zairas-realm-gateway

[zairas-realm-gateway]

I'm slowly starting to feel better.

I'm taking some actions to help me feel better. I shaved my face and I'm watching a funny ghost debunking video. My roommate said he'd buy me pizza for dinner (I love pizza ^^)

So, I'm inching my way out of my spiral. I'm perking up. Getting my day back.

tw: venting and general bitchiness.

I was having an amazing fucking day. I went to a sewing class and made two cute projects. I've never machine sewed a project before. I was so proud and happy.

Then I came home to a voice mail from my mother spouting some self-centered "woe is me" crap that we keep asking her not to bring up because it triggers my extreme guilt complex despite the fact THAT I AM NOT GUILTY OF ANYTHING! So now I've been sick to my stomach and crying and trying to not to break crap in my room because I feel so fucking rotten inside.

I don't even want to go over and caretake for her tomorrow!

God, I don't want one selfish voice mail to ruin my amazing day. This is the best day I've had all week until this point. I've already been feeling incredibly low and self-conscious the past several days. This whole mess is just making me spiral harder. I do not need this right now, FUCK!

All I want is take out for dinner and to not see my stupid fucking mother for the rest of the week! fml

crap, I feel so shitty. i need to find away out of this spiral. I can't let her ruin such a nice fucking day, dammit! I won't let her win...

[zairas-realm-gateway]

tw: venting and general bitchiness.

I was having an amazing fucking day. I went to a sewing class and made two cute projects. I've never machine sewed a project before. I was so proud and happy.

Then I came home to a voice mail from my mother spouting some self-centered "woe is me" crap that we keep asking her not to bring up because it triggers my extreme guilt complex despite the fact THAT I AM NOT GUILTY OF ANYTHING! So now I've been sick to my stomach and crying and trying to not to break crap in my room because I feel so fucking rotten inside.

I don't even want to go over and caretake for her tomorrow!

God, I don't want one selfish voice mail to ruin my amazing day. This is the best day I've had all week until this point. I've already been feeling incredibly low and self-conscious the past several days. This whole mess is just making me spiral harder. I do not need this right now, FUCK!

All I want is take out for dinner and to not see my stupid fucking mother for the rest of the week! fml

crap, I feel so shitty. i need to find away out of this spiral. I can't let her ruin such a nice fucking day, dammit! I won't let her win...

[zairas-realm-gateway]

@mistyjudgement

sometimes I just need to have feels so I put on music from a SH ost and then after a few minutes I'm like "okay, maybe that's too many feels" XD

[zairas-realm-gateway]

For my birthday in April, my mother bought me the illustrated tales of Edgar Allan Poe. I don't read much (it gives me anxiety) but I was still excited to try and read this.

Today, I finally got to "the fall of the house of usher" and the main character's like "just looking at this fucking house makes me so fuckin' miserable and depressed".

And I'm like "then why the fuck you going to it"

Then he was like:

And so I was like "ooooh, you're fucking gay for this dude. No, I totally get it now. You're still gonna die but I get it".

So, anyway, no spoilers, please💝

[zairas-realm-gateway]

GAWD! I fucking need Art Fight to be over so I can go back to drawing Frank and Leon. My brain is still rotting but I feel bad if I'm spending time not working on attacks. oof

[zairas-realm-gateway]

(Dead by Daylight) Legion (Frank) x Leon S Kennedy Timeline

___

As I am having just insane brainrot for these, I've been making a lot of posts about them. I thought a nice little masterlist would be fun to show how their relationship has progressed.

A fun note: I first started to ship these two when I played the recent 2v8 game event. I was starting DBD for the very first time. I played a few matches outside the event to get used to the game then worked up the nerve to play the event. Having loved Frank from Samination's animations on Youtube, I picked up Legion as my event killer because I wanted killer practice.

I was not good. But, I kept trying. Now, there was a lot of fuckin' Leons in this event. Like so fucking many. And they just kept falling onto my knife. And let me tell you, you kill like 10 Leons (who scream so very pretty) a night every night for a week straight with the same killer and its starts to put thoughts in your filthy lil brain.

Anyway, brainrot set in and that is how I ended up shipping Frank with Leon.

So, here's their relationship in chronological order. ^^

___

Part 1 : First Interactions!

