#college is a place full of people!
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The story workshopping process can be so unserious like today a girl (I’ve been told does not understand that her best friend has a girlfriend, not another female friend, and is therefore jealous of the girlfriend for being a fellow female friend) wrote her main character as having a hopeless crush on her best friend complete with homoerotic musings about best friend’s hair and then when the workshoppers go “yo. Homoeroticism!! Crush!! Lesbianism even!!” she goes. “Am I not straight??? Wow lots to think about. I thought that was like normal I think about my best friend like that. Anyways this was a story about my ex who did not kill me but I would not be surprised if he killed someone else haha” 😵💫 and you just have to roll with it like okay so true anyways how sexy should the car make-out scene with the serial killer boyfriend be exactly?
#college is a place full of people!#she’s not as painfully straight as the other Straight White Girl tee em in the class but shes close. At least she’s nice.#personal life#her story was good tho really well-written she did a great job.
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
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me waking up in a cold sweat at 6:20am: "I should get evening classes to be a hair dresser & training to be a makeup artist to be my own hair/make-up person on photo/video shoots and defy industry's single-gender-dominated-and-not-improving department segregation system like the all-rounder online creator that I am 👀😤"
#I swear I don't have adhd or anything I am just having a professional existential crisis recently x'D#ok but hear me out right like how useful would it be if people could hire someone who's a one-person videographer AND hair/make-up person!#I could like double my asking rate!#you need to do one before you can do the other anyway so why have two people for it#other than that the hair/make-up women don't specialise in photography#and the videographer lads have never touched a cosmetic product let alone knowing how to use it to any level let alone a professional one#AND I'd be able to offer hiring me as either role OR both at once#I'd have more options for jobs to apply to#and I'd have full control over the look I want from my subjects#cause like I do my own hair & make-up for my videos#like I know how to cut my own hair & do my own make-up#but I wanna learn how to do ANYONE'S!!!#and I know you can do hair dressing college evening classes cause I remember that was one of the other evening classes running while I was#doing my electrician's level 2#and I know there's make-up training places in the city I've seen them before while I was looking up other things#if you do professional hair/make-up you need to take pictures of it for your portfolio anyway#and if you professionally take pictures of people you need to do their hair/make-up anyway to get the look you want#SO WHY NOT BOTH for any reason other than gender roles prohibiting the cishets from learning both skills to the required level!!!#THIS IS MY LEG UP#THIS IS MY QUEER NONBINARY TRANS ADVANTAGE#*evil manic laughter*#edit: and smth smth the thing where women & afab ppl don't do their skills to a professional level#unlike cishet men making everything their job and therefore succeeding professionally even in trad-female dominated skills/industries#hence I should LEARN my matr skills to the level required for professional stuff rather than limit myself to patr skills#that I have a disadvantage with due to cishet male-dominated nature of this industry/tech department#AND it'll give me an opportunity to message my detrans previous hairdresser (as I live too far away from her now)#being like 'u were one of my inspirations for this I also wanna learn how to cut mullets real good hope ur doing well T^T' x'D#AND I could apply to screenskills' trainee finder in another department in a few years regardless of whether or not I get in this year#(I applied to the camera one this year)
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sometimes i think about what would have happened if richard had died instead of henry and the rest of the book had been narrated the song of achilles style and it hurts
#raj shitposting#imagine had the fight led to the gun being thrown out the window. had henry seen that richard was shot. had the ambulance been too late..#that is the saddest thought i've ever had#henry would quit college. buy the estate he had seen with richard. live there with all his stuff and sob into his clothes like a baby...#he'd go to california every christmas and spend the time alone in some stupid hotel and become absolutely fucking unhinged.#he'd tend to richard's mother because ofc his father would run away from home that was the kind of man he was.#and he'd call no one but his own mother for her funeral because no one else would be bothered.#he'd send some money to richard's father along with the news and go about living his life like a goddamn widow.#that's the perfect word. widow. henry would be nothing but a widow.#the bmw would be the worst thing in his possession. he'd think about selling it but he wouldn't.#he'd think that anytime he had a semblance of thought that maybe richard was with him.. it would be in that fucking car.#he wouldn't sell it out of superstition that the car was the only place where he could safely feel richard and fall apart in his memory.#he'd cry like a madman every damn day in that car.while getting groceries.visiting francis at the country house.going for dinner with them.#he'd probably get a portrait done of richard. maybe of a photo of richard in some fancy clothes francis took at the country house.#yk those times rich people ugly cry by a full size painting in a burgundy robe with wine spilled on the floor by them clutching their chest#as if in physical pain and agony? that would be my man henry.#he'd be too out of his mind to even remember that maybe that day he killed charles too because nothing seems to matter anymore.#henry winter#richard papen#winterpapen#tsh#donna tartt#the secret history#literati
