#complicity to market sexism

[foggyfanfic]

Train of thought:

Drawing Julieta for the first time and I am honestly shocked by how light she actually is, like I went through and color picked from a few scenes and even in the darkest one she just wasn’t as dark as I remember. Probably because she’s always next to one of the lighter people in her family like Agustín and/or Pepa. At the same time her skin tone is so warm and it really puts things into perspective like how Agustín and Pepa are lighter than Julieta, but Bruno is paler. And that got me thinking about how one of the advantages of having such a big cast is that they can show off the diversity of skin tones, especially in the case of a Latino family.

And that got me thinking about that one interview Stephanie Beatriz did where she said when she got cast for Brooklyn Nine Nine, she hadn’t been expecting it because they had already cast a Latina actress and it’s sort of unheard of to cast two actors of the same gender and color unless the story requires it or that color is white. But because Brooklyn Nine Nine had two Latina women they had more freedom to characterize both because they weren’t saying something about Latinas as a whole if Rosa is angry while Amy is anxious, they were saying something about just those characters as individuals.

And that got me thinking about how there being so many Madrigals means there’s technically room for so many different forms of representation. You can headcanon that Camilo and Antonio have completely different relationships with their race, because there being two black boys who have mixed race parents means there’s room to tell more stories about those experiences. You can headcanon Bruno and Pepa as having varying anxiety disorders whether they be OCD or something else, because there’s room for that. You can headcanon that multiple Madrigals are bi or demi or gay and they all have very different experiences when it comes to exploring their sexualities because there’s room for that. And you can headcanon that these characters are dealing with the way their race, their sexualities, and their potential mental health disorders all mesh together to form small parts of their complicated identities because that’s realistic to people’s lived experiences there’s room for that too.

And that got me thinking that Disney probably won’t get into any of that if we get more canon content, because they’re motivated by profit margins. I can sit here and think about how being GNC in a small catholic village would affect Luisa’s relationship to her gender, but Disney definitely isn’t going to give us an episode about how racism and sexism blend together to tell WOC they’re not feminine enough. That won’t sell well in conservative markets. I can sit here and wonder how long it took Camilo to notice that the difference between transforming into a man and transforming into a woman is way less distinct than he thought it’d be, but Disney definitely isn’t going to give us a Pride month special about how biological sex is more of a spectrum than we think and gender is a cultural construct. That won’t sell well in conservative markets. And I can play around with a fic idea about Luisa and Camilo eventually comparing their relationships with gender, but I know Disney is never going to show that sorta discussion happening in one of their IP’s. Because that won’t sell well in conservative markets.

(Wait, my dog needs to go out. Seriously? It’s almost 3 am? If I get murdered taking you on a walk at 3am then you’re grounded from milkbones for a week. Not enough stars out tonight. Hold on, let me pick it up, you might be an animal but I’m not, can’t just leave your mess where somebody might step on it. Ok, let’s go back. No, you don’t get another chicken jerky just because we’re doing bedtime again, the bag says a dog your size should only have one a day. Ready for lights out? I love you too, sleep well.)

And that got me thinking that I sorta hope Disney never confirms any of the Madrigals genders or sexuality. Would it be awesome if Disney took advantage of this giant cast to introduce kids to the sheer variety of experiences life holds? Of course! Do I believe for one second that’s what’s going to happen? Not with the current leadership. If we’re lucky, they’ll give Bruno a “friend” who happens to be a man, and Bruno will hold his hand once right before the show gets canceled because it “isn’t doing well with its target audience”. Then because they won’t have confirmed if he’s bi, gay, sexually fluid, ace and gay-romantic, demi and pan-romantic, or any one of the many sexual identities a person can be when they hold hands with somebody the same gender as them, there’ll be fandom wars over it. I will once again have to see somebody say that saying a character is bi is LGBT erasure because it means you can ship that character in a het ship. And I don’t want to deal with that.

And that got me thinking about all the people that are “not marginalized enough to count”. People who supposedly have passing privilege, people whose gender or sexuality is considered trendy, people whose disabilities are invisible. I’m hungry for discussions about those folks, about people like myself. I don’t think I’m going to find a nuanced discussion about identity on the Disney channel, but I wish that when I was a kid there had been a Saturday morning cartoon that sat me down and said “Someday people might tell you there ain’t a place for you in the mainstream, so you’ll go find other folks who don’t fit, but they’ll tell you you’re too mainstream to belong with them. All of those people will be wrong, almost nobody gets a full privilege bingo, life isn’t a dichotomy between mainstream and weirdos. We’re all shades of gray”. But that’s an incredibly complex thing to teach a kid, and again, it doesn’t sell well.

And now I am thinking about how incredibly nuanced the original movie is, and maybe I shouldn’t be so pessimistic, maybe Disney will let the original creative team take the helm. Sure, it’s still doubtful that we would get to see all the shades of queer on a Disney show, but we might get good representation for mental illness. And if the original creative team is in charge it will definitely have a plethora of fleshed out, complex female characters. Not to mention, while I may not be qualified to judge whether or not they’re giving accurate representation to people of color and folks from Colombia, I did read a lot of happy reviews from people who are qualified to judge that. I wouldn’t have gotten so invested in the movie if the writing team hadn’t done such a good job making believable characters, maybe I should trust them.

My dog is snoring, can’t see her but it sounds like she settled in the bed next to her water. I should sleep too. Good night.

[feckcops]

Mental health diagnoses are capitalist constructs

“Mental and physical diagnoses aren’t objective facts that exist in nature, even though we usually think of them this way. While the experiences and phenomena that fall under different diagnostic categories are, of course, real, the way that we choose to categorise them is often influenced by systems of power. The difference between ‘health’ and ‘illness’, ‘order’ and ‘disorder’ is shaped by which kinds of bodies and minds are conducive to capitalism and the state. For example, the difference between ‘ordinary distress’ and ‘mental illness’ is often defined by its impact on your ability to work. The recent edition of the DSM, psychiatry’s comprehensive manual of ‘mental disorders’, mentions work almost 400 times – work is the central metric for diagnosis.

“When we look across history, it becomes even more obvious that diagnosis is tied to capitalist metrics of productivity: certain categories of illness have come in and out of existence as the conditions of production have changed. In the 19th century, the physician Samuel A. Cartwright proposed the diagnosis of ‘drapetomania’, which would describe enslaved Black people who fled from plantations. While we might think of drapetomania as a historical outlier among ‘true’ and ‘objective’ diagnoses, it is underpinned by the same logic as other diagnoses: it describes mental or physical attributes that make us less exploitable and profitable. In the 1920s, medical and psychological researchers became interested in a pathology called ‘accident-proneness’, which was applied to workers who were repeatedly injured in the brutal and dangerous factory conditions of the industrial revolution. Dyslexia, a diagnosis I have been given, also didn’t emerge until the market began to shift from manual labour towards jobs that relied on reading and writing, when all children were expected to be literate. Despite having problems with reading, I understand that in a world where reading and writing weren’t so central to our daily life, there would be no need to name my dyslexia, no need to diagnose it.

“As a system of state power, many of us rely on diagnosis to get the material things that we need to survive in the world. When illness or disability interferes with our ability to work, we often need a diagnosis to justify our lack of productivity – and for some, diagnosis is the necessary pathway to getting state benefits. If we want to get access to medication, treatment or other healing practices provided by the state, diagnosis is also the token that we need to get there. This is made all the more complicated by the fact that doctors have the power to dispense and withhold diagnoses, regardless of our personal desires. When it comes to psychiatric diagnosis, most of us know someone who has had to fight or wait for years for a diagnosis that would improve their quality of life – particularly in the realm of autism, ADHD and eating disorders. The internalised racism, sexism, classism or ableism of doctors often gets in the way of our ability to access the diagnoses that we want and need. Then there are those of us that are given diagnoses that we reject, a process that we also have no say in ...

“When we understand that psychiatric diagnoses are constructed, contested, and aren’t grounded in biological measures, the idea of ‘self-diagnosis’ starts to feel less dangerous or controversial. Self-diagnosis is grounded in the idea that, while the institution of medicine may hold useful technologies and expertise, we also hold valuable knowledge about our bodies and minds. I know many people who have found solace and respite in communities for various diagnoses, even if they don’t have an official diagnosis from a doctor. These spaces, which respect the wisdom offered by lived experience, can be valuable forums of knowledge-sharing and solidarity. Self-diagnosis also pushes against an oppressive diagnostic system that is so centred around notions of productivity.”

[that-left-turn]

sorry to vent but let me just say how annoyed i am right now. i've unfollowed the twd account everywhere because, well, no need to explain the reasons why, but yesterday i decided to read the comments on a rare tweet about Carol and i was so disappointed at the amount of hate and mocking tweets. i just can't take it anymore. i mean it's exhausting to fight people hating on her for no reason and i fear this might affect the promotion as well! what do you think about that? i mean why can't people just avoid what they do not like? why do they feel the urge to be edgy? i've read jokes about sophia, izzie, henry, laurent... i'm tired of this fandom

Female characters are always held to a much higher standard than their male counterparts. Men can be flawed, complicated and morally gray, but women have to be perfect. Unattainably so. I find Carol fascinating and relatable because she struggles. I don't want her to be perfect—perfect characters are boring, and just like a good story needs tension and conflict to drive the action, good character development needs an arc. It has to 'take a turn' before it gets somewhere. As a character, Carol more than provides.

Like you said, problems arise when people with whom she doesn't resonate keep commenting in a negative way. It fosters a toxic fandom, and perpetuates sexism and ageism. The spinoff isn't about Carol—this season might focus more on her, but as the title tells us, it's not her show and TPTB have been treating the larger TWD pool of viewers as their target demographic. That invites this behavior. The anti-Carol part of the audience sees something they don't want and are vocal about it, in a destructive/abusive way. That could be one reason why AMC hits so hard on the 'best buds' aspect of the messaging.

Part of it is that there's clearly competing agendas in the promotion and a different strategy is employed by the studio/network vs. the non-acting EPs. The relationship among executive producers on a show isn't equal; it's based on function within the production and what kind of deal the individual EP struck with the studio. There's usually a lot of internal politics and jockeying for power going on within ranks. Like any other workplace, I'd imagine. It's competitive (the job market is particularly harsh right now) and from what I can see, these particular EPs are trying to position themselves in a way that ensures their continued livelihood.

The acting EPs are "safe" because they're the face of the franchise, so pay attention to the discrepancies in how they position the characters and plot arcs in comparison to the N/A EPs. Who and what actors hype during the promo circuit is tied to their work environment. From the looks of it, Gimple is trying to make some power moves to ensure his continued relevance to the franchise (which is a whole other ugly discussion—I have plenty of thoughts on that photoshoot at Tribeca lol) and the way in which Norman and Melissa position Zabel when talking about the plot arcs and character development suggests that they're attempting to block Gimple from reaching his goals.

When whatever's going on backstage has settled, one way or another, the audience should see a more cohesive approach to the promotion.

[delistravaganza]

I swear I relate to everything you have written about the enemies to lovers trope and lesbians.

it’s not even about lesbian representation, at least in fandom, of course that’s important but it’s not the point here, it’s about having wlw stories that are as...complex? Messed up? Intricated? as straight or even (in more recent years) mlm romantic storylines are allowed to be. I feel like I am constantly hungry of complicate stories with lesbian or bisexuals female characters involved in messy relationship. But almost every popolar ship that I meet on fandom or tv shows either is watered down, made all soft and sweet and not threatening and so not complicate enough to be appealing. (or in the fews that are not like that in the original media they get made in this way by the fandom- it’s so unnerving). it seems to me that’s it is either “tragic dead lesbian” or “soft sapphic story all is sweet uwu”. As someone who love stories with romance only when the romance is very complicated and not necessarily healthy and full of ambivalent feelings (don’t judge me as you said it’s just a matter of preference ashahaha) I sometimes read slash (mlm) fanfiction on ao3 that feature very complicate and not necessarily healthy dynamics and I go damn I wish that there was a fanfiction exactly like this but with two women instead of two men.

I get this 1000%. To be fair, I don't think it's just the wlw couples being UwUified in recent films and shows, this happens to all queer representation because of the pressure to create "good rep". To some extent, it's even happening with straight pairings because people are more aware now of sexism and what it really means to consent, though everyone still seems to be willing to let this knowledge fly off if teh guy iz HOT.

But there seems to be a particular issue with writing f/f interactions that are manipulative, dark or somehow more adult, not necessarily meaning sex but rather a more nuanced portrayal of the relationship. Whereas all the straight toxic romances went to specific (and thriving) genres such as "dark romance" (which at least seems to be more self-conscious as the Reylo fic I mentioned before), and we get glorious epics of m/m fanfiction stories (and books that feel like fanfiction), it sometimes seems like the women characters are treated as little girls.

Even in a dark, creepy, cannibalistic, adult-oriented show such as Yellowjackets, I found myself more interested in the hypothetical Jackie/Shauna pairing because oh boy that was complex! than in the actual lesbian pairings involving Tai, who is a great and somewhat nuanced character except when it comes to her (sanitized) relationships. Is it really just me favoring problematic and unhealthy dynamics or is there some truth to this? (It may be me.) Is Tai a bit tamed down because she's gay AND black?

Also, to be completely fair, I think that I have more expectations when it comes to wlw plots, maybe because I subconsciously think of them as more "me" than the others. I've read a lot about how women use slash to slip away from the narrative and write more freely, and the fact is - I've read a lot of trash when it comes to m/m. And I definitely don't remember it with the resentment I save for f/f media like First Kill ("you fucking set out to be everything I wanted and turned out to be a pile of dog shit!").

