#comedic queen

[theinnermostsanctum]

Trubel: “So, are all other Grimms so normal?”

Nick: “You should meet my mother. She’s been called a lot of things, but normal’s not one of them.”

[kushanna]

bwaan bwaan kashing kashing

[dapper-lil-arts]

What if Celestia had Whatsapp 🤣🤣🤣

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

[ ID in ALT ]

he giggles

[the-inner-musings-of-a-worm]

be honest who out of kevin, neil and andrew would guest star on SNL and how well would they do?

[acourtoffeyandfables]

[windwenn]

'"I am not afraid of you," said he, smilingly'

[deeplyridiculouslyinlove]

Things Rand learns about Moiraine in the course of five minutes in 02 x 05:

She is from Cairhien.

Her family is RICH. Like marry the Queen rich.

She has a sister and a nephew.

That weird lady who told him the Hunt for the Horn isn’t real and how the rich people in Cairhien disdain the people in the Foregate is her sister.

(Maybe that she’s a Damodred, but I don’t think of Rand as a real history buff so idk if that will mean anything to him.)

She hasn’t seen her family in 20 years.

They don’t know Lan.

Things Rand knew about Moiraine before 02 x 05:

She once had trouble channeling when she was learning to be an Aes Sedai.

(Maybe that she is a lady from a fallen house - depends if he believed/remembered that comment she made to the whitecloaks.)

[shesmore-shoebill]

"I'm not giving you any money." ".... then why am I here 🤨"

"I want Trevor's money." ("I always take your money, Alex")

[a-lilacsong]

This comic is brought to you by: me rereading the Brothers Grimm and remembering how horrifying “The Juniper Tree” is. (Also “Hansel and Gretel” is pretty messed up too, but still).

Comic script: Amber (to Miranda): So you're definitely not going to be an evil stepmother like the ones in fairytales? Miranda: Yes, I'll be good. James: So, if we ran out of food, you wouldn't convince our dad to abandon us in the woods with no way home? M: No, I would not. And if we were low on food, you could have mine. A: Speaking of food, you would never cook us in a stew and feed it to our loved ones, right? M: No! Absolutely not! What kind of fairytales have you been reading?! J: The Grimm ones. A: Final question worst possible scenario, would you ever dress us in servant clothes and force us to do chores? M: No, and are you sure that's the worst scenario of the three? A: Absolutely. Without a doubt.

(Original pencil sketch version of the comic under the cut)

[neo--queen--serenity]

Imagine Fukuchi, in the early Decay of Angels days, explaining to Bram who’s gonna be on their deadly 5-man team, and saying Fyodor’s name—maybe even showing him a picture. There’s no way—no way—Bram didn’t react (at least inwardly) with “ughhh not this bitch again.”

[dizzybevvie]

RIP Bubba Sawyer you wouldve loved estrogen

[kevlarcrack3d]

Oho what's this? I'm making Skullgirls headcanons?

I ain't kidding. Yes, I am. I actually have super mixed feelings about the many open-ended threads of lore in the game. I kinda like it because it allows me to make headcanons like this (ignore the Medici fuckup), but at the same time, I don't really think it had a good impact on the story. Lots of interesting stuff could be put there.

Without further ado, LET'S GO!

BEWARE OF LEWD: MILD/COMEDIC NSFW FOR THE LAST ONE!

Samson helps Filia pickpocket and steal credit cards. Samson also helps her gamble at the casino because Samson had gambler hosts. They do this sparingly, and they're pretty average. They prefer the lotto tickets.

Skullgirls world technology level is close to that of our current time in the 21st century. However, the uses and people's mannerisms are more of the 40's with many tweaks for the rule of cool.

Speaking of tech, Brain Drain is an AI bro, the sort who screams, "AI ART IS REAL ART AAAAA," and gets into fights over it. Valentine is neutral on AI. Dr. Avian is also pro-AI, but is ethical and knows the limits and challenges. Brain Drain types out whole text messages about AI and instigates LEGENDARY arguments among the labs.

Irvin fights in an ambidextrous manner like Revy from Black Lagoon (can't help it - his two guns remind me of her). Many chicks dig him because TALL, DARK, AND MYSTERIOUS IS VERY HOT 🥵😭🍑💖🔥🔥🔥.

After Umbrella's story mode, Parasoul heard of Filia and Carol's plight and arranged them to have certain support and properties under the proper officials. Filia and Carol now live together and will be having scholarships for college.

Aside from working for the Anti-Skullgirl labs, the previous squads of the Last Hope participated in King Franz's war campaigns. In this headcanon, the SG world has a rule like ours that states combat medics shouldn't be shot at. King Franz took advantage of this and used these squads for biological warfare and effective surprise attacks.

