#*evil manic laughter*

[goferwashere]

the sketch requests are still being worked on but I’m currently in the middle of being possessed by an idea. I’m working on it and it’ll be done soon hopefully. For now take this, it’s a part of the project but I won’t say it’s purpose

[thedorfmirrin]

LAUGH ATTACK !!!

[helmetkeeper]

you know if i ever get to 100 followers maybe i should make/do an event of some kind 🤔. like maybe series of stuff like those 'moodboard of every pokemon/etc.' things, or doing reqs i wouldnt normally do, like userboxes or icons or something :3.

[galaxychaos78]

waiting for my friends so we can get some ramen in the meantime I can work on SMUTT

[bear-cubs-art-things]

"I have better ideas 😈"

Can you tell us about it or is it a surprise? /gen

Also, Bear I'm so scared rn- (I'm talking about Young!Zechariah au)

It's a surprise...

As for your fear...

[writers-potion]

Creating Villains and Monsters (dark fic)

Human Villains

Serial killer, cruel despot, sexual sadist, religious fanatic, playground bully or a hypocritical schemer.

Cliches to Avoid

a villain who is pur evil with no redeeming qualities

the villain who is evil without real reason

hot stinking breath

manical laughter

Motivation

"Because he is evil" is not a sufficient answer.

Give him ambition, a twisted worldview, a twisted past, an obsession that drive him forward with some logic, not blind bloodlust.

Depth

A complex villain adds emotional power and depth to the story.

He has a genuine good side, and may even be up for redemption...but doesn't choose this path.

Draw similarities between the evil and the hero. They may come from the same background, skills or even the same cause - but they have different ethical standards.

Show the hero struggling against the evil streaks in his nature, and the villain fighting the good streak in his.

Describing the Villain

Smiles: make them chilling by using detail. - his lips curved and bared teeth. - the corners of her mouth turned up, but the smile did not reach her eyes.

Voice: compare the voice to something unpleasant. - his voice sounded like a dentist's drill - he spoke with the coldness of a ... - his voice had the ... tone of a ... - his voice was as sharp as a ...

Eyes: compare the color to something unpleasant - as dark and murky as a stagnant pond - as piercing as a pair of daggers - glinting like steel blades - the color of frostbite

Smell: insert a detail about how the villain smells when they approach the POV character - peppermint mouthwash and aftershave - beer and stale sweat - garlic and axle-grease

Hands: describe the texture of this hands, and the shape of their nails.

Monsters

Invite the reader to feel pity for the monster by giving it a motivation that readers can understand on a human level - for example, to protect is young, or break its loneliness.

Reveal Bit By Bit

The issue with inducing horror with monsters is that once the reader has seen it, it no longer has the same chilling effect.

Show a different part each time, and delay the full view for as long as possible. Perhaps it can only be heard first, then the smell.

Keep It Plausible

If the monster is a beast of imagination, plausibility is another challenge.

How did it come into existenc?

A prehistoric animal, survived or recreated.

A mythological creature

A new species from faraway lands

A real animal infected with a new disease

A ruthless government ran a program for new monsters

A mutation occurred, resulting in a monster.

A major plausibility factor is size. Just times 4x a normal animal wouldn't be palusible, since their skeleton won't be able to hold the weight.

Outsize flying creatures are also not likely. Water creates can plausibly have enormous sizes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

💎If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 

💎Before you ask, check out my masterpost part 1 and part 2 

💎For early access and prioritized questions, become a Writing Wizard 

[harrybathtub]

imagine making a post about knights and you see people reblogging it talking about lancelot and sonic

[apollowhoo]

hello!! I love your Alastor x Child Reader stuff you wrote. So can you please write an one shot of Alastor with a child reader who's the oppisite of him? What i mean is, Alastor is lowkey nonchalant but the reader is actually insaine. I hope i explained enough.

soo... you didn't say anything for a plot so i just made them meet, i hope that's alright with you<33

ALASTOR X INSAINE CHILD!READER

Hell was always the same with the chatter of sinners and the painfull screams all around. Alastor, strolled through the streets, his cane tapping rhythmically against the ground. His wide grin never faltered, though his sharp red eyes darted around, observing everything.

Then he heard it—the most evil laugh, high-pitched and absolutely unhinged. Alastor stopped, tilting his head, the sound was coming from an alleyway just ahead. He adjusted his tie and strolled over to the alleyway.

What he found was... surprising.

A small child, no older than ten, stood over what used to be a rather unfortunate demon. The remains were scattered about in a chaotic mess of black goo . The child, held a jagged piece of metal in one hand, the other smeared with the remnants of the "fun." They're wide eyes shimmered with manicness.

"My, my, what a display!" Alastor exclaimed. "I must say, it’s rare to find someone so creative with their time."

The child turns to him, eyes glowing. “Did you see? Did you see what I did?! He said I couldn’t take his hat—so I took everything else!” They gesture dramatically at the mess behind them.

Alastor chuckled, twirling his cane. “Quite the overachiever, aren’t we? But tell me, dear child, what drives you to such... theatrical carnage?”

They tilt their head, clearly unbothered by his casual tone. “Why not? It’s fun! It’s exciting! Don’t you think so?”

Alastor’s smile twitched. “Ah, yes, but there’s an art to it, my dear. A balance. Chaos is like a radio frequency—too much static, and the signal is lost.”

The child seemed unimpressed. “Static is fun. It’s loud, and no one can ignore it.” They grin wider, holding up the bloodied piece of metal like a trophy. “Want me to make some for you?”

Alastor’s chuckle turned into a full-blown cackle. “Tempting! But I think I’ll pass. Watching you is entertainment enough.” He leaned in closer, his grin sharp. “But do be careful, little one. Hell is like an ocean full of fish, and not all of them appreciate someone making such a mess.”

They automatically lean in just as close, their smile never faltering. “Let them come. I’ll make it fun for them, too.”

Alastor pulled back, his laughter echoing down the alleyway. “Oh, I do believe I’ll enjoy keeping an eye on you. You, my dear, are a star in the making.”

And with that, he tipped his hat and strolled away, his cane tapping the same rhythm. The child curiously follows him.

After all, it wasn’t every day they found someone who appreciated their particular brand of madness.

[pixiemage]

Tango's the kind of guy to do a dramatic smoke-machine-accompanied entrance the first time someone sneaks into Decked Out, eyes glowing and grin sharp and like. Dramatic. Cartoon villain. Manic giggling laughter. And he'll be flanked by a few ravagers, or a warden will be trailing after him, and he'll look threatening as hell. But then one (1) of his lovely beloved monster friends will stub a toe and make the smallest of sad sounds, and Tango'll flip on a dime like "Oh my gosh are you okay??? Where does it hurt??? I'll fix it. It's okay. You're soooo brave-" then turn right back around switch on the dramatic haunting music and evil lighting and a spooky voice effect and threaten whoever snuck in like "You dare trespass in my dungeon?!" and "You'll leave if you know what's good for you" and "Run while you still can" as if he wasn't just baby-talking a beast from hell

And the craziest part is, it probably somehow works

[likesdoodling]

Gossiping about Sigiswald backstage with Rozemyne and Ferdinand!

I love that Rozemyne's thought bubble is an actual quote from the book.

*dying laughing-

Yes. You're definitely playing into his 'evil, evil hands'

*strangled laughter-

And the end scene of this book? (spoilers if you haven't read it, but if you know what this is from then you probably have-)

I loved it so much!

*intense fangirling in my little corner over here-

Especially seeing it from Lutz' pov where Rozemyne is just blushing all over the place?!

*more intense fangirling/manic grinning-

It was just so- so-

Yeah. It was cool. I liked it a lot.

I didn't end up doing the shading on this purely because I just don't have as much time as I used to, and I'm probably gonna be pretty busy for the next week with midterm tests prep- *sigh...

I did want to do the colouring though, since I absolutely love the fact that Ferdinand's outfit matches Rozemyne's hair and that Rozemyne's outfit matches Ferdinand's hair-

*internal screaming-

I love this entire series. It is kind of sad that it's pretty much finished, but that's what fanfiction and fanart is for, amiright?