I have also read extremely interesting books featuring f/f dynamics on the latest years, which I could post here instead of whining à la Louis de Pointe du Lac, but the fact is that these books already set out to be a work of literary merit and weren't written to dwell on the romance or possible romance itself. I'm not even counting MBF here as I read it a while back for the first time, but it could be an example - I don't know, but it definitely wasn't written with UwUification in mind. I'm still thrilled at how much the marketing DID and DOES UwUify our girls and their relationship. Sometimes the marketing is like: Wouldn't you just love to have such a special friendship like these two? Uhhh what? No, thank you, I had my share of that shit?!?

Oh, and also - I'm not even sure it comes down to self-identification either. I said I identify with Catradora, but the fact is I don't necessarily identify with either Catra or Adora. I just identified with their feelings, and I felt empathy for them, and I worried and I suffered and I felt frustrated and I so, so, so hungered and feared for their fights and God, you should really check this one out because it's really on the edge between UwU and dark, and I think it's this mixture what made it work in today's world. It seemed to appeal to both parts of me - the one who lowkey wants the positive, young-and-healthy-oriented rep she didn't have as a teen, and the more prevalent one who prefers angst and twisted things. And yes, it's a cartoon. A cartoon did what many real, adult-oriented shows and books couldn't do with me.

But Catradora probably also worked because we, the audience, were purposefully kept in the dark about them, so we got to experience their story as it developed and without any clear expectation as what the end would be (compared to: here's your wlw romance of the day! Ship them! Hope they don't die!), something I'm sure you wouldn't be able to achieve now that all the info is out there.

Anyway, I'm rambling now and already taking too much time off work. But I find this topic fascinating. If anyone else wants to join in the conversation or point me somewhere that isn't Buffy/Faith or Catradora or Villanelle or Nicky/Lorna (YES I STILL SHIP THEM AND WILL ALWAYS DO) or our Neapolitan toxic friends, please do. And as always, nice talking to you. <3

---

P.D.: Here's a long video analysis that I really liked that tackles why "good" LGBT representation is boring (not wlw representation exclusively).

[useless-englandfacts]

A few years back I read that the boards of failing companies often put women and people of colour into key positions, because it was a cheap way of seeming diverse whilst maintaining the status quo idea that white dudes are best in leadership positions (because look how many companies went down after appointing a woman/person of colour as CEO! Just ignore the fact it was teetering anyway.)

And like, I'm not that much of a conspiracy theorist, but I can't help but notice that the Tories, a notoriously racist and sexist party, have also put a fair number of women and POC into prominent roles during their various fuckdowns.

interesting...

though i would also argue the opposite for the tories? having a diverse front bench works in their favour because they can then say "racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, etc. doesn't exist because look! we have a south asian prime minister!" and that reinforces their individualist ethos. there are no systems of oppression, it's down to the individual to get one and forge their own path - with no help from the government. thatcher is the other obvious example of this mindset.

this is more tangential, but there is also a long-standing argument on the (economic) right that in order for capitalism is to truly flourish, we need to get rid of any form of discrimination. or, to put it another way, people should be able to participate in the market and consumption regardless of their race, gender, age, disability status, sexuality, or what have you.

racism, sexism, ageism, etc. acting as barriers to spending s actually bad for the expansion of unfettered capitalism. for example if a company doesn't want to be associated with the lgbt+ community, or if african americans aren't allowed in certain public spaces as was the case during jim crow, that then takes those groups out of the market and restricts capitalism - which, in the minds of most conservatives, is a bad thing.

i know the political reality of this is a lot more complicated because we're adding human beings with all their inconsistencies, biases, and bigotry into the equation, but i'm not going to sit here and write a nuanced 5000 word politics essay with footnotes. hopefully you get the idea anyway.

at any rate it will be interesting (and probably awful!) to see how the conservative party grass roots in particular respond to having a leader who is at once very right-wing but also symbolic of everything they supposedly hate about modern britain.

[mariamariquinha]

Bossa Nova (Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x f!reader) - Four

Three | Five

Summary: Sometimes you hated the workings of your mind; it just didn't compare to how your job works.

Word count: 3.820

Warnings: Bad words, a bit of angst, insecurity, low self esteem, talks about cheating, talks about sexism, slight mention of violence, a pinch of flirting, mention of body parts and... I guess that’s it. 

Author’s Note: YES! It happened! I’m really happy to share, it took me soooo long to write this. 

Oh and I’m adjusting my posts given the new Tumblr’ updates, don’t worry. The light will shine and I’ll be able to be happy again! 

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤

****

Los Angeles had an average population of 3.8 million. With a population growth of 0.7% a year and with one of the worst traffic in the world, you could probably say that coincidences were an improbability. Hardly a high school friend would say that they saw you by chance on the street if you lived in LA.

You liked these stats because they gave you security and a minimal chance of dealing with unpleasant encounters. You grew up around Cali, so a lot of people, a lot of things going on at the same time… it was more advantageous to go after celebrities in West Hollywood or Beverly Hills or on the way out of movie studios. If you wanted it, that is.

But you had to go to the farmers market that day – Fairfax District, it was in your neighborhood, sometimes you took advantage of paying so much for a house there. It was your father's insistence, to go there to buy fruit and, as he said, important food – accepting wasn't that hard, spending time with him was always good.

She was beautiful. A shorter, more streamlined version of Charlize Theron because despite not having the long legs, she had the smile, hair, and gaze of a woman of that caliber. You knew every possible detail about her because you did your research, in a much more difficult time when things were… different. Complicated. Aileen, that was her name. The ‘Aileen’ who traveled to Ireland every year because her family came from there. The ‘Aileen’ who had a perfect Pinterest with pictures of her apartment in Santa Monica and the time she visited a mansion in Bel Air – the only time you did that was in a case of the theft of golden statues of the Grinch. The ‘Aileen’ who turned out to be… her.

She wasn't the type to complain about the size of the kitchen window, probably because people naturally made things easier for her, more optimistic. It was easy to be like that when life privileged her in the right way. You weren’t like this. You complained about that damn window because Theodore never helped you clean the house, and from the beginning he chose a place that size, with that giant window, that he clearly wouldn’t move a finger to maintain.

When you saw her from a distance, you thought it was an illusion, that the sun was too hot and made your mind trick you somehow. It wasn't until the second glance, with narrowed eyes and your attention more focused, that you realized it was Aileen, standing at an organic food stall and looking at the products unpretentiously. It's okay, you thought, she must not even know who you are.

It was very quick, discreet, and you were soon blinking a few times to distract yourself from the sight when your father returned with suggestions for an eggplant lasagna. If you looked a third time, she wouldn't be there anymore, and you could finish shopping without worrying about bumping into the woman.

Still, it was her. Out of 3.8 million people, you ended up seeing Aileen; THE Aileen, who was so much better when she was just a faceless name. Of course she was a delicate, smiling woman, with all her features perfectly traced by God and who didn't get her hair tousled by the wind – as beautiful as in a Dior perfume campaign.

It looked silly. No, it was definitely nonsense. There was no reason to feel anything but indifference.

… Right?

****

It was kind of random, actually, like your mind took you by surprise. A bad habit crawling your skull, your brain, your mind.

First you put on your panties and bra. Black, enough to hold your breasts and keep you comfortable. Functional. You paid attention to what you saw in the reflection – your arms, thighs, belly, cleavage, face. Everything looked normal. Reasonable. You've never been one to go to the gym like crazy, even though you sometimes used your LASD credential for it, and the main reason you lost a little weight was because of the whole diet situation and all. You were healthy (with a bit of a stretch here), some would even say ‘cool’ with that tattoo on your left thigh that made any mom (including yours) freak out because it was so big; this goes from your thigh to your ribs! And what does a dragon mean anyway?

Standing there, post-bath and in your most natural state, you ran your fingers through your hair, then tugged at the skin of your face as if to find something there. Turned around, stared at your ass, then the other tattoo you had on the back of your neck, hidden most of the time. In the process, you slipped your finger on your skin and found a discreet scar on your shoulder blade, left side, that gave you memories of a time that seemed a lifetime ago.

“Theo! Theo, what are we doing?” You were laughing a little breathlessly, your hand sweaty with your fingers locked in Theodore's, who was pulling you down the sidewalk with nimble, quick steps, ready for some partially illegal atrocity.

“Relax, we're almost there. You’ll like it,” His voice whispered, fetching, a reflection of a behavior well out of the way that was part of who he was. Terrible, sagacious, agitated.

You've always liked different things, curiosity would almost eat you up inside, especially for things no one could prove: aliens, ghosts, the Bermuda Triangle, the truth about JFK. Theodore said he liked that about you, it made you unique. That night, you escaped from a birthday party that you had a time to get back from – eleven o'clock. There was an aura of danger and adventure to it all, especially since it was almost midnight and you two should have been home by now. Eighteen years old, these things could happen.

You stopped at a 'haunted' house that was about two blocks away from the party. It was big, your typical horror movie set with dumb protagonists, but you were excited.

With an opening hole in the wire fence surrounding the place, you had to duck through the cut wire, but your clumsiness resulted in a discreet cut. You hissed. Theodore noticed and gently, right there in the weird backyard of that ghastly place, he kissed the bruise, then your cheek, then your mouth.

You got home around two. Your mom just didn't ground you for more than two days because you were packed for Berkeley – not just with your stuff, but with the memory of something you held inside your heart for as much as you could.

You stared at the bedroom door with a deep frown, the tips of yours rubbing with some delicacy against the flesh of your thighs. No, it wasn't right. It shouldn't be like that. Aileen was a fucking ghost for so long and then she… She wasn't even guilty and it was an involuntary feeling; like fingers squeezing your insides, choking, testing one of the few truly authentic things in your life. Her fingers. Theo fingers.

Felt like a fresh cut even though it was all gone so long ago, a scar that opened at the first hint of memory of those terrible times – you even hated Theodore, but you hated more the idea of ​​standing there, in the middle of your own bedroom, with a lump in the throat and reliving a sensation that was hardly allowed to be felt, when more important things were happening.

The guilt, the lack of effort, the questions about where you went wrong when it wasn't really mistakes but choices. No, it really wasn't how it was supposed to be. You should have the resilience you held on to, the wisdom to take every step rationally, to just move on and not treat Aileen like a tormentor – a symbol that aroused your envy because she took something from you.

No, you thought for the third time, rubbing the skin of your face with your palms. She didn't take anything from you. He left. He was wrong. He chose. He made you small in your form as a woman. She… participated. As an accomplice. A partner.

“It’s always about your job! I don’t need a roommate, I need a woman! An accomplice! A partner! How can I find my happiness if you can’t even be the fucking wife you’re supposed to?!”

You clenched your fists tightly and took a deep breath. The thought inevitably made you angry.

****

Conference room. Important manner.

For those new to the Department, Emma's behavior could be classified as 'absent' or 'volatile', much like a divorced father who has left and only appears every two years. She had a broader view of the work, made people more comfortable but never enough to break rules, even if she didn't agree with all of them; she was a progressive. Her parents went to Woodstock and she participated in pro-turtles protests – that was her way.

The email that popped up on your computer just said that. By protocol, there was a 'meeting' written in the subject box, accompanied by a very succinct text: time, place, level of urgency. An economy of words, as if they were too rare to be spent on long informative paragraphs.You liked that about her. Still, with your acquaintance, you knew each other well enough to know that the situation required attention, so you checked your watch so you wouldn't be late; hoping that wasn't a problem related to Travis.

****

It was a problem.

A big one.

Not related to Travis at all.

And to be quite honest, it had been a mistake for you to think that the situation with Walsh would end that day. That's what you said to Emma when you saw the agent sitting next to his supervisor, as well as Lieutenant Brixton from Internal Affairs. It was a replay of what had happened the last time the confrontation between you two got to that point and judging by the way Mathias was serious, the situation fell more on him – this time, at least.

“We have a strict protocol on working together between agencies, especially in cases like the one we're dealing with right now,” Brixton started from his spot at the end of the table. “As the two of you have a history of conflict, I'd like to draw attention to an episode that occurred a few weeks ago and came to my knowledge recently.”

That made you frown at Emma, ​​who just shook her head discreetly – later, she meant.

“The reason for this meeting is to come to an agreement on how to handle the situation going forward. I've heard from agent Walsh's side, it's not my place to correct his behavior but it's my obligation to remind him that we have this integration policy that deserves to be respected, especially with regard to our female employees.”

What your boss didn't say, Brixton took advantage of it and followed the ‘protocol’ bit by bit. This included extensive speeches at the lectures they concocted about sexism in the workplace, for example. It was kind of pointless, things were still happening and you were sure the DEA followed the same bureaucracy and there you were, dealing with Mathias.

“So, agent, why don’t you tell us what happened that day?”

You? Oh, yeah. Right. What happened that day.

You blinked a few times before clearing your throat, looking at Emma, then Walsh and his supervisor. The story slipped out of your mouth easily, at least until the memory of the little confrontation taking place.

“From what it says here, was it your day off?”

“Not exactly,” You shook your head. “I only needed a few hours. Personal issues.”

“Your divorce?”

“... Yes.”

“I'm just asking to verify the situation, I don't want to embarrass you or…”

“That’s okay,” Your answer came as fast as he started his excuses. Brixton nodded, got back to his papers and you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Does Detective O'Brien have the autonomy to request your services?”

“Periodically, yes.”

