#christmas shopping for the crows probably

[anotherartblock]

30 day otp challenge - day 8: shopping (tanakiyo)

would you believe me if i said i didn't even plan on shading this originally lol

[thesoftboiledegg]

I went to the smaller mall a couple of weeks ago. The head shop didn't have new Rick and Morty merchandise, but the employee gave me a free snack: crunchy biscuits in chocolate and cream!

Nothing in Rue 21, Hot Topic or the nerdy store, either. I was starting to lose hope until I spotted a new holographic sign in Spencer's. Seasons 1-3 still dominate merchandise, but we're slowly catching up to season six.

Marshall's also had a pair of psychedelic boxers.

That same day, I planned to visit another head shop in the area. Unfortunately, I didn't know that a car cruise was happening on the same street, so I ended up getting stuck in nightmare traffic until I turned around and went home.

The new Tesla location was also open and showing off their vehicles. Cybertrucks are uglier in person.

A week later, I decided to give the head shop another shot. This time, the road was clear. They had a couple of items:

Initially, I passed over the coloring book, thinking it was the same book that I photographed a while back. But I opened the book and found new illustrations from seasons 4-6, including some of my favorite scenes and episodes!

Yes, I like the stupid slut dragon episode.

Anyway, this weekend brought a shock: RUE 21 IS CLOSING! 😭 OK, I wasn't that shocked because this mall is notorious for driving stores out of business, but now the closest Rue 21 is an hour away. And that's not very close!

It's probably just a matter of time before the entire mall shuts down. But in the meantime, Hot Topic had a new shirt, which surprised me because they don't get new Rick and Morty merchandise very often:

I'm glad we're getting more season five apparel, but come on, where's the Crow Witch Rick shirt? Bruce Chutback gets a shirt, but not him? Mr. Nimbus spooking Phoenix Person is pretty funny, though.

And another sign in Spencer's!

One of the nerdy stores had a stack of comics. I love this Summer (variant?) cover.

And, finally, a visit to the bigger mall today resulted in this sign.

So far, it's been a slow year for Rick and Morty apparel. Merchandising usually explodes around Christmas, but before then, we might be limited to the occasional mug, shirt or metal sign.

Or maybe they're getting ready to unleash a barrage of Crow Witch Rick T-shirts and hoodies...right?

[bey0nd-1he-stars]

3rd Advent - Christmas shopping for the crows

Masterlists

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Word count: 1011

Warnings: Mentioning of weapons

Summary: You go Christmas shopping for the crows with Kaz and then enjoy an afternoon at the slat.

“Which one do you think Inej would like more?” You pointed at two different beautifully crafted daggers. They were delicate and elegant, and both of them had carved handles, but one of them had roses carved into the blade. Kaz took a look at the daggers before pointing swiftly to the second one and you smiled as you handed the money to the woman selling them. She carefully wrapped it up in some paper before handing it to you, bidding you goodbye and wishing you a wonderful holiday.

Ketterdam was in a strangely good mood now when christmas was coming and you had been pulled into the christmas spirit as well. You’d even convinced Kaz to let you buy presents for the crows, as long as you didn’t buy anything for him. You planned on doing that anyway.

Kaz mumbled something about checking out the stand that was selling bottles of chemicals and stuff to see if he could find whatever Wylan had asked you two to get while you were out. You just nodded and decided quietly that this was your chance to find something for Kaz. As he stalked away you turned around to see that the different stands were selling and you found one that was selling beautifully handcrafted jewelry. You approached the man with a smile.

“Hello there! You don’t happen to make custom pieces, do you?” you kindly asked and the man nodded at you in return.

“Indeed I do. For the right price, that is.” You nodded understandingly and pulled out a stack of kruge.

“This is 500, will that be enough to make me a pendant?” you spoke quietly in case Kaz came back earlier than you’d expected. The man shrugged, “it depends on the design.”

“I want something discreet. A backwards ‘K’ and an ‘R’ that is put together,” you tried to explain and the man pulled out a pen and paper and began sketching something to get a hum on the design. You nodded in appreciation when he showed you the finished design after the two of you had gone back and forth a bit. He put away the sketch and you noticed how he didn’t need to touch the metal box he put them in to close the lid. You carefully leaned forward and spoke up quietly.

“Could you be able to make it stay warm at all times? Like body temperature or a bit hotter?” You glanced down at the metal box and he widened his eyes, understanding that you’d seen his slip-up. He nodded, “I’ll have it done in a week and delivered to the crowclub, I presume?” he said and eyed something behind you. Kaz was back.

“Thank you so much!” You smiled and he gave you a nod. As you turned around you were met with Kaz handing you a bag with Wylans stuff in it and you took it from his hand with a nod. Snow was still falling and you let your gaze linger on the powdered snow that fell in Kaz’ hair when he took off his hat to free it from the snow that had gathered upon it. He caught your lingering gaze and raised an eyebrow at you but let a smirk pull at his lips anyway.

“Time to head back?” He wondered and you nodded. He began leading you through the market and then eventually down the streets of Ketterdam, back towards the slat. You were walking close enough to feel each other's presence but not close enough to touch. Kaz appreciated you for not pushing his boundaries but still staying close enough as comfortable.

When you reached the slat, Kaz pulled the door open for you and held it open. You stepped inside and was met with a sight you never thought you’d see. The whole slat was covered in Christmas decorations.

Tinsel was wrapped around the bar, someone (probably Jesper) had brought in a Christmas tree and decorated it with tinsel, baubles and lights. On top sat a crow decoration. Someone had strung up fairy lights in the ceiling and tinsel was wrapped around the banister. You saw Kaz roll his eyes at the mess made but a small smile and the fact that he didn’t say anything about removing it made you smile wide.

“What have happened here?” He mumbled but smiled slightly at your reaction. You turned to him with glimmering eyes and a wide smile.

“Jesper probably.” He laughed discreetly at that and nodded, “yeah, probably.”

You’d almost forgotten the presents in your hands and hurried over to the tree to put them there until Christmas Day. Please with today's effort you headed over to the bar for a glass. Kaz joined you not soon after and Wylan and Jesper came bouncing down the stairs and gave you a walkthrough on the decorating. Warmth filled your heart for the people you shared this home with and you couldn’t stop smiling the whole evening.

Nina and Matthias made everyone some food and Inej set a table for the 7 of you. Wylan put on some music, although Christmas music was a step too far and you had to settle for some classical instead. You lit some candles and Kaz and Jesper made everyone a drink. It filled you with love for the found family you’d been so lucky to have gotten and you swore that day to do everything you could to assure their happiness. Especially during Christmas.

———

@hotmoms4life

[granddaughterogg]

men of Task Force 141 (bonus: König) VS. gift giving

Captain Price: He's used to holding the reins in a relationship, so don't expect him to ask what you'd want. You'll get a set of (stupidly expensive) racy lingerie. We're talking real silk, handwoven lace, but also cutouts in ALL the fun places. He'll want to give it a test run almost immediately after you've unpacked your gift.

Gaz: He's a thoughtful lad, so he will put some thought into this. Dropping sneaky little questions amidst your everyday convos as to gauge your needs and personal taste. He's got great visual memory, too. Remember that pair of absolutely jawdropping high heels that you've gushed over while traversing the mall once? Probably not anymore, but he does - and he knows your correct shoe size, too.

Ghost: He's never been gifted anything as a child. Presents are a pain in the arse to him. He sucks at the art of gift giving and he knows that he sucks at it, which only exacerbates his frustration. Don't expect to be treated to any in the earlier stages of your relationship - apart from his favourite foods and drinks anyway. When things between the two of you get Serious, he'll ask you out front ("What do you want for Christmas?") Just go online and send him a direct link to something practical - like a new laptop or a piece of furniture. Don't worry about the price. He might be clueless when it comes to this, but he's definitely not a skinflint.

Johnny Soap McTavish: This lad loves to give (in all possible meanings of the word.) He's been leaving you little presents since you've become close, in a manner not unlike to a friendly crow. You find lovely wildflowers or a pretty stone or something like that on your windowsill every other day. He's the "babe, I saw this while out shopping and I thought of you" type of guy. He'll rise to any Big Occasion in style. Expect to get something well-thought and custom made. Like a necklace which looks a bit like his dog tags, but is made of sterling silver and has both of your blood groups and names etched into it.

König: You'll get a book of old obscure German poetry (he did miles of research to find the best English translation available.) This lad is a hopeless romantic.

[myhyperfixationisbooks]

Who’s gonna wipe away their tears?

Spotify💙 Airbuds🫐 Pinterest📘 My parents: @wish-i-were-heather and @elysianwayy77 My wonderful pookie wife: @azzie-mazzie My other accounts: @edoria-ellowyn @blondes-do-it-better81 I’m Edoria!!! • fifteen(do NOT be weird or you’ll be blocked immediately) • bisexual • she /her • mythology nerd • reader • writer • plays piano (terribly) • cabin ? Idk sadly • def hunter of Artemis • swimmer • slytherin • speak french, german and english • theatre kid • nerd • entj • scorpio <3

Some of my favourites thing~ clothes, books, english class, music, depeche mode, the smiths, converse, lipgloss, my moots, makeup, gilmore girls, mary janes, doc martens, swimming, school(ik it’s bad), halloween, christmas, my doggie, jeans, sweaters, cookies, skiing, fall, summer, my mom, ballet, baking, candles, dark red, heels, history, movies, randomly cutting my hair, being a delusional teenage girl, shopping, the dead poets society, the 80s and 90s,

My music taste~ the smiths, depeche mode, the beatles, chappell roan, mitski, girl in red, mckenna grace, kate bush, conan gray, taylor swift, mother mother, anything disney, billie eilish, fiona apple, arctic monkeys, sza, the cranberries, lana del rey, tv girl, the neighbourhood, cigarettes after sex, marina

FANDOMS~ THE FOLK OF THE AIR • the inheritance games • shatter me • Madeline Miller verse • agggtm • riordanverse aka pjo • heartstopper • book thief • marauders • the maze runner • hamilton •marvel • divergent • six of crows • shadow and bone • ember in the ashes • stranger things • the hunger games • the neighbourhood • taylor swift • chappel roan • billie eilish • arctic monkeys • kennabears • tdps • and so many more if you’re wondering if I’m in the fandom just ask (I probably am)

If we’re moots pls text me the only reason I haven’t texted you is bc idk what to say <3

