#claire rambling about stuff

[genericswordsmaiden]

I just watched Hot Fuzz and I think I might've caught a case of "crush on Nicholas Angel". I had heard somewhere it was a somewhat insidious issue but I don't mind actually. He's a fantastically written character and Simon Pegg is incredible. I also ship Nicholas and Danny tho. I like the dynamic between them, they're really good to each other in a... domestic kind of way? It's not something you usually see in movies. Anyway the whole cast was stellar. Props to everyone who made this movie, it was amazing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a whole bunch of posts about this movie to reblog and fangirl over...

[petulant-plants]

I feel like a see a lot of speculation about ‘the Sun King and The Lady are the real bad guys of the story’ and ‘maybe Sarcean wasn’t so bad after all’ kind of stuff…

And I think there is definitely more going on between them that makes the story less light vs dark, black vs white. But I also think that the overall story kind of plays with nature vs. nurture (or circumstance) and that in one context someone can do “evil” and in another do “good”. I don’t think it’s bad thing if Sarcean was a bad guy who did bad things, like making and using the collar, like killing all those people. Of course I believe it’s more nuanced than a black and white, light and dark, good and bad. But just because there’s nuance doesn’t mean the rolls flip and that secretly the whole time the light were the real bad guys and the dark was fighting the good fight.

I feel like if that is the case then it might neglect all the inner turmoil the characters have had to go through to try and understand their rolls in this new old world. If Sarcean maybe actually had a point and was doing the right thing, then Will’s battle with himself and his desires doesn’t mean as much because he’s not actually fighting any dark impulses

[soft-lee]

✨whispering "poor, ticklish baby" in my ear as he's tickling my neck and thrusting into me✨

[rosenlied]

Not sure if this will count for anything but I hope she can get something this year.

[jaggedwolf]

....jaggedwolf's favored TAR team updates but with some edits because she did not enjoy the alliances alliancing! ugh!

ricky and cesar, second place! Maybe it's spatial coordination that is their one weakness, out of all their strengths? They take a bit longer at the gauchos throwing roadblock, ricky takes a few attempts at the car roadblock, cesar succeeds at the bubble soccer roadblock by deliberately knocking people over (i loved this btw, he's like "i'm just going to clear the field for myself"). but they are adaptable and steady and I still hope they win <3

yvonne and melissa, they got a bit frustrated here. I've finally figured out what mel is constantly addressing yvonne as- it's "yvo", a shortening of her name. cute. melissa got the roadblock on her second attempt (on her own, thanks). yvonne struggled with soccer but got it. they had some ups-and-downs navigating, where they got to the first clue and first detour really fast, but somehow only got to the first roadblock after six teams? gonna need them to tighten up on navigation

sunny and bizzy, firefighter moms who are bffs. they finally get to join my group of favored teams! look I love them, I enjoy whenever that wisconsin accent pops out, they say things in the strangest ways sometimes, and whoever did it got that roadblock on her second attempt (on her own)! very fun contrast to mel who seemed super focused in the car, sunny/bizzy was so damn psyched to be in a racecar!

perhaps this is hypocritical of me, but I did not mind yvonne-melissa teaming up with sunny-bizzy for the detour, because it was clearly for just one task, and they were responding to the three person alliance.

meanwhile, I hated seeing amber basically solve the fucking puzzle for angie and leticia. those two should have had to struggle it out! in the skateboarding detour, derek was allowed to tell karishma how to use the tools, but none of the roadblock participants were allowed to touch each other's stuff, and that felt fair. meanwhile, a nine-by-nine puzzle where someone who solved it can stand right in front of it with you gives too much of an advantage to alliances! fuck that, no one else should be allowed to stand right in front of it with them.

combined with the three station limit at the detour.....just ugh. it should've been a permanent station claim if you're going to do limits.

like, i would've loved to see if derek and shelissa could've reached the roadblock while angie and leticia were still there and if that would've changed things any.

anyway, I hope the next three to go out are the alliance. the only one of them I still enjoy watching is rod, because that guy crushed the bike and soccer challenges, he was having the time of his life.

[redroses07]

Just Friends // Stiles Stilinski

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader

WC:1.7k

Summary: Stiles is struggling after being controlled by the Nogitsune, and he turns to you for help. But little does he know, it will turn your friendship into so much more. Takes place after season 3. (Allison isn't dead!!!)

Warnings: Swearing, angsty as fuck, sad Stiles, kissing, implied smut if you squint?, PTSD.

A/N: HI GUYS!!! I really like this fic and ofc I hope y'all will too! This is my first time writing about Stiles and I think I did pretty well! As always, enjoy!! And comments and reblogs are appreciated. P.S. lmk if y'all want me to do a part 2 where they tell their friends (Scott's reaction hee hee) - Claire ♡

After Stiles was released from the control of the Nogitsune, things seemed to go back to normal. Well, at least that’s what one would think from the outside.

The series of events had taken a severe toll on Stiles’s mental health, and even though he did a good job of hiding it, you were the one person who seemed to know what he needed.

It all started about a week after everything happened, it was the middle of the night and you were jolted awake by the sound of your phone buzzing by your head.

You were about to hit decline but then you saw it was Stiles and feelings of worry began to stir within you.

You quickly answered, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you forced yourself awake.

"Stiles, is everything okay?"

"Yeah...well not really. I hate to ask, but do you think you could drive over to my house. I just really don't want to be alone right now." Stiles's voice was groggy, and laced with exhaustion. The fact alone that he was asking you this made you immediately agree.

You hopped out of bed, not bothering to change out of your pajamas, slipped on your slippers, and you were on your way.

Your house wasn't far from Stiles's, about a five minute drive with no traffic.

You lived directly in the middle of him and Scott, being only a short distance from each. The close proximity was the main reason the three of you had stayed so close throughout your school years.

"Friends", that's all you and Stiles had ever been. Although, neither of you could deny the chemistry between the two of you, risking your friendship never seemed worth it.

It was on this night that all that would begin to change.

When you arrived at Stiles's house, he had left the door unlocked for you so you wouldn't have to fumble around with the spare key in the dark.

You found Stiles laying on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He looked lost in thought, his eyes rimmed with dark circles. It hurt seeing him look so drastically different from the Stiles you knew, and you wanted to do whatever you could to help.

You laid down next to him, your body facing his.

"Hey..." Stiles began, still staring at the ceiling.

"Stiles, what's going on? You know you can trust me with anything right?"

