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What if Celestia had Whatsapp 🤣🤣🤣
#Had more ideas after all lmao#my little pony#friendship is magic#pony posting#mlp gen 4#mlp#mlp fim#tirek#queen chrysalis#chrysalis#discord#raven#starswirl the bearded#starswirl#principal celestia#princess cadance#cadance#shining armor#twilight sparkle#sunset shimmer#princess luna#luna#I'll only make more of these if I get ideas lmao#comedic timing is key#whatsapp series
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Who says the episode title phrases in each episode of Wolf 359?
I've created a spreadsheet to show which character says the episode title phrase (i.e. the words which form the name of that particular episode) in every episode of Wolf 359. Graphs summarising this data can be found below, but to look at the full spreadsheet in all its glory, and see the progression through the series, you can follow this link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1cQLkhxbDAItU6rdiUAYGn54FXXxYC-JXlCmP_Dqe9FA/
(Please note: I’ve focused here on which character first speaks the exact title phrase within the episode itself. In some cases, this is not the only - or the most significant - time that the title phrase is spoken.)
EDIT: This post previously stated incorrectly that "the devil's plaything" is not said in Ep57. In fact, it is said by Pryce (through Minkowski). Thank you to @yaghoulghosty for pointing this out!
Season breakdown graphs below the cut...
#Wolf 359#w359#the empty man posteth#I think I'll reblog this with properly worded thoughts about the patterns at some point#but for now I'd like to draw attention to a couple of things:#(1) the proportion of Eiffel title phrases reduces as the show progresses#reflecting both the movement away from a sole focus on Eiffel's narration#and perhaps the balance shifting more towards drama rather than comedy over time#(Eiffel is particularly good at coining a comedic turn of phrase)#(2) After the SI-5 are introduced#there's 5 Kepler or Jacobi title phrases in a row#solidifying the SI-5's presence in the show#If you view the title phrases as often referencing the key problem or issue of that episode#then I think it is significant who expresses it#Please do feel free to share your own thoughts!#On a personal note:#when I make things like this#it seems kinda absurd that I only started properly considering the idea that I might be autistic this year#I'm sure all the neurotypicals are regularly making spreadsheets and graphs about the fiction podcasts they think about constantly...
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Ruikasa don’t become more stupid when they’re around each other (they continue to operate at their typical levels of stupid) but they do lose all of their respective maturity. which is funnier. You put Tsukasa “my personality is so based on being a big brother that it has manifested as a person (KAITO) in my sekai” Tenma and Rui “described as mature by nene who has known him for like 10 years” Kamishiro together in a room & 20 minutes later they’re up to the most childish shit ever.
#the kryptonite to tsukasa’s ‘I need to be a good responsible role model’ neuroticisms.#as I’ve said before. something something rui being his age slightly turns off the ‘I have to set an example’ switch in his brain#that and he knows there’s literally nothing he can do that will make rui stop acting Like That#the 1 relatable aspect of tsukasa tenma. me looking at people 1 grade below me: I must set a good example for them#they’re a comedic duo to me first friends second gay situationship third. which is the key to understanding them I think.#this is why that one live show where rui imitates him and Tsukasa stomps his feet like a child is so funny to me#mine#tsukasa#rui#don’t have time to get into it rn reminding myself to talk abt the rui deliberately trying to be too much thing later
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i've been listening to the mystery shack lookback podcast while rewatching gravity falls, which is fun because you get to see what the fandom was speculating about at the time the show was first airing as well as be reminded of how much time people had to speculate between episodes back then. i was there for the second half of season 2 and i remember but still it's easy to forget when you're able to watch them all in a row.
i just watched "the last mabelcorn" and was genuinely surprised to learn that:
this episode was written solely by alex hirsch in 2 days, after plans for a wendy-centric episode were eventually given up on. it's a shame we never got that but it sounded like the writers had trouble coming up with a plot for her that would sustain a whole episode
a lot of people didn't like this episode much and thought it showed that it was written hastily? which i don't remember at all, i think people were mostly going insane over the billford backstory reveals. i also never would have guessed it was written on such short notice, i didn't think it was any lower in quality than the rest of the season. maybe that's just the hosts' opinion. it's just the first i'm hearing about this episode having a more tepid reception
(overall i really like this podcast though, i'm learning a lot about the production history of this show)
#gravity falls#my thoughts#also this one reminded me that the first time i ever heard the song “you'll be back” from hamilton#was in a billford amv. i did not know what it was from at first because hamilton hadn't quite exploded in popularity yet#i thought it was a great creepy-comedic villain love song though#this was also the first time i found the vigènere key word in the episode all on my own! yay
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I think one of the biggest factors for whether or not a Star Wars project is good is whether or not the writers understand that the original movie was like, 50% comedy sketches.
#seriously I feel like nailing the specific brand of comedy the series has is key to making something that “feels” like Star Wars#Rebels TCW and the Kotor games understand that this is a very comedic series at the end of the day#it’s what makes Kotor 2 and Andor such anomalies#although they nail it in their own ways#but yeah#A New Hope is one of the funniest movies of all time#peak cinema#star wars#meta#me rambles
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i've seen a couple of fics where azula and zuko has a third op sibling but i could find none, zero(0) fics where ozai has a sister over him-
i'm saying this because i want his ass pummeled and headwrapped by his (not too much) older sister. i want him to be raised by an older sister
iroh, being like a decade or two older than them both, would neglect them both serving war on propaganda during his prime and takes his leave after his loss not unlike canon
the sister would have a couple (or more?) years with her mother so she picks up some actual parental love and how it's supposed to be before ozai is born
(or not and they end up like zuko and azula except they have just a little more agegap then them, ozai is more ill-tempered than zuko, and the sister pummels him more than azula does zuko but not brutally (or not) and they have a lot of sibling fighting and bonding and normal sibling shenanigans minus the parental love so probably some angst as well)
and if it still somehow ends up like canon where ozai takes over the throne due to either by his plotting or some fucked up misogyny by azulon or sozin's law or whatever she will be fucking furious and she will show it
(if so ozai could team up with her for her support but betraying her when the idea of power gets to his head)
(or or ozai would keen to her after iroh's loss and she would be like "no you little shit i knew all of your antics even better than our elderly dad and ever since you were baby" but if somehow he manages to convince her to her that he'd "do well" on the throne with his personal method of pleading to his sister (you choose) and then betrays her-)
-boy would she be fucking livid. ozai is absolutely afraid of her but pretends he absolutely isn't. she is definitely going to pummel his ass for good
zuko and azula would be mostly clueless at first thanks to ozai's efforts. azula would be a bit more keen though. she may not completely understand what really transpired between them when she suddenly left, but when she finally finds her again bidding for her time she would find the whole situation so fucking hilarious once she got over the initial shock of reunion - the sheer idea of how her imposing father was so afraid of his own sister (who technically didn't actually even do anything to him) that he yeeted her out of the fire nation.
azula would fucking love her.