[auroralaluna]

˚ ༘♡ ·˚꒰ᥕᥱᥣᥴ᥆꧑ᥱ t᥆ ꧑ᥡ bᥣ᥆g꒱ ₊˚ˑ༄

Hiii, I’m kay and I’m a twenty-two year old female from rural america who is a witch, feminist and sapphic

I love animals, nature, the moon, ghosts, graveyards, all things vintage and antique, poetry, autumn, spooky cute and whimsical things, harry potter, stuffed animals, the victorian and edwardian era, true crime and religious imagery

Some other things about me are that I’m a slytherin, I love antique malls and shops a lot, I’m a libra sun aquarias moon and sagittarius rising, I’m very interested in herbalism, I really like horror especially the classic kind, my favorite animals are deer and bats, I love cats and dogs equally, I’m a writer and I collect antique portraits

My dead husband ♡

I enjoy a mix of music but some artists I like are lana del rey, taylor swift, stevie nicks and fleetwood mac, florence and the machine, ethel cain, dolly parton, johnny cash, tanya tucker, loretta lynn, the doors, led zeppelin, the lumineers, hozier, noah kahan, joni mitchell, bob dylan, carole king, billie holiday, ella fitzgerald, frank sinatra, amy winehouse, the cure, hole, nirvana, type o negative, the smashing pumpkins, boy harsher, the cramps, pierce the veil, rob zombie, nine inch nails, bauhaus, jeff buckley, mazzy star, aurora, fiona apple, phoebe bridgers and willow avolon

I like a lot of movies too but some I enjoy are practical magic, harry potter, little women, lisa frankenstein, bones and all, crimson peak, the texas chainsaw massacre, halloween, I married a witch, edward siccorhands, house of 1000 corpses, the devils rejects, carrie, the crow, may, natural born killers, twin peaks fire walk with me, possession, scream, the nightmare before christmas, kill bill, girl interrupted, dazed and confused, into the wild, little miss sunshine, while you were sleeping, dirty dancing, 10 things I hate about you, but I’m a cheerleader, alice in wonderland and secret of the moonacre

I am not tcc but i am interested in true crime and I do support aileen wuornos, jodi arias and probably some lesser known female criminals

If you’re a man with a porn blog, post ddlg stuff, radqueer or a pro ed blog I’ll probably block but other than that just be kind

ily women

[kkbarksdale]

Day 1- Magen’s Bay

Saturday, April 29th, 2023

Our first official day of vacay! Cody and I felt very refreshed and ready to take on a new day. Our sleep schedule was very off from traveling and also the abundance of chickens outside of our AirBnb. The chickens had no chill and would crow as early as 1am. We started our morning by venturing down to Redhook to check out the cutest little open air coffee shop called Lattes in Paradise. Little did we know, that we would now be frequenting this coffee shop for the remainder of our stay. Cody and I created a small routine of working out during the “first leg” of our trip. We would do a quick at home workout and build up a good sweat. Our first weekend itinerary was fairly flexible. We had no set reservations or excursions so we were able to change up our plans if we felt like it. Cody and I decided we wanted to venture over to Magen’s Bay first to scope out our wedding venue. We also knew that Magen’s had a beach bar and grill, and were looking forward to eating out finally. 

We drove across the island on route 33 and arrived at Magen’s. We decided to camp out around shed 3 as that would be where our wedding was taking place. There was barely anyone on the beach and it was such a beautiful day. We were in awe and excited for the upcoming wedding, and couldn’t believe this was where it was all happening. This day was the only time it rained during our trip, which actually was a blessing in disguise. It cooled everything off and kept the sun off of us. We realized in the following days, that the Caribbean sun was no joke. I actually sometimes wished it would peacefully rained again. We walked/swam almost the entire bay and just basked in the beauty of Magen’s. We finally ventured over to the beach bar and ordered a bushwacker and a banana colada. Both drinks were delicious and we decided to also grab a snack and lunch. We ordered conch fritters and were blown away by how tasty they were. For lunch we ordered a jerk chicken sandwich and a garden salad. We actually ate in the rain and had to place towels over our heads. At Magen’s, we saw a sea turtle and were harrassed by the big pelicans constantly diving into the water. Once we had full bellies and a sunburn, we decided to venture out for our next excursions on this side of the island.

Our other excursions included visiting Drake’s Seat and the Mountain Top store. Drake’s Seat was on the way to Mountain Top and was such a beautiful overlook that towered over Magen’s Bay. It was a quaint little stop and so very pretty. Cody and I were overwhelmed with joy knowing we were getting married at Magen’s Bay in less than a week. We then ventured over to Mountain Top to try the “world famous” banana daquiri. Mountain Top is exactly like the name suggests, and is at the very top of a windy, rugged mountain. This was probably when we decided we were grateful that we had a Jeep. Mountain Top was a tourist trap store but it was huge and full of cute souvenirs. The banana daquiri was amazing by the way, and worth the stop. We didn’t find alot of things we wanted there but we did leave with a new cooler sticker, a Christmas ornament, a magnet, and some postcards. Mountain Top apparently had a very beautiful view that overlooked Magen’s but unfortunately Cody and I missed it. Maybe next time we will check it back out. 

We then ventured back home to jump into the pool and relax for the evening. We cooked chicken at home and were in bed by 8:30. I’d call day 1 a huge success. 

[sparkle-fiend]

Steve loves Valentine’s Day.

It’s a holiday celebrating love and romance; the whole point is to shower someone with affection (and hopefully get laid at the end of the night). What’s not to like about that?

With girls, Valentine’s was easy. Big box of chocolates, a dozen red roses, dinner at a fancy restaurant (and maybe a little jewelry or something - depending on how much he likes her). A sweet card, for sure.

Now that he’s dating Eddie, Valentine’s Day presents more of a… challenge. 

“Ugh, what am I gonna do Rob? We walked through the greeting card aisle at Melvald’s and he pretended to puke. He doesn’t want flowers or chocolate or anything.”

He knows he’s whining. He’s slumped dramatically in the single office chair in the Family Video breakroom, spinning slowly (like a pathetic little rotisserie chicken, according to Robin). He’s probably got about five more minutes before Robin snaps.

“Why do you have to do anything? You know Valentine’s Day isn’t even a real holiday – it’s just an excuse to get people to spend money on crap they don’t need…”

“Oh my god, stop! You sound just like Eddie. Valentine's isn't about spending money, it's about... showing people that you love them. Making them feel happy and appreciated and special. It’s about celebrating love.”

Robin tilts her head and her face goes a little soft, the way it does when he says something she wasn't expecting (but in a good way, not like when he says something so dumb that her body collapses and she says he's obliterated her will to live). 

"That’s actually surprisingly sweet Steve. Okay….” she sighs and looks up at the ceiling as she thinks. “Maybe... you could try making something? He liked those cookies you baked for movie night." 

“Those cookies were terrible.” Practically inedible. Eddie was the only person that ate more than one. (Which was either a true declaration of love in and of itself, or proof that Eddie will eat literally anything when he's stoned.) 

"I don't know, Eddie is pretty easy to please. You could give him like... a cool rock, and he would probably love it." 

Steve sits upright so fast he nearly overturns the chair. "Robin, you're a genius!!" 

She blinks at him. "Clearly. But also, why exactly?" 

Eddie is like a crow. He's forever picking up little odds and ends - cool rocks, stickers, shiny bits of paper. At Christmas, he collected the bows off of everyone's presents. Sometimes, he incorporates the stuff he finds into little props and models for his D&D games, but other times he just keeps it. He's got a whole drawer devoted to his little 'hoard', as he calls it. 

Steve explains all this to Robin, who just shakes her head in bemusement. "He is so weird," she says fondly. 

"Yeah," Steve agrees. He would have recoiled from that oddity in high school - would have been worried what other people would think. Scared they would judge him for associating with someone like that. 

He doesn’t give a shit, these days. He sees the way Eddie lights up with happiness at the smallest things, so full of excitement and passion, and it just makes him smile. He feels grateful that he gets to bask in that reflected joy, like a flower soaking up the sun.

Valentines is two weeks away, which gives Steve plenty of time to collect a bounty of little treasures. He hits the pawn shop, the thrift store - he even drives out to the weird antique shop about an hour out of town, which looks like a normal house on the outside and is crammed to the rafters with knick-knacks and bric-a-brac when you walk inside. 

He also trawls the quarry, the lake, and the woods behind his house. It's tough, because usually Eddie's little treasures just look like trash to Steve. He's not a very creative person himself, but he tries hard to see the world the way his boyfriend would. 

If that means Steve finds himself debating for over half an hour on which rock is more appealing, well – it will all be worth it in the end.

———

Steve stays over at Eddie's, the night before Valentines. (At this point, he spends more time at the Munson's house than he does at his own.) 

He wakes up early, slipping out of bed with slow, careful movements. As usual, Eddie rolls over with a faint grumble, bundling himself into a burrito of blankets to compensate for the void of warmth left by Steve's absence. 

He moves down the hall, avoiding each creaky board like it's a booby trap in the Temple of Doom, until he reaches the kitchen - which is where Steve breaks routine. He sneaks out the back door and races across the driveway in his boxers, hopping and cursing as the frigid gravel stings his bare feet. 

His carefully cultivated stash of gifts is in the glove compartment of the BMW. He already has a plan for which one will be first, so he grabs it and closes the door (slowly, slowly - the sound of Steve moving around the house is familiar, but a car door slamming in the driveway at this time of morning would wake Eddie for sure). 

The first gift is a blue jay feather he found in the woods, perfect and clean with vivid blue and black stripes. He tucks it carefully under the edge of the ash tray that sits on the porch railing, before slipping back inside to start breakfast.

Thirty minutes later Eddie appears, drawn by the warm smell of coffee and the sound of bacon popping in the pan. 

He drapes himself over Steve's back and murmurs, "G'mornin," sleepily into the shell of his ear, the way he does every morning after Steve spends the night. This time, Steve balances his spatula on the edge of the pan and turns so that he can wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. 

He presses a cheerful kiss to the corner of Eddie's mouth and says, "Happy Valentine’s Day." 

Eddie groans dramatically and throws his head back, the rest of his bodyweight following. If Steve didn't have a firm grip around his waist, he would have toppled over backward; the move turns into an awkward backbend instead. 

"Stevie please, it's too early for that crap. Wait until I've had my coffee at least." 

