#close enough...? 🤔
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+ bonus real self vs. stardew portrait!! 🌟
#my art#my face#stardew valley#pixel art#artists on tumblr#close enough...? 🤔#sorry i meant to post this last night too - got distracted 🧎♂️#MK/RET
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sometimes i get the very strong urge to write a comes back ??? fic for bakugou but the more i think about it, the more i realize how emotionally taxing and honestly horrifying it would be.
you and bakugou spend a few years in that weird will-they-won't-they stage before you officially start seeing each other seriously, and then it takes some time to adjust to having a pro-hero for a partner — so it's not always easy. until the time goes by and you have a break up scare or two and things finally level out, and you figure out how to talk to each other and you fall into the beautifully warm comfort of just being together, in love.
and then he fucking dies. in a heart-explodey, blind-in-one-eye kind of way.
the two years that follow are just — time passing, like pages in a chapter you can't understand the words to. you know grief in a way you never could have comprehended before, you wonder what it's all for and how you'll go on. you're angry at him for sacrificing his stupid life and angry at the world for taking him from you, but you're so deeply, down to your bones, heartbroken over losing him.
and you're not the only one; more than any of his friends that you see, deku is the one who is there for you the most. calls you daily and pulls you out of bed, makes sure you eat because he knows that's what kacchan would want. lovingly flings out a few gruff insults that make you laugh until you're both crying in your kitchen. it means something, maybe, that you both can just mourn in the presence of one another, without judgement or care.
your relationship gets a little — dependent. not romantic, at least not for you, but it's like you need the other person for the bits of bakugou they hold that you don't. the memories and the laughs and the bad times as well as the good. the secrets katsuki would never tell you, and the tenderness izuku was never shown.
it never gets easier. every day is just another day. if you think about it for too long, it all comes crumbling down. you're almost having to disassociate through your life just to make it, and that's hard when the whole city mourns him, too. but you do it. every single day, even on the worst of them.
izuku calls you a little more than two years after, in the middle of the night.
sounding way too awake and out of breathe, though you don't think that's necessarily out of the ordinary, considering his profession. he's a very hyper-fixation kind of guy; you can only imagine what hobby he's picked up and also mastered in the last 48 hours.
he asks if he can come pick you up from your apartment because he "needs to show you something important" and you agree, even if it doesn't feel like it usually does, when the nights are long and you both need someone to talk to. this feels — urgent. a bit worrisome.
you don't know where he takes you, but he's quiet the whole way there. in an old sweater, hair mussed, bags under his eyes like he really hasn't slept in the last 48 hours.
("stupid flighty fucker," katsuki would say, sometimes, when the weight of the world was weighing too heavily on the number one hero's shoulders, and even if he would huff and puff and grit his teeth, you'd notice him checking his phone more often than usual. taking every phone call that came without hesitation.)
you almost want to tell izuku that, in the car, because that's what you do, that's how you've kept him alive between the two of you; kacchan would make a point to tell you that's not how generators work, in the shitty horror film you and deku go see, that kacchan wouldn't dare sit through.
("no, he would," you argue, solemn as the lights in the theater warm back to life, as it empties. "he would."
and after a long, heavy beat, izuku would agree. "yeah. he would.")
izuku brings you somewhere that's too clinical to be as quiet and as dark as it is: inside, the walls and floors are sterile with anti-septic but the lights are off, in every hallway. the only visibility comes from a small lamp that's in a lobby of sorts, and there is a small handful of people you don't know, at all, already there. waiting.
you say his name in a small, concerned question, and when he takes both his hands in yours, they're warm and too wide and sweaty. his eyes glow, but in a way you don't recognize. everything he says to you is — gibberish, a mish-mash of worry and half-sentences and all the warning bells are going off in your head.
"y-you can't freak out, okay? you have to—i can explain all this when...when the time is right."
"you said that you would give anything to have kacchan back, remember? you said—you would do anything."
"i know this sounds—i know how this sounds, okay? but nothing is impossible!"
"i just need you to trust me."
and up until now, you had no reason not to. but you're not sure when he slept last, or even when he ate last, or why he's muttering things about his quirk, how he and katsuki are connected somehow, in ways he's not able to explain.
or why you can faintly hear the steady beeping of a heart monitor just beyond the only closer door in this wing of the hospital.
