#chill vibes and they help me remember that everything will be fine

[kooktrash]

infrunami ✮ jeon jungkook

summary: you’ve made great friends throughout the years but none like jeon jungkook. he’s there for you when you need him and although at times when things get complicated between your feelings and thoughts… there’s one thing for certain. you both have been wasting time acting like there’s nothing between you.

✮ genre/au: friends to lovers. y/n[afab, she/her] x best friend jungkook

✮ 18.7k

warnings: smut. f2l. slice of life. besties jk and y/n. slight jealousy vibes. idiots to lovers. lot of sexual tension. everyone knows they like each other. for the smut [no protection sorry yall]. heavy makeout. slight dry humping. grinding. doggy style. soft dom vibes jk. whiny y/n. jk gets jealous but never admits it. they both talk to other people bc they’re in denial.

song inspo: infrunami—steve lacy, my kind of woman—mac de marco, no. 1 party anthem—arctic monkeys, love between—kali uchis

Friendships in your twenties, you’ve learned, come in various forms.

There were people you’ve known since you were a teen and people you’ve only just met. Some who know everything about you and some who only get a piece of you. You’ve got the ones you meet up with on a random Thursday to run an errand because you haven't seen each other in so long—and you have the ones who seem to always be knocking on your door. Having people who wanted to be around you was one of the best things you’ve ever experienced.

“You’re late.”

He raised his shoulders in a shrug as he picked up the helmet that was strapped onto the back of a black motorcycle, “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Part of you gave up on acting upset as you let him slip the helmet over your head. You took his backpack off his shoulders and shoved your things inside before putting it on your back.

“Thanks for the ride,” You hooked a leg over the seat, straddling the bike as you fixed yourself up behind him. The helmet fit snugly around your head and you held him around the waist comfortably, “I’ll buy you a meal.”

“You promise?” Jungkook asked with a teasing smile as he kicked up the stand and brought the engine to life, “I’m craving steak.”

“Just don’t break my pocket,” You patted him softly, checking your phone one last time, “I swear if they don’t give me my car back I’m going to throw a fit.”

“Maybe next time don’t park in a restricted area,” He said lastly, driving off with youn. Your friendship with Jungkook was different from the others. He was your best friend.

Not in the way Mirae was or even Taehyung but he was up there. He’s the one you’d have knocking on your door because he’s bored or bothering you during the middle of the night. He’s also the one you call because you know he’ll answer.

You don’t remember exactly how you two met but it was some time during college, an after party maybe? Campus? Not likely. He was infamous for never showing up. Whatever, it was beyond the point. The point is that somewhere along the way you made friends with an overly clingy man who spent too much time at the gym or gaming in his bedroom when he wasn’t at work.

No, you’re not dating him nor do you want to. He’s kind of just… your overly good looking friend who would do anything for you.

“I forgot my lunch at home so I’m starving,” Jungkook pushed past you to get inside the small barbecue place he dragged you to. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and follow. He’s taken his backpack back to set it on the chair next to his and you sat across from him. It was a familiar place to eat and the menus took up an unnecessary amount of space so he took them both without question.

“What if I wanted to try something new?” You asked with a slight scoff, pretending to be annoyed but he saw right through it.

“You don’t, you’re too picky. You’re just going to get the same thing you always get,” Jungkook said with another shrug before giving you a menu back anyway, “But fine, browse a little.”

“Chill on the attitude,” You joked, looking over the menu with disinterest.

“How do either of you manage to be here at least once a week?” The server grumbled as he approached the table, “And that’s on a good week.”

“Hey, I haven’t been here in like, four days?” You said, second guessing yourself and looking at your friend, “He’d live here everyday if he could.”

“True, Jin is one of the best cooks I know,” Jungkook confessed, making your server roll his eyes.

“Please, Jin’s rarely here since the new place opened up but don’t worry, I’ll pretend to believe you,” he snatched the menus away from you both, “And like you don’t get the ‘Family & Friends’ discount. What’ll it be? The usual?”

Jungkook turned to you with an amused expression, eyebrows raised as he waited to hear your new order. He even had the nerve to rest his chin in the palm of his hand and the server waited with a bored expression.

You sunk into your seat, “The usual.”

“Damn, we should’ve bet on it,” Jungkook grimaced as he took his phone out of his pocket to scroll through his socials, “So how was the meeting? It took a while didn’t it?”

“Don’t even get me started on it, I can already tell they’re going to be a handful. I might pass them onto Mirae,” You told him honestly, “She can handle them better than I could.”

“It’s because you’re hot headed,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He felt your hard stare and he couldn’t help but smirk, “You know you are.”

“Says the guy who almost got into a fight because of Overwatch,” you threw your straw wrapper at him but he caught it and chucked it back at you.

“First of all we were in a tournament and I could’ve won some money,” Jungkook said defensively, “Any sane person would react the same way.”

You raised your brows pretending to be convinced and stared off into space. After your meal and you footed the bill like promised, Jungkook drove you to your apartment.

“Let me know if you need a ride to the garage tomorrow,” Jungkook said as he took the helmet back and you retrieved your things from his backpack.

“What are your plans tonight?” You asked curiously as he got back on his bike.

“I don’t know, a friend of mine asked me to go have drinks with him so I’ll probably do that,” He told you honestly, “Why? Wanna watch ’Love, Death & Robots’ again?”

“Just curious, be safe and don’t drive,” You reminded him.

A grin widened on his face, “Will you pick me up if I drink too much—oh right, you don’t have a car… awkward.”

“Asshole,” you hit him playfully, making him sway but he kept himself steady.

“I’ll call for an Uber or something, night.”

There’s not a specific moment that made you and Jungkook become good friends. You sort of just clicked right away. In the beginning there might’ve been a slight tinge of attraction but it was the kind you felt for a stranger walking past. It wasn’t anything either of you wanted to pursue and ended with a good friendship. You learned a lot from each other and somehow managed to co-exist together.

In the beginning nearly all of his friends thought you were into him. They tried to put it into his head that you had a thing for him but it never went anywhere. Jungkook never made a move on you and after a while everyone just accepted it.

This is what friendship looked like. You didn’t have to sleep with each other. You were like one of the guys… aside from the obvious. Now everyone just takes you as you are, a good friend of his with no sexual feelings involved.

“You just got off work?” Yoongi asked as Jungkook finally joined him at the bar, “I thought I was going to have to drink enough for the both of us tonight.”

“Don’t you wish,” Jungkook chuckled, taking a seat and the drink his friend ordered for him, “But no, I was having dinner and had to drive Y/n home.”

“Oh, how is she? Haven’t seen her in a while,” Yoongi asked.

“Her car got Towed at my apartment for parking in someone’s spot a couple days ago. She’s pissed,” Jungkook answered knowingly, “But she’ll survive. What’d you ask me over here for?”

“Oh, I’m talking to this girl who’ll be here soon and she’s got a friend with her.”

✮

Two hundred dollars down the drain all because you parked somewhere you weren’t supposed to. It puts you in a bad mood for a couple days. You weren’t necessarily short on cash but that didn’t mean you wanted to waste it to get your car back.

“Don’t touch me I’m sad,” You mumbled into your desk as your coworker hovered a hand over your back ready to comfort you.

“You didn’t get it back?” Jimin asked, opting to sit on the edge of your desk instead.

“I did, that’s why I’m sad,” You nearly cried, “I’m never staying at anyone’s apartment but mine ever again. It’s too expensive and there’s never enough parking anywhere.”

“Poor you, I know what’ll cheer you up though,” Jimin said with a scheming smile that had your head raising skeptically, “You, Mirae and I out for dinner and a couple drinks after work.”

“I’m pretty sure I just said how much money I spent!” You rolled your eyes making him do the same.

“I’ll pay, silly,” Jimin said, “You look like you could use a drink.”

You were a victim of peer pressure, and for pressure you needed very little of it. All it took was both of your friends reminding you how much fun it would be before the FOMO set in and you joined them.

“You’re so easily persuaded,” Mirae said with a laugh, “Min didn’t even have to beg this time.”

“I’m going through a tough time right now,” You said playfully, reaching across the table for another portion of fries, “Thanks for taking those clients.”

“Yeah yeah, but if I need any favor you better be the first one to grant it,” Mirae pointed a stern finger at you and you nodded eagerly.

“One Wish coupon with your name written on it, noted,” You tapped your head a couple times before shooting her a Thumb’s Up. Your coworker [turned close friend] rolled her eyes with a smile as she raised her glass, “Ready to chug?”

“Oh fuck no,” Jimin groaned, staring down his nearly full glass, “Are we drinking-drinking or are we drinking?”

“Baddie Baddie Shot O’Clock,” you nudge his arm, “Don’t be scared now. You asked for this.”

“We have work tomorro—fuck it, let’s do it,” Jimin said while you and Mirae began a chant ready to take the drink.

There were a couple… a few drinks involved for all of you. It was supposed to be something casual but that never seems to be the case when you’re with your work friends. They’re a good time all the time and sometimes a nice break. Aside from Jungkook, they're some of your closest friends. They know you in a different light than he does. With Mirae you can talk to her about anything and with Jimin he‘s a good time. He doesn’t tease or scold you the way Jungkook does… he lets you have fun.

Not to say Jungkook doesn’t but it’s different and you don’t know how to explain why.

jungkook: hungryyyyyyyyy

jungkook: hungryyyyyyy

jungkook: HUNGRYYYY

you: lower your voice smh

“Is that Jungkook?” Jimin asked, stealing a fry for your plate, “What’s he doing? Ask him to meet us.”

“No, I’m mad at him,” You said with a huff, thinking about the expensive towing bill. You weren’t actually mad at him but more about the price you paid today. Jungkook is the one who told you it was fine to park there and the one night you do, your car gets towed. It’s never happened before and it’s technically his fault. His stupid landlord is an asshole and therefore you’re never stepping foot at his place again.

you: and actually I’m mad at you

jungkook: 🤓 why

you: 200$ 😞

jungkook: :(

you: you better buy me a spot if you want me to come over again

jungkook: hell no

You put your phone face down and looked at your empty glass, wiggling your brows at your two friends, “Another?”

jungkook: hungrryyyyy

Jimin rolled his eyes even as he let you go to the bar and order more. While you were gone he got on his phone and began to type. Mirae looked over his shoulder, “Who are you calling?”

“Jungkook.”

Jungkook knew Jimin well enough to have his number saved. They weren’t close but he’s met him around you before and the guy’s cool. When he called Jungkook assumed it had something to do with you and answered.

“Hey man, what are you doing?”

“Starving,” Jungkook groaned, staring at his empty fridge, “You?”

“Come to JJ’s, Y/n is here and we’re having a few drinks. There’s some food,” Jimin said as he looked up at you.

“Jungkook’s on his way,” Jimin told you once the call came to an end but you barely shrugged in response.

When Jungkook arrived you greeted him like normal and he bumped you further into the booth before immediately digging into your plate. He even had the nerve to ask which drink was yours before taking it, “I haven’t eaten all day.”

“Why do I feel like that’s a lie?” Jimin asked, trying to pass Jungkook the menu so he could order something for himself, “How are ya, buddy?”

“Alright, busy with work,” Jungkook said with a shrug, “It’s been back to back sessions lately and I think I need a break.”

“Have you been going to the chiropractor?” You asked worriedly. Jungkook sneered, turning to look at you, “I thought you were mad at me.”

Your jaw nearly dropped as you scoffed. He’s here eating your food and giving you attitude? It’s obvious he’s joking but it’s annoying. You crossed your arms over your chest and slumped back, “You’re here eating my food, asshole. Fine I won’t talk to you then.”

“I have been going to the chiro,” Jungkook says to you, “Thanks for worrying.”

“I wasn’t worrying,” You rolled your eyes looking across the table at Mirae as Jungkook and Jimin talked like they were good friends.

“Okay I know what I’m using my wish coupon on,” Mirae said suddenly, “You’re going with me to the movies.”

“Yay, what are we watching?” You asked more interested now.

“I don’t know. The guys haven’t chosen the movie yet,” Mirae said as she got on her phone and went to add you to a groupchat.

“What guys?” Jimin asked curiously, making Jungkook turn to look as well.

“My friend’s boyfriend and his friends,” Mirae explained briefly, “They've been wanting to go see this horror movie but it always feels awkward when I tag along with her, her man and his friends.”

“Sounds like a group date,” Jungkook said to you, watching your excitement slowly turn to dejection and for some reason it made his heart beat faster.

“It kinda does,” You agreed.

“It’s not like that. They’re actually kind of cool but I still want someone to talk to,” Mirae told you, “They’re cute.”

“Let me see a picture,” You reached out for her phone.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Jungkook asked Jimin who aggressively shook his head no.

“Not since the last one, I think she broke my heart,” Jimin pretended to sniffle, “You?”

“Nah, kinda? No,” Jungkook shook his head, “Whatever it is, it's nothing serious.”

“It’s never serious,” You corrected, “I don’t know how he keeps track of them all.”

“Don’t make me out to be a slut,” Jungkook placed his hand over his chest. Easy banter went on for the rest of the night. It was casual and comforting to spend time with those close to you on a random week night. It reminded you of how good things can be and why you liked being with them. Jimin was fun, careless, considerate. Mirae is full of welcomed attitude and charm. Jungkook is comfortable and protective, always around and ready to meet up for anything. They made things feel easy.