Steve grins. He releases his hold just long enough for Eddie to yelp and scrabble for balance before catching him and pulling him close again. 

"Jesus Christ," Eddie gasps. 

"Careful," Steve says with a smug grin, laughing when Eddie shoves him in the chest and pulls away.

They eat breakfast together, and then Steve follows Eddie outside for his morning cigarette. 

"Holy shit, look at this!" Eddie turns to Steve with the blue jay feather pinched between his fingers, grinning with delight. He hasn't brushed his hair yet and he's got a smear of bacon grease on his cheek, but he's so beautiful in that moment - so full of joy it shines out of him, like a lighthouse.

Just because he found a feather. Steve smiles back, helplessly besotted. "Pretty cool." 

Eddie twirls the feather between his fingers before tucking it behind his ear. “That’s a sign that today is gonna be a good day.”

Steve presses his mouth to the edge of his coffee cup to hide his expression. “Yeah, I think so too.”

———

Eddie rolls into the Family Video parking lot around 2 in the afternoon to visit before his band practice. He strolls inside and leans against the counter, plonking a silver wrapped Hershey kiss down in front of Steve. 

“Kiss for a kiss?” he says, with a smarmy grin. Steve rolls his eyes, but he checks to make sure they’re alone in the store before swooping forward for a quick peck on the lips.

“I got you something too,” he says.

“Oh?” Eddie raises one eyebrow, managing to look both curious and skeptical. “Please tell me it’s not a cheesy greeting card.”

Steve flips him the bird before reaching into his pocket. He pulls the keychain out and lets it dangle from one finger in front of Eddie’s face.

His boyfriend’s immediate reaction is to wrinkle his nose in disgust. The keychain is a garish red plastic heart, definitely the antithesis of Eddie’s usual metalhead vibe.

But it’s also sparkly. 

Steve’s lips curl into a satisfied smirk as Eddie takes the keychain from him, reluctantly admiring the way light sparks off the flakes of holographic glitter embedded in the plastic. The cheap little thing shimmers like a ruby in the afternoon sun.

“Some kid dropped it. They never came back, so it’s yours if you want it.” (That’s technically true, although Steve has been holding on to it for nearly a month now, waiting for today.)

“Oh, well then.” Eddie stuffs the keychain into his pocket. “Finders keepers, losers weepers!” He sticks his tongue out, eyes wide and exaggerated – then leans across the counter and licks Steve’s nose.

“Gross!” Steve sputters with laughter. He scrubs at his face and looks up just in time to see Eddie wave jauntily on his way out the door, a second Hershey kiss left sitting on the counter in his wake.

———

After Steve's shift is over, he runs home for a quick shower and a change of clothes before meeting Eddie at the diner. 

He did his best to talk his boyfriend into going on a proper date, but the most he could get Eddie to agree to was milkshakes and a movie (my choice Stevie, not some lame romance).

Steve walks into the diner and spots Eddie at the back booth. He saunters over and sets the third present onto the sticky Formica table with a click. It's a small golden gear, nearly paper-thin. 

"Check it out. Found this in the parking lot." 

(That's a lie. Steve carefully picked apart a broken old watch from the thrift shop in order to extract a handful of the little gears.)

"Hey, cool! I bet I could use this in the model I'm working on." Eddie pulls the pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket and drops the gear inside for safe keeping. 

"What's the model for?" Steve asks.

Eddie launches into an animated explanation of the character he's creating for a new Hellfire campaign - a sun-worshiping priest that intends to trick the party into becoming a ritual sacrifice. 

"... and that gear thing would look pretty good on the top of his staff." 

Steve doesn't understand much of what Eddie's saying, but he loves the way his boyfriend talks with his whole body, moving his hands and shoulders and head along with the words. He rests his chin in his hand and lets Eddie ramble until the milkshakes arrive, smiling like a dope the whole time.

Eddie has no concept of time, so Steve is in charge of making sure they finish their milkshakes and leave the diner in time to make it to the movie. As Eddie slides into the passenger seat of the BMW, he says, “Hey – you think we have enough time to stop by the Circle K?”

Steve turns in his seat as he reverses out of the parking lot. "What do you need at the Circle K?" 

"Snacks! You can't go to a movie without provisions Stevie! And don't say we can buy some at the concessions stand, because the prices they charge are ridiculous."

“Well if we stop now, we’ll be late – but I’ve got some Milk Duds and trail mix…” Steve doesn’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late. Eddie pops open the glove compartment in his search for snacks, revealing Steve’s little stash of gifts. 

Eddie frowns in confusion. “What the hell?” He rifles through the pile as Steve groans.

“Shit. You weren’t supposed to see those yet.”

“What is all this?” Eddie picks up a ring, turning it over in his hands. It's a bulky silver biker ring, like the ones Eddie wears every day - only this one is shaped like a bat with tiny ruby eyes. Steve is particularly proud of that one, discovered in a box of assorted rings at the pawn shop.

Steve gnaws at his lip and runs a hand through his hair, ruining all his careful styling. "I know you hate Valentines, but I wanted to do something. Just… to show you how much I love you. So instead of the cards and flowers and stuff, I tried to find little things you might actually like. For your, you know… your 'dragon hoard' or whatever you call it."

"So the keychain and the gear..."

"And the feather."

Eddie's eyebrow twitches. He stares at the contents of the glove compartment; at the water smoothed stone from the lake and the multicolored twist of ribbon, the vivid green marble and the tiny mother of pearl locket. He looks down at the ring still clutched in his hand, and blinks rapidly. 

Steve glances nervously between Eddie and the road, hands tight on the steering wheel. He's disappointed that the surprise has been ruined, but more concerned about Eddie's reaction. He'd expected the other boy to laugh or tease him, not this... whatever this is. 

Finally, Eddie clears his throat roughly and speaks. "Actually, can we just head back to my place? I've got something I wanna show you, and I don't think I can wait through the movie." 

“Uh… sure.”

Steve's brain is buzzing as he takes a left instead of a right at the intersection. He's worked himself into a bit of a panic by the time they pull into the Munson's driveway. "Eddie, I..." 

Eddie interrupts him, practically throwing himself across the center console as he drags Steve into a fierce kiss. By the time Eddie lets him go, Steve is panting. "Wha...?" 

"Wait here," Eddie says with a wild grin. He presses Steve back into the seat for emphasis. "Don't move." 

He takes the steps up the porch two at a time and fumbles with his key to get inside as Steve watches in a daze. He has no idea what's going on. 

After a few minutes, Eddie returns to the door. He's pulled on a t-shirt with a faux tuxedo printed on the front, and he's standing straight backed in the doorway with a towel over his arm, like some kind of maître d’. He waves grandly toward Steve, beckoning him toward the house. 

Steve snorts with laughter as he climbs out of the BMW. “What are you doing?” 

"This way sir," Eddie replies in a terrible attempt at a posh English accent. Steve shakes his head, thoroughly bewildered and increasingly amused. 

He walks past Eddie through the doorway and freezes in surprise.

The living room has been transformed. Eddie set up the gaming table in the middle of the room – set with a crisp white tablecloth, the Munson’s best dishes, and a vase full of red roses sitting in the center of the table, flanked by two candles. More candles twinkle softly from the coffee table, the end tables - even on top of the tv. 

"Eddie..." Steve whispers in awe. "What is this?" 

"Well, ah... I kind of jumped the gun a little. It’s supposed to be a candlelight dinner. If we'd gone to the movie, Wayne would have had time to get all the food set up. But it won’t take long, I already cooked everything. Just gotta heat it up."

Steve’s vision goes watery, smearing the candlelight into one big blur as tears fill his eyes. He blinks hard to clear them. “I thought you hated all this stuff.”

Eddie shrugs and rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Well, yeah I do. But you love it. So I wanted to surprise you.”

Steve grips his boyfriend by the front of his ridiculous t-shirt and pulls him into a bone-cracking hug, before pulling back just far enough to kiss the breath from him. 

In a pause between kisses, Steve rests his forehead against Eddie’s and laughs a little breathlessly. “What made you change your mind about the movie?”

Eddie bites his lips, already swollen from kisses. Steve can’t tear his eyes away.

“I don’t know. When I saw all that stuff you collected for me…” he clears his throat, staring at Steve with wide dark eyes. “I’m… I know I’m weird. I’ve known that my whole life. I never thought I would find anyone that would tolerate me, let alone… celebrate me like that.”

He kisses Steve again, sweet and soft. “I couldn’t sit and wait for two hours after that. I had to get you home and show you how much I love you.”

“I love you too.” Steve smiles against Eddie’s mouth. “You know… I’m not really hungry yet.”

“Oh yeah?”

Steve trails his hands down Eddie’s chest, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans and tugging. “Mm-hmm. I think we need to work up an appetite first.”

Eddie laughs in delight. “Sounds like a good idea. You know how much I like dessert before dinner.”

A happy Valentine’s Day indeed.

[the-clumsywitch]

A Very Basic Affordable Witchy Christmas Gift Guide

So, you've got a witchy friend or significant other and your frazzled, what the hell do I get them? And you also don't want to spend an arm and a leg on that gift, look no further My Dear!

Affordable Crystals

Clear Quartz (Can serve in the place of all crystals, this may not resonate with everyone though), Rose Quartz (love), blue quartz (peace & calming) amethyst (psychic protection & intuition), black obsidian (protection & grounding)

Note: Each of these crystals have more than one purpose/correspondence, often overlapping another, these are just the most common correspondences.

Affordable Herbs

This category of gifts is incredibly simple, as most witches do not care if they're herbs come from a metaphysical store or a grocery store. However some do prefer organic, especially when burning them. For this type of gift you don't just have to focus solely on herbs found in a bottle, you can also purchase tea bags. Tea bags can come in handy when you are looking for an herb that you would otherwise have to visit a health food store for or order online. Just rip it open and use it in your spell. Below are some affordable tea brands 🫖.

Carrington Teas

Celestial Seasonings

Dollar Tree's brand (in my opinion the only ones that taste good are the black and green teas but all of them can be used in magick.)

Pretty much any store brand of tea.

Cauldrons

Everyone's needs for cauldrons are different, some people need itty bitty cauldrons, others need large ones, some want them only for burning and others want to cook in there's. Either way, these are the most affordable places I've come across to purchase both.

New age imports (For smaller cauldrons, typically no bigger than 5 inches)

Yogi depot on Etsy (Medium sized cauldrons up to 7 inches, which is actually much larger than you would think. I think they sell smaller ones too.)

