#connect four is gay now

[lupismaris]

Lmao okay okay white cishet social manager has now been added to the DEI Pride planning meetings which frankly is important to ensure shit is done right I’m attending as the multi-tool queer of the division and comms administrator/quartermaster who’s main role is holding the comms team accountable (my supervisors/head of comms words not mine) so my goal of making sure our Pride and LGBTQIA+ history month campaigns aren’t reductive capitalist rainbow washed nonsense is still a go

[torpublishinggroup]

Celebrate Pride with Tor Publishing Group!

Rakesfall by @adamantine

They met as children in the middle of the Sri Lankan civil war. Later, in a demon-haunted wood, an act of violence linked them and propelled their souls on a journey through the ages. As they reincarnate ever deeper into the future, a truth emerges: Some stories take more than one lifetime to tell.

Running Close to the Wind by @ariaste

In this queer pirate fantasy, Avra Helvaçi has accidentally stolen the single most expensive secret in the world. To avoid capture, he flees to the open sea, where only his on-again, off-again ex aka pirate Captain Teveri az-Ḥaffār can help him survive, profit, and become a legend.

Cuckoo by Gretchen Felker-Martin

Something evil is buried deep in the desert. It wants your body and wears your skin. Welcome to Camp Resolution, a queer conversion center where everyone leaves a different person. In 1995, seven queer teens were abandoned here by their parents, but survived. Sixteen years later, they’re scarred and broken, but back to face an evil that threatens the world. 

Kinning by Nisi Shawl

In this alternate history where barkcloth airships soar and former colonies claim freedom from imperialist tyrants, the identity of the island of Everfair still wavers. Victorious in the wake of the Great War, a new threat looms. Can Everfair continue to serve as a symbol of hope for anticolonial movements around the world, or will it fall to forces within and without? 

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Can one of the Queen’s private guard and the most powerful mage in existence leave their lives behind to settle down in their new bookshop that serves tea? This cozy fantasy is steeped in sapphic romance and nestled on the edge of dragon country. 

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Once there were four worlds, nestled like pages in a book, each pulsing with fantastical power and connected by a single city: London. After a desperate attempt to prevent corruption and ruin in the four Londons, there are only three. Now the worlds are going to collide anew—brought to a dangerous precipice by the discoveries of three remarkable magicians.

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The Archive Undying by @emcandon

This is a story about misplaced faith, complicated love, so much self-loathing, and yeah—giant robots. Plugged into his AI god when its apocalyptic corruption renders him unfortunately immortal, sad gay disaster Sunai takes a die-again-or-die-trying approach to things. Unending life’s tough when intimacy is somehow scarier even than either of the warring police states set on turning you into a weapon or the rogue undead mecha-fragment of your old god that wants to eat you. 

Now available in paperback!

The Bell in the Fog by Lev AC Rosen

A dazzling historical mystery that dives into the shadowy, closeted world of the Navy, emerging in the gay bars of the city. It’s a whirlpool of missing people, violent strangers, and scandalous photos in 1952 San Francisco. 

Now available in paperback!

Celebrate Pride with more titles from Tor Publishing Group here!

[estrellami-1]

Ok so I saw a post about Steve as a teacher letting his kids control his Spotify which means his Wrapped is All Over The Place but the top artist is Corroded Coffin and Steve finds out from the thank-you video that Eddie is hot. I see it, I love it, it’s inspired.

I’m thinking something… a little different.

“Alright, class!” Steve calls. “Marcus, it’s your turn to choose the music, right?”

“Actually, Mr. H?” Amber pipes up. “Spotify Wrapped came out today!”

Steve blinks. “Spotify… what?”

Marcus is nodding. “Spotify Wrapped! It tallies up what you’ve listened to and gives you stats and stuff. It’s cool!”

“Ah,” Steve says, nodding, squinting at his computer. “And I see that… how?”

There’s a cacophony of noise until Steve holds up a hand. Everyone quiets, and Becky holds her hand up. He nods at her. “It’s at the top,” she says softly. “Where your recently played is.”

He smiles at her. “Thank you, Becky.” He navigates to it, clicking on it and letting the graphic play.

Their genre, apparently, is soft grass indie metal. He’s entirely sure that’s made up. Their top artist, making up sixty-four percent of the music they listened to, is Corroded Coffin.

There’s a video; a little thank-you the band put together. It starts with Eddie up front, as the lead singer. Gareth, Jeff, and Freak are slightly behind him, grinning at the camera. Steve recognizes the background as Jeff’s living room. “Hi!” Eddie starts. “Thanks so much for listening to our music this year.”

“We couldn’t do what we do without you,” Gareth adds on.

“And everything we do is for you!” Jeff says.

“It’s totally metal of you to listen to our music, and we appreciate it!” Freak finishes. They all wave, and the camera cuts off.

Steve is��� gobsmacked. He loves his husband, truly, but he looks so uncomfortable, and the way he’s speaking is weirdly stilted. He was not made to stand still.

He shakes his head, knowing he’s about to make Eddie’s year, and blow these kids’ minds.

Eddie had always been more vocal than Steve about coming out, saying fuck it to the consequences. Maybe being gay was accepted in the metal community, but Steve had been too new in his current job to even think about the jeopardy this could put his career in.

But honestly. That video was terrible, and his kids deserve better.

He sighs, raises a hand to get the class’s attention. “I know that was cool,” he chuckles. “But if you can be quiet and patient, I could get you something even cooler.”

“Cooler than a video from Corroded Coffin?” Nick asks.

Steve tilts his head. “Cooler than that video, at least.”

Nick doesn’t look convinced. “Are you sure?”

Steve just smiles. “How about we find out?” He puts a finger to his lips and FaceTimes Eddie.

He makes sure his volume is low, enough so that he even has trouble hearing when Eddie picks up.

“Baby!” Eddie exclaims, then clocks the background and is instantly worried. “Wait, you’re still at work. Are you okay? Is everything okay? Did you hit your head again? Do I need to come get you?”

“Christ, you’re dramatic,” Steve mutters, grinning wide. “I’m fine. I’m with my class, and we just finished looking at our Spotify Wrapped. Guess who our number one artist for the year was.”

Eddie’s eyes sparkle. He grins. Steve nods. “Corroded Coffin,” he confirms, then sighs. “I have to say, though, I was a little disappointed by the video.”

Eddie groans, throwing his head back. Steve gets a great view up his husband’s nose. “I know! I know, it sucked, but the guys were happy with it and it was, like, our eighth go, and-”

“I get it,” Steve promises. “But how would you like to one-up it?”

It takes Eddie a second, but his eyes gleam. “Are you sure? Your career-”

“Is stable enough now,” Steve finishes. “I’m sure. If you are.”

“Fuck,” Eddie mouths, conscientious of Steve’s class. “I love you.”

Steve smiles, blows a kiss to the camera. He gets a smattering of awws from some of his female students.

He figures out how to connect his phone to his computer to the screen, pushes the volume button up, and nods. “Go, Eds.”

Eddie grins and waves at the screen. “Hi, Mr. Harrington’s class! I’ve heard so much about you guys. It’s totally metal that you’re listening to our music—that’s something your teacher neglected to tell me.” He grins at the screen, a private thing for Steve, who dutifully rolls his eyes.

“I hear your music every day, Eds, forgive me if I don’t think anything of it when I hear it here and at home.”

“Mr. H,” Nathan asks in a pseudo-whisper, “how the hell do you know Eddie Munson?”

Eddie bursts out in a laugh. “You must be Nathan,” he says.

Nathan goes white, then pink. “H-hi, Mr. Munson, sir.”

“I think you should be their teacher,” Steve says, grinning first at Eddie, then his class. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard Nathan say sir before.”

Everyone laughs—including Nathan—and Eleanor raises her hand. “How do you know him?”

Steve takes a breath, glances at his phone. Eddie’s smiling patiently at him, and Steve’s own smile grows as he answers her. “I’m his husband,” he tells her.

“Ten years and counting!” Eddie crows. “Though we’ve known each other for… twenty… something.”

Steve chuckles. “Twenty-three, Eds. If you count high school, which I don’t.”

“But I do,” Eddie nods. “Twenty-three years. And counting.”

Steve chuckles again. “And counting,” he agrees.

As his room explodes into noise, he looks back at his phone to find Eddie already looking at him.

That’s the way it goes, he thinks. Eddie saw him the whole time. It took Steve a while to catch up, but now that he has, he’s never been happier.

Twenty-three years and counting, indeed.

[steviewashere]

Thinking about a fic idea right now where Steve comes out (maybe with a little Steddie...maybe; might be best to start them pre-relationship in this). Walk with me here.

Steve Harrington who has always been a huge Wham! fan. And then eventually a huge George Michael fan. He's got all their albums. Collects magazines with interviews in them (y'know, if there's a U.S. release). So, he's pretty much up to date with all news, music info; that kind of thing. He's always on the money about when interviews are.

George Michael who comes out publicly in 1998 after his arrest. Which, you can watch the clip from the interview here. He's thirty-four at the time, had been private about his sexuality and romantic life up until then.

Steve who's freshly in his thirties.

He's thirty-one. He's had some thoughts in regards to his sexuality for years now. Since Robin came out to him in 1985, he's thought about little things. The way certain guys walked that caught his attention, maybe the plushness of their lips, how they styled their hair. She's introduced him to queer culture at the time—pride parades & protests, some lingo, the handkerchief code, etc. So, he's well aware of a lot of things before the CNN interview airs. He hasn't made any hard connections between his sexuality and the thoughts in his head; maybe he's had a few, soft, questioning moments like: Am I gay? Am I bisexual? Is this what I really think or am I searching for something I don't actually want? Am I just being too observant?

(Okay, thinking about pre-Steddie now. And a lot of platonic soulmates Stobin. Also, I totally (accidentally) half-wrote a fic. Stay with me here.)

Eddie's been a part of Steve's life since 1986. Somehow he survives (don't ask me the fine details, I don't know). And Steve tries his hand at being Eddie's friend because he kind of—no, really—wants a guy friend who's around his age. Cue their shenanigans: the chaos they cause together, the pranks they pull on their other friends, the shit Eddie makes Steve get into (drag racing (cars), stealing scrap from the junkyard, throwing rocks over the quarry to guess the impact they made, other little town shit). Eddie who learns that Steve's a true ally to Robin, so he comes out to Steve, too. They all form a very great, deep bond of solidarity. Become roommates outside of Hawkins, somewhere a little more progressive. They protect each other. Listen to each other.

Cue the day in 1998 when the CNN interview is being aired live, unseen up until then. Steve's already ready to watch, having taken up the middle cushion on the couch. Robin's on his left, criss-cross and making a set of beaded bracelets for the three of them. Eddie's on Steve's right, uncapping a couple bottles of beer to pass over. And they're watching with Steve because Steve likes George Michael and, well, they like Steve and his interests. So they're all there when George Michael comes out. They're all there when the words are said live.

Robin and Eddie are wide-eyed, then laughing something a bit triumphant, high-fiving over Steve's head, maybe chanting something: "One of us! One of us!" Maybe becoming huge George Michael fans as they speak. But, Steve's silent. He's sitting on the edge of his cushion, palms down on his thighs, staring off into nothing. All the celebration stops as the interview continues, words being missed. And Robin and Eddie share an odd glance, a questioning one. Until, finally, Robin asks, "Steve-O? You OD over there?"

Steve blinks back into existence. Mutters, "Did George Michael just come out on live TV?" Eddie answers him truthfully, voice a bit soft and concerned. Steve licks his lips, doesn't move his eyes from his socked feet. "...He knew for a little while," he comments. "Right? He knew for a while."

"Sure, Steve," Eddie answers again. "He probably knew about himself for a long time. Probably...Honestly, probably while he was still in Wham."

Maybe Steve nods at that. Maybe he just stays kind of stoic, thinking too hard. "He's thirty-four," Steve points out.

"That he is," Robin answers this time. "Thirty-four and proudly out."

Steve hums some sort of acknowledgement and then goes back to watching the TV, moment drifting away. He sort of watches in a daze. Up until he turns in for the night. Well after Robin has slumped over on the couch and Eddie's gone to bed earlier—because he has work, or so Eddie's said. And Steve maybe sits in his bedroom, up at his headboard, looking down at his albums. At his Wham! and George Michael albums. Turning the tapes over in his hands, reading the track lists, maybe tracing the edges of the cases with his thumbs. Thinking about how George had said he was telling his life story, even through some of his earlier solo work. He's thinking about how successful George Michael has been. And then he thinks about how George Michael came out later in his life. In his thirties, not in his twenties, not in his teens. Sure, yes, it was definitely more negatively criticized to do so, but it means something to Steve. To be thirty-four and freshly out. And he thinks, too, about being thirty-one and things clicking into shiny clarity—he's into guys, too. He's into women, but he's into guys. That word, "bisexual" looking like the final jigsaw piece. To be thirty-one and proudly out, too.

