#chocolate do zero
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Curso online com certificado! Receitas com chocolate saudáveis e veganas
Neste tutorial você irá aprender receitas com chocolates saudáveis e veganas para incrementar em uma alimentação restrita de leite e ovos. São 13 vídeos com receitas doces que se assemelham às de chocolates “comuns”, e que além de veganas são funcionais. Faça sua inscrição:
#chocolate amargo#chocolate amargo como fazer#chocolate amargo feito em casa#chocolate artesanal#chocolate caseiro#chocolate caseiro fácil#chocolate do zero#chocolate fácil#chocolate feito em casa#chocolate meio amargo#chocolate saudável#chocolate sme culpa#cjmd%#especial páscoa#fazer chocolate#fazer ovo de páscoa artesanal#ovo de pascoa#ovo de páscoa caseiro#ovo de páscoa fit#ovo de páscoa saudável#ovo de páscoa sme lactose#ovo de páscoa vegano
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I just think it’s neat that Aloy’s face has so much evidence of her being in sunnier places in FBW. Like, that little sunburn across her nose bridge and cheeks? The way her eyes would kinda change colors depending on the light and sometimes it’s kind of like molten gold or the prettiest shade of green?? The way her hair is more sun-bleached and lighter red/orange than ever?
And like it’s all the small things that point to her life style in contrast to Beta, who’s hair is a darker shade of red and she’s paler than Aloy. They do have a baseline flush, though. It’s lovely. They’re lovely. Like the way they’re so different but eventually learn how to see beyond the “she’s a better Elisabet because she has this [trait they attribute to Lis]” idea that they both have is so heart warming.
Sisters. Adorable.
#horizon zero dawn#aloy#beta horizon#aloy despite the nora#elisabet sobeck#horizon forbidden west#Beta and Aloy#they’re learning to be family!#they’re learning to be sisters!#they’re doing their best#aloy horizon#Beta and Aloy are babie#I want to wrap them in blankets and give them hot chocolate
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nah nothing pisses me off like being in one of the 3 or 4 driving test swap facebook groups that im in (which is doing fuck all for me btw, nobody's swapping tests in my area apparently. if you're not in london you're fuck out of luck for finding someone to swap with) and someone is like "hello does anyone have a test for [TOWN] in [Feb/March]" and there are multiple chuckleheads in the comments who are like "Go on the DVSA website at 6am on a Monday :) " like oh thanks genius im sure they never fucking thought of that one. did you miss the part where they said they need a test now and not in... *checks notes* july
#people who arent actively trying to book a test do not seem to be able to get their head around the situation at all#y'all have watched me struggle for months to even get a slot at all#now granted the government is doing SOMETHING because there are currently 80ish slots available at my test centre#compared to the ZERO that popped up every time i checked between august and november (and i checked multiple times a week#and YES I CHECKED ON FUCKING MONDAY AT 6AM. I SET ALARMS SPECIFICALLY)#the monday 6am thing is also a joke. have you ever been in a ticketmaster queue?#because that's literally how the driving test booking system works now.#anyways saying “dvsa site at 6am” to someone who wants a test within the next two months is about as much use as a chocolate teapot#i literally refreshed the website every 15-20 mins a day for a full 8h workday hoping a cancellation would pop up#and i saw... one. that i wasnt able to go for bc my instructor is on holiday that week#so yes there are now actually a good number of slots available for tests. however. they're also all FIVE FUCKING MONTHS AWAY
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when your job cuts everyone’s hours a week before the holidays and it’s so busy that now every department is completely fucked but u see all the salary workers skipping around bc they haven’t been affected at all and just……
if i’m quiet or seem like i’m neglecting you or ghosting you i’m so sorry i promise i’m not i’m just so frustrated and tired and only have so many spoons
#ooc.#we need to fkn unionize (for so many reasons)#but today is how my jokerification truly begins#this sucks so hard#happy holidays here’s a hot chocolate bar btw all your hours are cut#so have fun not working and making less money but when you do work you’re gonna be in the weeds bc you have zero support
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hysteria is hugh dancy’s worst movie
#if anyone even cares lol#hugh dancy#boring movie despite the raunchy premise#literally had zero chemistry with maggie gyllenhaal#he didn’t do such a good job acting because it felt like he didn’t take the dialogue seriously#it felt like just a paycheck#yeah it had a bigger budget than most of#his other stuff#but at least blood and chocolate and tempo#had fantastic acting
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Gonna eat some dark chocolate that was in the freezer (best way to eat chocolate in my opinion) on my unintentional mostly black color scheme themed bed, a highlight to this night honestly 😎
Oooo wait- the half of the leftover Mac and cheese from yesterday with some garlic powder and chili powder was also a highlight
Oki 2 or so highlights to my night!! Gonna eat some dark chocolate now :3
#and feel guilty as fuck about a thing I have NOT been doing throughout the week cuz I have zero energy ti do it but I really need to and I#REALLY got to cuz now my period started and just fuckin- JADKSJHDFOAHSHHAAGSGHASHSHDHSHAAJSJFJAKSKFJFJDJF#BUT POSITIVES!!! IT'S FRIDAY TOMORROW HAHA JUST ONE MORE DAY OF SCHOOL THIS WEEK AND I'LL MOST DEFINITELY WILL BE HAVING HOMEWORK OF WHAT#I DIDN'T DO IN SCHOOL TODAY THAT WAS ASSIGNED CUZ I WASN'T THERE AND THERE ARE NO FUCKIN DIRECTIONS OR ANYTHING CLEARLY STATED ON WHAT THE#FUCK HALF OR MORE OF WHAT I'M ASSIGNED WAS BASED FROM SO I CAN ANSWER IT- okay I WILL be taking pictures of someone's finished assignment or#whatever fir US History so I can actually fuckin do one of those assignments#OKAY CHOCOLATE BYE#venting me#I'll hopefully be fine tomorrow with those assignments!!!!!!!!!! 😀
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I have been on semi-haitus bc I recently got diagnosed with hypertension (at 24!!!! what da fuck!) so I've been trying to reduce some stress in my life while also trying to like figure out what I need to change diet/lifestyle wise and get all the testing done that I need to get done and figure out medication w my Dr. it's been kind of a lot
#im still SO stressed but that is because i suffer from shit life syndrome and there is little i can do about that#like im in pain all the time and also autistic and also my cat is terminally ill#and also i cant work because of the disabilities so im still living at home with my parents and idk what im going to do with my life#also living with my parents is a special kind of hell no offense to them but 🙃#so the STRESS#i just realised that i was stressing a little about updating CTTD and i am NAUGHT going to worsen my health over fanfiction#so ive gone on an impromptu tumblr/ao3 haitus#idk when im going to be BACK back#but im still on here reblogging shit sometimes#just not rly making nendo headcanons or screaming in tags#i dont have the energy im SO stressed hahahahaha fuck#i have to get tested for diabetes???#so my stepdad has been on my case about how much sugar i eat bc i always crave sugar#ive been trying to cut down like ive got zero sugar syrups for my (decaf!!!) coffees#and im trying to eat less chocolate#idk its hard man. my life already sucks and now my mundane little joys are slowly being cut out one by one#idk#anyways thats my life update!#saiki k fandom i love u all and i may not be active or in any of u guys notifs gushing about fan art or neno rn#but KNOW that i am still just as feral about it i am just half dead and so tired i am so sorry <3#dogbunni diary log
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Unsolicited Giant Eagle tip - their store-brand blueberry iced tea is the best thing in the world (in the glass bottles in the regular drink isle).
