#college professors

[cecelovegood]

When you teacher recommends a sapphic witchy fantasy book in the assignment feedback 💗

[mycatsaidwhat]

Things I’ve heard professors say pt. 14

-you guys turn in your assignments, that’s so selfish of you 

-have any of you ever been on a sinking ship? Other than this university? Or the American republic in general 

-and then in this next Federalist painting we have the image of the Bible upside down in the hands of Democratic Republicans, because subtlety

-there is a solution to that, and that is called alcohol 

-yeah it’s not particularly diplomatically conducive to assassinate the leaders of the country you’re trying to wage an alliance with. It would be like if Biden met with Trudeau and shot him.

-the US calling their 1790s an “Indian problem” is like Russia saying they currently have a “Ukraine problem”   

-Thomas Jefferson coined the term “coo coo bananas.” It’s right there in the Declaration of Independence 

-*students point out that Tennessee and Kentucky are mislabeled on a professional academic 21st century map of early American colonies* so anyway–

-(student) do you want us to write our essay as if we’re addressing someone who doesn’t know anything about the American revolution, like our past essays?

(professor) Just write it like an essay, Skyler, Jesus  

-the french motto is “liberty, equality, fraternity.” now this doesn’t mean that all the men are going to join a group and paddle each other while drunk, but lots of shit happened during the french revolution, so who knows 

-I know what you’re all thinking--but what about the serial killer polygamist?!! 

-and because every artist thought they were a poet in the 18th century, there is a horrible rhyme at the end of this political cartoon 

-*trips over a wet floor sign* what are you trying to assassinate me for?

-profilers have feelings too, I guess. Actually no, no they don’t, what am I fucking saying 

-i stole all the textbooks so you don’t have to 

-if anyone is bored enough to read John Locke–

-*trying to flip to the the correct map in his slideshow* where in the freaking hell– 

[eilarae]

okay totally purely hypothetical question for all yall

[eretzyisrael]

Just one day after the 50th anniversary of the surprise Arab attack on Israel that launched the 1973 Yom Kippur War, jihadists from Gaza's Hamas and Islamic Jihad terrorist organizations unleashed another surprise attack on Israel on Oct. 7. Amidst rape outrages, at least dozens taken hostage, hundreds dead and thousands wounded in Israel, numerous anti-Israel academics in Middle East studies have opened a second Twitter/X front in the terrorist war against the Jewish state.

While Israeli writer Lazar Berman speculated that "October 7, 2023 saw the most Jews slaughtered in a single day since the Holocaust," San Francisco State University associate professor of ethnic studies Rabab Abdulhadi fell in line behind the genocidal terrorists, tweeting that Hamas members "are merely defending themselves ... against colonial & racist violence."

[armitageshux]

4 types of college Professors

Chill - Never takes attendance. Syllabus doesn’t mean a thing. Doesn’t care if you come to class, but is so nice, you feel guilty if you don’t. Multiple people will stick their heads into the classroom during the lecture just to say hi. Goes over every question that will be on the exam in detail, then tells you they’ll let you retake it if you get less than 80%. Relates everything back to personal life in an absolutely hilarious, but always informative way. Can make the most boring subject absolutely fascinating. Knows everyone by name. Volunteers somewhere at some youth addiction treatment center. Facebook full of former students. Will answer you on Twitter before answering an email. Has multiple “favorite professor of the year” plaques. Knows all the slang. Everyone passes the class with 80% or better.

Passionate - Forgets to take the attendance more often than not. Hates giving exams - wants you to understand the material, not parrot back definitions. Will get in the fight with the college over exam requirements. Syllabus flexible and probably filled with grammatical errors. On top of current events and always armed with a dozen recent news articles relating to the course. Likely to drive something from the late ‘80s that looks to be held together with duct tape and a prayer. Gives most points for class discussions. Emails distracted but always have more information than you need. You’ll pass the class, but find yourself caring more about the stuff you learned than the grade. Writes killer recommendation letters.

