#comparing them at the same age is so fascinating though man. MAN.

[applestorms]

fantastic tags from @numbuh424

#I made a personal tierlist of the characters' intelligence a while back so I was rlly curious about other people's thoughts on this too hehe#'personality/temperament play a large role in DN's mind games' you get ittt#if I had to pick one Smartest Guy Ever I'd choose L too. there's a lot of factors but his experience makes it a pretty easy call#when thinking about experience as a factor something I've thought about a lot is comparing them across different ages#like since L died at 24 how does Light compare at age 23 or Near at 27#given Light's time as L was spent mostly spinning the kira hunt in circles uncontested I always disagree with ppl who say-#-Light surpasses L after killing him. he knows how to play his pieces well say the exact words to anyone to get exactly what he needs-#-and that gets him a lot further than anything else. without L there it's just the same song and dance forever nothing to push him further#I do like to think Near is the closest anyone can get to L especially now that he's older but I don't think he has the drive for it anymore#he has the means and Time which is something the others no longer have but I can see him resigning himself to the idea that he's not-#-able to do so at least not by himself#Light lacking the drive to surpass L because L is dead and Near lacking the drive to surpass L because Mello is dead#something something parallels#also beyond at the bottom is 1000% correct. there were some community rankings on tierlist that put him so high up like guys. be fr.#I saw some putting him just beneath or even ON PAR with L like guys!!!!#BB himself probably sent those in bc ain't no way lmao#ALSO MISA AT NUMBER 5 YESSSS PEOPLE KEEP FORGETTING SHE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS#re: 'misa has a similar strength to near' like mello she knows how to act on her plans herself too#anyways rambling aside thank you for answering!!

4 and 16 for the DN asks 👀

HEHEHE. ok <3 original ask game

4. who’s your favorite underrated or obscure character?

NEAR. we've got a pretty good community of near lovers around here but i'm counting him as underrated due to fandom-wide opinions. alternatively, kiyomi. <33

16. who do you believe is the smartest character?

i was actually considering writing a whole post on intelligence in DN, but didn't think i had enough to say for a full ramble so here's a (not so) brief overview of a bunch of notable characters. i'm of the opinion that trying to rank/judge intelligence by some kind of hierarchy or objective standard is kind of impossible (say it with me everyone, IQ tests are bullshitttt) and personality/temperament plays quite a significant role in DN's mind games, so. idk. here:

L: if you Demanded i choose one person to be the smartest character in DN, i'd probably give in and say L. that being said, i think L's intelligence mostly surrounds things like his logical reasoning/pattern recognition/memory for details/etc. his knowledge of people in particular is interesting to me, as while i don't think he intuitively Gets people very well, his ability to reason out their mindset/emotional character is one of his key abilities in the series (see: figuring out KIRA's mindset to confirm that he's even a real person at all)-- so, idk, it's kinda hard to judge if that could be considered Emotional Int or not. he's certainly also got great potential to learn more, esp if it's for the sake of a case, though his personality n picky, princess-y attitude trips him up a bit.

NEAR: while i don't think near has as much Collected Knowledge as L, if only due to not having the same amount of lived experience/time to get there, i do think he's got one advantage over him when it comes to his rationality. i.e. near is Chill where L gets very, very invested in his projects, which can at times cloud his judgement when it comes to things not directly related to said projects. near just seems more likely to be the type to take a step back n reflect on everything, perhaps even to a fault, though this grants him the Distinct advantage of allowing him to keep his ego in check. don't get me wrong, he's still cocky and fixated and kind of an asshole, but man's got hobbies. he knows how to take a vacation.

LIGHT: light is dumb as fuck. at the start of the story he's in a similar position to near, lacking the lived experience and Collected Knowledge of L, and his planning/judgements are screwed not only by his lack of intelligence, but his overwhelming ego n temper. light's real strength is his ability to manipulate people, knowing the exact type of mask he needs to wear to get what he needs, and his ability to keep (outwardly) calm in the face of stress. once/if he gets past his temper, he's very good at reacting in the moment n rolling with the punches. light is also an interesting case in that his intelligence will often backfire against him-- where L can sometimes get his view clouded by viewing Everything through the lens of the case and missing some of the greater consequences of his actions (see: granting KIRA god status through lind l. tailor), light gets fucked up in that his reasoning allows him to better Repress and Deny the facts of reality that he doesn't want to have to deal with (e.g. his own murders). also, Knowledge-wise, i think it's notable that one of the few academic subjects we see light being Really good at (in the anime, at least?) is english-- communication is light's biggest strength, you could say. ig he is a Warrior of the pen and all.

MELLO: i kinda see him as suffering from the same faults/strengths as light, but to a more extreme/overt degree. he Struggles to keep his temper and ego in check, especially since it is constantly being aggravated by his inferiority complex-- but when he can, he is similarly quite good at keeping calm and chill and reacting well to the circumstances. i actually think he's one of the better planners in the series, and his willingness to take action grants him the advantage of catching other people off guard. it always gets to me that what ultimately takes mello out is his kindness/courtesy, allowing takada her blanket and her chance to kill him. he seems to care about People in the most genuine way out of anyone to me in this series, which is both lovely and tragic.

MISA: anyways, onto someone who Does Not care about people. misa's biggest strength is her acting and YES, SHE'S GOOD AT ACTING. SHUT UP. i would say she's even better than light at this, since it's literally part of her job and also she apparently fools half the fandom into thinking she's a moron. i actually think misa has a similar strength to near as well in that she's capable of getting outside her own head and reflecting on the situation in a way that isn't purely driven by her own ego-- part of her fault is just that, like L, she often doesn't care enough to bother. misa knows what the fuck she wants, and pursues it successfully and rigorously enough to keep light in a stranglehold from the minute she meets him until the day he fucking dies. the question is whether or not this Thing she wants so badly will actually make her happy, or whether she will allow herself to drop the stubbornness for two goddamn seconds and chill out enough to actually consider other options.

KIYOMI: kiyomi is book smart and has quite good logic and reasoning as well, but she is Stifled by social expectations a way that i see as very much parallel to light. i think her biggest strength and weakness are knotted up together, in a way-- she makes the connections, but only rarely bothers to say them out loud. i actually think she might have a similar mix of self-doubt and ego as mello, though the way they express those traits are polar opposite. she's Aware of people in a similar way too, or at the very least conventional rules of morality/ethics, enough so to be horrified when light asks her to kill (but not enough to stop herself from doing it). i fucking adore the idea that she's a bit of a closeted sadist too-- etc. etc. horror at her actions, or her own capacity for them in and of itself? juicy shit.

NAOMI: taking from LABB murder canon for this one too-- naomi Definitely has strong logical reasoning, being able to keep up with/follow much of the mind game bullshittery of beyond and L even as ryuzaki is fucking with her irl. she's got a more blunt, brutal version of near's Don't Give A Fuck-ery too, throwing away the bullshit without a second of doubt or care when she recognizes it. her weakness is again in her kindness, though naomi's has got more of a maternal edge to it than mello's. remember-- what fucks her up, what causes her to separate herself from the FBI in the first place is not her own experiences with racism or sexism from her coworkers, but her inability to shoot a child. kind of opposite to kiyomi in that way, actually, horror at her inability to execute violence against someone that she sees as an inherently innocent being? perhaps part of what endears her to L as well, and light.

SOICHIRO: his greatest strength is his capacity for reflection, which i see as a side effect of his age. soichiro is not caught up in the throes of his own ego, he doesn't have much patience for the mind games, and why would he? he's got a job to do, a family to take care of and love. he's more cool-headed than a lot of the younger characters because of this, capable of reconsidering his morals and the nuances of his ethical stance as he comes in contact with new situations, not holding to some Static idea of This Is How Reality Must Be 100% (see: him softening his stance to say that the true evil is "the capacity to kill," in his hospital bed). yet this love for his family, the fact that he has kind of Made It, is also his greatest weakness-- he's got something to lose now, and especially in the second half, we can see that Fear really get to him.

BEYOND: is simply not that smart. worse, he's all ego and got a simultaneous superiority/inferiority complex. he comes up w/ dumb, overly convoluted puzzles n then looks down on other people for being too Pedestrian to get it, walking naomi through his reasoning bc he thinks she's too stupid to figure out the important shit. i don't even think he's on naomi's level of reasoning, he's just good at murder mystery-esque puzzle bs and lighting himself on fire.

[ghostbeam]

empty til she fills | fuyumi todoroki x reader

You’re beautiful, really. It’s truly no wonder why they chose you for the job, every line and curve and fold. They’ll never be able to capture you the way you really are. Nothing compares to the real thing.

Her eyes gaze over your neck, down your chest, over your stomach, your thighs. That familiar hunger sits in Fuyumi’s stomach, aches in her jaw. She wants to bite you everywhere that she can, really make you bleed. But Fuyumi doesn’t feed from anything but animals, and it’s not like you’d satisfy her hunger anyway. She’s given up on that feeling a long time ago.

Notes: Hiiiii everyone!!! This is the first installment of vampire empire and it’s all about fuyumi!!! It’s much shorter than I thought, but when it was done it was done u know? I love her I think she should be allowed to go apeshit and drink blood and not hold back if she wants to!!!!!!! Let her fuck!!!!!! Anyways yeah thanks for reading!! (title from vampire empire by big thief) u can listen to the playlist for the whole anthology here! Also I made a Pinterest board!

Warnings: 18+, minors dni, f! reader, explicit content, dark content, angst for like the briefest moment, violence, vampires, detailed descriptions of blood and gore (on both reader and another person), murder (u kill someone! It’s offscreen tho), blood kink, biting, drinking blood (fuyumi drinks from reader, u both drink from the dead man), biting and drinking from already open wounds, fingering, oral (reader eats fuyumi out!!! Yay!!!) (bloody), bloody sex, reader is sort of a masochist, soooo many commas, a line completely stolen from fascination (1979) cause I had to ajsjsjsjs, perspective changes between u and fuyumi like a lot idk I’m sorry she spoke to me<3

words: 4.3k

Fuyumi has always been a little unsure of what to do with her hands. When she sits, when she walks, when she kisses, while she waits. Where does she put them? Where do they go?

It’s the same, squeezing porcelain clay through her fingers, molding and shaping and running a wire through the middle and cursing when it doesn’t topple over. She’s bad with her hands, but she loves it, lumpy mugs and all. 

And her mugs are lumpy, most of them break in the kiln, but whatever she’s proud of, she sends to her brothers. 

She’s never been much of an artist, and all the years she’s lived (many, many years), none of it ever interested her. But when you’ve done everything, there’s no harm in trying. And so even though her pots and bowls end up twisted and misshapen on the wheel, she tries and tries until they’re at least a little bit useful.

The truth is that there, in the studio, surrounded by people who do all the same things that she does, mess up and try again, break things when they don’t turn out, or smash fragile wet clay held together by careful hands, Fuyumi feels human. She makes mistakes. She screws up. It’s something she’s never been allowed to do before. 

Plus, you’re there. 

The anatomy class pays you to model. Sometimes, she sees you run around in your long robe, buying snacks from the vending machines or remembering something you left in your car. She’s completely enamored with you, with your humanity, how free you seem. She’s envious, in a way, but really she just likes you, wants you—wants to bite you. Which is dangerous for Fuyumi because she stopped feeding from humans ages ago. 

You collide on a Saturday night, left alone in the studio, separated by one wall. Fuyumi works late because she doesn’t sleep, and one of the owners of the building had given her a set of keys to lock up when she leaves. When she opens the door to the pottery studio, you’re out in the hallway, slapping your palm against the door next door and murmuring soft no’s as you peak through the glass. You have half a mind to just bust the thing down, except now you’re not alone in the hallway. 

Fuyumi. The pretty vampire with streaks of scarlet through her ivory hair, cute glasses perched on her nose, and hands you think about way more often than you should steps out of the pottery studio. You’ve caught her staring at you before, and you can’t tell if it’s because she knows of the similar condition you have in common, or if she’s as interested in you as you are in her. 

You both pause, caught staring at one another. The only thing on Fuyumi’s mind is that you’re probably completely naked under your robe. 

“I—um, got locked out.” You say, finally, blowing air you have no need for out of your throat like a breath. It must be nerves. “My clothes are in there. My everything is in there.”

“Oh!” She shakes her head free of the thoughts of your bare body. Then a realization, “I have a key!”

You move out of her way and let her unlock the door, jiggling the key in the lock and pushing it open. You grin, press your hands into her shoulders and let out a squeal of delight. “Thank you!”

“Yeah, no problem.” She speaks, willing herself not to melt at the feeling of your fingers digging into her flesh for a moment. She turns to leave, satisfied with the interaction, enough to hold her over for a lifetime, maybe. Your hands on her shoulders, your robe against your skin, your neck. 

“Fuyumi!” You call, and she feels like maybe she’s dreaming, or maybe she’s hearing things. But when she turns around, you’re looking at her expectantly. “Would you wait for me? I don’t really wanna walk to my car alone at night.”

It’s a good excuse, you think. Fuyumi’s got that bleeding heart (or lack of one). She won’t leave you alone. 

“‘Course! Yeah, I’ve gotta lock the front, anyways, so—yeah, I’ll wait.” She nods, stepping back into the room and letting the door fall shut behind her. She watches you untie you’re robe at the middle, and she spins on her heel, facing the door again. She hears you chuckle, and it makes her feel a little silly. You’re naked for, like, four hours every day. It’s not like you would care if she watched. 

But Fuyumi cares, because she doesn’t want to see you naked for the first time like that. She doesn’t want to see you naked and know she won’t be able to touch you. 

“Okay, you can turn around, now.” You speak now that you’re dressed. She turns and you walk toward her, locking elbows. She leads you outside, locks the door with your hand against her arm like she’s yours, and walks you to your car. 

“Guess I’ll see you next week.” She tells you, pulling away from you to walk to her bike. You call her name and it’s deja vu.

“Do you want to go get coffee?” You ask, stopping Fuyumi in her tracks yet again. She turns.

“It’s eleven o’clock at night.” Fuyumi says like an idiot. 

“I just—I wanna keep…hanging out.” You say, and well, so does Fuyumi. Of course, she does. “Your bike’ll fit in the trunk. I’ll drive you home after.”

So, she says yes, stuffs her bike into your trunk with the back seats folded down, and ducks into your car. 

You drive like a maniac, and you listen to your music way too loud, and Fuyumi hopes she doesn’t look as terrified as she feels despite knowing she can’t die in a car accident. But you can, she thinks, so yea, she’s terrified. And you drive like this all the time?

But you both make it in one piece, skirting into the parking lot of a diner with a yellowing neon sign out front. Everyone knows you inside, greeting you with happy smiles and asking you questions about your life, details Fuyumi hopes to know after tonight. 

You take her to a booth in the corner, sliding in next to her instead of across, thighs pressed up against each other as a waitress brings you both a mug of hot coffee. You order apple pie with ice cream, and Fuyumi envies the fact that you’re even able to eat it. Since becoming a vampire, she’s lost any appetite for anything that isn’t blood. 

