#coffee theory my beloved

[luppiart]

Hihi haha hoho huhu *im insane

[dee-morris]

I Think We Moved on Too Quickly from Coffee Theory

Yeah yeah I know. But hear me out.

When I watched the season two finale the first time, I felt blindsided by it. From a narrative perspective it made sense, bc Neil Gaiman said that he needed to set up the situation that would make season three possible and okay yeah, that probably meant putting Crowley and Aziraphale in weird and different places. I got that. But from a character perspective it felt like a huge reversal from Aziraphale's behavior throughout season two, and of course that led me to look for outside factors that could have caused it.

After talking about it with Internet friends, reading lots of metas, thinking and discussing and watching the season over again, I decided that it wasn't necessary to believe that Aziraphale had been drugged. Most of what he said and did could be explained by careful study and analysis. Once you realize that Metabitch's presence in the bookshop is a veiled threat, everything else falls into place.

Nevertheless.

I definitely DO NOT Believe that Aziraphale was brainwashed or mind controlled by the coffee. His behavior during the Final Fifteen was frenetic, desperate, little bit manic. Definitely not the behavior of a mindless zombie. But nevertheless.

I still think that there was too much emphasis on the coffee for it to be a simple prop. Is it a literal macguffin or a symbolic one, that I'm not sure. I could see it either way. It might be just a symbol of the Sophie's Choice that Aziraphale had been presented with, or... There might have actually been something in the coffee.

The show makes a point of telling us that celestials can be affected by human poison. Almonds are symbolic in the Bible, and cyanide smells like almonds. Again, Aziraphale's behavior at the breakup scene was not that of a brainwashed person, but what if the Metatron TRIED something like that and it didn't completely work?

Aziraphale didn't want to follow the Metatron until after he drank the coffee. And even then he turned and looked at Crowley, and he didn't move until Crowley told him to go ahead. (Cue the Breaking Bad Walter Screaming in the Car meme) What if whatever the Metatron tried on Aziraphale only kind of worked? Just enough to make Aziraphale a bit dizzy and suggestible, but being close to Crowley mitigated the worst of it. That's why Metatrash needed to separate them.

Aziraphale is very clever, and if he knew he'd been drugged he would also know better than to let on that it hadn't worked completely. Cue the weird off-key phrases that are ALMOST in character but still pretty damn weird. "Heaven is the side of goodness, of light" my dude has NEVER said anything like that. He's said that about God, yes, but he's always held a distinction between God and heaven. Or "you're the bad guys" that's just WEIRD, that's a weird thing for him to say, and I will die on this hill. Even during their worst fights Aziraphale has made distinctions been himself and Crowley in terms of their job descriptions, but he's never made a moral judgement like that before, nor has he ever lumped Crowley in with the rest of hell. "They're the bad guys," now that would have made sense, and if it were anyone but Neil Gaiman running this shit I would think that it was a simple scripting error. But Neil doesn't make mistakes like that.

So Aziraphale plays along and tried desperately to communicate with Crowley that something IS VERY WRONG but our favorite disaster demon picks NOW to get in his feelings and ignore the clear and present danger standing outside the bookshop and staring at them. I'm pretty sure "I forgive you" is Aziraphalese for ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

Again, I don't need my version of Coffee Theory to be real to understand what happened in the Final Fifteen, but it's just an interesting little toy to roll around in my head. There's so much emphasis on that coffee in the show and even in the episode synopsis, I still think there's something about it that we haven't been told.

[goodgomens]

I get that the ending of GO2 hurts worse than sticking your unmentionables in a blender, but those of you saying it doesn't make sense or is OOC, or god forbid, PROPOSING AZIRAPHALE WAS MIND CONTROLLED, do not seem to understand how good characterization works.

Firstly, if Aziraphale was drugged/mind controlled into accepting the offer in the finale, that makes everything he said and did afterwards meaningless. Neil Gaiman is a very successful writer. I really believe he would not, under any sane circumstances, undo such a pivotal moment for a character with "LOL JK he was drugged 😂," because good writers don't write in a fundamental character flaw only to nuke it later with a twist that destroys all of their previous characterization. Aziraphale's crippling dependence on/devotion to heaven as a "force for good" has been there (practically screaming at the audience) since S1, and WAS NEVER RESOLVED, despite him being barred from heaven throughout S2. The only thing that he realized in S1 was that GABRIEL and the ARCHANGELS were flawed, and that they were orchestrating Armageddon without divine input. The S2 finale very clearly shows that Aziraphale did not pin that on the system of heaven and hell itself, as Crowley has.

I am going to attempt to explain why I believe that.

This season had a lot less emphasis on "Crowley's got a good side, Aziraphale's a bit of a bastard," than S1. In fact, there was almost none of that going on here, at least not explicitly. Instead, it focused on showing that Crowley and Aziraphale 1) both fundamentally didn't align with their head offices' MOs pre-armageddon and 2) that this was because they were both too good/kind to assimilate fully. Go watch the arc with Job again. Crowley can't bring himself to kill goats, let alone kids, and neither can Aziraphale, despite the fact that he knows it's good in theory because God and heaven want it. And yet, he doesn't go along with killing Job's kids because he knows it's wrong, and goes so far as to lie to his superiors (again) and, in his mind, damn himself for the sake of those kids. In the end though, Crowley helps him come to the conclusion that he is "an angel who goes along with heaven as far as he can," just as Crowley is "a demon who goes along with hell as far as he can," which apparently lets Aziraphale cope with the dissonance between his morals and heaven's orders.

So, if they have functionally the same mindset on paper, why don't they agree on what to do in the finale?

I think a lot of it is because they're both good, but that goodness is received very differently in their different roles and circumstances. Crowley is a demon who is crafty and mischievous, but ultimately, harm in the name of mischief is all that he's ever willing and able to do. He can't stoop to killing livestock, much less people. In S1 his goodness is set up to support his and Aziraphale's unique and ironic dynamic, with the plausible excuse that humans can do evil more creatively than he can, so he doesn't have to be genuinely evil. However, this season shows us another, much more relevant aspect of this goodness: it's just who he is. He was good in heaven, absorbed in making the universe beautiful and ensuring it would grow and develop nicely as it aged, and aside from questioning heaven's plans, he seemed like a model angel. Even when he is explicitly ordered to kill by hell, he doesn't kill people. In contrast, we see Hastur literally eat like 20 telemarketers for no other reason than because he felt like it in S1.

The reason Crowley sees through heaven is because he has been fully rejected by it, and he thus has experience not fitting in as both an angel and a demon. He was thrown out of heaven, the supposed embodiment of goodness as an organization, for asking to preserve the beauty and life of the universe: not just for asking questions, but for asking to do something objectively GOOD. Once he's kicked out of the "good" place for trying to do good and prevent needless destruction, then it's easy for him to realize that heaven is not actually a force for good, it just says it is. He falls for asking questions as an angel, and refusing to go along with doing true evil, which he continues to do in hell. After he spends a lot of time in hell, which is transparently evil, he finds out that they frequently AGREE with heaven on issues like Armageddon and torturing Job, and sees firsthand that the system itself, and the idea of heaven and hell, is rigged and contrived. If heaven and hell were opposites and were each truly good and evil, then they could never agree with each other on anything by design, yet they both want to end the world more than seemingly anything else. He has seen angels act just as violently and vindictively as demons (at levels of malice he, a demon, has never and would never sink to himself) so he also knows that, of course, the whole "angels good, demons bad" thing is bullshit, especially because he himself is GOOD, as Aziraphale and other characters reminded him all the time in S2.

However, Aziraphale attributes the systemic issues in heaven to individual angels, rather than the structure of heaven and hell themselves, because he still believes in the system and is privileged within it compared to Crowley. He sees evils endorsed by heaven as exceptions to the rule rather than signs of a core, systemic problem with heaven itself, and he sees the evils and contradictions of hell as the natural order of things because hell is supposed to be bad. He sees Crowley as an exception to the rule of "demons bad" and sees the archangels as exceptions to the rule of "angels good," rather than realizing that these rules aren't really true to begin with. Unlike Crowley, he has never been explicitly victimized or punished by heaven as an institution, only really bullied and belittled by other angels. He attributes the problems in heaven to said angels being in power, rather than heaven itself, both because he is too afraid to question heaven and potentially face the same consequences as Crowley has, and because he doesn't have the same perspective or insight Crowley does as a demon. Aziraphale probably believes that he has remained an angel by doing good and being good like he assumes heaven wants, rather than recognizing the real reason: he hasn't tried to undermine or question the system of heaven itself, and constantly makes excuses for it. The finale of S1 seemingly assured him that the archangels, who he no longer trusted/believed in at that point, had taken armageddon into their own hands. This made it safe for him to conclude armageddon wasn't a problem with heaven as an institution, it was a problem with the archangels. He thinks heaven isn't fundamentally corrupt, and that it was just a few bad apples responsible for trying to end the world, especially because he didn't have any administrative power then. Heaven does presumably reward good humans in the afterlife, and his job assignments mostly consist of doing good on Earth in general, at least on paper, so in his mind, of course heaven is good. I also think Aziraphale believes that his own goodness isn't just innate to who he is, but is a result/requirement of him being an angel. His perception of himself aligns with his perception of heaven in large part, so he isn't motivated to question either of those things.

However, heaven clearly exists not to spread goodness, but to pursue its own interests, primarily the end of the world and ultimate power after their ideal victory over hell. Both heaven and hell want to start the apocalypse in hopes of gaining a monopoly over the universe after finally beating the other. Notice that the Mettatron talks about his big plans for the second coming with Aziraphale right after he accepts the job, rather than plans for spreading goodness as Aziraphale had assumed would be his job: now that he's in a position of power, heaven has dropped its mask because he is complicit as an authority figure, and they could easily unseat him if he becomes a problem, just like they did to Gabriel. Heaven's goodness is a facade, a means to an end, and ultimately, a PR strategy that serves to brainwash the angels/employees who aren't responsible for calling the shots so that they don't question the power structure. Under this paradigm, if angels question heaven, and heaven is the ultimate good, it must mean that the angel's question comes from some flaw in them rather than a legitimate problem with heaven, which is why none of the angels seem willing to do it.

Aziraphale was lured into believing he was being asked back into the system to finally do the kind of good he wanted to by what he thought was a legitimate sign of kindness within heaven, an apparently purely altruistic gift (the cup of coffee) from the Metatron. He viewed it as a sign that there was still good in heaven after all. Significantly, Aziraphale, unlike Crowley, did not see the videos in Heaven and does not have the full context for Gabriel's amnesia, and is missing some of that crucial evidence of heaven's goal to hasten the apocalypse. The reason there was such an emphasis on the coffee is not that it was drugged or miracled to force him to accept, but because it was a very overt manipulation tactic that builds on the core themes of the show. It was the Metatron pretending to do something out of goodness, just as heaven has done for all this time, even though its actual goal is to destroy the world. The coffee was a deliberate bait and switch by the Metatron, and it is a very potent symbol: a false promise of altruism made to lure good people into working for an evil/corrupt system. I think that Aziraphale, in the credits, is (aside from reeling from his fallout with Crowley) trying his best to rationalize his decision to try to change heaven from the inside, and chalking the Metatron's behavior up as one more bad apple/angel.

We'll see if he finally realizes that the system itself is unfixable in S3.

TLDR: the characterization that led to the finale has been there the whole time. It might be surprising or upsetting, but it is very much not out of character or unprecedented.

[that-angels-demon]

Maybe I’m slow on the draw and everyone connected these dots already, or maybe I’ve just realized how important Jim’s arc is to Aziraphale’s decision at the end of season two.

Not only does Aziraphale meet a completely new, kind person in Gabriel without his memories, but when he finally regains them, he doesn’t revert to his cold self. Gabriel is a reformed person, finally having formed his own opinions outside of the strict guise of Heaven.

And Aziraphale finally realizes that even the worst of the angels have the ability to change.

The happy couple being allowed to disappear and live their eternity together is the proof he needs to believe the others may be swayed as well.

And the Metatron’s timing in all of this is horrifically perfect, catching Zira in a vulnerability that has just formed, and pulling him right back into the cycle of abuse.

[rizsu]

he's married ?! nanami kento.

sum. he's easily the top most handsome guy within his job. his relationship status is unknown, so what happens when his co-workers ship him with a female worker?

nanami is well known within his company. tall, insanely fit, and an attractive voice. it's not uncommon for men and women alike to find themselves thinking about him often. what's not common is knowing about his love life. no one knows anything and he would've kept it that way. but when push comes to shove, and you're shipped with someone who's not your beloved, nanami will make it known that he's not only taken but married.

in the coffee-break room there are three guys. now, there's nothing unusual about this — no, no. they're just three guys that are co-workers... except there's a twist. they aren't your regular co-workers, they're your uncommon trio of male gossipers and nanami just so happened to be their newest victim.

