#clean slate trilogy

[nottheweirdest]

Will there be a time skip from the first book to the second?

(Clean Slate to Fractured Reflections)

Not really! The sequel picks up largely where Clean Slate left off. There's a time jump of maybe 5ish days to a week.

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Do You Want Me, Cyar'ika [happy]

Dark!Din Djarin x Jedi!Female Reader

Warnings: HEY THIS IS DARK WATCH OUT, stalking, manhandling, slight choking if you kind of squint, dubcon (reader is willing, but is def under the influence of the darksaber), smut, hand job, mentions of blood and injury, mentions of permanent scarring of the reader

Word Count: 6,717

Summary: Din Djarin is a man who lost everything. His home, his son, his Creed. But at the end of the day, he still had you. He still had you, and he was determined to keep you. Part One: Ni Ceta, Cyar'ika Part Two: I Love You, Cyar'ika

[a/n: THIS IS THE HAPPY ENDING TO THIS TRILOGY. My suggestion is to read the version you really want first b/c the beginning half is the exact same. It's only the end that differs.]

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"sometimes, you just need a fresh start. a new beginning. a clean slate. just get rid of everything going wrong and make it go right." -the importance of starting over

.

The echoing of your footsteps bounced off the walls and the quick pace seemed to match the racing of your heart. No looking back. You needed to get to the tarmac. Din was supposed to be in the war room with Bo Katan and the others in his council discussing something or another. This morning he had told you that he wouldn’t be able to meet you for lunch until a bit later in the afternoon. Half an hour after he had told you this, you grabbed your stuff and started running. 

You had the right idea months ago when you first tried to leave. This was going to be your last chance. If he caught you this time you don’t know that you’d ever get the chance to run away again. Memories of that beskar chain and anklet hung heavy in your mind as you picked up your pace. A terrifying thought occurred to you. Would he stop there? How far would Din go to keep you by his side? You truly believed, deep down, that Din wouldn’t hurt you, but… were you just being delusional? At some point, he’d consider the line to be crossed.

The tarmac was mostly empty. The few Mandalorians that were in the area gave you curious looks, but nobody dared stop you. That was a side effect of being ‘owned’ by the Mand’alor and though you found it disturbing previously it was truly working in your favor now. Everybody on this rock, save for a few people like Bo Katan, were too terrified of Din to even look in your direction for longer than a few seconds. As you sprinted to the closest ship you knew how to pilot, the Mandalorians began to disperse. You had a suffocating suspicion that they were in the process of calling Din.

You made it further than you had last time. You were on the ship, ramp closing behind you, and you clambered into the cockpit and got things running. As the ship slowly began to rise, you saw him. Din stood at the edge of the tarmac with his hands on his hips. The wind tunneling through the ship’s exhaust and down onto the ground below caused Din’s thick cape and hair to whip around. Even from this distance, you could feel Din’s gaze burning straight through you. The look on his face was haunting⏤ a mix of devastation and unbridled rage. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away. Even after the ship was in the atmosphere and Din was far out of view, you stared down at Mandalore in pain. Your chest ached as your heart already begun to miss the man you were running from.

Before allowing yourself to wallow, you input the coordinates to Tatooine and let the ship slip into hyperdrive. The second those all too familiar lines of blurred space cast a blue glow in the cockpit, you pulled your knees up into your chest to bury your face there. If somebody were to ask you the exact reason why tears streamed down your face you would not be able to give them an answer.

You just knew, everything was wrong.

You agonized over who to send a message to. As you drew ever near to Tatooine, doubts began to plague your mind. Should you reach out to Boba and Fennec? They were obvious choices because they cared about Din and they knew how to hold their own in a fight. However, you had a nagging fear at the back of your mind that would not silence. It blared like a ghostly siren. Din was not himself right now, and though you knew without a doubt that he would not hurt you, could the same be said for Boba and Fennec? Especially if they stood in the way of Din getting to you?

You hated that you were unsure of that.

You hated that a part of you honestly thought Din might hurt his friends or worse.

There was no changing course though. The best solution you had was to get in touch with Luke Skywalker. He might have answers about this. Even if he didn’t, having him and Ahsoka by your side would help. Three Jedi surely could get that cursed saber away from Din. Granted, there was no assurance that separating the saber from the love of your life would actually work, but it was all you had. It was the last bit of hope you could cling to. 

Upon your arrival to Tatooine, you immediately slunk away to a crowded cantina. You were not a fool. You knew Din was not just going to let you wander away and you knew he was one of the deadliest bounty hunters in the galaxy. He was very good at what he did⏤ especially when passionate about the mission. That didn’t leave you very much time to get the information you needed. 

You sent out a decoded distress message to the number Skywalker had left you when he took Grogu. He left it strictly for emergencies and this obviously classified as one. After it was out in the universe, all you could do was wait. So you saddled up to the bar, sat on a stool, and ordered a drink. It was all you could think to do. This was the first time in ages that you were in a space not clouded by Din’s presence. You hadn’t realized until now how suffocating it had been.

Being with Din, watching his slow descent, you had gotten accustomed to that cloud of darkness that hung over his head. To the point where you didn’t notice it worsening and worsening. It felt as if your body had acclimated to living under the ocean. Your body grew used to the crushing depths. Your lungs shriveled from the lack of oxygen. Your eyes grew blind from the absence of light. Now? Sitting at this dingy, dirty bar, it was as if someone had forced you up from the ocean floor and dragged you quickly up to the surface. It was jarring. The fresh air was painful as it filled your lungs, your eyes burned from the disappearance of darkness, and suddenly it was freedom that felt wrong. 

A sudden beeping made you glance down at the communicator. Eyes wide, you answered it, “Hello? Luke Skywalker?” Your name was spoken over the line in concern. “Thank the Maker. I⏤ Din and I are in trouble.”

“What has happened?”

“It’s…” You took in a slow breath and began to walk him through what was going on. You started with the moment he took Grogu and described every single downward step the two of you had taken with the saber in his possession. When you finished, your throat felt thick with emotion. “I got away, but he’ll be after me soon. I know it. Luke, I… I don’t know what to do. I just know I need help, and I’m too afraid to go to anybody other than you.”

“You were right to reach out to me.” Luke sighed. “This needs to be handled by us. No need to risk anyone else.”

The thought flickered through your head without warning. You were okay with putting Luke Skywalker and Ahsoka in danger. It came quickly and you swatted it away just as fast, but it felt like poison. Obviously, Boba and Fennec meant more to you than Luke and Ahsoka. You were closer to the first two. However, it still didn’t make risking the lives of the latter two okay. The fact that the belief attempted to nestle in your head reminded you of the dark saber. Your hand wrapped around your own lightsaber⏤ seeking comfort in the energy it radiated.

“You believe he’ll follow you, correct?” Luke questioned.

“Absolutely.” You answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Luke hummed on the other end of the line in thought. “I will send you coordinates. Come to us. The Mandalorian will follow and we will handle this from there. You just need to get here. Can you do that?”

“Yeah.” You nodded your head, trying to convince yourself. “I can. I’ll leave as soon as you send me those coordinates.”

“Of course. Call us again if you have trouble.”

“Thank you.”

The call ended and you threw back the remainder of the drink before rushing for the door. It would take fifteen minutes to get to the tarmac and you assumed you’d get the coordinates by then to use. The crowded Tatooine streets made you anxious. Shoulders clipped into yours as people rushed past you in the opposite direction. It felt like there were eyes burning into your skin, but every scan of the crowd told you it had to just be your paranoia. 

Your communicator beeped again and a quick glance down revealed the coordinates you’d be heading to. Good. You quickened your pace to turn a corner to the last leg of the path that would take you to the public tarmac when you spotted him. A flash of glinting silver under the hot Tatooine suns. Your feet came to a screeching halt, and for a moment the two of you stood stock still. Din was down the road. Closer to the tarmac’s entrance than to you. His hands rested on his hips, and he was helmetless. Even from this distance the darkness swimming in his brown eyes sent a chill down your spine. He had been a sight to behold in his full armor, a faceless figure of intimidation. However, you knew now that it was worse without the helmet. Actually seeing those burning eyes, rather than just feel them, made your stomach flip.

The crowd ebbed and flowed, a small group passing between the two of you, and when they passed fully Din was gone. You couldn’t see him. Without a second more of hesitation, you spun on your heel and sprinted in the opposite direction of where he had been standing. The public tarmac was a bust. You’d never be able to successfully route yourself back around, but you still needed a ship.

Peli’s shop. As soon as it came to mind, you altered course to head in that direction. You prayed that Peli wasn’t home. Hopefully she’d be out losing credits to a group of jawas in sabbac or conning some poor sap at the market. Your chest burned in the effort it took to keep your quick pace, your heart pounded painfully, and you could still feel Din’s eyes on you. Every time you glanced over your shoulder or down alleys there was no sign of silver, but you knew⏤ you just knew⏤ that he was hot on your heels somehow. 