#ozai#azula#zuko#sister#ozai's sister#seriously disappointed in y'alls lack of creativity /j#fandom you did literally literally everything except giving ozai a sister#starting from zuko adoption/ozai adoption/waterbender zuko/waterbender ozai/time travel/body swap/erasing ozai out of fucking existence#+ good dad ozai/letting other nations take turns for imperialism/reviving dead key characters/premature killing off living key characters#+ timespace ripping just so*you*could beat up his mfing ass/a regretful ozai dying in prison to be reborn as a concubine for the earth king#yet not a single one of you didn't even think of giving ozai a third sibling#you gave zuko and azula a third sibling!! you gave katara and sokka a third sibling!! yet you couldn't give one(1) for ozai#not even for a oneshot comedic purposes??#sacriligious i say#sacriligious#atla#fire nation#royal family
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ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME
#how many times have I said ‘I have enough tsukasa four stars I do not need more’#can I get a shiho or a kohane. PLEASE.#this is my sixth tsukasa 4 star card. i have only pulled for him specifically twice.#the key to pulling tsukasa tenma 4 stars is to not want them.#I’m not mad love this guy I just think it’s comedic at this point#mine
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nah because ofc out of all the selfshipping art or edits i have posted on here,,,, the one that has gotten the most attention on would be the one that had a typo on 😭🔫 like for 3days it was left unnoticed and just now fixed it,,,,
#if yall see me mistyping in a caption of an art post in a way that doesn't look like its being done for comedic effect PLEASE let me know 😭#sometimes its just a simple typo from typing too fast and hitting the wrong key..... other times its the dyslexia....#regardless it is embarrassing#my post
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didn't even hear about the shinee thing until just now and just.... *big disappointed yet not surprised sigh*
#I'm saying 'not surprised' not because I think key and taemin in particular are colorist(/racist) but becauae - from what I can tell - the#whole country is and especially its entertainment industry#being on tv there seems only possible if you're lighter than most Europeans or if make up and filters can at least make you look that way#plus with light skin being so closely linked to beauty (and youth and pureness?) and that's something idols are forced to maintain to keep#their careers.... it's no wonder that it's so deeply ingrained in them#just the other day an (I'm assuming native) English speaking radio MC of arirang kpop particularly took the time to mention how a male idol#(it was jun) didn't even look like he had just come out of the military because his skin looks oh-so-light and lovely#and he was so flattered that she'd noticed because apparently he had been slathering himself in sunscreen for months just so that 'his fans#would still recognise him and not run away'#like.... I know he was exaggerating for comedic effect.... but that's basically the messaging they receive
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"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha maknaes
☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen maknae line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, very dumb, jelly boys ☆ warning(s)? no! ☆ ygs seemed to like the hyung version so here's the maknae version!! reblogs and comments are appreciated <3
hyung ver.
sunoo ☆
OKAY HEAR ME OUT
this one is gonna be a lil different
paranormal investigator sunoo
he's like buzzfeed unsolved
and for one of his seasons, he goes and investigates haunted places and reviews their histories yk?
for the season finale
sunoo visits the bellaire house, which is notorious for being super haunted and ghost-infested
i like to think that sunoo is honestly skeptical abt ghosts
like he definitely has tried to talk to them, but hasn't discovered anything conclusive to definitively prove the existence of ghosts
anyways because it's the season finale
sunoo has a special guest...
you! his gf!
i think he'd be low key about your relationship, but his viewers know who you are
the video starts off normal
sunoo gives a rundown of the history of the bellaire house, like when it was built, the people that lived in it, the strange occurences in there, etc
the bickering between you and sunoo as you go over the bellaire house is very cute and sweet
it definitely makes it into those "sunoo and [name] being a comedic duo" compilations aw
anyways now its time to investigate the bellaire house head on 😈
sunoo pulls out all his cool ghost-catching gadgets
he tries everything
like the thermal camera, EMF meter, even the goddamn magnetic field detector
sunoos getting annoyed bc why are none of the ghosts talking to him :(
on the other hand
you're clinging onto him, hiding behind ur bf scared shitless
i mean like.... why would you not the bellaire house is known for having DEMONS 😭😭
sunoo huffs and turns to the camera, "welp it looks like there's no ghosts here"
one of the people in his camera crew suggest having you ask instead of him
even though youre scared you do it for ur bf
you're like "hi ghosts..... if you're here with us... please flicker the lights"
.
.
.
THE LIGHTS BEGIN TO FLICKER AAAAAAAA
AND SUNOOS HYPED OUT OF HIS MIND
"BABE BABE BABE ASK THEM THEIR NAME"
so youre like "ghosts... whats your name"
and NO JOKE
A WIND BLOWS PAST THE ROOM
AND EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SWEARS THEY HEAR SOMEONE WHISPER FAINTLY
"robert"
so that's how you and sunoo meet robert the ghost
BUT THAT'S NOT THE END
BECAUSE SUNOO HAS THE BRILLIANT IDEA OF PULLING OUT HIS OUIJA BOARD
tbh you both look dumb as hell
sitting on the crusty bellaire house floor
hunched over a ouija board
sunoo is now asking questions
but the ouija board doesn't even move
but when you ask
"robert, how are you today? yes for good, and no for bad"
THE GODDAMN PLANCHETTE MOVES TO YES AKA GOOD 😭
you and sunoo then introduce yourselves
again, when sunoo introduces himself nothing happens
but when you introduce yourself
the candle that's lit beside you goes out
someone in sunoo's camera crew jokes that they think that robert the ghost likes you
so sunoo jokingly asks "robert are you flirting with my girlfriend?"
AND THE OUIJA BOARD SAYS YES 😭😭😭
and when you kiss sunoo the doors in the house start slamming and shit like SOMEONES MAD
sunoo is lowk offended
and then he starts to beef with robert the ghost
except robert the ghost never respond to anything that sunoo says
bro leaves sunoo on heard
sunoos like "HEY ROBERT I DON'T CARE IF YOURE A DEMON YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP!!"
later when ygs review the emf recorder it picks up robert the ghost whispering "i don't care 🙄"
sassy ass ghost
on the other hand
robert responds to EVERYTHING you say
atp you're not scared anymore
"hai robert i'm [name], knock over that doll over there if you want to be my friend"
and the doll knocks over 😭
"robert knock on the window if you think i'm cute :3"
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
the camera crew is just laughing their asses off
at some point
the ouija board starts moving on its own
everyones like WOAHHH IT'S ACTUALLY MOVING!!! QUICK GET A PIECE OF PAPER SO WE CAN RECORD WHAT ITS SAYING!!!
sunoo is taking such dilligent notes
it starts with i, then s, then it spells out your name, and then s, i, n, g, l, e
" ' IS [NAME] SINGLE' ???"
is what the ouija board says
yes a goddamn ghost just asked that
SUNOO IS NOT HAVING IT
while you and the camera crew are cracking up
sunoo starts telling off robert
"listen bro just because you died in the bellaire house doesn't mean that you can try to take my gf 😐"
robert the ghost is being sassy too
so sunoo literally just snaps the ouija board in half
"haha you can't talk anymore robert .😐."
yk how in buzzfeed unsolved they take turns staying in the haunted place alone with all the lights off
sunoo kicks everyone out so that he can have a "man to man" talk with robert
robert isn't a physical person but everyone swears they hear crying
.... and it sure isn't coming from sunoo 😇
i think this would go really viral
"[name] is so beautiful that even dead people want her"
"robert the ghost is so me"
"even ghosts aren't immune to beautiful women"
"robert saw a hot woman and took his chance"
this would become an inside joke within sunoo's fandom fs
sunoo isn't having it though
he definitely still tweets about it
"i remember when some loser ghost tried to take my girlfriend"
"robert fuck you i'm glad you died"
"see you hell robert"
i def think robert is scared of sunoo now
LMAO
jungwon ☆
jungwon is documentary youtuber
he likes to make short documentaries about topics that he likes
kinda like wendigoon or fern or real horror
i feel like he'd have a super high quality mic that's super crisp
i think he'd like to make iceberg videos, or videos about obscure missing people stories
anyways
jungwon has a whiteboard that he uses to explain things
esp like timelines
but in one of his videos he doesn't use the whiteboard so it's in the background
so you write a little message on it
its just a very simple
"[name] was here :3 !!"
i feel like only a few people notice it
but as more and more videos pass
and jungwon doesn't use the whiteboard
your little messages get bigger and bigger
until one day the entire board is filled up with just "[NAME] WAS HERE!!!"
sorry i think a lot of jungwon's viewerbase would be redditors, just given what his content is like
r/jungwon LMAAOAOAO
on there someone brings it up
theyre like "who is [name]"
some ppl suggest that it's probably a friend or his gf
it's pretty chill tbh, his viewerbase isn't really too concerned
until one day
jungwon does one of those investigating 411 missing persons cases
except ygs live near one of the places where someone went missing
so he's physically walking along the path where someone went missing as he tells the story
poor baby is lowk kinda scared tho so he takes you along with him
youre mostly behind the camera but you do talk
at the beginning of the video he's like
"hi guys i'm joined by my girlfriend today"
you pop into frame to say hi
anyways like i said you do talk during this video
like as jungwon tells the story you're reacting behind the camera
"it's crazy that a 4 year old traversed 30 miles up a mountain in a matter of 30 hours..."
and behind the camera you're like "omg no way that's wild 😱😱😱"
youre like genuinely invested
you're also cracking a lot of jokes w him too
its really sweet bc most of his videos jungwon is alone, but since youre in this w him, he's smiling so much ;(
and like everytime he makes a joke you can see him looking off-camera to look at your reaction
and when you laugh everyone can literally see how proud he is
this video so SUPER well received
his comment section is so sweet
"i've never seen jungwon smile so much, he's so in love with [name] :("
"the way you can tell jungwon is proud when [name] laughs at his jokes"
but i think the most common type of comment are those type stamp ones
"at 1:23 [name]'s laugh is so cute!"