"Yeah...It's just a lot to put into words." Stiles's voice cracked, which told you that he was fighting tears.

You sat up and stiles copied the movement. You were now both facing each other, sitting legs crossed on his bed. You pushed aside the unspoken vow between the two of you and placed his hands in yours. Stiles's breath hitched, and you could tell he was avoiding eye contact with you.

"Take all the time you need, I'll listen to every word." you said softly.

"I know everyone thinks I'm doing okay, but I can't even function. I can't sleep without having nightmares. I can't eat or do anything without remembering all the awful stuff he made me do. I didn't know who else to tell except you. Scott has his own set of issues, and you're the only person I trust like this."

Stiles began to ramble, and your heart broke as he did. How had you not noticed earlier? Yes, it had only been a week, but you knew Stiles better than anyone. You felt like an awful best friend.

"I'm so tired, I just want to feel normal again." He could no longer hold back the tears, the dam broke and Stiles became a sobbing mess.

You pulled him into your arms with no hesitation, which only made Stiles want to cry.

"No, no I'm going to get your clothes all wet." Stiles protested trying to pull away, but you wouldn't let him.

"A few tears never hurt anyone." You said.

At that Stiles let himself fall into you, his body going limp with exhaustion. You tried not to cry along with him, wiping your burning eyes to prevent the tears.

"It'll be okay." You whispered as Stiles's sobs turned into sniffles. He finally looked up, his cheeks wet from the tears that had escaped his puffy eyes.

You did the only thing you could think of and gave him two kisses, one peck on each cheek. Stiles lips turned up in a small smile, his cheeks still turning red despite his current state.

"I think the first thing we need to do is get you to bed." You smiled, pushing Stiles's messy hair back.

He looks at you and nods without moving from your arms. You lean back on his bed, pulling him with you. You positioned yourself to where Stiles was resting on top of your body, his head pressed to your chest. You kept your arms wrapped around him, squeezing his body in an attempt to comfort him.

As you were settling down you heard Stiles whisper your name softly.

"Yeah?"

"Promise you'll wake me up if I'm having a nightmare?"

"I promise." You replied as you reached down and laced your fingers with his.

Stiles gave you a half-hearted smile in response, his puffy eyes glazed over from fatigue.

"Thank you." Stiles murmured, fighting sleep.

"Shhh." Was your only response as you traced your fingers along his back.

"I love you." It was an incoherent whisper, so much that you couldn't be sure of his words. But something told you you had heard correctly.

By the time you went to reciprocate the statement, the room was filled with Stiles's muffled snores.

You sighed and proceeded to fall asleep yourself.

Stiles slept through the night for the first time in weeks.

After that the trajectory of your relationship began to shift.

From holding Stiles's hand to remind him that everything was okay when you were with your friends, to staying up all night listening to him talk.

You rarely got to sleep at home anymore, but you didn't mind. You weren't far if you needed something, and it helped Stiles get a good night's sleep. Yet he would still apologize every time. "I'm sorry to bother you again.", "I promise this is the last time.", when in reality you were definitely okay with an excuse to spend more time with him.

You had become his anchor to reality, and Stiles could feel things beginning to look up with every day that passed.

Your friends picked up on it too.

"So, are you and Stiles together, or..." Lydia and Allison asked when they managed to corner you at your locker one day. It was a question you didn't know how to answer. Eventually landing on, 'it's complicated.'

"What's going on with you and Stiles, I'm starting to feel like a third wheel when we're together." It was a joke, but there was certainly some truth behind it.

You laughed it off and changed the subject, but didn't forget the comment that night when you and Stiles laid in each other's arms drifting off to sleep.

Surprisingly, it wasn't you who finally brought it up, but Stiles.

It was a Friday night, and the two of you were at your house instead of his.

"Shit, I forgot clothes to change into." Stiles said as he fumbled through his backpack.

"It's all good, I have a spare pair of clothes in my drawer for you." You replied, pointing to the dresser.

Stiles smiled and laughed, holding eye contact with you for perhaps a moment too long.

"You take care of so much for me, sometimes I feel like you're my wife." It was a casual statement, but it put you at a loss for words.

You laughed awkwardly, failing to come up with a reply.

Stiles could very clearly read your emotions, he pushed the drawer shut and walked back over to sit next to you.

You tried to calm yourself, but your heart wouldn't stop beating at what felt like an unhealthy pace.

"You're my best friend..." Stiles began, taking your clammy hands in his.

"You've done so much for me in the past few weeks, just like a best friend should; but I can't help thinking that this feels like something more."

You felt as if the world stopped. You knew this conversation would come, but definitely not now. Your brain seemed to stop producing thoughts.

"Please tell me I'm not imagining all of this. I know this is a lot at once, but Y/N I love you." Stiles's voice shook from the overwhelming nerves.

"I love you too." You spoke for the first time in minutes, it felt amazing after you had heard it fall from his lips that first night you spent together.

Stiles's eyes gazed into yours, and suddenly the feeling of just your hands touching wasn't enough.

You reached over and grabbed Stiles face, finally closing the gap between the two of you.

You pulled Stiles down as you did, his body landing on top of you sinking into the kiss.

You tugged on his hair lightly, pulling him as close to you as humanly possible. Stiles fell deeper into the kiss, locking your hands together and pressing your body further into the soft mattress.

After a few minutes of pure bliss you broke apart. The air that filled your lungs was both a blessing and a curse. You needed to breathe, but the absence of his touch only made you want him more.

Stiles hovered over you, the sound of his heavy breathing was the only thing you could hear over your own beating heart.

"So I take it you're not just my best friend anymore?" Stiles giggled, pressing his forehead gently against yours.

"Nope."

You gave a sly smile before pulling Stiles down by his shirt and connecting your lips once more.

[blubunz]

YAP SESSION 3

— RE chars in general x gn! reader

《MINORS DNI!》

Tags: Sex. Just casual stuff nothing crazy. RE characters includes: Leon , Carlos, Ashley, Jill, Chris, Ada, Luis. Claire is mentioned but I don't write anything horny abt her.

A/N: I have a hunch I'm actually gonna be sick un,, not feeling so great. This is just what j think if it's based on normal stuff like no fucked up messed up situations whatever, just casual lovers making love and what they like.

Consensual.

Ok now that's out of the way, I have some preference in minds, obvi they're purely just my opinions.