Obsessive - Always takes attendance. Keeps the attendance sheet on the table until half-past starting time, just to pointedly mark off when you’ve arrived late. Syllabus has 10-12 pages and requires a doctorate degree in the subject you’re taking. If there's a mistake in it, will insist you're following instruction wrong, rather than admit to making the mistake. Mid-term contains six essay questions; the final exam is accumulative. Does not eat or drink in class, with the exception of one generic water bottle. Three research papers, each one five pages longer than the previous one. No phone in class, not even for emergencies. The textbook is God, you must memorize it. If you pass the class, you wear that as a badge of honor. You'll have no clue what their class was even about approximately 3-6 months after you’re done. You'll have nightmares about their class for years.

All Done - Always takes attendance. You aren’t there on time, don’t bother coming. Doesn’t have time for you. Teaches three other classes at the same college, a High School class, and five other classes at a different college. Just wants to retire. Never answers emails. Nods and tunes out when you’re speaking. Doesn’t get upset when you don’t do the work - seems to expect failure at every turn. Has a presidential election sticker on the car, but it’s couple of decades old, and you think this is the last time they cared about anything. The total grade consists of a few papers, a few presentations, and homework. Will collect the homework, but won’t read half of it. You never get your papers back, and probably won’t know what your grade is till 2 weeks after the class is done. You’ll pass, but a little part of your soul will die in the process.

[perfectly-princely-emo-nightmare]

“Before we begin, I’d just like to inform you that your professor is not an asshole.”

—my differential equations professor today

[undergraduate-uncensored]

I’m on the dark side of the law.

- Criminal Psychology Professor

[jeyna-perspective]

Y'all I stressed cried in my professor's office last semester when I was confused about an assignment and then got a 60 and 80 which dropped my grade to a B. I also sent my professor a commented version of why I was confused since it worked the first time and that's how I don't forget anything.

I'm not mad that this professor added everything she said in class but never put in writing into her syllabus. I'm upset that she had the nerve to indicate that I was SOLELY the problem.

[mousedetective]

I was taking an amazing class in Tolkein's collected works as well as running a women's homeless shelter through a church, and when the shelter lost its housing I had to stop attending classes and couldn't do the reading. I think the teacher submitted my grade as a C even though I couldn't write the rest of the papers and attend class due to the crisis because this was the last semester she was going to teach the course. But she was super understanding that I was really interested in the course but real life had thrown a major wrench in my plans forcontinuing my education.

all those myths and legends you hear about uni professors being patient and understanding regarding human plight are true.

[cecelovegood]

My world religions teacher:

“Now, I’m not saying Jesus was gay, BUT…”

[seraphinethegreat]

My professor, after rambling about barbecue for half of lecture: this will not be on the quiz, by the way.

Like dude, I sure fucking hope it’s not, this is a political science class and you’ve spent the last twenty minutes debating the virtues of barbecue sauce

[anonymousdandelion]

A general tip for students who are sending those dreaded Religious Absence Emails to your professors: Rather than asking permission to take the day(s) off, politely let them know that you will be taking the day(s) off.

In other words, consider not saying this:

"May I miss class on [date] so I can observe [holiday]?"

It's not that there's anything wrong with the above, per se. But because it's phrased as a request, it risks coming across as optional — a favor you hope to be granted. Problem is, favors are not owed, and so unfortunately asking permission opens the door for the professor to respond "Thanks for asking. No, you may not. :)"

Instead, try something along the lines of:

"I will need to miss class on [date] because I will be observing [holiday]. I wanted to let you know of this conflict now, and to ask your assistance in making arrangements for making up whatever material I may miss as a result of this absence."

This is pretty formal language (naturally, you can and should tweak it to sound more like your voice). But the important piece is that, while still being respectful, it shifts the focus of the discussion so that the question becomes not "Is it okay for me to observe my religion?", but rather, "How can we best accommodate my observance?"

Because the first question should not be up for debate: freedom of religion is a right, not a favor. And the second question is the subject you need to discuss.

(Ideally, do this after you've looked up your school's policy on religious absences, so you know what you're working within and that religious discrimination is illegal. Just in case your professor forgot.)

[mfaculty]

Regardless of whether you’re in HigherEd or not, you likely know someone who is. This is probably one of the best things you can share with them to help them get clarity and grounding themselves on their path forward.

