#collision avoidance system

[navigatingthefutureofadas]

Navigating the Future of ADAS with Starkenn Technologies in India

Navigating the Future of ADAS with Starkenn Technologies

Introduction

Advanced Driver Assistance Systems (ADAS) play a pivotal role in enhancing road safety and revolutionizing the driving experience. Starkenn Technologies, a leading provider of indigenous ADAS solutions, is committed to delivering cutting-edge technologies that enhance safety, convenience, and efficiency on the roads. Let’s delve into the key aspects of ADAS and explore how Starkenn is shaping the future of automotive safety.

Understanding ADAS

An ADAS is a suite of technologies designed to assist drivers in safe vehicle operation. By leveraging automated technology such as sensors and cameras, ADAS detects nearby obstacles and driver errors, responding promptly to mitigate risks. These systems can enable various levels of autonomous driving, making roads safer for everyone.

Starkenn’s ADAS Solutions

1. Collision Warning System

Starkenn Safe Collision Warning System: This radar-based system senses the surroundings and detects possible collisions. It alerts and warns the driver just in time, even in challenging conditions like heavy rainfall, fog, or low visibility.

2. Collision Mitigation System

Starkenn Brake Safe Collision Mitigation System: An active safety system that engages Starkenn’s patented* Automatic Emergency Braking (AEB) mechanism in critical collision scenarios. It significantly reduces the risk of fatal accidents with minimal false alarms.

3. Driver Monitoring Systems

Starkenn Attention Driver Monitoring System: Using on-the-edge computer vision and AI, this in-cabin solution continuously monitors the driver. It detects distractions, drowsiness, and over-speeding, issuing audio-visual alerts. Starkenn’s ‘Made in India’ technology minimizes accidents due to human error.

4. Telematics Fleet Management

Stark-I Virtual Eye (Cloud Platform): This advanced analytics solution provides real-time vehicle information, including live location, trip data, accident details, and incident videos. Fleet managers gain insights to optimize driving behavior and collect accident evidence.

Unique Selling Points (USPs)

Competitive Pricing: Starkenn offers cost-effective ADAS solutions.

Made in India: Starkenn’s expertise lies in hardware, firmware, AI/ML, and IoT technologies.

Field-Proven Algorithmics: Starkenn’s systems are reliable and effective.

All-Weather Protection: Starkenn’s ADAS works seamlessly in diverse weather conditions.

Impact and Vision

Starkenn Technologies has already saved over 1200 lives and prevented more than 350 accidents with its ADAS solutions. As the adoption of ADAS grows, Starkenn aims to make roads safer for all by continuing to innovate and drive positive change.

For more information, visit Starkenn Technologies.

[sharpeagle-tech]

How a Collision Avoidance System Can Keep Your Fleet Safe?

The collision avoidance system emerges as an innovative technology with the primary objective of averting potential injuries and ensuring the safety of passengers. Undoubtedly, underscoring the significance of road safety is imperative in curbing the incidence of accidents resulting in harm. However, the utility of collision avoidance extends beyond the realm of highway-bound vehicles. 

One of its key applications in industrial context is related to forklifts operating within workplace environments. By adopting the anti-collision warning system, both the operators and the forklifts experience a heightened safety level.

Diverse workplaces encompassing factories, warehouses, construction sites, mining facilities, and shipyards are swiftly recognising the indispensable value of the collision warning system. Projections indicate a substantial increase in the worth of the forklift collision avoidance system by 2028. This technology's escalating significance might instigate companies' inquiries regarding how precisely the collision avoidance system can safeguard their fleets. 

Without further delay, let us embark on a journey into elucidating the operational mechanisms and merits of the collision avoidance system. 

How Does the Collision Avoidance System Work?

The fundamental objective of the collision avoidance system centres on averting collisions involving forklifts. This is achieved by integrating a collision detection system and a proximity alert module, which jointly furnish real-time location awareness to in-motion forklifts. Consequently, when two forklifts approach each other, an automatic reduction in speed or a complete halt occurs. 

This positioning awareness extends beyond forklift-to-forklift interactions and encompasses the interplay between pedestrians and forklifts. In scenarios where pedestrians manoeuvre around forklifts, the forklifts' velocity is diminished, and pedestrians receive timely notifications. The overarching goal is to establish a workplace environment that prioritises the safety of operators, pedestrians, and forklifts, all facilitated by accident prevention measures.

The collision avoidance system can be implemented for both pedestrians and vehicles, encompassing specialised equipment for pedestrians and fixed readers installed within vehicles. Pedestrians are alerted to their proximity to vehicles through the utilisation of high-frequency technology integrated into the vehicles. This system holds particular significance within loading zones frequented by trucks, forklifts, and other vehicles. As a testament to its emphasis on health and safety, the accident avoidance system continues solidifying its presence within the overarching regulatory frameworks companies adopt.

Anti-Collision System Specs

Quick-release thumb lever

Great for hearing-impaired personnel

The sensor Indicator Light glows blue when the sensor is activated.

Alert pedestrians when forklifts are crossing

Unit mounts up and out of the way.

No reflectors required

No expensive microwave sensors

Nothing attached to your forklifts

Low voltage wiring eliminates the need for conduit 12V transformer plugs into an overhead outlet power source.

Super bright LED lights with 100,000 hours of life

Sensors are factory pre-set monitors from inches to 35' away.

Sensor temperature ranges: -200C-800C

Red spot project on the ground

Injuries & fatalities as a result of forklift collisions can be eliminated.

An externally mounted optional universal transformer will handle incoming voltage from 277V to 12 V as required.

Indoor, outdoor, and cooler applications

Significant loss prevention benefits

Collision Avoidance System Between Forklifts

Utilising cutting-edge high-precision technology, the anti-collision warning system imparts precise location awareness to forklifts. Within this framework, predefined proximity thresholds are seamlessly integrated into the forklifts, orchestrating speed adjustments and halts based on these thresholds. The collision avoidance system employs a combination of visual cues and audible alerts to furnish vital information to operators, enabling them to navigate their vehicles with heightened safety awareness, especially when encountering neighbouring forklifts.

The synergy between artificial intelligence and this technology seamlessly functions across indoor and outdoor environments. Incorporating specialised map systems driven by artificial intelligence further enhances the operational scope within workplace premises. These systems can also impose certain restrictions within hazardous zones, ensuring enhanced safety protocols. 

Given that the crux of collision avoidance revolves around forklift safety, managerial oversight is facilitated through dedicated platform tools, allowing for comprehensive monitoring of forklift movements.

Collision Avoidance System Between Forklifts and Pedestrians

The central objective of this technology is to ascertain and manage the proximity between pedestrians and forklifts. When pedestrians traverse predefined safety thresholds, an integrated visual and auditory alert is activated, effectively cautioning pedestrians and forklift operators. This collision avoidance system proves particularly invaluable in areas with limited visibility, fostering heightened awareness and interaction between forklifts and pedestrians. In instances where pedestrians might not perceive the visual and auditory cues, the wearable equipment employs tactile vibrations as an additional alert mechanism.

Crucially, the effectiveness of this system is accentuated by the often noisy settings encountered in environments such as factories, shipyards, or warehouses. Moreover, the collision avoidance system plays a pivotal role in ensuring the safety of employees with visual or hearing impairments. The wearable devices can take the form of watches, badges, or cards suspended from lanyards, designed with a keen focus on comfort through their lightweight construction.