"0:58 when the camera panned over to [name] my jaw dropped... she's gorgeous!"
"5:29 [NAME] IS SO FUNNY I LOVE HER"
"at 4:40 i love the way [name] completes jungwon's sentence, i've never seen two people that are just so perfect for each other"
yk how on youtube there's that feature where you can see the most replayed part?
when you pop into frame that's the most replayed part of his video 😭
his viewerbase on reddit probably posts you
like its a screenshot from the video and theyre like "it's [name]! the one on the whiteboard!"
i think his fanbase would be really nice on reddit too :(
"she's so pretty!"
"jungwon has immaculate taste"
indeed he does <3
he's so proud of you, like i think he definitely looks at the comments and screenshots them to keep reading them
like YES THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND
HOWEVER
jungwon makes those "going through my subreddit" videos
and he comes across a post hyping you up
at first hes liek "YES YES YES MY GF IS SO BEAUTIFUL"
but then the comments on the post are like
"she's so beautiful, do ygs think she's single?"
"hi [name] 😏 (i am the ceo of amazon and read feminist literature books btw)"
obv all jokes
and jungwon's face visibly drops
he gives the camera a MAD side eye
a STINK EYE
jungwons like "all right, who said that 🤨"
AND THEN HE REPORTS AND BANS THEM 😭
he makes posts on his subreddit like "all of u are going missing next time i see shit like this"
HELP
riki ☆
sorry he's a shitposter
i think riki posts those genshin impact and fortnite playthroughs
but he also posts other gamer things
but he actually has a good fanbase
he's at like 900k subscribers even though he doesn't have a fixed upload schedule or specific genre of post
he's never showed his face like ever on his channel, but he definitely shows his personality through editing, video descriptions, and community posts
one day though
riki randomly posts a video titled "me and my girlfriend at the arcade"
and its a video of you and him on an arcade date :(
the majority of it is him behind the camera recording you as you play games
the way you can hear him chuckling behind the camera as you have cute reactions :((((
but there's also times where he's on camera
like when he's playing with the claw machine
and bc riki is a pro
he wins a you giant teddy bear!!
your cute lil cheers when he wins are like the most replayed part of the video
he takes such cute pictures of you hugging the bear aw
honestly his viewers are surprised when he posts the video
bc he used to be posting genshin impact videos why is there a vlog
but theyre not complaining
this video becomes one of his most viewed
since youre most of the video there's a lot of comments abt you
and i think his audience is close enough with riki to shit on him LMAAOAO
"[name] is so sweet i wanna hug her"
"i wish i was a teddy bear..."
"SHE'S SO CUTE"
"move aside riki"
"is [name] single by any chance"
"omg who is that weird random guy (riki) that keeps coming near you [name] is he bothering you queen"
"[name] who is this random guy are you cheating on me"
riki responds to these comments too
"you can't have her" "too bad she's lying in my arms right now" "she just kissed me" "do want want my girlfriend or a black eye"
he definitely starts fights
i think his video is so viral that he gets ppl outside his audience
and some ppl get mad when riki fights back 😭😭😭
“why is he fighting people they’re clearing joking” and riki responds like “yeah why is he fighting 🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡”
and then riki gets petty
and makes a video called
"addressing everything."
its like a logan paul apology video
it's also like 30 seconds 😭
"hi all... i just wanted to come here and apologize... for having a HOT GIRLFRIEND" and then he flips off the camera and it cuts off with you saying "babe?--"
lowk goes viral for it LMAO
behold the keyboard warrior trilogy- heehoonki ☠️
in the future riki does post more of your cute vlogs
and in the descriptions he's just ranting abt how much he loves you
lowk all the vlogs are basically just him admiring you
cuties
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#sunoo#kim sunoo#sunoo enhypen#sunoo fluff#sunoo imagines#sunoo x reader#jungwon#jungwon x reader#jungwon imagines#jungwon fluff#enhypen riki#nishimura riki#riki x reader#riki fluff#niki fluff#niki x reader#star-sim#vanya-writes
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relief switch | sim jaeyun | m
pairing: switch! sim jaeyun x switch! female reader
genre: smut
au: established relationship
rating: explicit/18+, minors dni
word count: 7k
sexual warnings: switch/soft dom jake and switch y/n, oral (male receiving), fingering, dirty talk, head pusher jake, unprotective sex, non penetrative and penetrative sex, whiny jake, begging, swearing, slight size kink???, thigh riding, hair pulling, lots of praise (praise kink???), spanking, naked dry humping(??? idk what else to call it), pet names (useful girl, sweet boy, good boy/girl, sweetheart, babe, baby, my love etc i practically used them all), body worship, marking, biting, edging, choking, overstimulation, forced orgasm, creampie, a bit of nipple play, roleplay for like .02 seconds, lots of moaning/whimpering/whining, a smidge of degradation, jake is down horrendous, they're so in love it makes me sick, good aftercare :]
a/n: sorry idk what demon possessed me. also shoutout to my best friend @sungbeams this one is for you ♡ and no i am not jayunki biased i dont wanna hear it anymore k thanks ♡
Groans and jangling keys fill your small apartment as you and your boyfriend return home from your prospective jobs at the same time. No words are spoken as you both remove your shoes, throwing them haphazardly with a pout towards the shoe stand near the front entryway. Neither of you bothers to turn on the light, leaving your apartment in a calming darkness as the sun sets outside.
“Today sucked.” Jake finally breaks the silence, leaning against the front door. His eyes shut for a moment as he loosens his tie from his neck.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” you grumble, hanging up your jacket and sticking your hand out for his without a glance.
He hands it to you with a sigh. “I’m honestly in a terrible mood. Just a fair warning in case I say something a little mean. I just genuinely do not have an ounce of joy in my body right now.”
Normally, you would be comforting your boyfriend without letting another moment pass by; guiding him to the plump couch and putting on his favorite show, making him his favorite food, snuggling up with him and whispering sweet words in his ear while you run your fingers through his hair until he falls asleep. It’s a foolproof plan for when he’s having a bad day or just needs some extra comfort.
But, like him, you also do not feel even an ounce of happiness in your own body. And a part of you feels guilty for not being able to swallow it down so you can be there for him properly.
Noticing the difference in your behavior, Jake straightens himself, tilting his head to the side while he looks at you with furrowed brows.
“You okay, babe? Work doesn’t usually get to you like this. Do you want to talk about it?” He speaks to you with a low softened voice, despite his earlier proclamation.
Vigorously, you shake your head. “It’s just dumb stuff and I know I’m overreacting slightly. I just…I don't know…I kinda wanna just be in a bad mood? Does that make sense?” you chuckle, “I know it sounds dumb but-“
“No, I get it,” stepping towards you, Jake pinches your chin gently between his thumb and pointer finger, “Hell, take it out on me if you need to.”
It might be the way his thumb is lingering along your jawline now, hovering so his skin is only slightly grazing against yours, or the way his eyes darken as he looks at your lips, but something in his words sounds more like a plea than a simple comedic suggestion.
You narrow your eyes at your boyfriend, trying your best not to convey how instantaneously he takes over your mind and body. It’s dizzying the way he looks you up and down, consuming how you can feel the heat from every slight touch of his hand.
“How would you like me to take it out on you?” You question with a lowered voice, tilting your head down slightly to flick your eyes more up at him, batting your eye lashes in a way you know he can’t resist.