“And do you know if he ever informed agent Walsh about this addition to the investigation team?”

“No.”

Mathias shifted uncomfortably in his chair, you saw it in your peripheral vision.

“Nick usually asks for her as a matter of professional affinity, they have been working together for some time and this has never interfered with the results of parallel investigations she was working on,” Emma complemented with a certain care, finding the necessity to explain her position.

“We all know detective O'Brien's reputation in this regard but I warn you that it wouldn't be ideal for this to become a habit.”

“I’ll make sure of it,” She said with a nod.

“Now, agent, did the situation with agent Mathias Walsh affect you in any way? Did you feel attacked, perhaps… Morally harassed in some way?”

You had the answer to that question on the tip of your tongue, between the memory of you leaving the scene and that pathetic moment of crying in the bathroom. So you hesitated, pressed your lips together and looked at Mathias again.

“Considerably.”

“How so?”

“I believe that my personal life should not be used as an argument in the situation,” Your eyes were on Brixton again. “And despite our differences, at no point that day did I speak to Agent Walsh or direct any offense towards him. Furthermore, he insinuated that my affinity for Detective O'Brien and his team had a sexual connotation.”

Connotation. Big, big word.

“Do you feel threatened by him?”

“No.” This answer came more assertively.

“Do you think you could continue the work eventually without major problems?”

“For me, yes,” And you increased that 'me', because you wanted to redirect the question to the said Mathias, who was always the main one bothered by everything. “Unless he uses his personal opinions to harass me again. Then no.”

“Right…” Brixton wrote something down in silence and you all waited for him just as quietly. He read a few more things, frowned, then raised his head at you while speaking. “What about detective Magalon?”

You frowned.

“What about him?”

“He witnessed what happened. Was he ever defensive, did he react in any way? Violently?”

It didn't take a genius to put things together, and even your distracted mind was able to understand what the point was; that meeting wouldn't have happened if Benny hadn't been there and if that punch (that had nothing to do with you) had never existed. You almost believed that your well-being would make a difference.

Emma must have noticed this too because she was visibly annoyed.

“No, not at all. Everything he did was exactly as I said.”

“Riiiiight,” He repeated the word, this time saying it while writing more things down.

The conversation didn't go beyond that and after an hour, you were conditioned to see Mathias leaving the building with his supervisor with an impressive number of 0 words for you. Emma stayed behind to chat something with Brixton, so you waited in the hallway for the two of you to be alone and you started asking questions.

“I think we had good impressions today,” She said first, gesturing to the elevator nonchalantly. “But, you know, it’s always about the guys.”

“I noticed.”

“Honestly, I thought this story with Magalon was gossip, but it looks like the repercussions were pretty significant.”

“Do you know what happened between them?”

“They’re men, anything could lead into a fight,” You saw her pressing the call button with a discreet smile. “I thought you had some idea, considering your proximity to them.”

Them being Major Crimes. Huh. That shit again.

“You were the one who told me that I should be careful to maintain a professional relationship with them. Benny never was… Open, I guess. He keeps his distance.”

“It's amazing to know that you listen to me.”

You both entered the elevator, which was fortunately empty. She sighed with a defeated stance, leaning on one of the corners.

“Anyway, I think this served as a warning,” Emma said after a beat of silence and you stared dumbly at her, waiting for an elaboration. “I should have encouraged you to talk to Internal Affairs, not just scolded you. Sometimes I talk so much about female support that I forget I have the power to help in any way and… Well, having to hear that one of Nick's guys took the step was a slap in the face.”

This left you even more confused, if not perplexed.

“... What do you mean?”

“Huh?”

“By Nick’s guys. Who told the Internal Affairs about what happened?”

“Benny did. Just today, Brixton went to talk to Gina, he wanted to know…”

As much as you would have liked to know more details, no other words from her made sense or even entered your ears. You weren't that veteran in the business, but you were sure that Nick's instructions about you extended to everyone on the team. Not that you thought Benny would face any reprisal for what he did to Walsh, but of all the issues that could go through your day, having a meeting like that and still knowing that it was on Magalon's instructions, it was confusing to say the least.

Yeah, confusing. That was quite a word.  

****

“Can we talk?”

It wasn't like every interaction with Benny was an issue, but suddenly you were afraid to bring it up, especially when the said issue was that. With any luck, you had managed to catch up with him before he left for the night and after a whole day of thinking, you decided to give it a try. Henderson was beside him and looked as surprised as his partner. You glanced at the two of them, not wanting to say that you preferred it to be a private conversation, but Benny understood and said he'd meet his friend at the bar – for some reason, you waited for Henderson to disappear from your sight in the parking lot after kissing his cheek goodbye. Just to be sure.

“Are you okay?”

You raised your eyebrows and nodded, adjusting the hem of your shirt that went up with the farewell. Looked like every conversation you’d been having with him started like that.

“Mm-hm. Yeah, I… There’s something I want to ask you, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. What’s up?” He shifted from foot to foot, a bit concerned at your hushed tone.

“Brixton called me to a meeting today, he wanted to talk about what happened with Walsh that day. You know, from the liquor store,” It was a rather useless insinuation, Benny was already expressing recognition when you mentioned Brixton's name.

“Emma told you?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you mad at me?”

The question took you a little by surprise – no, very much by surprise. You'd expect a more heroic reaction, something like 'I did you a favor' or something, but no. Benny looked worried.

“... No! No, I’m not, I mean…”

“I didn’t want to assume, just-”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“You can tell me if you’re mad.”

“I’m not, promise.”

You two stumbled with your words for a moment, both determined to make assurances with phrases being spilled faster than your thoughts, basically. He clapped his mouth shut when you raised your hands to put an end in the babbling, obliging for the sake of giving you the word.

“It just caught me by surprise, like, you didn’t need to. I just thought it was risky for you, given the circumstances.”

“What circumstances?”

And you didn’t know he was teasing you or demanding that you say what was implied in words, but without a shadow of a doubt there was no questioning on the way he asked. You considered not saying anything, just shrugging your shoulders and muttering a 'you know', but Benny shifted on his foot again, patiently waiting.

“You literally punched the guy in the face,” Defeated, your shoulders relaxed while you gesticulated at him. “I’m sure he made it clear to Internal Affairs.”

“He did.”

“As I said.”

“But I don't think it was a risk.”

Like in the lab, you stared at each other for a while, but he decided to break contact first with a pinch to his nose, turning his head to the side with a chuckle. That's when you realized you must have been carrying a grimace during the whole interaction; a frown, mouth partially open not knowing what to say.

“The danger was throwing the punch and this already happened. That day, I saw the way he spoke to you, how hurt you were. I know it's none of my business, and again, I apologize for that, but I should have said something, defended you.”

That shouldn't have made you back down like it did. That just shouldn't. Because it wasn't like he was putting himself in an alpha male position; it sounded more like regret for just not saying something to stop Mathias.

It came from a place of chivalry, you thought, not authority.

“You did enough,” Your voice was steady, even if a little too soft, and a smile played on your lips – maybe the first real one since you woke up. “Thanks.”

“When I said ‘gotcha’ I meant that. No worries here. Besides, this sort of thing is for princes who rescue pretty ladies and I'm really not that kind of guy. I did what I should do.”

“Oh,” You scoffed. “Okay, right.”

“What? Don’t you believe me?”

“Your analogy was interesting, that’s all.”

“An analogy is an example of things,” He twisted his mouth and shook his head. “Consider this a joke. The ones that have a basis of truth.”

“You just don't strike me as the type who aspires to be a prince.”

“But I like helping pretty ladies like they do.”

Once again, that shouldn't have made you back down, but you felt your cheeks burn at the comment he made, not least because he was watching you closely, gauging your reactions. That was subtle, understated, and he didn't move to be invasive in any way. Benny waited.

“I need to go,” He pointed behind his shoulder, already taking a step away. “Before you thank me for that, lemme say your tattoo is really cool. You are really polite, at least save the thanks for someone else.”

Your… Oh. Oh. You absently placed your palm where your shirt had riled up minutes before, right on the top of your tattoo.

Without saying anything, you watched the man walk to his car as if nothing had happened and discreetly raised your hand as he waved his in the distance.

“... Thanks,” Your murmured anyway, Benny already out of the ear sight.

****

No pressure tags

@cheesybadgers

@paintlavillered 

@sexuallover 

@nerdyreaderpapi 

[prolix-principality]

stalwart sun, wily moon - dustnhalos

“Crowley. Go see Mr. Fell. Just...what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right? Trust me on this. I’m asking you to trust me.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28542933/

Good Omens: Crowley, Aziraphale, Warlock, Adam (Young), Pepper, Wensley(dale), Brian, Asmodeus (OC), Beelzebub, Lucille (OC), Gabriel, Dagon, Michael, Sandalphon, Bel/Belphegor (OC), misc characters 40 chapters; 369,724 words. ~ Anthony J. Crowley is a world-class art thief with a complicated past who, until now, had been pretty content with going through life as part of a prolific black market art trafficking ring. He enjoyed the thrill and danger of the hunt, especially if it meant he got to travel the world, play with state-of-the-art technology, and make enough money to afford anything he could ever want.

That is, until a simple logistical hiccup leads him straight into the path of one Aziraphale Fell, former Head Conservator of the British Museum turned antique repair shop owner.

Suddenly, there's a space in Crowley's life that only Aziraphale seems to fill, but his clandestine life of crime paired with Aziraphale's industry connections and indomitable penchant for good seems like a relationship doomed to fail.

Little do they both know, the strands of friendship, morality, and deception in their shared circles of the London art world are interwoven in even more complex ways than either of them could have expected... ~ Warning: illustrated, additional warnings, footnotes, custom formatting, food, alcoholism, sometimes violent bigotry (trans+homophobia/sexism/racism/fatphobia/etc.), graphic violence/blood/injuries, sabotage/manipulation/threats, abuse (family/kids/animals(?)/employees), various extreme traumas, guns/murder/suicide, arson/fire, abduction, drugs (weed, discussion of others), panic attacks, law enforcement, lots of overstepped boundaries, unexpected kiss, brief! excrement/vomit, brief! mention of needles/rimming/body horror/animal sacrifice/(potential) incest, semi-confusing POV swaps, various minor but sometimes confusing inconsistencies and typos

[octobersbookblog]

Flip the Script by Lyla Lee

Genre: Romance Target Age Group: Ages 13-17 Summary: Set in Seoul, Flip the Script is the story of Hana, an up-and-coming teen star of a new K-drama. She navigates crowds of super fans, social media attention, and the sexism of the TV industry. Things get further complicated when she's forced into a fake relationship with the male lead of her show, not to mention the showrunners adding a new girl to the cast to create a dramatic love triangle. Can Hana hold her own on the show while falling for her on-screen rival in real life? Justification:

K-pop and K-dramas are hugely popular trends with teens right now, and I thought a romance in this setting would be a great choice especially for youth that are already fans of Korean media. Evaluation:

Character: The characters of Flip the Script follow some common K-drama tropes that any fan can appreciate, though at times this means that they aren't necessarily as well rounded and complex. Some of the best character moments are when Hana and her co-stars struggle to navigate their own goals, outlooks and identities through more conservative Korean social norms. Overall, characters feel likable but ultimately not terribly nuanced or complex. Plot: The plot is pretty straight forward with few twists or surprises. Regular drama and romance fans will quickly recognize tropes and predict where things are going. I think some added tension or conflict really could have helped this book go from good to great. Setting: The book is set in Seoul, Korea and I really wish there had been more time spent describing the scenery. There were many interesting and exciting locations such as a theme park in the mountains and a busy market, but there were few descriptive moments to give us the feel of actually being there and seeing it. References: Lee, L. (2022). Flip the Script. Katherine Tegen Books.

[benchgenderstudies]

An address of the similarities to Beauty Pageants and use of women as cultural capital.

Opening/

Introduction to Regulating of the Fashion (Model) and Casino/Luxury Industry

By Michael Bench, MEP WGSGC

Exercise Physiology Masters, Gender Anthropologist

Author of Native Supremacy.

In calling for the regulation of the fashion industry and fashion model sizes; there is a freakish pushback by the victims themselves:the models The models still believe they are indebt to a talent agency network. The talent agency has signed them on, sent them to events with a positive initial experience to remember.. and subsequently start charging them outrageous fees. Fees that ultimately keep a model quiet about the unhealthy conditions of the industry. She's mistaken that her earnings are somehow supposed to be diverted to the talent agency instead. The fashion industry borrows a common strategy used by Russian and illegal immigrant sexshops; confiscating their girls' passports and identity until they 'pay off' visa costs and other miscellaneous compounding expenses.

The talent agencies are further bold in their exploitation of the models that they would start sending her to unpaid events while holding substantial debt against her. They would send her to accused rapists and molesters in the photography/marketing industry for it is the photographer that holds the industry bottlenecked no matter what abuse he might choose to visit on his lesser known clients.

Very little research is conducted on measuring fashion model, porn actress, or pageant model intelligence. Definitions of intelligence are hotly debated to rid Science of once accepted credentials of the First World, the Third World and Civilization spheres as they were known to the Early British Empire. I will here address this debate in brevity: the pageant models and runway fashion models are a multiracial collective. Those who have previously experienced lives devoid of privilege tend to reward and guard their modeling experiences with higher levels of positivity than her Anglo coworkers. This does not mean (she) also regards modeling more positively than her coworkers. I propose across the board those with suspicious objective perspectives as underprivileged/oppressed races and ethnicities before new academic challenges will be much better educational prospects in quality learning environments.