i HAVE heard that the mint green tea one (unsweetened) is also very good, but to be honest all i ever get in giant eagle are airheads minis, coffee filters, and then i go stare at their gluten free aisle where everything is $6.99 because that’s all i can do in that aisle. i do like blueberry tea i got a really good berry one last summer here but i don’t like them sweet unless it’s literally honey so🥺
#giant eagle DOES wish me harm though#🙄the no self checkout unless u have a card is dumb at home you can do it wherever (as for the downsides shoplifting is good actually)#i was excited by it initially but now i like target and i like aldi and i like getting thai food or sushi#actually i get oatmeal in wholefoods too that’s so good like unfortunately the jeff bezos shop has lots of gluten boy stuff#at home aldi is king though i Love Her#but heres there’s zero good yoghurts so sorry but the milk sucks it really does i can taste the difference#also there’s no good chocolate yoghurt/pudding here#the pudding has a texture like someone spat in it#anon#ty for the recommendation though bdbdbdbdd#oh!!! everyone try the ghost drink the ornage juice not the energy drink its sooo good
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hate it when dudes r like “let me put u on” and then they give u the same information you would’ve gotten if u went to the store and looked at what was on the shelf.
#you wasted ur energy telling me this this is worse than net zero information#it’s like if u said let me put u on the best chocolate bar in the world. it’s so good on s’mores it’ll really change the game for u#and the chocolate is just. your regular bog standard hersheys bar#WHICH THEY ALREADY HAVE IN THE FUCKING SMORES ENDCAP AT THE STORE LIKE ITS ALL RIGHT THERE#if u think this post is about u it probably is do some self reflection#lexi hush
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#FUCK dude I do so much for the people I care about and somehow - despite what I've put into the world - zero (0) people showed up today#I. I don't know man!!#I did buy myself roses and chocolate about it#I showed up#I was brave as hell during my MRI
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There was a news story about synthetic “butter” chemically produced made of CO2 and water , and people on reddit were joking about getting carbon credits for there bellys and how this was the most american way to tackle the climate crisis, by storing it in our bellies
It was a little horny in an awkward way, not in the sense I was super actively horny for it but in the sense that it felt like convoluted silly porn logic, where the practical thing /just so happens/to be the fun sexy thing.
Anyway I will keep hypotheticall this thought in my mind,
#to be clear I doubt it actually is carbon negative#extracting CO2 from air is energy intensive#before you do chemical reactions#its just a more ecofriendly alternative to animal products#coconut/palm/hydrogenatedveggieoils/chocolate#hope they make a unsaturated lipid too#zero acres is impressive but not as impressive as fully synthetic oil would be
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question actually.. do you drink coffee and if so what kind of coffee do you like. if naur what beverages do you prefer
I'm just like this unaided by any form of stimulants
#Milk.#/hj. But I cannot stand coffee or tea without ludicrous amounts of milk and/or sugar being added#Strawberry and peach bubble teas and caramel frappuccinos you are dear friends to me but I cannot in good faith call you coffee or tea#I am a Sprite lover first and foremost#With caffeinated soda I think I'm spiritually what Pepsi tastes like but I prefer Coke Zero. Raspberry Coke is the best with a Freestyle#I do actually love the flavor of Mt. dew but I only drink it when I'm staying up well past when my REM cycle would kick in to work on smth#strawberry lemonade > pink lemonade#strawberry AND blueberry is where it's at though#In general I can't do hot liquids#So chocolate milk and cold cider it is
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2021 caratland is so special … so effing good
#like i have been giggling so much especially the skit 😭😭😭 why is dino so good at playing a boomer#and when dino got all sulky during the bittersweet section ohhhh you are my baby <3#the way woozi stepped in for damage control i just adore him to pieces 😭😭😭 they all look so good too eeeee#i also have literally zero recollection of ever hearing abt perf unit doing chocolate ???? like wtf were carats silent about it or is it#just my poor memory as usual#ITS LILILI YABBAY HHU TIME EVERYBODY STFU#i am 100000% a hhu doing vocal unit song supremacist but good lord lilili yabbay is just so mmmmmm#seungcheol…… oh jesus#also woozi is so extra bouncy today what’s going on… he’s so fucking cute i can’t take this#during heavens cloud he was just bouncing and vibing i need to rip my heart out#FORGOT ABOUT THE GIANT CHICKEN SUIT … how was this so long ago already 😭😭😭😭😭
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Yandere Boyfriend x you
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Rated 18 + — mature short content !
Includes: He cries, begging, use him!, gender neutral reader, he slips you some viagra, he becomes your maid—trying to get on your good graces, tie him up and blindfold him, doggystyle, he eats you out.
*Incase yall were wondering.. this is lol what I imagine yandere classmate/boyfriend looks like in his little uniform. This is the third post! And check out the first and second when you can! He is referred to as “your boyfriend” and this is purely fictional writing!*
Synopsis: He comes clean about his yandere tendencies, and how he lied about pretty much everything. Your boyfriend will do anything for you to take him back again.
He always dreaded this moment. The moment when he had to tell you the truth, and he hoped you wouldn’t look at him any differently.
He told you about how much of a sexual deviant he is, and how he never got accepted into the university, and how he got you to live with him.
You kicked out your boyfriend when he came clean. You wanted space from him, but he took it as a break up and he started to panic as a jerk reaction. He came by to your door everyday, and you only gave him five minutes to explain himself, and then you shut the door in his face. And like clockwork, he came again. Over time, you were slowly getting the full picture.
He liked you since highschool, followed you around, sniffed your locker when he missed you, befriended your siblings to see your room, and he often jerked himself off when he thought about you.
He showed up with flowers, chocolates, chips, your favorite food from the nicest restaurants, and even stuffed animals that could sing. He then slid letters underneath your door, and then he slid pictures of him incase you werent understanding how much he needed you. He would send his nudes through the phone, but you blocked him.
He did not get what a break meant. He hated that you wanted zero contact, and that you did not want to meet with him until you were ready to talk again. So, one last time he approached your door again. He knocked on the door, you peeked through the peephole, and saw he wasn’t holding anything this time. He was just wearing a dark hoodie, sweats, and his airpods shoved into his ears.
You opened the door just enough to get a good look at him. He…looked embarrassed? His face pink and he nervously fiddled with his hair.
“Can I come in..?” Your boyfriend asked. You slowly let him inside and your eyes widens as he pulled off his clothes. “Just hear me out-“
When he got his joggers pulled off, he revealed a little maid outfit. He wore this black and white skirt or dress, some white sheer tights, and had some bows in his hair.
“I’ll become your maid! I’ll clean, cook, and… sleep with you heh, if t-that’s just what you want!” He stuttered in the end to cover up the fact that he’s been so pent up. He didn’t want you to think that he’s still a sexual deviant (you so nicely called him).
