#THIS IS MY QUEER NONBINARY TRANS ADVANTAGE

[tboyrory]

What do you think about transgender men who just want to be men? I feel weird on this platform; most people are non-binary, and I even saw a post mocking binary people. It's a bit weird, and I'm currently transitioning, both medically and legally. I live in Poland, and here most of the people I've met were mostly binary transgender, and even if they weren't, they still used male or female pronouns. Here I see the opposite.

I feel a bit lost. I'm a pretty simple guy. I come from a farming family. I have simple interests. I don't stick out. I wear regular, simple clothes like polo shirts, T-shirts, or sweatshirts. I look ordinary. However, for some reason I'm just afraid that I won't be accepted. I don't want to force myself to change, but maybe being too "ordinary" makes me push people away from me? I would like to be born a man, to be cisgender. But unfortunately this did not happen.

I hear you. I’d also just like to say I’m so damn sorry about what’s going on in your country at the moment.

This is long but the reason is kind of complex (skip to the bottom four paragraphs if you want my advice without all the context)

There’s a few things at play here. Offline, nonbinary people are an extreme minority. Trans people are already a minority within the lgbtq community, which is, yet again, a minority. So we’re seeing a community of people that are a minority within a minority within a minority essentially. And if you’re that, tumblr is kind of the right place to be, because this site is host to many small populations, other “out of the ordinary” communities. You see a post on here mocking binary people. Let me say, you’ll be hard pressed to find that anywhere outside of tumblr, on other sites or in real life. Post that shit on Reddit, TikTok, or Instagram, the poster will be possibly threatened with violence and harassed into the depths of hell.

Offline, there is pretty much no advantage to publicly identifying one’s self as nonbinary or attempting to use gender neutral pronouns. No advantage to being trans but for binary trans people, if we perform our gender roles good enough and conform with cis expectations, we might get a condescending pat on the back and told, “you’re one of the few trans people that isn’t insufferable, unlike the people identifying as xyz and going by they/them.” Whenever I make friends with cis people, I sometimes realize too little too late that I’m “one of the good” trans people to them and am just a diversity accessory.

That’s not to say you’re safe from transphobia just because you’re binary. But during the peak of trans medicalism, the trans community turned nonbinary people into our scapegoats to access the “acceptance” of cis people who believe we are just men and women with an unfortunate mental illness, and entertain using our name and pronouns (as long as we behave and remember our place).

All that said, trans men are often expected to conform to femininity and to feminize ourselves because being masculine is seen as “regressive”, ugly and bad, while femininity is pretty and good. This attitude exists for so many reasons, hurts a lot of people, not just us, but too many to list right now, the end result is that we’re isolated from “inclusive” queer spaces. To be part of the in group, a lot of trans guys feel pressure to change themselves or not participate at all. Essentially, you’re ostracized on the basis of being a trans guy, but you’ve also entered a place heavily populated by a marginalized group that you aren’t part of, and you’re seeing frustration and possibly resentment at the wider trans community for our past and current exorsexism (hatred of nonbinary people).

That doesn’t mean you have to make yourself different to find space here. A lot of nonbinary people are trans masc and are also impacted by transandrophobia, we share a lot of struggles with them. Even nonbinary people that aren’t transmasc are often caught up in the cross fire when we’re targeted. I might be wrong, but it seems you aren’t used to sharing a platform with many nonbinary people. To feel more comfortable, instead of not participating, or feeling like you must change, interact with them if they’re open to it (positive interaction). Comments, likes, or reblogs. Interact with posts that talk about exorsexism or ask questions, get familiar. Transandrophobia is running rampant, and when trans men are targeted, some of the first people to stand up for us and stand with us, are nonbinary people. Sharing a space with them doesn’t have to be feeling like the odd one out, rather, an opportunity to build an amazing mutual allyship.

I relate to and connect with binary trans guys, I celebrate them, I fall in love with them, but ultimately, I wish we more often give nonbinary people the same support they’ve given us. I understand how it was isolating to see a post mocking binary trans people and how that might make you nervous and uncomfortable, but believe me, only a very small minority of them harbor actual hate. You likely saw that post because it got outrage that got a lot of engagement.

I see a lot of posts from transfems on here saying nasty shit about us, however, yet again, they’re a very vocal but small percentage of trans fems. Most of them don’t actually feel that way about us. It’s no different than this.

Let me know if you have anymore questions, if I misunderstood anything, or if there is something else on your mind. Stay safe.

[seeresultssweep]

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

ik this blog is dead but yknow what, im gonna take advantage of my following to make an important post:

this pride month, i want you to educate yourselves & support the "controversial" queers.

& no i dont mean people with contradictory labels or xeno pronouns or those who use outdated/offensive terminology. i mean the people that even the most sex-positive, pro-kink, self-proclaimed perverts think are dangerous freaks who deserve to die.

i mean the paraphiles & people with taboo or stigmatized kinks/fetishes. i mean the people into the most taboo & stigmatized things like children, animals, corpses, & incest. i mean the people into violent things like murder, gore, rape, & abuse. i mean the people into unsanitary things like piss, shit, vomit, sweat, & snot. i mean the people into things that are constantly memed on like feet, armpits, bodily excretions, cartoon characters, pool toys, & plushies. i mean the people with attractions that would be illegal, immoral, or downright impossible to act out in real life.

no attraction is inherently harmful or evil. there are safe ways to indulge in these things such as fictional content, roleplay with consenting partners, & custom sex toys.

no, i dont think paraphilias are lgbt+ identities. they cant really be grouped into the same category or treated the same way as being gay or trans. but paraphilias are undeniably queer, as theyre highly stigmatized attractions that fall outside the norm. paraphiles face far more violence & hatred than any other lgbtq identity you can think of. it is still normalized & accepted to subject paraphiles to abusive treatments that have been proven to be cruel & ineffective, such as conversion therapy, forced sterilization, & excessive medication. even queer people forget their own history & advocate for this kind of abuse for paraphiles. there is no safe space for paraphiles to seek support, acceptance, or community the way lgbtq has pride, & that's a damn shame.

