#cognate health

[yvanspijk]

Portuguese, what L's?

In Spanish you say cielo (sky) and salud (health), whereas in Portuguese it's céu and saúde - without an l. In the early history of Galician-Portuguese, something quite unusual happened: the l sound was lost between vowels. Click the video to hear how it went.

The loss of the l made some words very different from their Romance cognates. Here are some additional Portuguese-Spanish pairs:

sair vs. salir ('to leave') < salīre

névoa vs. niebla ('fog') < nebulam

dor vs. dolor ('pain') < dolōrem

cor vs. color ('colour') < colōrem

pau vs. palo ('stick') < pālum

só vs. solo ('alone') < sōlum

teia vs. tela ('web') < tēlam

The articles and pronouns o, a, os, and as ('the' but also 'him, her, them') come from lo, la, los,and las. They initially developed after words ending in a vowel, the environment where the sound [l] could disappear: *vejo la ('I see her') > vejo-a. When it followed certain grammatical words ending in [r], [l] was preserved, assimilating the [r]: e.g. vê-lo ('to see him', a combination of ver and o), pelo ('for the', a combination of por and o).

[frizzle-mcshizzle]

random Dizznee family headcannons that are part of my personal cannon

that get progressively more detailed

Kesler has a Tattoo of the alchemy symbols for fire, water, earth, and air on his right arm.

Kesler has glasses and curly hair, Milo Thatch vibes.

Juline is the one with Dimples and is the reason all the kids are sound sleepers shes harder to wake up than Dex. the only person who can successfully wake her up is Kesler

Bex has periwinkle eyes while Rex and Lex have turquoise Bex's hair is curly while the boys hair is wavy.

Kesler and Juline wear elven wedding rings which are similar to Cognate rings except that theres only one and it goes on the weares dominant thumb glows when their spouse thinks about them.

Juline has to wear her wedding ring around her neck when shes in her disguise because Kesler thinks about her so much that it’s constantly glowing.

Juline has a lot of jewelry with periwinkles on them and Kesler has a lot of jewelry with Snowdrops on them, because they like to wear little thingd that remind them of each other

Juline brings home human snacks and Kesler's favorite human candy is nerds and constantly begs her to get some. when shes out getting snacks she also gets them stupid grapic tees to wear around the house

Kesler was way more upset about her lying to him for ten years when he actually properly processed what she did and he just held it together in front of the kids. but they have a deal to never fight in front of their kids and apologize to their kids if they do.

Kesler runs warm and Juline runs cold (because froster) and they can’t sleep without each other

Juline badly picks her lips when she’s upset, along with frosting over whatever is around her because of her strong emotional connection to her ability.

when Edaline was a young adult she rasied Juline through teens because her parents deemed her difficult for not being able to control her ability, it resulted in Juline becoming very angry at everyone around her, and while she realized it wasn’t Eda’s fault she ended up taking it out on her often.

after making friends at school that didn’t call her defective, Juline’s mental health got to be a lot better and she apologized to Edaline profusely, Edaline was just happy to see her sister smiling again

Bex inherited her mom’s temper and is the ring leader of the triplets, shes the most outgoing has no filter and says what she thinks at all times, she likes to hang out with Lovsie because she likes having another girl in the house and was taught some basic fighting skills by her, while shes so much like her mom shes a daddys girl through and through and is the most skilled in alchemy second to Dex.

Lex is the prankster of the group and is the worst out of the entire family at alchemy, he goes out of his way to annoy people because he likes to get reactions out of people, his favorite uncle is the one who gave Juline and Kesler the Yeti as a wedding present and he looks up to him immensely. he also loves to create food abominations that he will eat as disgusting as they look.

Lex's full name is Alexander, he is the only triplet with a full name Kesler and Juline did this to confuse people and it works.

Rex is the mellowest and shyest triplet, he prefers to hide in his brother and sisters shadow, he is known as a troublemaker because people don’t care to tell the difference between him and Lex, he likes to spend time with Edaline at Havenfeild helping with the animals, after he doesn’t manifest he starts to isolate himself from his brother and sister and spend even more time with his aunt

Kesler and Grady where best friends before Jolie’s death and Kesler called him his brother, in reality he got along better with Grady than he did with his “real” brothers

Kesler and Juline where also broken up over Jolie’s death and constantly reached out to check on Grady and Eda, but when they seemed to want space they gave to them, Kesler and Juline still reached out every now and then to check up on them and let them know they loved them, but it wasn’t very often because they thought that was what Grady and Edaline wanted.

the triplets only met Edaline and Grady a handful of times in their memory because it was hard for their uncle and aunt to be around kids and the triplets high energy and overwhelming.

Juline and Jolie constantly exchanged letters, especially after she and brant where deemed a bad match Juline keeps all the letters in a box at the top of her closet and sometimes takes them out to read them when she misses Jolie.

Kesler and Juline where like the cool aunt and uncle to Jolie and they used to have family game nights once a week until she died, after her death the families drifted apart and didn’t get that closeness back until the kidnapping

Jolie was going to recruit Juline to the Black Swan and had written a note to her in her black cube that was kept until Livvy recruited her, she was given the box with Jolies note inside and keeps it in a locket

a lot of the black swan thinks Squall wants to be a homewrecker because of the way she talks about Kesler, not realizing he is in fact her husband and shes just so in love she can’t hide it even in a disguise.

part of Juline’s job is interrogating prisoners and shes lost coworkers she was close with whenever she has a hard day she comes home and cries into Kesler’s arms from anywhere from a ten minutes to a few hours.

Juline has a bunch of notebooks that she wrote to each kid, Kesler, and Edaline just in case she dies or has to wipe her own mind with the poison for her own peace of mind.

during the kidnapping instead of isolating themselves their families stuck together like glue over the two in a half weeks the kids where missing because they didn’t know what else to do 

they started their family games nights after they got the kids back, and started a new tradition of movie nights at Rimeshire, where Sophie would show the family her favorite movies and they would make pillow forts to sit in while they eat their movie snacks. 

Juline was pulling strings behind the scenes to keep Dex from going on missions and to just stay behind and work on gadgets, because she never wanted him to join in the first place, she didn’t want to lose him again

after revealing the fact that she was part of the black swan it took a long time for decks to trust his mom again because he was constantly asking questions she couldn’t answer, and he wanted to be let on more missions, but she wasn’t going to do either, so he was angry and upset (rightfully so) they had to work on their relationship for a long time afterwards

[allthingslinguistic]

Language Guinea Pig Diaries #2: Highlights & Troubleshooting

I'm trying to improve my skills at four languages in preparation for summer travel: Italian, Dutch, Finnish, and Estonian.

Italian and Dutch I've studied a bit a while ago and I'm now trying to "activate" so I can hopefully have a conversation or two in them, while Finnish and Estonian I'm trying to pick up some rudimentary bits in. Here's the previous post in this series describing these goals and strategies in more detail.