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Whoopsie time
#vent tw#cw vent#I'm stupid to have dropped out of college#now I don't know what I'm doing and I can't do the very passion I set out to do#Animation was my dream and I ruined it for a guy who groomed me and ended up physically abusing me.#I didn't realize trying to animate and failing because I don't understand it no matter what I look up about it would result in a breakdown#Not to mention I'm regressing in my art skill right now.#My art is ASS right now no matter how hard I try to improve it#references... Practice... Doodles... Warmups you name it#nothing is going right and I have the urge to quit art altogether#I'm not going to and I can't bring myself to ever do that but It's aching inside me#I want my art to be good according to me. not others. People can say it's great but if I don't like it... I'm not going to settle for it#I shouldn't have left#I loved college#I loved SELU#I loved my life back then#And now I'm here. And I'm not happy anymore.#Even with writing. I even took a long break from writing and I still can't do it right according to myself.#Now I have no muse or motivation for any of it#I feel empty. And I can't go to therapy because I can't afford the balance on my account.#I just feel like I failed.#I feel like I failed my parents and myself. They always tell me theyre so proud of me but I don't understand how they can be.#Not when I ended up in two severely abusive relationships... Dropped out of college twice... And now work in a factory full time.#Yeah i make decent money in a place I enjoy but it all just feels empty.#I could've been more#i could've done better#[[out of ammo]];; ooc
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sorry i cannot imagine a future where the kids and reigen/serizawa lose touch with each other. like its just not real to me they are a family forever
#sorry but the series did not end with s&s full of people who care about each other celebrating reigen's birthday#symbolizing how they've all found a place where they are accepted and loved after a lifetime of loneliness#for mob to move away for college and never talk to reigen again. sorry but reigen is like a third parent and older brother#not to mention the ritshou inlaw situation or reigen adopting teru like thats non-canon but its still real to me#they all go to the serirei wedding btw#mp100#tome and serirei go on vacation together. reigen goes to all of their graduations. serizawa has shou over for dinner on fridays.#are you getting it
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having a somewhat shitty evening which means it's time to think about my fave burping for me so I don't lose my gd mind
#only a few more weeks in this godforsaken place and i'll never have to deal with these assholes again 🙏#i'm so tired of this place man#thinking about my fave has gotten me through... maybe a concerning amount of frustrating things this year#my baseline for how often i think of him is already pretty high but he's on my mind almost constantly here#bc i am that desperately in need of something happy to help me take my mind off of stressful shit#if there's any genuine advice for me to give on this blog it's this:#when considering a college do some digging online about the culture#ESPECIALLY if you're a minority#and i mean dig deep too#if a school has money they may try their damndest to hide all the problems they have through whatever means necessary#people told me i'd fit in here which is true academically#but socially and culturally this place is full of the most toxic people and mindsets jfc#i could go on about this place and how much it sucks for hours#but anyway... my l*ndo burping 🤤🤤🤤#thinking about drinking soda with him and him not letting me touch myself or burp 🥴🥴🥴#sighhhhhhhhhhhh#not sfw#londarling
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genuinely it is so depressing to spend money drinking just to end up doing nothing interesting and just sitting around
#i need friends who like. doing things.#i need more friends in general but i mean yeah.#would love to have an actual college experience one day. I’ve been in college 4 years or so and I’ve never been to a party and I’ve never#made lasting/close friendships. since pre-covid I haven’t really made friends at all#all my friends (all four of them) are from high school#it’s really fucking pathetic actually how incapable I am of making friends or having a life#and it just feels like a huge fucking waste of time and a waste of a college environment#part of me wishes I would rent at a place full of mostly other students and get a roommate I don’t know (as much as that’s a bad idea if#it’s anything like last time) just so I can be around people and be forced to meet people#also so I can avoid getting lowkey fucked over because my friends I’m supposed to be renting with eventually don’t want to pay a#significant amount of rent and I’d end up paying way more than them just because they supposedly can’t afford it (we all have about the same#income.)#gehsdhdhdhshhd#they also want to rent a place with four of us total and I just. really don’t want to live with that many people. like I think it would#drive me fucking insane. I need control over my surroundings and that leaves me with no control and I don’t like it#and a million other reasons I don’t like the idea#it was originally just supposed to be me and one friend. so. this was not the plan#hahsgshhshh anyway kill me#I’m in that post-drinking state where all pleasant affects of the alcohol have long since worn off and I’m just sort of left a hollow shell#depressed and disappointed.#and I have to go to work this afternoon woohoo awesome so cool#kibumblabs
