#commander-soup

[clonebrainrot]

Okay hear me out. Ultimate Clone X theory

Clone X is Soup clone.

My evidence for this theory? Plenty when he talks to Crosshair about Joining them when he had the chance? He’s talking about during the food fight. This entire time he has been biding his time. And what is a river if not the soup of nature? I feel this in my bones. All other theories have been rejected as inferior Dogma? Nah! Tech boring! Cody? Ha give me a break. Slick? Derivative. It’s soup clone. The ultimate villain.

[rochenn]

Making up for this travesty from last year with traditional Baltic coast Cody 💥

[redbean-nom]

A handful of "Boba Fetts" (none of them know what his armor actually looks like)

[deserthusbands]

obi-wan: if i were to have any, i don't think i'd want to have kids after 40.

cody with a mouthful of soup: yeah, forty is already plenty.

[lukashaa]

Patho fanart of varying quality

[m-for-now]

As someone who is genderfae (microlabel under genderfluid), I have a lot of different experiences with gender.

I just wish someone told me sooner that it won't go like "today I'm a girl" "today I'm an enby" but more like ,,, "today I am a swamp witch" "today I am a feminine victorian vampire boy" "today I am a forest goblin collecting people's stares about my gender expression like shiny rocks on the ground" "today I'm an androgynous pirate lady"

Like,,, sure, are those real genders? I don't fucking now. If a cisgender person asked me what I identify as that day, would I answer like that? No, definitely not.

But to my genderqueer, trans and genderfluid friends; do you get me? I can't be alone with this, right?

[codywaan]

I couldn't have been the only one praying for them to not take CX's helmet of. If it was any clone we know, it would have destroyed the Batch (and us).

Maybe it was Tech.

Maybe it was Cody.

Maybe it was Soup Clone.

Maybe he really is just any other random, unknown clone.

It remains a mystery, it's up to us to decide.

[arecait]

If you keep loosing it, you cannot complain about it finding a new wielder!

[chocomars]

The last straw

[welcometo79s]

Echoes of a very particular Karaoke Night at 79s

this was written inspired by prompt #1 of @weekly-star-wars-prompts and will be added to my collection of clone shenanigans.

A beautiful collection of text messages that ARC Trooper Fives sent to his twin brother over the course of 79s Clone Karaoke Event.

Zhellday — 9:00 pm

Dear Echo,

the first 79s Clone Karaoke night is starting soon. I'm a little sad that you didn't want to join us, but I understand if it's not your scene. I hope you have a nice sleep tonight and enjoy that novel you've been reading! If anything happens, I'll reach out. By the way: If Rex asks, I don't know where his comlink is and you don't either. If he starts to search our barracks, don't let him unscrew the light bulb. I'll tell you all about the Karaoke Night tomorrow!

— your big brother Fives

Zhellday — 9:30 pm

ECHO I WON THE FIRST ROUND!

I'm something of a Karaoke Scientist by this point. I have studied the ways of the masters (General Skywalker, who taught me a thing or two about Karaoke) and I have acclaimed a victory for both of us with thunderous applause. I dedicated my song to you. People absolutely loved my Pop Punk rendition of "Mambo No. Fives". They said it was very creative and Tup found it deeply emotional. I beat Jesse rapping the Republic Anthem, but it was a close call. He's a little bummed that he lost, but he seems to be having a good time doing shots at the bar. I'm going to rest my vocal chords until it's my turn again. The bartender gave me a cute mocktail with one of these little umbrellas and a slice of orange for free. I'll send pics.

— Love, Fives

Zhellday — 10:00 pm

Little brother,

are you still awake? Would you consider coming over and looking after Jesse for a while? He took a few shots too many and now he wants to get another Republic symbol tattoo but this time on his buttcheek. Kix and I feel that he might regret this decision. The worst part is if someone agrees to tattoo him drunk, we can't even sue because we're not considered persons in the eye of the law. I would look after him myself but I have a song coming up and my fans are waiting for me. I need to beat Commander Cody's emotional love song dedicated towards an anonymous Jedi General. I'm optimistic because he kinda slurred it due to the alcohol but he has the heartfelt delivery going for him. I must not underestimate my opponents.