You finally reached Peli’s shop and the garage was closed which meant she was not home, but you remembered the way in through the back. Peli had shown it to you and Din ages ago. Even if she didn’t have a client’s ship sitting in the bay, you could steal her land speeder and come up with a different plan from there. Once in, your eyes landed on a small ship parked in the main bay and your lips curled up into a relieved smile. Find the FOB, get the ship open and started. You rushed to Peli’s office and cursed the wrecked state it was in. Her baseline was chaotic and it showed in her organization choices. You dug through the mess until you found a FOB that seemed to match the ship waiting for you.

Victorious, you sprinted out of the office back down to the bay, but the second your feet stepped into the open area something hard slammed into you. The air was knocked from your lungs as you landed on the ground. Din’s features stared down at you as his body straddled yours. One of his gloved hands pinned down your dominant hand while the other clamped down on your throat⏤ not enough to restrict air, but just enough to convey his warning. You could see your fearful eyes reflected in the beskar covering him as he towered over you. Din’s face didn’t look angry or worried. He didn’t look scared or confused. Din looked cold. Emotionless. Somehow that was worse.

“Din⏤”

“Don’t.” Din said sharply. The fingers on your neck flexed once. “Don’t speak, cyar’ika.”

More suffocating than his demeanor and broad figure was the poisonous energy seeping out of the saber hung on his belt. You were drowning in it, struggling to keep your head above it’s dark waters, and Din was pushing you beneath the waves. He held you under. Din was a man drowning and in your attempt to rescue him he was dragging you to the depths as well. 

“How could you do this to me?” Din asked. His voice cracked⏤ the only sign of his pain. “Cyar’ika, you…” Din swallowed. A flash of heartbreak filled his expressive brown eyes and the degree of his hurt briefly made you feel guilty. Like you had been the one to betray him. “I love you. You are my everything. I would burn the world for you. How could⏤ How could you leave?”

“I never asked for you to burn the world for me, Din.” You whispered. “That’s not what I want.”

Din shifted and leaned down so he could rest his forehead against yours. His hand hung loosely around your throat, forearm pressed against your chest, and it was a position your body was familiar with. If you closed your eyes and gave into the darkness trying to claw its way down your throat and into your lungs, then you’d simply feel like you were sharing a private moment of intimacy with your love. Din’s lips suddenly ghosted against yours and you felt your body tremble.

“What is it you want?” Din begged. “I will give you anything. I just want you safe by my side.”

“I told you what I want, Din…”

Din sighed, his hot breath fanning across your lower face, “I can’t do that.” His voice was strained as if her were in agony. “The saber is how I protect you, cyar’ika.”

“You’re losing me because of that saber, baby.”

For the longest moment, Din remained silent. His eyes were closed and you could see him ruminating over something. After a second, he opened his eyes and Din’s eyebrows furrowed in defeat. A flicker of hope burned in your chest until he opened his mouth and spoke. 

“Things were okay. We just need to start from scratch again. I know you hated that chain, cyar’ika, but it’s for the best.” Din said softly and your eyes widened at how serious his words were. How much he believed that to truly be the best path. “It won’t be forever, I swear it. Just until I trust you again.”

“Din⏤”

“No.” Din snapped. His soft despair turning to a firm demand. “There will be no argument. I’m taking you home.” You opened your mouth once more, but Din’s fingers began to tighten around your throat marginally. “You’re already in trouble, cyar’ika. Don’t make it worse.”

Panic began to make your heart race. You were sinking fast and the light was beginning to disappear from your sight⏤ your freedom with it. In a poor attempt at a final chance of survival, you spoke up despite his order to stay silent. “I just wanted to say sorry.”

Din scoffed. “You understand why I find it hard to believe you.”

“I know.” You nodded. “Please, baby. I’m sorry. Please believe me. You know I love you.”

You could feel Din’s thumb around your neck tracing the skin under it as he stared down at you. He took in a deep breath and leaned in to press his forehead against yours once more. Din brushed his lips lightly against yours. “You’re always so pretty when you beg, cyar’ika.” That was the one thing you had working in your favor. Din always had a hard time telling you ‘no’ when your bodies were folded together like this. “I’ll hear you out, but let’s get to our ship first.”

“Why not now? Let me tell you how sorry I am, Din.” You begged and he let out a soft sigh as his eyes closed. Your eyes darted to the saber on his belt. If you ended up back on Mandalore it would be over. There would be no second chance. Determined, you rolled your hips up and just as you suspected you were met with the firmness of his half hard cock. Din groaned. “Let me show you how sorry I am.” Your non-dominant hand had been clutching at the hand he had at your throat, but you very slowly let it travel up his arm to bury in his soft hair. “Please, baby.”

You tilted your head up as much as you could with Din’s hand clamped around your neck. Carefully, in fear that too quick or sudden a movement would break the spell, you began to pull Din down closer. Din hesitated against the slight force of your hand only for a second before he slotted his lips against yours. As always, Din’s touch set you aflame. He released the wrist he had pinned and hooked that hand under your thigh to spread your legs so he could settle between them rather than straddle you. You should be focused on escape alone, but the taste of him made you hungry for more. You weren’t sure how much was your love for Din and how much was the saber twisting it into something recognizable. 

Din’s teeth caught your lower lip, and he pulled back a breath, “You’re supposed to be showing me how sorry you are, cyar’ika.” He leaned back down to lick into your mouth, his kiss crushing and near painful as Din’s hips pressed firmly against yours. He left his lips close enough that you felt every word he spoke. “Yet here I am…” Din gave a sharp thrust and even with layers of clothes between the two of you he was able to snap the bulge of his erection right where your clit was hidden. You gasped at the pleasure that rocketed up your spine as hot pangs arousal pooled in your lower belly. “...doing all the damn work.”

At his words, you closed the space to press your lips against his again, deepening the kiss, as your hands traveled to his belt. You undid his belt with practiced ease, and while one hand slipped under the waistband of his flight suit to find the base of his cock the other went to grasp the saber.

Your fingers brushed against the thrumming metal of the saber for only a second before Din’s hand slapped on top of yours pinning it to the saber. Everything froze. Din and you were both panting, breathless from your kiss. You had one hand stuffed into his pants with your hand pressed against his skin on the space above the base of his cock and the other on the saber. Din had one hand tightening around your neck while his other crushed your fingers against the darksaber. He chuckled and the sound sent chills throughout your body.

“Let go, Cyar’ika.” Din’s voice was gruff and seemed to rumble out from his chest. You began to try and pull both hands back, but Din grunted. “Not both. Just the saber.” You sucked in a sharp breath and remained frozen. “What? You don’t want to finish what you started?” He shoved one hand down his pants to roughly grab yours and force your hand to wrap around the entirety of his throbbing cock. It was like this tense moment was spurning him onwards⏤ filling him with a thrill you had never seen before. “I thought you were sorry.”

You hated how his words made your own core ache with want. 

Din snapped the saber off his belt tossed it off to the side. Too far for you too reach, but close enough that its influence weighed heavy on you still. He did the same to your own weapon which was hooked in its usual place on your belt. Din threw that one further, more carelessly, before lowering his face back down toward yours. His hand was still wrapped around yours, and Din thrusted into your dry grip. It couldn't be comfortable you thought, but Din moaned in your ear as if it were already drunk in pleasure.

“Din…” You murmured.

His hot mouth enveloped yours, tongue licking into you, as he thrusted twice more. Din’s teeth caught your lower lip again, but this time he bit down hard enough that the taste of metallic blood flashed across your taste buds. You yelped, he thrusted into your grip, and then Din pulled back just enough that you could see his lips painted with the red of your own blood.

“Are you going to make me take you?” He asked in a harsh whisper. “Or will you come willingly?” Din pressed his bloodstained lips against the side of your face, dragging, and you shuddered as a cold, but tempting, chill filled your body. “I’ll spend eternity chasing you, cyar’ika, but it will be more enjoyable if you just agree to be mine again.”

His lips found yours once more, and for one second you weren’t in your body. Your mind clouded with a sort of vision. You saw Din sitting on Mandalore’s throne splattered with blood he had drawn from others and his features masked in a cold indifference. The saber was not on his belt, but any confusion you had on it’s location faded as a different version of you came into view. She wore an elegant and revealing gown that was as dark as a starless night, and the inactive saber was held tight in her grip as blood covered her hands and left a trail of red petals as she passed. While Din’s face held a cold indifference this version of you looked feral with enjoyment. 

