#clinical signs
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Something about older Jason looking at the child version of himself, the innocent victim, and feeling the need to defend and avenge him the way no one else will. They'll call him reckless and try to pin the blame for his death on some unique failure of his personality, the problem isn't Robin the problem is he was just a bad fit for Robin! And then older Jason coming back to life and spits on their twisted grief. Fuck you, that innocent child deserved more. You took his memory and ruined it to make yourselves feel better. If no one will give him justice then Jason will take it himself no matter who he has to kill to get there. It's the only way he can move forward.
Something about older Cass looking at this child version of herself, this innocent who has no idea what she was doing when she was tricked into killing, and finding her irredeemable. She will forgive everyone for everything if they need a second chance but she cannot forgive that innocent child. She spends ten years wanting that child to die for their sin, a standard she holds no one else to. And in the end she does have to die. She can never forgive that child until the price has been paid and the guilty, tormented, suicidal mess of a girl is dead and never coming back. Only then can Cass live on. Only then can she smile without feeling the weight of her kill on her back. If no one will give that child the justice they deserve then she will have to do it herself. It's the only way she can move forward.
#dc#cassandra cain#dc rambles#Jason Todd#They're so messed up in such fun inverted ways#Everyone's always like oh what would Robin Jason think of red hood but I think what red hood thinks of Robin#Is equally as important#Likewise baby cass would most likely feel relief that someday she escapes the all consuming self hatred#And older Cass would feel... A lot. Regret she spent so long hating this child. Grief for what she was tricked into doing.#But I don't think she's ever fully going to get rid of all that cold hatred. That emotion that let's her look at her 8 year old self#And sentence them to death. Only them. No one else. Because people are good deep down but this child is rotten.#She's so mentally ill and relatable <3#It's not even recognisable hatred because it's so clinical and all consuming. She doesn't hate herself she just believes she deserves to di#What do you mean that's a sign of self hatred Barbara don't be silly she's perfectly fine.
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And on this Valentineās I almost broke down in tears at a wifeās dedication to her heart surgeon husband whose brain is deteriorating with a rare case of dementia
#I shadowed the doctor for the first time today and almost broke down in tears multiple times listening to her talk about her story#he performed his last heart surgery last October. and ever since heās been fading away and had to retire. rapid onset but behavior changes#were happening over the last like 6 years#this HEART SURGEON BRAINIAC started chewing tobacco in his 60s beyond his wifeās knowledge. a very common sign of this brain disease#Iām still in clinic but have to ride down to the office and get some chart stuff done now and Iām like?? spiraling about it still#at least love is real. theyāve been married for 45 years and sheās on top of her shit taking caring of him all by herself#and she only has glowing things to say about him#she wants her heart surgeon husband back but heās fading away#Iāve wanted to be a doctor my whole life but Iām such a crybaby OK Iām going now#happy valentineās day#p#v day
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Sometimes the decades-dead serial killer mummified inside a fursuit that crawled into your office through the vents is just a best friend you haven't made yet!
Sketch page of Harlan and their life choices by @itsaaudraw. They're so cute I could punch myself.
#just a kid and their dog#if the kid was a clinically depressed 30-something and the dog was a revenant zombie that thinks he's a cartoon character#Harlan Baxter#Springtrap#William Afton#art#commissioned art#itsaaudra#Five Nights at Freddy's#Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach#Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach - Ruin#fnaf oc#fnafsona#doc's ocs#doc's personas#doc's stories#doc's AUs#Springpuppy AU#animatronics#costumes#mascot suits#zombies#sign language#cuddles
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Me: The Aruto vibes are so strong with Gavv boy...I can't explain it, but maybe that's just me being wishful because I adore Fumiya shredding his vocal chords, scrunching his face in the goofiest and 'ugliest' expressions possible, and blacking out twice as the spirit of Aruto possessed him. That's commitment!