And he's comforted in that thought, as he drifts off to sleep.

And when he wakes up in the morning, he bustles around Eddie and Robin in the kitchen. They make a shared breakfast of scrambled eggs and sausage and toast with jam. They sit at the dining table, forks against plates, shooting the shit back and forth.

Steve cuts a slice of sausage, puts it in his mouth, eats as usual. And just as the conversation is beginning to drift again, he finally speaks what's on his mind. "I'm bisexual," he's able to proudly state.

Maybe Eddie and Robin cheer, too for that. They ask him for his taste in guys. Maybe they tease him a little. Maybe Eddie realizes he fits the bill a little; maybe he waits a little bit before taking a shot, but he still does eventually.

And right before they head off for their respective, regular lives outside of the comfortable space of their apartment, Robin knocks their shoulders together. "Proud of you," she states. "Thirty-one and proudly out. How does it feel?"

They're in the kitchen, washing and drying the dishes because Eddie left for work already with a promise to bring home pizza for dinner. They're in the kitchen, the lights a little fluorescent like the Starcourt bathroom. They're in the kitchen, in each other's orbits, two friends who've seen it all and will continue to see the world together.

"It feels...I feel good. Excited."

Robin smiles at him, something soft and understanding. And as his focus goes back to the plate he's about to hand off, she snorts. "So, Eddie, huh?" And he scoffs, rolling his eyes. She just laughs to herself. Then, when she's calmed a little bit, she states, "He kind of looks like Rowlf. You and I have a thing for Muppets, Stevie. Muppets."

And after their laughter dies down and they live out the rest of the day, Steve thinks about how he can send a letter of thanks to George Michael. And maybe he cherishes those albums a little closer. And he is confident in himself for the first time in a while, all because the representation he didn't know he was seeking, is finally right in his face.

Sorry that got long. But I'm just thinking about Steve who comes out later in his life. Maybe he couldn't make those connections because he didn't have the safe atmosphere to do so; feared the worst if his parents ever realized he didn't care too much about women sometimes, if his eyes drifted to men a little too much, fearing that they'd catch his contemplation. Maybe he found his safe space through Robin and Eddie, but needed a little more of a push and he just didn't find it yet. Up until now.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "using" a cucumber and putting it back in the fridge?

(🥒👌 to find later)

Please, I know it sounds nuts but hear me out. I feel awful and I need to know just how bad this is. Also, I intentionally left as much as possible vague as I am a minor and I do not want this to get removed for being too explicit. But the story will not make sense if I don't include certain things, please understand.

So I (16M) grew up in and currently still live in the bible belt, with extremely conservative evangelical parents. As a taste of what it's like, we have church 3 times a week, and church camp every summer. We are only allowed to access Netflix through a stupid content filter app and we can only use a restricted smart phone that is regularly checked at random by our parents. We get an hour and a half of computer usage every other day, and the internet on the computer is heavily filtered also. The only reason I have access to Tumblr and am able to post this now is because my best friend's older brother gave me his old android for my birthday a few years ago. His family is much more open minded, and I'm very close with them. I also think they have always felt a little bad for me with my family being the way they are.

I'm also gay. Obviously, my family does not know, and I intend to keep it that way. I won't go too deep into it, but it will suffice to say I struggled a lot when I was younger over this. The good thing is that in the last few years, I've been able to accept myself more and come to terms with what my own feelings about religion and faith really are. I came out to my best friend and his brother a little over a year ago, and they've been very supportive. I have yet to tell any of my other friends.

Recently, I've been trying out alcohol since my friends found a hookup. Something I have discovered is that I tend to get lewd feelings when I drink, which has nearly caused a few embarrassing moments around friends. Coincidentally, I have also been experimenting with... certain things. Being a minor, I obviously can't enter any of the adult stores around me, nor would I feel comfortable asking any of my friends to drive me there if I could. I also can't order anything online because my bank account is connected to my parents, and I don't have a shipping address I'm comfortable using for those items either. So instead, I use household objects that belong to me and can be sanitized easily. You might see where this is going.

Yesterday evening, I came home from best friend's house with a full bottle of wine in my backpack. We and a few other friends had already been sipping on a few beers that afternoon, and I still felt a little buzzed. After my family went to sleep, despite already having a little alcohol in my system, I proceeded to get wasted on this bottle of wine in my room. I don't have the clearest memory of all of this, but at some point, I got hungry and lewd-feeling. Went into the kitchen and, through some kind of thought process I can only imagine now, came back into my room with a cucumber. From the title of the post, you can hazard a guess as to what happened to this cucumber. Once I was done, I drukedly and quickly washed it in the bathroom sink and threw it back into the fridge. I went to sleep.

I started freaking out as soon as I woke up this morning. There were four cucumbers in the fridge, I was pretty positive at least two were going to be used for dinner tonight, and I had no idea which cucumber I did the deed with. To make matters worse, my mom was inviting the pastor of our church and his family over for dinner. I have practically no money currently, no license or vehicle, and no friends with vehicles free to pick up new cucumbers for me (and no reasonable explanation as to why I needed them to spot me for four cucumbers specifically). I also have no believable reason to give for why we shouldn't have cucumbers added in the salad mix. My mom knows I love them, and they haven't gone bad. Can't say I ate them because who the hell eats four raw cucumbers? And she'll interrogate both my brother and I until she gets a satisfying answer if I just throw them out. I didn't know what the hell to do about this and I was close to having a panic attack, so... I took a nap.

Evening came. Guests came over, dinner happened. We had porkchops with macaroni and side salads. Cucumbers were in the salad, and I along with pastor's family and my own, ate it like nothing was wrong. My parents, the pastor and his wife had an engaging conversation about politics, religion, and some mild church gossip after dinner. My little brother continued to read his book, and I had a very awkward and one-sided conversation about Young Sheldon with the pastor's daughter. Then they left. And I went to my room to mentally implode.

To say I'm horrified is a major understatement. I don't think anyone is going to get sick because I scrubbed all of the cucumbers with soap multiple times and cleaned the vegetable drawer with bleach when I woke up this morning. I guess I also don't know that the violated cucumber was one of the ones that was used for dinner tonight, but then it's only a matter of days until we have salad again, or if mom cuts one up for water. I've rattled my brain for any way I could get some new cucumbers without telling anyone the details of the event, but I have nothing. Don't even have the money, anyway. Gave up the last bit of cash I had for the damn wine yesterday, and I have $0.43 in total on my debit card.

Admittedly, there is a very small part of me that doesn't even really care if they have eaten or end up eating the damn thing. I can't stand my family. My parents are invasive, controlling and neurotic, and don't give a shit about how I'm doing in so far as it pertains to god and the church. I'm a little more sympathetic to my brother as he's been stuck in this hell with me, but at 13 he's already begun to regurgitate way more religious dogma than I ever did at his age. And I know for a fact that they would want nothing to do with me if they found out I was gay. They'd probably kick me out on the street and spit on me if I had to guess. But even still, this is only a small part of how I feel. What I did was still so gross, and no amount of animosity I have for them can change how mortifed I am. I do have at least a semblance of a conscience.

So...AITA for all of this? WIBTA if I did nothing about the other two cucumbers? Please help.

[queerasfact]

Uncle Jack Charles

“...there are many Aboriginal people who are gay, both men and women, and ... we’re so proud we’ve made our mark and stamped our ground. ... us gay and Indigenous mob, we’re fringe dwellers twice over, and that’s what gives us great strength.”

Bunurong and Wiradjuri man Uncle Jack Charles was taken from his mother at just four months old as part of the Australian government policy of forcibly assimilating Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children. These children are now known as the Stolen Generation.

Raised in a Salvation Army boys’ home, and then by a white foster family, Jack grew up believing he was an orphan, and had no idea he was Aboriginal until he was 17. When he left his foster home at 17 to seek out his birth family, his foster mother called the police. When Jack was finally able to connect with his family, he described himself as being born again in his Aboriginality.

Uncle Jack had his first acting role at 17, in a community production of African-American playwright Lorraine Hansberry’s Raisin in the Sun. He went on the become a stalwart of Indigenous theatre in Australia, and in 1971, co-founded the country’s first Indigenous theatre group, Nindethana, which achieved international acclaim.

Throughout his life, Uncle Jack dealt with homelessness and heroin addiction, and spent time in jail for theft. As a burglar, he deliberated targeted wealthy Melbourne neighbourhoods, saying later "I robbed as rent collection for stolen Aboriginal land!"

Having experienced the prison system himself, Uncle Jack became a tireless advocate for young incarcerated men, especially Indigenous men. In 2010, he starred in a one-man show called Jack Charlves v The Crown, where he explored his life, and his struggles with a government bureaucracy that said a man with a criminal record couldn’t be allowed to mentor prisoners.

Uncle Jack was openly gay, although romance was never a big part of his life. He described giving the Welcome to Country at Melbourne’s pride event, Midsumma, as one of his most cherished duties.

Uncle Jack passed away on 13 September 2022.

Keep an eye on this blog throughout the week as we continue highlighting queer Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander history and culture for NAIDOC Week.

[Image: Uncle Jack holding his record Son of Mine]

[madlori]

Facebook Official

whoops my hand slipped and I banged out 1800 words of fix-it fic in like an hour. btw i think the Abby connection is dumb but I'm making it work.

Three years after reconciling with Buck, newly engaged to him, Tommy gets a phone call from a certain former dispatcher...who's just seen some interesting news via a Facebook Relationship Status post.

*****

(also on AO3)

To say that the phone call blindsided him would have been the understatement of the century.

He was just sitting at home watching the game, having a beer, minding his own business. Evan was on shift — must be a busy one, he’d only gotten two text messages all evening, one bitching about not having had time to eat dinner and the other about idiots who texted while driving.

His phone rang. Unknown number. Normally he wouldn’t have picked up, but with all the wedding preparations, a lot of vendors were calling. It was a little late to be making business calls, just after 8 pm, but he’d quickly learned that business norms meant little in the wedding planning business. “Hello?”

“Tommy?”

“Yes?” A woman’s voice. Familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

Pause “You’re marrying Buck??” A slightly hysterical note of disbelief entered the woman’s voice as she said the name.

And all at once, he knew who it was. Shit fuck motherfucker why didn’t we get ahead of this one.

“Abby. Um…”

“Evan Buckley? My ex-fiancé and my ex-boyfriend are marrying each other?”

“Small world, huh?” he said, going for levity.

“Buck’s not even gay!”

“No, he’s not. He’s bisexual.”

“I’m…okay. I’m sorry, it’s just…this is a lot of information to get all at once.”

“How did you even find out? Don’t you live in Phoenix?”

“Buck posted one of those relationship status things on Facebook.”

“Oh. I barely use Facebook.”

“Me either, but Buck does, and I hadn’t been on there in awhile, but I logged on and that was like the third post I saw!”

Tommy remembered the day Buck had made the post. They hadn’t really put their relationship on social media much - Buck posted photos of them on Instagram sometimes - and he hadn’t done one of those stupid relationship status things for them until they got engaged. They’d trawled their phones for the right pic, eventually settling on one taken at a 118 barbecue of them together, smiling, arms slung around waists. He hadn’t said so, but he’d gotten a little emotional over what Evan wrote on the post:

Evan Buckley is engaged to Tommy Kinard.

“It’s been a long road, but we made it. Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this man. He’s the best person I’ve ever known. I love you!”

“Well…I’m sorry that was an unpleasant surprise for you,” Tommy said, carefully.

She sighed. “I don’t know that it was…unpleasant. But a surprise, for sure. How do you even know Buck? How did you meet?”

“We’re both firefighters, it’s not that surprising that we could have met, is it?”

“No, I guess not.”

“And he was at my old firehouse. The one you refused to ever come to. But I guess you went when you were with him, didn’t you?”

“You never wanted me to meet your friends. I guess I found out why when you broke off our engagement.”

“I’m sorry, Abby. I know I said it then, but I’ll say it again now. I lied to myself, I lied to a lot of people. It took me almost trapping you in my lie, when you did not deserve that, to break me out of it.”

“I forgave you ages ago. We don’t have to go over all that again.”

“I met Evan…I guess it’s four years ago? We started dating not long after. I, um…was the first man he dated. I guess I made him realize some things about himself.”

“Just transforming lives everywhere you go, huh?” she said, a teasing note entering her voice. Tommy was happy to hear it.

“Yeah, well, I almost screwed it up. I broke up with him six months later. He was diving in headfirst, too fast, just all in and wanting to move in with me.”

“That sounds just like Buck.”

“I panicked and ended it before I could get in any deeper with him.”

“It was too late, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I was already in love with him.”

“He’s easy to love. Too easy,” she said, quietly. “But you got back together, obviously.”