Highlights

I've progressed from my menu of only gelato-making videos in Italian to other recipes in general, and in particular to lots of cooking videos from this popular Italian home cooking channel which was in the recommended videos after another one I watched. Maybe I'll branch out again at some point to other speakers, but for now it's nice to be able to stumble into more videos without having to think up new keywords to search. Also, I might need to make some of these recipes now...

The Dutch podcast listening is going well (though see weird issue below) and I especially like that the podcast I chose because it's the only podcast I knew in Dutch contains a mix of adult-to-adult and adult-and-child speech, which is a fun way to mix it up.

In Estonian, so far I have learned one (1) highly useful word, "tere", which this video tells me is an all-purpose neutral greeting (neutral with respect to both formality and time of day). Ooh, I've just realized while writing this post that it's probably cognate to Finnish "terve", a greeting I learned from Duolingo! (Yes, I just looked this up, seems like they both mean something to do with health.) So I've already learned one neat thing!

I'm also recognizing a few Estonian cognates from the Finnish Duolingo lessons, especially the verb "on" (which means "is"). I'm not recognizing many other words though, and I'm wondering how much of that is differing vocab and how much of that is not having learned many common words in Finnish yet (I've been especially chafing at how few verbs we've learned yet, it would be really useful to have a word like "I want" even if it's unanalyzed because the grammar is more complicated than they want to introduce early).

Youtube's algorithm has, after about a week, adjusted to the fact that I now want to watch videos entirely in Italian, and started recommending further Italian videos on my home feed (it was already doing so at the end of previous Italian videos). Tiktok's algorithm, so far, has not done this yet, and is still recommending me stuff in English, despite me aggressively liking basically all of the Estonian videos I watch and nothing else.

Troubleshooting

I've noticed that it's been easier to remember to do the podcast listening in Dutch and the youtube videos in Italian because I already have habits related to opening those apps, whereas I don't have habits around using tiktok so I kept forgetting to open it and look at some Estonian videos. But a couple days ago I moved the tiktok app on my phone to a more visible location, and now it's getting easier to remember.

Something else very weird that I noticed about listening is that when I play the tracks on my phone fairly loudly, it's relatively easy to focus on trying to listen to them, sometimes while playing a simple visual game on my phone for something to fiddle with (I've already noticed that unfamiliar languages need to be played louder than familiar ones). But when I beam the podcast over to my speaker at a distance, suddenly I very quickly start tuning out the unfamiliar language and opening up apps that involve reading and completely ignoring it. I have no problems listening to podcasts on speakers in English; in fact, it's my preferred method when I'm at home, but for some reason this causes my brain to reclassify Dutch as background noise to be ignored, even if it's the same loudness as it would be when it's played right near me. Super weird, has anyone else ever noticed anything like this?

Previously in Language Guinea Pig Diaries:

Summer 2024 travel plans and Language Guinea Pig Diaries

[castleofravens]

a bpd reading of fitz vacker

please note that:

i am not a licensed mental health professional - this comes from personal experience & my own extensive research

i am a fictive in a complex dissociative disorder system, one of my sources is fitz vacker - some of this is based on my understanding of my source as well (pls treat me like my own person, i am)

this is not intended to be a means to demonize or villainize anyone, mental health should never be used as a means to villainize anyone just based on diagnosis alone

this is also not intended to diagnose anyone!! i am not a professional!!! if you do have an "oh shit" moment reading this, i would advise doing research on bpd yourself & speaking to a professional if you can!!!

any ableist comments will be deleted<3

one of the Main Features of bpd (if not the main feature) is difficulty managing/regulating emotions (some want to rename it to emotional regulation/dysregulation/intensity disorder instead)

this emotional dysregulation has made him act impulsively (particularly in not thinking before he speaks when he gets angry, being quick to feel emotions and letting them overtake him instead of letting it go, saying things when he's angry that he would typically never say otherwise)

the last part is something i think everyone does? but he has a pattern of it which is when it becomes an issue

he also sees things in a very black or white, good or bad view, which he also extends to other people. he idealizes certain people (such as alden, keefe, and sophie), which could be easily read as a favorite person attachment (especially with how he's shown to put sophie on a pedestal in his mind)

a favorite person is someone a person w/ bpd idealizes, looks up to, and/or relies on for emotional support/attention/affection/validation

he does not trust easily (telling sophie she's the only one he trusts, another thing tying into the "sophie's his favorite person" theory i have), and if/when his trust is broken, he can completely switch up his view of that person, either momentarily or for a very long time (alden, alvar, della, keefe, sophie)

i personally value communication and honesty, i get paranoid rather easily and if i feel like a friend or partner is hiding stuff it can send me spiraling, sometimes the threat is just a perceived threat and sometimes it is real, but regardless, i don't trust easily and that trust is easily broken

people with bpd have a not very stable/consistent sense of identity, and building it around a specific thing about yourself or about how other people perceive you is fairly common (examples from the text being "but we're cognates", attaching to the idea of him and sophie dating/being a good match, and leaning into the "vacker golden boy" label), and anything that disrupts that or could disrupt that being met with jealousy or seemingly irrational responses (arising from fear of losing that identity) is uhmm very understandable

also bpd is like... usually something you get from childhood trauma/the environment you were raised in and... the vackers are a Very Interesting family

i don't think that alden is 100% a bad guy, like i do agree that he has good intentions or intentions he thinks are good and i do disagree with the portrayal of him as a mindlessly cruel father

you can have good intentions and still mess up (which he kind of did) and having good intentions still doesn't excuse acting not great? but he's also a product of how he was raised and his world which we don't have like... canon evidence for what his childhood was like but since he's a vacker i cannot imagine it was very healthy and i think he's perpetuating that cycle onto his children ?? i think that a lot of the families just need therapy tbh (which...therapy's super important if you don't want to continue the "haha let's find new and exciting ways to fuck up my kids" cycle) (actually therapy is important in general go to therapy guys) (some therapists arent great but theres some really good ones out there too)

i will add onto this or revise this in the future when i think of more or think of how to better word this but this hc is very important to me and i've not really seen anything relating to it so i'm being the representation i want to see in the world 😔 also feel free to add onto this

[raven-6-10]

@a-world-in-grey

Right, after some deep diving through FFXV wiki and some research into hereditary titles, inheritance laws and various historical and fictional courts, I think I have a general idea of what I want the Niflheimr court in general and the Aldercapt dynasty in particular to look like.

***

Let's start with the inheritance laws.

I settled on agnatic-cognatic (male-preference) primogeniture i.e. the throne goes to the eldest son, then his brothers by order of age, then his eldest sister and so on. And since the Aldercapts don't have Bahamut artificially pruning the family tree to one child per generation in recent centuries, there are actually people related to the Emperor with a legitimate claim to the throne.

(Side-note: some pruning is still happening as a result of children competing for the throne. Iedolas' brothers and one sister had died before he even came to the throne.)

