#chowder made me do this

[blujayonthewing]

YETO'S SUPERB SOUP

Restores eight hearts!

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

Okay Yay

[cuppajj]

Since Candy Apple is on Shadow Milk's side. She and Strawberry Crepe would be (Onesided) Besties in the AU since she wants to help Shadow Milk

I still need to think about what Candy Apple would do in the au (since she’s tied to the spire plot), but your onesided besties thought made me think of her and Crepe as a Chowder-Panini dynamic and I find that very funny

[ltwilliammowett]

Cooking like a Sailor - New England Clam Chowder

However, a warm savory steam from the kitchen served to belie the apparently cheerless prospect before us. But when that smoking chowder came in, the mystery was delightfully explained. Oh, sweet friends! hearken to me. It was made of small juicy clams, scarcely bigger than hazel nuts, mixed with pounded ship biscuit, and salted pork cut up into little flakes; the whole enriched with butter, and plentifully seasoned with pepper and salt. - Moby Dick

What Herman Meville describes here is a very famous New England dish - the clam chowder. A chowder is "a soup or stew of seafood (such as clams or fish) usually made with milk or tomatoes, salt pork, onions and other vegetables". Whilst there are different types of chowder, clam chowder is undoubtedly the best known. The definition of chowder varies depending on the part of the country, but most contain clams, potatoes, onions and some form of pork. Some use milk or another type of broth, but this type of dish was very popular on board ships where it was cooked and served in different ways. According to Savouring Gotham: A Food Lovers Companion to New York City, it is believed that New England chowder was introduced to the region by French, Nova Scotian or British settlers and became a common dish in the region around 1700. The chowder grew in popularity over the years and, according to What's Cooking America, was served in Boston as early as 1836 at Ye Olde Union Oyster House (the oldest continuously operating restaurant in the country).

But let's get to the recipe so you can cosy up at home with your copy of Moby Dick and enjoy a nice serving of clam chowder.

What do you need: 1 small onion 1 kilogram of salted pork 2 medium potatoes 1 1/2 cups of water 1 tin with about 200 grams of clams 1 bottle with about 350ml clam juice

1/8 teaspoon of pepper 1 1/2 cup of milk

To prepare:

cut the meat into pieces of about 2.5c and brown in a pan over a medium heat. Then set aside.

chop the onions and fry them in the pan, in the meantime cut the potatoes into small pieces and add them to the onions, cover with water and cook until the potatoes are soft.

add the clams and their juice and season with pepper. Cook over a medium heat until they are steaming.

Add 1 1/2 cups of milk. Heat over a medium heat for 5 minutes.

Add the meat and serve. Best eaten with ship's biscuits or fresh bread, if available.

Enjoy your meal.

[inquisimer]

FOR VIAGO AND ARLOW "keep it. i have more where that came from." (in my head it is a POISON)

of COURSE it is a poison, it was either a poison or a Real Live Snake and I simply couldn't think of a good premise for the latter so here we are.

for @dadrunkwriting - da4 spoilers, some pre-canon Crow Dad

-

“If you’re looking for something a little more subtle, I’d go three vials over. That one leaves a distinctly bitter aftertaste that will clash with the chowder Teia is having catered.”

Arlow flinched, rattling the cabinet of neatly labeled vials. When she turned around, Viago was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded and brow raised. Her fingers closed around the vial in her palm.

“Who said it was going in the soup?”

“If you were planning on putting it anywhere else, I’ll have you back in lessons with Heir for the next six months.”

Arlow rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to poison anyone. Not tonight, anyway. And not without reason.”

“I’m sure you have a reason.” Viago beckoned her forward and she went, expecting him to hold out a hand for the vial she’d nicked. Instead, his gloved fingers caught her chin and tilted it back, inspecting her face. Whatever he saw made him frown.

“What is it for, then?”

“An insurance policy,” Arlow said lightly. “Never hurts to be prepared.”

She knew she sounded like a liar, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about much, these days, not since confirmation had come down from Caterina.

Lucanis. Dead. Even thinking it made her eyes burn with unshed tears; she forced them to stay open, even as Viago’s harsh stare blurred before her. She knew better than to admit such open weakness to his face. Not that he wouldn’t see it anyway; but admitting it would be a mistake nonetheless.

Viago released her chin and wiped an escaping tear from her cheek. “You cannot go like this,” he said lowly, holding his finger so that her tear glinted the torchlight. “You know that they will use it against us.”

“I don’t care,” Arlow snarled, looking away. “Let them play their games; I am allowed to miss my friend.”

“You are. But it changes nothing. If you cannot keep composure, I will lock you in the villa with Emil.”

“At least I’m allowed to call him a snake to his face,” Arlow muttered. She dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her free hand, careful not to smudge the eyeliner Teia had painstakingly painted on as she willed her tears to dry and forced her sorrow back into the tight knot it had kept in her gut since the announcement. “Better?”

Viago glanced her up and down, and Arlow forced herself not to stiffen. Crows of House de Riva did not squirm under inspection unless they wanted a half dozen lashes and a mild paralytic under the tongue. She was better than that.

“Passable.” Viago stepped back. “You must keep your head tonight. Grief is a heavy thing, and I do not hold yours against you. But the other houses will.”

“It’s his funeral,” Arlow whispered. “Is nothing sacred?”

“You know the answer to that.”

She did. It didn’t lessen the sting, or the twist of bitterness in her throat. The Crows were too familiar with death for grief or mourning to be left in peace. Arlow took a deep breath.

“I won’t do anything rash,” she promised. The look Viago gave her said enough to make her roll her eyes. “I won’t ruin this for Teia. I know how long she spent planning.”

“If that’s what it takes,” Viago sighed. He gestured for Arlow to go ahead of him, and she cocked her head curiously.

“Aren’t you going to make me put it back?”

“I have more.”

“You’re not worried about what I’ll do with it?”

“Do I need to be?”

Arlow snorted. “I think we have different measures of what you do and don’t need to be worried about.”

“Without a doubt.” Viago turned the lock of his study door, scraping the metal pointedly as he placed the key back in his pocket. Arlow kept her face perfectly blank; her picks were well hidden, and she knew she hadn’t left any scratches. What he knew and what he could prove were different things, as he’d been the one to teach her. She slipped the vial into her hip pouch.

“I trust your judgment,” he said, sending her down the stairs with a jerk of his chin. “Do not make me regret it.”

[midnight-fables]

Entry 11: Fistful of Tacks

Bearblr Promptober Day 11: Corn Maze

Summary: Carmen's girlfriend (who he refers to as Darling) joins the kitchen crew on a trip to a corn maze and pumpkin patch that Nat organized, and Carmen is struggle bussing. (Feat. Sydney, Marcus, mentions of Tina, Richie, Eva, Nat, Pete, Nat's daughter)

Warnings: Anxiety, self-worth issues, mentions of disordered eating, mentions of nausea, mentions of panic attacks, swearing, fem reader who is a trauma surgeon (nothing gross described), she/her pronouns, mentions of The Devil (Chef David)

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

Thank you for reading. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list.

11 Oct 2024

Why the fuck do people like corn mazes?

No, thank you, I don’t feel like getting lost in fucking corn with a bunch of random people for hours; I could be doing so much more with my time. It’s corn. It invades everything in the Midwest already, for what purpose would you want to intentionally seek out more of that invasion? Getting some freshly-harvested corn for grilled corn, corn chowder, creamy corn sauce with gnocchi, I’m pretty sure Marcus could make a killer sweet cornbread crumble-type thing—sure, I’ll haul my ass to the nearest fucking cornfield—

“Is that a no on the corn maze then…?”

“It’s a fuck no on the corn maze, Syd.”

—But no, I’m not doing a damned corn maze.

Syd recoiled. “Oh. Alright, okay, Jesus. Sorry for bothering you.”

Darling hugged my arm tighter and pouted. “Aw, but I did them with my grandma all the time when I was little. They were so fun.”

I covered my eyes and dug my thumb and fingers into my temples to stave off the dull ache forming in my frontal lobe. “I don’t feel like getting lost in corn.”

Syd. “You just follow the left wall, though.”

Marcus joined us at our table. “You do what now?”

“That’s how you solve mazes, you follow the left wall.”

“Huh.” His voice drew closer to my ear. “You okay, Chef?”

I nodded. Still had my palm over my face. It wasn’t the loudest it could’ve been—again, we beat a lot of families with kids, who tended to show up after 2 pm, according to the people who ran the pumpkin patch and corn maze, and Chicago decided that particular Sunday would be the respite day of hell-with-some-respite season, so it wasn’t murderously hot or humid out. Richie and Tiff were off co-parenting Eva in the pumpkin patch, so that meant I didn’t have to listen to his bullshit—though, admittedly, he was much less bullshit since his stint at Ever, even if we hit that snag after Friends and Family where I thought about launching knives at him every time he happened to be within striking distance.

Boy, am I glad I’m too much of a coward to actually act like the animal I sound like sometimes.

Nat organized something of a family and friends’ get-together to celebrate half a year of being open as a restaurant��and maybe to force us all to take a bit of a break now that we weren’t looking at a bad week potentially shuttering us. I brought it up to Darling not expecting her to jump at the prospect of meeting the whole group—should’ve known, she’s a social butterfly, and, if I was being honest, it was the primary reason I asked. So, she could help buffer in a social setting. These were people I worked with, would take a bullet for, but outside the restaurant, I had barely any social footing. And I wanted to. Have social footing, that is. Darling liked being around people, and while she never complained about me wanting our time together to be our time together, something nagged at me to at least be able to tolerate socializing.

We met up and poked around the market they had nearby for some small decorations we could put in the restaurant that fit the season. Little things that locals made by hand—a macrame wall-hanging, little ceramic pumpkins with paper florals arranged in them, some planters. The planters were Syd’s idea. Bring a bit of greenery to the four-tops. Tina was fawning over Sug and Pete’s baby while they took pictures of her first fall. Or. Something. I don’t know, I had too much on my mind and my head was killing me before we even made it to the pumpkin patch and corn maze. Darling suggested we stop for a bite to eat, sit at the covered tables to get out of the sun for a bit.

She’s smart like that.

We weren’t doing the best with our margins. I forwent being paid to make sure Syd made enough to keep her apartment, and even she was making sacrifices in her pay to make sure front-of-house didn’t get shafted. About 2 weeks ago, my apartment's stove goes, then two of the radiators do, and the landlord—an aside here: fuck landlords. I hope hell exists so landlords can burn in them with me.—anyway, the landlord is being a shit about it, so I’ve been crashing at Darling’s place. But then her range and oven also go to the shitter, like, 3 days later?

Like I said: fuck landlords.