#not me actually crying while writing this lmaooo#deku is ✨ delulu ✨ enough for the both of us kahfkaha#no bc the thing is that he comes back and it's the age old question of. what have we done.#but at what *cost*#in my anime world logic for this deku does something something with all for one to bring him back — along with other unspecified stuff — an#bakugou comes back with deku's memories of the last two years 👀#and he can FEEL how miserable deku was without him 🥺 how bad deku felt for YOU 🥺#how weirdly close the two of you got 🤔#does he come back wrong ????? or does bringing him back make YOU wrong ??? 🥺#okay bye for real for real we've been driving all day bye bye#✿ willow writes#✿ thoughts: bakugou
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Anyway yearly reminder for all the perpetually cold girlies out there that i am a human furnace and i am ready and willing to warm you all up😤
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#i’d say there’s enough room for all of you#but SOME people insist that i’m ahem below average height#(probably lies and slander you shouldn’t listen to)#so we might all have to squeeze in really tight very unfortunate#so much close cuddling between us all how will we cope🤔#anyway im probably capable of warming you up to the point that you ALSO get hot#i have many desirable traits clearly😤#im gay and i like sleeping
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i love that the english version of rafayel is so... this cuz thats at least not what he said in the chinese audio
the english translations are very interesting because its def not a 1-to-1 but raf's really adds something to the character
#love and deepspace#恋与深空#l&ds#my chinese isnt good enough to do chn audio and chn text#so for rn i do chn audio and eng text#but maybe i should swap that#and do eng audio and chn text 🤔#anyway im trying to listen closely to the speech
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Also kind of funny how people say i’m quite discreet and don’t talk a lot when i’m afraid i talk too much (maybe too loud or too fast) and afraid i ended up annoyed them. (Can smn explain pls xD)
anyway it’s late i apologize if it doesn’t make so much sense it is late)
#i mean i know teachers have been tellign for years i don’t participate enough in class. sorry i just have nothing to say or don’t want too#also my pseudo/ nickname is literally fantomette aka ghost/ fantôme (feminine nickname) because i’m silencious#and people don’t know where i am (in my own house!) and now apparently i spawn next to people xD#yeah had a nice evening where i talked more with nice acquaintances at schools! and yeah i wonder…#is it a neurodivergent moment 😅#when i’m passion about smt i talk. A LOT. maybe too much. i always reflect how i say dumb things or perhaps ´cut’ too much people#and that i should just shut it and listen#cut = too much intervention/ adding stuff?#so yeah nice suprised i supposed. but yeah if i don’t directly talk to smn or have nothing to say well i listen/ go on my phone/ daydream#i already talk to myself a lot. not ok to do that in public lol#so yeah interesting 🤔 if smn know smt about well that subject could be cool#didn’t have anyone really close so i hang myself to group. but that’s cool re having friends time like earlier today with other cool people#autism adhd ? infj or just well me being me who knows i still don’t know
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also i have acquired a second-hand rolling desk chair (no more wooden dining table chair YIPPEE) and it is old and in slight disrepair but OOOHH ITS MAKING SUCH A DIFFERENCE, i can actually sit at my desk comfortably to work on things,,,, sewing the plush dolls is going to be so much easier now :3
#and the arms are set in a way that i can sit cross-legged on it too.... oohhhh babeeyyy i am in love w this chair BDJDKDL#first time in my life I've had a rolling desk chair im so fuckin hyped abt it#the only con so far is that it smells bad bc of the place it came from but fhfkdl i washed it down rly well already and aired it out#so i think I'll just have to hope it eventually stops being smelly LOL#maybe if i light some incense or candles around it enough times it'll absorb that smell instead 🤔#ANYWAYS!! WORKING ON MY GUZ PLUSHIE AGAIN YIPPEE#the janitor one is going on the backburner til this one is finished#im trying to finish Guz's off before i am dragged along on a week-long roadtrip in May fjdkdl#he will help me tolerate being stuck in close quarters w family LOL#dandy.cmd
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I got to meet Lance in 2022 and had him sign my copy of near dark that he then called ugly and tried to give me a free one but he had accidentally lost all the near dark prints that the airport😭🤣. The next day he was more than willing to film a video for my best friend, and then on the last day of the con he saw me extremely hungover tying my shoe and said hello to me once more. He was so nice I genuinely hope to meet him again one day
Listen, I love this scruffy Lance akdhdjdjd
I’ve actually seen the video! I ran across it on Instagram once. That was so sweet of him to film it! I’ve been too shy to ask him to record anything for me- And also Cat (Kat?), his assistant (?) intimidates the fuck out of me. I’m glad he has a tough assistant to keep thing running well for him, but she’s so scary to me 😅
I super hope you get a chance to see him again! He’s such a sweetheart…
#lance henriksen#lance stories#if I hear of any con appearances I’ll try to post them in the Lance tag here! Maybe one will end up close enough that you can go 🥰#i know he’s off to PA to film soon so idk when the next con appearance is 🤔#Thank you so much for sharing your story though 💕
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ITS OFFICIALLY TWINS BIRTHDAY HELL YEAH!
