#commander's last love

[icarustypicalfall]

Commander's last love

masterlist • ao3 • fic masterlist • part 4

summary: Training till draining, where tears spill and pride kills. He just wants peace.

Warnings: bad self image, self sabotage, scars, sparring, wounds.

note: i hate u tumblr for deleting the first one >:(. also if y'all want to be added to the tag list tell me :3

tags: @unicorngirly1

**

"Dis moi, est-ce-que tu m'aime? Je suis emprisonné de tes yeux, de ta douce voix. Dis moi la vérité."

Mission [A2626]

Location: [CLASSIFIED]

Time: 15:20:34 - 24/10/2022

What on earth could have prompted Shadow's esteemed company and revered member of the military to rise at such ungodly hours and become the sidekick to two young people?

Well...

After yesterday's meeting (Phillip might start following them from bed) he was certain of two things: the mission was progressing smoothly despite numerous obstacles, and he had a strong urge to push that Sky Diver out of the helicopter at the earliest opportunity. He might even consider pulling off the Gaz move in this unit.

As he sat beside you and Sky on the way back to the base (a logistical oversight), all he wanted was to return home and rest. However, you and Sky seemed to be engaged in playful banter and meaningless arguments out of nowhere. Pardon Phillip's manners, but he couldn't find his blanket and had only managed to sleep for less than five hours. He was on the verge of losing his temper with Martin.

Phillip groaned as the unusual noise grew louder. He snapped, "Is there anything the two of you are better at than opening your mouths?" It wasn't like him to be snarky or mean, as he usually preferred playful taunting. But in that moment, he couldn't deny that he felt... jealous?

Yes, absolutely.

He was also sleep-deprived and in need of a hug. Apart from that, he was perfectly fine.

He had been here for over two weeks, yet he felt as if there was now more distance between you and him than there was between his own shadows and logic.

You stared at him, your brows furrowing over your usual mask.

He wished you would feel safe around him, or at least trust him enough to reveal the hidden beauty that you chose to veil from him. You often let your guard down around your colonel and her husband, as well as some of the other soldiers. Even Sky got to see you. Why couldn't Phil?

It was like a precious pearl locked away in a chest, afraid of thieves. But he wasn't a thief; he would never dare to steal you away from your life, from where you truly belonged. The only thing he wanted to steal was your heart, but apparently, that was as difficult as cupping the surface of the moon and sealing it with a kiss.

Nevertheless, he was determined. He wouldn't give up, even if it meant getting hurt along the way. Even if it meant facing the failure of his broken heart shattering. He didn't want to creep you out; he just wanted to understand the reason for your disdain.

You interrupted, squinting your eyes with what he assumed was a smirk, "Yes, Commander, we train to ensure our joints don't start cracking at 30."

Oh, wrong move.

He glared at you, crossing his arms as he spoke with an air of confidence, as if your remark hadn't affected him at all. "No, doll, I certainly train as well. But what I've seen from the two of you is pathetic. I highly doubt you would have passed boot camp."

Push, prod, bait... anything to leave a lasting mark. A constant reminder of your rejection.

Sky chimed in, his carefree spirit making Phillip want to throw himself off the moving van. "What if you give us proper training, Commander?"

Phillip, providing you and Sky with training? Making you sweat and curse at him? Supporting you as you struggled through your reps? Sparring with you?

His prayers had finally been answered. He tried to hide the grin spreading across his face with his usual proud smirk. "You won't last a single minute."

You laughed, and his heart fluttered. Phillip wasn't exactly old; he was in his thirties, but he still possessed the spirit of a young man. You made him rejoice in those moments of familiarity.

Since childhood, Phillip had always been left out, hated, and bullied. Even his own family favored his sibling, leaving him to live in their shadow. He had thought that joining the army and fulfilling his father's wishes would earn him a modicum of respect. But he was wrong.

That's why he had severed ties with his family, only visiting on rare occasions. He would watch as his brother basked in the limelight. His brother, a renowned lawyer with a beautiful wife and a young son. Phillip grew distant after his mother's death, burying with her the last remnants of affection.

Phillip looked at Sky and felt a pang in his heart. The young man had everything: success, friends, money... and you. The way you shared laughter and giggles made him envious of that connection.

He longed for love, acceptance, friendship, anything. But he had never been good at being vulnerable. All he could do was watch and pray for a miracle to happen. Maybe one day, or perhaps never.

This was the bitter reality that Phillip had to swallow since the day he came into this world.

Later on, the three of you convened in the training facility, finding it empty. It was evident that Phillip had discreetly dismissed the three rookies who were miserably failing at their sparing session. He stood alone, anxiously waiting as the clock's ticking intensified his nerves. To drown out the demons of his loneliness, he turned up his headphones. The reminders of his solitude were silenced.