In a Google Scholar search, no declared IQ research had been conducted on fashion models. I then searched for pageant model education levels with the same level of results. They appeal to girls working on a bachelors degree or younger. What material I could find revealed that one could not ask a fashion model or pageant model how smart she was. Her answer would reveal a skewed proposition that her model experience was a type of specialized skill This is first a paradox since females only enter pageants as temporary affirmations hoping to build from it. Some want to go to veterinary colleges, others still dont know. They just know they love the attention (Tonn) A Narcissist does love their attention. They make facts bend all around what they want to do.

The model and the abuser share this in common; In order to not sound foolish for justifying global attention at the expense of their health, safety and sans protection from financial crime and perverts.... she avoids admit the industry is a craven fraud scouting out young people to steal their commercial identity profits. Less so in the pageant environment where parents have a watchful eye on their children. In fashion modeling the parents try their hardest to avert their eyes from the quo sexualization of girls as young as ten. Thylane Blondeau's mother was already in modeling and celebrity culture. Its norms skewed her sense a photographer like Tom Ford could instruct her child to assume poses of actual adult erotica in posture and manner. The pictorial was displayed in Vogue.

The first pageants were meant to extend tourist season. Tourist season tends to revolve around hotels and casinos; the only venues large enough to have a pageant. Pageants like Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria(MBGN) have a mission statement to be a competitive event on the global stage. Silverbird, the managing company of MBGN, admits it grooms female contestants in all aspects of the competition (Balogun). The grooming isnt only about the pageant competition but of contestants gender roles and sexual norms for conquest. “They are the virgins of newly found cultural capital”. Predators observe 'fresh (unrefined) meat” for their own; the casino's high rollers.

Mr. Oke, a staff member at Silverbird, commented, “I’m always scared of these girls. They are powerful. That’s why I’m always nice to them. They’re all going to dump their boyfriends after this is over. You’d be surprised, one of them might be the future wife to a minister [head of national ministries]; they might just be the one to make that phone call to make or destroy a deal.” Newly formed relationships with business leaders, celebrities, and politicians were touted as signs of emergence into new elite circles centered on transnational culture and capital to which most contestants would otherwise not have access. ( Balogun)

This quote simultaneously exposes the pageant staff starting the courting process of the upper class and defending the experience as an opportunity. The pageant presents celebrities as the appropriate bachelors to set them back in their traditional roles as housewives. Business executives, actors, and politicians are of the few occupations that can sustain a single earner household. If a pageant is the updraft for young females to bridge their social network with the social elite, then pageants are nothing more than a sterilized abonne meeting area along side the European ballet. Males of the aristocracy would solicit select ballerinas with sexual advances in return for funds to afford her ballet costumes, slippers , makeup ; her career. What makes anorexia such a common place norm in ballet is females of the aristocracy are not allowed in the backstage area of the ballet. Conclusively to shield ballerina mistresses from suspect infidelity with married men, her extreme thinness intends to stop her menstrual period and so too any chance of pregnancy. The waif is an invitation of sexual solicitation and harassment left over from European tradition.

Mr Oke is not the only pageant staff to approach contestants with sexual and relationship comments.Donald Trump is the target of many accusations. One, walking into his Miss America Pageant dressing rooms without concern to the contestants' privacy. Contestants were either naked or topless “ theres a man in here”. Again, intelligence lacks see the narcissistic pervert. Tasha Dixon reported that Trump's pageant staff were encouraging the girls to get Trumps attention.An all too common occurrence in fashion modeling photography sessions. Assistants normalize and enable the sexual/erotica/perversion repertoire of their boss while the models protest or question his professionalism. Male and female fashion models are expected to submit to photographers 'to get ahead in the industry”. This is covered in much better details with names named in the External Motivations of Anorexia Nervosa paper.

Dixon presumed Trump stayed in the pageant business because there was no one that could limit or prosecute his behaviours.(Revesz) On separate occasions Trump would approach 10-14year old girls telling them that he would one day be their boyfriend. (Zimmerman) He was so into himself that he wouldn't hesitate to tell the press he would be his then 16yo daughter's boyfriend too.(Winthall) Pageants/ couture designers feel they are the creator spectacle over models instead of aiding them. Mere contestants seem to require their favors and services to groom them and culture them. Toxic persons can't help temptations to elaborate the model's empty stock worth as a marionette puppets to their sexual lusts. What agencies are not coldly brothels exercise a minimizing collection of exercises.. including severe diets just to keep the models loyal and working for pennies. Alexia Palmer, a model from Jamaica sued Donald Trump's model agency for not finding her enough work and being underpaid. She “felt like a slave”. (Mosk et al) Allegedly dignified contests such as those run by Cory Quorino in the Philippines choose a role as what could be described surrogate philanthropy.”Beauty in Giving” The Models advertise charities and get credit for the sums of money they raise.(Alzaga) this is a clear difference between the two realms. Pageants value women as spokespeople while luxury fashion dismisses its models only by its choice not to advance the gender role of the model to be a brand spokesperson. This is partially out of a selfish spotlight hoarding by the head designer taking a lot too much credit in fear of sewing around curves of whatever plus size statures he feels are label relevant. Haute Couture is selfish of its credit toward the feminine by restricting it from the female.

Haute couture designers of the fashion industry don't register that their homosexual male preferences and recontexting 'phemininity' is not healthy for young women to sustain for themselves. Male and female couture models are said to equally oblige an androgynous look. The female is still required to be smaller than the male in order to be a suitable to simulate heterosexual relations in ads. In a true androgynous circumstance the females would be larger and butcher than the males. If Androgyny was truly nonbinary the females would be fortunately advantaged in muscling her earnings from the corrupt agency system overseen by the Council of Fashion Designers of America (Tom Ford ,president) and the New York Department of Labor. An agency system that wont protect the female employee force from norms of the waif and “Parisian Androgyny” is an agency that injures female consumers. Shaping the young female into a mold of frail vulnerability is the industry's asset of exploitation. Their return to tradition and nod to sexual coercion. A girl cant stand up for herself if her unfit legs snap in ankle breaker heels.

And lets not ignore even if Dolce & Gibbon’ah or Chanel could argue elite athletes are just as small as the runway waifs; same body mass index; their perspective is infantile at best. The elite athlete requires an offseason to recover. Athletics is not a form of health even if it provides some measure of ideal vanity. If a female distance runner chooses not to have an offseason, she does so at the expense of her bone density and emotional health. Both influence race day competition. If a ballet dancer chooses to maintain the same size from age 15 to age 27 , she is malnourished. Sport does not recontext the abuses to the body as 'fair'. Elite ballet is not a functional skillset for the real world. Flexibility can have a posterchild like yoga that doesnt require eating disorders for its practice.

Second, the paper mathematical Body Mass Index (BMI) chart comparing only height to weight is not a clinically relevant definition of body mass index or body composition; AT ALL. It should not be used by general physicians to deduce patient health statements. At the very minimum skin fold measurements and hydrostatic weighing are two representative standards of truly investigating what a persons real lean body mass is. New clinical means of deciding body composition also recruit specialized radiology. The only group that can be easily spotted are the underweight. A female underweight for her size has not adequately resistance trained her body for strength. Without strength her bones become weak without enough tension on the tendon insertions. Without enough muscle built (hypertrophy) her metabolism and immune system are damaged. The normalcy of the waif to females (models) is an abuse of their body whether they sign on for it or not. Ergo they are damaging the public to allow diet and sport supplements to broadly advertise the thin look as an all encompassing good thing. Its not. Disinformation hurts a nation. Eventually it leads to unnecessary antidepressant use; a spectacular racket also assaulting the female American public.

The homosexual male designer relies on his photographers to emphasize his clothes. His imprint on the Waif. .. the cult of personality around Dior and Balenciaga is body modifications (ie piercing,tattoos).. not merely shape. Christian Dior started his fashion fame trying to bring back the waspwaist. Body Modification , not merely body sculpting. Body abuse, not merely the pyramid of haves and havenots. Would an industry profiting on the most rare of female body types of its stars be so cruel numerous times to sexually abuse, verbally abuse, minimize, and ignore her safety? They dont care about the models image for she is a product of misery. Very young models of 14-17 are sent over oceans without any chaperones only knowing if they dont oblige the event or photo session they'll have to buy their own ticket home. They'll be stranded. Embassies should know of every contest involving Americans and make themselves available to the industry workers so they know all their rights.)(The contracts are not legit) .

Surprise limo rentals and clerical/courier fees are sprung on her. Services anyone would presume are complementary are actually extra charges and not optional. That alone is grounds to call on state and federal government to investigate the industry. Agency services operate as such: You order a single gift basket from Harry & David . Harry and David take your credit info and data mine your Facebook account and charge you for and send gift baskets to your whole friend list. This is not a Harry and David practice. All I'm saying is Harry and David's product push is unnecessary while ordering. Unlike the seasonal gift firm the fashion agency health negligence against its staff and its financial dealings are criminal and embezzling.

If the model is raped behind the scenes or dies from dieting the public asks the family and industry, why didnt you say anything? If a model is having all her earnings withheld by her agency the public asks “ Why didnt you report it to IRS or US LABOR?” The very short answer is... the fashion and pageant industry attract unsuitable examples of females who choose fame before substance. The temporary state of that transaction seems as cheap and unbecoming as the credit she must lack to stand against them. The short answer is, the pageant and fashion models are not intelligent, know very little about the business or her rights before she arrives to the business and see the pageant or modeling only as a temporary stepping stone. She should always have a lawyer and first read the contract for conflicts with state and federal law. If pageant contestants find themselves in as ruthless a pit as fashion.. they protect the pageant for short term humiliation for long term benefits of advancement. This also means models enable zero-integrity pageants, designers, and agents to prey on new entrants financially and sexually in their silence. But are they smart? Considering the sizable preparation and expense for a pageant contestant to be touring or out of school, the trueyoung  intelligencia would be at home studying knowing she was preparing for an academic future rather than get-rich/famous-quick scams that only selectively privilege the obedient marionettes of a pageants/genre's grooming.

I should not be misunderstood that any contestant in a beauty pageant represents the lowest of intelligence in the community. They are not all one demographic. Pageants tend to feature the middle class specimens of a society on the presumption they have some cultural capital appreciation and enough education to be spokespeople of the campaign. The middle class are prone to believe they can become the wealthy class in good circumstances. Being middle class is one most important stigmas the pageant models want to overcome.

What would separate this new model from her old middle-class origin?

Feeling they are respected/ envied.

Are a contribution of upward movement for her family(Alzaga)

“The wife should be both parent and supporter”(Wu)

“Goal Oriented, Independent , Committed to Individualism, Assertive (Larsen)

“(According to Williams) In this way women's bodies stand in for and manage difference in a nonthreatening way”(Crawford)

'(About Texas pageants) Big Hair, flashy jewelry, wry wit, shoulder pads, artificial fingernails, confidence, (Mosel-Talavera)

What I found tying most contestants together is the belief public speaking with poise and confidence (as the pageant trained her) is the equivalent of having intelligence. Its not all bad a belief. People are not good at public speaking. Most could tolerate the tasks of directing their child's birthday party, telling a story at a campfire or summarize a prewritten essay. Public speaking before a live TV audience or academics asking to be impressed by 20-40 minutes of supported keynote address is very difficult. It's objectifying but it's objectifying uniformly. The audience hears the word choices, speaking tone, the speakers body undulations, quirks , the moles his neck or chest hair peaking out of his polo shirt. Do his clothes fit well? does his scalp have a full fill of hair? Did he shave? Did he use teeth whiteners? Are his shoes cool? Do he have bow legs? Is his ass firm while he turns around explains the powerpoint graphic? The objectification of the male body is as unspoken of as the females is abundantly. My explanation for objectification and especially censorship of the breasts sits with the immaturity of male based community standards to still sexualize his relationships through his relationship with his mother. Freud didn’t get it. The Male regards the breasts as a service instrument the same way traditional females are called Betty Homemakers. He hasnt grown up even if there’s too damn many missing dish towels balled up in the house corners .. surprisingly holding their pleats and reeking of salt deposits.

Opponents of pageants believe that females are being sexually objectified by the swimsuit contest or the ball gown event or softball questions like “ Are cats soft? Support your answer with three points. ” I feel objectification happens to everyone especially in cases of academic keynote speaking. Simultaneously, there is nothing perverse about sexual evaluation. All good things face defilement and misuse by bad people. The confidence that pageant contestants correctly identify is that they are not victimized by the circumstances and spheres of objectification because they chose the event. They endured the experience because they were prepared to see and evaluate their attention instead of being blindsided. As for the Miss New York pageant contestant exclamation “ Its all so fulfilling. For the first time people were asking me for my ideas. I liked the attention.” Indeed. The attention included in the pageant entry fee,huh? Perhaps pageant contestants don't connect being in front of crowds as a test and more of a 'gathering for their attention. “Its so Pageanty” N.A.R.C.I.S.S.I.S.T.

Observers of pageants rely on the pageants mission statement to validate a so-called finest mix of brains and beauty. The observers and TV audience are the precultured hinterlands pageants hope to save their contestants from. When very young girls are imprinted with pageant themes, they mistake their own dreams of being a beauty queen as a long term event. Pageants and modeling are not a lifelong career. Strike Two: The intelligencia would be working toward a career directly and not be misdirected by shallow endeavors; especially ones with negative reviews, accusations of sexual harassment, and limitations on her speech.