"shh, shh! he's here," guy one, tichi, whispers to the others, raising his eyebrows and pointing his chin to nanami's position.

the other two take a quick glance, nodding their heads when they've seen nanami's back faced towards them. it's a perfect moment to strike up a conversation, especially since it's just four men here.

guy two, tacho, shuffles his feet to the empty space near nanami. he pretends to open a sugar packet, fiddling with it as his eyes peep over nanami's shoulder. his heart skips multiple beats when the man himself turns around.

"morning to you, tacho," nanami greets, nodding his head before he turns his attention back to his cup of coffee.

"y-yeah, morning!" he stutters, awkwardly smiling in return. he turns his head to the other two in the background, mouthing the word 'help' to them. unfortunately, they do not give the aid to their friend. instead, tichi fakes a series of coughs and guy three, toeny, gives him a confident double thumbs up. there's no hope, tacho sighs.

it's a silent moment between the men — only the sounds of coffee brewing and a spoon coming into contact with the mug can be heard. tacho's mouth itches him, he happened to remember his group's recent conversation about nanami. he must ask — even if it costs him a mutual co-worker.

"so, nanami," he begins, waiting for nanami to give him the undivided attention.

nanami doesn't face him, but he hums in response. tacho doesn't mind this as an answer, so he continues, "i was wondering if the rumors of you being with the new worker, yeri, are true?"

there is one big lie in that question: there are no such rumors. it's just a theory the trio has been gossiping about every night. nanami's been helping out yeri for quite some time, one can only think that they have a special connection going on.

"that is bullshit," nanami gives a firm answer. nothing more, nothing less.

tacho's stunned, he blinks a few times to recollect himself. "oh — so you're not with her?"

nanami doesn't answer yet, but the two in the back give their unwanted reactions. tichi clicks his tongue three times, shaking his head in disappointment at tacho's second question. it's obvious dumbass, he thinks. toeny, on the other hand, presses his lips in a thin line, pretending to read a magazine that's been on the counter.

nanami reaches into his pocket, whipping out his phone. the trio's confused until nanami speaks.

"i am married man. this is my wife," he educates, pressing the power button to show you as his lockscreen.

he collects three gasps, internally nodding at their shock. that's right, i'm gladly taken.

"all this time you've been... MARRIED?!" tacho's voice heightens, he drops his spoon in shock. it's unbelievable yet somewhat believable.

nanami breathes out a 'yes', raising his arm to show the wristwatch. "she bought this for our five-years anniversary recently. it's quite expensive, going over four-thousand," he brags, emphasizing on key words.

he's been waiting for the precious day where someone indirectly asks for his relationship status. the day has come and he will spend it bragging about his beloved.

nanami doesn't give them a chance to speak, he carries on with his bragging, "she's a very lovely woman. all my bentos are made by her and she writes little notes for each. some may think it's childish but that's bullshit! they just haven't experienced the love of a woman. matter of fact, her most beautiful moments are when she's freshly awake. the smile she gives me is nothing but angelic."

his speech doesn't stop there, but it did for the trio. his words went in one ear and out the next. nanami's blabbering about his wife immediately set a blank face upon tichi, tacho, and toeny. they're jealous and also surprised.

"the way a woman can change a man will never not be amazing," toeny whispers, blankly gazing at nanami's ongoing speech.

[thatdeadaquarius]

So like I just went through almost all your language posts and I was wondering what if like the creator sometimes just switches languages out of no where and everyone is just like:😃. Cuz like they don’t understand what they mean and it happens randomly too or when they’re irritated and they just start cussing in like 3 different languages at once

IM SO SORRY TO DO IT TO YOU-

but i think ive written some stuff abt this before?

u know what tho.

ive got an even better idea. my “go-to” if you will.

Torture Alhaitham.

>:)

^^^ ALHAITHAM RUNNING U DOWN AFTER YOU SAY EXACTLY (1) WORD IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE HE’S NEVER HEARD-

☆

Sun: Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: SHORT headcanons-ish?, Language shenanigans!

Stars: Alhaitham (suffer lol)

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: None Known & Trigger Warnings: None Known.

he’s watching you. constantly.

he’s always writing about you.

he’s following you around Sumeru City.

he’s following you around Port Ormos.

he’s at your house-

Alhaitham learns you speak multiple languages before any other akademiya schloar, and he’s submitting a thesis about “the Greatest Lords languages from their home world”

before you can even say “I’ll think about it” in any language u know lol

people have definitely mistaken him as your favored acolyte (not that he does much to deny it)

and talk to him like he’s your secretary?? …oh, welp.

Alhaitham knows your schedule for the next month within a week of following you

mans is willing to do the MOST to get you to sit down and just start talking in a language at him

want food? his specialty dish ingredients are always at the ready at his house

want literature? he’s offering to literally break into the akademiya (or giving you a copy of his house key to have access to his personal library all the time)

(tho kaveh is practically hugging you to his chest as you walk around perusing as he talks ur ear off lmao)

Haitham (he sometimes insists you call him when it’s just you two) wants to singlehandedly be the first person who understands every word you say when u coo at dogs in another language

or cuss out a fictional character for being stupid

CRYING U CANT EVEN GET MAD AT HIM BC

every time u get pissed he’s interrupting every other word you say to ask for definitions/clarifications of slang 😭

send help he’s made a red string theory board of all the languages you’ve used to try and just- make sense of all their rules and when you use them and how to tell the difference and oh no-

Alhaitham’s hanging pictures of you mid-sentence with ur mouth open or even worse when ur yelling.

…u know maybe its not for an akademiya project, maybe he’s just trying to humble you. 💀

☆

thanks again for sending this ask in!! :D

language sagaus my beloved <3

tbh i have likeeeee 54 things in my drafts rn? so needless to say im slow, BUT IM SO HAPPY U GUYS GAVE ME THIS MUCH TO FAWN OVER, REQUESTS OR NO <333333333333

:]

an iced coffee? for me?? :O

☆

Safe Travels Ariasdream,

💀♒

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

[imminent-danger-came]

Sun Wukong Knew About MK the Whole Time: A Theory

I am currently hyped up on leftovers and iced coffee, so let's do this!

I've talked about this before, here and here, but I think it's finally time I wrote an official post. You can go and read those posts if you want to (I definitely hit the nail on the head with some of this stuff), but I will be compiling a lot of what I said on those posts here!

So. Let's get the Mr. Elephant out of the room first: The David Breen Tweets. (thread here).

I see this tweet mentioned a lot whenever I bring up SWK knowing about MK, and honestly, this is a far cry from the "it's been confirmed that SWK didn't know" definite answer everyone's been implying.

So let's break it down!

#1: "Monkey King ain't the father"/"Monkey King isn't his dad." Well of course! Being born from a stone means you don't have any parents. I see it like this: Wukong isn't MK's dad, but he's also not NOT MK's dad, it's a secret third thing (creator and creation). Or, perhaps Wukong didn't help create MK at all, but he at the very least was involved in the circumstances that lead to MK being created/being born from the stone. (Aka eldritch abomination MK theory. My Beloved. Okay sorry.)

#2: "Monkey King was ripping his way through memories looking for MK, but kept coming back to the stone. He doesn't know why." So, while Wukong was ripping through memories, he didn't know why the scroll kept spitting him out by the stone. This is not a confirmation that Wukong didn't know about MK and his origins. It also begs the question: how did Wukong know MK was in the scroll to begin with? There's also some speculation to be had about why Wukong was so desperate to find MK to begin with:

MK: "Monkey King did this?" Macaque: "It looks like he's been tearing his way through his past—trying to find his way to.." MK: "Me."

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

What was he so afraid of MK finding? Or, what was he afraid the scroll would force MK to experience? I think these are questions worth asking.

#3: "Wukong's trying real hard to leave the 'not being open with MK' days behind after s3. Problem is he's got lifetimes of info to catch them up on." Well, this one is a DOOZIE. One: we already know MK doesn't know everything about Wukong and his choices because he doesn't know Wukong killed Macaque (thank you 4x11). Two: "trying real hard" and "successfully doing" are very different things. And three: YOU DON'T JUST DROP INFO LIKE "Hey, did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" ON TOP OF SOMEONE RANDOMLY. Especially not MK. You have to prepare them for it.

Wukong is trying to do better and be better for everyone around him, but that still takes work. That still isn't easy. He's still going to make mistakes, which means he's not going to always go about being open with MK in the best way.

Sun Wukong: “Point is, mistakes happen, but so long as you leave the world in better shape than you found it, then it’s all good. Right?”

(4x01 Familiar Tales)

-

This scene—to me—feels like Wukong is trying prepare MK for his eventual "Hey did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" conversation he wants (and needs) to have down the line. Yes, SWK is trying to be more open with MK, but he's also just not going to be given that chance before the truth comes out.

MK: "Yeah right, if Monkey King really was my dad don't you think he would have said something by now?" Mei: "Yeah...because he's normally SOOOOO forth coming with information." MK: "Well uh, whatever—when we find Monkey King's stone, then we'll just ask him!"

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

Notice how they never asked Monkey King that question? From a writing standpoint, why bring this up at all if it wasn't to imply that (even if Monkey King isn't MK's dad) he wasn't involved with MK's creation in some way?

ANYWAYS.

NOW THAT THE BREEN TWEET THAT HAS RUINED MY LIFE IS OUT OF THE WAY, let's get into the evidence given to us throughout the entirety of the show. Starting with this:

This isn't a scene that takes place during the "A Hero is Born" special, as I'm sure plenty of people have noticed before now. Of course, this could have just been Monkey King "scouting out a successor", but with everything we know now doesn't that...feel kinda weird?

We were told at the beginning of the show that Monkey King gave MK his powers, but now we know that's not true. MK has had his own powers this whole time—and that's something Wukong, at the very least, knew:

Sun Wukong: "Listen kid: You fought demons, and you didn't die, and you made it here! Not just anyone can lift my staff, but you did." (1x00 A Hero is Born)

-

MK: "This whole time, I thought my powers came from the staff! Sun Wukong: "The staff's just a big 'ol stick bud! It takes someone special to lift it." (3x03 Smartie Kid)

-

There's also 1x09 Macaque, which I have mentioned before:

Macaque: "Ohohoh no, can't you hold the magic staff anymore? Well, you know what that means—there really isn't anything special about you. You're just a kid with a heavy stick."

This scene is then followed by MK lifting the staff, which only happens because Wukong encourages him.

MK: "Ugh, I can't! I'm not strong enough." Sun Wukong: "Kid! We're definitely going to have words later, but it's time for the Hero Stuff!"

(1x09 Macaque)

-

Ultimately, Wukong knows MK can lift the staff again even after Macaque supposedly stole all of MK's powers. He knows MK can beat DBK (more on that later). He does something similar to all this in 3x14, being the one to let MK face the Lady Bone Demon, powered by the Samadhi fire, alone (even after Pigsy tries to stop MK):

Wukong want's to protect MK. That's why he went to face the Lady Bone Demon alone in the first place—but here, he let's MK stop the end of the world all by himself. Why would he let his beloved student face not only LBD, but a reality ending flame alone?

Because he knows how much power MK has. Because he knows MK is capable of doing it.

This all brings me to my main point: If before now we were supposed to believe that Monkey King gave MK his powers, and he so clearly didn't, how would Wukong not know he didn't give MK powers. And because he clearly knew he didn't give MK any powers, why would he not question where this kid's insane level of power came from? He had to have "chosen" MK to be his successor for a reason right?

ESPECIALLY because Wukong never planned on being a mentor in the first place:

Sun Wukong: "I know I can never make it up to you. Honestly, I- I never thought I'd live as long as I have let alone be someone's mentor—turns out I'm not very good at it. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry MK. For all of it."

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

This was also alluded to in 3x05 Amnesia Rules:

Pigsy: "Of COURSE you don't remember the kid—one day you are going to grow up to be a terrible mentor!" Sun Wukong: "Ha! Zhu Bajie, can you imagine me teaching someone? HA!"

-

So, Wukong clearly didn't ever want to become a mentor, and this directly contradicts what Wukong says to MK in "A Hero is Born":

Sun Wukong: "You're perfect!" MK: "Perfect for what?" Sun Wukong: "To be...my successor!"

Honestly, think about it: has Wukong ever once actually needed a successor? When given the opportunity, he goes off and tries to handle things on his own anyways (Leaving in s2, wanting to go and reforge the Samadhi Fire on his own, going to stop LBD alone). It's the classic "we're being told one thing and shown another" trick.

Sun Wukong: "No no no- in case you forgot I'M retired, you're the one supposed to be taking care of the bad guys." (1x01 Bad Weather)

Even in 2x01 he's lying:

Sun Wukong: "Aw, come on bud! I promised myself that when I found a successor I'd go see some friends, take a tour of my old stomping grounds, just cut loose you know?" (2x01 Sleep bug)

It's proven in the next episode, and by the fact that all of his friends are dead/gone, that literally nothing he said here is true.

And, it's also note worthy to point out, that by this point Wukong had already disappeared for hundreds of years. Why step in again at all? Why put the effort into getting a successor you definitely were never prepared to have?