She settled herself on Din’s lap and the mask he wore cracked to reveal adoration as he stared up at this other you in awe. Without wasting a beat, this unrecognizable version of yourself pulled Din into a firm kiss. The blood on the hands that resembled yours smeared against his stainless beskar, and the blood on his face left smears along features you spent your entire life staring at in a mirror. Suddenly, the other you broke away to turn and it seemed she was glaring directly at you.

The saber in her hand activated and burned with a soul sucking energy that seemed to draw you in.

“Be mine.” Din’s voice snapped you back into the moment. “Be my queen, cyar’ika. I want no else.” He pressed his lips to yours again but in a way that was too soft to match the rest of this situation. The tip of his tongue dragged through the torn tissue of your lower lip and you shivered. “Let me protect you as you rule by my side.”

And you wanted it. It was like your body had finally reached the lowest depths and your lungs were filling with the dark water you were drowning in. It was almost peaceful allowing yourself to settle into the cold⏤ allowing it to swallow you whole. Distantly, you could feel the crystal in your lightsaber desperately calling out to you, but you were certain no light could reach you where you were. Cold turned to pleasure as Din’s hands began to map the familiar planes of your body. 

“I’ve always been yours.” You whispered. Din molded his lips to yours and he pulled your hand out from where it was hidden under his waistband so he could have to room and access to begin frantically undoing your own belt. You lifted your hips so he could tug your pants down past your ass and off entirely. He didn’t bother with his own pants, deciding to just tug them down enough to be useful, and  Din settled between your legs. As he worked himself out of his pants he planted his lips against the hollow of your neck.

You tilted your chin up, panting, as you gave him more room to work his tongue against the skin there. Every atom of your being was throbbing and aching for the man on top of you, but briefly a glimmer of pain lanced through your heart. A reminder. You thought you were too deep in for the light to reach you, but your lightsaber’s call managed one faint echo. A weak lifeline back to the surface. Without thinking, your hand reached reached out to where the sabers were cast aside and for the first time in your life you felt the Force do more than just read an energy. It enveloped the space around you and seconds later something firm was in the palm of your hand.

You cried out, managing to roll Din and yourself over so you now straddled him. The saber activated in your hand and rather than the warm familiar glow you wanted, you were greeted by the soul sucking, burning energy of the darksaber lighting up in your hands. Your eyes widened in alarm. The power that washed over you was overwhelming. It rocketed up your arm and pierced your very soul. Din laid on the ground under you as you stared at the cold glow of the saber burning in your hands, and you heard him begin to laugh in amusement. 

“Maker, you’ve never looked prettier, cyar’ika.” Din grinned⏤ the look in his dark eyes was wild with desire. “How does it feel?”

Your skin was crawling as if someone was holding a live wire to it. A tremor shook your body and it took you a moment to detangle your mind away from the raw pleasure that screamed out to you. The darksaber was sinking it’s cold claws into every aspect of who you were and you could feel your reality slipping away from you. You tightened your hand around the hilt and began to squeeze. It was hard to focus the Force to bend to your will with the darksaber’s influence pressing down on you, but you clenched your teeth and squeezed harder. The crack of bending metal filled the air.

“No.” Din growled and his hands roughly pawed at you, to try and take the saber from your grip, but you raised your hands up above your head and continued to squeeze until you felt actual pain began to seep into your body. “Stop! Don’t!” 

The metal cracked further, heat began to lick out of the hilt as the saber’s burning energy flickered and grew wild. It was burning your hands, leaving the flesh it touched raw. Din screamed out at you to stop again, but you couldn’t hear him over the high pitched ringing the darksaber’s kyber crystal seemed to emit. The saber was angry⏤ the saber was scared. You focused every bit of your body’s energy to channel the Force. You screamed in agony as the saber was crushed under your grip. The crystal cracked and the energy stored in it grew volatile and unstable. With one final push of power, the crystal shattered into pieces within the crushed hilt of the saber and the release of energy blew you backwards into the dirt. 

Your ears from ringing from the blast. Your head ached painfully, you could feel blood matted in your hair from where the back of your head had slammed into the ground, but it was hard to focus on anything other than the miserable and excruciating pain that was radiating up your arms. Shakily, you lifted your hands up to try and examine them. Even though your sight was growing blurry, you could still make out the state of your hands. Scorched flesh, raw and torn, greeted you and warm blood was dripping from the spots where jagged bits of kyber crystal embedded in your skin. It rained down on you.

“No, no, no, no.”

Din was suddenly in your line of vision as he cupped the side of your face in fear and disbelief. Your hands, heavy with exhaustion, fell limp and they didn’t even hurt much anymore. You were having trouble feeling anything actually. “Please, Maker, no.” Din gasped. His voice was ragged and hoarse. Tears were swimming in his eyes and for the first time in ages, you recognized the clarity. “Cyar’ika, no, please…”

Your lips twitched up in a smile as you gazed up at him. You sighed in relief, “It’s you.” Din’s face crumpled as the tears streaked down his cheeks as he tried to pull you closer. “You’re back, baby.”

His voice seemed far away. As your eyelids grew heavy, you still felt content. If these were to be your last moments you were more than happy to share them with Din Djarin. Your Din Djarin. Pure and kind hearted. Loving and soft. Darkness seemed to envelope you, but it was not the cold darkness the saber used to force you into. This was warm and tender. You felt enveloped in love and your own kyber crystal, loyal and strong, whispered a lullaby as you relaxed into sleep.

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[three months later]

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It took you ages to find Din. After waking up in Boba’s palace, post bacta tank infusion, you realized he had slipped away without a word. Boba and Fennec had comforted you, but the only message Din left you was a soft apology passed down along friends. The fact that he hid from you was proof enough that the darksaber’s influence was gone from him. You felt it no longer either. Occasionally, you’d wake from a nightmare and a lingering darkness would cloud your thoughts, but it always dissipated with the morning light. 

You walked slowly toward the bench where he sat armorless. Din wasn’t wearing a shred of beskar, had not a single weapon on him, as he rested his elbows on his knees and stared into the distance where rolling hills and mountains sat. What made him hard to track was he stayed constantly on the move, but you were surprised that this was where he allowed you to catch up with him. You stopped by his side, Din didn’t turn to look at you, and you followed his gaze to see Grogu far in the distance sitting with Luke Skywalker on the crest of a small mountain.

“I don’t know why I came here.” Din mumbled quietly. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“Din⏤”

“I don’t deserve to be here.” He added. Din hung his head down and lifted his hands to rub at his face in exhaustion. He shook his head once. “I was supposed to leave before your ship ever entered the atmosphere, but I… I got stuck.”

That made more sense. In a moment of weakness, he stopped to see his son and he hadn’t been able to tear himself away to flee you like he usually did. You reached out to touch his shoulder, but your fingers only managed to graze his shirt before he pushed to stand began to stalk away.

“Din!” You cried out and followed his brisk pace. He walked back to where his small ship at waiting. “Din, please, wait.”

“Leave, cyar’ika.” Din replied firmly.

“No.” You snapped and raced up the ramp into his ship’s tiny cargo hold to slide into his path to stop him. You expected to see anger in his eyes from your disruption, but the only emotion his large brown eyes conveyed was pain and desperation. You felt your heart ache at the way he stared down at you in misery. You shook your head. “Din, will you please talk to me?”

Din swallowed, his voice was hoarse, “There is nothing to talk about.” 

You reached out to rest your hands on his chest, and he glanced down to stare at them. The bacta tank had saved your hands and left you with full use of them, but the scarring remained. The skin was discolored with burn scars and jagged lines where kyber crystals had pierced your skin and left their mark. 

“This wasn’t your fault, baby.” You whispered as you noticed how intently he was staring at your hands. Din shook his head and tried to pull away from your touch but you tightened your hands into fists⏤ clutching his shirt like a lifeline. “Din, I don’t blame you.”

“You should!” Din suddenly yelled and your eyes widened. His hands wrapped around your wrists as he held your gaze. His voice shook. “You should blame me.” Din took in a sharp gasp. “This was all my fault. I was weak.”

“Din.”

“I remember it all.” Din closed his eyes in agony. “Maker, I⏤ I was manhandled you. I chained you to the fucking wall. Held you hostage.”

“Din⏤”

“Hunted you down like a bounty. Forced you into the position where you had to use your body just to distract me so you⏤ I⏤ Maker. Even if you don’t blame me, cyar’ika, I do. I don’t deserve access to my weapons. I don’t deserve the armor of a Mandalorian. I don’t deserve you.”

You held onto him tighter as he tried to pull your hands away from him. “I love you, Din.” He scoffed. “I do. I love you. The darksaber was to blame for all of that and I stayed by your side because I knew that and I refused to lose you to it. I stayed knowing the risk.” Din’s eyes were still shut tightly, but you could see tears collect in his eyelashes. “And I can’t lose you now.”

