#THIS IS MY QUEER NONBINARY TRANS ADVANTAGE

[dkettchen]

me waking up in a cold sweat at 6:20am: "I should get evening classes to be a hair dresser & training to be a makeup artist to be my own hair/make-up person on photo/video shoots and defy industry's single-gender-dominated-and-not-improving department segregation system like the all-rounder online creator that I am 👀😤"

[seeresultssweep]

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

ik this blog is dead but yknow what, im gonna take advantage of my following to make an important post:

this pride month, i want you to educate yourselves & support the "controversial" queers.

& no i dont mean people with contradictory labels or xeno pronouns or those who use outdated/offensive terminology. i mean the people that even the most sex-positive, pro-kink, self-proclaimed perverts think are dangerous freaks who deserve to die.

i mean the paraphiles & people with taboo or stigmatized kinks/fetishes. i mean the people into the most taboo & stigmatized things like children, animals, corpses, & incest. i mean the people into violent things like murder, gore, rape, & abuse. i mean the people into unsanitary things like piss, shit, vomit, sweat, & snot. i mean the people into things that are constantly memed on like feet, armpits, bodily excretions, cartoon characters, pool toys, & plushies. i mean the people with attractions that would be illegal, immoral, or downright impossible to act out in real life.

no attraction is inherently harmful or evil. there are safe ways to indulge in these things such as fictional content, roleplay with consenting partners, & custom sex toys.

no, i dont think paraphilias are lgbt+ identities. they cant really be grouped into the same category or treated the same way as being gay or trans. but paraphilias are undeniably queer, as theyre highly stigmatized attractions that fall outside the norm. paraphiles face far more violence & hatred than any other lgbtq identity you can think of. it is still normalized & accepted to subject paraphiles to abusive treatments that have been proven to be cruel & ineffective, such as conversion therapy, forced sterilization, & excessive medication. even queer people forget their own history & advocate for this kind of abuse for paraphiles. there is no safe space for paraphiles to seek support, acceptance, or community the way lgbtq has pride, & that's a damn shame.

& believe it or not, many (maybe even most!) paraphiles are gay, bi, pan, poly, trans, nonbinary, aro, ace, & any other lgbtq identity you can think of.

so yes, paraphiles belong at pride. spend this month unlearning preconceived biases & educate yourself on what paraphilias actually are & how theyre not inherently dangerous.

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

RADQUEERS & TRANSIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU

[oceanwithouthermoon]

okay some people genuinely really need to accept that the ONLY "queer coding" in saiki k is when they make gay jokes. there is NO other intentional queer coding, and i think people dont understand that claiming rep where it isnt there is much much more harmful than you think it is... just headcanon! its fun! you guys act like youre going to fucking die if you ship/hc something not canon, so you convince everyone that everything you say is canon ☠️ its literally insane

theres a HUGE difference between a headcanon or ship having what YOU see as canon backing, and a hc or ship that is actually implied or canon...

the only ship that you could argue is implied in saiki k is terusai, thats literally it, you could potentially make an argument that yumekai could be reciprocated towards the end, satoumiya, or MAYBE mikosai, but im pretty sure thats it...

nonbinary saiki is one of my personal favorite headcanons (one of the only ones i pretty much ALWAYS have in mind when talking or writing about him, it's practically a given) and i think it has pretty good canon backing, but its not ACTUALLY implied.

hes FAIRLY certain that his biological sex is male, and all evidence points to that, but he doesnt know and specifically says that he doesnt know what his true gender is... he clearly has absolutely zero discomfort with masculinity OR femininity, doesnt know or care about his gender, and is comfortable with either sex... he seems very happy to just be either...

seems like pretty solid evidence, but you also have to realize that there is literally zero chance that the author intended for saiki to be read as nonbinary, or trans in any way, this was literally just an excuse for plot and to have a reason to take advantage of his shapeshifting to do crossdressing/genderbend chapters ☠️ i love to see it as him being nonbinary and i think it has a lot of backing, but its not canon or even "implied" at all.

theres a lot of other examples of this kind of thing in this fandom, like theres a lot of people who claim that kubokai are queer coded (its usually just a joke when people say things like "hehe my ship is so canon" but im talking about like... people who see yumekai and go "um 🤨 this is LITERALLY homophobic because erm um kubokai are basically canon and queer coded and you shipping one of them with a WOMAN is HOMOPHOBIC" lmfao) and i am actually just not even sure where this comes from because they dont have anything that can even be twisted into romantic subtext, theyre just a popular ship because they have a good friendship. which is great! but theyre like the LAST thing i wouldve expected people to claim as implied or canon. they are absolutely not. the only thing i can even think of that might make people think that is saiki saying they look gay in that one chapter ☠️

[goblincow]

The first ever AMAZON STRIKE in the UK is one week away - and they need your support!

Respectfully asking if I can get a bunch of notes on this so I can show my phone when I go to the rally and let them see how much support they have! ✊

And here are the Amazon strike fund details to donate if you're able:

Name - GMB Midland & East Coast

Bank - Unity Trust

Sort Code - 60-83-01

A/c No - 33010410

Ref - Amazon

I'm pretty sure I know how this works:

Like to charge, reblog to cast!