When you date a guy you want him to fit in with your friends and that is hard to find.

✮

Jungkook has always been a laid back guy. Despite whatever struggles he’s had, he’s always taken them with a strong head on his shoulders and people to support him. He comes from a loving family and close friends he’s known for years. He’s been in relationships and talking stages that changed him and did his military service as early as he could. He had a plan for himself and when he decided to go to college he didn’t expect to meet you.

It’s not like you had a huge impact on him or anything but he didn’t expect to meet someone he can get along with so easily. He thought he already had his lifelong friends picked out. How did you manage to force your way into his close circle and introduce to people and things he wouldn’t have known otherwise.

You’re his best friend and don’t let any of the guys hear him admit that. They already give him too much shit about you.

“Are you going for Y/n?” His friend asked a few days after he met up with you and your friends for dinner. He’s been up to his usual routine during the week and has barely gotton to see or talk to you.

Jungkook and his friend just had a two hour gym session that left them both jittery and out of breath as they sat in the locker room packing up their belongings. He pulled his helmet out and carried it next to him as he shook his head no, “I’m not driving her around anymore.”

“She got her car back? That’s good,” Taehyung said. You didn’t have it for almost a full week and during that time Jungkook was helping you get to and from work. Since then you’ve had your car and haven’t had a reason to call him up—not that it mattered or anything.

“Wanna get on the game later?” He asked.

“Sure, I’ll shower and have dinner then hop on.”

The two split ways and Jungkook got on his bike to rush home. His evenings didn’t contain much excitement as they did during his college days but they were alright. He’d do exercises after work, head home and wash up, make dinner or go out, and hang out. If he was seeing someone it would look slightly different but he doesn’t usually let it get that far.

It’s not that he’s scared of commitment or anything, he just doesn’t feel the need to be dating at the moment. He’s perfectly content with the way he lives and if he were to get serious with anyone it would have to be someone who understands him. Yes, he does the occasional hook up or fling but they’re never more than that. He’s bad at seriously dating. He’s got to feel truly comfortable with someone.

After his shower, he stood alone in his kitchen thinking of what to make for dinner when he checked the time on his phone. It was almost nine and he’s yet to hear about how your night has gone. The movie was set at six so you had to rush after work to meet with Mirae and all her people but the movie should’ve ended by now. Why haven’t you told him how it went if it’s over now?

Maybe he should just ask.

jungkook: is the movie over

You probably won’t respond if your phone’s on ‘Do Not Disturb’ so he didn’t expect a response.

you: yeah

jungkook: was it scary

you: ehhhhhh not really

jungkook: what r u doing now

you: they wanted to get food after

jungkook: and here I am cooking for myself

Without question Jungkook took a picture of it all, sending it right to you with a message that said;

jungkook: ur favorite

you: 👀 is that an invite

jungkook: depends, r u gonna actually come over or hang out with ur new friends

you: idk one of them is reallllyyyyyy cute

jungkook: stay with them then

You looked at everyone you were with curiously. The movie had ended a bit ago and you were walking to the nearest restaurant talking. Mirae was right, the guys were cool and her friend was nice but it was a lot of effort on your part to be social. One of the guys was particularly cute and he spent a little more time with you than anyone else but did that really mean anything?

“I think I’m gonna call it a night,” You said, thinking about the early morning you have tomorrow and how everyone seemed ready to grab a few drinks. Mirae looked at you, “Really? You’re not even hungry?”

“Not really,” You lied with a shrug, “Are you gonna be good?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You said goodbye to them all, sharing information with the cute friend and split ways. On your way to Jungkook’s he let you know parking spot 97 was good to use and despite arguing with him about it you took his word.

“If I get towed again we’re not going to be friends anymore,” You told him once you let yourself into his apartment, immediately being greeted by Bam whose tail whipped back and forth behind him with excitement.

“It’s my spot, Goofy,” Jungkook said, casually throwing on a shirt once you were in. Up until now he’s been cooking shirtless from his shower.

“Your spot is 98,” You reminded him, watching the way he rolled his eyes and turned the stove off.

“Didn’t you tell me to rent you one?” Jungkook asked, pulling the pot off the stove and onto a cooling rack, “Grab bowls.”

“You actually did it?” You asked with a smile, “Bless your kind soul.”

He brushed you off as you did what he asked and went straight to the end of the peninsula countertop where you could sit and eat. Jungkook didn’t bother sitting down, choosing to eat standing up behind the counter and looking at you with curiosity.

“What?”

“How was the date?” He asked.

“What date?” You scoffed, “You mean the movie? One, it wasn’t a date and Two, I told you it was alright.”

“You didn’t drink, did you?” Jungkook asked, ignoring the attitude behind your words. You rolled your eyes, “I wouldn’t have driven here if I had been. I left before we made it to the restaurants. Why so curious tonight?”

He shrugged, the plate completely empty and he began to wash it and what he used to cook. When you finished and offered to help he told you no and washed your stuff too.

“I’m so full, have I ever told you how good of a Cook you are,” You said as you threw yourself onto his couch, a grunt leaving your lips when Bam nearly tackled you down.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing it again,” Jungkook said, rummaging through his fridge and smiling widely, “Want a drink?”

“I’m driving.”

“You can just crash on the couch, it’ll be fine,” Jungkook shrugged, carrying over a couple glasses and a bottle of Soju.

That was enough convincing for you to sit on the floor beside him as he set things down on the coffee table. You took the remote and played some movie in the background as he poured the small glass.

“You’re a bad influence,” You joked as you took the first drink like it was a pre-starter and he did the same, “We’ve got work tomorrow.”

“You only go in for a couple hours, I know your schedule, don't forget that,” Jungkook pointed a teasing finger at you, plopping down on the floor with his legs crossed, “I’ve got a beginner’s session around 10am and a few private classes after. I’ll be the one regretting it tomorrow, not you.”

“Yet you’re still the one asking for more,” You said playfully, reaching for the familiar green bottle and pouring a little more in his glass. You didn’t notice the way Jungkook’s gaze flickered down to your exposed waist when you leaned over the coffee table to grab it. The waist of your underwear showed just slightly underneath and he was surprised to find out it was black and lacy making his eyebrow quirk with curiosity. When you sat back down he looked away, pretending to be focused on the movie, “You dressed up for your date?”

“It wasn’t a date,” You said with a groan, sitting back a little closer to him than before and he didn’t bother moving away, “And look at what I’m wearing. Does it look like I dressed up?”

A knowing smirk pulled at his lips as he raised the glass to his lips, “I didn’t realize you wore lace so casually.”

Your brows furrowed with confusion, realization dawning on you just moments later and without thinking you pushed at him playfully, “How’d you know?”

Jungkook laughed, hand sliding down your back where your shirt rose and he didn’t hesitate to reach for the thin fabric nearly pulling on it just to feel you squirm. You couldn’t help but whine, moving away, “Freak.”

“Says you,” Jungkook said, keeping his hand on you, “Come on tell me, how was the date.”

“Why are you insisting it was a date?” You asked, taking a big gulp and turning to face him, “You never hear me asking about your little flings or whatever you like to call them nowadays.”

“But if you asked me I’d tell you, I wouldn’t be all secretive about it like you are,” He said with a shrug of his shoulders, “Hurry up and drink more.”

“Don’t pressure me,” You rolled your eyes but did as told, “And I did tell you. I said one of them were cute over text, remember?”

“Hardly,” He shrugged looking away with a bored expression, “Cuter than me?”

You didn’t say anything making him smile, “I’ll take that as a no.”

“He was alright, pretty cute and nice,” You finally said but Jungkook wasn’t listening anymore. His attention had drifted to the way you leaned against him with your side against his fitting perfectly beside him. It was obvious your words fell on deaf ears but you didn’t seem to mind either. You turned to face him, convince him that the guy you met was just cute but it wasn’t worth it. You’ll probably never see the guy again and if he does want to text, it most likely won’t lead to anything.

“What?” He asked, catching your stare.

“You’re drunk,” You pointed out his red cheeks and ears, “Already?”

“No.”

“Then why are you blushing?” You asked with a teasing smile going to poke his flushed cheek when he grabbed your hand suddenly. You both had been casually drinking since you sat down but it isn't until now that you can feel the alcohol take effect over your body. You blamed it for the way you were looking at your friend at the moment.

It was hard to see him as just Jungkook, right now you can only see him for how attractive he was. He’s gotten way more muscular lately and with the added tattoos it’s hard to ignore it. When you walked into his apartment earlier and found him shirtless it was hard not to look at his abdomen. You don’t remember the eight pack or his biceps that big. Without thinking you placed a hand on his chest, taut muscles tense underneath your touch.

Jungkook couldn’t help but let his breath hitch when your hand trailed down his rib cage suddenly, “What?”

“You’ve gotta get a new hobby, you’re going to get too bulky,” You said jokingly, feeling his muscles. He was taken back to have your hand on him but he didn’t back away, “But you like it.”

Not bothering to wait for a response, he lifted the end of his shirt displaying a smooth trail of muscle down his torso and prominent V-line that you tried not to eye too hard. Your hand slipped down without much thought to your actions and lifted your brows in surprise. His skin felt hot to the touch and part of you wanted to keep running your hand over him but you knew better. It would be weird if you did. It’s not like he’s just some random guy…

“I need to pee,” You blurted out, rushing to your feet and kicking his leg playfully, “Put your shirt down.”

“Might just take it off for you,” Jungkook teased, biting his lip watching you walk away.

When you were alone looking at yourself in the mirror it was easier to tell how you felt. You were past tipsy and buzzed but not fully drunk. Your vision was slightly blurry and when you stood straight you felt dizzy but it was the good kind of dizzy.

“What next?” Jungkook asked when you came out of the bathroom, hair up in a clip now and makeup wiped away with some wet wipe he had in the bathroom. He had to do a double take at your new appearance but he didn’t mind the change. You looked comfortable and he can see the clear look of buzz on your face that he’s sure matched his, “Or are you calling it already?”

“Calling what?” You sat back down next to him, stumbling into him a little and he helped you with a hand on your waist guiding you down. Neither of you seemed to care for the fact that you were partially sitting on his lap.

“Calling it a night,” Jungkook said, shifting you closer to his front, “You’ve taken off your makeup, put your hair up… you look ready for bed.”

“I thought you wanted to drink,” You said, suddenly aware of how close the two of you were and his lip piercing had a slight shine from the light reflecting off of it.

“Not if your date tired you out,” Jungkook said with a knowing smirk when you rolled your eyes, leaning into him a little more. He didn’t care who you met up with tonight but he knows it’s getting on your nerves and sometimes he loves to push your buttons, “You probably would’ve preferred to stay out with them since one of them was… what’d you say? Cute? Nice?”

“If you think that, why'd you ask me to come over?” You asked slightly irritated now.

He shrugged, grinning now when he felt you relax in his hold, almost straddling him, “Technically, I did say you could stay with them.”

Your eyes narrowed, hands on his chest ready to push yourself off him, “Fine, I got his number. I’ll see if they’re still ou—“

“No,” He whined, arms tightening around your waist, “No, you’re already here and you’re drunk now. You can’t leave, be a safe driver.”

“Are you trying to manipulate me to stay?” You couldn’t help but laugh, arms circling around his neck. He felt your breath tickle his ear and for some reason it made a shiver run down his spine.

“Depends, is it working?”

It was.

It had been since the beginning. Jungkook didn’t need to do much to get you to hang out with him and he knew that. It’s the same way around. It takes little for Jungkook to beg you to spend time with him. You’re his best friend.

And as his best friend… sometimes… sometimes he wonders how your lips taste. He doesn’t remember when his hand moved from your waist to your neck, or how he moved it to tilt your chin up until your lips were brushing against each other. All he remembers is how close you were to kissing and all he needed was one push, one sign that you want this too and he’ll go for it.

You nearly fell into it too. You can blame the alcohol or the fact that Jungkook is incredibly hot despite only seeing him as a friend but you wanted to kiss him too. You would’ve.

Key words: Would Have.

“Open the door, you Fuck!”

You practically threw yourself off him as someone pounded on his door and it took you a second to reel in what was about to happen. Jungkook couldn’t move for a second, trying to understand why you got off of him so quickly when he heard it again.

“Jungkook, I checked your location, open up,” His friend yelled, knocking on the door, “I’m going to piss myself, let me in!”

“Coming!” Jungkook shouted, sounding annoyed as he got up to unlock the front door. You pulled yourself onto the couch, fixing your shirt that had risen when his hands had grazed your waist and stared down at the empty bottles of Soju.

“Tae—“ He couldn’t finish his sentence before his friend was pushing past him and running straight for the bathroom, waving hello to you before disappearing. He stood at the open door trying to wrap his head around what just happened.

The two of you were drinking, messing around and almost kissed? Almost? If Taehyung hadn’t come barging in would you have done it? Would you know when to stop? Would you stop anyway?

“Fuck, I was in the cab on my way home and he would not pull over,” Taehyung said once he was done with his business, “I was like ‘Listen dude, my friend lives around here so drop me off or I’m going to puke in your backseat’.”