“So, when were you turned?” You speak, licking vanilla ice cream off the back of your spoon, head resting on you fist as you stare at her. If Fuyumi had a working heart it would be beating out of her chest right now. “I don’t think you’re all that old. You actually seem pretty young. Tell me, maybe in the mid nineties, early two-thousands?”

Fuyumi opens then closes her mouth, unsure of what to say. How could you have possibly known (besides the fact that you got the decade way off)?

“I was turned in ’87 by an old boyfriend who couldn’t control himself.” You shrug, revealing the information like you hadn’t just told her that you, the little human she’s been so fascinated by lately, are a vampire. 

“You’re a vampire.” She says—a statement—not a question, because of course, you’re a vampire. 

“You didn’t know?” You ask, softer. She shakes her head, stares at the booth in front of her. She feels your fingers underneath her chin, and she’s not sure how she never noticed it before, but you’re hands are freezing. She lets you guide her to look at you. “Hey, are you okay? Did I freak you out?”

And it’s not that you’re a vampire. It’s not even that you’re a vampire that she was convinced was human. It’s that she wanted to bite you, wanted to feel that pop and gush, drink from you what’s not actually even being pumped through your body anymore, blood that’s lying dormant in your veins. And the thing is, she still wants to. 

“I think I’m just shocked.” She speaks, willing herself to calm down, accept the situation, adapt. “I haven’t met another one of us here in town. It’s new, but it’s…good. I’m actually a little excited about it.”

“You don’t sound excited.” You observe, letting your hand fall to her thigh. 

“I am—no really. I am.” She grins, leaning toward you. “How come you can eat real food?”

You think maybe she still hasn’t processed everything yet, the smile on her face a little unnerving. And there’s something in her eyes, raw, dangerous, hungry. It makes you shiver. “I never lost the appetite.”

“It tastes good to you?” 

“So good.” You nod, unknowingly moving a little closer. Two girls pressed up against each other in a booth in a dark corner. Two vampires. Two monsters. 

You’re there later than either of you expected to be, fingers intertwined, hands brushing away stray hairs, and words whispered against ears, tucking your face into her neck when you laugh at something inappropriate. 

When you leave, Fuyumi tugs on your hand, interlocks two fingers as you walk to your car. You drive just as bad, but she doesn’t think she minds it this time. To die by your side, and all that. 

When you drop her off at home, you scribble your number on her wrist with a green glitter gel pen and resist the urge to do something drastic like kiss her or invite yourself in. 

Fuyumi realizes she’s left her bike in your trunk, her only mode of transportation to the studio besides walking. She eyes the green glitter on her skin and opens her phone. 

left my bike in ur car:/ pick me up to go to the studio tmrrw? Read 2:22am

be there at 10 sent 2:24am

u can sit in on my class sent 2:25am

…

She does sit in on your class the next morning. You hold her hand and show her where to sit, a view of both the artist’s sketches of you and the actual you draped over a couch. It’s probably inappropriate to sit there all horny in the middle of this art class, but you won’t stop looking at her. You know exactly what your doing, mimicking the rise and fall of your chest like you’re breathing when she knows you’re not. 

You’re beautiful, really. It’s truly no wonder why they chose you for the job, every line and curve and fold. They’ll never be able to capture you the way you really are. Nothing compares to the real thing.

Her eyes gaze over your neck, down your chest, over your stomach, your thighs. That familiar hunger sits in Fuyumi’s stomach, aches in her jaw. She wants to bite you everywhere that she can, really make you bleed. But Fuyumi doesn’t feed from anything but animals, and it’s not like you’d satisfy her hunger anyway. She’s given up on that feeling a long time ago.

When the class ends, Fuyumi leaves to make more misshapen mugs, taking a few out of the kiln she thinks she’ll give to you. As the sun sets, both of you get ready to leave, and you’re at the door to the pottery studio by the time Fuyumi is done cleaning her space. You’re a little disappointed you missed watching her on the wheel, her pretty hands shaping the clay like you’ve seen her do many times before. You knock on the door frame, and she looks up at you, grins. Her hair is tied up, pieces of hair falling over her face, her cardigan falling down and exposing her right shoulder. You can’t get over how pretty she is, a little messy.

“Hi.” You speak.

“Hey. You ready?” She asks, throwing her bag over her shoulder and walking towards you. You always want to watch her walk towards you—never away.

“I’m ready.” You nod, intertwining your fingers with hers when she makes her way towards you. You drive Fuyumi to your house, your arm over the console and your hand on her thigh. 

Your place is small, really just big enough for you. The walls are a mauve color that Fuyumi decides she likes, tiny star shaped twinkle lights hang over each window instead of curtains, a bundle of violets stuffed inside a beer bottle sit on your coffee table, books and dvd’s and records all stacked against one another with what seems to be no sense of organization in your bookcases. It’s really not much for a vampire.

She sets her tote bag carefully on the counter, red and white checkered, pulling two of her signature misshapen mugs from inside. One painted blue with tiny yellow stars and the other lined with terribly drawn strawberries. 

“These are for you.” She tells you, turning to face you as you’re bent over your stereo, looking for a station you like. Bits from the past stick with you like a refrigerator magnet. Fuyumi wants to remember the look on your face when you turn around and see her gift for the rest of her life. 

“I love them!” You gush, rushing over to pick both of them up. “They’re perfect. One for me, and one for you. We’ll drink blood from them with our pinkies up and cheers to LeFanu.”

Fuyumi laughs, says nothing about the blood. “I’m glad you like them.”

You turn around, opening one of your cabinets open with a finger, setting the mugs down on the counter and moving two snoopy holiday mugs on one shelf towards the back. You set the gift down in their place and wave a hand over it like your presenting them on a gameshow, “I’ve replaced the snoopy mugs with them. That’s a big deal, you know.”

“I’m honored.” Fuyumi grins, moving around the counter to stand near you. 

“You should be.” You lean a little closer to her, let her hand brush against your hip, hook her fingers in your belt loops. You nudge your nose against hers, and she takes that as a sign to kiss you. 

Chapped lips meet yours, hungrier than you expected, much less soft than the girl before you. There’s a burning in your gut, her hands, those hands you’ve payed so much attention to, pressing into your hips, pulling you flush against her front. You let out a moan when she swipes her tongue against your lip, your bodies pressing closer and closer like you’ll become one person. She moves her leg in between your thighs, pressed up against you, and your mouth falls open in a gasp, one she wastes no time taking advantage of, all tongue and teeth, all her, her, her. 

The two of you end up on your couch, unable to make it to the bed. If you had to wait any longer, you think maybe you’d both explode. She eats you out, there in your living room, makes you come three times in a row, familiar hungry eyes never stray from your own. 

…

She doesn’t talk about the vampire thing. Ever. She goes quiet when you bring it up, busying herself with something else like washing the dishes in your sink or trying to find something to watch on tv. You mostly let it go because you know Fuyumi. You know how fascinated she is by humans, how she envies them, how that envy and fascination is the very reason you’re together now. 

And maybe it should hurt you, the fact that believing you were human was the one reason she’d been so interested. But you know her, bleeding unbeating heart and all, she loves you. She loves you and your monster, she just doesn’t love her’s.

It’s difficult to drag the body through your house alone, vampire strength being something you hadn’t been blessed with once you’d turned all those years ago. Fuyumi sent you a message that she’d be at the studio late and would probably just end up going home instead of coming over. You figure you have time to drain this guy of all he’s worth, pack him up into little tupperwares in your fridge and be done with him by morning. 

You’ve done this a million times before, dragged a body out to your back yard, fed from it until your satisfied before saving the rest. It’s enough to last you a couple of weeks. It’s a good system. 

You don’t hear the sliding door open, you just hear Fuyumi say your name. You look up at her, blood on your mouth, your neck, your hands, fangs poking out underneath your top lip. You’re sure you look terrifying, but it’s the look on her face that scares you. 

It’s disgust, and betrayal, and anger. It’s tears welling up in her pretty, gray eyes and her mouth falling open and closed at the sight of you. 

But Fuyumi, well, Fuyumi wants to join you. It’s taking everything in her not to fall to her knees and sink her teeth into the neck of this possibly innocent man. She wants to drink and kiss you, and drink, and touch you, and then drink some more, this time from your neck. But Fuyumi doesn’t kill for blood, and she thought that neither did you. 

“I can’t believe you.” Her words are quiet. If you both hadn’t been outside on a completely silent night, you don’t think you would have even heard her. 

“Fuyumi…” You begin, standing up from where you’d previously crouched down, blood on your hands falling against the concrete in sticky splatters. She takes a step back like she’s scared of you. 

“You killed him.”

“Fuyumi,” another step.

“Stay there.” You stop. It’s not supposed to be like this. She’s supposed to love you. She does love you. You have to tell yourself that. 

“I’m a vampire. What did you expect? This is who we are.” You try to explain. 

“It’s not—it’s not who I am.” She shakes her head, flashes of red appear behind her eyes, the teeth of her brothers, her hands covered in blood the same way yours are now. Laughing, hollering, arms tangled together, the last time they’d all been with each other, the last time they were happy. 

“It is. It is who you are. Fuyumi, you’re starving.” Your words seem to do something to her, her mouth falls closed. A decision is made, and her feet take her closer and closer to you and the body on the floor. 

She wraps her hand around the back of your neck, thumbs through the blood you’re covered in and kisses you. She licks the blood on your lips, moaning from either your tongue or taste, you’re unsure. You pull her close, blood smearing against her white t-shirt. She pulls away from your lips, kissing your jaw and your neck, poking her tongue out to lick up the mess. You place your hands on her cheeks, pulling her back to look at you. 

“Come here.” You whisper, pulling her down as you crouch to the ground. “I want you to drink—I want to share.”

She lets you pull her down, taking your hand in hers, slippery, slick. You move away from his neck, leaving it open for her, urging her. This is what she wants. There’s something about drinking from your bite in the man’s neck. You’ve been here, you’re bite is her bite is her blood. 

And, god, is it delicious. She drinks, lets it fall down her throat in large gulps, dripping down her chin and neck. A sound escapes her throat, guttural, everything she’s deprived herself of having, here in between her teeth. She watches you while she drinks, eyes looking up through white lashes, reaching a hand out to hold you by the wrist, grounded. She pulls away, heaving, even though she has no need for breath. Her lips, saturated in red, begging to be tasted.

“You’re beautiful like that,” You speak, squeezing her hand, “with his blood on your mouth.”

She kisses you, all tongue, her fangs catching on your bottom lip. She pulls away and pushes you down, lets you bite the other side of the dead man’s neck, pets your hair as you drink. It goes on like this for a while, kissing, drinking, touching, whispers of please and oh, god and both of your names over and over until you’re a jumbled mess of words and sounds and blood and guts. 

You stumble, half naked through the door, Fuyumi’s hands and lips all over you. You don’t make it to the bed, a habit the two of you have seemed to form, falling down on the hardwood, limbs all tangled. With her shirt already discarded outside, you thumb the hooks of her bra open, throwing it to the side. Blood has dripped from her throat down between the valley of her breasts, and you lick it up, feeling her back arch as she hovers above you. 

She kisses your neck, almost frantic. Her fangs brush against your skin like she might sink into you, but she doesn’t, just kisses you so sweetly. 

“Can I bite you, please?” She moans. “I need to—I’ve wanted to—”

“Yes.” You interrupt her, throwing your head back against the floor and baring your neck to her. She wastes no time sinking her fangs into your flesh, blood pouring into her mouth. Coppery and sweet, a hint of licorice and cherry—Fuyumi thinks she can’t get enough. You gasp, hands grabbing at her waist, fingers digging into her sides enough to leave a mark. You’ve never felt pain like this, all agony and bliss. 

She smiles at you, bloody, when she pulls away. A part of you is her’s now, nestled between her ribs, living in her stomach. You taste yourself on her lips, hands pulling at her jeans, your leg moving between her thighs to grind against her cunt. 

You flip her onto her back, sucking on her neck, venturing down her body. You pull her jeans from her legs, along with her underwear, spreading her legs. She’s so wet, thighs sticky with arousal as you run a finger through her folds. A whine escapes her lips as you thumb over her clit. With your eyes on her, you press your tongue to her entrance, watching how her face contorts in pleasure. It reminds you of the way she’d stared at you while drinking from the man, hand clutched to your wrist, not once daring to look away, With one hand, you reach up to do the same, bloody fingers circling her wrist as you devour her. 

She writhes, arching her back and grinding against your face, a mess of slick and blood pooling in your mouth as you bring her closer and closer to orgasm. 

“Please!” She cries, “please! Oh my god!”

Her moans only spur you on as you speed up the movement of your tongue, squeezing her wrist as you let her move her hips against your mouth. She comes with a strangled cry of your name, legs shaking around your head, falling limp against the floor as you lick at her swollen clit. You pull away, rising from your place in between her thighs to hover over her.

“Like that?” You ask her, placing soft kisses against her jaw. She manages a soft mhm before moving her face to kiss you.You run your hands up and down the sides of her body, “so pretty…”

“Let me touch you.” She begs, pushing herself up onto her elbows. You nod, letting her maneuver you so you’re on your back again. She kisses you again, swirling her tongue against yours, tasting herself. In a way, part of her is yours now, too.

She slips her hand into your underwear, gasping at the feeling of how wet you are. You take the opportunity to lick into her mouth, moaning against her lips as she slips two fingers inside of you. She pulls away from your mouth and eyes the open wound on your neck. You lock eyes with her, nodding in approval, allowing her to bite you again. 

She bites and curls her fingers inside you at the same time. A choked scream escapes your throat at both sensations. You move your hips as she pumps her fingers in and out of you, her throat bobbing with each drink she takes from you. It’s overwhelming, and so satisfying, being the consumed for a change. 

Her thumb brushes over your clit and you jolt, gripping her waist as she brings you closer to the edge. 

“Kiss me!” You cry, “Fuyumi!” 

She pulls away from your neck, watching how the blood flows from the wound, continuing her movements against your pussy. You pull her down to kiss you as you come from her fingers. You’re both moaning against each other, passing your blood between your tongues. She pulls her hand from between your legs, stares at the pink-tinted slick and how it webs between her fingers before wrapping her lips around her fingers and sucking them clean off. 

She smiles down at you, hair a mess, glasses-less as they’d fallen off much earlier. You press your palms against her cheeks, admiring her. This Fuyumi is hungry, and bloody, and the furthest thing from human. You love her like this. You’ll be her’s forever, if she’ll have you. 

You pull her into the shower with you, washing the blood from her hair and her back, taking turns and watching the blood swirl down the drain. She cleans the wound on your neck, and places a bandage over it, though you know it’ll be healed by morning. You place her glasses back onto her face. The two of you fall into bed, finally, arms and legs tangled together, huddled closely. She rubs over the bandage on your neck. 

