#coming up w all this shit myself is exhausting

[faaun]

the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[honexjams]

everyone who's disabled one way or another and simply has to keep going to work no matter how devistating it is on your body and/or mind, I see you and I love you. that shit is so rough and you're an absolute trooper for keepin it pushin

[waywardsalt]

the dilemma of having ideas that would be best expressed as comics but being afraid to draw

[phagodyke]

ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee

[rafey-baby]

dealer!rafe can’t keep his promises and she can’t keep doing this...

c/w: mostly angst, yelling & arguing, rafe being kinda toxic, 18+ mdni!

wc: 1.5k

inspired by this ask

part one

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Exhaustion weighs down Rafe’s shoulders when he finally clicks the front door shut; hoping his arrival won’t disturb his sweet angel he assumes is already buried safely under the covers and lost in some saccharine dream of hers.

However, when he kicks off his shoes and turns around, he notices her sleepy form standing in the hallway— clad in pajama bottoms and his favorite hoodie along with something akin to dissatisfaction flashing in her drowsy eyes.  

“Hey, baby. Did I wake you?” he asks as he pads over to her; greeting her with a gentle kiss on her cheekbone.  

“No, couldn’t really sleep. Was worried something happened cause you told me yesterday you were gonna be home in time for dinner,” the last part is drenched in accusation as she takes a step back.

“Shit, forgot to text you I wasn’t gonna make it, m’sorry,” his apologetic eyes flit over to her as he scratches at the back of his head.  

“Yeah. But then again, think I would’ve been more surprised if you actually had shown up when you promised,” her displeased tone is crystal clear and it forces a heavy sigh to leave his throat. 

“Okay, I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend recently, but there’s just been a lot of shit going on with the business and—”  

“It’s always gonna be about that with you, isn’t it? Like why would you even care about my feelings when you’ve got the fucking money and the drugs, right?” she nearly snaps; drained from the constant lies and excuses that make her feel like he’s never going to put her first.  

“What do you— what do you mean? Of course, I care about your feelings, why would you even say that? And you’re more important to me than all that other shit, okay?” there’s a furrow between his brows when he tries to comprehend what sort of a train this conversation is traveling on.  

“I mean, do you even know how anxious I get whenever you come home late? When you don’t answer my calls? I— sometimes I think you’re…dead, okay? Do you know how exhausting that is?” she says with her face contorted in frustration due to the endless nights she’s spent thinking the worst and wondering why he could never keep his word.  

“I’ve told you so many times that you don’t need to worry so much, nothing bad s’gonna happen,” he tries to reassure her but she merely shakes her head and rubs a hand over her face. 

“But I do, cause it’s not something I can just turn off. And all you do is make these promises that you never keep and I just…I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” her watery eyes stare up at him in despair, making him frown. 

“What are you talking about? You know I can take care of myself, I promise—” 

“But that’s the thing, I don’t trust your promises anymore! You say you’re gonna do one thing, but then you get a call from Barry or whoever and you’re gone. Sometimes, you come back days later and that entire time you barely even text me!” her distressed voice is loud when she begins to pace around the hall. 

“Hey, hey, c’mere, yeah?” he tries to placate her by pulling her flush against his chest for a hug that, despite her protests, she melts into. “Listen, I know my job isn’t always…ideal, but you— you knew that when we met, right?” he tries to reason along with a comforting squeeze to her waist.  

“I just— I guess I didn’t realize it was gonna be this hard. I’ve never dated someone whose job is illegal,” she mumbles into his shirt before reluctantly withdrawing from the solace of his arms to get her point across.  

“But when we started this, you also promised this wasn’t gonna affect my life. But wanna know what happened the other day when I was out with my friends? This creepy guy approached me and said he wanted his money, and if he wasn’t getting it soon, he was gonna find another payment method.”  

“What the fuck? Did he— he didn’t hurt you, right?” he halts his movements while awaiting her answer with bated breath.  

“No, but it was really fucking scary,” she mutters out as she recalls how shaken up by the whole scene she’d been. However, when she’d dialed Rafe’s number with trembling fingers, the call had merely went into voicemail since he was apparently too busy to answer, as always.  

“I swear he’s never gonna so much as look at you again, alright? You remember what he looked like?” he asks while tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, followed by his thumb petting at the apple of her cheek with his concerned eyes flickering over her face. 

“Um…dirty hair, crazy eyes and this scar on his lip?” it’s easy to describe the guy’s appearance when the picture is permanently burned to her memory.  

“That piece of shit— we already had an agreement on the fucking money. Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” a crease forms between his brows.

“Cause you’re never home!” she yells at him when her protracted emotional turmoil finally boils over the edge; saturating their entire relationship in the process.  

“I was home yesterday and I’m home right now!” he matches her volume while his fingers tug at the roots of his bleached hair.  

“Well, it’s not enough for me! And I just think that all of this is…too much, okay? I can’t— I can’t live like this anymore,” she admits with a forlorn tone.  

He pauses.

“What are you saying? You’re…you’re leaving me?” he narrows his eyes in disbelief.  

“I don’t know, I just— think I need some time,” she murmurs out.  

“Time for what?” he seems perplexed by the entire concept of what she’s suggesting. 

“To think! All I’ve been able to think about these days is whether you’re alive or not, whether you’re even gonna make it home! And I’m fucking tired of this, okay?”

It’s clear that she’s upset and that these thoughts have been bouncing around her skull for quite some time now. If this is her attempt at breaking up with him though, he’s not going to allow for that to happen.  

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “Listen, I understand where you’re coming from, but you can’t just leave…no, okay? We’ll figure this shit out, yeah?” he tries to decipher what’s going on inside that head of hers with his gaze glued to her face— as if it’ll magically reveal all the answers he’s in a hopeless search for.

“I just— I don’t know if that’s possible.”  

“No, don’t say that. We’ll get through this like we always have,” he’s determined to change her mind, but she merely lets out a weary exhale. 

“Rafe, you’re not listening to me.” 

“I am! You’re just not thinking clearly. Why don’t we, uh, go to bed and tomorrow when we’re both well-rested we can talk about this better and—” 

“I don’t wanna talk about this tomorrow!” she huffs out, frustrated, making his distraught face crumple up as he tries to decide which way to approach this in order to not upset her more than he already has.

“Listen, listen. I’ll, uh, I’ll be better, okay? I’ll work less and—” 

“You always say that but— but you’re never gonna change! And I thought I could handle this, but I can’t,” she sounds defeated; rueful eyes flitting away from his pleading ones when teardrops begin to trickle down; dampening the skin of her cheeks.  

“No, you can’t— you can’t leave me. I need you. I love you,” his frantic rambles pour down his tongue when he takes her face into his callused palms— her eyes momentarily closing in response to his tender touch.  

“Rafe…please don’t make this any harder than it already is.” 

“And you love me too, yeah?” he doesn’t pay her resistance any mind. She notices how his own eyes grow glossy as well, even if he tries to blink away the liquid yearning to leak.  

“Of course I do,” she hums out; nodding her head that’s squished between his paws— heavy droplets soaking his palms.

“Then that’s all that matters. We can make this work,” his tone is definitive. 

“I just— I don’t know if we can,” she sniffles. 

“Don’t say shit like that. We can, okay? I’ll call Barry right now and tell him I need some time off with my girl, yeah? And we’ll figure this shit out.”  

At that, she lets out a melancholic sigh— resting her forehead on his chest when he pulls her flush against him with a consoling grip on her waist. The warmth of his body feels familiar; feels like home, but she’s already made her decision.  

He holds her close until they both travel to dreamland with their limbs tangled together, the steady rhythm of their breathing creating a muffled melody in their bedroom.  

However, when the amber rays of sunlight tickle his cheeks in the following morning, and he turns around to face her; he finds nothing more than her side of the bed bleak and desolate.

The entire house void of the only good thing in his life.

[rileyslibrary]

A/N: Based on @salbeitraeume’s comment and that anon’s story with the coolest mom. Thank you both 💕

———————————————————————

It all started with an apple—a simple snack that you chose to enjoy under the July’s sun.