& believe it or not, many (maybe even most!) paraphiles are gay, bi, pan, poly, trans, nonbinary, aro, ace, & any other lgbtq identity you can think of.

so yes, paraphiles belong at pride. spend this month unlearning preconceived biases & educate yourself on what paraphilias actually are & how theyre not inherently dangerous.

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

[oceanwithouthermoon]

okay some people genuinely really need to accept that the ONLY "queer coding" in saiki k is when they make gay jokes. there is NO other intentional queer coding, and i think people dont understand that claiming rep where it isnt there is much much more harmful than you think it is... just headcanon! its fun! you guys act like youre going to fucking die if you ship/hc something not canon, so you convince everyone that everything you say is canon ☠️ its literally insane

theres a HUGE difference between a headcanon or ship having what YOU see as canon backing, and a hc or ship that is actually implied or canon...

the only ship that you could argue is implied in saiki k is terusai, thats literally it, you could potentially make an argument that yumekai could be reciprocated towards the end, satoumiya, or MAYBE mikosai, but im pretty sure thats it...

nonbinary saiki is one of my personal favorite headcanons (one of the only ones i pretty much ALWAYS have in mind when talking or writing about him, it's practically a given) and i think it has pretty good canon backing, but its not ACTUALLY implied.

hes FAIRLY certain that his biological sex is male, and all evidence points to that, but he doesnt know and specifically says that he doesnt know what his true gender is... he clearly has absolutely zero discomfort with masculinity OR femininity, doesnt know or care about his gender, and is comfortable with either sex... he seems very happy to just be either...

seems like pretty solid evidence, but you also have to realize that there is literally zero chance that the author intended for saiki to be read as nonbinary, or trans in any way, this was literally just an excuse for plot and to have a reason to take advantage of his shapeshifting to do crossdressing/genderbend chapters ☠️ i love to see it as him being nonbinary and i think it has a lot of backing, but its not canon or even "implied" at all.

theres a lot of other examples of this kind of thing in this fandom, like theres a lot of people who claim that kubokai are queer coded (its usually just a joke when people say things like "hehe my ship is so canon" but im talking about like... people who see yumekai and go "um 🤨 this is LITERALLY homophobic because erm um kubokai are basically canon and queer coded and you shipping one of them with a WOMAN is HOMOPHOBIC" lmfao) and i am actually just not even sure where this comes from because they dont have anything that can even be twisted into romantic subtext, theyre just a popular ship because they have a good friendship. which is great! but theyre like the LAST thing i wouldve expected people to claim as implied or canon. they are absolutely not. the only thing i can even think of that might make people think that is saiki saying they look gay in that one chapter ☠️

[aenor-llelo]

I've been reading your fox fall series and I've decided to pick your brain about the vessel-gendered and thunderus-tornadus things. But could you elaborate on those for me a little? I get the basic concept but I would like a more elaborate explanation please. Thank you in advance and I enjoy the series very much.

(second question first cus it's short) thundurus-tornadus is basically their word for a tsunami. a lot of weather events in this setting are basically considered acts of god.

(first question next because it's long) in foxfall, draconian gender operates on a trianary of which of the three tao dragons most represents their self-chosen role in life. things like trans/cisgender Do Not Exist in draconian culture because they do not factor for biological sex in how their society functions. that kind of information is considered taboo outside of lovers, doctors, or most immediate family. (hormone therapy and what we'd consider gender reassignment surgery exists, but they see it as matter of dysphoria intervention rather than a gender thing.)

sexuality also isn't something they define either. people marry or cohabitate with whoever, and it doesn't matter if that union produces children. draconians don't really care about the integrity of the bloodline, only if someone has been raised/taught in the draconian way.

(something like ingo and emmet, where they live together as a platonic civil partnership in all but name, is considered completely normal by draconian standards. it's much weirder that they're 30 years old and don't have any kids or apprentices.)

draconians as a whole will accept whatever pronouns they're assigned unless the individual finds it convenient, or even advantageous, to insist on a certain binary pronoun set when it exists in the area's language, but some dragonless choose to default to they/them for draconians out of respect to their gender privacy. precisely because they consider it private information, draconians take the genders/chosen presentation of the dragonless very seriously, since in their eyes knowing that kind of thing is an act of trust.

the setting as a whole thinks draconians are kind of mysterious. "there's this spiritual nomad culture that tames dragons, has genders we don't know about, and keeps huge parts of identities to their graves!" queer culture doesn't insist draconians are themselves a nonbinary/trans society because of the different circumstances, but draconians are considered cousins/friends of the queer community. in places where draconians are common, they're often a baby queer's first exposure to the concept of xenogenders and genderqueer individuals.

trianary semantics under the cut:

the first set of honorifics is fire/winter/storm, which is basically just an elemental vibecheck. which dragon to you kin? this sort of thing is figured out relatively early in childhood, but all of these aspects can be changed at any time if someone feels like they've fundamentally changed as a person.

the second is song/silence/roar. which do you choose to strive for- skill, patience/simplicity, or vigor?

then there's the base gender, hoard/vessel/stone.

hoard, the reshiramgender. Defined by power, knowledge, philosophy, art, parenthood (draconians consider the act of teaching to be the same as parenthood)

vessel, the kyuremgender. Defined by service, cold/ice/lack, taking aspects from everything, jack of all trades, becoming what is needed.

stone, the zekromgender. Defined by craft, skill, tradesmen, labor, hard work.

by pure semantics, draconian culture basically has nine possible self-determined genders meant to communicate the following in ascending order- what do you do in life, how do you do it, and why?