“Next time, I wanna bite you, okay?” You ask, nudging your nose against her. She lets out a laugh you’re excited to hear for the rest of your immortal life and nods. 

“I can’t wait.”

[ninadove]

Nina reads Dracula 🦇

September 29th

Long one today, but Quincey’s here, so everything is right in the world. ❤️

First of, the boys are going grave-robbing as a gang! 🎉

"The more we talked, the more puzzled we got, till now I can say for myself that I'm about up a tree as to any meaning about anything."

"Me too," said Quincey Morris laconically.

"Oh," said the Professor, "then you are nearer the beginning, both of you, than friend John here, who has to go a long way back before he can even get so far as to begin."

GDHSKSKSKS THE BURN. Completely gratuitous too, John hasn’t even spoken yet.

Therefore may I ask that you promise me in the dark, so that afterwards, though you may be angry with me for a time—I must not disguise from myself the possibility that such may be—you shall not blame yourselves for anything."

🥺

"That's frank anyhow," broke in Quincey. "I'll answer for the Professor. I don't quite see his drift, but I swear he's honest; and that's good enough for me."

[Sigh] ❤️

"Would it not be well to hear what I have to say?" said Van Helsing. "And then you will at least know the limit of my purpose. Shall I go on?"

"That's fair enough," broke in Morris.

Spoken like a man who immediately thought VAMPIRES after eavesdropping for two minutes and a half ❤️

"There are mysteries which men can only guess at, which age by age they may solve only in part. Believe me, we are now on the verge of one. But I have not done. May I cut off the head of dead Miss Lucy?"

I love the way he asks like a kitten eyeing your food. I can has head of dead (<- important precision) Miss Lucy? 🥺

His voice broke a little, and he went on with a voice full of pity:—

"But, I beseech you, do not go forth in anger with me. In a long life of acts which were often not pleasant to do, and which sometimes did wring my heart, I have never had so heavy a task as now."

Day I-don’t-know-how-many of asking for Van Helsing’s backstory

"For her—I am ashamed to say so much, but I say it in kindness—I gave what you gave; the blood of my veins; I gave it, I, who was not, like you, her lover, but only her physician and her friend. I gave to her my nights and days—before death, after death; and if my death can do her good even now, when she is the dead Un-Dead, she shall have it freely."

Ok, let’s pause here for a second. I understand why so many authors directors artists etc. have developed an erotic fascination for vampirism. I see the themes, you see the themes, we nod in understanding.

But I have to wonder why the blood transfusions were not co-opted in the same way?

Like!!! We keep going back to them!!! Van Helsing in particular is so uncomfortable about the implications of sharing his blood with this young girl who was another man’s fiancée! Arthur compares it to an actual wedding ceremony!! John and Quincey let their own blood be drawn because they also loved her!!! WHY ARE BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS NOT ROMANTICISED IN THE WAY VAMPIRISM IS.

Can you imagine the creative possibilities? The poetry of giving such a fundamental part of yourself without expecting anything in return? And pushed to its extreme — the devotion that has you wasting yourself away when there is no hope of saving your lover? COME ON don’t tell me it’s not fascinating!!!

"Come to me, Arthur. Leave these others and come to me. My arms are hungry for you. Come, and we can rest together. Come, my husband, come!"

Oh oh.

"But of the most blessed of all, when this now Un-Dead be made to rest as true dead, then the soul of the poor lady whom we love shall again be free. Instead of working wickedness by night and growing more debased in the assimilating of it by day, she shall take her place with the other Angels. So that, my friend, it will be a blessed hand for her that shall strike the blow that sets her free. To this I am willing; but is there none amongst us who has a better right? Will it be no joy to think of hereafter in the silence of the night when sleep is not: 'It was my hand that sent her to the stars; it was the hand of him that loved her best; the hand that of all she would herself have chosen, had it been to her to choose?' Tell me if there be such a one amongst us?"

Oooooooof

There, in the coffin lay no longer the foul Thing that we had so dreaded and grown to hate that the work of her destruction was yielded as a privilege to the one best entitled to it, but Lucy as we had seen her in her life, with her face of unequalled sweetness and purity. True that there were there, as we had seen them in life, the traces of care and pain and waste; but these were all dear to us, for they marked her truth to what we knew. […]

"And now, my child, you may kiss her. Kiss her dead lips if you will, as she would have you to, if for her to choose. For she is not a grinning devil now—not any more a foul Thing for all eternity. No longer she is the devil's Un-Dead. She is God's true dead, whose soul is with Him!"

🥺🥺🥺

Then we cut off the head and filled the mouth with garlic.

Whiplash

And now onto Mina being cute:

"I was only entering my diary."

"Your diary?" I asked him in surprise.

"Yes," he answered. "I keep it in this." As he spoke he laid his hand on the phonograph. I felt quite excited over it, and blurted out:—

"Why, this beats even shorthand! May I hear it say something?"

Baby girl… Baby… ❤️

"You helped to attend dear Lucy at the end. Let me hear how she died; for all that I know of her, I shall be very grateful. She was very, very dear to me."

MINAAA 😭😭😭😭

"But do you know that, although I have kept the diary for months past, it never once struck me how I was going to find any particular part of it in case I wanted to look it up?" By this time my mind was made up that the diary of a doctor who attended Lucy might have something to add to the sum of our knowledge of that terrible Being, and I said boldly:—

"Then, Dr. Seward, you had better let me copy it out for you on my typewriter."

I love her your honour ❤️

"You do not know me," I said. "When you have read those papers—my own diary and my husband's also, which I have typed—you will know me better. I have not faltered in giving every thought of my own heart in this cause; but, of course, you do not know me—yet; and I must not expect you to trust me so far."

OH SHE SPEAKS LIKE VAN HELSING ERGO LIKE DRACULA

"I know that Lucy told you of me; she told me of you too."

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

And back to Seward:

I was so absorbed in that wonderful diary of Jonathan Harker and that other of his wife that I let the time run on without thinking.

“Wonderful” certainly is one way to describe it, yes.

"That is a wonderful machine, but it is cruelly true. It told me, in its very tones, the anguish of your heart. It was like a soul crying out to Almighty God. No one must hear them spoken ever again! See, I have tried to be useful. I have copied out the words on my typewriter, and none other need now hear your heart beat, as I did."

Mina continues to be the real MVP

And back to Mina:

Fortunately I am not of a fainting disposition.

Oh trust me, I know.

The world seems full of good men—even if there are monsters in it.

THANK YOU YES THAT IS IN FACT THE POINT

[Still traumatised by the 1992 movie]

I remember how much "The Dailygraph" and "The Whitby Gazette," of which I had made cuttings, helped us to understand the terrible events at Whitby when Count Dracula landed, so I shall look through the evening papers since then, and perhaps I shall get some new light.

WHAT A WOMAN.

< Prev 🦇 Next >

[ouraboras]

S2, E8 and Overall Thoughts (Spoilers)

If we don't get season 3 I'll end up on the news. This is more string of consciousness but oh well.

First, I love everything with Richter and Annette. No complicated feels, no note. Though I do wonder if we get a season 3 how it will be handled. Season 3 and most of 4 of the first series kept the Belmont, mage, and Alucard apart. They might do the same thing again. We might get a timeskip and an opening like SotN.

I don't like how we go from seeing Alucard pinned to the ground with his own sword through the heart(?) to just standing there in the sun. I wish there was an in-between. I knew they wouldn't kill him but still.

I'll be interested to see where they take Olrox and Mizrak if they get a season 3. Especially since we see how they treated Tera's character (we'll get to that, trust me). There is a lot they could do with it. Mizrak was quite religious so his arc of wrestling with his faith can go in a very interesting direction.

I was VERY surprised with that blush on Maria's face. Now, I'm not going to touch that discourse. There is nothing the showrunners could do to please everyone. A lot of people ship them, a lot of people find the age thing weird. I chose to create a weird little Dutch man to smooch Alucard. We all have our own freewill.

I figured that if they were going to have them end up together they'd have them not meet (similar to how in canon they didn't meet until SotN). I found everything with them ambiguous until that.

I found Alucard's expression of hurt(?) interesting when she said those who worked with the vampires deserve to die. And the cut to Tera with that weird ass expression watching with the shadow thing (OH I'LL GET TO MY THOUGHTS ON THAT FUCKER). This might just be me but yeah, go off queen. She isn't saying all those who fraternize with vampires deserve to die. I'm guessing Alucard's (hurt?) is one of two things. Either:

"She doesn't like vampires and humans interacting :("

He sees some of himself in her. She killed her own father and her mother "died". However, she has the opportunity to interact with her mother. Something Alucard was and will never be able to do (Unless the show kept the thing where they moved to England at the end of S4). She is throwing that away

Maybe it's a mix of the two or something I am missing. I'll be on the lookout for analysis.

Shadow. Man. I am HOPING that I was right in my OG theory (which ended up ultimately being wrong FOR THIS SEASON). My theory isn't dead yet! If you haven't read it: in Castlevania their is an entity which is the source of Dracula's powers called Chaos. I theorized that that was him and we'd see a Dracula resurrection at the end. We didn't get this. But we still can! Now, is this theory ultimately selfish wish fulfillment because I desperately want a Soma Cruz season: Yes.

I'm guessing shadow man wants Maria's soul. Hopefully we get a season 4 or his existence will bother me. Fingers crossed.

I am fascinated by Tera's character arc. I feel like S1 had a lot to say about colonialism. I feel like the themes of this season were life, death, and grief. I've always found exploring those themes through vampirism interesting (you'll know that if you've read my fic). I had figured they'd take her in a more stereotypical direction but I am pleasantly surprised. I love the way they animated her to give her a profound sense of wrongness. I could (and may) analyze why she got that treatment compared to the other vampires. Likely it is because we are seeing her as those who knew her in life see her, all her life and love gone. But I think there is something to be said for a vampire who has made peace and found themself vs. one who is newly turned.

Overall, I loved this season. The brain worms are back. There things which I think could have been polished. But I have nowhere near the amount of issues with it as I did S3+4.

[bonesandthebees]

Adofn update: I am a little over 100 pages in. I struggled to put to book down because I needed to cook. It’s amazing how much can happen before the red plague even gets here.

And I like the focus on the cultural aspects in this book. I feel like Priory was most focused on the culture of Inys as well as the dragon riding culture because that’s just where e spend the most time. It’s fun to really get to see how the priory works. To get that bit of northern culture. But most importantly I love the focus on the female side of it all.

I feel like this is very much a story about bringing on the next generation / continuing for the next generation (especially in the context of this being the Dark Ages). Like the prologue is all about a daughter getting born. The start of the new generation. Then there’s Dumai who will hopefully be the empress to break free from Kuposa control. Tuvara’s daughter (I know it starts with an S but the name escapes me) being pregnant and running away. And Glorian being stuck as a chain in the link of Virtudom told she’ll marry a man she hates in 1,5 years without any choice to bring forth the next generation she does not want.

And again, no dark ages yet! This is all set up! I do like the pace waaaaayyyyy more than priory at this point in time. Though the lull there came around 230 ish pages so there’s still time.

Also, I really like being able to put pieces together with the backstory I remember from Priory. I’m sure I don’t remember all the tidbits she put in there, but I do know where Glorian’s story is going. Poor girl. And her parents do love each other so much. Like I get it was a tactical marriage on Sabran’s behalf, but she did feel attraction to that man, and he felt the same for her. Unless her telling Glorian she does not have to spend time with her companion if she does not like him is her indirectly admitting to the same fate. We know she’s a flawless actress.

And I am so her for Dumai’s plot of being out on the throne without training. “Your father will rule from a shadow court. You will not be alone.” Me, knowing the red plague is coming: 😭😭😭. I’m interested to see how and when she will lock down the country, because I assume that will be her doing.

Also, Priory lesbians! I love them! I love the gender rolls less. Just let them be what they want! Learning about the ranks has been interesting. I fear for everyone when the wryms return. Also worried non of the pov character’s are Eadaz’s bloodline. Like there’s a baby on the way and we know it will continue, but I am stressed. We have 3 (soon to be 4) of them and I do not think all of them survive the dark ages. Also the prioress wasn’t kidding, that bloodline can be rebellious as fuck.

Anyway, this has been my ramble. You probably can’t respond to everything because spoilers, but maybe you’ll enjoy my thoughts.

-🌲

adofn is SO hard to put down it's so so good, the pace is such an improvement compared to priory too

and yes I absolutely love the focus we get on both culture and daily life! we get to see how the priory functions on a normal day to day basis, we get to see how life in the royal court of seikii works, we get to learn more about what it's like to actually be a Berethnet queen—it's so interesting to get such a deep dive into the different aspects of this world that we only got glimpses into in the original novel.

yeah this definitely feels like a novel about the new generation coming into their own, especially in the wake of the dark ages. all of these young women growing up while we as the audience know that they're right on the precipice of one of the worst years in the world's history.

glorian my babygirl. you think you know her story but getting to see it through her eyes is completely different imo. you get such a real sense of just how young she is when all of this goes down. she's a child. and she deserves better!! I love glorian so much like that is my DAUGHTER

dumai's plot is so so fascinating and absolutely does not go where you think it's going so I can't wait for you to get further ahead with that. but yeah I love dumai literally being tossed into the deep end of royal politics when like, a few weeks earlier she'd spent her entire life on top of a mountain. she is going Through It.

I love Tuva and Esbar so much (well, I have my beef with Esbar but I love her as a complex character. I adore Tuva so much though). personally I think the gender roles are really interesting in the priory and also just in the world of the books in general? not in a "I think these are good" way but more so in a way where I think it's super interesting how samantha shannon explores restrictive gender roles in a setting where technically equality has been 'achieved' and women aren't viewed as being any less than men, but at the same time you still find these restrictive gender roles in different parts of the world. of course they exist in the priory with the roles the women play vs the men, but also with the berethnet queens and the role they are forced to play continuing the generations to protect the world from the nameless one regardless of whether or not they want to bear a child. sexism still exists in the universe but it's done in a very subtle and complex way and I just think it's a very interesting angle that shannon explores

I can't wait to hear more as you get further into it I love this book so much

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 - Three spicy/spoilery reviews

The reviewers are just saying whatever they want, I guess! O_O

Here's my favorite bits from TheWrap, ComicBook, and IGN.

I've decided to mix and match them, comparing what they each say about similar themes/topics/reveals.

ELEVATING THE SOURCE MATERIAL

TELL IT! It's about adding DEPTH, y'all, not just a 1:1 page-to-screen.

Intellectual horror, instead of psychological horror--fascinating.

An "even more authentic adaptation" -- WE BEEN KNEW!!! I roll my eyes at book stans who hate on the show, acting like the movie was more accurate just cuz it was set during slavery times with white actors. 🙄 Like PLEASE, there's so much missing from the movie, or glossed over, or straight up changed, that the show-antis just demonstrate how shallow they are when their every attack hinges on the timeline/race/age changes. Cry harder.

MORE elevated than Season 1--you love to see it.