Yes, it was without your lieutenant’s permission, but you assumed he forgot to excuse you from your duties, so you decided to take that break anyway. You worked hard today, shovelling dirt, piling sandbags, and creating the perfect setting for your next field exercise. You deserved that damn apple.

However, you made two mistakes: The first one was that you decided to take the matter into your own hands without asking or reminding him that breaks are vital under such heat. Your second mistake was standing in plain sight, indulging in your snack while making yourself an easy target for the lieutenant.

He gave you the lecture of your lifetime and then some more. Rhetorical questions poured out of his mouth, such as “You think you can defy me like that?” and “Would you like me to wave a palm branch in your face while I feed you grapes?”

He made you stand on the tractor’s roof where everyone could witness your shame as a punishment. Whenever someone dared to ask why you were up there, he ordered you to stand in attention and scream at the top of your lungs:

“MY DISTORTED SENSE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE PREVAILS OVER TEAMWORK, SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A BREAK, WITHOUT THE LIEUTENANT’S PERMISSION, AND EAT MY SNACKY WHILE MY FELLOW COMRADES KEPT BUSTING THEIR ASSES OFF IN THE HEAT.”

But the lieutenant made two other mistakes of his own: The first one was that he forgot to give you and the rest of the team a break, making you work non-stop under the heat. The second mistake was that he chose one of the hottest hours to deliver your punishment.

Exhaustion was the first sign, but you brushed it off since you were already tired. Soon enough, you could feel your pulse in your throat, and your ears began to ring. You looked at the ground, and the world started spinning.

Everything was a blur after that: the lieutenant rushing towards you, ordering others to give you space, a cooling sensation against your skin, and the medic murmuring the words “heat exhaustion.”

Heat exhaustion, huh? No shit.

Blinking your eyes, you find yourself in a sterile room, lying on a bed with an IV in your arm and a cold pack wrapped in cloth at the back of your neck.

You attempt to sit up, but a voice from your left cautions you.

“Don’t,” it says softly, “You should lie down.”

You turn your head towards the voice; it’s the lieutenant. He’s sitting with his elbows on his thighs, resting his chin in his hands. He stands up and comes closer, but you flinch and back away.

He outstretches his arms to show you he means no harm. He touches the cold pack under your neck, then gently cradles your head, removing it from its position. He leaves the room and returns moments later with a fresh one. He wraps it in a dry cloth, lifts your head, and places it beneath your neck again. He joins you on the bed.

You can see him struggling to find the right words. Each time he opens his mouth, he hesitates and closes it again. Finally, he stands and walks to his chair, picking up something before returning to your side.

It’s an apple.

“You were eating an apple, weren’t you?” He asks.

You nod.

He retracts a folding knife from his pocket and begins to peel it.

“Lt.,” you say, “I-I’m sorry, sir.”

“You’re sorry?” He asks, continuing to peel the apple, “No, I’m the one who should apologise to you.”

You look at him with half-lidded eyes. He continues speaking.

“I forgot to give you a break during a heatwave, and then I made things worse,” he confesses, cutting a piece of the apple. “I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

You look at him, then at the apple. “W-well, if it gives you any comfort, I forgive you, sir,” you murmur.

He extends a piece of apple towards you. “Here,” he says, “eat this.”

You accept his offer and watch him as he adjusts your headrest to a comfortable position. He walks towards the fan.

“Is the air okay?” He asks, “Should I move the fan, or are you comfortable?”

“It’s fine, sir,” you reply with a weak smile. “I’m fine.”

He picks up a water bottle from the cabinet and opens it up. Waiting for you to finish the piece of apple, he guides the bottle to your mouth and advises you to take small sips. His other hand supports your chin, ensuring it doesn’t spill on you.

You remember your earlier conversation, and a chuckle escapes your lips mid-drinking. You begin to cough, almost choking, and he pats your back.

“W-wait, Lt., wait,” you plead, “I have to tell you something.”

He stops and looks at you, confused.

“Remember when you were scolding me?” You ask.

“I do, soldier, and I’m not proud of it.”

“No, no, that’s not it,” you reply. “Remember when you asked me if I would like you to wave a palm branch in my face while you feed me grapes?”

He signs and looks at the peeled apple, then at the fan. He lets out a huff and shakes his head.

“Yes,” he says, struggling to suppress his laughter, “yes, I do.”

———————————————————————

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #5: CADMIUM COLORS

(also on bandcamp and spotify!)

Once again, welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Last time, I wrote a whole diatribe about my OCs while talking about I Wish That I Could Fall, and today, we're eating paint! Cadmium Colors featuring Soneji of Project Mikan!

Consider this a content warning: this post will discuss the pandemic, struggles with mental health, and suicidal ideation/attempts. I'm hoping it'll ultimately be uplifting, but the discussions at hand are incredibly heavy, and it wouldn't do this song right to be vague. Please be warned.

---

Let's talk about COVID.

At the beginning of 2020, I was in the midst of a long-term break from making music. It wasn't completely cold turkey, and I might not have even called it a break if you'd asked me at the time, but things were dire. I was still dealing with the burnout I'd sustained from the making of Autumn Every Day; I'd had my ego bruised by a live performance at a house party that went so hilariously bad it'd hurt even the most stoic performers (imagine watching an entire packed room of people clear out in 5 minutes flat from the already hyper-exposed vantage point of being on stage in front of them and knowing you single-handedly caused that lol); I had just moved across the country, and was preoccupied with trying to make ends meet as a 22 year old dealing with pure adulthood for the first time.

I was working a shitty minimum wage job at a discount clothing store I will not be naming, slogging through late-night shifts that wouldn't get me home until 3 am some nights. I had friends and roommates, but they were all just as overworked and exhausted and dealing with their own shit as me. I was mentally ill and unmedicated. Suicidal ideation was rearing its ugly head at my lowest moments.

Then, as I turned 23, a global pandemic shut the world down, my grandpa died with me being unable to attend his funeral, and I had a catastrophic mental breakdown that suddenly turned the voices in my head into a deafening cacophony of self-inflicted malice.

In hindsight, I think being 23 kinda just does that to you

---

Fast forward to 2021. I was back at my retail job with the pandemic raging in full force, my sense of self was held together with duct tape, positive self-talk essentially didn't exist for me, and I was the loneliest and lowest I had ever been. I was working the fewest hours I could get away with, and still, almost all spare time I had was taken up either by work or by my recovery from it.

This was around the time I got an email from Crypton, of all places - the people that make Hatsune Miku, for anyone uninformed. They wanted a remix of the song Happy Synthesizer for a Digital Stars compilation. I could not for the life of me tell you how I lucked into this or why they reached out to me of all people, but they did, and I was deathly determined to prove myself worthy of it.

This was August of 2021. I was staring down the barrel, languishing in what felt like only half of a life, fantasizing about death and trying to twist my thoughts into something that could at least keep me blearily shuffling forward another couple days. It was untenable.

(I'd also recently been diagnosed with OSDD 1b - this is a whole can of worms I can't really open until we talk about Breeze Blows, but it's important to at least mention that coping with this was a significant part of this turnaround.)

It's melodramatic, but I had only two options - make things again, or die.

I finished that remix within 24 hours of getting the stems, and I will gladly toot my own horn about it - it's really fucking good, in my opinion. Bittersweet ended up coming together in a mad dash over the next couple months as well. I was making music again.

Even though I was exponentially busier, things paradoxically got easier. I made the creative process a priority in my life, and not only did it give me an outlet for everything that had otherwise been eating away at my soul, but it struck a chord with other people who had been struggling as well. Things just... started getting brighter.

So I kept making music and living and yadda yadda blah blah here I am. This is all a lot of words and very personal stories of mental health struggles to say this:

One: The line between being an artist and being one of countless people forced to work jobs that go nowhere, that put their life at risk, that force them to strip parts of themselves away - it is a faint and transparent line built on circumstances of class and privilege and luck. Making Art and being an Artist aren't magical elevated states of existence, but something anyone is capable of if given the space to nurture their creativity. I believe the world should be a place where any person can do this.