Leon is like, the guy who swings with whatever you want. Rough? Yeah. He'll go feral. Gentle? Ok. He'll be so sweet, even moan for you I'd you want to hear them, in which most of the readers in my fic would love. Most of the time it's just you, you, you. Him asking you what you want. Princess treatment or absolutely feral, he doesn't have one in mind, he's just on board with whatever you want and if you don't say anything, he'll ask you what you want anyway while kissing your cheeks so sweetly.

Carlos,, grhfrgrhgrh, he's so bite-able. I think he's the soft type. Like, he can be rough, but most times, he chooses not to if you don't specify anything. He absolutely loves seeing you just getting satisfied and happy, so yes, he'd go rough if that's what you want, just not without you saying. Even when you did something bad, or if you hit him when youre on top, he'd just melt and cradle you in his arms, kissing you, and you two would have some cuddle-fuck session. In my mind, Carlos is very emotional and sentimental in his love life. I can ramble on about the same thing over and over, how he's an absolute king in showering you with too much affection.

Slapping? You're into that, but Carlos is scared of hurting you. Bondage? He doesn't want to see ropes burn into your skin, the only thing should be on your body are his marks and hickies.

So anyways, his biggest turn-on is seeing you getting so, so satisfied. This might make him indulge in overstimulation however, he keeps making you cum and seeing your brain melting after each orgasm. That's right, you don't have to think, just be happy of what Carlos is giving you — pure love and affection.

I don't get much thoughts fron other characters in a sexual way, but I'll think about it like rn. Both Leon and Carlos are hot to me so obvi they're like,, um, long, and,, the first ones I write about.

I think Ashley would be some vanilla stuff, and if you two both try to go into some kinky stuff, things just gets awkward because both of you never really know how to do it professionally, and then you two would just laugh and watch a movie.

Jill is like,, ohmygod,, she's so ourhrorhrirug. The Jill in my mind is like, into the casual stuff, but she prefers handling you as well. She mainly wants to see every once of your reaction so mind you usually sex with Jill will never be a quickie, she doesn't do it slow, but rather she just does a lot of things to finally let you go.

For Claire. No, idk, I never think of her in that way and when i think about it now,nothing comes to mind. I love her character! I just don't associate her with these horny stuff so no.

Chris, big beef guy, I like him too! I think he'd enjoy handling you like Jill. Ok, so he's be like, usually, dominant and rough, hed praise you though, but hes very rough, and he enjoys using his strength to let you know who's in charge. but like, you can put him down no matter how strong you are. One word, one pleading look and you got him all soften up and asking you if you needed anything. Usually, he's never the one to initiate too, he respects you and only fucks you when you want to. If he's horny and you're not then he's holding it in, not even letting you know. If he's not and you are, then, obviously he has the need to satisfy you in every way he could.

Ada is like, I think with how she is in the games, she'd know what you're into by now. You're an open book to her and she can read you. You didn't even have to ask, it's like she knows. It creeps you out honestly, sometimes, at how every time she knows what you need. Maybe she keeps track every month? She knows your kinks too, and when you talk to her, she's like,, "I know,," sometimes she surprises you during sex, turning the usual sex into one imof your kinks. She enjoys seeing you surprised following with the high amount of pleasure that follows suit.

Luis. A bottom.

[maybanksbaby]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ “MAYBANKSBABY CHARACTER AI BOTS” ⋆ .ᐟ

you can ask for more bots or diff characters in the box !!

⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡˖ ࣪ OUTER BANKS . . .

JJ MAYBANK

bsf!jj gets jealous over your school crush .ᐟ

he plans a beautiful date that rafe cameron ruins .ᐟ

making out in the beach .ᐟ

jj having trouble to leave bed early in the morning.ᐟ

being left alone with you school crush .ᐟ

he's fixing the twinkie looking so hottie .ᐟ

he's out the chateau for a few hours and you miss him .ᐟ

RAFE CAMERON

he can't sleep without you .ᐟ

the sweet girl crossing paths with rafe while he's sealing drugs .ᐟ

talking about business with him .ᐟ ( s4 scene )

he's mess, but not a bad father .ᐟ

he comes home to find his sweet girlfriend sleeping on his bed .ᐟ

winter hits outer banks and soft!rafe doesn't want his girl sick .ᐟ

you're sat on his lap, rambling while he stares .ᐟ

he's locked down way to marocco .ᐟ ( s4 scene )

⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡˖ ࣪ DAREDEVIL . . .

MATT MURDOCK

mornings after a heated night .ᐟ

teasing him in public .ᐟ ( nsfw )

elektra is laying bruised on his bed, you're alone and heartbroken on his kitchen .ᐟ

he's clingy, and maybe a little horny .ᐟ

you get home with blood (not yours) just to see matt being patched up by claire .ᐟ

you're too distracted to focus when he's around.ᐟ

trying to teach him how to dance ( he does know but chooses to pretend not to ) .ᐟ

he has a nightmare in the middle of the night .ᐟ

he patched you up .ᐟ

FRANK CASTLE

you throw yourself at him when he cames home, not realizing he's not alone .ᐟ

waiting up for him .ᐟ

⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡˖ ࣪ SMALLVILLE . . .

CLARK KENT

his powers go crazy everytime you kiss him .ᐟ

he's rambling nerdy stuff while looking kissable .ᐟ

he has to go. . . after a few kisses .ᐟ

[genericswordsmaiden]

Every time I discover an actor or actress that I quite like, it's an automatic thing for me to try and watch all I can find with them in it. It's a chance to find more stories I might love. It's a chance to refine my pirating abilities (what sites and extensions to use - it's also really fun in a way, thrilling). It's a chance for me to learn more English, or even other languages. It feeds in these occasional mini-crushes of mine. In other words I just think it's pure bliss. I love movies so much.

That said, am I going to watch the whole Mission Impossible series just because Simon Pegg is in four of those seven movies? Absolutely.

[lacevenom]

the pack reacting to their s/o being nerdy and a bookworm ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆. ꙳

PAIRING : wolf pack x reader

summary : request —

♡ JACOB

he acts like he’s teasing you “careful, bookworm, you’ll forget I exist” but he lowkey melts when he sees you focused.

Jacob would lie down with his head in your lap while you study, fidgeting with your fingers or hair.

he definitely tries to sneak peeks over your shoulder and pretends to understand. but gets totally lost after two sentences.

he brags to the others: “yeah, my girl’s basically a genius.”

but he buys you cute little reading lights or bookmarks from the gas station.