Yaaas, bring on the petty melodramatic mess, and fierce performances! 👏

CLAUDIA & MADELEINE

Because Bailey used profanity to convey her agony being a woman trapped in an adolescent's body in S1 too, I'm assuming Delainey will just cuss more? But cussing is all over the show, so I don't get it.

Everyone keeps raving about Roxane as Madeleine, but they've been SO CLOSE-LIPPED about her scenes, and it's KILLING me. 😭

"Deeply willful around Louis"--yeah, we saw a glimpse of that in the trailer; it's what he deserves. Give 'em hell, Claudia!

And yeah, she's PISSED that they cast her as Baby LouLou--imagine, being infantalized, and given the name of the father you've already gone through so much to emancipate yourself from as a "Brother" instead of "Daddy Lou." 😒 Eff Louis--where's Claudia's scythe at!?

LOUIS / LOUMAND

"Nonsense--" TheWrap isn't holding back a single punch huh?

"dating show contestants feigning authenticity to clumsily present themselves in the best light--" oof. 💀

Holy god; "begging the question...if Louis has just traded one abuser for another" GO AWF! 🚩🚩🚩

DANIEL / DEVIL'S MINION

Wow, so this must refer to Episode 5 from the episode titles list released recently. "Genuine horror".... 😈

RIP. 💀 Youngmaniel might see some action, but Oldmaniel's "utterly allergic and adversarial;" OOF. 💀💀

ARMAND

They keep saying petty. 😅 These messy queens are a trip!

"Far more powerful" -- I am SEATED~! I wanna see THE coven master!

Yaaas, come through Children of Satan/Darkness acolyte! 😈

"Scarred and transformed by the same man" -- they sound like war veterans. U_U

LESTAT / LOUSTAT

"the show's primary villain--" say it louder. Book stans need to stop projecting post-IWTV Lestat the hero/protagonist/MC into the narrative that LOUIS is telling, as a guy struggling to get over his ex.

"There to berate him for his poor choices--" this tracks with the trailer released today, too, where the producers said Dream-Stat would "pass judgement" on Louis' pisspoor actions.

PRODUCTION (Sets, Costumes, etc)

Yes, IWTV S1 was absolutely gorgeous; their attention to detail was immaculate. And so far it looks like S2 is gonna be just as nice. I REALLY like what I've seen of the Threatre's aesthetic.

THEATRE DES VAMPIRES & SANTIAGO

I freaking love this. XD

Agreeing with him about WHAT though? 🤨 That Louis & Claudia are hiding things? Or that they deserve to die because of it? (Especially since Lestat is OBVIOUSLY not actually dead, so what "crime/rules" are they actually breaking, Lord Kangaroo Court?)

TALAMASCA & CRITIQUES

Thank you lord god kamisama flying spaghetti monster he's a Talamascan, not another secret vampire.

But now I'm nervous, thanks to the ComicBook review:

Uh oh. The Talamasca feels forced & out of place. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The AVENGERS INITIATIVE. 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

But they say it feels like "Daniel's being recruited--" YES PLEASE. 🙏 If Daniel's not gonna be a vampire, at least let him be a Talamascan. Ain't no way he can return to the mundane world after all this.

My BIGGEST complaint about IWTV as a franchise is its tenuous connection to the Immortals Universe. AMC is dropping the ball hard on creating an ARCU--Anne Rice's Cinematic Universe. There are SO MANY immortals & supernaturals we should've BEEN seen in S1, walking the streets of NOLA. I will say this every time: Oncle Vervain Mayfair should've been brought in from the OG pilot script. We should've seen Louis go to him for gris-gris before the poker game, and introduce Lestat to Vervain as a practitioner of what Louis thought was "European voodoo." Also: we should've seen Lasher. There should've been a scene where the Mayfairs told the vampires to GTFO their territory, and keep their hunting grounds on the other side of town. Like, the Mayfair Witches show sucks like you wouldn't believe, it's so stupid (looks gorgeous though), but the WORLDBUILDING is ripe for the taking! And AMC did squat with it!

Like, tbh, I don't see the point of a whole Talamasca show, and if it's handled by Esta & the gang from MW, then I don't wanna see it--I WILL, ofc, but I won't WANT to. Especially since we haven't seen any ghosts. ISTG, PLEASE have Merrick Mayfair in Ep7 or Ep8--not only will that bridge IWTV with MW, but it can perfectly lead to Blackwood Farm., while keeping the threads between vampires, ghosts, AND the Taltos (if they're determined to do a Lestat/Rowan crossover from Blood Canticle 🤢🤮).

I was wondering why so many reviews were giving it 4/5 or 9/10, like wtf are y'all being so stingy for!? But if this is the problem, then I'm not surprised, I've been complaining about it the whole time.

[lucky-ladybugs-lovelies]

One of the interesting things writing for KH Seph is figuring out his backstory and what should stay the same as FF7 and what should be turned on its head.

17 years ago, I had a backstory for him where his Lucrecia actually had a backbone and a conscience before it was too late and got him away from Hojo. She left him with adoptive parents and hence, he actually had a normal upbringing. I wasn’t sure I was going to use that for the current timeline, but after testing it a bit in an RP, I decided I still wanted to use it. Fleshing it out a bit in my mind, this is what I think went down:

Hojo experimented on himself with all sorts of stuff he shouldn’t have been messing with. Then he wanted to see if a kid of his would inherit all the powers and such. So he and his lab assistant, who was all into it at the time, got married and had a beautiful boy with silver hair and fire powers. Hojo was delighted. He and Lucrecia watched Sephiroth for a time, both all into it, and when Sephiroth showed amazing aptitude and ability to learn how to hone his powers at an extremely early age, Hojo started planning to make tests on his heart. This finally alarmed Lucrecia and she ran away with Sephiroth. They were on the run for a while until she found a couple she liked. She watched them for a time, making sure they seemed like they’d be good parents, and then approached them, telling of being on the run from her abusive husband for fear of her son’s life and that she needed to leave her son where he would be safe. The couple was overjoyed to be blessed with a child and were fascinated rather than alarmed or upset by Sephiroth’s fire powers. They vowed to teach him how to control them with love. Lucrecia, relieved, disappeared into the night, never having given her name.

Sephiroth grew up happy, learning how to be a hero from his adopted father, a retired military man, and his mother, who wrote for the local newspaper. With their loving guidance, he became more and more adept with his fire powers and learned more spells. At age five, he rescued a cat from a tree and this first act of heroism made him so happy and feel so free, he created wings from the strength of his heart. His parents, though initially stunned, quickly adapted to this as well, his mother especially doting on the wings and caring for them.

Sephiroth was mature beyond his years and was usually with other adults rather than children. When he went to be Phil to be officially trained as a hero in his teenage years, he met Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos and they became his first real friends around his age. Angeal remained his friend, while Genesis dissolved into jealousy and hatred over Sephiroth’s prowess and abilities and how he was the most recognized and loved of the three. He distanced himself from the others and was not really around much when Sephiroth discovered Zack and saw his hero potential. When Phil wouldn’t train Zack, Sephiroth took Zack with him and began training him himself. Angeal was sometimes around during this time, liking Zack and comparing him to a puppy. Eventually, however, Angeal too left, apparently going with Genesis to wherever Genesis was going.

Sephiroth and Zack became deeply close, far more than mentor and student and more like brothers. Zack moved in with Sephiroth and his parents, and they loved him too.

When the Heartless overran Radiant Garden and the survivors were forced to flee, Sephiroth was deeply affected and upset that he had not been able to stop what had happened. He began a search for a way to get rid of the Heartless for good. Zack accompanied him, worried as Sephiroth became more and more obsessed with his goal and delved deeper and deeper into dark magic to find a solution. Nothing Zack said deterred Sephiroth from his plans.

One night, going through an old library on another world, the two encountered Genesis again. Warped and twisted by hatred and perhaps something else, something unknown, he told Sephiroth that he and Angeal had been experimented on by a mad scientist throughout their lives and that there should have been a third child as well, a child who had been stolen from the laboratory at a young age. He showed a picture of a boy who might have been Sephiroth, but the lighting was not good enough to tell. Sephiroth was angry and hurt that Genesis was telling him these things and wondered why. Genesis said it would make them equals and Sephiroth would not be better than him any longer. Even more deeply hurt, Sephiroth read over the information and found that the mad scientist claimed that the third boy was his son. Genesis flew into a rage at this news, which would have again made Sephiroth the favorite, and set fire to the library. Sephiroth and Zack struggled to put it out before it could harm the town below.

(I’m still not sure what’s going on with Genesis, but it’s definitely deeper than it appears on the surface. Even though I struggle with my feelings about him, I can never write him as just a one-dimensional, completely petty person swallowed up in jealousy. He can be petty and jealous, absolutely, but he’s a lot more than that and I’ve always tried to reflect that.)

When Sephiroth finally finds the artifact he’s been searching for to defeat the Heartless and he and Zack try to fight them, the dark magic takes Sephiroth over and he starts attacking Heartless and humans alike. Horrified, Zack tries to stop him but can’t break the spell. Eventually, distracted by the problem, he is surrounded by Heartless and falls from a cliff fighting them.

This horror snaps Sephiroth out of it, but he is never the same. Blaming himself and desperately searching high and low in case Zack has somehow survived, Sephiroth feels tainted and unable to call himself a hero any more after this. His parents can do nothing to ease his heartbreak and sorrow, and they worry for him as he struggles to make sense of his life. He trains vigorously so that nothing can ever take control of him again and eventually learns to control the Heartless. Rumors circle that he is dangerous, a villain instead of a hero, and actual villains fear him because he has the power to take control of their armies and turn them against them. Sephiroth allows people to think what they will, especially since in his grief and guilt and self-hatred, he believes he is a villain.

He turns his attention to Zack’s friend Cloud, who once idolized Sephiroth but now is drowning in his own darkness and hates Sephiroth for what happened to Zack. Sephiroth sees in Cloud something of himself when he was falling to the darkness and sets about trying to help him, telling Cloud things about himself that Cloud doesn’t want to accept and using reverse psychology to try to get Cloud to determine he’s better than to give in to the dark. But Cloud, unfortunately, has a very vivid imagination and decides Sephiroth is the physical manifestation of the darkness in his heart. Sephiroth initially mocks this nonsense, but then tries to use it as part of his reverse psychology approach. This backfires badly, with Cloud only becoming more convinced that it’s true and never considering other options.

Somewhere along the way, another Heartless attack appears to claim the lives of Sephiroth’s parents, leaving him completely alone and despondent, without his last link to normalcy and love. Merlin, who has been aware of Sephiroth for a long time and sees the good in him that he can no longer see in himself, takes it upon himself to be a mentor figure and be there for Sephiroth when no one else can be. Sephiroth is surprised and somewhat awkward at first, but desperately needs this and is responsive to Merlin’s kindness and concern.

Sephiroth continues to try to help Cloud, with very little success. Eventually, however, Sephiroth puts Cloud in an elaborate illusory test to see if he will choose the light or sink into the darkness. Cloud nearly tries to kill Sephiroth out of rage but stops himself and Sephiroth tells him he passed the test.

From this point on, Cloud begins to see what’s happening in a new light and starts to become confused and unsure about Sephiroth. Deep down, he still loves Sephiroth, and this comes out more and more during their ensuing encounters until at last Cloud saves Sephiroth’s life with love when he is struck down by a poisoned knife courtesy of The Evil Queen. This is a shock to both of them, with Cloud unable to face or accept his feelings for some time even after this pivotal point. When he hurts Sephiroth due to being put under a hate spell by The Evil Queen and Sephiroth breaks it with an act of true love of his own, Cloud is grief-stricken and realizes how unfair and cruel it is to blame Sephiroth for Zack’s fall after being mind-controlled himself.

As they begin to come to understand each other’s feelings, Zack finally makes it back to them, alive but with amnesia. He remembers they’re dear to him but little else at first, until being around them and experiencing the problems they’re going through brings back the rest of his memories. He doesn’t blame Sephiroth at all, but blames himself for not being able to get through to him and is just happy Sephiroth (and Cloud) didn’t stay lost in the darkness. The three of them decide to be a family together. Sephiroth has his happily ever after, but it’s a beginning, not an ending.

And there are more surprises in store when they discover Maleficent was keeping some hostages she found who survived the Heartless attacks, including Sephiroth’s and Zack’s parents and Cloud’s mother….

Personality-wise, KH Seph is more of a gremlin than sane FF Seph but not as much as insane FF Seph. He loves to tease Cloud, but it’s all in good fun. He isn’t weighed down by the magnitude of what FF Seph has always had to deal with, but he sorrows plenty over his own mistakes. Since he chose the life of a hero instead of it being forced on him, this also results in a glaring personality difference. Both, however, are loving, loyal, and protective.

[aurora567]

Kinktober Day 2 pussy worship- Aoi /Deku(MHA)

Warning: this story will contain mature content such as but not limited to sex, cursing, body and pussy worship. Characters are aged up as is the norm for most of my works.

Summary: Welcome to day two of kinktober. Enjoy some Aoi and Deku finally hooking up. Keep an eye out in my story Lyrical Abstraction as you may see some of this oneshot later on.

Word count: 1730

Last Next

She couldn’t help the blush that peppered her own cheeks. Though it was nothing compared to the blush that swallowed up his freckles. His blush only made hers worse in term. She wanted to call it annoying but she couldn’t. It was rather adorable watching his freckles disappear with just the sight of her body. Often she didn’t even need to show off much. A long shirt and panties was enough to have his face on fire and unable to look at her. It was oddly and completely adorable to watch. 

Even now his wide green eyes were locked on her chest and all she had done was take off her shirt. She rarely wore bras around the apartment even if it clearly made him uneasy. He chose to live with her and she refused to always wear pants and bras. But as her top came off she was left naked from the waist up. Nipples hard and on display and he looked nearly hypnotized as she sat on his bed topless. 

She had to bite back the urge to laugh. He looked both terrified and entranced. The big, mountain man that was the number one hero looked terrified of two simple boobs sitting right in front of him. Who knew that would be his weakness. Out of all things out there, boobs stopped the hero in his tracks. She wasn’t even sure if he was breathing any more. 

She could not hold back. Her right hand lifted up to hide her lips and she started to laugh. That seemed to break the trance that he was in as those big green eyes of his fluttered a few times and he looked up from her boobs to her face. She could see the shame and embarrassment washing over him. 

“Sorry,” he had squeaked out. 

“No need. You don’t have to apologize Izuku. You are allowed to look all you want. You can even touch them if you want,” she offered and watched as his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He was rather cute when he was all shy like this. 

How could someone look so fascinated and scared at the same time. He looked like he wanted to reach out and touch her but was scared one of her boobs may bite a finger off. Trying not to laugh was getting harder and harder as she sat there watching him. 

“Well have you decided to stay and face me or run? Cause you look like you want to turn and run away. You’re kinda hurting the Deku brand looking so scared. Come on, I promise I won’t bite,” she said as she looked up at him. For a split second she thought he was going to turn away and run from her. But he didn’t, instead she watched him take a hesitant step closer to her and the bed. 