Gavv's actor: Since this will be a Sugihara production and I don't have much acting experience, I used Fumiya Takahashi and Aruto as inspiration
Me:
#14shyx#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#kamen rider zero one#take off toward a dream.kr#no...no....nO....... *clenches my fist*#*eats my fists* yOU CAN'T JUST CASUALLY SAY THAT#i was wondering why i was kinda excited for gavv and then he had to Say That#maybe that's a sign that shouma will be hated on this side of the earth but he shall be loved by me he can be my son#gavv will be my lifeline during my clinical run#okay now i have to study see you later <3
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This Audio Drama Sunday, we have some new additions to our list of Podcasts Against Apartheid. As always, thank you for taking the pledge to make your podcasts into AFZs.
If you can, please donate to Gaza Funds and E-Sims for Gaza.
Pictured (clockwise): @theichorousrotpod | EART(h) FM by @aclickbaittitle | Working Tidal by @deactivated-fish | @spacespeckspod | @vestaclinicpod
Sixth Door To The Left by @divinerodentiastudios | Vigil by Button Pods | @hinaypod | @souloperatorpod | @re-dracula | @signedvenus
Moonbase Theta, Out and MonkeyTales (not pictured) by @monkeymanproductions
#audio drama sunday#podcastsagainstapartheid#the ichorous rot#re: dracula#hi nay podcast#soul operator#moonbase theta out#eart(h) fm#working tidal#space specks#the vesta clinic#sixth door to the left#signed venus#monkeytales#vigil podcast
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"fiction doesn't/can't affect reality" you should get your head checked! btw.
#sign into the nearest clinic for me honey you shouldn't be roaming these streets#jjk x reader#genshin impact x reader#and from what I've heard#aot x reader#its mainly YOU guys#no matter what tag I block you keep reappearing#I've blocked people and they still reappearrrrr what are you doinggg
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"ha! nagi's so lazy that he can't even be bothered to feed himself!" which is a funny character quirk as long as you don't think too hard about it
#bolo liveblogs#blue lock#bllk#nagi seishiro#the signs are all there in canon but reading chapter one of episode nagi I was still surprised for some reason#like oh this guy is depressed. like clinically
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The one and only!
#madness combat#madcom#madness combat tricky#madcom tricky#tricky#tricky the clown#digital art#clinically insane#like actually#signās art
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Hey yall im back with Fig and the Cig Figs professionally produced Freshman year album (formally known as Detention) track list:
Detention
Bad Kid
Dragonslayer
Sk8er Gurl (yes it is basically just a fantasy version of Sk8er Boy by Avril Lavigne)
Burn Towns Get Money
Pit Fiend
Corn Cuties
Disguise Self
Closed Book
Infodump
Seven Maidens
Every Album Needs A Bonus Track (yes that is the name of the song)
Hereās the Junior Year Track List in case you wanna see it!
#just to be clear most of these song titles werenāt figs decision at all#like she would not choose that as her album title but because this was made when she was signed I wanted everything to feel a bit more#clinical compared to the junior year one where it was just fig and gorgug and the other bad kids having fun fucking around#thatās also the reason why the Junior year one is so much longer and totally not because I struggled coming up with song names on this#the main issue is I had to channel studio filtered Fig and not just straight Fig so I couldnāt include like#the ballad of lunch lady Doreen or fuck you coach daybreak#<āā#also she would definitely release these as āfrom the vaultā songs along with her Junior year album#I do think she fought hard for every album needs a bonus track burn towns get money and Sk8er gurl#I think the song fig hates the most is bad kid because it says literally nothing about any of the other bad kids only about her#she fucking loathes it but the label was so obsessed with keeping up the image of a teenage rockstar cool kid#if it were up to her she would have talked about the party a lot more but as it is thereās only vague references to them in detention#autism (mads) speaks#fantasy high#fhfy#dimension 20#d20#fig faeth#fig and the cig figs#fantasy high freshman year
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me writing the most heart wrenching miserable painful hideous emotionally exhausting angst vs writing a single bj
#why is thisā¦. so hardā¦. lol#someone sufffering I can fucking write in a second#as soon as I start describing a fuck itās like ok I have to rewrite this#tbh sex scenes are the only things I ever feel like I need to rewrite constantly#misery#anyway itās fine I guess whatever lol#whatever#i like reading it but itās annoying to write#i mean itās thematically necessary for the story so it should be in there!! just wish it could write itself and i just read it after and#sign off lmfao#anywayyyyy im not a puritan i swear i just get in my feels about writing what i hope is a really emotional fuck and then reading it and it#feels kinda clinical????? idk#im sure itās fine im just too close lol