Update:

Thanks everyone who has responded to show your support, here's a link to an interview with one of the GMB union officials earlier this morning after Amazon workers walked out at 00:00.

I will update again later today when I visit the picket, but as this is doing numbers here's a link to the official donation page: stick it to Amazon and show your support for the workers! Solidarity ✊

Update 2:

Some great fighting talk from union speakers willing to take on Amazon.

Strikers told me that amazon managers and bosses have been intimidating staff & taking advantage of the fact that many workers are on zero hour contracts & many are immigrants and they speak a lot of different languages, so they've been lining the hallways to watch them as they leave shifts and lying about the union by saying the union is threatening people and beating them up, all to pressure them to stay silent and be too afraid to communicate so they don't go on strike with their colleagues. But they wont win - the strike was national news, from Philip Schofield talking about Jeff Bezos only offering a 50p raise from his billions on This Morning to major news coverage throughout the day. At one point we were live on Channel 4!

I told workers and union officials that over a thousand people from tumblr who are mostly queer/trans/nonbinary/otherwise lgbtq+ wanted them to know that they support the Amazon strikers.

One striker seemed surprised by this and I got to talk to him about how lgbtq+ people are working class too, how lgbtq+ rights are working class rights, how none of us are free from exploitation until we all are, so no wonder the gay website supports you, and he seemed to really take that on board.

All the workers were grateful for everyone who showed up and thank you all for your support - this is just the start.

Fuck Jeff Bezos

[velvetvexations]

I HAVR A LOT OF THOUGHYS ABOUT "BINARY PRIVILEGE"

a lot of exorsexism-focused blogs really rail that it's a real thing but from my perspective as a transandrogynous, unaligned nb, it isn't any different than saying transmascs experience transmasc privilege, or that theres such a thing as "afab" or "amab" privilege

there are a lot of situations in which nonbinary people struggle uniquely, where binary trans people may not, but this depends A LOT on the binary and nonbinary people involved. when i was a kid, a binary trans boy essentially used my offered friendship for his own coming out/self discovery (to my knowledge i was the only out trans person at my school at the time), dumped me as a friend entirely, and i wouldnt be so irritated if it wasn't for the fact that our schools' gsa treated him like he was the only trans person there. myself and another person that was questioning nonbinary CONSTANTLY were begging to be respected, to not be deadnamed and misgendered, and people were CONSTANTLY speaking over us. but they rarely deadnamed or misgendered him, and corrected themselves when they did.

i think experiences like this are where this idea of binary privilege comes from, but "privilege" implies access to systemic advantages that nonbinary people don't have, which is a slightly different conversation. this ftm boy did not have a supportive family, and much worse dysphoria than me. he was also deadnamed and misgendered and degendered by almost every teacher we shared, same as me. his being binary trans did not give him any actual material privilege over me. he was just treated differently in a certain context, where i was treated worse in that same context

another example people usually talk abt is clinics/doctors offering hrt to binary trans people but refusing to prescribe it to nonbinary trans people. i personally have never experienced this! i am very very lucky that i have access to a queer informed consent clinic with a robust financial aid program. i am lucky that my doctor is able to and willing to prescribe testosterone, and that he trusts my ability to guide my own transition. there are plenty of binary trans people all over that are not similarly lucky and there are a lot of reasons why both nonbinary and binary trans people get denied hrt. this is a case where exorsexism may uniquely affect the transphobia experienced as compared to a binary person experiencing the same transphobia, but it does not actually translate to "binary privilege" imo bc hrt is still being gatekept in this hypothetical. the differences deserve to be talked about, but acting as if binary trans people hold unique power over us is just... it's not true, and it makes it more difficult to actually have these conversations

(this isnt even getting into other factors like gender nonconformity or sexuality, like passing or not passing. my partner is nb transmasc and stealth; does he have binary privilege bc he is comfortable being read as a man and respected by our cis friends where i am not? do they experience exorsexism bc people refuse to acknowledge their nonbinary gender? where do we draw the line?)

hi back again abt binary privilege i DO think binary trans ppl on here especially never grew out of their transmed phases and when u see someone mocking or deriding "binary privilege" they usually end up being super exorsexist in my experience? that depends very heavily on the tone they use when talking about it, like theres a hugeee difference between "i dont agree that i experience privilege for being binary trans" and "can you believe the xe/xir catgenders are saying binary privilege is a thing" (though its often more subtl than that lol)

Thank you for your thoughts anon!

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

hi its me again. i meant to say that if you have any more thoughts on femme vetinari (or even... butch vimes...) i'd love to hear them bc i think about her a lot

HI AGAIN. OH DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. SORRY IF THIS IS LONG I'M JUST HYPE.

okay okay so like. to me ANY iteration of vetinari is fully confident in terms of gender expression. canon vetinari is so unshakeable, so immune to public opinion, that i think even a femme vetinari and/or a trans vetinari would have to have the same unshakability (spelling??); it'd feel out of character otherwise. femme vetinari may be ridiculed for occupying a position typically occupied by men but she is UNBOTHERED and probably using the public discomfort to her advantage in some way. also vetinari being a woman would not affect her asceticism in any way, she's still doing the simplest hairdo and dressing in black and calling it a day. any iteration of trans vetinari acts the same in my mind.

the most interesting and actually new thing that a female vetinari introduces is that dynamic of a female leader in a male-dominated position. of course the position is historically dominated by tyrannical murderers, but she still has that social pressure to deal with/manipulate.