(glances over at the various au ideas and animatics that I still have in the 'in progress/drafts' pile-)

Anyway. I'm definitely still gonna be doing fanart for this series for a long time. Just so you guys are aware~

:D

(and maybe actually finish the fanfic which I got like 57,000 words in and left un-updated for over a year- *cough - Myne working for Police Superintendent Ferdinand au anyone? Can't believe I started that like, last year- it's been so long... Drawing is... More my forte when it comes to committing to things, but I am planning on finishing it, university got in the way - *cough)

[notmarthagaryson]

MARTHA YOU DUMB CROW RUN THE FUCK AWA DONT LISTEN TO HIM

‘oh my gods I’m gonna die I’m gonna fucking die’

*Martha ignored her panicked yelling and tried to even her breath

she wouldn’t admit it to anyone but for a short moment she thought it was her mother once again yelling at her for whatever reason she had chosen that time*

“if you already know then there’s no reason for me to state them is there?”

*she asked hoping he’ll drop it she didn’t want to list them all believing if she never Acknowledged them then they did not happen*

OPEN MULTIVERSE RP

*Martha wandered around Gotham’s forest aimlessly, it had been a few weeks since what John calls “almost bleeding to death on the fucking floor” and about a week since she last saw John himself. So, a while. *

’Maybe I should visit some time soon?’

*it had been 8 hours since Martha started to look for any clues on where Laverna might be or any evidence the she is still alive.

Martha slowly started to lose hope of finding Laverna* “She can’t be dead! It’s just- it’s not possible!”

It’s your fault you know? If you didnt anger him, then Lara would still be here safe and sound but nooo you had to destroy everything just like you always do “Shut up! She’s alive you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

* Martha gritted out, punching the nearest tree, only ending up with her knuckles bruised, the rough bark scratching her hands* Of course I do! I’m you remember? * Martha couldn’t see her but she knew that loathsome little cockroach was smiling * “I SAID SHUT UP” a crack “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! NOT ABOUT ME OR HER OR ANYONE!” *she watched as Martha finally lost it, a pang of pain going up her arm just like how he said As she tried to attack her, with a smirk she led Martha to where he said the portal would be * Oh come on you know I’m right, I always am! Do i really have to remind you about Izzy? “YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CALL HER THAT” * she rolled her eyes *Fine then what about Cathie? *Martha tried punching her but to no avail *“JUST SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE“ * she managed to push her inside the portal her manic laughter was the only thing Martha heard before she lost consciousness *

[teamaerialcombo]

HI! HI! I'M THE GUY FROM AO3 IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS FROM MY CRUSH 40 THEMED BLOG!!

(note . i might be reaching with A LOT of this stuff but this is MY special interest and hyperfixation and i get to say what i want. also i think you'd understand what i mean when i say things)

so, let's get one thing out of the way. on it's own, i am all of me is both a v1 song and a gabriel song on their own in my head

^ this, to me, is v1. the "black writing" in my head is directed towards the writings found on the murals of gabriel in 4-3. "unleashed a million faces / and one by one they fall" all the husks and demons in hell being there for who knows how long, before the machines (or in this case, just v1) come around and start killing them all off. in the grand scheme, v1 is the villain in this story (killing the denizens of hell without mercy, even with a reason thats still a villain), the "black hearted evil", but at the end of the day is still the protagonist, the "brave hearted hero"

^ and this is gabriel. it REALLY reminds me of his monologues to v1, but the beginning is what really sells it. those first two lines really encapsulate who he is as a character, or at least who he was before v1 came around- a weapon for the council (who, if you REALLY wanted to reach for it can also be seen as the evil in this case, and these two lines can be seen as him killing the council). "i laugh and watch you fall" can be seen as the fight in 6-2, going from a accusatory anger to manic laughter. and again, story-wise, gabriel is the antagonist, the main person against the protagonist, v1 (and also was the villain of the past lore, killing off minos & sisyphus most notably when they tried to make hell better). but he's the "hero" of this story (if you think more towards just the current part of ultrakill and not the past lore that takes place beforehand), trying to stop the villain, v1.

now, how does this all tie into gabv1el? simple. two different things. one, i like thinking about how those two verses mentioned above would play out if they said these things to one another, especially with gabriel's end. the manic laughter he has in 6-2 is probably one of the strongest forces the gabv1 fanbase has to show the canonicity of the ship, and "i laugh and watch you fall" really reflects there to me

but also the chorus of the song is? very gabv1 in my head?

like this really reminds me of the almost. i don't want to say OBSESSIVE nature of gabv1el since i know they can be a lot more than that but that's definitely slightly part of it. their obsession with each other that drives them closer (pun only slightly intended) to one another. "capture you or set you free" too. it can be seen from either perspective of the two. for v1, kill gabriel like its programming wants it to or let him live. for gabriel it's the same- kill v1 like how he was supposed to although, now he really has no reason to do so), or let it live to keep observing it and watching its movements and actions (which we have slight proof of him already doing! his dialogue in 6-1). you could also see "can you see all of me? / walk into my mystery" as gabriel talking to v1. he knows about v1 but v1 doesn't know about him. as you play the game more you learn about him through terminals, so by that logic v1 ALSO learns as it progress more, or "walks" into the mystery.

this part also applies to what was said above^

anyways! all in all i think this song for SURE is v1 & gabriel respectively and if you really reach it can be gabv1el. there's definitely crush 40 songs that are more gabv1el than this one (like down & dirty or 2 nights 2 remember) but hey. it's a fun challenge to connect just about anything to crush 40 whenever possible :p

hope you enjoyed my deranged sleep-deprived late-at-night rambles LOLL this was a fun one to yap yap yap about

dude i literally need Everyone to see this analysis. it is So Epic. i get you op i rlly do [shakes your hand in being a sonic & ultrakill fan]

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Heyyyy Mousey! :D Happen to see your asks open, soooo, SDV bachelorettes x mad scientist farmer pretty please?

Heck yeah, more mad scientist!Farmer, now with sdv bachelorettes! Enjoy, and thank you for your ask! 💕

_________________________________________

Farmer will stand over a lab table, holding a flask of incomprehensible liquid and a (still wriggling) tentacle, muttering that they've found a way to make the perfect fertiliser, and laughing maniacally. While their wife Penny tries to smile, holds a thumbs up, saying "well done, darling" and dies inside. In fact, the young teacher is really mesmerised by Farmer's work and tries to support them as best she can. But avoids their secret laboratory, for there are sights and smells that would make an impressionable girl faint.

Maru is fascinated by Farmer and their farming inventions. They are a genius! The young inventor believes they are not crazy, just very passionate about farming and science. Maru and her beloved chat about future inventions, how to improve the quality of their crops, and she fall in amazement at their new ideas, which sometimes go beyond modern science. Well, as for the 'evil' laughter - so what? Maru thinks it's their cute feature.

As long as the house does not catch fire from unsuccessful experiments, the safety rules are observed, and Farmer does not do anything immoral, Leah is not too bothered by her beloved spouse's unusual hobby. Even though they have different views (they're into science/farming, and she's into art/sculptures), the ginger girl shows interest in what Farmer has rediscovered. Plus she's willing to help them collect rare mushrooms for their next project.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Farmer: ???? "Sorry, it's just that your laughter is contagious." Well, Emily is quite okay with Farmer's hobby and quirkiness. Even tries to support them morally, especially when Farmer feels the tide of inspiration due to a failed experiment or wasted expensive components. The only thing the blue-haired girl asks of her spouse is to try to make their brainstorming products as environmentally friendly as possible.

Another blast in the basement or Farmer's insane giggle makes Haley's heart leap in her chest with fright. It felt like she was living in some horror novel. The girl has tried to show interest in Farmer's hobby, but after her spouse constantly comes out with stained clothes ("it's not blood, right?") with a manic grin, muttering for a "great breakthrough in mushroom cultivation," Haley just like "nope". She loves them, and doesn't mind at all their passion, but no cuddling while they're all dirty in... whatever it is.

Abigail doesn't really understand what Farmer is trying to explain to her each time or how their next creation works, but she loves this vibe of the mad scientist in her spouse ("But I am and scientist!"). She's just a walking "My hot witch wife/me, doing whatever she wants" meme, only Farmer mixes science and magic in this case. Abby is Farmer's first assistant, and tries to imitate their evil laugh (to prank others). It's so interesting, plus the gizmos Farmer creates are really useful.