Which means I’m on week two of having to rely on overnight oats and fucking granola bars, family, and takeout or unviable food from service that’s still at least calories, and because we’re getting this shit dialed, that usually means scraps. If any. And you’d think a motherfucker like me who got his shit kicked in when working in New York would be able to tolerate eating literally anything, but that’s the thing—I already did this shit, and it’s already fucked me up. I can’t even get it down anymore without my arms and legs exploding in goosebumps. Without seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling Empire and The Devil all over again. Half the time, I just go hungry and ignore the pangs in my stomach until I get caught up enough in work that I forget about eating, and then whoops, 14 hours have gone by and I haven’t eaten a thing and bile surges at the base of my throat and my eyes water, I can’t breathe. And I get to Darling’s place with what used to be a local favorite, and four bites in, I’m so sure I’m going to throw up because it just tastes like stomach acid and my guts are twisting into knots from anxiety anyway.

Something slid across the table in front of me, and two breaths later, the scent of grilled meat, pepper, vinegar, onions, and mustard filled my nose. My jaw stung as my mouth watered. Darling untangled an arm from around mine and rubbed across my shoulder blades.

“How about we try to eat something, hm?” she cooed.

I picked the pickles off the Chicago dog before inhaling a third of it in one bite. Goosebumps exploded under my jacket.

“Wow, how’d you do that?” Syd asked.

“How’d I do what?”

“Get him to do, uh, anything?”

“Fuck off, Syd,” I said through a mouthful of food.

She snorted into her apple cider.

“Sweetheart,” Darling warned, punctuating it by raking her fingers through my hair to get it off my forehead.

“She did not just call you ‘sweetheart.’” Syd again. I could hear her smiling.

My face flooded with warmth.

God fucking dammit.

Thankfully, Marcus spoke up. “Come on, let ‘em have it or we’re gonna torment you when you find yourself someone nice.”

“Like hell you are!”

“Oh, I’ll remember! Karma, baby!”

Syd let out a huff of a laugh. I wish I would’ve seen her face to get a better sense of how she felt about the idea of letting someone into her life. It’s strange, really, how similar yet different we were, like two clippings taken from the same tree, planted in different pots, placed in different homes. There’s this deep, unidentifiable thread of connection that I feel with her—and she feels with me, I’m sure of it because how else could she call my bullshit for what it was while still preserving the feeling of safety that eluded me everywhere else but a locked room or, sparingly, though getting more frequent, in Darling’s arms? Sort of like a family member you haven’t seen in an eternity but you know would have your back in an instant if you got into trouble. If I’d found out we were twins separated at birth, I wouldn’t question it for a second. And I doubt I’d want to protect her any differently.

She’s got that fire in her eyes that I used to see in my own when I stared into my reflection back in Copenhagen. Feels like an entire lifetime ago (Darling told me that trauma can make time feel like it’s not real, and I’m only finding more and more reason to never doubt the woman) but, back then, I did want something out of cooking that went beyond flipping Mikey the bird. It wasn’t that I wanted the best chef title or even a bullshit star, I wanted to prove something to myself. I wanted to throw a fistful of tacks back at that persistent, shitty voice in my head that kept telling me that I’d never do much, never make a thing of myself. I never did well in school, I didn’t get into college, I didn’t have any friends, I wasn't funny, I couldn’t help my mom, I couldn’t stop Sugar from going mad, I couldn’t keep up with Mikey, I couldn’t ask Claire out, I never made it past districts in wrestling—I was good for fuck all, and that stupid fucking phonograph reminding me of all the shit I couldn’t or didn’t do wouldn’t shut. The fuck. Up.

Syd’s got that fire in her eyes. Syd’s got that passion that I wanted, that I found for a brief stint before The Devil sunk his claws into me. And yeah, I could do fuck all to protect Mikey from his own demons or Sugar from mom’s, but I will glass this planet before I let it stamp out her flames. And doing it like I did? By cutting out people and burying myself neck-deep in the craft of food? Would I stand by and let her do that to herself, too?

Darling erupting into a giggle fit brought me back to the pumpkin patch.

“It looks like it’s got a big ol’ pot belly—look at it!” Syd pointed at a pumpkin with a large lump in it and did an exaggerated walk with her arms up and her cheeks puffed out. Eva giggled at her antics. Darling and I were a bit away from the others as they discussed... something about the pumpkins, I couldn’t even begin to figure out what. I glanced around, tried to get a sense of where and when I was.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Darling murmured, circling around in front of me and taking my face in her hands. “There you are. Where’d you go?”

Her hands were cool, familiar, grounding. I didn’t feel like I was boiling in my skin, which had to be a good sign, right?

“How-how long, uh...?”

She shrugged as Cousin, Eva, Tiff, Syd, and Marcus laughed again. “15 minutes, maybe.”

“Why-why didn’t you snap me out of it?”

“Well, you did eat your food. I figured it probably was a good idea not to interrupt that. And you weren’t warm. Or shaky. Or upset.” She finger-combed my hair back again. “I figured it wouldn’t be the worst thing to let you process for a bit... We gotta do something about your hair, baby.”

“Yeah, I need to get it cut.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think you need to—unless it’s bothering you. But you should put something in it.” Some strands got caught on her fingers, and I flinched at the sting. “Ope, sorry. It’s starting to get crispy on the ends.”

I eyeballed the sign pointing to the entrance of the corn maze while she picked through more knots in my hair.

She kissed my cheek. “What’cha thinking, handsome?”

“How long do you think the corn maze would take us?”

“Um. Hm.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and tucked her head under my chin. I forgot about the friends and family present and hugged her back. Kissed the top of her head. “Maybe an hour. Why?”

“I’d like to try it.” It came out like a question.

My phone dinged.

She pulled back and beamed at me. “Yeah? You sure?”

Her excitement wrenched a smile from me, too. How could I not? She was adorable.

“Yeah. Just need some quiet time.”

She took off for the maze, and I followed. Glanced at my phone to make sure it wasn’t something important.

2 messages from Sugar.

A photo of the two of us hugging, followed by a message saying, “You two are so cute. I'm proud of you, Bear.”

I stopped, glanced back at her. She was holding her daughter, giant smile on her face, in the middle of pocketing her phone. She tipped her head in the direction of the maze and mouthed “Go.”

I saved the photo to my favorites album and headed to the corn maze.

[coff-in]

You know that last post about Andy being a reluctant sex maniac? It occurs to me if he really could just bust that hard on a daily basis, he'd probably like to experiment a little with it (maybe in a way that won't put someone in a hospital though). Say maybe you're stuck without food so he makes a, say, special bowl of clam chowder- extra thick and salty, just for you. (No you can't ask how he made it. It's a secret. Shut up. No don't share it with Ashley she can get something on her own.)

Then, by some miracle, you actually like it enough that you might try it again later, and he feels like just hearing that feedback gave his body the express command to refill right the fuck back up with enough for another few batches. Then, if he gets the food needed (probably from a more resourceful [reader] scrounging up some more ingredients) he starts putting it in other things he makes when nobody else is looking- the mayonnaise in your sandwich, the glazing of some rolls, the batter for some pancakes, a special protein shake- you think he's really on a roll with learning new recipes and getting some passion for the culinary arts during these rough days, but at the heart of it he's really just gotten addicted to the thought of filling you up with his jizz.

Somehow I think Ashley would do something similar- though she probably wouldn't be as good at hiding it or being too subtle. If it wouldn't be putting her cum into random things you and Andy had to eat, it'd be her bargaining a random neighbor off to a devil so she can lactate at will, then insisting on pouring you all a nice glass of milk for breakfast each day. And if she ever actually gets to know about Andrew and sees he's also doing funny shit with what you've been serving, she'd egg him on to go further and combine their "resources" to see what they can get away with, and ask for discreet lessons in cooking so she can feed you her own tainted dishes. And you'd be so, so incapable of just turning the two down, because as far as you know, hey, they made it for you! Poor, immature Ashley learned to make something nice from her sweet big brother just to make you happy! You wouldn't turn down a helping of special-made, sugar-glazed, extra-protein pancakes just because they taste a little off sometimes, would you?

notes from coff-in: reluctant sex maniac andrew my beloved <3 you guys don't understand the emotion i felt waking up at 6 o'clock in the morning and seeing that in my inbox. went through several stages of disgusted, amused, and horny. andrew must be tired slinging that huge log between his legs, having everyone tease him about that thick outline in his pants or the round bulge... he could hide it in me if he wants to

[gender neutral] reader-insert, NSFW

if [reader] was like me they'd eat anything edible without question. andrew hands them fucking extra creamy clam chowder and [reader]'s like "aw hell yeah, thanks :)" like NOO??? where tf did he get EXTRA CREAMY CLAM CHOWDER??? and why can't ashley eat any??? wouldn't question anything, just thankful to be eating something while stick in quarantine

the "mayo" sandwich is so funny for that fan service/horny potential because maybe andrew adds too much and when [reader] takes a bite, the mayo just squirts out the sandwich from the other end. they scoop it up with their fingers and then suck it, running their tongue over their fingers going "mmmh! it's kinda salty but it's tastes good!" andrew's watching [reader] eat with wide eyes and feels another batch weighing heavy in his balls, waiting to enter [reader]

i like to think that in this scenario that [reader] is good friends with andrew and ashley. yeah sometimes [reader]'s eyes wander towards andrew's uncomfortably, unreasonably big and needy endowments (never letting that go) but they still like andrew for the cynical english nerd that he is and ashley for the annoying and teasing girl that she is. i think that's how ashley came to think "yeah... i wanna feed them my fluids"

she'd be so teasing about it, hinting that it's "made with love" and it's a "family recipe" while they drink coffer made with her breast milk (maybe it's a breast milk tea for [reader] if they don't like coffee). it's a crazy thought seeing ashley standing over a dead body in the middle of a pentagram talking to a demonic entity "i want to be able to lactate" crazy...

andrew and ashley sneak around the kitchen so they could have their "cooking lessons" while [reader] is sleeping. i think [reader] would try to make them something in return, an honest and genuine attempt at a meal to say thank you to them "i know it's not as good as your food but i really appreciate you guys and the food you've been making me" it touches andrew and ashley's hearts

they get off to the idea of [reader] taking the "special ingredients" straight from the source :3

----

coff-in

[universallydestinytaco]

The Little Smiling Mermaid (Chapter 6)

🌊 THANK YOU to all my 150 followers! Sorry, I didn’t get to draw an illustration this week BUT the wonderful @oskidontle had blessed me with this lovely fanart of Mer!Pim (thank you again), Please follow them and check out their own awesome Smiling Mermaids AU!✨

Charlie and Mipnessa got along swimmingly enough for two people who just met each other that day…unless, Charlie pondered, if they just-so happen to have already met! Charlie took note of how Mipnessa vaguely resembled the mystery person of whom he recalled rescuing him that morning…and while he wasn’t quite sure at first, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to try and potentially refresh her memory; He also had a string gut feeling that it wouldn’t be wise to potentially out her as one of the elusive merfolk out of politeness….if not being proven wrong and labeled as a silly-hearted daydream-believer. Charlie ran back to his quarters to swipe the green cloak that was left behind to gently fold it up, then he started rummaging through his closet for a perfectly-sized decorative shoebox to place inside of as a grandiose gesture to Mipnessa before running back to bequeath the gift. “Y’know I have a funny hunch that this is something you’d totally look great in.” The flattered Mipnessa giggled in response: “Showering me with gifts already? You must take a fancy to me.” Feeling overwhelmed with butterflies in his stomach, Charlie blushed with a nervous grin. Mipnessa opened the box and held up the cloak, while she admired the deep emerald green shade, she couldn’t exactly pinpoint what fabric was used for it or could she figure out why it smelled like the brine of clam chowder. “It’s beautiful, and it matches my dress way better than the shawl I’m wearing too.” Charlie replied with a fairly obvious double-meaning: “A match made in heaven.” as he held her hand and proposed: “Perfect for an atmospheric afternoon-to-evening stroll, lemme show you to the outskirts of the palace, the sunset views are amazing out there!”