(i also love thinking about the social pressure that an openly trans vetinari has to deal with, or a genderfluid vetinari, gnc vetinari, etc., etc., it's not just gender shenanigans it's politics and it has implications, etc.)

i think the ultimate thing with vetinari is that her job position is not defined by gender or gender expression. 'Patrician' is an isolated field. it's what the individual makes of it.

but vimes...

oh, vimes...

oh please talk to me about butch vimes. in ankh-morpork being a cop is heavily defined by maleness. this may not be beneficial, this may not work in individual contexts (with specific examples like cheery, or in a broader sense the mental toll that trying to perform properly as a man can take on an individual), but it's how it is. and i say maleness, not just masculinity, because with angua's introduction we see that even adopting masculinity (in her case acting like the other officers, making crude jokes, etc.) does not allow for conformity (angua is still ostracized as a woman before her werewolf identity is known). which makes butch vimes extremely interesting because the dynamic of the Watch means that vimes as butch woman, even as hyper-competent as she is, would still be an outsider because of her gender. canon vimes latches onto copperhood as an identity; it's tied up with his masculinity; and with butch vimes it would be the same, being a copper and being masc cannot be separated, but she would probably then feel that being a woman couldn't be separated from being a copper either, which might actually start to change the dynamic of the watch............ oh lord i'm having thoughts. and what of cases like he/him butch vimes or nonbinary vimes or or or...... if we're extrapolating from canon vimes, all of these versions of vimes would still wrap their gender identities and expressions up in the identity of copper, with varying effects.

all these cases also introduce a likely paradox: that police have and do persecute visibly queer people in ankh-morpork, but that vimes is one of them. this actually fits nicely with vimes's overall attempt to make policing a genuinely just practice

the same paradox would exist for a visibly queer vetinari (like my fav transfem vetinari that i'm writing): the heads of state have presumably never protected queer people in any way, and now vetinari is both queer and head of state. (BUT AGAIN - being a patrician is an isolated job, there's less of a 'culture' surrounding it - whereas the Watch has a pretty definite culture that can change but is difficult to change bc of it's a collection of people not just one person)

lastly i'm gonna rant about my favorite case of transfem butch vimes (i am having so much fun writing her). a vimes who is very comfortable in masculinity but not in male gender identity. who has to wrestle with this fact. who will relentlessly question herself because she doesn't really want to change her presentation. who will relentlessly question whether she can be a real watchman if this is the case. who, if she comes out, will have to deal with a watch that has always seen her as male and will have difficulty adjusting pronouns, if she wants them adjusted, because she isn't changing presentation. who will have to deal with fred colon (lmao). there's so much potential for TENSION!!!

anyway!!! you asked mainly about vetinari but got a lot about vimes. i think the Thing with both of them - femme vetinari and butch vimes - is that they're most thought-provoking and actually Meaningful beyond just a gender-swap when you lean into the tension that their identities introduce in an otherwise unchanged ankh-morpork. thank you SO much for this ask it has been SO fun and healing to rant about this

[aenor-llelo]

I've been reading your fox fall series and I've decided to pick your brain about the vessel-gendered and thunderus-tornadus things. But could you elaborate on those for me a little? I get the basic concept but I would like a more elaborate explanation please. Thank you in advance and I enjoy the series very much.

(second question first cus it's short) thundurus-tornadus is basically their word for a tsunami. a lot of weather events in this setting are basically considered acts of god.

(first question next because it's long) in foxfall, draconian gender operates on a trianary of which of the three tao dragons most represents their self-chosen role in life. things like trans/cisgender Do Not Exist in draconian culture because they do not factor for biological sex in how their society functions. that kind of information is considered taboo outside of lovers, doctors, or most immediate family. (hormone therapy and what we'd consider gender reassignment surgery exists, but they see it as matter of dysphoria intervention rather than a gender thing.)

sexuality also isn't something they define either. people marry or cohabitate with whoever, and it doesn't matter if that union produces children. draconians don't really care about the integrity of the bloodline, only if someone has been raised/taught in the draconian way.