In my Equal Employment Opportunity correspondence to the US Department of Justice during the Obama administration I addressed the problem in the Fashion industry. No real female could be hired because all woman exercising responsibility for their wellbeing would not diet herself to a size she was last at age 14. What females are hired are vulnerable to victimization because they already cast their lots for fame at any cost. The thinness standards in the fashion industry for international models are not a legitimate middle ground for anyone. Androgyny is not a middle ground between male and female when male can parade it as a fetish while females must oblige an abusive tactic to become perpetually young. Perpetually young is what couture is selling retail patrons. Buy our clothes and you will be young too.. Buy our face cream and you too will be ready for our dress. The face cream doesnt stop the aging nor does models diet to flat concave chests for the 'predeveloped' look suppressing the aging process. She's actually aiding deterioration. Is the fashion model smart? No. She's constructively ignorant to become famous.

My EEOE correspondence also relates to the clamp pageants have on women's behaviors and promotion of their personal beliefs. A Miss Michigan candidate was stripped of her title for defending then Vice President Mike Pence on Twitter. A tweet consisting of “ STOP KILLING BLACK PEOPLE!!!” directed at the Vice President caused Kathy Zhu to respond in kind “Did you know the majority of black deaths are caused by other blacks? Fix problems within your own community first before blaming others”.(McClaughlin) If this is a cause to dethrone a current pageant winner then the Miss Michigan pageant should probably spend more time in the interview section vetting the political biases and outburst potential of their contestants. Even if Zhu had promoted disinformation, it would be her lack of composure/delivery that made the tweets sub-beautyqueen-standard. “Dear Sir.Madam, The seriousness and sorrow for Black people's losses also must face their own in-race exploitations among many types of daily criminal victimization. I'd like to talk with you more about it. Sincerely Kathy Zhu. ,Miss Michigan. Tra la la deedah.” There's a difference in delivery here.

Zhu is not the first pageant winner to be stripped of her title and probably not the last. Vanessa Williams was crowned Miss America in 1994. Her title was removed when it was found the African American singer had nude unauthorized photos of her sent to and purchased by Penthouse magazine. The title was given to Miss New Jersey. A scandal like this in the pageant business is unsurprising. Allegations of sexually exploitive photography surround Terry Richardson. The fashion industry claimed Richardson was just being a scapegoat. If he is, that means of rigging pageants are as simple as which photographer the pageant staff send each contestant. The also-rans get sent to the molester so he can create a pool of unfit evidence for the smut mags or tabloids.

Compensatory beliefs motivate some contestants to enter pageants. One respondent said her interest in pageants is she was mocked by her family. She was treated as though not beautiful enough and instead nurtured to be a geek. She was sent to quiz bees instead of pageants(Alzaga) For youth attention has a quicker reward than good grades or college acceptance by her 4th-9th grade peers. Out of frustration she sought out pageants because their marketing supported her affirmations she was as beautiful as she was smart.

A detriMENTAL circumstance when the overly smart become attracted to pageants is they can be excessively competitive to destructive ends. Said destructive ends come of any competition being about narcissism which is not always 'nerds' strong suit in displaying, controlling or suppressing. This could well explain archetypes like the “librarian nymphomaniac.”

“Miss American represents the highest ideals. She is a real combination of beauty, grace, and intelligence, artistic, and refined. She is a type which the American Girl might well emulate”. (Larsen)

In the fashion world, the overly competitive female will choose to race to be the thinnest girl available for ad shoots. “Even if it kills her'. It will. So far its the model forced to take blame for her voluntary choice to be thin. But is it actually voluntary? No. The fashion industry welcomes the girl in the door, starves her down to size to get working (she is the industry while conforming to the industry) and then she is stolen from while in a dizzy state of malnourishment and physical fatigue. Fatigue: 16-20 hour work days without food/breaks so the photographers can snort oodles of cocaine, have a scone and yell at them “ You're not giving me enough!!”. In a month or so , the model is working on 15% of her real earnings holed up in a crusty apartment with either 10 more models or the agent himself as his live-in burlesque show; at best. At worst she might die of starvation a day before or after Elite Models Gerard Marie rapes a live in model next to his own sleeping daughter. And she might not even have the strength to report it let alone fight it off.

Is the pageant model smart? There's no sure answer but she is an opportunist. She an opportunist invited to a cultural framework where she is near or distant to the pageant industry's Caucasian tradition and norms. “I think this is a problem within European society because to make themselves fit, thin, and lean they take lots of medicine and so on which really does no good to the body. “ Said a Nepali resident of Kathmandu. (Crawford) . So without being Secretary of Health and Human Services Azar or US Labor secretary, or a George Washington University Professor in Public Health like David Michaels or a New York State Commissioner of Labor.. a Nepali adult living in a part of the world regarded “backward” finding transparent clothing hard to digest for ad consumption still identified drug related crash dieting and Western themes of thinness unhealthy.

Former US LABOR OIG legal counsel Howard Shapiro could not. He would not adopt the Body Mass Index as a health standard from the CDC/HHS because the 1970s document founding OSHA and NIOSH made no mention of regulation of industry by Body Mass Index. In fact the goal of OSHA is to accept and enforce all and any health standards arising from NIOSH and HHS so that the industry is made safe for all Americans of any status of employment. In the market today Americans are concealed from safety behind walls of contracts (or as nonemployee contractors) instead of employees. Employees privatized and subjected to informal harassment, threat, assault, exploitation and intimidation. This situation is illegal. Americans in any form of employment must be protected from illegal and unhealthy work environments. Former OSHA director Edwin Foulk Jr believed I should be calling the Council of Fashion Designers of America... as if I hadn't considered their lack of regulation wasn't a fit enough reason to ask them to start now. I called the government and the US government protected the ongoing abuse of women under George W Bush.

Another respondent from Nepal is quoted “ To get a good figure [some teenagers] go for starvation, thats anorexia as far as I know. I dont think it should be really promoted actually, yeah. Um if they want a good figure, they should really work hard, they could exercise instead of starving themselves. (Crawford) This Nepali has noticed that the sense of beauty is absent in the results of starvation and when people exercise and develop muscle tone with a healthy relationship with food; they look better. Amazing. So far Nepali peasants have more credible public health policy than the past three US Presidential Administrations, including Obama.

Locals observed the effects of the Kathmandu beauty pageant event in girls from 10-12. Suddenly they were very obsessed with their appearance. In other research about Pageants events in Chinatown, San Francisco and among Latin Americans came to identify some polarizing differences. Larsen raised an observation in the first thirty-five years of Miss America pageants nonwhites were banned from participating. “Latina characters in television and movies are lusty and hot-tempered objects of desire.” In this frame the pageant wants to downplay sexuality as a component of beauty.

“dressmakers modified the design of the Cheong-sam to emphasize the cleavage area, creating the “poured-in look” so high desired. Furthermore, the slit up the side of the dress was increased “to endow the basically simple Cheong-sam with a touch of intrigue..., a tantalizing suggestion about the beauty of its wearer. (Wu) The Chinese American researcher felt that beauty and sexuality are entwined correctly in race -tradition contexts. It seems objectified as the west's definition of beauty invaded the Chinese culture's traditional dress. In my valuation the Latina represents the intimidating female forceful of her will. She's obedience to misogyny. The Chinese female is profiled in western terms no greater than Vietnamese village teens/ preteens some of the US military took indulgence in raping between 1955 and 1975.

Cynthia Gouw investigated the pageant field with the intent to deconstruct and criticize it from a Leftist Feminist Viewpoint. ( Wu) Having entered the pageant as a contestant she remarked “I didnt feel exploited at all. I want to show people I can be very articulate and assertive as opposed to a stereotypical beauty pageant winner.. What I want to represent to the Asian population is that I am very concerned about the community. “One benefit pageant contestants have in events distant from western norms is they are protected by their community's unique priorities and cultural norms. Pageants in Nigeria had abusive staff that heavily enforced classism. If a contestant wasn't walking with the elegance per his commands they would accuse contestants of being mere “market women”. The Queen Nigeria pageant didn’t want their female contestants at all comparable to market women, a slur for rural laborers having stereotypes as 'rough and brash”. (Balogun)

I took a moment to type in “brash” to the Google search engine to see what definition it would offer.

Brash

self-assertive in a rude, noisy, or overbearing way.

“he could be brash, cocky and arrogant”,

Strange, the pageant believes it is helping young Nigerian girls to be empowered but suppressing and denouncing parts of the Nigerian culture that are already assertive. In the west we tend to understand this brash concept as 'a ratchet bitch” of low class. In the pageant's sense of empowerment , the female is empowered to simply be a better mate but kept from being so confident and wordsmithed that she could tell off a guy in terms on an even turf of vulgarity, insult, belittling, aggression and verbal abuse.

Chaperones affiliated to the Queen Nigeria pageant remarked of contestants”Each year she comes back cleaner and cleaner”. The comment was investigated for its inner meaning. “ Each time (contestant) returns to audition her skin looks fairer” and was to mean a physical change in the condition of the contestants skin from makeup treatments. (Balogun) Balogun found other research suggesting that this skin change was also a lightening to improve chances of upward mobility. I reference this quote especially because it is an absolute parallel to the arrogance haute couture designers and runway specialized model agencies have in objectifying their models as a property of creation rather than the individual within of blood, bone, estrogen and diet coke. Maybe the fashion model has never been an individual and why all the reason more she chases having a meaningful identity. She takes the pageants brand, is milked for her camera appeal, moos a few times for the question/answer bit and heads off to slaughter as an aged and spent heifer short of the aristocrats desires. The fashion industry has value because it attracted contestants in magazines and television to make it a goal in their lives; A superfluous goal too often.

The female icons in magazines like Vogue must then be empowering too. Said of a magazine with Emma Watson on the cover:”Like in Neon you have some inspiring series . But when I look through women's magazines I dont have a role model for my life (Informant A). (Put) Ellen Put's research on womens magazines revealed some other criticisms about the periodicals. Informants regarded them “flat and uninspiring”, “it was bullshit”, “it was boring when they say this is all about makeup and what to buy..”, “sometimes I read it just for fun just wondering what they are saying”, “Men are always dark, taller, though” . Ellen Put's article revealing these views was titled “ They Think We're Stupid”. We can dovetail the pageant social effects on Nepali teens, the magazine reactions, the whitening and sterilizing of the ethnicity from Ethnic specific beauty pageants and reveal a tame appealing factory of creating the ideal woman out of real women's dreams and then normalizing the ideal woman as a public health nightmare. By creating an international norm among pageants and modeling, the luxury market announces it is deaf to the anthropological heritage, biome, diet and geography that appreciates and carved out natural beauty of each continent's peoples and subgroups. There is no similar basis of lifestyle to normalize a common shape. Ever. The commonality is as the pageants product of “Female in a Can” nested on shelf among all other pageant's new talent.

What can be shown here is if the ideal female of poise and elegant, confident public address can also be trained to be shallow then she will be an ideal elite mate to be whisked away by a dominating male , possibly of a dark complexion. What could a dark complexion signal if the ideals of beauty are Caucasian-Western centric? Perhaps the fashion media have found a new way to wear Black face. I'd say they signal to ladies their obligation to the marketed Caucasian gender role rewards them with an ideal males lust and African Americans large..Luh-arge penis stereotypes. A proper pageant contestant, such as those in Nigeria, and frequenters of upperclass cultural norms are required to retire secondhand and counterfeit clothing/accessories that flood the market. Only authentic (Nigerian) couture is allowed while they are representing the pageant as winner or groomed contestant. (Balogun)

Winners of the Nepal Pageant were not allowed to marry for one year , the year representing the pageant in Miss World and at events ( Alzaga). For a pageant that allegedly“empowers women”, taking away her right to relationship seems a premium failure in respect of their freedom. (Crawford) A premium failure by contestants to oblige as well. Standards in Texas pageants also had stipulations against marriages, against having children, tolerance for annulments and further expectation that the contestants would be in high school.(Mosel-Talavera) Not all requirements related to the same pageant.

One author was also a Texas ex pageant model. She recounted her experience,.

“I am standing on stage in my highschool auditorium wearing the most expensive dress I have ever bought from Foleys, waiting for the announcer to call my name. Everyone told me I was a shoo-in to win the title. I was not even nervous as she called out the runners-up, still thinking my name would be next. “ And the winner is … What? Not Me?” Texas is also known for its biased education dept materials, being an origin of many christianity inspired sex cults and race supremacist camps. For a female to believe her high school preparation is the best source for speaking in any form to the intelligence of all women, especially here, is bald faced mockery.

A highschooler of a single mother saw pageants as a means to get money for college. Through her experience contacting attorneys and other professionals for sponsorships, building a website, and being visible to the public she was contacted by teachers to speak to their classes about her experience. “Emma” as the article infers her name.. said

“ Now I work for two different attorneys. I didn’t expect that you know. All kinds of things people messaged me about my platform and how they feel about my on-stage question, my website got a lot of people to notice it. So, I had teachers that went and saw my website and messaged me about coming and speaking to their classes and like I wish I knew all this stuff going into it. It was like I really set a foundation for myself for next year I think. It’s pretty cool. And I know that sounds cheesy or cliché but

it is honestly the truth and basically pushing myself because once I found

myself around other females who were just as ambitious as I was or as I am.” (Bowers)

The concept these females are experiencing is known as habitus. By meeting other contestants who have found meaning in pageants they too have a common vocabulary and ladder of goals neatly set before them. For women who feel baffled and smothered under the weight and anxiety of being objectified, pageants do have experiential benefits along with the potential among bad actors to be experientially sexually assaulted. That a female knows and can identify a ladder of goals may be a model of education that can be implemented elsewhere and more productively. If pageants have a credible impact on a females life, that impact is offset so severely with removing ethnic markings and norms. The pageants really just brand their contestants for events further up the hierarchy like Miss World, Miss Universe, Miss Infinity and beyond.