[starrgaziinggg]

SMAU | undercover JYP-U

directory | next part ->

chapter 34 -> a night to remember

Walking out of the exam hall on Friday afternoon had you feeling ecstatic. It had been a long two weeks, not only considering exam prep. With the account revealing Jeongin's 'secret', your mind hadn't been able to solely focus on studying.

You had no idea who was running this account. Revealing your friend group's secrets was one thing, but to lie about Jeongin stealing exam answers was something else entirely. It took on a whole new malicious level of thinking, and you had no idea who would hate you all enough to do something like that.

Disregarding those thoughts to the back of your mind, you had said your farewells to Minho, Lix and Hyunjin as you and Chae had walked back towards your dorm to get ready for the party. Hyunjin had told you the boys spent hours putting up decorations in their dorm, trying their best to reign in the Halloween theme for Ryujin.

"I'm so fucking glad that exams are over," Chae sighs, practically skipping along the street as you descend towards the guys dorm.

It had taken you both three hours to get ready, after returning from your exam. The other girls had started an hour before you'd even arrived.

"You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to getting drunk tonight," she continued, spinning around in her costume. Ryujin had planned Harry Potter themed outfits for her, Yuna, Chae and Lia, and while the former three girls looked incredible, poor Lia was still stuffed in her bed with the flu.

"Oh girl," you chuckle, watching your friend smile back at you with glee, laughing when Yuna attempts to push Ryujin into a bush in front of you. "I know exactly how you feel."

And you did. The only things on your mind were 1. To have fun and wash away the stress of exams tonight and 2. To find out what monster was behind this account.

You knew it was taking a toll on your friends, too. Jeongin, the usually chirpy boy with the biggest, 'I don't give a fuck' mindset out of anyone of your friends, had been reduced to a shell of himself after his so called secret was leaked. You, Hyunjin and Minho had sat with him for hours consoling him and trying to figure out a way to navigate the situation.

What you couldn't wrap your head around was why the account would lie about Jeongin's 'secret'. It made no sense considering everything else they had revealed was fact. It threw a spanner in the works for you, and it was hard to pin the blame on anyone.

"Wait till you see the guys in their costumes," Ryujin claps her hands, grinning like a maniac. She'd spent hours choosing which costumes to give them, since none of them had the time (nor the energy) to choose them themselves. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave her in charge. At least, some of the boys would definitely agree. She'd been especially brutal with Changbin's outfit, all things considered.

Walking into the boys dorm, what could only be described as chaos ensued. Ryujin had clearly spared no expense, and you counted Hyunjin lucky that you'd forced Ryujin to let him do a couples costume with you and keep him out of her evil scheme.

Jeongin was jumping from furniture to furniture, pretending to shoot webs out of his hands while Chan shouted at him. Chan's costume might have been your favourite as you stood clinging to Ryujin as laughter overcomes you. It might have been, but when you turned to your left and caught a glimpse of Changbin, your opinion quickly changed. Ryujin literally collapsed into a heap on the floor laughing at him.

"I know we've had our fair share of disagreements, but really Jin?" Changbin whines, tapping a crumpled Ryujin with a cowboy boot. "Look at the state of me!"

Minho pops up out of nowhere to stab Changbin's neck at that point, manically laughing when Changbin rubs at the spot Minho's fake weapon had attempted to impale him. You shake your head at their antics, smiling when a pair of toned arms wrap around your torso.

"You look sexy as fuck," Hyunjin says lowly into your ear, placing a kiss against your cheek as he spins you in his arms.

"Watch the makeup!" You laugh, shaking your head and giving him a once over. If he thought you looked hot, he was something else entirely. You decided to give him a proper kiss, placing your lips against his momentarily.

"Ew," you hear Jeongin say from Chan's confinements after being forced back onto two feet firmly on the ground. "Get a room!"

You roll your eyes at the younger boy, grabbing Hyunjin's hand and pulling him towards the kitchen. You hear the music start playing and can only assume Jisung has managed to connect to the speaker.

"I'm serious," Hyunjin says into your ear from behind you, placing his hands on your hips and spinning you around to face him. You hear a chorus of 'ooh's from your friends; Ryujin, Felix, Yuna, and Chan in the kitchen. You flip them off without a second thought.

"Yeah yeah, I'm hot, move on," you say cheekily, giving him a grin. Hyunjin just shakes his head at you, pulling out ingredients to create your favourite cocktail. "Mojito?"

"Of course," he replies, expertly concocting the drink you love so much. "I bought the ingredients yesterday just for you."

"Don't act like it's not your favourite too," you point out, to which he puts up his hands in defeat. You watch as Ryujin busts into the kitchen with her camera, giggling like a maniac.

"Pose for a picture! I'm gonna post all our costumes as a competition and see who gets the most likes," she explains, ushering you to Hyunjin's side and making you both turn around to face her. You roll your eyes with a smile, leaning into the tall man beside you and making a peace sign.

Just before Ryujin snaps the image, Hyunjin presses his lips to your cheek, making you grin. The flash goes off, and Ryujin audibly squeals when she sees the photo she's taken.

"You guys are ridiculously cute, look," she says, turning the camera to show you both the image. Hyunjin wraps an arm round you, giving the photo a thumbs up.

"You're so talented, Jinni," he says in approval, which you nod at. "If we don't win I'll be pissed."

"Mojitos!" Yuna interrupts then, bounding up to you and Hyunjin and giving him a pout. "One for me?"

Hyunjin shakes his head smiling, bringing out a third glass. "Whatever you wish."

Yuna sends you a grin before pointing at Ryujin, the latter attempting to take a picture of Jeongin whilst he springs around the room. You can't help but laugh at your friends antics, thankful your mind has been well and truly taken away from all the drama this semester had caused you.

"Stay still!" Ryujin shouts, furiously moving her camera to track Jeongin's position. Seungmin walks into the kitchen then, so Ryujin turns her attention onto him instead, making him pose.

"Aren't you the cutest," Yuna compliments when Seungmin's finished, pinching his cheeks. He swats at her, rolling his eyes. Hyunjin hands both you and Yuna your cocktails, which you thank him for with a peck.

"Yeah, well I got it better than some of the other guys. Chan's saying his frat bros have a Halloween themed party going on and want us to join, but Changbin's refusing to be seen by anyone else in his costume," he explains, nodding to Changbin who's sulking in the kitchen corner as Ryujin takes his picture, too.

"A frat party?" You question, sending Seungmin a raised eyebrow. "Do we not recall how the last one went down?"

You point at the subtle scar on your cheek for good measure, which Yuna pouts at, giving it a kiss.

"You're beautiful," she says with a grin, which you stick your tongue out at. "But yeah, as much as I'd love to see Chan's gorgeous frat friends again, I dunno if it's a good idea."

"You know I'd usually agree, but Chan says there's not a lot of people there, since they had their actual big Halloween party on Saturday. This is just a small costume party for the frat guys and their close friends," Seungmin informs you, shrugging his shoulders.

Hyunjin turns to you with a shrug. "I'd be down. I wouldn't be surprised if Alex has already messaged me about it," he says, referring to one of his friends that's also a member of the frat. You'd been informed by Hyunjin later on that he was the one that had driven you to the hospital that one time. "But if you're not up for it, we don't need to go."

He turns to you, and you sigh. "Oh, what the fuck, why not. It would be nice for you and Chan to see your friends again. Plus, we could all use a good night. As long as that guy Changbin fought isn't there."

"Nah, Chan said he was some guy from a rival frat," Yuna says with a grimace, shivering. "Was winding him up all night apparently. Anyway, that's a no go topic for tonight. This is post exam, audition and drama stress fun."

She gives you a wink as Hyunjin cocks his head at the blonde. "How did your audition go, anyway?"

Yuna had already informed you how her audition for the end of year showcase the drama department put on had gone, after it had happened. The play that had been chosen was Legally Blonde, so obviously Yuna was gunning for the lead.

"Excellently, of course," she replied with a flick of her hair. "I think the recent drama gave me a good edge to my performance."

Hyunjin laughs at her, but Seungmin says nothing, just grabbing his phone where it was placed on the counter. "Let's tell the others we're gonna go, yeah?"