(something like ingo and emmet, where they live together as a platonic civil partnership in all but name, is considered completely normal by draconian standards. it's much weirder that they're 30 years old and don't have any kids or apprentices.)

draconians as a whole will accept whatever pronouns they're assigned unless the individual finds it convenient, or even advantageous, to insist on a certain binary pronoun set when it exists in the area's language, but some dragonless choose to default to they/them for draconians out of respect to their gender privacy. precisely because they consider it private information, draconians take the genders/chosen presentation of the dragonless very seriously, since in their eyes knowing that kind of thing is an act of trust.

the setting as a whole thinks draconians are kind of mysterious. "there's this spiritual nomad culture that tames dragons, has genders we don't know about, and keeps huge parts of identities to their graves!" queer culture doesn't insist draconians are themselves a nonbinary/trans society because of the different circumstances, but draconians are considered cousins/friends of the queer community. in places where draconians are common, they're often a baby queer's first exposure to the concept of xenogenders and genderqueer individuals.

trianary semantics under the cut:

the first set of honorifics is fire/winter/storm, which is basically just an elemental vibecheck. which dragon to you kin? this sort of thing is figured out relatively early in childhood, but all of these aspects can be changed at any time if someone feels like they've fundamentally changed as a person.

the second is song/silence/roar. which do you choose to strive for- skill, patience/simplicity, or vigor?

then there's the base gender, hoard/vessel/stone.

hoard, the reshiramgender. Defined by power, knowledge, philosophy, art, parenthood (draconians consider the act of teaching to be the same as parenthood)

vessel, the kyuremgender. Defined by service, cold/ice/lack, taking aspects from everything, jack of all trades, becoming what is needed.

stone, the zekromgender. Defined by craft, skill, tradesmen, labor, hard work.

by pure semantics, draconian culture basically has nine possible self-determined genders meant to communicate the following in ascending order- what do you do in life, how do you do it, and why?

Ingo, fire-roar vessel. "for the sake of an honest world, i put my passion to realizing the ambition of others. show me your true form!"

emmet, storm-song vessel. "for the sake of an ideal world, i hone my skill to reveal the talent of others. let this be the perfect battle!"

drayden was once a winter-roar hoard, but nowadays is winter-silence hoard. "for the sake of inner peace, my wisdom is the strength i wield to teach and protect others." (the transition from roar to silence happened after his sister died.)

iris is winter-song hoard! "for the sake of harmony, my skills will hone and defend the world."

[redheadbigshoes]

"Male lesbians and lesboys do no harm" if I'm in a space designated for lesbians and other sapphics to meet and a MAN hits on me I'm going to feel so, so, so, so, so unsafe and violated. I don't care how you dress it up as you "feeling queer" or whatever. You are not out allies, you are not our community, you're predatory men using progressive language to mask your predatory intentions and pressure lesbians into accepting you in, otherwise they're "evil terfs and exclusionists".

It's a certain kind of insidious misogyny. Pressuring your way into a minority group or they'll be considered a bad woman a bad lesbian. Pressuring them at the threat of a hate campaign when lesbians and women in particular have ALWAYS been at a higher level of scrutiny, given less chances to "mess up". Threatening them with hate so that they shut up about the discomfort. So they shut up and accept men.

They weaponize it. They're using the belief that "lesbians are inherently terfs", something that is widely believed but simply untrue at the presence of trans women lesbians and nonbinary lesbians, to their advantage. "I'll dress up my words pretty, say 'no, it's not homophobic for a man to call himself a lesbian, it's actually regressive to deny me anything', and when we don't sit down and accept it, they call upon a bias and a hate campaign.

The vile attitude that comes from calling lesbians exclusionary and bad for not being attracted to men is the same that comes from the men against the me too movements, the kind where men get upset when a woman refuses sex for whatever reason, the same kind where a woman turns down a man at the bar.

It denies an autonomy, a right for a sexual group to exist outside of an oppressive force. Lesbians have long found a freedom when they realize they don't have to live that life with a man, that they don't have to think about marrying one or kissing one or living that life (And of course the incredible love of women is a factor, I can go on about that for ages, but another time).

To claim men can be lesbians is tying up those patriarchal boots and stomping on that. "No, those evil women cannot exclude me, they can't live outside of me, and they're evil because they think they can."

"That woman cannot live outside of me, otherwise she's just some slutty bitch for worse men"

"Women cannot make spaces unavailable to men."

"Women cannot be unavailable to men."

Different hues, but the color wheel is still a circle, huh?

You said it all so well. I couldn’t have said it better.

[bitsofsciencelife]

As usual, my mind has been blown after watching a video essay from Alexander Avila, my world has shifted. I've come to the conclusion that this modern dividing sex and gender as completely separate and exclusive terms is bad actually and has damaged our ability to accept fully lgbtq+ diversity, especially in the gender spectrum. Gender theory actually has transphobic, misogynistic, gender-essentialists origins.

Because if we understood from the get-go that biological sex is actually so much more diverse, we would find ALL gender identities a natural consequence of this diversity and not as a human construct only. For example, if we saw the way non-hetero sexuality could be evolutionary advantageous in human communities (maybe with the care of the young like it happens with other species), how not rare being intersex actually is, how a lot of people don't even know they're intersex and they might live their lives without knowing it, how the brains of trans people match their gender identity more than their assigned sex, how the ammount of queer people has stayed consistent throughout human history, etc. And that's just humans, the diversity in nature is insane. (Humans are part of nature, btw. It could also help us fight this idea that we're separate to other animals when we're also animals.)

If we knew how much nature and biology don't care about out gender norms and ideas, I think it would be easier for young queers and conservatives to see how this "gender thing" is not just "woke identity politics" or a new human invention. When we understand that this wonderful diversity has always been part of nature and humans, it becomes easier for the general public to accept queer people. Sex education when it comes to gender should start by stating the fact that queerness is inherent to both nature and humans. This is not to say we shouldn't discuss gender discrimination, gender expression, or not acknowledge that gender is a social construct distict to each human society, but separating gender and sex is not what will liberate us and it's not a good strategy to teach about queerness. It's not helping us that much.

