#chimpanzee anon

[daisychainsandbowties]

little casper with a massive crush on their science professor!! i would be honored to be zoologist anon that is like one of the coolest jobs i can think of

that year of science was insane i was trapped between my zoologist professor and this girl i had an insane crush on (to this day i can’t drink dr pepper without a little 😳😳 because she introduced me to it BY LETTING ME DRINK OUT OF HER BOTTLE)

so, like i said, girlcrush and then your usual massive crush on professor led to… a very interesting year of class in our dingy science lab which smelled unfairly of chemicals and exhumed pig intestines (and i say this. in a complimentary way what a smell to be in love within)

anyway i dub thee zoologist anon it really is one of the coolest jobs 🥰🥰 i got to spend a day in a zoo helping out one summer because of good old irish nepotism and it was 😭😭😭😭 the best. the BEST

[aihoshiino]

It's actually so insane how misunderstood Ai is even in the fandom 😭 I saw a YouTube comment about her last scene with Ryosuke: "We do not know for sure but I think there is a good chance that she offered him hand not for his sake but to manipulate him so he would not harm her kids. She's a lie incarnate after all." 81 likes........ AND AS IF IT COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE. The reply under it: "she legit guilt-tripped her own murderer into committing suicide Aqua don't need to do shit she already got her revenge😂" 79 likes 💀

SORRY FOR SHOWING YOU THAT BUT I NEEDED SOMEONE TO AGREE WITH ME ON HOW THAT IS SUCH A HORRENDOUSLY BAD TAKE 😭😭

immediately after opening this ask i became so angry that i blacked out for a full 24 hours and when i woke up i was in prison. Having to think about it long enough to reply is making me animorph into a wild chimpanzee. REEKING TO HIGH HEAVEN DOGSHIT TAKE, BRO.

i really just do not fucking understand people who engage with the very clearly communicated text of Ai's arc and character and come away just going "oh she was a liar ig" and turn their entire brains off there. It's especially insane to see people doing this over the Ryosuke scene when not 5 minutes before we had Ai all but looking into the camera and directly explaining how deeply and desperately she wants to love other people. LIKE. WAS THAT A LIE TOO, SHITNIPS?? WHO DO YOU THINK SHE WAS LYING TO IN HER OWN NARRATION

I can't even cohere a remotely composed rebuttal to this. I need to go smash some breakable dishware. Media literacy in this fandom has been rotting in a ditch in Miami for the past 20 years.

thank you for sharing your agony with me anon. we're in this together. the wifeposting will continue so long as shit takes like this are still getting trotted out.

[snaxle]

you didn't even say it back. kys, i mean. i sent you such a thoughtful letter and all you do is malign me as a fanfic writer, who, even worse, can't even finish her wips. horrible. it wasn't a terrible guess given the demographics of your blog (or so i would conjecture based on halfhearted extrapolation based on crumbs of information absorbed counter to my will through social osmosis here) and the fandom inclinations of tumblrinas at large, though this is a cross i do not personally bear.

the charge levied against me by one commenter, namely that "[you] live rent free in [my] head" is false. a sizable proportion of your followers/mutuals/orbiters presumably are constituted of writers who don't finish their works (many such cases) as well the readers who are subjected to those half finished fictions and therefore cannot concieve of someone who looked at a couple posts, wrinkled their nose in distaste, and cranked out a "drabble" or whatever, closed the tab, and went about their day is out of the realm of imagination of the archetypal tumblrite, weighed down by a dozen half actualised ideas, splotchy faced and writhing around and waving their teensy fat fingered hands, shrieking and grabbing out to be given care and attention and to be nurtured so that they may mature into a finished work.

you may ask me what i am doing here if when i showcase such scorn for the character of the average tumblr user and the answer simply is 1) i don't care i just sound like this as a fixed state of being & 2) im like jane goodall if she was kind of a dick to the chimpanzees sometimes and if she was kind of stupid and insane and wrote screeds to one piece fans online.

becoming a one piece fan is an outstanding suicide prevention measure because it's just one final thing on the list to do forever. so im not really anticipating for any harm to personally visit you, nor do i have any personal stake in your demise or success but instead want for the environment of the internet to be slowly poisoned; first in small, enclosed environments like lonesome, neglected, and dying fish in places as toxic as a never cleaned fishbowl and then maybe, in some rosy dreams of mine, the sea dries up entirely and every whale is beached and terrifying krakens of the sea are brought to light crying and gasping and drying out in the sun and lethal pathogens unleashed when the artic permafrost melts and then evaporates and the sun beats down on all the sea creatures of the world, and bakes them, and the hole where the mariana trench once was reeks of rot for years on end. i wish people could be awful to each other, so so so badly. and you're a perfectly serviceable target, but so am i. i hate you, won't you hate me? why can't all the sisters and the brothers of the earth unlink arms in conjoint discord? if only.