MK: "*sigh* You think Monkey King ever felt like this? Maybe that's why he stayed up on this mountain, just having a good time with you guys. You know cause- cause he knew he'd be out of the way where he couldn't hurt anyone he cared about." Macaque: "Or, he was doing his usual Wukong thing and being a lazy peach eating idiot. Ignoring all the worlds problems.

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

So, I don't know about you, but I'm going to trust Macaque's insight on this. I'm not sure Wukong ever planned on coming back. Sealing DBK, he effectively cut off one of his last ties to the world (please go read wlw-wukong's thoughts, they are delightful), and he had already left the world alone for a long time. Why did he feel the need to train a successor now?

The simple answer is this: because he knew he needed to train MK and teach him to control his powers, and DBK's return was the perfect way to do it.

NOW. THE S4 MK VISIONS.

So, the visions MK see's all through out s4 (4x03, 4x04, 4x05, 4x06) are of Wukong ripping through the scroll and going to the stone—David Breen confirmed that himself in the above tweets.

Here's a list of what we see:

(4x03 The Great Tang Man)

-

(4x04 Pig Napped)

-

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

These are what I would say are the visions of Sun Wukong trying to find MK in the scroll. Yet, they are distinctly different from what Subodhi presses MK to remember ("Tell me of your childhood, your parents." "You do not remember?" "And what else?"):

(4x06 Show Me the Monster)

-

Look at that difference!

Every vision MK has includes the same scenes, except this one. That's why I think it's a memory; that and the way it's framed, with MK closing his eyes in focus. The other visions from 4x03, 4x04, and 4x05 all are unprompted, being forced upon MK. Why make this last "vision" so different from the others? Why show our mystery lady making the stone monkey? That would be because it's a memory—be it MK's, something from the scroll, or a mix of both.

There's also the matter of like, why Wukong going to the stone would trigger any sort of vision in MK to begin with. Overall, it just seems like there something more to those visions.

This would be how I imagine the general timeline playing out:

MK is created (through help of Sun Wukong), a beautiful baby boy pops out of the stone, and Sun Wukong "loses" that beautiful boy (if Wukong knew he was born to begin with) with MK finding his way to Pigsy's.

Then it's later Sun Wukong finds MK again, coming up with a plan to make MK his "successor" (still leaving MK with Pigsy, which I think was the right call lol). As Wukong says in 4x01, "You make ONE mistake, and no one ever let's you live it down! Looks like the ghosts of my past have finally caught up with me." That's what I think this parallel in particular is really trying to show off—in some way, MK is part of his past mistakes, just like Macaque is.

AND SO. I WILL CLOSE OFF THIS THEORY POST WITH EVERYTHING WE LEARNED IN THE SPECIAL.

Sun Wukong: "Heh, nothing gets under his skin more than a monkey. Leave Azure to MK and me."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Sun Wukong: "Kinda embarrassing for the Jade Emperor to have two little cheeky monkeys running circles around him the first day on the job." MK: "Well, one monkey and one unconfirmed, but *laughs* yeah! I'd be embarrassed for sure!"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Wukong sounds suspiciously confident that MK is a monkey.

Not even MK is sure what he is (which he's probably just in denial, but also "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is?" from 4x08 anyone?), but Sun Wukong is extremely certain about what MK is.

Sun Wukong: "We got this bud. Would have liked to give you some new training with your monkey form, but-" MK: "Oh yeah yeah yeah- uh um- about that— um. I- I was thinking, I've never really needed a scary new monkey form before, so, I just thought maybe I'd use it next time." Sun Wukong: "Next time? Kid, there might not be a next time! This is the time."

MK: "It's be fine! Mei and I have got this awesome new armor and everything! You know, when we look this good? Ain't nothing gonna beat us." Sun Wukong: "Kid. New armor isn't going to cut it! We have to hit Azure with everything we've got! You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!"

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

If the writers were trying to highlight the fact that Wukong didn't know, this scene would have gone very differently. Instead of "You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!" I think it would have been more along the lines of "I know this is new for all of us, but you've got to accept this part of your power!".

Even this exchange at the end of the special raises some alarm bells for me:

Pigsy: "Heh, don't bother. I've been telling him that for years but he LITERALLY never listens." Sun Wukong: "Yep! That's how we roll."

(4x14 Better Than We Found It)

-

That's how "we" roll? As in him and MK, as two monkeys? Again, Wukong is surprisingly chill and okay with this new form for someone whose first interaction with it was supposedly this:

MK, writhing on the ground in pain, completely destroying the world around him, and unable to control his powers.

Sun Wukong: "Yeah! Go MK, go! Just try not to totally wreck up my stuff would ya-"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Overall, it gives me the impression that Wukong already knew what MK was before 4x07. This new form didn't scare him because he always knew that's what MK was. MK, to Wukong, is MK! And MK has always been a Monkey Demon. He has unshakeable faith in his protege, and even while MK is absolutely tearing up the world around flower fruit mountain he can't help but cheer for him.

After all, Wukong knows MK is the only one who could defeat Azure:

MK: "Ne Zha's right—while Azure has the Jade Emperor's power and the scroll, there's NO way we could beat him head on!" Sun Wukong: "I mean, some of us could beat him! *ahem* One of us, specifically-" MK: "Nope! None of us at all."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

"But Imp!" I hear you say, "Wukong was talking about himself here!". To which I would reply, that's not true! This scene is right after Wukong has already said he only almost beat the Jade Emperor:

Sun Wukong: "But don't worry—I almost beat the Jade Emperor single handed once! Between both of us, Azure doesn't stand a chance." (4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Between this and Wukong's pre-fight convo with MK ("We have to hit Azure with everything we've got!"), he's clearly banking on MK using the full extent of his powers to win this fight. Wukong isn't banking on his own—if he were, he would never have left MK to go and collect the scroll pieces during their fight with Azure.

Conclusion

Sun Wukong knew MK was a monkey the whole time, lol—and fate has plans for MK. Great plans, or foul? Time will tell.

And Wukong has done his best to ensure that those plans are great.

[ratboyvince]

The Magnus Protocol - Glitch theory

In light of the current theory/assumption that in The Magnus Protocol, the audio glitches when the characters lie, I’ve been re listening!! And I’m going to be using this post and others to explore what this means for our beloved characters

The glitches aren’t on the transcript, sometimes there will be a direction like (uncertain) or (unconvincing), but thats the best i can do you for, otherwise you will have to take my word

First though, quick clarifications: what exactly is a lie in this context? - this is fairly obvious but i am including it for the avoidance of any doubt what i have gathered is that, in this theory we are assuming a lie is a character saying something they KNOW is not true in attempt to wilfully deceive someone

It is NOT:

A joke, or sarcasm

Believing something but being wrong

Finally, a lot of the lies i have so far are ones that are known to known to be untrue, what i will do is have a list of the blatant lies SO FAR to make my point, to work as support for the theory on this post then leave out any following ones to avoid making it excessively long.

The rest of them will be under the cut and more on a thread, sorted by episode. If i miss any, feel free to say!!

BLATANT LIES (theory support)

1.

Teddy: Colin was just saying how much of a BLAST he’s having (GLITCH) isn’t that right?

Lena: oh really.

Colin: Aye, sure (GLITCH)

Teddy: And how he’d love to take the after party to the Pub (GLITCH)

2.

Gwen: Sam? You okay?

Sam: um. Yeah. (GLITCH)

3.

Sam: cinnamon swirl. Please. (GLITCH)

4.

Gwen: Wait. Did you get me a coffee?

Sam: yeah. (GLITCH)

5.

Celia: Sorry, sorry, there was an emergency at home (GLITCH)

EPISODES 1-11 (where applicable) UNDER THE CUT

Episode 1

Teddy: Nahh, we’ll stay in touch, right?

Alice: Course…(GLITCH)

Alice either did not intend to keep in touch with Teddy, or genuinely just does not believe they will.

* saying she’ll miss him was NOT a lie, so it’s probably the latter

Episode 3

Sam: right, right i get it. Consider me *scared straight* (GLITCH)

He wasn’t taking Alice seriously, underestimating how serious it actually was (maybe even as light payback for her not taking him seriously)

Episode 5

Lena: I am certain that if he finds his current assignment unmanageable he can request assistance (GLITCH) or resign, of course…

She knows what the deal is with Central IT (whatever “the deal” may be), and just refuses to help. Maybe even sets up a little hostility between Lena and Colin?

Episode 7

Alice: listen, if you need to step out for some air-

Celia: no, I’m fine, really (GLITCH)

Celia was infact, not fine, probably because she recognised Chester’s voice as Jon “The Archivist” Sims himself and she’s freaked out

Episode 8

Gertrude: well I’m…sorry, but I don’t think gerry can help you. (GLITCH)

—

Gerry: -And then i left

Sam: and that’s all?

Gerry: Yeah I’m afraid so! (GLITCH)

Gertrude and Gerry know more than they’re letting on, and intentionally not sharing.

*Gerry not remembering most of it being true, means that while he’s probably leaving something out, there’s more he genuinely is lost on

Sam: I…may have given you a quick google

Celia: then…yeah. I’m doing a favour for Georgie. (GLITCH)

She Is Not Doing A Favour For Georgie - the research (teleportation, time travel, different universes) is more personal!

Episode 11

Sam: you keep glancing at the door

Alice: ah. It’s nothing (GLITCH)

—

Alice: it’ll be nothing! I’m just jumpy (GLITCH)

Alice is dismissing her anxiety following the trip to the institute.

Alice: “What have I told you about thinking?“

Sam: “Don’t.”

Alice: “That’s right.” (GLITCH)

Probably meaning that Alice is starting to doubt her own ideas, but is just pushing that uncertainty away because that’s what she does and she’s still more comfortable in ignorance, even if she doesn’t think it’s exactly RIGHT to ignore.

[blackypanther9]

If you had a girlfriend and came out to Alastor – Father!Alastor x Teen!Daughter!Reader

To Anon: Hi there, Nonny ! You see I did some research and apparently in the roaring 1920s there was a “Pansy Craze” (a period of increased LGBT visibility In American culture and New Orleans belonged to the USA since 1803, so it could have also affected them in my researches). From the 1920s to 1933 people from the LGBTQ community performed on stages in Cities around the world. So I thought, maybe they knew and I decided to make a TWO in ONE Oneshot, just to make it a bit fair. One where Y/n found out she was lesbian when she was alive and one when she was in Hell. Just in case someone wants a Human Version too. I hope that is not an issue for ya ! ^^’  Without further ado and my nerdy, scraping over the surface knowledge....I hope you enjoy this Oneshot and I hit your expectations with this ! QwQ

TAGLIST: @meg-giry1 @wen01203

(Drawing belongs to rightful owner)

Words: 6 864

Human Version:

You were nervous beyond belief. Why ? Your Father, Alastor Hazbin, the infamous Radio Host, wanted to meet your Lover. Many would be excited, of course, but your case was different. VERY different. Your Father assumed that your Lover was a man, that you somehow got without him knowing, but it was a woman...just like you. You were so very scared of your Father’s reaction.

For weeks you could hide it from him, your dirty little secret. At least you hoped you could, but he knew you were sneaking out a lot, lying into his face with where you went, you were bad in lying. He could read you like an open book.

For three years you knew that you were a lesbian. Men never interested you in any way that would have screamed love. But females ? You saw one once and she was so pretty that your heart started to do flips, when you talked to a pretty girl, you would stutter which you usually never did. These signs were enough for you, to test something and the results showed, that you were indeed...attracted to woman. Your own gender. Fuck.

Your beloved partner, took your left hand into her own, gently. You looked at her and she gave you a smile, to try and encourage you. After you finished your test, by asking her out, just to test a theory, the two of you became actual Lovers and you were happy, just sneaking around and stealing kisses. Now this could all end abruptly. You took a deep breath. You tightened your hold on your Lover’s hand, to ground yourself.

“Here goes nothing...”, you muttered.

You lifted your hand and knocked at the door of your home. Alastor practically locked you out and said he will only let you back inside again, if you let him meet your Lover. No talking yourself out of it.

So you went to her place a scared mess and explained the whole situation. She calmed you down and agreed to go instantly. The faster this is over and done with, the less you can work yourself up about it.

The door swung open and the face of your Father greeted you both, big smile on his face, which dimmed as he saw you and your partner, assuming she was just your friend.

“Cher...who is this ?”, your Father asked, never having met your Girlfriend before.

You took another deep inhale, while your Lover continued to hold your hand and squeezed it affectionately, supporting you the best she could.

“D-Dad...C-can we c-come in ?”, you asked in a nervous stutter.

Alastor looked at you both in concern, knowing this was something heavy and serious to you, so he stepped aside and let you both enter the house. You both just stood in the living room after you took off your shoes. Alastor gestured to the couch, while he went to the kitchen to make some tea and a coffee for himself.

The both of you sat down and you started to shake and sweat. Your partner gave you an affectionate hug.

“Calm down, Love. I’m sure he won’t hate you.”, your Girlfriend said softly.

You looked at her, shaking like a leaf.