“I thought you had to pee,” You chimed in when he sat down next to you, acting like he had been there the whole time.

“I thought so too but it came up the other way instead, what are you guys doing? Drinking?” Taehyung asked looking down at the coffee table, “Ugh I can’t even think about it, don’t play APT with Jin hyung, he talks too fast and wins everytime.”

“Maybe he was just speaking gibberish but you couldn’t tell,” Jungkook said, arms crossed over his chest looking unimpressed, “So… is the cab still out there waiting or…”

“Nah, I’m just gonna crash here—“

“Great!” Jungkook scoffed, “Sleepover at my place, first Y/n… now you… it’s like we’re in school…”

“Well I would’ve gone home if you didn’t ask to drink,” You told him trying to ignore the fact that you almost kissed but it was hard to ignore the way he bit his lip at you, “I could still call an Uber.”

“Nah, Taehyung can,” Jungkook said, sitting on the armchair across from you.

“Whoa, you’re the first person I thought of, why kick me out now? I’m drunk, Kook, be nice to me,” Taehyung pouted, leaning against your shoulder, “What’d you do? Why’s he so grumpy?”

“Don’t blame me, you’re the one that came pounding on the door so late at night,” You said playfully, shoving Taehyung off. He was more Jungkook’s friend then yours but you’ve hung out around him enough to feel comfortable with him.

“So? I always do that—Why?” Taehyung turned abruptly, “What were you guys doing?”

“Drinking,” Jungkook said, “You wouldn’t want to since yknow… Jin got you drunk… you probably want to call it a night…”

“Nah, I puked a little earlier so I’m fine now,” Taehyung said, “Plus I haven’t seen Y/n in a while, what are we watching?”

“Actually, I’m tired,” You told him with a small yawn, “I think I’m calling it a night.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Taehyung asked.

You laughed, “No, I’m just saying I’m tired.”

“Go to my room,” Jungkook said with a sigh, thinking about what the two of you were about to do before he stormed in, “I’ll stay out here with him.”

When you left, Jungkook threw a pillow at Taehyung’s head, making the other groan, “What?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook huffed , “Now I gotta sleep on the couch.”

Taehyung smirked, feeling more sober now as he put two and two together, “Or you could go follow your girlfriend…”

“We’re no—we’re not dating,” Jungkook thought about how you almost kissed and his face flushed red, “For fuck’s same, go get the extra blankets and pillows. I get the big couch—“

“But I’m like a centimeter taller than—“

“This is my house!” Jungkook yelled, throwing himself on the couch and covering his face with one of the pillows, “Or get an Uber back to yours.”

“Jeez, you’re rude tonight. I always come over when I’m drunk,” Taehyung laughed knowing how annoyed Jungkook was, “Just say you were going to get freaky with Y/n.”

“I wasn’t!”

✮

It took you a full day to come to terms with what happened the other night at Jungkook’s. The two of you had been drinking and almost kissed, almost.

There’s no way to deny it. You were close to kissing.

If Taehyung hadn’t shown up out of the blue, would you have done it? Would he have slept in the same bed as you? What would you do or say if he asked?

There’s always been an underlying sense of tension between you but you tried not to think about it. You told yourself that nothing was ever going to happen. It was just how friendships with someone you found attractive was.

A loud sigh left your lips, dropping your head against your keyboard and letting an endless stream of spaces fill the word document. Soft fingers pulled your head up to slide the keyboard out making you look up at the person who did it. Jimin sat at the end of your desk, “I was just sitting in my office wondering why my friend hasn’t gone to distract me today. What’s up with you?”

“Morning, can’t focus,” You told him.

“How’d the showing go?” Jimin asked, trying to find something that could get you talking.

“They liked it, it’s a little over their budget but I think we’ll close the deal on it,” You said.

“Good, what about the other night?”

“What about the other night?” Your question sounded rushed and made him look at you with peaked interest. He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked.

“With Mirae and the movie,” Jimin said. He watched you release a breath you weren’t aware you were holding and pressed you for more, “Did you talk to any of the guys?”

“Yeah… um, I did,” You sat back, chair swiveling out as you turned to face him, “His name’s Namjoon. I got his number and he texted me yesterday before the showing to wish me luck.”

“So what? Are you and Mirae gonna ditch me when you guys find someone? Who are going to be my drinking buddies when you’re off with your boyfriends? She told me all about the other guy, I’m starting to feel pushed aside,” Jimin spoke in a ramble making you roll your eyes.

“Relax, it was the first time I met him. Mirae, yeah she really hit it off with the other guy,” You said.

Jimin just nodded, taking in your words and finally deciding to bring it up, “Mirae said you left early though.”

“Yeah, they wanted to go out to eat but I wasn’t hungry…” You said.

“Bullshit, I checked your location, you went to Jungkook’s pla—“

“Okay! What’s up with all the stalking lately? First Taehyung, now you—we share locations so that you know I’m safe after a night out,” You pointed a finger at him, trying to deflect some of the questions away from you, “And yeah, I did go to his place. He made food and I didn’t want to go eat with all of them anyway.”

“Interesting excuse, so what? Did you guys fight or something? You know I understand you’re close friends but you’re not close friends like we are.“

“That’s not tru—“ You cut yourself off thinking about how you almost kissed Jungkook and as much as you love Jimin, you’ll never find yourself kissing him, almost!

A loud groan left your lips as you dropped your head against the keyboard again and Jimin watched the aggressive keyboard smash type out gibberish. This time it was his turn to roll his eyes and he stood up, “We both know that’s a lie but fine, I’ll let you be.”

You don’t remember how the rest of your day went aside from the fact that you were distracted the entire time. Right now you have three different clients you’re currently helping buy their first home and the last thing you need is to be distracted right now.

Jungkook is your friend and until he makes it clear that he is interested, you’re just going to move on. Well… even if he was interested, what does that mean? Does that mean you’re into him? It’s all so confusing.

He took a deep breath, leg threatening to bounce with anxiety as he counted the reps his current client did between sets.

“Kook, man, you’re killing me today,” His client said with a deep huff, nearly collapsing on the floor as he set the weight down, “I thought we’d be taking it easy after the last session.”

“I don’t know why you would think that,” Jungkook said, “Take a breather and do another fifteen.”

Even as he said that, he switched places with Hoseok and prepared himself to do a set. His client watched him with his mouth open in confusion, “It’s what you said! You said we’d be taking it easy today since last time was so much. I’m still a sore man, please don’t do this to me.”

”You’re right, I did say that,” Jungkook huffed, counting in his head as he did bench presses, “Next session we’ll take it easy.”

“Fuck, I need a new trainer,” Hoseok groaned, chugging back water and pacing back and forth.

“You’re at my gym! You’re lucky we’re friends, don’t say that,” Jungkook stood up and motioned for Hoseok to go, “Now you're doing twenty.”

“Rude,” Hoseok said, “What’s up with you anyways? You seem on edge today.”

“I’m fine,” Jungkook said looking down at his gym bag where his phone currently was, “But uh, just out of curiosity… if someone hasn’t talked to you in a couple days, what does it mean?”

Hoseok couldn’t help but chuckle, “Come on, how old are we? That’s what you’re stressing about?”

When Jungkook didn’t laugh it off Hoseok got a little more serious, “Depends on the person. Girlfriend? Family member? Stranger?”

“Not girlfriend—just friend,” Jungkook clarified quickly.

“Friend?” Hoseok looked at him curiously, “Friend with the occasional benefits or Friend you’re currently upset with?”

“Neither, just friend,” Jungkook shook his head, “I mean… like actual, genuine friend and… fuck, I don’t know.”

“Who?”

Jungkook didn’t say anything but it wasn’t hard for Hoseok to connect the pieces, “Y/n?”

To that, Jungkook nodded meekly.

“I mean… it’s normal to not talk everyday. We don’t talk everyday, I send you like a hundred Instagram reels a day that you don’t see me crying about,” Hoseok said, skipping from 15 to 17 and hoping Jungkook didn’t catch the reps he didn’t do, “Which by the way, you could at least bother to react to every now and then.”

“Sorry, you’re right, I’m overthinking it,” Jungkook said, “And you’re not done, you skipped ahead.”

“Fucker,” Hoseok cursed under his breath and hurried to do them properly before he could take a break, “But honestly, what’s up with you and Y/n? Aren’t you ‘just friends’?”

“We are,” Jungkook bit his lip nervously, “I don’t know I’m being weird. I’ll just ask her what shes doing later.”

“Being weird about what?”

Jungkook looked at him with wide, rounded eyes like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have and the words came out in a shy whisper, “Nothing.”

✮

Over the night Jungkook reached out to you. He sent you some stupid text about a new tv show he’s watching that he thinks you could get into. It wasn’t anything serious or anything but it brushed past what happened. It was normal.

Things were normal and clearly nothing had happened that night so you were overthinking for no reason.

“You don’t want to go?” Mirae asked, watching you stare at your reflection for the hundredth time trying to find something off about your appearance.

“I do, we’re going, don’t worry,” You looked around, “I just need perfume.”

“Where’s Jungkook?” She asked, standing up for you to give her some too. You checked the ETA on your Uber before answering.

“Huh? He’s probably already there, I don’t know. Let’s go downstairs, the Uber’s pulling up,” You told her as you quickly grabbed your things and began to walk out your room. Your friend followed suit, “And then we’re going out with Namjoon and Jisoo, right?”

The only reason Mirae agreed to come with you was so that you could go with her and the guy she likes later. A couple days ago Jungkook let you know that Taehyung was going to have a few friends over to watch some MMA fight on tv and drink. You still felt awkward seeing him in person and he knew you had no reason to say no so there was no point in trying. In the end you asked Mirae to join you and after begging, she agreed. She had plans with one of the guys from last week and found it perfect to have you tag along after.

You’ve been to Taehyung’s place once or twice before — usually with Jungkook — but it was different to walk in without him.

“Look who finally showed up,” Taehyung said with a smile as he opened the door for you and Mirae, “Hi Y/n, and Mirae right?”

The two have met before but it was brief and awkward so you were surprised he even remembered her name but they greeted each other politely anyway. You looked around, surprised to see a lot more people than you anticipated, “Doesn’t look like a couple friends, Tae.”

“I’m a social being,” Taehyung said with a hand to his chest, “Jungkook is somewhere around here. I thought you’d be coming with him and then got stuck waiting around for you to show up.”

“I need a drink first.”

Jungkook was across the room talking with some people you didn’t know. It wasn’t hard for you to see that the one closest to him was a pretty brunette with a soft smile and big eyes. She talked with him the most and you had no idea who she was. For all you know he could’ve come with her tonight or just met her and really hit it off, you’re not sure, and you’d rather not know.

He barely knew the girl but Yoongi introduced her to him a while before you got to Taehyung’s place. He had been staring at his phone anxiously waiting for a text that never came and the next thing he knew, Yoongi was having him meet Sera. She was pretty and easy to talk to, paid attention to him even when others talked and stood by him wherever he moved to. It was alright, he didn’t mind the extra attention but it wasn’t… that interesting.

Sera said something in his ear that he had to lean down to hear properly but in all honesty he wasn’t listening to begin with. If anything it reminded him of when you whispered in his ear but it didn’t feel the same. His eyes scanned the people that arrived over time, occasionally drifting to the door and stopping once he saw you walk in. You wore a short black dress that accentuated your legs and it was hard for his eyes to remain on your face. Mirae was dressed similarly and you both looked out of place in a good way.

“How do you know Taehyung?” He heard Sera ask and he answered with little eagerness, watching you talk with his friend and head for the drinks.

“We met a few years ago when I first moved to the city,” Jungkook said, looking down at her trying to focus but his mind had gone elsewhere. Turning to Yoongi he said, “I’m gonna go say hi to Y/n.”

Yoongi could try and keep him around but there was no point. Jungkook was walking off before anyone could stop him. He left Sera alone with the others so he can talk to you. Since you last seen each other and had the ‘Almost Kiss’ he had only texted you. You’ve both had a busy week with work and nerves probably kept you apart.

He didn’t like that. He didn’t want to overthink anything. He just wanted to talk to his friend.

“What are we drinking?” He asked with an overly gracious smile, slipping himself between you and the counter so you were forced to look at him.

“Depends, what have you had?” You asked, immediately feeling yourself tense for a second before you realized who it was.

“Nothing too strong just yet,” Jungkook admitted, “I’ve been waiting for you all night.”

He greeted your friend quietly before looking back at you and where you stared off at, “Really? I’ve been here for a while, I figured you would’ve noticed earlier if you’ve been waiting all this time.”

He could sense the small sarcastic tone in your voice but there was nothing strange to it. You usually talked this way with him, always sounding close to flirting or jealous or… interested in him. It was confusing at first but overtime he’s learned to ignore the tone or offer it back. It works for your friendship.

“I might’ve gotten a little distracted,” He couldn’t help but smile, “What time did you get home last night?”

“Early,” You said with a shrug making his brow arch, watching you pour yourself a mix of rum and coke.

“Then why didn’t you text me back?” He asked.