Double also supported herself in the human world as an actress. She was always bitchy and mean to Annie, Selene, Eliza, and literally every celebrity that breathed in her face in that disguise. She was the number 1 drama instigator in their media. Every damn time, there would be something wild popping out about her.

Albus (the bodyguard of Eliza that looks like Anubis) is not a jackal but a black dog feral. This is based on how Anubis may not really be a jackal but a Pharaoh hound (I love long-faced dogs they're sooooo cute 🥺).

The first head of the Medici family had Leviathan as his host. He enjoyed art and music and gave Leviathan as a gift to the Contiellos. He once had the life gem, so when he took Leviathan from his body, he didn't die. (My most preferred one. The other have this head be Lorenzo's parent or boss). This head was more pragmatic than Lorenzo, though, and preferred to be stealthy and smart. He was also more of a fighter, too. Lorenzo is the more hedonistic, narcissistic, flamboyant one who likes being on the front pages of magazines like Bugsy Siegel and buying expensive stuff.

Since Leviathan stated that he and Samson were present before the Skull Heart, then I'll make this headcanon - parasites have been around since the prehistoric ages. Once humans, ferals, gigans, elves, dagonians, etc. grew more complex and the parasites began spending more time with them, that was when they learned to talk in their languages and articulate their ideas as such. Parasites always had complex minds and were able to form long-term memories, they just didn't know how to articulate them until they crossed paths with civilization.

Ferals procreate like the Mink Tribe in One Piece. When the parents are two different species, the kid may come out as another species that isn't their parents'. Same with Dagonians. (One thing I noticed is that these two races in Skullgirls remind me of the Minks and Fishmen in One Piece).

Cerebella didn't attend school. She was homeschooled and trained by the mafia since day 1.

Not my headcanon, but I support it. Beowulf is actually very smart. Has actually taken PhDs and loves to read. Aside from having side roles as the big bad wolf in Annie's show, he is a librarian. He also used these smarts in the ring, where he'd calculate his strikes.

When simply patrolling, The Last Hope also gives medical treatments for free.

Peacock also watches cartoons in the Skullgirls equivalent of Adult Swim. She does prefer the sillier, kiddy ones, though.

Parasoul likes Annie of the Stars because that was her comfort media. Ever since her father started his wars, ever since she was training to be a worthy queen, especially after her mother died, Parasoul deep down looked up to Annie's lessons of standing up for good, never giving up, and protecting the innocent. Though being a real-life head-of-state has more complexities, deep down, Parasoul would always love Annie, her inspiration.

The one with the real political power in Canopy Kingdom is actually a prime minister. However, the Renoir family will always find a way to have the final say if the situation calls for it.

New Meridian is actually like what Hong Kong is to China. It's considered separate, but the Canopy Kingdom has a degree of dominance over it.

The reason why Queen Nancy was a very powerful Skullgirl was, aside from the wish she made to stop the wars and the fact that she was in a warzone most likely filled with dead warriors, especially powerful ones, the umbrella Todd had something to do with it.

Big Band once played gigs at nightclubs to support himself in police academy. He had to be very careful because many of those nightclubs were run by the mafia, and it's not just the Medici Mafia.

When not angry, Carol/Painwheel likes to fly around with the Buer Drive. No thoughts, head empty, just fly around wheeeee ✈️.

If told to draw, Robo Fortune cannot draw hands (a jab at some AI art engines drawing hands so badly). She can't even trace a hand on a paper for whatever reason, and it's driving Brain Drain mad.

The second person in Fukua is actually Shamone on her head. Regarding the two people used to create her, the warrior good at close combat was actually Delilah - Brain Drain actually found an artifact confirmed to be Delilah's and it was fortunate that it had her DNA stuck on it. The assassin who specialized in ranged combat was one of Black Dahlia's best bunny girl assassins.

Taliesin can master any stringed instrument in a short period of time ( the longest is like 2 weeks) except for piano.

There is a pro-Medici Mafia series super beloved in New Meridian, which I could see as their equivalent of "the Sopranos." It's called "My Outlaw Darling." It's a live action just in case some of you think it's animation like My Little Pony or My Dress-up Darling because of the title reference. Bad - or maybe good hehehehe 😊 - news: it's very smutty, risqué, sexy, and 🍑 PASSIONATE ✨️. Embarrassingly, Lorenzo was walked in on many times doing "self-love" to the dirty scenes, particularly the ones between men for whatever reason. IDK, he's bored. This series gets on the Renoir's nerves. Since King Franz isn't really doing much in public, if he uses his TV as background noise, once he hears the "My Outlaw Darling" opening song, he has to stop himself from smashing the TV if he's doing something that requires him to keep sitting down. Peacock also hates it and actually gets up to fire lasers at the TV once she hears the theme! She and her gang have a joke about the airing time of the series where they call it "the witching hour."