“W-what if he...disowns me...? I-I just want his support. W-what if he won’t...accept me ? Accept you ? Accept us ? I love you, but I also love him. I don’t want to lose my Papa. He raised me for years, Darling.”, you whispered shakily.

She hugged you tighter and ran her fingers through your hair, kissing your cheek.

“Don’t draw crosses on the walls just yet, Love. You told me so many stories about your Dad, that I am almost certain, that he will at least try and adjust to this. You said he always made sure that no man will hurt you, never let any of them take you out on a date...maybe he will be glad you are not into men anyways.”, she tried to comfort you.

You looked at her and kissed her lovingly. She really was your rock right now. You were so scared and nervous, that you didn’t even think of that possibility. Your Pa was always gentle with women, but rarely with men. Maybe he will accept this... Hopefully...

Soon enough Alastor returned with two cups.

“I made Peppermint tea. I hope it will calm you down, Cher. You look ready to bolt away and cry.”, your Father said gently and set the two cups down in front of you and your Lover.

“Th-thanks...Papa...”, you got out.

He saw how much you shook. You looked like you were about to cry for hours and it worried him deeply. Did something happen ? Was your friend with you, because your Lover decided to dump you ? Was he abusive ? Did Alastor have to go on another killing spree ?

He returned with his cup of Coffee and sat down in his armchair. He looked at his daughter with worried eyes, still filled with adoration and love for his little girl.

“Mon ange (My Angel), what happened ? Why are you so nervous ?”, your Father asked gently.

Your Lover squeezed your shoulder gently, encouraging you to come out to him.

“Y-you wanted to m-meet my L-Lover...right, Papa ?”, you stuttered out, wringing your hands in an aggressive manner.

Your partner took your hands into hers and squeezed them, trying to avoid it that you hurt yourself. Alastor nodded.

“Did he hurt you ? Do I have to get police involved ?”, he asked you.

You shook your head and then clammed your mouth shut. Your anxiety was skyrocketing.

“Drink a sip of your tea, Cher.”, your Father suggested gently.

You shakily reached out for it and as you took it, Alastor saw how violently you shook. You almost spilled your drink while you sipped on it. After you sipped enough, you felt a bit calmer, but still very scared. You looked at your partner, who nodded and gave you and encouraging smile.

You looked at your Father again, took a deep breath and then tried to not look so scared. He admired your urge to try and act fearless, but he knew how spooked you are, so he didn’t understand, why you steeled yourself so.

“Pa...I never courted a man.”

Relief and confusion rushed through him at that. No one hurt his little girl, then why were you so scared and here with your friend ?

“Then why are you so spooked, mon petit (My little one) ?”

“I...I said I never courted a man...I didn’t s-say that I was-wasn’t courting someone though, Papa...”

Your hands were clammy and sweaty, the urge to run, cry and vomit was so strong. But SHE grounded you. Your Lover grounded you. This was your Dad. He was always there for you. He might understand... You hoped.

“Then who are you courting, Cher ?”, Alastor asked a bit confused.

You took another deep breath, griped your partner’s hands tighter in your own, sat up straighter pushing your chest out a bit to try and show your confidence and gave your Father a determined look. He was surprised by how strong you try to be now, as if he will yell at you any second.

“Papa...You wanted me to introduce you to my beloved. I introduce you to my Lover. Her name is GF/n and she makes me happy.”, you blurted out, looking from her to your Father again.

His eyes were wide, his smile closed. His eyes swapped from you over to your Lover, then back to you. He looked at his Coffee.

“Am I really drinking Coffee right now ?”, he asked himself.

“You are, Papa. I’m serious.”, you told him, voice a bit weaker, lacking some confidence.

He looked at you again and your Lover.

“How long has this been going on ?”, he asked you, his voice a bit...off sounding.

You started to freak out on the inside, your confidence falling apart. He didn’t take it well, did he ? He is angry... He will kick you out. He will yell. He will shout. He will disown you. He will-

Your Lover squeezed your hand gently and you looked at her. She gave you her charming smile again, nodded gently and flicked her eyes from you to your Father, motioning you to answer him.

“We...we have b-been together fo-for...6 w-weeks.”, you stuttered out.

Alastor looked at you and set his Coffee down, not drinking it at all. He leaned forward.

“How did it start ?”, he asked.

“I-it started as an ex-experiment, r-really. We-we didn’t ex-expect the re-results...”

“Cher, stop stuttering so much. Now, tell me what experiment that was.”, he pressed.

He was actually curious, but his little girl was such a mess. Maybe he sounded a bit...cross ? He really didn’t mean to come off like that, but he was still processing all of it and he wanted to know everything, to see if you were forced into this or not.

You suddenly clammed your mouth shut, looking away, scared. You couldn’t say it, you weren’t brave enough. You tapped your Lover’s thigh gently, telling her to tell him. You were unable to.

She looked at your Father and lifted her hand softly, catching his attention.

“If I may...Y/n’s nerves are all over the place, which made her shut down on us. If you wish, I can tell you how it happened, what the experiment was about, Sir. Only if you wish to. Y/n...she is very nervous and scared.”, your Lover said.

He crooked his head to a side.

“Why would she be nervous and scared ?”, he asked.

“Well Sir, as you may know...not many approve of people like us. I tried to encourage her that you won’t be angry with her. I mean...she told me many stories about you and they were all good, you two barely argued about serious matters, you protect her from many things, you help her out with many things, which she returns as a favor and more. I tried to tell her that you most possibly won’t disown her, for being attracted to the same gender. Now that the cat is out of the bag, she is afraid what your reaction will be.”

He leaned back into his armchair and looked at you. So you were scared that he will yell at you...or worse. He sighed gently and looked at your partner, gesturing for her to tell him what the experiment was about. She nodded.

“Your daughter noticed small signs of her...sexual attractions. She was never interested in men, which she found odd, because no matter what type of man walked up to her, she found no interest or appeal in them, but with women...it seemed different. Quicker heartbeat, stuttering, finding interest in some women, finding them pretty in a different, less appropriate way...you name it. One day she met me and she wanted to experiment around with me. I work in a small bar and some knew that I was just like your daughter, not interested in men, but women. She heard about it and she found interest in me, so she asked me if I would be willing to help her in her own experiment. I agreed and we started to go out together a few times, each time it was beautiful. The more we continued her experiment, the more we fell in love with each other, until she asked me, formally, if I would do her the honors to court her. She was so shy and adorable about it too, some flowers, a package of chocolates and a small handmade scarf. I said yes and we have been courting formally for 6 weeks now.”

Alastor looked at her very interested as he heard her side of the story. You smiled gently at the memory, blushing slightly. Your Father noticed, but decided not to point it out. His smile didn’t drop, but it was a bit more genuine. He looked at you again.

“Cher, how long have you known, that you were interested in women ?”, he asked gently.

You wiggled around on the couch, uncomfortable.

“W-well, with all the signs I had...I suspected it already. If we would go only after the time I assumed this case, then it would be three years by now. When it was fully confirmed...since three months now. I experimented around with GF/n for two months, before I asked for her courtship.”, you answered, still awaiting his shouts and anger.

You were surprised as you heard your Father chuckle in amusement. You looked at your Father and saw his genuine smile, warmth and love in his eyes.

“Now, Cher, why would you ever assume that I would yell at you, for finding Love ? It may be frowned upon in the open, but for Heaven’s sake, if you love her, then you love her. What’s the big fuss about anyways ?”, he said with warmth in his voice.

“Wait...so you...you support me ?”, you asked with shyness.

“Indeed I do ! If she makes you happy, then who am I to stand in your way of your Love life, Cher ? You may be my child, but I am not controlling your life and what you fall in love with. Look at me, Cher ! I am not even married, never found the right one for me ! Hahaha !”

A big smile grew on your face. Your Lover smiled happily as she saw you light up, which also made your Father smile wider. He stood up and opened his arms for you.

“Come here, mon petit.”, he said.

You got up and ran into his arms, hugging your Papa tightly. He wrapped his arms around you too and swayed a bit back and forth, something that comforted you all the time. Happy tears escaped your eyes.

“I love you so much, Papa. You are the best.”, you said into his chest.

He smiled warmly at that and looked at your partner. He opened one of his arms and smiled gently.

“Come on, join in !”, he encouraged her.

She got up and joined into the hug. You felt so full with love and affection from the two people that meant the world to you.

“But just so you know, GF/n...you hurt my little Angel and you will have to answer to me.”, Alastor threatened.

Just because your Lover is a woman, doesn’t that mean he will be nice, if she breaks your heart. He will kill her and you knew that. You knew that you had to make sure you can trust her with that information, so she won’t spill. Because if anything happened to either of you, your Father would make sure they will be dead.

She would find out eventually, so you needed to make sure that she can be trusted with this.

Alastor would look after you and your Lover.

He fully supports you two.

If you would ever want to marry, he would give his blessing.

If the two of you ever argue and you tell your Dad, he will try to help you both sort everything out. He would calm you down and then talk with your beloved, to try and get you two back together and whoever was in the wrong, would get a scolding from him.

Your Father would never force you to marry a man for reputation, status or anything else, not even to cover up your relationship with your beloved.

If someone ever forces themselves on either of you, he will kill them, you just need to tell him.

If anyone finds out about it and wants to use it to their advantage to break you two apart, soil your names or even force one of you to marry them and have children, he will murder them in the most brutal way possible.

He will never arrange marriages with anyone for your hand, no matter what. He rather dies.

If anyone that was close to him knows about your sexual attractions and tells Alastor, he would kill them, after proudly admitting that he knew and supported it. He only left those alive, that didn’t mind it and were happy for you, just as he was.

He would fully support you and your significant other to adopt a child, if you two felt ready for it. He would even gladly help you two out.

At some point the three of you would sit down and Alastor would confess with you that he was the Bayou Killer.

Your Lover would swear secrecy and help if they needed it, after hearing that Alastor only killed those that deserved it. She also might have admitted that she already knew with the few kills that happened to certain men that harmed the both of you.

After Alastor would die, the two of you would continue his work and keep your children safe, if you have any. Otherwise it is to protect each other and other people that were innocent and would get tainted otherwise.

When the two of you die and land in Hell, you would actively hunt down your Father, while he did the same. His Father senses would immediately pick up on your arrival in Hell and he would start a search party.

You would all happily live together and catch up on what you missed from one another’s lives. You three would never split again and Alastor would help the both of you to become Overlords.

Hell Version:

You had no idea that you were lesbian, when you were alive. You just always believed what your Father told you. That you hadn’t found “The right one” yet, like him. But it was so much more complicated.

If you thought back to the past, you should have realized it way sooner. How you felt drawn to other females, how you were suddenly such a mess when you talked to a beautiful woman. You never felt attracted, nor interested, in men when you were alive. Yu thought you were straight, but actually...you were homosexual.

Just to make sure, you started to date a Demoness, behind your Father’s back. After all....what would he think of you, if you got together with a Demoness ? A darn woman ? You didn’t really wanted to find out.

The Demoness you dated was beautiful. She was caring, loving and sweet to you too. She didn’t give a fuck who you were to the public, nor who your Father was in public. Sure, she was hesitant when you approached her and told her about who you were and who your Father was, but she still accepted to help you with figuring your sexual attractions out.

The more you two bonded, the more you two fell in love with one another. You shared stories with her about your Father, which made him sound like an absolute Sweetheart in private, so she was more intrigued to meet him one day, than scared. You said you want to keep it a secret from him, which she softly agreed to, seeing your worries. But...all things must come to an end... Which lead you to a few months later.

You never told your Father, you were sneaking around. The two of you worked in the Hazbin Hotel and you would usually just sneak out at night, when the Hotel was closed, without your Father interrogating you.

You were scared beyond belief, by just thinking of telling him that you are a lesbian. He accepted Charlie and Vaggie as a pair, sure, but none of the two were HIS kids. You were his Daughter and he probably expected better of you, than to fall in love with the same gender as you.

Who was your Father ? Alastor, the Radio Demon.

You knew that your Father was an Ace, or better an AroAce, you found that out a while ago with Rosie by your side. He was never straight. He was Aromantic and Asexual, which, honestly, didn’t help you to be brave enough to tell him that you were Homosexual. It actually made it even harder.

Your Dad doesn’t even know he was an AroAce and he still had no idea what that term even meant. Rosie told him only once that he sounded like and AroAce and he asked her what that was supposed to mean. She never elaborated and you felt awkward telling him, so you didn’t.

The day had been stressful and you were already looking forward to sneaking out that night, just to see your Lover, GF/n. You just wanted to cuddle with her and tell her all about your stressful day, then fall asleep in her arms.

It was 1 in the morning ad you decided to leave. You left your room and tiptoed through the halls, to the stairs, tiptoed downstairs and then to the front door. You left quickly and quietly. You didn’t use your powers, because your Dad would have picked up on it and then could have tracked you down.

What you didn’t know, was that you weren’t as sneaky as you hoped. Alastor knew you were sneaking around at night and that night he sent his shadow after you, to spy, while he read a book in his room. He was concerned what you did at this unholy hour and why you didn’t tell him.