“I did—well, I was going to,” You began to say, feeling yourself on the edge of smiling as you thought up an excuse, “I forgot.”

“Right…” Jungkook rolled his eyes looking over at Mirae instead, “You both look nice, did you just have dinner or something?”

“No, we’re meeting up with some guys in a bit,” Mirae said without much thought and you snapped your eyes to her. She looked up, catching the way Jungkook’s smile dropped a fraction lower and shifted her gaze toward you. Your glare was enough to tell her she shouldn’t have said anything.

“Guys? The one’s from the movie? What are you doing? Going out?” He asked, attempting to sound indifferent. It’s not like he can say anything. He doesn’t know why it doesn’t sit right with him but it didn’t. He didn’t even know the guy but he knew you thought he was cute. Jungkook knew you were talking to him at least a little and that you wore a dress for him tonight.

“Take this,” You offered Jungkook the drink, “And we’re going out for a little bit but I think it’ll be a casual night.”

“Super casual,” Mirae laughed nervously, looking around, “Where’s the bathroom? I’ll be back.”

Before you could follow after her, he stood in front of you.

“So who were you talking to? Have I met her?” You asked, clearing your throat awkwardly. It was an attempt to take some of the heat off of you because this was feeling like an odd interrogation. Anyone passing but might think it’s a lover’s quarrel but it wasn’t.

“I’ve barely met her,” Jungkook said, “It’s Sora… Sua… Sera? Something like that, I don’t know. A friend of Yoongi’s I met the other night.”

“Cool,” You looked back to find her talking with someone else now.

“What about the cute and nice guy you’ve been going on about? You’re seeing him again tonight?” Jungkook asked, taking a sip from the cup and leaning against the kitchen counter. He had a good view of you standing a couple feet away and he had to resist the urge to pull you closer.

“I have not been going on about him, there’s nothing going on,” You told him with an exaggerated sigh, leaning into him absentmindedly and feeling his hand on your side keeping you steady, “I asked Mirae to come with but she had plans with them after and just asked me to tag along.”

“Alright, you don’t have to explain it.” Jungkook said, sounding like he was brushing you off but not meaning to. Obviously he was happy you were here and talking to him but he didn’t want to hear more. It was beginning to sound like you were explaining yourself to him. Making yourself sound better after he asked you about Namjoon. He doesn’t even know why he asked you about that guy, he doesn’t care.

“Alright, I won’t,” you crossed your arms over your chest looking away from him, “Don’t ask me about anyone then.”

Jungkook had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from responding. He didn’t have anything to say because all he wanted was for you to tell him a little more about Namjoon. Why did he act like he didn’t care when he did?

Without bothering to ask anything he was scared to know about, he turned away from you and looked back at the people he was standing with before. You walked off to find Mirae, a little annoyed with Jungkook for reasons you couldn’t understand and needed to get away. Whatever, you almost kissed and considering he hasn't said anything about it it’s clearly not on his mind. If that’s the case why does he act like he cares about who you talk to only to stop you when you explain yourself?

When he joined Yoongi and the others again he acted like he didn’t care that you wandered off away from him. He didn’t seem bothered when you left later that night without saying goodbye and didn’t check his phone once for a text from you.

He can’t explain why but he doesn’t know how to feel about you. For so long now it feels like you’ve just been a close friend to him. You’re someone he calls when he’s bored and thinks of when he finds something funny. You get him like a friend, you don’t expect much either. You’re more like the guys he’s friends with, and you’re not like the girls who’ve tried to get with him. He doesn’t know how to explain it but he likes having you around and the last thing he wants to do is complicate things by catching feelings.

Especially when he doesn’t know how you feel and he’s too nervous to ask. It’d be crossing the line. You’d probably be grossed out if he expresses interest in you. He’s seen how quick you are to stop being friends with a guy who approaches you like a friend but wants to be with you.

He’s already done too much by almost kissing you.

“Y/n, good to see you and don’t you look pretty,” Namjoon said later that night, hugging you in greeting when you met up with him and Jisoo. The club you’d gone to after Taehyung’s was lovely and packed with people everywhere that it was hard to find him in the first place. He brought a surprising smile to your face but you’re not sure how to feel about him just yet.

“Thank you, thank you, dressed up just for you,” You told him playfully, leaning against the bar when Jisoo asked for your drink order. Namjoon was attractive and charming but… there’s something holding you back even if you flirted with him absentmindedly. Was there much weight to your actions? Did you actually care to get to know him better?

“I like it, how’s your night been?” Namjoon attempted small talk. It was what your conversations usually consisted of. Even the first night you met you only talked about the movie and when Jungkook texted you, you talked about your friends too.

He’s told you a little about himself and you’ve told about yourself but not enough. Your mind always seemed off somewhere else.

Time passed by without wondering about Jungkook, using Namjoon as a distraction but it didn’t work for as long as you hoped. When your night had dulled and your friends dared to call it the end, Namjoon looked at you for an invitation to your apartment that you never gave him. You went your separate ways and left on your own.

It was past 3am and you should’ve gone to bed, not gotten on your phone to find someone to talk to.

“Hello?”

“Are you sleeping?” You asked, falling on your bed and sinking into the pillows.

“Was trying to, what’s up?” Jungkook asked with a small yawn that had you debating if you should hang up and let him sleep instead.

“Nevermind, you’re tired I shouldn’t have called,” You began to say, looking around for your phone charger to connect it before you end the call.

He sat up in bed, checking the time and sighing, “But you did, are you still out with your new friends?”

“Jungkook!” You whined, rolling onto your stomach and staring up at your dimly lit ceiling.

“I’m kidding,” He laughed softly, voice a little raspy from being half-asleep but he couldn’t help but press you again, “But are you?”

“I just got home but I’m not tired. I’m bored.” You admitted.

“What should I do about that?” Jungkook smiled, imagining the way you roll your eyes.

“I don’t know…” You bit your lip in thought. You really weren’t tired but that didn’t mean you had to drag Jungkook around.

“Want me to come over?” He finally asked.

“It’s late.”

“I think we both know that.” He rolled his eyes, already getting out of bed so he could throw some clothes on, “Do you?”

“What would we do?” You asked, leaving your bedroom so you could get the front door unlocked for him.

He put his phone on speaker as he slipped on a pair of sweats and threw a hoodie over his head, “I don’t know, we both don’t work tomorrow. Maybe watch a movie?”

“At this hour?” You asked. You could hear Jungkook huff, sitting on the edge of his bed unsure what to do, “You really want to come over?”

“Maybe, you did ditch me tonight—“ Jungkook started, getting cut off by yet another whine.

“No I didn’t! You know what, come over so we can talk,” You told him.

“I’m already getting dressed, chill out.”

It took only around ten minutes for Jungkook to come around and he walked into your apartment with a shake of his head. You must’ve left it unlocked earlier and he didn’t like that. What if someone broke in? He locked the door behind himself, kicking his shoes off by the heels you wore tonight. The only light he could find came from your bedroom and he didn’t hesitate to let himself in.

“What have I told you about leaving your door unlocked?” His words were barely heard over your scream of terror as you walked out of the bathroom dressed in a t-shirt and pajama shorts.

Once the scare wore off you said, “Relax I left it open for you.”

“Sure you did, I bet it was for your new fri—ow!” He groaned dramatically when you hit his arm playfully. He laughed at your annoyance and threw himself on the bed, “I’m kidding. What’d you go do anyway? Did your dress leave him swooning?”

“You’re so annoying,” You sighed jumping down next to him, “Just say you’re jealous.”

“Jealous?” A scoff left his lips.

“Sounds like it,” You looked for your remote, “What do you wanna watch?”

“I’m not jealous. If you want to go hang out with another guy then do what you want,” Jungkook cleared his throat awkwardly, “We’re just friends, anyway.”

You raised a brow in confusion and surprise by his tone with you, “And if I wanted to don’t you think I would be doing that right now?

“I mean you did earlier when you left,” Jungkook said annoyingly.

“Go home if you’re going to argue with me,” You told him, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest with frustration.

“Hell no, I drove over at this hour, I’m sleeping here,” As if to make his point more clear, he made himself comfortable on your bed.

“Not if you’re going to act mean.”

“I’m not!” Jungkook scoffed, leaning up with your pillows, “I’ll stop, whatever, fine. Don’t kick me out, it’s so late. I drove all the way here for you.”

“It’s like a ten minute drive,” You groaned when he pulled on the end of your hoodie, “What?”

“This is mine,” Jungkook looked at the gray apparel, “I don’t remember giving it to you.”

“You didn’t, but you left it in my car,” You tried to pull back but it was no use. Jungkook wasn’t letting you move away.

“So? Doesn’t mean it’s yours. I want it back—“

“I’ll wash it,” You pulled your covers up to hide yourself underneath but there was no point. A smirk appeared on his face, “I want it now though.”

You didn’t say anything as he pulled you closer, falling over him a little. His hand slid down your waist keeping you against him, too close to be appropriate for two friends.

“What are you gonna do? Take it off me?” You dared to ask, making yourself comfortable against his chest. Part of you knew you shouldn’t be laying in bed like this with your friend.

“Should I?” He asked in a low whisper, fingers slipping up your back just under the hoodie where he could feel your bare skin. You didn’t wear anything underneath and it made him want to explore more.

You didn’t say anything or bother to push his hand away. You kind of liked his touch, it was gentle but his fingers were rough from all the time he spends at the gym. Your body lay on his, leg nearly hooked around his waist and looking down at him with curiosity.

Jungkook could make out small fragments of makeup you couldn’t get all the way off. There was still a small outline of lip gloss and your lashes were dark and long. Your cheeks still had a hint of blush but even in this state you were pretty. He can’t get the image of you in that dress earlier out of his mind.

You were oddly close to him and found yourself in the same predicament as last time. Your lips only centimeters apart from his and a need to close that space. Jungkook parted his lips in a breath, catching the way you looked at him and his hand had slowed down its caress until it was tracing a soft line against your spine.

He felt the shift of your upper body when you tried to lean up, almost closing the space but hesitant still.

You wanted to kiss him. He can tell and he wanted to kiss you just as bad. This time around there were no interruptions so what was stopping him from leaning into you too?

“How much did you drink tonight?” Jungkook found himself asking before he could stop himself. It wasn’t the right time to ask but he wanted to know if this was just something that happened when you were drunk or could it happen sober too?

“I don’t know, I stopped drinking like a while before I got home,” You leaned back, brows furrowed together, “Why? You drank tonight too?”

“I went home a little after you left,” he admitted. It was around midnight when you left Taehyung’s to go with Mirae and those guys. He’d barely managed to survive at the party much long after that and called it an early night. You’d been out longer than he had.

“Okay…” You pushed off of him, feeling his arm loosen around you, “That was kind of random.”

Jungkook knew he should have stayed quiet. He should’ve just kissed you and see where things could’ve gone but he had to ruin it. He had to ask you something that was eating at him.

All he’s been able to think about lately is possibly kissing you and this time around he ruined it all on his own.

“Y/n,” He poked your side to get your attention but you had your back to him, turned on your side and tuned him out.

You felt stupid for even attempting to kiss him. He pushed you away after what felt like him flirting with you and it was embarrassing. He just sees you as a friend so you have to stop doing this.

With a huff of frustration, he stretched himself out on his side of your bed and stared at the night landscape on your flatscreen. In a few short moments it’d go into sleep mode on its own and the room would go pitch black.

You must’ve been tired, worked up or even a little buzzed still but you fell asleep long before he did. You’d been so tired you didn’t notice when your cell phone fell onto the bed in the space between you and just as he felt himself close to sleep, the screen lit up the room.

Jungkook planned on ignoring it, not caring who might’ve texted but something in him told him to look. Plus, you’d be mad if you woke up in the morning and your phone wasn’t charging. He picked it up, eyes squinting at the bright light and read the notification.

namjoon: did u make it home safe ????

Here he was sleeping in your bed while another guy texted you. How dumb is he?

You flirt with him but you don’t want him, simple as that and he doesn’t know if he could take it anymore. After some contemplation, he carefully got out of your bed and rounded to your side. He found your charger and connected your phone before he left your bedroom quietly and went home before you could wake up.

✮

Your office felt oddly cold that following Monday. You spent Sunday holed up in your bedroom trying to figure out what happened over the weekend and you’ve somewhat come to terms with it when you texted Jungkook and he chose not to respond.

You weren’t in the mood to work but there was nothing you could do about it. The clients you were supposed to meet with postponed the lunch meeting to later in the day so really, you could go home for a while but you also didn’t want to. It would make you think about how you almost kissed Jungkook and how he pushed you away and left in the middle of the night like you were some one night stand or something.

“I’m not going out anymore,” You told Jimin as you walked into his office, “I make poor decisions when I’m under the influence and I’m done.”

“Why? I thought you went out with Mirae,” Jimin said swiveling his chair out from under his desk top, “Which by the way, fuck you both for no invite.”

“It was last minute,” You told him, leaning against a shelf, “And I regret it.”

“Why?”

“Stop asking me questions, I can’t explain it,” You whined, covering your ears dramatically which only made your friend roll his eyes.

“You storm into my office complaining and I’m not allowed to ask questions? What happened to a positive work environment?” Jimin asked with a scoff.