and yet you don't see this vision at all, or don't value it. all this is heaped on you but you toss it aside without regard for the feelings and yearnings of the only anon you've ever received of substance. i wrap my undersized cold black ink secreting heart in some papers for you, crumble it into a ball and hand it to you, and you tag it as suicide bait without even doing suicide baiting of your own. tell me youve had an anon that has devoted 20 minutes to writing you before. repulsive. if it be your will for this to make it to publishing i would like to let the reader know that i would not recommend visiting to future hate anons.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Im a minor so idk much about the queer community but I just wanted to ask - is being queer a personality choice? or is it like a disability?

Context: I got into an argument with my mom about why she is "hating" LGBTQ+ community and in her words "I wouldn't wish someone in my household to be gay, but i dont have a problem with it" and when i asked what it meant she said "its like you wouldnt wish someone being blind or deaf in your household but you still have no problem over it" and then started rambling on how its not natural for gay people to exist as it wasnt the way of god??

BUT THEN she said that all these LGBTQ+ community was brought from foreign and isnt right. I just wanted a different perspective on wether this counts as homophobia or not (we live in India and my family is very religious so we are generally very conservative)

just wanted an opinion!!

hope you have a good day <333

Hi hon!

Yeah, this is pretty blatant homophobia.

It's common for people who are homophobic to believe that being LGBTQIA+ is a mental illness or a choice, but it's not. People are just born that way!

I think the reason a lot of people think it's a choice or that it's being 'brought in' or 'indoctrinated' is because it's become more 'common' nowadays. But the thing is, it's not actually more common. People are just more open about it. Years ago, and still in a lot of countries today, people who are queer hide that they're queer because they're afraid of retribution. They might hide their relationships, never have a relationship, or have a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, just to hide this. They might never even admit it to themselves.

Being queer isn't a disability, either, because (going by the ADA's definition "The ADA defines a person with a disability as a person who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activity") it doesn't limit you in any way. It's just identifying outside of the general heterosexual, heteroromantic, or cisgender norm.

Also, to address it not being natural- there are many species of animals that have been found to have homosexual relationships or to be transgender. For example, chimpanzees, dolphins, and penguins have all been found to have same-sex relationships. Clownfish change genders and male seahorses bear children. Queerness is actually VERY natural.

So yeah, your mom is being homophobic, unfortunately. But I'm glad you're looking for alternate perspectives to educate yourself!

Naming you opinion anon

[sgiandubh]

I try to think that a lot of the distrust directed at Alex N comes from his being from a Muslim family. There is a dose of prejudice there, regardless of any fruits that the work for Sam has brought.

Dear Prejudice Anon,

Of all the Anons submitting this afternoon, it is you who hit the jackpot, with your witty and provocative comment.

Part of the distrust directed at AN probably comes from his Muslim origins. In the very WASP entourage of These Two, he is a colorful and a bit dumbfounding apparition. We are human and, as such, somewhat conditioned by our own education, social background, life experience and culture. Something or someone different will always bare more scrutiny than something or someone that comes across as familiar. So granted, it was not going to be easy for him, especially when you know the very conflicted dynamics of this particular fandom. Anyone associated to S, even a secondary player like AN, would have been scrutinized to death and endlessly gossiped upon. Think about the two South African bozos, The Nics (describe and discuss, not even LOL) - and then multiply by at least 5, to get an idea of the intensity.

But then, let's face it: the guy is not the most sympathetic, either. He translates as superficial, arrogant, borderline useless ('who is this chimpanzee walking along Ginger Jesus?' seems to be a common motif), a profiteer, an impostor, you could go on and on and on. And because S shares/promotes only his business life/projects lately, it's very easy to focus on AN, simply because he is always there, like chewing-gum on a boot sole. So much so, in fact, that the creepy Gay Crowd finally dared to verbalize what they have been more or less covertly implying for at least a year, now: 'they are together'.