Two: It's easy to convince yourself that art is meaningless in the face of the world at large. And yes, revolutions aren't fought by poetry and paintings, and people aren't fed through songs. But art is a source and a medium for connection; Art is how we find beauty in a disorganized and entropic world; Art is what we come home to and what words we write and pictures we paint and songs we sing to remind us that people matter to us and love is real and life is worth fucking living. Maybe that's corny and stupid, but it's true.

Three: So help me God, I will never work retail again in my entire life.

---

This is another song that is heavily inspired by artists like Prefab Sprout, Peter Gabriel, Kate Bush, and other artists of that ilk - very 80s, very flowery and sentimental lyricism, focused on telling a story. I greatly admire songs that aren't afraid to paint otherwise banal or ordinary scenes in abstract reverence!! I wanted the verses to contrast heavily with each other in that way, with verse one's relentless poeticisms (prosaic practice of depravity) and idioms turned on their head (suspending innocents above their disbelief) against verse two's incredibly straightforward depiction of a factory worker's circumstances.

The flowery language might have worked against me somewhat, though! I've seen a lot of folks that thought the ending was darker or much more defeatist than I intended, and while some of that is just inevitable with a work of art, I want to be clear.

Translator's note: this means "don't kill yourself, you idiot"!!

As you may have picked up from the previous post in this series, this song does heavily feature a leitmotif or two predominantly performed under pudgy pretenses. I'm not going to go on that whole novella-length spiel again, but rest assured knowing that this song, too, is one that makes me think about my OCs. Since it's something many people missed, however, I will take a moment to point out that this song quotes none other than Autumn Every Day off of my album of the same name!

Painting and visual art have been something of a reoccurring obsession of mine in my own art. I grew up around visual artists, have always been friends with many visual artists, and generally have a really intense love of it as a medium and a mode of expression. However, there's also always been a sense of... well, I don't want to call it jealousy, but it's jealousy. I've tried many times to start making visual art of my own, and I have made some things, but it's been a struggle, and I worry sometimes that my eye has permanently outstripped my ability.

However, in my quest to toss out grand expectations and simply have fun making art, I did recently pick up a cheap little drawing tablet! I'm excited to be a beginner at something artistic again...

Finally, I want to thank a couple people: Soneji of Project Mikan for the gorgeous, soaring saxophone solo; friend_xp for the mindboggling MV editing; and especially my good friend Que for the GORGEOUS painterly art that goes along with this song! Que's style was just perfect for this, and really tied the whole thing together immaculately!! There's no joke or deeper lore or anything I just fucking love Que's art go follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And with that, I think this post is complete!! If you have anything else you wanna know about, ask away in the replies! Tomorrow will be Breeze Blows with Marcy Nabors and Marlow Jacobs!!!

MAKE ART AND BE GAY

[celestie0]

hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.

i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)

but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics

that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc

but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”

not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone

i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention

but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.

anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others

i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)

i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.

hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love

- ellie

[blitzyn]

relax

alhaitham x m!reader

Request: well, since requests are open, perhaps I could request an alhaitham X male s/o where s/o has been really stressed lately with school and has been overworking himself. Because of this, alhaitham being the caring boyfriend he is comes to comfort and relax his beloved s/o with sex and aftercare. If possible, pls let alhaitham call his s/o a 'good boy' and just a praise kink in general, tysm!! 💕 — @ezraelo

a/n -> this mf reminds me of my dad so i kinda wrote what I think he'd say if i was in reader's situation tbh. NOT THE SEX THOUGH. anyways pgr fic first then hate sex w/childe next its been decades since I've done him (⁠｡⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠｡⁠) sigh sometimes i forget i don’t have to write so damn much

wc -> 3.6k

cw -> soft alhaitham (heart eyes pt2), anal fingering, anal sex, praise, not beta read

merry christmas and happy holidays!!

To say you were tired was an understatement—you were exhausted. Stressed. Angry. It felt like everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

First, you accidentally woke up late, was scolded by your teacher when you arrived and made the "perfect" example on what a scholar from the Akademiya should not be. Then you had to study for several hours for a few of your upcoming exams and evaluations—all while having to take some more tests the following week.

And as if that wasn't e-fucking-nough, you had done horribly on one of your essays so now you had to redo it for a better score, on top of needing to start yet another one regarding... Something. You forgot what the prompt was. Honestly, you forgot to do a lot of things. Like eat. Or drink water. Which was something that really didn't help to improve your mood.

You stumbled through the door trying to pry your uniform off, haphazardly tossing your hat to the side. You felt like shit and wanted nothing more than to flop on your bed and stay in there for the rest of your miserable life. But, like the universe was trying to give you the biggest middle finger ever, one of the loops on your clothes got caught on the corner of a counter. While you'd normally just take it off and go on your merry way, you weren't having it today and just yanked yourself forward, tearing the loop and the fabric it was connected to.

Finally making it to your room, you flopped on the bed face-first, muffling the loud groan that came from you. You stayed like that for a moment longer before turning your head, remembering to breathe deeply.

Two knocks came from the door. "You okay?" Your boyfriend, Alhaitham, asked, leaning against the frame as he stared at you.

"You're smart. Figure it out yourself," you muttered bitterly, wincing at the accusatory tone in your voice. You sighed, deciding to face him. "Sorry."

He shrugged, walking to sit on the edge of your shared bed. "What's wrong?" He questioned, his expression unchanging even when he watched your brows furrow in irritation.

"It's just... Ugh," you grumbled, rolling your eyes childishly. "Just a bad week. It feels like everything's going against me." You rolled onto your back, arms and legs sprawled out like a starfish. "I don't think I can catch up."

"You're in the Akademiya," Alhaitham said, giving you a look that made it seem like he didn't know why you were complaining. "Obviously it's going to be hard for you."

"'For you,'" you repeated, glaring at nothing in particular, but it was getting increasingly evident that you were beginning to direct your anger towards him. "Of course you don't get it. You've been smart your whole life."

He was quiet for a moment, letting you try to calm yourself before speaking again. "Don't sell yourself short like that. It's unhealthy."

You huffed. "It's not selling myself short if it's actually true." You pressed your palms against your eyes until you saw faint fireworks coloring the darkness. "I have to redo an essay because apparently it didn't go with damn prompt. Then I have to do another one, and I don't even know where to start, and—" you listed off your problems, your voice getting higher in pitch until you were on the verge of shedding tears, overwhelmed with the sheer amount of work you accidentally accumulated.

"Hey," he interrupted you, leaning to place a hand on your thigh. "Calm down." He gave you an unimpressed look when you snapped your mouth open to retort, watching you begrudgingly close it in defeat. "Breathe. You're getting worked up over things you can change."

But when you could hardly focus on utilizing the breathing techniques he taught you, he decided to take a different approach. "Let's have sex, then."

"What? Why? 'Cause of the post-nut clarity?" You sighed, rubbing your temple to stave off the impending headache after staring at him incredulously. Damn. Sometimes you forget how straightforward he could be.

Alhaitham gave you a look. It was deadpan—because when was it not?—but you could still sense the slightest bit of confusion. "If that's how you want to word it, yes," he said, before elaborating. "Sex can also help you relax and improve your immune system."

He quickly looked you up and down, and despite not saying anything, you knew what he was trying to imply. You looked like a mess.

"It can also help improve your quality of sleep," he added, crossing his arms against his chest. "It has a few other benefits than just feeling good, you know." He watched you ponder his suggestion, chewing on your lip absentmindedly before giving in with a sigh.

"Fine. But you're doing all the work," you said, propping yourself up on your elbows to look at him better.

"That was the plan." The corners of his lips quirked up in a brief, subtle smirk as he leaned to place his hands on your shoulders to gently push you back down. "Just relax."

He continued when you nodded, running his hands along your body, gently caressing every curve and contour of your frame. An eyebrow raised in question when he felt the torn patch in your clothes but decided against mentioning it as he guided you out of your suffocating uniform with practiced ease. Already, you seemed a bit calmer than earlier, giving yourself a well-deserved stretch that made you remind him of a cat.

You felt the tension beginning to seep out of your body with every article of clothing that was carelessly tossed to the floor, reaching your hands out to tug him closer. He obliged without hesitation, sighing in satisfaction when he melded his lips with yours. His hands slid below your underclothes, snaking them upwards until they found your chest. He tweaked and pinched your nipples as he moved his way downwards, placing kisses along your jawline and neck.