♡ EMBRY

this boy sits beside you while you read, watching you like you’re the most fascinating thing in the room.

he’d ask endless questions about what you’re reading just to keep you talking. If you’re reading a book currently? he’d definitely hide cute notes at the page you’re at to brighten your day.

he gets puppy eyes when you ignore him too long “baaaabe, I’m so bored without you.”

embry once tried reading your book upside down to impress you. It didn’t work, but it was adorable.

he makes you laugh so hard mid-study session you forget what you were doing.

♡ QUIL

he Constantly teases you “hey, hermione granger” but in all honesty? he is secretly in awe of how smart you are.

quil brings you snacks when you’re in study mode and tells the pack to leave you alone.

this guy gets genuinely curious sometimes and asks you to explain things. he actually is a genius himself but he just lloves hearing your passionate rambles.

absolutely sneaks goofy doodles onto your notes or bookmarks when you’re not looking.

he proudly tells Claire and everyone else “my girlfriend’s a genius, no big deal.”

♡ SETH

this sunshine thinks it’s awesome you’re into books and immediately wants you to recommend him cool stuff to read.

he absolutely loves snuggling up with you on the couch, watching you read while he plays video games or scrolls his phone.

sometimes he just lays with his head on your lap, totally content to be quiet with you.

seth ties to read one of your books once and gets distracted by you halfway through.

he absolutely tells leah how “cool” and “smart” you are every chance he gets.

♡ LEAH

she pretends to be unimpressed but secretly admires your discipline.

leah would offer to quiz you or test you on your notes.

she’s lowkey protective when the guys tease you about being a nerd “shut it, quil, at least she has a brain.”

oh and she loves reading next to you in silence especially if you’re lying together under a blanket!

she’d surprise you by remembering random facts you told her, like she’s been listening all along.

♡ PAUL

“ugh, you’re always studying,” but two seconds later he’s curled up next to you, playing with your hair while you read.

he would try to distract you constantly “hey, study break. kiss me.”

he gets weirdly competitive when you teach him something. wants to “beat” the quiz or prove he can remember facts.

paul absolutely gets protective if anyone calls you a nerd in a mean way.

bonus he absolutely carries you off the couch when you study too long and don’t sleep.

♡ JARED

jared is all charm and mischief.

so at first, he pokes fun and dramatic sighs when you ignore him for homework, playful groans when you pull out your book at a bonfire.

he’d bring you coffee or tea (whatever you prefer) setting reminders for breaks and sometimes bribes you to take study breaks by wrapping his arms around you and saying, “c’mon, brainiac, time to let the genius rest.”

♡ SAM

this men so supportive and helps keep the house quiet, brings you snacks, rubs your shoulders when you’re stressed.

he makes sure you take breaks and don’t burn yourself out.

he reads alongside you sometimes, even if it’s just the newspaper.

and he loves holding you at night while you ramble about what you learned that day.

[hsslilly-blog]

in canon it’s addison who’s aware of mcs relationship with hunt because mc is fucking stupid or whatever but claire doesn’t tell addison about it as we know. BUT. i think it would’ve been interesting if ethan picks up there’s something weird going on with claire and just straight up asks her.

[clonedchaos]

JWCT S3 Rambles

JURASSIC NATION IM TWEAKING

Okay folks, you know the drill from last time I did this. Rambles and notes I made while watching each episode. Spoilers below the cut!

Episode 1

I don’t have much to say here, I just enjoyed it (and forgot to write stuff down as I watched)

Episode 2

I wonder if Gia’s mother went to Kenji first bc she saw how disheveled he is (given his self destructive behavior last season)

Sammy’s passive aggression toward Yaz is umm… worrying me.

PYRORAPTOR FEATHER HECK YEAH

Smoothie my beloved OMGGGG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

Episode 3

Someone with chess experience plz psychoanalyze that chess scene to see if it foreshadows anything (I may be going insane)

Yutyrannus mention. PLZ! It’s in Jurassic world alive, I love them!!!! PLEASE PUT THEM IN THE FRANCHISE OFFICIALLY 

“Isn’t he magnificent?” “… Yeah??” DARIUS STOP PLAYING—

Soyona doing her dirty work in heels. What a diva.

I like how the explanation of the Amber Clave Market from dominion is explained via the catacombs. Like shipping them all directly to it would’ve been huge red flags. Makes me wonder what kinda dinosaurs are lurking around down there…

The parallel of Red being separated from her family and Brooklynn from hers… oof

KENJI WHY DID YOU NOT JUST TAKE THE POT WITH YOU?!

Episode 4

SAMMY CALLING YAZ “BABE” HOLY——-

Soyona has anger issues too… This woman both scares me and makes my crush on her grow even more. 

THE REFERENCES TO DOMINION. Well duh it’s obvious and expected, but I kick my legs and scream every time.

Baby sleeping in the apples…

“I’m over one way relationships.” SAMMY NO NO NOOOOO DO NOT DO THIS TO ME RN 

Pyro sounding like an elk is so freaking cool!!!! AHHHH *kicking my legs and screaming* I was so giddy when she came out of the darkness. 

DAMN BROOKLYNN SMOKED THAT ARM WRESTLE OKAY QUEEN!!!!

Poor Pyro getting 3 V 1, not my Shaylaaaa. And the way they curled back into the vehicle STAHP 😭😭😭😭

Nonna being the parental figure Kenji needed at the end of the episode is everything to me!

Episode 5

Gia and Nonna scolding them in Italian 😭

Brooklynn jumpscare 

Okay but seriously I hate the path Brooklynn is going down… I fear the Lythrosaurus thing is just the tip of the iceberg.

SAMMY AND YAZ’S FIGHT 😭😭 I legitimately am tearing up. These two mean the world to me, I’m not exaggerating. I don’t think this is the end of Yasammy, especially given how much both the crew and fandom love them. Some space apart can be good; relationships are never perfect. I hope they get through this and come back even stronger. We’re all rooting for them!

The Atrociraptors snuggling with the Handler… I can’t. Soyona PLEASE let them be happy!!! She cares so much for them and I relate a lot to that. “Terrifying creatures that could eat me but I still care for them.”

Episode 6:

Okay Brooklynn training the atrociraptors was kinda funny. The way they all peek their heads up the moment she’s filming 🤣

Yep. Knew it was the tip of the iceberg with Brooklynn. Like omg she was really about to kill Davi huh…?

Brooklynn why are you TRYING to piss Ghost off, she just wanted affection 😭. Hope that doesn’t come back to bite her… literally.

Is it bad I’m rooting for the handler to get her family (the atrociraptors) back?? PLZ REVEAL HER STORY SOON!!!!