Speaking from experience, it was that understanding of how much sex in humans isn't binary or divorced from gender that made me finally become an ally to trans people (and eventually accept myself as nonbinary), when before I had been raised conservative and I had very bad takes on the subject, I can tell you that.

[i-dont-know-what-im-doing-2024]

Trans Resources

I wanted to make a little post with some of the resources I’ve found that have helped me so far in getting some of the things I need. These might apply more to transmasc situations but some should work for everyone!

1. https://www.thetrevorproject.org

I haven’t used this one yet but I am planning to, they have counselors available that you can talk to or text which sounds really great. If anyone has used them feel free to reblog so people can hear about your experience, if not I’ll update when I’ve used it.

2. https://strandsfortrans.org

This is a website where local businesses that are LGBTQ+ friendly can register so you can look through trans affirming salons and barbers in your area. I was surprised that there were a few options near me and it made it less scary to try and book an appointment.

I didn’t want to wait for my usual hair stylist to have an opening and a trans creator I like made a good point that if someone has always cut your hair and doesn’t know you’re trans or nonbinary they might naturally make the style more feminine (in my case) which is why I wanted someone new. At the same time walking into a traditional barbershop when I still have long hair and don’t even have a binder yet would’ve been way too anxiety inducing so this definitely has helped me.

3. https://www.pointofpride.org/binding

This page from point of pride has a lot of helpful resources about binding including how to do it safely and different brands where you can purchase a binder. I’ve also heard good things from some online creators about Spectrum Outfitters and UNTAG for people with larger chests. I don’t own a binder yet so I don’t have a personal opinion but hopefully this gives people a starting point with a few brands they can look into.

This website also has a free binder program as do many others but unfortunately the waiting times are usually months to years. I still applied just to be on the list and I’m hoping to find another way to get a binder in the meantime.

4. https://pflag.org

This is just the National PFLAG home page but I recommend looking at local branches if there are any near you as they offer support groups, scholarships, and might be able to point you towards services that help in your area.

5. Local Resources

I’m not putting a link for the ones I’ve used because I don’t want people to know where I live but I can say some of the services near me I had no idea about but seem like they’ll be really helpful. Now I had the advantage of already knowing a few organizations in my area to look up but generally a lot of the LGBTQ+ organizations also have resource pages pointing to other local and national organizations that might be helpful.

Personally I found a mini grant for $100 where the organization has you fill out a survey and put links for 1-3 items up to $100 of gender affirming products. I put down a binder and a masc shirt and jacket off Amazon. I don’t know what the waiting list is for this but I was excited it included clothes since almost everything I own is excessively feminine. Local organizations might have shorter waiting lists if they serve a smaller population though they also have less funding so it could be a toss up.

Another local service that I would say is probably the most helpful for me so far (although I haven’t had my appointment yet, just booked it) was a clothing exchange. This place provides totally free gender affirming clothes to queer people which is incredible because I’m an unemployed college student and have been feeling uncomfortable with my wardrobe for a while but can’t afford anything else. They didn’t require me to donate anything either so if you still like your old clothes or need them for safety reasons you can still get help. I was also able to book the appointment with the name and pronouns I’m considering which is cool because I might be able to actually get a feel for them? I can definitely say that getting the confirmation email to Conor for the first time gave me big feelings.

Anyway that’s all my advice/resources for now, although I’ll probably make a second post or add to this one if I find more things that help. I’m definitely someone who processes through serial researching so there could be more coming your way in the future. Also please reblog with anything else that has helped you or your experiences with the above services for other people to find ☺️

[gnometa233]

I think it's really telling that that person took "Don't assume someone is queer based on their appearance" as "Just looking queer does not mean you're actually LGBT"

Instead of yknow, the part that affects me every day of "There are queer people around you who don't look like a walking pride parade but are still very much LGBT"

To anyone who sees me I probably just look like some tall gamer girl nerd (okay thats a bit of a givaway that im a trans woman but thats with meta knowledge) but like I experience gender and sexuality counter to the social norm, so maybe dont assume that someone isnt LGBT just because they dont look like a dictionary portait of flagging.

I know I'm super fucking tired of people assuming I'm not a lesbian just because I'm not masculine presenting or wearing my pride flag pins that day and everyone thinks feminine women MUST like men. RRGHHH...

Unless you're that person who seems pretty insecure about it lol

Or hell, even just talking about the fact that you engage with lgbtq+ culture and support smaller lgbtq+ artists (many of which are my friends) means the most interesting thing about you is that your lgbtq+. Like, wow, i can't believe learning and giving back to people who need money to survive have no personality

Clothes have always been a source of contention in the lgbtq+ community and it still is today. Blend in? Stand out? Flag each other? There are advantages and disadvantages to both.