“It’s hard to explain, it was great when I was with Mirae and Namjoon and Jisoo but…” You bit your lip nervously.

“But what?” Jimin waited. He knew how your night went because Mirae filled him in on everything. He had known you went to Jungkook’s friend’s place to pregame and if it wasn’t the group you were with that left you stressed it had to be Jungkook. You think you’re so secretive about the trials and tribulations of your ‘friendship’ with him.

“Nothing,” you sighed out, checking your phone. Maybe you just needed to give it a few days for the embarrassment to go away and you’ll be fine again.

Jimin looked at you expectantly, deciding to take a different route for his questions, “So how was it with Namjoon? Mirae is all Heart Eyes for Jisoo.”

“Huh? Oh, no it’s nothing like that,” You told him honestly, “We talked yesterday and I don’t know, I think it’s obvious we’re good as friends right now.”

“So no feelings at all?” Jimin asked, watching you shake your head, so he kept pushing, “Really? Have you actually thought about it though? I thought he’d be someone who’s your type or something.”

You stayed quiet, not bothering to hear him out as you let your mind run rampant. Namjoon is attractive but he’s just a friend and he knows that. If you were not emotionally available you might have given him a better chance but right now you know you feel something for Jungkook. It’s stupid considering he clearly doesn’t want you but it would be unfair to Namjoon if you used him to get over the other.

✮

It took over a week for Jungkook to get the courage to talk about you. He wanted you, he wanted you so bad but there was something holding him back. He’s mad that you’re possibly interested in someone else and he’s pissed that he ruined your chance at kissing. He’s annoyed with himself for many reasons and the only thing he thought to do was distance himself from you.

There’s no point in asking to hang out all the time if you’ve got someone you’re interested in, you'd probably rather spend time with.

Throughout the week he found himself joining his other friends and whatever they did instead of seeking you out like usual. If they thought it strange no one had the nerve to question it. It was obvious there was something going on between you and considering Jungkook’s been on edge nobody wanted to push him to know more.

On Tuesday he met up with Yoongi for dinner and surprisingly enough some other people showed up—Sera (the girl from the party) being one of them. She talked to him the most like last time and it was clear she was very interested in him. He was flattered but that was it. He was too stuck on you even when you weren’t talking.

By the time the weekend rolled back around, Jungkook let himself be dragged to another night out. Yoongi and some of his other friends got him out for a couple drinks at a few bars. He didn’t mind it, but it was weird when Sera and others showed up. It felt oddly like a set-up and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“So you don’t think she’s hot?” Hoseok asked as he waited at the bar with Jungkook for the round of drinks he’d just ordered. Jungkook looked back at the group finding Sera looking at him but he just looked away.

“She’s… she’s alright,” Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, not really my type though.”

“Why? Because she’s not Y/n?” Hoseok asked with a scoff that made Jungkook roll his eyes. Out of everyone Hoseok was always the main one to point out his relationship with you. It all started when Hoseok made a comment months ago about how he thought you were hot and Jungkook was a little too quick to shut it down. It was weird for him to think of two of his friends going out or talking and Hoseok took that as a sign that Jungkook wanted you… which wasn’t true.

Anyway, the point is, Hoseok always brings you up around him and tonight was no different.

“Where is she anyway? I feel like I haven’t seen her around in a while,” Taehyung said, appearing out of nowhere holding a drink of his own.

“You saw her last weekend,” Jungkook told him.

“Yeah, but I haven’t seen her with you,” Taehyung clarified but Jungkook didn’t seem to care anymore. Hoseok nudged Jungkook and with a drink, “Let’s go talk with Sera and maybe you can introduce me to her friend.”

Taehyung let the other two leave and without thinking he grabbed his cell phone and dialed your number.

You were hanging out at Jimin’s place after finishing some work with him and Mirae when Taehyung called, “Hello.”

“Hey Y/n, where are you? What are you doing?” Taehyung asked looking back at Jungkook who looked tortured to be sandwiched between Sera and Hoseok.

“At a friend’s place, what’s up?” You asked looking between your friends who looked back at you with curiosity.

“Come to JJ’s Bar, we’re all here,” Taehyung kept it simple. In all honesty, he genuinely likes having you around. You’re funny and like Jungkook in a way. When Jungkook brought you around it was surprisingly easy to befriend you and you’re someone he likes seeing. He thinks you and Jungkook should get together some day—if you haven’t already. He doesn’t understand why it hasn’t happened yet when you both clearly want to and okay, he might’ve cut in on that first night but he swears he was drunk. He didn’t mean to and since then you’ve been distant from each other.

He’s been trying to invite you since Jungkook wants to be too stubborn to admit he wants you around.

“Who’s we? Yoongi? Jungkook?” You asked, beginning to gnaw on your bottom lip, “Let me think about it.”

When you hung up, Jimin was the first to speak, “I can drive you.”

“I don’t know… I haven’t really been talking to Jungkook this weekend,” You admitted to making Mirae roll her eyes.

“We know, but it’s obvious you want to. You’ve been depressed all week,” She said, trying to convince you to be honest about your feelings. Neither one of you wants to admit what’s going on between you so you just keep going around it. You’ve been off for a couple weeks now and everyone can see it but you two.

At the bar Jungkook was bored. He wasn’t in the mood to drink or be out with everyone but he dragged himself along because he had nothing better to do. He wasn’t going to stay home staring at his phone or getting FOMO because he missed his friends. He doesn’t want to be here but he doesn’t want to be home.

Frankly, Jungkook knows where and with who he wants to be but he’s too stupid to pick up his phone and call you.

“Jungkook, be honest, are you seeing anyone?” Sera finally asked as she noticed him stare at his phone screen. The bar was dark with colorful lights here and there, packed with people and he was more interested on his phone. She’s done everything she can to get him to notice her but it feels like she keeps falling shorts. He talks to her, close to flirting but never all the way, yet she can’t tell how he feels. Well, no, she can tell he’s thinking about something else but everyone tells her he’s single. She remembers seeing you at Taehyung’s last weekend, it was the most interested he looked in anything but the two of aren’t… dating [?] so what was his deal?

“What?” He turned with surprise written on his face. Sera was blunt and it caught him off guard.

“Well, I think you’re hot and I want to get to know you but I don’t know where your head is at,” Sera said loudly over the music. He was flattered but…

“You actually came!” Taehyung greeted you warmly, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug as you found him and the others. You hugged him back and looked at everyone, not remembering him mentioning any of the other women here—or the one Jungkook was talking to.

“Y/n,” Yoongi said hello, “Do you want a drink?”

“Um…”

“I uh,” Jungkook blinked in disbelief as he looked at you just a few feet away from him. He didn’t know you’d be here, how? “It’s complicated.”

He tried to sit there and focus on Sera but it was hard. He didn’t want to just ditch the girl out of the blue but you haven’t spared him a single glance. It’s like you’re here for his friends but not for him and he didn’t like that. You’re supposed to be his friend not theirs.

You stood back, nervous to greet him. You barely know the girl but what if it’s someone he’s interested in? What if you’re just supposed to be someone he calls when he’s bored and flirts with when no one’s around? What if you’ve read too much into it and let your feelings get involved? You debated approaching him or not especially considering how he left you alone in bed after pushing you away from a kiss. Was it a mistake coming here? What’d you even hope could happen?

“Jungkook,” You waved, hoping you didn’t sound too nervous or bothered while also not sounding too enthusiastic in case that was a girl he was after. You just needed to sound friendly. That’s it.

Sera looked between you with peaked curiosity. She’d notice his attention had left her a while ago but now she sees why. Jungkook didn’t bother looking back at her as he stood up, making his way over to where you stood.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” He said shifting his eyes around, “Who invited you?”

“I can’t hang around your friends anymore?” You asked bluntly, “What do you mean who invited me?”

“I just… I didn’t kno—should we get a drink?” His voice shook with anxiety as his hand slipped down your back to lead you to the bar. He wasn’t doing anything wrong talking to Sera but for some reason he didn’t want the two of you around each other—especially after she just told him she was interested.

“I’ll probably leave, I don’t want to be somewhere I’m not wanted,” You said bitterly, trying to step away from him but he didn’t let you get far from his arms.

“I want you here, of course I do. I just wanted to know who texted you,” Jungkook told you looking at his friends and the only one that was smiling, “Taehyung?”

“Yeah, he asked me to come but if it’s going to be a problem I’ll just leave,” You kept saying.

“Why would it be a problem? I’ve been meaning to text you but—yknow, um,” Jungkook cleared his throat awkwardly, leading you away from the group. It’s not that he didn’t want you around them but he was only comfortable with you right now. He didn’t need everyone hearing him.

“Alright, you don’t have to explain it,” You brushed him off, turning to the bar and debating if you wanted a drink or not. You weren’t in the mood to but now that you’ve seen Jungkook with another girl, you might.

“Kook, Y/n, want a shot?” Taehyung asked, trying to get you both to go back with everyone.

“I’m driving,” Jungkook said. He had a small sip earlier but he’s not here to drink all night then get stuck Ubering--especially not now that you’re here. What if you go home with him [he means take you home].

“Y/n?” He turned to you only and you contemplated. Jungkook bit his lip in thought, tempted to say no on your behalf but he wanted to know what you’d do. Taehyung invited you tonight and last weekend too, why? He’s happy you’re here but why is Taehyung the one making a move?

“I’m good, I’ll get something else,” You lied, turning away from the group. Part of you wanted to leave then and there but Jimin dropped you off and you’d need to call him back.

Jungkook didn’t hesitate to follow you to the bar but you didn’t try and order anything. He even asked if you wanted something but you didn’t, “Jungkook just be honest, should I leave? I know you said you want me here but I don’t know… if you wanna hang out with your friends or, yknow, other girls I don’t want them to get the wrong idea. I just came because I wanted to talk but… I don’t know.”

“Is it because of Sera? Y/n, I don’t like her or anything. I want you here, I’m sorry for not inviting you,” Jungkook tried to reassure you but you weren’t really listening.

“This isn’t about her, it’s you. You’re the one being confusing, Kook,” You admitted.

“Me?” He looked genuinely taken back, “How?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest as a shield between you knowing he’d try and pull you closer like he usually did. You weren’t the type to argue with someone in public but you were a little annoyed.

“Are we friends? Because if we are don’t try and kiss me then ignore me for days and go out with someone else—“

“Are you serious right now?” He asked, “That’s what you’re mad about? You’ve been doing that to me for the past few weeks with your friend Namjoon.”

“What? That’s not true, I’ve told you every time I was gonna hang out with him. You only call me when you think I’m with someone else,” You told him bitterly.

“You don’t honestly believe that. I call you more than you bother reaching out to me. You only call me when you need a ride or you’re drunk and bored,” Jungkook said, standing a foot away from you so you could hear him better, “You flirt with me and I think there’s something there but then you brush me off or go with someone else. I’ve been trying to make things more clear but you make it so hard.”

“I make it hard?“ Your jaw nearly dropped, “Alright this is stupid. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

He knows what you’re doing and he doesn’t want to play along. Any time the two of you talk about something a little too complicated you start to backtrack in order to avoid it. No, if you wanted him to be honest you had to let him. After the first night you almost kissed, you didn’t message him for a couple days. He’s the one who reach out to you. This time around he’s the one that left because Namjoon was on your phone and he didn’t know what to make of it. He should’ve asked if anything was serious between the two of you but he was too cowardly to do it and left instead. Maybe you were mad he didn’t reach out but why didn’t you try? Yes, you came here hopefully looking for him but the second you see him talking to someone else and confront him about it suddenly you’re shutting down?

Who’s leading who on?

Yoongi saw most of your interaction from across the bar. You weren’t full on arguing but it’s obvious the two of you had things you wanted to say but didn’t know how. After a while he didn’t want to just sit back and ignore it. He at least wanted to know if you were both alright.

When he made his way over he tried asking you again if you wanted a drink or if Jungkook wanted to join him outside. You took that as a sign to make an escape for a moment and rushed to say, “I’m going to the restroom.”

Jungkook was stuck between following and waiting for you or going with Yoongi but his hand trembled with nerves and he needed fresh air. His friend offered him a smoke and he took it reluctantly knowing you’d hate the smell of it on him. Even when he’s sort of upset with you he can’t make himself do something you don’t like.

“What are you guys fighting about?” Yoongi asked taking the cigarette Jungkook rejected and lit one for himself.

“It’s stupid,” Jungkook mumbled under his breath.

“Clearly not when you look worked up,” Yoongi said, “Tell me.”

“There’s been a couple times that we almost kissed and I thought she was talking to someone else but now she’s acting upset with me and I don’t know why. I’m not doing anything, the other night we almost kissed again but I couldn’t bring myself to do it and then the guy texts her. I didn’t know Taehyung asked her to come and now she thinks I don’t want her here and probably thinks I’m into Sera but I’m not,” Jungkook began to let it all out, hands running through his hair nervously.

Yoongi couldn’t hide the look of surprise on his face over the fact that you guys had never kissed before. It was sort of a running joke between all of them that you’re both secretly hooking up but it appears not to be the case. You both had been good friends until then and all the bottled up emotions are finally begging to be let out. It made him chuckle over how dumb it was.