Regarding the sexual nature of "My Outlaw Darling," I don't know why it isn't called "OutLewd" 🤔.

[bloomfish]

the comments on literally everything about this series of taskmaster are actually appalling. i'm not a particular fan of rosie jones myself, not that i dislike her at all i just don't know her stuff that well. but I thought she was really good on this first episode! the "i think i got a bit of umbilical cord" had me in tears. And in general like... you don't have to find her funny but there have been plenty of contestants on taskmaster who aren't that funny either and it's really telling that this is the person everyone thinks is going to "ruin taskmaster." be so fr. alex and greg are good at their jobs and they bring out the humour in all contestants.

"the other contestants must be so mad that nobody's going to watch this series" lmao you're an irrelevant little nobody who likes to whinge on the internet and rosie jones is a professional comedian, i guarantee the others would rather hang out with her than with you. the series seems great so far sorry

[moongothic]

Seen people share their headcanons of what would Luffy call Crocodile if Crocodad was Real, and it did get me wondering

Like on one hand, Luffy has a perfect track-record with respecting trans people and not misgendering anyone, so if Crocodad Real, Luffy wouldn't misgender him

But also, Luffy has two braincells, and having two people to call "dad" would probably be confusing for him. And Luffy doesn't seem like the type of guy who'd either of his parents "Father" either. Canonically Luffy tends to use more affectionate terms for his family, including Dragon despite never having ever met him ("tou-chan", "ji-chan" for Garp, "nii-chan" for Ace. Note the lack of the polite "o" at the begining, and the use of "chan" instead of "san". The take-away here is that he's basically being a bit familiar and kind of affectionate)

And let us not forget, how Luffy loves giving nicknames to people

So it would be perfectly on-brand for Luffy to come up with a new nickname for Crocodile, if only to help differentiate The Dads

(Like yes, Luffy does technically have a nickname for Crocodile already ("wani", lit. "crocodile"), but it's not really an affectionate nickname (or a particularly disrespectful one either, kind of neutral (though calling someone you're not friends with by a nickname is kind of rude)). And while Luffy can and does drop the funny nicknames for people if he decides he likes them enough (see Hammock turning into Hancock, or Luffy learning Bonney's name and using it because he felt bad for her), if Luffy did learn about Crocodile being his other dad and wanted to treat him as such (which he also might not, to be fair)... yeah he could come up with a new nickname)

Now the question just is... what kind of a nickname would Luffy then come up with?

And because I'm a fucking loser with a passion for translation and localization, I'm almost specifically interested in what kind of a nickname Luffy would come up with in Japanese. And partially because, depending on the nickname, it could just be the exact same nickname in English too. Like Luffy's "Yama-o" got localized as "Yamabro" because the "o" (written as 男, lit. "man") needed to be translated and localized for the nickname to hit the same in English. Same for shit like "split head" for Foxy or "giant shallot" for Moria, or "wani" getting localized as "gator" because Luffy calling Crocodile a "crocodile" as a nickname would not make any sense in English lmao

So... a cute nickname that makes it easy for Luffy to call Crocodile his "dad" without it getting confusing with calling Dragon "dad". Maybe something that ties to his name already and preferably rolls off the tongue easily in Japanese... Like we have our Crocodads and Dadodiles but these nicknames are based in English, so they don't roll off the tongue nicely -> Can't imagine Luffy saying either. But... I think the fans are onto something there... There must be a variation of this nickname that would work well in Japanese...

Papadile.

I could see Luffy coming up with a nickname like that. It would roll off the tongue pretty easily. The only counter argument against it I can think of would be that Luffy does not seem like the kind of guy who would call anyone "papa". Like that word does not fit in his mouth.

...Anything else?

Well. I guess there is the third, forbidden option of Luffy calling him "oyaji" ("pops"), much like Whitebeard's crew called their captain too.

But that just leads us to an interesting thought; what the fuck would Crocodile prefer Luffy call him?

I mean this is Sir "Call me what you will" Crocodile, who generally does not seem to care that much about what people call him. Like we could take that and just assume Crocodile would not give a fuck about what Luffy called him, but it's also possible this could be like The One Exception to The Rule. And there's many potential reasons why too

Like there's the practical side of things where it could be a pain in Crocodile's ass if the world found out the two were related, because it'd mean anything bad happening to either one could be used against the other. Someone targetting Luffy could be then used intentionally to target Crocodile and viceversa. As Dragon said, a child is a parent's weak spot after all. So it could still be in Crocodile's self-interest to keep their blood relation a secret. But also; Crocodile had to leave his child behind. Much like how Olvia felt like she had no right to call herself Robin's mom, it'd make sense to me if Crocodile felt kind of the same. That regardless of their blood connection, he had no right to call himself Luffy's father, let alone deserve to be called that after what he'd done to Luffy.