So, over the next couple of weeks he would come over and clean your apartment. He would whistle some sweet tunes, vacuum the place, and he would occasionally flash a bit more leg at you. You found it humorous that he was trying to seduce you. The skirt of his dress would accidentally would be a bit too high up, and you caught sight of his erection. And he would try to be too helpful. If you were stressed out, he told you that you could hop on his cock.
He was becoming desperate for attention, and paranoid that you would find someone else during this “break.” He came around more often to clean your house, and he would sneak into your bedroom to snoop in your drawers. When you two were still dating, you had some scandalous intimates, and he audibly sighed when he saw none of those.
So, you weren’t seeing anyone new. He smiled as he chopped up some carrots for the stew he was cooking, he wanted to feed you well and make you happy. He snuck some viagra into your drink, and he handed it to you.
If you were being honest… you didn’t think that your boyfriend was capable of all of those things he was confessing to. You weren’t going to say that he’s dumb… but he definitely tended to act like he needed your attention and help 24/7. So, it was a surprise to hear that he was actually a massive pervert and manipulator. You continue to sit there with an impassive look on your face, your arms crossed, and you watch as he cried and sobbed. The viagra hasn’t kicked in yet, and he was cursing at himself for not giving you more. He tried to plead his case and get you to change your mind about him.
“I didn’t mean too!” He wailed. “It just happened so suddenly! I-It was like my feelings for you appeared overnight!” That was technically half true.
You did wish on a shooting star for a boyfriend, and the universe provided. But it turned into an unhealthy obsession, it turned an innocent man to start stalking you, and craving to be yours.
He could not stop, the tears in his eyes kept coming and he was on his knees. He knew any sane person would leave him in a heartbeat, they would dump his ass, and maybe even get a restraining order on him.
“You’re just so amazing! I fell in love with you immediately. It was like an instant connection..!” He pouted, and he crawled over to you. “Are you going to leave me?”
You heavily debated on it. He’s insane, that was pretty clear, and you also took a note that you should probably clean your sheets… and lock your room just in case. Your head still tried to wrap around the fact that he bought a plane ticket, and up-rooted his whole life…for you.
You sighed, “I might-“
“Don’t.” He quickly said, his eyes darkening and they narrow at you briefly. All before he nervously chuckles when you didn’t like his tone, and he reached for you, “W-What I meant was—“
“You can’t tell me what to do.” You scoffed and you took a step back. His hand falling down after you rejected his touch.
His lip started to quiver, and he bends down to kiss at your feet. “What can I do, my love?”
“You know I’ll do anything.”
You don’t know why, but you started to feel your body heat up. His lips looked so kissable and soft, his cheeks pink and tear-stained. You eventually gave in. You didn’t want him to have the satisfaction of seeing your body, so you unravel the ribbons in his hair, and cover his eyes. You used the other ribbons to tie his hands back.
He had to rely on his other senses to understand what you were doing. All he hears is a rustle of your clothes falling down to the floor, and you got him to lay on his back. You instructed him to open his mouth and he does so, his tongue sticking out in anticipation. He felt a presence nearby and he immediately tried to lick at it. His tongue feeling something warm and slick. He lifted his head up and buried himself into it, his tongue slipping inside to your core, and he probed for your g-spot. He pushed himself deeper, his neck straining to force his tongue deeper.
He wanted to use his hands to spread your legs further for him. He wanted to rip the blindfold off so he could see what he was doing, and make you feel better. He felt you pull away, and he latched his lips onto your heat to convince you to stay on his face. Your boyfriend huffed when his head fell back onto the floor, he licked his lips, and he felt you pull his boxers down. His cock sprung out— so eager for you to do whatever to it. A little dribble of cum spills out of his tip, and trailing down his shaft.
“fuhhhhck!” He let out a deep groan, your hand moving up and down his length as you put the condom on him. He wiggled his hips, imaging that it would be buried deep inside you. He could get off at the thought of you riding him.
You straddled his hips, his tip poking at your heat before you finally sank down on him. He bit his lip, his brows furrowed as you bounced up and down.
He still didn’t get to have sight privileges as you change positions. There was a ring of cum around his dick, and he began to harden again at your admiration. You praised him for doing so well, and you got onto all fours. He reached out for your hips, using his hands to guide himself behind you. He gently spreads your cheeks apart, and he glides right into you again.
He’s never heard of stopping at one time.
Once just wasn’t enough.
You let your boyfriend have a taste of you after months of shunning him. You had let him come to your graduation, but he had to stand from the distance, and he held a sign saying he “loves you.”
You were finally done with college and you were taking a right step in the direction, finding your own peace, and growing as a person.
But you just had to let him in.
Your boyfriend let out one final devastatingly brutal thrust—a sadistic smile tugging at his lips—and he knew he won you over when he heard you scream out his name.
Allure: Anywaaaaay! Idk if this will be the final, there might be another one where reader and him are engaged?? IDK don’t quote me.
#Allurilove yandere writing#Allurilove— YANDERE BOYFRIEND X YOU PART THREE#yandere classmate x you#yandere boyfriend x you#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x y/n#male yandere#yandere oc#yandere drabble#yandere writing#yandere male#yandere imagines#yandere smut#obsessive love#smut writing#desperate men#desperate yandere#he wears a maid outfit
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LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - SEVEN
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pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of pregnancy, abortion, alcohol, drug consumption.
MASTERLIST
You never spent much time on The Cut, unless you were being dragged by duty, mostly charity events for the local populations, fundraisers for their schools usually.
You always showed up in something tasteful but subtly expensive—pearls, understated Louboutin heels, and a blazer that whispered wealth without screaming it.
Your mother taught you that.
Now, you sat in Poguelandia, doing god knows what.
The name alone sounded like some bad beach-themed party game. But you kept the snark to yourself—mostly. Sarah swore to you this was her new "thing," her big redemption arc, and who were you to judge? It wasn’t where you pictured spending any afternoon, yet there you were.
Pregnant. On The Cut. Drinking—well, holding—a very flat ginger ale out of a plastic cup.
You smoothed your dress for the hundredth time, light linen in a neutral tone that looked effortless but cost more than most people’s rent, while pretending not to notice Pope and Cleo staring like you were a rare bird that had wandered into the wrong habitat.
Were they always this... intense? Did people on this side of the island not know how to look away when someone made eye contact? Your mother’s voice echoed in your head. They’re not staring at you, dear; they’re staring at themselves in relation to you.
Whatever that meant.
To their credit, they weren’t mean about it. Just... curious, as if you’d wandered in from a wildlife documentary called Kooks in the Wild.
You moved your weight around in your seat, hyper-aware of every grain of sand sticking to your hérmes sandals. Every time you shifted, you felt the grains grinding between the straps and your skin.
Should’ve worn the espadrilles, you thought ruefully, but even then, this wasn’t the world’s most glamorous venue. Sarah had begged you to stop by, though, and you owed her. It was also good for you to leave the house instead of being cupped up inside all alone.
“Okay, seriously, what’s with the staring? Do I have something on my face? Is my makeup smudged? Be honest.”
Cleo snorted. “No, you’re fine, princess. We’re just surprised to see you.”
You were still holding your sad little plastic cup. “Just thought I’d participate in—whatever this is.” You gestured vaguely at the mismatched chairs and string lights that looked like they’d been stolen from someone’s backyard wedding. “Community service?”
It was supposed to come off as witty. You weren’t sure it did.