“Took a little while. Almost a year. I dated a few guys, he dated a few people, but nothing stuck for either of us - I know now it’s because we were still hung up on each other. We have a friend in common and we’d hear about each other through him…but I didn’t really see him until we ended up on a major incident call together. I sustained a minor injury - just a scrape, really - and Hen from his house patched me up. I was sitting there on the ambulance deck, more or less left to myself, and he came waltzing up with that eyebrow raised like he knew all my secrets.” Abby chuckled, like she knew the exact expression he was describing. “He just said, are you done being fucking stupid yet?”

“And you were.”

“Yep. I was. He took me home that night and we’ve barely been apart since. Got engaged a year later.”

“You sound happy.”

“I am. I’m ecstatic. I can’t believe I got a second chance with him. I kicked myself for ending it like that, I don’t know what came over me.”

“I do. You thought you weren’t enough for him to want to keep you.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“That’s dumb.”

“That’s what he says.”

They sat there not speaking for what felt like a long time.

“Well…” Abby said. “I feel like I just unloaded on you out of the blue.”

“You kinda did,” he said, smiling.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have called.”

“I’m glad you did. You know…Evan and I didn’t realize we had you in common until our six month anniversary dinner. In fact, it was that revelation that sort of started us on the way to breaking up for awhile. But that’s been so long now and it hasn’t come up in a few years. I almost forgot about it.”

“Gee, thanks,” she said, her grin audible. “I’m glad you’re both happy. I have a lot of regret over Buck, how I left things with him. I assume he’s told you.”

“He has. If it helps, he doesn’t have any bad feelings towards you.”

“It does help. Thank you for that.” She sighed. “I’ll let you go. I just saw that Facebook post and spiralled a little bit.”

“Understandable.”

“Please tell Buck I say hello. And I wish you both so much happiness, Tommy.”

“Thank you. And I will.”

She hung up. Tommy stared at the phone for a moment, then opened his text message thread with Evan.

You’re not gonna believe what just happened.

*****

When Evan got home at 7 am, they had their usual two hours to share breakfast and maybe a quick fuck before Tommy had to be on shift himself. They tried to sync their schedules so their off days coincided, but it didn’t always work.

“Holy shit, why didn’t we get ahead of that one?” Evan said as he burst in the door, not even bothering with “hello.” His shoes and duffel went flying and he bustled into the kitchen where Tommy was mixing the pancake batter.

“Yeah, I had the same thought,” he said, leaning over to kiss him hello.

Evan went to the coffee pot. “I didn’t even think about it, that she might see.”

“Neither did I.”

“How’d she sound?”

“Really surprised at first. Incredulous, even? Like in the what-are-the-odds way.”

“Kinda like when I found out we’d both dated her.”

“Yeah, but you’re my himbo now,” Tommy said, smirking. “No, she was just shocked. I gave her the quick rundown, and she ended up congratulating us.”

“Did you tell her it’s her fault we broke up for a year?” Evan said, popping a strawberry into his mouth.

“I think the proper person to bear the fault is me.”

“And also me. Who asks someone to move in after six months? Before even saying ‘I love you?’ And when you had a house!”

“I say we blame Josh. He got you all juiced up with that damn Glee speech.” After they’d reconciled, Evan had given him chapter and verse on his mind-boggling thought processes on that last fateful day.

“He got me feeling guilty, is what he did. That I judged you for lying to Abby. Overcorrecting is one of my special gifts.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Well, while I’m overcorrecting…why don’t we invite her?”

Tommy looked up. “To our wedding?”

“Sure, why not? She can flip a coin whose side she sits on,” Evan said, grinning like the mischievous imp that he was.

“Evan, darling, love of my life, we are not inviting our ex to our wedding.”

He scrunched up his face. “Ew. ‘Our’ ex? Makes it sound like we were in a throuple.”

“Ew, indeed.”

He cocked his head. “I dunno, though. The thought’s kinda sexy.”

“Not to me! No vaginas anywhere near my bedroom. Kinsey 6, remember?”

“Of course, my apologies.”

Tommy looked at his innocent wide-eyed face for a few beats. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“Can I help it if the thought of two people I have found intensely attractive doing sexy things is appealing?”

“Can I help it if the thought of Chris Hemsworth going down on you has gotten me through some lonely nights?”

“Okay, I get the point. Shutting up now.” 

Tommy put a plate of pancakes in front of him. “Your shift okay?”

“Fine. Busy. I’m a bit wired. Do we have time for me to bounce on your dick for a bit before you have to head out?”

“For that, I’ll make time.” He sat down at the table at Evan’s side with his own pancakes. Evan slid a hand over and squeezed his thigh.

“Missed you, though,” he said, chewing.

“I always miss you when you’re on shift,” Tommy said.

Evan looked up at that, meeting his eyes. “Tommy, sometimes I miss you when you get up to get a beer.”

The simplicity, the sincerity of it made his chest tighten a little. He leaned forward, put his fingers under Evan’s chin and pulled him into a soft kiss, just like the first time. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you, too.”

“And we are not inviting my ex-fiancee who is also your ex-girlfriend to our wedding.”

Evan grinned. “Deal.”

[badasscoffeemug]

okay, so, i tried to pull as many interviews as i could to see if i could parse what the original plan for bucktommy was (or if there even was any), and subsequently, if there had been a pivot of any kind. now, we are not privy to any bts talk, and storylines are never set in stone, even from when they've been teased or promoted (henchim friction? hello?) but interviews are really all we have to go off of. so, idk, i compiled some quotes, all bolded emphasis is mine.

i kinda got the impression that it really was supposed to be a 4-episode arc for tommy, after which he would gracefully bow out and leave buck a newly realized single bisexual. for some reason, that changed and they chose to keep him around and extend that storyline (gelled rather well in the story? opening the door for potential future storylines?). except then they had them break up anyway, leaving buck in much the same place he would have been had they called it quits in 7x06, only much more heartbroken (essentially wasting over half a season's worth of buck storyline, except he's sadder now, i guess). but, judge for yourself.

march 28, 2024, TM: Showrunner Tim Minear also teased future episodes for Tommy. “He’s going to be around for a little bit. He’s not going to be a member of the 118 again, but he is going to be involved in some stories.”

april 4, 2024, TM: “I was kind of bored with the hamster wheel of the relationships [Buck] had been in. His story needed a slap. It needed some something fresh. This felt like it could be important to some people, and it felt like it was right for the character.”

OS: “I’ve always had in my head that I wanted a partner for Buck to be someone where it wasn’t easy”

TM: “That’s what I like about this. He’s not siloed off into some love interest story with a character who has nothing to do with the main characters.”

Minear noted that Tommy is currently an important romantic partner for Buck, largely because “it’s sort of the entry-level relationship.” Yet at the same time, he noted that he doesn’t think “anybody’s making wedding plans.”

“It really is a first fling for Buck right now. What that might amount to, only time can tell. But what I’m interested in is not something that’s fraught. I’m interested in something that’s tender and positive”

april 4, 2024, OS: “The focus was on it being important, but also not wanting it to feel like the bravest episode in television. We just wanted to tell a lighthearted love story that happens to be a queer love story.”

april 5, 2024, TM: “[what] I don't want to do is the mistake that I think we've made with some of the other love interests, which is siloing those characters off into their love life and they have no kind of organic connection to the rest of the characters in the story. [...] Going with Tommy allowed us to start to play a story without just inventing a whole new character just for the purpose of being the bi character or the gay character or the male love interest for Buck.”

april 12, 2024, TM: “that moment at the end of the episode where he sits down with Tommy and says, “You said I wasn’t ready. I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I’m ready for something. I’m just sure what that is yet.” But he feels safe with Tommy. So even though he doesn’t know exactly what road he’s stepping onto, he’s willing to roll the dice.”

april 12, 2024, LFJ: "So, it happens in phases. My manager said 9-1-1 called, and I was like, 'Cool.' And then he is like, 'All right, well, they called for an arc.' And I'm like, 'Four episodes? Cool.'

"Given the circumstances, we just kissed. There's something there. We go on a date, and then Eddie happens to show up because there's only one restaurant, I guess, in L.A., and I would totally understand if he was nervous and whatnot." (this quote has nothing to do with my point really i just think it's so fucking funny. this entire interview is so messy.)

"I have no idea," he explained when asked what the future could hold for the duo. "If the writers do choose to extend this storyline and make it into its own thing [...] I'm just as excited as you are to find out."

april 12, 2024, OS: "I just hope he continues down that path and I think we will see him opening up more and more, and being louder and prouder about it. I want to tell real stories where not everything is going to be straightforward, but I don’t want the angst or the trauma to be in these kind of negative troupes that we’ve seen before. I want them to have real world problems that couples or people who are first dating have, but I don’t want it to be rooted in outside people being homophobic or anything like that. Those are stories we have seen and we’ve told, and sure, of course, happen in the real world, but I want to tell a happy story between these people and a real story. They have issues and they have things to deal with, but I just want them to be real world, everyday relationship issues."

april 18, 2024, OS: "we want to tell it in an honest way where not everything is going to be easy and carefree. There are going to be issues, but we also don't want it to feel like it's down or too heavy. We want to tell this queer love story in a very honest way, but also in a very loving way."

"Tarlos is a beautiful relationship," Stark says. "I'm just honored to get to tell a story that can kind of partner up with that and maybe continue with a similar thread."

"I really want to see Buck continue to explore what it is that really speaks to him, and what he's into," Stark says. "He's obviously going to continue down this path with Tommy for now. I don't know what that story is going to end up being, but I would really like for Tommy to stay a part of Buck's life, regardless. He's obviously opened this door for him, and I think it would be really nice if [Tommy] was able to continue to hold [Buck's] hand and could help guide him through this process. As somebody who's a little older and more experienced, to kind of help shepherd Buck into this new phase of understanding who he is."

april 23, 2024, OS: “I really enjoy [Lou]. I really enjoy working with him. I think he’s been a great addition to the show, and I look forward to — assuming Tommy sticks around for a while — continuing to develop that relationship with him on-screen and off-screen.”

may 2, 2024, JLH: "I’m really excited for Buck, because I think he’s a person that has never quite settled into who he is. And if this is who he is, it’s beautiful,” Hewitt said. “I was so happy Maddie felt that way, because that’s how I would feel. And I’m really happy that she’s there for him. In Season 8, the actor hopes Maddie gets to “understand what all that means, be in that with [Buck], and get to know Tommy better.”

may 3, 2024, KC: “I think it was the brilliance of [co-creator] Tim [Minear]. Even introducing the storyline of Buck and Tommy, he said, "I don't want it to be this very special episode of 9-1-1. I'm going to make this a f---ing romantic comedy, man. You won't see it coming. It'll come out of left field." And I think that's the same thing he did with the revelation. There's no sit down, there's no big discussion or talk about it. It's what it would be. This guy has found love fina…. Well, I think love finally.”

may 3, 2024, KC: "When I heard about the storyline, I was super excited. And on a selfish note, I'm really happy because they brought Lou Ferrigno Jr. back. We've become really good friends, as he was in "Hen Begins," "Bobby Begins Again," and of course "Chimney Begins," and we formed a tight personal bond. I think he's a terrific actor, and I think this new dynamic brings this newfound energy into that storyline and into the show, and I'm excited to see how it blossoms."

not dated? post-7x06, KC: “It’s one of my favorite scenes,” Choi says. “It’s a reveal for most of the characters that Buck has found a love interest he’s actually interested in. It’s adorable, it’s cute, it’s perfect, and the audience is going to love it.”

OS: Stark likens Buck’s journey to “a hamster wheel”: “He’s been taking one step forward and two steps back, as is quite typical of being in your late 20s and early 30s, trying to find yourself,” the actor explains. “As we’ve moved into this seventh season, he’s found a way to really discover who he wants to be.”

july 8, 2024: 7x09 deleted scene released

september 9, 2024, TM: “They’re still getting to know each other a little better”

september 11, 2024, TM: Minear says not much time has passed between the events of the season 7 finale and the season 8 premiere, so there haven't been many developments in Buck and Tommy's relationship. "But we see that they're more comfortable together," he explains. "We'd definitely call them a couple. Obviously they're comfortable hanging out with Eddie, but when you couple with somebody, it takes up some of your time, so that also leaves Eddie a little bit out in the cold. Well, not out in the cold, but Buck doesn't have as much free time as he did before, let's put it that way." (yeah so, this barely happened?)

september 20, 2024, OS: “We don’t really have too much of a time jump moving into this season, so the relationship with Tommy is much where it was left off,” explains Stark. “It is in its early stages. They’re still learning and figuring things out about each other and what a relationship might or could look like.”