Meanwhile, Alan had just caught up with the rest of the party as an eagerly-lovestruck Pim alongside a curious Glep followed Graham Nelly to the crisp shore nearby Prince Charlie’s castle. “I can’t wait to see his cute face again!” Pim squealed in delight while fidgeting his hands, Alan sternly reminded him with a business-like tone to mask his anxiety: “We’re here to fetch back your cloak, so that nobody could recognize you and drag you back to that toxic, discourse-infested mess of a palace; We also really shouldn’t stay up here for too long lest we want to be some crazed stowaway’s four-course meal.” Pim’s glee briefly turned into annoyance as he was tempted to roll his eyes at his paranoid friend’s repetitive jargon had it not been for the fact that unlike his family, Alan’s “survival mode”-demeanor was out of genuine concern and love rather than blind bigotry over land folk. When the group made it to their destination, they would come to find that much to their surprise, Charlie was indeed out-and-about, bringing an unexpected guest with him for a neat little walk by the sparkling sapphire waves. While the party of sea critters hid behind the conveniently large rock while observing the scene from a far, they all quickly took notice that the lady accompanying Charlie was wearing an accessory all too familiar to Pim, who shook his head in disbelief before taking another look to find that Charlie was clearly flirting with with her as well. While Alan started discussing a plan to swipe the cloak with Graham, Glep took notice how his buddy Pim was doing. “My cloak…” Pim quietly uttered while overwhelmed with a flurry of mixed emotions, flashing between shock, confusion, hurt feelings and jealously all boiling down into unbridled fury. Glep never saw Pim this angry since that time he was just a teenager and his sister Amy tore the lock on his diary and blurted out all his secrets, including who he was crushing on at the time. Something REALLY must have struck a cord with the usually understanding and compassionate mercritter…

Graham proposed: “We could, like, wrangle a bunch of dolphins together to create a huuuuge wave and splash it right on her so that Prince guy can offer to hang it up for her and when they leave we can snag it from a clothes line, concrete plan!” Alan argued in a snippy-yet-monotone inflection: “Yeah but there’s no clothes line anywhere near water, besides, it would take us all night to achieve that plan anyways.” Graham then got another bright idea: “I know JUST the thing, dude. I have in my collection and it’s this neat tool called a grappling hook! It’s what land folks use to retrieve items from far-away.“ Alan rolled his eyes with an exasperated yawn. “Oh really? Go off I guess.” Graham happily explained: “It’s this long-ass stick with a string attached and at the end of the string it’s a hook! and you toss it far enough and the hook catches-“ he was cut off by a loud, panicked gasp from the horrified Alan, who furiously chided Graham while using his claws as gestures to express his disgust: “You keep a literal weapon used for catching and eating our kind?!! What in Davy Jones’ locker is the matter with you?!” Graham casually shrugged, replying: “I’ve only ever seen something like this being used to catch fish only to throw them back, like they kept catching fish but it’s obvious that she was trying to retrieve something she lost down there.” Alan stood there dumbfounded with his left eye twitching for a few seconds, until he broke silence with a sigh with one claw on his face, “Look, It would just be easier for one of us to sneak up to that lady and quietly snag the cloak away from her.” Graham cheered: “That’s it!” Alan realized exactly what he had in mind and groaned: “Alright, I understand now that I have to put my big-boy shell on.” Glep piped up: “Eskewazebewaboyo!”, Pim’s face perked up at the suggestion. Graham agreed: “Hell yeah! They’ll be too distracted to notice Alan, they’ll be all like: Oh, where is that heavenly sound coming from? Ha! It’ll be a synch!” Alan gulped, “Well, here goes nothing.”

During the conversions Charlie ignited while subtly prying for clues, he had realized that Mipnessa wasn’t the mystery critter. First off, she knew how to swim but preferred to go sailing over swimming. Second she does sing but her voice was rather different from what he had in mind BUT she did play the lute well. Lastly and most glaringly obvious of all was that she had just embarked on Eustace’s ship at the same time the rescue took place and was still miles away from Gremblonia. That being said, Charlie was perfectly content with having Mipnessa as a bride, she may have not been an exotic dream girl but she was a charmingly meek and proper lady whose lute could harmonize well with his ocarina! “You know Mipnessa, I could take you sailing on our ship and go on one of my wild adventures out at sea, maybe we’ll take on a kraken or get into a gang fight with pirates.” Charlie proposed in a suave tone, in response Mipnessa sheepishly loosened up the green cloak ‘round her shoulders, replying: “…y’know, maybe I would like that.” for a brief moment that felt like forever, the two locked eyes and gazed at each other’s presence for what felt like forever. As the sunset started melting into nighttime, the most angelic voice made it’s way to the couple’s eardrums, snapping them out of their trance. Charlie started running around frantically looking for the sound as Mipnessa’s curiosity peaked, joining him as she didn’t pay any mind to Alan’s pincer clinging onto the cloak slipping off of her shoulders. Once the cloak was freed from Mipnessa’s grasp, Alan scurried back fast he could before they’d notice. Meanwhile back behind “home base”, Pim peaking behind as he vocalized his feelings with a warm, sweet a capella with a noticeable tang of seductive amour and just a hint of bitter jealousy; This was Pim’s subtly, classy way of saying out-loud: “That boy is MINE, you got nothing on me you basic bitch!!”. Just as Alan made it to just inches away from water, the lobster tripped on a pebble and got tangled up in the shawl and tried to wriggle his way out. Pim took notice, stopped what he was doing and immediately swam to the scene to finish the job.

Just then Mipnessa realized something was missing. “Oh dear, my cloak!” Charlie blushed upon seeing Mipnessa’s curvy frame accentuated by her sleeveless dress, but quickly snapped out of it. “D-don’t worry, it’s probably back where we left off.” Charlie stumbled back to where he and Mipnessa where viewing the sunset, what he discovered was more than just the cloak itself: it was none other than the mystery critter who rescued him, half-submerged in water while clad in a seashell bra, freeing what looked like a lobster that somehow got trapped inside before taking back what was rightfully theirs. Charlie stood there and froze in shock, asking himself if he was just seeing things or he was trapped in some sort of dream, as he rubbed his eyes in disbelief, the mystery critter already vanished. A tinge of guilt filled Charlie’s heart, as he wished he could have apologized for giving her cloak away, but his thoughts broke as Mipnessa was calling for him to return. Charlie ran back and tried to explain what happened but all that came out was nervous gibberish that Mipnessa initially assumed was Spammish, until he blurted: “Damn lobster made off with the cloak!!” while shaking his fist. Mipnessa giggled: “Duke Eustace was right, you are a washed-up mess of a boy!” Charlie once again froze, embarrassed, until she nudged him a with a smile and reassurance: “At least you’re not some stuck-up old prune.”

~ Damien (and the rest of the search party) spent two days looking for Pim with a nagging conscience, he swore to Neptune if he found his littlest sibling, he’d work hard on being a better brother overall. Ironically, he found a patch of sea flowers to rest upon for the night, just as he was about to lie down he saw a short, cloaked figure picking the flowers, presumably for herbal use. “Pimberly, is that you?!” All he got in response was the laughter belonging to an elderly-sounding sea critter. “Oh deary, I’m afraid I’m not the lost Princess, I’m just an old botanist making medicine.” Damien’s heart sank, his pink skin turning grey at the reveal. “But, I have seen Princess Pimberly ‘round these corners.” Damien’s eyes widened with relief, begging: “Please, tell me where!” The old wisenheimer gave a concerning hint: “I’ve seen the Princess swimming in-and-out of this grotto hauling a satchel full of the most WORTHLESS crap!” Damien pressed for more answers: “So, where is this grotto?”

🐚

Chapter 7 Coming August 9th

[dcdreamblog]

here is a lighter question for Mr. Uncle Sam: how do you take your apple pie?

US: Words cannot describe how much my ideal vision of apple pie is "As many kinds as you can manage, as fast as they can be made, and as violently as they can be thrown in my general direction" Me: You've been on record with Apple Pie as your favorite food since the 40s. It's rather- US: Cliche, maybe but I can't honestly help it. Me: Do you think the public perception acting on an avatar like you might have altered your taste buds? US: Probably. Back in the late 1800s I had an obsession with oysters along with the rest of the country. And when there's entrees on offer I can never turn down a Cheeseburger loaded down with the fixings. Not that I care much, even if it is a cliche it just tastes good. Me: No need to explain yourself to me. In a 2 day span one summer I ate 11 lobsters, 3 pots of steamers and a pot of clam chowder. US: ...I was able to sense you were from Maine upon meeting you for the first time, magically, and even I am shocked and slightly appalled at that statement. Me: Oh then you won't mind if I tell them about the Victory Bond Barbecue in 1943? US: Is that a threat? Me: Yes. *ahem* in 1943 when the vast majority of Squadron fanned out across the United States' largest cities for the sake of summer events and picnics to help raise war bonds, Uncle Sam and many of the other Freedom Fighters were present for a banquet in Washington DC. US: It was a very exciting atmosphere, especially since we had been overseas in the thick of the fight for almost a year beforehand. Me: During the banquet, a pie eating contest was one of the main events. US: Now hold on son- Me: Sam was one of the main participants, having been coaxed into it by his teammates in an effort to be seen as more personable US: We can talk about this- Me: In a minute long span, Sam consumed Forty. Five. Pounds of freshly baked apple pie in front of a shocked crowd. US: It was for charity, I- Me: During the remaining hours of the banquet, Sam continued consuming pie at a steady pace. All told the estimation is that he consumed upwards of 113 POUNDS of apple pie in a single day. Considering that 10 inch apple pies weigh in the ballpark of 4 pounds each you consumed somewhere between 28 to 30 full sized apple pies in one 7 hour afternoon. US: ... Me: So I guess we're both cliches. US: ...I regret. Nothing.