“Did you bother to ask her about him? Actually ask and not make assumptions like you always do?” Yoongi asked, “Because honestly, I think you’re both into each other and don’t know what to do about it.”

“You don’t get it hyung, I can’t just ask Y/n that…” Jungkook groaned with frustration, “I’m being so pathetic, aren’t I?”

“A little. You pay for a parking spot specifically for Y/n and she’s not even your girlfriend. You want her to be so just talk it out.”

“I’m gonna talk to her,” Jungkook bit his lip, watching Yoongi finish up and ask him if we was ready to go back in. When he did, you were standing there talking to Sera and he wasn’t sure what it could be about.

Honestly, it was nothing to worry about. She saw you looking clueless after your restroom break and introduced herself as one of Yoongi’s friends. Although you wanted to ask her about Jungkook she didn’t even bring him up. When he went up to you both but placed a dominant hand around your waist.

It answered what Sera already knew, that he was claimed for even if neither of you said it. His heart was with you.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked suddenly, “For the other night?”

“No, I’m confused,” You let him turn you in his arms so that you faced him, “I thought you wanted to kiss but then you stop it and when I wake up you’re gone. It’s fine if you just want to be friends but don’t lead me on like that.”

For a moment he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t think you’d say it so bluntly but you did. You’ve been thinking about those Almost Kisses you’ve shared just as much as he has. He just didn’t expect you to be thinking he was leading you on. He thought you were leading him on.

“I’m not… Can we go and talk somewhere?” He asked, trying to take your hand in his but you rejected his advance. Once again you probably looked like a couple arguing and it was so stupid.

“I just wanna go,” You told him and to keep you from leaving he pushed his keys into your hands.

“Let’s go then,” He said. You looked at him with a small smile, feeling somewhat upset with him but also unsure what to do. Part of you wanted to leave on your own but you also wanted to hear him out.

You pushed them back into his hand with a sigh, “No, you’re here with your friends, I shouldn’t have even bothered.”

“Y/n, I don’t care I wanna leave with you, let’s go,” He turned to his friends, not bothering to get closer as he began to wave, “I’m gonna call it a night guys, Y/n’s taking me home.”

“Kook,” You couldn’t help but whine. He just smiled, leading you out the club and you learned he wasn’t kidding. He really was making you take him home in his own car, hoping it’d keep you from parting ways with him tonight.

“I didn’t know it seemed like I was leading you on,” Jungkook said, almost sounding bitter at the thought of it. He slumped back in the passenger’s seat staring out at the dark city lights trying to process what you time him not too long ago.

You didn’t say anything and that made him turn to you, “You’re the one that’d ditch me for that Namjoon guy.”

“I didn’t ditch you, every single time you asked me about him and I tried telling you how it was, you’d stop me,” You reminded him, thinking back to every time he’d bring up someone else and ignore every time you told him it wasn’t anything serious, “And how was I not supposed to think you were leading me on? One second you act like you want to kiss and the next you’re pushing me away.”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong about how I acted but it was because I was jealous. You knew I was jealous I just kept acting like I wasn’t and look at where we are now. You’re mad at me,” Jungkook shook his head, “And I want to kiss you. I think about kissing you all the time and that night—those nights… I regret not doing it but sometimes I can’t read you.”

“I never know where your head’s at. One second you’re in my arms and I think there’s something between us but then you… I don’t know, I feel like you know I’ll always be around,” He admitted, looking out his window to avoid your sudden stare.

The rest of the ride was silent and though Jungkook could tell there was a lot on your mind you weren’t saying any of it. He feels more assured now knowing that you felt the same way he did but it’s like going in circles talking about this. He just wants to get you in his arms and act like you both haven’t made it more complicated than it needs to be.

When you parked his car in the lot of his apartment, you turned the engine off and turned to face him, confused on what to do now. Do you sleep over or get yourself a ride home? Jungkook had pushed his seat back to get more comfortable but now it felt like you were farther from him than he liked. You looked back to find him already staring at you. His eyes fell to the way you nervously licked your lips and he couldn’t take it anymore.

The sound of his belt unbuckling caught you off guard you almost missed how he leant forward so suddenly you nearly pulled back. His lips collided with yours with such need that you met with equal eagerness. He slipped his hand down your hair toward your neckline keeping you from pulling back. Jungkook doesn’t know how to describe the kiss.

It was good, better than he imagined but was it the kiss or just you? Was it the fact that was finally getting a taste of you? You leaned forward, bumping into the middle console to kiss him a little harder, tongues meeting in a wet, tender way that had you gasping lightly. If this was what was on your mind for so long, you now knew why. Kissing him felt good, felt different and you didn’t want to stop.

“Inside,” He tried to say between kisses but he found it hard to pull away. The word just came out in an airy whisper, struggling to find sound.

He pulled back with a small groan, hand in your hair and forehead pressed against yours as he tried to catch his breath, “Let’s go inside, please?”

Your small nod was enough for him to storm out of the car, rounding to your side and helping you out of the car, leading you up. Up the stairs he stopped every now and then to plant a small kiss on your shoulder or neck, arms around your waist.

“Don’t like when you’re mad at me,” Jungkook said, unlocking his door and taking you in, “And I was jealous about Namjoon, so stupidly jealous because he texted you and I saw it on your phone an—“

“There’s nothing going on between us,” You assured him, “And I was never mad at you. I thought you didn’t want me—“

“Crazy, you’re crazy to think that,” Jungkook cupped your face in his hands, “You’re the only one I want and I’m sorry I didn’t make it more clear.”

You smiled, arms around his neck as he hoisted you up so he could kiss you better and walk toward his living room, “Me too.”

He carried you to the couch, taking a seat and pulling you onto his lap with ease. You didn’t hesitate to make yourself comfortable, leaning down to kiss him as his hands moved up your waist. He let you take the lead for a little bit, head tilted to the side when you kissed near his ear making a small smile appear on his face. His ears were sensitive and everyone knew that. Whenever you tried whispering something in his ear, he’d practically have to shove you away or it’d make goosebumps form on his skin. Now you’re kissing up his ear lobe and he was sinking into the couch pulling you with him.

A light frown left his lips when he felt you nip at his lobe with your teeth and his head fell forward, nearly bumping your shoulder making him tug on your neckline to kiss your exposed collarbone. You lifted his chin with a light finger touch and met him with a kiss. His hands slipped under your top, feeling along your smile like he’s done before. He likes to feel how warm you are under his fingertips, like to feel your natural curves. You liked the way his rough hands felt against your sides when he ran his hands up, nearly touching your chest before tracing them back down.

Jungkook couldn’t hide his growing erection when you pressed down against his lap. It didn’t help that you were licking along his bottom lip tugging on it with your teeth until you were tongue kissing. He sat straighter, hands itching to rip your top off. He’s seen you in sultry outfits that made his head turn everytime and he’s interested to see what was under.

“Kook,” You sighed softly, pulling away from the sloppy kiss to catch your breath. Your lips felt number and swollen and his did too. He was so damn kissable and you can’t believe you haven’t done this yet. What were you so worried about all this time? He looked at you with these spark in his eyes and lip between his teeth, hands around your waist and bulge pressed against you. You looked down at his lap, shifting back a little before grinding forward again. A deep groan caught in his throat when you did it and he looked at you hopefully.

“You’re so hot,” Your hands ran along his lean shoulders down toward the bottom of his shirts and helped you yank it off of him without a second thought. You’ve seen him shirtless countless of times, in person and on the phone. You’ve felt his body when he’s rolled over in his sleep to cuddle and it doesn’t ever leave your mind how attractive your friend is. You remember when he first started getting his tattoos done and when he first started boxing. He got so much stronger and his tattoos just got so much hotter.

You leaned forward, kissing softly against his neck, hands feeling up his abs and hip bucking into him. His hands guided your hips against him, hard dick feeling constricted in his jeans and when you kissed near his pecs he released a light moan.

“Stop, you’re going to drive me insane if you don’t,” He groaned, hands pulling on your top.

“You want me stop?” You asked, grinding down on him. You were starting to feel needy and aroused. If he wanted you to stop, maybe you should before you take it too far.

“No,” Jungkook finally yanked your top off you, catching your lips with his, tongue searching the inside of your mouth, “Don’t want you to.”

His hands wandered south, inching up the small fitted skirt you wore tonight. Last time he saw you in something revealing was when you’d gone off to see Namjoon wearing a dress. He remembered eyeing you closely wishing you weren’t leaving and wondering if you’d dressed up for someone else. Now you’re grinding down on him with your skirt bunch around your hips, bucking into him with a thin pair of panties on and it drove him insane. His jeans were in the way of letting him feel your head against him and he couldn’t take it. A small squeal left your lips when he swiftly turned you to lie on the couch, trapped underneath him with your legs around his waist.

Jungkook kept his hardened dick in his pants, pressed between your spread legs as he kissed down your neck, leaving love bites behind while his hands began to trace your sides. You breathed heavily in anticipation when he tugged your bra down exposing your breasts over the cups and he didn’t hesitate to keep going. His touch was eager as he licked between them, cupping your right boob with his hand while kissing the other. He sucked your hardened nipple into his, humping his erection against your clit. You released a small moan when he ran his tongue around your bud, lost in himself Jungkook groaned when you pulled on his hair softly.

You snuck a hand between your bodies and reached for his belt. The jeans felt rough against your wet panties but it also felt good to have something to bump into. In all honesty, you liked grinding against him but you need more.

Now.

Jungkook lifted his body up slightly, not bothering to break away from worshiping you in kisses and helped you unbuckle his belt.

“You want it?” Jungkook asked in a husky whisper, throat sore and lust in his eyes. You nodded your head watching him sit back on his haunches, using his skilled fingers to undo it the rest of the way and tug the zipper down. He kicked them off without much or a care for the things on his coffee table and with his other hand, he held your hips, “Say it.”

A soft whine left your lips as you got the hint and turned onto your stomach, your head so close to the armrest of the couch and knees digging into the cushion below you. You’ve been in this living room a hundred times but never thought you’d be in this position. He pulled your panties down with ease, not bothering with the skirt as he pulled it up so it was around your waist and gave him a perfect view of what you looked like bent over. He couldn’t help but place a hand on the round of your ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh with his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

Jungkook was pathetically desperate for you and couldn’t find it in himself to pull away enough to pull his briefs all the way down. Instead, he lowered them enough for his hard cock to spring free. You hadn’t said anything yet, seemingly stuck in a lust filled daze, arms using the side of the couch for support. He could see the slick lining your pretty cunt and he needed to be closer. He lined his member up with your files, grinding against you and feeling your wetness coat his member in arousal.

You released a moan, arching your back into the couch and ass back on him, “I want it.”

His cock twitched with need when you said it in your usual whiny tone. The tone you use when you call him late at night because you’re bored or annoyed with him. Jungkook nodded his head even though you couldn’t see him, he used a hand on your hips and the other in his length to catch the small hook of your entrance. You were so unbelievably wet that his dick was covered, it made guiding the tip of his cock against your wet pussy better.

“You’re so wet, baby, fuck,” Jungkook groaned, palming your ass as you waited so prettily for him to just fuck you already.

He can tell you were getting impatient by the way you shook your hips side to side and he couldn’t help but smile. Feeling warmth burst through his chest he leant over your body, resting his arm next to yours and kissed your neck. Without another word, he pressed his face against your hair and thrusted forward. With just the first thrust, you felt the stretch of your walls around his girth. It hurt for only a few seconds as you took him in and you lifted your head, stopped by how Jungkook hugged you from behind.

“Oh,” You gasped turning your head to look at him and he caught your open lips with a tongue kiss that made you relax against him. It took him a moment before he pushed the rest of his length into your tight pussy with a grunt.

Once he felt you relax, he tried to sit back, thrusting into you with care trying to adjust. You pushed back against his length, meeting his thrusts until you caught a steady rhythm and Jungkook’s fingers dug into your hips, watching the way you looked as he fucked you from behind in his living room. You felt so good to him. Your walls tightened around him deliciously making his head tip back losing himself to the feeling. “Right there.”

At this angle with your back down and ass up, his dick felt your innermost walls clench, he felt the curve of your pelvis and your butt felt soft.

“Fuck,” your head fell against the arm rest trying to keep up with your pace but he was bigger than you ever could’ve thought of. You’ve felt a hint of it before but to have him inside you making your body shiver with need it was hard to focus on your movements. Jungkook could feel you slow down as you felt the pleasure build up inside you. It brought him back to attention and with more assertive energy, he placed a hand on your ass and the other on your lower back, making sure you stayed in position so he could fuck you.

Your jaw dropped when his strokes changed making him reach deeper inside you. This position always made you feel dirty in a good way and left you a moaning mess, letting him slam his hips into you. Swear beaded his forehead, fucking you chasing his and your pleasure.

“So good, so fucking good,” He groaned, arm circling around your waist and lowering more of his hips into you. The tip of his cock hit that good spot deep inside that made you want to clench your eyes shut.

“Koo,” You tried to get out more of his name but it was harder to hold yourself together, fucking back onto his dick with eagerness, needy whimpers leaving your lips. You pushed against the armrest trying to stand up a little, itching to be closer to him.