Key Benefits of Collision Avoidance System

Factory, warehouse, and shipyard environments abound with intricate passageways, sharp turns, intersections, and zones housing hazardous materials in concentrated quantities. Ensuring security within such operational landscapes is imperative for companies striving to cultivate a serene and gratifying workspace that is characterised by safeguarding personnel and assets.

The Collision avoidance system harnesses the prowess of artificial intelligence technologies to engender optimal safety within these dynamic work settings. Integrating emerging technologies into our operational fabric is an inescapable trajectory for corporate advancement. Adopting the collision avoidance system is a strategic imperative, positioned at the nexus of safety enhancement and cultivating a brand committed to staying abreast of contemporary developments.

The advantages presented by the Collision avoidance system encompass:

Zone-Centric Forklift Speed Regulation: This feature substantially diminishes accident risks within blind spots, narrow passages, and bustling zones by dynamically controlling forklift speeds.

360-Degree Proximity Sensing: Equipment fortified with comprehensive proximity sensing capabilities ensures the well-being of both forklift operators and pedestrians from all vantage points.

Versatile Wearable Equipment: Wearable gadgets and equipment, harmoniously integrated into forklifts, seamlessly operate indoors and outdoors; their resilience to environmental factors such as dust, dirt, and water guarantees uninterrupted performance.

Enabling Real-Time Forklift Tracking: Integrating systems that underpin the collision avoidance setup concurrently lays the groundwork for a real-time forklift tracking mechanism.

Proactive Safety Measures: Anticipating potential hazards, operational constraints can be enforced upon operators and pedestrians. Carrying specialised cards, they receive visual, auditory, and vibrational cues upon breaching these limitations.

How SharpEagle Helps

SharpEagle's Collision Awareness System (CAS) stands as an advanced early-warning solution designed to promptly notify equipment operators and pedestrians of potential collision risks with other vehicles. This innovative system significantly enhances operators' safety awareness, effectively mitigating vehicle-to-vehicle and vehicle-to-pedestrian collision risks. These commendable attributes have garnered recognition from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA).

The CAS uses precision-engineered predictive algorithms to evaluate critical parameters such as vehicle positioning, velocity, and trajectory within the monitored vicinity. This rigorous analysis ensures that alerts are triggered solely in the presence of genuinely perilous conditions, thereby minimising the occurrence of false alarms. The result is a system that fosters operators' unwavering trust by consistently delivering reliable alerts. This, in turn, elevates operators' overall situational awareness and bolsters their confidence in SharpEagle's CAS, thereby contributing to the establishment of an injury-free workplace ethos.

‍

FAQs What is the primary objective of the Collision Avoidance System?

The primary objective is to avert potential injuries and ensure the safety of passengers and operators, particularly in industrial contexts like warehouses, factories, and construction sites. ‍

How does the Collision Avoidance System work in industrial environments like warehouses or factories?

The system integrates a collision detection mechanism and a proximity alert module, providing real-time location awareness. It automatically slows down or halts forklifts when approaching other forklifts or pedestrians. ‍

How does the Collision Avoidance System contribute to safety between forklifts?

It uses high-precision technology to provide precise location awareness, with predefined proximity thresholds in forklifts that trigger speed adjustments and halts to prevent collisions. ‍

How does the system ensure safety between forklifts and pedestrians?

The system manages the proximity between pedestrians and forklifts, activating integrated visual and auditory alerts when safety thresholds are crossed. Wearable equipment for pedestrians may include tactile vibrations as additional alerts. ‍

What are the key benefits of implementing a Collision Avoidance System in such environments?

Benefits include zone-centric forklift speed regulation, 360-degree proximity sensing, versatile wearable equipment, real-time forklift tracking, and proactive safety measures. ‍

How does SharpEagle's Collision Awareness System enhance safety?

SharpEagle's system uses predictive algorithms to evaluate critical parameters like vehicle positioning and velocity. It provides reliable alerts to mitigate vehicle-to-vehicle and vehicle-to-pedestrian collision risks. ‍

How does the Collision Avoidance System align with contemporary safety regulations and advancements?

The system is increasingly being integrated into regulatory frameworks due to its effectiveness in preventing accidents, aligning with contemporary safety advancements and corporate safety commitments.

You can call us at +971-4-454-1054 or mail us at sales@sharpeagle.uk

[ijustwant2ride]

Motorcycle News: National Motorcycle Day and Radar Braking for Motorcycles.

Radar-Linked Brakes are a new safety innovation for motorcycles that use radar technology to help riders be safer Did you know there was a United States National Motorcycle Day?

Up Shift – National Motorcycle Day?!?!!! Did you know there was a United States National Motorcycle Day?  I did not until after it happened this year.  Turns out that the second Friday of each is now National Motorcycle Day. Do any other nations celebrate Motorcycling with a special day of recognition? My Take – I like this idea and the possibilities it could have for exposure of our passion.…

[artisticdivasworld]

You Can Lower Insurance Rates by using Technology

If you’re an independent trucker, you know insurance premiums can really cut into your bottom line. But there are actually ways to bring those rates down, and a lot of it has to do with the technology you invest in. Let’s talk about a few strategies that can make a real difference in lowering your insurance costs. One of the best tools out there for saving on premiums is telematics. These…

[chetanagp]

Growth & Valuation of the Collision Avoidance System Market

Collision Avoidance System market was valued at US$ 53.08Bn. in 2022 is expected to reach US$ 118.83 Bn. by the end of 2029 at a CAGR of 12.2% from 2022 to 2029.

[medicaldevicesindustrynews]

What is the Use of Ultrasonic Sensors in Autonomous Vehicles?

Have you ever questioned why car ultrasonic sensor information is vital? Car ultrasonic sensors have been utilized for the past two or three decades to guarantee precise car functioning. For instance, it is utilized by vehicles to check for parking locations and spot blind spots. In the era of autonomous cars and automotive IoT, cars are extremely dependent on ultrasonic sensor information to…

[akulride]

Electric SUV (Sports Utility Vehicle) Electric Yes (Automatic Dual Zone) Android Auto (Wireless), Apple Car Play (Wireless) Gravity gold matte, Midnight black pearl, Optic white ₹ 45.95 Lakh

[david843346]

Collision Avoidance System Market Size, Industry Share and Forecast 2035

research analysis on “Collision Avoidance System Market: Global Demand Analysis & Opportunity Outlook 2035” delivers a detailed competitors analysis and a detailed overview of the global collision avoidance system market in terms of market segmentation by application, technology, type, and by region.

Increasing Installation of Collision Avoidance System in Aircrafts to Promote Global Market Share of Collision Avoidance System

The global collision avoidance system market is estimated to grow majorly on account of the increasing adoption of advanced components in flights in order to avoid crashes. Lasers, cameras, radar, AI, GPS, and other devices are employed in the collision avoidance system. Some of these gadgets make driving more exhausting, while others help drivers reduce hazards and avoid collisions.  Additionally, these technologies aid in preventing collisions caused by the increase in air travel, which is anticipated to drive market expansion by the end of 2035. The most recent statistics show that there are more than 70 plane crashes worldwide each year.