1 [Partner acquisition] , 2 [Julie's Date Ideas: People watching]

Part 2 :Getting Familiar With Your (Reluctant) Partner

3 [Julie's Date Ideas: Going out for drinks], 4 [Julie's Date Ideas: Get a bite to eat]

Part 3: Connecting With Your Partner

5 [Fanfic Scenario: Down the Hatch]

Summary: Frank is in a 2v8 trial having fun when he hears Leon scream.

6 [Comic WIP: Frank is injured and Leon, surprisingly, finds his bleeding heart extremely concerned]

Part 4: Love, Support, and Protect Your Partner

7 [Fanfic: Won't You Be My Haven?]

Summary: Leon's depressed and lonely. Frank's in distress. The two sneak away from their respective camps to see each other. Leon comforts Frank through a distressing event and Frank shows his love through bringing his starving boyfriend a comforting meal.

8 [Leon provides first aid after a Feral Frenzy gone wrong]

9 [Frank provides what comfort he can after rescuing Leon from a particularly nasty run-in with Wesker]

Part 5: Blissful Darkness

10 [Our boys showing their pride in themselves, their partner, and their relationship]

___

My boys have come a long way. I'm proud of them.

[zairas-realm-gateway]

Happy birthday ugliest man in Piltover/pos

[zairas-realm-gateway]

Where's Everyone?

A Jayce Birthday Comic I did for the man! Happy late birthday Jayce.

Are we missing someone? Stay tune for Part 2!

[zairas-realm-gateway]

was thinking about a comment I saw on a Silent Hill Homecoming video about how stupid it was that the hospital Alex is in is called Alchemilla with Alex specifically in the psych ward when Silent Hill has Brookhaven, an actual psych hospital.

But that comment would actually be a faulty complaint.

Because the hospital in Homecoming is a nightmare that Alex is having and is therefore not a real hospital (plus normal hospitals have psych wards). Now, Alex and his family have probably been to the normal Alchemilla hospital since Shepherd's Glenn is only big enough for a doctor's office, not a hospital so they would need to go to a bigger town for more intensive care.

Plus, Alex's parents were trying to protect him by putting him in a psych hospital, which means they probably kept him far from Brookhaven for his own safety. But also, Alex was so out of his mind that he didn't even know he was in a psych ward, he thought he was in a normal hospital

SO! of course Alex's fucked up brain obviously mixed the hospital he actually stayed in with Alchemilla in his dream. most likely as a way to process what he'd gone through and how scared he was.

[zairas-realm-gateway]

Holy crap, this track gave me fucking chills! I was so giddy I had to get up and pace while saying the lines along with the song.

I'm so excited I could scream!

This was a wonderful birthday gift in my inbox 🥰😍🥰😍

And yet, some in the fandom, maybe even Michael himself, would have you believe he’s too old to play Raziel.

Personally, I think he still has it. 😘

[zairas-realm-gateway]

reblog if you’re a sick fuck

[zairas-realm-gateway]

sitting on the sidelines of discourse is so funny.

It's like "I don't go here but I still have thoughts" and that's what I feel like in the horror game community right now.

And my current thoughts as an angst/whump writer is that everyone is scared of something. You just have to cut deep enough to find it.

There's an age old unspoken rule we whump writers all live by: "If you can't scare a character, break them".

[zairas-realm-gateway]

GAWD!

I forgot how fucking exhausting it is being on anti-depressants!

Because I'm finally getting shit done for once, instead of sinking face-first into my bed all day.

[zairas-realm-gateway]

Me, 32: I'm a well adjusted adult that can get food for myself.

Me, 32, alone at a grocery store: *feels like a lost 12-year-old and afraid to go off-list*

[zairas-realm-gateway]

Every time I play legion, I always look to his hip in the waiting lobby, expecting to see my charms. It always takes me like a solid 5 seconds to remember they're on my hooks, not my belt.

C'mon, that'd be so fun if Legion would be able to let them hang on their belt like a survivor!

[zairas-realm-gateway]

(Dead by Daylight) Legion (Frank) x Leon Kennedy Scenario: Down the Hatch

___

2 v 8 Trial Killers: Legion (Frank) & Huntress

Tw: canon typical injury

It's near the end of the trial. The odds have not been with the survivors. The Entity has taken its pound of flesh.