What I've concluded from these readings is that pageants reward the Grant Cardone proverb “ Best Known Beats Best”. A former pageant contestant working for an attorney makes the legal field seem beautiful. Wealth and fame is not just wealth , its vanity. If the lifestyles of the wealthy were papered over with ugly people, nobody would want it. Why is a good speaking 'broad' an appealing take for the Hollywood and Vegas bruno's? They need a good girl who'll manage a maid to clean the house good, sound intelligent in public, have some loyalty to criminal organizations, and announce her husbands name for all sorts of functions, awards and novelties her pride can glow alongside. Meanwhile the crowd can either respect her poise or be among the low classes remaining low class regarding the guest of honor's subtle associate. ' yeah , I'm banging her”. Perhaps its more the audience needing poise. Donald Trumps association with First Lady Melania spoke clearly of his personal codependence on her first as a White House nude centerfold. How pageants are accepted in a community is an age, state , local and national chaos of sexual maturity imbalances and education gaps.

On another angle I have captured the subtext of the pageants brand. Pageants are a measure of the females acquisition of themes from the community that are specifically dedicated to making her a good mother. “Critics from the political right, on the other hand, tend to focus on what they view as a loss of women’s purity, submissiveness, and modesty, virtues identified with nationalistic representations of ‘traditional’ cultures”(Crawford) The conservatives have made a complaint about their own side far behind the lines of rhetoric. The female is still submissive with shallow appreciations of her luxury stake. She is surely kept modest with abusive manners training and remaining under the thumb of pageant officials or talent agents for the remainder of her career. The rhetoric doesn't match the reality. Conservatives conceal that norms of oppression are not absent from the gender roles of rich couples either For each class a different type of submissive female for tradition.

Pageant and fashion event locations are hand in hand with the promotion of luxury and recreational items like sports cars, wine, cigars, yachts, boxing/mma fights, These items are considered to have high cultural capital relative to the western world. Wealth is often presumed to have high cultural capital.. Wealth is also presumed to have privileges.. like raping a girl and then threatening to humiliate her with a tabloid smear and a legal battle she couldn’t afford. Ask NFL lawyers what services their players require when police reports surface. Wealth has such cultural capital that the justice system allows criminals out of lockup based on their word to return to trial. The pageant is an advertisement of women inviting them to feel impressed by their changes when the most extensive modifications are still very above her awareness.

The only advantage a female has from the pageant developed microphone skill is to be free to say whatever wise viewpoint elevates her credibility and by whatever lengths she finds necessary to bring down anyone else.. Her voice of empowerment must be on her own terms and not under anyone elses by contract, marriage prenup or otherwise. Well, as long as she's making good decisions and prioritizing the public health ahead of her own vanity and fame. If she chooses to trade even the smallest of her rights of federally guaranteed self protection and safety then she has traded the entirety of her dignity and her own respect of being a female.

Citations

Alzaga R J B (2015. June) The Lucky One: A Constructivist Study on Pageant Women's Conceptualization of Empowerment. University of Philippines Manila.

Balogun O M Gender & SOCIETY, Vol. 26 No. 3, June 2012 357-381

Bowers E(2016) Social Stereotyping and Self-Esteem of Miss America Pageant Contestants. Walden University. Thesis

Crawford M, Khati D, Regmi A (2008.Feb)Globalizing Beauty:Attitudes Toward Beauty Pageants Among Nepali Women. Feminism & Psychology.xx

Fredrickson, B.L., Roberts, T. (1997). Objectification Theory. Psychology of Women Quarterly.,

U.S.A.

Larsen D (2011-2012.Winter Spring) Miss America Beauty Pageant. pg31-33

Concientización: A Journal of Chicano & Latino Experience and Thought Vol 7 (1 & 2)

Matthews, Brook. (2003). Miss America Contestants and the Self: Evidence for Empowerment. Ronai,

C.R., Zsembik, B., Feagin, J. (1997) Everyday Sexism in the Third Millenium.

Routledge, U.S.A

McLaughlin EC (2019.Jul 22) Ex-Miss Michigan says pageant dethroned her for conservative views.CNN

Mosel-Talavera KM(2006)Growing Up Female In Texas:The Importance of Beauty Pageants In Texas Communities.A Woman's Touch Folklore Kenneth L Untiedt. University of North Texas Press

Mosk M, Ross B, Kreider R(2016.Mar 10)Trump Model: Felt Like 'Slave' Working for Donald's Agency.

ABC News

.

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-model-felt-slave-working-donalds-agency/story?id=37313993

Put E(2017)”They Think We're Stupid”. Jonkoping University.Thesis

Revesz R(2016.Oct12)Donald Trump boasted about meeting semi-naked teenagers in beauty pageants.IndependentUK,https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-former-miss-arizona-tasha-dixon-naked-undressed-backstage-howard-stern-a7357866.html

Tonn M B(2003)Miss America Contesters and Contestants: Discourse About Social “Also-Rans”Rhetoric & Public Affairs6, no. 1 (2003): 150-60. doi:10.1353/rap.2003.0037.

Withnall A(2016.Oct 10)Donald Trump's unsettling record of comments about his daughter Ivanka.IndependentUK

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-ivanka-trump-creepiest-most-unsettling-comments-roundup-a7353876.html

Wu J T-C (1997.Autumn) "Loveliest Daughter of Our Ancient Cathay!": Representations of Ethnic and Gender Identity in the Miss Chinatown U.S.A. Beauty Pageant. Journal of Social History, Vol. 31, No. 1, , pp. 5-31

Zimmerman N (2016.Oct 13) Trump told 14-year-old girl he'd be dating her soon. The Hill. https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/300928-trump-told-14-year-old-girl-hell-be-dating-her-soon

[jageunyeoujari]

It is arguably true that the manufacturing system of the S.M. Entertainment has globalized Girls’ Generation performances. The members are trained in foreign languages (English, Japanese, and Chinese, etc.) to be able to release their songs overseas. Since language is one of the most important processes of cultural and social assimilation and identity formation, the group’s fluency in English “makes it feel less ‘foreign’ to [Americans]” when performing in the United States. Such globalization refers to any product intended for the global market, but is carefully customized to suit each local context. As described here, Girls’ Generation localizes their performances by modifying lyrics and performing in the hyper-girlish–feminine style. The local Korean context is already globalized and hybridized as the local/global boundaries become more fluid. Thus, when K-pop globalizes its product and style, it transgresses the local/global and indigenousness/Western binary. Similarly, as womanhood has historically been haunted by white womanhood (white, heterosexual, upper class, and slim), the gendered and racialized bodies of Girls’ Generation are probably viewed as a postcolonial mimicry well haunted by the concept of white womanhood. Yet, Girls’ Generation neither solely represents white womanhood nor oriental women in its representation of race, gender, and sexuality. The hybridity of K-pop reveals “re/adaptation, re/indigenization, and re/formation of the global cultural hegemony.” 

[...] The stereotype of an Orient woman has been perpetuated in the mainstream US media in which an Asian female often takes on the role of a sexual, exotic, and subservient subject. Orient female dancers are triply marginalized in the West, not only because of the implicit sexual degradation directed toward dance, but also because of the Oriental sexual fantasies that portray them as “prostitutes, whores, bar girls, [and] strippers.” This interconnectedness of race, gender, and class seems to be based on a Western-centered white/nonwhite dichotomy. Within this rigid representation system, one is less likely to read of or sense any fluid race and gender performance that rests outside this paradigm. 

Girls’ Generation creates a performance that cannot be read within this Western-centered racial paradigm. They are gendered in hyper girlish–feminine ways by localizing their femininity and masculinizing Korean men in the Korean context. However, they are not racialized enough and thereby less sexualized in the West in terms of their performing persona, body types, and racial traits. First, that persona opposes the hypersexualized Oriental woman stereotype in the United States. “The Boys” creates a graceful performance through ballet movements, Victorian-style costumes, and haughty facial expressions that do not smile, which Foster calls an “elegant spectacle.” Girls’ Generation’s elegant and chaste persona differs from the stereotypically racialized exotic Otherness that is the hypersexualized Asian female figures found in US pop culture. Moreover, although people of color are often conflated as being in a stigmatized lower class, Girls’ Generation’s extremely slim bodies connote instead an upward mobility. In Western society, fatness is often stigmatized compared to the idealized young, thin, and slim body. Many viewers on YouTube and Yahoo! are jealous of Girls’ Generation’s slim bodies and ask how they can get such slim legs. In the gaze of a Western audience, the thin bodies of Girls’ Generation likely fit the “hegemony of the fat-free body” that denotes a sign of the upper class. Their fat-free bodies potentially reject the racial triangulation found in the West that, as proposed by Claire Jean Kim, always relegates Asians to an inferior position to whites.

The Politics of the Dancing Body: Racialized and Gendered Femininity in K-pop by  Chuyun Oh

[ecileh]

i’m personally so tired of both the bland good girl savior heroine and it makes me so sad when readers expect every heroine to be her. tbh i think the good girl savior heroine so popular especially in fantasy romance because the goal is to make the heroine as good and one-note as possible so the reader can self-insert without introspection. feyre, bella in twilight, laia in an ember in the ashes (though she gets better toward the end), i would even argue poppy of fbaa fits this bill because her personality is pretty simple and her only desires are her man and saving the world or whatever.

i don’t think there’s anything *wrong* with this, and these books can still be good!!! there’s a reason why the good girl trope is so popular.

however it concerns me that so many of the most popular fantasy books come down to the punchline of “women should sacrifice everything for their man”.

and what upsets me is whenever there’s a book in this genre that features a more complicated heroine, everyone bashes it. i see a lot more hate for nesta, aelin, i’m currently reading furyborn and almost every time i bring it up people say they HATED it because one of the MCs toes the line between heroine and villain (even though the book tells you upfront there’s two MCs and one will destroy the world and one will remake it, and even though the first scenes show both of them as pretty dark characters, you don’t know which is which because it’s ultimately really complicated! like there’s absolutely no way you went into that book expecting to read about savior good girls, so i feel like everyone missed the point…)

another thought i was having about this is that YA readers expect heroines to be all good all the time, but adult books are rarely like that. so when a woman author with a woman protagonist gets dumped into YA or even NA (like furyborn or ACOSF) because of publishing industry sexism, readers are bothered that it’s not the perfect morality they’re used to and have come to expect.

and it seems like it’s because so many readers i interact with, even adult readers, just really want an uncomplicated, nearly perfect good girl heroine who puts her man first, saving the world a distant second, and herself dead last. and it bums me out because not only is it so much harder to find books with more complex heroines as a reader, as a writer i also am afraid there’s no market for the books i’m working on because i don’t want to write about good girls vs super evil, i want to write about complicated worlds where there are no clear lines and people deserve love anyway.

[amorevolousfaith]

Chapter 14 : Hostages

Pairing: Din (Mando) Djarin X Reader

Rating: 18+ (MINORS BEGONE!)

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Cannon violence, decapitation, adult language, mentions of kidnapping, Proselytism, Chaotic energy, lots of sexual tension, smut, sexism, consumption of alcohol, talks of polyamory, talks of drugging, fucked traditions, allusions to smut.

Summary: You and the Mandalorian have a complicated history and your future just seems to get more complicated as you go along. No thanks to the strange alien baby you both ended up co-parenting.

I shuffle along the limited market, finally finding new clothes so I don’t have to wear Din’s all the time, not that he minds I’m sure or notices half the time. I bought some more food for us and the kid, some medical supplies too, and some well needed adult drinks for when the kid finally goes to sleep. However, on the way back mattress padding caught my eye. It’s rolled up like a rug and judging from the size I’m sure it’ll fit the cabin cot, I don’t hesitate to make the purchase, even if it makes a dent in the credits, I have on me it’s well worth it. I tug it all the way back to the hanger, Peli looks shocked at what I drag in but she’s more than happy to help me push it into the crest. The padding is a bit bigger than I expected when I unroll it, but nothing some adjusting couldn’t do to leave us with a cabin wide bed. Surely this will be much more comfortable than the tight unpadded cot.

Mando doesn’t make it back before dark, but bounty hunting is a complicated profession. Even Mando can’t bring back a quarry in just a few hours of receiving a job. Me and the kid fall asleep in the razor crest, on top of the new bedding. The next morning is just like the previous day, the kid pulling on my hair to wake me up to feed him. However, today I went through the trouble of making us proper food, pulling out the portable single eye stove and cooking some eggs with the kid propped up on my hip with his wooden ring in his mouth to keep him drooling all over the food I was making. I even invite Peli in to eat when she shows up for work. As the day drags on, I help out Peli a little, do small chores here and there, after making sure the kid stays out of trouble.

It’s only right around lunch time when I’m making myself and the kid something to eat when the young male from before comes charging in, blaster aimed right at me before I can move to grab my blades. Peli drops the tool she had in her hand in shock, “If anyone moves the pretty lady gets shot,” He threatens. “Hey easy kid,” Peli tries to soothe, “I’m not a kid.” He hisses, thrusting his gun in my direction. The child in my arms squeals drawing his attention away from Peli to us, “You, up on the ship.” He grunts nodding his head. Peli does what he says and walks up the ramp to where I am, the male follows her up keeping us both in the shooting range.