Moreover, road collisions are increasing owing to the increase in traffic accidents, thus collision avoidance systems are required in order to prevent collisions. Furthermore, there has been a rising trend for autonomous vehicles that are operated through automated systems in order to perform various activities such as autonomous parking, braking, and others.  In addition, the rising adoption of these systems in commercial as well as passenger cars, as it will reduce the risk as a result of automated devices. As a result, it is anticipated that it is anticipated to accelerate market expansion throughout the projection period.

Some of the major growth factors and challenges that are associated with the growth of the global collision avoidance system market are:

Growth Drivers:

Increasing Construction Activities

Rising Implementation of Safety Regulations

Challenges:

The rising concern for the initial as well as the repair costs for the collision avoidance system is anticipated to restrain the growth of the market by the end of 2035. In addition, the system consists of different components such as GPS, camera, radar, and others that have high initial installation cost. Moreover, the repair costs of these components are also high, as they have to be kept updated with the new technologies. Moreover, there is a difficulty in detecting objects on the road or in the air owing to the bad weather conditions, which is further expected to hamper the growth of the global collision avoidance system market in the upcoming years.

Access our detailed report at: https://www.researchnester.com/reports/collision-avoidance-system-market/4892

By type, the global collision avoidance system market is segmented into adaptive cruise control, parking assistance, lane departure warning, autonomous emergency braking, and others. The parking assistance segment is anticipated to garner a highest revenue by the end of 2035 by growing at a significant CAGR over the forecast period. The segment is developing as a result of consumers' increasing struggles with basic parking. Additionally, owing to an increase in the population and the number of cars, parking spaces in big cities have either declined or stayed the same. Problems are particularly obvious in areas where there is a lack of inexpensive land, like in big cities where parking demand is rising. The primary reason for the market's growth is the rise in auto accidents. One out of every five car accidents worldwide occur in a parking lot or garage.

By region, the North America collision avoidance system market is predicted to generate the highest revenue by the end of 2035. The market's growth can be largely attributed to an increase in traffic incidents and accidents. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration predicts that 38,824 people were die in car accidents in the United States year 2022. On the other hand, more extensive bus deployment is anticipated to fuel the market growth in the region. By 2021, there were over 3,500 zero-emission buses operating in the United States, a 27% increase. Furthermore, there are important businesses in the area offering cutting-edge solutions for mid-air collisions, which is expected to boost the market's expansion there.

This report also provides the existing competitive scenario of some of the key players of the global collision avoidance system market which includes company profiling of Robert Bosch GmbH, Honeywell International Inc., Hexagon AB, DENSO Corporation, Siemens AG, Autoliv Inc., Becker Mining Systems AG, Wabtec Corporation, Delphi, General Electric Company, and Others.

Request Report Sample@ https://www.researchnester.com/sample-request-4892

[neetihtfmi]

Mining Operations Collision Avoidance System Market Getting Back To Stellar Growth Ahead:

A mining operations collision avoidance system is a technological solution designed to prevent collisions and accidents in mining environments. It utilizes various sensors, communication systems, and advanced algorithms to detect and mitigate potential collisions between mining vehicles, equipment, and personnel.https://www.htfmarketintelligence.com/report/global-mining-operations-collision-avoidance-system-market

[tbrcresearchreport]

The Business Research Company offers collision avoidance system market research report 2023 with industry size, share, segments and market growth

[drivebuddyai]

Fleet Manager’s Decision Making Capabilities Plays a Major Role in Enhancing your Fleet & Driver’s Safety

Managing fleet safety is a crucial task, an important responsibility as a lot depends upon it. With the number of vehicles increasing every day, the potential risk of road accidents as well as other safety hazards also tends to rise. In view of this, the role of the fleet managers ensuring the safety of their vehicles & drivers at all the times has become and will always be very vital. 

With more & more commercial vehicles and passengers falling prey to road accidents these days, it is vital to keep stringent driving and safety practices intact. Apart from the safety of your drivers & fleets, it is equally important to consider the safety of other vehicles and pedestrians on the road. Thus, this is where Fleet Safety Insights come into play. 

What are Fleet Safety Insights?  

In a nutshell, Fleet Safety Insights refer to the data driven insights that enable the fleet managers to make better decisions based on the actionable inputs they receive to improve and manage their drivers & fleets. 

The word ‘data insights’ might sound complex to you but it is the heart of technology as we know it. Fleet managers obtain these insights through various sources like driving behaviour, vehicle sensors, fleet GPS tracking as well as other external sources.

How drivebuddyAI assists Fleet Managers improve fleet & driver safety by using AI 

Artificial intelligence (AI) has the potential to revolutionize the way fleet managers make decisions and operate their fleet. By providing real-time data analysis and predictive capabilities, AI can help fleet managers make informed, data-driven decisions that can improve efficiency, reduce costs, and increase overall profitability.

To increase your fleet manager’s capabilities, giving them access to AI-powered technology is imperative. It will surely make their job easily manageable. Here is how drivebuddyAI’s ADAS (Advanced Driver Assistance System) makes the difference.

Advanced Driver Assistance Systems (ADAS) are becoming increasingly reliable because of their results in world of fleet management as a way to improve safety on the roads. drivebuddyAI’s ADAS cameras captures in-cabin videos, roadside videos and surroundings, providing valuable visual information that can help fleet managers make informed decisions about routing, safety, and other important factors. In addition, an ADAS camera also provides data on vehicle speed, braking, and other performance metrics that can help fleet managers optimize their operations.

Four significant ways through which drivebuddyAI ADAS improve your Fleet Manager’s decision making: 

Provide Real-Time Alerts & Notifications: Real-time alerts are one of the most effective ways of creating transparency between the fleet managers & the fleet drivers. drivebuddyAI gives fleet managers real-time alerts regarding potential risk to the safety on the road. These alerts include warnings for speeding, hard braking, sudden accelerations, signal breaks, lane departures and other hazardous driving behaviours. 

Enhance your Driver's Performance: driverbuddyAI ADAS deeply analyzes your driver’s driving behaviour and provides core insights on it. This includes data on the driving habits, fuel consumption and other key parameters like drowsiness detection, distraction alerts and phone usage alerts. This also allows the fleet managers to take driver coaching into consideration if required. 

Improve Fleet’s Route Planning: drivebuddyAI ADAS cameras collect real-time traffic data and other roadside data to help fleet drivers and managers to improvise their route planning. A major and primary impact of this is reducing fuel consumption, emission and other fleet operational costs. Improving your route planning also helps in collision avoidance and prevents unnecessary risks on the road. 

Optimisation of Vehicle Maintenance: Maintaining your fleet is equally important as a well-maintained vehicle ensures more safety. A fleet manager could use data analytics to determine the optimal time to perform maintenance on a vehicle based on its usage history and make data driven decisions for its future usage. This could also help in reducing costly downtime and to improve the overall efficiency of the fleet. 

To conclude, drivebuddyAI’s ADAS camera is a powerful tool that can help fleet managers make the right decisions to ensure the safety of their drivers and fleets. drivebuddyAI's real-time alerts and notifications, enhanced driver performance, improved route planning, and optimized vehicle maintenance capabilities, has helped fleet managers improve their fleet’s operations and reduce the risk of accidents and other safety hazards by making better decisions for the all.

[sharpeagle-tech]

Forklift Safety Cameras- A Potential Requirement in Warehouses and Storehouses

From decades ago, forklift operations have never been an easy task! Due to heavy loading, forklift operators tend to make blunders, which in turn leads to accidents and damage.