You walked for a while, until you were in Zestial’s turf. Then you stopped at a house and climbed through an open window, landing in the living room. You looked around and then closed the window gently, sneaking into the hall and then up the stairs, stopping at a door, opened it and entered. Inside the room, was your Beloved, reading a book. She stopped reading and looked up, smiling happily as she spotted you, which made you smile brightly too.

She closed her book, put it on her nightstand and got up. She rushed over and hugged you tightly, which you returned.

“Love ! How are you ?! You are late, I was worried you won’t come over today !”, she chirped, happily.

You chuckled and squeezed her gently.

“My Father was a bit longer than usual in the main Lobby and I can’t use my Magic to sneak off, he would track me down, Love. I’m so sorry.”, you answered her.

“It’s okay ! So ? How was your day ?”, she asked and lead you to her bed to sit down, next to her.

You groaned.

“Stressful. I don’t know how Father managed today, honestly ! Charlie had us all running around like headless chicken and the new exercises she wanted to do, were so many at once and so chaotic ! To top it all off, Pentious’ egg boiz blew holes into the ceiling and almost destroyed the roof ! Angel decided to get so wasted that he kept bothering my Father, who was close to blow a fuse and Vaggie is still staring daggers at me, because I am brutally honest with Charlie ! To end my charming day, I was left with a lot of paperwork, from Vaggie, for talking her Girlfriend down, even though I just tried to help and be honest ! It was the double amount my Father had gotten !”, you complained.

Your Lover frowned at that and started to sit behind you, massaging your shoulders, who were stiff and tense. You sighed and hummed, as she tried to loosen up your muscles.

“That really didn’t sound good. Nor is that Vaggie fair. She needs to understand that her partner also needs harsh reminders about reality. She is the Princess of Hell, but she is way too kind to get anywhere. She isn’t using her authority, nor her Power to make people stop seeing her as a joke. Coddling her won’t help her.”, your Beloved said gently.

“That is what I told her TWICE this week ! She doesn’t give a fuck ! Everyone is making fun of Charlie and she still coddles her, instead of telling her to be a bit more aggressive ! If this continues then they can shut down the Hotel entirely !”, you groaned.

She continued to massage your sore muscles and hummed gently.

“How is your Dad fairing, Love ?”

“He is managing better than me, I can tell you that. I was about to blow a fuse as Vagatha threatened me with her spear and cussed at me in Spanish. He was just so close to blow one today, that he decided to hide in his room and get to work on the papers, he is assigned to. Sometimes I am at a loss that he can still keep his smile up ! In his eyes stood pure annoyance today, while in mine was rage to see that I barely kept at bay ! Honestly, at this point I am unsure if I want to keep helping ! I just get backlash anyways !”, you scoffed.

Your Lover hugged you tightly from behind, calming down your boiling anger.

“I feel so bad for you two, Love.”, she said softly.

You sighed.

“There is not one day where we have some peace and quiet. How am I supposed to come up, with a speech, like that ?”, you said in defeat.

“You actually plan to tell him ?”, your Beloved asked you gently.

“I can’t hide this from Papa forever. I am surprised that I got away until now. But I have zero time to ready myself for the possible heartbreak I will go through.”, you muttered out.

She let go of you and kissed your neck.

“I think he will accept you still, even if you are...different.”, she tried to cheer you up, “After all, he accepts Vaggie and Charlie too, right ?”

“Hun, that is different.”

“How so ?”

“Vaggie and Charlie are not his children. I am his Daughter and I feel like I will disappoint him, when I tell him that I know now....why I was never interested in men. Yes, my Papa can be very laid back about a lot of things, mostly when it is me. But that doesn’t mean that he is alright with everything that I do and say. You have to remember that we lived in the 1920s, he lived through the late 1890s until the early 1930s, while I lived in the late 1910s to the late 1940s. Anything besides being straight was heavily frowned upon back then. Either you were straight, or you were a dysfunctional human being to the society.”, you reminded her.

“And you think your Dad will hate you for being...you ? He is an AroAce, that is what you said, with the Overlord of Cannibal Town, Rosie.”

“Cher, he has no idea what an AroAce even is.”

“Wait...none of you told him ?”, she asked in shock.

“Rosie didn’t elaborate, hoping he would research the terms himself, now that he has a label on him that he doesn’t know the meaning of and it was too awkward to me, to tell him. He always thought that he just didn’t find the right person. Imagine his world falling apart when he finds out that he was AroAce the whole time. I didn’t want him to have a breakdown about it. I can only imagine how sad he would be.”

“Now, now. Just because he is AroAce, doesn’t that mean he is incapable to be happy.”

“I know, but...at some points he HATES being different from others. I know so. I was there and at nights he thought I was asleep, he was crying. GF/n...he was hurting often and hid it behind a smile. Earth wasn’t kind to him...nor is Hell. He tries to hide it, but I know his big heart. I know that he is hurting even more and I am worried about him. He is my Papa, I love him very much. I hate to see him hurting so much.”

She gave you a sympathetic look and then a kiss on your cheek. You looked away and took a deep breath.

“As much as he would HATE to hear it...I wish he would have gone to Heaven after death. Heaven would have been kinder to him, he could have reunited with Grandma and...he would be carefree now. Here in Hell...he has to be the opposite. Hide behind smiles, show no weaknesses, be coldhearted...All this...isn’t my Papa. He is a very kind soul, but he can’t show it. And I hate that so much. He is always full of worries and fears, but he never lets anyone know. Not even me. It frustrates me, because I can see the pressure he is trying to carry on his own shoulders, all alone. He refuses help and he tries to do everything alone. He is going under in all the stress he tries to hide, he is suffering so much from it that it makes him a little crazy. I have no idea how to help him out.”, you vented.

“Have you ever asked him ? Spoken about these matters ?”

“I tried. Every time he avoids the subject ! He shuts down as soon as I try to get him to talk to me, so I can help and don’t have to watch, helplessly, how he slowly falls apart !”

Alastor’s smile was small and strained. You knew that he was very troubled. He thought he hid it well from you. He should have known that you could read him easily. After all, you grew up around him, as his Daughter.

But now a lowlife Demoness knows this too, the one you vented to. That won���t do...

He still didn’t pick up on you being Lovers. He couldn’t look through his shadow’s eyes, only listen in. He had to go and kill her when he has time.

“I tell you what. Tomorrow, I will come over to the Hazbin Hotel for a visit. You and I will tell him together about you....issue and then we try to make him open up about his own problems. It is not healthy to carry all your troubles on your own. You always need others to be stronger. Your Pa is making himself an easy target. The mind is a fragile thing, even down here.”

“Are you sure that he won’t...hate me ?”

“You told me so many stories about him and what a Sweetheart he can be in private, that I am determined to say that he won’t hate you. I am 100% sure he will still love you.”

Alastor tuned out after that, already planning her death, while the two of you made out and then decided to go to sleep.

-The next day-

You teleported back to the Hazbin Hotel, appearing in your room, after you gave your Lover a kiss. Venting to her yesterday helped you immensely. You took deep breaths, to calm down and then got ready for the day.

Charlie had you running some errands to get food stocked up, which took you a few hours. As you returned you were just informed that Charlie needed you to fill out important formulas for the Hotel, as the door opened. Everyone turned to the door in the Lobby and saw your Beloved.

“Oh my gosh ! A new guest ! Hello, I’m Charlie ! Do you want to get rehabilitated ?!”, she swarmed your Beloved and not letting her come to word.

“Actually, she is here to visit me.”, you said, coldly, to Charlie, not liking her hands on your Lover’s shoulders at all.

Charlie’s smile dropped and she sulked a bit.

“Oh...”

You approached them and pulled her into your embrace, giving Charlie a possessive glare, as you held your Beloved.

“Mine.”, you said.

Your Lover blushed and smiled brightly.

“Hun, please....”

“As if she would be willingly with you ! You are an Overlord and the Daughter of the Radio Demon ! You don’t have a heart that shows love ! What did you do to her ?!”, Vaggie accused and you glared at her, tightening your grip on your Beloved.

Your Partner glared at Vaggie.

“How about you shut your mouth, before I shut it for you, Vagatha ? Don’t you DARE to speak to me Beloved in that way !”, she snarled in anger.

Everyone stared in utter shock at the two of you. You smiled happily and kissed her cheek. As soon as you two parted from one another, your Father appeared in the Lobby. You looked at him in nerves, while your Lover kept a cool head.

“What is all this commotion about ?”, Alastor asked with a laughing track.

“Vagatha was a bitch towards your Daughter, is all, Sir.”, your Lover answered him politely, still glaring at Vaggie.

He looked at Vaggie.

“Is that so ?”, he asked dangerously calm.

Then he turned to your Lover again.

“And who might you be ?”

“My name is GF/n, a pleasure to meet you, Sir.”

“The pleasure is all mine ! The name’s Alastor, the Radio Demon !”, he greeted back happily.

Until now it seemed to go just swell. You cleared your throat.

“Papa...can we talk in private ? You, GF/n and I ? It is...urgent.”

“Why, of course, mon petit !”, he said happily and then teleported the three of you to his Radio Tower.

“So, what do you want to talk about, that is urgent ?”, he asked you.

You wrung your hands in nerves.

“W-well....you remember when we talked about my disinterest in men, when we were alive ?”, you asked nervously.

“I do, indeed ! I said you just didn’t find the right one yet ! Why ? Have you found him ?”

“W-well...it’s more...complicated, Papa...”

He cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“Oh ?”

“You see...I am...not straight...?”

Now he got nervous. What do you mean you are not straight ? He knows you meant that you aren’t Heterosexual, but what are you then, why are you so scared to tell him ?

“Continue...”, he said, his voice softer.

“I never noticed the signs when I was alive, Papa. I found it all out here in Hell and GF/n helped me to figure it all out. Along the process...we fell in Love and it had been going on for months now, we trust each other deeply, so please don’t be mad when I tell you that she knows about you a bit. I always snuck off at night, because I was scared you will be angry with my sexual orientation, so I wanted to keep it a secret until I knew how to approach you. The Hotel didn’t make it that easy and GF/n offered to support me today to tell you, because I vented to her all my worries yesterday and all my stress and Iamalesbian !”, you quickly ranted out, too nervous to speak calmly.

There was a deadly silence in the room, after you finished. Your Father was trying to catch up with everything you just ranted out so quickly. As his brain caught up with what you just confessed to him, there was a loud record screeching sound and he stared at you in shock.

“You are a WHAT ?!”, he asked in shock.

He wasn’t angry, just shocked that you found it out earlier than he did. He didn’t even know until now. You flinched.

“I...I am a Lesbian...Homosexual...”, you got out shakily now.

Your Father sprung up and rushed to you, before you could react and hide somewhere, he pulled you to his chest into a almost bone crushing hug, which shocked and surprised you.

“Oh, Cher, those are such WONDERFUL news ! You finally figured yourself out ! I’m so proud of you !”, he said happily.

“Wait...you...aren’t mad ?”, you asked in awe.

“Why would I be, mon diable (My Devil) ?! These are the best news I have ever heard ! You found love, my Dear ! And you found out your taste ! Who cares if you like the same gender ?! Why were you so afraid to tell me that ?”, he asked, his real voice coming out.

“W-well...we both lived in times where it was heavily frowned upon... I thought you wouldn’t be happy with me and so...I was too scared to tell you. I feared you would disown me...”, you said softly.

“Mon petit diable (My little Devil), I would never disown you, for being yourself. You don’t have to hide anything from me, Cher.”

He then looked at your Lover.

“Can I be assured that you won’t use anything you know against us ?”, he asked her.

“I would never want to hurt my Beloved. I love her with all my soul.”, she told your Father.

He hummed.

“Alrighty then. I am glad that I don’t have to kill you then, for knowing too much.”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaad !”, you moaned out annoyed.

“I had to make sure that she knows that she isn’t safe just because you two are courting.”, he defended himself.

“Don’t chase my Lover away, Papa !”, you scolded and smacked his right arm, playfully.

He chuckled.

“I would never, mon petit. Now ! Would anyone explain to me what in everything unholy and AroAce is ? And why I am supposed to be one ?”, he asked.

You shifted around uncomfortably.

“I will gladly do so.”, your Beloved answered and you all sat down.

Alastor would be shocked from the news.

He would be delighted to see you finally had a Lover.

Would be happy that you finally figured yourself out.

Would support you.

Alastor would be very protective of you and threaten your Lover that she isn’t safe from him, if she fucks up.

He would keep an eye out on you two.

He would never hate you for coming out to him.

Anyone tries to hurt you two, they will answer to him personally.

If the two of you argue, he will try to find the root of the issue and try very subtly to get you back together.

He would support the both of you through everything and anything.

Alastor would help your Beloved to become and Overlord after she proved herself to be worthy of you, to him.

If you two want a biological child, he will help you two out with his Magic. All he would need is a small doll, crafted to look how you want the child to look like and from each of you a vial of blood, then his Magic would do the rest and you would have a Hellborn child.

He would help you raise your kids and be a great Grandpa.