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if a psychiatrist ever pisses you off remember that there is a high likelihood they were once a neurotypical psych major, which explains everything
#text#never forgetting going to the ed clinic when i was 12 and showing clear signs of being an abused child and they just really did not gaf#like yeah sure that wasnt their specialty but idk maybe if u ask a kid if theyve ever experienced a traumatic event or abuse#and they say they dont know and have a panic attack. THAT'S NOT NORMAL PROBABLY..!#anyway they then proceeded to do everyything wrong for my specific situation and made everything a billion times worse. <3
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welp slept through my alarm because of the new meds and missed class again. need to email the people in charge because i still don't have any of the notes i asked for. and my teachers, to let them know i'm switching meds and that itself is a whole process. unsure whether to mention that my psychiatrist insisted, again, that i go to a clinic, which i won't because i really do not see the good it'll do long term and i don't want to pause my studies again i just want to be done with it no matter how hard it's gonna be. i just need time and patience and empathy, that's all i need to finish my master's degree
#even if i did go to a clinic i'd be showing signs of doing better three weeks in at which point i'd be released and all my day to day#problems will come rushing back anyway so what is the point#ā° ā¾ ā§ Ė š«šš š¬š©ššš¤š¬
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Erm
#uh. my city is fucked up.#I literally do not know what to do#I just moved all my shit back into my room and ignored the rest of everything else#so much debris and flooding and the power is extremely spotty and thereās a tree leaning on one of the power lines š#baby gator has returned as well. so maybe itās a good sign. tho she was chirping a lot#like the streets r fucking TRASHED#roads straight blocked and lights and signs down. roofs torn#okā¦ Iāll maybe delete later bc itās kinda heavy stuff I guess#but also i still have lingering concussion symptoms?? šš but the clinic is closed?#maybe itās stress??
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Welp Iām distraught, Iām crushed, Iām pissed, dumbfounded. Cause I guess Iām not doing clinicals now, even though for 3 fucking years Iāve been looking forward to it and have been counting down the fucking days. Literally I guess fuck me š„²
#idek how tf this happened bc I applied extra early and had a great recommendation#and all 6 of the internship placements I selected as my preferences were clinics#and you wanna know what the psych department offered me? what the only thing they approved for me to interview for was?#a fucking elementary school aide.#like Iām sorry? what the fuck?#Iām not doing fucking educational psych am I?#what have all my classes been? clinical related. what did I specifically fucking sign up and apply for? clinics.#like are you fucking joking? š#I literally have a fucking HOSPITAL JOB on my resume#and you only want me to sit in a fucking elementary school classroom#literally Iāve been so excited bc I thought I was gonna be doing diagnostic testing for my internship#bc thatās the whole reason I even signed up and did all the shit so I could get into one of those positions#or at least something else in an actual clinical setting but no.#words cannot fucking describe what Iām feeling
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i think?? i might have finally just landed a job?????
#bc of people on leave and also public hols i wont get the contract to read over until next week#and there might also be some reshuffles depending on numbers#but so far it's a tentative yes for a clinic that's only 20-30min drive from my mum's place???#which is Ideal tbh#not letting myself fully celebrate yet until i've read and signed the contract#but hoooly shit this is the most progress i've had in this shitshow of a job search in months im gonna cry#job stuff
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There's nothing quite like getting a call from the vet you've been struggling to get a hold of for months, finally reaching out to you... a week after your cat has passed away.
#Red Rambles#Vent post#Hey thanks for the call it only took you ages not answering my calls and attempts to schedule appointments to finally get in touch with me#For context this is just in regards to routine check-ups and vaccinations#Doomfanger wasn't showing any signs of sickness or concerns that required a vet visit. I would have gone to an emergency clinic if so#I just woke up to find he had quietly passed away in the night laying beside me in bed#Excuse me I'm just really salty and angry and still hurting
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