“Cyar’ika…” He mumbled.

“Open your eyes.” You demanded. You released his shirt but only so you could cup his face with your hands. Din’s entire body trembled under your touch and his hands squeezed your wrists. “Baby, open your eyes and look at me.” Finally, after an agonizing moment, Din opened his eyes and you offered him a small smile. “I love you.” He let out a shaky gasp. “And I can’t sit idly by while you punish yourself for sins that you shouldn’t have to bear. Please don’t run from me. Please let me stay. I’ll keep following you all over the galaxy if I have to or⏤ or if you don’t want me then I’ll… I’ll stop. If that’s what you really want, then I won’t follow.” Din leaned into your touch. “I’m not trying to control or torture you with my presence, I just… I miss you, baby.”

Din closed his eyes again and loosened his grip on your wrists so he could trace them up and lay them over your smaller hands resting on his jaw. He sighed. “I hurt you.” His thumbs traced the scarred skin on the back of your hands. “I did this to you.”

“No, you didn’t. The darksaber did, and I chose to fight that damned thing.”

“If I had been stronger against it then you never would’ve had to.”

“You had no way of knowing, Din.” You shook your head. “It even took me a while to realize how dangerous that saber was and I’m Force sensitive. Nobody in the galaxy would have been able to resist the influence of that kyber crystal even if they knew what it could do. You were blindsided by it.”

Din opened his eyes. “You resisted against it.”

You pressed your lips together then pulled his face toward yours so his forehead was resting against yours. “I knew what it was doing, and it was still the hardest thing I have ever done.” You admitted. “Even now I still feel that darkness crawling across my skin in the dead of the night. Like a ghost haunting me.” You tightened your grip on his jaw. “But you know how I did it?” Din didn’t respond, but you pressed onward. “I did it because I wasn’t going to let anything take you from me. I was not going to let it keep your soul⏤ I was not going to lose you.” Quickly, you pushed forward a pressed a chaste lip to his lips. “Not then. Not now. I will always fight for you. Even if it’s your own guilt I have to fight.”

“Do you want me, cyar’ika?” Din whispered⏤ his voice so soft and faint you almost thought you imagined it. 

You caressed your thumbs against his cheekbones. “I will always want you, baby. Always.”

To prove your point, you tenderly slotted your lips against his. You stayed motionless, just holding him to you, and you could feel a tear trace the outline of your thumb before reaching his lips. It was as if the taste of his salty tear awakened something in him. Din’s mouth began to move against yours desperately. You shifted your hands down and around his neck to cling to him. Din’s own arms wrapped tightly around your torso so he could pull you flush against his body. 

His lips suddenly left your lips to press sloppy, desperate kisses against your jawline then down your neck. Between every touch of his lips against your skin he whispered an apology or an exclamation of love. You tried to drag his lips back up to yours, but he surprised you by falling to his knees. You gasped and stared down at him. Din rested on his heels as his hands hugged the back of your thighs. He stared up at you in adoration, but you could still see agony there as well.

“I am so sorry.” He pleaded like a man begging in prayer at an altar. “I love you, and I am so sorry. I could spend an eternity reminding you of that and it still would not be enough to express how I feel.” Din leaned forward and rest his forehead against your hip. “Ni cuy’ nass ures gar. Ni cuy’ osi’yaim. Ni cuy’ hut’uun.”

You slowly peeled his forehead away from your hip and his hands off your thighs so you could kneel in front of him as well. You held his face once more and wiped away the lingering tears that stained his cheeks. “Cin vhetin.” Din’s eyes widened at the words. A phrase you had Boba teach you. “That’s what I want.”

“Cyar’ika…”

“I hate seeing you speak so poorly of yourself.” Your bottom lip quivered and your throat felt thick. “It pains me to watch you hate yourself⏤ when I love you so much.” Din sucked in a sharp breath. “So, if you love me still, Din, that’s what you’ll give me. Cin vhetin.”

Din paused before he gave you a curt nod. You pulled him into a tight hug, arms clinging to his shoulders, and you were relieved to feel Din hold you just as securely. As if you were both terrified to feel the other slip away again.

.

[three months later]

.

You woke with a start, eyes snapping open in the dark of your bedroom, and the cold, cruel ghost of the darksaber gripped your spine. It crawled up slowly as you tried to push away the lingering nightmare and piece together your reality. The bed under you shifted as someone climbed in beside you. A heavy hand slipped over your abdomen as Din shifted his closer. His bare chest pressed tightly against your back as he held you close.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” Din whispered in your ear, voice heavy with sleep. “Grogu woke up wanting a glass of water.” That was your reality. You had the love of your life back, and the green boy you and Din both adopted as your own was back in your lives. You, and the ones you loved, were nestled in your cozy home on Nevarro. Din’s lips pressed against your neck. “Riduur?” The new nickname a reminder of the peace that came with your reality. “Are you alright?”

The warmth of his skin against yours cast away the chill the memory of the darksaber brought. One of his bare, thick thighs slid between your legs until every part of you was tangled with every part of him. You let out a soft sigh of content and nodded. “I’ve never been better, baby.”

Din peppered soft kisses against your shoulders and you fell asleep safe in his arms.

.

mando'a translations:

Ni cuy’ nass ures gar: I am nothing without you. Ni cuy’ osi’yaim: I am a despicable person. Ni cuy’ hut’uun: I am a coward. Cin Vhetin: fresh start, clean slate (term indicating the erasing of a person's past when they become Mandalorian, and that they will only be judged by what they do from that point onwards)

.

[here is the dark ending]

[jnjzksekfjvn]

america as homelander in the scene were he imagines lasering a crowd of protesters against him. I also like him as homelander bc i still think that america cant read the room at times or in my opinion cant control his expressions(very emotional and expressive person) and is also arrogant and deeply insecure ! both of them care about their image and will do anything to maintain a clean slate anyways lala

patrick bateman too, american trilogy...

[ramblingcj]

DAV

I accidentally got something spoiled, despite my best efforts, that absolutely nuked any and all interest I had in this game. I already had my reservations with them shoehorning Varric into it, but this....? This is worse.

Spoilers under the cut obviously!

Basically, the way this game handles the past three games is to pretend that they never happened.

Ferelden is left blighted, save for small areas.

Which completely erases EVERTHING from Origins and some from Inquisition. Ferelden is not a land that was saved from the Blight by the Warden and working to rebuild when the Inquisition shows up. Nah, that never happened. Clean slate!

Kirkwall was attacked and overrun. Anyone who escaped are prisoners in Starkhaven.

Anything Hawke or the Inquisitor did is completely null and void. Nothing they did ever mattered because clean slate!

Ventari has taken over Orlais.

That's right. Whatever the Inquisitor did in DAI is completely erased. The Venatori was never stopped, you see? So, Orlais was never saved and a choice of ruler was never made.

The reason I fell in love with Dragon Age was the lore, the characters, the story of the games.

All of which this game decided to erase as if it never happened. And for what?

If this spoiler is in any way accurate, then this game can rot for all I care. I'm gonna stick to Baldur's Gate until something else interesting comes along. Hell, I might even replay Origins, the actual best game in this series.

Ten years. We waited ten years. For this? This shit!?

And while I'm at it, you all owe Mass Effect Andromeda a huge apology. While that game was not to the level of the trilogy (and how could a single game compare to three), it at least respected the games that came before. It did not pretend that it was better than its predecessor.

[kinglywarden]

I'm not close to being done, but the idea that southern Thedas, Denerim and Orlais are just gone actually has me sickened. We don't know which of our favorite characters from the original trilogy are even alive and I hate that. It just feels like it's all for nothing, and I feel like we're not going to get any answers.

The mention that people in Denerim escaped to Redcliffe gives me hope for Alistair, and they mention all the leaders working together so I truly am just living on hope at this point LMAO

Still really enjoying the game though, I'm just not sure how I feel about a clean slate.

[tinas1469]

RUMOR: Tom Holland's Spider-Man 4 May Give Fans Two Team-Ups They've Always Wanted

Spider-Man 4 is in the works at Marvel Studios, and actor Tom Holland has already discussed his return as Peter Parker, but a new rumor suggests Charlie Cox's Daredevil might return in a big way.

Cox made his superhero debut in the Netflix show Daredevil long before he was considered for Spider-Man 4. Cox played the titular character on the show for three seasons but was not reintroduced to the official MCU until his incredible cameo in Spider-Man: No Way Home. He made a proper comeback with more screen time in episode 8 of She-Hulk: Attorney At Law. Although Cox has yet to play a substantive role in an MCU film, Daredevil: Born Again has already been confirmed for 2025.

