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imababblekat · 5 months ago

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Simon sees you sitting curled up in a chair, eyes peering lost at the sketchbook and computer before. He knows that look. It’s a look you often get when the team finally gets some time off, but you brain is stuck in this void of being unable to commit to any hobbies you once enjoyed. You told him about it once, it was offhandedly and you hadn’t delved much into it with due to still being fairly new and not wanting to bother the apparent cold stone lieutenant. Simon paid attention though, and this detail about yourself had been added to his mentail folder of his teammates.

A deep breath huffed out your nose, head drooping into your folded arms, when your ears picked up on the sound of light footsteps entering the kitchen area you resided.

“The usual?”, came Simons gruff voice, large hands reaching into the cabinet for your and his mugs.

“The usual.”, you mumbled in reply, staring at your phone and resisting the urge to start doom scrolling.

It was a battle you lost as you reached out to open an app and scroll mindlessly through its feed, the light clinking of Simon making you both tea behind you. You’re not sure how long he had taken, too lost in the endless information of peoples lives and other nonsensical things scrolling past your dulled eyes, not registering a thing you watched or read. At some point though, your phone had been snatched from your hands, replaced by a warm cup of your favorite tea, Simon pulling out the chair beside you to sit with his own.

You couldn’t even bother the smallest fuss at the large soldier for taking your phone, simpling taking a sip and then blindly staring into the liquid void.

“That bad today?”

You nod with a groan, putting your cup down to splay your hands out at the objects you once enjoyed before you.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I thought maybe I was bogged down by knowing I had chores to take care of, but even after finishing those I still can’t get myself to do any of my hobbies!”

Simon sipped his tea, dark eyes glancing up at your downtrodden expression. You thought nothing of his silence, having known him for a while now that his silence was him listening. If he truly wasn’t interested, he would have left, hell he wouldn’t have even bothered to make you a drink.

“I just. . .”, you hold your head in your hands, “I don’t feel myself. I finally get a break, and I can’t do anything I wanted to do. What’s the point of having hobbies if every time I try one of them, I immediately become disinterested?”

The Brit beside you stares down into his own mug now, thinking on your words, a silence filling in besides the muffled sound of Johnny bellowing songs in the shower upstairs. Before, he wouldn’t give two shits about something like this, leaving you to figure it out or not all on your own. Of course, being apart of the 141 it was only a matter of time before you became apart of this oddly dangerous family of sorts, and Simon found himself caring for you just as much as he did for the other three, even if he ever expressed it.

“Maybe doing nothin’, is what you’re suppos’d do.”

You quirked a brow at him.

“You? Telling me to do nothing?”

Simon rolled his eyes, sitting back against the creaking old dinning chair.

“Yeah, shocker I know, but trust me, after years of doing this shit, sometimes you jus’ gotta kick ya feet up and do fuck all.”

You look back to your tea before taking another sip, thinking on his words. He had a point though. As frustrating as it was, wanting to engage in activities that would normally bring you joy, it was only natural to not always be motivated to do them, especially with the grueling type of work you all did.

“Welp,” you shrug, closing your lap top shut and throwing your sketchbook atop it, “guess I’m doing fuck all today.”

A light, deep chuckle came from Simon, him always finding it kind of funny when outlandish vocabulary came from your lips. You never came off as the type to say such words, but then again you also didn’t exactly fit into the picture of the intimidating guys you were so close to.

“Good. Relax, ya earned it.”

You smile up at Simon, your eyes crinkling in the corners something that brought him some warmth.

“We earned it, Simon.”

#not proofread #some self comfort writing cuz I suck at not procrastinating things I like #and I feel bad cuz it’s a struggle to be productive #more self-indulgent #self indulgent #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #tf 141 x reader #simon riley fluff #simon riley x reader fluff

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linatheweirdooo · 5 months ago

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But when I try to stand, it's like Im buried in the sand

envuzi hurt/comfort fic originally posted on ao3 but my last fic on here did well so here

If you recognise the song in the title youre skibidi

Original link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59257672

"Do your job, and I'll leave you and N alone"

"right, V?"

V backed into the corner, but there was nowhere to run, no place to hide. Tears stung her eyes as she watched her best friend get ripped apart by the monster wearing Tessa's skin. There was nothing she could do but watch.

She failed N. She failed N and Uzi, how could she let this happen? She sacrificed herself to protect them, but of course she was too selfish to kill herself. Of course she backed out. Now there she was, facing the consiquences.

Why did everything always end this way? Why is it that every attempt to help them end in more suffering?

How do they not hate her?