As a warehouse/storehouse manager, it would become a vital requirement to reduce such accidents, if not avoided. However, even if one considers intensive training, strategic hires, and equipment upgrades as significant steps taken, ‘Vision’ still remains the biggest challenge for the operators. The reach of forklift operators to visualize where they are and to verify mishandling of products is of utmost importance, failing which it would lead to serious damage of products, equipment and the worse, to people.

Image Source: https://www.oeattachments.com/reduce-forklift-accidents-with-the-forklift-information-system/

Wireless forklift camera is one of the excellent instruments which permit the operator to have different views around the lift truck. Its installation is absolutely simple and can be employed in the front, back, sides or anywhere around the lift truck where visibility is limited. Forklift safety Cameras contribute directly to increased visibility and thus an increase in productivity.

➢ It helps operators at warehouses to deal with a number of forklift concerns such as:

• High and low racking heights

‍• Double-deep racking

‍• Reading product and rack levels

‍• Indoor and outdoor lighting

‍• Video recording of human resources, product verification, and management and training opportunities.

‍

Enhance Warehouse safety and reduce misses with SharpEagle forklift camera system!

Reach Out to Us

‍➢ The forklift camera system also works well with any kind of operational or attachment tasks, to list a few:

• Push pulls that push the load on cardboard

‍• Roll handling for paper and sheet metal

‍• Turret trucks with forks that swing in different ways

‍• Side Shifting Fork Position attachments (SSFP)• Clamps Read more: Forklift Safety Solutions for the Supply Chain and Warehousing Sector

➢ Having said that let's list out the impact and certain benefits of wireless forklift cameras for Warehouses/storehouses:

1. Improves Productivity:

Even the most experienced forklift operator experiences fatigue in the time spent analyzing to see behind and around the forklift. Wireless forklift cameras help in visualizing the entire field without letting the operator change its position, thus reducing neck and back strain and increasing productivity and force.

‍2. Eradicate Trial and Error Time:

The capability to see through the forklift safety cameras and to analyze where the forks fit well, certainly reduces repetitive trial and error time. At the same time, it also reduces the risk of damaging products, as operators have a clear view of where and how the forks are being placed.

‍3. Reduces Staffing:

Given that wireless forklift cameras provide clear visibility, it can help avoid hiring a guide to assist the forklift operator, thus reducing manpower.

‍4. Zeal for Young Operators:

Hiring new forklift operators can often be challenging. However, forklift cameras create a fun and interactive experience for the youths who can identify with the ‘video game connection’ they experience from operating a forklift.

So gear up to upgrade your forklift operations with forklift camera system and having any difficulties, do connect with us at www.sharpeagle.uk, for we believe in having a solution for all your forklift safety camera needs.

SharpEagle strives to make industrial atmospheres safe and secure with our state-of-the-art products and services. By using top-quality safety products, we ensure your site is highly secure and continues to perform tasks with utmost efficiency. Our product range includes Forklift Safety Solutions and Forklift Safety Lights. We have expanded our horizon to 8 countries including UAE, Saudi Arabia, Oman, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and the UK. Want to safeguard your site from unnecessary hazards? Connect with us to stay clear of such mishaps.

Why choose the Sharpeagle forklift safety system?

You can also call us at +971-45549547 or mail us at sales@sharpeagle.uk

[yurozo]

resident evil headcanons (restaurant au)

characters: leon, chris, jill, claire, rebecca, ada, luis, carlos, wesker. a/n: this was created as a joke between me and my friends that completely spiralled out of control. maybe the stupidest au i've ever created. wesker and friends hit me up if you wanna use this warnings: vulgar language. sorry, i'm canadian, we swear a lot here.

chris redfield (bartender): he's one of the first hires, and has been working as the head bartender forever. he absolutely loves to lowkey trauma dump on customers unknowingly, only to shake the mixer after just to avoid the awkward silence. the owner has had to move the tv's out of the way of the bar because chris will only look at the screen and fuck up every single drink during a big game. refuses leon everytime he tries to come up to the bar for drinks. he knows when it's him, leon always tries to input it in the system as a customer order for a table that isn't occupied, but he always orders his whiskey in a very specific way that outs him. chris will pour it out in front of him to make a point. he eventually had to make a memo about not letting leon take drinks from the bar anymore. to customers, he is every older woman's wet dream. he knows that flexing his biceps will rake him in more tips, so he does it often. also does it when women are being hit on by creepy men to scare them away. the night that he wears tight turtlenecks are his big paycheck days. chris will never admit that he likes when people squeeze his arms. chris is the guy that everyone has a crush on when they first start working there, it's basically an initiation rite at this point. he's the friendliest one of the bunch and gives wholesome big bro vibes and it makes him absolutely irresistible to new hires. (x reader) if you're working alongside chris in the bar, prepare to constantly run into him. he's a massive guy, and maneuvering around a little bar with that hunk is near impossible without a couple collisions. after a while, he's learned to put a gentle hand on your back whenever he has to move behind you, all for the sake of "workplace safety". he loves to sneak food from the kitchen and share it with you, but this man eats like a horse. like the chefs are genuinely surprised on how much food this man can physically fit inside his body, but he will always leave a portion for you. it takes him a long time to make a move because he's afraid of ruining your friendship and workplace relationship. leon kennedy (server): he got hired a little after everyone else, and got put onto the waitstaff because of his looks. however, this man is super awkward with patrons despite being super popular with older women. he's always getting propositions to get set up with someone's daughter and he always unknowingly shoots them down. (customer: "you're really cute, leon: "ok.") he always makes little jokes to lighten the mood and it is an instant vibe killer. the only people who like them are the old ladies who think he's cute, and dads who genuinely think he's funny.

as for the whiskey incident, leon has tried multiple times to pretend being a bartender when chris is on break to sneak himself a drink. he claims that it makes him better at serving, but three broken trays and countless shattered glasses say otherwise.

leon does have kind of a blank expression when patrons try and get him to cut them deals or do stuff for them. he will immediately go back and scream by himself in the freezer after a difficult customer interaction. has cried silently in the freezer after food got in his hair. (x reader) leon always smells like american crew hair pomade, and always showers himself in cologne on shifts he knows he's working with you. you smiled at him one time in the middle of a rush and he had to sit on the curb to collect himself. leon has a horrible tendency to get distracted whenever you're in his general vicinity, and will completely ignore customers whenever you walk by with literal hearts in his eyes. he's one of the fastest people to make a move, mostly because he lacks any form of subtlety. he always offers to drive you home, always offers to take you out to dinner after work like you already don't work in food service, and always keeps something in his bag for you. he loves to lowkey fuck with you on shifts, like putting an ice cube down your shirt to make you pay attention to him. jill valentine (hostess):

another og worker, and the most no-nonsense of them all, especially with customers. if the wait time is thirty minutes, then you're waiting thirty goddamn minutes. she does not care who you supposedly know. she has gotten a couple writeups for visibly rolling her eyes when large parties come in without a reservation. jill demands a break every thirty minutes to sit with chris on the curb while he smokes a cigarette. she calls it her mental health breaks.