Ingo, fire-roar vessel. "for the sake of an honest world, i put my passion to realizing the ambition of others. show me your true form!"

emmet, storm-song vessel. "for the sake of an ideal world, i hone my skill to reveal the talent of others. let this be the perfect battle!"

drayden was once a winter-roar hoard, but nowadays is winter-silence hoard. "for the sake of inner peace, my wisdom is the strength i wield to teach and protect others." (the transition from roar to silence happened after his sister died.)

iris is winter-song hoard! "for the sake of harmony, my skills will hone and defend the world."

[bitsofsciencelife]

As usual, my mind has been blown after watching a video essay from Alexander Avila about how "conservatives" invented gender, my world has shifted. I've come to the conclusion that this modern dividing sex and gender as completely separate and exclusive terms is bad actually and has damaged our ability to accept fully the lgbtq+ diversity, especially in the gender spectrum. Gender theory actually has transphobic, misogynistic, gender-essentialists origins.

Because if we understood from the get-go that biological sex is actually so much more diverse, we would find ALL gender identities a natural consequence of this diversity and not as a human construct only. For example, if we saw the way non-hetero sexuality could be evolutionary advantageous in human communities (maybe with the care of the young like it happens with other species) or simply a random natural variation; or how not rare being intersex actually is, how a lot of people don't even know they're intersex and they might live their lives without knowing it, how in trans people certain parts of the brain show very small gender differences that match their gender identity more than their sex assigned at birth (we don't know the cause tho, more research is needed and this might also be related to sexual attraction); how the ammount of queer people has stayed basically consistent throughout human history, etc. And that's just humans. The diversity in nature is insane. (Humans are part of nature, btw. It could also help us fight this idea that we're entirely separate to other animals when we're also animals. That superiority is not doing anybody good.)

If we knew how much nature and biology don't care about our gender norms and ideas, I think it would be easier for young queers and conservatives to see how this "gender thing" is not just "woke identity politics" or a new human social invention. When we understand that this wonderful diversity has always been part of nature and humans, it becomes easier for the general public to accept queer people.

Imho, sex education when it comes to gender should start by stating the fact that queerness is inherent to both nature and humans. This is not to say we shouldn't discuss gender discrimination, gender expression, or acknowledge that gender is a social construct as well, distict to each human society, but separating gender and sex into neat, barely related categories is not what will liberate us and it's not a good strategy to teach about queerness. It hadn't really helped us that much so far, tbh.

Speaking from experience, it was that fundamental understanding of how much sex in humans isn't binary or divorced from gender, that made me finally become an ally to trans people (and eventually accept myself as nonbinary too), when before I had been raised conservative and I had very bad takes on the subject, I can tell you that.

I'm not saying this will solve all out discriminatory problems, obviously not, but it might help a little, especially in sexed. Biology does NOT support binary gender essentialism, never has, never did. And conservatives have been mad about it for decades.

[velvetvexations]

I HAVR A LOT OF THOUGHYS ABOUT "BINARY PRIVILEGE"

a lot of exorsexism-focused blogs really rail that it's a real thing but from my perspective as a transandrogynous, unaligned nb, it isn't any different than saying transmascs experience transmasc privilege, or that theres such a thing as "afab" or "amab" privilege

there are a lot of situations in which nonbinary people struggle uniquely, where binary trans people may not, but this depends A LOT on the binary and nonbinary people involved. when i was a kid, a binary trans boy essentially used my offered friendship for his own coming out/self discovery (to my knowledge i was the only out trans person at my school at the time), dumped me as a friend entirely, and i wouldnt be so irritated if it wasn't for the fact that our schools' gsa treated him like he was the only trans person there. myself and another person that was questioning nonbinary CONSTANTLY were begging to be respected, to not be deadnamed and misgendered, and people were CONSTANTLY speaking over us. but they rarely deadnamed or misgendered him, and corrected themselves when they did.

i think experiences like this are where this idea of binary privilege comes from, but "privilege" implies access to systemic advantages that nonbinary people don't have, which is a slightly different conversation. this ftm boy did not have a supportive family, and much worse dysphoria than me. he was also deadnamed and misgendered and degendered by almost every teacher we shared, same as me. his being binary trans did not give him any actual material privilege over me. he was just treated differently in a certain context, where i was treated worse in that same context

another example people usually talk abt is clinics/doctors offering hrt to binary trans people but refusing to prescribe it to nonbinary trans people. i personally have never experienced this! i am very very lucky that i have access to a queer informed consent clinic with a robust financial aid program. i am lucky that my doctor is able to and willing to prescribe testosterone, and that he trusts my ability to guide my own transition. there are plenty of binary trans people all over that are not similarly lucky and there are a lot of reasons why both nonbinary and binary trans people get denied hrt. this is a case where exorsexism may uniquely affect the transphobia experienced as compared to a binary person experiencing the same transphobia, but it does not actually translate to "binary privilege" imo bc hrt is still being gatekept in this hypothetical. the differences deserve to be talked about, but acting as if binary trans people hold unique power over us is just... it's not true, and it makes it more difficult to actually have these conversations

(this isnt even getting into other factors like gender nonconformity or sexuality, like passing or not passing. my partner is nb transmasc and stealth; does he have binary privilege bc he is comfortable being read as a man and respected by our cis friends where i am not? do they experience exorsexism bc people refuse to acknowledge their nonbinary gender? where do we draw the line?)

hi back again abt binary privilege i DO think binary trans ppl on here especially never grew out of their transmed phases and when u see someone mocking or deriding "binary privilege" they usually end up being super exorsexist in my experience? that depends very heavily on the tone they use when talking about it, like theres a hugeee difference between "i dont agree that i experience privilege for being binary trans" and "can you believe the xe/xir catgenders are saying binary privilege is a thing" (though its often more subtl than that lol)

Thank you for your thoughts anon!