[yoke9494]

Me,U, Your brother, &Your Forehead.. (Ran Haitani/F.reader)

*Au-.. ish?

*FIRST TEASE REQUEST!! (Wattpad)

*Slight NSFW/ Cockblock Rindou.

*Drug use

*Crack on crack.

*Never proof read! Live dangerously!

-------------------------------------------

Living next to the Haitani's had its ups and downs.

Downs included: Waking up from a much needed nap or dead sleep to hear Rindou on his DJ set. He was good but honestly, not "Oh cool! We're partying at 3am?" good. Not really "I have a mad hangover but keep playing!" good..

Other times you'd hear a bunch of thuds and Ran yelling. Throwing a fit about not getting his way or throwing dudes around... Well you hoped it was dudes? Not some poor girl getting her guts liquidified.

Rip..

And don't get me started on all the sketchy shit they have going on in their house..

But they weren't all too bad you guessed. Sure they were loud, nosey, a little mean.

But the good part was..

"What are you doing outside? Looking all sad and shit."

You rolled your eyes at the sleepy purple ones staring you down. You had tried to hide from everyone. Curling up in the hammock in back of your house--  just to get some air, some time to think..

But somehow it was always Ran who sniffed you out... Especially when he wanted something.

Shrugging you let out a sigh. "Just sitting. What are you doing outside? Shouldn't you be asleep like always?"

Ran copied you. "Can't sleep." He eyed your slouched figure. Hunchback of Notre Dame looking ass, but he noticed you weren't in your usual homeless wear today-- you looked nice?.. Oh Right! "Hey, wait! I thought you had a date today? That one nerdy guy with the lame glasses?"

You knew who he was talking about and you fought the urge to throw something. "Ugh. A bust... Turns out guys who get good grades and act charming can be assholes too."

That was a shame... Ran had high hopes for that one. (Not really ) "Wanna come over and smoke? Rindou's out-- we can play in his room."

Tempting...

Though any other girl would take that sexually you knew better. Rindou had all the cool gadgets and shit in his space. He didn't let you or Ran touch ANYTHING since you both broke everything you laid your eyes on.

Fuck it..

"Sure."

----------------------

The thick smoke swirled around in the air, making pretty white sheer shapes. The pungent smell of weed seeped into every fiber and surface in Rindou's poor room.

Oops, guess you two forgot to open a window.

After the second joint was lit you and Ran couldn't focus on anything. Not Rins DJ set, not the video game console, not even his laptop that was playing some movie in a language you both didn't know.

Your body was light, your head quiet. All the stress of the day just melted away. Your eyes felt heavy and you were starving! It's a good thing you and Ran had a plate of Chicken between you... While you both laid on the floor.

How did you end up there with a plate of chicken? No fucking idea.. One of you must have fell or laid down. Then the other joined..

Where did the chicken come from? Hell if you knew.. And Ran didn't know either. When did he leave the room to make them? Did he buy it? Where was his wallet?

Ran didn't even remember getting up and making the snack-- did you? You should because you were standing right next to him..

Either way they were warm and the meat was juicy. The best fucking chicken you've had in you life! All crispy and shit..

"What was I saying?"

What? Was he talking? Oh shit-- you were too busy mouth fucking this chicken.

"Uh--"

Ran gasped. "Oh yeah! So yeah. I didn't hit it.."

Oh now you remember! He was trying to make you feel better about your failed date by telling you his.

You shook your head. "Why not? I mean, I don't clam slam myself but she's fucking hot! I'd try the chowder if it was her."

Ran snorted. "She had clitter glitter."

You made a face at the ceiling. "What now?"

Ran took a slow bit out of his chicken. With a full mouth. ".... toilet paper. There were pieces of toilet paper in her coochie down to the crack. It gave me the ick so I made an excuse to leave. Said Rindou was stuck in the dryer.. She actually bought it!"

The laugh you let out. it probably made the windows shake. "You're shitting me?!"

Ran smiled and shook his head no. The proudest look on his face that he actually pulled some shit like that off. "Nope. That girl has the body of a porn star but the brains of a jellyfish. I'd probably have to bubble wrap her if we ever got drunk or high together. I don't want to babysit."

You nodded like you understood what he was saying. No you weren't judging Ran's choice in girls, you really couldn't. Sure he liked girls who were basically walking fuck toys. But you were no better-- You liked guys who were well off academically. You sure as hell weren't.. But if you ever tried to have them partake in your lifestyle? You'd be babysitting too.

...Turns out you both sucked at picking them. They always turned out to be the same-- a waste of time

"Any whoodle toaster strudel-- Say something babe.... You being all quiet is making me paranoid."

Oh shit.. "My bad." You slowly opened your eyes. You hadn't really noticed that you closed them and started drifting off with a half eaten chicken wing in your hand.

You looked up at the ceiling..

Mean purple eyes stared back at you... It sent a shock of fear up your back and you gasped while trying to make the floor swallow you up to hide you from the evil one..

Ran twitched beside you. He was slowly falling asleep too. "What?!"

You saw a blur of blonde and teal. 'Just looking all mad this one..' "Uh...I think Rindou's home."

Ran hummed from his spot. "Oh shit. We should get out of here before he sees us."

You smiled while Rindou scoffed and nudged his brother with his foot. "What the fuck are you guys going in here?! Getting your greasy ass finger prints on my shit!"

Ran sat up. "Oh shit! Grab the children and run!"

Children? Did he mean the fuckin chicken?..

You watched Ran run out (more like stumble out) with the plate of chicken and only one braid still holding on. He yelled after you. "To my room bitch!"

You snorted at the sight. Then it hit you-- you looked at Rindou. "Did that 5 headed hoochie call me a BITCH?"

Rindou nodded but then pointed to the hall. "Out. Before I pop out your joints from their sockets."

You grumbled and rolled before getting up. You grabbed his hand and placed the half eaten wing in it. "For your troubles." Then walked (Ran--stumbled) out.

Rindou rolled his eyes and threw it in his trashcan. "What an idiot.."

-----------

When you walked into Ran's room he was waiting for you on his bed. The window was finally open and let in a cool breeze.

He clicked his tongue when you fell face first into his bed. If this mattress could talk.. There would probably be a few cum stains yelling. "Paapaaa." "Papaa Ran, hold me."

You would normally shoot up and go home to scrub yourself raw-- IF you were sober. But right now.. you were getting tired.

Ran cleared his throat. "So I was thinking--"

You cut him off. "Did it hurt?"

He pushed your head into his mattress a little deeper. But you could hear the smile in his words. "Shut up."

You snorted and motioned for him to go on with your hand.

He took a second but eventually spit it out. "Why don't we just date?"

"Huh?" You turned to see Ran in your bubble. You pushed his face away. "Act like your hairline Haitani and back up a couple inches."

Ran deadpanned. "I'm serious."

You laughed. "Hell no."

He seemed hurt. "Why not?"

You gave him a droll look. "Why not? Why NOT?! You're not boyfriend material Ran."

He held his hands over his heat. Fake ass.. "Ouch! I'm hurting. Kiss me to make it better."

...Oh.

You scoffed. "Damn it Ran! You're just horny. I'm going home."

He stopped you before you could even get up. "No. Seriously.. What's wrong with dating me? You know what you're getting into, you know I'm an asshole already. You already know what kind of person I am and the shit I'm into and I know what kind of person you are. It makes sense right?"

You scrunched up your nose. "That's the problem. We're too much alike. We'll probably fight everyday."

He shook his head and smiled. "So? At least we'll be able to mad fuck after. I last longer when I'm mad."

That was a joke.. he could go on for hours! *Snort*

You were about to tell him to fuck off.

"Just one kiss. If you feel nothing I won't bring it up again. I just wanna see."

It was probably just the weed talking. It couldn't have been that Ran secretly had a thing for you.. nooo. Not that.. It wasn't because he was fed up with watching you waste time on little pussies when he was right there. Just waiting for you to be his.. No it wasn't the weed that gave him enough confidence to do what he's been thinking about.

And it must be the weed that kept you on Ran's bed...

It's the weeds fault you didn't tell him "No." when he asked to kiss you again. And it was the weeds fault you kept on going.-- totally not the way you actually felt comfortable around Ran, and it's not like you found him kinda attractive either..

He was just a friend-- You were his friend--- You both were bad at lying. Couldn't even convince yourselves..

Your mind was buzzing. But so was your body.. and no. It wasn't a bad feeling.

The kiss was sweet and slow. The complete opposite of what you and Ran were really like. You both tried to hide it-- but again, you knew one another so why bother?!

+++++

Underwear was the only modestly you and Ran had on right now. You were pretty sure you ripped his shirt in two-- that's okay. Your bra was fucked too.

It's funny.. You both had gotten high and drunk together hundreds of times. You've hung out just for the hell of it, hell you even napped together sometimes! Why did you both wait so long to do this?

Your back arched when Ran's fingers curled deep inside you. His thumb drawing tight figure eights on your slippery clit.

Rindou was in the next room.. Poor guy-- Ran shut you with a sloppy kiss. Teeth clanking and tongues rolling. But in reality, he didn't want his little brother to hear the sounds that were only meant for him. He was the most greedy out of the two anyway.

Geez possessive already?

He couldn't help it. His dick was hard and up against your thigh. It hasn't even felt the squeeze of your soft walls yet and he was losing his mind. Should he be embarrassed of all the pre cum that soaked though his underwear and onto your skin? Probably-- but your pussy around his fingers made his brain slower than the weed ever could.

He let out a groan when your cunt began to flutter and grip at his fingers. Your thighs began to twitch and you nails dug into the skin of his arm and back before your tried to push him away.

He's heard stories... That's probably why he wanted you so bad but-- (That's what he told himself..)

His speed picked up and he pushed against that soft spot deep inside everytime he shoved his fingers in. He wanted to keep you quiet but found himself lost in the way you sounded.. The way his name came out, a tone of pleasure-- desperation, instead of annoyance.

He could get used to this..

You let out a pornographic like moans that he began to mock but quickly they became real and breathy just like yours.