His thumb stops moving just below your bottom lip where his eyes also rest. “Well, depends on the type of day you had. Do you need to let out your anger? Pretend I’m your boss and raise your voice, say some absurd things? Or do you need to feel useful?” The more he talks, the lower his tone and volume go, his voice growing softer while his speech slows. To make it worse, at the end of his sentence he releases your lips from his gaze, his deep brown eyes flicking up ever so slightly to meet your own. And you instantly become putty in his hands.
“Useful,” you mutter, averting your gaze to the side to avoid the smirk you know is displayed on his handsome face.
“Oh, I can put you to use, my love. Knees. Now.” Jake commands with a snap of his finger before pointing it down at the ground and using his other hand to give your bottom lip a quick swipe with his thumb.
“Right here? In the entryway? What about the bedro-“
“I thought,” he cuts you off, removing his hand from your face to slowly start undoing his belt, “you wanted,” the belt’s on the floor, his hands now unbuttoning his slacks, “to be,” his eyes are locked on yours, “useful,” he growls.
Placing a hand on the back of your head, he leans you forward, giving you a swift tender kiss on the forehead before pushing your head down.
You fall to your knees quickly, your hands sliding down his torso until they rest at his hips where his slacks are barely hanging on by his growing bulge that you’re now eye level with.
Between clenched teeth and a sharp inhale of his breath, Jake commands, “Don’t make me have to ask you twice.”
Your hands move without any further hesitation to push his slacks and underwear down from his hips, his hardened member bouncing at the release of the constraints. How is he already this hard? Jake’s weeping cock is already fully stiff and alert, a small bead of precum glistening at his tip, begging for contact.
Looking straight up at your man, wanting to hold his gaze, you stick your tongue out and give him a long lick from the base of his member to just below the bulbous part of his tip. Jake’s head falls back against the door, his eyes fluttering to the back of his head as one of his hands reaches for your hair. He strokes it gently at first before giving a warning tug.
“Please,” he whines softly with an airy gasp, eyes still closed, “not today. Don’t tease me today, Y/n.”
Even though he’s not looking, you still smile up at him fondly. Just for a moment, savoring the desperate look on his face before swirling your tongue along his tip.
Jake’s body trembles, mouth open slightly as he sucks in a breath. Then suddenly, he opens his eyes. They narrow down at you with a darkness that loudly tells you he is not planning on warning you again. Jake places both of his hands around your head, palms brushing your temples as he lines your mouth to his cock.
You hold his eye contact as you open your mouth and wait for him.
You don’t have to wait long. Jake has never been the patient type. And when it comes to you sucking him off? He was never really good at playing around and teasing and for sure did not like to have that patience tested.
Slowly, but steadily, Jake pushes himself into your mouth until your nose brushes his abdomen. Stifling a gag, you moan against his body and try to maintain your focus. His entire body shivers as he holds you in place, hands still cupping your face lightly as your eyes flutter shut. It takes everything in you to try to remember to breathe through your nose, or really, to remember to breathe at all. Which seems ridiculous but, in this moment, every cell of your body is consumed by him.
Jake’s head falls back against the doorframe yet again, an intense inhale goes in through his nose and his lips form in a tight line. He may have tried to contain his moans but couldn’t suppress a deep, guttural groan from ripping out deep within his throat.
“Fuuuckkk, baby. How do you always take me so well?” His thumbs brush at the tears welling up under your eyes, a soft, fond smile forming on his face.
The softness of his features only lasts for a moment before he starts moving his hips with a perfect cadence, relentlessly fucking your throat.
“That’s my good, useful girl,” Jake slowly groans. With each thrust that has him hitting the back of your throat, you try to focus on your breathing even more. Your goal is to not gag, no matter how much your body wants to, no matter how much you know he would love it. He’s claimed in the past that hearing you gag on him alone gives him an insane ego boost. But feeling it? Oh he couldn’t contain himself. Knowing he’s too big for his perfect girl but she tries her best to please him anyways? One of the best feelings a guy could ever hope to experience.
And because of this, Jake knows exactly when you’re on the brink of hitting your limit. As much as he would love to chase his own pleasure, he’s choosing to think outside of himself and knows you need this more than he does.
One of Jake’s hands moves to grab a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back and your mouth off of his slick cock, leaving a string of saliva connecting the two of your bodies together.
Jake kneels down until he’s face to face with you, holding your face in his hands as he looks in your eyes. “That’s all I needed. Now, let me get a good look at you.”
His grip makes it impossible for you to look away. All you can muster out is a slight moan in protest, your bottom lip jutting out as you furrow your eyebrows. Thumbs catching some runaway tears from under your eyes, Jake lets out a low chuckle, peppering quick kisses along your face.
“As good as you make me feel,” he starts, guiding you up to your feet and leading you towards the bedroom, “it’s not how I want to come.”
“But I barely even-”
“Shhh,” Jake abruptly pushes you up against the wall in the hallway, his lust filled eyes combing over the spots where his hands roam all over your body, “it’s okay, baby. That’s all the use I needed from you. You did amazing. Let me make you feel good now.”
Gently and slowly, at first, he kisses your lips, moving your arms so they wrap around his neck. Muscle memory has your hands interlocking in his hair at his nape, giving a slight tug which elicits a sweet groan from your man. It doesn’t take long after that for the kiss to deepen, Jake moving one his knees to press against your clothed heat. He pulls away from you briefly to look in your eyes, looks down at his knee then back up at you, giving you an encouraging nod, his eyes wide and eager, swimming with excited anticipation.
You look deeply into Jake’s eyes as you lower your core down to his thigh, holding his gaze as you slowly move yourself along his muscle. You can’t hold in the soft whine that comes out as you finally feel some friction on your needy clit. Jake loves and hates when you hold eye contact and moan like this, claiming it’s an unfair use of power. He shakes slightly under your touch, gripping your hips tightly enough to surely leave some marks. He tries to hold your eye contact, but can’t help as his eyes roll back, his body moving closer to yours to grind with you.
“Fuuckkk, baby,” Jake lulls out, “you really needed me this badly?” He continues to grip your hips, now guiding you along his thigh. His assistance reveals his own desperation. Jake pushes you down harder against him while simultaneously moving you back and forth at a faster pace. Pretty little desperate whines come out of him as he stares hazeley at your lips.
“Mmmm, sweet boy, look at you. So desperate to make me feel good, hm?” It was hard to talk like this in this position you’re in. Too easy it would be to give into your boyfriend’s ministrations, too easy it would be to give in to your own wants and pleasures.
“Please use me now.” Jake’s grip on your hips tighten. Your wincing muddles amongst his moans as he grinds you harder against his thigh.
“Please, baby,” he begs again, his yearning glossed over eyes meet your gaze once more. A lightning shock shoots down to your already throbbing core, “Please need me.”
That is your last straw.
“Oh my- I need you so badly, Jake. I can't take this teasing foreplay anymore. I need to feel you inside me. Baby, please.”
Switch flipping yet again, Jake doesn’t hesitate and wraps both of your legs around his waist, now carrying you to the bedroom while you feverishly kiss along his neck and jawline, leaving a pretty trail of love marks as you go.
He walks towards the room with long confident strides, holding you up easily with one hand as he opens the door. And once you’re both inside, he closes the door behind him with a simple kick of his foot, not even bothering to look back as he does so.
Laying you down softly on the bed, Jake’s jaw clenches as he works to fully undress himself. As he’s unbuttoning his shirt, he smiles softly at you and leans forward, connecting his lips with yours yet again. The kiss is soft, delicate, as his fingers continue to work against the stiff buttons of his shirt. Your body relaxes against the kiss, your mouths molding together with familiarity, tongues swimming messily with each other in a familiar dance.
Finally, his top is fully undone but he doesn’t take it off. As for his pants, he’s long forgotten those somewhere near the front door of your shared apartment. Jake doesn’t hesitate with removing your clothes, practically ripping them from your body. He’s fueled by his need to see you naked and needs to see you now.
Your chest rises even faster as your skin is now exposed, your boyfriend taking a moment to marvel at your physic.