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

hi its me again. i meant to say that if you have any more thoughts on femme vetinari (or even... butch vimes...) i'd love to hear them bc i think about her a lot

HI AGAIN. OH DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. SORRY IF THIS IS LONG I'M JUST HYPE.

okay okay so like. to me ANY iteration of vetinari is fully confident in terms of gender expression. canon vetinari is so unshakeable, so immune to public opinion, that i think even a femme vetinari and/or a trans vetinari would have to have the same unshakability (spelling??); it'd feel out of character otherwise. femme vetinari may be ridiculed for occupying a position typically occupied by men but she is UNBOTHERED and probably using the public discomfort to her advantage in some way. also vetinari being a woman would not affect her asceticism in any way, she's still doing the simplest hairdo and dressing in black and calling it a day. any iteration of trans vetinari acts the same in my mind.

the most interesting and actually new thing that a female vetinari introduces is that dynamic of a female leader in a male-dominated position. of course the position is historically dominated by tyrannical murderers, but she still has that social pressure to deal with/manipulate.

(i also love thinking about the social pressure that an openly trans vetinari has to deal with, or a genderfluid vetinari, gnc vetinari, etc., etc., it's not just gender shenanigans it's politics and it has implications, etc.)

i think the ultimate thing with vetinari is that her job position is not defined by gender or gender expression. 'Patrician' is an isolated field. it's what the individual makes of it.

but vimes...

oh, vimes...

oh please talk to me about butch vimes. in ankh-morpork being a cop is heavily defined by maleness. this may not be beneficial, this may not work in individual contexts (with specific examples like cheery, or in a broader sense the mental toll that trying to perform properly as a man can take on an individual), but it's how it is. and i say maleness, not just masculinity, because with angua's introduction we see that even adopting masculinity (in her case acting like the other officers, making crude jokes, etc.) does not allow for conformity (angua is still ostracized as a woman before her werewolf identity is known). which makes butch vimes extremely interesting because the dynamic of the Watch means that vimes as butch woman, even as hyper-competent as she is, would still be an outsider because of her gender. canon vimes latches onto copperhood as an identity; it's tied up with his masculinity; and with butch vimes it would be the same, being a copper and being masc cannot be separated, but she would probably then feel that being a woman couldn't be separated from being a copper either, which might actually start to change the dynamic of the watch............ oh lord i'm having thoughts. and what of cases like he/him butch vimes or nonbinary vimes or or or...... if we're extrapolating from canon vimes, all of these versions of vimes would still wrap their gender identities and expressions up in the identity of copper, with varying effects.

all these cases also introduce a likely paradox: that police have and do persecute visibly queer people in ankh-morpork, but that vimes is one of them. this actually fits nicely with vimes's overall attempt to make policing a genuinely just practice

the same paradox would exist for a visibly queer vetinari (like my fav transfem vetinari that i'm writing): the heads of state have presumably never protected queer people in any way, and now vetinari is both queer and head of state. (BUT AGAIN - being a patrician is an isolated job, there's less of a 'culture' surrounding it - whereas the Watch has a pretty definite culture that can change but is difficult to change bc of it's a collection of people not just one person)

lastly i'm gonna rant about my favorite case of transfem butch vimes (i am having so much fun writing her). a vimes who is very comfortable in masculinity but not in male gender identity. who has to wrestle with this fact. who will relentlessly question herself because she doesn't really want to change her presentation. who will relentlessly question whether she can be a real watchman if this is the case. who, if she comes out, will have to deal with a watch that has always seen her as male and will have difficulty adjusting pronouns, if she wants them adjusted, because she isn't changing presentation. who will have to deal with fred colon (lmao). there's so much potential for TENSION!!!

anyway!!! you asked mainly about vetinari but got a lot about vimes. i think the Thing with both of them - femme vetinari and butch vimes - is that they're most thought-provoking and actually Meaningful beyond just a gender-swap when you lean into the tension that their identities introduce in an otherwise unchanged ankh-morpork. thank you SO much for this ask it has been SO fun and healing to rant about this

[redheadbigshoes]

"Male lesbians and lesboys do no harm" if I'm in a space designated for lesbians and other sapphics to meet and a MAN hits on me I'm going to feel so, so, so, so, so unsafe and violated. I don't care how you dress it up as you "feeling queer" or whatever. You are not out allies, you are not our community, you're predatory men using progressive language to mask your predatory intentions and pressure lesbians into accepting you in, otherwise they're "evil terfs and exclusionists".

It's a certain kind of insidious misogyny. Pressuring your way into a minority group or they'll be considered a bad woman a bad lesbian. Pressuring them at the threat of a hate campaign when lesbians and women in particular have ALWAYS been at a higher level of scrutiny, given less chances to "mess up". Threatening them with hate so that they shut up about the discomfort. So they shut up and accept men.

They weaponize it. They're using the belief that "lesbians are inherently terfs", something that is widely believed but simply untrue at the presence of trans women lesbians and nonbinary lesbians, to their advantage. "I'll dress up my words pretty, say 'no, it's not homophobic for a man to call himself a lesbian, it's actually regressive to deny me anything', and when we don't sit down and accept it, they call upon a bias and a hate campaign.