pointedly does not listen to leon when he asks her to stop seating people in her section. her favourite past-time is to seat all the old women obsessed with him at his tables to watch him flounder. also gives leon's number out to people who try and hit on her at the job. she's also the only person who can scare the owner, so jill gets away with a lot more than most people. her and carlos often hang out after shifts to drink beer and play pool. her and claire have regular girls nights where jill's convinced into facemasks and terrible movies that only have a one star rating on whatever pirated movie website claire pays for. (x reader) every attempt you make to ask her on a date goes completely over her head. it's only at chris' intervention that she finally gets the hint and takes you out to dinner. she ends up having her own shelf of stuff at your apartment within a week, and she's more than happy to drive you to work everyday. if you have a pet, prepare for jill to come over to spoil it rotten and feign ignorance when you confront her about it. another victim of the 'takes extra long to get ready on shifts you work together'. she knows you like her arms, so she's wearing short sleeves or tanks whenever she has the opportunity, and silently preens in your attention. carlos, (line cook):

without a doubt, the line cooks are the vibe bringers of the restaurant. carlos always takes a hit off his dab pen before coming in, because he claims it makes his cooking taste better. he always gives food to the female servers at any given opportunity, and pretends to not know what the male servers are talking about when they bring it up. (is the reason for 90% of the memos regarding workplace behaviour).

carlos always smells like old spice and food, and there is almost nothing that could break his good mood during a shift. he really is just happy to be there. he's very particular on how the freezer is organized, but loved to label the items wrong to piss off the others (spinch). his mother taught him how to cook, so he has a dedicated dish named after her. carlos always comps her meals when she comes in and doesn't tell anybody about it.

as for the other employees, carlos torments them. he loves to play his own music in the kitchen but has a wildly inappropriate taste for work music. chris banned him from the speaker officially after only playing doja cat for three hours. however, him and luis love to carpool and play brazilian funk with all the windows rolled down at max volume. those two are not allowed to work together too much. he also has a mobile game rivalry with leon, so anytime carlos is missing from the kitchen, you'll find him in the bathroom on his phone. just follow the shitty iphone game music.

(x reader) in all honesty, carlos is the man that's hooked up with the most employees. the mans charm is undeniable. but he has a particular soft spot when it comes to you-- you get to taste-test every dish, there's always a nice cold glass of water waiting for you, and carlos will take the fall for every fuckup at your table. he'll introduce you to his mom when she comes in, but is secretly terrified at how well the two of you get along. don't even get him started on bringing his siblings into the place, he would never hear the end of it. carlos received another memo after engaging in too much pda at work after the two of you got together.

claire redfield (waitress):

one of the main reasons for all the positive google reviews. it's not that she's naturally a super bubbly person, but claire knows how to turn it on and off when her shift starts. jill puts most of the families in her section since claire has a natural gift with kids. however, she is extremely biased when it comes to the food. her face always tells you exactly what she thinks of a dish.

since chris is always within eyesight of her, whenever difficult customers give her problems, she loves to sic chris on them. even just having him stand behind her is enough to give her leverage over someone trying to haggle on a bill. and with carlos' willingness to give food to pretty girls, she never goes hungry during a shift. the girl has her whole shift figured out on a system. she also knows exactly when the lull in service is going to be so she can take extended bathroom breaks.

out of everyone, she's the one to organize after-work hangouts, whether by putting gentle reminders into the group chat, or straight up bullying people to come (ie. jill). everyone always knows when she pulls up from the sound of her engine, but she refuses to let anyone on it. especially luis or leon, for insurance reasons.

(x reader) this girl has the uncanny ability to know what you need, and when you need it. forgot an iced tea for table 20? it's already in her hand on the way. it's her nice little way of showing what a good girlfriend she would be, that she can anticipate your needs. for every group hangout, you are the first person she texts and the primary benefactor of the tips she makes. claire is a no bullshit kind of woman, and when she wants you, you will know. she'll always ask you to hang out, always compliment how you look, tell you constantly how good you are at your job. maybe she'll let you ride behind her on the motorcycle just for the excuse of having your arms around your waist, and does that hot thing where she rubs your arms with her thumb at red lights.

rebecca chambers (head waitress):

dear old rebecca, truly the glue holding everything together. she's incredibly sweet to customers, and to most of the employees. the only reason the floor runs properly is her by the book attitude and highly perceptive personality. nothing is getting by rebecca. she's leon's number two nemesis for being able to drink on the job, and chris' number one nemesis for smoking outside. this woman has the nose of a bloodhound when someone is about to do something stupid.

despite her appearance, everyone is afraid to make her angry. she's lost her shit a total of one time, but it was enough for everyone to be on their best behaviour. she does have a tendency to make passive aggressive comments with such a sickly sweet smile on her face, that you won't even realize she insulted you until long after she's walked away.

least favourite part of the job? she is a hit with old men. they can never leave her alone. second least favourite part? finding ways to sneak vitamins into certain employees food so they can live to see another day. the way that some of the others operate is enough to give her grey hairs.

(x reader) rebecca is intelligent and ambitious, and more than willing to make sacrifices when it comes to you. she's more than happy to take the fall on a screwup if it gets you out of it, wanting nothing more than your smile in return. her main tactic of getting to know you is inviting you over to watch movies, inconspicuously of course, so she can ask you questions over the whole thing. overall, she's an acts of service girl, but is much more subtle about it than claire is. you need a meal prep plan? she's your woman. she wants nothing more than to take care of you, to make your life as easygoing as possible. but the true way to her heart is any form of baked goods. if you make a habit of bringing her pastries before a shift, she's putty in your hands.

ada wong, (head chef):

this woman, god help her, has the hardest job out of them all. not only does she have to babysit her two line cooks, but she's also responsible for cleaning up all the fuckups the waitstaff make. her saving grace is the fact that everyone else is terrified of her, creating a wide berth every time she picks up a knife. everyone can always hear her scolding carlos in the kitchen, who just brushes it off with a laugh.

despite the chaos of a kitchen, ada has the impeccable ability to never get food on herself. even after the dinner rush there is not a single hair out of place, looking just as perfect as when she started. every ingredient is measured precisely, every fda standard met and upheld-- pretty much the counterforce to carlos and luis. secretly, she loves when carlos has control of the speaker, but she would rather die than admit it.

the second an overcomplicated modification comes in, the temperature of the kitchen immediately drops. why the hell does she pore over a menu just for some middle-aged man to think he knows better than her? despite her no-nonsense attitude, she does secretly love fucking with leon. only luis knows about her secret tinder account that she catfished leon on with some fake woman in romania.

(x reader) ada is a woman in tune with herself, in tune with what and who she wants. the second she gets attached, she will display clear favouritism. every new recipe she tries is given to you for taste-testing, claiming that you will always give her the truth. it's a lie, she just like seeing the grin on your face when you enjoy it. if anyone asks her about it, she will vehemently deny it, claiming that you're the only one competent enough at your job. her asking you out is more of a demand than it is a question: this place, this time, wear that dress you know i like. she's not huge fan of pda at the workplace, but she'll always give you that look that screams, just wait until i get my hands on you later.

luis sera (line cook):

this man does not operate on a recipe, he operates on la pasion. really, it just means the foods always a tad spicier than it should be. he also sings obnoxiously loud in the kitchen, to the point that patrons can hear it if they're seated close enough. this man obeys ada for the most part, but he's honestly never touched a measuring cup in his life. he'll stop pouring when his ancestors tell him to stop pouring. however he has the uncanny ability to know exactly when meat is within three degrees of whatever temp they need it cooked to.

the waitstaff either love him or hate him. luis playfully flirts with everyone in his line of sight. who could blame him? he's stuck in a kitchen all day and everyone at this restaurant is unbearably attractive. mostly, he just likes seeing their reactions. leon adamantly begs claire to fetch his plates from the kitchen for him, because luis calls him prince charming every time, and leon hates it.

there's a rumour going around that he got drunk after a shift and made out with another employee, but no one knows who it is. there's a restaurant-wide betting pool on potential victims. also, since luis is the only person who knows about the catfish incident, he loves to ask leon innocuous question while feigning innocence about the whole thing. he's just really invested in his love life, he swears.