#I just love this tweet tbh#close enough to how I feel#;dl#shitpost#now should I tag this under the birthday tag or not 🤔
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creating a character in a game's character creation as an artist is like "Ooh, this looks cool..... But would I wanna draw it.....?"
And as a writer: How would I write other characters interacting with this....?
#missy rambles#saw some Charr horns that would be great for a touching scene bc they frame the face so it could be kinda symbolic#letting someone close enough to get past that barrier. literally ''letting them in'' past defenses#but from the side they block the face as i said#and i draw from the side a decent amount#but other horns are really good for personalizing with jewelry and such#but if he's supposed to be a sneaky thief then why would he be dressed up with noisy jewelry 🤔#SHRUG
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1. Think of your three closest friends - would you have sex with any of them? Have you already?
2. Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated?
9. What’s your darkest fantasy?
11. Would you rather have sex on a beach, on a plane, or in the bathroom of a fancy restaurant?
(Did you notice there were 2 number 2s in this list? 😄)
1: No, and no.
2: On a bus, probably? (It was a charter bus taking students back to campus, maybe a third to a quarter full; nine-hour drive, mostly at night)
9: I'd say a total loss of autonomy - the "actually being their toy"-type ones.
11: I'd go with sex on a beach; on the rocks, though (or rather a big rock) - no one wants sand in their junk! 😂
(No, I did not. 😂)
#I didn't read the list that closely 😅#sex on a plane might be more appealing in first-class?#(or whatever's higher than first class)#I've never had the privilege#I was going to say I don't know if I'm enough of a risk-taker to have sex in a bathroom#but then again I'm certainly thinking about it on a plane 😂#and I did get myself off on a bus 😅#and fingered someone in a movie theater#so maybe I am? 🤔#might never know 🤷♂️#certainly don't have anyone to have sex anywhere with so...#I don't usually do dark#happens only when I'm in bad places mentally#and just want to... give up all control to someone#have them turn me into their little doll#so I don't have to worry about anything anymore#but that's pretty infrequent#and even then I overthink about having those fantasies#usually I'm very concerned about my giving consent#but sometimes...#getting off on the bus was pretty stupid honestly#(even if it was mostly empty)#(and dark)#I had just started jacking off that year#and was... uh... a little too into it 😬😅#I don't really know if the people I'm thinking of fit the description 'closest friends' 🤷♂️#but they're who I thought of#and yeah - nope#thank you for the questions! 😊#asks
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Any British touch starved gays want to have a sleepover where we just cuddle and do random shit we'd be doing on our own but with cuddles added?