The vile attitude that comes from calling lesbians exclusionary and bad for not being attracted to men is the same that comes from the men against the me too movements, the kind where men get upset when a woman refuses sex for whatever reason, the same kind where a woman turns down a man at the bar.

It denies an autonomy, a right for a sexual group to exist outside of an oppressive force. Lesbians have long found a freedom when they realize they don't have to live that life with a man, that they don't have to think about marrying one or kissing one or living that life (And of course the incredible love of women is a factor, I can go on about that for ages, but another time).

To claim men can be lesbians is tying up those patriarchal boots and stomping on that. "No, those evil women cannot exclude me, they can't live outside of me, and they're evil because they think they can."

"That woman cannot live outside of me, otherwise she's just some slutty bitch for worse men"

"Women cannot make spaces unavailable to men."

"Women cannot be unavailable to men."

Different hues, but the color wheel is still a circle, huh?

You said it all so well. I couldn’t have said it better.

[the-old-boneyard]

this person posted this when

I had been dating their sibling for over a decade, married them and came out as a trans man to her and her family. after

Her and her MAGA family completely abandoned their trans sibling/child over literally nothing. Also SARAH and her girlfriend Suzeen disparaged my partner online by calling them a liar when HEARTSIB OR NORTHSTARFAN had NEVER spoken to them. She is transphobic and they’re both narcissists.

the world is falling apart for trans people. I watch my partner weep every fucking day because their family has betrayed and abandoned them because they refuse to take accountability or even just apologize one time for ANYTHING they’ve done. They won’t speak about it and Sarah must love the attention it nets her and her girlfriend.

and these people still go around, acting like they’re on some fucking moral high ground compared to everybody else when they literally do nothing but perpetuate transphobia and fetishize us among their family and their peers. They silently force trans folx to kill themselves so that they can keep getting exactly what they want while avoiding accountability. My partner and I have attempted su**ide multiple times in the years that we have both missed our families and neither of them care and they all know about it. After we lost everything we were lured to Portland. We were taken advantage of here and we were discarded like garbage.

I’m tired of it. End the transphobia and using trans bodies as fetishism. Stop hiding and take accountability for what you are doing. Stop being selfish and fix yourselves because YOU TWO are very much a huge part of the problem with enabling this shit and you two need to own up to it.

I’d love to hear from either of you but for years neither of you have had the spine to say a word to us and I doubt you’ll start now. I figure if the world is gonna go to shit. I’m gonna let everybody know exactly how I feel before it’s too late. I think Suzeen is a coward and I think Sarah is a narcissistic selfish person who will never learn empathy and will always claim to be a perpetual victim in every situation.

at least @suilesbian will be there to throw hands at the trans sibling who has nothing and no family while Sarah Ann has a home in a red state and a car and a job and her girlfriend is there to talk shit about people the bitch never met.

if you do throw hands I will be there to protect my nonbinary spouse and I will not be very nice to you. See, when I moved in with Sarah in 2010. It was because my alcoholic mother beat the shit out of me and called me a fat queer Cunt because I was dating Sarah’s sibling. I had nowhere to go, so I moved in with the reformed Presbyterian family and had to live in the closet under Sarah‘s fucking rule while she constantly threatened to out me and my partner to her parents and I had nowhere to go in Florida, where my abusive parents dragged me previously. Since I had no friends or family in Florida aside from the ones that beat the fuck out of me I had to drop out of Indian River State College and moved to Philadelphia with Sarah‘s family still living in the closet until about 2015 when I finally got a job where I could make enough money and support me and my partner .

We moved to Michigan and my partner was finally able to come out to their family. I learned that my extremely abusive father wasn’t going to ever change and he lied to my partner and I about giving us a safe home to stay in and instead gave it to his girlfriend who burned it down. My aunt stole my car and put 5000 miles on it. The therapist that I had told me I needed to call the police so Sarah’s parents graciously told my partner and I we could stay with them to get back on our feet one last time and we were never allowed to ask for help again.

We took the offer and moved back to Philly, then in with Sarah, who was a nightmare to live with, and who treated us like dirt. She took pictures of me without asking and sent them to Suzeen while we were sitting in the living room and talking, and she would whisper about us to her parents while we were within earshot. We would go into rooms and then she would go into the next room and move rooms to be close to the rooms that we were in and then inject herself into our conversations.

We left again and Sarah demanded $300 from me because her cat Louie shit and pissed all over the floor and she wouldn’t clean it up and so she blamed me for it because I’m the fat trans one I guess. The upstairs carpet was ruined because he shit and pissed all over our clothes up there and downstairs in the sunroom. I had already gotten on the floor and scrub the sunroom carpet before, and he just started shitting and pissing immediately after so I gave up she expected us to clean up after her cat who ruined our clothes Because we also had two cats. She had three so it’s five cats and one fucking house.

I just paid it because I didn’t want to ruin another family dynamic. My own had been destroyed. My partner has been able to get on their feet and we’re living in Portland now as far away from these people as we possibly can be and yet every single day we are reminded of the injustice is that happen to us by seeing trans people labeled as dishonest and liars every single day when they’re telling the truth about shit that they’ve been through and then they’re ignored by the people that they’re trying to get justice from.

So I’ve had to learn a few things and if you really wanna throw hands, I encourage you to come and find me. I would love to speak to all of you at once if I could. I don’t like these bully circles You guys have on the Internet, where you do this shit and then you pretend like you have no idea.

you all need to grow the fuck up. Do you wanna throw hands bitch? I got a pussy and I will fuck bitches and dudes up. Come at me. Not remotely fucking afraid of you don’t worry.