Pope choked on his drink—sweet tea? soda?—and Cleo chuckled outright. “You’re funny,” she said, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if she meant it.
“Thanks?” It came out like a question, and you wanted to die just a little bit inside.
Pope grinned, leaning forward with a chip in his hand. “You don’t seem like the kind of person who hangs out in The Cut, that’s all.”
You blinked, feigning shock. “You don’t think I spend my weekends in—what is this, a glorified surf shack? I’m crushed.”
Cleo laughed again, which��fine—made you feel a little better.
“Nah, it’s just... you’re different up close. Not like, scary kook different. Just human. Y’know?”
“Great. That’s exactly what I was going for today.”
Pope gestured to the bar. “You want a snack? Chips? Cookies? We have...three options.”
You straightened, eyes narrowing like a hawk zeroing in on prey.
Food. Your stomach growled loudly, as if it had been cued by a stage director. “What kind of cookies?”
He blinked, not expecting you to care. “Uh... chocolate chip? Maybe oatmeal raisin?”
“And the chips?” You pressed, leaning forward now.
“Salt and vinegar,” Cleo piped up, eyeing you curiously. “Barbecue too, I think. Why?”
“Okay, shit, great.” You clapped your hands together decisively. “I’ll have all of it. All the chips, both kinds of cookies. Do you have anything else? Pretzels? Popcorn? Random condiments? I’m not picky.”
Cleo stared at you, her mouth slightly open. “Everything?”
“Yes, everything. Is that a problem?”
She blinked, her eyes darting to Pope like he had an explanation. He shrugged helplessly.
“Woman” she muttered under her breath. “Did you not eat for a week, or...?”
The salt and vinegar chips were divine, borderline transcendent, as you shoved another handful into your mouth. The truth was, you weren’t just hungry—you were still terrified. Every bite, every easy conversation with other people that weren’t Sarah, was a game of jenga to you. One wrong move, one offhand comment, and your secret could be out in the open.
Six more days until this would all be... over. Until the secret growing inside you—the one you’d barely admitted to yourself most mornings—would be gone.
The past three days had been the best you’d felt in ages, cravings and all, thanks to Sarah. She’d slept over, stayed up late talking with you, making you laugh, distracting you from the endless pit what-ifs and why-mes.
It was the longest you’d gone without crying in three months. The longest you’d lived without feeling like you could suffocate at any given moment. With her help, it had been easier to forget—to pretend that things were still okay.
But Sarah wasn’t there, she’d left earlier with John B, something about helping him with a tour.
“You good, princess?” Cleo’s voice cut through your thoughts.
You blinked at her, realizing you’d been crushing the chip bag in your hands like a stress ball. “What? Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look like you’re about to fight that bag of chips,” Pope said, grinning.
You forced a laugh, leaning back and tossing the bag onto the table. “No fighting. Just... intense snacking."
You reached for the chocolate chip cookies he had offered earlier, focusing on the sweetness, the comfort of food that tasted good for once. Sweet, crumbly, safe. If only the rest of you life felt like that.
Pope and Cleo knew something was up, they all did, probably.
Sarah had been glued to your side, and it wasn’t exactly subtle.
Her sudden move to “stay over” at your place had obviously raised eyebrows, especially since you two hadn’t had a proper conversation in months before all this. And there was the beach clean-up, Kie and JJ had been there when you felt ill, and while you’d been too disoriented to keep up with the cover story once Rafe drove you away, Sarah had stepped in later to handle it.
Heat exhaustion. Overworked. Totally fine.
Still, to your relief, neither Pope nor Cleo seemed inclined to pry, perhaps it was pity, or maybe they were just decent enough to let you keep the little shred of privacy you had left. Either way, you were grateful.
“So,” Pope said, leaning back on his elbows and flashing you an easy grin, “How are you finding our place? I mean, other than our fine selection of snacks.”
You swallowed a bite of cookie, forcing a smile. “It’s...charming. Rustic. A real je ne sais quoi vibe.” You waved your hand vaguely, trying to mimic the way your mother used to describe terrible restaurants we’d never go back to.
Cleo snorted. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”
“It’s cute,” You offered, looking around, “I can tell you guys put your heart into it.”
Pope smirked, lifting a brow. "That's nice of you to say."
You gave a small shrug, feigning nonchalance, but you meant it.
For all the mismatched chairs and questionable decoration, there was something undeniably warm about the place. You weren't used to that—spaces filled with love instead of decorators and florists, it wasn’t bad. Just different.
“I mean it,” you said, brushing crumbs from your lap. “It’s very authentic. ‘Pogue Chic’ or something.”
Cleo laughed, loud and genuine, her grin lighting up her face. “Pogue Chic?"
Pope chimed in, “Hey, don’t knock it. We’re trendsetters. Ahead of its time.”
You smiled, but your mind was already falling back to the sand clinging to your dress and the ginger ale that tasted like disappointment. You’d never say it out loud, but you admired them, that ability to make joy out of scraps. It was something you didn’t quite know how to do. Not yet, anyway.
Cleo leaned forward, her elbows resting on the makeshift table. “So, are we going to see you around more? Or is this just a one-time royal visit?”
You hesitated, twirling the rim of your cup between your fingers. “I don’t know. Maybe. If Sarah keeps dragging me here, I guess I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice.”
You didn't know if it was the way he said it, the tone he used, or just your hormones fucking you up, but suddenly there were tears in your eye sockets. You blinked rapidly, tilting your head back slightly and praying that the tears stayed put.
These kids, all of them, sitting here like they hadn’t spent their lives scraping by, like they hadn’t been hurt or abandoned or let down a hundred times over by people they loved and trusted. Yet somehow, they were still full of hope, full of life.
You envied that.
You wished you could bottle it, whatever it was that kept them laughing and fighting and welcoming someone like you—a result of privilege and mistakes and heartbreak—into their home. It was humbling in a way that made your chest hurt.
“Does that mean I can choose to order better snacks next time? Maybe some sparkling water? Flat ginger ale is a crime against humanity.”
Cleo snorted, still not fooled by your deflection, but she let it slide.
“Good luck with that, princess. Our snack budget’s about three bucks and whatever we can steal from Kie’s pantry.”
Pope chuckled, tossing a chip in his mouth. “And you’re welcome to contribute if you’re so concerned about the menu.”
It surprised you, how easy it was to talk to them.
On paper, you had nothing in common. They were younger, grew up in a completely different world, and you were used to the polished conversations of country club luncheons and charity galas.
Here, things were different.
They didn’t seem to care if you stumbled over your words, if your jokes were awkward or if you occasionally sounded like a walking trust fund catalog. They didn’t care about your last name, your family’s money, or any other things that had weighed you down for years.
That was disarming.
You’d spent your entire life around people who mirrored your upbringing—kids who summered in the Hamptons or Barbados, adults who measured their worth in stock portfolios and vacation homes. Now, you were here, in this cobbled-together haven with salt-stained cushions, sitting with people who’d grown up struggling for things you took for granted.
You thought it would feel more awkward or forced, but it didn’t.
It was easy.
Pope sat on the counter, gesturing with a half-eaten chip. “Serious question. How do you even survive on Figure Eight? Do they hand you iced lattes and designer handbags when you’re born, or do you have to work your way up to that?”