— Big Bro

Zhellday — 10:30 pm

Echo,

you will not believe who just showed up as a last minute entry into the Karaoke Competition. Marshal Commander Fox from the Coruscant Guard. He isn't even here to arrest people (I think). I really didn't think Karaoke was his thing. He isn't drunk either but he says he has consumed a little more coffee than usual and needs to blow off some steam. He accidentally started a flash mob in the bar to his song "The power of one, the power of two, the power of maaaany" (the additional a's are apparently part of the title and add to its atmospheric value). Fox told Hardcase, who has declared him his best friend, that he got this song from Chancellor Palpatine himself. Apparently the Chancellor's guardian Hego Damask who taught him about politics and "other things" has learned this song from some DJ named Jason Qimir Mendoza with whom he did a spiritual retreat in a cave once! That sounds like an adventure!

Fox said I would not last 30 minutes on a spiritual retreat because it requires silence and meditation and he has never seen me shut up for longer than 3 minutes. I thought that was very mean. I stole 5 credits from him. Don't scold me though, I will use them for the good of others! I bought you a Tauntaun wiggly head figure from them! It's red and has very big eyes.

— Thank me later, Fives

Zhellday — 11:00 pm

My bestest brother in the whole world,

I made it to the next round of the Karaoke Competition because Marshal Commander Fox decided one song was enough. Otherwise he would have won. I'm a bit bummed that I didn't fully earn this victory, but I will keep fighting and defending our reputation.

Can you come over though? Jesse has accidentally swallowed the little plastic umbrella from my mocktail and I'm not sure if that's bad. I tried to ask Kix but he is also drunk and simply said that the force will shape the umbrella into something new in the endless cycle of death and rebirth. I don't think that medical advice is very credible...

By the way, those Bad Bitch guys showed up. The one with the mental illnesses bumped into me on purpose and said "move, reg". I challenged him into a Karaoke Duel to the Death. He declined. He is too scared of me.

— Fives

Zhellday — 11:30 pm

Vod'ika,

attached you can find a picture of me and Hardcase competing over who can fit more drinking straws into their nose. A clone from the 212th told us to take our drunk misadventures somewhere else as we're getting too annoying. I told him Nasal Drinking Straws as a sport deserves more respect than to be assumed as something only drunk people do. Hardcase is drunk, I'm not. I do this because it is my calling and I will bring home the world record for both of us. Karaoke is going well btw, Hardcase and I are still in the competition, as are Dogma, Cody and some guy who only sings about Soup.

Tup was disqualified for not singing because he got stage fright. I cheered him up but he is crying now because that Technology guy from Clone Force 99 introduced him to something called "The Trolley Problem". I tried to reassure Tup that he doesn't have to hurt any of the little people on the train tracks if he doesn't want to, but it still made him sad. I'm glad that this Tech guy has not joined the Karaoke Competition because his big brother (the muscly one) said he's a Karaoke Champion.

Croissant has stuck two long drinking straws into two bottles of whiskey and is trying to drink them simultaneously. He intimidates me a little bit. But every grumpy stranger is a potential new friend, as Hardcase always says, so I approached him and asked him if he wants to join us in sticking drinking straws into our nose. He asked me if they removed all of my braincells on Kamino. I wanted to report him to his Sergeant for harassment but that one already came in super drunk and he's currently snorting glitter off the bar counter. It's not easy being Fives.

— Your favorite Brother

Zhellday — 11:45 pm

Echo, for reasons that are ✨ a secret ✨, I need you to come to 79s and pretend to be my lawyer. If you use the fake beard and wig I put under my bunk, they will never be able to tell you're a clone.

Benduday — 12:00 am

Echo did you block me?

Message could not be delivered.

Benduday — 12:30 am

Little brother,

thank you for unblocking me. At first I meant to call Rex to tell you to unblock me but then I remembered his comlink is in our lamp so I called it 50 times and this seemed to have the desired effect. I have handled the lawyer situation alone like a big boy and I hope that you are proud of me. I simply told the Corrie who caught me trying to loot the passed out 99 Sergeant's armor for valuables a fake name and address of my fake lawyer (Dr. Icicle Joe, Tauntaunlane 42 in E-97451 Kriffuck). By the time he finds out it's a fake address I will be long gone. See? I can handle my problems on my own. 😌

Sincerely,

— Fives

Benduday —12:45 am

Hey Echo,

Do you perchance know if Regs can digest confetti? I didn't eat weird things again, I promise! Jesse and Kix ate the confetti and Kix just giggled and said he has a bad feeling about this. I'm worried about them. I'm trying to prevent them from eating more confetti but this is a two man job and I don't want to cancel the semi-finals of the Karaoke Night. Please help.