Clear liquid began to gush out of you and Ran's never been so happy to have his mattress ruined.

He couldn't wait anymore. His cock was stiff and beginning to hurt. Your underwear was yanked off from the middle of your legs. His was already gone..

You felt a little shy while he spread you wider for him. He was just staring..

"What? I have clitter glitter too?"

He smiled. "You're glittering with something else. I don't really wanna waste it."

Before you could ask.

His face was between your thighs. Your fingers tangled in his hair. That braid that was hanging on for dear life gave up it's battle long ago. You hardly saw him with his hair down, but it was doing something to you..

Especially when he looked up and groaned into your pussy. Like he was a starved man and eating his very last meal all at the same time.

He finally came up for air. "Can I fuck you now?"

You shrugged. "Sure. I'm just here enjoying my time until you man up and shove it in."

Ran wanted to argue but he was getting desperate.( he wasn't going to tell you that.) But he did tell himself you were just as needy. Especially since you were quick to wrap your legs around him when he climb up.

One more kiss-- Ran hissed when he lined himself up to your entrance. His head was the only inches he had in-- why were you still so tight? What was wrong with you?

He was going to have to shove himself in. Eh, he'd feel bad about it later---

+++++

Ran's room door swung open...

Rindou walked in. He didn't even seem bothered that you literally threw Ran off of you and covered yourself with his bedsheets.

Ran was so red! Rindou wanted to laugh but held it in.

"What the fuck Rin?! I'm going to beat your ass!"

He ignored his brother and looked at you. "So, quick question. You think having a bubble machine at one of my gigs is a good move or?"

..... Was he fucking serious? Your high was dying a bit-- Did you really almost fuck Ran? WTF?

You shook your head and leaned back on his headboard. "Uh.. What?"

Rindou rolled his eyes while Ran was just flabbergasted. Were you really answering Rindou's stupid questions.

"Bubbles? I was asked if I could DJ at some rave."

You let out a little "oh.." before you perked up. "A rave you say? What kind of bubbles? Because if I were you, I'd get some neon colored solution so it would look trippy under the black lights."

You two began to talk like Ran wasn't naked on the floor and you weren't naked in his bed.

(Rin) "Wanna go with me?"

You tilted your head. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

You liked to dance.. "When?"

He took out his phone. "In like an hour. You can be my dancer and be with me on stage if you want?"

"Oh hell yeah!" Both brothers blinked when you ran out to go get ready. You didn't bother to get dressed or anything! Just wrapped up in Ran's sheets and out the back door.

Rin was the first to break out of his perverted thoughts. Since Ran still had his pants around his ankles. He could use this opportunity..

Rindou stepped up to his big brother. Wearing his stupid smirk.. "Are you mad?"

Hell yeah he was! But Rindou didn't let him say shit.

"I bet you're mad.. But you know what? Do you remember a few summers back? We were bored out of our minds, then suddenly a big orange moving van pulled up?."

Ran was gritting his teeth. "What?-- orange van? The only time we've seen one was when Y/n moved in next door."

Rindou scoffed. " Looks like you haven't completely smoked out your brain. But remember when she stepped out of her parents car? What did I say?-- I called dibs.."

Ran stood up and pulled up his pants. "I don't know what you're talking about. And I don't care. Get over here so I can bash your face in."

Rindou stepped back and smiled. He was mocking Ran by shaking his finger in his face. "Ah ah.. If you hit my face she'll ask what happened. I'll tell her you did it. She won't talk to you for a good while."

He was right... You always gave him shit and told him to be nicer to Rindou. He protected his baby brother all the time. They were together all the fucking time. How was that being mean?!

Instead of the face Rindou got a good punch to the gut. It had so much force that it actually hurt a little to pee..

Eh, to Rindou-- it was all worth it.. Especially since he had you next to him all night.

[omgcpausandstuff]

Let's talk about this outfit:

This is right after early morning practice in August. Jack doesn't wear collared shirts on a day to day basis, and there's no way it's cold enough Jack needs layers. What gives?

Well, we see later how SMH is supposed to dress when they're trying to appear respectable while repping the team.

So it seems like Jack might need to go act somewhere in his official capacity as captain. I bet he's got his tie in his pocket. It's fun to imagine him getting wolf whistles after practice as he puts on a nice shirt and slacks but I don't know that the relationship is there for anyone but Shitty. We do know that they do get to the point where the team gets a big kick out of mocking him when he's got to act like a big deal.

Is it for an interview with the daily? I'm pretty sure it's noteworthy that they made it to the playoffs last year (Jack's first year as captain) so it makes sense that they might want to do a feature that's more serious than the examples we see of reporters just popping up to interview him in the extras.

(Shout-out to @doggernaut who chatted with me about this and pointing out Chowder violating the dress code with his sharks hoodie. Does he get a goalie pass? A Chowder pass? Does he just eat any fine levied against him and consider it worth the price? Much to consider.)

[twignotstick]

Snow Day Plus One ☃️

Words: 2,001

Summary: Casey has an opportunity to bond with her new turtle friends! But how will she handle it?

Notes: My @tmnt-secret-santa-2024 for @bambiraptorx! Sorry this took so long, the writing really got me, combined with my life presenting numerous obstacles. In the end, I'm pretty happy with it, and I hope you like it too!

----------------------

Cassandra Jones wasn’t one to get out much. Ever since her… villainous employment… the number of outings lessened even more. She was seen by people as “disruptive” and “loud”. She couldn’t find many friends outside of the Foot Clan, so when she met the turtles, she found it to be a golden opportunity. Not only were they weird and loud, they were social outcasts. There were so many things for her to relate to!

The major hurdle was the fact that they used to be her greatest enemies.

Casey thought they were nice, but it was clear that there was still a bit of tension. She was able to hang out with April a bit more regularly, which allowed her to get critical insider information. Get to know them. That’s what that was. April had told her about their love of Lou Jitsu (and their unreasonable distaste for Punch Chowder), their favorite pizza place, their general vibes. All of it just made Casey want to hang out with them more. Yet, somehow, during the few meetups they had already had, she always managed to ruin it.

This time would be different.

The plan was simple; April had invited her to join in on the turtles’ annual “Snow Day”. She would bring a relaxed aura, happily helping build snowmen and make snow angels. No high energy screaming, no violent outbursts, and absolutely no murderous intent. April gave a very nice debrief in the car ride over-

“Last year was weird. Ghostbear showed up, got mutated, tried to kill us all, but it turned out alright. This year, there should be no surprise villains. Just enjoying the snow.”

“Yes! NO VILLAINS!” Casey said passionately. “Only reformed villains, excited to take part in the FESTIVE ACTIVITIES!”

April laughed, putting the car in park. “That’s right. I know you’re gonna do great out there.”

“I will!” Casey pulled on her gloves, opening the passenger door. “I will crush this social outing like the bones of my enemies. IF I HAD THOSE!”

“You know, you don’t have to-”

“Let us take on this fun day with FULL CONFIDENCE!”

The girls walked into the park, where the turtles were already having their fun. Mikey laid on his back, attempting to create the perfect snow angel. The numerous failed attempts were strewn around him, and Raph stood next to him, watching him criticize his work. Leo and Donnie were just a bit away, climbing up a hill of snow to sled down. April walked over toward them, while Casey decided to approach Raph and Mikey.

“How’s my form?” Mikey asked, making every wave of his arms deliberately. “Am I symmetrical?”

“Uhh…” Raph looked across all of the other angels, then back down at Mikey. “Raph thinks it looks just as good as the last 10.”

“But the last 10 sucked!” Mikey sat up carefully, doing his best not to disturb what he had done. He stepped out of the angel carefully, then looked down at his work. “Agh, so close! My shoulder went too deep.”

Raph noticed Casey had walked up, turning and smiling widely at her. “Hey, Cassandra! We’re happy to have you.”

“Hello to you, large turtle!” Casey turned to Mikey criticizing his handiwork. “And to you, small turtle! What challenge are we attempting to defeat?”

“I need to make the perfect snow angel while the snow’s still this deep!” Mikey crouched down and scooped up a handful of snow, as if that illustrated his point. “There’s 16 inches, which means, if I do it right, there won't be any grass showing through!”

“Grass hasn’t shown through on any of them, though?” Raph said.

“But none of them were perfect, Raph!”

Raph sighed, looking to Casey for her input.

“May I attempt?” Casey asked, fire already brewing in her chest. “I believe that I can create a perfect snow angel.”

Mikey eyed her curiously, then grinned. “Sure! Maybe you can get a better balance than me without a shell.”

Determined, Casey found a new spot of snow and laid down. She took a deep breath and began waving her arms and legs. Mikey and Raph both stood by, watching with wide eyes as her waving grew in speed and intensity. Snow started flying, covering the turtles’ bodies and faces. When Casey finally slowed down and stepped out of her masterpiece, both turtles wiped the snow from their faces and looked down in awe.

“How did… how did you make it all the way through, everywhere?” Raph asked, genuinely perplexed. “You got through to the grass under your back! Your body wasn’t even moving!”

“THIS IS PERFECT!” Mikey crouched next to Casey’s physically impossible snow angel, marvelling over it. “I mean, it isn’t conventional, but there’s no flaws! You made a perfect snow angel!”

“Of COURSE I DID!” Casey confidently exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips. “I am a master of the snow-angelic form. Creating one is no challenge.” Truthfully, she was just as surprised and pleased as Mikey was; she hadn’t made a snow angel in years.

Raph grabbed her shoulders from behind, giving her a small shake. “You’re a natural at Snow Day stuff! My snow angels always end up looking like a crash site. You’re gonna make this day even more fun!”

“Of course! I-” Casey was cut off by the sound of Leonardo squealing across the park. The trio turned just in time to see Donatello pushing Leo onto the ground, the latter falling dramatically with a hand to his heart. April stood by them, holding a palm against her forehead.

Casey, Mikey, and Raph all walked over to investigate what could have brought Donnie just a bit closer to fratricide. Seeing the backup arrive, April sighed. “Thank goodness. I don’t think I could have handled these two squabbling on my own any more.”

“You know you love us,” Donnie said calmly. “My brother, however, is quickly losing the privilege of my affection, and I suggest you follow my example.”

“Raphie,” Leo whined, crawling through the snow to reach his eldest brother. “Donnie’s bullying me!”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Raph said, peeling Leo’s arms off where they had latched onto his leg.

“What is the issue?” Casey asked. “I will use whatever means necessary to solve it.”

April winced. “I don’t think that’s-”

“Nardo is proving once again how terrible his opinions are.” Donnie kicked snow in Leo’s direction, causing him to roll away to avoid it. “We had a plan that would have removed any and all arguments on this illustrious Snow Day™, but Leo just had to be a contrarian.”