And you're absolutely right. I think people have forgotten the art of stealthing, which I know a LOT of people do. One of my friends i met in physical therapy looked like your normal, jock, average teenage boy, until i learned he had already completed physical transition and was on T for years prior. Another one of my friends looks like a stock, computer nerd guy, but they're nonbinary (and possibly a trans girl, they're thinking about it, but either way I'd support them, you'd actually like them I think!), Another one of my friends looks like your standard straight girl who sometimes wears croptops, and she's bisexual!

I think what bothers me the most about that post when they responded to my tags is the fact that they were so...dismissive. The sort of implication there is that everyone should want to signal to other lgbtq+ people that they're lgbtq, or else they're boring. Which can be really, really damaging, especially to those who do want to remain stealth.

Anyways if that person thinks i'm boring, let them. Sucks to suck, but I know I have a rich, inner and outer life and diverse interests. Some of us didn't realize we were lgbtq+ until later in life. We had to form a personality.

[monkeymanproductions]

MTO in Podplane newsletter!

You should all be reading the @podplane newsletter already - the amazing @starplanes puts it out focusing on shows with trans / nonbinary creators! Go find it and subscribe if you don't already. <3

They had a really nice writeup about Moonbase Theta, Out in this last issue! I'll quote below:

✈️ Moonbase Theta, Out is a queer sci-fi epic telling the story of the last active Moonbase under a repressive corporate system, their shutdown and reawakening, and a revolutionary Plan to take control of their own existence. Through later seasons, the struggle expands to include uprisings on Earth as well, other Moonbases being brought into the conflict, and a shadowy ex-corporate figure attempting to manipulate all sides for his own advantage. The two-part series finale beings airing on August 20! This show has been running for over 5 years now, and it feels like the end of an era! I love the characters in this story, and it's been wonderful watching them grow throughout the show. (Expect for [REDACTED] which broke my heart!!).

[punemy-spotted]

Hiya, its Athena for Thursday Ask-A-Thon over at @ask-a-thon: How have your experiences in life shaped your writing?

Oh Athena.

Athena.

This question means the world to me, I cannot tell you how much. As usual, I'm going to ramble, because this is absolutely a special interest of mine in writing and fandom and boy howdy do my experiences shape my writing.

As always, answers below the cut, and general content warning for gender-based violence, workplace sexual harassment, and trauma.

My experiences are my writing. Especially as someone who writes Reader-Insert, I'm a big advocate for writers to write their catharsis and their experiences.

While it is certainly appropriate (and polite, in certain circumstances) to write "neutral" Readers who have no defined physical attributes so that the person reading the fic can slot themselves into that blank space, I also constantly encourage writers — especially writers of color; disabled writers; queer, nonbinary, and trans writers; and writers who write for male readers — to write their story too. If we can imagine ourselves as Avengers or loved by them, we can also imagine ourselves immersed in cultures we did not grow up in — it only increases our empathy and understanding of the world outside our "bubble" if we do. For my experience, as a Desi writer, I don't know how to be anything but a Desi writer. My culture is embedded into my bones, there are so many things I do as a Desi-American that non-Desi folk don't do (and vice versa) that sometimes I'm shocked when I talk to folks who have grown up outside of the little Desi Bubble I grew up in (and shocked when I talk to folks who were even more immersed in Desi culture, because the Midwestern United States is not exactly a haven for Dawoodi Bohra Muslims, and that leads to a weird relationship with one's own culture). I am open about the fact that my Readers are generally coded as Desi and always invite non-Desi folk to read the stories to get a glimpse into that life. The body is a shell, and though it may change from writer to writer, the reader is still themselves and their soul can travel dimensions.

As for concrete examples of that, boy howdy, let's take a look at my whole Masterlist, shall we? The Cut is about my experience as an FGM survivor and how FGM completely altered the way I engage with my body as a being able to feel pleasure — and therefore, what it means to be loved, to forgive, and be forgiven. In that same vein, For Blue Skies is a story about facing Ikaris — an Eternal, a being who masqueraded as an ancient god for so many years — and knowing that he could have prevented something like the tradition of FGM but did not, for whatever reason. One of my most popular fic series, The Price you Pay, features a Reader character who, like me, was taken advantage of by a powerful man when she was in a vulnerable position compared to him, upending her career — she and I made very different decisions, but the root of our pain is the same. One of the first ever fics I published on Tumblr, Everything You Stand For, was an exploration of catharsis, of how the repeated denial of justice could lead someone like me to side with someone like Helmut Zemo, because when doing things the right way fails... how far are you willing to go to quell the fire in your chest?

In a way, every fic I have ever written has carried a piece of me. My culture, my language, my pain and pleasures. When I share, I share not just the thing I am passionate about in the form of the story, but the emotional context that drove me to think it up and create the world. So... how have my experiences shaped my writing? They've defined it.

[birdylion]

Thanks for explaining what FLINTA means! I once followed a German queer instagram page and they started using the term a lot. Being from Canada, I didn't know what they were talking about and when I messaged them they were decidedly unhelpful about it lol (but probably because i messaged in German and they thought i was a German who couldn't be arsed to use google). Anyway, now that you've kindly explained what it means... i fully agree that the proliferation of the term to cover broader queer spaces is definitely weird.

Glad to hear my note was of help!