You softly moaned, brushing your fingers through his hair that had him leaning into your hand. He removed your shirt, trailing appreciative kisses down your sternum. A hand made its way down your front toward your pants, slipping a hand inside to wrap his fingers around your flaccid dick. Your breath hitched, instinctively widening your legs to give him better access, much to his pleasure.

He was gentle; his hands were soft and careful, and neither of you were in a rush. You felt your eyes flutter shut as your lips parted with every quiet gasp and sigh that left you, and he couldn't help but stare.

It annoyed him how little you thought of yourself when he could clearly see you as something more. Sure, it irked him how you complained about things that could easily be changed if you put your effort into it, but you were also right. He always had it academically easy and often found it hard to connect with others or understand their problems on a level that wasn't with you. He was well aware of this issue, knowing that it often hindered his ability to comfort, and—for the first time in how long?—it frustrated him.

Even if he had no idea how to properly soften his words around you or to consistently change his facial expressions, he always showed he cared by spending time with you, teaching you new things, or helping you understand foreign concepts. But even then, he was willing to try to tell you that you were more than what those pompous Akademiya professors reduced you to, that you were better than what you said you were.

"Look at me," he said, his voice soft and smooth, coaxing your pretty eyes open. He slipped his hands out of your shirt and cupped your cheeks tenderly, ensuring your focus on him. "It doesn't matter what everyone says about you when they don't understand that you have strengths that rest beyond the traditional Akademiya expectations."

"But that doesn't—"

He gave you yet another stern look, to which you quieted down with a huff. "It's okay to struggle. Everyone does at some point. Even those professors found something difficult before they became what they are. But you know what they did?"

He paused, gauging your reaction. He was aware that what he was saying probably didn't make you feel better or make the most sense, but he hoped that you could feel the sincerity in his voice. "They took a step back, took a deep breath, and figured out what they were doing wrong. They didn't do that overnight or by working themselves to the bone. That's what you need to acknowledge."

"But all my other colleagues are doing fine, and I'm the only one struggling..." You appreciated his words, truly, but they did little to quell your worries.

"Are you? How do you know that for sure?" He countered, sliding his hands down to caress your hips. He watched you pursed your lips, squirming slightly under his gaze. "Point is, you shouldn't try to compare yourself to everyone around you and overwork yourself because that only leads to bad work and a bigger hole for you to climb out of. You have everything else to be proud of—not just your academic qualities. Understand? Besides, you made it into the Akademiya. That's something very few people can do in the first place."

You looked away with a frown, but you nodded softly. Even though it sucked knowing that you weren't the best, he did have a point. Wallowing in your own failure did nothing to better yourself, as much as you hated to admit it.

"Thanks," you muttered, sniffling a little. His thumbs swiped underneath your eyes, clearing away any of the tears that happened to escape you.

"Don't let them define you. Define yourself," he said finally, leaning back down to kiss you again. It was soft, tender, unhurried, like he wanted you to feel every ounce of affection he harbored for you. He pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against yours. "Do you still want to do this?"

You nodded again, giving him a quick peck to the lips before wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "Mhm. I really need those benefits." Plus, you didn't favor being horny and sad.

Your lips curved in a smug grin when you saw his own quirk upwards in amusement, but he didn't comment on it. He sat up to tug your pants and underwear down, revealing your semi-hard cock. You shivered instinctively but kept your focus on him, waiting in anticipation for him to continue.

He leaned over to grab a bottle of lube from your nightstand, squeezing a generous amount on his fingers before pressing one into your hole. You sighed, sinking your teeth into your lower lip. He only offered a few pumps of his hand before adding a second one in, gently spreading them apart in a scissoring motion.

He wrapped his free hand around your cock, slowly jerking you off. He rubbed his thumb over the tip to smear the precum across your skin as wet sounds gradually filled the room. You noticed his eyes locked on your face and the expressions you wore, committing them to memory. He added a third finger for good measure, feeling you tense reflexively before relaxing just as fast.

"You're doing so good, [Name]," he praised, his voice low. He curled his fingers, pressing them against your prostate. He could feel his cock twitch in his pants at the sound of your moan, straining against the fabric. "I'm almost done. Then we can start."

You nodded, inhaling sharply through your nose when he began targeting the sensitive spot inside you. You could practically feel every surge of heat shoot up and down your spine, ending at your fingertips. Alhaitham could feel it too, every time your cock throbbed in his hold.

Your body felt warm and tingly when he moved both hands away from your body, wiping them off using a few tissues atop your nightstand. He grabbed the lube again and poured some on his palm to coat his cock, using his free hand to spread one of your thighs a bit wider. He peered up through his lashes, subtly raising an eyebrow in question. He continued as soon as you nodded, slowly pushing himself inside you.

You both let out a satisfied groan as he filled you, grasping onto his wrists as he held onto your hips.

"Fuck," he hissed, pushing further until he bottomed out completely. "You're such a good boy. You're taking me in so well." He perked up in attention when he felt you tighten at his words, noting how your eyes fluttered shut like you were savoring them. He wasn't overly aware of this newfound information, but maybe you had accidentally brought it to his attention now that you're stressed?

Either way, he didn’t comment on it, instead deciding to continue. “You feel so good, [Name]," he praised, leaning down to press his lips against the skin underneath your earlobe. You could feel the low rumble of his voice vibrating in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. He let you take a moment to adjust to him before moving, gently thrusting his hips.

You noticed him moving away again as you opened your eyes, finding yourself enamored with the way his muscles flexed in every movement of his. Soft gasps and moans left your lips when you looked up, instantly noticing his gaze on you.

“Stop staring at me,” you mumbled shyly, squirming a bit. It wasn’t that you hated having him look at you—frankly, that’s all you longed for sometimes, it’s just that what you did hit you. Being as vulnerable as you were wasn’t something you preferred, even when Alhaitham didn’t berate you for it.

“You were staring at me, first,” he countered swiftly, and you could hear the rare undertone of his amusement in his voice. It was your favorite sound. “Besides, what’s the harm in looking at the most handsome man in Sumeru?” His monotony nearly made his words laughable, but you could see that he was genuinely trying. Knowing that sent butterflies in your stomach all over again.

You looked away, effectively flustered with all his attention. “It’s embarrassing…”

“Only because you make it embarrassing,” he said, sliding a hand upwards to toy with one of your nipples. He subtly shifted his hips, angling them so that his cock better pressed against your prostate. He watched you intently when you let out a throaty moan, feeling his dick throb inside you.

You reflexively clenched your thighs tighter against his hips, sinking your teeth into your lower lip. You snaked a hand down to your leaking cock, wrapping your fingers around the base to give it a squeeze. “You can go faster,” you muttered, looking down to watch the way he slid in and out of you.

He nodded with a quiet hum, adjusting his grip on your waist to shift the weight on his knees to sacrifice his slower, deeper thrusts for quick and shallow ones. Moaning, you jerked yourself off in time with his movements, unable to tear your gaze away from him, even for a moment. Your eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you brought your free hand up to bring him closer to you by the back of his head. You kissed him needily and fervently, letting out noises that mixed in with the wet sounds that came from your hole. Your body rocked gently, listening intently to the rustling of your bedsheets and Alhaitham’s deep, husky breaths.

Suddenly, he lifted a hand up to place over your abdomen, lightly pushing down on it just as he buried himself balls deep inside you. He paused for a moment, sighing as he watched you squirm at the sudden stop before continuing, feeling himself move in and out of you. You could feel the heat in your belly intensifying with every thrust to your prostate, back arching, legs tightening around his waist.

“Fuck, I’m…” you panted, clenching tighter around his cock. “I’m so close, ‘Haitham.”

“I know. I can feel you,” he said, gently moving your hand away from your leaking cock to wrap his fingers around it. Quiet slaps mixed in with your soft noises and his breathy grunts as he fucked you a bit harder, eyes fixated on the blissful expression on in your face. His dick throbbed inside you as he eagerly chased after his own orgasm, leaning down to press his lips to your jaw, kissing up towards your ear.