Thoughts retreated to the back of V's mind as she was forced to see it come closer and closer to her, approaching V with mutilated corpses of her friends, the ones she failed, forced to watch, paralysed in fear. She wanted to scream, cry, anything, but nothing came out. This was her life, wasn't it?

V sprung up with a sharp gasp, breaking the silence that had previously enveloped the room.

Room?

V turned to her right to see Uzi, her girlfriend sleeping next to her, and N's arms wrapping around her from her left grounded V, snapping her back to reality.

It was a dream.

She could try to sleep it off. Her internal clock told her it was 2:20 AM. But she was still shaken up by the nightmare.

It was hot. Too hot. She should get something to drink.

V carefully took N's arms and put them down away from her. He was always very cuddly, and she liked it, but now was just not the time.

Uzi was a light sleeper, so V still had to take extra care in getting out of their bed without waking her up either. But eventually, she landed her cone-shaped legs onto the ground, and made her way to the kitchen to get some oil. Uzi and N had both been experimenting with human food, making versions they can eat. V always thought it was a bit useless, she knew all she needed was oil.

Pouring the contents of the bottle into a mug, V stared at her reflection through the black liquid.

How did she get this way?

It's been a few weeks since the solver was defeated, and everyone's still pretty shaken up by it. Uzi has it worst, constantly haunted by the past. Such a powerful being constricted by her own body, and they've yet to see the effects it has in the long term.

So why was V so uneasy? Her own partners can't catch a break, she shouldn't feel like this.

No, it's too late for these thoughts. She survived this long bottling everything up with only a few breakdowns, she doesn't need to stop now. She had more important things to do. There were people she needs to protect and care for now.

V downed the oil in one gulp, eager to get this over with and go back to her partners, but something stopped her at the bathroom mirror.

Something told her to stare. Stare at herself, her body. The hands that can turn into a thousand weapons. The hair she was forced to keep short in order to be successful in combat. The vial of yellow liquid, a weapon of mass destruction. It can so easily melt and tear through flesh.

The piercing yellow eyes that were forced to stare back at her. They weren't always yellow. The solver changed them. Everything she hates about herself was because of the solver.

It didn't even think of her as a person, just a vessel to carry out its deeds. She was never her own person. Who even was she?

Her eyes trailed down to her upper left arm.

The armband.

It had a skull printed on it, a constant reminder of the job she has to do. It had a barcode on it, too. But V eyed something else on it, a string of letters and numbers: her name. Her real name. Serial designation V-X00100000. Next to it, her model type.

CYN-MYKX

Cyn. The poor host of the solver, V's enslaver. The reason she's like this. It only saw her as a tool, didn't it? She wasn't a drone capable of emotion, just a weapon.

She was never her own person. She wasn't her own person as long as she has that armband.

She needs to take it off.

Hands swapped out into claws. Another reminder of what she was made for. Bladed fingers approached the yellow fabric, tugging on it. But she couldn't bring herself to rip it off.

What was the problem? She's trying to but her body just won't let her. V wants this thing off her but can't bring herself to do it.

When did these tears find their way onto her face?