CindysEyeofthemoon on Etsy (She sells small cauldrons and large ones, with feet and without them and if I'm not mistaken they're all food safe! Not to mention, her customer service is top notch!)

Magick.com

Incense & Candles

Would this even be a witchy Christmas list if I didn't add candles and incense?

Magick.com

Shopafrocosmetics on Etsy

Dollar Tree

Craft stores (See if your craft store has coupons or an app that has discount codes)

Books

Five Below (All of their books I've come across are excellent for all levels of magick. You won't find books about more advanced magick though.)

Barnes and Noble bargain section (which actually carries a lot of the same stuff as Five Below just in hardback.

Books-a-Million or BAM (Which also has an amazing bargain section!)

Magick.com

More Wonky Affordable Gifts

A jar or bag of pennies and other coins (I'm starting to think witches are just crows in disguise because we really like shiny things.)

Coloring books and crayons (Inner child healing anyone? Actually, probably only do this if they are doing inner child work.)

Salt and a jar to put it in (I know this might sound weird, but it's yet another thing no one ever brings up about witches, we freakin' love salt!)

Charcoal Tablets for burning loose incense

And don't forget...

One of the greatest places to look for witchy gifts can actually be at the thrift store or charity shops. My favorite shop has soooo many things that almost any witch would love to have, swing top bottles and jars, gorgeous crystal glasses, candle holders, candles (Did I mention how we really do love candles?). I've even purchased a cauldron there and the best part about thrift stores/charity shops is that you're helping the environment and you'll never know what you will find!

I hope this little list helped you! I come across witchy Christmas lists too often that only have pens and notebooks as affordable options (which I think any witch would agree are always welcomed). Or will tell you which gifts to buy but not where to find them. For this list I wanted to focus on where to find these witchy items affordably. If you have any other witchy Christmas gift ideas please feel free to comment on this post!

⛄Merry Christmas!🎄

- Erika, The Clumsy Witch

[animefankotaro]

Trans Hiro (Big Hero 6)

Hey, Baxmax.” Can you hand me my hoodie.”

“Certainly, Hiro.” He gave him his hoodie which he put on.

Hiro was a teen boy living in San Frantokyo. He lived with his Aunt Cass who owned a little shop. Hiro was also a hero. He was part of a team called Big Hero 6. There was him, Fred, Go Go, Wasbi, and Honey Lemon. They saved the world from all sorts of bad guys all while doing their homework. He still missed Tadashi though. He knew Tadashi was looking down at them proud. As he was remembering Baxmax was looking at a photo. He was examining it looking at it's details. He than walked up to Hiro and held it to him.

“This is an interesting photo.” Baxmax said. Hiro looked it it. It was a photo of him, Takashi, and Aunt Cass. It was from a few years ago. Before he became Hiro.

“Yep. That was when Tadashi, Aunt Cass, and Me went to New York. It was a lot of fun. Though there was one part where I threw up because we were on a big skyscraper. That was embarrassing. Still, it was a good vacation.

“You look different here.”

“That was before I became myself.” Hiro said. “When I was still a girl.”'

“Yes.” Baymax replied. “Takashi programmed me to know of your transition.”

“That was good of him. Always thinking ahead.” He looked at more of the photos. “Here's another one at a birthday party a little but before I transitioned. It was a lot of fun... Until I ate too much candy and threw up. Here's a photo on a Christmas a few years ago. That was a great Christmas. I got a kit where you can make your own robot. It's what got me into robots in the first place. Here's me and Takashi with our parents. It was the last photo we took with them before they died. Now Takashi is with them.” Hiro looked a little sad now.

“While I already know the story of how you came out to Takashi maybe if you told me personally it would make you feel better.” Hiro looked at Baymax. He supposed it wouldn't hurt to so that.

“Alright. I was 10 years old when I told him. I was depressed about the way I looked and he did seem to notice. We were always close so I knew I would tell him first. Hiro closed his eyes to remember it all.

Hiro was in his room playing video games when Takashi came in.

“Hey, sis.” He said. What are you going?” Hiro cringed at the sis a bit.

“Just playing some games.”

“That's neat. What are you planning on going later?”

“Probably this.” Hiro shrugged.

“Not anything else?” He smiled.

“I wasn't planning to.” Hiro said knowing Takashi was planning something. But what?

“Well that sounds great. Though I know something better.”

“Like what?”

“Much better.”

“What?”

“A million times better.” “Takashi what is it?” He took out to pieces of paper and showed them to Hiro.

“No way.” Hiro was astonished.

“Yep. Robo-Cage Battle. Front seats. With the best players in town playing.”

“How'd you get these?”

“I had a little money left from my last project.” He crossed his arms.

“And front seats too.”

“Yep. If we're lucky some of the robo parts will land near us. A little something to take home. So what do you say?”

Heroe got up from his seat and smiled. He stuck out his arm and the two did their little knuckle touch. Later on they want to the place it was at.

“So you got any bets?” Takashi asked Hiro.

“I'll bet you the last piece of Aunt Cass's chocolate pie that the Stingin Grasshopper will win.

“I think it will be the Omega Boxer.”

“You'll on!” Hiro said.

The Omega Boxer sprung forward and quickly threw it's arm forward. But the Stringin Grasshopper jumped up high and laded on the other side of the ring. The Boxer then went backward and did another throw only to miss again. The Omega went went up fast and threw it's arm again hitting the grasshopper.

“Yeah. I won!” Takashi cheered.

“Not so fast.” Hiro said.

While the crowed cheered the Grashopper brought out a stringer and went it though the Boxer ending it. The grasshopper won.

“You knew that would happen, didn't you?”

“I might have gotten some pointers.”

As they left Takashi got them two hotdogs to eat.

“Eating that pie always gets met to add a couple pounds anyway.”

“I'll spilt it with you. Hiro said.” They ate their hotdogs.

“Takashi. Can I tell you something.”

“Hmm.”

“Would you like me as your brother?”

“Yeah, I won't see why not. In a way you kind of are.”

“I- I wish I was.”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm a boy.” Hiro said quietly. “I've known for a while but I've been to nervous to tell anyone. I want to be more like you. You're my hero and I can't see being inspired by anyone else. I want to be your brother for now on.” Hiro finished. It was silent a moment.

“I was wondering when you were going to tell me.”

“Huh? You knew” Takashi nodded.

“Of course. I'm your brother after all. I can tell something was bothering you for a while. It took me a while to fond out but when I did I knew it was true.”

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“I wanted you to. So you can show how strong you've become. And you have. In a way you're my hero.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you have name yet? How about Hiro? My brother Hiro.”

“Yeah. I like that.”

“Me too.”

Back in the present Hiro finished his story.

“And just like that you were a boy?” Baymax asked.

“Well it took some time. We had to tell Aunt Cass and change a lot of things and have doctor visits. But yes I became a boy. I told the guys overtime. Of course they knew too as Takashi once told them.”

“I'm glad they were fond of you.”

“Yeah. They're great. Aunt Cass too.

“Hiro?”

“Yeah”

“How about a game of Robo- Cage battle?”

“Yeah. Let's go.”

[seven-waters-hc]

hi, I was wondering if you could do a romantic x reader headcanon about spending christmas with roronoa zoro (like ice skating together, zoro helping the reader bake christmas cookies as he flirts with her, and the reader and zoro secretly buying a gift for each other, spending some alone time in the crow's nest together having a cup of hot chocolate, and sharing their first kiss under the mistletoe)!

Of course! 🌺

Spending The Holidays With Zoro

「Zoro x Fem!S/o」

You were nervous about spending Christmas together with Zoro since he never seemed too fond of the holiday, but he surprised you with how open he was to celebrating with you. You were thrilled when he agreed to go out with you and do whatever else you wanted for the holiday, and you planned to take full advantage of his compliance.

✧˖° Finding the right gifts for everyone in the millions of little shops lining the town streets took hours. Your feet hurt from all the walking you had to do, and your arms ached from lugging around as many bags as you could. Zoro had taken some from you, which you were eternally grateful for, but you had to give up for the day and retreat to the Sunny out of exhaustion. You prayed everyone would like their gifts, especially with all of the effort put in to getting them.

✧˖° Wrapping the gifts was almost as much of a hassle as getting them, especially since you had to try and teach Zoro how to curl ribbons and fold the wrapping paper over sharp corners. He was terrible at it, but he definitely showed improvement with the last gift he wrapped compared to the first one. The end results were totally worth it, with the sparkly red and green paper gleaming under the lighted tree inside the ship.

｡.*♡ Baking cookies was another thing you wanted to do, regardless of Sanji’s insistence that he would bake them again this year. Getting out a small recipe you had, you dug all the ingredients out of the fridge, and dug a little deeper to find a collection of cookie cutters. You both got the dough made and rolled out on a floured cutting board before taking the cookie cutters and getting to work.

｡.*♡ Icing the cookies was much harder than Sanji made it look, and both of your cookies looked like melted, sad versions of the crew. At least everyone said they tasted good, which neither of you could disagree with, especially when paired with some of Sanji’s hot chocolate.

･ﾟﾟ･｡ . Staying up late was probably your favorite part of celebrating though, just beachside of how peaceful and relaxing it was. You joined Zoro on his night watch like you always did, but this time bringing along with two mugs of hot chocolate and whatever was left of the cookies you made. Watching stars and snowflakes pass by from the windows of the crows nest was mesmerizing, and Zoro watching with you only made it better.

۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ Once you had docked at another town, you seized the opportunity you previously missed to go ice skating. Getting tickets and skates took forever since everybody else wanted to go ice skating on the same day, but you eventually got to the rink.You weren’t graceful on the ice by any means, but you could still skate around.

۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ Zoro got used to it pretty quickly and soon both of you were circling the rink like everyone else. You went faster and faster, trying to see who was the better ice skater, but you ended up falling ass-first onto the ice. If your cheeks weren’t red from the freezing air of the ice skating rink, they definitely would be from the embarrassment of falling. But you picked yourself up pretty and kept going, ignoring your boyfriend’s snickers. Eventually Zoro slipped and fell over too, so you didn’t feel bad about falling after that.