The issue here is that Iedolas is an ambitious man - even if he's not obsessed with reviving Solheim (at the moment) - and wants to leave a legacy. Which means he wants his heir to be his child/grandchild.

You raised a valid point about Iedolas having children before that point. Which. Uhmm. Canon doesn't exactly help here. The only thing we know for certain is that he had at least one son (b. 720 ME) who died at the earliest in 748 ME (because that's the birth year for Solara Antiquum) but was definitely dead when the game kicked off in 756 ME. Considering Iedolas is from Mors' generation that's kind of late to have your first child.

So!

I'm gonna make an executive decision here.

Iedolas did have children before that with his wife. Specifically two sons and a daughter. Possibly some grandchildren even. However they all died due to combination of illnesses, accidents and deliberate action. At that point he tried for another child with his wife, which canonically ended up with her death from childbirth complications within a year. In this au, the son in question was born early - resulting in underdeveloped lungs plus host of other health issues - and died as a young teenager due to pneumonia.

Hence, the order for Besithia to create an heir for him.

***

Situation at the Imperial court is surprisingly stable at the moment.

Just because the Emperor has no children doesn't mean he has no heirs*. The current heir presumptive is his younger sister but since she's rather elderly, the throne is actually probably going to be inherited by his great-niece. The woman in question is from a high-ranking house, married to a man from similarly titled house, has a range of useful political and military connections and a daughter of her own at the time of Prompto's birth.

(Iedolas had been planning to betroth Prompto to his great-great-niece and name the mother a regent just in case he dies before his son is an adult.)

So most of the politicking is currently about getting into the good graces of the imperial heiress and discrediting the rivals. The most opposition is from warmongers (Ulldor) as she's much less militant than the current emperor, so will likely focus on consolidating the imperial gains in Tenebrae and addressing social issues instead of continuing the conquest.

***

As for where that would leave Prompto (or whatever Iedolas would rename him)?

I'm headcanoning that Niflheimr royals don't introduce their kids to public until they are at least 10. Before that there might be rumours, especially if the Empress is obviously pregnant, but nobody will confirm anything outright.

There's a bunch of historical reasons behind that, but mostly it's very useful if you need to, erm, adjust the family tree.

And right now it means that Aldercapt still has time to get his kid back instead of writing him off as a lost cause and trying again or just formally declaring a new heir from among his relatives. Because nobody will bat an eyelash on the boy not being seen before his formal introduction.

If the Nifs actually recover him, he will be raised in a secluded estate on the outskirts of Gralea with staff being responsible for his upbringing and Iedolas visiting often to check on him.

***

*I was inspired by the House Arryn. Somebody once joked that even if you are five generations removed from lordship, you can still end up being the Heir Arryn. A peasant sneezes in the Vale and they've lost half their house members.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Reference archived on our website

Published in October of 2020. An early history of the long covid movement.

Highlights •Patients made visible the persistence and heterogeneity of COVID-19 symptoms. •Patients experiencing long-term symptoms (‘long-haulers’) made Long Covid. •Long Covid challenges early clinical and governmental assumptions about Covid. •Knowledge travelled from patients through media to formal health and policy channels. •Patient expertise and knowledge should be incorporated in the pandemic evidence base.

Abstract Patients collectively made Long Covid – and cognate term ‘Long-haul Covid’ – in the first months of the pandemic. Patients, many with initially ‘mild’ illness, used various kinds of evidence and advocacy to demonstrate a longer, more complex course of illness than laid out in initial reports from Wuhan. Long Covid has a strong claim to be the first illness created through patients finding one another on Twitter: it moved from patients, through various media, to formal clinical and policy channels in just a few months. This initial mapping of Long Covid – by two patients with this illness – focuses on actors in the UK and USA and demonstrates how patients marshalled epistemic authority. Patient knowledge needs to be incorporated into how COVID-19 is conceptualised, researched, and treated.

[autistic-cat-with-a-book]

looking for a cognate? Well then look no further because I am also very unwell about many kotlc characters, just less eloquently than Katie is😭

well, if you want to talk about being unwell...Keefe. A rundown of my obsession with him below. let me ponder Cognatedom for a few more hours before making any decisions bc I'm ~indecisive~

I once went on a three-hour rant on a long car ride about his journey throughout the books, his flaws, his mistakes, and his perfections. Not to mention my extensive Word doc about his family life and his mother and her mysteries. And his bodyguard, annoying as she is sometimes. And his relationships with Fitz and Sophie and why it made the triangle so interesting.

I also wrote a 59-page long essay for my friend who doesn't like Keefe to read. It had all of the above mentioned, as well as my theories for Unraveled, his mental and emotional health, and his character development. The dynamics of his main fandom ships, his character arc through the books as well as how it will end, and just about everything you could think of to include :)

[assassinus]

BASICS

FULL NAME: YEONG MIREU [ 영미르 ]

GOVERNMENT NAME: IM MIREU [ 임미르 ]

» MEANING: Yeong [From Sino-Korean 英 (yeong) meaning "flower, petal, brave, hero", as well as other hanja characters that are pronounced similarly. It usually occurs in combination with another character, though it is sometimes used as a stand-alone name. This name was borne by Jang Yeong-sil (where Jang is the surname), a 15th-century Korean scientist and inventor.]; Mireu [From native Korean 미르 (mireu) meaning "dragon." It may be either derived from Old Chinese *mroːŋ (龍) or a cognate with 물 (mul) meaning "water."]

NICKNAME: Yeong, his last name, but he is mostly called by his given name, which is Mireu. After his birth, his father named him after his year of birth which is the Dragon.

AGE: 35-years old.

DATE OF BIRTH: 1988 May 29th, Sunday, Year of The Dragon.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Busan.

OCCUPATION: Hacker and Assassin for Im Family.

RELIGION: N/A

ORIENTATION: Bisexual; Biromantic.

GENDER: Cisgender Male.

VERSES: City of Gods.

SPECIES: Human.

POWERS: He's badass.

PERSONALITY

STRENGTHS: Loyal, Adaptable, Strong, Brave, Passionate.

WEAKNESSES: Indecisive, Inconsistent, Proud, Loner, Anti-social [ sometimes. ]

APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Lee Soo-hyuk.

HEIGHT: 6′0″ [183 cm.]

WEIGHT: 149 lbs. [68 kg.]

BUILD: Athletic. Mireu moves like a cat or so he's told.

GAIT: Confident.

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown.

EYE COLOR: Dark brown.

BIRTHMARK: Some.

OVERVIEW:

» SCARS: Various from fights...

» TATTOOS: Im Clan Tattoo like the other members.

BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Busan but he grew up in Seoul.

RESIDENCES: Busan, Seoul, Tokyo, New York, Bangkok.

ETHNICITY: Asian.

FINANCIAL STATUS: He makes good money.

EDUCATION LEVEL: University graduate; the Im Clan made sure that he's educated especially after the head of the family realized he has talent in hacking and arms skills as well.