“C’mon, [Name], cum for me,” he whispered, sending yet another wave of heat shoot up and down your spine. You could hardly stop the stream of moans that spilled from your lips as he focused on the tip of your cock, rubbing his thumb on the sensitive spot just below it, as if trying to coax out your cum.

“Oh god,” your voice was strained as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten to an unbearable degree, trying to hold out just a little longer. “F—Fuck! Alhaitham!” You moaned in ecstasy when you finally came, squeezing your eyes tightly shut. You tensed and trembled as your dick spurt cum on your stomach and his fingers as he helped you ride out your high.

“You’re so beautiful when you orgasm,” he groaned, his thrusts beginning to lose rhythm as he neared his own climax. He dug his fingers into your waist tighter, muttering praises into your ear when you began squirming at the discomfort of your overstimulation. It didn’t take much longer for him to finish as he stilled, gritting his teeth when he quickly pulled out to stroke himself to completion. He sighed in satisfaction when his orgasm subsided, leaving your abdomen coated in ropes of his cum.

“Wh—Why did you pull out?” You panted, wiping a bead of sweat off of your forehead.

“Isn’t it annoying to clean up afterward? You're always complaining about it whenever we have sex,” he questioned after a moment, taking a second to bask in the afterglow before getting up to reach for a tissue to clean your skin. He put his pants back on, gathering your clothes to put them in a laundry basket.

You shrugged. “I mean, sometimes. But I’m gonna take a bath either way.” You blinked in confusion when you saw him quirk a brow, fidgeting a bit when he didn’t stop staring at you.

“No. You’re going to sit and wait here while I make you something to eat, first,” he instructed, leaving no room for negotiation. “Afterwards, you’re going to go to sleep. Then you can take a bath when you wake up.”

As if on cue, your stomach growled audibly, quickly reminding you that you haven't eaten anything since yesterday. "But then I'm gonna be all sticky and gross when I eat," you said, knowing how much he disliked having dirty bedsheets for too long. It surprised you when he shrugged, leaning against the doorframe as he waited for you to decide.

"If you want to take a bath first, then I'll help you," he offered. You swiftly nodded, wanting to eat clean and comfortably. He nodded and told you to wait for a moment as he prepared the water for you, leaving you by yourself for a while until he returned. The two of you walked into the bathroom where a bathtub of warm water awaited you. But just as you raised your leg to enter, a sudden wave of dizziness overcame you. Luckily, Alhaitham was there to keep you from falling with a firm hand on your arm, carefully helping you into the water.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes darting across your face for any sign of distress. He relaxed upon seeing nothing but waited for your response for further confirmation.

"Yeah. It's just something that happens when I get too hungry, y'know?" You explained sheepishly, splashing some of the water onto your arms and back.

"No, I don't know." He ignored the way you rolled your eyes. "I'll be right back, then."

You hummed to yourself, not minding his absence as you savored the warmth surrounding you, resting your head against the edge of the tub. You nearly fell asleep in the time it took for Alhaitham to return, jumping in surprise at the sound of his voice.

"Hey," he spoke, returning to your side with a bowl in his hand. "Eat this for now."

He kneeled down, bringing the bowl close enough to let you reach in and take whatever was inside. They were fruits, you saw as you happily grabbed one, tossing it into your mouth. You had to stop yourself from grabbing a handful and eating it all in one go, forcing yourself to appreciate every bite. You noticed him shifting behind you, leaning forward instinctively when he began cleaning your back with a small, wet towel.

The two of you basked in the comforting silence for a while as you let him take care of you until you turned your head to face him. "I love you," you said with a little grin.

"I know," he replied, putting the bowl onto the floor.

"Say it back." You pouted, but you knew he was only teasing.

His mouth quirked up in a faint smile, leaning forward to give you a quick peck on your lips. "I love you too."

[hayhenna]

"Falling Apart"

Life on the Oro Jackson was never dull, but today was especially ridiculous.

“ACHOO!”

With a violent sneeze, Buggy’s left arm detached and flopped onto the deck.

“Ah, crap—wait, no!”

Before Buggy could react, his right leg gave out, his torso slid sideways, and his head rolled clean off his shoulders, landing with a dull thud at Shanks’ feet. His limbs were now scattered around him like a poorly assembled action figure.

Shanks stared down, holding back a laugh. "Well, that’s new."

Buggy’s floating hand weakly flipped him off.

"I swear to Roger, if you laugh, I’ll—ACHOO!" His nose popped off this time.

Shanks finally lost it, doubling over with laughter. “Buggy, you’re literally falling apart.”

“No shit, genius,” Buggy groaned. His detached arms twitched, but no matter how hard he tried, they wouldn’t reconnect properly. His powers were too weak from the fever. “Ugh, I can’t even put myself back together! This sucks.”

Shanks bent down, scooping up Buggy’s head and holding it in his hands. Buggy’s cheeks were flushed—not from embarrassment (yet) but from the fever burning him up.

“Alright, come on. Let’s get you to bed before we lose more pieces of you,” Shanks said.

Buggy let out a tired grumble. “No way. I don’t need your help.”

Shanks gave him a pointed look. "Buggy. You are literally disassembled on the floor."

"…Fine."

Getting Buggy to the infirmary was an adventure on its own.

Shanks had to carry Buggy’s head under his arm while gathering his limbs one by one, all while dodging the amused looks of the crew. At one point, he nearly tripped on Buggy’s knee rolling across the deck.

“Oi, Shanks,” one of the crew members called. “That’s some puzzle you got there.”

“Shut it!” Buggy’s head snapped, but it just made him cough.

By the time they reached the infirmary, Buggy was too exhausted to complain anymore. Shanks pieced him back together the best he could—some parts still refused to attach properly, leaving Buggy’s hand backward and his foot twitching randomly.

“Looks like you’re gonna be a little crooked for a while,” Shanks teased.

Buggy shot him a tired glare but didn’t have the energy to argue. He just sank into the bed, exhaling heavily.

Shanks sat beside him, watching as Buggy’s usual fiery attitude dimmed under his exhaustion. For the first time, Buggy looked… peaceful.

“You’re being quiet,” Shanks said, folding his arms. “That’s kinda weird.”

Buggy huffed weakly. “Too tired to yell at you, dumbass.”

Silence stretched between them, comfortable but unfamiliar. Then, Buggy muttered something so low that Shanks almost missed it.

“…I’m glad it’s you.”

Shanks blinked. “Huh?”

Buggy turned his feverish gaze toward him trying to reach his hand. "If someone had to take care of me… I’d rather it be you."

Shanks’ heart skipped a beat.

Buggy’s usual sharp, taunting expression was softer now, his long eyelashes casting shadows against his flushed cheeks. His pale skin was tinged pink, the fever making his chest rise and fall faster than usual, each breath shaky. A bead of sweat slipped down from beneath his headband, trailing along his temple before disappearing into his messy blue hair.

Shanks swallowed. He had seen Buggy angry, smug, cackling like a madman—but this? This was new. And it made his pulse hammer in his ears.

“W-Where is this coming from?” Shanks asked, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up his neck.

Buggy sighed, half-laughing. “Remember that time I tried to storm off during a fight, but my legs went the other way, and you had to chase them down?”

Shanks grinned, forcing himself to focus. “Oh yeah. That was hilarious.”

Buggy rolled his eyes but smirked a little. “Yeah, well… you always pick up my pieces, huh?”

Shanks’ throat went dry. There was something about the way Buggy said it—so casual, but so genuine.

Before he could figure out what to say, Buggy leaned in slightly and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Shanks’ brain completely short-circuited.

“…!!!”

Buggy smirked at his reaction. "Ha. You’re blushing."

Shanks, still flustered, grumbled, “You definitely aren’t sick enough if you’re still teasing me.”

Buggy chuckled, but his eyelids were drooping now, exhaustion finally winning. As he drifted off, Shanks watched over him, his own hand brushing over where Buggy had kissed him.

…Yeah. This wasn’t so bad.

----

End ♥��🩵

[hollowaluminumvessel]

Post-114 (Still Not Ferin Well) headcanons 🤗

long post, Hcs for gillion, Jay and chibo under the cut ♥

Gillion(real)

-since his lay on hands wasn't an immediate reaction, all of his missing skin and the holes in his hands became scar tissue.