Each of us are here for a reason…and for a season.

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Practical Demonstration

Kinktober Day 3: Exhibitionism Yandere Male Alpha Professor x Gender Neutral Omega Teacher Assistant CW: Noncon, public sex, exhibitionism, abuse of authority, knotting, musk, scent kink, biting, claiming bites, pheromones, overstimulation, a/b/o dynamics, slick, suppressants, manipulation, praise kink, general yandere behavior Word Count: 1.6k (Okay guys, hope you enjoy this given how long you have waited for it! PLEASE comment, comments feed me <3)

You were the teacher's assistant for the renowned and well-regarded Professor Reid Sullivan. He had degrees involving anatomy and physiology as well as the psychology of alphas and omegas, and the college he taught at was prestigious.

Professor Sullivan was a bit of a prodigy, already being a highly respected academic despite only being in his early-thirties. His unkempt shaggy hair, dark circles around his eyes, and slight stubble made him appear older. His classes were popular, though he refused to teach large crowds. They reduced his efficacy. At most, he would teach 24 students at a time. This class, though, was limited to 20.

This meant students were always clamoring to sign up before all the slots were filled. Not only were people eager to watch him teach because he was so accomplished and good at educating but also because he was considered rather attractive by many students.

It didn't help that he was also an alpha, and despite his tired nerdy demeanor, he was actually quite fit.

But the main reason his classes were so popular was that he often incorporated live demonstrations into his lessons. In the past, he had omegas demonstrate heat and alphas show off knots while he pointed to and described the anatomy and the purpose for it. He even had an alpha and omega pair demonstrate mating on more than one occasion.

Working under him wasn't bad at all. You were an omega, so you were naturally pretty nervous at first. Working with an alpha superior could sometimes be rather hard. Even in this progressive age, there was still a degree of discrimination and power abuse.

Professor Sullivan was exceedingly kind to you. He even got you coffee and something to eat every morning, even though that would typically be a task more suited to you. He also let you sit in his large cushy chair and was quick to let you use his jacket as you rarely used one, and his classroom tended to be cold.

He was very patient and understanding, guiding you through lessons and helping you learn how to handle a class.

Then, on the day of the final lecture, his true colors were revealed.

He locked the door and then stood in front of it. He put on the display screen a presentation about seducing and breeding an omega.

"Omegas are instinctively attracted to mates that provide them with food. It doesn't have to be major, but a daily coffee and small bit of food will make them naturally more receptive to you..."

The lecture went into greater detail on the subject, also explaining how he microdosed the coffee to make suppressants less effective, but you weren't paying much attention. You were too busy staring at the screen that had pictures of you happily sipping coffee or nibbling on muffins or bagels. It was all so surreal.

"For a shy omega, you can't simply bombard them with your scent. It could scare them away or turn them off completely from your continued advances. Instead, get them acclimated to it..."

The screen now showed how he slightly scented his chair and jacket and gradually scented it more juxtaposed with images of you grading papers while wearing the jacket and sitting in his chair.

You were mortified. Professor Sullivan was a monster! You tried to push past him and get to the door. It almost worked as he was taken aback by your determination to escape, but the extra few seconds that you spent fiddling with the lock were all he needed to wrap his arms around you from behind.

"If your omega acts fearful before mating then the steps we took earlier will help us now."

“G-get off!”

You thrashed and squirmed, but he licked, sucked, and nibbled at your neck until the overstimulation clouded your mind and made your resistance much more feeble. After that, he turned you towards him and, after disrobing completely, pushed your head under his arm so that you got a full dose of his pheromones.

The students gave the professor their undivided attention. One or two omega students envied your place as they stared with wide-eyed fascination at Professor Sullivan's now throbbing cock. The rest were a bit uneasy because you clearly hadn't been willing. They weren't actually too shocked, though, this type of thing wasn't exactly uncommon.

"See how limp the omega is? That's because I canceled any bothersome suppressants, made them accepting of my scent, and subconsciously had them see me as a provider."