Oh it had seemed he had grown a back bone after all. He did not turn and run from her. No, he was quickly eliminating the gap between them. She watched as he hit the edge of the bed and had not stopped there. He hesitated for a moment but it quickly became clear she was not going to stop him. No, on the contrary she even spread her legs slightly for him. Her panties may have still been covering her lower half but the intent was clear. She was trying to show herself off to him, invite him in even. 

And he excepted her little invite as he started to crawl across the bed and towards her. It was easy for her to forget how large he was. But as his body swept over hers it was a quick reminder. He didn’t stop till his nose brushed hers as she was sitting there. 

“I don’t back down from a challenge,” as he spoke, his lips brushed hers. And yet as he spoke she was the one with the growing grin. 

“Good you better not hold back,” she challenged him. She may come to regret those words later. But for now she stood by her desire to challenge him. 

His lips met hers in a deep kiss. Tongues slipped past lips to dance together. One large scarred hand reached up to cup a breast. The skin of his hand was rough, from his fingertips to his palm. A testament to his work as a hero. She had expected his hands to feel like sandpaper against her sensitive skin. She was pleasantly proven wrong when the contraction of his skin against hers illicit a moan from her. 

His lips swallowed up the noise she made. But she could feel the corner of his lips tug upwards as it was clear he liked hearing her moan, or know that he could make her moan. In retaliation she playfully nipped at his bottom lip. Which just earned her a deep throaty chuckle from the man. And oh did that chuckle do things to her. 

With one gentle shove of a hand on her shoulder she found herself laying back on the bed blinking big brown eyes up at him. His head dipped down as if to follow her lips but instead dipped even lower and he took a hard nipple between his lips. Once again he had her moaning. 

Teeth nipped at her perky little nipple. The sensation shot a shiver up her back. Her back arched with the shiver as she cried out at the pleasure as he teased her. She wanted to curse at him. He was doing this to get back at her for having bit his lip she was sure. And yet she could not really be upset with him. Not with the pleasure it brought her. 

His lips sucked as his tongue flicked her nipple. Loving on one before moving to show the exact same love to the other nipple. Being the gentleman he was, he made sure to keep things fair. He did not show more love to one nipple without returning the same love to the other. 

She was so distracted she almost missed the hand that was sliding down her body. With a pop of his lips she watched that mop of green hair pull back. He flashed her a wolfish grin before he was sliding down her body to stop as he reached her panty clad pussy. His face was nearly flush with her panties. So close she could feel his breath against the damp spot of the cotton. 

Silently his tongue rolled out past his lips and she could feel the muscle push against the barrier between them. That sent a jolt through her. Not the same pleasure as it would have been if his tongue touched her folds. But still as the muscle pushed against her folds and explored her over her panties she was moaning.

She wanted to cry out in frustration. It felt good but she knew it could feel so much better. Her right hand reached down and she was entangling her fingers in his green curls. Pulling his head away she couldn’t help but growl at him as she was already panting heavily.

“Izuku I swear to fucking god if you do not stop teasing me,” she hissed at him as she tried so hard to sound as threatening as she could. With her heavy panting and deep flushed face she doubted she looked as threatening as she was trying to be. 

As if to prove she could not threaten and scare him she could hear that deep chested chuckle. The one that made her insides go crazy, walls clamping down around nothing and forcing her body to beg for him. She refused to beg for anything. 

“Okay okay,” the man chuckled at her as he gave in to her demand. Even though they both knew she did not have a hope in hell of actually enforcing her threat. After all, what could she do? This man was taller and stronger than her. Using brute force on the number one hero would be like an ant trying to lift an elephant alone. They lived together, she could try hiding stuff like his favourite clothes, or his compression wraps for his arms. But that would feel like a real dick move. And she would never dare touch his All Might collection. It was useless to threaten him. Still he gave in to her anyways. 

His fingers tugged her panties down quickly. And with that the barrier between them was gone. If she did not know better she would have thought the man had been starved for days. For exactly three seconds he had admired the view. And then he had delved in and was trying to devour her. Her shoulders arched up as her stomach had tightened and she felt like the damn man had just tried to pull her soul out of her cunt. 

She wasn’t even sure what noise she even made, a mixture of a squawk of surprise with a strangled moan. Both her hands found themselves entangled in his hair. She was not sure if she was trying to pull him closer or push him away. His tongue delved deep between her folds. His nose would brush and bump her clit and draw a cry of pleasure from her when he did. 

She was pretty sure the muscles in one thigh cramp led as her thighs attempted to crush his head that was buried between her legs. She wasn’t even sure if she could get her lips to work for him. He was driving her body hard and fast towards a climax. And she could not hold it back or slow it down if she wanted to. The ball of tension in her stomach was blowing up like a balloon. She tried to say his name, to say something. Instead all she could do was give rough tugs at his hair as her only warning. 

She couldn’t stop the scream she let out once the balloon had popped. Her body tensed and convulsed as the pleasure washed over her in waves. That stupid tongue lazily lapped at the juices that now soaked his face and his bedsheets. Her grip in his hair loosened as her body went limp and she turned into a panting wet mess as his face finally pulled away from her.

Next day

[phychohex]

I Met a Vampire Down in Santa Carla (CH 13)

(TRIGGER WARNING: Thoughts of self-harm and death but no action is taken and mentions of past abuse)

I look in the mirror dreading the events of this dinner tonight. I decided to wear a brown dress with a comfy brown sweater. I was told to dress up. I do a small winged eyeliner with brown eyeshadow and light pink lipgloss. This week has been hell. I have had no contact with everyone. I just didn't want to be around anyone, especially the boys. I'm still beyond pissed with David and with what he did. Even so, he was in my head and heart which only drove me deeper into my anger. My mental health has been shit this week as well. I have yet to get a call from Oscar about the changes being made for me to be able to come back to work in a safe environment. On top of everything we had to cancel band practice which gave me zero excuse to leave the house. 

I hear a knock on my door and I open it to see my mom in her Sunday finest. I had to go to church with them this morning and barely got to meet who the hell we were supposed to be having dinner with. The entire time we were there though Steve kept boasting about how he has his girl back. He thinks it is back to how it was before I knew his true nature. Back when I was still a kid who saw the world through rose tinted lens. "It's time to go," She smiles. I follow her downstairs to see Steve in a suit. It made me feel underdressed. He eyes me up and down with a wide grin. He was eating this shit up. 

"Amazing. You look great all covered no tattoos showing. Little heavy on the makeup but besides that." He shrugs. "We are going to take your car." I knew why he wanted to take my car. It is a fucking badass car compared to his fucking minivan. 

"I'm driving then," I frown. There was no way in hell I was letting someone else drive my car.

"You don't know where we are going though," He frowns "Come on you have been so good this week don't fuck it up now." I didn't feel like fighting. I hand him the keys feeling another part of myself break. We drove to a nice sit-down Italian restaurant. When we get there we wait to sit for the family to come. After ten or so minutes a woman around mom's age comes in with a young man. Probably not much older than me.  As well as an older man who was just as clean-shaven as Steve. They hug and laugh greeting each other. 

"You must be Aroura," The woman smiles shaking my hand. I smile and nod. 

"Call me Rory" I smile I look over at her son who shakes my hand. 

"I'm James it's a pleasure to meet you," 

"Same," I lie. I did not want to be here and I was trying my best to make it not seem that way. I thought there would be more people but it was just them. When Steve told me church friends I figured it would be more than just three people. I didn't care though Steve already said he was paying for the dinner which meant free food. We get seated Mom sitting next to me and the woman sitting across from my mom her son sitting across from me. The two 'heads of the house' sat at the ends of the table. 

"So Rory," The man starts. He unfolds his napkin onto his lap before crossing his fingers together and looking me in the eye. "What do you do for work? Steve was just telling me you were looking for one." 

"Oh no sir I'm not. I still have one there are just some things that need sorting out. I'm a tattoo artist," I smile. The man seemed intrigued. 

"James here is in college for a doctorate, how harmful are tattoos son?" He asks, James is taken aback. 

"They aren't really as long as everything is sterile. Tattoos have been around for hundreds of years. Although it is against the rules of god. Leviticus 19:28 You shall not make any gashes in your flesh for the dead or tattoo any marks upon you." He qouts. "Do you have tattoos?"

"Yeah, I do," I nod I get a glare from Steve as if I wasn't supposed to be honest. "What kind of doctorate are you getting?"

"neurology" He smiles "The brain is quite fascinating I'd love to talk more about it but I don't want to hog the table," There is a bit of quiet laughter. The waitress comes to get our drinks and orders. I decided to play safe with ice water and alfredo. "You know they have ways to remove tattoos." 

"Yeah, I know" I sip my water "It's expensive," 

"Enough about work," The woman, whose name is Amber, speaks. "Let's talk about hobbies or something else it's always work with the men." She chuckles. "Steve says you moved back after a bad breakup and needed help." I glare at Steve. "Have you found or met anyone since being here?" 

"I thought I did." I admit "But I don't think it's a good fit. To be honest I think I'm done trying to find someone," 

"Well, what if someone was found for you?" She suggests "There are plenty of good men in town." 

"Amber," Her husband scolds. 

"It's fine" I smile "I just don't know if I am over all the stuff that made me leave so love isn't in the picture for me." The food gets here and I try to get the conversation off of me. The group managed to talk about something else with James and I striking up a conversation about hobbies. We both have similar interests and it wasn't a total bust. 

"Gosh, I would say this is a success!" Amber smiles. "The marriage will be beautiful," Her husband agreed. 

"What marriage?" The table went silent. 

"Yours." Steve smiles "This was so you and James could meet. We have agreed that an arranged marriage should be a good option for you both. A god holy man to steer you in the right direction and him for his own reasons." I look at my mom who just stares down at her plate. 

"No," I stand up "I'm sorry but I had no knowledge of the reasons I was invited, and while I'm flattered I decline. Now if you excuse me I'm leaving," I get up and leave the restaurant heading to nowhere. I see a bar and decide to fuck off in there. "Shot of vodka please make it two," I groan and am quickly given my drinks. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to run away like I always have. I wanted to call him. I groan ordering another round and letting the alcohol wash away any convictions I have. I want him out of my mind. This was sad he left me on the side of the road for Christ's sake. Maybe arranged marriage isn't the worst thing in the world. I refuse to let Steve control another aspect of my life though. Speaking of the bastard he was storming into the bar. 

"Get up" he snaps. "We are leaving" 

"Fuck you," I snap. He pays my tab before grabbing my arm and dragging me out of the bar. He throws me into the backseat of my own car. 

"You are an embarrassment," He snaps "I did what I could to raise you and this is how you turn out a drunken whore sloshing herself away at a bar because you are afraid to commit to a good man." 

"Excuse me for not wanting to marry a guy I just met," 

"Says the one who ran off with the first guy to say he loved you. How did that work out for you hmm? All beat and used, you should be thanking me that I found a man who is willing to overlook all of that." We pull into the driveway and I get out, him following me. Berating me as I slam and lock the door in his face. He bangs on it nearly breaking it down as I sob. I wanted what he said not to be true but it was. I felt like my world was crumbling down into nothing. By the time he left, I was done crying. I felt numb. I look at my desk knowing a box cutter was in there. Debating if I should just end it. The thought scared me but it wasn't a thought I hadn't had before. I could picture my funeral and Steve saying I took the coward's way out. That I ran away again. I decide against it and just go to bed. 

I spent the next couple of days trapped in my room barely coming out. If it wasn't for food or the bathroom then I spent it in my room. Tonight was dnd but I called telling them I was sick. I haven't told anyone about the arranged marriage trick that Steve pulled. I try to focus on anything else by venting in a journal. It was late but I couldn't sleep. So when a tap on the balcony door was heard I thought I was hallucinating. I look at the door hoping I didn't hear it again only for it to be louder this time. Who the hell is up here? I get up grabbing a bat that I kept for protection. I move the curtain to see David. I roll my eyes and open the balcony door. "The fuck do you want?" I snap "How the hell are you up here?" 

"I came here to see where you've been," I laugh. 

"on the side of the road," I roll my eyes "I'd rather not talk or see you right now so climb down and go away," 

"I can explain," He was getting annoyed and I was done with taking peoples bullshit. 

"Explain! You took off! I had to walk five fucking with glass in my foot! In the dark mind you! Everything is fucked! I leave one abusive prick to live with another who not even a week ago tried to marry me off, I'm done! I'm done being a toy to fucked up men being seen as a trading tool! I'm so tired with life honestly unless you have a really good reason for ditching me then I don't want to hear it!" I yell. 

"Your blood," He starts 

"Aw, what's wrong poor baby can't handle a wittle bwood. Well, do I have news for you asshole!" 

"Shut up!" He yells back having had enough of my meltdown.

"NO! I WILL NOT SHUT UP!" I step up to him anger flowing through my veins. He grabs me around my waist and suddenly we are above my house. I hold onto him for dear life his face having changed, his brow bone more pronounced. His eyes were a bright yellow with fangs protruding from his mouth. 

"If I stayed I would've drained you and we don't want that now do we" I was terrified. He is a fucking vampire. I shake my head holding on tight. I look down and scream. "Don't panic I'm not going to drop you" He laughs. I wrap my arms around his neck. I hide my face in his chest as my body trembles. I feel the wind blowing past me. 

"P-P-Please just put me down" I beg. He gently places me in an unfamiliar place. On a set of train tracks. I was shaking like a newborn baby dear. He holds my arms as my knees almost give out. "You're a vampire?" I looked to see his face was back to normal. 

"No shit," His smile was mischievous. 

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Cause of your reaction. You can barely stand up right now and the look on your face while priceless is filled with fear. I didn't want you to be scared of me." He sits me down as my mind races with questions. 

"Are there more out there? Are the boys vampires too." 

"Yeah, I'm the leader. I turned them. What else do you need to know,"

"Are you guys the reason this is the murder capital."

"Can't take all the credit but we certainly add to it. If your next question is why you are still alive is because I like you. When we met I was drawn to you and you piqued my interest." His arm was behind my back almost wrapped around me. 

"So all the things you told me about your past were they lies?"

"I couldn't just out and tell you everything. Before I was a vampire I was a rancher at around 19 I found Max who later turned me, I didn't lie just didn't say the whole truth." 

"How old are you?" 

"Around a hundred" My mind was shell-shocked. He has been a part of wars and history or he had to have been a little bit. 

"Did you own slaves," He was taken aback by this and shook his head. 

"Too poor," Well at least he is honest.

"Did you want to," he gives me a deadpan look. "Sorry, it's just a question." 

"No, I didn't want slaves." 

"What was it like though back then I mean. Did you fight in any wars?" I started trying to probe deeper into his past my anger about him ditching me was still there but I understood why he left. It doesn't change how shitty it was but it makes it understandable. 

"God you're a nerd," He gets up. 