*･༓☾ As Christmas got closer, Franky had taken up the challenge of decorating the ship, which everyone had helped with, you included. Holding the ladder for Zoro to staple down strings of lights and putting mistletoes all around the Sunny were your favorite parts, especially the mistletoe hanging. You knew where every one was, and Zoro just happened to be clueless their locations, since you made sure to string them high up in unnoticeable corners and doorways.

*･༓☾ It had taken no effort to lead Zoro to the mistletoes you hung when all you had to say was that you had to show him something. You couldn’t help but smirk when you had stopped in your tracks and pointed up towards the small plant, the irritated grimace on the swordsman’s face greatly pleased you, and only made the kiss you dragged him into even better.

❅*⋆⍋* But after all that time of preparing to celebrate, the day had finally come. You had woken up to Luffy’s excited shouting over the long-awaited holiday early in the morning, and quickly joined everyone on the deck, where the presents from the crows nest were layed out. As soon as everybody was present, wrapping paper flew everywhere, surrounding everyone and excited thank you’s were exchanged.

❅*⋆⍋* Tapping Zoro, you hand him a small box you had kept under your bed. His eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he quickly unwrapped it, and smiled at the katana cleaning kit you had got him, and laughed when you told him how hard it was to find it.

❅*⋆⍋* He then dug through the pile of presents and pulled out the one he set for you, placing it in your lap. You grin with barely contained excitement and rip into the paper and packaging, pleased to find a set of self care items and some makeup.

❅*⋆⍋* “Thought you would like this since you always look at this when you’re shopping, hope you like it.” You told him you loved it and thanked him for the gift, which he was glad to hear.

Everyone was happy with what they got, and you spent the rest of the day hanging out with the crew. You couldn’t wait to spend next Christmas with Zoro.

Ok.. maybe that was a bit too long (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) but I had fun writing it so whatever.

Thank you for requesting and happy holidays! <3

[kenzumekodma]

pairing: kenma kozume x gn!reader

wc: 1819

warnings: fluff, probably canadian spelling, no beta we die like men

a/n: happy holidays, and merry christmas eve to those who celebrate! this is my submission for my au-dvent collab, my chosen au being the ever classic coffee shop. as with all my fics, regardless of if they’re fluff or smut, please do not interact if you’re either under 18 or don’t have an age in your bio

find the rest of the collab masterlist here!



Working a closing shift on Christmas Eve is certainly less than ideal. You’d thought as much when you first saw your schedule two weeks ago, and you thought so when you walked into work this afternoon. Still, you’d thought, if there’s any upside to it, it’s that hardly anyone would want to be out at a café in a snowstorm the night before Christmas. Not when they could be home with their families

You really wish you’d been right when your last coworker leaves for the evening. At 7:30 on the dot, she left you with the only seated table in the whole shop and an apologetic smile, mouthing I owe you, sorry! through the frosted glass as she walks to her car. Sure, the table’s not particularly rowdy, but as time ticks on, they’re no closer to leaving at 45 minutes to close than they were an hour ago.

You close up as much as you can without drawing their attention. One by one, the desserts and various teas and coffee blends are put in the walk in fridge, organized, and shelved as neatly as you can manage. All that’s left is the last slice of apple pie you’ve been eyeing since you walked in for your shift. Your manager had promised that if it was still there at the end of the night, it was all yours, and that thought has gotten you through countless boring hours since the sun set.

“C’mon, open mine!”

You look over to the table of men you’d nearly forgotten were there. The excited voice looks to belong to a tall, muscular man with a kind face and golden eyes.

“Okay, okay, I’ll open it. You have no patience, Bokuto,” a smaller man replies. His tone is deadpan, but the grin he can’t hold back betrays him.

His hair is tied back out of his face, black fading to blond, and gold eyes, you’ve never seen a man so ethereally handsome in your entire life. He tears into the wrapping paper of the box in front of him, revealing a clamshell case that has the telltale red spine of a Switch game, and he smiles wider.

“Is this why Akaashi was going through my game collection last week?” he jokes.

“Maybe! I had to make sure it’s one you didn’t already have, Mister I-Literally-Own-A-Gaming-Company,” the man with the spiked hair shoots back. “Do you know how hard it is to shop for a pro gamer?”

“I shop for myself all the time, it’s not so bad,” the slender, apparent gamer counters. “Thank you,” he says to Bokuto, sliding the game into his bag. You notice the table’s more wrapping paper than wood, your cue to offer to clean up. You walk over to their table with a well practiced customer service attitude.

“Everything’s tasting alright?” you ask, and the men nod. “How about that paper? I can get that out of your way for you.” The two men with dark hair, one with remarkably styled bedhead and the other with striking blue eyes and glasses, gather the paper together into a manageable ball and pass it to you.

“Could I get another coffee?” asks the bespectacled man.

“Sure can,” you say, and you make your way back to the coffee bar.

“Akaashi! It’s half past nine at night. You’re going to be up all night if you have another one,” the one with the rooster-like hair crows.

“I’m 26, Kuroo. I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Akaashi responds.

You giggle to yourself at their banter, looking up from across the room to watch them. People watching has always been one of your favourite parts of the job, just watching people interact together but separate, inhabiting a shared world alone.

These guys, you think, act kind of like a family would. They act like they’ve known each other since they were kids, and you don’t even mind that you’ll probably have to pick up a handful of straw wrappers that look like they’ve been blown across the table. In a way, it makes your heart yearn to be with your own friends. You know your friend group had already set up plans for the day after Christmas and for New Year’s Day, but you can’t help but miss them. A longing glance to that piece of pie you’ve been pining for all afternoon fills you with confidence, and you slide it onto a plate.

“Your coffee,” you say to Akaashi brightly, setting it down in front of him.

“Thanks.”

“And, this is on the house. You, uh, just kind of seem like an apple pie kind of guy,” you say with as much confidence as you can muster, setting the slice of pie in front of the man with the bun. He looks up at you, pink dusting his cheeks.

“Thanks. It’s my favourite,” he says quietly. Kuroo notices his friend’s reaction and steps in quickly.

“Why don’t you join us? It’s our fault you’re still at work this late on Christmas Eve, the least we can do is invite you to stay,” he offers.

“I, uh,” you pause, but think what the hell. “Sure, thanks.”

You flip the sign on the door to say closed before you sit and chat for a while. You learn they really are a family of sorts, friends from nearly a decade ago when they played volleyball together. Now, only the man with the spiky hair, Bokuto, still plays. And really, you think, he’d need that kind of energy to be on the court. Of the other three, Kuroo works behind the scenes in promotion for the Japan Volleyball Association, Akaashi works as an editor, and the last man, who you’ve come to learn is named Kenma, he’s a jack of all trades in the gaming world.

Before you know it, it’s time to lock up and go home. Your new friends wait for you outside the door as you put the last few things in their places, flick the light switch, and finally lock the door behind you. With everything going on, you hadn’t noticed just how much it had snowed since you came in until now. You groan out loud, realizing if the sidewalk plows haven’t come yet then they’re not coming at all.

“This is fine, this is fine,” you mumble as the wet chill from the snow soaks its way through your jeans and socks. You hear a soft voice chuckling, and you turn around to stick your tongue out at the offender. Kenma’s laugh gets louder as a snowflake lands smack dab in the middle of your tongue.

“Y’know, I think it’s good luck or something to get hit in the face by a snowflake. Can’t hurt to make a wish, right?” Kuroo pipes up. You roll your eyes, but close them and make a quick wish anyway.

The five of you fall into an easy rhythm, the men having offered to walk you to your bus stop so you wouldn’t be cold and alone. Akaashi, Kuroo, and Bokuto form the front line as you and Kenma fall behind.

“What did you wish for?” he asks.

“I can’t say, not before Christmas at least. You know if you tell someone it won’t come true!”

“Do you think it will?”

“I really hope so,” you smile, hoping you can brush the heat rising to your cheeks as a response to the cold. You walk a few more minutes in a comfortable silence before you set eyes on the familiar scene of your bus shelter.

“Well, this is me,” you announce. “Thanks for everything, I’m glad to have met you,” you say, smiling. “Get home safely, okay?” you add, waving as you walk to the doorway of the shelter. Kenma’s friends wave back. Just before they start back off on their own way home, you feel a tug at your sleeve.

“Let me know when you get home safe, too, yeah?” Kenma insists. He holds out his phone with a new contact page open.

“Yeah, alright,” you say, smiling despite the sudden shyness. Taking his phone from him, you input your contact details. You look up and notice he still had his eyes on you, a soft look crossing his face. From behind you, you hear someone clear their throat.

“Not to alarm you or anything, but if either of you would look up instead of staring at each other, you’re under mistletoe,” Akaashi says. Simultaneously, you and Kenma look up.

“He’s right,” you say quietly. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” you add quickly.

“Can I, uh, can I kiss your cheek?” Kenma asks, and you nod quickly. His lips are soft and warm against your freezing cheek, and you swear from the few seconds of contact your body starts to feel warm and tingly. You really wouldn’t mind having the faux-blond kiss your cheeks again sometime soon, but you don’t say as much out loud, opting instead to take his hand in yours as you press his phone back into his slender fingers. Kenma’s eyes dart back to his friends who are quietly cheering him on.

“Thanks,” he murmurs.

“No problem,” you reply, taking your bottom lip between your teeth gently.

“Be safe, alright?”

“I will be, I promise. You’d better be, too.”

“I will,” he promises, and he’s off with his friends again, trekking through the snow to the warm shelter of home.

The bus ride home is a quiet one. Every so often, you’ll think about the mistletoe and a little smile will tug at the corners of your mouth. It’s a short while before you arrive at your front door, stomping your boots to clear off the excess snow. Almost as if it has a supernatural sense of timing, your phone rings with a text message.

unknown number: did you get home alright?

unknown number: it’s kenma, by the way

y/n: just walked in the door!

y/n: what about you, did you get home ok?

kenma: i did :)

You smile at your phone. Setting it down on your bedside table, you shuffle around your apartment to get ready for bed. It’s just about midnight when you hear your text tone go off once again.

kenma: it’s 12:01

kenma: technically christmas. did you get what you wished for on the snowflake?