-once they got back to the ship and everything was calm again, his hair was soooo ratty and knotted. The crew spent ages combing it out, washing out the blood and grime, and making sure it was tied up next time they did something like that.

-when doppelgilly was voided and became a husk, Gillion felt bad. He knew that he shouldn't, he knew that doppelgilly was some evil copy of himself but doppelgilly looked, acted, and felt like himself. It was like looking in a mirror.

-to chip, Jay, and the rest of the crew, he has literally never looked worse. He looks exhausted, he looks beaten. To gil thoigh, he thinks that hes seen worse. He hasnt. The moment he was healed, they sent him to the tub.

-he nearly fell asleep in the elevator, and then while Jay and Gryffon helped with his hair.

-Gillion WILL have lasting trauma and you are NOT changing my mind. I mean no chance he doesn't right?? A Triton literally said to him, WHILE CHAINED, "YOU ABANDONED US." COME ON BRO THATS NOT EVEN THE WORST OF IT

-when Gil was first taken, his neck literally broke. It's verbally stated that if he hadn't casted death ward, he would literally be dead. And he was yanked upwards, as if he were hanged. That bitch should be DEAD AF DAWG. DEAD

Jay

-Jay is second guessing herself like the sky literally fell and it's her fault. She's questioning her role, her right to be a leader, even her life. She spends that night crying as quiet as she can. It felt good, she hasn't had a good silent sob session in a few months. She needed to let it out.

-When Jay put together that Gillion was actually doppelgillion, the loud noises started happening and she fuckin BOOKED IT over to the leviathan room. She got them into this mess, if she didn't get them out she'd never forgive herself.

-when gillion was sent to the tub and the rest of the crew left to do whatever they pleased, chip held Jay back. He told her that it wasn't all her fault. He said that he doesn't blame her for indulging on information about her sister, because why else are they going to the hole in the sea? For laughs? No, it's for chip to do the same thing. They hug then. And then they go about their day/night.

-Jay's hair is singed. When they finished with Gillions hair, they turn to Jay's and cut it as short as she'll let them. Her hair used to be around waist length, as she'd ignored it for a while, only doing so much as to brush it every morning and night to prevent knotting, and goddamn that shit was greasy. She wasn't the only one though so they didn't put it past her. Her hair after the cut is probably upper back to shoulder length. Queen comes along and helps her style it so she doesn't look stupid like she thinks she does.

-she denies that she likes it at all. She's lying and they all know it.

Chip

-im gonna be so fr with myself and say I haven't paid the most attention to chibo so if I get anything character-wise wrong, mercy 🙏

-chips bones are weaker now, some even broken from when he opened the drawer and the ringing rang. Griz said it splintered through his bones, I'm not letting that go

-anyway think like Hector from coco. Some bones are split and broken, some are being held together with medical tape, etc. Basically he's more broken than ever.

-in the fight with the holloweds on the ship. One of them managed to get a lucky shot right on the hole in his chest where his heart should be. Later that night, it burns. He scratches, he rubs, he does anything he can to make the burn go away but nothing works. It seems to have lessened the next day though, so he's not worried.

-theres discolored bruising around his neck where the slimy tongue is.

-on the same note, chip was being dragged much slower, so his neck didn't break, but he was held much tighter.

-when chip told Jay it wasn't her fault, it was all he could do to keep from crying. Because deep down, he thinks it was his. He's the one taking them to the hole, he's the one that brought them into this mess in the first place. He wished he'd never met anyone on this ship, so at least they'd be safe, home, and away from this. He's disappointed in himself. He's angry and sad and he's so upset that he's putting his crew through this nonsense.

-chip thinks the fact that doppelgilly pulled some of the worst cards back to back was hilarious. Then he looks at gillion later on and sees how he's contemplating and he rethinks. He doesn't really change his mind, but he rethinks.

[flor4de4amor]

thinking about how when aviator!abby gets home from base she asks you to unbraid her hair and play with it

Aviator!abby brainrot

so i got a bit ahead of myself writing for this... n changed the prompt a little to washing avi!abby's hair cause i love her + my love language is acts of service.

just a reminder for everyone reading, these aviator!abby writings are the last of the au as i'm clearing out drafts plz enjoy!

click for palestine | boycott tlou | read b4 engaging w me

warnings: casual nudity, abby's an annoying freak - per the usual.

abby’s hair is a tousled mess. she most likely undid her braid in the privacy of your shared garage, once parked after her long work day. her face is tense and you can see her body is rigid. it’s been a long day for her. she’s pressing your face with wet kisses, slaughtering your face with appreciation in the front doorway. “hi baby,” you mumble into her neck.

“hello,” she whispers back to you. exhaustion is evident in her voice. you know exactly what she needs.

running your fingers through her messy hair she groans, “want me to wash your hair up?” you offer while twirling your fingers around her soft wavy ends, a result of her tight braid.

“mm,” she groans back appreciatively, which you take for a yes. 

“you’re lucky i speak your secret little language of grunts,” you tell her softly. she pinches your backside in retaliation. you groan and laugh all at once. “be nice to me or else i’m not gonna run your bath,” you threaten without meaning. 

“sorry,” she mutters into your neck. her weight is heavy on top of your body as she clings to your flesh. her hands come underneath your sleep shirt, running up and down your spine. her way of apologizing silently. you separate, and abby sprawls out on the couch while you run the bath for her.

she sneaks up on you silently. while you’re bent over, vunerably, sticking your index finger in the running water, checking how hot it is. she snaps her hips into yours while your knees are dug into the bathroom tile. she pretends to fuck you mercilessly, and soft giggles escape her mouth.

you gasp at her actions, “abigail!” you laugh. “here i am rushing to take care of you, and you molest me.” you tease. your neck craning to look back at her.  

her face is red with excitement and a smile prominent on her lips. she shrugs her shoulders, “couldn’t help myself, your ass is so cute,” her hand reaches down to pinch your left cheek, as your underwear peeks out from underneath your sleep shirt.  you jump upright, laughing at her actions. 

“you’re agitating me,” you sigh though your smile is peering through your lips. you turn around to face her, a playful glare rest on your face. all a facade, it’s near impossible to stay mad with abby.

“sorry,” she mutters again, her hands touching the back of your neck. her thumb rubbing slow circles on the base of your skull with care. you know she’s not really sorry.

“all these sorry, sorry, sorries, full of shit.” you sigh as her warm hands comfort your neck. “just take your clothes off and get in the bath babe,” you command gently.

“kinky,” she mutters with a sly smile.

“abigail,” you roll your eyes at her, taking your time to unbutton her uniform top, as she stalls. her hands reach to undo her khakis, the checkered print of her boy shorts poking through the undone zipper. 

“mrs. anderson,” she replies with that stupid voice of hers. she’s down to her sports bra, which she quickly discards, and her boy shorts, which she’s more than happy to rip off. her toned body on display alongside her messy hair, you can’t help but take a minute to admire her and her confidence.

“into the bath please,” you command of her once more. she slides in, with ease.

“you’re so bossy today.” you smile and scoff. her legs soak in the water and her lean back is pressed against the cold ceramic of the tub, facing you. her blonde waves covering her shoulder blades.

“you complain too much, remember who’s gonna take care of you when you get old.” you remark, and grab the shower cup from the edge of the tub. 

“can’t help myself babe,” she muses with her eyes closed in relaxation.

 you fill the cup up with the running faucet water, “pass me the shampoo abby,” you tell her while sitting the cup next to you. you sit on top of a step stool, matching your squatting heigh to abby’s sitting height, which still carries a few inches over you. she opens her eyes and hands you the mint scented shampoo. you crack open the plastic container, squirt some into your hands, and place the soap unto your wife’s scalp. she sighs at the cooling sensation, but moans in satisfaction once you begin scrubbing her scalp. your nails scratching away any impurities that lay on her pretty little head, suds building on top of her blonde hair. you rinse the soap out with the plastic cup besides you, brushing her long locks when finished. “pass me the conditioner now, yeah?”

she obliges, passing the container. “thank you, love.” she turns head around, kissing you softly.