“Huh, so this Mando’s dig?” He muses, “And what? You're his girlfriend or something?” he mocks. “Wife actually,” Peli corrects, I withhold an exasperated sigh, “So then you two playhouse together with the kid?” He laughs pointing to the baby. I grind my teeth down, I hate how so right he is, how me and Din dance around each other playing this twisted game of house. “How did an old man like Mando land such a babe like you?” The guy questions in a doubtful hum, “Beware of old men in a profession where men usually die young.” I warn with an underlying threat.

“Tell you what babe,” He all but sneers, I hold back a growl as he props himself up on a crate, “We can playhouse if it’ll make you feel better. You can be my pretty little wife, that can be our kid, and her—” He pauses looking over at Peli, “Well she can be Nana or something.” He snorts. “Why you—” Peli starts but I slowly push my hand up, careful not to get shot as I try to stop her from agitating him any further. “Great!” he quips with a smirk kicking up his feet, “How about you give nana the kid and you can make me a sandwich.” He orders.

An angry boil simmers in my chest as I do what he says, gently taking the child over to Peli before making the cocky brat his sandwich. There’s a small hope that he’ll choke on it, unfortunately he doesn’t. His sick game continues from there, playing with us like we’re dolls. I’m just glad he stupid enough not to recall all the out-of-date stereotypical duties of a wife. Now THAT would have gotten ugly. The sunsets again and dark falls over us, I’m tired from playing housewife, the kid isn’t too happy either, and Peli is furious. I jump, hearing the droids' bustle around the hanger, drawing the male’s attention just long enough for me to slip my blades under my cloak from where I have been slowly nudging them for the last six hours. “Looks like he’s here,” He muses, “You, nana, hand me the kid.” He grunts, Peli looks over to me and I nod slowly. Peli gently hands the kid over to him, “Both of you front and center,” He orders, Peli and I follow the command placing ourselves in front of his blaster.

“Took you long enough Mando,” The male calls, pushing us down off the ramp as Din comes into sight. I watch Din freeze at the sight of us at gunpoint and the child in the arms of someone dangerous. “Looks like I’m calling the shots now huh, partner? Have been for a while actually, got to play house with these three, see why you like it so much.” He babbles, I hold in a curse when I see Mando’s body flare in anger. “Drop your blaster and raise’em.” He orders, Mando doesn’t move, I swallow hard. I tap my foot three times, “Do as he says Mando.” I call gently masking the code I just relayed to him. “Yeah Mando, listen to your pretty wife, I really don’t want to ruin her face with my blaster.” He mocks. Din chucks his blaster down before raising his hands above his head.

“Cuff him,” The male orders Peli nudging the pair of cuffs he’d given her when she handed the kid off to him. The fucker behind me keeps his blaster pointed at my head as Peli does what he says, I curse the gods above that if it wasn’t for the fact the kid was in his arms I would just turn and sink my blades into him. “You and your wife are a guild traitors Mando, and I’m willing to bet that this here is the target you helped escape.” He calls, I close my eyes listening to the child babble mindlessly, since it’s the only sign telling me he hasn’t been harmed. “Fennec was right, bringing you in wouldn’t make me a member of the guild, it would make me legendary.” He croons, I watch Mando carefully.

Only for my eyes to go wide when I hear three taps, not from Mando but from Peli. Regardless I sink my hands behind my back before tapping my foot twice, as soon as I do a flash goes off, I turn swinging both blades out. Slicing violently, in the exact spot of the male’s neck, a spot I burned into my memory by imagining myself splitting it open for hours on end as I played housewife. Blood splatters across my face but I don’t find myself to care as I let the blades fly from hands in favor of diving towards the cry of my child. I manage to grab hold of a familiar body before I hit the ground, grunting as I land on my side with stitches, but they’re mostly healed by now, so I don’t think hard on it.

“Páiste?” I whisper, the child coos giggling with squinted eyes and a gummy smile, “You enjoyed that far too much.” I grunt letting my head fall back against the ground. “(Y/N)!” Mando’s voice calls, I let out a loud groan to notify him I am in fact, still alive. “Is he alright? Is the Ad’ika alright?” He questions hurriedly as he turns the corner to find me laying on the ground. “Far too alright in my opinion, he enjoyed this far too much. I blame you,” I huff as Din leans down to help me up. “Me?” He grunts looking down on the green baby in my arms, “Yes you! We can’t go anywhere without you becoming a public menace and now he enjoys the thrill of being held hostage!” I huff. “Say’s the one that just decapitated a man,” He grumbles, “He had it coming, I was picturing myself doing for so many hours it just became a natural reaction.” I sigh out, “Whatever you say Cyare.” He chuckles, I let out a huff only keeping my mouth shut because he used that soft word.

“Is the little guy okay?” Peli questions, “Yep,” I grin walking over to her. “Here let me take him so you get all that blood off your face.” She offers eagerly, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you're trying to steal him.” I laugh, “After what I just witnessed you do, I’d never.” she snorts handing me a rag as I hand her the child. Mando walk over and gently hands over a bag, “will this cover us?” He questions, “Yeah…about that.” I mumble. Mando turns his head to me, “I actually paid her two days ago, you forget I have my own stash of credits from when we went on jobs together. Credits I never got to use or didn’t, because you were always so hellbent about taking care of everything yourself.” I tease, wiping the last of the blood off. Peli trades back with me, taking the rag as I take the child.

“You're telling me I went on a job with a moron and put you two in danger for nothing?” He growls, “If I knew it was going to lead up to this, I would have stopped you, I figured you could use the time out you know? Go on a job and blow off some steam so you don't get stir crazy on us.” I sigh. Mando let out a very long, very deep sigh. “On the bright side, I got some supplies, and we have a new bed!” I chirp, “Really?” He chuckles, “Yep! The kid and I tested it and everything.” I grin. Din let out a hum glancing over my head to see Peli instructing the droids to drag the head and body to a place called begger’s canon, a fitting place for that fucker. “I’ll believe it’s good when WE test it out,” He mumbles quietly, tilting his head and looming over me. Heat flares over my body as I glare at him, “I have a child in my arms,” I hiss, “You don’t have a clue what I’m saying do you Ad’ika?” He questions the child. Said child lets out a small ‘eh’ and tilts his head, “See,” Din quips smugly, “Let’s just get out of here,” I grumble. I think the adrenaline got to his head.

<---- Prev // masterlist // Next ---->

[queenlilith43]

The Eldest Curses

So we know of the eldest curses. We know they are the oldest child of a Prince of Hell. But what do they do? What powers do they hold? And how far do they have to fall?

In this post I'll go over some theories and all the information we know about them, confirmed eldest curses, and their respective parents.

I'm sorry if my hate for Asmodeus comes out, but as my friend @patalliumapples said, "You hate Asmodeus so much and it’s so funny to me. Like I hate him too but it seems like he personally murdered your family and it’s so funny."

Tags: @apple-bottom-jeansx @the-blackdale @murderbabies @unorganisedbookshelf @revati3008 @patalliumapples @tenacioushubb @hardlymatters @pjo-tsc-trc-otherthingstoo if you gave me a theory idea you'll be tagged later in the post.

What We Know

Eldest curses are the oldest children of any given Prince of Hell at a moment. So if a Prince of Hell has seven kids alive, the oldest one will be his eldest curse. However, this is unlikely, because they die easily. The magic is too much for them to handle.

There are two confirmed eldest curses living right now: Magnus Bane and Tessa Gray.

Magnus Bane

Age: Anywhere between 380-400 years old

Parent: Asmodeus

Powers: He's very powerful, but any specific powers based on his demon parent? Not really. Unless you count sexy as a power.

Contact with Demon Parent: Magnus has met Asmodeus several times. He summoned him when he was very young, and the regretted it. Then there was the Crimson Hand, his little demon-worshipping cult. Magnus ran into Asmodeus again in The Red Scrolls of Magic and City of Heavenly Fire, but hasn't been under his sway . . . Yet.

Tessa Gray

Age: 147-ish, born in 1862

Parent: Belial

Powers: Tessa, being half Shadowhunter, is special. She doesn't have many regular warlock powers, but she can shapeshift into anyone she likes. However, after absorbing the power of the angel Ithuriel, it's harder for her to change. It's also not a good idea for her to shapeshift when she's pregnant, as found out in Ghosts of the Shadow Market.

Contact with Demon Parent: She has not talked with Belial. Her children, James and Lucie, have had contact several times throughout the Last Hours, but she herself has not talked to Belial. Belial did consider possessing her, but between Ithuriel protecting her and his sexism, it's unlikely.

The Other Stuff

Eldest curses are supposed to be powerful. They're literally demon royalty, and Magnus and Tessa's uncle is Lucifer. Just think on that.

So I'm just gonna talk about some stuff Asmodeus brought up in The Red Scrolls of Magic. I was going to analyze some quotes but it just was taking me too long and I was getting too angry at Asmodeus. My solution is to just do a brief summary of what he said.

Eldest curses have some powers. We don't what, but I can gather they were made to rule. (On iron thrones as Asmodeus said, which is very specific)

And Asmodeus sure loves his. Why? Because he's a manipulative son of a bitch that's why. (The hate is strong right now.)

Asmodeus has had a lot of kids, because he's the demon of lust, but Magnus is very powerful. He's strong, and Asmodeus wants to mess with him to take control of him.

And now onto the theories!

Theories

And the crackpot clowning starts here.

@the-blackdale came up with the theory that some ✨ necromancy ✨ will be in order and Magnus dies at some point, but comes back to life in TBVOTD.

@murderbabies suggested that to summon Lucifer needs blood to be summoned. Blood of an eldest curse, most likely, because we know warlock blood has some powers. I really don't think it would rivers of blood, but enough to draw a small sigil. (As we know from Chain of Iron all the Princes have a sigil that might be used to summon them.)

@patalliumapples and I have the headcanon Raynor is actually Sammael's son, but it's unlikely to actually be canon. Still, a nice thought.

I think Aldous Nix, the warlock from The Bane Chronicles who making a Portal to Pandemonium, is an eldest curse. Maybe Belphegor. He is dead now, but before that, he was at least 1000 years old. That was before Sammael did his little Incursion thing, and that means there had to be a very powerful demon to get to the surface to be his father. So possibly an eldest curse.

Basically assume every warlock is an eldest curse unless confirmed otherwise.

So combining the two theories from @the-blackdale and @murderbabies is that maybe the death or at least one eldest curse would be needed to get Luci back into this world. They paint a sigil with that blood, and bring Lucifer in through it. Not sure when necromancy would be in order, but maybe Asmodeus would bring his son back to show him what they had done.

@revati3008 brought up that maybe Max is an eldest curse who was placed strategically so Magnus would adopt him. And who did this? Asmodeus. Because he wanted to manipulate his child.

Just imagine that. Asmodeus holding the knowledge of their child's parentage over Magnus and Alec's heads. Sounds like something he would do. This would also be even more causally cruel if Max is an eldest curse, because most of those die under the weight of their own power.

But that's super-likely because of a vision Magnus had in TLBOW and also based solely on vibes.

And then the good ol' key theory. @tenacioushubb is the mastermind of this one.

The core idea of this theory is that the eldest curses are analogous to keys. And these keys are needed to unchain Lucifer from a prison. This theory does require Luci to be chained up, but this could explain why demons are coming from Pandemonium in the first place. Lucifer being chained up (probably in Pandemonium) would be the source of all the demon energy. Him coming to our world would be the "wicked powers" aspect of that series.

Also, as @patalliumapples pointed out to me, maybe this how Asmodeus is going to use Magnus. Though this stems from something I noticed before, and ties into something I call the "Castle Theory" which is legit just based off some lyrics from Halsey's Castle.

Sit down and grab some popcorn this one's complicated and very crack pot.

So here are the lyrics that inspired me:

I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne

That's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They've got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne

That's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle

I've said before this song has the same vibes as Clary going into Edom to rescue Jocelyn and the others. This will come up later.

Focusing on Magnus-he already was going to be made to be a king. In one of his dreams in TLBOW, Magnus dreamt of ruling a ruined world. Those chains on his arms from the thorn were there, too.

In The Red Scrolls of Magic while Asmodeus was info-dumping on us, he mentioned the eldest curses were "meant for thrones of iron." Which was so random. Why specify iron? We all know it's deadly to faeries, what does he want?

So I looked up what iron is supposed to do in the Shadowhunters Codex because I didn't know if there was anything else it did. Whelp, turns out a nickel-iron alloy called meteoric iron (normally found in meteors) is a good magic conductor, along with most iron being toxic to the fae.

And my mind was spinning. Rushing to check the Bane Chronicles, I looked at what the Hotel Dumort was built of. It actually was demonic metal, but I'd you had enough iron that can conduct magic,

So if Magnus sits on a throne of iron with enough demonic magic in him, it could unlock Lucifer down there.

Another theory that a few people have brought up is Magnus being possessed by a demon. I feel like it would be a demon Asmodeus sent to posses Magnus, not himself, but at least Asmodeus is smart. He has some sort of brain, unlike Belial, who just acts like he does, and then fails.

Last theory is something I'll do another post on because it needs a LOT of research to back it up.

This theory is that the eldest curses are similar to the Nephilim from the Bible.

These Nephilim were the children of fallen angels on earth. Same as the eldest curses. Though these Nephilim were giants, hundreds of feet tall.

But in one of Magnus's many visions, he dreamt he was tall. And this was after sitting on that throne, after ruling his own world.

Again, more research needed, but I think it could explain their power.