“We didn’t even all agree on that part yet!” Standing up and shaking the snow off of him, Leo pointed a finger into Donnie’s face. “Lou Jitsu is nearly unrecognizable without his jumpsuit!”

“Wait,” Mikey interrupted, pushing between them. “What's this about again?”

“Our snowman!” Leo scoffed, as if it was obvious. He caught the confused look on Casey’s face and sighed. “Every year, we build a snowman. Last year, it was Jupiter Jim, but we had a whole snowball fight because we couldn’t pick our favorite movie. So, this year, we decided to use a character who we all agreed on-”

“Lou Jitsu,” Donnie interjected.

“Ah!” Casey’s face lit up, finally feeling like she recognized the significance of the argument, then proceeded to return to its confused state. “So, why are you disagreeing?”

“Because we can’t decide on what outfit to put him in. I said we should put him in his classic jumpsuit, because he’s Lou Jitsu, but Donnie said we should put him in his outfit from Mount LouFuJitsu.”

“Because it would be extremely nonsensical to put him in a jumpsuit in the snow.”

“He is snow! He’s a snowman!”

“That changes nothing.”

As she facepalmed, April’s eyes moved to the other witnesses of the chaos, silently asking for input. Unfortunately, the other brothers only began contributing to the argument, not coming to a proper conclusion. Raph sided with Leo, and Mikey with Donnie.

Casey knew that the turtles were teens, and brothers, but she hadn’t quite realized the implications behind those facts. They seemed so in sync whenever she fought with them, seeing them opposing each other was strange. Especially over something so petty and insignificant. All this shouting, shoving, and friendly brawling over something as small as what outfit to put on their snowman?

“April!” Raph shouted, silencing all his brothers. “You pick! Jumpsuit, or snow suit?”

April threw her hands up, raising her shoulders. “Don’t look at me! I’m not gonna be the reason this escalates!”

All the turtles’ eyes turned to Casey expectantly. Her eyes widened, having not expected to be turned into the center of attention.

“You gotta help us pick, Casey,” Mikey said, looking at her with big, puppy dog eyes. “You agree with me and D, right?”

“Uhh…” Casey hesitated to choose. She didn’t want any of the guys to not like her; she was really enjoying getting to hang out with them. Whatever side she chose, she needed to make sure it worked out with everyone.

She had a sudden stroke of genius.

Puffing out her chest, she shouted, “All of you are idiots! None of your depictions of Lou Jitsu are accurate at all!”

The turtles looked at her like she had grown a third eye. “Casey,” Leo placated, putting an arm on her shoulder, “I know you like Punch Chowder, but we’ve seen every Lou Jitsu movie. We know Lou Jitsu.”

“EXACTLY!” She pointed exaggeratedly into his face. “The real Lou Jitsu doesn’t wear a jumpsuit, or a snow suit! He wears a raggedy old robe, and pulls it off quite well!”

The turtles continued to look at her confused, but April laughed and broke the awkwardness. “Wait, you’re saying we should build a snow-Splinter?”

“Exactly! Only the truest, most die-hard fans would create a snowman that looks like Lou Jitsu in real life.”

The turtles shared glances, deciding whether or not to go along with it. A smile crept onto their faces.

“I call making his wrinkly face!” Leo said, scurrying off to start gathering snow.

“Hey, no fair, you’ll make him look weird!” Mikey ran after him.

“I’ll start figuring out the best dimensions,” Donnie said, sauntering off to pick a good spot.

Raph walked up to Casey. “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting something like that from you. Thanks a lot.”

Casey grinned, her chest glowing with pride. “Thank you. I cannot await what other challenges your antics will present to me.” Her expression grew determined as she prepared to face whatever these reptiles threw at her.

Raph nodded, running over to stop Mikey from shoving snow down Leo’s jacket. April laughed at them, looking at Casey with an approving look before going to join.

The afternoon carried on, and Casey continued to get to know the mannerisms of the turtles. They were constantly bickering, and she found herself using any opportunity presented to get involved in it. Even April would contribute. Casey became relaxed as the time passed, feeling a strange sort of comfort with these new friends that she hadn’t felt for a long time.

The snow-rat turned out just as wrinkly and scrappy as imagined. Once it was finished, Raph wrapped his arms around everyone, grinning wide. “Great job, guys. Now, we can go back to the lair and ask the real Dad to make us some hot cocoa!”

All the boys cheered, already running off to reach the lair first. April lagged behind with Casey. “You did great, Case. I knew you’d handle yourself just fine.”

“Of course I did! These turtles are NO MATCH FOR ME!” Pausing, Casey reeled herself back. “In a totally not evil way.”

“Yeah, I know.” April grabbed Casey’s arm, excited. “Now, lets go get some hot chocolate and see who starts complaining about their number of marshmallows.”

“It will be Leonardo, no doubt.” Casey grinned, walking with a new pep in her step.

○●○●○●○

Hope you enjoyed!

[kibblemode]

I know like nothing about any of ur ocs or works so, could you sum up telling me about whichever you want so I can ask more questions in person? Please feel free to make the ask as long as possible!

stares autistically...YAYU..galaxy quest is my Main ocverse bc its almost 11 yrs old now and its just been a default in my mind since i was 11-12ish but capitalist creepshow is a close 2nd with how fleshed out it is...my oc carrd has some good info character wise but its lacking on worldbuilding + plot stuff bc im insanely character focused and suck at that shit badly LOL, also the plot/episode page and number of seasons on gq's page is outdated bc i recently like completely redid the plot and havent updated it yet 😭 anyway u can have existing gq lore. sorry if this is weirdly worded and hard to understand im at work rn 😢 i also have a couple scattered tumblr posts on random important bits of lore/character stuff ill get them later. oh ya and toyhouse if u want to see whos who or whatever. a couple side characters havent been redesigned yet but ill get there eventually lol

gq is like. a 90s-2000s CN styled adult cartoon (i always sum it up as if futurama and chowder were 1 cartoon. BIG BIG influences from chowder especially with the voice acting my goddd )..its Planned to have 5 seasons, it used to be 4 but with the new plot i had to add one to fit it in without Completely starting over on every single season lol, also perhaps 1 semi canon movie and a small side series for a bunch of silly mostly canon fillers i couldnt fit into the show itself.

so like i said im bad at having a consistent plot, also words are hard for me so ur getting a Very shitty bastardized version of what i Do have.

Basically it takes place mostly on 2 planets, earth and alkaliba(i hate this name i made it up when i was like 15ish, i just cant think of something better rn😔) its initially in 2009, but actually this is like a Different 2009. bc basically there was a mass extinction like several hundred million years ago and everything just kinda started over but like only Slightly different (sounds stupid af out loud but just trust me ok) alkaliba had existed for a Very long time the next galaxy over and it just so happens that the planet is dying and all their natural resources are fucked. so melody (lenarrs mom) set up an agreement with alkaliba that they could borror resources from earth. (melody is thousands of years old, but thats a secret lol) also melody was from another dimension Also a very powerful sorcerer and kept most of her spells and whatnot in her journal But its written in her native dimensions language which nobody on earth (except lenarr) can read. anyway she used her magic to connect the 2 planets using a series of portals called stargates (again. subject to change, also they connect to a Lot of other planets besides just earth but whatever) that allowed ppl to easily travel between the 2. bc of this alkaliba Kinda "colonized" (FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD) earth? and that was normal for a few thousand years.

anyway for s1 jump ahead to where canon starts (2009) tix is sent to earth by meredith (queen of alkaliba, tix is her son but u dont know that until later in s1 when they actually Go to alkaliba) to pretty much track lenarr down and convince him to use his powers he inherented from melody (lenarr is not aware of this at all) to pretty much save alkaliba (BIG SPOILER. THIS IS SOMEWHAT DISHONEST. sure lenarr could Choose to save alkaliba but that would result in the destruction of earth or it could be vice versa. it cant be both BUT youll see) so he find lenarr Completely by coincidence after lenarr offers to help him bc tix has never seen snow or ice in his life and is having Difficulty. anyway this is ridiculous that i havent figured this out after 10+ years but tix does Something to convince lenarr to go with him, bc obviously lenarr would be very hesitant to. a bunch of shit happens u know the drill 1st episode shit to establish everything. i could type out a full episode 1 plot but i don't particularly want to rn😢

s2-3 is just mostly playing toys w my characters and tix teaching lenarr how to use his powers (s1 finale is when lenarr starts to Get it but u know) also s2 is noodles villain arc and s3 has eugene in it which is so fun bc i really really like noodle and eugene is funny. OH AND THE MAIN VILLAINS. hydro is the Main antagonist but he has 5 other idek what to call them. henchmen????? that either work for him (griff, dimentia, derric) Or are loyal to him bc he practically saved their life (grem and pixie, also dimentia a little? its complicated) and while Yes hydro IS a villain and he IS evil, hes actually just trying to save earth bc in his mind alkaliba is actually like the typical alien invasion thing u see in movies (not exactly whats happening but it Is possible u could see it that way) he just goes abt it in the weirdest most fucked up way possible. also BIG plotpoint worth mentioning, grem and tix were dating for at least 3000+ years before tix left him for his (now deceased) wife, which grem is Extremely bitter abt. so hes obviously loyal to hydro bc hydro helped him escape his abusive father BUT hes also doing it for himself to get back at tix. (important note tix Was the asshole in that situation 100%, grem is actually right to be upset a little but probably not That much) anyway once lenarr tix and zach(forgot to mention zach is tixs best friend who tix brings along bc hes smart and good at strategizing, also bc tix is GAYYYYYY) get to alkaliba finally it is literally impossible to conceal the fact that tix is a prince there. and bc lenarr doesnt know the Real reason why hes there he doesnt think much of it, in fact he finds it weird that tix wouldnt tell him that.

jumping allll the way to s4 when the Actual shit goes down. this is where shit gets less in depth bc its Extremely new..this is when lenarr learns that hes being used to basically doom earth, u know. his home planet. (considering having either hydro or grem tell him, not in a nice way either) obviously he gets really upset abt this, Especially bc its been at least a couple years since canon started and zach and tix are basically like family to him at this point. he probably runs off idk. i need to think abt it more bc i JUST made this up but im considering recycling an OLDD concept from like early highschool gq where lenarr gets to visit melody in her home dimension. also forgot to mention. melody and lenarrs older brother ruben both committed suicide when lenarr was younger. melody only did it to go back to her home dimension, but ruben did it bc he got rlly depressed after melody died ÷(

anyway lenarr gets to see melody, its very sweet ÷) he talks to her abt his problem abd she gives him some kinda cryptic advice bc Plot. this changes lenarr basically, at this point hes mastered melodys spellbook and Now he can create his own spells or whatever. SO. he comes up with a way to make it so NEITHER planet gets destroyed somehow. this works bc lenarr is actually like twice as powrful as melody at his full potential. after this the main villains would most likely have their redemption arcs somehow i havent thought up What exactly happens yet. and for s5 its basically just me wrapping things up and playing with my toys freely...theres still active plot happening thats very relevant to the story obviously but its a liiiiitle less high stakes and thats all i got in regards to the main plot bc if i sat here and typed a detailed explanation of my fun fillers id be here for years