You didn’t even need to tell him anything, he pulled your back against his chest until your were nearly sitting back on his dick, grinding against him, taking every inch he gave you. He placed a hand on your navel, keeping you flush to his body, dropping needy kisses on your neck knowing it’d leave love bites in their wake.

Your orgasm began to build up inside you, so close to popping and it made you a little more pliant to take whatever he gave you. You fucked yourself back onto him while his other hand groped your tits, listening to his whispers of need in your ear telling you how good you’re taking it.

“Just like that, cum for me,” Jungkook said with a deep rasp to his usual delicate tone. It’s like he wanted to walk you through it and fuck, it was working.

The moment your cunt clamped down around his dick leaving him to hiss through gritted teeth, he knew you were going to cum. He let you fuck yourself to release, whining in his arms and legs shaking as he held you up.

He slowed his hips, keeping himself to the hilt inside you feeling the way your orgasm made your body tremble for him. Your pussy was dripping around his length and he was tracing soothing lines against your spine as you fell back to the couch trying to catch your breath, “Good girl.”

His words had a clear effect on you still as your pussy twitched, making him smile. He never took you as the type to like pet names but he knew you liked to be praised. Well, he knew you hated being scolded but usually you listened to him when he did. Now he knows praising you feels a lot better.

Jungkook sucked in a tight breath as he began to pull out his aching member, worried you’d be feel uncomfortable right now. The need to cum was so heavily set into his body but he wasn’t stupid. He knew he wasn’t wearing any protection and though there’s a chance you’re taking anything, he wasn’t going to risk losing himself inside you. A little whine left your lips as he slipped out and you couldn’t help but look back at him with furrowed brows.

“You good?” He asked with concern, caressing your side lovingly. You didn’t say anything, turning to sit up and wrap your arms around him. He groaned when you rubbed against his cock on accident and you looked down at it immediately.

He caught your stare and smiled, “Can we finish this somewhere else? The couch is a little too small…”

You laughed, “There’s more?”

You were teasing him and you both knew it which only made him roll his eyes playfully. With a swift move, he lifted you up, carrying you to the bathroom catching you by surprise, “You didn’t think we were done yet did you? What about me?”

✮

A MONTH LATER

“You guys are so bad at hiding it,” Mirae said as she sat in the packed booth of your friends, all watching you hold hands under the table. You looked at her with feigned innocence, shoving Junhkook’s hand off your thigh.

“Hiding what?” You asked, looking at everyone around. Taehyung sat on one end, Yoongi next to him, Jimin there and Mirae too. They all looked equally unimpressed but your act but it was somewhat funny.

Jungkook tried to hide a grin but he was so bad at it. He smiled at you warmly, “Told you.”

“It’s your fault, I bet we could’ve hid it a little longer if you didn’t smile,” You tried to say but even you didn’t believe yourself. Jungkook didn’t even bother to look guilty as he broke out in a laugh. Yoongi chuckled, looking at the way Jungkook’s cheeks flushed red when you looked at him a little too long.

“I knew the second Y/n stopped coming to work all moody because she wasn’t talking to Jungkook,” Jimin pointed out and Mirae agreed quickly.

Hoseok sighed, “I knew when Jungkook stopped giving me killer workouts at the gym. I almost broke my shoulder.”

“Whoa, I’m a great personal trainer,” Jungkook put a hand to his chest, “Don’t come at my profession.”

“I’m not, I’m pointing out the fact that you were always moodier when you didn’t see Y/n,” Hoseok argued.

Jungkook couldn’t even deny it so he didn’t try. Instead he place his hand back down on your thigh and leaned into you to share the dinner menu, “Are you gonna try something new? You’re picky.”

“I might want to expand my horizons,” You looked over everything with a concentrated expression.

He raised an amused brow at you, surprised when the server came around and you actually did try something new. He let the others go before him and when it came to being his turn, he ordered your usual.

“Are you switching it up too?” The server asked, all too familiar with the two of you and your eating preferences.

“It’s in case she doesn’t like it,” He admitted with a sly wink in your direction. You hit his arm playfully and turned toward your friends who glared at you grossly.

“I’m losing my appetite,” Jimin teased, looking at Mirae as she texted away on her phone, “You?”

“Kinda, I don’t know, Jisoo just asked what I’m doing,” Mirae said.

Jungkook looked up with slight interest. He tried not to be the jealous type but… Jisoo is friends with Namjoon. He’s met the guy now and he’s not that bad but he’s also way taller than him with a bulkier physique.

“What is he doing? Tell him and his friends join us,” Jungkook said suddenly making her furrow her brows at him.

“He wants to see Namjoon again, I think he’s got a little crush on him,” You told her, making him shrug.

“The guy is built,” he said, “I just wanna know what pre-workout he takes.”

“And to think you spent all this time not liking him because you didn’t like Y/n talking to him,” Taehyung said, feeling the need to bring up the awkward part. You glared at him but he only smiled mischievously.

“Hey, let’s move on from that,” You said leaning against Jungkook who pulled you closer, “We’re all just friends.”

“Except you two, so can you just say you’re dating already and we can go on with the usual?” Yoongi asked impatiently.

“I thought you said we were bad at hiding it,” your boyfriend sat up, pulling you into his arms giving you a tight hug and looked at his friends, “But fine, this is my best friend and girlfriend.”

“Whoa, I thought I was your best friend now. Y/n can’t have both titles,” Taehyung scoffed, sitting up, “I practically brought you two together. I mean yeah I was fucked up that first night but once I caught on I was the one always inviting Y/n over.”

“I’m the one who told Jungkook to get his head out of the gutters and talk to Y/n,” Yoongi said with a raised finger to state a point.

“Not to join in on the fight but… I also tried getting Y/n to talk about Jungkook and drove her to JJ’s the other night,” Jimin leaned forward to say and suddenly they were all arguing over who brought the two of you together.

It was stupid but friendly and it made you laugh with amusement.

“I’m not the jealous type, right?” Jungkook asked you as he thought about what Taehyung said earlier instead of their current banter, “I didn’t care that you talked to Namjoon… I just, y'know I didn’t want you to like him, there’s a difference.”

His face looked confused in a surprisingly cute way for your motorcycle riding, tattoo covered boyfriend and it made you smile. “Of course you’re not the jealous type.”

Jungkook smiled back warmly, leaning into you for a quick kiss.

When your food arrived you regretted ordering it just like he knew you would and he switched you plates like he knew he would. Aside from the obvious displays of affection nothing else changed for the two of you. Or at least you don’t think it did.

He still came over whenever he felt like it and you bothered him at any hour of the day. When he wasn’t sleeping in your bed trying to keep you from going to work he was checking his phone for a text from you throughout the day.

You’re not sure if it’s because he was your friend first but your relationship with Jungkook was a perfect mix of love and affection with ease and playfulness.

Your best friend was the one for you and he’d been right in front of you the whole time.

::.

NO PART TWO

two fics in two months??? who do I think I am 😜

honestly I kinda liked this friendly little vibe. I wanted more angst but idkkk. they kinda gave toxic but not like super hide red flag toxic. they’re in their twenties yall 😭

I’m preparing for this angsty yandere fic for Taehyung so I wanted to something a little softer, slice of life vibe

anyways like always, love feedback so tell me what you think!

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[chillinglyadventurous]

Spooktober Day 5 - “Was that a scream?"

You were down in Ford’s lab helping him with a new type of gadget that would be helpful in tracking anomalous activity when Dipper and Mabel had stormed into the lab. They wanted to the two of you to go monster hunting. Dipper had learned about a new cryptid called the Shadow Stalker. Ford had declined, but insisted that you go along with the kids, Wendy, and Soos. He had said it would be good for you to get some fresh air.

As you were leaving, Ford stopped you, grasping your wrist, “Call me if you need anything.” He pressed a small kiss to your temple, “That thing can get a bit wiley.” He placed a walkie talkie in your hand. “Go have fun. Be safe.”

Once night fell, the moon hung high in the sky over the dense canopy of pine trees. He fog was thick and the flashlights the gang was carrying barely cut through it. You were thankful for a cool night, unsure of how long you’d be out there or how far you would have to trudge deeper into he Gravity Falls forest. 

“So, what’s the plan again?” Wendy asked. Her voice was calm as always as she led the pack, cutting brush out of the way with her axe.

“We’re looking for the Shadow Stalker,” Dipper said matter-of-factly. He held up Journal 3 for you to see. Ford’s sketch of the thing was enough to send a chill up your spine. It was a large, humanoid creature with glowing red eyes. It almost reminded you of the hide-behind. “It’s been spotted in these woods for centuries. It’s drawn to sound and movement.

Your body stiffened, “Great.” 

Mabel gasped, startling you from her place to your right. You gripped her hand in yours to stop her from skipping ahead of the group, “Ohhhhh, spooky! I hope it’s friendly.” She reached ino her backpack and pulled out an extra sweater. She hugged it close to her chest. You knew she had knitted it that morning for this very occasion. It was made up of black yarn and the words ‘You go, Shadow Stalker!’ on the front, “Do you think i’ll like it, [Y/N]?”

“Of course, sweetie,” sure it would like it, if it didn’t eat you. You plucked the journal from Dipper’s hand, “Ford have anything in here about how dangerous this thing is?”

Dipper shrugged as he took the journal back from you, “Can’t be that bad if he let us go alone.”

You scoffed. You loved that man, but he had also given a twelve year old a crossbow before. He almost gotten his and Dipper’s brains devoured by an interdimensional math wizard. Needless to say, you immediately expected the worst. You squeezed the walkie talkie in your hand that wasn’t holding Mabel back.

One second, everything felt fine, but the next your flashlight went out. Wendy’s was next, then Soos. Finally, Dipper and Mabel’s flashlight gave out. The five of you stood in the darkened forest. You couldn’t see much in front of you despite the moon hanging overhead. You could make out the shape of the twins, reaching for both of their hands. You could see Soos’ silhouette creep closer to you before feeling his hand on your shoulder. Wendy moved closer too. 

“Oh, dudes,” Soos spoke up from right behind your ear, “not trying to freak anyone out, but the vibes of the place are way off right now.”

You nodded. The air was suddenly thick and you felt like you were being watched, “Yeah, I’m with Soos on this one. Something about this feel wrong-”

Before anyone could respond, you heard a loud crash of branches behind you. I was so loud that the five of you froze in place. Soos bumping into the back of you. You held your breath as you remembered Dipper’s words. It is attracted to sound and movement.

A loud screech filled the air then, the five of you huddled together in the middle of a moonlit clearing. Mabel hugged you around the waist. Even Dipper had clutched onto you tighter.

“Was that a scream?” Mabel whispered against your shirt.

You looked down at Dipper as he began to speak, his face pale with fear, “It didn’t sound like an animal.”

The eerie silence that followed was thick and oppressive, as if the forest itself was holding its breath. Every sound felt amplified—the rustling of leaves, the creak of branches in the wind, even the shallow breathing of your friends around you. You felt a cold bead of sweat form at the back of your neck.

“I don’t like this,” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath.

Dipper flipped through the journal faster, scanning the pages, “This is exactly where the sightings have been reported. If that noise was the Shadow Stalker, we might be too close.”

“Too close for what, exactly?” Wendy frowns, pulling out her axe. 

Dipper swallows hard, “It’s said that once you hear its call, it’s already hunting you. We need to be still and quiet. Any noise, any movement, it’ll know.”

Mabel, usually the carefree one, took a step closer to you, her eyes wide. “What if we—”

Before she could finish, another crash, even louder this time, reverberated through the trees. The sound is followed by something far more chilling. A low, drawn-out growl, deep and prima echoed from all around you, making the little hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. 

“Dudes, that’s definitely not a squirrel,” Soos muttered, inching closer to you, Wendy, and the kids.

You could feel your heart racing, your pulse thundering in your ears. ‘Ford should be here,’ you cursed, but you didn’t  say it aloud. He should have known this would happen. Lord knows he knew everything and always made sure you knew he knew everything. He should have come with you. Wiley. Yeah, that was an understatement. Instead, you reach for your walkie talkie, the one lifeline you knew you can count on. Your fingers trembled as you turned it on, “Ford, do you copy? Over.”

A few seconds pass before you hear his voice on the other side, a flash of relief washing over you, “are you okay? What happened? Over.”

“We’re too close,” you whispered. Your voice was low, but urgent, “We think it’s here. We need you. Over.”

Another brief silence followed. The rustling behind you was getting closer. You could almost hear the gears in his mind turning, “Stay right where you are.” His voice was steady and calm. He was doing his best to not freak you out with the slight shake of his voice, “I’ll be there soon. Don’t make any sudden moves and keep quiet. Turn your walkie off. Over.”

You shut the walkie off and put it into Dipper’s bag, feeling a small sense of relief knowing that Ford is on his way, but you also know it might not be fast enough. The growling sounded closer now and you swore you saw something moving in the shadows between the trees, something tall, with glowing eyes.

Wendy stepped in front of the, her axe at the ready, her stance solid, “We’re not just going to wait around to be eaten by this thing, right?”

Dipper shook his head, “No, we just need to stall until Ford gets here. We have to stay still, no running.”