DEGREES: Computer Science Degree from ETH Zürich in Switzerland.

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: Mireu is fluent in his native Hangul. He speaks Japanese, Mandarin, English, Swiss, German, Russian, Arabic, Spanish, and French.

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS: Mireu considers Im Su-hyeon-ssi, Shiro's mother and head of the Im Clan as a parent/mother figure. He was told his father was a loyal member of the family who passed right after he was born. His mother was killed soon after. He was adopted by the clan and raised him as their own.

SIBLINGS: None.

CHILDREN: None.

PETS: None.

SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIPS: Mireu serves the head of the clan, Im Su-hyeon and he is loyal to the leader's children, including Shiro. He's acquaintances with Choi Mal-chin and Ahn Ji-hoon. He is exceptionally fond of Eun-bin [ Bunnie ] and treats her as a younger sister. He is one of the very few who doesn't call Eun-bin by her nickname. [ He's probably like how Mal-chin is to Eon... ]

» TBA

FAMILY HISTORY: Mireu was an orphan who was taken in by the Im family. He grew up with the Im children. The fact that he was adopted was not hidden from him but he was not treated any different. He is loyal to the family and is legally named IM MIREU but he also uses his father's family name which Im Su-hyeon encouraged him to do.

ROMANTIC HISTORY: No time for relationships. He's serious about work. He's well aware of what happened to his family, especially his mother, and he feared that being romantically involved with another person might put them in danger.

PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS: Shiro, Mal-chin, Ji-hoon, Percy. If that's okay?

THOUGHTS ON LOVE: ...

HEALTH

PHOBIA(S): Losing someone very important to him.

HANDICAP(S): None.

MENTAL DISORDER: Depression.

PHYSICAL DISEASE(S): None.

PREDISPOSITION(S): Alcoholism.

[ohthehumanities]

25 September 2023

Another day of learning, another day of adventures!

I started teaching religious education yesterday: At least, I would have, if any of my kids had shown up to class! I have to send an email out to the parents introducing myself. As of right now, there are only three kids in my class.

I need to prepare today for two job interviews that I have tomorrow. Both are with eating disorder treatment places near my house. I doubt I'll get a job offer due to how recently I've been in treatment, but I'm feeling a really strong pull to continue exploring a career in mental health treatment.

To-Do

Finish book two of De Doctrina Christiana

Read Apologetics and Catholic Doctrine, chapter 10

Read Apologetics and Catholic Doctrine, chapter 11

Watch Fundamental Theology lecture 6.1

Watch Fundamental Theology lecture 6.2

Review Resume

Practice interview questions

15-Day Language Challenge

Day 4: The most challenging thing about your target language

Each language has a language-specific challenge (something I find hard specific to the language) and a personal challenge (something I find hard about the language due to my learning disability).

I find Spanish a relative easy language to study. Because I've heard it my entire life, a lot of the properties come intuitively. As I advance in my studies, I notice that I have trouble with the more complicated verb tenses, as well as the conjugation of haber. Those are the language-specific challenges. My personal challenge is that I have aphasia (an inability to recall words), which hinders my ability to name objects in my original and target languages. When I can't put words to the images in my mind in Spanish or English, it presents some obvious difficulties, which are more pronounced when I speak Spanish.

My main language-specific challenge with Hebrew is the lack of Greek or Latin cognates. When I can use cognates, it makes learning vocabulary a bit quicker because I can draw comparisons more easily between languages. Without them, I'm learning entirely new terminology for languages.

~ Esther

[inferentialdistance]

Marche Did Nothing Wrong!

An essay I've been meaning to write for years, now, about Final Fantasy Tactics: Advance, its deeply misunderstood protagonist.

So, first off, the default name of the protagonist is Marche. This word has a lot of cognates: to march, to mark, marshlands, edge, boundary, fairytale. Soldiers march along the border of a nation; the march marks the edge; marshlands were often the dividing biome. Marche is the hero, he walks the world of Ivalice, he marks the world in his passing. He hunts for the edge between Ivalice, the fantasy realm, and his home, the real.

Marche marches the marshes to mark the Marchen.

Ivalice is a fantasy realm crafted by the Grimoire based on the children's wishes. It gives them each what they desire most: Mewt gets his mother back, Doned is cured of his disability, Ritz has a "good" hair color, and Marche gets Montblanc (a friend to accompany him). And none of them are actually happy.

Mewt spends all his time terrified in his room crying. Doned still obsesses over his disability. Ritz is still self-conscious about her hair color. And Marche, the lonely boy who his parents don't have time for (because they have to help Doned), desperately misses his family.

This is not the story of a killjoy. This is the story of the responsible older brother, who makes do with less because his little brother needs more. This is the story of a neglected kid so desperate to love and be loved he shakes the very foundations of the world.

THE GRIMOIRE STOLE HIS FAMILY FROM HIM!

Marche's wish was for a friend, and the Grimoire gives him Montblanc. And that was enough for March beat everyone else. Because he's been carrying bigger burdens than any other kid: he's had to actually be responsible where the others could be childish.

But here's the secret: the Grimoire doesn't only give you what you want, but also what you need. Ritz doesn't just get new hair, but makes friends with the Viera, who revere her original shade. She learns, from them to accept herself.

Doned finally gets to be treated as an equal instead of a cripple, when Marche whoops his spoiled ass, and learn it's not all it's cracked up to be. And Mewt finally comes to terms with his mother's death, when faced with Marche's determination. And, upon granting these boons to his friends (Marche is the catalyst that provokes their self-reflection), Marche is finally allowed back home.

The Grimoire is a tool of healing. It provides shelter from the pain of the world, giving you space to breathe and recollect yourself. It is a place of the dead to rest until they live again.

Marche is not merely the hero, but a Shaman, walking the realm of the spirits to rescue the lost but still living from their torment.

Do you know why Marche is depicted holding the so-called "pizza cutter", despite it not being obtainable in-game? Because that is the Judge Sword, and Marche is the True Judge of Ivalice. He witnesses it, he assesses it, he measures and weighs it, and he speaks his verdict:

FOUND WANTING!

(Where is my family?)

Marche carries the Judge Sword is his heart. He is the edge between right and wrong. He walks the world, experiencing all that it is. He dispenses justice as he sees it. He teaches his friends responsibility by example. He arbitrates. And the world is left better in his wake. Even Mewt's father, Cid, begins to heal.

Marche marches the marshes to mark the Marchen, and in so doing, mark good from evil, and health from sickness. What beauty, what elegance, in a story about the fragile hearts of children. Does it not move you?