You raised a brow, smirking. “Oh, absolutely. The moment you’re born, they issue you a monogrammed diaper bag and a gold-plated pacifier. It’s very exclusive.”
Cleo nearly choked on her drink. “See, this is why we can’t take you seriously.”
Your phone buzzed on the table, lighting up with your cousins name, interrupting the fun. You sighed, rolling your eyes before picking it up. “Yes, Top?”
Topper’s slightly whiny tone spilled into your ear. “Can you believe Mom’s threatening to rent out the beach house for the summer? Actual strangers, staying there. What’s next? Turning it into a hostel?”
“Tragic,” you deadpanned, resting your chin in your hand. “Truly, a devastating blow for humanity.”
Pope fake-coughed, mumbling “white rich privilege problems,” while Cleo mouthed, “Hostel!” and shook her head, laughing silently.
“I know. Anyway, I’m coming over later.”
“Where’s your invitation?”
You heard him scoffing, “I’m family, I don’t need one.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache. “Top, you can’t just announce you’re coming over. I might have plans.”
“Yeah, and I’m your family, so those plans now include me,” Topper said, sounding entirely too pleased with himself. “Besides, I’ll bring food.”
Across from you, Pope was already gagging dramatically, holding his stomach as if the mere sound of Topper’s voice made him physically ill.
“I don’t know if—”
“See you at noon,” he interrupted. “Later!”
The call ended before you could even argue, and you set your phone down with a resigned sigh.
“Looks like I’m hosting a one-man Topper pity party,” you said, crossing your arms and slumping back in your chair.
Pope clutched his chest. “Will you survive?”
You only left once the sun dipped lower into the horizon, you gathered your things promising Sarah you’d drive safely and talk to her tomorrow.
Cleo, Pope and John B were mid-argument about the best way to fix something in the shack. You felt lighter than you had in weeks.
With a few more quips exchanged and goodbyes said, you walked back to your car. That night, the ache in your chest wasn’t completly unbearable. You weren’t okay, but you weren’t drowning, either.
You’d been terrified of this afternoon all day, worried you’d stick out like a sore thumb or say the wrong thing.
But the Pogues hadn’t cared about your awkwardness, your polished self, or even the giant invisible cloud you carried everywhere these days. They let you just be.
The drive home was quiet, but this time you even hummed along to a song on the radio, which was strange because you couldn’t remember the last time you cared about music or even turning on that thing. When you pulled into the driveway and stepped into your house, it didn’t feel as cold and empty as it did last week.
You set your bag down on the entryway table and kick off your sandals, the floors cool beneath your feet. Heading to the kitchen, you decided to see if there was anything decent for tonight’s impromptu early dinner with Topper. The fridge greeted you with a sad bag of lettuce, half a bottle of sparkling water, and a single container of leftover pasta you weren’t sure was still edible.
“Great,” you muttered, closing the door and moving to the pantry.
The situation there wasn’t much better. Sarah’s latest health-kick contributions—a bag of chia seeds and some organic trail mix—laughed at you from the top shelf. You frowned, pushing them aside to reveal a dusty box of crackers and a jar of Nutella.
“Guess we’re going shopping tomorrow,” you murmured, grabbing the crackers and Nutella to snack on now.
You placed them on the counter and glanced around. The sink held a few dishes from earlier —a couple of coffee mugs, a bowl, a plate.
You sighed, rolling up your sleeves, might as well get this out of the way.
Normally, you’d have had someone else to take care of this—stocking the pantry, cleaning the dishes, even deciding on the menu for your lunches. But lately, you’d been scaling back. You hadn’t let anyone go, of course. You could never do that; the staff had been with your family for years, and many of them felt more like extended family than employees. Still, you’d quietly rearranged their schedules, giving them more time off.
They didn’t question it—probably thought it was some new phase, another eccentricity of a bored, privileged young woman.
Truth was, you liked doing these things.
Focusing on something small, tangible, gave your brain a break from drilling itself into a million dark corners. Folding laundry, washing dishes, even the routine of chopping vegetables—it kept your hands busy and your thoughts manageable enough. It wasn’t that you’d suddenly become a domestic goddess or anything. Most of the time, you’d forget to pick up groceries or burn whatever you tried to cook.
It wasn’t about being good at it. It was about doing something.
You looked around the kitchen, noting the little imperfections you wouldn’t have noticed before. A small water stain on the counter from where your glass had sat too long, the scuff marks on the cabinets where your chair scraped when you leaned back. They weren’t problems to be fixed—they were just signs of life.
And right now at that very moment, life felt…okay.
The house didn’t seem as cold or empty when you were doing things for yourself, even if it was mundane work. You finish up wiping down the counters, glance at the time—definitely cutting it close—and head toward the dining room to tidy up a bit.
Topper was not the type to notice if the place is spotless, but you always liked things to look... presentable, yourself included.
You heard the doorbell ring in the distance, he was early as usual, probably checking his watch just to make sure he wasn't a second late.
"Of course he’s early," you muttered to yourself, a little smirk pulling at your lips.
You walked towards the front door, ready to greet him, but when you opened it, your eyes immediately locked onto the large takeout bag in his hand. It smelled... amazing.
Topper grinned at you, an exaggerated flourish as he held up the bag.
“Guess what I brought?”
“You brought... Korean chicken wings? Really?”
“Hell yeah, I did!” He stepped inside, completely ignoring any formalities and heading straight toward the kitchen, “They just opened.”
He placed the bag on the counter with the confidence of a man who knew he’s just won “Best Dinner Host” without even trying. You peeked inside, the crispy wings drenched in a glossy, sweet-spicy sauce that looked downright delicious.
Topper laughed and took a seat, pulling out the wings, not even bothering with plates. “You’re welcome.”
You rolled your eyes but sat next to him, picking up a wing, the heat of it still making your fingers tingle. The crispy exterior cracked open with a satisfying crunch as you bit into it. It was everything you'd hoped for—tangy, spicy, perfectly cooked. You nearly moaned in pleasure, not even caring that your cousin was watching you with that cocky grin on his face.
“You look like you’ve seen the light,” He teased, leaning back in his chair as he grabbed a wing of his own.
“I mean,” you said, savoring another bite, “this might make up for you barging in uninvited.”
“Barging?” He clutched his chest dramatically, mock offense radiating from every inch of him. “I'm saving you from a night of sad dinners, and this is the thanks I get?”
You gave him a pointed look, but the corner of your mouth tugged upward despite yourself.
“Fine. Thank you, Topper. You’re the hero of the day. Happy now?”
“Ecstatic,” he said, grinning as he reached for another wing. “What’s new? Still slumming it with my ex and the Pogues?”
“First of all,” you said, wiping your fingers on a napkin, “slumming it implies I’m suffering, which I’m not. And second, Sarah’s not a pogue. She’s pogue-adjacent.”
“Pogue-adjacent?” He snorted. “You’ve been spending too much time over there.”
“Like you’re one to talk,” you shot back. “You basically live at Kildare Brewing these days. That’s like, one pogue away from full assimilation.”
He opened his mouth to argue but then stopped, realizing you had a point. “Okay, fair. But only because they have good beer."
You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should even bring it up, but curiosity got the better of you. You hadn’t heard about her in a while, and you knew by experience, that was never a good thing.