That is absolutely sordid, of course. And come to think of it, illogical. If S were gay and closeted, why hint at it now, when his business projects need to pick up steam and generate profit? Why risk everything on this kind of innuendo? Mind boggles.

I have nothing against AN because he is Persian or Muslim - quite the contrary and I will come back to these tropes a bit later, in a separate post. I look at this guy with a perplexed and a bit wary eye simply because I cannot, for the life of me, understand the added value of his presence in S's business endeavors. All I saw, up until now, was, to put it elegantly, underwhelming.

This is probably why I have no balanced POV to offer, on this topic. I can comfortably say we probably give him more gravitas than he really has, simply because he is obnoxiously (and conveniently) present. In the very limited and calculated peephole glimpse that S is allowing this fandom, when it comes to his real life.

[nugulover69]

Any recommendation of sentai with "bratty/asshole-ish red" type? I love bratty reds.... Gira's a special case because while he's not "bratty" I love his tears and sufferings haha

Extremely good ask Anon, I have a few reccs

Jan - Gekiranger

Feral cat boy (as in "literally raised by tigers" feral) SUPER BRATTY especially early on. he does become less bratty over the course of the show as part of his character arc (his domestication arc if you will) but its a really well done character arc. mega genki and utterly precious. also he has the speech pattern of a toddler. you'd think that would be annoying but it only adds to his kitty charm

Gekiranger also just a great show I'd recommend it to anyone

In fact here's more Jans to peer pressure you into watching it

Sosuke - Go-onger

Absolute menace to society. def in the "asshole" category of red, massive ego and braindead stupid. I mean all of the go-ons are stupid, that's their in-canon strength as a team, but he's like "undiagnosed CTE/chimpanzee on adderall" type stupid. and violent! utter bastard love him dearly

These last 2 reds aren't bratty or mean BUT they do suffer a lot and I wanna recommend these shows anyways

Red - Gaoranger

Yes his name is Red, the gaos refer to each other by their colors not their government names. moderately genki, a wee bit dumb and just plain strange. and hoooo boy does he get his shit rocked. all the gaos get their shit rocked, often out-of-suit and for several real world minutes at a time. several members die. they get better tho. I won't say which ones

Gaoranger is my personal favorite midtier sentai. barely a plot and zero character progression but its a fun brainless watch. even better to watch one handed wink wonk

Yamato - Zyuohger

Opposite of bratty and mean, he's super accommodating and nice almost to the point of being a pushover and his genki attitude is very obviously a mask, not helped by his teammates being a bunch of ornery animals (literal) plus a needy, emotionally volatile sixth. also mans got daddy issues. and mommy issues. and uncle issues. Yamato's suffering is just as mental as it is physical. and plenty of physical suffering is had

Zyuohger actual good show as well, even when not accounting for the plentiful ryona

Also I haven't watched dekaranger yet (I hear its just Fine) but I do know dekared is absolutely batshit. like dropkicking his teammates type batshit. if anyone wants to recommend more bratty/cunt reds from sentais I haven't seen yet to Anon, speak your truth x

[obsessivevoidkitten]

NO, cuz the way I act like an escaped chimpanzee till I get to read another one of your beautiful story's. It's actually like water and breathing A NEED. And I am READY for this pollen fic🫡 but seriously you make my days go by easier with the way I know I get to go home and read your fics.

<3 (can i be?) 🤡 anon

Your comment made my day, I am glad you like my writing so much!

You can be 🤡 anon.

[cosmobrain00]

re: gore anon, ppl who are against it are the ones who started watching st cus of the "gayness" which is why a lot of ppl dont use the horror of the show to make horror art, and which is why a lot of fanarts r just "fluffy" to the point where u think st is a slice of life show, they just like the idea of a fandom centering around their two gay boys

SCREAMING LIKE A CHIMPANZEE STRONGLY, STRONGLY AGREE ANON!!!! banging on my pots n pans to get evryones attention bc I have been SAYING this is why ppl r so sensitive bc for sm odd reason they thought they were abt to watch heartstopper part 2 like no bitch!!! cant handle the heat get outta the kitchen dont pretend like st isnt inherently fucked up! it'll never be ur cute queer romance story sorry not sorry, go somewhere else for tht

[notahorseindisguise]

As someone who's lived in both, the wildlife in the US and Australia are both fiucking bananas compared to europe and everything wants to kill you.

However, I will say that the wildlife in the US is significantly less poisonous and more maul-y.