(x reader) if you think the flirting is bad towards leon, just wait until he catches an eyeful of you. it is a nonstop barrage of witty compliments, offers to go dancing (or clubbing), and pick-up lines that were definitely picked up off the internet. he's a suave guy, don't get me wrong, but he most definitely gets too many of his ideas from old romance novels. at some point he gives up, telling you straight that he wants to take you out, for reals, and cook you a nice home-cooked meal. maybe some wine. maybe more, if you'll let him. luis is another person who displays clear favouritism, and tries to convince ada into naming a dish after you. it has a horribly cheesy name, but it tastes wonderful and he loves shooting you a wink every time you see him making it (he always makes that dish more carefully than any of the others).

wesker (manager):

this man bought the damn place in a last ditch attempt to save himself from bankruptcy, and unknowingly entangled himself into the lives of the dumbest twenty year olds he's ever met in his life. the only person that he kind of tolerates is ada, because she runs that kitchen like it's the military, and he can respect how batshit terrifying she is. he has a particular vendetta against chris for reasons he can't name, but since chris brings in a lot of money, he can't really refuse. he mostly gets that frustration out by pinning things on chris that leon most definitely did.

he's rarely seen on the actual floor, usually just hanging in the back on the computer doing whatever the fuck he does. (he's playing farmville, but no one knows it's him because of a pseudonym. he also does not know how to turn the music off so if you stand at the right position outside the door you can hear it.)

when he is seen out on the floor, he's wearing the most obnoxious sunglasses and leather jacket known to man, and stalks around the bar to watch for mistakes. you know you fucked up around wesker when there's a sneer on his face. the place almost got robbed once, and wesker threw a punch so fast that everyone stopped trying to piss him off after that.

(x reader) truthfully, he doesn't act too much different around you. it takes months to catch onto the little quirks that show his softness-- just a slight ease in his eyebrow, a softer pitch when addressing you directly. he'll still chew you out for mistakes, but he forgets about it long before he'll let anyone else slide. if things did eventually progress between the two of you, that manager's office is staying locked.

thank y'all for reading! this ended up being way longer than i thought it was going to be lol.

[inbabylontheywept]

Tactical Sulking

The human ship started the conversation by dumping all of its magazines into blackhole Kepler 92A. The PDC depleted their reserves within two minutes and the spinal mount took about twice as long. It would have been an impressive display of firepower if the Attali didn’t know for a fact that even a direct hit from any of the rounds would fail to punch through their hull. 

So instead of worrying they watched with the kind of morbid fascination that adults get while watching a child have a tantrum in public. They watched the ship light up, shitting ton after ton of tungsten coated iron into the corpse of a dead star until at last they ran out of ammo. Then and only then did the Attali send a second message over:

Are you quite finished? 

The response came back immediately. 

Gimme a moment, I’m just finishing a little math problem. But yeah, if it’s urgent, I can talk to you. What’s up big man? 

The Attali barely spent a second parsing over the message. They’d seen human bravado before. 

We sent you a request to surrender, acknowledging that none of your weapons are strong enough to pierce our hull. You opened fire on a blackhole for about five consecutive minutes. Tantrums and sulking do not impress us. 

The human ship took a moment to respond. 

Well, that’s a pity. The two things I’m best at are tantrums and sulking. The third is juggling, but in zero-g that’s… well. Easy. We could host a little talent show here though, if that would impress you. 

Are you going to discuss your terms of surrender, or are we going to have to kill you?

There was a longer pause before the ship replied back.

You know, a minute or two ago, that would’ve been a very scary threat, but you’ve got about ten seconds before shooting us becomes a mutual suicide. We’d strongly discourage that route. 

The Attali commander actually rolled his eyes. 

It’ll take a minute to charge our capacitors. I can promise it won’t be painful. Your bullshitting is a credit to

The message was cut off as a swarm of something ripped through the lower quadrant of the ship. The targeting sensors lost their minds - the projectiles were coming out of the blackhole. 

What the fuck. 

Main thruster was down, as were the nav lines. He had enough presence of mind to direct the side PDC, using recoil to push out of the line just in time to avoid the brunt of another burst of fire. A standard human ferroslug was caught by the lidar, but it was moving so close to C that instrument error was putting it at superluminal.

A second burst of mini rounds blew past the ship. They didn’t catch the brunt like they did the first time, but the stragglers in the burst tore through what remained of engineering. Casualty estimates in that quadrant went past 60% as the capacitor bank blew out, shorting out the main power conduit to their weapon systems. 

Without even PDC recoil to steer, they’d have been trapped, forced to take barrage after barrage of mysterious black hole bullets, if the human ship hadn’t taken the time to intervene. 

It rammed their craft. 

It was not a combat ram. It was a 15 mph collision that gradually turned up the gas. The little human ship chugged along, nudging the Attali cruiser out of the way, avoiding the next barrage by a mere 500 meter gap. 

It shouldn’t have been possible for a ship to look smug, but it did. 

The Attali sent the first message over. Telecom still worked. Life support was running on fumes, but of course the luxury systems were fine. 

What the hell was that? 

Gravity assisted munitions, the human ship replied immediately. The Attali captain had the damndest sense that they’d typed that in minutes ago and were just waiting to hit the send command. 

He took a moment to parse that.

The bullets weren’t being fired into the blackhole. They were being fired very, very close to it. Enough to slingshot around with stolen momentum. 

It was a stupid, stupid trick. And yet. 

What now? he asked. 

Well, the human ship replied. It was awful nice of you to not just kill us on sight. I suppose we could return the favor. Feel like surrendering today? 

There was a long, long pause from the Attali ship as the captain attempted to swallow his pride. The task was not made easier when, a few seconds later, another message came in. 

Chop chop. Tantrums and sulking do not win wars. *Exceptions may apply.*

[morelikeravenbore]

Can I Make It Any More Obvious?

Sk8erboi!Sebastian meets Ballerina!Aurélie, part one.

(Or: my slow descent into madness via a sk8er boi x notebook crackfic au.)

Inspired by the girlies in the writing server, thanks for the sk8er boi brain rot. I don't know why I'm writing this and I have absolutely NO IDEA where it's heading.

Content: MODERN AU. 🛹 It's 2002 and Sk8er Boi is rockin' up MTV. 🛹 Sebastian is an idiot (affectionate). 🛹 Sebastian thinks he's good at skateboarding but is secretly a nerd. 🛹 Basically Canon!Sebastian with a skateboard. 🛹 Yes I squeezed in a reference to my favourite Notebook scene. 🛹 Yes there will be more Notebook references. 🛹 Part two when? Who knows. 🤙🤙🤙

Warnings: SFW. Non graphic mentions of blood/head wound.