“You are so damn beautiful,” he grumbles as he gets on all fours, crawling on the bed until he’s hovering over you, using one hand to pump his length a few times for good measure. He bites his bottom lip as he looks down at himself and back up at you, the sparkle in his eyes all too telling how excited he is to dive right in and ruin you.
“Are you ready for me, sweetheart?” He holds himself at your entrance, body frozen in place as he looks into your eyes with those big pleading puppy dog eyes of his that always has you on your knees. You could never say no to him when he looks at you like this. How he manages to look so adorable and sexy at the same time will forever be a mystery to you.
“If we wait any longer I might actually lose my mind,” you huff, leaning forward to cup both of your hands on his cheeks, pulling him forward into a savory deep kiss. Jake’s eyes immediately flutter shut as you guide him down with you, his lips hungrily chasing after your own. Before your head even hits the pillows, Jake blindly inserts his tip inside your cunt, the sensation making you gasp against him.
Jake chuckles against your mouth, taking the chance to quickly pepper sweet kisses around your entire face. “Hmm? Didn’t think I’d be able to do it without looking? Darling I know your body better than anyone else. I could find this pussy anywhere.” The confident smirk on his face pulls you in even deeper to his charms.
His words make you clench around him, making your boyfriend wince slightly.
“So tight. Even though it’s just my tip. I guess I should have taken the time to prep you properly. I’m sorry, darling, this might sting.”
And, without another word, Jake pushes himself forward, his cock sliding into you painfully slow. Each inch stretching you further and further as your body desperately tries to adjust as quickly as it can. A mix between a choked moan and a gasp leaves your lips while Jake turns his head to the side to sink his teeth into the flesh of your shoulder, small whimpers coming from him in return.
Wanting to hear more from him, you take one hand and intertwine your fingers in his wavy black locks, tugging slightly so his head is lifted from the crook of your neck. Now that he’s facing you, you can properly look him in the eyes while he whimpers again, this time from the tugging on his scalp. Jake’s bottom lip juts out at you, his puppy eyes are back, pleading for something unknown to you.
Despite his pouty demeanor, Jake is still rocking his hips back and forth, pounding into you at a satiable rhythm. The dynamic between you two might seem confusing to anyone on the outside looking in, but the satisfaction from being with someone who’s both submissive and dominant all at the same time is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. Plus, it allows you the space to give the same in return. Taking turns between caring for each others needs to then be the one receiving fulfills you in more ways than you can even begin to explain.
“Aw don’t give me those eyes, pretty boy. You know how it makes me melt,” you sigh, eyes rolling back as you roll your hips in time with his thrusts.
“Let me leave marks on you then.” Jake doesn’t wait for a response. He quickly grabs your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging softly before sucking. Words completely escape your brain as he releases you, smirking before diving back down against your neck. Your brain starts to feel dizzy as he adjusts his hips, fixing the angle of his thrusts ever so slightly to where he knows he’ll hit your g-spot. He nips at the flesh below your ear, right in the spot that sends chills down your entire body. At this point, your clit is throbbing and it’s your turn to become a pouty, moany mess.
“Use your words, Y/n,” Jake chuckles against your neck, giving one last bite before flatting his tongue on the sensitive area.
When he doesn’t hear you say anything in response to his command, he sits himself up so he’s looking in your eyes. One of his eyebrows quirks up, waiting for your response. When you still won’t give it to him, he stops his languid movements and slowly pulls himself out of you with a tsk tsk tsk.
“I know you know better than to ignore me.” He licks his lips slowly and leans forward, his face now hovering directly over yours. Your chest is rising and falling quickly, not realizing how out of breath you were from only such a short time of contact with him. Jake’s head tilts to the side, his eyes darkening ever so slightly as his impatience takes over. Suddenly, one of his hands is lingering over your throat, his thumb lightly brushing against your esophagus.
“Now, beautiful. Why are we being so stubborn all of a sudden? Why aren’t you talking to me?” He releases your throat by moving his hand upward just a bit, his thumb moves along your jawline then up some more to trace along the outside of your bottom lip. Tingles and chills naturally erupt throughout your body with every soft touch he leaves on your skin. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed since you two have been together, Jake still has this unwavering affect on your mind, body and soul. Subconsciously your body communicates with his, going well beyond needing words at times.
But that doesn’t mean Jake doesn’t want to hear them still.
“I know you want something. It’s so easy to tell with the way you’re moaning and the way your hips are bucking up against me. Just say the words and it’s yours.”
It’s stupid to try to compete with him. No matter how hard of a stubborn fight you could try to conjure up, Jake always wins.
Always.
“I want you to play with my clit while you fuck me,” you whine, drawing out the last syllables in an unmistakably ‘you can’t say no to me’ way, shaking your shoulders, closing your eyes and jutting out your lower lip for extra affect. He might be the one to win every time it comes to stubbornness, but no one can deny the fight you put up when it comes to pouting, begging, and pleading.
“Ugh, baby don’t give me that look, please,” Jake rolls off of you, now on his back beside you with one arm covering his eyes, “I just want to hear you say what you want. I love listening to your demands. It's so sexy when you tell me what you need.”
“Would it be even sexier if I just do it?”
Jake moves his arm slightly to look at you with a questioning yet excited gaze. His hesitation and agape mouth is all the answer you needed.
Without letting another second pass, in one swift motion you’re now on top of him; both legs straddling either side of his thighs and your core hovering dangerously close to his cock.
“Fuck,” he mumbles, hands up in the air somewhat similar to a surrender pose. Jake’s eyes dart all across your body, genuinely not knowing what to do. His mind races with all the places he wants to put his hands on you, all the things he wants to do and say to you. It’s happening so fast that he’s stuck in a frozen state.
You place one hand confidently on his chest, making sure he stays put. It’s your turn to hover your face over his, taunting him with what looks like is going to be a kiss, but you pull back at the last second, smirking at the dumbfounded look on your boyfriend’s face.
“Haven’t you ever heard the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’?” You tease.
“Oh yes, I have,” he nods quickly, eyes wide as he licks his lips hungrily, his hands now resting comfortably (and cockily) behind his head, “but I think I could still use a demonstration.”
With a smirk, you lean down and kiss his plump lips. It’s slow and intentional, setting the pace of not wanting to get too lost in the moment. After a few languid exchanges, you lower your hips down until finally, finally, your still sopping cunt makes contact with his length. You know he expects you to be just as impatient as him, to just grind against him a couple times before finally letting him back inside you.
But that would just be too easy.
You slowly start to grind against him, moving back and forth slowly. You press down harder against him when you get close to his tip, making the poor boy moan louder and louder each time you do so. Almost immediately your slick is coating him, the friction now even more satisfying the more you grind against him.
“Ugh…Y/n…baby…put me in already,” he begs, his eyes clenched tightly shut, “Put me in so I can start playing with your clit like you wanted.” Beads of sweat start to trickle down his temples, his cheeks flushed a glowing shade of pink. You silently ignore his pleas, wordlessly picking up your pace and pressure. Jake’s hands fly to your hips, nails digging into your skin at a satisfying grip. At first, you thought he was going to attempt to stop your movements. But, to your amusement, he’s only assisting you more. He guides your hips along his length while bucking his hips upward. You’re desperately trying to revel in the absolute mess of a sight your boyfriend is below you, but the friction against your clit is getting harder and harder to ignore. Jake’s eyes are still shut tight, his bottom lip now quivering as a slew of please’s and an array of petnames leave those pretty lips of his. At this point, your brain is so hazy you can’t even make out anything he’s saying.
Eyes focusing on those quivering lips, you lean in once again, this time more hungry and desperate than before. Going straight for that bottom lip of his, you pull it between your teeth, groaning with him as you feel his cock twitch between your other lips.
“Baby, please. If you don’t slow down I’m going to come.” His legs are starting to tremble beneath you as he desperately tries to find relief and restraint in the same action. His composure is cracking more and more.
And you only want to do as you're told.
So, with a smirk, you slow your pace to a painstakingly slow one. From quick and harsh movements to slow, drawn out romantic ones, Jake is immediately regretting his word choice.
