link.

Set #2

This set of videos will never be the main full-screen video, but it will be my first choice for the talking head bubbles (not sure that's the right term, I'll explain at the end of this post) for the other guests when possible. It has the most stable coverage when focusing on the other guests. It covers less than 30% of the panel though.

I truly don't know if I've made this one better or worse. My initial reaction of the original was that it was way too green, but I've tweaked this one so much and nothing looks quite right to me. I think the tablecloth is supposed to be black, but tweaking the colors enough to make it more black makes the rest of it look worse to me. Similarly, I think their faces might be a little too pale, but adding in a little more red doesn't seem to affect their faces, it just makes the other parts look worse to me. The main pieces of this video that people will see is just the heads. (The example at the bottom of this post uses this video for Eric's head.)

Example video link.

Set #3

This set of videos will only be the main full-screen video for very short segments of time, to cover gaps in set #1. It will mostly be used for talking head bubbles. This set covers most of the event, but it has much less coverage of Jared and Jensen and it's very jittery.

I actually thought the colors on this one looked very good though, so I didn't tweak them at all. I just upscaled the videos as normal and left it alone. Every time I look at this video, it makes me doubt the above changes even more because the colors in those really don't look like this one and I haven't been able to get them anywhere close.

Example video link.

"Talking Head Bubbles"

Here's an example of what I mean by that. I'm trying to create a best-of-both worlds scenario where we can feast our eyes on Jared and Jensen the whole time, but also still see who's talking sometimes when one of the videos had coverage of it. It's taking quite a bit of effort to make that watchable -- the main video (Set #1) bobs around randomly, and the insert videos (Sets 2 and 3) bob around randomly in different directions, so it's been quite a challenge to make it look stable enough that people won't think I'm trying to hypnotize them with Eric's head or something as it swings back and forth like a pendulum! 🤣

[troius]

I am genuinely asking this cause this is a plot point I've been stuck on: how would you write Ichigo getting his powers back? The Shinigami ex Machina twist felt like bland fan service but I don't know how else it should go.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I don't really think it's too hard! It's kinda sad, because all the heavy lifting has actually already been done-- we have four whole volumes of set-up. We've established:

Ichigo was depressed because he was powerless. This provided an in for a gang of con artists to sucker him in with the promise of making him feel better about himself. The lesson he has to learn here is his own self-worth absent his powers (which thematically will result in him getting his powers back).

Ichigo and his friends completely fail to communicate with each other throughout the arc, thinking that keeping things secret will keep their friends safe, only for it all to blow up in their face. The conclusion therefore must also involve these idiots finally talking to each other.

How I, were I Kubo's editor and yet completely immune to the commercial pressures of Shonen Jump, would do this after the cut:

We're going to start our divergence when Ginjo and Ichigo arrive at Tsukishima's mansion, with maybe a slight change to establish this thing earlier in the story because it sort of came out of nowhere. But rather than bring in Ichigo's nonpowered friends and family for a second round of trauma, I'd suggest keeping it tight on Ichigo's desire to kill Tsukishima. This is what he thinks will solve his problem. He fights his way shockingly easily through the other members of Xcution (it's almost like they're not really trying...) before getting to Tsukishima.

And naturally, Orihime and Chad intervene. But instead of being strangely stoic about it all, they're acting like you would expect people to act if one of their best friends was trying to kill the other. Orihime is full-on crying as she heals and shields Tsukishima. Chad is screaming to Ichigo about how this isn't what Ichigo used to take pride in. And most importantly, they're actually trying to restrain him and stop the fight instead of just passively protecting Tsukishima when attacks happen. As the fight spills outside, Ichigo can't win the fight without hurting them.

And so finally, finally, Ichigo resorts to dialogue. He tries to talk them out of it. And Chad and Orihime, who still have all of their memories of Ichigo even if Tsukishima is weirdly in some of them, listen. They're not going to harm him either. Ichigo, breaking down, apologizes for failing to protect them. Orihime and Chad tell him he doesn't need to apologize for anything, that they're fine. Even Ginjo and Xcution stop fighting each other. It's all very sweet. And that's when Uryu shows up and seemingly ruins everything.

He drops out of seemingly thin air with a massive licht regen that completely demolishes where Ginjo and Tsukishima are standing. Ichigo, Orihime, and Chad are astonished, verging on furious. But Uryu responds that those two are the ones who attacked him. The dust clears, and rather than being dead by Quincy powers, the two of them and the rest of Xcution get the drop on the Karakura kids. Uryu, Chad, and Orihime are all quickly taken down, and Ginjo takes Ichigo's fullbring.

Ginjo and Tsukishima do their villainous exposition. Ichigo has his full-on breakdown. But his friends are there too, and share in his pain. Uryu tells Ichigo that he's arrogant for assuming its his job to protect them. Chad points out that all their instincts to protect worked disastrously as they concealed the truth from one another. Orihime says that what matters here is that he, and everybody here, aren't hurt. Rukia calls him an idiot.

OH SHOOT, RUKIA'S HERE. She says that the four of them really made a mess of things, but that Isshin sent a message to her through Urahara that something was wrong. Ichigo says that she didn't think she cared, as she hasn't been in his life for 18 months. Renji (who is also here) points out to Ichigo that she is an immortal soul with a job, and that if he wanted to see them he should have asked! And then Rukia points out that it won't be a problem going forward, as Ichigo can see them now.

Because Ichigo has his powers back! No magic sword necessary-- we already established when he was training with Ginjo that his powers were coming back. Rukia gives the above spiel about how Ginjo couldn't steal them, and then informs him that she and Renji are taking him in. Xcution naturally does not take kindly to this. Our six hearts each pair off with a Fullbringer (Orihime did some healing during all this), and if people ask for it I'll do a second post about how I'd pair those fights off.

But I'll leave it at this for now. That's how I would thematically tie off the arc.