SOME GENERAL TRIVIA FUN FACTS DEVELOPMENT SHIT 4 FUNSIES TOO.

originally gq was Not supposed to be a cartoon nor was it an ocverse. it was a fucking spm fan spinoff i made up bc i was autistic af and 12. grem was my first ever oc that was Not a fursona and he was actually terrible like as a person. i mean hes kinda terrible now but not as bad

griffs name was changed a few years after i made him. it used to be falcon (STUPID AF BUT I WAS 12. REMEMBER THIS.) also i thought itd be funny for his name to be griff bc youd think its short for griffon but no its short for grifford. also texs and tiabia names were changed too. tiabis name was janette and she was actually originally an adult but i thought itd be better if she was 7

like 99.999% of my original designs and concept art + silly little comics of my villains bc it was just them when it was still a mario thing is lost media forever bc my mom accidentally threw it all away when we moved to a new house i miss it every dayyyy id do Anything to see it again..... the Only original stuff i have is from highschool and i fucking hate my artstyle then so its sad af...its just lenarrs finalized design (which actually barely changed since then) and MAYBE if i looked hard enough thru my old computers i could find zachs original design too? idk i dont feel like looking

speaking of the spm thing. dimentia was supposed to be dimentios little sister which is why shes named that (original i know) but i decided to take the name a different direction after it became its own thing

grem went through the most design changes by a huge margin, but imo derrics few redesigns were the most insane and drastic. pixie went through One change and it got reversed a couple years later LOL

some Stupid reasons behind design changes were 1. hydro used to have 4 heads, hence the dumbass wordplay on "hydra" but i got so fucking fed up with drawing them every time + i kept forgetting to so i just made him a regular dragon. and 2. griff has his mask bc i literally just kept getting mad trying to draw his face right. thats literally it. thats the only reason.

fun fact noodle was probably my least favorite oc before i redesigned him. i hated him SO FUCKING MUCH especiallyafter i came up with his villain arc. now hes my favorite toy and i lovie

HUGE props to my bff @/killer12345blog. hes literally my cowriter and theres a couple characters of his in the main canon that play a HUGE part (eugene, daffodil, and louise) also eugene was actually a joke character and i HATED HIM (AS PART OF THE BIT) but i randomly got really attached to him now hes the villain for s3😇

gq was actually RECENTLY renamed. it used to be H.I.D.E. dont ask me what it means or what it stands for idfkkkkk i thought itd come to me eventually but it didnt so i changed it bc w/o a meaning it was just dumb af

tix was originally very very small. like around pixies size. also gq was still a video game for a bit but it was like its own Thing by then. tix was intended to be the tutorial character kinda like tippi

also im going to go ahead and say this LMAO. the original alkaliban designs were Heavily inspired by homestuck bc thats what i liked back then. ive tried soooo hard to make it not as obvious but i feel like itll always be so so obvious 😭

im actually kinda considering having gq be 3d animated instead of 2d, stylistically if that were the case itd look kinda like. idk. do u remember that moomins cartoon they made a few years ago. like that. but i seriously doubt ill end up making it 3d anyway

i fucking hate musicals usually but my GOD are there a couple showtunes i want in there. jfc. i have a dedicated yt playlist of songs i want in gq Or relate heavily to certain characters/events. hi. speaking of i like to think gq would have a very 80s cartoon soundtrack like the one in labyrinth or something similar

tix and zach were originally Much younger. tix was like 19 or 20 and zach was 17 iirc? i changed that bc 1. dumb and 2. i wanted tix and zach to be in love i didnt quite like the age gap it was a little iffy

the origin of lenarrs name is kinda silly. i was having trouble coming up w a fitting name and one day after school we drove past a sign for lennar homes or whatever the companys called and i went AHAAAAAAAH!☝️🤑

i think noodle was originally brazillian, idr why that changed..also tex was japanese iirc

tix is like Billions of years old probably. its intentionally left unclear and vague but also IDEFK.

im probably forgetting LOADS of important shit but whatever....u get the idea + ive been typing for like 2 hours in between work shit

[billypoindexter]

“Frog Study Time” rarely included any actual studying. Chowder would suggest that the three of them get together to work on homework, and it wouldn’t take long for the books and computers to be abandoned in favor of the stupidest conversation topics known to man (their conversation about Barbie movie lore had gotten so out of hand that they were unofficially banned from all going to the library together). But even though they all realized that these study sessions were literally a waste of time at this poitn, Nursey and Dex never turned down Chowder’s offer.

This particular Wednesday night Dex was doing his best to fight the urge to yap, as he needed to make headway on his comp sci midterm before their roadie this weekend. Nursey hadn’t even grabbed any of his books before pulling Chowder onto Dex’s (“the top bunk won’t hold us both!”), and Dex was doing his best to tune them out while he coded. But even with good intentions, Dex knew there was no way he wouldn’t inevitably be drawn into the chitchat.

“Nineteen is not old, Nursey!”

“Dude, you’re literally a D1 athlete, you can’t tell me that no one was interested before Caitlin.”

“Just because girls were interested doesn’t mean I had to oblige. I wanted to wait for someone I actually liked.”

Dex must have been focusing in way more than he thought, because he had no idea how Chowder and Nursey started talking about their first hookups. It wasn’t unusual for the team as a whole to discuss their sex lives, but with the frogs they usually geared their conversations towards more sophisticated subjects, such as Barbie movies

Nursey turned toward Dex at his desk, and Dex could hear the annoying grin on his face as he said, “Bet you waited for someone special, Pointdexter. You seem the sentimental type.”

Dex just continued to type and squint at his computer screen. “Actually, I’ve never had sex.”

Chowder slammed closed his psych textbook—there’s a chance he had opened it at that moment just so he could slam it closed for dramatic effect—and shouted, “HOW DID WE NOT KNOW THAT????” He let out a moan of despair. “We’re supposed to tell each other everything!”

“Yeah, what happened to the sacred frog bond?” Nursey added.

Dex shrugged, doing his best to not get drawn in. Realistically, he knew that he wasn’t going to get anymore work done, but he continued to stare at his computer in the hopes that he could refocus.

“Dude, we can totally find a chick to hook you up with. Unless I was right about you being a romantic,” ribbed Nursey. “Also, we can see you’re not working on your midterm anymore, so you can give up the act.”

Huffing, Dex swiveled around in his desk chair and crossed his arms. Chowder was leaning forward, elbows on his knees and chin in his hands as he stared at Dex. Nursey, ever chill, was leaning on his side, messing up Dex’s pillows as he propped his head on the back of his hand.

“I never said anything because it never came up,” said Dex flatly. “And I’m not a romantic, I’m just not interested.”

“C’mon,” whined Chowder, “give us the chance to find you someone!”

Dex shook his head as he clarified, “No, I mean I’m not interested in sex.”

A pause. Two blank faces looking at him. As much as Dex wanted to play it cool, he could feel his heart beating a bit faster and a blush creep up his neck; he’d never admit that to anyone before, even though he’d known it himself for a while.

Nursey was the first to break the silence: “Huh.” (This guy really knows how to make use of all those English classes.)

“Wow, really?” asked Chowder, clearly curious, sitting up straighter. “You’ve never seen a girl and wanted to…ya know…” He made some weird hand gestures that Dex very much did not know, but he got the idea.

“Nope.” He took a breath and added more quietly, “It’s not really girls that I look at, anyway.”

Again a pause. Again two blank faces. Again a quickening heartbeat and a spreading blush, as Dex voiced another thought that wasn’t new to him. But this time Chowder was the one who reacted first.

“Oh! Oh, ok!” He clapped his hands together. “We’re learning so much tonight! This has got to be one of our more productive study sessions.”

He grinned brightly at Dex. He gave him a smile back, not as big but just as genuine. He then flicked his eyes to Nursey, who also had a small smile as he slowly nodded his head. “Right on, Pointdexter.”

Nursey and Dex held each other’s gazes for a moment longer, then Dex cleared his throat and announced that that was enough emotion for one night and turned back to his computer. He worked a bit longer, letting Nursey and Chowder get back to their conversation (“You were seventeen and you’re giving me grief for being nineteen? Oh fuck off!”).

Chowder gave Dex a hug before heading back to his room for the night, which wasn’t unusual, even if this one was tighter and longer lasting than most. Nursey let Dex use the bathroom first while he worked on extricating himself from the bottom bunk and smoothing out the bedding. After brushing his teeth, Dex headed back to the room and passed Nursey, who grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Hey,” he said softly, seriously. Once Dex turned his head to him, he continued. “Do you want to talk more about it?”

Nursey had come out as pan to the team last year. Dex knew him and Bitty had talked about being queer and playing collegiate hockey, and the difficulties that could sometimes came with that. He tensed up for a second, thinking that Nursey was upset that he hadn’t said anything about his sexuality before, but there was nothing but concern in his face.

Dex shook off Nursey’s hand. “No, I’m alright,” he said, making his way to his bunk.

Later, as they both were laying in their beds, Dex spoke again. “Thank you, though. For, um…for offering. I appreciate it.”

“See, I knew that you’re secretly a softy.”

Dex rolled his eyes at that and reached with the palm of his hand out to punch the bedframe above him. Then he turned and nestled into his pillows, breathing deeply of the scent the lingered there and trying not to think about why he liked it so much.

[collecting-stories]

Sweet Nothing - Carmen Berzatto

Request: I love Taylor inspired fics!! And I adore your writing style!! Maybe The Last Time or Sweet nothings for Carmy X reader?

Summary: No plot really, just Carmy and reader hanging out.

A/N: This is really more of a drabble style without much depth outside of just fluff. I tried to make it longer there's just not much of a plot to work with to do that I feel like. Also I made a delicious vegan clam chowder the other night for dinner, on a side note.

TS Anthology Series | The Bear Masterlist

...you're in the kitchen humming...