If it’s any consolation at all, it’s just as torturous for you as it is for him. The moans and whines you’ve been trying to trap within yourself are letting loose and competing with the whimpering man beneath you. The longer you draw this out, the harder it is for you to keep your own composure, quickly forgetting the punchline to the joke you’re playing on him.
“Fu-fuck, oh my god. I can’t- I can’t take this anymore, baby. Please, let me come. I need to come,” he pleads with a shaking voice, head thrown back against the pillows so that the muscles in his neck strain. In this position he’s proudly displaying the bright love marks you’ve left along his delicate skin. Seeing those marks ignites something truly primal within you, knowing that he is all yours and everyone, stranger or familiar, will know it without a doubt. Jake always wears your marks proudly after the fact too, claiming that if anyone has an issue with it they’re just immature and jealous that he gets fucked so well and they don’t. It’s a part of what makes marking him up even more arousingly special. Plus, it’s not like he doesn’t do the same to you. The running joke at both of your places of employment is that whenever either of you come in with a new scarf or turtle neck it’s to maintain what little bit of professionalism you have left. But if anyone asks about it…neither you nor Jake are shy of pulling down the garments and displaying the pretty bruises in any coloring stage they may currently be in.
“You want to come now?” You finally speak up. Jake’s muscles start to twitch all throughout his body at the sound of your sultry tone. You watch as he bites down on his bottom lip hard, gripping your hips even tighter as he desperately tries to hang on for just a little bit longer.
Jake finally opens his eyes to give you that irresistible pleading stare. “Yes, please.”
“Such a needy boy, all ready to come without even being inside of me,” you coo and Jake just whimpers in response. You lean your head down next to his ear, making sure he feels the warmth of your shaky breath as you tell your sweet boy to come for you, eliciting a quick bite on his earlobe.
Of course, you do this while guiding your cunt only along the tip of his cock now, thankfully (in Jake’s mind at least) picking up speed once again. Jake’s mouth falls open in the perfect ‘O’ shape, his moans coming out in gasps and he looks in your eyes. Mere moments later you feel his cock spasm beneath you, his hips bucking up as he sits up slightly, spurts of cum shooting past your folds and onto his stomach.
He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close against him as his chest rises and falls quickly. Jake whimpers and nuzzles his face into the side of your neck, leaving soft desperate kisses where he can. In turn you wrap your arms around his shoulders and rest your head against his. Soft murmurs of praise and comfort leave your lips as you rub your thumb in small circles against his bare skin. You both stay like this for a moment, you not caring about the pause in intimate physical action. In your relationship, this moment of sex is the most intimate you can be with one another and it’s something you cherish deeply. Knowing that the both of you put the other person's needs and comforts before their own is something unique to you both.
The heartfelt moment doesn’t last as long as it usually does though, because before you can even blink you find yourself with your back now on the bed and Jake with a devilish smirk looming above you.
“My turn,” he snarls, grabbing your hips roughly and flipping you onto your stomach. Time isn’t wasted with your impatient man as he pulls your hips towards him, placing a hand between your shoulder blades to keep your head down.
A loud smack followed by your body wincing, Jake rubs his hand soothingly on the mound of your ass that he just spanked. He’s cooing something under his breath, but your heart beating loudly in your ears keeps you from hearing what he’s saying exactly.
You’re about to ask him to repeat himself, turning your head so you can see him properly, when he smacks his hand across your butt harder than before.
“Did I say you can move? Face back down.”
The growl in his undertone sends shivers down your spine, eyes widening as you turn back and do as you're told.
Not long after that you feel three of Jake’s fingers push deep into your cunt, pistoning in and out at an insane speed, especially considering he hasn’t properly warmed you up.
You cry out in surprise, gasping into the bedsheets while the friction and lack of proper build up confuses your body. All the tension from before blooms inside you and you can't believe you’re already feeling that white heat about to burst inside you.
“You’re already clenching around my fingers,” Jake chuckles in surprise, not relenting on his speed as he continues to scissor his digits inside of you, “oh my poor needy baby, you’re absolutely soaking me.”
You shut your eyes tightly, trying to think of anything to hold onto your sanity. You absolutely cannot come this quickly, you’ll never hear the end of it from Jake. You wouldn’t put it past him to brag to everyone and anyone he knows about it too, it must be some kind of record, right? Making your girlfriend come in less than a minute? Maybe even less than thirty seconds? Yeah there’s no way you can let him have this one. But fuck, he really knows how to curl those fingers perfectly within you, beckoning your release with aggressive tender strokes.
Tears prick your eyes and you can’t stay still, grasping at the bedsheets frantically while you try to adjust your body to avoid the inevitable.
“Not so funny when the tables are turned, huh?” Jake chuckles menacingly, speeding up his pace and flicking his thumb against your throbbing clit. It feels like he’s about to split you in two with his fingers alone and your entire body is at war with itself – unsure if it loves the contact or wants to get away.
“As soon as you come I’ll give you my cock again. That’s all you gotta do.” He states plainly, almost nonchalantly, eyes focused as he watches his fingers drill in and out of your hole, unknowingly pushing you right over the edge and perfectly into his trap.
Everything blurs as your release erupts. Moans of pleasure and surprise fill the room while Jake grabs ahold of your hips, rooting you in place.
“That’s it, baby. I’ve got you. Just needed to hear my voice to get you to come undone, hmm?” His one hand roams over the mound of your ass while he murmurs to you, fingers still languidly pumping in and out of you. Your muscles are finally starting to relax, legs still shaking as your breath catches up with you. Just as you’re about to collapse into the bed, Jake says one word that has your eyes opening wide in surprise.
“Ready?”
You open your mouth to ask ‘Ready for what?��� but before you can get the words out your cunt is deliciously stretched, now filled to the brim with your boyfriend’s throbbing cock.
“Ah-aahhh,” Jake sighs, “you’re still so tight holy shit.”
You jolt forward as you feel his tip kiss the edges of your walls. Pulsing around him, you’re still sore from the damage his fingers did just moments before. Jake’s hands move from your hips and roam your body, admiring everything about you as he gives you a moment to adjust to his girth. His hair tickles between your shoulder blades as he leans forward to plant chaste kisses across your skin, groans singing out between each one that he leaves. His cock twitches inside of you and you know it’s taking everything in him to keep calm and still. Even his breathing is becoming rigid and off beat.
Wordlessly, he lifts himself up and slowly pulls himself away from you until just his tip is inside. It’s like you can hear his brain churning with thoughts and ideas, but you know his brain fog can get just as bad as yours and he’s probably lost in the moment.
Now that you’ve had a taste of him, though, you’re not letting him off so easily.
“Jaakkeeee,” you whine, wiggling your ass slightly to get his attention, which only backfires and makes your body flinch with the feeling of him still partially inside of you.
“I’m trying not to go crazy here.” He laughs. You turn your head to look over your shoulder and see your boyfriend's eyes glued to where you’re both connected.
With a warning bite to your tone, you mutter his name again and he groans in response, biting down hard on his bottom lip before chuckling to himself.
“Alright. You asked for it.” He snaps his hips forward and slams his cock deep into you again. Instead of starting a slow rhythmic pace he thrusts quick and hard. Your body is pressed firmly into the mattress with the way he’s holding you down, his grip stronger than you’ve ever felt in the past.
The pace he’s set is dizzying, pounding you deep into the mattress as the sounds of your squelching wetness fills the room. Your body doesn’t even get a chance to fully appreciate the bliss he’s bringing you before your system is shocked again and again and again.
“Gonna fuck you till you’re good and dumb, all you’ll be able to say is my name,” he grunts, giving a deep smack to your ass before grabbing your hips and pulling you back and forth with his thrusts.
Normally you’d giggle at him in response, but fuck he might actually be fucking you stupid. Moans, whines, and his name is truly all your lips can form. You want to scream out how good he’s making you feel, but each time his cock slams against your sweet spot your eyes roll to the back of your head and you lose any coherent thought that was trying to form inside your brain.