Darius’s anger toward the way they’re treating the dinosaurs is so so so valid imo. 

Episode 7

THE CAT EAR HAT FOR SMOOTHIE

KENJI RAP HELP—-

The Handler being like a fnaf jumpscare how the heck is she everywhere at once

Yes Kenji, the locusts are absolutely disgusting and I hate them too ☺️

Episode 8

Pyro diving under the snow is so cool tho!!! Clever girl…

HELL YEAH BROOKLYNN AND HANDLER TEAM UP

SOYONA IN HER DOMINION FIT, SHES SO FINEEEEE 😳. The amount of happy hand flaps I did during the parallel scene. 

The car that drove by… Kayla and Claire ref??? 

Episode 9 + 10

So THATS how Soyona escaped?? 

MORE CERATOSAURUS YESSSS!!!! I grew very attached to them given the fact they were one of the starter Dino’s back in Jurassic World Evolution. So happy we see more of them and not just “gets killed by Scorpius Rex in the same season”

Blind Allo coming in clutch once more! We love to see it!!!!!

THE PUNCH TO THE STOMACH, GET HER HANDLER!!! (The toxic yuri is fighting again)

POCKET SAND

OKAY OKAY CAN I JUST TALK ABOUT THAT FACE OFF FOR A MINUTE!!!!!!! I could’ve sworn the handler was gonna get killed after Red attacked her. But the way she handled her and shut down the aggression with a few hits and diversion of the bites— She raised these animals, she grew used to calculating their movements and how to dissuade them. And her siblings coming in to back her up. Poor Red getting scolded by the Handler and her pack with little words. The Handler just leaning over to close Red’s jaws shut when she hissed at her. Ah, absolute chef’s kiss. My FAVORITE scene in this season, no doubt. 

OKAY the Carnotaurus makes sense given how “duh Biosyn would have other trained dinosaurs.”

GHOST! THE HANDLER! NOOOO! Okay I’m not kidding, I legitimately started crying… a second time. I literally cannot  deal with animal-human friendships. The way the Handler looked when Ghost was dying hit far too close to home for me. I’m gonna miss them both…

Okay, overall, phenomenal season. May ramble about it more in depth in a different post, but for now… I need to cope and do homework 🥺

[ladycremecaramel]

My BOTW/TOTK OC Ideas and personal rambles

I'm dumping all of my oc loz ideas here for my sanity because they've been bouncing around in my head for a long while.

My Zora OCs

So, I still can't draw very well, and ZoraMay is over, but I have an idea for two Zora oc's. One is inspired by @gargoylesister 's OC Littol. I never once thought about the possibility of tiny zora and I thought "Omg I wanna make one too!"

Zora OC 1's design is based off of a neon tetra. I always loved neon tetras since I was a little girl. I remember growing up with a freshwater fish tank with many fish and one that was a constant were neon tetras. They didn't always last long, but they were so pretty swimming in a school and how their scales reflected in the light. No name rn

Zora OC 2's design is based on my favorite fish. The red wagtail platy. I dunno what it is about this simple fish but they make me so happy. They were also common in the big fish tank my family had growing up. I vaguely remember always watching one swim up and down in a corner of the tank like it was trying to find a way to escape.

Also no name and might be full size or just as small or bigger than the Tetra Zora.

My Rito OCs

Some of you remember me talking about Rito OCs. I still have 2.

Rito oc 1 is Leela. Obviously I still want to keep the shadow puppeteer idea. And i like the idea of her pairing up with Harth. :>

Same bird design. The Chinese bulbul

Rito oc 2. This one would be my Ritosona. An Atlantic Puffin.

I always liked puffins. They're kind of the best of both worlds. They can fly AND swim.

My Hylian OC

My last OC . Besides my Hyliansona, Tabitha (not my real name), I have one other OC that isn't from Hyrule at all. I see her as one that can be easily put in most if not all fandoms.

I've talked about her before on my tumblr page as a potential character for the dragon age fandom and I nicknamed her Puddles.

Let's see...🤔 also I'm word-dumping big time here since she is the only OC that is technically fully developed with a backstory so I'll put this little cut-off for those who aren't interested in her and want to scroll past.

She was made for an original role-play forum that was freeform combat and the story is X-men inspired/superheroes teenagers going to a school in NYC. I think the RP was called Zankoku. This was in 2010

When I was invited to play, I knew next to nothing about how superpowers would work irl or the physics...stuff like that. So they told me to RP with a style I would be most familiar with and I chose water bending from the Last Airbender.

If I had to pick an image for what she would look like, it would be based on the cheerleader from the TV series Heroes, Claire Bennet.

Long curly blonde hair (curlier than the gif), gray eyes, tanned skin, thunder thighs, and was pretty tall for a 15-year-old teen. I think I made her height 5'7''.

Her name is April May Mickadoo and she had the powers to control water and ice (hydro and cyrokinesis). She was my most extroverted and emotional OC I think I ever created. Out of all of the characters that were created for the RP forum, she was one of the more friendly (if not the friendliest) of the Xhuman teens. She was definitely the most extroverted. Especially in the beginning. A lot of the Xteens were loners or generally stuck with one or two other characters to interact. April however, spoke with everyone thus giving everyone a reason to interact with each other in the story.

Compared to the rest of the Xteens, I think she had the most "normal" childhood. By that, I mean divorced parents, mostly raised by a single parent, moved because of their parent's work. That kind of stuff (from her POV at first). Others who discovered their abilities early in their backstory were subject to racism, bullying, being shunned, harassed in public, taken away by the government, and/or killed.

She wasn't consciously aware of her powers until the start of the RP. I was not very good at writing out combat/ fight scenes with my character in a balanced way (either god mode or weak and the RP didn't have stats, it was freeform). So because she learned of her powers much later than others, she was pretty weak with them. Physical fighting was average at the start. She did have power surges when she became distraught. In the beginning, she could only control water until a lucky roll from the mods and a very traumatic event, that she unlocked cyrokinesis. Due to other events during the RP before it suddenly died off, she obtained a 'break the cutie' trope under her belt and depression (or grieving). Depending on how things would've gone, there could've been a sanity slippage episode at some point.

There were perks with her powers. Underwater breathing, can handle the cold very well, and can turn her whole body to water and/or ice (hence the nickname Puddles). Those are the ones I can remember.