"Well excuse me for being curious," I roll my eyes. "Can you forgive me?" I ask fiddling with my hands "I just ghosted you and I yelled at you. I was kinda an overall bitch" 

"I had it coming," he lights a cig. "You had every right to be pissed at me"

"I'm still sorry" I look up. 

"You do that a lot you know. Say sorry. Who is hurting you here." My eyes widen. 

"What do you mean?"

"Don't bullshit me. At the house, you said you left an abusive prick for another. I want to know who is hurting you." His tone was filled with rage. I knew I couldn't lie to him I was in too deep. 

"It isn't anything horrible. Just some verbal abuse nothing I can't handle." I lie I knew now how dangerous he is and if I say anything along the lines of what is actually going on Steve is dead and that will just cause more problems. I stand up and we walk off the tracks hearing a train coming. 

"That didn't answer my question though sweetheart," I blush at the nickname. 

"Steve" I mutter. "But like I said I can handle it he did the same shit before I left. I have handled worse from my ex." I huff remembering all the pain that man put me through. "I left when I was sixteen he was older and was a way out. It was good at first but then he started drinking. He would yell then hit then rape. I can handle the verbal assaults that I get now. It is nothing compared to what it was." We walk till we get to his bike. He planned on taking me here having a talk. He planned to tell me tonight whether I went willingly or not. He gets on waiting for me to get on. I wrap my arms around him holding on tight as he speeds to get me home. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to be in this very moment forever. When we got to my house though we stayed in the driveway. 

"Look I won't do anything to him but the second he steps out of line all you have to do is call me." He assures. "I meant what I said. You intrigue me and I've grown to care about you. I might hate how soft you make me but there is no use in fighting it. Tried that it didn't work." 

"Well if it's any consolation I care about you too. More than I'd like to admit." I lean against him. "I haven't cared about anyone the way I do for you." 

"Then why aren't we together" He was serious. I look him in the eyes wanting to know the answer myself. Our faces are only inches apart. I'm ready to give in. It is time to trust again. Suddenly the door opens to Steve who looks furious. I get up stopping the almost kiss wishing Steve didn't show up. "I should go," David had murder in his eyes. I knew if I said it Steve would be his next meal. 

"Y-yeah I should too it's getting late." I blush "I'll call you okay" I assure him as he gets on his bike. I wanted to kiss him goodbye but with Steve's eyes lazoring me in the head I didn't want to risk it. I watch as he drives away. We weren't together yet because of the wall I've built and the wall he is slowly chipping away at. Only a few bricks standing in the way. 

[archduchessofnowhere]

Do you know about the potential marriage between Crown Prince Rudolf and Archduchess Maria Antonietta of the Tuscan branch? Read (unsure if it's accurate) how Emperor Franz Joseph I because of her tuberculosis, but reminds of Ludwig I of Bavaria initially opposing his third son Prince Luitpold marrying Archduchess Maria Antonietta's own aunt Augusta Ferdinanda who although died young, she did also bare four children who had long lives of their own.

Hello anon! This is a subject I've tried to look into, and honestly I find it equally frustrating and fascinating.

Many of Rudolf's biographers state that his first love was Archduchess Maria Antonietta, the only child of Ferdinando, last Grand Duke of Tuscany, by his first wife Princess Anna of Saxony. The story goes that they fell in love around 1878, and as you said, that she was considered a potential bride for the Crown Prince until her tuberculosis became evident. Some authors choose to end the story there, but others go even farther and talk of a secret marriage in 1880 - which would make Rudolf's marriage to Stephanie of Belgium in 1881 invalid. Maria Antonietta eventually died in 1883, at the age of 25.

But what these biographers sometimes don't mention is that in 1937 a man called Robert Pachmann claimed that he was Rudolf and Maria Antonietta's secret love child, born a month before the archduhcess' death, and that since his alleged parents had been legally married, he was the real head of the House of Habsburg and not Otto von Habsburg, Emperor Karl I's eldest son.

While before the invention of DNA tests it was very common that a person would randomly pop out claiming they were someone famous' lost child, what I find particularly interesting about this case is how FAR the Pachmanns went, going to trial several times, to the point that in 1965 Theodor Pachmann, Robert's son, was legally recognized as a Habsburg by a Vienese regional court, and again - even more explicitly - in 1976, when a judge ruled that he was a great-grandson of Franz Josef and Ferdinando of Tuscany. All these veredicts, however, were based solely on the testimony of Robert Pachmann's mother, who in 1925 stated that her son was actually Rudolf's and Maria Antonietta's. It was only in 2013 when two of Theodor's sons finally compared their DNA against a Habsburg: Georg Hohenberg, Archduke Franz Ferdinand's grandson. Which came out negative. Despite this, Robert Pachmann's descendants still claim to be descendants of Rudolf, mostly because they don't understand why Robert and Theodor would've spent so many years at court fighting for their case if it wasn't true [x].

From left to right: Crown Prince Rudolf, Robert Pachmann, Theodor Pachmann and Rainer Pachmann (Theodor's son). From Alles aus Neugier: 40 Geschichten aus 40 Jahren by Georg Markus

At this point I was so down the rabbit hole that I thought, ok, there must have been some kind of rumor about Rudolf and Maria Antonietta, and Robert Pachmann built his story around that. After all, his descendants insist that there is evidence of a "love story" between them. But here is the thing: I can't find a single mention of a potential engagement or a rumored affair between Rudolf and Maria Antonietta from before Pachmann made his claim. In fact I can't even find a single mention of Rudolf and Maria Antonietta ever being in the same room together, though I assume they must have met at least once in court. Of course, just because I haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, so if any of you ever come across any sort of story (it doesn't matter if it's just rumors!) about Rudolf and Maria Antonietta from before 1937, please let me know!

[cow-legs]

What are some of your favorite videogames? ♡ ♡ ♡

(extremely long post incoming lol turns out i have a lot of things to say on this subject)

usually i have too hard of a time trying to remember anything i like to have answers for questions like these but thankfully for this one i have answers prepared since this is something i try to think about a lot

realistically if i had to pick one single "favorite videogame" above the rest itd probably just, like, ocarina of time & majora's mask (i'm considering them to be one videogame because i said so, it;s a package deal), just on account of how much of an impact they had on me from an early age combined with just how often i Still go back to revisit them in one way or another, but this is just about the most basic boring answer a person can have for this question unfortunately

thankfully you asked for some of my favorites instead of just one so i can unveil my Actual list of favorites instead of the one that only holds the top spot by technicality and not because i actually like it "the most". all of my favorite games have such a range in style and quality it's hard to really compare them in any meaningful way

anyway

crypt worlds, space funeral, and off-peak are all pretty different games made by very different people but i usually group them together when talking about stuff like this since collectively finding them all back in the day at roughly the same time kind of shaped my perception of indie games as a whole which probably gave me a very weird and skewed perception of the media but who gives a shit really it's a perception i hold dear. (they weren't the first indie games i ever saw of course but they were the most personally impactful ones that made me go "holy shit, this is awesome, you can do literally whatever you want")

they've pretty heavily influenced my own games, too. there have been multiple times i've started a project and then days later realized "wait shit this is just space funeral again. i'm just making space funeral again but slightly to the left. fuuuck" which is a pretty good problem to have i think.

anyway,

gadget: invention, travel, and adventure is an old point and click game i found a few years ago that struck me by just how unique feeling its atmosphere is. strange looking people turn to you and say even stranger sounding things, the soundtrack feels like its having a nervous breakdown, the main character is given so few meaningful decisions/actions (read: basically none) by the people around them that it can barely be considered a game at all…it is a very fascinating experience, and one that i think back to a lot

i like Your Turn To Die a lot and am very excited to see how it ends, though i feel like i don't have too much to say on it here. one of those games that has me going "oh man i should draw more fanart for that one of these days" every time i'm reminded of it only to then remember that i Can't Fucking Draw right now lmao

myhouse.wad is something that extremely deserves to go on this list but a large part of my brain is telling me not to just because somewhere along the line i fucked up and became allergic to anything that has ever recently become popular & trendy on youtube because i don't want to look like a poser even though literally no one but me cares about where i hear about these things so i can only bring myself to include it if i also state that i played it BEFORE it was cool &all the streamers started covering it like some kind of shameful hipster. but for real though its awesome, very inspiring stuff. i wish my brain did not force me to want to distance myself from it for literally no good reason. fucking ocarina of time is on this list why is this the thing that makes you afraid of looking like a normie

i have a lot of appreciation for myst in a kind of "i've never played more than 5 minutes of this nor have i even bothered to watch a playthrough of it but i understand what you have done for me and the games i love that came after you" kind of way. i have purchased 3 different copies of it over the years as well as a copy of riven and i don't intend on playing any of them anytime soon. great game, probably. i wouldn't know.

i like a lot of kitty horrorshow's games but i don't really know what my favorite would be. lethargy hill is probably the one i think about most often though.

i like (the steam version of) dwarf fortress a lot and have been trying to play it more often. it is very funny having 80 hours in a game and still not feeling like you understand half the mechanics in it. figuring it out as i go along has been fun though. in a similar vein i also like elden ring a lot and despite being at over 160 hours on that one i still haven't beaten it. i need to get back to it before the dlc comes out but i stopped playing for so long that most of my muscle memory is gone…

for something much more recent than all of the above, absolutely perfect specimen is something really incredible that gave me a lot of stuff to think about, though it can be a little hard to recommend since it's extremely 18+ and has a whole big list of content warnings you definitely need to take heed of. extremely interesting work though, i like it a lot.

i'm running out of things to list off and should probably stop just for the sake of time even if there is more shit that deserves mentioning so i'll just end it off with CLONE ON NET YAROZE BABYYYYYY LET'S FUCKIN GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💯💪🙌💥💯💯

[rjalker]

Now for the first time Tarzan was able to obtain a good view of the snake-men and their equally hideous mounts. The conformation of the Horibs was almost identical to man insofar as the torso and extremities were concerned. Their three-toed feet and five-toed hands were those of reptiles. The head and face resembled a snake, but pointed ears and two short horns gave a grotesque appearance that was at the same time hideous. The arms were better proportioned than the legs, which were quite shapeless. The entire body was covered with scales, although those upon the hands, feet and face were so minute as to give the impression of bare skin, a resemblance which was further emphasized by the fact that these portions of the body were a much lighter color, approximating the shiny dead whiteness of a snake's belly. They wore a single apron-like garment fashioned from a piece of very heavy hide, apparently that of some gigantic reptile. This garment was really a piece of armor, its sole purpose being, as Tarzan later learned, to cover the soft, white bellies of the Horibs. Upon the breast of each garment was a strange device—an eight-pronged cross with a circle in the center. Around his waist each Horib wore a leather belt, which supported a scabbard in which was inserted a bone knife. About each wrist and above each elbow was a band or bracelet. These completed their apparel and ornaments. In addition to his knife each Horib carried a long lance shod with bone. They sat on their grotesque mounts with their toes locked behind the elbows of the Gorobors, anomodont reptiles of the Triassic, known to paleontologists as Pareiasuri. Many of these creatures measured ten feet in length, though they stood low upon squat and powerful legs.

As Tarzan gazed in fascination upon the Horibs, whose "blood ran cold and who had no hearts," he realized that he might be gazing upon one of the vagaries of evolution, or possibly upon a replica of some form that had once existed upon the outer crust and that had blazed the trail that some, to us, unknown creature must have blazed from the age of reptiles to the age of man. Nor did it seem to him, after reflection, any more remarkable that a man-like reptile might evolve from reptiles than that birds should have done so or, as scientific discoveries are now demonstrating, mammals must have. These thoughts passed quickly, almost instantaneously, through his mind as the Horibs sat there with their beady, lidless eyes fastened upon them, but if Tarzan had been astounded by the appearance of these creatures the emotion thus aroused was nothing compared with the shock he received when one of them spoke, addressing him in the common language of the gilaks of Pellucidar. "You cannot escape," he said. "Lay down your weapons."

[savior-of-humanity]

Stepping out of my Leon S. Kennedy Brainrot briefly to nerd the fuck out on Vash the Stampede for a second (I'm also going to be putting this under the cut again because this WILL get Super Long);

Something I'm really, really, really fascinated by is just how fucking insane his reflexes are.

Like, watch the first ten seconds of this clip really quick.

Now, I should clarify that Vash, canonically, is not a human being. He's basically an alien that looks like a human but does not have the same physical limitations as the average homo sapiens.

But regardless of that? The shit he pulls off in that video, not just the whole bullet-dodging thing, is FUCKING INSANE.

Let me put this into perspective for you using the one thing that I know can remotely compare to this kind of reaction speed; a Spartan-II, aka somebody like John-117.

Spartans, as we know, are augmented. Insanely augmented. "I can shatter a man's nose by flicking it" and "I literally pulverized a man's cock and balls and shattered his entire pelvis at age 14 by kicking him in the nuts in a 1v4 against several trained soldiers" levels of augmented.

To grab a quote from Halopedia on Spartan reflexes in particular, from the Project: ASTER page specifically;

Their reaction time, while impossible to chart accurately, was estimated to be twenty milliseconds. The Spartans' reaction times were noted to be significantly faster in combat situations or with assistance from an AI. The reaction times of the SPARTAN-IIs were so fast that they, in heightened states of stress, were able to think, react and see things as if everything around them were simultaneously occurring at both a slow and rapid pace - a phenomenon dubbed "SPARTAN Time" by Kelly-087. The motion of a Spartan in combat is nearly impossible for an outsider to follow, their movement appearing as a blur. These reflexes allowed Spartans to successfully dodge gunfire on certain occasions.

Note the words, "successfully dodge gunfire on certain occasions."

Before I continue I want to also point out that, for reference's sake, a lightning strike hits the ground at around fifty milliseconds, or 270,000 miles per hour. The flash of light associated with the lightning strike? 670 MILLION miles per hour.

Now, I asked r/HaloStory on reddit for some more precise math/examples of Spartan reflexes, because I am Not Smart when it comes to math, and there's no way I'm going to give myself a headache trying to calculate the reaction time of a brick shithouse.

First, let's give some visual (and text) examples of Spartan reflexes and strength in action. Here's a clip of Cal-141 going toe-to-toe against a pissed off Jiralhanae. Here's a gif from the Forward Unto Dawn of a marine getting hit by a needler projectile, and John stepping in to tank the next hit. Here's a bit from a comic of a Spartan-II dodging a shot from a beam rifle. Here's a few text excerpts from what I believe is the Fall of Reach novel of Spartans in action; 1 2 3

Now, for some math, courtesy of a redditor; let's assume that "point-blank" range is anywhere within the range of 6 feet, at maximum, between the target and the shooter. The average 9mm bullet travels 1300 meters in a single second; it can travel 6 feet in 6/1300ths of a second, or about 4.615 milliseconds.

A Spartan-II isn't fast enough to dodge a bullet shot at them from six feet away.

VASH THE STAMPEDE IS DODGING BULLETS SHOT LESS THAN HALF A FOOT AWAY FROM HIM.