You think back to earlier on in the night when you wished you’d be able to talk to Kenma again tomorrow. Technically, as he had pointed out, today, now. Maybe Kuroo was right and it was good luck to wish on a snowflake. Or maybe this was the only present you’d be getting from Santa now that you’re an adult. Either way, your night is ending so much more perfectly than you could’ve imagined when you woke up this morning.

y/n: i just did. merry christmas, kenma :)

kenma: merry christmas :)

taglist: @ochakoakabane @jozhenji

not officially on the taglist but my life’s work is menacing her lovingly: @patchworkpuzzle

[justdaphne]

The Crows shopping for Christmas

it’s beginning to look a lot like ✨CHRISTMAS✨

Jesper:

He practically runs into the store while dragging Wylan

“CHRISTMAS MUSIC”

*singing session part 263728738273 with Nina, Wylan and Jesper

Jesper would buy unnecessary shit. Take for example: a snowman balloon.

“I’m buying Kaz this Santa costume.”

“No”

Well Kaz, you’re too late. You can’t change Jesper’s mind.

Jesper is the one that suggests the mistletoe. He also wants to hang them everywhere in the Van Eck mansion

Nina:

Nina just randomly starts singing in the store

“I DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS”

“Zenik no”

“Grinch”

Nina just randomly takes pictures with the decorations and heavily suggests to buy them all because “it’s cutee!!”

She would buy those weird props because “it’s funny” a lot of them just don’t make sense lol

“MATTHIAS OH SAINTS WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SWEATER”

“YES”

they get matching sweaters.

And also everyone else

Nina just puts almost all the decorations in her shopping cart for the decorations in the crow club. Who cares about Kaz saying no. OH AND ALSO FOR THE PARTY SHE’S PLANNING. let’s not talk about the huge Christmas tree sitting inside the cart.

She also buys so many outfits

Matthias:

Matthias actually shows his excitement this time lmao. He loves Christmas it reminds him of home

He helps Nina pick the decorations but sometimes can be very picky and “judge-much”

“Its tradition Nina”

“Yeah whatever we’re doing it my way. Our“

He would tell them about the traditions he had in Fjerda during Christmas

“Sounds fun I guess”

“ITS THE BEST”

He puts whatever reminds him of home in the cart with Nina’s approval

“EH WHAT IS THIS-“

“well in fjerda this is tradition”

“Matthias my love, do we have too?”

“Yes”

“Fine”

Imagine him going teary eyed over the decorations. Because yes

“This is the only thing I like about Ketterdam I guess”

Wylan:

He’s multitasking. Going for the decorations AND also presents for everyone. Maybe also food

He basically is Jesper’s self control. “Jesper no we have that.”

But I guess it wasn’t enough- he still bought it 💀

He buys those expensive goodies without realizing lol.

“Wylan- These are so expensive?!??”

“Oh what- oh eh”

He’s really going for all lights. Fairy lights, Christmas lights, you name it

And a new Christmas tree. For his personal touch.

“Wylan why are you in the electronic section-“

Wylan’s definition of shopping is literally I see it I like it I want it I got it. Like- he doesn’t really care

“This seems nice for ...”

*adds to cart*

Inej:

Inej doesn’t buy a lot of stuff. She only buys what she really really wants.

“You want it?”

“I guess so”

“Then get it then I’ll pay”

“...Thanks Kaz. But I thought-”

She’s just trailing after the others, slowly looking at the items

But everyone just scattered so she’s just with Kaz making sure he doesn’t leave lol

She’s probably looking for gifts for others because she doesn’t know what decorations look

and baking supplies/ingredients because she wants to make gingerbreads

She gets whatever’s nice for the crow club. Kaz grunts behind her but is he really gonna tell her no?

Kaz:

He got dragged by Inej to come

Since everyone else scattered around the store he’s left with Inej. he’s glad

lmao what they do basically is *poke* things.

Lmao they’re awkward af. Not surprising really

Kaz gets so annoyed with Jesper and Nina because they buy the most stuff and most of them are useless. “Especially the Santa costume that I’m not gonna even be seen dead”

“I’ll make Inej make you wear it”

Kaz’s hands gripping tighter on his cane sjsjsj

Even though he dislikes the whole idea of Christmas, he insists on paying whatever Inej wants

and presents for inej and maybe just maybe the others too. Just maybe

Kaz and Inej end up in the nearest Starbucks for coffee 💀

[gothickyle]

“ 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦“

𝗞𝗔𝗭 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗞𝗞𝗘𝗥 𝗫 𝗙𝗘𝗠!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚: 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲

(Short oneshot)

Kaz Brekker has never been the type of person to socialize with others,only those close to him. But for the past few months,he’s been writing away to a stranger he gets letters from. He never in his life thought he would do something like this,but here he is….writing another letter.

In these letters, he writes about how he feels,his fears,weaknesses,traumas,worries…the list could go on. The stranger as well. Brekker sometimes wonders the identity of this person but he stops himself at times because he doesn’t want his desire to meet the person to ruin what they have.

It’s crazy a a much of letters,can make two people so close. It’s like they know everything but keep pushing each other’s identities away.

This all started when Kaz decided to write a letter on how he feels, he read somewhere about how writing how you feel and seeing the letters later after many years, reflects on how you’re doing. He didn’t think much of it at first but he got bored one day.

He put random address after he was done, he felt stupid after what he just did and found it cliché. After a week he got a letter back. He never expected it. On the back it was singed by -V

The crows started to notice.

How sometimes Brekker would leave without a word to the post office with a box of gifts and a letter and receive the same back.

Now the latest gift, a cane for Valentine’s Day.

It was a regular morning for the crows, Nina eating whatever Matthias was cooking. Inej and Wylan making plans to hangout, and Jesper looking at himself getting ready. 

The doorbell rang and Jesper went to get it, “Brekker residence?” Said the mail man. “Yes?”

“Please sign here.”

Jesper signed and got a big box handed to him by the mail man. He went back to the Kitchen, where everyone was.

“Has anyone ordered something these past few days?” Jesper asked and out the box on the table. “It says ‘To K from -V, I hope you enjoy what I got for you and have a nice day with your friends on the day of love.”

Kaz came in and just got the package and left. “Well now we know who got something.” Nina stated.

“There’s no way Kaz has a valentines date oh my god-” Wylan was shocked that Kaz didn’t even say a word.

“Am not the only that has seen Kaz late at night go out with letters and boxes going out and getting more mail the usual, right?” Inej asked.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it but I thought I was the only one and I didn’t want to invade his privacy.” Matthias replied with and then Nina continued with “He’s been doing this for months almost a year, 5 months from now. I have no clue what he’s doing but he probably has a crush on someone.”

“Let’s just hope the best for him, but he has got to give us the details later.”

Kaz went to his office and locked the door, he opened the gift and saw brand new cane,rings,hats,gloves,guns and a watch with a cute small crow pack on its design.

He doesn’t know how this person gets everything that he likes, maybe because he has mentioned how he likes these so much but he felt like a little boy on Christmas. He hasn’t felt like this a long time and since today, Matthias and Nina invited all the crows to dinner to their favorite restaurant, he decided to wear some of his new things.

Kaz walked in and whole gang just stared at him while he settled down. 

“Did you go shopping Kaz?” Inej asked, “No, I got a gift from a friend.” He was very blunt with his answer and the crows kept asking him about the gift,the message and his new cane.

Later on Kaz decided on telling them very small parts on how he knows this person and how he feels. This a new side the have never seen form Kaz and didn’t seem anything like Dirtyhands is.

“What are these letters about even? You sid you have at least written over 50.” Jespers asked.

“They wouldn’t be called secret letters for nothing,now would they Jesper.”

——————————————————————————

This was shit but I needed to post something and all my drafts that I saved like 2 weeks shoe my sister deleted as a prank😀 I think she has a death wish at this point.

[usmsgutterson]

Hi! I’d like to request the day after tomorrow for the holiday event! (Assuming you’re still taking requests, no worries if not!)

Favorite holiday activity: either watching Christmas movies or just general prep (baking, gift wrapping, etc.)

About me: I’m 5’4” with darkish medium lengthish hair and dark brown eyes. I’m an Aries, but I’ve been told I don’t “act like it” lmao. I’m always cold in winter, so I alway have either a cardigan or a cocoa with me. I try to be kind and listen to people, and I’d like to think I’m good at it. I’ve been told I’m very funny, but I think that may just be the lack of a filter (and yet I’m somehow still introverted? idk, it’s weird)

Fandom and gender preferences: Grishaverse and any is fine!

Have a great day! <3

Hi! Requests for the holiday event are open through to January 1st, so if you have any ideas, feel free to send them along!

I ship you with Nina Zenik! She's absolutely the type to LOVE a christmas movie, and she would absolutely have an incredible time if the two of you were to turn a day of Christmas prep into a date/a day that you spend together! She’d absolutely buy you cardigans and probably end up taking a few of yours, as well!  

She also radiates the ‘hot drink during winter’ kind of vibe to me, though I feel like she would probably be more inclined to a peppermint mocha or one of the holiday themed lattes that you can get from shops like Starbucks or Peets!

A blurb is below the cut because I didn’t want this to get too long!

Nina passed you a mug of hot chocolate as you looked around at your work in the Slat. A Christmas tree that extended up to the second floor had been sitting near the stairs, decked out in ornaments and lights with an adorable crow-shaped topper you’d gotten made by a fabrikator in the city at the top. Garland was wrapped around the bar, the smell of gingerbread mingling with sugar cookies that you and Nina had put into the oven in the hour before wafting up from the kitchens.

“The holiday blend came in at the Crow Club,” Nina observed. “Kaz saved us two pounds of it to use this winter. How’s the cardigan?”

“A perfect fit, thank you love,” you responded, taking the mug from Nina and pressing a quick peck to her lips. “Seriously. Thank you for the cardigan, and for helping me decorate.”

“I love the holidays with you, Y/N,” Nina responded. “It was no trouble at all.”

You grabbed her hand in your free one, interlaced your fingers and grinned, heart filling with contentment as your eyes flickered between Nina and the display that you’d built.

[pallasperilous]

Boneless Wings

 {AO3 version}

So, blah blah blah, it’s their standard-issue disaster: pack of dumbass witches (always with the dumbass witches. Where do they find the time for this shit? Somebody get these women signed up for a Peloton subscription or a macramé class or a vibrator of the month club, seriously, whatever it takes—), ancient curse, Castiel being the actual angel of stepping in it, nobody cares. 

The point is, two hundred and forty-one hours of binge-worthy drama later, Dean and Cas are living in a semi-detached just a short thirty-minute commute to somewhere equally lame, Castiel has two literal-ass wings, and yes, Susan, they kiss now. 

The neighbors are weirdly cool with it. 