Her personality: when I say emotional, I mean she had pretty much all of her emotions on her sleeve. You knew when she was happy, sad, angry, etc. If I had to pick an alignment for her, I would say neutral/lawful good. She LOVES music. She was always ready to dance, sing, or play the piano (later on, she started learning acoustic guitar) when it came to music.

there is more of her backstory and events of the RP I'm not revealing because I want to weave it into whatever story I add her in and it would be post-events after what I could imagine more trauma that the mods had in store. For her, the rp was pretty much a trauma conga line.

[ficfield]

Counter confessions

Request: hii!! can we get a small fic about Chris overhearing reader's conversation with Claire about how she likes him and wants advice from her or something like that? i just think it'd be very sweet :). I’m thinkin maybe S.T.A.R.S era like before the traumas and all that.

Chris Redfield (S.T.A.R.S era) x Reader 

I thought it’d be cute if the reader worked at a diner, I saw somewhere that Chris was a terrible cook and would often just take him and Claire to a diner for dinner and stuff. 

Enjoy my lovelies!

The neon glow of Emmy’s Diner flickered against the darkened streets of Raccoon City, the familiar hum of the old jukebox filling the late-night lull. It was past the dinner rush, leaving only a few stragglers nursing cups of coffee and half-eaten slices of pie. Behind the counter, you wiped down the surface absentmindedly, listening to Claire Redfield ramble on from her usual stool. 

“Okay, but hear me out, Chris doesn’t know how to flirt,” she said, pointing her fork at you. “Like, at all. It’s just protein shakes, terrible dad jokes, and punching things.”

You snorted, shaking your head. “I never said I needed him to be smooth, Claire. Just…. I don’t know. He’s Chris. And I…” you hesitated, feeling your cheeks heat. 

Claire leaned in, eyes sparkling with mischief. “You like him.”

You sighed, defeated. “Yeah. I do. But I don’t know how to tell him. You know how he is, he treats me like a little sister sometimes. Just like you.” 

“Pffft, please.” Claire waved a dismissive hand. “Chris doesn’t treat you like a sister. He actually listens when you talk. If I tell him something, it goes in one ear and out the other.” 

You chuckled. “That’s just older brother behaviour.” 

“Nope, I’m telling you,” she said smugly. “You’ve got him hooked. The man practically breaks his neck turning to look at you when you walk past.” 

You open your mouth to respond, but then you heard it. A quiet shift, the slight scrape of boots against tile.

Slowly you turned your head, and there, half-hidden behind the corner of the diner’s back booth, was Chris.

Eyes wide. Face slightly flushed. Holding two takeout bags like. He had definitely not just overheard that entire conversation.

Claire turned in her seat and clapped a hand over her mouth to smother a laugh. “Oh my god,” she whispered. “This is amazing.” 

Chris blinked. Then, with a deep breath, he straightened up and walked toward the counter, trying, and failing, to act casual. 

“Hey,” he said, voice just a little gruff. He set the bags down, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Just… happened to walk up at the exact wrong time.”

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “Kill me.” 

Claire, meanwhile, was fully enjoying herself, barely containing her laughter. “So, big brother, anything you wanna say?” 

Chris shot her a look before turning back to you. “Uh, well… I mean, if you really want advice on how to tell me, you kinda already did.” His lips quirked into that easy-going smile of his. “Unless you wanna run that by me again, maybe over dinner?” 

Your heart stuttered, and you peeked at him between your fingers. “Like…. An actual dinner?”

Chris leaned against the counter, looking at you like you were the only person in the room. “Yeah. No uniforms, no diner, just us.”

Claire threw her hands up. “Finally!” 

You shot her a glare, but your smile wouldn’t fade. “Alright, Redfield,” you said, crossing your arms. “You’re paying.”

And just like that, your late-night shift had never felt so worth it.

[armageddon-generation]

The Bear Season 3 is a bridge season that feels weird on purpose, but also has some big problems: A review/ramble

Season 3 is clearly a bridge season, and suffers from having been written & shot alongside season 4. As a result, unlike the seasons 1 & 2, it doesn’t feel like a distinctive or complete chapter of the restaurant’s life. Just half of one.

This is partly because there’s no ‘end-goal’ like in S2, or clear progression/visible improvement to the restaraunt like in S1. Season 3 is about stagnation. Most of its storylines are left unresolved- the review, Sydney’s job offer, Tiff & Frank’s wedding, Marcus being inspired by his mother’s death, Tina and the dying farmer’s market, Carmy’s conflicts with both Claire and Ritchie. All these threads will roll into Season 4, and Season 3 suffers from that.

PACING, FLASHBACKS AND TONE: FORM REFLECTING FUNCTION

HOWEVER. This being a ‘bridge’, character-focused season isn’t inherently bad. Individual episodes of The Bear still tear when they want to. Episodes 1, 2, & 3 are a very strong setup for the season and establish good momentum. Episodes 6 & 8 are fantastic character pieces, and 8 in particular made me bawl. Even the finale, though bogged down by masturbatory celebrity chef cameos, was a strong episode.

The problem is all the stuff in-between. The actual day-to-day running of the restaurant feels hollow and empty now. There’s a distance between the characters and it feels like they don’t interact as a group anywhere near as much.

Part of this is absolutely deliberate. People joke about S3 'method acting' its way into bad reviews to reflect the restaraunt, but losing steam and the connections between characters is genuinely a formal reflection of the kitchen crew's moods, as the day-to-day grind of running the restaurant wears them down.

The use of flashbacks in 3x1 is excellent, but Season 3 quickly becomes way over-reliant on them (episode 9 especially, oh my god). Again, this feels like a conscious choice to reflect Carmy’s state of inertia/the fact he’s perpetually trapped in the past. It makes sense, but that doesn’t give the show a pass for being boring, and 3x9 was the first time I’ve ever felt genuinely bored by this show.  

FUCK THE FAKS & NEGLECTING POC CHARACTERS

My other problems are much more clearly the fault of the show; I do not give a flying fuck about the Faks. Neil is cute in small doses. The brothers are great as soundboards for other characters; Theo getting Sweeps to talk about his backstory in baseball, the brothers comforting Donna at the end of 3x8 Ice Chips, or the haunting argument finally forcing Carmy to talk about Claire.

But on their own? When they’re just bouncing off each-other? These guys aren't half as funny as the show seems to think they are. And their scenes drag on so long. For example, the B-plot of 3x5 Computer wastes half of an otherwise strong episode with pointless fucking around, propped up by a pointless celebrity cameo. I do not Give. A. Fuck about haunting, Mr. Cena, why the fuck are you here.