Word count: 2.6k

👉 PART TWO HERE.

[read on wattpad]

Wizarding folk, among which Sebastian was usually proud to include himself, had a distinct fondness for cobblestones. Great for aesthetics, sure: nothing screamed eccentric magical village quite like alarmingly uneven roads — but what worked for aesthetics was absolutely shite for skateboarding.

That's right. Skateboarding.

Luckily, Sebastian was a wizard — and quite a gifted one at that — and though his professors from his Hogwarts days would likely argue that inventing a hovering charm specifically to ride a Muggle skateboard over otherwise un-skateable terrain was a waste of his talents, he was inclined to disagree — especially now, as he hurtled down the main street of Hogsmeade, dodging carts, villagers and stray cats at speeds that rivalled the newest model of the Firebolt.

No, far from a waste of time, this was undoubtedly the most impressive use of his magical prowess since he'd successfully cast the Torture Curse on the first go.

That is until a Thestral-drawn carriage pulled out right in front of him.

‘Fuck —!’

For all the time and effort he'd put into developing his hovering charm, he'd neglected to install an emergency braking system.

Swerving hard to avoid collision, he heel-flipped upwards, accidentally performed his signature mid-air 360 Great-Merlin Kickflip over the top of the carriage, then rail-flipped off a lamppost before launching skyward again.

Choosing to ignore the fact that he'd just performed the best tricks of his life while careening uncontrollably through the air, Sebastian let out a great ‘Yeeeeew!’ of triumph — but the sheer force of his excitement threw him sharply off balance. Wobbling precariously atop the board, arms flapping like an overfed Diricaw trying to outrun a diet plan, he tried to regain control —

But it was no use.

He hit the ground, whacked his head on something hard — a bloody cobblestone, probably — and rolled neatly across the way before the great double doors of the Three Broomsticks finally ended his epic wipeout.

Groaning miserably, he rolled onto his back to find two blurry faces peering down at him with mirrored expressions of shock.

‘Are you alright?’ they asked in perfect unison.

Blinking rapidly, Sebastian's entire world flipped on its axis (er, again) as the face of the prettiest girl he'd ever seen came into stunning, albeit upside-down relief: backlit by the summer sun, a halo of auburn hair framed a pair of eyes so piercingly blue that he was sure they saw into his soul.

Fuck, he was dead, wasn't he? He was dead and this vision of beauty above him was an angel come to take him away to — ah, fuck fuck fuck! Death by malfunctioning magical skateboard was not how he'd planned to go out!

He scrambled gracelessly to his feet.

‘Shit,’ he replied, flicking his swishy hair out of his eyes. ‘I mean — fuck. Hello — shit, you're pretty.’

Taken aback, the girl's orphic eyes widened in alarm.

‘Did you — are you hurt?’

Sebastian swayed on the spot. ‘Who, me?’ He tried to chuckle, but nonchalance was difficult with a head wound. ‘Yeah, I'm fiiiine — completely, totally fine… Never been better, actually. Feel amazing. Best ride of my life.’

Her gaze lingered on his forehead. ‘You're bleeding…’

‘Am I?’ He definitely was — he could feel it. ‘S'alright, happens all the —’

A very disorienting moment later, Sebastian found himself in the back room of the Three Broomsticks with a cold rag pressed to his head and a very irate barkeeper clicking her tongue in disapproval.

‘Skateboarding!’ Sirona tutted. ‘Right through the middle of Hogsmeade! What were you thinking?’

But Sebastian wasn't thinking. At least, not about anything but startling blue eyes.

‘Wasn't,’ he muttered thickly. ‘Where girl?’

He stood up; Sirona shoved him back down.

‘Sebastian, you've got a bloody great gaping wound on your head!’ she scolded, holding him down by the shoulders. ‘I've called for the Healer —’

‘Fuck the Healer.’ He stood up again, swiping his bloody forehead with the back of his hand. Just a scratch. He'd be fine.

‘Oh for the love of —’ Catching him by the sleeve before he could stumble for the exit, Sirona levelled him a look she usually reserved for unruly patrons who’d indulged in too much firewhisky. ‘The girl who brought you here — while you were semi-conscious and incoherent, might I add — is eating lunch in the corner booth. But behave yourself, will you?’ she called after him as he wrenched out of her grip. ‘She's French!’

Sebastian liked Sirona — really, he did; she was the only villager who let him practise his kickflips out the back of the Three Broomies without calling the authorities — but right now he'd push her off a cliff if she got in the way of him and the girl.

Still unsteady on his feet, he barrelled into the tavern proper, where the lunch hour was in full swing and the smell of ale and shepherd's pie made his head spin. He made for the corner booth, flattening his hair with his hands and praying to Merlin above that he didn't look as fucked up as he felt — but his heart dropped when he found the booth occupied not by a dainty little redhead girl but by a group of menacing-looking warlocks tucking into a pig's head for lunch.

Shit.

He spun around. Maybe it was the concussion speaking, but he had the most awful, gut-wrenching feeling that if he never saw her again, terrible things would happen.

He had to see her again.

Scanning the crowd with increasing desperation, he was just about to accost Sirona for more details when he caught a flash of long, red hair slipping through the exit. He dashed across the room, chasing that swishy hair the way a bull charges after a Matador.

‘Hey!’ he called out, skidding through the doorway and into the sunlit street beyond. ‘Hey, wait!’

Frantic, he pushed through a group of disgruntled old ladies, jumped over a very startled cat and almost lost his footing again as he hurtled down the road, this time driven not by magically charmed skateboard but sheer desperation.

‘Hi,’ he panted when he finally caught up to her.

The girl cast him a sideways glance.

‘Oh, look,’ she said with a melodic French accent, ‘it's my new husband.’

Sebastian stumbled over another cobblestone.

‘I — what?’

‘You must've hit your head quite hard indeed if you don't remember professing marriage to a complete stranger.’

He stopped dead in his tracks. Was she joking?

‘I didn't,’ he said, aghast.

‘You did,’ she returned, flashing a wry grin over her shoulder as she walked on.

He hurried after her. ‘Fuck, I'm — I'm sorry, I hit my head really hard.’

‘Oh, so you're revoking your marriage proposal?’

‘No —! I mean, yes, but — I don't even know your name.’

‘Hmm.’ She stopped to peer interestedly at the window display of Tomes and Scrolls. ‘Makes our engagement a bit awkward, no?’

Sebastian could only gape wordlessly as she drifted gracefully into the bookstore.

‘Hang on.’ He dumped his board at the door and lumbered in after her. ‘You said yes?’

The girl pressed her lips together in suppressed amusement. ‘I said I'd think about it. – Bonjour!’ she added, greeting Mr Brown so sweetly that the shopkeeper's usually surly countenance brightened like he'd swallowed his sun. Sebastian wondered if he, too, looked equally as ridiculous as he followed her down the nearest aisle…

Likely he did.

He didn't really care.

‘You'd think about it?’ he whispered, lowering his voice as a show of respect to the books crammed into the overstuffed shelves on either side of them.