I need to repeat this because it's still fucking mindblowing even for me.

VASH THE MOTHERFUCKING STAMPEDE IS CASUALLY DODGING BULLETS SHOT LESS THAN HALF A FOOT AWAY FROM HIM.

He's literally moving so fast that it looks as though he's straight up teleporting; there's no blur of his body in motion like what you'd see in a Spartan II. You literally can't see his body moving out of the way of the bullet. The only times you see his body and clothes moving is when he's already dodged the fucking bullet.

Combined with his insane accuracy that at minimum is on the level of Linda-058, who shot a pilot out of a moving Banshee while upside down, and I genuinely think that Vash the Stampede could solo a Spartan-II, assuming he had a means of not getting into melee range of said Spartan (because while he has almost literal god-like reflexes, he is NOT that fast when he's actually running.)

[papirouge]

What’s are your views on “purity culture” among christians

I think it varies between denominations but the idea is still around mainly fundamentalists. It’s definitely important to teach women how important it is to be picky, believe in hypergamy, and ignore probably the 90% of scrotes that aren’t good people but I never really believed in flat out refusing to teach sex ed, what stds and stis are, what Plan B is, and how birth control and condoms work. Which seems like a lot of these more fundamentalists tend to do.

I had this friend who is divorced now. She grew up in that type of environment where they were very strict about her purity but ignored the boys virginity completely. Like she had two brothers who were total opposites. 1 was basically community dick and caught a disease and her parents didn’t care 💀 the other was an incel who was very anti social. And her parents were upset that they couldn’t marry him off because not even the desperate fundie girls wanted his violent outbursts. He’s still single too and approaching 40

She was married young to her ex and had no idea how sex even worked. She was only told to avoid it and it just scared her. So when she got married, she told me how her parents and church counselor were upset that she didnt turn into someone who liked sex immediately. Even kissing was new to her and she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t like it at all/avoided sleeping in the same as her husband and was told by them to suck it up when she expressed she had pain. When she got older she left that church and her husband but was ex communicated by her family for it.

Does that type of stuff happen in France?

Purity isn't much of a thing anywhere else in the world because as I said, most of USAmerican evangelicalism staples are rooted in culture not in Christianism. I've always found fascinating how France & its very liberal "sex culture" was compared to the US (age of consent is 15 years old, birth control & abortion is free, condoms are handed over in highschool, etc.) yet managed to have proportionally lower abortion rate than God fearing United States of America lol

Fundies family don't exist anywhere else in the world beside the USA anon so nope, we don't have this kind of messy affairs here. Catholicism is in a limbo here in France and real Catholic families are very rare. And even when they do, they don't hold such a spiritual grip on their members to guilt trip them into marrying someone. The only stories of people being excommunicated are bishops coming out as gay or being caught dating/having sex with women lol

The story of your divorced friend is very representative of the double standards of women virginity vs male virginity. Although it's quite normal to particularly warn off women about the consequences of sex because, unlike men, they are the ones who'll carry the baby so they have much more responsibility to deal with (as unfair it may sound). But it doesn't mean men virginity is any less relevant.

Many of women will never want a community d*ck, that's why her busted brother is still single at 40 (which is weird bc red pillers always said men got more value as they got older 🤔).

Fornicators are literally filled with demons and should be avoided at all costs.

And yet, I'm sure he's not shamed like his sister was to marry a man she was even attracted to... Her story is so sad.. but she's better off outside of this cult though. She's lucky she if she didn't have any child with him...

I think kids shouldn't be taught sex ed before middle school. I did in elementary school and it lowkey fucked me up. Even when I was 12-13 years old I had a male friend of my age who told me how many times a week he masturbated and it triggered me so bad lmao

Tbh there should be something progressive, like first learning about sexual organs, periods, how babies are made (12~13 years old), than at 15 about birth control(?) IDK the idea of teaching kids sex at school is weird to me but I think I would be even more traumatized if my mom taught me any of this because we NEVER talk about things like that lmaoo I guess it's important to build a trust relationship with your kid from start so that it's not awkward when you actually do? IDK I lowkey hate the sex talk and wish sex wasn't such a big deal in society so I'm probably not the best person to inquire about that lmaooo

[autumncrowcus]

I'm taking a class on Chinese medicine at my university, and as I was doing research for my paper, I stumbled across a comparison of the conception of microcosm and macrocosm in the West as compared to China. It's fascinating, so I want to post it. Super-long quote beneath the cut:

From Science And Civilisation In China, Vol. 2, History Of Scientific Thought, by Joseph Needham, 1956, Cambridge University Press

Pages 294-8

If anything in Europe was analogous to ancient and medieval Chinese thinking in terms of cosmic pattern or organism, it was this doctrine [of macrocosm and microcosm], though it never dominated Western ideas to the same degree. Two analogies were involved: one postulated point-for-point correspondences between the body of man and the universe or cosmos as a whole, the other imagined similar correspondences between the human body and the society of the State. We must glance for a moment at these theories and compare them with Chinese parallels, asking if there was any difference of emphasis in the two civilisations. We may call the larger theory the 'universe-analogy' and the smaller one the 'state-analogy'.

Among the pre-Socratic fragments there is nothing very definite to be found, and it is not till the time of Plato and Aristotle (-4th century) that the ideas attain any prominence. It may be said that Plato employed all the arguments but never used the term 'microcosm', while Aristotle used the term at least once but was too empirical in his biology and too abstract in his cosmology, as Conger says, to care much for the idea. The first authentic occurrence of the term microcosm is in his Physics, where he says, in the course of some arguments about motion, 'If this can happen in the living being, what hinders it from happening also in the All? For if it happens in the little world (it happens) also in the great, etc.' The Stoics continued what Plato had begun; most of them agreed that the world was an animate and rational being. Hence detailed correspondences with the being of man were inviting. Seneca, in his Quaestiones Naturales (c. + 64), did not hesitate to draw them. Nature was, he believed, organised after the pattern of man's body, water-courses corresponding to veins, air-passages to arteries, geological substances to various kinds of flesh, and earthquakes to convulsions.

This general outlook permeated late antiquity and the middle ages in Europe. It may be found everywhere. Philo Judaeus, a contemporary of Seneca, called man 'brachys kosmos', … the little world. Manilius, the astronomical poet, gives the assignment of parts of the body to regions of the zodiac. Galen in the +and century, though not emphasising the theory, alludes favourably to it. Plotinus in the +3rd held extremely organicist views, though they were so saturated with supernaturalism as to have little influence on scientific thinking; there is much in the Enneads which suggests the conception of the universe as a hierarchy of wholes, those on one level being the parts of the wholes on the next. Macrobius, about + 400, said that certain philosophers called the world a large man and man a short (-lived) world.! While Clement of Alexandria accepted the universe-analogy, other early Christian fathers were inimical to it, but this opposition was only temporary, and one finds it in full swing in later patristic literature. It is interesting to note that the first works bearing the term microcosm in their titles were written within a few years of one another; both were of the + 12th century, while one was Jewish and one Christian. The former was the Sefer Olam Qatan (Book of the Little World) by Joseph ben Zaddiq of Cordova (+ 1149), ' and the latter, the De Mundi Universitate Libri Duo, sive Megacosmus et Microcosmus, of Bernard of Tours (c. + 1150). …

The universe-analogy was still vigorous in the 16th century, There was never a more thorough-going and consistent supporter of it than Paracelsus, and it runs through all his alchemical and medical ideas. His followers, such as Robert Fludd in Medicina Catholica of + 1629,/ elaborated the same lines of thought. What is striking about these 16th- and early 17th-century nature-philosophers is their sometimes close approximation to Chinese conceptions. When Fludd, speaking of polarity, sets up opposites such as the following:

Heat—Movement—Light—Dilatation—Attenuation Cold—Inertia—Darkness—Contraction—Inspissation; Sun—Father—Heart—Right Eye—Sanguis vitalis, Moon—Mother—Uterus—Left Eye—Mucus,

he is talking like any Chinese exponent of the theory of Yin and Yang. When Giordano Bruno, regarding the universe as an organism composed of organisms, speaks of a sexual intercourse between the sun and the earth, whereby all living creatures are brought into being, he is using an extremely characteristic Chinese metaphor of frequent occurrence. Presumably, however, the origins of these presentations were 'Pythagorean' and Neo-Platonic, rather than immediately oriental, since at this time recent Chinese influences could hardly be suspected.

Analogies for more than Yin and Yang polarity can be found in European thought. Even the symbolic correlations have at least traces there. When Agrippa of Nettesheim (+ 1486 to +1535), in his De Occulta Philosophia, compiled a correlative tabulation, it was strikingly similar to the venerable Chinese forms. He aligned the seven planets with the seven letters of the Name of God, the seven angels, seven birds, fish, animals, metals, stones, parts of the body, orifices of the head, etc., and did not forget the seven dwellings of the damned. Forke, ' who laid much emphasis on this in his account of Chinese correlative thinking, was right enough in concluding that ‘sixteenth-century Europeans were not a whit further advanced in the natural sciences than the Chinese philosophers of the Sung (+ 12th)'. The tradition runs on through Bruno (+1548 to +1600), who has tables of correspondences in his De Imaginum Signorum et Idearum Compositione of + 1591, and Franciscus Patritius, whose Nova De Universalis Philosophia was almost contemporary (+ 1593).

The question is, where did these correlative tabulations come from? There is no doubt that they were largely Arabic and Jewish. Philo Judaeus, fifteen centuries before Agrippa, had classified things in sevens. In a great number of subsequent writers, but especially among the Jews and in Arabic works such as the Rasa-il Ikhwan al-Safa', there are 'Chinese" correlations— the parts of the body, the planets, the gods, the strings of the lyre, zodiacal constellations, seasons, elements, humours, letters of the alphabet, perform a complicated ballet in groups of fours and sevens. Though the Chinese category of fives is rarely, if ever, found, one cannot help wondering whether some inspiration from the –3rd-century Chinese School of Naturalists did not find its way through Indian contacts or over the Silk Road to Byzantium, Syria and other parts of the Near East.

It is here that the corpus of mystical Jewish writings, the Kabbalah, played an important part. Its origins are still extremely obscure; there seems to have been a connection with Gnosticism, Persian sufism, and conjectural influences from still farther east (Loewe, 1). The elements of the system go back to the - and century, but the earliest text (the Sefer Yesirah) dates only from the + 6th and the first historical personage definitely connected with the Kabbalah (Aaron ben Samuel) died towards the end of the + gth. The chief text (the Zohar) is of the +10th. The system included a great deal of numerology and magico-mystical arranging of letters and numbers, many doctrines of demiurges and angels, and distinct similarities with Chinese thought in its lists of 'pairs' (ziwwugh, syzygies) of things, as if grouped in Yin and Yang categories, Some references to metempsychosis might betray Buddhist, or at least Indian, influence, but other origins were certainly Greek, for Ptolemy and Proclus had associated the parts of the body, the senses, and the human psychological states, with the various planets. The doctrine of the macrocosm and the microcosm naturally appears in the Kabbalah. Kabbalistic notions undoubtedly influenced that extraordinary man Raymond Lull (+1232 to +1316), in whose works tables of correspondences in the Chinese manner can be seen. Here was the immediate precursor of Agrippa of Nettesheim.

It may well turn out that the 'correlative thinking' of the 16th and early 17th centuries had more influence on scientific minds in the true dawn of modern science than has generally been allowed. This is indeed the theme which runs through all the brilliant contributions of Pagel on the 'dark side' of scientific discoverers such as J. B. van Helmont. Bruno, in abandoning geocentrism, did not give up the universe-analogy; he said that the sun in the megacosm corresponded to the heart in man. It has now been shown, by Temkin (1), Pagel (4, 5, 6) and Curtis (1), that the discovery of the circulation of the blood by William Harvey was at any rate partly inspired by the known relation of the sun to the meteorological water circulation cycle. We may also ask whether similar influences stimulated Leibniz in his elaboration of the first European philosophy of organic naturalism.

Page 299:

Before looking at the other side of the picture, the parallels in Chinese thought, I should like to allude to the part played by the two analogies in the development of alchemy. This was on the whole beneficial; the statement of the Tabula Smaragdina that 'That which is beneath is like that which is above' was sound science. In later alchemy the sulphur ('of the philosophers") was thought to be the materia prima, from which all other substances could be derived, hence it was considered the true microcosm (Hitchcock, 1). We have already noted the essential part which the universe-analogy played in the systems of men such as Paracelsus and Fludd. It is curious to remember that the term 'microcosmic salt' (sodium ammonium hydrogen phosphate, HNaNH4PO4,) lingered on long into modern chemistry; it was so called since it was first prepared from human urine in the early 17th century.

It is now time to re-examine the Chinese parallels. If definite statements of early date are not very common, this is because the universe-analogy was implicit in the whole world-outlook of the ancient Chinese.* The Huai Nan Tzu (c. - 120) gives a very detailed statement of it, as also the Chhun Chhiu Fan Lu. The Li Chi (Record of Rites), put together about -50, says that man is the heart and mind of heaven and earth and the manifestation of the five elements. The I Ching likens heaven to the head and earth to the belly. The whole theory of Phenomenalism, which we shall presently describe in relation to the sceptical attitude of Wang Chhung (see below, PP. 378-82), rested on a belief in a one-to-one correspondence between the ethics of human actions on earth and the parallel behaviour of the heavenly bodies. It was thus essentially anthropocentric.

Page 301

Was now the Chinese universe-analogy philosophically similar to the form which it took in Europe? I am strongly inclined to think not. Europe had the macrocosm-microcosm doctrine, yes, and to that extent, a primitive form of organic naturalism, together with its minor counterpart, the state-analogy, but both were subject to what I shall call later on (Sect. 46) the characteristic European schizophrenia or split-personality. Europeans could only think in terms either of Democritean mechanical materialism or of Platonic theological spiritualism. A deus always had to be found for a machina. Animas, entelechies, souls, archaei, dance processionally through the history of European thinking. When the living animal organism, as apprehended in beasts, other men, and the self, was projected on to the universe, the chief anxiety of Europeans, dominated by the idea of a personal God or gods was to find the 'guiding principle'. One sees it again and again— in the world-soul animating the world-body in the Timaeus; or the leading principle, the Hegemonikon … sought by the Stoics (who differed very much among themselves as to what it was); a or Seneca's summary statement that God is to the world as the soul to man; repeated by Philo and Plotinus; and echoed by the Pirké Rabbi Eliezer in the + 8th century.

Yet this was exactly the path that Chinese philosophy had not taken. The classical statement of the organismic idea by Chuang Chou in the - 4th century (cf. above, PP. 52, 288) had set the tone for later formulations, expressly avoiding the idea of any spiritus rector. The parts, in their organisational relations, whether of a living body or of the universe, were sufficient to account, by a kind of harmony of wills, for the observed phenomena.