Nodding in reply, you walk through to the living area of the boys dorm. Jeongin's finally pulled his mask down, bleach blonde hair fluffy atop his head. He was desperate to get it dyed back, his roots growing out quickly. Hyunjin was much the same, though you'd admitted to him you liked the blonde locks, and forced him to keep it just a little longer.

"Ryujin, I love you, but I'm changing before we go," Felix says, shouting through to her whilst running into his room. Changbin groans at that, digging his heels into the carpet with a pout. You chuckle, taking your jacket from Hyunjin and thanking him.

"I want to change too! Chan, please can we go back to ours?" He pleads, giving the older man his best puppy eyes. Chan shakes his head absentmindedly.

"No can do. Felix!" He shouts, though Felix reappears instantly, sporting a hoodie and baggy jeans. "Oh. Excellent timing. Let's go, everyone!"

"Yes dad," Jisung groans, pulling the witch hat off of his head and chucking it on the ground before leaving the boys dorm. You watch Ryujin give him a glare, complaining she spent good money on that, before heading to the front of the pack with Chae, Chan, Minho and Felix.

"This outfit better pull me mad chicks tonight," Jeongin says, hanging back with you and Hyunjin as you follow the same route to your sister university. Hyunjin shakes his blonde head at him.

"You do realise you need actual rizz to pull chicks, right?" He berates the younger boy, ruffling his hair with a grin.

"Fuck off, Hyunjin," Jeongin whines, pulling away from his older friend. "You clearly have no rizz, since you two haven't even -"

"Okay!" You shout, pushing the younger boy away and watching him turn around with a devious smirk. "Ignore him, he thinks he's invincible in that Spider-Man costume."

Hyunjin chuckles, not saying much as you cross the road to the frats. As Seungmin had mentioned, the frat wasn't brimming with drunk college students like the last time you were here. It appeared much more civilised, Chan's friend greeting you at the door and ushering you in, with maybe twenty people drinking casually and chatting around the large entryway.

"Plenty of drinks in the kitchen," his friend grins, chucking an arm around Chan as you all start to mingle. "Yuna, Sungwoon's been talking about you nonstop, he's outside."

Yuna gives a happy squeal, giving you a wave before making a beeline outdoors. Jeongin pulls you towards the kitchen area with Felix, and before you get a second to think you're downing shots with them. Taking note of the fact Hyunjin's standing with Alex, you make three drinks and head in their direction, passing the two men their glasses.

"Thanks, angel," Hyunjin smiles, giving you a kiss on the cheek. He slings an arm around you comfortably, and you appreciate how easy it is to be with him. You didn't know what you expected, being official with Hyunjin, but it was honestly better than you could have imagined.

"Yeah, cheers," Alex thanks you, clinking your glasses. "I'm actually glad you guys are finally together. Hyunnie boy wouldn't shut up about you for months."

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, pushing his friend with a laugh. "Yep, shut up Alex."

Raising an eyebrow, you squint your eyes at Hyunjin. "Months, eh?"

"Don't let it get to your head," he smirks, giving Alex the evils.

The next couple hours are spent chatting to more of Alex's friends, which had become Hyunjin'a friends by association, sprawled out on the comfortable sofas in the living area. The girls dip in and out, coming to chat periodically before getting swept away again.

After a while, you feel yourself start to yawn, the stress of exams evidently taking their toll. Hyunjin saunters up to you, making Jeongin gag from his spot beside you on the sofa, instantly fleeing the scene.

"Hey babe," he grins, pecking your cheek. Smiling back, you pull your knees to your chest, leaning into him. "Tired?"

"Mhm," you sigh back. "Those all nighters have fucked me up big."

He laughs, patting your head fondly. "Wanna come back to the dorm with me? I'm shattered too, but these freaks don't seem like they're leaving any time soon."

He nods his head towards your friends, scattered around the frat. You can't help but smile at them, most of them still in their costumes, chatting and drinking. It was your favourite thing to see, then having fun. To Hyunjin, you nod sleepily.

"Sounds good to me. Let me say bye to the girls," you say, heaving yourself off the sofa and wandering off in Yuna's direction. She notices you straight away, pulling you in for a side hug - evidently blasted.

"Peeling off early with your boy toy?" She raises her eyebrows mischievously, placing your face in her hands. "Don't blame you. My guy's gone to sleep already, idiot."

"Where's Ryujin?" You say in between laughter, taking the odd alcoholic concoction out of Yuna's hands and pulling her into the kitchen.

"No clue to be honest," she says, downing the water you give her. "Saw her last maybe an hour ago?"

"She just messaged saying she's alright," Chae chirps, joining you both. "Like five minutes ago? Dunno where she actually is though."

"Aw, let her have her fun," Yuna swats her hand, tilting her head. "After everything with Changbin she deserves a bit of freedom."

"My thoughts exactly," you agree, winking at Chae who laughs. "Anyway, get home safe, message me when your back, and let me know how Lia is. See you guys in the morning?"

The girls hug you, bidding their farewells. You wave bye to Jeongin, Chan and Jisung, the only of the guys you can see, before meeting Hyunjin at the entrance and leaving. You both spend the short walk home chatting about the night, keeping both your spirits high.

"Did you see Felix like, at all?" Hyunjin asks while he uses his key card to unlock the door to his dorm. "I swear I saw him once and then he disappeared."

"Honestly I feel like everyone split off to mingle pretty early on," you reply lazily, kicking off your shoes and jacket. It was almost eerie how quiet Hyunjin's dorm was, usually bustling with all the boys. "It was nice to talk to your friends, though."

"Yeah, they seemed to like you a lot," he grins, turning and placing his hands on your hips. "Not surprised though, with a face like yours."

"Oh, that's all I am, huh?" You say slyly. "A pretty face?"

"And a beautiful dancer, a smartass, a funny little thing..." he berates you, which you hit him on the shoulder for. He only shakes his head. "Seriously though? How lucky am I to call you mine, yeah?"

"Im yours now, am I?" You raise an eyebrow, letting him pull you closer towards him.

He rolls his eyes dramatically, inching forward. "If you're willing to be stuck with me."

You grin, tilting your head. "Right back at you."

He ends your back at forth by kissing you, a hand placed on your cheek, simultaneously moving you backwards to his room. Giggling between kisses, you turn the handle to his door and watch him kick it shut behind him, deepening the kisses and moving you to sit on his bed.

You pull apart, watching his handsome face stare down at you with a smile. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're stunning," he says instantly, not missing a beat. "And I thoroughly enjoy looking at you. You do need to take that face makeup off though, because it's completely smudged."

"So is yours!" You laugh, placing a thumb over his lips and smudging it even more. "Fuck, no makeup remover here."

"Come again?" Hyunjin says, holding up a bottle of makeup remover and cotton pads. You furrow your eyebrows in astonishment.

"You have makeup remover?" You ask shocked as he hands you it whilst removing his own makeup.

"I dunno," he says once he's finished. "I bought some stuff you might need incase you stay over. Dorm full of boys, not much feminine equipment here."

You laugh as you finish removing your own makeup, setting everything down on his bedside table.

"How considerate of you," you smile when he sits next to you on the bed. He rolls his eyes.

"It's more of an excuse so you stay more."

"Oh yeah?" You respond slyly before he starts kissing you again, a hand moving to your cheek. You stay like that for a while until you take the initiative, playing with the hem of his tshirt.

"What's this?" Hyunjin says with a smirk, breaking away from you momentarily to look at your hands.

"What?" You say with a giggle, shrugging shyly. "Is it so wrong of me to want to take your top off?"

"You first," he nods, which you hit him for with a laugh. "Seriously though, are you sure you're okay to take this further?"

You squint at him. "Do I look like I'm not sure?"

"Baby," he sighs, tilting his head. "I'm just making sure you want this. God help me, you must know how much I want you."

You feel a tingle down your spine at his words, but you play it cool, smiling up at Hyunjin.

"I want you right back," you reply, nodding to solidify your certainty. He laughs at you, shaking his head.

"And you're not drunk?" He says seriously.

"I stopped drinking hours ago. Stop stalling, dickhead," you say, pushing his shoulder gently.

"Okay, okay, I guess I'm just nervous," he says with a shaky laugh, and you tilt your head at him. "Come on. I know you've heard the rumours about me on campus hell, even from our friends. I don't want you to have expectations here because frankly I have very low confidence on how long I'm gonna last."