Feel free to add your own theories and thoughts! If I missed any canon info that could be helpful also tell me and I'll edit the post so it's included.

[menaceanon]

So I have decided, for the new year, to do a book rec, since I know many folks who follow me read a lot of sci-fi and fantasy.

I read almost 50 books this year, which is about 45 more than I get through in the average year. The trick is that I started queueing up a zillion audiobook rentals on my library app (check out Libby if you haven’t already!!!) and listening to them while doing any task that uses my hands but leaves my ADHD brain free to wander, like cleaning or driving.

As a result, there are a ton of great books I could tell you about, but I chose this one. I figured I’d pick the one book from my top three that I don’t see a lot of people talking about. Because WOW do we need to be talking about it!

Now, technically, this is the first book in a trilogy, but since I devoured all three as quickly as humanly possible you can consider this more of a review for the whole trilogy.

A Crown for Cold Silver

Crimson Empire Book 1

By Alex Marshall

Summary: Thirty years ago, the dread general Cobalt Zosia and her five villainous cohorts battled epic monsters, won legendary treasures, and led a mercenary army to victory against an evil empire.

Then Zosia retired.

But when her peaceful life is destroyed, she swears bloody, bloody vengeance, and re-emerges into a world full of old friends with grudges, old enemies with dangerous weapons, and a new generation ready to raise some hell.

Review: Listen. Listen. I went into this trilogy with no expectation besides “Older woman out for revenge? Sounds like it could be fun.” I was anxiously anticipating something pessimistic, and was ready to put the book down if it seemed to enjoy the violence for violence’s sake. No hate, but that’s never been my scene.

What I found instead is maybe the most under-appreciated fantasy trilogy on the market. I mainlined all three (long!) books in a week and a half. I straight-up bought the second and third audiobooks because I didn’t want to wait my turn in the library queue.

This is epic fantasy, with sketchy sorcerers, clashing armies, and demons with unknown agendas. You’ll also never convince me it wasn’t pitched as “what happens thirty years after your DnD party full of chaotic neutral morons has their big, world-changing adventure and then walks away and leaves everyone to sort themselves out.” I’ve seen a handful of folks describe it as “grimdark,” and make no mistake—it is violent (think Witcher levels of gore, if you’re familiar), and occasionally deeply tragic. But the defining feature of grimdark, specifically, is pessimism. This is a book built on a foundation of optimism, about cycles of violence and the role we play in perpetuating them, on both a small and large scale.

Also, while I’d never classify it as a comedy, Marshall never loses sight of the absurd, and deftly turns what could have been oppressively grim into something casually and constantly hilarious.

The large cast is made up of complicated people with conflicting needs and agendas, who would all love to do the right thing, really they would, it’s just right now is not an especially convenient time. And while almost all of them are assholes I also absolutely adored every single one.

And here’s the tumblr-recommendation-style cherry on top: you know that thing where you read a book and the author tries to tell you, like, “oh sexism doesn’t exist in this world” but doesn’t actually grasp what that means and so sexism still blatantly exists? Well this trilogy says “Everybody shut up, let’s think this through carefully: What if sexism actually didn’t exist in this world, or ageism, or any stripe of queerphobia. What would that look like? How would it fundamentally change our assumptions?” (That idea is, of course, thematically relevant but I won’t dig into that now or we’ll be here all day.)

This is one of the most casually queer fantasy stories I’ve ever read. It’s not about people being queer (I love that, I do, it’s just not always what I’m looking for in a book). This book, instead, is about queer people. There are multiple trans characters. There are poly relationships. Absolutely no one is straight. And it’s just so… casual, not just in-world but as part of the writing. It’s also one of the best-thought-out looks at a world without sexism, to the point where the lack occasionally took me by surprise, like a missing step. If this is something you enjoy, I highly recommend this book.

Finally, I really really really have to recommend the audiobooks here. I’m sure I would have loved this if I’d read it, but Angele Masters elevated everything—her delivery of Hoartrap’s lines alone still make me cackle with glee. She was so flawless that I actually looked up other books she’s read, regardless of genre. My only caveat is that she depicts some of the characters’ accents. It’s always done respectfully—a depiction of what they sound like because they come from different parts of their world, sans judgement or mockery—but if that’s something you don’t enjoy, you can avoid it.

Please go read this trilogy. I need other people to come talk to me about them.

TL;DR: A bloody but inherently hopeful epic fantasy populated by complicated but lovable assholes. Read if you like badass women, complex world building, queer characters, DND.

[thatskepticalbitchcara]

didn’t think i would have to call myself the joe anon again but oh well lol (btw i’m not hating on him, i’m just not like a joe stan)

it amazes me how divided the swiftie fandom is- i feel like it’s mostly a result of people getting so attached to one ship being exactly one way, and then when ANYTHING threatens that ship, a fight breaks out

personally i like several ships (mostly swiftgron and kaylor) but like i try to be open minded😭 even if i disagree with someone, i’m not gonna freak out at them in the tiktok comments

also yes, sexism in the swiftie fandom is real💀

yes it’s extremely weird!!!! i haven’t seen any other fandom like it. but granted, taylor is a unique case. she did sort of market herself in earlier days as writing confessional songs about famous men so it makes sense that fans would be so invested in her relationships but it doesn’t make it any less weird.

as time has gone on, i don’t really believe in or care about any gaylor ship 🤷🏻‍♀️ do i think something could’ve happened between some of them? yeah, sure. there’s enough sus stuff that i could see complicated feelings and experiences but i wouldn’t bet on it and i also just don’t really care all that much. but the way some people do is just? wild? and the het fans are just as bad if not worse.

like: supporting taylor and being happy she is in a seemingly healthy relationship and being like joe is cool = good, normal. shipping them, borderline stalking them, writing RPF about them, deluding yourself into thinking you’re practically a third in their relationship = not normal, just as bad if not worse than most gaylors, please go outside.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | September 2020

Happy 28th! All the love for all the authors in this fandom. Thank you for making my days better with your work! ♥ Here are all the fics I read and loved this month: 🍂 Remember Me Fondly | kiddle | enemies to friends to lovers - 1990s - historical - angst - humor - closets - 74k “You’ve told the beginning of the story so many times. I want to hear the end.” Louis laughed, scratching at his chin. “I can’t say I really know when the end happened.” “How about the tour of ninety-five?” “Alright.” Louis took a deep breath. “But it took a few steps to get there. What would you like to know?” Penny cleared her throat. “How did you first meet Harry Styles?” Grunge legends Fearless Doe topped the rock charts in the ‘90s, but they spent the decade kicking Smudge off their heels. From lawsuits to jaw-dropping scandals and a surprising joint world tour, the two bands share a complicated history. Twenty-five years later, frontmen Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are finally ready to sit down and tell the world their two sides of the same story. Truth may vary.

🍂 you came into my life | disgruntledkittenface | Queer Eye AU - american AU - closeted character - Coming Out - pining - fluff - angst - implied/referenced homophobia - 57k They stand around talking for a minute and then Jonathan starts to ramble, “Has there ever been, like, an unrequited gay love story in here? Like a Brokeback Mountain moment where, like, someone just fell in love and they didn’t mean to?” Louis feels bile rise in his throat as Jonathan’s eyes sparkle, pleading for a yes. He manages to look around and see thoughtful looks on his coworkers’ faces before their heads shake no. “Not here,” Liam says finally. When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

🍂 Everything I need I get from you | jaerie | a/b/o - mpreg - strangers to lovers - emotional/ psychological abuse - sexism - unplanned pregnancy - 10k In a world where music and sound are just as vital to health as food, Harry is stuck in a town that thinks professional music is a scam and a relationship he never wanted. One chance event changes his life.

🍂 at last, at last | suspendrs | post-apocalypse - dystopia - cult - mentions of violence - mentions of death - homophobia - internalized homophobia - 41k “Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.” Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway? Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

🍂 give me love | falsegoodnight and soldouthaz | a/b/o - past relationship trauma - past abusive relationship - slow burn - touch deprivation - touch starvation - nesting - angst - fluff - 41k Despite being an omega, Louis’ always had a blatant dislike of alphas. - Or, Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

🍂 You, Who Never Arrived | abrighteryellow | Only You AU - strangers to lovers - 90s AU - world travel - soulmates - fluff - angst - Fate & Destiny - 42k “That was him, Niall.” He claps a hand over a disbelieving laugh. “My soulmate – the person I’ve been waiting for since I was nine years old. That was him on the other end of the phone.” “But it can’t–” Niall stutters, unsure of what to do, how to put a stop to this. “That wasn’t real.” “Wasn’t it?” Louis rushes past him, zipping up his fly. He grabs a black denim jacket from a hook near the door. “Then who did I just talk to?” “Where are you going?” Niall demands as Louis pockets his keys and swings his front door open. “I just have to get a look at him. I just have to see, that’s all!” “You’re not serious. Louis, it’s already late.” “He’s at the airport. Fifteen years I’ve been expecting him around every corner, and now he’s half an hour away. I can’t just sit here.” “Bu–” “I’m not going to do anything crazy, I promise. I just–I have to see him. This is my chance. Maybe my only chance.” Louis Tomlinson is days away from marrying a perfectly nice podiatrist when he gets a phone call that changes everything. Or, the Only You AU in which Louis has a soulmate and it's definitely not Harry Styles.

🍂 Shall we sleep, my love? | givelourrylove | angst - emotional hurt/comfort - kid fic - 15k There is so much sincerity in Harry’s voice. So much that says you, Louis, I look forward to seeing you, you and your soft eyes and your petite body, just you, you, you, but Louis forces himself to ignore that. To gulp it down again, sizing up the lump that had formed beneath his lungs, possibly reappearing any time and choking him with everything he decided not to think about for the past year. or Louis loses his job as a teacher, has to move out and find somewhere to live. A certain someone named Harry offers his home to Louis and his son. Pining, crying and reading bedtime stories involved.

🍂 so much I could live for I could die | louisnights | dystopia - trans character - sexual harrassment - friends to lovers - strangers to friends to lovers - no smut - 15k “Sometimes I wonder what’s out there,” Louis confesses, tucking into his second biscuit. “I wonder if what they’re saying is true, about the Thieves, about the other compounds. Why are we not allowed to leave? Go to other compounds?” Lottie gets up, letting out a sigh as she squeezes his shoulder. “You shouldn’t think like that, Lou, it will get you killed.” “They can’t take away my thoughts,” Louis answers defiantly. Lottie pats his shoulder before she disappears to her room, closing the door behind her with a quiet click. or: Louis is a transgender man who escapes his compound after extenuating circumstances, and meets the Thieves, who show him what freedom really is.

🍂 A Road To Hope | he_wants_to_write | historical - World War II - 1940s - farm/ranch - PTSD - emotional hurt - hurt/comfort - angst - mental instability - internalized homophobia - 18k “We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.” It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch. or In the heat of April, 1944, an escapee soldier lost in a dirt-road stumbles upon a small farm and finds himself recovering from the traumas of World War II in the simplicity of a frugal life, with the help of a little boy's innocent soul, and a farmer's hopeful green eyes.

🍂 With Love's Light Wings | 4ureyesonly28 and reminiscingintherain | Rome and Juliet AU - a/b/o - 1920s - marriage proposals - 12k Two households, both alike in dignity, / In fair London town, where we lay our scene... — Or something like that, anyway. On either side of the River Thames live Louis Montague and Harry Capulet, their noble packs entangled in a feud so old, nobody even remembers what caused it. As fate will have it, against all odds, they fall in love. Harder than the bricks that make up their families’ estates and faster than a Duesenberg car. AKA The 1920s ABO Romeo & Juliet AU that we desperately wanted to write.

🍂 The Very First Words of a Lifelong Love Letter | LiveLaughLoveLarry | first meetings - friends to lovers - weddings - no smut - 9.5k The prompt I picked was (lightly edited): "Harry and Louis have been best friends ever since they met through fandom (I picked Critical Role) twitter. Person A (I picked Louis) lives in New York City and Person B (Harry) lives in the UK. They’ve never met in person but they FaceTime and text daily. Person B’s cousin is getting married to a rich American who’s paying for the entire family to travel to The Hamptons for a summer wedding. Are Harry and Louis ready to meet?" ~*~ Harry thought he was just imagining things when the flower girl looked like one of the twins, but -- he’s almost certain that groomsman is Louis. The pictures he's seen haven't been the best quality, granted, but he knows Louis. He does. Harry stares wide-eyed as he walks down the aisle in step with the bridesmaid, taking their places on either side of the stage. As they turn to look out into the audience, Harry’s strong suspicion solidifies into certainty. That’s Louis. He’d bet his life on it. But Louis doesn’t look at him, and it’s not like Harry can wave. He can only stare, mouth still hanging half-open. Suddenly, as much as he loves weddings, he can’t wait for this one to be over.

🍂 promise you'll remember (when the sky is grey) | Anonymous | american AU - summer - 33k "Once you come to this town, you find that it's not so easy to leave," Niall spoke with a fond tone in his voice. "Canyon isn't a place that one leaves behind easily." "I guess we'll be able to test your theory come August," Harry spoke with a small grin, "because I'm set to leave on the twenty-ninth to get back to work in LA." Niall smirked back in reply, "I guess we will, but mark my words, you'll end up finding something to make you stay. We all did." Harry laughed, surprised at the man’s unwavering confidence in his statement. "We'll see." - a summer spent in small town Maine, filled with trips to the farmer’s market, lemonade tailgating, taylor swift, and falling in love at quite possibly the most inconvenient time ever (not necessarily in that order).