Alastor would rope Rosie in to be their Auntie. Best friends and all that, plus, Rosie loves kids.

If you want to ever marry, he would give you both the green light, as long as he can lead YOU to the altar !

If anyone has a problem with you two being together, let him know. He will gladly have a snack~

You would warm up to your Girlfriend/Wife and show his softer side to her, just give him time. After all he knows you want her to be treated like Family, he just wants to make sure that she is the right one for you.

He would fool around with your Beloved after he warmed up to her and get very protective of her, just like he was with you.

Alastor would help her out in surprising you with small to huge things.

He definitely would gossip with her about anything and everything, even talk about his past with her.

Your Father would put a lot of effort into getting to know her, her getting to know him and to bond with her.

Best Dad in the world, even if he planned to kill your Lover in the beginning.

A/N: I hope this is good and you won't be mad that I also made a Human Version ! At least then no one can demand for it, because it already exists. *Lol* Two flies with one smack !

Masterlist HERE !

[will80sbyers]

STRANGER THINGS 5 PRODUCTION MASTERPOST

part 002:

February 7 / 2024

The Stranger Things channel on ig posts pictures at the Hawkins memorial hospital : 1 / 2 / 3

February 9 / 2024

A video from the actress that plays Vickie in st5

Bts pictures of Vickie

Bts picture of Robin at the hospital inside room 110, Vickie has scenes at the hospital too

February 15 / 2024

It seems there are some scenes inside a barn at the farm (Robin, Mike and Will are there) / 2

FIRST LOOK AT WILL IN COSTUME !!!!!!!!!! and Robin my beloved + Mike is also there (Finn is taking the picture)

February 16 / 2024

BTS pics of Ross weeks 5-6 - FIRST LOOK AT NANCY!! lovers lake picture, El with the radio station outfit filming some action scene where Hopper's bracelet breaks, a home made tank for El to use with her powers? a drawing of a black shape/arrow?

February 17 / 2024

Bts pics of the vines inside Hawkins lab

Erica and Joyce are filming together

February 19 / 2024

FIRST LOOK AT HOPPER'S BEARD?

February 20 / 2024

It seems they are filming something that involves Castle Byers: 1 / 2

February 22 / 2024

New bts pictures from the radio station and the woods, with a stunt rehearsal of someone being thrown away / 2 / 3

Bts: scene with RED light where maybe Will is involved? / 2

Bts of the vines (video etc): 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

February 28 / 2024

The Stranger Things channel on ig posts this thing on how to make a remote radio head RRH

Some ideas on what it could mean / 2

Steve & Jonathan are involved

March 1 / 2024

New bts pics from Ross of Weeks 7-8 - FIRST LOOK AT LUCAS AND MAX ON SET!!! It seems the date could be the 12 of november 1987 (or 2 of november 1989… it's not clear, both are a Thursday) A picture of Castle Byers in the UD etc

FIRST VIDEO OF MAX AND LUCAS ON SET BTS

March 4 / 2024

Pictures of the Wheeler's home posted by the ST channel on ig… there will be a scene at the Wheelers where they brainstorm stuff about Vecna? or have breakfast/ a meal together?…and someone is eating doritos? (Mike?): 1 / 2 / 3

March 8 / 2024

Mr. Clarke is back on set? the actor posted this

March 13 / 2024

New bts picture of them filming a scene in ep. 4 (the date of filming in the lower right angle of the picture seems to be around feb. 10-13 ) initially I thought it could be a rink o mania vision but I now think it's in Mike's basement: 1 / 2 / 3

VIDEO OF MILLIE (EL) on set making a coffee dressed as El, she has the same costume of the radio station scenes and blood on her nose, indicating an action scene

March 15 / 2024

Ross posts new pictures of weeks 9-10, FIRST LOOK AT HOPPER! + random background details

Picture of the kids in the Party hands posted by Ross 😭❤️❤️❤️

The full picture of Hopper

March 21 / 2024

New pictures from the set they seem to be shooting scenes with the military

March 22 / 2024

Ross posts the FIRST LOOK AT WILL BYERS!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON💞 ( in one of the pictures he seems to be inside the radio station bunker because of a suitcase being there and also radio equipment around, the other picture is at Castle Byers with a new actor playing Young Will so it could be a flashback or a vision or something like that!! ) Jonathan is in that scene too

March 27 / 2024

They start filming at a mansion that's situated at the Smoke and Rise country club in Atlanta. Eleven was there and has a scene screaming so there's some action going on, Will was also seen there later on and he looks like he has make up on like he's experiencing the effect of possessions or not feeling well. Nancy was seen there dressed with something that resembles a candy stripers costume of a volunteer nurse, Steve's car was parked outside with the radio station van and there's an antenna over Steve's car... (my theory now is that in the pre vis something makes the antenna go down into the car for the pressure, like something hitting the car from outside that breaks it)

Still at the mansion we have two stand-in actors that have been seen, one of them seems to be called Derek and he could be either a new character or using a fake name (he kinda looks like Jonathan) and there's also this audition for a kid called Derek...

Pictures of the mansion and the decorations, a dragon, butterflies etc... 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

A look of the entire house, old pictures from Google street

April 2 / 2024

My speculation from the video of the wardrobe of s5, Max could be wearing this jacket at some point during the season

April 3 / 2024

There's the neighbourhood watch at Hawkins

April 4 / 2024

Pictures from the Instagram channel, Karen is having a bubble bath, more flashbacks from the rainbow room and Hawkins massacre and something is being filmed inside the Wheeler's house

April 6 / 2024

Eddie's actor says he knows if Eddie is coming back but he's not gonna say it...

April 7 / 2024

Not sure about this but it could be a new decoration around the mansion

April 9 / 2024

Some new pictures from the filming at the mansion and it seems Joyce and Hopper are there in that scene too, parked outside... There's also a video and the lights make it look like maybe the police is involved!

Millie posted a new old picture of her in character with the vines of the upside down in the background

to be continued...

part 001 / part 003

[artdcnaldson]

helloooo cat ☺️☺️

Since there’s a small community of late bloomer baddies over here (myself included) I thought of a dilf! art AU thats been brewing in my head

Okay so imagine late bloomer reader (maybe like 23ish) who’s not had her first kiss , has no one interested in her, feels dejected and undesirable and very lonely all the time, sick of hearing useless advice, just needs to feel wanted and cared for.

Enter freshly divorced and retired dilf ! Art ,, who just wants to take care of someone, and here’s reader who will positively combust from any amount of attention he pays to her ,, and he just wants to take care of her ,,, and eliminate all her insecurity,,, and corrupt her into the perfect toy for him 🥰🥰🥰 (also I’m not good at writing sex stuff but imagine that there’s a lot of (mean/soft) dom art / sub reader dynamics -, and ropes/cuffs/ toys and the like)

But all that aside, it’s also a weirdly compatible and caring partnership between them ,, they both understand the feeling of being unwanted /second best ,, and art gets the chance of a fresh start , and reader gets a partner who makes her feel safe and wanted

Also u know that theory that if a person feels safe around someone they start getting sleepy around them,, maybe that’s how art figures out that reader feels safe w him,, and then it becomes their thing ,, he’s there to hold her after a long day or just because ,, to rub her back and braid her hair and cuddle her and tell her that he’s here and everything’s gonna be fine and affirm / reassure her UGH and she’s so overwhelmed and cries everytime from how good he is to her ,,,

Wow I’ve no idea what came over me while I was writing this but I hope cat and cat hive can match my freak 🙏

🔮 anon

Ouugghhh I needed this softness rn I’m upset and this is exactly what I yearn for </3

DILF era art 🩷🩷🩷 my beloved

Divorced and lonely bc he doesn’t get to see Lily as often as he’s used to. He’s happy to coparent, he knows that’s important for Lily, but he misses having a house that’s loud and lively all the time. It’s why he thinks he starts dating so quickly. He’s 31 and already crashed out in one marriage, in his career… he needs someone to devote himself to again.

He meets you somewhere so normal— maybe a bookstore where he was buying something to busy his time on a quiet weekend. You’re sitting in the little cafe reading and drinking a coffee, and he thinks you’re so pretty that he can’t help but introduce himself. He’s surprised when you’re surprised by his attention to you, how your eyes widen and you stammer all nervously when he talks to you.

You spend an hour talking about books, about movies you like and how bad the coffee is. The next week you meet to do the same thing. It goes on for a month before you realize that these are dates, that you’re actively pursuing this older man (not a decade older, but close to it). But maybe it makes sense in a way. You never got on with the guys your age, never understood the machinations of dating online and how not to come on too strong and how not to come off as uninterested. Art makes it easy. You’re both on the same page.

It’s a slow build. He kisses you for the first time at your car. He asks if he can, and when you nod he tilts your head up and presses his lips to yours— slow, soft. It’s nice, it’s comfortable. It makes you feel like the years of yearning for someone to sweep you off your feet and be all of your firsts was worth it.

[todostiddies]

Modern Eren Boyfriend HC

Modern AU headcannons of Eren Jaeger (my beloved) and GNReader pt2

*** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ***

Eren likes to stargaze with you. He really enjoys finding all the different constellations or making out shapes of your own with you

The first time he took you on a stargazing date was on the hood of his car, somewhere far from the city lights. He tried to impress you with his knowledge of myths behind constellations (the whole big friend group takes camping tips and Historia and Armin nerd out about the Greek myths behind certain constellations) BUT he ended up forgetting or messing the stories up because he was nervous and so he just made some up that starred a beautiful heroine/hero that was suspiciously a lot like you, and a beautiful, mysterious savior that was a lot like him

Now every time yall stargaze he makes a new story up to add to the saga

As mentioned above, camping trips with the whole gang are SO much fun!!

Connie and Eren try and see who can make the most smores the quickest and then eventually switch to who can eat the most the fastest. This usually ends with both parties cheating as Connie hands Sasha some smores behind his back and Eren starts handing you some as well, and both don't even know they're doing the same thing because they're both too focused on winning AND not getting caught.

Eren will cure your resulting tummy ache with a kiss and a lil belly rub, then lift his shirt and pout for you to do the same and honestly who would say no

He sometimes gets lost in his head or overthinks about your relationship or maybe a shift in your mood, so anytime he gets that way or he knows he messed up, he will call his mom for advice and then Mikasa afterwards, which always ends up on a group call with Armin

He has taken your mom or guardian figure on a "date" at least once, and he pulled out all the stops and was so nervous be could have barfed, but on the surface he turned his charm all the way up and they loved him

He wanted to take them^ on a date after he realized he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life and wanted your family to like him

Babies like him but toddlers are sometimes scared of him??

It's a height thing, he just looks so intimidating and he has a resting RBF for fucking sure. Like to the extreme.

But after one conversation they do that cute kid thing where they pick a person and follow them around whole heartedly copying them and trying to impress them, and it's always going to be Eren.

He gets super into it too and makes sure to lead the kids on cool little adventures and hang out with them and give them some "life advice" which really isn't that deep lol but sometimes it's pretty good but it's always cheesy

He deffo screams like a girl when gaming but if he remembers you are in the room he will clear his throat with a blush and sober up quickly lmao

Bear with me on this one, maybe unpopular opinion but... he reads a book a month

Sometimes two, but never goes a month without at least one book. During high school he had some anxiety and anger issues he had a hard time first getting used to even having, and then managing as time went on with personnel stuff and high school things, so he REALLY hated having time alone where he did nothing

The worst was before bed where he just laid awake and could not sleep :( but then Armin kept going on about this book he was reading, so Eren pirated it online and read it every night before bed. And reading really helped give him something to do in those moments and actually helped him a lot when it came to accepting therapy

So I think he does enjoy reading and even has some reading glasses and likes to read with a warm drink, like hot chocolate or some decaf coffee he made, and likes to read cuddled up in the rain

Will talk to you about his book and his theories, and if an ending pisses him off or was just straight up bad?? You will never hear the end of it, it will literally sour his mood for the rest of the day and every time he thinks about it. And if you're a reader too, then you two have dates where you fill up dinner table conversations just talking about books and go on little book dates once a month too and will often read the same books (like a mini book club, fun!!)

He has annotated a book for you at least once

Going back to the therapy thing, I know a lot of modern headcanons show Eren as super termpental and with a lot of mental health issues too, and though I 100% agree that he was that way in canon, I think Modern Eren would be a lot more happy and chill and even easy-going because he didn't have to deal with all that canon trauma. That being said, I do think high school was hard for him because (in my modern AU at least) that would be when he found out about Zeke and his dads other family, which even his mom didn't know about...

His dad had a past marriage and son that didn't work out and he had an opportunity to leave for work and so he just did. It is his greatest shame and regret so though he sent money to them every year, he never wanted Eren or Carla to find out. But eventually Carla tracked the money and they found out. So in his high school years, Eren hated his father and even hated the other family like it was their fault too for all the drama in his. His parents verged divorce and he felt him and Mikasa growing apart as she crushed on Jean (they still were SUPER close and once he told them about everything going on the three of them grew even closer) and Armin was super academically busy and didn't have a lot of free time either. So because of all of this, I feel like Eren did struggle with some anger issues, depression, anxiety, and overall teenage angst during this time.