The professor had a student roll over his chair to the center of the class before locking the wheels in place. He sat you down tenderly after taking off all your clothing and setting it aside.

"Gather around class, feel free to masturbate as long as you pay attention. This is especially important for you alphas."

Some of the students rubbed their crotches. The alphas encouraged the omegas since it would be helpful later to get them all hot and bothered. After the class formed a circle around the two of you, he continued.

"Now, before an alpha inserts themself into their omega, they must make sure the omega is properly slicked up. Some was produced earlier, but we will want more."

He demonstrated the proper neck stimulation techniques as well as how to slowly stretch out and prepare an omega by inserting gradually more fingers. Then he showed them how to massage an omega’s entrance with their cocks before penetration.

Before he even slipped his cock into you, you were already drooling with a dazed expression.

"Okay class, I said today would be an interactive lesson. The 10 alpha students were each delegated an omega and as part of their final grade, they were tasked with doing everything to their omega classmate that I have done to the TA. Omega students will be granted a participation grade."

The alpha half of the class began pulling the omegas close, stuffing the omegas' faces into their musky crotches or underarms.

The omegas were all bewildered. One gladly accepted their fate, a few were shocked into inaction, and most struggled. Only one managed to escape and get out the door but was chased down and brought back.

These were all students with dreams and goals, most didn't want to be an alpha's property and cumdump. At least not before they did things with their lives.

"I made sure all of your desks were sturdy enough for this, you can prop your omegas up on them if you'd like, putting your clothes on the desk and laying your omega on that will make them more comfortable, like a miniature nest with your scent."

The alphas were all stoked and barely able to hold back.

"If you have your omega in a state like our wonderful TA here is demonstrating then you may slip your cock into them, go slowly though, at least at first."

Professor Sullivan was the first to sink in, causing you to moan softly, soon the entire room was filled with the gasps and moans of a room full of omegas mingling with the grunting and heavy breathing of their alpha lovers.

The air was heavy with pheromones, musk, and the scent of slick.

Your mind wasn't really able to process what was happening around you, though. Your nose was focused on the scent of the one mating you as you instinctively wrapped your arms and legs around him.

"Oh, don't forget to praise your omegas, they may not understand your words right now, but the tone will soothe them."

He kissed you possessively.

"You're such a good mate for me. A perfect partner. So good at helping me teach this lesson. Taking my cock so well~"

He cooed into your ear lovingly as the alpha students praised and complimented their mates. Occasionally, an omega shuddered and squealed in orgasm with their alphas not too far behind.

Sullivan sped the pace up for you, and you didn't last much longer after that. You spasmed wonderfully around his dick as you came hard. Not the only time, though, as he coaxed several more climaxes from your trembling body before he finally came himself and tied you with his big knot.

"Once you've knotted your lover you should bite their neck to mark them as yours. This is essential to making your omega feel safe and loved and will make you secure in the knowledge that everyone knows who they belong to."

The professor bit your neck hard, causing you to moan more even as you flinched in pain.

"You look so beautiful with my mark."

After all the mating had finished and all the knots had deflated, the omegas were all still pretty out of it. Mating and being claimed took a lot out of them and it would probably be an hour or two before they recovered.

"Don't forget your homework! Aftercare is ESSENTIAL!!! Take your omegas to your dorms and make sure they are hydrated, well fed, and praised. If they get cranky at today's events, they probably just need another round or two of breeding."

Which, as it turns out, is exactly what he determined you needed when you wouldn't listen to reason at his home later. He tried to explain that it was all to enhance his teaching. He had been looking for the right omega to fall in love with and help with his lessons for YEARS!

And he finally found you. A TA aspiring to work in his field! You had always wanted a career in academics, and now you had one as his permanent assistant and live demonstration participant!

[ellecdc]

wait professor remus…… elle you opened the Gates

hehehehehe.... 😈 big shout out to @maladaptiveescapism for daydreaming and yapping about this with me - some of the 'ratings' are courtesy of her!

Professor!Remus Lupin x Professor!reader: 5/5 chilli peppers [1.7k words]

CW: fem!reader, flirty/sexual comments made about both professors by students [indirectly], suggestive content but nothing explicit and SFW

You were sitting cross legged on Remus’ desk; heels discarded on the floor as you used one hand to scroll through your phone whilst the other brought your glass of wine to your lips. 