I want to say, though, that my other post was a quick rant and not a nuanced take on the situation, and I don’t want that to be my last word on the issue.

(Disclaimer, I am not a studied expert on the topic, nor am I an active part of feminist activism myself, I’m just close to the spaces where the activism happens and as such in a good position to observe it. There are things I don’t get, and things for which I may benefit from another viewpoint, etc.)

I firmly believe that the acronym FLINTA* comes from a place of good faith. It’s centered in and comes out of feminist spaces – the ones that see trans exclusion and say „we want to do better!“ And so they welcome trans women, they make room for the variation in experience that is womanhood, and are open about the (to them) new words like „nonbinary“ that describe how some, if not many of them, who have found feminist spaces a good and validating place to be, feel and see themselves. Feminist spaces are by default often women-centric spaces, and I don’t want to diminish the meaning they have for others. It is incredibly valuable that there are spaces where trans women are explicitly welcome as women! Or where someone who may be cis, may be not, may be or not be, but is seen by default as a woman can just … exist, without having to think about adhering to some kind of standard of femininity that is imposed from the outside. FLINTA* spaces can be that place; from what I’ve seen, femininity isn’t policed there like it is in the wider society. The existence of these spaces is very important, and they should be accessible for everyone who needs them and wants to be in them.

As far as I can tell, feminist activism can come in multiple forms: 1. fighting for women’s rights, against patriarchal pressure. 2. fighting against patriarchal values. 3. providing rooms where people exhausted from the fight can find rest (so called „safe spaces“).

1. has to be done because we can’t wait for the dissolution of the patriarchy to happen by itself, so we need to assert women’s rights. It’s where the action happens. 2. is to sneakily change societal values. This is the place where we need to convince cis men that the advantage of discarding the patriarchal pressure of toxic masculinity is greater for their overall well being and mental health than upholding these values. 3. is needed because living under a strong patriarchy is exhausting and there need to be places where people who are aware of that can recharge.

1. is where FLINTA* works as a political alliance for better protection, more rights, etc.

But the other two …

I described above that the acronym comes from feminist spaces and is used within women-centric spaces. So far, so good, nothing wrong with building women-centric spaces.

My issue starts when they say „we want to provide a space that is safe for people who are marginalised by the patriarchy for their gender“ (okay) but then take that to mean „therefor our space includes women and everyone but cis men“. They come from a women-centric space and slowly extend that to include more people who face, in some regards, similar issues, and want to build a space where these people can find rest from these issues. (At least that’s my best faith explanation.) If you define it as „a safe space from patriarchal pressure“, then in theory, it could work that way – but even then, cis men can be policed by people upholding patriarchal values too, if they don’t conform to some standard of masculinity. A safe space from patriarchal pressure would explicitly include men who are entirely cis but like to wear skirts (for example). So what FLINTA* as a denominator of a community is, in practice, is still a women-centric space that is slightly more open to gender nonconformity in woman-aligend people. If my only claim as a binary trans man to entering these spaces is, in practice, something I had no choice in (my agab) or that defines me only through what I am not (a cis man), then this is not a „safe space“ for me. If I cannot be there and still be seen as a man – which was my personal experience in these spaces, that is, being seen as a woman – then it is a decidedly unsafe place for me: it doesn’t validate my gender identity, it doesn’t just let me be myself, I don’t find the freedom to express myself in this space, not even to just exist. In that experience, I am not singular, and other trans men share it.

So my issue isn’t that this space should not exist. In fact, I do think it has value for many people who don’t find respite anywhere else. It just advertises itself as something it isn’t (a safe space for FLINTA*, when it's not that for trans men and probably inter, nonbinary or agender people who are read as male). If they called it a space for woman-aligned people, I would know that it wasn’t for me and would stay clear. But I didn’t know that before I went there, and the acronym doesn’t convey this relevant information. Part of my issue with it is that it’s false advertisement. Going back to my list of feminist activist points: using FLINTA* sets out to provide 3., a safe space, but in my opinion only does that for some part of the people they want to include.

And I think it’s utterly useless for 2., convincing society of feminist values, because it just creates a divide where we should strive for unity. It shouldn’t be „us against cis men“, but „us against the patriarchy“, so that cis men can join the fight too.

From what I hear from feminist and queerfeminist circles around here, calling it FLINTA* is, among those who are trans inclusive, the most commonly used term. In themselves, woman-centric spaces inclusive of trans women and other woman-aligned people are very valuable and should exist. But calling them FLINTA* (while not being wholly trans-inclusive towards transmasculine people and amab people who aren't binary trans women) is inaccurate and if they’re the dominant feminist position, I’d even go so far to say that they don’t help against the patriarchy at all.

Now, this is all about its role in feminism, and not in queer spaces. The only queer community in which I’m actively involved is the trans* community and I can’t speak for others. But there, most calls to action, most meet-ups etc. are for „the FLINTA* community“. And I get where it comes from: there’s a space that explicitly includes us, yay! Of course people who are (L)INTA would be drawn to a group that has all their letters in it. So personally, I do not know how much it is actually used to cover queer topics in general. Anecdotal evidence by me and by others show that it does happen, but I have no idea about the scope of it, and the post linked above was an intra-community-rant on my part, not a coverage of the wider issue.