“So... Ruthie,” you started, watching him over the rim of your glass as you took a sip.
Topper paused mid-chew, looking up at you like he wasn’t sure he wanted to have this conversation. “What about her?”
“I mean, you two are still together, aren’t you?”
He wiped his hands on a napkin. “We’re… not talking right now.”
You tried not to look pleased, but a rush of vindication bloomed in your chest. You'd grown to hate her, plain and simple. Her recent proximity to your cousin had always baffled you. He wasn’t perfect, but surely, he could do better.
“I’m surprised.”
“Yeah, well,” he muttered, reaching for another wing. But then he stopped, like whatever he was thinking was messing with his head.
“What happened?” You asked, trying to sound more curious, concerned, than nosy.
You weren’t sure if he’d tell you, but the look on his face made it clear something big had gone down.
He hesitated, debating whether to answer. Finally, he sighed. “She... started a rumor about you.”
Your head jerked back in surprise. “About me?”
“Yeah,” he grimaced like he’d swallowed something sour. “She said you passed out at the beach cleanup and decided to spread some bullshit about you doing drugs.”
You just stared at him. “She what?”
You weren’t sure why you were so surprised.
You knew what she was capable better than anyone, especially when she was bored out of her mind.
“I didn’t believe it,” he added quickly, his tone defensive, as if that made it better. “I told her to shut the fuck up about it, but you know how she is. She thought it was funny.”
“Funny?” Your voice was sharp now, “She thought it was funny to spread lies about me? About drugs? What the fuck?”
“Yeah, it’s so messed up. That’s why I’m not talking to her. I told her if she couldn’t act like a fucking decent human being, we were done.”
You blinked, stunned.
You weren’t sure what shocked you more—the fact that Ruthie had stooped so low or that Topper had finally stood up to her. You shook your head, biting back another nasty comment about how awful she was. You’d been saying it for months, and he hadn’t listened.
No point in beating a dead horse now.
“It’s about time you saw what she’s really like. She’s really bad fuckin’ news, Top. Always has been.”
He gave a low grunt, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the counter. “Yeah. Took me long enough, huh?”
You didn’t answer, just raised an eyebrow and sipped your water.
“She’s always been weird about Sarah,” Topper muttered, almost to himself. “Even when we were together, she’d find these ways to dig at her. Like that one time at Midsummers—”
“—When she ‘accidentally’ spilled her drink on Sarah’s dress,” you finished, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I remember. She’s always had this thing about trying to one-up her. Honestly, it’s so pathetic. But you never listen to me, so.”
“Okay, ouch.” He threw a crumpled napkin at you, which you easily dodged. “I listen to you sometimes.”
“Do you, though?” You gave him a pointed look.
“Yeah, I do!” Topper protested, though the whine in his voice made him sound more like the teenager he used to be, back when he’d follow you around during family holidays like a puppy. “Just… selectively.”
“Selective listening isn’t listening, dumbass. You’re just proving my point.”
He narrowed his eyes at you but didn’t answer, reaching for another wing instead. He took a bite, chewing dramatically, as if the exaggerated crunch would somehow end the conversation.
“Look, I’ve been saying for months that Ruthie’s bad news. Since she showed up at last year’s Christmas party wearing a dress identical to Sarah’s, just in a different color. You thought that was a coincidence?”
Topper groaned, dropping the wing. “Okay, fine, you’re right. Are you happy now? Can you stop rubbing it in?”
You grinned, propping your chin on your hand.
“Oh, I could. But what kind of older cousin would I be if I didn’t remind you how often you’re wrong?”
“You’re not that much older than me.”
You shrugged. “Old enough to know better than to date someone that awful.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a genius. I get it.” He looked over at you again, his gaze softer, this time, “But seriously, you’ve been off lately. If there’s something going on, you can tell me, y’know? We’re family, even if I don’t listen to you half the time,” he added with a small smile, though his eyes were searching, hoping you’d let him in.
It would be so easy to tell him the truth—that you were pregnant, scheduled for an abortion in six days, and drowning in uncertainty and dread.
But he was still Rafe’s best friend, and the risk of this ever reaching him was too high. Instead, you forced a lightness into your voice.
“Nothing I can’t handle. And right now, I desperately need the bathroom.”
He looked at you skeptically, not fooled for a second.
“You’re really okay?” he pressed, his voice dropping to a level that told you he wasn’t going to let this go easily, "I texted and called before, you didn't answer. Thought you were resting from the scare."
You’d been having such a calm, easy time with Sarah, you almost forgot about everything else. The thought of picking up the phone, letting all that anxiety and worry back in, just wasn’t appealing—so you’d ignored his calls, but not on purpose. You were doing him a favor.
You plastered on a smile and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as you passed. “I promise, I’m fine. Just felt a little light-headed and needed some peace."
His eyes narrowed slightly, unconvinced. “That’s all?”
You forced a giggle, hoping it would sound more genuine than it felt. “Yes, Dr. Thornton. Just needed to eat more or drink water or whatever the fuck it is you’re always telling me to do.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, crossing his arms, watching you closely. “Because you’ve never just fainted before.”
“I guess there’s a first time for everything. Besides, don’t you think I’d tell you if something serious was wrong?”
It took everything to maintain eye contact, your stomach twisting at the lie. He was family, and you wanted to trust him, to let him help you. But you couldn’t. He hadn’t even told you about Rafe and Sofia until you found out by yourself.
Topper tilted his head, considering you, then sighed and gave a reluctant nod. “Alright, fine.”
“Okay, if you’re done being weird,” You pushed back from the counter, grabbing your glass. “I gotta pee,” you announced casually, as if this was the most normal interjection in the world. The wings were good, but running away was tempting. And also, the pregnancy had made your bladder a ticking time bomb, and you really didn’t want to risk any accidents. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
You offered him one last smile, hoping it was convincing enough. He whined some sarcastic comment about your water consumption as you hurried away, but you barely heard him.
All you thought about was the blessed relief that awaited on the other side of that door.
You didn’t usually spend this much time with Top nowadays—your own tendency to avoid “close” family drama—but tonight had been oddly… nice.
Even if you wanted to wrap your hands around his neck half the time. Even if you hated lying to him. If he’d just pushed a little harder, maybe you would’ve folded, let it all spill right there in the kitchen.
Every time you thought you’d come to a decision, another doubt would take over you, leaving you back at square one. You knew what you wanted, so why was this so hard?
Topper had looked at you with such genuine concern back there. The “if you need me, I’m here” sentiment was the same one you’d grown up with, the kind of care only a cousin, practically a sibling, could have.
This was hard.
When you came back into the kitchen after taking your sweet time in the bathroom you immediately noticed something was off.
Topper was by the counter, staring at the half-eaten pile of wings by the table like they’d personally offended him. He looked paler, too—almost like he’d seen a ghost.
“Uh…” You stopped mid-step, furrowing your brow. “What’s with the stupid face? Did the wings betray you or something?”
He jolted slightly, as if he hadn’t even heard you come in. “What? No. No, the wings are fine. Great. Amazing, even.”
“Okay…” You gave him a skeptical look, setting your glass down and crossing your arms.
Topper laughed, but it was this oddly nervous, stilted sound. He glanced at his phone, tapping the screen for no real reason, then shoved it into his pocket.