[callofdelulu]

I'm trying to figure out how to internally deal with the fact that my whole existence, everything that I am, is politicized right now. Blatantly.

I'm an nonbinary/agender person. There's an executive order trying to define sex and gender. The fucking debate on if nonbinary people are "trans enough" to be included under the trans umbrella is coming back. Suicide rates for transgender and queer folks are rising as more safe places, like Stonewall, remove mentions of trans and queer folks.

I am AFAB. Hundreds of laws, bills, and executive orders are talking about what I'm allowed to do with my biology and what others are allowed to do with my body. Reinforcing the idea that I need to mindlessly pump out more bodies for the system to take advantage of.

I take multiple mental health medications. I was against meds for a long time, and it's been almost three years now, and I wouldn't go back. I've grown and become a more successful person in my own definition, and now some asshole who doesn't believe in vaccines is making moves to destroy that support system.

I work in a heavily regulated industry (prosthetics and medical devices), and everything that DOGE is doing is threatening my job, my work, and my way of life even without being tied directly to the government.

I play video games, read fanfiction, and engage in fandom regularly. The more they delve into criminalizing 'indecency', the more every single escape I have will be regulated, changed, and controlled by laws. But don't worry, those kids I'll be forced to have will still be able to get murdered in schools.

Being white and seeing all this happen does not bring any sense of privilege. This is watching a system of government do everything in it's power to villify me entirely so they feel less guilty betraying their "own kind". There is no safe skin color, no safe ideology, and no safe system of government that will agree to protect all of me - only parts of me that will serve their own agenda.

My entire existence is politicized. It's making me sick, and that's what's paralyzing me. How do I decide what part of me that's more important than the rest?

[i-dont-know-what-im-doing-2024]

Trans Resources

I wanted to make a little post with some of the resources I’ve found that have helped me so far in getting some of the things I need. These might apply more to transmasc situations but some should work for everyone!

1. https://www.thetrevorproject.org

I haven’t used this one yet but I am planning to, they have counselors available that you can talk to or text which sounds really great. If anyone has used them feel free to reblog so people can hear about your experience, if not I’ll update when I’ve used it.

2. https://strandsfortrans.org

This is a website where local businesses that are LGBTQ+ friendly can register so you can look through trans affirming salons and barbers in your area. I was surprised that there were a few options near me and it made it less scary to try and book an appointment.

I didn’t want to wait for my usual hair stylist to have an opening and a trans creator I like made a good point that if someone has always cut your hair and doesn’t know you’re trans or nonbinary they might naturally make the style more feminine (in my case) which is why I wanted someone new. At the same time walking into a traditional barbershop when I still have long hair and don’t even have a binder yet would’ve been way too anxiety inducing so this definitely has helped me.

3. https://www.pointofpride.org/binding

This page from point of pride has a lot of helpful resources about binding including how to do it safely and different brands where you can purchase a binder. I’ve also heard good things from some online creators about Spectrum Outfitters and UNTAG for people with larger chests. I don’t own a binder yet so I don’t have a personal opinion but hopefully this gives people a starting point with a few brands they can look into.

This website also has a free binder program as do many others but unfortunately the waiting times are usually months to years. I still applied just to be on the list and I’m hoping to find another way to get a binder in the meantime.

4. https://pflag.org

This is just the National PFLAG home page but I recommend looking at local branches if there are any near you as they offer support groups, scholarships, and might be able to point you towards services that help in your area.

5. Local Resources

I’m not putting a link for the ones I’ve used because I don’t want people to know where I live but I can say some of the services near me I had no idea about but seem like they’ll be really helpful. Now I had the advantage of already knowing a few organizations in my area to look up but generally a lot of the LGBTQ+ organizations also have resource pages pointing to other local and national organizations that might be helpful.

Personally I found a mini grant for $100 where the organization has you fill out a survey and put links for 1-3 items up to $100 of gender affirming products. I put down a binder and a masc shirt and jacket off Amazon. I don’t know what the waiting list is for this but I was excited it included clothes since almost everything I own is excessively feminine. Local organizations might have shorter waiting lists if they serve a smaller population though they also have less funding so it could be a toss up.

Another local service that I would say is probably the most helpful for me so far (although I haven’t had my appointment yet, just booked it) was a clothing exchange. This place provides totally free gender affirming clothes to queer people which is incredible because I’m an unemployed college student and have been feeling uncomfortable with my wardrobe for a while but can’t afford anything else. They didn’t require me to donate anything either so if you still like your old clothes or need them for safety reasons you can still get help. I was also able to book the appointment with the name and pronouns I’m considering which is cool because I might be able to actually get a feel for them? I can definitely say that getting the confirmation email to Conor for the first time gave me big feelings.

Anyway that’s all my advice/resources for now, although I’ll probably make a second post or add to this one if I find more things that help. I’m definitely someone who processes through serial researching so there could be more coming your way in the future. Also please reblog with anything else that has helped you or your experiences with the above services for other people to find ☺️

[gnometa233]

I think it's really telling that that person took "Don't assume someone is queer based on their appearance" as "Just looking queer does not mean you're actually LGBT"

Instead of yknow, the part that affects me every day of "There are queer people around you who don't look like a walking pride parade but are still very much LGBT"

To anyone who sees me I probably just look like some tall gamer girl nerd (okay thats a bit of a givaway that im a trans woman but thats with meta knowledge) but like I experience gender and sexuality counter to the social norm, so maybe dont assume that someone isnt LGBT just because they dont look like a dictionary portait of flagging.

I know I'm super fucking tired of people assuming I'm not a lesbian just because I'm not masculine presenting or wearing my pride flag pins that day and everyone thinks feminine women MUST like men. RRGHHH...