Like, nothing in australia's gonna maul you face off and eat your liver, but nothing in the us-canada-mexico is gonna kill youi in seconds with no possibility of anti-venom. I mean christ, they even have CATS (mountain lions) in the us that people are (mostly irrationally) afraid will kill you.

we've been over this on the fucking post. the reason the wildlife in AUS and the US are dangerous are because thats how fucking natural selection work. and, like many people pointed out on the post, europe also had dangerous animals before they hunted them to the point of extinction.

you ready for your mind to be blown? think about elephants, hippos, rhinos, lions, zebra, giraffes lemurs gorillas chimpanzees ... these animals are NOTHING like australian wildlife OR american wildlife!! think about pandas, asian elephants, asian tigers... wait a second these are somewhat similar to african wildlife!! almost like they come from common ancestors and speciated over centuries to turn into different animals. i feel like people dont understand how evolution works.

the animals on the american continent are incredibly different to the animals on the australian continent. however - and heres the crazy part - the people ARENT. humans arent really a part of the circle of life. animals dont maul and eat humans anywhere because no animals feed on humans (except for a couple). i dont know how to explain this to tumblr because it seems like nobody understands biology . i understand it enough to know what im saying is right but not enough to get the point across apparently. let me simplify. you are no more at risk of dying from animals in ANY way than you are in america.

australias wildlife is "more poisonous"? first of all, i think you mean venomous. sorry that was a cunt move but like im right . and second of all. explain. give me three examples of native australian wildlife that are venomous. dont google it anon, tell me. youve lived here so im sure you can think of a few. are kangaroos venomous? koalas? emus? wombats? venom is something that evolved to exist independently everywhere in the world in nature because its an incredibly powerful defense mechanism. thats convergent evolution.

it sounds like youre trying to agree with me in this ask, but yet you still want to hold onto the idea that australias wildlife is inherently more deadly . let it go. please anon im begging you for your own sake stop viewing animals like this and start thinking biologically. every single animal in every single country fills a different biological niche that it was the best suited to fit in its own environment. no country or continent is more likely to evolve more dangerous wildlife

[alarrytale]

Don’t you think that the label pushing Louis to kiss a kid in the mouth that’s not his a bit too far? Like no matter the situation they’re in I don’t think they’d be able to push Louis to do that unless he truly felt indifferent about that child’s well being

Hi, anon!

I've answered this question before. I don't think the label pushed him to do that. He needs to make it seem like they're father and son, that's what Sony need. If he can't pull it off that means more stunting with F at a later date and more denials (more than already required from him). So he can either do it properly or he can half ass it and that will have consequences later. I believe L will do whatever he can to minimise F's exposure and times he has to stunt. L also knows that they have no natural familiarity or a father and son bond, so he has to do something that will show that he has affections towards the kid.

The Tomlinson family kiss kids on the mouth. It's just something they do to show affection. So this was no hardship for Louis at all. You might find it unusual and intimate, but don't project your own feelings onto Louis. For him this was fine, something that's normal to him, and like i said no hardship at all. For people who don't know him it must seem like a very grand gesture and very affectionate. They must all go awww look at them. We know Louis, we know this is something he does with all kids, his siblings and friends kids. He'll even kiss chimpanzees if they're small and cute and on his lap.

Louis cares about F's well-beeing. He wants to protect him, but they're practically strangers to each other. Seeing each other once or twice a year. Every scene together was talked about and cleared with F and his real parents. L does as best as he can to protect F and fill his stunt obligations.

[bonefall]

Lol just found that anon's dream/ask about the Erin's having Ashfur have kits that are evil and Dream Bones goes NO and saves one and names them Ashkit jr, and all I can say is. I can actually see you doing that if they actually do it. I literally can. Like even if one of the next villain even just looks like Fern, Brindle, or Birch I can see you going like "Erin's you better not have..."

Villian: "I have come to finish what my father started!!"

Elder Bones: "Erins..."

Villain: "My beloved father..."

Elder Bones: "Treading a fine line Erins.."

Villain: "After how you treated him, Squirrelflight!"

Elder Bones: *grinds teeth.*

Lionblaze: "We don't even know who you or your dad are!"

Jayfeather: *deep sigh.*

Villian: "My Dad is Ashfur, he was your mentor!! Now I'm going to make the clans pay!"