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if you are new at being an adult/living on your own (especially if you started out adulthood or post grad life during the early days of the pandemic) and feel lonely despite having friends and people you talk to, please invite people to hang out at your place. this sounds like stupid advice but not enough people take it to heart. “oh we’re not that close” that’s how you get that close!!! I cannot emphasize enough how much your friends don’t care if you have socks on the floor or some dishes in the sink or a cramped apartment that doesn’t look very nice or some central activity to keep them entertained. invite people over. don’t limit yourself to things that cost money and exist only in public. let yourself be with people in the intimacy of your own home. the number of times a friend has come over and just started doing the dishes for me or I’ve sat matching socks while they folded their laundry on the floor. let them bring some snacks instead of venmoing each other for takeout. provide some tea or alcohol or whatever you like and can afford. you don’t need an excuse to see people. you don’t need an excuse to let them see you.
#in college I went to a friend’s apartment to play board games and she didn’t have a table#or chairs. but she had two margarita machines. and we sat on the floor drinking margs#and doing a terrible job at playing settlers of catan#in grad school a friend came over and a whole rack of clothes fell on her and we laughed until we cried#and she makes fun of me for how messy that room was#last year a friend from childhood stayed with me after my graduation party#and we sat on the couch taking naps and half watching TV for a whole day while the place was a mess#when my bf and I first moved in we tried to go to a bar with friends but everything was full#it was like. comical how many places were booked for private events#so everyone drove to our place and stopped on the way for drinks and food#and we dragged in patio furniture from the balcony#and shared chairs and spots on the floor#people just want to be somewhere safe with their friends#mine#text post#life advice#life lessons#being an adult is hard
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oh baby I knew it from the fuckin moment the addc was introduced that there’s just no damn way they DIDNT have some legally sketchy shit going on with the alzheimers/dementia patients and unethical clinical trials. I feel so vindicated right now
#im on chapter 9 of judgement#I know my SHIT when it comes to human experimentation and medical ethics#and criminal investigation in general frankly that’s a big reason I was so excited to play this game (I’ve taken college classes in this)#but yeah the moment the addc is introduced and we see the layout of the place and details like the gigantic dementia patient ward right next#to the research facility and such I was like mm….. that can’t be good#I was rambling to my friend during that like. yeah they could probably get away with doing basically whatever they want with these patients#because of all the conditions to research alzheimer’s and dementia make for some of the easiest to strip subjects of their autonomy#making informed consent and whatnot most likely not an issue and complaints about malpractice or what have you extremely easy to stifle#ie; if you are a patient there you are probably just straight up trapped. no one’s gonna listen to you you have no autonomy and-#the sad but true fact about the situation is that people don’t have the time/resources/capacity to be caretakers for their alzheimers/#dementia-ridden loved ones so a place like this- a leading research/medical facility said to be on its way to finding a cure and changing#the world- would seem like the perfect place to send a loved one in need of full time care and trust that they will do nothing but good#so it’s a great setup to get patients who are likely to die as it is- who have no autonomy- who have no credibility- and have nowhere to go.#I couldn’t help but think about that like. immediately after seeing the ward#so. here we are. let’s see where this goes#judgement#judgment spoilers#rambling#I have a weird special interest sorta thing in medical ethics / human experimentation and I have a character who literally teaches a#class on the topic (and is a surgeon) so. that’s why I’m like. especially intrigued right now
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man. should rlly start bringing my sketchbook to work