Unless you're that person who seems pretty insecure about it lol

Or hell, even just talking about the fact that you engage with lgbtq+ culture and support smaller lgbtq+ artists (many of which are my friends) means the most interesting thing about you is that your lgbtq+. Like, wow, i can't believe learning and giving back to people who need money to survive have no personality

Clothes have always been a source of contention in the lgbtq+ community and it still is today. Blend in? Stand out? Flag each other? There are advantages and disadvantages to both.

And you're absolutely right. I think people have forgotten the art of stealthing, which I know a LOT of people do. One of my friends i met in physical therapy looked like your normal, jock, average teenage boy, until i learned he had already completed physical transition and was on T for years prior. Another one of my friends looks like a stock, computer nerd guy, but they're nonbinary (and possibly a trans girl, they're thinking about it, but either way I'd support them, you'd actually like them I think!), Another one of my friends looks like your standard straight girl who sometimes wears croptops, and she's bisexual!

I think what bothers me the most about that post when they responded to my tags is the fact that they were so...dismissive. The sort of implication there is that everyone should want to signal to other lgbtq+ people that they're lgbtq, or else they're boring. Which can be really, really damaging, especially to those who do want to remain stealth.

Anyways if that person thinks i'm boring, let them. Sucks to suck, but I know I have a rich, inner and outer life and diverse interests. Some of us didn't realize we were lgbtq+ until later in life. We had to form a personality.

[monkeymanproductions]

MTO in Podplane newsletter!

You should all be reading the @podplane newsletter already - the amazing @starplanes puts it out focusing on shows with trans / nonbinary creators! Go find it and subscribe if you don't already. <3

They had a really nice writeup about Moonbase Theta, Out in this last issue! I'll quote below:

✈️ Moonbase Theta, Out is a queer sci-fi epic telling the story of the last active Moonbase under a repressive corporate system, their shutdown and reawakening, and a revolutionary Plan to take control of their own existence. Through later seasons, the struggle expands to include uprisings on Earth as well, other Moonbases being brought into the conflict, and a shadowy ex-corporate figure attempting to manipulate all sides for his own advantage. The two-part series finale beings airing on August 20! This show has been running for over 5 years now, and it feels like the end of an era! I love the characters in this story, and it's been wonderful watching them grow throughout the show. (Expect for [REDACTED] which broke my heart!!).

[punemy-spotted]

Hiya, its Athena for Thursday Ask-A-Thon over at @ask-a-thon: How have your experiences in life shaped your writing?

Oh Athena.

Athena.

This question means the world to me, I cannot tell you how much. As usual, I'm going to ramble, because this is absolutely a special interest of mine in writing and fandom and boy howdy do my experiences shape my writing.

As always, answers below the cut, and general content warning for gender-based violence, workplace sexual harassment, and trauma.

My experiences are my writing. Especially as someone who writes Reader-Insert, I'm a big advocate for writers to write their catharsis and their experiences.

While it is certainly appropriate (and polite, in certain circumstances) to write "neutral" Readers who have no defined physical attributes so that the person reading the fic can slot themselves into that blank space, I also constantly encourage writers — especially writers of color; disabled writers; queer, nonbinary, and trans writers; and writers who write for male readers — to write their story too. If we can imagine ourselves as Avengers or loved by them, we can also imagine ourselves immersed in cultures we did not grow up in — it only increases our empathy and understanding of the world outside our "bubble" if we do. For my experience, as a Desi writer, I don't know how to be anything but a Desi writer. My culture is embedded into my bones, there are so many things I do as a Desi-American that non-Desi folk don't do (and vice versa) that sometimes I'm shocked when I talk to folks who have grown up outside of the little Desi Bubble I grew up in (and shocked when I talk to folks who were even more immersed in Desi culture, because the Midwestern United States is not exactly a haven for Dawoodi Bohra Muslims, and that leads to a weird relationship with one's own culture). I am open about the fact that my Readers are generally coded as Desi and always invite non-Desi folk to read the stories to get a glimpse into that life. The body is a shell, and though it may change from writer to writer, the reader is still themselves and their soul can travel dimensions.

As for concrete examples of that, boy howdy, let's take a look at my whole Masterlist, shall we? The Cut is about my experience as an FGM survivor and how FGM completely altered the way I engage with my body as a being able to feel pleasure — and therefore, what it means to be loved, to forgive, and be forgiven. In that same vein, For Blue Skies is a story about facing Ikaris — an Eternal, a being who masqueraded as an ancient god for so many years — and knowing that he could have prevented something like the tradition of FGM but did not, for whatever reason. One of my most popular fic series, The Price you Pay, features a Reader character who, like me, was taken advantage of by a powerful man when she was in a vulnerable position compared to him, upending her career — she and I made very different decisions, but the root of our pain is the same. One of the first ever fics I published on Tumblr, Everything You Stand For, was an exploration of catharsis, of how the repeated denial of justice could lead someone like me to side with someone like Helmut Zemo, because when doing things the right way fails... how far are you willing to go to quell the fire in your chest?

In a way, every fic I have ever written has carried a piece of me. My culture, my language, my pain and pleasures. When I share, I share not just the thing I am passionate about in the form of the story, but the emotional context that drove me to think it up and create the world. So... how have my experiences shaped my writing? They've defined it.

[dire-coyote]

I feel so awkward ever talking about "my place in the community" because I'm such a shut in. I do go to a queer pop-up market near where I live to support my local crafty queers. I try to follow queer artists and even buy prints or patches from them. I've been in a VERY queer t4t relationship for 10 years with a self defined "trans nonbinary queer person (tme) ", and we have also shared a "he/it entity" boyfriend for about 2 years now.