“You know what, though? I totally forgot—I have something planned. Like, super important. In about… ten minutes.”
You stared at him, unimpressed. “You forgot you had plans? Sounds fake, but okay.”
“So unlike me!” He got up from his chair with such sudden energy that it made you take a step back. “Anyway, I should really get going. Don’t want to be late. Uh, thanks for… hanging out. And for, uh, letting me use your wings as a form of therapy. Yeah. Later!”
And with that, he was sprinting for the door.
“Topper!” you called after him, confused and mildly annoyed. “What the hell is going on? You’re acting fuckin’ weird!”
“Nope, not weird! Just busy!” he shot back over his shoulder, not even looking at you as he opened the door.
You didn’t have time to yell at him before he disappeared out the door, the sound of his Jeep starting up echoing from the driveway a moment later. You stood there bewildered, staring at the now-empty doorway.
Something was definitely up. He was many things—dramatic, stubborn, occasionally insufferable—but shifty wasn’t usually one of them.
You went back to the kitchen, glancing at the counter, ready to brush off his weird exit as just another of his dramatics, when your eyes landed on a random envelope— the one you’d been using to scribble down everything lately.
Extra small grocery lists, reminders, and, unfortunately, the number for the abortion clinic.
Rafe’s fingers curled loosely around the tumbler of bourbon, eyes set on nothing in particular. The lunch rush was winding down, country club regulars filing out.
He’d been there for over an hour—first, the meeting, listening to those finance guys ramble on about numbers, projections, all that bullshit he usually liked to hear.
He’d faked his interest well enough, but his mind had been miles away. Mostly thinking about you. And the company, of course, because that was his priority right now. Or, it should be.
The whole thing with you, three days ago, it was a slow-mind-burning headache he couldn’t ignore, even if he wanted to. And he had wanted to, tried to, in fact.
He took another slow sip, hardly tasting the bourbon. Across the room, Sofia was working between tables, balancing trays and forcing her best country club smile.
All he saw when he looked at her was you, it only made him force down another swallow, running his thumb over the rim of the glass, mind somewhere between the company projections and the mess he’d made of things with you.
It was ridiculous that you were still in his head. He should be thinking about that deal, about locking down his place in the Cameron empire.
Rafe pushed the glass aside, signaling for the check when something caught his ear—a conversation from a nearby table.
“Yeah, she actually passed out the other day. Pathetic.” The voice was loud, sneering.
A dude’s voice followed, fake sympathy dripping from his tone. “I heard she was a fuckin’ mess after the whole breakup.”
“Oh, totally.” A different girl laughed, high-pitched and cruel. “She’s probably on something. Can you blame her? I’d be desperate too if he dumped me.”
It didn’t take a fucking genius to know who they were talking about. Small town and all, of course, things got around, mostly turning into half-truths and petty rumors.
He stopped all his movements, jaw clenching. His fingers tightened around the edge of the table, the only thing keeping him from breaking something, preferably bones.
They were talking about you.
About some made-up version of you, the fact that these spoiled, airheaded brats thought they could shit talk about you like that, rip you apart for fun just because you weren’t there to defend yourself made him sick.
He pushed his chair back and stood, crossing the room with long strides. He didn’t care about the eyes following him as he walked up to their table, the laughter stopping the moment they looked up and saw the look on his face.
“What did you just say?”
The girl who’d been laughing, a petite brunette with too much makeup and a self-satisfied smirk, blinked up at him, her smile faltering.
“Oh, Rafe! We didn’t see you there. We were just…joking around,” she stammered, trying to backpedal.
“Joking?” He laughed, the sound making them flinch. “That what you call it? Spreading some bullshit rumor because it’s all your pathetic little lives have to offer?”
The brunette’s face went red. “I mean, we all heard about it. I’m just saying what everyone’s already thinking—”
His fists clenched and his patience, already thin, snapped the second he heard the guy—one of those trust fund preps with an overdone tan and a too-tight polo—chime in.
“Oh, come on, dude,” the guy smirked, leaning back in his chair, feigning nonchalance. “It’s not like she’s worth all that trouble, is she?”
His entire body went rigid, and before he registered it, he was leaning down, letting them feel the weight of his glare.
“Say that shit again,” Rafe taunted him, something almost amused twisting at the edge of his mouth, daring him to keep talking. “I’d love to hear you repeat yourself.”
“Relax, man—”
He didn’t even let him finish, eyes narrowed, his voice dropping to a near whisper, more dangerous than shouting ever could be.
“You think it’s funny? Talking about someone who’s not even here to defend herself?”
The guy’s face paled, and Rafe swore he was seconds away from landing a punch, from wiping that smug grin off his face. Just as he prepared his fist, ready to make good on his threat, he felt a hand on his arm, a small, insistent tug.
“Rafe,” a soft voice hissed. Sofia. He barely glanced at her, shrugging off her grip.
“Don’t,” he snapped, his voice sharp, dismissive.
He kept his eyes on the guy, who looked more uncomfortable by the second, squirming in his seat.
Sofia’s hand still hovering near his arm, cautious now. “Rafe, come on, this isn’t worth it. You’re better than this.”
She looked scared. Scared of him, scared of the situation. He wasn’t better than this.
He’d never been, and he’d been good enough at lying and pretending for her even to think that.
You would’ve known better.
Fuck, you wouldn’t have wasted time talking.
You would’ve yanked him back by his collar, shoved yourself between him and the guy, shot him that warning glare, daring him to keep pushing you so you’d have to drag him out by force. You always knew when he’d get like this, that edge in his voice, that look in his eye that told you he was seconds away from snapping. You knew better than anyone how to pull him back when he hit that switch.
But you’d never bothered with gentle.
Sofia’s eyes darted around the room, clearly embarrassed, maybe even afraid of drawing attention. He knew this wasn’t fair to her, that she hadn’t signed up for this part of him—the anger, the unpredictability. It wasn’t in his nature to stay silent, to ignore things and walk away.
He could almost see it—feel it, like a familiar bruise under his skin. You’d shove him hard enough that he’d stumble back, half-pissed and half-shocked. You’d get in his face, not even close to scared, cutting through his spiral. “What the hell is wrong with you, Rafe? You wanna end up in jail over some loser? Grow up.”
If you’d been here, you wouldn’t have given him a choice. You’d have grabbed his arm and dragged him away, kept a grip on him until he’d snapped out of whatever dark place he’d dropped into. You’d push him until he finally let go, forced him to come down from that blinding fury and face the mess he’d just caused. It was the only way he’d ever been able to listen—when you pushed him to wake up, forced him to look at himself and see just how reckless, just how stupid he was about to be.
But Sofia? She had no idea.
She thought saying “you’re better than this” was going to do anything, that with a light touch and some empty words, he’d suddenly be calm, reasonable, soft.
But he’d never been that way, never with you, never with anyone.
She hadn’t done anything wrong; she’d just seen the version of him he’d wanted her to see. The version he’d put together, patched up and polished, all so he could convince himself he was something he wasn’t.
With her, it was easy to pretend. He could smooth his sharp edges, show her just enough of himself to keep her interested without letting her close enough to see the mess underneath.