Having arrived, you entered the room dressed entirely in black. A nod of acknowledgement was exchanged between you and Phillip before you began your warm-up routine. Shortly after, Sky joined the group, offering a brief excuse for his delay. Phillip's gaze lingered on you for a moment, admiring your strength and the flawless execution of your moves, which he doubted he could ever replicate. Caught staring, he coughed nervously before uttering, "Well, sweetheart, care to show me what you're capable of?"

Your laughter filled the room, a soft giggle that felt like the first rays of sunlight in winter. Approaching Phillip, you positioned yourself in the sparing section. He followed shortly while Sky cheered from the sidelines.

Phillip was about to make a snarky remark, but before he could, your fist swiftly found its mark on his chest with a forceful punch that stole his breath away.

Coughing, he grabbed hold of your arm and threw you onto your back. Pinning you down with his knee on your stomach, he lifted your chin, locking eyes with you. "Told ya, sweetheart. No chance," he declared.

Your laughter only caused his heart to ache once again. The grip of your bare fingertips on his bicep burned, torturing his soul.

"No, Commander, she was going easy on you," Sky interjected, causing Phillip to frown.

Easy on him? Was he this old?

Releasing his hold on you, he stood up, attempting to conceal the pain etched on his face as he took a sip of water. Finding a spot to rest, he watched as Sky and other soldiers showcased their impressive moves shirtless. A sigh escaped his lips as he cursed his aging body and the unsightly scars that adorned it. He leaned back, contemplating removing his shirt but ultimately opted to clutch his water bottle tightly till his knuckles turned white.

After the intense training session, you found yourself drenched in sweat, ravenous, and above all, exhausted.

Deciding it was time for a quick bath followed by a well-deserved nap, your eyes roamed the room, landing on Commander Graves who was venting his frustration by pummeling a boxing bag.

To your surprise, your prejudices faded away as you observed him. The man wasn't half bad, and you could even acknowledge some of his positive attributes. However, whenever you caught a glimpse of him, memories of a past life, someone you despised with every fiber of your being, resurfaced.

Driven by curiosity, you approached him, addressing him gently by his rank. "Commander?"

He stared at you in shock, perplexed as to why you were there and not with the rest of the group. Letting out a sigh, he forced a smile and replied.

“Yes, sweetheart? Anything else you want from this old man?”

In that moment, something within you shifted, causing you to abandon your animosity towards him. Without hesitation, you found yourself standing before him, gently holding his bruised hand and carefully bandaging it. He looked at you, feeling defeated yet momentarily at peace. Your cold hands cradled his, softly tending to his wounds as you reassured him, "No need to be upset, Commander. Everyone admires your abilities." Vulnerable to the core, he gazed at you, his guard lowered.

Before turning away and heading towards your room, you whispered, "Oh, and Phill, comparison is the thief of joy."

Phil?

If anything, this encounter healed every doubt he had. He couldn't believe that his name had left your lips. As he watched you walk away, he pondered what had just transpired.

Later that night, as Phillip prepared for bed, a smile adorned his face. However, his happiness quickly dissipated when he received a call from General Shepard. The weight of despair settled upon him as he listened in silence, absorbing the General's words.

No.

Not again.

[jedi-starbird]

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

[fangirlforeversthings]

(And no obi wan this time see?)

[starwarjotta]

whether he has a gun or a knife (or a lightsaber) or is unarmed, Cody's always deadly

[blaithnne]

This is so funny to me because I can PICTURE host!Vic furiously storming into the studio after having watched season 1, complaining that they look completely ridiculous on camera (bright pink? What are they, an anarchist?) and demanding a new wardrobe. They’re given one (1) new shirt in a different colour and go “perfect, now give me a broach that looks like a sea urchin to show what a cool fun guy I am as well”

[anghraine]

It's wild to me that I had heard of the prime Kirk/Spock content in various TOS episodes long before I saw them, but had never heard of what IMO is the shippiest moment of all thus far, in an interestingly O_o goddamn I do not want whatever you two have but you do you?? holy shit though what a moment way.

I'm of course referring to the otherwise rather mid episode "Requiem for Methuselah," in which Kirk has an underwritten love affair with a clueless woman whose various secrets have to be discovered before her inevitable death.

At one point in this relationship, her.......uh, guardian??? sort of???????? had Spock play the piano while she and Kirk waltzed, which (in-story) Spock did perfectly while somehow managing to silently exude even more intensity than usual. After the plot (and her life) were over, we end not with the usual cheerful bit of snark on the bridge that ends most episodes, but with a weary Kirk falling asleep with his head on his arms and Spock hovering not for away. McCoy exposits the last bit of detail and then goes on an unprompted and honestly pretty viciously racist speech about how Spock, unlike Kirk, will never suffer from the joys and travails of love because of his inherent lack of feeling as a Vulcan. The speech is longer than usual and just really mean-spirited as McCoy waxes rhapsodic about all the aspects of passionate true love that Spock will not and cannot experience as a Vulcan before he just leaves.