Knees shaky, V fell into the floor, desperately clawing at her arms with razor sharp talons. Who cares if they got damaged, it wasn't even her body anyway. Oil dripped onto the floor as she took in a shaky breath and choked out a sob that was building inside her, but still attempting to shush herself. The last thing she wanted was to be seen like this by the most important people in her life.

~~~

Uzi was always a light sleeper. Hearing a faint, muffled sob from inside her house was enough to wake her up.

Bleary purple eyes blinked awake. It took a few seconds for Uzi to focus on the environment around her, but when she did she noticed something. V wasn't there, despite the fact she was sleeping in the middle that night. At least, that's what she thinks she remembers.

She tierdly lifted herself off the pillow she rested her head on, to check if V may be somewhere else on the bed, only to be met with the sight of a sleeping disassembly drone. But it wasn't V, it was N, her boyfriend. There was still some warmth in between them, though.

Uzi put two and two together to come to the conclusion that V got out of bed recently, for whatever reason.

This can't be good. She had to tell N of their girlfriend's disappearance. Shuffling closer to him, Uzi rested a hand on his shoulder and softly shook it in an attempt to wake him up, but quickly stopped herself.

He looked so peaceful. Only a few weeks ago she would only see this sight in her dreams. So much has happened, but he can finally rest now.

Her hand released its grip on N. She shouldn't wake him up. She can check on V herself. V was strong and brave, she probably isn't hurt and Uzi's just overthinking. It's not worth waking N up too.

With her mind made up, Uzi followed the faint sobs that woke her up in the first place, and worries clouded her head again.

It was when she saw the bathroom door cracked open that she stopped in her tracks. She heard faint sobs that were clearly not intended to be heard, and hyperventilating that got worse the closer she got to the bathroom.

"V? Is that you?" The worker quietly asked through the gap, not walking inside to give her girlfriend some space. But when the only sound that came back was a hushed sob, Uzi was left paralyzed. Whatever's happening, is she qualified to help out with it?

She shook the thoughts away. Her girlfriend was having a moment, she should at least try to help. The door slowly opened, complimented with a soft creak, and Uzi poked her head inside to a sight she wished she didn't get to witness.

N didn't know what it was, but something felt off. His optics struggled to make out his surroundings at first, but he quickly realized the arm he was previously hugging wasn't there. V wasn't there.

V always shuffled around in her sleep a lot, he wasn't surprised she wriggled her arm out of his grasp somehow. But, there was also a lack of warmth on the bed too.

"Uzi? Is V-" his optics had fully adjusted to the dark when he cut himself off. Uzi wasn't there either.

Reluctantly, N got out of the bed. It was late and he was tired, but he definetly can't just fall back asleep knowing neither of them were there. What if they got hurt? They're still pretty shaken up about what happened a few weeks ago (and admittedly, he was too).

But he was more worried about V. Unlike Uzi, who has learned to open up to both her partners, V was clearly trying to hide the way she truly feels. She always hid her true emotions. N just wished she could be more open to him and Uzi, so they can help her. So she doesn't break at the seams again.

Walking down the mostly empty hallway (they had still just moved into their house, there isn't any furniture or decoration yet) N's "eyes" took note of the slightly illuminated wall. It didn't take a genius to figure out a door was open with the light on.

Upon getting closer to the source of the light, he heard quiet sobs.

Once he reached the door, N peeked inside. There was oil everywhere. On the floor, on clothes, even caked onto the faces of two drones. One purple, one yellow.

Uzi and V.

They were on the floor, V had her claws out and was evidently the source of the sobs. She was still wearing the same old jacket she's worn for ages, but evidence of all the abuse it has gone through littered the fabric in the form of rips, tears, scratches and oil stains. But some of them were new.

V bit back some more sobs as she noticed her other partner has found her. N must've not realised he was staring, but to V it was just another pair of eyes watching her, judging her, degrading her for comitting the crime of existing. She wanted to disappear from the face of Copper-9. So much has gone down.

She was sitting on the floor, her knees to her chest, hyperventilating. So defenseless. So weak. No wonder the solver chose her as its victim. It promised she'll be free, but even in its death, she hasn't broken free of its shackles. When it's not controlling or manipulating V, it was watching her in her nightmares, in the empty spaces in her new house, in the mirrors she looked at herself through.

"V, please. Stop hurting yourself" spoke a voice too comforting for her to deserve it. V couldn't even register who said it.

"V?"

Her vents quieted.

"Can you look at me?"

Hesitantly, golden tear-filled eyes met purple ovals. She bit back another sob.

N sat on the floor next to Uzi, with his hand hovering over one of the wounds V's claws were still in the middle of branding her casing with.

He didn't speak, but demonstrated to V what he wanted to her do when he switched over his hands for claws, then back to normal again. He wanted her to switch them back.

V just stared into his eyes and slowly shook her head, digging her claws deeper and drawing more oil.

"V, please." Uzi made eye contact with V again, but this time V removed her claws from the oil stained plastic forearms she was digging them into, but still hovered them over her wounds.

"Can you switch your hands back to normal for me?" The worker asked oh so tenderly; absolutely not the tone V deserved to be spoken to in.

Newly built up tears made their way onto V's screen. She can't. She still hasn't been able to remove the arm band. She still hasn't punished herself enough for the things she did. She's still alive. The solver will be haunting her as long as that remains a fact.