He’d let her believe he was the kind of guy who could just calm down, let things slide. The kind of guy who’d listen. He’d wanted her to believe he was controlled, calm. Sofia’s softness had appealed to him, but now, it only highlighted the differences between them.
With you, he’d never had the luxury of pretending.
You’d seen through him from the start, never let him get away with putting on some act.
You hadn’t let him pretend to be better than he was, hadn’t let him off easy when he’d tried to brush things off or shut down. You knew every side of him, even the ones he’d rather ignore. You’d always known exactly who he was, who he wasn’t, and you’d never been afraid to remind him.
He didn’t want to let it go, didn’t want to give the guy an inch of leeway to think he’d won this. Rafe sighed and released his grip, his hand falling from the table as he finally stepped back. Sofia relaxed, giving him a relieved smile, but it only made him feel emptier.
“You talk about her again and I’ll fucking kill you, you hear me?”
The guy sputtered, looking down, embarrassed and shaken. He muttered something under his breath that sounded like an apology, but Rafe didn’t care enough to hear it.
Sofia’s hand was still on his tail when he left, and as soon as he walked out of earshot of the table, she followed him, crossing her arms. Her eyes narrowed with an expression he’d never seen from her —disbelief.
“What was that?”
Everything.
Rafe didn’t speak. He was staring past her, back at the group, mind far from the confrontation and miles away with thoughts of you. She seemed to notice, her lips pressing together.
“I can’t believe you did that. You threatened to kill him, Rafe. Over what, a stupid rumor?”
A stupid rumor? She was making him feel like he was out of control, irrational—even though he couldn’t explain why this mattered so much.
“You wouldn’t get it. It’s not your problem.”
She flinched a little, her face falling, but to her credit, she didn’t look away. “You’re right. I don’t get it. Tell me.”
He wanted to believe that it could work with Sofia.
Nice girl, pretty too. She laughed at his jokes, and she didn’t call him out on his bullshit, because she didn’t even know that side of him existed. On paper, she was perfect. But she wasn't you.
He looked back at her, her worried eyes scanning his face.
It was frustrating—seeing the fear, feeling her judgment when she didn’t even know what she was judging.
To her, this was just some meaningless outburst, something he could turn on and off at will. This wasn’t her fault. He knew that. He hated how this wasn’t something he couldn't put into words, not in any way that would make sense to her.
“Forget it, alright?” his tone was harsher than he meant.
Sofia shook her head, clearly not willing to let it drop this time.
“Why would you get so worked up over something like this?"
To her, that’s all this was—just noise, harmless, inconsequential.
She looked up at him expectantly, her brows furrowed in confusion, waiting for some reasonable answer.
And it pissed him off, how she kept waiting, expecting him to offer some calm, measured response when he didn’t even understand it himself.
Sofia’s eyes softened, but it only irritated him further.
“She’s nice,” Her words drifted out casually like she didn’t know she’d just cracked him open. “She defended me, last week, when I was serving brunch.”
He couldn’t stop the self-loathing.
You had always been that way—ready to defend anyone, even when you were the one hurting. Rafe winced, hating himself for it, hating that you could still be so good even after everything. He swallowed hard, keeping his expression blank.
“Did she?” he muttered, trying to sound indifferent.
“Yeah,” Sofia replied, watching his reaction with mild curiosity. “Guess I wouldn’t have expected that.”
Rafe’s jaw clenched, that familiar hurt in his chest.
His mind was already conjuring all the times you’d jumped in, backed people up, and called out anyone who crossed a line. Even when it came to people you barely knew.
It made him feel like the worst person in the world, knowing that you’d been there for Sofia of all people, that you’d shown her that same loyalty. It made him hate himself even more.
His phone buzzed, saving him from the inevitable conversation, his hand brushed the side of his face as he glanced down at the unknown number flashing across the screen. He didn’t hesitate, before swiping the answer button.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Cameron, this is Dr. Harris from the hospital,” the voice on the other end said. “We’ve been trying to reach Miss Thornton about the blood work results from her visit three days ago. Unfortunately, there’s been an issue with our system and a few patient’s data has been deleted, except for the emergency contact information.”
Rafe’s stomach dropped.
He was still your emergency contact, not by choice probably. The hospital was calling about your blood work.
Was something wrong?
His blood ran cold. “Is she okay? Did something happen?” The urgency in his tone made Sofia’s eyes widen again, her confusion growing.
“We’re concerned about a possible infection. We need to run more tests to rule it out, but the symptoms suggest it could be more complicated. We must check thoroughly to be sure.”
“An infection?”
“Yes, but it could be nothing serious. We just need her to come in as soon as possible for a follow-up,” Dr. Harris explained.
There was a pause as if he expected Rafe to say something reassuring or offer to pass on the message.
Sofia’s brows knitted together as she watched him. “Rafe?”
“I’ll tell her,” he said, the words cracked in his throat. The doctor thanked him and hung up.
He stared at the phone waiting for it to ring again with more news, a reassurance that this wasn’t as serious as it sounded.
You probably hadn’t changed your emergency contact because it slipped your mind.
He couldn’t stand the idea that something could be wrong, and he was not the one you called when you needed someone. All he’d ever done was mess things up between you.
“What’s going on?”
How the fuck was he going to tell you when you'd blocked him everywhere?
He couldn’t call, couldn’t text, couldn’t even show up unannounced without risking the usual argument that would end with you screaming at him to get out, or worse, you looking at him with that unforgiving stare.
He knew you’d locked every door, bolted every window to keep him out, and he deserved it.
“It’s nothing,” he said, the lie slipping out automatically. He could feel her studying him, waiting for another explanation he also didn’t have the patience to give.
Maybe Topper could help.
The irony wasn’t lost on him—he’d given your cousin the mission of checking in on you, playing the careful messenger while Rafe kept his distance. That was supposed to be him.
But the reality was you hated him now, hated him enough that Topper was a safer option and yet, the private information still landed on his lap. As if he still had the right to be in your orbit, let alone the person trusted with this kind of news.
It felt wrong.
He knew you were going to hate him even more for still having access to your private details. It wasn’t really his fault—the hospital called him. He should have hung up the moment the hospital mentioned your name, told them they had the wrong guy. But he didn’t. He listened.
“If you need to go—” she started, trailing off when he didn’t answer. Her voice softened, tentative. “It’s about her, isn’t it?”
Rafe’s jaw ticked, and he looked away, out at the horizon where the sun was setting. “Yeah,” he muttered, not bothering to lie this time.
His thumbs hovered over the keyboard. He typed something out, then deleted it, then typed again.
Finally, he just went with the simplest thing he could think of and hit send.
Can we meet up? Tannyhill in 30. I think I know what’s wrong.
He half-expected some lame excuse or joke from Topper. Instead, the text he got made the deep lines across his forehead make an appearance.
Shit, you do???
Did the fucker already know?
Did he suspect? Or was this just the kind of baited question someone asked when they thought they were the last to know something big?
He frowned, gripping the phone tighter.
If Topper did know, why hadn’t he said anything?
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becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡
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Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?
Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.
Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)
Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.
Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...
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In Class ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.
Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3
"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!
Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)
No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...
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After class ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3
Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)
Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...
Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)
Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done
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Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.
Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3
Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.
No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.
Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3
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Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!
Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.
Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3
Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!
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Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)
Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!
Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3
Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...
Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)
Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33
As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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