But will the Daredevil story continue in the upcoming Spider-Man 4? According to scooper Daniel Richtman, Daredevil will return to the Spider-Man franchise. After the popularity of the Netflix show and the positive reaction to Cox's cameo in Spider-Man: No Way Home, fans are thrilled at the idea of the character's revival. Cox returning to the MCU as a significant player in Spider-Man 4 could also indicate the Spider-Man and Daredevil team-up that fans have been hoping for. Spider-Man and Daredevil have been the central duo of many fan posters for the upcoming film, and perhaps the studio heads at Marvel Studios have been listening. Richtman also reported that Paul Rudd's Ant-Man is being considered for Spider-Man 4 in a role similar to Tony Stark or Doctor Strange's in the previous two Holland-led movies.

In Spider-Man: No Way Home, Cox's brief but memorable cameo as the Lawyer Matt Murdock, a.k.a. Daredevil, features him getting all of Peter Parker's legal charges dropped after agreeing to take his case. This strictly civilian encounter left the fans wanting to see the pair fully suited up and left Peter Parker completely unaware that his lawyer is Daredevil. Thanks to Doctor Strange's world-saving spell at the end of Spider-Man: No Way Home, Matt Murdock probably won't remember Peter Parker either.

So how will the ultimate superhero team-up come together? At the end of No Way Home, Peter Parker is back to square one. The conclusion of the Home trilogy may serve as the perfect clean slate for Spider-Man, as he'll now be supporting himself, fighting crime in New York without the help of Tony Stark or the Avengers. How the two characters will cross paths remains a mystery, but it doesn't seem like a stretch given that they both work in NYC's Hell's Kitchen neighborhood. Perhaps Daredevil will help Peter Parker readjust to his new life as an anonymous small-time superhero and even kick off a new Spider-Man trilogy. Perhaps Holland's Spider-Man will even appear in Daredevil: Born Again.

A little fan service may serve the struggling Marvel Studios well, and there's no doubt that fans are already champing at the bit to see this potentially legendary team come together. If Richtman's prediction turns out to be true, it could spell success for the MCU.

Spider-Man: No Way Home is streaming on Hulu.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Thank you @sergeantpixie for tagging me! rules: list 5 of your favourite books on a poll, so your followers can vote which book they think captures your vibe the best

But I decided to cheat and have it be 6 so that I can include 3 series and 3 stand alones, because that just felt right to me

Goodreads Summaries of the latter four books bellow (since the first two are a tumblr staple and a classic so I don’t feel the need)

The Diviners:

Evie O’Neill has been exiled from her boring old hometown and shipped off to the bustling streets of New York City—and she is pos-i-tute-ly ecstatic. It’s 1926, and New York is filled with speakeasies, Ziegfeld girls, and rakish pickpockets. The only catch is that she has to live with her uncle Will and his unhealthy obsession with the occult. Evie worries her uncle will discover her darkest secret: a supernatural power that has only brought her trouble so far. But when the police find a murdered girl branded with a cryptic symbol and Will is called to the scene, Evie realizes her gift could help catch a serial killer. As Evie jumps headlong into a dance with a murderer, other stories unfold in the city that never sleeps. A young man named Memphis is caught between two worlds. A chorus girl named Theta is running from her past. A student named Jericho is hiding a shocking secret. And unknown to all, something dark and evil has awakened…

Black Iris:

It only took one moment of weakness for Laney Keating’s world to fall apart. One stupid gesture for a hopeless crush. Then the rumors began. Slut, they called her. Queer. Psycho. Mentally ill, messed up, so messed up even her own mother decided she wasn't worth sticking around for.

If Laney could erase that whole year, she would. College is her chance to start with a clean slate.

She's not looking for new friends, but they find her: charming, handsome Armin, the only guy patient enough to work through her thorny defenses—and fiery, filterless Blythe, the bad girl and partner in crime who has thorns of her own.

But Laney knows nothing good ever lasts. When a ghost from her past resurfaces—the bully who broke her down completely—she decides it's time to live up to her own legend. And Armin and Blythe are going to help.

Which was the plan all along.

Because the rumors are true. Every single one. And Laney is going to show them just how true.

She's going to show them all.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone:

Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.

In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low.

And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands", she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out.

When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

Blanca & Roja:

The del Cisne girls have never just been sisters; they're also rivals, Blanca as obedient and graceful as Roja is vicious and manipulative. They know that, because of a generations-old spell, their family is bound to a bevy of swans deep in the woods. They know that, one day, the swans will pull them into a dangerous game that will leave one of them a girl, and trap the other in the body of a swan.   

But when two local boys become drawn into the game, the swans' spell intertwines with the strange and unpredictable magic lacing the woods, and all four of their fates depend on facing truths that could either save or destroy them. Blanca & Roja is the captivating story of sisters, friendship, love, hatred, and the price we pay to protect our hearts.

no pressure tagging: @badthingtwice @snixx @pinkhysteria @telumendils @immaterial-pearl @quantummeep @undergroundash

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

But like. He did kill so many grisha just because. Like at what point such a significant change happens and like how. Someone who started out just to save grisha is just killing them left and right. Like this is not the trolley problem thing that he is killing 2 to save 4. He kills them because he can. I have always considered ditw pandering.

Re: this ask

Anon, anon, why are you putting me in the position to argue that the Darkling Wasn’t That Bad Actually on tumblr dot com?? That’s the meanest thing a faceless stranger on the internet could do to me.

Anyway lol so I don’t think DitW was pandering! LB first wrote it while she was drafting R&R— the book where he makes some of his most heinous choices. So I don’t think there’s like a gap where she decided to instead pander to people, you know? She can think of him as a hurt child and someone who burns down orphanages and razes cities just to get his nemesis’ attention.

By R&R he’s centuries old, in the short story he’s a grand total of thirteen. I don’t think it’s pandering or woobifying to have him change over such a vast span of time. And like we literally see baby’s first murder play out on the page.

I personally thought it was a really deft way to show how he went down the path he did. It illustrates how he’s kept isolated his mother, partially through necessity because of the looming ever present fear of being hunted by Grisha and otkazat’sya. How she’s also raised him to believe that he’s fundamentally other than, but also above, everyone else. Over the course of the story he makes his first attempt at marginally trusting anyone, to take the risk of *gasp* making a friend, and it goes horribly! Completely reinforcing all of the bitter fear and mistrust Baghra has raised him with. Also like even at that age he responds with rather stunning ruthlessness.

I think it’s pretty relevant that the threat to him was from other Grisha, and that he covers up the entire thing by using otkazat’sya/general Grisha persecution as an excuse. I think it leads up to his strategies in TGT really well and how, in offering a supposed sanctuary for Grisha, he’s made himself very powerful. And how he uses saving them/the country as an excuse for all of the choices he’s actually making in self interest. Idk I think it’s good characterization!

As for the TGT era, I think any more noble aims he might have held have become warped and corrupted over time. They’re just too flimsy and very easily set aside in the face of his desire for control. The trilogy is about the inherent corrupting nature of power and immortality, so the Darkling having started out as someone who might have meant well, as someone whose values may have been more aligned with Alina’s is kind of the point! And we do see some hints of those skin deep values, like the frankly laughable thing where he makes all the Grisha eat peasant food because they’re good salt of the earth Ravkans and they shouldn’t forget where they came from.

But yeah like he does kill Grisha left and right, but it’s the ones who have defied him. They’re the ones who’ve sided with Alina. The point of the story is that he might want to save them, but he wants power more. And his immortality and cumulatively acrued ruthlessness means that he doesn’t see it as anything but wiping the slate clean. This current generation was disloyal? Wipe them out. He made a point of preserving the children, they’ll just grow up and fill the ranks. Individual lives mean nothing to him because they’ll just die in a blink of the eye anyway. And also because by TGT he’s just a garden variety fascist lol. The good of an amorphous and ill defined collective/cause/nation outweighs that of the individual, no matter if those individuals make up that cause. He’s comfortable killing as many disloyal Grisha as need be without viewing that as a set back to larger Grisha interests. And it goes without saying that he must be the one leading said cause and furthering those interests, anything else is unacceptable.

[nottheweirdest]

Wait..... there is a tag where is says trilogy.... will there be another book after Fractured Reflections? Idk, I am just hyperfixating on you works rn, they are so good!!

There is!! Clean Slate is meant to be 1/3 and always has been. There are breadcrumbs that build to the third booka already in the first 😁

I am over the moon you're enjoying my stories!! This ask gives me so much joy 💖💖💖 if work would actually let me use my PTO I request maybe I could get some writing down for it 😅

[nalyra-dreaming]

Encourage me at your own risk 😈

Obviously, as you said in your ask, there is a lot of book!Daniel/Armand/Marius interrelated content.