I don't like the most to talk about my own suffering because despite everything I know I'm extremely lucky. I'm also Caucasian with blue eyes, so like I don't ever face cultural oppression. (I've always been encouraged to take pride in my Serbian roots even though I'm like generations removed from that part of my family.) I got hrt super easily around my 30th birthday, and that was probably the most oppression I faced (the being told that I couldn't be that, and being told my family would literally kill me if I tried that was put into my head throughout my childhood).

I have been exposed to a lot of suffering in my time. I've seen how the small town I was born in (and my mother's family) treated my mom after she had to give me up. I've seen and heard a small fraction of the suffering black folks go through in New York (from my time in job core, sharing a room with two really nice dudes from Syracuse and Buffalo respectively). I've seen a fraction of the idea of "inter-race racism" while there as well.

I do the best I can to understand people who are different than me. It's kind of part of my religion to treat everyone with as much empathy and understanding as my body can handle. I try to unlearn harmful things, and not make assumptions.

I also know that I'll NEVER be free of certain advantages I have, regardless of how things turn out. I may NEVER be fully free of the racism, misogyny, and general bigotry I was raised around and lead to believe was normal.

The thing that sucks about interpreting this is that I kind of "over read" things I see as "directly my fault". But like I don't want a fucking pat on the head for doing the bare minimum people should do. I want to be better. I want to be less worried about interacting with the wonderful people I live around out of a sense of paranoia. I'm never afraid I'm going to be hurt, or whatever, my worry is that I'm in the way. I worry I can only do harm with my "weird smile". I worry my ignorance will always keep me behind glass.

[redeyes-and-technicize]

OC Masterlist

under read more to save your scrolling

(excuse the lack of that signature scarring on the Maelstromers. still getting the hang of drawing it)

Lavinia "Vin" / "V" Rogers

she/they/he/it | genderflux, bi | mid 20s

A nomad who parted ways with her old clan, she's my canon V and more or less follows the game storyline. Clever, always looking for an angle for leverage; even if she hates someone, she'll often approach the situation tactfully to try and make an ally - or at least to gain a favor. She's a newer character, so I don't know much about her yet!

(first image by sebbartos on ArtFight)

Charlie "Spider" Viera

he/him | gay, poly | 45 | Toyhouse

SO: Rhee Hyunwoo, husband (partner's OC)

Affiliation: Maelstrom -> Unaffiliated

Occupation: Ripperdoc -> Bouncer

(ignore the outfit, was doing an outfit meme haha)

Varten "Var" Hayes

he/it | demiboy, pan, poly | late 20's

SO: Zacarías "Zac" Reyes, husband (partner's OC) Identical Twin: Soren Hayes

An unaffiliated ripper from Heywood, he was kidnapped by Maelstrom since they were down a good ripper. One escape attempt too many, they ended up forcing some pretty bad chrome on him as "punishment." He's later broken out by an acquaintance of his sibling who she'd hired for it.

He stops ripper work entirely because of what happened with Maelstrom, and instead starts picking up merc work. Zac, the man who rescued him, becomes very close to Var and the two eventually start dating; eventually marry and adopt an orphaned little girl.

Used to be rather even-tempered, if a bit sarcastic or huffy. After Maelstrom, it's more reactive; can be jumpy or aggressive depending on the situation. More standoffish, can be hard to talk it down from just shooting someone to be done with it.

Soren Hayes - "CH4RM"

she/he/they | genderqueer, queer | late 20s

Identical Twin: Varten Hayes

Former joytoy who started getting into netrunning to try and find a way out of it. She ended by blackmailing her manager, sending info of his treatment of employees to a Mox friend, and was ultimately taken in as a Mox to protect her when said manager retaliated. He gets pretty into 'running after, and has a setup for it in Var's clinic so it can keep an eye on him while he's under.

Typically calculating, looking for ways to turn a fight to their advantage. Talks to most as if they're a dear friend or lover, with a smile usually present. Cunning, flirtatious, and not afraid to use his body to get what he wants.

Cardar "Din" Simons

he/him | trans man, gay | late 30s to early 40s

QPP: Flick

Maelstromer, and the brute of any ops he goes on - though those are few and far between since his main focus is as a bouncer at the Totentanz. He's very impulsive and not the brightest, but has Flick to help steer him in the right direction.

Really likes explosives....

Mateo "Flick" Torres

it/its | transfemme agender, aroace | mid 30s

QPP: Din

Maelstromer, and bartender at the Totentanz. More brains than brawn, it's instead very clever and quick on its feet. It keeps Din's impulsiveness in check. More likely to duck behind the counter when a fight breaks out and wait for someone else to deal with it.

"Snakebite"

she/her | trans woman, bi | late 50s to early 60s

SO: Deceased

A Maelstrom mechanic - but also not afraid to get her hands dirty. She's very good with both fixing a vehicle, and also ripping apart someone else's chrome. Despite it, she's surprisingly friendly by Maelstrom standards.

(not completely accurate - especially optics - but the closest i can get until i draw them myself)

"Needles"

they/them | nonbinary, aro bi | mid-70s

Maelstrom ripperdoc, formerly stationed at Heaven Med, but moved to All Foods after the deaths (or "death" in Spider's case) of the gang's previous two head rippers so they could take over as lead ripper. Has seen a lot of shit over their life; no-nonsense, and takes their job very seriously. They're an old fuck by Maelstrom standards and they know it.

There's a joke among some Maelstromers that they "replaced one scruffy redhead with a different scruffy redhead."

(I'll be working on individual posts for each character that I can link to; as I do that I'll cut out the descriptions to shorten this up a bit. especially considering that I plan to add at least a few more)