[usercelestial]

buck and tommy and josh and eddie have weekly game nights together. just simple couple activities, double dates and such. they're innocent, light hearted nights. but josh has always felt something like looming tension between all of them.

josh knows eddie has had thoughts about buck, knows he's definitely had thoughts about tommy, has woken up in the middle of the night to eddie bucking his hips against the mattress and moaning their names enough times to know that eddie has plenty of thoughts. and he's pretty sure buck and tommy have whispered dirty things to each other while watching josh and eddie dance together in those dimly lit gay clubs they used to visit more frequently. he's pretty sure they're all on the same page about this but he's about to tear his damn hair out because no one's doing anything about it. they just keep having long, lust-filled looks over monopoly and connect four. so he does what eddie always accuses him of and he schemes.

it's 8 o'clock and they're hosting tonight. josh gets the drinks and makes the little platters and pays chris 20 dollars to ask if he can sleep over at a friend's house (which he finds out later he was already planning on doing anyway so now he's out 20 bucks and chris is lucky josh loves him). he makes eddie put on that pink button up that makes his arms look good and is very fun to take off (mi corazón, it's just buck and tommy, why am i not allowed to wear my sweatpants?" "they don't match the button-up" "okay so why am i wearing a button-up?"). he himself throws on his tightest pants and a ribbed polo (they get a little distracted and let their chicken burn but buck always brings over an extra dish anyways so they carefully deposit it into the trash and continue groping each other.)

when buck and tommy finally knock on their door, he doesn't miss the sharp breath that buck sucks in as he looks eddie up and down. he also doesn't miss the way buck's eyes refocus when tommy's hand comes around to pinch buck's elbow a little. they share a glance and tommy bites his lower lip.

they exchange their normal pleasantries as always, rib each other, talk about their shifts, a few hilarious calls, the delicious food buck brought over and politely ignore the burnt smell coming from the kitchen. josh makes a point to let his hand linger on tommy's shoulder for seconds too long and watches eddie's throat bob as he swallows. then the games begin.

it's some card game tonight that josh is half paying attention to. he decides when eddie brings back the third round of beers for the night that it's now or never. he suggests a light game of truth or dare. ("what are we, russo? 12?" "what are you, diaz? chicken?")

they start easy ("who was your first guy crush, buck?" "hm, probably my gym teacher from middle school, mr. hudgens" "buck's old person fetish strikes again." buck and eddie throw pillows at each other for a second, tommy feigns offense but pets buck's hair with a sickeningly sweet smile, josh is mentally high fiving himself.) he tries to gently guide buck and eddie away from childish dares to more adult truths. he locks eyes with tommy while buck and eddie argue over how many marshmallows buck could hypothetically fit in his mouth (not exactly what josh had in mind but they're going in the right direction here).

he knows he's been figured out and for a second thinks tommy is about to slap his thighs and say "well im beat, let's go before he can try to seduce my partner any more" but tommy squints his eyes, then raises his brows as if to ask for confirmation, and when josh nods, tommy licks his lips and nods back, turning back to watch the love of his life smile at him with spit and sugar falling out of his mouth (the answer was 20 marshmallows for those keeping score).

tommy lets josh guide them, but aids by steering the questions and dares in a leading direction and kissing at buck's neck every so often to keep buck flushed and blushing. josh decides to ramp it up when eddie chooses truth for the first time the whole game and josh pushes his foot up against eddie's leg and asks "what's the most recent sex dream you've had?"

eddie stutters and shakes his head. josh doesn't think buck realizes he's leaning forward or that tommy's hand is gently massaging his thigh. tommy's gaze flickers to josh with a nervous expression ("did we push too far? was it too much, too quick?")

"you don't have to answer, babe," except josh knows eddie, "you know, if it's too much of a challenge, of course, you can always skip it."

eddie's posture straightens and he eyes josh up a bit. it's a challenge, as always, a threat, a proposition, a loving exchange of harshness.

eddie clears his throat (good boy, josh thinks to himself, he'll tell eddie that later) and starts speaking. "well, obviously you were there."

"anyone else?" tommy asks, trying hard to sound bored and a little patronizing. (josh kinda wants to suck his dick about it, he knows eddie does too because he stutters a little and shakes his head and starts over).

"obviously, you were there, josh. of course. um- and, you know it was just a dream but-"

out of the corner of josh's eye, tommy starts to kiss buck's neck again. buck tilts his head to give him more room, closing his eyes and gasping when josh assumes tommy sinks his teeth in a little. he doesn't look, he's too busy watching eddie watch them.

"uh-" eddie starts again, and josh takes that opportunity gently run his fingertips along the back of eddie's hairline, which always gets him purring.

josh is starting to think maybe eddie needs a little push, so he leans in close and bites his ear, turning his soft traces in eddie's hair to a firm tug in buck's direction. he points, "was he there, baby?"

eddie nods, cheeks flushed red, "buck and tommy," his knee jerks and his legs fall open, "they were both- and we were all-"

tommy's hand moves from buck's thigh up to palm him through his jeans, buck's eyes are half-lidded and glazed over as he watches eddie struggle to explain.

eddie looks over to josh, finally, and josh doesn't know what good deed he's done to deserve the look eddie gives him but he'll thank whatever god deemed him worthy of it.

eddie whispers low and quiet, just for them, "baby, you know i wouldn't- you know you're it-"

josh kisses him sweetly, trying to say "you don't have to explain, you don't have to justify anything when you're with me, we can love each other and love other people and come home to each other every day. our house can just be filled with love, not obligation or rules. just let yourself enjoy this, you're so beautiful when you enjoy yourself, you're so beautiful when you let yourself be loved."

but that's a lot of emotion and there are far too many things to say that he just doesn't have the vocabulary for and he thinks that if he tries to say any more than three words, he'll burst into tears and not in the sexy way. so instead he rubs his thumb over eddie's cheek and says, "i know, love."

eddie nods and looks back to tommy, "i think it's buck's turn, now, right?"

buck, dazed out of his mind, wrinkles his forehead, "huh?" is all he gets out while tommy continues his attack on his neck.

"truth or dare, baby." tommy supplies.

buck smiles, "jesus, okay, so we're doing this. uh, dare."

eddie gets on his knees and shuffles forward until their nose to nose, he briefly puts a hand on tommy's neck and there's a small exchange that passes between them. something like permission. josh makes a mental note to revisit that. tommy bites buck's ear once last time and looks up at eddie through his lashes, resting his chin on buck's shoulder.

"what's it gonna be, eds?"

"kiss me."

josh watches buck and eddie take out seven plus years of tension and emotion on each other, biting each other's lips and digging fingernails into each other's waists. tommy pets buck's hair and rubs his back until buck turns and kisses him quick and dirty, whimpers out "daddy" which makes eddie's jaw drop before leaning back and out of the way so eddie has full access to his partner. buck beckons josh over while eddie and tommy wrestle each other on the ground. he slides between his legs easily and when josh tastes him he suddenly understand why tommy's always walking around, looking like he's got his heart outside of his body. they get lost in each other, the four of them. they get lost in their mouths, skin, and heat; lost in their love and friendship and romance.

they collapse together on the floor of eddie and josh's living room.

"so, uh, game nights?" tommy comments, tracing over buck's ribs.

"hm, yeah i like this game." josh adds.

"same time next week, right?" buck turns to face josh and eddie, but josh gives the floor to eddie.

eddie licks his lips, "can't wait. but, uh, you guys are hosting next time."

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

This is a direct follow up to Story #387, Story #389, and Story #394. It is strongly advised that you read those stories first.

#400

“There he is!  Timothy Stone, get on up here!...  Welcome aboard!  Welcome to the Zelus.  I see you are impressed with my tiny tugboat.  Ha! Ha!  I love looking at reactions of new passengers.  You ever been on a yacht this big?

“It’s sixty-nine feet, and enough power to get us around the entire Bahamas and back here to West Palm Beach.  It has four staterooms and two crew quarters.  You get one of them.  Sorry, with the entire executive team here each of us will get our own stateroom. 

“Let me text Lloyd to take us out of the marina.  All of us have been here for some time.  No, don’t worry about it.  I told you to be here at three, and it’s five ‘til three.  No, we’ve been having fun with our new faggot we got tied up….

“You want a drink?...  I have this cognac that I was given in Vegas the other day by a potential client.  I haven’t tried it yet.

“Ahh we are moving.  We should be out of the marina in a few minutes.

“Here you go….  Cheers!  …Ahhh!  Smooth.  I’m not a fan of cognac, but this is pretty good.  It should be.  Courvoisier Mizunara is supposed to be one of the best out there.  On the shelves it’s worth $2,500.  But shit, I couldn’t tell that from a $100 bottle.  Bourbon is more my thing. 

“Growing up in Tennessee, my Uncle Jimmy used to make his own.  Everyone in a five-mile radius of his home had a bottle of his bourbon.  I used to help him out in his garage in the evening when his son went off to college.  Uncle Jimmy showed me everything, but we always wound-up drinking.  I was sixteen at the time.  I’d plow his ass at the end of the night.  After a few times, he didn’t even wait until we started drinking.  He had one of the best pieces of ass I ever had.

“His bourbon lives on with my cousin once my uncle passed.  I have a bottle of it here.  I may break it out sometime during this trip.  My cousin fucked it up when he went ran the company.  It’s definitely not as good as it was before.  Some boys just don’t have a mind for business.

“Speaking of boys in business, your son Michael is doing great.  From what Lloyd was telling me, he’s really taking to his new role as intern.  I know he finds it a challenge, but Lloyd, Ben, and Gary think he’s handling it better than anyone they have seen in a long time.  Apparently, he has a gift for adapting, kinda rolling with the punches.

“What I like about him—I met him this morning—is his ability to take directions without complaints.  That is such a difficult characteristic to find in boys these days.  Lloyd and Gary were indicating they want to keep him around after his initial internship.  I left him earlier working hard trying to impress me.

“…Oh you hear that cabin tone?  That’s Lloyd telling everyone that we’ve cleared the marina and are out at sea.  This is your first time on the Zelus.  When we are in open water, we strip naked.  All of us.

“I told you the other day when we were talking about promoting you to lead our European expansion, that we are a close group of men—of four gay men.  We share our conquests, our lusts, our dark needs with each other.  I trust these men like I would trust my brother, if not more.  We have been in countless gang bangs tearing up some faggot’s cunt.  I have seen their cocks and asses so much that it’s awkward to see them clothed.  The other two on board are faggots.  Naturally those two are going to be kept naked.

“So strip.  This is not an option.  You can jump overboard and swim back to shore if you would like.

“Good.

“You can leave them on the couch.  Ben’s boy will put them in your cabin.  If you go out on deck you can keep your sunglasses and baseball cap on.

“You have got to realize that the four of us have known each other for years.  Lloyd and I go back to our time in the Corps.  What connects us is our love for using and abusing faggots. 

“Right now, as I was saying there are two faggots on board.  One is Ben’s boy.  While Ben has taken him on as a partner of sorts, he’s still a faggot at heart.

“…I guess I should ask, do you know the difference between a gay man and a faggot?  A faggot is a gay man who has a need, an urge, a longing to submit to the whims of superior men.  The more humiliating, degrading, cruel the better.  Faggots live for the cum of its superiors.  It loves to degrade itself in order for the man to be elevated.  It needs the beatings, the piss, the bondage, the punishment to feel complete.

“I don’t know why you were hesitating about stripping.  You have a great body, average sized dick, nice long foreskin, and holy shit… Those balls are huge!  Let me hold on to them….

“Hey don’t hesitate.  We are all physical with each other as well.  Look, I’m standing here in front of you naked.  I already saw you check out my dick.  Yes, it’s very fat.  If you want to touch it, go right ahead.

“You know, as a man who says he bisexual, you certainly seem apprehensive….  Or is it the fact that I’m your boss telling you to take a hold of my cock.  I get it.  If you are going to be a part of this team, you are going to have to drop those pretenses.  When you walk around you should let those low hangers swing free and guide your every step.

“Let me check out your ass.  Hey, what can I say?  I’m an ass man.  I’m going to see it anyways, might as well be now.

“Solid and meaty, just as I would have guessed.  Nice and hairy.  Faggots seem to love licking a hairy crack.  You ever have your ass eaten out?...  There may be some ass eating ahead.

“Speaking of which, right now that faggot is down below.  It is tied down, blindfolded with a noise cancelling headset on, ass up.  The four of us have already bred it.  You will be up next.

“Your cock doesn’t seem like it wants to get hard….  Do you need something?  We have Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Muse, Tri-mix.  Well, I need a shot of Tri-Mix.  After this morning’s big load, I don’t think I could get hard again until tomorrow.

“You ever do Tri-Mix?  I use it when I want to fuck for a long time.  It keeps me boned up for a few hours.  You want to try it?  After a few minutes have passed you will be rock, and I mean rock hard.

“If you are nervous, this being your first time with me on the Zelus, just do it.  Let me get it.  It’s kept cold.  Don’t worry, I have a doctor that gives me whatever I want.

“Just stand right there.  Don’t worry.  I’ve done this many times.  Yes it’s an injectable.  And it’s injected into the shaft.  Aww, don’t turn into a pussy on me.