None of it goes unnoticed, of course. Jake is a very observant and attentive boyfriend in every sense.
“What? Five seconds with my dick inside you and you lose your mind? Who knew you would be such a cock hungry little slut.”
“Just…just for you.” Is all you manage to gasp out knowing how much Jake loves to hear how you only go crazy for him.
“Fuck.” His thrusts quicken despite his already relentless pace. Jake pulls your hips upwards ever so slightly, but it’s enough to change the angle, his tip now hitting a perfect bullseye against your sweet spot. The force of his body slamming into yours doesn’t give you a chance. Before you know it, you’re coming undone yet again, body shaking as you gush all over his cock.
“You’re coming so quickly tonight, baby. Work really has had you all pent up. Don’t worry, just hang on a little bit longer and then you can rest, okay?” Jake kisses the spot between your shoulder blades again, one of his hands reaching around to grab at your breasts. He tweaks at your perked nipple as his pace becomes sloppy and uneven, his head resting on your back as his hips continue to snap back and forth. Small whimpers leave his lips as he chases his second release that he’s been holding onto for so long now.
“Mmm, fuck, baby, you’re squeezing me so tight,” he whines, lifting his head up and placing his hands back on your hips.
Three more thrusts is all he has left in him. On the final thrust he grinds his hips harshly against you, making sure his cock is as deep in your cunt as it can possibly be as he spills his seed deep within your clenching walls.
The warmth weirdly soothes you through your overstimulated body. Being full of him like this makes you feel even closer to him and it’s something you’ll never get tired of. Feeling his cock twitch relentlessly inside you is addicting, your body trembles with satiated pleasure around him, wishing this feeling never had to end.
“Fuck that was a lot,” Jake mutters to himself. You feel him spilling out of you even with his cock still stuffed inside of you. You chance a look back at your boyfriend and marvel at the sight of him; wavy hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, his eyes fluttering slightly from bliss and tiredness, and his beautifully plump lips parted slightly as he tries to regain his breath. It’s a breathtaking sight, and one you’ll never truly get used to seeing.
All too soon, Jake slowly pulls himself out of you. The loss of contact from him has you wanting to throw a mini fit, but you’re too tired to fight for it. Plus, it’s not like you’ll be feeling this emptiness for long. The likelihood of you being woken up in the middle of the night with your boyfriend between your thighs, lapping up the previous night's leftover reminiscence, is very high. Once is never enough when it comes to Sim Jaeyun.
After a moment, your boyfriend helps you flip over onto your back, nessling himself against your warm body as you try to catch your breath. Your arm wraps around him automatically, holding him as close to your beating heart as you can muster.
Silent minutes pass by. Both of your chests finally fall into a calm and matching rhythmic beat and his skin isn’t feeling as hot to the touch as it was moments ago.
With a groan, Jake sits himself up and stretches his arms over his head, letting out a satisfied sigh as he brings them back down.
Turning to you, Jake leans down and presses a light kiss to your forehead, his lips quivering slightly as his body still recovers from the intense orgasm. Wobbling slightly, Jake leaves the bedroom and flicks on the bathroom light, returning in a short minute with a paper towel. Wordlessly, he tilts your chin up with a delicate hand, fingers tracing outlines of your skin as he carefully collects the sweat from your face. And he continues this down your entire body, even opening your legs to gain access so he can clean the cum from between your legs.
He leaves again, probably throwing out the paper towel, obviously. Jake doesn’t return empty handed though. Water droplets intertwine between his fingers as the condensation slips from the water bottle he has in hand. He sits down on the bed again, smiling at you softly as he uncaps the water bottle, motioning with his head for you to sit up.
You do as you're told, wincing slightly as you truly get a feel for how sore you are. Everything hurts. The muscles in your legs, your still pulsating clit, your insides, literally everything. You scoot backwards so you can rest against the headboard and reach for the water bottle in Jake’s hand. He pulls it away, shaking his head as he tells you to open your mouth.
How could you not smile slightly as you tilt your head back, water dribbling down the sides of your chin as your boyfriend giggles next to you, cupping his hand under your face to catch the escaping water, as if that would do anything.
Cheeks full of water and eyes twinkling, you take a moment to look into Jake’s eyes. Something pangs lovingly deep within your chest as you’re met with the same look of adoration on his own face. It’s a moment where it feels like time has stopped, the world spinning by as you two live comfortably in your own little world.
Jake sighs as he tilts his head, a sweet innocent smile painted on his face while his shoulders relaxe, still holding your gaze. “I love you.”
All you can do to keep yourself from getting too teary eyed is jut out your bottom lip and hold out your arms to him. Jake smiles again and crawls towards you, the water bottle now resting on the nightstand, his head finding solace on your chest while the rest of his body sits like a weighted blanket between your legs.
Like magnets, your fingers instantly go to his hair, softly running along his scalp while lightly tugging on the wavy strands. Jake sighs with relief and you just know his eyes are already closed. His arms wrap around your waist, squeezing slightly as he buries his face upward to rest in the crook of your neck.
“I love you too,” you whisper back followed by a gentle kiss to the top of his head. You feel his lips brush against your neck in a lazy and comforting reply.
Your hands move lower, massaging the muscles of his back as you both go back and forth mumbling and murmuring about how you appreciate each other. The horrid day long forgotten as you lay peacefully within each other’s arms, knowing no matter what tomorrow or any future day may bring, you’ll always have a safe home with one another.
a/n: ♡ pls like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed! ♡ masterlist all rights reserved jayparked 10/18/24 do not copy, repost, or translate want to be added to my tag list? click here
#svnet#jake smut#enhypen jake smut#jake x reader#jake x you#jake x y/n#jaeyun smut#sim jaeyun smut#jaeyun x you#jaeyun x reader#enhypen smut
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How to make a powerful, hot vampire you still want to hug
Hi tumblr! I'm Cyrus Nemati, creative director at Little Bat Games, and a voice actor you might know from games likes Hades (I did the really secure guy and the really insecure guy).
We're closing in on the release of our debut title, Vampire Therapist, and based on tumblr's response in the past, I think you might be interested in seeing our creative process.
Andromachos is our 3000-year-old vampire mentor you'll meet early in Vampire Therapist. He's a complicated character: he was an assassin and warrior for most of his 3000 years, but a personal crisis put him on a voyage of self-discovery in the 1800s. Therapy never existed in his time, but as it developed, so did he. We needed a character who expressed wisdom and strength, but also gentleness and compassion. And of course, he's a vampire in a sexy vampire game. He needed to look like a Mediterranean dream.
This was our initial sketch of Andromachos by art director Ruth Bosch (https://x.com/rthbosch). As you can see, he's already oozing confident vampire energy, and he clearly has the wisdom of 3000 years. This is someone you want as your therapist. Vampire Therapist is a game with specific needs, and a certain lightheartedness is one of them. This Andromachos is very much grounded in reality, and just might be *too* realistically sexy.
This was @nomnomroko's first test render for Andromachos before joining the team. Right away, she understood the *figure* of Andromachos and poise of a man who has lived for 3000 years, but this was a more villainous (albeit super hot character). We toned him down shortly after, and brought back in some of the more grounded humanity from Ruth's initial sketch. You can make fan art of this version, though, we won't mind. This version might come back if we ever do a prequel!
Here's his toned down version, already much closer to the Andromachos we see in the final game. He's lost none of his power, but is already the welcoming presence we needed to have in Vampire Therapist.
Body language is also a key aspect of our game. In a game about therapy, we are mostly sitting, so the ways we can express emotion and intention are more subtle. You can already see the strength of Andromachos's character here.
Which takes us to our final rendering!
I love Andromachos. Or Andy, as more familiar folk call him. And I think you will, too. To me, he's a perfect synthesis between Ruth's initial rendering and Sybille's test that fits the comedic, warm, and very human tone of our game.
You can check out our game on Steam and GOG, and your wishlists will make algorithms happy. As you know, everything is algorithms! Help us make Vampire Therapist 2?