You chuckle at him, taking his face in your hands. "I don't care about your sex god rumours, Hyun."

This seems to give him some confidence, because with a final shake of his head, he's kissing you again, slowly pushing you down onto his bed. He kisses your neck, hard enough to leave marks which you'll kill him for in the morning but right now you just don't care.

"I have no idea when the guys will be back," he says breathlessly as he pulls away from your neck.

"Better make this quick then," you smirk, almost confused at how easy this feels. In the past, your sexual encounters had been rushed, messy one night stands or awkward fifth date endings. You'd never felt so many feelings towards someone you were intimate with before, and it made all the difference.

"Next time, I promise I will take my time with you," he says, reattaching himself on your chest, moving your top to the side to give him access.

"Next time?" You say breathlessly, which he rolls his eyes at, pulling you towards him to remove your tshirt and his own, and Jesus - this boy should take his top off more often. His toned stomach, defined biceps...the list goes on.

"Trust me," he whispers, unclasping your bra and throwing it on the floor. He looks up at you, puppy eyes that draw you in immediately. "There's gonna be a next time."

And you're entranced, watching him work his magic on your body, hands and tongue everywhere. He pulls down your skirt, and then your underwear, and you don't feel insecure for even a second when he attaches himself to your core, spreading open your legs. Your hands fly straight to his hair, tugging at the blonde strands without a coherent thought.

"Hyunjin," you groan, lifting his head up to face you. "I want you, now. Before anyone gets back."

He smirks, his classic smirk, wetness dripping from his lips. "Don't have to tell me twice."

After removing his jeans and boxers, he rolls on a condom, aligning himself, an arm propping himself up by your head. He leans in, kissing you gently.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, using his other hand to move the stray hair from your face and rubbing your cheek with his thumb. "I can't wait until I can spend hours making you feel good."

This man. He made you feel so ridiculously turned on it should be a crime. He pushes into you slowly, not leaving your eyes as he does so. The stretch is manageable, but you wince nonetheless, his hand intertwining with yours immediately.

"You're okay," he says, a statement that makes you feel at ease instantly. "Tell me if it hurts."

"It's okay," you smile, pecking his lips quickly. "You can move."

It takes a minute of his slow movements for you to get used to his size, but once you do, the pleasure is unmatched. He finds a rhythm that works for the both of you, hitting the spot deep inside of you that has you whining his name and your eyes rolling back. He places a hand on the headboard of his bed, increasing his pace when he sees how much you enjoy it.

"You feel so fucking amazing," he groans, dipping down to kiss you as much as he can through your breathlessness. "Fucking hell, you have no idea how hard it is to hold back right now."

"Then don't," you say instantly, prioritising his pleasure over yours. You definitely had heard the stories on campus of Hyunjin - one in which he was the only guy who had made a girl finish in her life before, so you knew he'd make it up to you. Right now, all you wanted was for him to let go.

"Fuck, don't say that," he shakes his head, moving a hand to grip your waist as he pulls himself inside and out of you rapidly.

"Do it. Cum for me, Hyun," you all but whine, which seems to be his breaking point, he groans, thrusting into you hard a couple more times before slowing down and stilling inside of you.

"I hate you," he groans, face hidden in your shoulder. You laugh, catching your breath as your chest rises and falls. "I seriously hate you. I could have kept going."

And that's the moment the door to the boys dorm swings open and you hear the boys crashing in, completely smashed. Jeongin's distinct voice overpowers as he stumbles around the living room, complaining that daddy Chan removed him from the fun.

"Good thing you didn't," you smirk, a hand gently pulling through Hyunjin's blonde hair, which he laughs at, groaning as he untangles himself from you to dispose of the condom.

"Bro, you're smashed. Go to fucking bed," you hear Minho say to Jeongin, whilst Hyunjin pulls on his boxers and chucks you one of his large tshirts. You pull it on, laughing at the guys outside. There's a banging on Hyunjin's door then, which he rolls his eyes at.

"Hope you wore protection, sex lord!" Jeongin shouts through, Hyunjin replying with a, 'shut the fuck up.'

"Jeongin! Go to sleep!" Seungmin shouts from his room, Hyunjin flopping back into bed with you.

"I say we wait five before we go out to brush our teeth," Hyunjin chuckles, kissing you on the lips gently. "Hopefully by then Jeongin will have crashed."

"You want me to use your toothbrush?" You ask, an eyebrow raised.

"Hell no! I bought you your own," he fake gags. You smile at him sleepily, ruffling his hair.

"You're just the cutest," you coo. He swats at you in return, pulling you into his arms.

"Nah. All you."

"Gross!" Jeongin shouts. "Nobody wants to hear your declarations of love!"

You only shake your head at him, thankful for the man holding you. Everything may have gone to shit in the last two months, but at least one good thing had came out of it. And you weren't planning to get rid of him anytime soon.

@cursed-mars-bars @imasimplol @hyunverse @aestaeticous @dorisnumber1fan @amnmich @detectivedoodle @mara-mars @end0rchans @raresevng @nhyunn @lixie-phoria @beomgyusonlywife @seolarpower @cuddlethebear r @weird-bookworm @ceelestic @worcesheshestershiresauce @hyuneyeon @downbadreading @where-is-innie @its-hannjisung @weird0o0 @sxhxnax @moretinyideas eas @realrintaro @pinkcherryblossomangel el @tesywesy @beaann @cutesince2000 @lynlyndoll @furryenthusiastbread @nyasstars @eyearebee @lynlyndoll

[enbylestat]

I plead atheism, what’s a blasphemy G-d doesn’t exist. — Lestat

The bi-slut-brat (affectionate) is about to do so much “blasphemy” let the flesh instruct the mind. 😈

Im gonna write the most blasphemous thing I ever have and secure my fate as a complete and total heathen. 🙏📿🧎🍑🍆✨💥

This is the way.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Vocem Virtutis

Lat. "voice of virtue"

Prequel to Incursio Infernalis, but can be read as standalone story.

18+ | 5k. words | Alexander Anderson x f! Reader | slow burn

Summary: Unbeknownst to you, the only thing standing between Anderson and his madness is the bond you formed.

Warnings: Mental illness, violent thoughts, masturbation, slight voice kink, injury, blood, fabricated backstory, they're both so in denial it is aggravating

Heretics. All of them.

It was far past midnight when the Paladin walked aimlessly around the estate, low growls deteriorating into manic laughter.

Anderson always knew he was just as much of a monster as those he had sworn to exterminate.

Born in sin by vile excuses of human beings, doomed to suffer unspeakable from his very first breath. That was probably the reason why he is so adamant to help children in need, and also why seeing people indulge in impure habits makes him see red.

Much to his luck however he was always a force of nature, massive in size and muscle even before the genetic enhancement - resilient despite the circumstances and at some point able to fend for himself.

When the time came that he was surrendered to the orphanage, there was nothing left but a sociopath with an unquenchable thirst for violence.

Not able to escape his past, he carried a darkness inside of him that was almost impossible to contain. A bloodlust that, if not contained, could be catastrophal for people in his vincinity.

But he did not want to hurt innocents the way it was done to him.

Anderson found solace in his faith. Discipline and self-restraint were obligatory, attributes he desperately needed to contain this wicked part of his soul.

The nuns at the orphanage drilled their ideals and ways into his head from a very young age, channeling his wrath into a direction that was beneficial - thus effectively turning him into the Vatican's bloodhound.

They convinced him that god doesn't make mistakes, that his creation is always flawless, and that everyone - including himself - exists for a reason. The thought was a consolation for the young lad he once was.

Yes, he is a necessary evil, his unholy purpose to fight evil even worse than mankind. And so he found an outlet for this erratic need to destroy.

But that doesnt change what he was, and during peaceful nights like this was one, his patience grew dangerously thin.

It has been weeks since he's last been on a mission, and controlling this overwhelming power becoming more and more of an impossible task. His whole body was burning like a witch on the pyre, muscles aching for the thrill to tear something apart.

Subconsciously, he is already searching for a victim. The slightest mistake, the most trivial overstepping would be punished severely...

...and then he found you.