“I brought two syringes.  Let me do it to myself.  Here watch….  It goes in, I plunge, and it comes out.  Like that.  It’s over quick.  Now a few tugs and I can already feel it working.  I’m not going to get completely rigid for about 15-20 minutes.

“Look, you say you are bisexual, but I’m thinking that you are making up the gay side of it because you want to impress us.  You want this promotion so fucking bad you are willing to fuck some faggot in front of us.  You wouldn’t be the first straight man to shoot up his cock to fuck fags.  There’s a whole term for it: gay-for-pay.

“You want to be part of this team, you are going to need to learn to love using faggots, that includes dumping a load into them.  To do that you need to get hard.  This injection will do that for you.

“Here feel my cock again.  Grab a hold of it….  Feel that?  It’s harder than a few minutes ago.  Here let me inject you.

“Come here.  Just look up.  On the count of three.  One!  See, it went in….  And now you are done.  Give it a few tugs and you will start to feel it.

“You’ll be hard for the rest of the night.  Lots of fucking in your future tonight. 

“When we had our conversation in Vegas, I told you that I was pissed off at your skimming the profits but was very intrigued at the process you used to do so.  It took some serious creativity to pull that off.  I was impressed.  The guys too.  We set this cruise out to a remote island in the Bahamas to get to know you—to get to know you as a fag fucker.  Besides, the shit we do… man, we wouldn’t take on anyone who had a shred of decency.

“Do you feel your cock getting larger?  I can see it growing.  Yeah, once we go downstairs into the media room that doubles as a dungeon, you will see the faggot cunt secured to the sling or fuck bench.  Your cock will slide into its cunt.  And it should be silky smooth.  Better than any woman’s pussy.

“We have been training this faggot for a couple of weeks.  Lloyd secured him about the time when you and I went to Vegas.  He was an easy target.  What you probably don’t realize being essentially straight is that there are faggots out there that will do just about anything to serve men like us—brutal men like us.  Lloyd has a good talent for reading a potential faggot.  He says things that just seems to work on getting that faggot to be collared.

“Once that happens then it’s only a matter of time that they submit to whatever we want to do to them.  And all it took was this.  See this little fob?  This is the tool we use.  Here, press the number one button.

“Do it again.  And again.  What you did, is you sent a shock to the faggot down below.  The collar we put on him is wired up, like a collar for a dog to get it to stop barking.  Once they feel that, total submission is almost immediate.  With this particular faggot, he turned into a whipping post for Ben and toilet paper for Gary in no time. 

“Where we keep the faggot is wired up for numerous cameras.  So we can see what the faggot is doing and send a shock from anywhere in the world.  I even sent one from Vegas when you were looking up some number from some report.

“Look at your cock.  It’s starting to get rigid.  Damn!  You are a grower! 

“You know, let’s go see the faggot.  The guys will be down there.  We are certainly far from shore so Lloyd will have the autopilot on.

“This way….  Doesn’t it feel right to be walking around buck naked?  Trust me you’ll get used to it, and soon enough you’ll be naked pretty much all the time.  If you need to piss and you don’t have a faggot nearby, just aim off the side and go.  The one thing you’ll learn is pissing with a hard-on will take some time, which is great for loading up a faggot’s toilet cunt.

“And here we are.  Before we go in, I want to point out that you can see the men are enjoying themselves.  In general, we casually use faggots’ holes.  It’s about pleasure and not so much about busting a nut, although busting a nut happens a lot.

“Look at how the men are enjoying what’s going on.  Ben is balls deep in his boy, while the boy is tongue fucking Gary’s shitter.  Lloyd is pile driving the faggot over on the fuck bench, stirring up the cum stew. 

“This is the life we created.  This is what you are coming into.  Let’s go in.

“Gentlemen!  I got Timothy here.  His cock has been shot up and he’s ready to fuck.

“Damn Tim!  You really are a grower.  I should have expected that when I saw your long foreskin.  Now only the tip shows.  Skin it back; I want to see how big your head is.

“Shit!  Do you ever clean that thing?  Look at that dick cheese….  Come here.  Stick your dickhead in the faggot’s mouth.  He’ll clean you off. 

“The faggot is blindfolded and has noise canceling headset under his hood.  He won’t know what to do until you use the handle on his hood to pull his head back.  Then just shove your dick in his mouth.  The faggot knows to clean off dick cheese; I’m sure Gary made sure of that. 

“There you go….  I see that smile.  Feels good, doesn’t it?  Better than any woman.  A well-trained faggot is better than anything a woman can do. 

“Well you got Gary and Ben to stop and watch you.

“Oh you see his welts.  Yeah, a well-trained faggot also takes a beating.  We punish faggot slaves appropriately, but they also are made to understand that sometimes the beatings are for our enjoyment.  Ben and Lloyd certainly like to have their fun.

“This faggot has been trained to do so much.  He’s going to fetch us a good price.  Yeah, we plan on selling him.  There are men around the world that pay top dollar for a well-trained faggot slave.

“Pull out.  I said pull out.  I told you that you will enjoy this.

“Lloyd, move the faggot to the sling.  I think Tim here is ready to fuck.

“While he’s doing that, care for another drink?  Or would you like a cigar?  No?  Ok.

“Boy.  Go upstairs and pour Tim here a glass of the Courvoisier Mizunara cognac.  The bottle should be sitting out.  Hell, bring the whole bottle down.

“That’ll help you adapt and sink into everything to come.  So have you ever been to a gang bang, or fucked a woman who has several loads in her?  The feeling on your cock is amazing.  Yes it’s sloppy, but it also feels silky smooth.

“That’s a sight, isn’t it?  That cunt has been trained to take cock after cock and still remain tight to give pleasure and loose enough to not cause your dick to struggle to fuck.

“Here’s your cognac.  Might as well down it.

“Now go on.  Step up.  Slide it in.  Trust me, this is going to be a fuck you will never forget. 

“…Good.  You ready? 

“There you go!  There’s the smile.  Now FUCK!

“Give that faggot what he deserves.  Slam into him.  Faggots were made to be fucked not made love to.

“Hell yes!  Look, we are all stroking our dicks for you.  You have no idea how hot this is….

“Guys, gather around.  You should see this up close.

“…Go for it!  Don’t hold back.  Breed the faggot. 

“FUCK YEAH!  FUCK!

“…You did it!  In record time!  Well done!  Don’t pull out yet.  Let the rest of your body calm down first.  Savor the feeling.  Savor the moment. 

“You did good.  Now, I need for you to pull out slowly.  The faggot is trained to clamp down.  Good.  Good!

“Look at that slime on your cock.  That’s all our juices.  How do you feel?  I know.  Words elude you?... Ha!

“Get on your knees….  You heard me.  I want you to look at this faggot’s cunt. 

“Gary, pull apart the fag’s cheeks.  Let’s really see that cunt hole.

“On your knees….  There you go.

“Ben.  Lloyd.  Now.

“…They move fast, don’t they?  You have the same shock collar on you as the faggot does.  Now pay attention.  This is a level one zap. 

“…Hurts like a motherfucker, right?  There are ten settings, and you had the weakest.  I don’t think another demonstration is needed.  Do you understand your situation?

“…Shut up.  I don’t want to hear your babble.  That was a ‘Yes Sir’/’No Sir’ question…. 

“OK.  You really thought you could skim money from us and be rewarded with a promotion?  Please!  You need some sort of punishment.  That begins with your lips kissing the faggot’s cunt lips.  Go on!  Lean in. 

“…That was level two….  There you go! 

“Now keep your mouth open.  The faggot may be wearing a noise cancelling headset, but we can speak to him.  He’s going to be told to shit some of his cunt slop into your mouth.  Do not swallow it.  Nod if you understand.  Good.

“Whew!  That was a messy fart!  Remember don’t swallow.  Now pull back.  Look up at us.  Show us the load.  Now gargle it.  Like mouthwash! 

“Two minutes ago, you were a man, but now you are a gargler of cum gobs.  Now don’t swallow.  Stop gargling.

“Get up and go share that in the faggot’s mouth.  Get up….  You know I hate having to repeat myself.  If I have to do it again, you will experience level three.  Now go and have a deep passionate kiss with the faggot.

“Hold his head and swap spit.  Pretend he’s a woman.  Hell, pretend it’s your son Michael’s mother.  I don’t care.

“Fuck yeah!  I didn’t realize that you are an excellent kisser.  Pull off.  There will be more kissing.  Get back to kneeling at the faggot’s cunt. 

“You are going to repeat the process exactly the same, except for the gargling.  You can skip that.  Any hesitation will be met with level three for triple the length.  You understand.  Just nod.

“Good.  Oh, I forgot to tell you one thing.  You need to hear it before you go back to eating another splatter fart out of your son’s ass….

“…Oh yeah!  The faggot here is your son Michael.  This is the internship we set him up with.  Oh yeah.  Your son was a faggot before us.  It was easy for us to pluck him.

“Now, remember level 3.  You are to do the exact same thing with the same level of passion.... I'm fucking serious.  Go!

“…Damn!  That was close.  A split second longer in hesitating and you would have been shocked.  Keep licking.  While you wait to receive your gift from your son’s cunt, Lloyd here is removing your son’s hood.  He still has his blindfold and headset on.  We will be removing those shortly.  You probably won’t recognize him initially because Ben had removed all this body hair even on his head.

“Did you hear that?  Gary just busted a nut watching you felch out our loads from your son’s cunt.

“Pull off when your mouth is full.  Good.  Now go French kiss your son. 

“Just like before.  Go on now….  Fuck yeah!

“This is so hot.

“Now go back to his cunt.  But this time remain standing.

“Stick  your slime covered cock back into your boy’s cunt.  And fuck him.  That Tri-mix I injected you with should keep you hard for a long time.  You’ve already fucked a load into him.  Now just fuck.

“You really should see yourself.  Oh wait, you can.  Look over at that TV.  Yes, we have been filming you.  See your face.  There’s panic, fear, guilt, regret, and even a little disgust.  All the good emotions.  And over on the TV to your right, you can see how your son became a faggot with each of us.  Oh yeah, he wasn’t coerced into being a faggot like you were.  No, he was totally into sperm burping and pole riding.  The fear you had that he might be gay turned out to be true in the most glorious way.

“DO NOT STOP FUCKING.

“And now, we get to see shame you have in him and in yourself, by taking the headset off first. 

“Faggot, it is imperative that you do not say a word.  If either you or the shithead fucking you say one word, you both will get shocked at level 3.  This includes screaming.  I want both of you to nod that you understand.

“Good.  Now Tim, remove the blindfold. 

“Look into your son’s eyes.  Let him see just how much your fuck up has cost him.  All this is because you had arrogance and ambition.  You tried to fuck us over, you tried to steal from us, and you believed that we would be ok with it and promote you as well?  Fuck that!

“Are you crying?  You are!...  Do not stop fucking your son.

“Faggots!  That was level 3.  Yes!  The both of you got shocked.  That’s how punishments will be going forward.  One fucks up, then both gets shocked.

“Now get back to fucking your son.

“Here’s the situation.  We still have about four hours to go.  And you have a hard on that will last another three to six.  You will be fucking him non-stop until we get to where we are going.  Until then, you will not say one word to each other.  Remember those shock collars we have padlocked on you were meant for barking dogs.  If you say one thing, the sensors will register sounds and you two will be shocked.  Also, that sling has a sensor that will monitor for movement.  If that movement stops or even slows down—say due to stopping fucking—you two will be shocked.  Tim, if your collar should go more than 6 feet away from your faggot son’s collar, you two will be shocked.  If any one of us bring up one of our video feeds and see that your cock is not inside your faggot son’s cunt, you two will be shocked.  I will free the faggot’s hands.  I want the two of you to enjoy playing with each other’s chest.  What can I say?  I’m a nice guy.

“That’s a lot of fucking between the two of you between now and when we reach the island.  But here’s one thing before we leave you both to go have dinner.  That island is a small private island, about two to three acres.  There’s a small dock and a metal shed to shield from the elements.  The owner of the island always has a box stocked with water bottles and something to eat.  Last time we sold a faggot there, they put in a hammock between two of the four trees on the island.

“Faggot, you will be left on the dock.  The island owners will send carriers to pick you up either tomorrow or the next day.  From there, they will arrange delivery to your new owners.

“Until then you are free to roam the small island.  Swim.  Whatever.  If you want to swim to the next island, it’s about 7 miles in open ocean, and that island is about ten times larger, but still uninhabited.

“So that’s the life your dad has caused you to have.  Look at him.  He’s a failure, and he knows it. 

“Well Tim.  While you cry, keep fucking your son.  This will be the last few hours with him.  What do you have to say?  Oh, let me turn off your noise sensor….

“…No we can’t simply forget all this.  You stole a lot of money from us, it needs to be paid.  We paid a lot in fuel to get us out here.  We paid for a pick up on the island.  They expect a faggot.  Now, if you want to switch places with your son, that can be arranged.