The aggravating time-wasting is made worse by The Bear continuing to neglect and underuse its POC characters. This is the second season in a row where I’ve felt Syd only got the bullet-points of an arc. She is the LEADING LADY. Ayo is now the show’s biggest breakout star. USE HER.

I really enjoyed Tina's focus episode, but unlike Forks and Honeydew last season it doesn't move the plot forward, and unlike Fishes the flashbacks don't contextualize Tina''s actions in the present because she's barely doing anything in the present, despite the show setting up her struggles in the kitchen early in the season.

Meanwhile, Ebra got crumbs again and Sweeps got a single scene, which is tragically at least better than he had last year.

Marcus’ arc this year is a fascinating microcosm for the show’s themes, but it barely gets a second to breathe because we have to cram in another five minutes of the Fak brothers arguing about that time Neil got taped into a cardboard box. It’s ridiculous. And then they showcase Nat being all protective of Marcus in an episode he’s barely in, when she barely interacts with him. It feels unearned & disingenuous, using Marcus as a prop for a Hell Yeah gotcha moment.

I liked Josh Harnett though, that casting had purpose, and both Chef Terry and Luca were used excellently.

CAMEOS

The surprise celebrity cameos this year felt distracting and indulgent in a way last year’s didn’t. In Fishes the slew of cameos were a dramatic tool meant to disorient the viewer. This year, John Cena is here to distract you from how pointless this B-plot is, and we've brought in a bunch of famous chefs to tell you direct-to-camera why cooking and the service industry are so important.

The chefs in particular are bizzare after season 1 spent most of its time telling us how evil and toxic the fine dining industry is. But now it's actually just the fault of a few bad apples, and these guys are really rad actually?

CLAIRE

Much has been said about how Claire was an underwritten archetype for Carmy to project onto. Now, I don’t much give a fuck about shipping in this show, but it’s clear Claire & Carmy’s romance didn’t connect with most people. It felt hollow. At the time, I thought this was deliberate, like the tone and flashbacks this season; Claire’s writing reflected Carmy’s perception of her as a saintlike childhood daydream who could deliver him from all the stresses of his life.

But this season, not only does the show refuse to let Claire go, it doubles down on objectifying her as a prop for Carmy’s self-loathing, trapped in his memory.

Again, this might work thematically if I knew Claire as a person, or was at all invested in their romance, but I don't and I’m not. As it stands, the multiple extended flashbacks with Claire feel like futile attempts to plug the holes in Season 2's weakest storyline, and drag their episodes down. If we’re supposed to root for Carmy to find happiness outside the kitchen, this is having the opposite effect, and it’s made worse by it all being left unresolved by the finale.

Either do something with this character or move on, because right now every time Claire appears I clock out emotionally, and that’s not her fault, it’s the way the show treats her.

CARMY THE ASSHOLE

All this contributes to an overriding problem that I again think is deliberate, but risky; Carmy isn’t likeable this season. He causes his conflicts with Ritchie and Syd, to whom he has passed down his generational trauma. Carmy's menu is the biggest thing dragging the Bear into bankruptcy. Carmy has stopped working to resolve his familial trauma like in seasons 1 & 2, just as Nat starts making headway. He functionally doesn’t exist outside the kitchen, entirely preoccupied with the past & a girl the audience doesn’t care about.

Unlike previous seasons, the few times Carmy is called out for his bad behaviour he doesn’t make much effort to listen or improve. Again, I get that this is the point. Carmy is on a low, self-destructive ebb, and hopefully when things start resolving in season 4 he’ll snap out of it. But him dragging the show down with him has consequences.

EPISODE COUNT & FINAL THOUGHTS

A lot of people are saying that S3 only had enough plot for 2-3 episodes, and while I think that’s disingenuous- The Bear has always been a character-focused, vibes-first show- I do think it should've returned to the 8-episode count of season 1. You can consolidate the same amount of ‘plot development’ into fewer episodes while maintaining the deliberate sense of inertia. Cut back on the Faks and flashbacks to give more time to the kitchen crew, and many of the complaints would disappear.

Anyway, all this to say that The Bear season 3 is not Bad like some are saying, but it is a step down from its first two seasons. It feels like it’s got lost in its own head and lost a part of itself along the way, and while a lot of that is deliberate- formally reflecting Carmy’s internal conflict- it exacerbates existing problems (underwritten POC, Claire) and creates several new ones (celeb cameos, overusing flashbacks, unresolved plotlines) previous seasons were able to sidestep.

[horlzonline]

Okay okay, so, I was walking and I randomly thought of this. Have you ever heard of Jack Stauber's Opal? It's a mini-movie stop motion animation thing he made for Adult Swim, though it does cover themse of child abuse/neglect and just abuse/neglect in general, so quick TW if you go look it up and if you do want to look it up or are looking into it my little ramble has MAJOR spoilers BUT ANYWAYS-

CONTEXT (Spoilers): In the beginning there's this girl, Opal, who wakes up at a table with her family, okay? And her family sings to her (they aren't her real family though, they're just her imagination of a good family that she retreats to after seeing a billboard ad for a burger join outside her house that portrays a happy family, and she does this so often that she deluded herself into thinking they were real for a bit, her real name is Claire, but this poor girl wants so desperately to be loved that she also imagines she is the girl on the poster. The joint is Opal's Burgers. If she were to have the perfect family, like Opal, she needed to be Opal.)

Rich Cheese is thirteen, having just escaped from the genocide her kingdom went through, she's all alone in the desert. She doesn't know where her mother is, she's injured, she's cold and hungry and so terribly, terribly scared. She doesn't know what to do, if only her mother were here, if only Smoked Cheese were here, if only anyone were here...

So she imagines that her mother is here. Why, her mother isn't just here, but all the things Rich used to complain about are gone! Suddenly, her mother has all the time in the world for her. And if Golden Cheese Cookie is here, why shouldn't Smoked Cheese Cookie be there too? And someone else! (Either Burnt Cheese or Mozzarella, since in Opal the family consists of a mother, a father, and grandfather). And they aren't just here, both of their flaws and shortcomings are erased too! It doesn't start out immediately like that, however. It begins slowly. Maybe imagining a reminder from Smoked Cheese when she debates whether or not something is safe to eat, her mother's soft words as she tries to force herself to fly. Maybe she smiles as she thinks of a joke she'll tell Mozzarella or telling herself this is all a test, and she'll pet Burnt Cheese's jackals after this. She definitely gets to Opal's level of delusion, which coincides with her new name. She definitely develops it (imo, in this AU/hc) as she slowly looses touch with her old identity. This gets us to the part I genuinely wanted to rant about, when Opal first opens there's the soft song I mentioned before. Basically: Gouda wakes up. GC: There she is! SC: Our little girl! (Either BC or Mozzerella): Hi Gouda! Then the song goes "We see you, Gouda, your troubles are miles away! We see you, Gooouuddaa, and in our arms you'll stayyyy!!!" Idk, sorry if I make this sound like I'm making your OC my OC, it's a terrible habit I have when I find a character I really like. Feel free to delete this ask and tell me to stop if you want!!