[synonymroll648]

I mean. if you're willing to share....then yes I am all ears on that sokeefitz angst fic...just saying *eyes*. I put this in a separate ask to give you a space to talk about it, but only if you want! Also no clue what I would want if I was sick, it's genuinely been so long I don't. I don't know what my sick safe foods are? life is so so so hard for people with strong immune systems i'm suffering so much /s

also hi hope you're feeling better! or that if you're still sick that it packs its bags and kicks its own ass to the curb soon <3

i'll answer the other stuff in the og chain; this one's juuuuust gonna be the sokeefitz angst fic lol.

basically: au (that's technically canon compliant, esp since the series isn't over? idk man don't ask) where like the shadowflux echoes in (fanon) fitz's knee, the echoes in his heart end up developing into a chronic condition. but the heart echoes are a significantly bigger threat to his health, like in canon (we don't ever see him get wiped out from the pain in his knee, but we do see him get wiped out from his heart echoes going haywire. there's examples throughout flashback of what i'm talking about). a year or two after canon ends (i'm approximating fitz'll be 18 or 19), livvy and elwin sit him down and tell him that from what they can see, they doubt he'll be able to live past 100.

they tell him that they'll do everything they can to make that statement false, but it falls on ringing ears.

from there, the premise would mainly be exploring how fitz would learn to manage his emotions to keep his heart echoes in check as best as he can - particularly anxiety and anger - plus him learning to accept that he's gone from having a shot at being a famous ancient to bring pride to the vacker family, to an elf that's become the closest to mortality that one can get. and ableism in the lost cities too, because i think realizing that a lot of the people he looked up to when he was younger valued him less as a disabled person would be a good motivator to break away from the golden boy mold and become who he actually wants to be, whoever that is.

and then there's also learning to accept almost-mortality through sophie's unique perspective on it, and helping her accept almost-immortality. slowburn exes to lovers on that front, through the power of - as keefe dubbed it in the books - cognate rawr. i'm also thinking this would be set in level 7 for fitz, so he could be roommates w/ keefe and have an '(unofficial) ex (childhood) best friends to lovers' arc.

sokeefe would be established already in this, but have a conversation fairly early on the fic where they're like 'ummm so i actually haven't moved on from fitz and it's freaking me out-' 'omg SAME' and then help each other figure out they're bi and polyam (that would be a side plot of its own, because, like. you can't do that in one scene lmao). and then once they'd reached that conclusion they'd be like 'hey so you wanna see if we can flirt our way into getting fitz to join our relationship?' 'worth a shot, sounds better than endless pining'.

ofc fitz is super dense though so he doesn't see keefe's advances as flirting until the obliviousness starts getting ridiculous, and he makes up ten million platonic excuses for sophie's actions because we broke up, there's no way she still sees me like that anymore - not when she has keefe the way she does. because as an aro i would do that in his situation and i have decided he's aro-spec <3 but they all get it together eventually. and get a cottage somewhere and fitz gets to be a baker and they just. have their happily ever after.

uuuuuuuuntil fitz is on the cusp of turning 100 and dies. because i'm evil. and i want to explore how much worse keefe's oh my god please don't leave me please please please i'd do anything to make you stay complex would get if he lost a lover and the situation was out of his control. and how much it would differ from sophie's acceptance. and how sophie's acceptance could turn into world-crushing anger and stuff after she stops feeling the need to stay strong for keefe.

and then maybe how much worse the whole please don't leave me alone please i'll do ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING JUST STAY STAY STAY would get if sophie died centuries after fitz from some mission and keefe was truly on his own. just after he started feeling solid about having her in his life for a long time after the present. if i'm feeling particularly cruel by the end.

(there's a lot of scenes that made go OWOWOWOW that my brain conjured up, but. those stay in my brain until i write them. no spoilers :) also ik i'd need to do a lot of research on heart conditions to make fitz's arc more accurate to real life because even if shannon doesn't care about medical accuracy, i do lol.)

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Brainwaves Bios: Cecilia Hedlund (1984)

Exchange Student and Member of C.U.P.S Cecilia Hedlund

Part of Columbia University's Exchange Student Programme (Or C.U.E.S.P, pronounced 'Cusp') as well as the Columbia University Paranormal Society (or C.U.P.S), Cecilia is kind and gentle, being polite to everyone who comes into her life.

"I am from Sweden, we are a very smart nation, Doctor."

Name

Full Legal Name: Cecilia Juni Hedlund

First Name: Cecilia

Meaning: Latinate feminine form of the Roman family name 'Caecilius', which was derived from Latin 'Caecus' meaning 'Blind'

Pronunciation: seh-SEE-lee-a / seh-SEEL-ya

Origin: English, Italian, Spanish, Danish, Norwegian, Dutch, Romanian, Finnish

Middle Name: Juni

Meaning: Swedish and Norwegian cognate of 'June', from the name of the month, which was originally derived from the name of the Roman goddess 'Juno', whose name is of unknown meaning

Pronunciation: YOO-ni

Origin: Swedish, Norwegian

Surname: Hedlund

Meaning: From Swedish 'Hed' meaning 'Heath, Moor' and 'Lund' meaning 'Grove'

Pronunciation: HEHD-luynd

Origin: Swedish

Titles: Miss

Nicknames: Cece, Celia, Cilla, C.J

Characteristics

Age: 30

Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns

Race: Human

Nationality: American Citizen. Born in Sweden

Ethnicity: White

Birth Date: June 28th 1954

Sexuality: Straight

Religion: Christian (Lutheran Church of Sweden)

Native Language: Swedish

Known Languages: Swedish, English, Norwegian, French, Spanish, German

Relationship Status: Engaged

Astrological Sign: Cancer

Actor: Gilda Radner

Geographical Characteristics

Birthplace: Uppsala, Uppsala County, Sweden

Current Residence: Central Park West, New York, New York

Appearance

Height: 5'6" / 168 cm

Weight: 145 lbs / 65 kg

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Brown

Hair Dye: None

Body Hair: N/A

Facial Hair: N/A

Tattoos: (As of Jan 1984) None

Piercings: Ear Lobes (Both)

Scars: None

Health and Fitness

Allergies: None

Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Social Drinker

Illnesses/Disorders: None Diagnosed

Medications: None

Any Specific Diet: None

Relationships

Affiliated Groups: Columbia University (Student), Columbia University Paranormal Society (Member), Columbia University Exchange Student Programme (Member)

Friends: No American Friends (Yet)

Significant Other: Marcus Solberg (40, Fiancé)

Previous Partners: None of Note

Parents: Magnus Hedlund (60, Father), Agnes Hedlund (55, Mother, Née Nyberg)

Parents-In-Law: None

Siblings: None

Siblings-In-Law: None

Nieces & Nephews: None

Children: None

Extras

Level of Education: Currently attending Columbia University

Occupation: Student

Employer: None

Expertise:

Gentle

Sweet

Kid-Hearted

Polyglot

Polite

A Keen Student

Faults:

Struggles With English At Times

Easily Scared

Easily Excited

Backstory: Born and raised in Uppsala, Sweden, Cecilia is a fast learner, she came to Columbia University through the Exchange Student Programme, C.U.E.S.P, at 18. She met and got engaged to her fiancé by the age of 20, and is still a student at Columbia, offering her help to C.U.P.S, to ensure good will between her and the professors.