So maybe Crocodile would prefer to be just called by his name. Maybe he'd be satisfied with that. Perhaps being called "pops" would lowkey annoy the shit out of him because it would just remind him of That Asshole Who Took His Hand and beat his ass. Which, y'know, fair. Perhaps "Papadile" would be just a bit too ridiculous and cutesy for him tolerate. And perhaps Luffy calling him "dad" (or "father", or any variation of it) would be a lot more emotionally compromising to Crocodile than he'd like to admit, especially if he believed he would never be called that

But knowing Luffy, if he knows being called "dad" made Crocodile happy (even if he didn't want to admit it), and if Luffy did decide he liked Crocodile/accepted him as his other dad... He'd probably keep on calling Crocodile some variation of "dad", even if he insisted that "Crocodile was fine"

Also worth noting that according to this SBS, if Croc did raise a child that child would use 父上 ("chichiue"), which is quite a formal way to call someone Father

So that would be Crocodile's canon preferred term but god knows there'd be no way in hell he'd be able to convince Luffy to call him that, shit's way too formal for Luffy

[queenofsimpsblog]

griot - shuri x reader

A/N: LMAO I GOT THIS IDEA IN THE SHOWER AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS SO I DECIDED TO WRITE IT

is the idea dumb? yes. is it gonna flop? maybe. am i still gonna write it? fuck yeah!!

dedicated to @locoforshuri i think ur really cool and i think you might like this so please read it my mutual bb <3

you waddled your way into shuri’s lab. being 4 months pregnant, you became extra clingy than usual and your hormones were all over the place. you figured spending some time with shuri might calm you down a bit.

you walked in and instantly noticed shuri’s frustrated state. you saw the images displayed on the blue screen in front of her, and remembered that this was the project she’d been stressing on a lot lately. it was a security system for the palace. she wanted to reinforce the building as you’d be welcoming a child soon, and wanted to keep it safe so that no harm would ever come to your child.

her muscles were tensed. you slowly walked up to her and covered her eyes with your palms. “guess who?”

“oh, is that riri?”

you swiftly moved your hands from her eyes to slap her on the arm. she giggled and turned around to give you a hug, mindful of your growing baby belly.

“hello, my love. i missed you. and you.” she said, moving down to kiss your baby bump.

“i saw how worked up you looked. wanna take a break and get some ice cream?”

“i’d love to, but i’m almost done with this algorithm. just wait for about half an hour? i promise i’ll be done after that!”

you sighed but nodded. shuri smiled widely and gave you a long, passionate kiss before turning back to her work station. you waddled to one of the couches in the lab and sat down, picking up a magazine on the table next to you to pass time.

after half an hour was up, shuri was almost done with the algorithm, but then accidentally hit the delete button instead of save.

“damnit! griot, can you retrieve the algorithm i just deleted?”

“it appears the recently deleted folder has glitched for some reason. i don’t think i’ll be able to access it.”

“oh for bast’s sake!! i did not design you to be this incompetent!!”

for some reason, hearing shuri yell at griot triggered something in you. you started crying and walked up to shuri, grabbing the end of the table as you tried to stabilise yourself.

“griot, can you hear me?” you sobbed out.

“yes, queen y/n.”

“i’m sorry shuri is being mean to you. she doesn’t mean it. she’s actually really sweet. she’s just a little stressed out right now, with a baby on the way and this thing she’s been working on for so long. i promise she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

shuri was never more confused in her entire life. she knew your mood swings were severe and unpredictable. but this?

what made the situation even weirder is that griot started crying too.

“i do everything panther asks for, and it’s never enough. i know i make mistakes sometimes, but all algorithms glitch!”

the sight was hilarious. just you and griot sobbing together. shuri figured out that there was a bug in her system so she resolved that to make griot stop sobbing.

at first, she didn’t know how to calm you down. but then she realised what she had to do.

“griot.” she cleared her throat.

“yes, panther?” by now griot stopped sobbing and spoke clearly.

“i apologise for my rude behaviour. even though you’re an ai and have no feelings, i must still speak to you nicely. i hope we can move on from this and still work together?”

“of course, panther. no hard feelings.”

you stopped crying after that and wiped your cheeks. you smiled at shuri.

“see, griot? i told you she’s really sweet.”

“what’s sweeter is the ice cream we’re about to have. my lady?” shuri extends her hand and you take it, walking out of the lab together, talking about which flavour of ice cream you’re gonna get and what toppings you’re gonna ask for.

*lil bonus scene cuz you guys deserve it*

when the lab is emptied out, griot plays thot shit by megan thee stallion and quietly sings along.

“i’m a bad bitch”

BAHAHAHAH I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF THE ENTIRE TIME WRITING THIS AND I HOPE I MADE YALL SMILE TOO