How do you think Daniel’s AMC age at the start of S1 is gonna change much of the final trilogy’s plot?

:))

I think... they will use Daniel's age to their advantage, in the sense that some of that has already happened (as well). Others have theorized about this as well, but... what if Daniel actually went mad, and Marius intervened, took him away, and wiped his memories?

It would certainly change the dynamics, yes, but it also would bring a possible introduction and reconciliation ("truth and reconciliation" are what Louis is aiming for after all according to his own words) to Marius in a way that would pave the way for the last trilogy a bit more directly...

Because whatever they have going on with the Devil's Minion in modern Dubai (and I do think that might play out over all the seasons) - the shifting back and forth relationship-wise will need to have been done beforehand here as well. It would not serve the show and the "war" they're setting up in the modern part of the show if they kept that mess, especially since the said mess is only like a few sentences in the books.

As Amel's awakening will likely be combined with Akasha's (and the arc therefore extended, I could see them believing they'd "won" and this win being turned around then with the Amel reveal for example) we will have situations where too much shifting in the relationships will only distract. Especially since the strengths of those relationships will then be needed to battle said "enemy". (Which fits imho with what Jacob said re the focus.)

I think Daniel will take over some of David's parts, if not all, though if he will replace him... not sure. I would think they need the interconnections with the Talamasca for their Talamasca show, but... *gesticulates towards Mayfair Witches*. Either way, both Louis and Daniel will have much greater roles in the show, will be much more heavily involved with their respective partners than in the books (or as it may seem in the books).

Daniel's age provides them (the writers) with a clean slate so to speak. Yes, we already have some ages, some details, like where he worked, and the books he wrote. They carefully set that up already. And he obviously subconsciously remembered some things as well, if the set design of his apartment is any indication.

But they now have decades to play around with - breaks in marriages, travels, global events. The possibilities to interweave parts of the tale with Daniel are almost endless, I cannot begin to speculate there (actually I can, but there would be no end to it *laughs*, it's literally almost endlessly possible to push stuff into his "life").

They've given themselves incredible opportunities with this twist. The Devil's Minion arc is now not just a few years, but decades. Also, who says that Daniel's mind was wiped only once (for example).

And... in regards to the final trilogy... I think it will be concluded with the events of Blood Communion, the dance obviously foreshadowing that already. My gut feeling is they'll skip the actual aliens (the parents), and keep Rhoshamandes and his "threat". I also think they will skip the spirits and ghosts, and Memnoch... or only touch on that in past sense, because it's too metaphysical and can easily drift off into cheesy. And while they're happy being campy... this show is also grating and brutally direct in other aspects. So... Atlantis? Probably not. Which makes me think that Rhoshamandes could be the "brute" in Madagascar, maybe, though for Louis to use that word something with him had to have happened already, and I'm not sure if the characterization fits. And that has to be prior to Amel whispering in Rhoshamande's ear so to speak. (Though Rhoshamandes' house from Blood Communion could be in Madagascar, maybe?)

Now, I think the Devil's Minion arc will be concluded before the events of Blood Communion.

Armand's speech in that book will play a big part I bet, and I could easily see it altered. And... well. I could easily see Daniel being the one to help Fareed with solutions for example. Or him being one of the "hostages". (Though that does not have anything to do with his age then).

Either way, I think Daniel is much wiser now and I really, really hope he will not get a new body, but that they will use his age, and experience within the plots, as said. That he will be the one to help them connect the dots. Or... that the dots connect through him, would probably be the better phrasing^^.

For example I do think he encountered Lestat before, or at least his voice. But there really is no telling how many others he found before, is there :))

What if he did a report on that island and castle of Rhoshamande's? Or traced certain events over the globe. Et cetera.

So... I do think they will "use" his age and the decades it gives them to their advantage. How it changes the last books' plots depends heavily on how they do those books. But I think Daniel will play a central part.

[chattercap]

Monthly Update (March 2024!)

Hello everyone, happy March!

Karamu Trilogy

February was definitely my Kanau development month! Most of the month was devoted to working on the art assets and setting up the voice acting. I started the casting call in early February and finished it in mid-February. I also received all of the voice files and cleaned and adjusted them/requested retakes. I'll be making casting announcements soon; I'm very excited to be working with so many talented individuals!

I also started and finished all of the art for Kanau. In total, it's 7 backgrounds, 9 CGs, and 21 mini CGs! (Gosh even I'm impressed by how much art I managed to do for this…originally it was just going to be 2 backgrounds and one sprite…)

I also wrote around 6000 words for Hanasu, the Karamu sequel!

The Deepwater Witch

I finished a few of the remaining CGs for The Deepwater Witch, but there are a couple left to go that I want to take my time with. Since March will be devoted to MINDMINDMIND (and coding the Kanau release), I decided to push back the full TDW release to April.

MINDMINDMIND (Nano 2024)

I finalized the designs for Geist and Kalei, and I also finished finalizing the outline. In addition, I decided to start the casting call for this one a little early; I do want to release the voiced version for Nano if possible, and I want to give the VAs as much time as possible to record. As a result, I am DEAD SET on finishing the script within the first ten days of March…fingers crossed!

Other game build related stuff!

I got some reports in January that there were issues with TDW's MacOS build, which is probably because of my engine change (from Unity to Godot). Mac's security systems are notoriously difficult to work with, which is probably what is causing the problems. I decided to bite the bullet and buy an Apple Developer License so I could sign and notarize my Mac builds, but after struggling for around 2 weeks, I concluded: with my current game framework, it is impossible to sign and notarize for Mac. If I want to fix it, then I need to either rewrite all of my code in a different language or go back to Unity.

I did hear that deploying on itch through itch's command line app (butler) and then playing the game through the official itch app can fix some of the issues. I did that for TDW, and hopefully the MacOS game build is working okay now. If you want to play my games on Mac, please download them through the official itch app. That's the best way to make sure that they play without a hitch. Unfortunately, I don't have a good Mac (the only one I own is around 11 years old at this point), and it's difficult for me to do any Mac testing. If you run into problems, please let me know, and I'll try to get them sorted!

As for Android builds, I'm still waiting on an update to the version of Godot that I use, so I don't have a timeline on that. As soon as Android builds are available, I'll work on ports for Kanau and TDW.

What am I planning for March?

Kanau is slated to release on Friday, March 8th, so between now and then I'll be hard at work coding. I'm also going to be in the weeds scripting for MINDMINDMIND so that I can give a script to the VAs as soon as I cast (I'm aiming for around 2k words a day…hopefully…) After Kanau is released, I'll be finalizing the MINDMINDMIND script, and then the rest of the month will be devoted to putting MINDMINDMIND together. It will be finished by the end of March, by hook or by crook!

Thank you to everyone for reading, and I'll see you next month!

If you want to hear from me more often, I post frequently on my Patreon with sketches, writing snippets, sneak peeks, high resolution art, and weekly devlogs.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Thursday, January 25 - Friday, January 26

Kathy: Ewww! Who left their gum here? Buffy: Gum gnome?

~~Living Conditions~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

His Guiding Angel (Angel/Cordelia, K+) by apachefirecat

Gone (Buffy, Dawn, PG-13) by veronyxk84

"Not Quite An Empty Place" (Buffy/Spike, NR) by TazDevilen

A Shock of Hot Chocolate (Giles, T) by The_Eclectic_Bookworm

Перемена судьбы (Buffy/Angelus, T, Russian language) by B_E_S

Serenissima [A Post Reunion Trilogy Story] (Buffy/Angel, E) by MCorey1317

How I Want To Be Free (Angel, T) by Pinkperson

Shine (Giles/Jenny, G) by HAL1500

Four Little Words (Buffy/Angelus, T) by angelus2hot

[Chaptered Fiction]

Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy, Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, R) by slaymesoftly

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion, Chapter 410 (Crossover with Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, T) by madimpossibledreamer

Head Over Feet, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, G) by L0zerEmz0

The Day After, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Maldorana

Meeting the Coven, Chapter 1 (Xander/Anya, T) by AJ Fields

Ignite, Chapter 1 (Movie AU, T) by ILovePaulReubens

Buffyverse Flashfic, Chapter 18 (Willow/Anya, T) by NotASlayer

New Normal, Chapter 30 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by holetoledo

Cherry on Top, Chapter 27 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Maxineeden

To All We Guard, Chapter 15 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by simmony

Love Ridden, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

In Any Life, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Spikelover4ever

Rise, Chapter 25 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by CheekyKitten

Destiny or Choices Made?, Chapter 44 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by charmed4lifekaren

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 80 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by the_big_bad

The Day After, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Maldorana

Goodbye to Everything That I Knew, Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, R) by fortes775