Faint moonlight illuminated the hallways as you cradled an infant in your arms, quietly lulling it back to sleep. It was a sight to behold, accentuated with your balmy voice managing to calm his erratic nerves.

Without being aware of it, you spared someone an unnecessary gruesome demise.

You gasped when you notice something shuffle in the shadows, not expecting anyone to be up at this hour. But your expression visibly relaxed when you recognized the face of the Paladin.

"Apologies, dear. I did not mean to startle you." He was quick to put on the harmless facade, hands crossed behind his back as he greeted you. "What a wonderful song that was. You should join the choir at our mass."

"O-oh. Good evening, Father" you stutter as his imposing figure towers over you, nervous under his scrutiny. "I hope I did not disturb your rest?"

"Not at all." The man gifted you a polite smile and your lips mirror his. "I barely need sleep. Just making my rounds to assure everything is safe."

You chant in acknowledgement before tending to the baby again, softly patting it's back as it let out a whine. "Who's that lil' fella? A new addition to the flock?"

"It's a boy" you explain, "Doesn't have a name yet. I think he's colicky, but I am new to...well...this."

If only Maxwell had someone so nurturing care for him back in the day, then the boy wouldn't be half as miserable.

Well, he's one to talk...

The assassin made a gesture with his hand, signalizing you to hand the child over to him. You hesitate, not wanting to give up on the task already, but surrender for the baby's sake.

"You're humble, that is good" he preaches, "But the nuns told me you are doing splendid. You're a great help and the children love you very much already."

You watch as he coos sweet affirmations towards the infant, easily settling it stomach first onto his forearm. "One of the perks of being tall" he jokes and you chuckle along. It's an adorable sight, a behemoth like him handling a newborn with so much care. "Remember this technique, it's very helpful."

"Thank you very much, Father" you cheer, practically beaming up at him as you both watch the child drift into a sweet slumber.

As he hands you the child back, you could've sworn his hands linger on yours for a little longer than necessary. "Well then, lass, I bid you a good night-"

"Wait!" you exclaim, lowering your voice as you remembered that everyone else was sleeping. "I just...I'll tuck the baby in, and...maybe we share some tea?"

Anderson quirks a brow at the unexpected suggestion. He could've sworn you avoided him like the pest ever since he freed you from that Vampire's lair two months ago. Got the sentiment, though. He was a frightening person in general, and seeing him so unhinged was certainly not a very good first impression.

But knowing that rest is unlikely for him he chooses your company over his humble bedroom any time. "Aye, then we meet at the library. I'll prepare the rest."

Only ten minutes later you sit in the huge armchairs across each other, the fireplace heated and tea served. Even some sweet treats laid out on the table for you.

"You didn't have to go out of your way..." you murmur, hesistantly reaching for a bisquit.

"Well, it's not everyday that I get an invitation like this" he laughs in that deep tone of his, the cup comically small in his large hands. "So tell me, how have you adjusted?"

"Everyone is very kind" you note happily, "But it's a lot to learn." Truth be told, you were catholic only on paper. So you had to start gaining knowledge from ground zero.

"We all worked hard to fit into our role" he answers with wisdom, "And struggle is part of growth." He sees you clutch the cup harder, shuffle uncomfortably tense in your seat. "So...what did you really want to talk to me about?"

"I-I guess I never got the chance to thank you." Well that went in a completely different direction than he anticipated. "For saving me back then, and especially for offering me to stay. I don't know how I can ever repay you..."

Anderson sighed as he put down the cup. "God has saved you, lamb. I'm just his humble tool. And knowing you're thriving is all reward I need, really." He then looks down to your hands, worried as he saw them shaking ever so slightly. "If my presence makes you uncomfortable-"

"N-No! Of course not!" you cut him off immediately, saddened that your reaction caused a misunderstanding. "I'm just a lil' jittery still, because...seeing you, it just...brings back memories of that night."

"Take all the time you need to heal." He briefly puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder before retracting it and you're glad that he is so understanding. "But remember, the Vatican is one of the safest places in the entire world. And...you're part of my flock now, lamb. You're always protected."

"I know that, Father" you respond, "And I'm very grateful." Stirring the spoon in the empty cup, you timidly add "Say, if you're an insomniac like me, we could make this a habit? It was very helpful talking to you."

There was a long pause between your question and his answer.

For a moment he was contemplating to preach at you for even voicing this preposition, concerned for your intentions. But in the end, why not? This was a public space, and as long as it limits to innocent socializing, there was nothing forbidden about it.

This might be a routine worth implementing. A lesser evil surely, if it means keeping him from doing the things he's normally capable of when bored.

"I enjoyed myself as well" he admits, "Let's hope you get some sleep rather, but I'd be glad to see you again."

That aggreement soon evolved into a wonderful friendship, meeting up at the library whenever the two of you were unable to find rest. Which was quite often, mind you.

And the more you got to know about the unusual Paladin, the more he positively surprised you.

Anderson singlehandedly funded this entire orphanage, not keeping a single coin of his earnings to himself. He officially adopted every orphan himself, though it pained you to hear that some chosen individuals would be trained to join Iscariot if they come of age.

He knew everything about each child, spending basically his whole scarce free time caring for them. So even during the day you spend a lot of time together through teaching, everyday tasks, or taking them on trips.

Except for you, the children are the only ones that actively seek his presence. He admires that their spirits are still free of judgement, he once admitted. It seems like his opinion about himself was rather sombre as well, yet he kept any details to himself no matter how relentlessly you pried.

The nights you spent learning from him, oftentimes getting into arguments about how one interprets certain passages of the bible. Or going on strolls through the garden, starting to feel safe again even in the midst of the night.

It was especially enjoyable to listen to the astonishing stories about his everlasting battle against the supernatural. You'd always wait for him to return from each mission, no matter how late, and he figures this must be what it feels like to have a wife to come home to.

At least it's the closest he can get.

As hard to explain as it was, but Anderson actually felt a lot more human in your vincinity.

However it did not go unnoticed how close the two of you had gotten, apparent in how his gaze lingered on you during mass or the way you were drawn to each other, touching 'by accident' conspicuously often.

Were you even aware of this yourselves?

Though for a long time, no one dared to speak up or address the topic. Most were equal parts respecting and fearing the Judas Priest, the infamous Regenerator, God's Assassin. Others, like Maxwell for example, were too corrupt themselves to care whatever Anderson does during his free time as long as he fulfill his job.

If anything, he's glad not to have to hide any bodies anymore.

So you were absolutely flabbergasted when the Reverend Mother inquisitioned about your affilliations with the Paladin, to say the least. To her defenses, she knew him ever since childhood, and during her time at the order she witnessed countless fools starting to harbor indecent feelings for each other.

The two of you were an open book to her, one could say.

And even after assuring that the Priesr was on his best behavior, her warning left a carve in your relationship. "Anderson is a well-respected member of the order, and an exceptional warrior for our faith. I know he can be quite charming, but don't be fooled" she said, emphasizing every word. "Behind the mask there lies a deeply troubled individual, and I am worried for your safety."

Eventually, her words would soon be confirmed to be true when one night, he returned from a mission like so many times before - but this time, his demeanour had changed completely.

It was surely not the first time you saw him covered in red, always scolding him that the children might wake and see him this way.

Apprehension crept on you when you saw his broad shoulders having with every breath, and much to your horror you realized it was his own blood this time, pouring out from a gaping wound that reached from his chest to his stomach.

"Anderson!" you exclaimed as if you could physically feel his pain, a mystery to you how he could even stand upright right now. "Shit, what happened?"

"Language" he scolded you and if the situation wasn't so severe, you certainly would've laughed about his priorities. "We need to get you to the infirmary" you order, slipping your head under his arm to support him.

"This needs to be stitched. I already called for a doctor. Lay down." Anderson was amazed how you could keep a clear head all while tending to his wounds with such great skill, but he wasn't complaining.

"How's that even possible?" you utter under your breath, having offered the man a hand while you disinfected the cut. "Certain beings have unique abilities" he grids, flexing his fists in anger. "That bloody cunt...next time I'll make her choke on her own guts..."

You've never heard him talk like that before, but there wasn't much time to process his words since the pressure on your hand increases to a painful degree. And even while temporarily rendered powerless, he was still strong, inhumanly so. "Anderson, it hurts...Anderson!"