“well someone’s gotta take care of you yeah?” you smile against her lips.

“and i’m glad it’s you,” she kisses you once more.

you lather the conditioner in her long hair, sloppily braiding it so it gets out of her way. “rise off, yeah?” you urge her, knowing that she likes to shower without help.

you groan getting up from the stool, watching as she lifts the lever, turning the shower on, wincing slightly as the hot water hits her chest. you sit on the lidded toilet, observing while she scrubs herself with pine soap. she always smells like a christmas tree. she nods at you once finished, “come rinse my hair out please?” she practically begs. 

“you’re just a spoiled little princess,” you smile at her freckled face and blue eyes. but you oblige, getting up anyway. 

“you’ve made me this way,” abby replies and sits back down once more. you scoff and use the cup to wash the conditioner off her hair. brushing out the soft lather with your fingers delicately. once you’ve finished up, your wife steps out the shower, and you wrap a towel around her. water dripping from her hairline to her forehead. “you gonna braid my hair for work tomorrow?” abby asks, throwing in some puppy dog eyes. 

you sigh, “i can’t say no when you ask like that.”

abby pumps her fist in victory, “love you so much baby.” she kisses your cheeks relentlessly. 

“shut up anderson, you’re getting me all wet,” she almost cuts you off to make a dirty joke before you click your tongue at her, silencing her quickly. “go get dressed so i can pamper you some more.”

“sure thing baby.” she paddles out the bathroom and rushes into your bedroom, eager for more of your caring touch.

[lilg05]

Im sorry

Pov: paige and you get into a fight

Warnings: angst swearing

Today has been quite literally one of the most exhausting days you’ve had in a while you were stressed out the max and your anxiety was at an all time high. All you wanted to do was go home and see your beautiful girlfriend.

My love

Hi baby

Hi paigey

I have some bad news

Coach scheduled a last

minute practice

Oh okay i’ll see you

when your done love

you

This was your breaking point you walked to your car and sat there trying not to cry for a good 10 minutes before you drove home. By the time you got home paige’s practice was just now starting so you knew you had 2 hours to decompress. You took a shower put on some clothes and started watching a movie but still you were still really emotional. You heard the door open and shut harshly then a huff of aggression the sound of shoes and a pair of keys being thrown around.

“Paige is that you?”

“Who else would it be?” she asked sourly.

“I don’t know i was just making sure” you mumbled “how was practice?”

“it was fine”

“what’s wrong”

“Damn why do you ask so many questions.” paige asked.

That shit you right up tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“I’m s-“

“I swear to go if you say i’m sorry y/n you need to learn how to stick up for yourself”

Paige was just nitpicking at you since she got home. Your emotional state wasn’t making it any better. Tears were rolling down your face now, paige taking a notice of it.

“Why are you crying?” she’s asked rudely.

“Oh i don’t know maybe because my girlfriend has been nothing but a dick since she’s gotten home”

“oh really i’ve been a dick says the one who’s mad at me over something i can’t control!”

“What the hell are you talking about not once did i say i was mad at you?”

“You’re texts say otherwise “oh okay i’ll see you when you’re done love you” sounds super friendly and not like your mad at me at all!”

“Paige i have had a shit ass day okay and you yelling at me isn’t gonna make it better” you sigh “i’m sorry that you had a rough practice but don’t take it out on me.”

“Oh so you think i haven’t had a rough day”

“oh my god i never said that either” you huff “stop putting word in my mouth”

“wow looks like someone grew a backbone” she mumbles “finally i won’t have to stick up for your ass”

“Paige madison bueckers”

“What, what did i do this time you know i should have went to aubrey’s if i knew my girlfriend was gonna be a bitch.”

That was it paige calling you a bitch plus everything else added was your last straw you just broke down crying.

“god paige i can handle you being rude about me not being able to stick up for myself but that shit hurt” you sob

Paige didn’t notice the word that were coming out of here mouth until she said them.

“maybe we should take a break then”

“w-what”

“i’m gonna go stay at aubrey’s” she mumbles

“no paigey please don’t please don’t leave me” you hug yourself and sob as she packs a bag.

“i’m sorry” paige said as she left leaving you on the floor sobbing

Sorry if this is bad lmk if i should do a part 2

[littlxpxtal]

True Blue

TYRANTS || STORY MASTERLIST

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader

WARNINGS: MDNI 18+ Content, swearing, sexual content, drug and alcohol use, violence

WORD COUNT: 2.2K

And it feels good

To be known so well

I can't hide from you

Like I hide from myself

February

Noah unbuckled his seatbelt before reaching over to cup my face and press a soft kiss on my cheek. He got out of the car and came over to the passenger side to open my door for me. We walked hand in hand to my front door, the motion sensor lighting up as we approached.

“I had a really good time tonight” I said, my breath fogging in the crisp air.

He brushed a piece of hair behind my ear and smiled.

“Me too. I’m going to be thinking about that filet for weeks.” He chuckled.

“Thanks for picking me up and everything. I should probably get inside, it’s late.” I took a step towards the door, and he reached out to grab my hand.

”Can we do this again?” He asked with pleading eyes. I nodded my head yes, just as Lucy swung the front door open.

”There you are!” She yells, pulling me into the house.

“I’ll text you” I said to him before she shut the door in his face.

”You’re unbelievable.” I scolded her, while taking off my jacket and boots.

“Who even is that guy?” She questions, arms crossed over her chest.

”His names Noah. We’ve gotten close this year and he finally asked me out. We usually just study together but tonight was our first date.” She rolled her eyes in response.

”He dosn’t seem like your type.”

”Okay, then what’s my type Lucy?”

”Blondes.” She stated matter-of-factory. I huffed in response, walking towards the basement door.

I contemplated fighting back, but I was exhausted from my day, so I just went downstairs. Finally laying down on my bed I checked my messages.

Sab:

Please tell me that’s who I think it is on your story lol

Rafe Cameron:

Noah McKinney? Really?

Kiara, Cleo & Sarah:

Y/N who is that mysterious MAN on your story????????

and why have we not heard a single thing about him

CRICKETS

they’re probably fucking rn

GET IT Y/N

I sighed, and decided to respond to the group chat with the girls first.

Hey, his name is Noah he goes to Kook academy w me lol. We got kinda close this school year and he asked me on a date so I said yes. That was technically my real first date like ever

TELL US EVERYTHING

Well we were studying for our history exam together since we have the same class together this semester, and he asked if I wanted to try out the new steak house that opened up on Willow Ave and I said yes. He picked me up, opened all my doors for me and even pulled out my chair for me when we sat down at the table. He picked up the check and the dropped me off at home. He kissed me on the cheek, I think he was going to make a move but my stupid sister cockblocked us. That’s about it

this is literally amazing news

He sounds like a true gentleman

Ya we wouldn’t know anything about that around here

So do you like him?

I’m still trying to figure that out I think. He’s a nice guy but I didn’t feel a spark like I’ve felt before.

Wait this is also news to me WHO HAS MADE YOU FEEL SPARKS

oh are you talking about that one time you and j hooked

KIE FUCK OFF

Y/N, Kie & JJ are fucking now btw

WTF I’ve missed so much

girl you never come down to the cut anymore

ya and my parents kicked me out so im basically living w JJ now

Ya his dad bailed btw

holy shit we need a major catch up ASAP. Can you guys come over tomorrow? Girls night ????????????

we’ll be there.

I swipe off of our chat and respond to Sab next

Yupppp its Noah lol

Sooo rafe’s out???

Lmao fuck off

After a few more minutes of letting Rafe’s text sit there, I finally respond.

Yea, we study together

He immediately responded.

that didn’t look like studying to me

study breaks are a thing

yea at a fucking steakhouse be real

some men are more chivalrous than others

his chat bubble appears, then disappears. After waiting a few more moments, with no response, i click my phone off and head to the bathroom to get ready. After returning, there was still no response from Rafe, but I did have a text from Noah.

Hey beautiful, I made it home. I had a great time, let me know when you’re free, I’d love to do this again.

I had a great time too, I’ll let you know!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With my parents on the mainland for business and Lucy staying over at a friends, I had the whole house to myself.