A Little Poet in Her Monster, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Desicat

Love Lives Here, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Passion4Spike

Pack My Box with Five Dozen Liquor Jugs, Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

A Waxy Gent Chuckled Over My Fab Jazzy Quips, Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by violettathepiratequeen

Clean Slate, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by hulettwyo

The U in Robot, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Girlytek

Dusk Rising, Chapter 28 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by HappyWhenItRains

Anarchy Tour, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Alyot

What the Drabble?, Chapter 74 (Buffy/Spike, R) by VeroNyxK84

It's Easy Time, Until It's Not, Chapter 17 (Buffy/Spike, G) by hulettwyo

Coming Through, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by hulettwyo

[Images, Audio & Video]

Craft:Buffy bracelets by yyouriley

Artwork:i can't see me lovin' nobody but you! for all my liiiiiife by genericaces

Gifset:Anthony Head in Buffy The Vampire Slayer S1.4 Teacher’s Pet by 51kas81

Gifset:2x08 | "The Dark Age" by clarkgriffon

Gifset:season seven > buffy & faith by starryeyesxx

Gifset:season seven > anya & dawn by starryeyesxx

Gifset:season seven > xander & spike by starryeyesxx

Gifset:season seven > willow & dawn by starryeyesxx

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[amyisherenowitsokay]

Ooh, another one came to me when I sent the technology one.

In going back and reviewing the original MHNY trilogy plot, story, everything built between characters etc, what did you do? What did you decide to scrap, to keep, or to repurpose? You said you're aiming to branch away from 2 and 3 with something different, and disliked how you kept yourself to following the plot beats of the original first, right?

What does that clean slate look like? What pieces in Re:1 act as the catalyst to those further down in Re:2&3? The largest ones are obvious, (obviously) the big glaring plot changes. Are there more subtle ones? (don't have to say if you want to keep em a secret.)

Or, just, what things thru all three stories made you die inside and scream why did you write that? (I feel like you have a list.)

I'm gonna answer with spoilers because I'm having a good time answering these. These are HEAVY spoilers for the direction of the fic. As Re:MHNY2 is currently aiming at a Spring release date, I feel more lax about it's secrets, but still. If you don't want to know, don't look.

CW// Mentions of sexual themes, explicit themes, the briefest of mentions of non-con as a theme

This is a really fun question in particular, because it was really something I wrestled with just in the conception of this fic series so many months ago, going back and forth with "do I want to do a rewrite? and if I do, knowing I had a second chance, what would I fix?"

I'll fully admit there are people who remember my fics better than I do (I am looking respectfully at @rllybritrlly whenever literally anything about From Your Memory gets brought up). That meant I really needed to reread my original fics to even remember all the details, what I wrote about them, read my cringe tween A/N's, etc. As Re:1 was the baby that started it all, I really wanted to pay as much homage as possible to it. Also, even so many years later, I still liked the overall plot, even if I felt the details could've been better executed, and I could've done without the various problematic themes. I think I've given the lengthy answer before, somewhere, but the short of it is mostly these major points:

I didn't like the weird sexually exploitative relationship between Zim/Gaz with the kissing/touching. Additionally, I knew I could make the inevitable ZAGR kiss way more dramatic if it was roped into the climax instead of just randomly thrown in the mix in problematic ways from the mid-arc. I LOVED writing the kiss in the rewrite, and it was actually one of the first scenes I rewrote, even before officially announcing/confirming the rewrite.

I didn't like Gaz and Dib's relationship. I love cruel, troubled Gaz, but I don't think it benefited the story to make her so constantly dismissive of Dib, to the point where he was sometimes written like an afterthought. I think IZ as a whole benefits from the complex relationships the characters have with one another, and the Re:MHNY series could benefit from developing those changing relationships rather than stagnating on them.

I had no idea when writing the original MHNY that I was ever going to do a sequel, or the direction of the finale. It was originally a one-and-done until I think the second-to-last chapter, when I decided I had more to write, and liked my readership too much to give it all up with a one-hit-wonder. Now that I know where the finale goes, I really wanted the opportunity to drop more lore, hints, and foreshadowing. The biggest example is Tak, whose name I basically borrowed as recognizable since I was too lazy to make a one-off OC, and only after-the-fact found a way to reweave her back into the third installment. Tak's fate is not going to be the same as it was in the original, and also, in the first rewritten fic, we got more insight into her personality. Not a lot, granted, but enough where the reader would be able to notice changes later on.

Discerning readers may have noticed that I kept the same amount of chapters in the rewrite as I did the original. If you compare chapters 1:1, a lot of the bigger themes parallel one another. Gaz is still ensnared by alien parasitic technology in chapter 1 of the rewrite as she was in the original, albeit in much bloodier circumstances. Zim's motorcycle/car chase in the original in chapter 6 is paralleled by the chase in chapter 6's rewrite, even though the circumstances are vastly different. Zim feigning a long-term, committed relationship in chapter 17 of the rewrite is a big nod to the original, in which Zim bartered for Gaz's life on the premise that they were more together than they really were, even with the kissing/touching premise they had with one another. Additionally, the theme of 'Zim hacks the Valkian ship' stays, even if it's once again executed under different circumstances. The details change, yes, but ultimately the Valkians are still slaughtered. That dedication I made towards keeping Re:MHNY1 as 1:1 as possible was a fun challenge in its way, but it's not going to happen in the sequels.

Regarding Re:mhny2 and Re:mhny3, I will only be borrowing the most basic of premises. As announced earlier this year, Iggins is still in the next fic. However, his differences are major, and a closely guarded secret I have only really shared with I think my internet bestie and my boyfriend. Again, anyone not looking for spoilers may want to skip this ask.

Some sneaky secrets are how I left whether or not Gaz went back to finish the tournament ambiguous. Additionally, that unlike the finale of the original MHNY, Gaz and Dib do not ever have another 'on-screen' discussion after she's rescued. Zim and Dib do, yes, but Gaz and Dib do not. There's a joke in Ch 20 about Zim showing up in his living room with cocoa, but the nature of any sibling conversations, if any even occurred, are also left deliberately absent and/or ambiguous. It's noted that they spent the majority of the aftermath resting, and really not a lot else. The most screen time Dib gets is being thrown out of the operating room in the flashback.

Unlike the original, where Tak was originally just used as a throwaway name-drop when I was too lazy to make an Irken OC or find another way to justify why someone might call to warn Zim about the Valkians, or even know who he was, I currently know Tak's fate in the rewrite, and I knew it when I wrote it, too, which means I got to sneak in that little ominous line of the Tallest when hearing her report in Ch 20.

“Now,” he said, doing his best to shrug off the strain of morning. “Go get that she-Irk again.”

A discerning reader might also have noticed Professor Membrane is not brought home, and never told what actually happened. Aside from some angsty pining from the Membrane siblings, his personal involvement ends when Dib abandons him at his conference and comes home for Gaz. That being said, there's also an interesting few paragraphs that have been brought up and pointed out to me individually before on Discord, and that other readers may have picked up on as well from Ch 18 that are going to be important to the sequels.

She hated this. She hated hiding herself behind veils of cynical wit and aloofness just to survive—to barely endure while she festered inside. She hated her father, drilling into her how uncomfortable people could be around her. That scaring people was wrong. That friends and admiration from peers were so very important. Don’t be angry, Gazlene. Be motivated! Don’t be frightened of change! Embrace it!

Zim had never demanded change. Zim had only ever ripped out the honesty, the worst parts of Gaz that she had buried under years of practiced apathy, and embraced them with open fascination. Sick. Accepting. Conniving.

You killed an Elite, his voice whispered, a caress on trembling limbs.

She had. She remembered every vivid detail like a flash bomb. The fear. The rage. The burning resentment. The same theme over and over. That she never should’ve been there. She never should’ve been here . That something had tried to take her life over nothing . That she had every right to fear for her life. 

The flashbacks that left her breathless. The fear, genuine, and yet underlied with something she dared not admit to even herself. Years of her fathers conditioning cushioning the awful truth of his daughter. She was just a teenage girl—once a child—who should never have been formed this way.

His son had inherited his father’s bravery and passion to learn, and twisted it into a dangerous recklessness. A need for pursuit and answers at all costs.

His daughter had inherited her father’s calculating practicality, and it had mutated into a vicious willingness to do the very worst thing for the necessary reason.

You killed an Elite, she heard once more. 

But this time, a loathsome truth followed. 

And you want to do it again.