Spock then turns to look at Kirk, and now just bleeding intensity, takes a few slow, deliberate steps towards the sleeping Kirk, lays his hand against Kirk's cheek and neck, and then very obviously mind melds with the sleeping Kirk while murmuring, "Forget."

Is this healthy respectful behavior that honors Kirk's autonomy? No, obviously. Is it god-tier repressed homoerotic passion between two people who should probably just work their issues out and stop inflicting themselves on anyone else? Yes.

[raphaerolo]

Last Line Challenge

Rules: In a new post, put the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as you have words (or as many as you feel like)

Tagged by just so many people (some from a while ago but it's okay): @anxiousotters @chiliger @bladelei @nobie @vytels

I'm once again doing the double wip, drawing and writing. First, drawing!

They're everything to me.

I don't have much explanation for this one, iykyk (and it's pretty obvious). My last line was shading on Cody's face. They're just—

Yeah.

And writingggg. I just finished changing this 5k wip from past to present tense, but I did add a line to this scene. I love putting accurate math into my codywan teacher au fic. Precalc is so fun.

“So the inverse of this function, if we swap out x and y and solve for x, comes out to be 2x plus four. Is that all making sense so far?”

He sees a variety of nods and decides to move on.

“Now, if we loop back to transformations,” he says as he grabs a whiteboard eraser. He swipes at the orange marker and it - doesn’t erase. He scrubs at the marks and they just smudge, but don’t vanish. “This marker doesn’t erase.” He chucks it into the trash can by the door.

“What, no, don't throw it out,” Waxer cries. “You could give it to Mr Kenobi.” Other students begin calling out their agreement.

Cody glares at his students. “If I give that marker to Mr Kenobi, when he discovers it doesn’t erase, he will just write over it and it won’t be good for anyone.” Cody should know; Obi-Wan had accidentally written on a whiteboard at home with a permanent marker and, well. Trying to read three layers of his handwriting overlapped was a challenge to say the least.

Tagging.... okay, first of all, everyone who tagged me, uno reverse flip flop I'm tagging you all back. And also. @smoosey @chickengodnoodle @why-cant-turtles-fly @friendlyneighbourhoodelf @ferretrade @merlyn-bane consider yourselves all tagged

[dysfunctionalcreature]

me: "I rewatch the Wolf 359 live show for the plot"

the plot:

[beifong-brainrot]

I don't like to arbitrarily assign these traits to characters based on mannerisms and assumptions because I think it leads to assuming that certain people™️ are a certain way™️

But almost every scene in which Zhao interacts with the child characters makes me so viscerally uncomfortable lol.

Like I know he's meant to be menacing to an extent but I'm pretty sure it was meant to be the set you on fire type of menacing not the man your parents warned you about type of menacing

[lbibliophile-sw]

CC-1010 | Commander Fox Needs A Hug is one of my favourite AO3 tags to browse, so for Fox Day I made myself a Fox to hug while I read about just how much he needs it.

For: @corrieweek - day 7: Fox day @ailesswhumptober - day 12: "can you feel me? I'm right here."

Fox to his superiors:

Fox to his subordinates:

Fox with his batchmate:

[darlingod]

It’s just… it is everything that Cardan thought Jude would notice his “SO OBVIOUS” exile riddle and thinks Jude to not hesitate to come back. Beside his certainty of her cleverness to piece the riddle together, he believed he was that clear about his feelings toward her; he had thought she absolutely ought to know how he feels for her.

Like oh buddy. BUDDY. Your wife had thought of the answer to your little riddle like you thought she would. But guess what? She has detrimental TRUST ISSUES. (Like… Ur super mean and hot, I can’t blame her.) Anyway.. it’s SUPER adorable of him to so wholeheartedly believe she wouldn’t question his trust. It reveals so much about his pov of thier relationship.

Jude thought Cardan’s (silly) trick was a (vile) trick, when it was simply a: “Im trying to impress/pay you back in kind with our romantic metaphorical sparring and eventually get you out of political drama for a bit,” trick.

I’m fucking laughing wow these delusional ass children I fucking love them.

[slyheartzz]

MORE SHAKARIAN AHHHHHHH

I finally finished me3 the other day and what the FUCK was that ending I was bawling for two whole days 😭 I also drew this BEFORE I knew about the citadel dlc dance date and I was losing my mind-

[beresaad]

DENRID | PERSICA | MARREC | CAHIR | TIERNAN | EMRYS

↳ Do not fear difficulty. Hard ground makes stronger roots.

[fangirlforeversthings]

Would these characters help you k*ll a spider?

Part 2

Clone wars clones

[5ummit]

by allie_lynee

[lindseymcdonaldseyelashes]

Leverage 3x16 - "The San Lorenzo Job"