I set everything up in a cute valentines theme, with heart shaped flasks, cookies baking in the oven, an assortment of snacks and sweet treats on the main coffee table, 3 bottles of red wine and a lineup of romcoms ready. Before I knew it, the front door swung open, to reveal Kie, carrying two huge squishmallows and a blanket, Cleo carrying what I assume is both of their bags.

”Y/N” they screamed in unison. I ran up to them, squeezing them both as hard as I could.

”I missed you guys so much” I sobbed, tears immediately falling from my eyes.

”Now don’t cry miss girl. We’re here now, no need to worry” Cleo affirmed, planting a kiss to my forehead.

As if on cue, Sarah walked through the open front door, a bottle of wine in her right hand a bouquet of flowers in her left.

”There’s my girl!”

I let go of the girls and embraced Sarah.

“God I missed you”

”yea you’ve seen my brother more than you’ve seen me!” She jokes. I give her shoulder a slight push, a blush creeping along my teary cheeks.

Kiara, while putting the stuffed animals on the couch, whips around.

”You see rafe a lot?” She questions, raising an eyebrow.

”Not like a lot…. Let me have a drink or two and I’ll fill you in.” I say, fiddling with my hair.

”Gods I can’t wait to hear about this” Cleo laps her hands together and sits down on the couch.

The timer on the oven beeps and I walk over to the kitchen, Sarah following behind, getting a vase from the cabinet, where we’ve always kept them.

“I forgot how well I know this places” she giggles.

”I’m sorry I don’t have you over anymore, Im sorry I haven’t been able to see any of you guys really. I’ve been such a bad friend.”

”Dude your parents are tough.”

”Coming from you ie? Yours literally kicked you out!”

”they did it cus I started seeing JJ. And they gave me an ultimatum. I chose him.” She said with a soft smile.

“Mine said they wouldn’t help me with college.” I said, hanging my head low, embarrassment flooding my head, realizing how selfish my reasoning was.

”okay yea but you actually have a real future miss smarty pants.” Cleo chimes in, walking into the kitchen to join us.

”I guess. I think you made the right decision though Kie, JJ is a great guy,and I’m sure your parents will get over it.”

”yea and if they don’t. I honestly don’t care” she says shrugging her shoulders. ”Plus, you know me. I don’t really like being told what to do.”

”I think that’s the difference between me and you. Sometimes I can’t function unless im being directed.”

”yea but it keeps you out of trouble.” She responds, reaching into the drawer to get out a bottle opener.

“Speaking of … I heard what happened on the beach … with the turtles and Ruthie and everything.” I say, using a spatula to take the cookies off the baking tray onto a cooling rack.

”God don’t even get me started. You should’ve seen them Y/N, they all just stood there. Even fucking rafe and Sofia.”

I stood up straight and slowly turned my head.

”Im surprised he wasn’t with Carissa” I say, with a tone of annoyance in my voice.

”She was so last semester. Rafe always has a new girl on his side for each season.” Sarah grumbles, holding out her glass to Kie for her to fill. The thought of Rafe and Sofia hanging out in public was too humiliating to even process. The last time we had seen each other outside of school was New Years Eve. I made it a point to avoid any of the parties that have been thrown so I can focus on finishing out the year strong, and to avoid having to speak about what happened between Rafe and I that night. It was frustrating to think Sofia is Carissa’s replacement. I wasn’t even a placement to begin with, I was just there. Floating around, like I always have.

“So what are you going to do to get back at her?” I ask, wiping my hands clean on a rag, trying to avoid the comment Sarah just made.

”We’ve been cooking up something” Cleo says with a smirk.

”Yea but the boys want to handle it themselves. “ Kie says, rolling her eyes.

”the fuck are they gonna do pull another gun on them?” I say, gaining giggles in response from all three.

”Anyone want a cookie?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few rounds of the absurdly confusing card game Cleo tried teaching us, I felt bubbly and light from the wine I had been drinking.

“So Toppers with Ruthie now?” I ask, a slight hiccup escaping my lips.

“Yep. Well, as far as I can tell” Kie responded, placing a card down.

“Wait wasn’t he seeing Sab?” Sarah questioned. Cleo and I groaned in response to the card Kie put down, putting them ahead of us in the game.

I placed a card down and picked up another from the deck. “To be honest, i don’t actually know what’s even happened between them... they would just hang out at parties and she would stay back with him. I tried not to ask too many questions.”

The reality was, the more asked her about topper, the more I knew she would ask rafe. So I just left it alone, especially after she got mad at me for ditching her on new years.

Now that I think about it, I don’t even know who ended up being her new years kiss. Im assuming it wasn’t topper.

“Didn’t you go to his New Year’s party?” Kie asked, taking a sip from her cup.

“Uh yea, it was lame tho so I dipped pretty early.” Sarah started giggling, and I kicked her with my foot.

”What , what’s so funny?”

”Cus rafe just so happened to want to come back with my dad for new years. And he told me he ended up at toppers”

I can feel my face flush, as Kie & Cleos mouths drop open.

”Well, sounds like he came back for a special someone.”

”I have no idea what you guys are even talking about.” I say, finishing the last of my drink in a large gulp, standing up to get a refill.

“I caught Rafe FaceTiming her when we were in Bora Bora, so I can only assume he had quite the reason to leave a WEEK early”

”SARAH” I screamed from the kitchen.

“What! If it wasn’t such a big deal you wouldn’t be freaking out right now.”

”So you two…” Cleo asks with a smirk, tilting her head at me as I walked back in with a full glass.

”Look its nothing alright. When Sabrina and topper were.. doing whatever they were doing, I was always sucked into hanging out with them at parties. And we would just hang out. It’s obviously nothing serious, especially if he’s all over Sofia now.”

”So what happened between you two?” Kie asks, holding out her glass to get topped off by me. I fill her glass up and set the bottle down wit a sigh.

“Just a few hook ups. Nothing crazy. We see each other every once in a while. Usually when one or the other is bored. He seemed pissed about me hanging out with Noah yesterday though.”

”God is that why he was an asshole at dinner last night?” Sarah asks. I shrug m shoulders in response and look over to Kie & Cle, whose mouths are still hung open.

”And you’re okay with this?” Cleo asks Sarah. she laughs and puts her arm around my shoulder.

”I thinks he deserves better than Rafe, but it would be dope if we could be sisters. We’ve all been around each other since I can remember. If rafe didn’t suck so much I would throw them a wedding right now.”

”Alright bitch you’re drunk.” Kie says with a laugh.

”I’m serious though!” Sarah proclaims. “But can you tell us about Noah now?”

“I mean, he’s a really nice guy. Super sweet and all. He wants to go on another date.”

”This is awkwardly close to Valentine’s Day” Kie chimes in. I shrug my shoulders and bite my bottom lip.

”Yea, I told him I’d let him know when im free so I guess we’ll see.”

”Well do you want a boyfriend, or…” Cleo asks.

”I don’t know. But speaking of boyfriend… YOU AND POPE???? I HAD TO FIND OUT FORM INSTAGRAM” I shouted, practically leaping out of my seat. She swats her hands in the air and blows a raspberry through her lips.

”It’s not a big deal, it just kind of happened, ya know?” She says, using her hands to try and hide her face.

”Okay so you all three have boyfriends… I guess I have to get one now.” I proclaimed, taking a sip from my glass.

”Don’t rush into it though love, you need to find the right person for you.” Kie says, placing her hand on my knee.

I look around at the girls,flushed faces and pink lips from the wine we had been drinking.

”I love you guys” I say softly. Before I know it, im being tackled to the ground in a big group hug.

“We love you too, Y/N” Sarah says into my ear.

“And we always will” Kies muffled voice rumbles against my shoulder.

“Forever and ever” Cleo chimes in.

Previous Chapter | Instagram AU | Next Chapter

tags: @ltristessedureratoujours

[phagodyke]

maaan i was having breakfast w my flatmate this morning and she'd already done all her jobhunting stuff for the day extra early so she can play videogames and im rly glad shes able to motivate herself like that but also seeing the steam popup notifying me shes playing smth makes me feel like the kid who didnt finish the work and has to stay in the classroom during break watching their friends play outside