As trademark as Gaz's viciousness is throughout the IZ series in general, and in this fic, her strict restraint being pinned on her father's discipline may seem out of place with only this fic to go off of. While it can definitely be read as a standalone, it does (deliberately) give the reader pause. Professor Membrane praises Gaz in the series for being his favorite child, not for being a menace to society as a whole, so where's this coming from? Why are Zim and Professor Membrane playing devil-and-angel-on-her-shoulder in her (concussed) brain? And notably, if that's their assigned role, where Membrane is the voice of restraint, and Zim the voice of rationality, then it should be noted that Zim's voice won. This should leave you asking why that is, and if that's always going to be the case.

A funner teaser is some foreshadowing I dropped throughout the story about what mating is going to look like in this fic. I wrote a lot of what I wrote about sex, love, and marriage under a heavy veil of religious indoctrination, which distorted and I think damaged the potential creativity of my writing. Virginity-cultural stigma somehow shoe-horned its way into my fic, and I don't really want that to happen again, which means there's going to be a lot more lewd scenes leading up to a sexual relationship. We're not just gonna have our characters go from making out to full penetrative sex. That's skipping quite a few bases. I've expanded behind the scenes a lot more information about Irken culture/mating, and while penetrative sex has been established as off-limits until such a time as our two heroes may deign to bind themselves to one another for eternity, I am not going to leave you hanging in the meantime. Some hints however about what mating looks like in the rewrite have been dropped, such as this nibble in Ch 9.

As he'd briefly gone over with the human girl, irken rituals of courtship were far different than any found on Earth. There was no religious entity or documentation, and the ceremony required complete isolation for at least three days.

and

He could never have that with Gaz. For one thing, she had no PAK. Well, she did, but it didn't actually count. Any attempt to encode the PAK was pointless, and furthermore, the PAK wasn't integrated to her brain the way it was to Zim's, or any other Irken's. It held no influence, and no significance to her decisions. While Zim's PAK may bind him for eternity, the human wouldn't be bound by anything other than the whims of her fleeting, mortal affection.

I outright name the ceremony in Re:mhny2, and also plan on further establishing teasers here and there about what's in store.

Skoodge is also a big teaser in himself! Skoodge is a competent invader and a traitor to the Empire, whom Zim has explicitly expressed allyship towards. He is definitely going to be important later on.

Regarding what a clean slate looks like for the sequels, I'll go ahead and name some big ones off the bat. Again, spoilers.

In Re:mhny2, Iggins is ultimately the antagonist, but whether or not he's the or even a villain is going to be something I look forward to watching readers debate about. That's what I mean by clean slate. Iggins was inarguably the bad guy and a major shithead in the original sequel. In the rewrite, Iggins may be a shithead, but what I really disliked about the original was how one-dimensional he was. Additionally, I think it's a more interesting story not for the protagonists to overcome the antagonist in a linear journey, but for the antagonist to grab the protag's by the neck and drag them into the mud with them. What if the hero's journey isn't upward, but one where simply keeping afloat equates success? What if not drowning is the victory? Metaphorically speaking, Re:mhny2 is going to start with fearless characters and end with characters who never look at the ocean the same way again, and are wizened for it.

Whereas the original was just kind of 'watch these characters be badass and mercilessly inflict pain on a bad guy' Re:mhny2 is basically going to be a lot of character self-reflection. I love the IZ characters for their flaws, but we're not going to get real, raw growth out of them if they're not forced to take on their own misdeeds and mistakes by metaphorical knifepoint. Re:mhny2 is going to be about them and the knife. And by them, I mean all 3 of the main cast, plus Iggins.

Re:mhny3 is similar. I'm excited to write about Iggins, but I am ecstatic to get another shot about a Zim-pocalypse. Enter the Florpus gave me so much new source material about what Zim successfully taking over the Earth, even for a short while, would look like, and I'm grateful for its contributions to the finale's development. Zim is still going to take over the Earth. Why, how, and under what circumstances is drastically different, and since its release is much farther out than the sequel, I will restrain myself to only give you this single, but eye-opening question when I talk about major, complete deviations from the plot. I have always regretted my impatience with MHNY3 for many things, but mostly one:

Wouldn't it have been a much more interesting story if Gaz really didn't know what was going on?

I'll just leave that thereeeeee.

For your last question, and one that makes me laugh to even look at, I do have a mental list. I'm pretty sure this'll be the first time I've ever written it down though.

Here are my top ten cringe moments from the original series as a whole, from cringiest to least:

The entirety of every sex scene I ever wrote

Ever writing the phrase "And they hadn't even done anything yet!" during a sex scene -- this is so ingrained in my cringe that I can, even now, tell you exactly where it is in the fic, the context, and wrote it without even needing to reference the phrasing

Implying Iggins would SA Gaz while she was under his thrall, and incapable of consenting (for concerned readers, non-con is not going to pop up in my stories again, and I apologize in hindsight for any discomfort caused)

Zim and Gaz's sexually transactional relationship, especially while Gaz was 14

Gaz getting married when she was only 18 (Gaz is already going to be 18 in the sequel, and will probably be in here early-to-mid twenties in the finale)

Dib being used as a punching bag for Zim and Gaz to be cruel to for cheap gags

Making the Tallests simps for Zim for really no reason other than that I was a simp for Zim and wanted to give him nice things lmao

Tak just sort of popping up out of nowhere as a maid, and blatantly borrowing the themes of servants being 'furniture' from the anime When Seagulls Cry/Umineko

That fucking weird ass segment where I had Gaz have prophetic nightmares (?) in the third one, and wander around a castle like some sort of haunted Victorian child. Really the whole castle scenes themselves were cringe. Get rid of the castle. Wipe it from your minds.

Making Gaz and Zim essentially infallible, unbeatable, and just boring in how completely dominant they inevitably were to any problem that arose. It just sucked the tension out of every situation because I got too bored or impatient with scenes that otherwise could've been much more interesting than they were.

This ended up a lot longer than I anticipated, but I hope I answered everything sufficiently!

[blueikeproductions]

So this mystery image from Legacy was floating around:

And people were stumped on what it was or whether it was even official.

FJ DeSanto and Anna Malkova would confirm it’s legit and it was meant to be Straxxus.

Apparently the idea was Straxxus was to be the main bad guy of the proposed Legacy cartoon, and they had a lot of plans for him… but when Netflix passed on the show, Hasbro simply decided Legacy wouldn’t have a story… which explains… a lot.

I was wondering why Legacy was so weird and random with its concepts and “trilogy” if you can even call it that. Hasbro simply not having a story to go with it tracks, but I’m also wondering why they didn’t just make one up anyway. I get the sense Legacy in its first phase was SUPPOSED to, because of the loose theme of harvesting Energon and some of the character choices and gimmicks loosely reflecting it (while not his role in the anime, GF Metroplex mining for Energon for the Autobots tracks if you ask me). But like Earthrise, I guess they quietly ignored any story they had in mind and pressed on.

Going by Straxxus’s final design, I get the sense he was repurposed into Skullgrin and G2 Trooper since the body shape is similar.

But here’s my main problem: Straxxus doesn’t work as a multiversal big bad. He was always nothing more than a violent thug put into a leadership role in the absence of Megatron and Shockwave. His biggest claim to fame beyond that was creating a clone of Megatron he intended to use as his new body after his defeat by Blaster.

I’m assuming his ramshackle appearance for Legacy is intended to be a reference to this, and in fairness to the concept, his major role in the use of the Spacebridge in the Marvel comics probably was meant to tie into his multiversal role for the show…

BUT.

Jhiaxus is a much better fit in this proposed role, and indeed earlier comments about Legacy suggest Jhiaxus was the main villain, described as a Thanos type, alongside Dragon Megatron (who I assume was to be based more on his BM counterpart).

It would frankly make more sense to have Straxxus instead be Jhiaxus’ general leading the Vehicon-esque troopers against the Autobots and Maximals. Sort of the General Klump to Jhiaxus’ King K. Rool.

The other option I can see is Straxxus became a Herald of Unicron, and his role is comparable to ROTB Scourge. Unicron I believe was also supposed to have a role in Legacy as the reason the universes were colliding in the first place. I feel like this would be the most fitting, because I just don’t see Straxxus doing any thing of his own and would need Unicron to nudge him in the right direction.

Just to make sense of the Infernac Universe, I could see Straxxus wanting to access it in hopes it will smelt the multiverse to create a clean slate for himself and his Decepticons. Some fans hypothesize that Infernac may also be the Firespace dimension from Galaxy Force.

And while it doesn’t smelt anything that I’m aware, I’m sure a story could have Straxxus manipulate it as his ultimate smelting pool.

[grumpycarmilla]

wow. i didn’t think it would be an actual announcement. but lol

i had my reservations about the whole “saved” thing because it’s so strange that he (dean) hasn’t at least outlined his intentions for the trilogy (same cast and crew or clean slate). sort of right now sounds like that’s intentional.

[aforgottenmercenary]

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