She can't take it anymore. It's like something snapped inside her, but all the tears came back stronger. She didn't want to cry, and an effort was clearly made, but it was too much. She lodged herself inbetween N and Uzi, wrapping her arms around both of them and sobbed hopelessly into the gap between them.

V's sobs were strained, she clearly didn't want them to escape her mouth. But she just couldn't hold them back. It's like every time she blinked back tears in her life all came back to her, stronger than ever. She shook and trembled, as a seemingly endless stream of tears burned her screen.

N was taken aback by the sudden hug, but then wrapped his arms around V's frame, with Uzi following suit.

Uzi didn't care her clothes were soaking up her own girlfriend's oil. It was about time that old hoodie was put out if its misery anyway.

V's sobs eventually died down, getting replaced with awkward yet comforting silence. As she hugged her partners, clawing on the fabric of their clothes. She needs to make sure they're actually here and this wasn't another cruel trick.

Eventually, she broke the silence with two words.

"I'm sorry"

N pulled his head away from V's to look at her, but still stayed in the embrace.

"Don't apologize. But, are you able to tell us what happened?" N's voice was slightly scratchy considering he still had just woken up, but V could still hear the concern in his voice. Robo god she didn't deserve either of them.

"It's stupid" she reluctantly replied. She isnt used to being vulnerable, to saying how she felt. It was a habit she wants to break but it was so hard after years and years of bottling everything up.

"Don't say that. I don't blame you for breaking" Uzi eyed the ground, trying to find the correct words to say.

"These last few weeks have been so hard, and yet you were there for us when we needed someone to talk to"

"I think you deserve that outlet, too"

V's eyes locked with Uzi's when she said those last few words. Uzi has seen first hand the things V has done, how could she deserve it? Uzi and N are good people, she had to comfort them. She loved them. But she didn't deserve that same treatment.

"I don't think I deserve it"

"V..."

"I hurt so many people, Uzi... I hurt you and N... I don't deserve to have the two of you helping or comforting me"

Uzi frowned upon hearing V's response.

"V, N and I met by trying to kill eachother, I killed so many of my classmates at camp. OH, and let's not forget the time I tried to kill you later that day, too."

"Uzi, that's different-"

"No! Because at the end of the day, all three of us have done some messed up shit. But if N and I deserve love anyway, you do, too, V"

Silence fell over the polycule after Uzi's little speech. V tried to argue back, but couldn't find any sufficient arguments.

Uzi was right.

V let out a sigh, and breifly interlaced her fingers with both her partners'... and then found her face heating up. A beat passed before she threw a friendly punch at the purple drone.

"You dork! You don't get to make me feel sappy!" V playfully scolded her girlfriend. Uzi couldn't help but laugh at the sudden change in V's demeanor.

But as Uzi's giggles died down, the light-hearted atmosphere did, too.

"But, seriously though. You should open up a bit more. We're here to help you, we love you, why else do you think I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and N?"

V's grin faded slightly as she came back to the reality that she still did scare her partners at the middle of the night.

"What happened, V?" Uzi finally asked her. Damn it. She wished she didn't have to say anything about the events that led up to her breakdown.

"If you're comfortable with talking about it, that is" N added.

V's sorrowful gaze reached her upper left arm. Specifically, the damned yellow tag that branded her.

"I want to take it off. I feel trapped as long as I have it" she finally admitted.

V's mind wandered, anticipating any response from them. "ALL of this trouble was caused by a piece of fabric?!". It was a pretty silly reason, she kind of expected them to get mad at her for it. But they didn't.

N let out a surprised "oh" as he remembered the meltdown he had when he tried to take it off.

Uzi cupped V's cheek and her thumb tenderly traced the surface of it. "Let's take it off, then" her soothing voice comforted.

N positioned himself on V's left, and with a precise slice of his claw, the yellow symbol of control fell into the floor.

V looked at her arm. Her arm, which was a part of her body, no longer belonging to anyone else.

She was free.

V hugged N, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you"

N reciprocated the action, his arms wrapped around V as her hair fully obscured his face. He then planted a gentle kiss on it as his fingers ran through her silver locks.

Eventually, they parted before V wiped a singular tear off her screen. One day, she'll tell them about the problems plaguing her. The nightmares, the thoughts, the urge. But for now, she savored the feeling of being at peace (or at least, the closest feeling to peace since what happened three weeks ago).

"I think it's time we head back to bed" V finally said. She hated to admit it, but the lack of sleep did take a toll on her.

Standing up from the floor, V stretched and picked up Uzi bridal style.

"HEY!"

"Can't let you forget how I usually act just because you saw me cry, toaster"

Uzi childishly pouted before wrapping her arms around V's neck.

"Bite me"

N held back a few giggles as he watched the most important drones in his life still bickering like they don't live in the same house together.

After the three of them flopped on their bed, V felt two pairs of arms wrap around her waist and head.

"I'm NOT letting you leave this bed alone again" Uzi mumbled into her girlfriend's chest.

V could've gotten mad, but she found herself chuckling instead. Maybe this night wasn't that bad in the end.

Soft rumbles radiated from V as she purred in content in sync with the taller disassembly drone nuzzling her.

"I love you" were the last words V spoke that night. Though it was half muttered, both the drones it was directed at heard it, increasing their grip in their hugs.

Eventually, V's purring was replaced with soft snores as she drifted off the sleep, surrounded by the people she loved in a quiet moment of tranquillity.

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