“You want to do that?  You want to be sold into sex slavery instead of your faggot son?...

“…Well fuck!  I wasn’t expecting that!  You didn’t waste any time in shaking your head no.

“Faggot, did you see how fast your dad just gave you up?  Shit! 

“These past weeks have been carefully planned.  Every word, every detail.  From the Vegas trip where we had our talk, to Lloyd convincing faggot here to sign up to be our intern, to the strip club dancer I paid to have sex with you so that a potential buyer could see you in action, to the tri-mix dose on hand, to the video feeds cued up, and to me handing the shock remote to dear old dad to get him to shock his son three times.  The one thing I was expecting you to do was the fatherly thing and offer to go instead of your son.

“Nope.  You chose to sacrifice your son.  Didn’t even think twice.  That’s fucking brutal.  Just when I think you can’t be more of a piece of shit, you surprise me.

“No YOU are going to be sold, not your faggot son.  Your new owner saw you fuck that stripper, and he wanted you.  He’s into hairy middle-aged straight men as his sex slaves.  He doesn’t want your hairless faggot son.

“So you are going to be sold.  But I wonder.  Hmm.  I’m going to contact your new owner and see if he’s interested in the pair of you two as a set.  Yeah, that is a great idea, to sell your son into slavery as well.  If you had just offered yourself up instead of your son, he would have been spared.  But no. 

“If you have anything to say, save it.  I just put your noise sensor back on.  Get back to fucking your son.

“Gentlemen let’s go have some dinner.  Ben, I see your boy is gone.  To start cooking I presume.  You are one step ahead, as always.  Let’s leave these two have some private time.  They have lots to talk about, too bad they can’t say anything.  Lloyd, I know you have been eying that cognac.  Go ahead and grab it.  It’s yours for all the hard work you put in.  Actually, you all did good.  I’m proud of you all.  That was fun.”

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer fantasy, part 1

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean “guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending”, but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don’t always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of “gay best friend” or a blink and you’ll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

For queer sci-fi recs, click here! For a masterpost of book rec lists, click here! For more details on the books recommended here, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites!

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez*

AKA the book the killed me. Two boys travel throughout their land with the body of a god as her horrible, horrible children try to hunt them down. It’s hard to explain more than that, but trust me when I say the narrative voice and literary techniques are incredibly unique in how they blend past and present, reality and story, lead and bystander. Truly an experience. Features an m/m romance.

The Unbroken (Magic of the Lost series) by C.L. Clark*

Tourraine, who was stolen as a child and trained as a soldier for the empire that conquered her home, is recruited by Luka, the future leader of the conquering country, to root out a rebellion. A game of twisted loyalties and attraction is soon to develop as the two must decide where their priorities lie: with each other, or with their respective countries and people.

Sing the Four Quarters (Quarters series) by Tanya Huff*

Though a royal by birth, princess Annice renounced her throne to become a bard, a musician who through training can Sing elemental spirits to do their bidding. Ten years later, she goes on the run for two counts of treason, first by imperiling the succession order by becoming pregnant, second by helping her ex, and the father of her child, escape the palace dungeons and a death sentence. Bisexual lead in an f/f relationship. When I first read this book I described it as, and I quote, 'a fucking delight', and I stand by that.

The Unspoken Name (The Serpent Gates duology) by C.L. Clark*

The sort of portal fantasy you get when all the worlds connected by portals are fantasy worlds, and none of them are ours. The portals themselves become simply a part of the worldbuilding that the characters use to travel between fascinating places, and it’s all really cool. It follows Csorwe (lesbian orc assassin whom I love), who grew up in a cult, indoctrinated as a child sacrifice to a god. But on the day she was meant to die, she instead chose to follow a powerful wizard and train to become his loyal servant and sword. Aside from being an excellent fantasy, it’s also a close look at the hard path of unlearning indoctrination and the search for love and validation where you’ll never find it, and learning to live for yourself. Multiple queer leads.

The Jasmine Throne (The Burning Kingdoms series) by Tasha Suri

A princess held captive by her own brother, who wants to see her dead, tries to trick a servant into helping her escape, but with undeniable attraction growing between them and the servant having her own goals of liberation things quickly get complicated, both between them and in the country at large as rebellion and dangerous magic brews. Sapphic romance.

The Priory of the Orange Tree (The Roots of Chaos duology) by Samantha Shannon

Queen Sabran's lineage has protected the country of Inys from dragons for a thousand years, but now the safety of their land is threatened as Sabran is yet to conceive and assassins are closing in. Lady-in-waiting Ead is secretly part of a society of hidden mages, and is using her position to protect her queen. Meanwhile, on the other side of the sea, dragonrider Tané is faced with an impossible choice. The fates of all three are intertwined as they attempt to stop the rise of a great dragon. 800+ page epic fantasy. Sapphic romance.

The Raven and the Reindeer by T. Kingfisher*

Young adult, fairy tale retelling of the Snow Queen. When Gerta's friend Kai is stolen away by the evil Snow Queen, Gerta must depart on a mission to save him. On the way, she encounters, among others, a talking raven and a pretty robber girl who become her allies. Sapphic romance.

The Rise of Kyoshi (Kyoshi duology) by F.C. Yee*

Young adult. Set in the Avatar universe, but aimed at an older audience than the animated series. Though she will one day be one of the most well-known avatars of the land, for now, young Kyoshi is but a humble girl who has yet to find out her true destiny as the bender of all four elements and keeper of balance of her world. When betrayal strikes and a dear friend is lost, Kyoshi goes on the run alongside fiesty firebender Rangi to find out the truth of her destiny and power. Sapphic romance.

Legends & Lattes (Legends & Lattes series) by Travis Baldree

Viv is tired of adventures and bloodshed - now she wants a peaceful life, and decides to go after it by opening a café. But going from warrior to small business owner is easier said than done, especially when Viv's old life comes knocking. Best described as a cozy fantasy, with a largely low-stakes but heartwarming plot and a sapphic romance.

Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee

Gyen Jebi is an artist, but making a living is difficult. When offered a job by the Ministry of Armor to paint the magical sigils that animate their automaton soldiers, they have little choice but to accept. But as Jebi sees the dark depths of the government, especially the shocking source of their magical paint, they must find a way to resist. Perhaps by freeing the Ministry's mighty automaton dragon... Nonbinary main character.

Crier's War by Nina Varela

Young adult. Who says sci-fi has monopoly on robots? In Crier’s War, artificially created automae have defeated and subjugated humans, who live as second class citizens. Young Ayla goes undercover as a servant, meaning to assassinate automae girl and Sovereign’s daughter Crier. This would be easier if the two weren’t quick to develop feelings for each other.

Black Sun (Between Earth and Sky trilogy) by Rebecca Roanhorse

In a pre-columbian inspired world, sea captain Xiala, gifted with an unusual connection to the sea, travels with a mysterious scarred and blind passenger toward a dangerous goal as prophecy heralds the return of a god. Features among others bisexual and nonbinary leads.

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin*

In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her daughter, stolen away by a father who just murdered their son after having discovered a terrible secret of their family. Does feature multiple queer characters and a main polyam relationship, but DO NOT read this expecting happy queer relationships as this series handles many dark subjects (you should still read it though, it's incredibly good).

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan*

Young adult. Kids who can walk between our world and a magical one get recruited into a magical school that trains them to be either fighters or diplomats. Our lead decides that fighting is stupid and that he’s going to peacefully solve every conflict ever, all while being the most delightfully obnoxious little brat possible and getting involved in the most bisexual love triangle imaginable. Very good, funny, and heart-felt coming of age story.

Our Bloody Pearl D.N. Bryn

A siren who’s been held captive by a pirate is freed, but too injured to survive on their own as their tail has become paralyzed. Another pirate captain decides to help them out and has to work to win their trust. Fairly fluffy and light on world-building and plot (though there is a bit of a revenge story in there), with a focus on character and recovery. m/nb romance with an asexual love interest.

A Master of Djinn by P. Djélí Clark

Set in an alternate 1910’s steampunk Cairo, where djinn and other creatures live alongside humans. We get to follow an investigator as she races to catch a criminal using a powerful object to control djinn and stir unrest. Fantastically creative and fresh, and also features a buddy cop dynamic between two female leads as well as a sapphic romance.

Black Water Sister by Zen Cho*

As a toddler, Jessamyn Teoh left Malaysia. Now a young adult, she’s broke, closeted, and moving back. There she’s faced with the ghost of her estranged grandmother, Ah Ma, who was a medium and avatar of the deity the Black Water Sister in life. Now she demands Jess' help in exacting revenge against a gang boss that offended her god. Meanwhile, all Jess wants is to get her life back on track.

Heaven Official's Blessing (Heaven Official's Blessing series) by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Once, Xie Lian was the beloved crown prince of a kingdom. Then he rose to godhood at a young age, and was expected to take a step back from his land and his people, but in his inability to do so ended up losing everything. Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian has ascended to godhood for a third time, forgotten by mortals and the laughing stock of Heaven. Trying to rebuild his reputation, Xie Lian sets off on a mission, and on it encounters an infamous demon king who inspires fear in all of heaven. M/M romance.

Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore*

Young Adult. Jane is invited by an old acquaintance to an extravagant gala in an island mansion, stranding her among the rich and glamorous. But being surrounded by rich people is the least of Jane’s problems: the mansion is housing secrets, some of them tied to Jane’s own family. The mansion offers her five choices, all of them leading her down different paths and different answers. Jane, Unlimited is a choose-your-own adventure story of sorts, featuring five different endings in five different genres, each more off the wall bonkers than the next. It also features a bisexual main character!

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children series) by Seanan McGuire*

A tumblr favorite, the Wayward Children novellas feature a school open to children who have returned from adventures in other realms and now have trouble adapting back to regular life. Some installments are set in our world, others follow children as they have their otherworldly adventures. The main characters vary between books, but are generally pretty diverse with among others asexual, trans, intersexual and sapphic leads. Both funny and dark, it takes a closer look at the trauma many endure growing up different.

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern*

Surreal and fairy tale-esque, The Starless Sea is stories within a story, following graduate student Zachary as he finds a strange book which, in-between other tales, tells a story from his own childhood. Trying to find out how this came to be, Zachary gets involved with a pink-haired woman and a handsome man who are doing their utmost to protect a strange, otherworldly library available only through magical doors. It’s a book hard to put in words, but which I once described as “romantic without being a romance while stile having a love story at it’s core”, and which can be summed up only as “an Experience”. It’s also quite gay!

Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer*

Young adult. Nita isn’t a murderer - technically. She just dissects the bodies of supernatural beings her mother brings home and sells for parts on the black market. But when her mother brings home a still living victim, Nita has had enough and frees him. As it turns out, no good deed goes unpunished as Nita is betrayed, her own nature as a supernatural entity outed as she’s kidnapped and placed behind bars. Now she must find a way to escape before she's sold for parts. Features two aroace leads and a queerplatonic relationship, though it isn’t made textual until book 3 and briefly masquerades as a romance, which is pretty hilarious.

The Last Sun (The Tarot Sequence) by K.D. Edwards

Urban fantasy. Rune Saint John is the only survivor of the massacre against the Sun Court years prior. Now he’s been hired by Lady Judgement to find her missing son, Addam. Alongside his companion and bodyguard Brand, Rune goes on to question Addam's family and business contacts all over New Atlantis, island city and home of the Atlanteans after their original home was destroyed by ordinary humans. But the more he digs, the more Rune finds clues that Addam's absence is connected to Rune's own tragic past. M/M romance.

Gossamer Axe by Gael Baudino

Centuries ago in Ireland, Chairiste Ní Cummen was trained in the secrets of music and magic. But her pride was her downfall, trapping her and her lover in the land of the Sidh. Only Chairiste escaped, hoping to one day win her lover's freedom in musical battle with the fairy that holds her captive. Now she is Christa Cruitare, harp teacher in the modern world and all but resigned to her loss. Until she comes across a great new music: heavy metal. Taking one last chance to win her lover's freedom, Christa sets out to gather other skilled musicians and bring them with her in her final battle. Sapphic romance.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

Pantomime (Micah Grey trilogy) by Laura Lam

Young adult. On the surface, Gene's life is that of a noble debutante. In reality, she has secrets: she's both male and female, and has magical abilities that hasn’t been seen in an age. In the face of a betrayal from her parents, Gene runs away from home, dresses up as a boy, and joins a circus. Intersex main character.

Ghost Walk by Kay Solo

Maaya Sahni can see ghosts, and does her best to survive in her small isolated town by keeping her head down. But when an entire street full of people is spirited away by faceless specters that scares even ghosts, Maaya must find a way to stop the specters. Lesbian main character.

Swordspoint (Riverside series) by Ellen Kushner

In Riverside, duels are the way to settle disputes, and Richard St. Vier is the undisputed master of the sword - at least until a death is met not with awe but with outrage. M/M romance.