The worst part of dating a chef was the one thing that everyone always assumed would be the best part. He could cook, naturally, and Carmy could cook better than a whole lot of other really talented chefs but that didn't mean he cooked at home. Running a restaurant meant being at work more than he was home and usually, by the time he got back at night, neither of you were particularly interested in cooking anything that required greater skill than boiling water. Sometimes even that was too much. Your family, and your friends too, always commented on how lucky you were to have a 'personal chef' as if Carmy was just in the kitchen 24/7, waiting for you to tell him what you wanted to eat. You always laughed and agreed but what you wanted to say was that sometimes he didn't even want to look at a pan or a knife when he was home. 

This week, especially, felt like hell. You'd seen him for thirty minutes two days ago when you stopped in for lunch but otherwise you were what your grandmother described as 'two ships passing in the night'. You didn't think you could really count passing out next to his already asleep body on the queen mattress you kept meaning to replace an actual relationship. It wasn't always so bad, sometimes it was better, most of the time it felt worse. The Bear was getting ready to launch and Carmy's attention was hyperfocused on not failing before he started and you were busy with your own work load and neither of you had ever been willing to cave on work, even if it meant actually spending time with each other. Which was maybe why your relationship worked...or maybe it was some sort of 'once in a blue moon' that your relationship worked because at this point you were shocked that neither of you had called it off. Of course, that would require seeing each other...probably. 

"You know my first thought was that someone broke into our apartment and was cooking dinner," you announced, stopping in the kitchen entryway. Carmy turned to look over his shoulder at you, blue eyes a little glazed over (either from lack of sleep or that happy sort of numbness that came from being home and not having to see anyone, Richie, for the rest of the day). 

"Was this person like, a robber...like a robber just cooking you dinner?" He asked, a rare smile appearing. God, he couldn't remember the last time he smiled this week. Or last week. 

"They weren't making me dinner, just in general, making dinner. They broke in, got hungry, made a sandwich or something, and then...like they'd steal my laptop or something." You replied, pulling your sweater over your head before crossing the small space the apartment provided to kiss your boyfriend, "granted I'm glad it's you and not a robber."

"You said you were home early today," he replied, turning back to the food he was cooking as you walked into the bedroom to change. 

"I know, but that was like, one in the morning and you literally gave me a thumbs up without even lifting your hand off the bed in response so...wasn't exactly counting on you coming home," you explained, changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt, anything to get out of the clothes you'd been wearing all day, "besides I didn't mean it in a like, you have to come home because I'm home, just like a 'hey I'm actually going to be home today' kind a thing." 

"Richie's training this week and everything else is pretty much getting there."

"Oh well, pretty much getting there? Call Cicero, you can open tomorrow," you teased, "since you're not a robber and you are making me dinner, what are you making?"

"Clam chowder," he said, sounding almost like he didn't believe it himself. He wasn't exactly a big fan of soups, mostly because he found them boring and limited, but you loved them. Especially when cold weather hit and then all you wanted was some soup and grilled cheese and extra bread. When he'd made fun of you for your tastes once you had shrugged and told him you couldn't help it if your tastes were basic ("I didn't go to the CIA or NOMA or whatever. I like what I like").

"Clam chowder? Are you shitting me?" You asked, peering over his shoulder into the pot he had on the stove.

"I am not, in fact, shitting you." He replied. 

"Insane," you hooked your arms around his stomach and leaned against his back, not at all concerned about the fact that he was still technically cooking, "you're like the best boyfriend ever, have I ever told you that?"

"You tell me that every time I cook for you which seems like maybe you're only using me..." He joked. You kissed the back of his neck and then his cheek when he turned his head to the side, forcing another smile from him. 

It was hard to comprehend sometimes, to the point that Carmy literally had to remind himself, that the home the two of you had created (though hectic and sometimes not occupied) was genuinely the most calming place he'd ever been. Growing up with his mom and dad, and even Mikey and Sugar, had been like living on a landmine, waiting for it to explode on him if he made a wrong move. It never felt like that here, even when the outside world started to feel like that. 

"Do you need help?" You asked, letting him go and moving to the bar cart you had in the living room, in search of a good wine. 

"Nah, I'm almost done," he replied, "did I tell you about the gas line?"

You held a glass out to him, taking a long sip of your own, "no, what happened with the gas line?" 

Carmy started to retell the story, moving around the kitchen easily while you took a seat and listened to him, allowing him to capture your entire attention. The busy schedules and the barely seeing each other and the stress felt like it would crush you sometimes but it was entirely worth it to be able to come home early, at least every once in a while, and just sit there, listening to Carmy. 

[invinciblerodent]

Baldur's Gate 3's Potato Chowder - RECIPE

So a few days ago, I found this recipe around the start of act 3, near the kitchen of the Temple of the Open Hand in Rivington:

[Screenshot of recipe as it appears in-game. Exact steps will be transcribed below, within the recipe.]

It looked... honestly very simple and not dissimilar from a Hungarian potato főzelék/stew (which is a very cheap and homely peasant dish I love), so I just made it for lunch today, and guys....

this soup is uh. really fucking good. I tried following it as close to the letter as possible, but since it's quite vague, I did have to improvise a fair bit- but it's very cheap and easy to make, it's warm and comforting while still quite light (there are like. NO spices in there, it's a very European-feeling dish), and I'd say it's surprisingly filling, but it's. It's potatoes, so there's nothing exactly surprising about that.

I tried to write out the recipe in a very beginner-friendly way, so even if you're not super confident in the kitchen, it should be easy to follow! ❤️

Make yourself some video game soup, it's awesome.

INGREDIENTS:

(For about 6 servings)

A roughly egg-sized lump of lard (This can be subtituted with a different cooking fat if you'd like, but I recommend sticking with lard, as it adds a nice flavor, and it's kind of the staple fat for these peasant stews.)

Potatoes (I used just under two pounds)

Half of a medium leek

Small yellow onion (or half of a larger one)

2 cloves garlic

Roughly 1/2 to 1 cup white cooking wine (optional, substitute given in recipe)

Vegetable stock (or chicken- or beef stock, or water)

2-3 tbsp all purpose flour

Salt to taste

1/2 cup of sour cream/créme fraiche (optional)

Shredded cheese and/or croutons to serve (optional)

(Recipe with transcriptions and exact steps under the cut!)

(This is basically all there is in this. Honestly.)

STEPS:

"1. Put your lard in a pot- a chunky one, mind. When it stops being lard and starts being hot lard, add any good-smelling veggies (leeks, garlics, onions) that you've chopped all thin. Please salt this so it doesn't taste of nothing."

This first step is pretty self-explanatory. I sliced the white part of he leek thinly, cubed my onion, and minced my two large cloves of garlic. In the lard melted in as chunky a pot as I've got (make sure it's not non-stick!!!), I sauteed first the leek and the onion with a big pinch of salt, and once the onion was translucent, the leek soft, and they've released some liquid (around 3-5 minutes on medium-low heat), I added the garlic, and cooked it until fragrant.

"2. When it's soft and good-smelling, chuck in any flour you've got and stir the mixture so it don't burn (note for me - it's very important not to burn it, emphasize)"

"2.5. PLEASE DO NOT LET IT BURN THAT'D BE RUBBISH"

Now we make a roux by adding just enough flour to the mixture that it starts sticking together, and looks fairly dry, but no part of the flour remains powdery. (This was about 3 tbsp for me, but since this process goes quick, I did eyeball it).

It's important to keep stirring, as this can and does stick to the bottom of a pot, but it will determine the thickness of the final soup, deepen its flavor, and give it a nice, creamy consistency. I made mine fairly blonde (light tan in color, cooked just past long enough to dissipate any raw flour smell), but it can go to a fairly dark, caramel color before burning if you'd like the flavor to be a bit deeper. (This should only take a couple minutes.)

Please do be careful- it the roux burns, that flavor will be impossible to get rid of, so.... yeah, it would be rubbish.

"3. If you're fancy and have wine (or have a generously stocked temple wine cellar nearby) add a bit of it now and cook it off. When it's done, add some wedged potatoes and a lot more liquid (not wine this time or you'll have a headache in the morning)."

We now deglaze the bottom of the pot with the wine: after pouring it in, with the wooden spoon, we scrape up any stuck pieces of flour or aromatics that there might be on the bottom.

(Note: If you don't have wine, or would prefer not to use alcohol for any reason, a neat trick is to mix about 1 tbsp of white wine vinegar and 1 tsp of granulted sugar into a cup of water, and use this mixture as a substitute for 1 cup of white wine. In most recipes, the wine's main purpose is to add acidity as well as sweetness to the dish- this trick aims to replicate those qualities, and tastes very similar in the end result. I use it often in almost anything that calls for white wine if I happen to not have any at hand. But do make sure to taste beforehand, it's very easy to go too heavy on the vinegar! It should taste sour, but not so much that it's unpalatable.)

Then, I rinsed my cubed potatoes (though the text calls for wedges, those often don't cook quite evenly!) with water to get rid of the excess starch, added them to the pot, and then covered them in vegetable stock. You can use chicken- or beef stock (which would make the soup a bit richer, heavier) or water (if you want it lighter) as well- in this last case you might need to add more salt than you'd think. (Make sure to taste- it should be flavorful, but not salty! Bouillon cubes and premade stocks often have a very high salt content, so if using that, you might find you don't need to add any.)

(It sohuld look something like this.)

"4. Cook for half an hour or so til the potatoes are nice and tender, and mash some of 'em up in the liquid. If you've got any cow products - cheese, milk and the like - add them now for extra delicious results."

From when the mixture starts to boil, it should take about 25-35 minutes of simmering on low heat, covered, for the potatoes to soften- you can test doneness by sticking a fork in one of the pieces, or gently pushing one against the edge of the pot with your wooden spoon. It should give easily at light pressure with both methods.

I then put the sour cream/créme fraiche in a heat-safe container (a mug will do perfectly), and ladled a bit of the hot cooking liquid on top of it, mixing it thoroughly- both to thin it out, and bring the temperatures closer to each other, which should help avoid any curdling. Stirring constantly, I then add the cream mixture to the soup in a thin, slow stream. (Any mildly acidic, creamy dairy product should work here- though I do think yogurt might be a bit too sour, if using that I would probably omit the wine.)

Then, as everything is done cooking and the cream is distributed evenly with no curds, I turn the heat off for safety, and using a very traditional, very fantasy, not at all anachronistic immersion blender, I blitz the entire thing for roughly 30 seconds. You can of course blend it less for more chunks (or remove some cooked potato bits before blending to add them back later), or even longer for a smoother consistency, but I did like that about that much blending left only a few, small chunks of nicely cooked potato in the otherwise smooth and creamy result.

I served with shredded Port Salut cheese and croutons on top- but this is of course optional, and I think just some nice, crusty bread would also work wonderfully!

Go make yourself a video game soup!!!!!!! It's so easy and good!!!!!!!