But, eventually him and his family went to therapy and they met with the other family and they eventually moved closer and Eren and Zeke ended up becoming good brothers yay

Speaking of, he gushes to Zeke about you ALL of the time

He has a strained relationship with his Dad, but he is A MAMAS BOY of course

He is very open with you about his past and his family situation and everything he felt and went through. It is easy for him to let you in on things that he has already processed and been through, but sometimes harder to fully open up about more recent things

He gets all the tea on everybody from specifically Armin, Mikasa, Sasha , Connie and Historia (the gossiping queens). Every time the gang gets together they are dishing out everyone's dirty laundry and tea and Eren brings it back to you boiling hot and he makes you both a cup of something warm while you sit on the counter nodding along with your mouth open

He loves getting your reactions so much, and you two always end up gossiping just as much and laughing, and since he loves your reactions so much he sometimes plays out his reaction to the particularly juicy parts for you too I don't condone gossiping but I also recognize it as fun and socially bonding lmao but be nice about it okay

He gives you a bite of everything he eats no matter how large or small the portion and even before you ask. He will also give you a sip of whatever he is drinking too, and if you like it more than him or are more thirty or hungry he always ends up either giving it to you or splitting it

He went through a phase where a got a slushi every single day, didn't matter what time (though he usually liked them best after school or the gym or super late at night like 3am when he can't sleep) He still likes to have them a couple times a month now

Will go on late night drives with you, driving slow with the windows down, crickets from outside and the radio playing, it's just so nice and always makes you both smile. He watches you more than the road but is a VERY safe driver, especially with you

That being said, he will also speed up to very illegal speeds at least once (on completely deserted and safe roads) just to hear you squeal and laugh

Likes when you fall asleep in the car. He will drive on the wrong side of the road or in the other line to avoid any kind of speed bumps or risks to your slumber, skips songs that are too noisy or shocking, avoids potholes at all costs, and will take the longer route home. He also gets a little distracted every time you snore or just from admiring you because you look too cute asleep like the lil passenger princess you are

Has done donuts in the car with you a couple times late at night in an empty parking lot and he LOVES the way you laugh and howl into the night while the engine nearly drowns out everything else

That's all for now, but I have more to say soon!

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed it!!

pt2

[avelera]

Interesting Characters Do Things the Reader Wouldn't Do

I've been thinking a lot about what makes an interesting character. As a topic, the variety of answers and strategies to creating interesting characters could be literally endless. But one element I've been dwelling on is based on observation of how characters who fascinate and delight us are the ones that do things in ways that we, the audience, generally wouldn't do them.

I'm thinking about this from two angles:

How to make characters who do things the average person wouldn't do (in an interesting way).

Why derivative works like fanfic often experience character drift, where over time, the character who does unusual things and has unique reactions in canon drifts away from having these unique characteristics, and becomes increasingly generic and/or like the author.

Let's address Point 1 first. The way to make a character who does things in an unusual manner is, in theory, to make a unique environment and/or a unique character (bonus points for both).

For example, a unique environment is core to many exciting fictional narratives. Most of us don't have to grapple with what we would do, for example, if we were faced with a Bad Guy Who Wants to Destroy the World That Only We Can Stop.

Or, on a less "epic" level, most of us on average don't have to deal with, say, the whacky hijinks that formulate the meet-cute in a romcom, even the more mundane ones like spilling our coffee all over a beautiful stranger and scrambling to make it right, leading us to the love of our lives. These in general are not daily occurrences, so it's immediately interesting to see how the character would handle the situation, even if they do so in a sort of "average" way.

For example, in my mind, the "average" way you respond to a Bad Guy Who Wants to Destroy the World That Only We Can Stop is to step up to stop the bad guy. If you're really the only one who can Stop the Bad Guy, I think the all of us would at least like to think we would accept this challenge, especially if The Fate of the World was objectively, provably, at stake.

Now, I think with this example, creative types can spot the issue right away. The hero who heroically does what we average people hope we would do in such a crazy scenario, step up and help save the world, is actually really boring.

Your typical Good Guy Protagonist who does the Typical Thing when faced with this Very Generic Plot is really goddamn dull. There's a reason these heroes who help propel their Gang of Heroic Misfits to actually Fulfilling the Plot and Saving the World are usually saddled with a Comedy Relief Character and at least one person who voices misgivings (usually with some degree of sarcasm or humor) about the risks involved with volunteering to save the world.

Han Solo in Star Wars, Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, are beloved characters because they don't leap to Save the World and Fulfill the Plot. Instead, they do unexpected, unique things. They're in it for themselves and that colors their reactions away from generically Doing the Right Thing. They want things like money, or safety, or more rum. They want less impressive human things that we can nonetheless relate to, and they pursue those things with a level of style and humor that the protagonist, like Luke Skywalker or Will Turner, are not necessarily afforded as our generic Audience Stand-In/Hero because their job as The Hero is to go on a hero's journey, increase their skills over time so they can learn things and strive at the same pace as the plot progresses and, in general, are saddled with Fulfilling the Plot.

Now, that doesn't mean the main hero/protagonist always has to be boring. It is possible to have a protagonist tasked with Saving the World who isn't boring. But this requires they address the problem in a way the average person wouldn't. This doesn't necessarily mean rejecting the call to save the world, by the way. What it often means is going about saving the world in a way that is unique to them or that shows a unique understanding of how to respond to the threat, in perhaps a more subtle or roundabout way other than just going the most obvious direct route.

One way to figure how to make a hero who goes about Fulfilling the Plot in a more interesting way is by making them want something in addition to their desire to save the world.

For example, Newt from Pacific Rim, the Kaiju-obsessed scientist (while not technically the hero of Pacific Rim's A Plot, I see him as the protagonist of the B Plot) wants to save the world, obviously, he's one of the idiots who lives there. Everyone in the story of Pacific Rim, particularly those in the Shatterdome, want to save the world, that's a given. How they go about it is what makes them unique. What they want in addition to saving the world makes them unique. Newt wants to study Kaiju and is obsessed with them on a level that is comparable with his drive to save the world. This colors how he goes about saving the world, by sticking to his specialty of studying and understanding Kaiju.

While the most obvious way to save the world in Pacific Rim is to jump into a giant robot and go punch Kaiju, which is what our A Plot protagonist Raleigh Becket does (and he is, apologies to his fans, a bit boring as a result), Newt's B Plot protagonist way of going about this shows that the problem is bigger than one hero offering one simple solution can provide, which helps expand the world and the scale of the threat. And there are many interesting (arguably more interesting) ways to address this threat than being the butt-chinned golden boy jumping in a giant robot to offer the most direct solution to the problem. As a result, to me at least, Newt is a more interesting protagonist, because his entire personality isn't based on the most obvious, direct way to Accomplish the Plot (like Raleigh's is). Instead, he wants and likes other things too, specifically Kaiju, and thus he goes about Accomplishing the Plot in a less generic way that includes his special interest.

To go back to the romcom example, likewise, just to show that an epic plot isn't necessary to accomplish an interesting character, I think it can safely be said that the average, generic thing that your average sane human being would do if they accidentally spilled coffee on a beautiful stranger (thus kicking off the romcom) would be to apologize and help them clean it up.

That is, as noted, boring as hell. Because it's what anyone would do, by the way, what anyone should do in this circumstance.

Fiction doesn't need to be an object lesson. We know the script of what should happen in this scenario, so we are immediately interested if it's not what happens.

The manic pixie dream girl who, instead of simply apologizing and helping to clean the spill, instead grabs the protagonists' hand, rushes them out the door and declares they're being chased by spies, quick, come with me we have to hide! all out of an attempt to help the protagonist get out of the embarrassing situation so she can help them clean up somewhere else is at least slightly more interesting than the average polite response. If we dig into it to find out why she came up with such a bizarre response to helping someone clean up, instead of doing the generic thing, we begin to unlock a more intriguing character. Maybe her therapist just told her get out of the rut she's in by treating her life as an adventure and she took the advice a bit too literally. Why was she in therapy? Well, presumably we'll find that out as the story progresses, but at least now we've got a hook to wanting to know more (how effective such a hook would be is up to you).

TL;DR Characters who go about Fulfilling the Plot in a way the average person wouldn't, because they want something else just as much if not more, is an immediate recipe for making a more interesting character.

Now, Point 2, the character drift back to the center is also worth examining. I see it happen quite frequently, both in individual fanfics, in ongoing mainstream franchises, and in fandoms in general. This isn't quite the same as Flanderization, wherein complex characters get boiled down to simplistic reads of their crazier attributes. Rather, what I'd like to look at is when unique characters do the opposite, and increasingly act and behave the way the average person would. Or rather, the average person who matches the demographic and community of the writer.

An example that springs to mind is when a complex, indeed, Problematic character begins to open up about their emotions in fanfic, and speak and act in line with the most cutting edge progressive terminology, or in general talk about their emotions like they're a therapist. Characters who would rather die than show weakness in canon suddenly saying things like, "I'm sorry I got angry with you, I realized it's because of unresolved issues with my father and also, I am attracted to you, which made me self conscious about my appearance when I am around you. Please accept my sincere apologies. Perhaps we can discuss our relationship and consider becoming romantic partners?"

Obviously I'm exaggerating here (unless the character is an android). But while really no one in the real world talks like this, I'm going to refer back to the Saving the World example about how the generic thing we wished we would do when faced with such a conflict is actually the most boring response for a character.

We all hope, I think, that if we hurt our romantic partner's (or romantic prospect's) feelings, we would find the courage to apologize, explain ourselves, and do so in a way that was dignified for us and effective with them. How to do that is another question. What to do when we have imperfect knowledge is a question. What we do when we want something else more is a question and with characters, it's the more interesting question.

Perhaps the protagonist wants to apologize and would love to find a way to be romantically involved with their love interest, but they have no reason to believe the apology would be accepted, their dignity would remain intact, or that revealing the truth would culminate in a relationship rather than a painful rejection. Now you begin to have conflict, which is the stuff stories are made of. If the protagonist wants to save face more than they're willing to risk that rejection, instead of apologizing they may have a more tsundere response (often seen in fiction) of just getting more angry, or blaming their anger on the love interest for frazzling them, or finding a way to avoid the situation entirely because it's scarier than communicating openly.

TL;DR - The most morally upright, correct, and laudable response to an interpersonal conflict is probably the more boring one (unless it is somehow earned as a novelty by the narrative). People are complicated. Interesting characters are even more complicated than real life people. Lean into that.

Now, here are some reasons I think you see this sort of character drift towards the milquetoast in derivative works:

Fanfic is about fulfilling the need for something that isn't in canon. That's often its entire purpose. So of course characters who would rather die than communicate begin to communicate, and communicate well and transparently. That's the itch the author is trying to scratch for themselves and others. It's not a bug, it's a feature.

We all want to be liked. When writers put the character in a situation, and then put themselves in the character's shoes and think what they would do in that situation, there is a tendency towards politeness, appeasement, communication, and mending bridges as our first instinct for what should be done.

To delve into point 2 here a bit, the tendency to want to be well liked and to mend bridges is a good skill in the real world.

But fiction isn't the real world.

I don't really particularly want to read a story where a character does everything I would have done in that scenario, whether it's saving the world or navigating a meet cute. That's boring. I want to see what someone who isn't me would do, so I can live vicariously through them without suffering the consequences personally.

If I as myself met, say, the evil scientist behind a rogue plot to destroy the world, I'm not even sure I'd be able to yell at that person because of how badly I want to be Well Liked. I'd probably just call the authorities (assuming the Evil Scientist isn't allied with them) and remand them into custody and hope they get a trial before facing their just punishment.

That is a very boring way to resolve a conflict with an evil scientist, unless you're Terry Pratchett, making a wider and very important point about the intrinsic value of due process in a moral of the story that is deeply intertwined and well supported by the text. But the point in a Terry Pratchett book where due process is honored would be that due process isn't the easy thing to do in that scenario, it is the more interesting thing to have the hero not turn vigilante, because it's harder and it's an unusual response that not all of us would do in that situation.

There's a great moment in the show The Expanse, where the evil scientist example comes from. One protagonist (arguably the more more boring one, at least at that point in the story) hears the Clearly Very Evil Scientist offering information in exchange for his life. But we all know if the scientist is spared, evil will go unpunished, his evil work might even be continued by the powers that be since it is valuable, the victims to that point will go unavenged, and the Evil Scientist might even make a comeback and regain his freedom and power down the line. But what else can you do? He's the only one who can help. Without his knowledge, the heroes are back at square one. The obvious choice, the only choice for your average person, is to grin and bear it and remand the Evil Scientist over to custody for a fair trial and so valuable information can be gained from him, even if down the line it might lead to more evil.

The second protagonist shoots the Evil Scientist in the head. Right then and there.