[ven0moir]

So I'm not quite sure how to phrase this yet so PLEASE reblog this so a smarter Byler is able to connect the dots properly HAHA

But ... I was watching the show Eric last night and I noticed some ... VERY compelling similarities to Stranger Things: NUMBER ONE Time Period 'Eric' and Stranger things are both set in the 80s.

NUMBER TWO Main Premise The disappearance of a child as one of the main plot hooks. And look at Edgar ... doesn't he look familiar?

NUMBER THREE Queer themes Although the queer themes in Stranger Things are more ... subtle/subtextual, in Eric they show the struggles of one of the main characters as a closeted gay man in the 80s. It's honestly gut-wrenching and had me tearing up at the end. NUMBER FOUR William and Michael Speaking of the main character, his name's Michael. And his lover ...? William. Yep. There is a literal queer couple named William and Michael in this very VERY obviously inspired by Stranger Things Netflix show. And I REALLY don't think it's a coincidence.

I don't exactly know what to make of it, though, and I am sure there are far more themes between the two than these four, but these are the ones that were the most obvious to me.

I'm not kidding my jaw was on the floor. And I might be delusional but I mean come on ... it's one thing watching a Netflix show like .. idk, Bridgerton, with not as many obvious common themes with Stranger Things at surface level.

But this one?

I'll eat an edible later tonight lmao and revisit this to see if i can make any more connections but for now I'm weirdly excited ...? It feels like we're receiving Byler crumbs through this show or something. Makes me wonder what the point would be.

Anyway, please share any thoughts! I'm curious what other Bylers might think of this or maybe I'm just delusional haha

[carbonbasedmatter]

there's sadly not a lot of content of them together but troy and annie's friendship is so important to me. I feel like we don't talk about them enough outside of general trobedison. they're two people who liked the idea of each other at some point for kind of superficial reasons but grew to appreciate each other as their own people and not just this goal of someone to "pull" the more they got to know each other. honestly glad that the writers dropped the ship cus it's so much better than it would've been if it was romantic. instead we got this cool thing where they both kind of helped each other grow into themselves and cope with changes.

the talk they had at the end of mixology certification reflecting on everything that happened after annie's sudden crisis about what she wanted to do with her life was so sweet.

ANNIE: ... I did it because I didn't wanna be me. I did it because i'm not sure who I am. Admit it- we went to school together for four years, and you didn't even know me.

TROY: Yeah, but I know you now, You're Annie...You like puzzles and little monsters on your pencil and some guy named Mark Ruffalo. You're a fierce competitor and a sore loser and you expect everybody to be better than who they are and you expect yourself to be better than everyone. Which is cool.

This was the episode where Troy realized that becoming an adult isn't this big, dramatic change and the people he looked up to were just as confused and imperfect as he was. He decides on his own that the grown up thing to do is to get everyone home safely rather than drinking. Here he's the one reassuring Annie, telling her how she does still have time to explore the world on her own terms, not knowing her well back then was his own loss.

I really like that about their dynamic how Troy kind of helps Annie realize she can just...relax and be herself without being judged, seeing her high school crush that she always wanted to impress casually building pillow forts and speaking in only movie references with his best friend. We don't see any immediate drastic changes in her that it seems unnatural but she's definitely more comfortable weird in her own way after moving into 303 (For ex her making Abed film missing lover clips for her)

I love how much they both care about abed too...in different ways. troy matches his weirdness, giving him an escape from what the rest of world thinks while annie shows him he CAN leave the world of simulations and scenarios, being different from someone but still having them respect you as a friend and build a close relationship with them letting him connect with the world. But they actually care about him letting him show a vulnerable side that he doesn't with a lot of the other members of the study group.

I also think the gay himbo+ smart but insane lesbian dynamic is v funny yea

anyways here are some silly photos that'll hopefully help get my point across

[lowkeyrobin]

i saw that you wanted mcyt ideas so im here to deliver!! maybe something christmas-y? i know its not even thanksgiving yet but im feeling so holly jolly. maybe like how they spend christmas with you? (about anybody, but def tom and ran please !)

oooo okay okay!! ; and dw I've been in a Christmas mood ever since I had to set up a wishlist and get people gifts LMAOOO ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!!! ; also since some are British I tried to incorporate British traditions ; also sorry if this gets posted like.. on Christmas, I probably decided to save it because i didn't get any other christmasy reqs lol ;

MCYT ; happy holidays

includes ; tommyinnit, badlinu, ranboo, quackity & slimecicle

warnings ; language, mentions of drinking

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

bro takes Christmas very seriously

you do all sorts of shopping and activities together

Christmas just reminds him of his younger, innocent self before the internet and the pressures of the online world

it's just a joyful time where he feels like he's right where he belongs, in a cheesey hallmark movie

you decorate the tree together and window shop once the sun sets

your tree is one of the green ones with the off white / yellowish lights, and your theme is usually red / white / silver

but there's complete creative freedom around the house, you're just not buying new tree decor when what you have is totally fine

on Christmas you invite your friends and family over and get in a big circle for Christmas crackers :))

and don't worry, he did cover your home in colorful Christmas lights lol

also matching ugly sweaters cause why not

if you crochet, you made one for him yourself with some... vulgarities

baking up sweet treats with recipes from pinterest is the best part

FREDDIE BADLINU

his favorite part is the gift giving and repetitive movies for sure

the entire holiday season, you're chilling on the couch watching cheesey hallmark movies and watching the grinch on repeat

and dont get me started on Christmas specials of your favorite series

you definitely make your own decor together because why not

your tree is one of those white ones and you don't really have a theme, just colorful ornaments with some sentimental ones on it too

you wrap presents together while listening to music (mostly Christmas pop, Sabrina's fruitcake ep, Tyler's inspo by the grinch ep)

you're the cool aunt/uncle/parents siblings duo istfg

trust if you have any siblings with kids, they yearn to see you on Christmas

^his sister yearns for Christmas at your place too, trust 🙏

you 100% do one of those animal fundraisers for Christmas and get the shelter new toys, food, blankets, and little sweaters 🫶💔

RANBOO

you don't celebrate Christmas, you celebrate ✨️ Christmas ✨️

cunty Christmas guys 🙏🙏 lock in

but you go all out for the season

green Christmas tree, rainbow lights, rainbow decor and silver accents

it's actually so pretty

festive music is always playing, paired with one of those dim screen savers with the crackling fireplace on the TV

you're the vintage spirit of Christmas except you're not stuck to a theme

a family of four in the 70s except gay and no kids

trust Sabrina's fruitcake ep is on REPEAT

ugly sweaters are a must

and that tree is stacked with presents (especially since a lot of your friends are celebrating with you)

you definitely make cookies together and go shopping for the kids & animals at those Wal-Mart giving tree thingies (idk what they're called im sorry)

but giving those kids and animals the Christmas they deserve just makes you so happy

ALEX QUACKITY

if you aren't familiar with Mexican Christmas culture, you definitely are now

and if you are Mexican and celebrate the same way he does, that's perfect!!

for one, he made Ensalada Nochebuena (a fruit salad of sorts) and Rompope (Mexican style eggnog) for you to try. even if you didn't like the food, he'd appreciate you wanting to connect with his culture

you have a very elegant tree, green; soaked in lights and colorful decor, mostly reds, blues, greens and yellows

he also shows you a lot of just random traditions and pictures from his childhood surrounding Christmas, it's really cool

he was talking about how he never got candy from the star piñatas during the holidays, so you decided to paper mache him up a star piñata

he was very thankful for it, and you spent the rest of Christmas Eve night munching on chocolate

your gifts for each other are genuinley so perfect

and you invite some friends over for drinks and dumb activities, and playing with new little toys together 😼

peak holidays

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

yall have the typical green tree and neutral colored ornaments and some sentimental ones

you don't heavily decorate because it's not really the point to you two

you'd rather have stupid funny decorations chilling around the house at random then be annoyed with putting it up and putting it away if that makes sense

like the living room will have the addition of the tree and look basically how it does all year, nd then you remember the horrifying clay sculpture of Charlie that sits beside the television

you go black Friday shopping, the types to wake up at 4am and crash and burn at 1pm

you aren't even freaks for deals, it just locks in the holiday feeling

and then on Christmas eve you're both panic wrapping gifts because you put it off too long

and then you wake up at 8 the next morning and realize people are coming over in like an hour so you scramble around the house throwing food together

and when you go to turn on some Christmas music it's fucking Christmas Don't Be Late by Alivin & The Chipmunks

you just let it play, it's a good song

chaotic neutral christmas

[e1e4n0r5]

Twisted Love: Chapter 4

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Summary: You always expected to marry your twin brother, Daeron. However, when this does not come to be, you find comfort with your siblings. As only Targaryens could. 

Minimal smut in this one, we have some angsty conversations.

WARNINGS: canon-typical incest, jealous husband, relationship insecurity, ANGST, group sex, gay (male) penetration, lesbian sex with strap-on

Weeks passed. You enjoyed spending time with Daeron and getting to know each other again. He told you stories of Oldtown and the things he had studied during his years there. You filled him in on the politics inside the Red Keep; which families were trustworthy, which ones were snakes in the grass. You had tried telling him stories about the children, but quickly noted that he did not enjoy them. It saddened you that he wasn’t interested in learning about your children – his nephew and niece – but you could understand, so you didn’t challenge him.

All five of you spent time together walking along the beaches or taking tea in the gardens. You were always so happy to have everyone reunited once more that you didn’t notice the obvious tension brewing between your husband and your twin. They wouldn’t sit together; they would barely speak, and when they did it was subtly antagonistic. You only noticed Aemond’s hand on your thigh or arm around your shoulders, and that his presence was as comforting as it ever was. You didn’t notice Daeron’s sneer at the sight of you two cuddled together, nor Aemond’s cocky smirk to your twin over your head.

But eventually you did notice the tension. You blamed the happy bubble you had been living in since Daeron came home. You had just been so happy to be reunited with him, that it didn’t occur to you that mayhaps not everyone would be as thrilled. You knew Aemond had been tense the day Daeron returned, but you had chalked that up to the change of Daeron being home; it had been the four of you for so long, that you had just assumed adding in another sibling would disturb the status quo Aemond enjoyed. You had assumed Aemond would settle, and soon be happy that his younger brother was home again.

You had been wrong.

The tension felt like it was growing by the day. Once you had started paying attention, you observed Aemond’s jaw tighten every time Daeron entered the room, and how it would stay tight until the brothers were separated again. You watched as Daeron’s shoulders would slump upon seeing you and Aemond sat close together, or whenever your children were present – despite the fact that your two little ones had taken a real shine to their Uncle Daeron and loved being around him. You perceived how Aegon and Helaena interacted somewhat stiffly with the youngest Targaryen-Hightower sibling, like he was a visiting guest rather than their brother. You weren’t sure of the precise reason why they behaved so – was it as not to anger Aemond? Were they just not interested in reconnecting with Daeron?

Everything felt different after that.

The bubble had burst.

Even when you, Aemond, Aegon, and Helaena were together at night, you could only feel the whole time that someone was missing. It now felt wrong for it to be the four of you, knowing that Daeron was by himself in his rooms. Rooms that were connected to the very same passageway that gave your brother and sister entry.

That night, you tried to focus on the pleasure Helaena was offering as she thrust her leather strap into you, but you could only feel distracted. It didn't help to watch Aemond hammer his hips into Aegon’s. You couldn't shake the feeling that Aemond’s angry thrusts were representative of how he was feeling about the whole situation. Aegon didn't care, moaning loudly as he stroked himself whilst his younger brother vigorously filled him. The four of you had been in this arrangement many times before, but it didn't feel right anymore.

Helaena recognised this above you, leaning down and kissing you deeply. “Do you want to stop, hāedar (little sister)?”

You smiled, somewhat sadly. “No, issa doña (my sweet), keep going. I want to be with you.”

“Your mind does,” she whispered in Valyrian, slowing her movements but still maintaining a rhythm, “but your heart feels something is missing, yes?” Tears filled your eyes against your will. Helaena was always so perceptive. “It's alright to feel that way. I don't judge you for it. You have a lot of feelings right now, everything is changing. But all will be well, sister. The dragon has five heads, five hearts. Five hearts become one. Now let us reach completion, and we can start afresh tomorrow.”

Your tears became happy ones at your sister’s words, and you nodded. She picked up her pace again, and you let out your first real moan of the evening, both reaching your ends only a few minutes later.

You would start afresh in the morning.

You and Aemond strolled through the gardens with your children, listening to Maenor chat about how pretty the flowers were, picking one from time to time. You smiled down at him, ruffling his hair affectionately even as he protested. Aena was fighting a nap in her father’s arms, but Aemond was unrelenting in his soft singing and rubbing her back. She was slowly losing the fight, tucking her head under his chin as she sucked her fingers, tiny blue eyes taking longer and longer blinks, grunting occasionally as she futilely fought against sleep.