#I AM SO TOUCH STARVED#I NEED TO GO ON A DATE FOR CUDDLES#I JUST NEED CUDDLES#ITS BEEN SO LONG#(two months)#SUCH ATROCITIES HAVE BEFALLEN UPON ME#(no cuddles)#I CAN FEEL MY LIFE SHRINKING BEFORE ME#(need cuddles to survive)#i miss them so much#🥺👉👈#this os just me realising why people do hook ups but then remembering i hate most people#the only cool people that exist are on Tumblr and don't live close enough to meet :')#@ all my favourite moots you know who you are#i need more moots too tbh#fwiendship#friends w/ benfits au#but its just my life 🤔👀#lgbt nsft#queer nsft#nsft#lesbian nsft#uk nsft#uk queer#uk lgbt#uk lesbian#anyway im not serious unless you're serious in whichcase im totally serious and you should hmu
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June is pride month, but this year August is the month of the gays
#heartstopper season 2#rwrb#rwrb movie#red white and royal blue#good omens 2#(it's july 28 but close enough)#i forgot the other one i was thinking of🤔#oh well#you get the picture
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so in Mel's campaign we recently found two casks of kraken ink, which can be used to poison a weapon or as spellbook ink, and the latter use allows you to choose for the damage dealt by any spell written with it to be lightning instead of whatever the usual damage type is
Mel also has a bunch of necromancy spell scrolls we found sealed in a vault of dangerous contraband under a temple to the raven queen, one of them being Negative Energy Flood:
and. man. I think this is spookier and darker than Melliwyk currently is as a person but I keep thinking about how fucking cool this would be reskinned to be lightning based; corpses raised to fight beyond death by electronic impulses firing through their nerves and muscles, twitching and jerking like macabre puppets, like automata made of flesh
#rrrggghhh it'd be SO COOL THOUGH#unfortunatelyyyy it hits a little too close to a lot of the shit we've been dealing with for comfort#our main villain right now is a necromancer and before that we were dealing with a plague of essentially insane haunted corpses#I think I probably will end up copying a necromancy spell or two with this ink tho#we have 12 uses of it and for spells each use is valuable enough to copy a spell of any level#I like the idea of something like vampiric touch electrocuting the target but still transferring health to the spellcaster#might also mess around and recopy fireball 🤔 there's no particular benefit to that except that it's fun and I like it#mel really doesn't have a lot of outright offensive spells tbh#about me#melliwyk
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hii💓 i’m curious, what kind of bracelets are you making?
Aw hi hi!! Sorry i missed this until now! Just some simple little hemp ones so nothing fancy!! They’re really quick and easy to make and it’s really relaxing so i always enjoy it :) plus you get Objects™️ out of it so definitely recommend it as a hobby lol😤
here’s a picture of some of the recent ones i’ve made and some old lesbian and trans flag inspired ones i made a while ago :)
#asks#do NOT look to close at them and find flaws i WILL cry😣#the flaws make them beautiful okay😭😭#also they’re mostly just for fun so i’m not too perfectionist about them😅#i usually wear one with the rainbow beads on it :)#i really like it!#though i might try some of the other flags again eventually🤔#i just didn’t like how they were turning out as much and i didn’t have enough color variety for a lot of them lol#also do NOT look too close at the hemp some of it is cheap because im POOR okay judgement free zone here😤😤
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Finally back at the cabin. I'm still freezing.
#The kids had fun at the park though.#It was nice watching them run around.#Play.#So innocent.#Now. Do I want coffee or do I want tea? 🤔#Probably best to drink tea. I don't need to relax right now.#I said I'd babysit the kids today.#So I need energy.#Tea doesn't exactly provide that but it does make my bladder overactive.#So it's close enough.#Tua rp#Tua rp blog
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Somehow it feels better to be “the bravest girl on planet earth” than “an adult”…
the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.
#burnout syndrome#mental fatigue#autism#actually autistic#anxiety#social anxiety#selective eating#arfid struggles#(well maybe it’s not exactly that but it comes close)#disorded eating#-> and that concludes a list of all the things i struggle with on a daily basis gentle people 🥲#reblog#sereniv#life goals 💪#i succeeded yesterday 🙌#feeling really proud of myself 😁#oh! maybe i should also mention i have a history of being bullied ☝️#(not for long consecutive periods; but severe enough it left me significantly scarred for life)#and every time that happened i had nowhere safe to go during luch time#(because i was always haunted)#so maybe it’s bc eating was never a ‘safe place’ for me? 🤔#(that i don’t associate eating with being somewhere long enough and secure enough to actually enjoy the food?)#things to think about#and here’s the list of mandatory trigger warnings:#tw: disordered eating#tw: bullying#tw: depression#tw: anxiety#tw: trauma
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