For those of you perving along at home, Dean could absolutely provide a list of the hundred or so ways that having a boyfriend* with giant fucking actual wings is super hot and/or awesome.

This is not that list.

(*you can just shut right the fuck up , Sam, because it’s either this or Dean will start saying lover. And nobody needs that. Nobody wants that.)

1.  Bird mites. Holy shit. 

 2.  Sharing a bathroom. The shower curtain rod, and consequently the security deposit, are early casualties. The medicine cabinet follows swiftly behind. Shower hijinks are not even an option.

 3.  Dean comes home one day from a gig and there is a giant plastic green turtle in the backyard. A closer inspection reveals that the turtle is actually a mule for about half a truck bed of industrial dust ‘n grit. It is, in fact, a kiddie sandbox. Dean points out that they do not, in fact, have a small child (FINGERS CROSSED), so...?

Cas then earnestly shows him an entire playlist of exotic birdy dust bath videos on Youtube. 

Dean then earnestly shows him the garden hose. 

4.  The down just gets, like...everywhere. EVERYWHERE. How many times have Sam and Dean practically sold their kidneys for a single angel feather for some dumb spell to solve some pointless Occult McProblem? And now Dean is picking them out of his damn teeth every morning. (No, gross, not because of... Jesus, no, that is not a thing.)

On the upside of this one, Dean finally has an excuse to buy a Dyson, which he’s secretly always thought looked awesome. It is. 

 5.  When Dean is scraping out the umpteenth canister of fluff he jokingly suggests they use some of it to supplement the tragically flaccid down comforter currently shaming their bed, and Castiel pitches an existential fucking sulk. Dean wants to experience happiness again, so he does not point out that it get ass-bitingly cold here this time of year, and decent bedding is not exactly inexpensive, and the Dyson kind of maxed them out on household purchases.

But whatever.

 6.  Castiel is indulging in what Dean thinks of as a sky pout when he flies right into a head-on with li’l Timmy NextDoor’s new Christmas surveillance drone. It dings the shit out of one of Cas’s left primary feathers (the scientific term is “those big motherfuckers”), which apparently hurts like a bitch. Cas is grounded for a few weeks after that and is cutely pathetic about it and at first Dean is absolutely down to kiss it better. By the end, Dean is almost ready to strangle Cas with his own necktie, but he has learned a lot of surprisingly interesting stuff about ancient Mesopotamia, like that it was super horny.

 7.  After the snow melts, Dean starts finding shit on the front step with the morning paper. It’s not even a good newspaper; Cas signed them up for the local fish-wrapper (or maybe it was Sam, before he fled for the hills— he occasionally breaks out in a  “support local journalism” rash). The crossword puzzle is insulting, but the paper does at least syndicate Carolyn Hax, whom Dean secretly suspects of being an absolute wildcat in the sack, so he grudgingly expends the calories to bring it in every morning. 

Anyway, at first the stuff he discovers crapping up the welcome mat is just shiny bits of trash — couple granola wrappers, some MGD pull-tabs, a few field-stripped twisty-ties. Probably just windblown, and he tosses it in the garbage can. 

Then a couple weeks in, things start getting...grisly? It escalates real slowly, from a variety platter of mouse bits to squirrel à la power line and then half of a dry-aged raccoon and an opossum that has recently graduated from playing dead to professional dead-being. The neighborhood crows obviously love that their front step is now a roadkill café; Dean has to bat increasing numbers of them away with the kitchen broom in order to relocate their horrible snack to the edge of the nearest storm drain.

Then one morning there are like twenty crows and they’re in just the cutest little football huddle-up around what turns out to be a human fucking finger with a retro-fun mood ring still on the knuckle (it’s feeling: Sad) and Dean fully loses his shit. 

Cas hears him freaking out and comes whomping out of the garage ready to, whatever, flap somebody to death maybe, but as soon as he establishes that Dean doesn’t need anything more than a fresh pair of boxers, he de-poofs a bit and assesses the whole human finger/crows situation in his usual infuriatingly unrushed way. The crows had mostly bounced up to the cable line over the house, safely out of brooming range, but one by one they start to drop down and hippity-hop back towards the world’s tiniest crime scene.

If Dean were five percent less freaked he’d be tempted to go inside and find out how much of a dent he can make in a six-pack before Castiel finally dings and spits out his results, but he isn’t, so he just stands there in silence clutching the broom like it’s a shotgun.

Eventually Cas says “hm,” and then he looks at the crows and makes some noises that sound like a spoon caught in a garbage disposal, and the crows make some scrawps and chuks back, and then one of them delicately noodges the tip of dead finger with its beak and then hippity hops back a foot or two, bows, and then they all fly away over the shitty little beige duplex across the street like they’re running ten minutes late to an important bird appointment.

Castiel stands up (Dean reflexively backs up into the doorway, as this involves Cas bomfing out his wings a bit for ballast and Dean has caught a blow to the nuts on more than one occasion), dusts off his goddamn slacks, pulls a plastic evidence baggie out of thin goddamn air or maybe his socks, and casually bags the finger like they’re doing a standard FBI wheeze. “So what,” Dean says, as Cas diligently zips the baggie, “the fuck?”

“Oh,” Cas says, blinking in surprise that Dean is still there and interested, “they think I’m their god.”

Dean kind of stares back at him, the six feet of dude and like sixteen feet of bird, and thinks sure, okay, but his face must still be stuck on “Tippi Hedren attic scene” because Cas puts a reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder and adds “Don’t worry. I’ve told them I don’t require further offerings, and I reassured them that you’re my consort and were simply jealous of other potential mates.”

It takes Dean two weeks to come up with a response to that, but by then it’s become evident that no bird is ever going to shit on the Impala again, so he decides to just chalk it up in the win column and move on.

You know. The family business.

8.  No matter how tightly he folds them, Cas can’t fit his wings through the definitely-not-up-to-code doorway of the wood-paneled family rec room in the basement, so Dean claims it as his man cave and dubs it the “No Fly Zone.” 

Castiel doesn’t find this funny, but Dean really only uses it to fold laundry. 

 9.  Transpo is an obvious issue. Cas can almost stuff himself into the Impala if he sort of reverse-cowgirls the back seat, but then the wingtips smoosh up against the windshield and Dean’s visibility is approximately zip. And, sure, Cas could fly himself anywhere they really needed to go, he’s basically a Chevy Of The Air, but sometimes it’s raining, and the seraph Castiel — Shield of God, Heavenly Soldier of the Lord, multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent, will smell like a wet fucking chicken for days afterward. Febreze does not help.

Dean spends a few nauseating weeks contemplating the purchase of — and here he learns that the human gag reflex can be conditioned, but never truly eradicated — a convertible. Once Cas brings up the possibility of a minivan or perhaps a station wagon (he’s taken to studying family motor vehicles with all the intensity of a birder with a life list) and Dean makes him sleep on the couch.

Dean gets his own living room rotation after he shows Cas a Craigslist posting for a very reasonably priced horse trailer. Castiel points out that it’s used and Dean notes that neither of them is exactly mint in original packaging either. Castiel points out that he’s not a horse, and after a few necessary but admittedly unoriginal jokes, Dean pulls up a website with an exhaustive photographic tutorial on how to convert a horse trailer “for the safe and sanitary transport of ostriches, emus, and/or cassowaries.” Cas points out that he’s not an ostrich, emu, and/or cassowary, and Dean counters that he clearly isn’t, because an emu would probably show a little more gratitude, and that’s how Dean learns that the couch has a broken spring under the left cushion. The transpo issue remains unresolved.

 10.  Dean keeps a pair of shop-grade safety goggles by his side of the bed. It’s not the sexiest look, but it turns out feathers are stabby as hell when encountered at a particular angle. Cas can do the healy thing, of course, but they learn the hard way that cornea perforation is not really a mood enhancer. On the bright side, Castiel accidentally corrects Dean’s incipient presbyopia, which means Dean doesn’t have to hold the newspaper at arm’s length anymore when he’s idly speculating what Carolyn Hax looks like below the neck. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

 11.  You’d think that, when you’re coming down from a time-limited but incurable curse that makes you feel like every cell of your body has its own cute little individual headcold — because you missed a hex bag due to the fact that you were preparing your legal response to Sam turning up to the hunt wearing a goddamn hair scrunchy, as if he were fresh off the set of a very special episode of Clarissa Explains It All — anyway, you’d think that being wrapped in the warm embrace of an angel’s wings would be nice. 

But you would be wrong, because apparently your boyfriend has been out communing with the bees again, and those feathers pick up ragweed pollen like it’s their goddamn job, and guess what else angels can’t cure? Dean will take Motherfucking Seasonal Allergies for 600, Alex. 

12a.  One of the neighbors has that homesteading hippie brain disease that drives an otherwise normal-seeming person to brew their own beer and raise a bunch of chickens despite living within five hundred yards of a fully functioning Hy-Vee. There’s a week where one of the wee little velociraptors seems to be processing some kind of trauma because it starts yelling at dawn and keeps going until well past the hour that swearing is allowed on network TV. 

When Dean finally hammers on the front door the next afternoon the neighbor apologizes with some extremely nasty home-brew (HIPPIES) and some absolutely devastating weed (HIPPIES!) and explains that “Ginger is going through a rough molt” and then he kind of nods his head towards Dean’s side of the fence where Cas is futzing around in the squash plants and stage whispers (this is a direct quote) “You know how they get.”

Dean is about to rip the dude a new one for comparing his immortal space-kaiju lover to a fucking Australorp yard pullet when Castiel pops his head up over the white pickets and breezily contributes “Bad molt, yes, those are terrible, Dean can tell you all about how insufferable I am those weeks,” and sometimes Dean just doesn’t know why he even tries.

 12b.  The less said about angel molt, the better. 

Seriously, the freakin’ eyes-on-his-hands naked mole rat dude from, whatsit, Pan’s Labyrinth of Subtitles, would run screaming from this shit. 

 13.  There’s a 4th of July BBQ Potluck Block Party and Dean’s inability to stand idly by while good meat is abused ( shut up Sam ) means he winds up manning the grill and dismissing the pretenders to set some strictly inedible things on fire. Cas hangs out next to him and uses his flappers to kinda whupf the smoke away from Dean’s eyes now and then, which rules. It’s actually a pretty chill event until Sharon and Don From Number 4267, The Green House With The White Trim, turn up with a giant Pyrex full of naked, still-marinating teriyaki wings. 