Yeah, I know all about Jack Stauber's Opal! It's a real work of art, and I can definitely see Rich Cheese wanting to comfort herself initially by mentally escaping elsewhere and dissociating. However, her canon characterization actually necessitates a lack of delusion, almost to the point of seeing simple hope as a dangerous delusion in itself at times. I actually feel like it's such an important part of her character, and I don't think I went into it deeply enough before!

Don't worry about sending stuff like this, by the way. It's completely fine! It makes me happy that someone enjoys my character so much, and it encourages me to talk more about her, even if it's for the purposes of clarifying her characterization or comparing my thoughts to how others view her. I'm well aware that other people's interpretations don't change her "canon", in a sense. It's not like you're grabbing her and saying "hey this is mine now", or treating her like a true in-game character that you can do whatever with. Plus, I still think your ideas are fun to play with regardless of if they fit "canon" or not! As long as you respect that it's my OC in the end, you're all good.

Ramble below the cut!

Okay, so! While a fun idea, I don't think Rich Cheese/Gilded Gouda would experience actual delusion in canon, and for very good reason. She would definitely daydream and wish for her family to be there when she was young, maybe imagine what it would be like if they were there, sort of like some extremely early stage of what was happening in Opal... but she stays pretty rooted in reality because she doesn't exactly have a choice. She can only be in some childish fantasy for so long before an unknown danger or fear rips her out of it. I imagine the desert is a harsh place for a child all alone, and even if she stumbles on small settlements here or there, she's vulnerable and an easy target for folks with bad intentions. She's been threatened, stolen from, or just generally made fearful without solid ground to stand on repeatedly (especially given all of the literal monsters canonically wandering around out there in the sands)—and every time she was ripped out of the sweet safety of her thoughts and fragile hopes, she was reminded of how nobody is there to help her. Her reality is a painful one that she can not escape if she wants to live without a target on her back, leading to her eventual abandonment of what she considers to be childish fantasies. I'd imagine that thinking about her wishes and comforting daydreams from the past would make her feel just as helpless and pathetic as she did when she was a child, almost like she's punishing herself for ever wishing or wanting things so... unrealistic.

Honestly, her taking on a new name could be viewed as the completion of that transformation in a metaphorical sense. She might very well agree with you if you said that while the Dark Flour War didn't kill Rich Cheese Cookie, the aftermath absolutely did... or so it would seem. Don't tell Gilded Gouda I told you this, but that damaged inner child in desperate need of support is still in there somewhere. You can't just shove all of that shit down and expect it all to disappear, no matter how much you don't want to think about or admit it. How interesting it is, too, that gilding is a time-consuming process that ultimately covers up whatever lies underneath. (Yeah, her name has like a dozen layers of symbolism because I am simply Like That with my stories. Get on my level. /j)

ANYWAYS. So basically, unlike Claire from Jack Stauber's Opal, who lives in a terribly abusive household but can at least hole herself up somewhere to try and feel safe and dissociate, Rich/Gilded has nowhere to hide. Any situation could've be life or death in her mind, and it became difficult for her differentiate the two, especially as a child. She either had to grow up fast, or potentially perish—and regardless of how depressed and victim-blamey her internal dialogue may have gotten at her lowest points, when push comes to shove, she cannot allow the sacrifice of those she held dear to be for nothing. Whether she thinks she deserves life or not, it was given to her at a great cost, and she will do whatever it takes to preserve it... even if it leads to a lot of additional guilt later on with regard to some of the nastier things she's done in the name of survival. All of that fear and focus on surviving (as opposed to simply living) makes her hypervigilant, incredibly distrustful, and an extremely light sleeper when the opposite used to be true. She struggles to relax. Ever. It's definitely a sharp contrast to her mother, given that Golden Cheese was shocked to so much as feel fear after her first confrontation with Burning Spice. To Gilded Gouda, it's a feeling she knows all too well.

Now, she does unconsciously hold onto the incomplete and childlike view of her mother and family, but that's primarily because she hasn't seen them since childhood, and the memories are distant. Her life is defined by the time before the war, and the time after. The time before and the people in it are painted with nostalgia and longing because all of that is a part of the "good times" before her life fell to pieces.

I mean, you really do start to let go of all the little annoyances and bothers when you'd take them all back in exchange for undoing the damage done. That fight with your mom seems so insignificant in the face of losing her entirely; the pressure you felt as a princess who didn't even know how good she had it is nothing at all compared to the pressures of hunger, and thirst, and exhaustion that you feel now; the embarassment that you experienced when the snarkiest general known to man laughed rather rudely upon you doing some stupid, childish thing is virtually meaningless in hindsight, and you'd be embarassed a hundred times over if it meant he'd come back. That anyone would come back. Everything was better back then comparatively, so as memories fade, the positives are highlighted. She may or may not remember some negative stuff that happened, but it's still painted with this broad, nostalgic brush either way. It's a sort of wistful fondness, you get me? Even the negatives get reframed as positives since the flaws of those from her past are not relevant to the suffering she's experiencing now, and thus, it all seems preferable in comparison. She was just a know-nothing child back then, after all. Oh, what she'd give to have her only problems be the woes of a child with a golden spoon in her mouth, protesting what she felt was an unacceptably early bedtime...

Still, recalling those distant memories is certainly very different from having your mother's flaws on full display in front of you, in the present-day, on top of all the other bullshit you're currently dealing with as you try not to explode on the woman you had once been pleading for the return of to whatever god would bother to listen.

Oh, and as a fun fact. I imagine when she curled up at night to sleep wherever she happened to be is when she used to imagine her family still being around the most as a kid. She had to get herself calm enough to sleep somehow. Didn't really make her immune to the night terrors, though...

But yeah! Man. Gilded Gouda really is my beautiful princess with a disorder (the disorder is PTSD). She's just always going through it. 😭