Legion has Sable Ward in his sights. Breaking into a frenzy, he rushes towards her. He can hear her frightened gasps and his knife lunges forward. The blade slicing through her bare back to scrape against her shoulder blade. The slide of metal against bone sends a jolt of pleasure through him but the pain makes her skitter forward out of reach.

He watches her run for her life. The thrill to hunt his prey pushes Legion forward. But the sound of metal hinges shatters his concentration and behind him he can hear the Entity's whispers.

The Hatch is open.

Fuck! He needs to kill Sable now. He can't allow her irritating ass get to the hatch. The frenzy burning the edge of his awareness is starting to fizzle. He needs to find her fast.

A sudden familiar scream echos out through the forest. Legion's heart leaps into his throat and he stumbles. Frenzy making his steps too fast. His feet tangle in the long grass and he crashes to the moist earth.

The air is knocked from his lungs but he can only lay there a moment. He'd know that scream anywhere. Huntress must have caught Leon.

Pushing himself to his knees, he looks around quickly. He can't see or hear Sable now. She's long gone but the hatch still whispers behind him. His heart pumping fast as any frenzy, he searches the darkness. There's a shimmer of light. The Entity's gift allowing him to see the life essence of a fallen survivor.

From the body language, it's definitely Leon.

Grunting, Legion pushes himself to his feet. His knees sting from impacting on the earth but his jeans took the brunt of the fall. He let's out a hiss, breath hot in his mask. He pushes himself forward. He can't hear his killing partner's song, she must have thrown a hatchet.

He has to get to Leon!

His legs shake slightly as he finds his footing. Steps growing more sure as he hurries through the grass. It only takes moments before he hears a pained groan and quickens his steps. A branch snaps under foot and Leon's head jerks up at the sound.

"Legion?" The other's voice is tight with pain.

Legion rushes forward and crouches beside Leon. He slaps a bloody hand over the other's mouth. "Shut up! She'll hear us."

Legion's movements stall. Brain fizzling out with what to do. Confusion, affection, and five zillion other feelings crash through him. His boyfriend looks amazing all bloody and exhausted. He can remember the first time he dragged his knife through the other and the rush that came with the flow of blood. But now some new, confusing piece of Legion both loves and despises the pained sounds coming from the other.

A shaky hand moves to the hatchet in Leon's shoulder, yanking it free. His other hand making sure to smother any sound from his partner. The blood is rushing so hard in Legion's ears that he feels like he's gonna be sick. His hands hesitate, hovering in the air as his thoughts war with themselves.

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he moves to Leon's side and shoves the older man onto his back. He ignores the other's pained grunt and grabs him by the arms. It's hard to get leverage on the wet ground but he starts to drag Leon by the arms. The other man's a lot bigger and all that hidden muscle under his coat makes him so fucking heavy. Legion feels the strain in his own shoulders and back but he keeps dragging.

Fuck! Why is his boyfriend so heavy?!

Through the pain on Leon's face, Legion can see the other's confusion. He can practically hear him ask what he's doing. Legion wishes he fucking knew! But he keeps dragging. The wet grass under Leon makes the motion easier.

The whispered song of the hatch grows louder.

"The hell are you doing? You'll get caught." Leon hisses up to him. His voice is tight, hoarse from the night's screams.

"Would you shut the fuck up!" Legion snaps back. Grunting, he gives one hard tug and falls backwards beside the hatch. Oh God, he can hear her song. She's getting closer!

He scrambles around to Leon's side and pulls him to sit up. He presses his hands to the strong chest a moment, basking in the other human's warmth. The other killers are so cold, colder than Legion's home, and just as neglectful. He can see other another question on Leon's lips and Legion throws his weight forward.

Leon is shoved through the protective darkness of the hatch and the lid snaps shut before Legion can be forced to face any more of reality.

[zairas-realm-gateway]

I wish that IRL would chill out a little bit. My caretaking duties feel like they're closing in around me, trying to claw my soul out of my body.

Want to RP so badly right now. I want to be to do more than one reply in a single week.

I want to be able to draw again. I've had this silly idea of Leon wrapping Frank's ankle because he twisted it while frenzying like a fucking idiot.

I want to be able to read something other than losing myself for hours in fanfics. I have books I need to read.

I have fics I need to finish writing.

I have to clean my apartment dammit!

FUUUUUCK!

Baby steps... just need to take baby steps...

I can do this