Sharon And Don look down at their wings and then up at Castiel and then down at the wings and then up at Castiel and they are clearly teetering on the edge of a Midwestern politeness failure-based nervous breakdown. But then Cas, smooth as a margarine commercial, gently takes the dish from Sharon’s frozen hands, examines the contents for a silent moment, and says “it’s alright. They weren’t personal friends.”

He gets an extra burger for that one.

 14.  Cas keeps absent-mindedly trying to groom Dean — who, in case it still needs to be said at this point, possesses zero-point-zero feathers of his own — so he goes after Dean’s hair, instead. Dean has to stop him after his second hour of trying to straighten out a cowlick. “I don’t understand how you can steer properly with this deformity,” Cas says, as if it’s a genuine miracle that Dean isn’t constantly careening over ottomans like Dick Van Dyke. He’s even more horrified by Dean’s (frankly minimal) use of hair gel. “Jesus, Cas, it’s not like I’m drinking it,” he says, but then one time they have an epic make-out session shortly after Dean performs his masculine beauty rituals and there’s some smearage of various types of Product (tm) on the flappy areas. 

And, sonuvabitch, for the next six hours Cas is spirographing around the house like he has a heavenly inner ear infection, and he only stops veering into the doorframes after Dean wipes down every. Single. Feather. With mineral oil and about eighteen clean shop cloths. Dean switches to something called hair wax, which costs thirty zillion times more per ounce and makes him smell vaguely like church, but is a lot less gloppy. The things we do for love.

 15.  Seating inside the house is a bit of a conundrum, too. Cas can kind of flop his wings out to the sides if he sits in the middle of the couch, but then Dean’s stuck on the recliner, which is basically in the next county. Bar stools are disastrously tippy, Dean’s lower back and hips have not endured mumble-mumble years of hunting just to be subjected to a damn beanbag chair, and, after a brief flurry of optimistic excitement, Dean determines that they’d have to take the front door off to get a massage chair in. He finds a swing online that if, he can get the hardware properly installed in the crossbeam, is rated for up to 500 pounds, so he texts Cas the URL so he can check out the specs. After half an hour he writes back —

CASTIEL: Dean

CASTIEL: I believe this swing is intended for sexual congress.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: I can infer from the ellipsis that you have spent several minutes attempting to draft a response.

DEAN: ...

CASTIEL: Dean

DEAN: it’s multipurpose

  16 . On the plus side, though, big-ass wings make for a pretty good drying rack. He can get every sock in the house laid out on those suckers in a single round and, one episode of Dr. Sexy later, they’re perfectly dry and toasty warm, without any of the pair-busting casualties Dean has learned to expect from the apparently socknivorous dryer in the basement. 

Dean assumes it’s just the product of good air circulation and body heat until he realizes that he hasn’t had to toss a pair for being too worn out in...maybe six months? So he asks Cas “Are your wings... healing the socks” and after an entire Abbott and Costello routine centering around heal versus heel, Dean determines that the answer is: yes, his boyfriend’s wings are channeling the almighty power of Heaven to magically repair the socks Dean buys at Target in twelve-pack bags. On sale.

This is actually kind of sexy, if Dean is being perfectly honest, so, you know what? It doesn’t belong on this list.

 16.  So nobody really freaks out or bursts into tears or calls the news or the FBI or anything when Cas goes out in public with him, which Dean is secretly a little disappointed about, because come on. (Maybe giant wings just reads as a gay thing? Was there an episode of Will and Grace about this that Dean missed back when he was ass deep in wendigos or something?)

But no. Dudes tend to just glance at them across the Home Depot parking lot, throw them the Mutual Dude Acknowledgement Nod, and say some shit like “Comic-con,” or “nice anime” in a knowing tone. Then they go back to rolling their carts full of gaskets or hammers or whatever back to their mom’s station wagon. 

Little girls tend to go googly-eyed — Castiel seems to fall into the same category as a Disney princess, despite the stubble and the drabcore wardrobe, and Dean can’t count the number of times some mom has approached Dean at the grocery store (like he’s Castiel’s manager?? Which, okay...yeah, actually) and asked if they do birthday parties. The money would actually be pretty tempting if Dean weren’t five thousand percent sure that Cas would get them both arrested by launching into an anatomy lesson about duck sex or how God is a loser who favors relaxed fit jeans and Wild Turkey.

The worst is white ladies of a Certain Age, and it always seems to happen in the pudding aisle, for some reason. They either go cross-eyed with horniness and become indiscriminately handsy (Dean can’t blame them for the impulse, but also back off, Karen), or ask Cas for prayers for their cat’s chronic asshole problems (which Castiel WILL take seriously). 

Worst of all is when some hippie spinster clocks them. This woman inevitably reaches right for the feathers and asks in a willowy voice if they’d ever consider turning some of them into dreamcatchers to sell at her studio, which is literally always named The Faerie’s Glen. Then Cas gets confused about why, exactly, a sixty year-old WASP in a peasant skirt would need to call on the infant-protection powers of an Ojibwe spider goddess, while Dean just wants to bite the lady’s fingers off. 

Either way, it’s always a bad scene, and many fully loaded grocery carts have been lost to the fallout.

17.  For some metaphysical reason Dean is too dumb to suss out but also too smart to question, lugging a pair of Cessna-sized flappers around this mortal dimension actually seems to tucker Cas out. He doesn’t need to zonk out every night, but he semi-regularly throws in the towel and actually crawls in with Dean for the duration. 

This would be swell in theory, but the guy absolutely cannot settle the fuck down in less than three (3) human hours, which is the exact amount of sleep Dean requires to maintain his famously sunny demeanor. It’s not just ye olde tossing and turning — Dean can handle that, sharing a bed with Sam is like sleeping next to a kangaroo with restless leg syndrome — no, it’s a nonstop parade of little flippy-flappies and shiffle-shuffles and spontaneous outbursts of preening. 

So Dean makes him a Baby Sleep Sack. 

This is something Dean knows about due solely to one super dumb hunt involving a banishing sigil that had to be drawn in — he still feels like this had to be a misprint — human breastmilk, and that was obviously not happening. But the monster of the week wasn’t going to banish itself, so they wound up at the nearest Walmart, at 4am, picking up what turned about to be an unnecessarily generous supply of baby formula, along with a fresh box of shotgun shells because God bless America*. It doesn’t work, although “lots of stabbing” turns out to be a solid fallback plan, but the point is that while Sam was debating between Digestion Support or Neurological Development, Dean acquired an unprecedented familiarity with some of the products currently available to the sleep-deprived parent. So Dean finds some DIY Baby Sleep Sack knockoff patterns online and determines he can replicate and scale up the concept with some beach towels and duct tape, and the next morning he presents the lumpy but totally functional prototype to Castiel. 

Initially Cas thinks it’s a sex thing (reasonable, it probably is), but once they clear up that misunderstanding, he’s obviously a little peeved by the concept of being swaddled as if he were a gassy baby instead of a deathless sky monster in a sexy dude-shaped can. But Dean must be giving off some serious man on the edge vibes because Cas grudgingly agrees to let Dean tape him up the next time he’s feeling dozy. 

It’s real awkward and takes forever to get Cas bundled up right, and then he’s just kind of lying there on top of the sheets, like an enormous, grumpy baked potato. 

“I could easily break out of these restraints,” he says in a pissy tone after Dean has crawled in and turned off the light, and Dean rolls over to tell him “no shit”, but then he has to stop himself because the guy is already asleep.

Eventually they upgrade to a version made out of some of those trendy weighted blanket things, a few yards of parachute silk, and a whole lot of velcro. The dude looks so damn peaceful that Dean is honestly a little jealous.

*he doesn’t, actually. 

 18.  There’s a sunny afternoon that isn’t the usual Kansas is trying to murder you level of humid so Dean rolls the Impala out into the street for a wash. Cas helps him out a bit initially, although tragically not in a way that involves removing any unnecessary articles of clothing, but Deans sends him to grab a new tub of wax from the shed and he never comes back. After half an hour Dean needs a beer break and goes looking for him, expecting to find Cas lost in thought over whether Turtle Wax is made of actual turtles, or is made to put on actual turtles. Instead he finds Cas crouched on the shimmering pavement at the back of the driveway, sun beating down on him like it has a personal vendetta, and he’s got both wings stretched out real low above the ground. Dean kind of flips out because it’s the type of pose that just screams “stabbed in gut by angel blade” or “migraine from Hell, literally.”

Then Cas looks up, which pulls his wings up a smidge too, which in turn reveals that fully half a dozen neighborhood cats are lounging in the shady patch beneath his wings, spread out on the concrete like blobs of furry peanut butter. No, it’s actually eight cats. There are eight cats.

“Ling-Ling was feeling a little overheated,” Cas says, as if this explains everything. 

And, you know what, at this point, it does.

 19.  Dean has faith that eventually Sam or Cas or the third demon from the left in the second row will turn up a solution for the whole business. Castiel will get to tuck those bad boys back into the secret wing-closet dimension and he won’t have to worry about getting stuck in stairwells anymore, or being reported to the FAA (again). Then they can finally pack up the house, plaster over the more egregious spots of drywall damage, and go back to killing things outside of the tri-county area. The whole thing has been a pretty embarrassing interlude for a couple of dudes who’ve kicked Satan’s ass multiple times — Sam is probably telling other hunters that they’ve been deep undercover to take out a nest of suburban vampires, or a pack of ghouls with mortgages, instead of vacuuming angel down out of the AC unit and considering a Costco membership. 

And sure, there have been some...serious pluses to the situation (see: the other list), but, in his weaker moments, Dean has to admit that he’s kind of going to miss some of the goofy, irritating shit, too — like finding a six-inch feather in the veggie crisper (how? why?), or watching Cas fwap his wings out just in time to accidentally clothesline a jogger, or even the strangely compelling, sorta cheesy smell that starts to float around the house if Cas goes a little too long between hosedowns. 

He has actually grown fond of this shit. Which is 100% the least sexy thing on earth, it’s some genuinely, seriously pathetic goo goo crap, and that’s why nobody will ever hear a fucking word about it. People will ask “so what’s it like, with the wings” and Dean will waggle his eyebrows suggestively and review the highlight reel over an inadvisable amount of rail whiskey. His secret’s safe with, well. Him.

 20.  Seriously though, the bird mites. 

Gross.