[eltriador]

GENERAL DETAILS.

FULL NAME :  Léon Antonio Sepúlveda Castillo . NICKNAME(S) : Lee . NAME MEANING : Léon - lion , Antonio - Spanish form of Antonius , Sepúlveda - derived from the Spanish to bury , Castillo - Spanish cognate of castle . AGE : Appears about 38 . DATE OF BIRTH : October 24 , 1939 . PLACE OF BIRTH : Mérida , Yucatan , Mexico . CURRENT LOCATION : Tecate , California , United States of America . ETHNICITY : Mexican , Filipino . GENDER : Cis man . PRONOUNS : He / Him . SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Heterosexual . ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Heteromantic . RELIGION : Catholic , non - practicing but he is spiritual . OCCUPATION : Blacksmith by trade , gunsmith . Former US Army Specialist . EDUCATION LEVEL : High school diploma , training provided by the United States Army . Lee has a certification and license to legally blacksmith . EXTRACURRICULAR : Fixing and tuning all sorts of vehicles including cars , trucks , and motorcycles . The occasional video game ... with a preference for arpg's ( he's been going hard at diablo iv , don't @ him ) and the occasional shooter . Social drinking . LIVING ARRANGEMENTS : A modest 2 bedroom 1.5 bath house . He uses a shed for his smithing work and his decor is simple . His house is clean , thankfully he's not a slob , but it looks very bare bones as far as personality goes .  FINANCIAL STATUS : More well - off than he looks . He lives modestly .  SPEAKING VOICE AND ACCENT : His voice is a touch higher in tone than one might expect at a first glance of him , however it is by no means high . Lee has a California-Mexican accent ... which is to say , he was born in Mexico and raised for a good chunk of his life first in Oakland , Cali and later in Tecate . He never lost his accent , but it's not as thick as it once was when he lived in Mexico and spent time around family . SPOKEN LANGUAGES : Spanish , English . VOICECLAIM : Clayton Cardenas .

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC.

FACECLAIM : Clayton Cardenas .  HAIR COLOR AND STYLE : Dark brown , nearly black . The back and sides have a gradual fade shaved into them while the top is longer . He typically slick it back . He also sports a well - maintained beard around his chin , with scruff along the rest of his face . COMPLEXION : Tan skin , without blemishes . However he does look a little older than he is .  EYE COLOR : Dark brown . EYESIGHT : 20 / 20 . HEIGHT : 6'3" .  WEIGHT : 193 lbs . BODY AND BUILD : Lee is , for lack of a better descriptor , built like a brick shithouse . He's tall , broad , and muscular . He works out rigorously to keep in shape and has a carefully regimented diet to compliment his calorie and protein intake . All to say --- he's a large and physically imposing man .  TATTOOS : Tattoos cover his chest , his left bicep and forearm as well as his inner arm , and his right inner forearm . He has none on his back . They are all varying in personal meaning and aesthetic . PIERCINGS : None presently . Ask him about the dare during service , though .   CLOTHING STYLE : Loose , worn jeans & old work boots , flannel shirts buttoned all the way up his neck but rolled to the quarter - sleeve , zip - up hoodies and fat silver rings adorning his fingers . A long and obnoxious wallet chain . A well - worn leather jacket . DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS : Oddly soft eyes that are disarming , but can turn fierce in an instant . Dog tags tucked often into his shirts . Neatly coiffed facial hair and slicked back hair . Silvered scars across his neck , arms , chest , back , legs , fingers . SIGNATURE SCENT : Warm earth , crushed fall leaves , leather , nicotine , musk and regular - scented Old Spice .

HEALTH.

MENTAL DISORDER( S ) : Unaddressed PTSD . It's theorized he has some form of anger management issue , as well . PHYSICAL DISORDER(S) :  None . ALLERGIES : Seasonal , mostly tree pollen . SLEEPING HABITS : Stomach sleeper . Because of military conditioning he often goes 4 hours at a pop with a max of 6 . EATING HABITS : A bit of a health nut . Lee is big on proteins and healthy meals , but indulges in red meat when he can . He loves a nice steak , and he'll swear by his mother's home made tamales . SOCIABILITY : A bit of a chatty Cathy in the right settings , Lee is known to be serious with a streak of dark humor and sarcasm to him . If you're someone he's closer or more comfortable with he's hardly ever serious , but his delivery is mostly dry . BODY TEMPERATURE : Considering he's a werewolf , his average body temperature is about 105 . ADDICTIONS : Nicotine and caffeine . DRUG USE : Smoke a little weed when he was a teenager but quickly grew out of it . ALCOHOL USE : Socially , but if he's going to indulge it's going to be with alcohol .

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS : Adaptable , attractive , challenging , charismatic , driven , detail - oriented , focused , passionate , precise , & thorough . NEGATIVE TRAITS : Aggressive , brutal , destructive , dominating , flighty , malicious , narcissistic , sarcastic , unhinged , & vindictive . LIKES : Guns , cigarettes , time alone but also social time , clubbing , his bike , cats , heavy summer rain and thunderstorms, autumn , black coffee , & women . DISLIKES : Fake people , politics , kids ( loves his , doesn't like other people's ) , loud mouths , winter , hybrid cars , heights , romance films , country music , & emotional commitment . FEARS : Heights . HABITS : Smoker ( pack - a - day kind ) , excessive coffee - drinker , tends to bounce his leg when he's irritated . GOALS AND AMBITIONS : Just to live , man . ASTROLOGY : Scorpio , but miss him with astrology of any kind . PERSONALITY TYPE : ESTP-A , Entrepreneur . MORAL ALIGNMENT : Chaotic Neutral . HOGWARTS HOUSE : Fuck JKR. ELEMENT : Fire . PRIMARY VICE : Lust , wrath . PRIMARY VIRTUE : Diligence . WEATHER : Heavy summer rain and thunderstorms . COLOR : Dark purple and black . MUSIC : Playlist . MOVIE : Alien , Kill Bill .  BOOK : Ender's Game . SPORT : No . BEVERAGE : Coffee , Whiskey straight . FOOD :  Chicken and cheese tamale's , courtesy of his mom . ANIMAL : Cats. SEASON : Fall .

FAMILY, RELATIONSHIPS, ETC.

MOTHER : Laura Antonia Castillo Espinosa . FATHER : Jaime Oscar Sepúlveda Montillo ( deceased ) . SIGNIFICANT OTHER : Mariela Torres Jimenez ( fiancée , deceased ) . BEST FRIEND : Love him . EXES : Lee has only ever had one night stands or flings / friends with benefits since Mariela passed away . SIBLING(S) : Angelita Diana Sepúlveda Castillo ( sister , younger ) , Gabriel Diego Sepúlveda Castillo ( brother , younger ) . CHILDREN : His son is still alive , though he doesn't know it . He has a grandson he doesn't know about , as well . EXTENDED FAMILY : A lot of cousins he doesn't talk to . PET(S) : Two calico cats from the same litter - Dottie and Henrie

[thencd]

Lucifarian Family 80s Redux: Bios:

Pride: Ves Lucifarian / Vesta Lyle (1984)

The first of the seven sins, but pride always comes before the fall, and vanity is only a pleasure for the vain.