Le clans: *le gasp.*

Anon if this happens I will shapeshift into a 4,000 pound chimpanzee and climb Big Ben and fight a bunch of planes and it'll be your fault

[stormbreaker-290]

YOU KNOW I COULDN'T HURT A FLY MY FRIEND, I'M NOT THE TYPE TO STEP ON ANTS I'VE NEARLY CRIED FOR MOTHS THAT DIED IN PORCH LIGHT LAMPS MORE FOR THE PLIGHTS OF MICE THAN MEN SEE I MYSELF HAVE BEEN STEPPED O SO MANY TIMES IT STARTED TO FEEL LIKE MY PLACE I'VE FAILED TO FIT IN INTO THISE NESTS THAT SCRAPE THE SKY IS THERE ROOM FOR ME IN YOUR CAGE?

-will wood anon

ANIMALS ARE PEOPLE TOO, BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS

HUNT IN PACKS AND ACT AS THOUGH THAT PROVES WE CANT SURVIVE ALONEE

BUT I GUESS WE JUST EVOLVED DISGUST FOR PREVENTION OF INFECTION THOUGH, SHAME WAS AN INVENTION MADE FOR PRISONS PALES AND PEST CONTROL, YEAH SURE THUMBS ARE GREAT AND ALLL

BUT I JUST GET BEAR NECESSITIES, HAKUNA MATATAS AND C'EST LA VIES, QUE SERA SERAS, WHAT A CROCK, I MEAN BIG TALK FOR A CHIMPANZEE

[is-the-primate-vid-cute]

What is the mods' favorite joke skill/trait to assign to different species of primate? i.e orangutans can cast spells or gorillas would be good at grilling

My favourite is what another anon suggested: that chimpanzees would make good lawyers and gorillas good judges. Allows me to imagine jungle court in session.

[just-somedude]

hi! biology major anon!!

male bonobos or pygmy chimpanzees (yes, the monkey) practice penis fencing just…for funsies! no particular reason has been like documented- as far as ive read which is unfortunately too much, but they are known to have some weird sexual practices! now, unlike flatworms there is no insemination with bonobos- they just… rub on eachother.

this leads me to my favorite fact about japanese macaques or snow monkeys! female japanese macaques will engage sexually with other females for pleasure and for bonding! during mating season, if a female does not want to mate with another male she will engage with a female and one or the other will defend against males! a lot of very interesting articles on this behavior and female japanese macaques social standing!

a lot of ur favorite animals probably have some habits that r kinda like “…what” and biologists just throw their hands up and r like “just accept it!!” and its rlly my favorite conclusion when reading any journal or article

So basically some monkeys are just like me, and some monkeys are gay, fucking love that

[unnervinglyferal]

I'm back, and I told someone (you might guess who) I wanted his dick. Got left on seen for now, no idea if he'll answer later. This was a very bad idea. Remind me to never be forward like this with anyone again, in case the sole humiliation doesn't remind me enough.

Also, I wish babies could hang into their fathers and mothers like chimpanzees too.

-Furniture Anon

I know that the "just don't do that then" type of advice is worthless because if it was that simple and easy, the problem wouldn't exist at all in the first place, but I honestly have no idea how else to solve this. Some way of having your needs met without having to wade through people who won't treat you right.

[proxylynn]

If monkeys evolved into people, why are monkeys still monkeys?

[Because, my inquisitive anon, Humans and monkeys are both primates. But humans are not descended from monkeys or any other primate living today. We do share a common ape ancestor with chimpanzees. It lived between 8 and 6 million years ago. Just because one branch of our line evolved into what we are now (there were also other humans like Neanderthal which interbred with Homosapiens but they died out as a whole) doesn't mean all of the genetic tree evolves with it. Evolving is a DNA "see if this works or not" random lottery that happens in individuals. Sometimes it works out, improving some part of that individual and thus it is able to pass it down to the next generation. Other times, you get a wonky mess or something that seemed okay but didn't pass in the long run. A good example of this is the animal life on the Galapagos Islands. Plenty of those animals have cousins on the mainland, but they have evolved specifically for life on those islands and with each new generation, they continue to adapt better. I think what often confuses some is they don't think things are still evolving, which they most certainly are. It's why we find new species still and old ones manage to survive. We, even now, are evolving. It might not be a dramatic or noticeable change. But none can deny that humanity of the now is different from humanity 1000 years ago and even sooner than that. We evolved to survive our wild age and now, as we have basically dominated that, are now evolving to survive the artificial wild of our own making.]

{Kinda went off on a bit of a tangent, but I hope that it made sense.}