— your twin who loves you very much, Fives

Benduday — 01:00 am

Hi Echo, I just wanted to tell you that the big hunk from the Bad Batch has carried Kix and Jesse to the nearest medical bay. He was way nicer than his grumpy brother. Croissant has laid down in a dark corner of 79s facing the wall. I'm not sure if he's sleeping or contemplating his life but I really don't want anything to do with it. Also Tup'ika is happy again because I told him a Jedi could solve the trolley problem by stopping the trolley with the force.

Me and Hardcase passed the semi-finals of the Karaoke competition. Dogma was disqualified and so was the soup guy. He didn't do well after he poured Everclear into his chicken broth. Now it's just me, Hardcase and Commander Cody left. I'm the only sober contestant. I have this in the bag.

— the future Karaoke Champion, Fives

Benduday — 01:30 am

Dear Echo,

I was bitten by a clone trooper from a different legion. I don't know him. I wouldn't be too worried about it normally but Dogma said something about how when you notice you have rabies, your death is already certain.

Tup says he hates 79s and needs pain killers. I tried to steal them from Tech but he karate-kicked me to the ground. Thankfully he gave Tup some when I explained to him that my vod needs them. He said next time I should just ask and apologized for making Tup'ika cry with the trolley problem. He's nicer than I thought he was. Good people are still out there. I was a little worried with all the chaos going on, but the night is getting better. Things are calming down.

— Fives

Benduday — 01:50 am

Aloha Echo, do you by any chance know how much the whole Karaoke equipment costs that they have at 79s? I am asking this because I plan on getting one for the 501st. Definitely not because the one here just died (for reasons I definitely had nothing to do with). Anyway, there is a large fire in the middle of the room. The Corries are trying to put it out. We've all evacuated the building and are chilling outside of 79s. Fox had to rescue Croissant because he did not wake up from the burnt smell or the people who were screaming "There's a fire! Run for your lives!" That guy... I have snatched a portion of the fire for you as a gift. I keep it in a little open glass with a candle in it and after they announce the Karaoke King, I will bring it home and keep it alive so that I can give it to you in the morning.

— Your older brother, Fives

Benduday — 02:20 am

I'M THE KARAOKE KING! They couldn't hold the finale because the karaoke corner burnt down but Hardcase passed out drunk so I won by default. I'm very happy and I will carry the grave responsibility to lead my Karaoke Kingdom with honor and pride. My first request was that for the new Karaoke corner the bar hangs up a picture of you on the wall with the caption "I dedicate this victory to my little brother Echo who came out of the tube 10 minutes later than me". They have accepted. However they stated that there will never be another Karaoke Competition, which is a shame but at least no one can break my winning streak. I still have your Tauntaun figure and your fire. Sorry I spammed you. I will go home now! See you tomorrow. Fives out.

[purpleenma]

Made this sketch for my dear @spongynova that I love so much 💜

Please click for better quality because Tumblr is murdering the poor sketch.

*Some background info under the cut.

If you have ever read the official Star Trek cookbook, there's a recipe that's called "Captain Kirk's plomeek soup" and I've always hc that Jim worked on that recipe to adapt it better specifically to Spock's taste.

So I drew the triumvirate here about to try out Jim's version of the recipe, helping out with the chores. Jim is confident in his recipe but Bones likes to jokingly tease him even if the doctor knows full well he'd eat whatever Jim prepares regardless, but he's also thrilled this idea will make Jim eat more vegetables xD Spock is a bit nervous about the changes but deep inside he's also expectant and honoured that Jim took the time to make something thinking of him.

And yes, Jim wears a novelty apron, he has several, some with more femcoded bodies. He chooses which one to wear based on vibes.

I really had a lot of fun sketching this, I might shade it in the future or maybe add some fast colouring, but it will have to wait because I have to keep taking things off my pile of To Dos xD

[legobenkenobi]

i love him. so much. Cody’s sarcasm is unmatched

[kibellah]

thank you so much to @maturiin for this gorgeous art of my kc and daeran!! i'm in love with how it turned out 🥰

[deserthusbands]

obi-wan: you know, dear, i'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works..

cody, drinking toast: why do you say that?

[itzshrike]

Don’t use logic, just go with your gut or wish