I don’t want to be the person who says „This isn’t about me, so it's wrong“, and I don’t think that I am doing it here, because it is about me, but in a way that is misrepresenting my identity. I think that the reason feminist spaces are so firm in their own position as a group against outsiders is that they, historically, had to be in order to persist in a world that didn’t, and often still doesn’t value their opinions and contributions. So my position sits in the triangle between „you absolutely have the right to create your own space, embody that space, and actually it’s good that feminist issues get traction in the queer community too“ and „but I think the way you do that is inherently logically flawed and ultimately not conductive to your goals“ and „I personally feel alienated by you because you say that you speak for me, but only as long as you can put me under a feminine umbrella“.

So anyway. Cis men should be allowed to take our side in the fight against the patriarchy.

[heavenly-kazee]

As a person who used to label myself as trans in my childhood while still finding new sexuality at the same time (I found nonbinary as comfortable as myself for a while), I am flabbergasted of how many people out there just straight up being cruel to these normal queer people. Like I'm sorry?? If you hate them that much, don't push your forced agenda to make us look horrible of our own value. We're just like you, a normal human being living in this earth.

The past is what makes queer people the strongest, fighting for their freedom and voices just to be themselves to advocate while cis people on the other hand, already focused about how masculinity works, throwing any kind of femininity which used to be their ancestors only to ridicule femininity further, looking down on very emotional well-being which woman tend to focused on back then. The same situation as woman, they find masculinity beautiful and throw away femininity as well just like the feminist today, no sense of empathy and compassion whatsoever.

It's so funny that any type of clothes are already gender-based when in reality, it wasn't supposed to be like that in the history. Man wear the exact same thing as woman do, the skirts, make-up and etc. Now that we've past that because this is modern society, queer people are taking the advantage but cis people wouldn't. Everything is all about patriarchy, man should wear suits and act unemotional whereas woman, they are dramatic and crybaby. This type of mindset is what caused the adoration of excluding the special people, who are mentally disabled, lgbt community and mental disorders. Religion is exception, there are few confirmation of cult at times hence they can be seen as bad light.

I used to think drag queens look intimidating at first but after knowing they are queer just like lgbt community do, I slowly accepted them as our people and I live in to respect any kind of people even if they won't force us to live up in their expectations. To the trans and queer people out there, you rock!

[enchantrum]

I know I’m not fully versed in the dynamics of a lot of fandoms, but where you say that people will latch onto terf ideology without recognizing it, is so true. I’ve actually been seeing this in my own life. A friend of mine, who’s a straight passing queer, nonbinary man (he/they), recently ended an abusive relationship with his femme partner in which he was the one being abused, and so many former friends, including trans women, have latched onto this idea that he held all the power because he was a man and a bit older. They’re even engaging in victim blaming rhetoric: “if he’s actually being abused then why is he doing this?” Or “why doesn’t he do that?” And calling any boundaries he sets as “leveraging power dynamics.” It’s really gross. Those of us who recognize the abusive dynamics for what they are, are being accused of siding with an abuser just because he’s a friend. And the thing is people do overlook abuse when it challenges their own feelings towards someone they’re close to. That happens all the time. But here you have people shielding a femme partner from any accountability for their abusive behavior (taking advantage of his money, destroying property, putting pets in danger, triangulating, lying, taking away his personal space) and just deciding that the masc straight-passing man must be the abuser.

I don’t know if this is along the lines of what you’re talking about when it comes to terf ideology - I know terfs are very essentialist - but I think it’s so important for everyone to recognize that no one, including themselves, is immune from engaging in or adopting problematic ideology and acting upon it.

pretty much what I'm talking about and probably one of the most harmful forms of it, because it's obviously damaging this person's life. I'm really sorry that's happening to your friend and I hope they're able to establish a support system of reasonable people. men and mascs aren't really seen as needing support which is part of the problem.

it is rooted in TERFy biocentric ideas of anything "male" = predatory and everything "female" = harmless/prey.

though it's evolved a lot from when I first encountered it. the reasoning was basically that if you're born male you'll always be defined by this wrong maleness. more recently it means anything masculine = performing maleness and maleness being defined as predatory, toxic, needlessly aggressive, etc.

I used to encounter a lot of infantilizing of trans men ("the poor misguided butches" etc) and although there's still some of that, there's a lot more of "HRT and transition makes trans men aggressive and crazy and they're just as bad as cis men."

anyone this loose idea of "maleness" touches is under fire.

on a personal level, after I transitioned my abusive mother tried to gaslight me by accusing me of "male abuse". she tried to go behind my back to talk to my doctors and everything lol. but the thing is her gaslighting, interfering and being a control freak wasn't new, it had been going on for 20+ years. she just has the convenient excuse of my masculinity now because men can't possibly be abused.

we've been no contact for a few years now, thank fuck.

so yeah it's good if you can identify TERFy brainrot when it's seeping into the perspective of those around you.

maybe some people still enjoy the edgy catharsis of "lol I hate men" but it's counter productive if we want to progress in gender equality.