#conclusion?

[sunshineboy-greer-collins]

New Video spoilers under the cut

just some of my thoughts as they came while watching (with quotes out of the video)

tbh the whole beginning with Sam killed me, the coffee thing? damn okay sir

“Tell me how you look so damn good right after waking up?” […] “Bullshit. You look heavenly.” *kissies* “Which shouldn’t work nearly so well considering you tempt me like something straight outta hell”

When I tell y’all I am going feral! This man!! I am weak and soft and on my knees for him skdnjddndj

Sir just gimme your hand in marriage please

“A little tedium gives me a chance to catch my breath” *more kissies* “Not that you make it easy to do that either, always taking my breath away.” SIR- PLEASE I AM BEGGING

Samuel “I don’t have a way with words” Collins, fucking liar

“Make it two” HELLO OKAY WOW I AM AHHHHHH that one caught me so off guard lmaooo

and also the whole interaction between Ash and Tank gave me life, i love them your honor. i already headcanoned that they were great friends, i love their friendship so fucking much!! the whole little serious conversation part about him being glad Tank stayed and came back and all that was so sweet!! also i loved that Ash was so respectful about the hug thing and that they stood up for him with the beta thing? fucking hell yes i am living for that

and i am absolutely living for Sam calling Ash a goofball lmaoo and Ash forgetting that Sam has vamp hearing made me giggle and also reminded me of Sam’s prior video with Darlin forgetting that Sam is stronger because of being a vamp.

[m00nagedreamin]

oh dammit

[cuppyloser]

so the fun thing abt being scared of spiders is that sometimes for some reason your brain decides to not be scared of certain spiders and this is how i am about jumping spiders. there was one rlly rlly tiny one on my pillow earlier and i was lookin at him like

like. littol guy. lil fella. itty bitty creature.

[fintensifies]

Oh the moral dilemma of watching something people have been asking you to see or rewatching the same single episode from a show and specifically rewinding for that one scene fifteen times

[osavallankaappaus]

There are to people singing about a war

One of them is playing a quaint tune with banjo while the other is growling more than singing to the tune of a heavy drum beat and electric guitars

The guy with the banjo is the one who supports the war

[hoodedjelly]

my little relativity falls designs for fun

[whateveriwant]

I know I’ve already gone on and on about what it’s like to have a size difference with Simon Riley, but I’m sorry, I just will never get over how big and strong this man is.

Like I feel like sometimes his size gets lost on us since he’s surrounded by other tall, buff military guys all the time. But y’all, I’m telling you, this man is big. Like 6’4, 250+ pounds, big enough to eclipse the sun big.

With a man that big, it honestly doesn’t even matter what size you are because he’s always going to be bigger and stronger than you anyway. You can be tall, short, stocky, thin, whatever, and this man is still fully capable (and willing? 👀) of snapping you in half like a twig.

Are you worried about potential home invaders? Well, you shouldn’t be. One quick flick of his wrist and he’s breaking the neck of anyone who tries to threaten you. Did you accidentally lock yourself out of the house? Well, don’t bother calling a locksmith. There’s no lock left to pick after he’s just caved the door in with his foot. Do you have a really stubborn jar you’re struggling to open? Well, hand it over, love. He can crack that sucker open in half a second flat.

But Lord, don’t even get me started when it comes to all the ways Simon uses that strength of his in the bedroom.

Like when he tells you to sit on his face so he can eat you out. Don’t even try it with that nervous, hovering, “I’m too heavy, Si,” bullshit. You better sit your ass down right when and where he tells you to or he’ll hold you down by the hips until he’s had his fill.

Or when, after a night of heavy flirting and teasing, he’s got that look in his eye as he corners you against your entryway wall. Don’t be surprised when one moment your feet are firmly planted on the ground, and the next you’re lifted into the air, your legs slung over his arms as he drills into you like you’re his own little fuck puppet.

Or when he’s got you spread out on his bed, got your knees up by your ears, got the backs of your thighs burning in a way that’s matched only by how your walls have to stretch to take his thick cock. Don’t think he’s being mean or malicious when he sees your eyes well with tears but does nothing to change the way he’s fucking down into you. It’s not that Simon doesn’t care whenever you cry and quiver and plead with him to go easier on you, it’s that he knows the truth. He knows that, deep down, you love when he handles you like he isn’t afraid to break you.

[secretdazedragon]

Apex predators

[fluentisonus]

☞ THUS

[gammija]

nothing personal but this kind of comment rlly exemplifies to me a disconnect between canon and popular fanon jmart characterization because they almost literally had this conversation in canon - except, their lines are swapped!

jon, for all his scared grouchiness, is a secret romantic, while martin, for all his forced optimism, is at his core a pragmatist

[bixels]

Baffled.

[repotting]

So it's clear a lot of the "I'd even vote for Hitler" Democrats are trying to impress upon us the urgency of the situation, like "things are so dire I'd even resort to this!"

And of course one major problem with this tactic is that you're assuming we'll be like "wow, you'd overcome your obviously strong principles" but like.

You haven't established you even have those principles. You've just told us that you'd collaborate with Nazis and like, yeah, that is famously something many liberals have been okay with doing.

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[leavemebetosleep]

Family portrait. Child is named Minx. Bonus:

Make a stupid uninvited personal comment to a stranger, and get an answer you didn't want to know.

[garnet-xx-rose]

Yes, I’ve done the work analyzing this relationship’s problematic traits and I’ve come to the educated conclusion that I still want them to fuck

[doctorsiren]

delulu family

Sorry fellas. He’s married! To SCIENCE!