Remus probably shouldn’t think you look adorable, but Remus thought you looked adorable.

You hummed excitedly as you quickly swallowed your sip and pointed at your phone. “Listen to this one!” You enthused, clearing your throat and sitting up straighter as though you were about to deliver one of your lectures. “Professor Lupin should be banned from wearing those khaki slacks - you know the ones - how can anyone pay attention to the migration of Germanic peoples through Western Europe when that perfect arse is *right there*?” 

Remus’ face felt like it was probably five shades darker on account of his furious blush as he topped up his own glass of wine and let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a groan.

“They’re just trousers!” 

“Oh but they are so not.” You drawled salaciously, smirking into your glass. 

“Knock it off, you minx.”

“Shan’t.” You replied as you squinted at your phone again. “Oh! This one’s good: when he starts rolling up his sleeves and then leans on the desk, it’s suddenly worth waking up at seven AM for a morning class.”

“Stop-”

“And someone responded with ‘I didn't believe in god when I was forced to take an eight AM lecture, but I did believe in god when she blessed us with Professor Lupin as an apology’. You’re a hit, Lupin.” 

“I’m horrified.”

“You’re an icon.”

“Did these student’s even learn anything in my classes?” Remus let out with a laugh.

“Sure.” You agreed quickly. “This one says you guys spoke about Freud?”

“I- what?” Remus asked, wondering when the hell Freud came up during his Early Medieval Europe course. 

“‘We were discussing Freud and made a daddy joke. Professor Daddy.’” 

“Alright.” Remus gruffed as repositioned himself on the loveseat in the office. “That’s enough out of you.”

“Hey,” You placated, raising your hands - still holding your phone and a glass of wine - in mock surrender, “I’m just the messenger.”

“What is this site called again?” He asked as he pulled out his own phone.

“Rate my professor. Oh, this one’s boring.”

“What’s it say?” He asked with a snort.

“Says you’re a harsh grader but fair, and you allow people to resubmit their assignments to bring their grades up.”

“Finally, an accurate and reasonable review.”

“All in all, you’ve gotten 5/5 chilli peppers.” You sing-songed, looking up and smirking at him. “My my; do office hours run long, Professor Lupin?” 

Remus swallowed thickly and ignored the subtle tightening of his pants. “You think mine are bad?” 

“No, I think yours are great.” You corrected. 

Remus hummed as he smirked at you before reading from his screen. “Took the class because it was the only one available and now I’m wondering if I can retake it because this might be the hottest woman I have ever seen. BRB booking an appointment to change my major.”

“No way!” You squealed with laughter; Remus’ smile grew exponentially as a result.

“Did Plato come up this semester?” He asked you then; you nodded your head yes. “I don’t know why she thinks I can focus on platonic ideals of things when she is in the room? Platonic ideal of hot.”

“Oh my god!” 

“This one simply reads ‘someone call Victoria’s Secret. One of their angels is posing as a university professor.”

You shook your head and looked up at the ceiling at that one.

“Looks like you’ve got 5/5 chilli peppers too, Professor.” He quipped.

“That’s just because I’m only one of two Professors at this university under 50 years old.” You chuckled, Remus cocking an unimpressed brow in response.

“Wouldn’t that be my excuse too?”

You quickly hummed in the negative.

“No?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Uhm…because you’re hot, Remus.” 

“Is that so?”

“That is my professional, academic opinion, yes.” You agreed resolutely. 

“I think there might be some flaws in your assessment, dove.” 

“Is that so?” You drawled slowly, parroting his earlier comment earning you a challenging hum of affirmation.

Remus watched your eyes narrow slightly before you lifted your phone back up.

“You did receive one ⅘ rating.” You commented solemnly.

“Bastard.” Remus scoffed with no real heat, running his tongue along his teeth as you repositioned yourself on his desk; shifting closer to the edge and leaning over your own legs as though trying to subconsciously inch closer to Remus. “I hope they failed my course.” 