Still smiling, you glanced up, pausing. You saw Daeron on a balcony a few stories above you, looking down at you as you all walked. Even though you couldn't see his face clearly, you could feel through the bond you shared that he was distressed.

You turned to your husband. “I'll be back soon.”

He looked at you, squinting somewhat suspiciously. He had spotted Daeron a few minutes earlier. “Alright. Come back soon; Maenor will want to show you everything he picks.”

You smiled and nodded, beckoning a nanny to step forward and play with Maenor, kissing Aena’s cheek as Aemond held her, before heading off into the castle. You knew your way up to the balcony, hoping Daeron would still be there.

He was.

You approached him from behind, watching his still back as he rested his hands on the stone railing around the balcony.

“Daeron?” you spoke softly, coming to stand next to him. You lightly touched his back, feeling him tense under your hand.

“Everything is so different now. Everyone.”

“Time has passed,” you concurred. “But we’re all family, still. And you’re home now.”

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “You’re a married woman.”

You flinched that time. “Yes. I have been for a few years now.”

“Aemond is your husband,” his face twisted into what could only be described as a sneer. “I could have imagined you marrying a Lannister, maybe even a Stark or Baratheon. But Aemond... Being his wife has changed you.”

You frowned at him. “What does that mean?”

“He makes your plate for you,” he said in disgust. “Does he truly think you so incapable, or himself so superior, that he gets to choose what you eat and how much? I would never dream of treating you that way! It’s an insult, Y/N, can’t you see that?”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Then I suppose I must have changed, because I like that Aemond does that for me. Yes, he does it for me,” you insisted. “He asks me what I want, and he makes my plate for me. He has never once told me what I can and cannot have; if I want something, he gets it without question. I like it; it makes me feel like he’s taking care of me. It’s not him being controlling, or a brute; it’s a way that he shows me he’s looking after me and my body.”

“One of the many ways he brags.”

Before you could retort angrily, he continued. He watched Aemond and the children below. “You named your son Maenor,” he said, a disdainful curl to his nose.

Your hackles rose at the mention of your child. Putting your shoulders back and standing tall, you snapped, “What of it?”

“When we were growing up and thinking of names we would give our children, you always said you hated the name Rhaenor.”

“Which is still true-”

“But that you loved Maelon.”

“Again, true-”

“So why would you choose Maenor?” he demanded, his fist banging the stone railing.

You floundered. “We liked the name-”

“And then Helaena names her son Maelor! Why in the world would she choose such a similar name?”

“Because we were pregnant at the same time; our sons were born within the week.”

Daeron put his head in his hands, shaking in frustration. “But don't you see? We can never use the name Maelon now! The two names are already so similar; there can't be Maenor, Maelor, and Maelon! That would be ridiculous!”’

You calmed, suddenly understanding where Daeron was coming from. He wasn't just upset about some names sounding similar; he was grieving. “Our sons will have other names.”

He shook his head, looking at you with tears in his eyes. “I've always dreamed of having a son with you called Maelon, Y/N!” he wept. “When I was alone in Oldtown, I would picture our life together: me and you; our son Maelon; our daughter Daela... And now he's gone, Maelon’s gone. The son I've been dreaming of for years will never exist now! You've taken my children from me, don’t you understand!” he cried, tears falling down his cheeks.

Your own eyes filled with tears. “We’ll have our children, Daeron-”

“How?! You married Aemond!”

“I had to,” you protested, no idea that your husband was right around the corner, listening to every word. “I didn’t know when you would be coming home, or even if mother and grandsire would allow you to return. I challenged them why we weren’t betrothed, and they said they might need alliances with other Houses. I refused to be married off, so I asked Aemond to wed me. To keep me here. So that we could all be together again one day. So you could come home to me.”

Aemond had had enough. He stalked off down the corridor, not hearing what you said next.

“I love Aemond. I love him madly, he is a part of me. As are my children. As are you. As are Aegon and Helaena. You all have my heart. But he is my husband, Daeron. I will not – cannot – choose you over him. I want us all to stay together, I don’t want you to be the only one not with us. A Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing. I can see that, plain as day. You need to be here, idaña. Will you try that? Will you try staying with us?”

He sniffled, rubbing his eyes. “He’s rubbing it in my face, Y/N. Like he won a prize, taunting me that you're his wife and that I'm alone.”

“I know,” you nodded, hugging Daeron tightly. “I’ll talk to him.”

That evening after dinner, you and Aemond returned to your rooms. He hadn’t said a word all night. He had made your plate for you, like he always did, but he didn’t speak a word to anyone. He also didn’t touch you. He didn’t hold your hand, touch your thigh, rest his hand in the small of your back... Nothing.

Your handmaids helped you out of your dress and into your sleepwear, then the nanny brought in Maenor and Aena. Maenor had had a bad dream and wanted comfort, which had woken Aena and she was then refusing to go back to sleep. Aemond picked up your son, cuddling him as the young boy pressed his tear-stained face into his father’s neck. You took Aena and sat down, nursing her in your usual armchair by the fire.

“Thank you,” you said to the nanny in a soft voice, “we’ll take them back to the nursery ourselves when they’re feeling better.”

She nodded and curtsied, leaving you all alone.

The only sounds in the room were the fire crackling, Aena nursing at your chest, and Maenor’s soft sniffles and deep breaths which were gradually calming down. You don’t know how long you wait before you speak.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong now, or after our children are asleep?”

Aemond glanced at you. “I don’t know what-”

“Don’t, Aemond. Don’t even try that. You’ve been off all night. Something is wrong. Something has happened. So you can either tell me now, or when the children are asleep. When would you prefer?”

Your husband didn’t respond. He turned and sat down in the armchair opposite you, holding Maenor against his chest, his large hand rubbing soothing circles against his back.

He continued to be silent, so you did too. Fine, he would tell you later. After a while, Aena finished nursing on one side, so you switched her to the other. Maenor had also fallen back asleep, his breathing now slow and steady in his father’s arms.

“You were talking to Daeron earlier,” Aemond stated, looking into the fireplace.

You raised your head. “I was. You were listening, weren’t you? And what did you hear?”

His jaw clenched. “That he longs for children with you, which you seemingly want too. That you only married me because you didn’t want to be sold off to another House.”

You sighed through your nose. “Then you didn’t hear the entire conversation.”

“So you deny it?”

“No. I did ask you to marry me after Mother and Grandsire told me that they hadn’t married Daeron and I because they might have wanted alliances with other Houses. That’s true. You knew that the day we married; you all came into my rooms and I was crying.”

“So you did only marry me to escape some Lord in a castle somewhere,” he accused.

You said firmly, “I chose you to be my husband because I love you. Yes, the reason for us marrying so suddenly was political, but don’t you ever question my love for you. I’ve always loved you, Aemond. I’m delightfully happy being your wife, and I believe I can say the same for you as my husband. Or are you not happy?”

“I am happy.”

“So why are you doubting this now? Because Daeron is back? Because you think I’ve just been waiting for him, and my life with you has just been an exercise in passing time?”

He sulked, his hand still stroking up and down your son’s back. “You always wanted to marry Daeron. We only wed because you were about to be married off and you needed to prevent that.”

“If I had wanted to prevent myself being married to a stranger, I could have just laid with you for one night, ruined my reputation. Or I could have married Aegon as his second wife. But I didn’t. I chose to marry you, to be your wife. To spend my life with you, until my last breath. Have you forgotten that? Has the return of my twin, your brother, given you amnesia of the vows I spoke?” you snapped.

“You and Daeron were always meant to be wed.”

“Well apparently, we weren’t! Mother and Grandsire sent Daeron away to prevent our marriage, it was never going to be allowed to happen. They sent him away when they realised that our desire to marry wasn’t some little childhood infatuation or dream. They sent him away as quickly as they could and they wouldn't let him come home. They were never going to allow us to marry,” you enforced.

“You couldn’t have been sure of that. You married me in desperation and anger. I was never going to be your first choice.”

“Like I was yours? I heard you at Laena Velaryon's funeral; you said to Aegon that you would have gladly wed Helaena had the two of you been betrothed. You infuriate me, Aemond,” you murmured, shaking your head. “I can’t take back how I felt in the past, and I won’t apologise for it. Daeron and I had always been close, we had no reason to believe that we would not be allowed to wed one day. But I’ve always loved you, Aemond. How could you doubt that? I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t love you. If Daeron and I had been allowed to marry when we were eight-and-ten, I would have taken you as a second husband the moment the ceremony between Daeron and I was complete.” That made Aemond’s head shoot up. “Does that really surprise you? You truly thought I didn’t care for you at all before our wedding?”

He said nothing.

That broke your heart a little. “You’ll note I also haven’t run off with Daeron now that he’s back, as you seem to think I’m so desperate to do.”

“But you would have him join us? The four of us become five?”

It was a test, you knew it.

“If he chose to, yes. I would have us all be together. It seems so unfair to exclude just one of us.”

“But you would choose him over us in a heartbeat,” he accused. “The moment he asks-”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Aemond,” you cursed him in Valyrian, not wanting your children to hear your words. Your strong language took him by surprise, and he did indeed stop talking. “I would not. I would never. I knew that even before we were married, when I thought there was still a possibility of marrying Daeron. I knew I would not give any of you up, and I knew that if he had asked me to, I would have refused to marry him.” That visibly shocked Aemond. “You are all my family and I love you all. I would not give up any of you; not for Daeron, not for you. Not for anybody. Do you hear me? The King himself could order me to do so, and I would refuse. I would let him disown me, bastardise my children, take my titles and privileges, take everything from me, before I gave up any of you.” Little Aena finished nursing, letting out a small sleepy sound as she released your breast. You kept your eyes on your husband, moving Aena up to your shoulder, rubbing her back in firm circles as you got to your feet. You approached him, staring down at him as he held your son. “Do you understand me now, husband? Is that clear enough for you?”

He swallowed thickly and nodded.

He had never loved you more.

@watercolorskyy @shesjustanothergeek @aemondsdelight @thelittleswanao3 @misspascalpunk @heavenly1927 @probablybraindamage @theoneepileptic @sabii5 @baellabass @sleepymikmik @butterfliesflewaway @immyowndefender

[kkami-writes]

waiting for us — chapter twenty six. howls moving castle wc. 625 + 4SS

The apartment was not as bad as Jisung had made it out to seem. It definitely looked lived in, especially by four boys but it wasn’t quite the fire hazard you thought it was going to be. The apartment next door to the right contained the other four, he told you that they got pretty lucky with two places opening up at the same time.

The two of you had decided on Chinese, eating directly from the little takeout boxes. When Jisung said it would be a casual date he had really meant it.

You were sat next to him, food already been inhaled and promptly discarded to the little side table he had next to his bed. Both of you were too engrossed in Howl’s Moving Castle at the moment, having already watched Spirited Away while you ate. The movie was set up on a projector that displayed directly against the wall. Jisung had explained that movie nights were taken very seriously in their relationship, the boys taking turns picking each week. He would not disclose how many times he had already made his soulmates watch this particular movie.

The silence between the two of you is comfortable and you feel a sense of contentment just sitting next to him. You’re unsure if it’s the soulmate link that makes you feel this way, or if Jisung is simply a calming presence. He’s close enough that you can practically feel his body heat but he leaves enough space for you to close the distance yourself if you choose to. Still, it’s nerve wracking, heart hammering against your ribcage and it’s making it hard to focus on anything but the boy next to you. Not even the glorious Howl Pendragon could captured your attention as effortlessly as Han Jisung is right now.

He’s dressed in a black and white stripped sweater and jeans, a signature beanie covering his hair. Yet he looks so effortlessly handsome and it makes your mouth a little dry. You have to take a sip of water.

When you put your hand back, you’re placing it in between the spaces of your bodies, itching for a little bit of contact. You don’t think he’ll notice but of course Jisung does. Despite his eyes never leaving the movie, he’s so acutely aware of everything you’re doing. Are you ok? Are you having fun? You’re not too overwhelmed are you? These questions practically bounce around in his head. He doesn’t want to read too much into the small movement of your hand but fuck, does he really want to intertwine his fingers with yours.

So he puts his hand almost dangerously close to yours, giving you once again the option to take the plunge if you wish. You’re chewing on the inside of your cheek, fingers twitching to get just a little closer. You let out a quiet shaky exhale before sliding your hand to brush against his own. The touch sends a shiver down your spine and you suddenly feel like a school girl with a crush, butterflies swarming annoyingly in your stomach.

Jisung can’t hide the smile on his face as he connects your pinkies together. You’re not surprised when your hands end up wrapped together later, him holding your hand in his lap.

You already knew that you were well and truly fucked. These boys would 100% be the death of you (in the best way possible). Yet, you can’t find it in yourself to really care. You were tired of being scared, letting people decide how you should feel - the results of the shitty family fate had dealt you.

But you were more than ready to jump into the deep end for these boys. If you drowned, so be it.

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