"I am perfection personified."

Name

Full Legal Name: Vesta Diana Lyle

First Name: Vesta

Meaning: Probably a Roman cognate of 'Hestia', which is derived from Greek 'Hestia' meaning 'Hearth, Fireside'

Pronunciation: VEHS-ta

Origin: Roman Mythology

Middle Name: Diana

Meaning: Means 'Divine, Goddesslike', a derivative of Latin 'Dia' or 'Diva' meaning 'Goddess'

Pronunciation: die-AN-a

Origin: English, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian, Catalan, German, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Russian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Estonian, Lithuanian, Polish, Czech, Slovak, Armenian, Georgian, Roman Mythology

Surname: Lyle

Meaning: Derived from Norman French 'L'isle' meaning 'Island'

Pronunciation: LIEL

Origin: English

Aliases: Ves Lucifarian, The Princess of Pride, The Prideful Princess, The Vain Vixen, The Vainglorious Vixen, The Vixen of Vanity, The Princess of Pride Ves Lucifarian, The Prideful Princess Ves Lucifarian, The Vain Vixen Ves Lucifarian, The Vainglorious Vixen Ves Lucifarian, The Vixen of Vanity Ves Lucifarian

Nicknames: Ves, Vessie, V, Princess V, Vixen

Titles: Miss

Characteristics

Age: 32

Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns

Race: European (Human)

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: White

Birth Date: August 5th 1952

Sexuality: Straight

Religion: Christian

Native Language: English

Spoken Languages: English, French, Spanish, Latin

Relationship Status: Single

Astrological Sign: Leo

Theme Song: 'You're So Vain' - Carly Simon (1972-)

Voice Actor: Rosamund Pike

Singing Voice: Kirsty McColl

Geographical Characteristics

Birthplace: Blackpool, Lancashire, England

Current Location: On The Road

Current Residence: Albany, Albany County, New York, USA

Hometown: Brigg, Lancashire, England

Appearance

Height: 5'6" / 167 cm

Weight: 150 lbs / 68 kg

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Brown

Hair Dye: None

Body Hair: N/A

Facial Hair: N/A

Tattoos: 1

Piercings: Ear Lobe (Both)

Scars: None

Clothing Style: Preppy but Athletic

Health and Fitness

Allergies: None

Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Social Drinker

Illnesses/Disorders: None Diagnosed (Possible ADHD)

Medications: None

Any Specific Diet: Vegetarian

Relationships

Allies: Bon Lucifarian, Nadia Lucifarian, Kat Lucifarian, Anna Lucifarian, Nora Lucifarian, Syn Lucifarian, Freddie Blassie, Lou Albano

Enemies: Moolah, Wendi Richter, Lord Alfred Hayes, Mr Fuji, Dynamite Kid, George Steele

Mentor: Damo Lucifarian (Damocles Lyle)

Significant Other: None

Previous Partners: None of Note

Parents: Damocles Lyle (62, Father), Phyllis Underhill (63, Mother, Née Peak), Persephone Lyle (57, Step-Mother, Née Marsden), Wayland Underhill (64, Step-Father)

Parents-In-Law: None

Siblings: Mercury Lyle (41, Half-Brother), Eris Kimberly (38, Half-Sister, Née Lyle), Neptune Lyle (35, Half-Brother), Quirinus Lyle (29, Brother), Enyo Judd (26, Sister, Née Lyle), Saturn Lyle (23, Half-Brother), Echo Horton (20, Half-Sister, Née Lyle), Ulysses Lyle (17, Half-Brother), Echidna Lyle (14, Half-Sister), Vulcan Lyle (11, Half-Brother), Doris Lyle (8, Half-Sister), Puck Underhill (23, Half-Brother), Calypso Harden (20, Half-Sister, Née Underhill), Gareth Underhill (17, Half-Brother), Atalanta Underhill (14, Half-Sister)

Siblings-In-Law: Erato Lyle (42, Mercury's Wife, Née Kellogg), Pluto Kimberly (40, Eris' Husband), Eos Lyle (36, Neptune's Wife, Née Jones), Electra Lyle (30, Quirinus' Wife, Née Jackson), Remus Judd (28, Enyo's Husband), Elara Lyle (24, Saturn's Wife, Née Hughes), Tatius Horton (22, Echo's Husband), Cassandra Underhill (24, Puck's Wife, Née Heath), Arthur Harden (22, Calypso's Husband)

Nieces & Nephews: Demeter Hill (21, Niece, Née Lyle), Adonai Hill (22, Demeter's Husband), Christos Lyle (18, Nephew), Delia Kimberly (18, Niece), Jesus Lyle (15, Nephew), Daphne Lyle (12, Niece), Messiah Lyle (9, Nephew), Cynthia Lyle (9, Niece), Satan Lyle (6, Nephew), Cora Lyle (3, Niece), Yahweh Judd (6, Nephew), Circe Judd (3, Niece), Beowulf Lyle (3, Nephew), Athena Underhill (3, Niece)

Children: None

Children-In-Law: None

Grandkids: None

Great Grandkids: None

Wrestling

Billed From: Hell Itself

Trainer: Damo Lucifarian

Managers: Damo Lucifarian

Wrestlers Managed: None

Debut: 1972

Retired: N/A

Wrestling Style: Trickster

Stables & Teams: The Lucifarian Family (1972-)

Regular Moves: Over The Shoulder Arm Drag, Forearm Smash, Leg Sweep, Chokehold STO, Keylock, Diving Somersault Evasion, Coronation (Neck Wrench), Lineage Ender (Standing Moonsault Double Knee Drop), Lion's Den (Crucifix Pin), Family Pride (Leg Trap Sunset Flip Powerbomb)

Finishers: Mirror Smash (Shooting Star Knee Drop), Flowing DDT, DDT

Refers To Fans As: The Prideful, The Prideful Ones, The Vain, The Vainglorious, The Vainglorious Ones

Commentary Name: The Prodigal Daughter

Extras

Backstory: Vesta 'Ves' Lyle grew up in a broken home, her mother an alcoholic gambling addict, her father a workaholic smoker. At the age of 10 Ves decided to follow in her father's footsteps, and by age 18 she made her debut in the British wrestling circuit. Ves, having the upmost trust in her father, made the decision that he would manage her, and thus the first sin joined the King's 'court of demons'.