This conception is often clearly stated in the famous +3rd-century commentary of Hsiang Hsiu and Kuo Hsiang on the Chuang Tzu. For example, in chapter 6 someone asks the question, ‘Who can associate in non-association and cooperate in noncooperation?’ Hsiang and Kuo comment:

The hands and feet differ in their duties; the five viscera differ in their functions, They never associate with each other, yet the hundred parts (of the body) are held together with them in a common unity, Thus do they associate in non-association, They never (force themselves to) cooperate, and yet, both within and without, all complete one another. This is the way in which they cooperate in non-cooperation . . . Heaven and Earth are such a (living) body.

The cooperation of the component parts of the organism is therefore not forced but absolutely spontaneous, even involuntary. In another passage the same commentators suggested that even if there were reluctance to cooperate, or positive ‘anti-social’ action, the self-regulating or cybernetic control of the world organism (as we might put it) was so powerful that all things would continue to work together for good. Commenting on the passage about relativity in the 17th chapter, they said, concerning 'If we look at things from the point of view of the services they render...':

There are no two things under Heaven which do not have the mutual relationship of the "self' and the 'other'. Both the 'self' and the 'other' equally desire to act for themselves, thus opposing each other as strongly as east and west. On the other hand, the 'self' and the 'other' at the same time have the mutual relationship of lips and teeth. The lips and the teeth never (deliberately) act for one another, yet 'when the lips are gone, the teeth feel cold'. Therefore the action of the 'other' on its own behalf at the same time helps the 'self'. Thus though mutually opposed, they are incapable of mutual negation.

As Fêng Yu-Lan says, this last conclusion is surprisingly reminiscent of the dialectic of Hegel.

Page 304:

Much has already been said about the importance in the Chinese worldview of action at a distance, in which the different kinds of things in the universe resonate with one another. In the +5th-century Shih Shuo Hsin Yu we find the following:

Mr Yin, a native of Chinchow, once asked a (Taoist) monk, Chang Yeh-Yuan, ‘What really the fundamental idea (thi) of the Book of Changes (I Ching)?' The latter answered, 'The fundamental idea of the I Ching can be expressed in a single word, Resonance (Kan).' Mr Yin then said, 'We are told that when the Copper Mountain (Thung Shan) collapsed in the west, the bell Ling Chung responded (ying), by resonance, in the east. Would this be according to the principles of the I Ching?' Chang Yeh-Yuan laughed and gave no answer to this question.

[j-graysonlibrary]

The Xiang Chronicles: Book Four Chapter 4

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book Four

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 118k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: In order to save the world from the continuous subjugation and potential annihilation at the hands of Tiandi, hard lines must be drawn. The Great Spirits that were imprisoned ages ago must be unsealed and awakened, no matter the consequences.

The players are divided—those who stand blindly with Tiandi, such as Xiang Merra and her disciples versus those who want to tear the system down and give the power back to the people. Even a few of the most religious Lords change their minds when they learn the truth of the world—that Tiandi is no more than a dictator with no love in his heart.

It is up to the last, real Xiang and the ill-fated Chaaya to put everything they have into tearing God from his throne and creating new possibilities for the future.

Full chapter 4 under the cut

Chapter IV:

While things were going quite well, especially considering how they could have been going, Pangu still wished for a little more peace. All of the Mistresses, except for Kali, seemed perfectly fine with his group staying in the caves even if they were once enemies.

Pangu knew Kali would be a difficult woman to reach but he did want to try to extend an olive branch to her. Just…not immediately.

His eyes settled on what he hoped to be an easier target first.

The man with boot prints on his robes and a once-dead dog in his arms. He stayed seated on the floor and glared at everyone else as they relaxed and mingled for the evening. There was faint talk of getting something to eat though that would require Kira to go out and find something.

Pangu was sure he heard something about Gong offering to do the dirty work. He was only half paying attention.

Chandes had left the necromancer alone but only because Devi dragged her off into the back of the caves to prepare rooms for everyone. It was quite fascinating to watch the eldest Mistress of Shadow and to think about what she was always purported to be.

She was the Mistress of war and curses, the strongest of them all, and the most feared. Yet, she had been nothing but nice and, honestly, quite maternal. Even knowing who she was, Pangu could not keep his guard up around her.

He supposed it served to prove that people were not always who they seemed. His mentors, after all, had not been who he thought so why would the Mistresses be any different?

Pangu mulled over that thought as he approached the necromancer.

The man did not see him coming, nor did he expect company, because when Pangu did sit down, he jumped and leaned to the side.

“What?” his eyes bulged as his brows simultaneously pushed down. He looked wild—ready to lash out. “What do you want?”

Pangu raised his hands, showing he had no ill intent. “Just to talk.” He smiled a little too, though he was not sure that would actually ease his nerves any. “Ziyi, right?”

He blinked a few times but then his shoulders drooped and his grip on his dog visibly loosened. “You…remember my name?”

“Vaguely,” Pangu admitted, then asked with genuine interest, “Do you prefer to be called ‘The Necromancer’?”

Ziyi’s expression went from one extreme to the other in a matter of moments—Pangu could hardly keep up. He settled, however, on a slightly confused but more relaxed face. “Not especially. It’s more of a title. Though, I guess, that lady over there gets to take that from me too. Seeing as she brought you back perfectly.”

“I…do not think it was the same type of necromancy, to be fair.” He half smiled.

“Still…” Ziyi glanced down to his lap and released his dog. “Look at Browly. He is nothing compared to you.”

“He is still cute,” Pangu countered and gave the dog a few pats on his head. Of course, that got his attention and, the next thing he knew, he was making room for him on his lap.

The necromancer frowned. “Of course he likes you more than me. Likes everyone more than me…” he grumbled the last bit.

Pangu’s face fell. “I am sorry we are all intruding on you like this. It is a lot of change at once and I am overwhelmed too.”

“Do not do that,” Ziyi snapped and scooted away from him. He pulled his knees up and held onto those since Browly was no longer available to busy his hands with. “Do not try to relate to me or whatever it is you are doing. You know nothing about me…”

Silence fell and Pangu absentmindedly petted the dog. “That is true,” he said once he felt the air had cooled between them, “So, why not tell me? I am curious who found you and why you were given this power.”

He met his eyes but did not hold contact—instead, he looked down to Browly. “I…you do not really care.”

Pangu’s frown deepened. “That is not true. I want everyone here to be comfortable and to get along—at least in the sense that no one feels resentful or even left out. It might be a little naïve to think that I can achieve that by just talking with you but…I do not know. I can at least try, right?”

Ziyi’s eyes narrowed. “You are a strange man.” He relaxed his hold on his knees but still kept them hiked up. “If you insist, I guess I can tell you how I became a Chaaya. It is not especially epic or anything…honestly, it probably makes me sound more pathetic.”

“I doubt that.” Pangu shook his head. “No one’s pain is pathetic.”

The necromancer opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly unsure how to respond to that. Pangu gave him the space to figure it out and, eventually, he sighed. “Alright. Fine. I’m starting.”

More silence, as if Ziyi expected Pangu to interrupt or change his mind.

When he did not, he was forced to continue. “Well, I guess I lived a pretty normal life before. I grew up in a small town, by some mountains, and I was an only child so I was set to take over the family business. In my case, that was running a quarry. But then, my uncle finally had a kid so they were also up for the inheritance. I…did not particularly care as I grew up because a quarry is very boring to a kid—plus, I met a girl I loved so that took all of my attention.

She was new in town. Her family moved from Sun-shi in hopes of finding a better life for them and their daughters. They were nice people and I spent every day with them. Her in particular. It only took a month and we were planning the rest of our lives together.”

“How old were you?” Pangu asked, curious.

“Fifteen, maybe? Maybe sixteen by the time she moved in.” Ziyi rubbed his chin in thought and the side of his lips pulled into a frown.

Even discussing such a bright period in his life, he still seemed disappointed and bitter. Though, Pangu supposed, he could assume it had not ended well considering where he ended up.

Still, when he really looked at Ziyi, he could see a handsome man behind the exhaustion and constant front. He was not that old, especially on closer inspection, and his face was symmetrical and angular. He probably had a handful of admirers when he was younger but never knew it.

Pangu had a feeling if he mentioned any of that, Ziyi would immediately clam up and refuse to keep talking so he kept it to himself.

“You were planning your futures at sixteen?” Pangu, instead, questioned with a chuckle.

“Yes. You know how it is…or, maybe not.” Ziyi cringed a little at the possible misstep and then dove back into the story to cover for it, “Anyway, we planned on marrying as soon as our parents would allow it which, as it turned out, was a year later. My folks were happy to possibly have another heir to their quarry ‘fortune’ and her parents were the old fashioned type who believed a woman was only successful if she married.

She did not care what they thought but she did want to be with me so we happily wed. We even moved into our own cottage to start the rest of our lives together…” he ended with a sigh.

Pangu continued petting Browly as he watched him with a sulky expression. “Did you…have children?” he hesitated to ask, knowing the outcome must have been bad.

“We did,” Ziyi all but whispered. “A daughter. I loved her a lot and I hoped to have even more children in the future. I started to dream of this big family with my wife and grandkids and…”

“You do not have to tell me if you do not want to,” Pangu let him know.

He shook his head before reaching over and placing his hand on top of Browly. He kept his eyes on his dog as he said, “My daughter went missing when she was about four. I guess she had been playing in the woods and I had been too busy with work to notice. My wife was laid up sick—pregnant—and her sister, who had been babysitting, lost track of her.

A few days went by and we could not find her anywhere. I already knew there was no way she had survived by herself out in the woods but it was still a lot when we found her body. What was left of it anyway…”

With another sigh, Ziyi pulled his hand away and closed his eyes. “Some wild animals had gotten to her. But, her clothes were left behind so we knew it was her. Then my wife miscarried and we could not conceive again. Everything good was just…gone.”

“I am so sorry, Ziyi…”

He shook his head. “I got Browly after that. I hoped a puppy would cheer my wife up but she hated him. I guess he reminded her of caring for children? Or, maybe, she assumed wolves ate our daughter and she saw him as the enemy. I honestly do not know—we stopped talking to one another.

But I had Browly. And, after another year, just Browly.”

“What happened to your wife?” Pangu asked, already having a few possibilities floating in his mind.

“She left.” Ziyi no longer seemed sad by it—just resentful. “She started having sex with my cousin who had just turned fifteen.”

“Ew,” Pangu could not hold it back.

Thankfully, the necromancer chuckled. “Yes, those were about my thoughts too. She was the darling of the town though…and of my parents. So, when I tried to shame her for what she was doing, no one else was on my side. She was able to get pregnant from my cousin as well so my parents and uncle saw that as their beloved heir.

I took Browly and left. It was stupid, especially in hindsight, because I took no provisions or money. And, to my surprise, no one in other towns took my status as quarry royalty seriously. I could find no work, even if I begged, and I was a terrible thief so…”

When his eyes drifted down to Browly, Pangu started to worry that the next part of the story would involve dog meat.

“We lived in the woods and I scrounged for what I could find. Usually, that meant poison berries and insects.” Ziyi frowned. “But I killed a rat here and there or I found an animal that was dead already. I tried to feed me and Browly evenly but I guess he was missing something important from his diet. One night he went to sleep and never woke up again.”

There was still a lot of pain in his voice when he spoke of it. Pangu could tell that, out of everything that happened, his dog dying had stayed with him. Perhaps because it was most recent. Or, perhaps, because it was the final straw.

His eyes shined as he looked down at his dog again. He tapped the ear that was discolored as he continued, “I could not bury him. I kept bringing him along with me as I tried to survive but I knew I would end up going the same way. Some days I thought of eating him but I could not bring myself to do it. Just as I would have rather impaled myself in the eye than go back to my family, I would have sooner died of starvation than eaten my best friend.

I got weaker and weaker and, I started to give up. Every time I closed my eyes I hoped it was the end but then, someone appeared out of shadow.”

Pangu raised his brows, wondering which of the Mistresses it was.

“The new bane of my existence,” Ziyi stated and cut his eyes over to her as she walked back into the room. “Sha-chandes.”

He tried to swallow down the laugh but it ended up just sounding like he was choking. Pangu collected himself and smirked. “Surely, you were happy to see her at the time?”

“Oh, certainly, but only because I did not know any better.” He huffed. “She brought me a cake. A whole cake. She bribed me.”

Pangu’s lips trembled as he tried to keep his snickering to himself. “Mm hmm?”

Ziyi threw his head against the wall and sighed. “Of course, I ate the cake because I was starving and it was only once I had sugar racing through me that I realized how strange the situation was. She introduced herself to me and asked if I wanted the power to bring Browly back.

How could I say no to that? I had been dying of guilt and starvation for days! It was the perfect bargaining chip so I took whatever downsides there might have been in stride. I did not fully understand what I was getting myself into but…I suppose it is better than where I was headed.”

“You did get your dog back,” Pangu pointed out and scratched along the dog’s spine. For having the body of a dead animal, his fur was surprisingly soft.

“That is what I thought at first too,” Ziyi countered. Though he still patted Browly between his ears, he frowned. “I am sure this is not my dog’s soul—if dogs even have souls. He acts different, he loves everyone else more than me…he is not really my Browly.”

“You do not think so?”

“I was in denial for a long time but, no, no I do not think so.” He set both of his hands in his lap, away from the dog but the dog was not done being petted so he started to crawl over to him. “I have had to replace so many decaying, rotten parts as well. Soon, he will not even look like my Browly. I just keep calling him Browly because it’s easy.”

“Well, I am sure your Browly would be happy you are alive and that you are not alone.” Pangu grinned but received no warm response in turn.

“Doubtful. Surely, he resents me for killing him.”

Pangu shook his head. “If he cared about his survival, he could have easily abandoned you in the woods, right? He stayed because he loved you.”

Ziyi’s eyes glossed over and he turned his head away. “Dogs cannot think like that.”

“Maybe not,” Pangu easily agreed, “But I would like to think they can.” Though he had not given much thought to animals and their internal worlds before now, after hearing Ziyi’s story, he found himself wanting to believe that they loved just as much as humans.

Even if the new Browly was not the same dog as the old one, they both cared for their owner in some capacity and, even more than that, they meant the world to him. Without either dog, Ziyi was extremely vulnerable and even more depressed than Pangu expected.

In a surprising way, he realized he wanted to protect him.

“Both Browlys love you, Ziyi,” Pangu told him with a pervasive smile, “This one here is just easily excitable and wants to be friends with everyone. But, even in the short amount of time I have been down here, he has always come back to you and I think that means something.”

“Alright, alright,” the necromancer said after a stiff sniff and he stood up, taking Browly into his arms with him, “I will get my room ready for a guest. You can stop with the sentimental ploys now.”

As he stormed out of the room, Pangu watched him with a smirk. He was actually quite a gentle soul and easy to talk to—probably on account of him being starved for human interaction for such a long time. The large party moving into the caves was going to be good for him.

He would not get his family and old community back, just as he would not get his old dog back, but he could find something new and, while it was not the most pressing of matters, Pangu was hopeful that he could help the man feel welcome and at home again.