Luckily he snaps out of it before breaking your wirst like a twig, shocked with himself as he heard your pained whimpers. Both of you didn't even register the knock on the door, interrupting this moment much to your relief. "Y/N? The doctor you requested is he- uh, is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes, thank you" you urge the nun, "Send him in and go back to sleep." She didn't need to be told twice, glad to not be the subject of his wrath.

The medic didn't even have the chance to start his work, a bayonett pointed towards his throat as soon as he had entered the room. "Did I just catch you staring improper at this woman, you imbecile?!"

You want to protest, barely even having explained the situation to the doctor, but the Paladin continues his threats. "I'm sick and tired of this half-assed pretense you people call practicing our faith. I can turn you inside out anytime, so I wouldn't look at her again if you want to keep your head."

Anderson's expression was sinister, fists still balled so tightly that his gloves almost tear. He relentlessly cites bible verses to silence his head, but to no avail. Despite the possible danger, you softly grab his hand holding the blade, looking at him all doe-eyed until he'd surrender the weapon to you.

"Sing for me, would ya'" he asks out of the blue, and you immediately understand that he needs it to remain calm. You choose a religious song, of course, to remind him of his duties.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wrench like me

I once was lost, but now I found

Was blind, but now I see."

The poor doctor was sweating heavily during the whole process, the fact that you never left his side making it even more complicated for him. Anderson had closed his eyes, trying to focus on the sound of your voice instead of the raging anger inside of him. He wouldn't even flinch as his flesh got poked again and again, and you wondered how much pain a person had to endure to reach this level of unresponsiveness.

"You should leave as long as he can still suppress his bloodlust" you tell the man contradictionary cheerful, "I'll wrap him up. Thank you very much." He flees the scene as fast as possible, leaving the two of you alone once again.

"That was unnecessary and cruel" you scold him as you apply several compresses. He just scoffs bitterly, stubbornly. "Oh please, I know an infidel when I see one" He mentally adds "...and that man was staring you down like a piece of meat." Probably more projection that anything.

"Is that so?" You refuse to look him in the eyes, instead busying yourself with the wound. "Would you have killed me too if you knew I wasn't practicing the religion back then?"

Your accusation send a pang of guilt straight to his chest. Just to imagine harming you makes him feel sick.

"...that's- you're different" he lies, knowing it was absolutely in his range of possibility. You internally groan at his ignorance and hypocrysy. He's such a blockhead sometimes, incorrigible in his ways.

"You're so filled with hatred that you forget the Lord's preachings about forgiveness and love" you state and he narrows his eyes at you. How dare you act like you know the holy script better than a literal priest, the one that teached you no less? "You better shut your mouth now, woman."

Unimpressed by his empty threat, you cross your arms in frustration. "Or else what, you're gonna stab me too?"

"Of...of course not" he mutters, hiding behind the reflection of his glasses as he turns his head away. But you cup his cheek with your hand, gently forcing him to look you into those damn enticing eyes of yours.

"M'sorry" Anderson finally said, unaware that he's leaning into your touch, the stubble of his beard tickling your palm. "I did not mean to scare ya'."

Placing one hand over his heart as you help him sit up, you claim "You could never."

Now that he finally became level-headed again, a tidal wave of shame washed over the Paladin. You were clearly a mess, unable to keep it together any longer now that he's out of danger. Seeing him like this made the flashbacks of your captivity re-emerge, eyes beginning to water as you blink back tears.

Anderson knew how people behaved around him after having seen behind the act. He expected you to flee, to never speak to him again unless necessary, maybe even asking to be relocated...

...but instead you wrap your arms around Anderson's bandaged thorso, sobbing heavily as you listen to his ragged heartbeat.

He's human after all. He does have a heart.

Just needed to make sure.

Both phsyically and mentally exhausted, Anderson put his head atop of yours, huffing quite irritated with himself. You were so small and fragile compared to him, so pure and precious. He cannot bear the possibility of getting you in harm's way. He needs to better himself.

For the Lord, for the orphanage, for you.

"Why did you stay?" he finds himself asking, practically having to tear himself away from your warmth. Shouldn't indulge into the feeling too much.

"Because I care for you, Father" you retort instantly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're working hard to protect us, and I'm thankful for that. I can't even imagine what sacrifices you had to make to turn out like this. But I'm sure you'll never hurt me...at least not intentionally."

He looks down to your wrist, already bruising in several colors, and tenderly lets his thumb ghost over it. "Still, that must've been frightening."

"Did you forget how we meet?" you snort way too carefree, "You basically slaughtered your way through ghouls while laughing like a madman. I always knew what you are, Anderson."

"...you got a kind heart, lamb." He resisted to press a kiss atop of your head, still hearing your feeble snivels. You got a different kind of strenght, one that makes you continue no matter the circumstances. He always admired this about you. "Thanks for leading me through these trying times."

"Just like you did for me." Anderson looks at you for a while longer, and he can't help but think your smile is one of god's greatest miracles.

From this day onwards, the bond you two shared grew even tighter.

Anderson was pleasantly surprised that your courage wasn't just pretend, since the way you acted towards him didn't change in the slightest - even after peeking behind his civilized mask.

What bothers him however is the fact that he cannot seem to stop thinking about you, even when you're far away. Each time he saw you his heart would hammer like a drum in his chest, and suddenly he would lose the ability to form any coherent words.

He must be sick, he thinks. But that was literally impossible. Cursed, maybe? Also no.

Actually, he knew exactly what was going on. He was celibate, usually not prone to affections. But then again, you were special - for better or worse.

So a challenge from god to test his resolve, it is.

You on the other hand were blissfuly unaware of the effect you had on him, though sometimes he felt like you're teasing him on purpose. He'd snap at your friendliness out of nowhere, but quickly apologizes as he can't bear to be the reason for your sadness.

"Hey, big guy" you tug on his coat and he finally looks down, looming over you while scowling. "Are you there?"

"Oi" he murmurs, "You're getting a lil' too comfortable, don'tcha think? I'm still an authorative figure."

You half-pout at his harsh tone, but he's probably right. At least in the public you should treat him with the respect a man of his rank deserves. "I'm sorry, Father..."

"It's fine." The Paladin pats your head to reassure you, yet his gaze always wanders back down to your lips, wondering if they're as soft as they look like-

No. Never. He can't.

"I am needed elsewhere" he frantically shakes his head, hurrying without looking back. "Take care, lamb."

Yes, you're but an innocent lamb for he is a dangerous predator. His soul is already doomed to limbo, but he needs to stay away for your own sake.

"What is his deal lately?" you wonder as you look after him, "Did I do something wrong?"

He behaves even stranger than usual. Barely talks, always buried in thought. Winces whenever you touch, as if he just burned himself on a stove - no, like he was just about to put his hand into hellfire itself.

Noticing the bruise that was currently healing stick out from your sleeve, you figure he must still feel bad about what happened. Ever since that night he seemed so distant, but it was obvious that something was eating him away.

Maybe he just needs more time to understand you accept him with all of his facets.

Anything but acknowledging what turmoil was going on in both your hearts, huh?

It wasn't until a few weeks later, after a particulary bad day, that Anderson would give in to his wish to see you. Another mission had gone south, and talking about it was probably a better way to vent than sticking his bayonett into some poor half-wit.

When he entered the library however, the room was dark and empty. Can't blame you after how he treated you formerly.

He opted to accept your offer to just knock at your door whenever he's in need - something a man of faith like himself would usually say to his believers. It was nice to be at the receiving end for a change, knowing a gentle soul like you wouldn't deny him your help even after he wronged you.

Only when he stood in front of your room he noticed the time - 1am already, middle of the might. You're probably asleep, he shouldn't bother you-

Shuffling from the inside, almost inaudible but not to his keen senses. So you're awake. Good. But just when he was about to knock, the sound of muffled moans reached his ears.

Oh.

Ohhh.

Well, you aren't at fault here. You were raised by heathens, never teached properly. He should leave - no, kick in your door and tell you that this is unacceptable. Or should he tell the nuns to have a talk between women? But then he'd have to explain why he was there in the first place.

"An-der-son...mhh...plea-ah!"

Your voice was barely above a whisper, but it felt like a hammer right to his forehead. He fled the scene in an instant, already feeling guilty for eavesdropping, but the sound of your voice moaning his name continued to echo in his head.