You let out a roaring laugh, throwing your head back into it and exposing the length of your neck. 

“They said,” you continued loudly once you collected yourself as though scolding him for having interrupted you, “minus one chilli because I’m pretty sure he’s shagging that other hot professor in the department.”

“Now why would they think that?” He asked innocently, though he knew exactly why they would think that. 

The two of you were new to the university faculty this year; you were close in age, by far the youngest professors on the payroll, and both part of the history department. The two of you had picked up a quasi-antagonistic yet relatively genial relationship; rumours that the department would be letting go of one professor at the end of the school year what with the two of you being the lowest in terms of seniority didn’t bode well, resulting in a slight rivalry that saw no real animosity. 

But regardless of the semi-competitive nature of your relationship, the two of you were the youngest professors at the school, meaning you weren’t always taken very seriously and were often each other’s only allies. 

This meant the two of you became fast frenemies. 

It started in the first term when he went to reserve a book for the class, only to find you had put it on hold first. 

“Oh? Did you need this book, Lupin? Sorry about that….you’ll have to be faster next time.” You’d offered him with nothing more than a wink, leaving him standing there, gaping in your office as you walked away. 

Then it turned into him letting himself into the lecture room 26 minutes past the hour whilst your class was finishing up even though your class only finished 25 minutes past the hour and his class didn’t start until 35 minutes past the hour, just so he could enjoy the way your nose scrunched up in frustration as your students started giggling through your concluding remarks. 

You showed up to one of his lectures once - he’d somehow missed you sneaking in and taking a seat in the back row - when you began volleying questions in an attempt to fluster him. You’d teased him once about his need for structure and scripts for his classes, and you’d gone to prove him right by asking him hard hitting questions slightly beyond the scope of this particular class that he was not prepared to have to answer. The class ended with his tie loosened and his sleeves rolled up as he scowled at you and you smiled sweetly at him. 

Once he had fucked around with your powerpoint lecture without your knowledge, so as you opened up the first slide, everyone read: blimey, sorry to everyone stuck with Professor Y/N for the next hour or so. You really ought to try one of Professor Lupin’s courses instead - they’re way better!

You sticky-noted his entire office for that one. 

Friendly and not so friendly comments were passed in the corridors as the two of you passed one another, some heard by students and others not. Remus had guest lectured for a course of yours and you had offered a talk in one of his. 

Ultimately, the school had seen the two of you interacting. Remus probably should have been more mindful of the way his gaze often lingered on you. 

But it couldn’t be helped, really. You were maddeningly intelligent, engaging in the way you spoke in an academic sense and a personal sense, you were funny and quick, and fuck him if you weren’t the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen.

So yeah, he knew exactly where those rumours had come from. He’d probably been caught a few too many times ogling you. 

Much like he was being caught ogling you now, though you were the only one present to catch him in his faux pas.

Your eyes were glassy from the amount of wine the two of you had shared to celebrate the official end of exam season, the top few buttons of your blouse seem to have come undone at some point in the evening exposing a beautiful expanse of skin, if you asked Remus. He noticed you swallow thickly as your legs fell over the edge of the desk, bare feet dangling well above the carpeted floor as you watched him watch you. 

“Beats me.” You murmured in response to his question.

“We’ve been drinking.” He commented, seemingly apropos of nothing.

“We have.”

“And we’re technically at work.” He continued.

“We are.” 

“One of us could be getting let go.”

“We could.” You agreed again. 

The two of you stared at one another as you teetered this liminal space between friendly and decidedly not, between professional and inappropriate, between surrendering and resisting.

And then the corner of your mouth turned up in a smirk.

“Fuck it.” Remus let out with an exhale, and in two quick strides he was standing between your legs, grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you soundly as you hummed into the kiss and fisted the back of his shirt with an iron grip.

He couldn’t believe he’d waited an entire academic year to do this. 

[sharkry]

ughhhhhhhh

I am trying to get dropped from one of my courses and the professor who in the past has responded to every email within a couple hours is ghosting me and I can't drop the class by myself. Like bruh just let me leave your class I don't want to be here and you don't want me here this is a mutually beneficial arrangement