It's a shocking moment. It's also an epic moment. It is not something the average person would have done. But it was something that arguably should have been done (in that very unique scenario) with the clear-eyed decision making made by someone who refuses to bend their morals. It's something we all might wish we would do, like save the world, in that scenario but it's done in a unique and interesting way that, more importantly, creates more conflict than it solves. It neatly sidestepped the generic, expectable plot of this Evil Scientist becoming a recurring villain, and instead demonstrated a person who is very different from the average person, demonstrated by how they take an extreme action that therefore made for a better story. Shooter Protagonist did this because he wanted to avenge the victims of this scientist and stop this particular scientist from doing more evil more than he cared about how the information this scientist had might serve the heroes in stopping the overall plot. It solved one long term problem, maybe, by eliminating Evil Scientist, but it created more because now they can't get info out of Evil Scientist and the quest just got harder. But, the victims are avenged. And possibly, we'll never really know, a greater catastrophe was averted by not sparing the Evil Scientist here.

TL;DR: To sum up really, in my eyes, the key to interesting characters in original fiction and fanfiction is to have characters who want to do something other than just fulfill the plot in the most straightforward and logical way possible, whether that plot is saving the world (in the most generic way possible) or whether it's getting their love interest to like them (in the most generic and nice way possible).

Making characters who have other priorities or who want something else just as much if not more (to study monsters while saving the world, or to spice up their life having imaginary adventures while making this other person like you) are instantly more interesting. Layer more of those on and you're well on your way to an intriguing story.

And if you're trying to write good fanfic, take note of all the places where the protagonist does things you wouldn't do in a way you wouldn't do them. Therein, in my opinion, lies the key to interesting characters.

Losing that element and making unique characters act more and more the way we would in the same scenario is what makes them boring over time, it's at the heart of how fandoms can improve some stories (with creativity if they dream up more unique characteristics and adventures than canon does) but can also degrade others to the same cookie cutter stereotypes by polishing away the rough edges of a character until everyone is just Really Nice and never messes up or does anything wrong or unpopular or rude or bigoted that could get in the way of them Fulfilling the Plot (or romance) of the story in the most direct and generic and dull way possible.

[metatronhateblog]

As you all know by now

Metatron is sus af. And if you haven't noticed, or you live under a rock (no judgement here) I'm here to add some interesting things I have noticed as someone so obsessed with this show I can only see in the colors and outlines of Good Omens at any given moment.

Fair warning, the only theories or analysies I see are sent to me by my sister, or appear on my dash (and I don't follow many Good Omens blogs that theorize.) So if any of this has been stated or pointed out before, apologies. I'm trapped in tunnel vision mixed with an aching brain.

This one's a doozy and a conglomeration of stuff that I have noticed that I'm not sure actually hold any significance so hang in there, it's worth it.

SO. Let's dive in.

First things first, lots of different theories going around, not sure I believe a lot of them but am fully willing to indulge, and admire the effort people put it. I'm not a huge fan of the 'Metatron poisoned Aziraphale theory' but I have a feeling this post might possibly give those girlies a little 'W.' We'll see, I have various points to touch on.

Something fucked is going on with Metatron. For starters it's very uncomfortable to me, and hits very strangely that no one recognizes him (except Crowley.) Which is so strange because we previously see Michael, Uriel, Gabriel, and Saraqael all in a meeting with the Metratron about....oh maybe ten minutes prior, not to mention Muriel and Crowley were there witnessing it also??? Hello? Why does only Crowley recognize this person that this group of people have seen (Saraqael and Muriel only moments before at the same time as Crowley.)

So how come Crowley is the only one who recognized him??? Sus to me. Any thoughts as to why cause I have none....

But then things to me seem to get a little weirder. I enjoy playing with audio, cutting out background audio and emphasizing little things that might sounds strange to me. And I went through checking all of episode 6 for any weirdly placed miracle noises or waving of hands, and I came up with three things (one of them was actually from episode 5 though).

1.) There's a miracle noise after Aziraphale asks Metatron what they'll be doing in heaven and Metatron responds with 'It's something we call the Second Coming.' This one, with a lot of back tracking and examining other scenes, I've come to the conclusion is simply the elevator being summoned, though I do find it strange to hear the noise yet not see that miracle happen.

2.) In episode 5, during The Ball ™️, Maggie walks up to Nina who is sitting in a chair and offers a hand to dance. Aziraphale, my beloved, is watching so happily and excitedly from the side while holding a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Right when Nina grabs Maggie's hand there's a miracle noise. I'm not sure if it's part of the overall thing Aziraphale has cast over the bookshop, or if it's him from the side and we once again don't see it...(which feels weird) but it's there. And if it is because of the overall miracle cast over the shop then why don't we hear that sound every time something happens that is effected by said miracle. Something is weird about that one to me, but that's not Metatron related sorry. (Here's a screenshot from the exact moment if anyone is wanting to go looking for it.)

And 3.) My big one. This noise is...so unsettling to me. The first time I heard it I flinched. I still cannot figure out if it's part of the soundtrack or if it is a separate noise that segues into the soundtrack or not. But this one. So when Metatron originally enters the bookshop there is obviously a commotion and then once he gets everyone to leave, he looks at Aziraphale and tells him he wants to speak with him or have 'a chinwag' (weirdly Earth term if you ask me) and then offers Aziraphale a coffee who then takes it and sips it blah blah blah we all know that part. But then Metatron says something...weirder. He mentions that he's also consumed things before...which...makes something about him feel all the weirder. He then again asks Aziraphale to chat with him. Aziraphale hesitates and looks to Crowley who is lounging behind him who tells him to go ahead because the 'day can't get any weirder.'

Immediately following that is where I am horribly sus. Aziraphale looks at Metatron who gives him this kind smile and ushers him forward, and once Aziraphale can't see them anymore, Metatron turns a glare onto Crowley, who I'm not sure if we see him acknowledge this sudden cold change.

But that's not the sus part. In my opinion the sus part is the audio. THE MOMENT his demeanor changes to glare at Crowley. We get this little....noise that sounds like a deep kinda dark little twinkle of some sort (and holy shit I'm screaming over this noise because upon checking the official soundtrack the noise is not there) that sounds like magic is happening. And it just. I have listened to the dark way the soundtrack picks up and listened to it through over and over searching for any more signs of that out of place noise and I CAN'T FIND IT. So because I care deeply and am not going to make you people go hunting for this one, I have a screen recording of the audio clip. I kinda took the audio of an actual miracle noise first (I was using it as my reference) and then all the audio surrounding that noise and reduced it, but kept that noise kinda emphasized by not touching it at all. (My apologies now because my editing audio isn't the greatest, I'm no professional, and I did get the first notes of the soundtrack starting in there too.)

HOLY SHIT????? HELLO???? What was that dark little sound there??? I don't know if anyone else has pointed it out but if you have you're amazing and I love you.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK???? I'm sitting here trying to figure out what that strange little audio blip is right there because if I'm correct and when Metatron tells Aziraphale 'the Second Coming' followed by the miracle noise I believe to be summoning the elevator???? Then what is that sinister little???? Almost miracle sounding noise there???? My goodness.

That being said, I did check through the audio in other places, trying to listen real close (and if anyone else is good with audio and can actually find it, then please share I wanna know) and I heard no miracle noises during their kiss scene or when Crowley gets in the Bentley and the Nightingale starts playing. (Disclaimer that could just be because of my hearing loss, so if it is there and you can isolate it, I'd love to hear.) I tried, I searched endlessly to try and help you guys with your theories but I found nothing. I will say though, a bell tolls very frequently in the show when something significant happens and there's a bell toll right as our beloved angelic beings pull away from their kiss.

Now that I've pointed out the strange little audio things I personally have noticed, I want to move on to more colloquial audio and less background noises.

I wanna talk more along the lines of this post by @meatballlady (sorry for tagging you I wanted to give you credit where it's due.)

After seeing this post and doing a rewatch of the show, I have been working more at trying not to make assumptions and trying to think of the ways different things can be taken.

Well the Metatron says something that I think maybe we should focus more on the different things if could mean???

This thing is said (i believe during Aziraphale's retelling of what the Metatron said to him) but also right after another one of those moments of misinterpreting the meaning of what someone's being said. This happens after Muriel interprets Crowley's 'Us time' to include them.

The line I'm thinking of here is

"I've been idling back on a number of your...previous exploits, and I've seen that in quite a few of them you've formed a de facto partnership with the Demon Crowley. Now if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular, but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend...Crowley...to full angelic status."

Holy shit there's a lot to unpack in that, both for Aziraphale and us. this whole thing could be interpreted multiple ways, I think, and that's why I've included this whole quote rather than just the specific line. It's a lot said in one go with multiple things that are....worded interesting. For a start.

Exploits -

Several different meanings both in the words form as a verb and a noun, and Metatron puts an emphasis on 'previous exploits.' So how is he using the word? Noun meaning bold and daring? Probably not a software tool. What about a verb? 'derive benefit from' is an interesting way to put it. 'Use a situation or person in an unfair or selfish way.' There's plenty of options here. And to say that he is using one specific meaning of the word would be assuming that you know for sure what he's saying. And when it comes down to it, we don't. After all doesn't this season play a lot with the misinterpreting of what someone is saying?

Let's continue.

de facto partnership - is technically an informal arrangement generally for business, formed by two or more parties.

Which is cool, but that's not the emphasized word here. The word Metatron seems to hang on is 'partnership.'

Partnership -

At this point it feels like an almost sterile way to talk about their very clear relationship together. But strange that he hesitates on the word.

The thing I really wanna talk about is

"...restore your friend...Crowley...to full angelic status."

Restore -

Now everyone, Aziraphale included seemed to interpret this as 'reinstate' your friend Crowley. And again it would be very presumptuous to think that it could ONLY mean giving Crowley a position in Heaven next to Aziraphale.

One of those meanings in there says something along the lines of 'to return it to its original condition.' And we all immediately go 'well that would be an angel of course.' But we forget to take the time to realize that...as an angel, Crowley wasn't a demon. He didn't have all the memories and experiences as such. In fact, it feels hinted at throughout this season that Crowley doesn't have all his memory from his time as an angel. And who's to say that if he was restored to angelic status that wouldn't mean wiping him of his memory of his time on Earth? Who's to say that the Metatron isn't implying here that this is another way to make Aziraphale compliant while also keeping him separated from Crowley.

We all know as a team those two will 'raise Earth' for lack of a better term against Heaven and Hell to prevent Armageddon. They are their own side. And I think Metatron knows he has no chance of the Second Coming if those two are still working together.

Who's to say that Metatron wouldn't put limitations or a status quo on the allowances of Crowley returning to Heaven. He can't ensure that Crowley wouldn't cause problems, he can't ensure his trust.

Sorry if all of this has already been said and pointed out, but I personally haven't seen any of it and needed to get it off my chest before I exploded.

[nordarknessdimsthesky]

Having some deep thinky thoughts about how our speech patterns are an amalgamation of the people and places we’ve been around -- the way I say "coffee” outs my geographic region of origin, I sometimes wheeze laugh like my father, I react with “that’s fair” because of one of my college roommates, I say “buckwild” like my chosen fam, I bid people goodbye with “take care” the way a beloved professor often did, even the term “thinky thoughts” as used above has entered my lexicon thanks to new friends. We consciously and unconsciously mimic others’ speech habits to lessen the social difference between communication partners and to show that we like them (look up accommodation theory if you wanna learn more). Something something our idiolects are kaleidoscopes of those who’ve touched us.

[glittering-moonlillie]

Do you have any random headcannon? If yes can you tell us? 🐑

Random Headcanons for the Batboys!

Yes yes yes I love this idea! Here are some random thoughts from my little noggin.

When Damian was younger, he totally would sleep in animal onesies and imitate any new animal he learned about. He totally had a capybara phase where he would dance around like one.

Tim totally recorded that as future blackmail

I have mentioned before that Damian is a bad cook, but I take that back (only partially). The only food he does know how to make are special arabic dishes that his mother taught him. So sometimes if his beloved is feeling especially tired but still wants something from home, he'll roll up his sleeves and make Kabsa!

We all know that Jason is a literature nerd so it would only make sense that he would write gay Nick Carraway and Jay Gatsby fanfiction during his earlier years. No one knows about this except for maybe Alfred.

I am complete stan for nerdy Tim watching X-Files and Psych and Monk and Gravity Falls and such, and creating huge power point presentations explaining the Lebam v Mabel theory (among other such things)

Dick has won Sexiest Man of the Year a few times, perhaps before Bruce himself. The family has the magazine hung up like a museum piece.

Tim exposed Damian to video games such as Pokemon and Animal Crossing and he has been hooked ever since. I like to imagine that Damian prefers softer games like Slime Rancher and Minecraft rather than First Person Shooters or RPG's.

Any batfamily member loves to see their s/o in any of their merch. Especially the more possessive ones. They love the idea of coming home from patrol and seeing you spread out on the bed, passed out and wearing, say a specified hoodie with their branding on it. It probably turns them on, ngl

Dick and Jason really love Disney movies. They could probably cry over the sadder ones.

I want to see Tim have his own coffee brand.