"Fuck" he groaned, cupping his erection through his pants as he laid stiffly on his bed. It's been three cold showers but he was still rock hard, and slowly bur steadily his rationality made space for something more primal. He grips the sheets tight, feverishly trying to keep himself from committing a grave mistake.

There certainly wouldn't be a way back once he gave in to those urges.

The church had ingrained to him that lust was something wrong and dirty. He remembers like it was yesterday that the nuns would regulary check whether his and the other children's hands stayed above their blankets all night.

It's been decades without this sinful deed and while yes, he is not immune to temptations, his will had always been stronger than his flesh.

Until now.

None of it was important to him at that moment. He was aching to be touched, no matter how.

With a shuddered breath he freed his cock from it's confines, a whimper he didn't even know he could vocalize escaping his throat. He fiercely grabs the shaft, the angry tip already red and leaking precum.

Anderson is rough with himself, a mixture of inexperience and shame rushing him to make things quick. His mind wanders back to the way you practically begged for him to fuck you, and he'd be lying if the said it was the first time he had entertained such thoughts.

As he strokes himself, his fantasies wander back and forth between sheer worship and concerning punishment, making path for another kind of obsession that would be even harder to overcome than his bloodlust.

He wants to kiss you. He wants to choke you.

He wants to explore every inch of your body. He wants to cover it in whips and bruises.

He wants to make you feel good. He wants to make you repent.

He wants to hear you moan. He wants to hear you scream and beg for forgiveness.

He wants you to never leave his side. He wants to kill you for doing this to him.

He wants to you to be his in every way possible.

He wants-

Anderson utters vile curses as he came, hips bucking into his flexed hand as he covered his fingers, thighs, stomach up to his chest in his spent.

After the waves of his intense orgasm ebbed down however, there is nothing left but emptiness.

He is exasperated, feeling a million things at once: Anger, confusion, shame, loneliness. He should be more worried to have betrayed his oath, but all he could think of is how painfully he misses your warmth.

He hugs his pillow as he mutely weeps himself to sleep.

Several months later, a few days before christmas eve, Anderson was called to an emergency as a demonic entity was causing mayhem at a nearby town.

Why did it have to be an Incubus of all godforsaken things?!

With everything that has been happening as of late, he was rather vulnerable to the fiend's powers. But he'd be damned to refuse an opportunity like that - especially since his mind couldn't conjure any believable excuse that wouldn't at least partially reveal his dirty little secret.

Cutting you out of his life had felt like removing a tumor, slowly corrupting him from the inside but still being a part of himself.

And it grew back even stronger.

The only times he allowed himself to be around you these days was when the orphans were present. He was civil but reserved towards you, and while you never quite understood what you did to deserve such treatment, you never dared asking either.

Deep inside you had a feeling what this was about, but there was nothing you could do or say to return things to how they have been between you.

There's lines one simply shouldn't cross.

Not that you ever intended to, you were happy as things were. But you both had stepped foot into dangerous territory, gradually overstepping the limits that were acceptable.

And truth be told, Anderson still did.

The fact that you were still so sweet and caring towards him despite all of his shortcomings, all the pain he had caused you, it was eating him alive.

And made it impossible for him to stay away.

At least from afar he would seek out your presence, lingering in the shadows or keeping watch over you from the security of his own room. Though he told himself it was just to assure your safety, he felt guilty each time certain urges would overcome him as he spied, becoming more and more depraved in his attempts to feel close to you.

Anderson rubs his temple as he prays the undignified thoughts away, grabbing the small worn-out bagpack he'd always take to missions with him. He sighs in selfy-pity, finding a box with christmas cookies inside. There's a post-it with your handwriting attached to it, something about how it's a present from the children rather than yourself.

What a convenient lie, he thinks.

He takes one out and treats himself, mentally preparing - rather about having to spend the holidays with you than the upcoming fight. But then the loud beeping on his cellphone tears him away from his thoughts, and he freezes as he sees the name on the display.

It was you. A video-call even. Bloody hell.

Now he was glad that you had showed him how to use this fancy new device, instantly shutting off his own camera to not let his guard down.

"Hello? Anderson?" The screen freezes due to bad connection, but eventually it works. You were wearing a santa-hat, one of the infants on your lap waving at him. He can't help but smile at the endearing sight. "Yes, I'm here" he says in a nonetheless harsh tone, "Take that ridiculous thing off of your head. It's blasphemic."

"Well..." quite timid, you rub the back of your head as you point to the baby. "He just has a hard time sleeping, that's all." It sounds like some cheap excuse to call, but he knows you're being genuine. "Calls out for his 'dada' all the time" you chuckle to cover up your hurt pride. After all, you're with the children 24/7 and yet they're way more attached to their beloved Paladin. "Thought seeing-" you stare at the black screen kind of disappointed, "...or hearing you might help him settle."

You overexaggeratedly roll your eyes at the man. "Oh c'mon, don't be such a kill-joy. It's for the kids!" Oh he's had it with you and your flowery nonsense. Last time you almost made him feel bad for some damn protestants, that's how good you were at defending your naivety. "And what'r ya' doing up this late?"

"I hope I didn't disturb you?" Your eyes widen in bewilderment for a fraction, lips forming an O. "Ye' weren't."

"He'll get used to it over time" Anderson states objectively, "You should've seen Maxwell when he was that age. Was carrying that lil' lad for years, clingy one he was."

"Seriously?" You smirk mischievously, having found something to tease your annoying superior with. "I will never let him live this down."

You surrender your phone to the young boy, smiling dreamily as you hear Anderson half-chant to him in that gruff voice of his until it stopped being entertaining for the child. "I'll try bringing him to bed now, but are you free after?"

Anderson pauses for a while. "You should really go to sleep, lamb. You're overworking yourself."

"Just a few minutes, I promise. I don't want to rob you off your well-deserved sleep either" you wink, not knowing he'd rather stay awake than to be haunted by you in his dreams. It takes you longer than anticipated, though, but Anderson was rooted on spot until you called once again. A mere voice-call this time. That's better, easier if he doesn't have to look at you.

"Thanks for waiting" you greet him, but he brushes it off. "Enough chitchat. What do you want?"

There's a crack in your voice at the sharpness of his words, at the edge with which he chooses to speak. "I...figured after all this time, I deserve an answer to why we've drifted apart."

Anderson lets out a short, ragged breath. "Are- are you alright?" you ask, and it somehow enrages him even more. Why are you continuing to make it so hard for him to do the right thing?! He huffs, voice gravely. "Ya neednt worry 'bouta wrench like me."

"And yet I do" you insist, voice a lot smaller when you ask "So, what did I do wrong?"

"I don't think you could ever do something wrong" he admits softer now, insides churning at the saddened crack in your voice. "Even if you wanted to."

"Then why-" Stopping yourself from saying something unwise, you bite your bottom lip. "I miss you, Father. That's all."

It takes everything in him not to whine at the statement, to break down and confess that you're actually the most important person in his entire life. "I miss you too, ya' know?"

He hears you choke on a sob and clutches the phone tighter, clearing his throat in hopes you don't notice how his own voice is wavering. "Really, dear, you did nothing wrong" he repeats, the nickname leaving his lips faster than his mind can catch up on. "I haven't been myself lately" the priest admits an almost-truth, "Thought you were better of without me burdening you."

"When you offered me to stay at the orphanage back in the day, you said the choice was mine. And now I choose you again." You're fully aware how wrong this sounds, but couldn't care less. "You don't have to go through everything alone, Anderson. Let me be at your side."

"I'm a complicated person, Y/N" he argues, dreading that this won't be the last time he'd deliberately hurt you. "Oh, I know that. That's why I like you, after all. You're authentic, and passionate, and have a kind heart. Isn't that all that counts?"

"...I will be done with my work soon, if everything goes as planned. Back home around midnight." You internally jubilate at his subtle compliance. "And I will be here waiting for you, of course."

Anderson's lips tug into a hopeful smile, shoving all concerns into a dark corner of his mind. Oh, how he's missed your voice, your benevolence, your everything. "Yeah, that would be great."

It's alright - the two of you would rather have each other platonic than not at all.

What could possibly go wrong?