#ramblies#its raining and we work outdoors so ive just been sitting here on my phone for an hour#I JUST WANNA CREATE STUFF#idk WHAT happened (i do know. college happened) but ever since working full time i just itch to create shit all day. ive been having my#best ideas. i get home from a 9 hour day make myself dinner and inmediately draw most days#like its just. an itch. that needs to be scratched. its whatever the opposite of that burnout i used to have wss#like i JUST WANT TO CREATE FREELY. i just want to LEARN. but i have less time now!#im so excited to do the cool shit i have planned for portfolio and open up my shop and revsmp my commissiok website#jm gonna learn so much and get so good and make the BEST fuckjng portfolio snd make so much money#my girlboss era. to be fucking honest.#ive been insanely busy ive barely touched video games in a couple months. im always jsut… doing shit and being alive#for the first time ever! im so tired! but like. its good#like im saving money and im loving creating things and im making such good memories with my friends#we can do someyhing so simple like. go to the park. and its so nice i make core memories bc we just do stupid shit. its magical. its magica#life is so fucking tiring and overwhelming but for the first time i rlly feel like im living and i havent even gotten my own place yet or#anything like that. like ooggh this is the connection i was missing out on#having mixed feelings abt my ‘stay inside and be a gamer’ era bc no doubt that time has fuelled my drive to work like an ox now (i have#something to prove- i light a fire under my own ass) but also i couldve been having these experiences sooner#but not with the same people im with now. so thats okay#i digress. anyways i wanna draw LMFAO#IM GONNA MAKE MONSTER HUNTER STICKERS its gonna be so rad
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Someone wrote a whole essay on the flag? Bruh. How many notes did it get there’s no way people are serious
like 200 i think? people are…. very serious 😬
#and i was reading through the tags and like— i get what some people are saying!#like i said i personally wouldn’t have done it and i think it came off a little cringe#and it’s true that being able to joke around about trump comes from a place of privilege#it’s okay to not like it#but…… it’s a joke hasan would make. it’s a joke q.uackity would make. it’s a joke liberal college kids would make#we don’t need to clamber onto the moral high ground and pretend dream is somehow uniquely bad or insensitive#for giving a guy who can’t vote a trump flag#in an audience of people who are in No danger of subscribing to those beliefs#’it financially supported his campaign’ it was ten bucks#anyway no more flag talk pleek it happened a full 24 hours ago ❌❌#<- not at u anon i know i started it 😭 just in general#it’s already kind of a dead horse i don’t think we need to beat it any further#bella answers#anon#discourse
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I was thinking about the overwhemed barista moral panic again and how there were people in the replies flexing working insane hours, and I'm sorry, but if you are a nurse, surely you know this shit is not healthy? Surely you know this is negatively affecting your life and that humans shouldnt be regularly working long ass shifts because thats not sustainable??
Captalism has rooted people's brains to shit that should be obvious
#someone was talking there about how there is a difference in 'simple work' and 'easy work' and how being a barista isnt fucking easy#and I think it might be an autism thing (causing social anxiety) but I cant imagine how people would consider any costume service job easy#I saw an right wing *youtuber* saying he had a harder job and I'm sorry but Ill take the flexble hours from home without talking to anyone#and every bitch forgeting that man was a full time college student is atrocious - my course has a very small cap on hours and *I* feel over#worked most of the time without having a job#plus working in a understaffed place standing all day?? baristas can complain all day if they want I could never
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theres a post i see going around every once in a while abt how we should make trains more common (which i do agree with) but one of the arguments bugs me so much i just dont reblog it
#wind howls#i have better things to do than being petty in that persons tags though#but the argument of going 'what about disabled people?' and the persons argument being 'yes but also. trains' okay well that means nothing#like you realize this. that means nothing. that isnt a good argument this means nothing to me. so what if trains can take me to most places#how do i take myself to the train ?#i love taking the train i would take it all the time when i could when i went to my old college bc i could take it for like 40 minutes#but then having to wait an hour in like -30°c for the bus to come pick me up and take me within walking distance of home ?#which by the way being disabled and walking on uneven groun like snow or dangerous ground like ice is a certain recipe for pain.#and not just with my legs. the amount of times i slipped on the ice because my footing is weaker and just shredded my hands or knees is.#a lot. a whole lot. and the same happens even without snow or ice ! scrapping my shit on concrete hurts even worse !#a lot of times i didnt have a choice but to call my dad and ask him to pick me up from the station.#sometimes taking the One Single Bus Line to my house means the bus is full and theres no sitting places. everyones crammed together#its a sensory nightmare and painful on my body but sure. trains.#again i love trains and i do want them to be more accessible !#but that has to go hand in hand with buses too. that theres a thought.#anyway that felt a bit personal and i know my experiences arent universal but thats just my own thoughts on it#also i dont know if the op of that post is disabled or not so i dont wanna assume and be inconsiderate in their tags.
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