Though he'd be hesitant to admit it aloud to anyone (lest the truth ruin the bad boy persona he'd been carefully cultivating for many years), Sebastian was at his happiest when surrounded by books. No longer having access to the Hogwarts library since he’d graduated a year prior, he'd taken to visiting Tomes and Scrolls so often that Mr Brown, a fervent bibliophile and an avid sesquipedalian, had given him a part-time job and leased him the shoebox flat on the second floor, ‘...since you refuse to cease importuning me with your quotidian ritual of perambulating about my pulchritudinous premises!’

Crammed with books but bereft of furniture, the tiny, two-roomed flat was dingey, draughty and, judging by the thick layer of dust that’d greeted him on his arrival, hadn't had a living soul cross its threshold since 1892 — but it sure beat living with Solomon in Feldcroft: the only thing his uncle hated more than Sebastian's boards was Sebastian himself, and though piles of books didn't offer much in the way of conversation on those long nights alone in his flat, at least they'd never called him a good-for-nothing waste of space nor gotten so black-out drunk they’d passed out in the middle of the living room for several days. 

No, when it came to companionship, Sebastian generally preferred the fictional sort.

Today, though, squeezed between the narrow aisles with a girl whose radiance rendered him dumber than a flobberworm, Sebastian wouldn't have noticed if the books became sentient, grew papery legs and performed a perfectly choreographed flash dance in the village square. Deep in the reverential hush of the bookstore, they could have been the only two people in the world.

‘Well, you seemed so terribly earnest about us getting married…’ mused the girl, trailing delicate fingers over book spines and blurbs. ‘And I didn't want to hurt your feelings when you were injured. And then the barkeeper came —’

‘— Sirona.’

‘Oui. And you asked her to prepare us a wedding suite.’

Sebastian stared at her. ‘I can't tell if you’re joking or if you’re just…’

‘French?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Mm,’ she said simply, and it was only when she looked him over did he become horrifying aware of his state of dishevelment: his grey hoodie was caked in dirt, there was a new tear in his jeans that he hadn't artfully produced on purpose, and when he glanced at his reflection in a nearby glass cabinet, he was shocked by how much blood was smeared across his forehead.

This was not Sebastian's first head wound. It was, however, his most mortifying.

And yet, for reasons he couldn’t fathom, this angelic girl, with her silk blouse and balletic gait, wasn’t running from him, threatening to hex him, or even regarding him with the slightest bit of ridicule. In fact, unless the knock to his brain had skewed his ability to accurately interpret social cues, she rather seemed to be enjoying his company.

Or at the very least, she found him amusing.

He could work with amusing.

When she disappeared down the next aisle, he steeled his nerves, cast a (mostly useless) cleaning charm over his scraggly appearance, and followed after her again — only this time, with the strategic use of his signature swagger in full swing, the effect of which usually left hoards of girls swooning in his wake.

He tousled his hair.

‘Anyway,’ he began, confident, suave, assured, ‘I'm Sebas —’

‘— Sebastian Sallow,’ she said, not looking up from the book she was perusing. ‘I know, you told me earlier. You also told me your age, your middle name, which house you were in at Hogwarts, your favourite colour, and,’ — she flashed a dubious glance at the cut on his forehead, — ‘that you're “hands down the best skater in all the Highlands.”’

Sebastian's swagger visibly deflated.

‘Is that all I told you?’ he gulped. Given his recent history, blabbering on about marriage was not the worst thing he could’ve told her.

Not by any stretch.

‘Mhm.’ She slipped the book under her arm and glided deeper into the shop. ‘Aside from the marriage proposal.’

‘Right,’ he swallowed. ‘Aside from that. So, uh.’ He stepped around her before she could flit off again. ‘Are you going to tell me your name?’

She smiled up at him, and he wondered if her plump, strawberry lips tasted as sweet as they looked.

Fuck.

‘I already did,’ she said coyly, lightly stepping around him again. ‘But you evidently did not commit it to memory.’

Whatever remained of his short-lived confidence packed up its bags and slinked out of the bookstore with its tail between its legs, leaving him fully exposed as the poser he truly was.

‘You didn't,’ he moaned, chasing after the scent of her floral hair like a bee starved of pollen.

‘I did.’

‘No.’

‘Twice, actually.’

‘Twice?’

‘Mhm,’ she said, picking up another book. ‘Not a great start to our whirlwind romance, is it?’

Sebastian looked at her sideways.

‘I still can't tell if you're joking,’ he lamented, feeling a burgeoning sense of anxiety tighten his chest. ‘What if I guess?’

She set the book down and turned to him.

‘Listen, Sebastian,’ she began, pronouncing his name the French way, ‘you seem very sweet, but —’

‘I am!’ he blurted. ‘I am sweet! Very sweet, in fact! Unless —’ A surge of panic stole through him. — ‘Unless you don't like sweet? In that case, I'm not sweet, I'm horrible. A nightmare. I'm literally the worst, I'm —’

‘You're dumb,’ she interrupted with a giggle.

Sebastian softened like fucking butter.

‘I can be that,’ he said with so much earnestness he wondered what the fucking hell was wrong with him. ‘I can be dumb, if that's what you want. Just tell me what you want, and I'll be it.’’

‘What I want,’ she said, regarding him with equal parts exasperation and pity, ‘is for you to get your head looked at.’

'You sound like my uncle,' he snorted. 'I mean, uh, I will!... If you come with me?'

‘Do you need me to hold your hand?’ she said archly.

‘Yes!’

‘Mm…’ She pretended to think. ‘Non.’

‘But — wait! What if — What if I have a concussion and I die without ever knowing your name? Wouldn't that be tragic?’ He pressed his hands to his chest and went on dramatically, ‘As I lay dying, holding the vision of your face in my mind's eye like a guiding light, my only regret will be that I never knew the name of beauty.’

Clearly unmoved, she levelled him a look so dry it would've parched a weaker man than he. But Sebastian Sallow was no coward! — Especially not with books at his disposal and the smell of parchment in his lungs. Inspired into a literary fervour, he swept his arms wide.

‘Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! And, lips,’ — his voice dropped to a whisper, — ‘O you the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss…’

‘Oh, mon dieu.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘It's Aurélie. — Aurélie Collins.’

Sebastian's mouth dropped.

‘Aurélie Collins the ballerina?’

‘Oui.’

She turned. He followed.

‘The famous one?’

‘Oui.’

‘But you're the youngest ballerina in the Paris ballet or — whatever. Right?’

‘Ballet de l'Opéra national de Paris,’ she corrected, holding herself a little straighter. ‘I didn't pick you as a ballet fan.’

‘I'm — well, I'm not,’ he admitted sheepishly. ‘But my best mate is. Fancy prick, Ominis is, but all the Gaunt's are.’

She stopped so abruptly that he bumped into her.

‘Ominis Gaunt is your best friend?’

Considering they hadn't spoken in over a year, “best friend” seemed a bit of a stretch, but for all intents and purposes, Ominis was really the only friend Sebastian had. Or used to have: after that one time Sebastian had used the torture curse on him, their friendship had become a little… strained.

‘Why?’ He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. ‘Do you know him?’

‘Yes, I do,’ she said loftily. ‘In fact, he and I have a date planned in ten minutes from now.’

Don't worry, there's not a single universe in which Sebastian and Aurélie don't fall stupidly in love. I just needed a foolproof way to make Sebebe jealous in part 2, and what better than to have his girl (quote unquote) go on a date with his estranged best friend who he tortured for a spell book that one time lol.