Steam:
And GOG:
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Scum villain crack fic idea:
One or more of the peak lords switch places in time with their younger selves for like a week and basically decides to spend that time gossiping. “It’s so nice to be able to not hear Shen-Shixiong and his husbands causing another scandal” “An Ding is so much warmer without the King of the North in semi-permanent residence” “Have you heard of ‘The resentment of Chunshan?’”
This person just keeps dropping multiple bombshells and is low key revealing in the chaos. The current head disciples and previous peak lords are loosing their shit at the idea that not only is TLJ roaming free, the demon realm is united, HHP is run by a half demon, etc, but also that, at minimum two peak lords are married to demon royalty.
For comedic purposes I propose that this au includes as many peak lords as possible in some sort of human-demon relationship.
Minds are blown with the mention of SQH being both the King of the North’s Consort, but also advisor to the demon emperor.
SQQ the leacher is in a committed gay relationship with two men? With his Disciple?? Who is said Current Demonic Emperor?! And LIU QINGGE?!
Tianlang-jun and YQY’s relationship is like two divorcees who bond over missing their spouses. Do Not Separate that is his emotional support demon/peak lord.
QQQ and SHL become gossip buddies after she marries LMY.
MQF the doctor meets the ultimate snakeboy (anti venom!) who is Also part Heavenly Demon (ultimate cure all!!!!)(on Qiong Ding with his uncle) and decides he’s keeping him. A relationship originating from medical researcher & subject of research becomes an extremely close friendship. They are very done with everyone’s nonsense.
WQW and Six Balls are engaged.
#svsss#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#moshang#bingqiu#bingliushen#tianyue#luo binghe#mobei jun#tianlang jun#yue qingyuan#mu qingfang#zzl#zhuzhi lang#sha hualing#liu mingyan#mingling
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A Quick Guide To Getting Caught Up On Critical Role Fast
This guide is for people who want the fastest way official to get caught up on all 3 Critical Role campaigns without seeing the full actual play episodes. They're all made so that the AP will still be enjoyable later even if you know what happens. There's no "right" way to get into the series, and already having an idea of what happens can even help make the APs more enjoyable and easier to understand.
Summary:
The Legend of Vox Machina
Crit Recap Animated
Exandria: An Intimate History
Critical Role Abridged
Guide:
Campaign 1:
The Legend of Vox Machina on Amazon Prime is the animated adaptation of C1 by the same creators. Sam Riegel said the creative approach is this was the version in av later play. All the important bits are there, but they get to those moments differently.
The Legend of Vox Machina has 3 seasons out now that cover events up through at least episode 85. A 4th season is in the works and will probably cover the final arc.
Campaign 2:
An animated adaptation for Amazon Prime called "Mighty Nein" is in the works, but not out yet.
Crit Role Animated is an older comedic summary series presented by their Lore Keeper that covers the whole campaign in 10 videos. Great if you want the gist.
It's like a history crash course history video meant to get you curious to learn the full story later. Great way to get a sense of who people are and what they've done. Available on YouTube and their streaming platform Beacon.
Exandrian History Review:
Exandria: An Intimate History is a timeline review of key events in world history, starting from the creation.
It was released before Campaign 3 as bonus content. It represents what the average person in Exandria knows about world history up to that point.
youtube
Campaign 3:
Critical Role Abridged is the Campaign 3 AP condensed down into 1 to 1.5 hours. It mostly cuts down combat to the narrated results and reduces table chatter and indecisiveness. It's a great way to experience the full campaign.
Critical Role Abridged is coming out 1 a week at a time on YouTube and 2 a week on Beacon. YouTube is currently up to episode 25. Beacon is up to episode 47. The AP is at episode 109. At some point you'll have to switch to full episodes to catch up.
Wiki:
There's also 2 world-class wikis where's you can look up extensive and meticulously cited information about anything you need. I prefer The Encyclopedia Exandria.
Viewing Notes:
An important thing to know about "continuity" in Critical Role is that it takes a more realistic view of how history is passed down through the ages and even dedicated academics will never know the full story or be fully correct. They know versions colored by in-world biases and lost knowledge.
Which is great for you the viewer because any campaign you comes into, the characters don't know most of what happened in past games. What they actually know will come up in game. The players have above table reactions and some subtle in jokes, but try not to act on meta knowledge.
It's structured a lot like reading one history book and then wanting to go back and read more about past events that set the stage for all those things to happen. They've tried to make it easier to come into the story happening now.
I certainly enjoyed watching the full APs from the beginning, and I think you can get a deeper understanding of the story from them, but it takes thousands of hours to catch up on the story that way and it isn't realistic for everyone. Each series builds on the consequences of past events more than they rely on unexpected twists, so already knowing what happens just helps you notice all the little things that led to them. Similar to how Shakespeare's plays are often more enjoyable to watch unfold if you already know the basic plot points going into them.
Happy viewing, and I hope this helps you or someone you know get into this very rich and interesting story!
#critical role#critical role meta#critical role campaign 1#the legend of vox machina#critical role campaign 2#critical role campaign 3#Youtube
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Oh shit, the reboot of Ranma 1/2 has begun airing on Netflix. I am here for this.
Like a lot of people with gender stuff, Ranma 1/2 was a major part of my formative years. It was the first anime I ever saw outside of dubbed TV broadcasts, before I really understood what anime was. And the first anime I liked so much that I ravenously devoured the manga it was adapting.
To this day, I often find myself thinking back to it. Ranma 1/2 had a lot to say about societally-enforced toxic masculinity, and also about intrinsic gender identity that doesn't change even when the body fails to match.
In a way, it was kind of ahead of its time. It came to us in a time when a lot of genderbending stuff was like, "Okay, if your body turns female, then you're a girl. If your body turns male, then you're a boy. Whatever your body looks like at the moment, that's your gender, those are your pronouns. Now let's come up with a cute little name for what we should call your opposite-gender self when you flip!"
But here was Ranma 1/2 saying, "Ranma Saotome is a man. It does not matter if his body is female or male; he is always a man at heart." He never misses an opportunity to correct people who misgender him - or to seek a cure for the gender dysphoria that his curse routinely inflicts on him.
But he also has extremely rigid beliefs about masculinity and femininity; Beliefs that cage him in a prison of his own mind. He's not ashamed, at times, to take advantage of his curse in order to indulge in things that men "are not allowed to do".
Small things like sitting around an ice cream parlor enjoying a sundae. Real Men (TM) don't eat ice cream! Ranma is proud of his masculinity, but is also a slave to it. He is proud of his gender identity regardless of the shape of his body, but nonetheless cross-dresses to escape from the gendered pressures he places on himself.
And he gave a lot of fans their trans awakening. For a lot of people, myself included, Ranma Saotome was their first experience with the idea that assigned-sex did not have to be the absolute truth of your identity. Many fans took tremendous inspiration from Ranma's curse, and carried their own interpretation of Ranma with them in their heart as they went.
The fandom is overflowing with transfem Ranmas and genderfluid Ranmas and nonbinary Ranmas, because that is what this character meant to the LGBT community of his day.
He may not have been perfect - In fact, when you get right down to it, he's basically just a macho cis regularly forced into drag for comedic effect; This is not Gay Shakespeare - but he left a mark on the community. He was a key that unlocked the identities of a lot of us.
So it's with both excitement and also a degree of trepidation that I say, "Welcome back to modern pop culture, Ranma 1/2."
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okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em
hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it
warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......
a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye
“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.”
“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.”
He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief.
“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.”
“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.”
The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication.
You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest.
“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.”
Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest.
“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.”
Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you.
“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.”
And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there.
The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.
You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?
It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday.
---------------------------------------------------
The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.
He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence.
“Can we talk?”
You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph.
“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?”
“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"
“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!”
The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth.
Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with.
“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.”
“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?”
His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins.
“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.”
“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.”
He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.
“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?”
“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad.
“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”
You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you.
“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.”
You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake.
After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered.
“Are you still mad at me?”
He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm.
“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.”
“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.”
He chuckles.
“At an entirely different university.”
“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”
While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident.
“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.”
“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?”
Spencer sighs.
“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.”
You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin.
“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.
Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected.
“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.”
But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you
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