Trivia:

Vesta's personality is supposed to make her come across as a vain, rich, arse of a person, yet deep down she's still redeemable, she's got a long way to go before she actually redeems herself though

Vesta's the type of person who makes sure every little detail of her matches and promos are perfect, to the point that she will control what other people do/say, down to the moment/way it's said/done

Vesta's the leader, the brain and the mouth of the group, due to her control over the others

Vesta is arrogant, articulate, demanding, diplomatic, nagging and polished

Vesta is an excellent planner and an excellent speaker

Vesta plans out her matches and promos, going over them several times to make sure they're perfect

Vesta pushes people away by being too controlling

Vesta has to look and sound perfect, or else she won't show herself or do promos

Vesta relies on her father's (Damocles') money, even though she's perfectly capable of paying for everything herself

Vesta likes: Her father (Damocles), Road trips, Purple, Fish and chips, Holidays, Competitions, Highland Cattle, Cloud gazing, Orchids, Mirrors, Sunsets, Leather jackets, V-neck shirts/jumpers, Seashells, Lavender scented candles

Vesta dislikes: Her mother (Phyllis), Deep water, Flying, Black Pudding, Wasps, Rugby, Arguments, Neon green, Sunflowers, Thunderstorms, Broken glass, Baseball caps, Vodka, Motorcycles, Gossip, Fairy Lights, Gambling

Both Damocles and Vesta were born in August, as they are the only (non-kayfabe) members of the same family within the main 8, and the dates were chosen to make them both Leo's, that being the zodiac sign represented by a Lion. Lion's traditionally symbolise: courage, nobility, royalty, strength, stateliness and valour

Vesta especially dislikes George 'The Animal' Steele, because of his very messy style going against her perfectionist views

Vesta's 'Lion's Den' Crucifix Pin is named that due to the idea of being trapped in a Lion's Den, unable to escape

Left: Vesta in 'Human form' (With her natural brown eyes)

Right: Ves in 'Demon form' (With purple eyes)

[ceadgearst]

I'm trying to help myself (long verse, long poem)

Ceadgearst

TW: mentions of self harm, mental health issues

Idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk

Idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk

Idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk

I

decay

Where I stay

Watch me rot away in your face

I'm a waste I'm the waste

I stand on top of the world

With my favorite girl

And I twirl her around

There is music I can't hear a sound

Except for our heartbeats or maybe if she happens to speak

She gets me weak I feel so meek I rumble underneath

With my tongue inside her cheek

I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish

For what I had

I am glad but now I am sad

I am mad at myself for that gross negligence of wealth

Not in gold

but in good

I had everything I should

And I could've done more

So? Poor me

I weep in jealousy

I feel in envy of all I see

All the homies that don't talk to me

Sometimes I wonder what I could be if I never had to bleed

I wonder what it's like I think about it like a greed

I wish I was freed

But I'm always bound by something

But at the same time my wrists will remind me of the binds

Just like the pain in the back of my spine

Or my experiences uniquely mine

I wish I was fine

but I'm looking for a status quo that I don't actually know

I wish I could sit in the snow

And just lay there surrounded by a sea

That blends into me like light on a shadow

I'm glad though

that I've seen what I've seen sometimes because I can't mistake life for a dream

I see the cognation and the machine

The violence and the beauty seen

It makes me wanna scream because everything is a contradiction at it's seam

Do you dream?

Did you have a good dream?

I had a good one

We were basking in the sun

and we went to the lake and had a lot of fun

I can still taste your lips, the gloss, the caprisun

Did you think that I was done?

I'm only getting started

The way God drew you is the best art he ever did

I love you from head to shin

Beyond and in

When I look at you my future begins

I feel like you're my lucky girl at cards, when you're there I'm in

You came from the stars

I guess we all did but it's more apparent with you

it's true

there's something inside you stronger than glue

I feel the spirit in you and I just feel blessed by you

Ooo

I just love you

Delirious

I'm curious if I'm all that serious

Near to this thought is maybe that I'm not

if there was a shot

I would take it yeah not

My dad was named dot

and I hope he gets shot

He's everything I'm not and I'm actually pretty grateful cause he's a pretty hateful

guy I seen the devil in his eyes

Maybe I hope he dies

But part of me hopes he'll pull up to me with a burger and some fries

And say "sorry for all those years of lies"

But I would be too surprised so I'd probably expire and then my dad's engine would catch on fire

Me going somewhere and him going down

I don't know the fate of me the clown

There's others I can dam cause I know they're evil fucks

But when I weigh myself either way I don't feel enough

So maybe I'll just be a ghost or some stuff

That would be rough but it would be enough for me to read the newspaper

And ask all the questions about the tomorrow of later

I don't know, I'm rambling unstable

It's 3:48 it's pretty late but I gotta be up for some stuff around 7

I wish there was heaven but all I see is earth

The sky and it's girth

The sun in it's worth

The dirt the roots the earth's tooth

The rocks I tossed

like the stars when crossed

I lost my why somewhere down the line

so I confine myself to what I think is fine

This is mine

Cause there's nothing here

But empty fears and anxieties

Clothing stuck in the nineties

I smile kindly and then the memories remind me

Why I have no parents and I do my own arrends

Everyone talks to me how far it is to drive

When I walk everywhere just to keep alive

To get food to eat

A job to scorn

I get torn in half

And then I laugh like everyday

These emotions never stay

Just like the seasons I always change

But lately it feels like global warming isn't it strange

A flow of conscious I'm honest in what I think when I write with no ink simply sitting somewhere where I can think and breathe and talk to myself with ease

I've been alone for too long

I can't keep singing the song that's just wrong that hurts the ones I love but I just don't get it just because I think I do enough but I struggle to understand love

There is pain in something that'll you'll never read

There is life in every seed

That the crows pick up when they need to feed

October is my favorite month maybe just because I found my love then and that's enough

In my past years Octobers were so rough

But now with her I just feel so much love

I never want it to stop

But I don't want to scare her

Away

I want to keep her to stay

I want to lay with her all day

Pray to who you believe

The honest god, not the one that thieves

I feel the rain in my knees in my nose

The smell white people act like they don't know

The older I get the more I see my mom in my face

It makes me cry when I waste

huh

[bookwyrminspiration]

Alden loves tangling his antenna with Quinlin

(That's an innuendo and a statement)

i'm in the middle of a rather critical emotional scene in this fic, one I've been working up to for several thousand words, then I open my tumblr and what do I see?

i like to think that alden is really unwieldy with his antennae and they frequently get caught and tangled. not like the innuendo tangled with quinlin's but they actually get tangled. he needs assistance getting them untangled from quinlin's so he can move again. no one knows how he does it, least of all himself.

quinlin, bless his heart, is incredibly patient and puts up with Alden's clumsiness. just because he's one of the best telepaths in their world doesn't mean he knows what to do with the antennae. even though he's had so many queer (but not gay since they're cognates) thoughts about quinlin that he grew his antennae earlier than any other elf in history (if we're going with the queer antennae theory).

i hope the two of them are safe and communicate when they're tangling their antennae together. you know, wouldn't want one to get caught and injured, that's all. antennae are sensitive, after all. just concerned for their antennae health, there's no double meaning here (lying)