The growl turned into a low hiss and then the shadow seemed to shift. Out from the darkness, a figure emerged. It’s tall, towering over you, its body thin but impossibly long, covered in what looks like shadow itself. Its glowing red eyes scanned the group. The air grew colder. The Shadow Stalker.

Every instinct was telling you to run, but you forced yourself to stay still apart from pushing Dipper and Mabel behind you. The creature’s eyes focused on Soos, shaking so hard that you can hear the rustle of his jacket.

“It’s looking for movement,” Dipper whispered, barely moving his lips. “Stay calm. Stay-”

Before Dipper could finish, Soos stumbled backward, tripping over a tree root. The sound loud, a crack of branches and a thud as he hit the ground. The Shadow Stalker snaped its head toward Soos, its eyes glowing brighter. It gave a bone-chilling screech. It moved quickly, unnaturally fast, as it closed the distance between it and Soos in an instant.

“No!” Mabel shouted, unable to hold back her panic.

Just when it seemed like the creature is about to reach Soos, a blinding flash of light burst through the trees, hitting the Shadow Stalker in the chest. The creature screeched, recoiling as if burned by the light.

“Get away from them!” Ford’s voice boomed through the clearing as he emerged from the shadows, holding a strange device that hummed with energy. His face was set with determination. His eyes focused on the creature as it stumbled backward.

“Ford!” you cried out, the relief almost overwhelming.

Ford glanced at you, his expression softening for just a moment before he turned back to the Shadow Stalker. “Stay behind me, all of you!” he commanded, his voice sharp and authoritative.

You rushed to his side, your heart still racing as you pulled everyone behind you, but the fear you were feeling eased knowing he was there. Ford tightened his grip on the device in his hands, the light from it growing stronger. The creature hissed again, retreating further, but it circled, waiting for a chance to strike. You pressed the front of your body to Ford’s back. Dipper and Mabel were pressed firmly to either side of you. Soos had his own face buried in your back and Wendy clung to him.

Dipper, still holding the journal, tugged on Ford’s trench coat with wide eyes. “How do we stop it?”

Ford kept his focus on the creature as he adjusted a dial on the device, “We don’t kill it. We contain it. I’ve been preparing for this. I just need to hold it long enough to activate the trap.”

Mabel’s voice trembled, “What if it gets out?”

Ford glanced down at her, his expression serious, “It won’t. Not if we do this right.”

The creature howled, but Ford stepped forward to leave you feeling abandoned. His device emitted a soft hum that filled the air. The Shadow Stalker screeched in response, but Ford held his ground, a confident figure against the darkness.

“Stay close to me,” Ford said softly, his hand brushing against yours as he steadied himself. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You nodded, feeling a strange sense of comfort despite the danger. You’ve always trusted Ford, but in moments like this, you realized just how deeply you rely on him. You squeeze his hand briefly before stepping back, trusting him to finish what he started.

With a swift motion, Ford slammed the device into the ground and, suddenly, the forest floor around the creature began to glow. Strange, glowing symbols arose from the earth, forming a circle around the Shadow Stalker. The creature let out one final, earsplitting screech as the symbols pulse with light, trapping it inside the glowing barrier.

Ford took a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing as the creature struggled to break free, “It’s done. It won’t be bothering anyone again.”

You let out a breath, your body finally relaxing as you threw your arms around him in thanks. Your nose was pressed firmly against his chest as you sighed with relief, “You saved us. Again.”

Ford chuckled softly as he pulled you from him. A six-fingered hand caressed your cheek, “I told you I’d always protect you.”

You both grinned when Dipper, Soos, and Wendy let out a groan of disgust. Wendy told you to ge a room. Mabel, though, laughed wildly, “Awwe, they’re so in love! How can you gus be grossed out? They're adorable.”

“So, uh, what now?” Soos asked, rubbing his arm where he fell.

Ford smiled, clamping his hand on Soos’ shoulder, “Now, we head back to the Shack. I’ll deal with this creature in the morning.”

As you all began to make your way back through the woods, you stayed close to Ford, your hand still in his. His presence was like an anchor, grounding you after that shock. It had been a while since you had a good scare, but the darkness of the forest didn’t seem as menacing anymore, not with Ford by your side.

“Next time,” he said quietly, leaning in just enough for you to hear, “you’re staying in the Shack with me.”

You laughed, the tension in your chest finally releasing, “I’ll take you up on that.”

[ohanny]

so remember how i said i'd been having ideas about a pack orgy? well.

those ideas now under the cut:

(nothing graphic but subject matter by default is somewhat nsfw)

it all starts when jeff realizes his heat is coming and is miserable about it because a) he is jeff and b) it is a miserable experience. so to soothe his instincts thus also his stupid hormones and cramps, he orders alan to build them a big “nest” in the living room (covering the floor with mattresses, and pretty much every single pillow and blanket in the house) and invites over the entire pack so they can put on some studio ghibli movies, huddle close and jeff can feel comforted by the closeness of everyone he holds dear.

except jeff might have miscalculated his cycle and underestimated the effect having his entire pack so close might have on him. so barely two movies it becomes clear his heat is a lot less pre- and a lot more actually happening right now.

everyone is like “so uh, we should probably leave you two to it” but jeff who is pretty gone already, whines like a sad puppy. he needs his pack so why is his pack trying to abandon him? sensing his distress, alan is like “no, stay” and it’s not exactly an order but also kind of is because no one is allowed to make jeff sad. and it's not a big deal. because it’s pack. when your packmate is going through their heat or rut, you help out in whatever capacity you can. that’s just how it is.

so everyone is chill about the whole heat pheromone soup and whatever bodily reactions it might cause. they are fine more or less pretending to watch the movie while alan fucks and knots jeff right there in the middle of the nest. once jeff is stuffed full and calmed down, the fussing starts. as another omega, north would curl up as close to jeff as he could. kim would worry about water and snacks and “alan, you big oaf, don’t squeeze him so tight.” jeff would be high off the feeling of it, happily purring in alan’s arms and everyone would mirror his happiness.

well. not everyone. kenta - who babe invited and kim dragged over to “socialize” - is very much not okay. kenta is freaking out.

kenta’s experiences with pack dynamics have previously been limited to “do what father says to the best of your ability or else.” in tony’s mansion going through your cycles was seen as a huge inconvenience at best and something shameful at worst. pack was a matter of forced proximity versus genuine bonding and if you got close to someone, it would be used against you. he might have tried his best with the children to offer them some kind of security but after pete left all those years ago, no one bothered to do the same for him.

also, much to his horror kenta is hard. and he’s disgusted with himself because he's in a room full of people, it's because of the pack leader’s omega and on top of all that, jeff is someone he considers to be his brother. one of those things would be enough but all three? he is totally spiraling into shame and self-hatred, inching back until he’s about to fall off the mattress, stiff and scared.

in short, he is totally bringing the vibes down, the stench of his panic spiking when he makes accidental eye contact with alan who has been looking at him. alan sighs and kenta is pretty sure this is going to be it, tensing up even more in preparation of what's to come. instead of casting him out, alan utters out a very pointed “kim” shooting a significant look in kenta’s direction and kim looks over his shoulder and goes “oh shit, on it” and means it quite literally.

because he turns around, grabs and physically pulls kenta back in and then crawls on top of him, murmuring “it’s okay, feel that?” and takes kenta’s hand, guiding it between his own legs where he is also achingly hard. “see? me too. you’re good,” he tells kenta and noses around his neck, breathing him in, “you’re really good. just relax and let me take care of you, okay?” and how could kenta say no to that? being caged in like this by kim’s everything is turning his brain to mush. when kim presses down, he arches up and oh, fuck.

for a split second he forgets where he is but then babe - who is totally being the little spoon, all wrapped up in charlie as if he was the one in heat here because of course - stretches out a hand so he can scratch the top of kenta’s head and say he’s being silly, “this is pack.”

and north will take a brief break from jeff to ninja roll to rub his cheek on kenta’s shoulder, scent marking him, and then sonic will snort and just chomp on kenta’s bicep because he totally looks like a biter and kim will playfully growl at him in a “hey, no biting what’s mine” and swat sonic’s head to which sonic will respond by snapping his teeth at kim’s fingers. north would kick sonic’s shin and tell him to “stop biting other people’s people” and sonic would fling himself at north, the two of them getting tangled up and alan’s reflexes being the only thing saving jeff from accidentally getting elbowed in the face.

that will obviously jostle the knot still connecting them and jeff will whine, grinding back in a renewed surge of sheer need and alan lives to please. and let's not pretend gremlin charlie would not take advantage of all the fertile omega pheromones mixing with babe’s own scent to go full “is mama that desperate to be bred?” on babe. and if the whole mess of kenta, kim, north and sonic gets even messier and more tangled up as the night progresses, oh well. kim is horny and kenta clearly needs way more babying than jeff does. pack is pack after all.

[charmixpower]

So I've been asked what my ideal relationship timeline is winx would be like for the canon relationships (on discord), so here it is!!!

Bloom/Sky:

This fucking relationship was a mess! Not even a mess in the way Rivusa was a mess, I mean them both imagining a kiss at the end of s1 fucking mess. Help what is wrong with them

For them I would like them to get in a relationship before the Trix try and convince Bloom that she was made by the ancestral witches (Valtor foreshadowing?) and then they break up during the Diaspro event. He gets his ass DUMPED!!! Consequences for your actions you little asshole!!!

They make up during the s1 finale and Sky is like "can we start dating again 🥺" and Bloom is like "No💙". The imagined kiss can still happen, it was so insane, you can keep it

Then s2 happens and Sky is trying so hard to be a good bf "plz take me backkk" and then hes like "I hate Avalon. I'm not even like doing this bc I want you back, that man is CREEPY. Riven agrees and we had an entire civil conversation about it. Baby plz." Bloom is not listening 💙💙💙 and then the dark Bloom thing happens and Sky fights tooth and nail to save her and they make up form like everything from s1 and s2!!! Yaya

After all that they are dating now, good for them, good for them. WAIT? WHATS GOING ON?? ITS VALTOR WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!! SKLOOM IS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR!!! God they are such a fucking mess goddamn

Riven very quickly points out that Sky was under mind control and Bloom feels bad and she goes to save him and they talk about it and they're fine mostly. They talk about it, it hurt them both but it doesn't fuck them up completely

The first movie is the same except they don't get engaged, please calm down both of you, think about this for a little longer, but they're happy and good for them

Stella/Brandon:

Literally the only thing I would change is that they are obviously in a relationship early in s1 and they DON'T break up after the reveal, even though Brandon thinks they're broken up

That's it, aside from that no notes

Musa/Riven:

The show ends after the first movie, the later seasons don't exist and can't hurt me (<- are currently hurting me)

In season one it's established that Musa and Riven met before the season and Musa remembers the interaction a better than Riven does, instead of her seeing Riven act like a dick and then suddenly liking him. She's already seen the soft side of him and she wants the "mean to everyone but me" relationship bc Musa is insane too ❤️

S1 and s2 should vibe most untouched aside from this and Riven and Musa should both acknowledge that they like each other at the beginning of s2 but don't get in a relationship bc Riven isn't emotionally ready 4 another relationship so soon after Darcy and Musa is nomral about it (she's not).

S3 except the golden Kingdom is slightly different, the worry Riven is feeling is shown over anything else. Yeah I'll keep the motorcycle thing in, Riven can't communicate and Musa has a mood disorder they're gonna get into a couple dump fights at first. That's just being mentally ill they're fine. They should like immediately make up tho, like as someone who knows people like this the apologies for being insane bc you had a mood swing or can't read social cues are like so quick

Keep the first movie but Riven doesn't have to relearn any lessons, he is simply vibing and in love with Musa and breaks out of mind control bc of his resounding guilt after being forced to hurt her

Tecna/Timmy:

TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE TO PROVE HIMSELF IN S2!!!! EVERYTHING STAYS THE SAME BUT THAT

Okay and Tecna doesn't explicitly state she doesn't want a relationship bc then it feels weird when she gets into one

But like in s2 when Tecna gets pissed at Timmy for not intentionally picking a fight he can't win that could get him killed?? She's treated as the one in the wrong and has to learn to be more chill than Timmy having to do anything, he literally wasn't in the wrong

S2 was so disrespectful to Timmy I SWEAR

Flora/Helia:

GIVE THEM MORE THAN ONE CHARACTER TRAIT!!!!!

Flora stops having a personality after this, please let her yell at people in begging you. Give Flora a character arc I'm begging you

Helia doesn't have a personality!! He has a bunch of implications and he's literally never around in s2 OR s3!! So often it's the winx and specialists except Helia!!

Let them like express different sides of their personality and give Helia more screen time, that's all I ask

I'm on my knees begging you

I can't even say anything because there's literally nothing to go off of

Take the shab stone comic and put it into the show

Aisha/Nabu:

Please imagine a world where Aisha is arranged to marry someone and that person and her love interest are two different ppl

Keep it the same except Nabu isn't her arranged partner, they meet while fighting on Andros and Nabu keeps showing up because he ran away from home and has no idea what the fuck he's doing without all his servants and he's asking Aisha for help djwbdbwjsbwnwbs

That would be MY ideal for them but if have to keep the large plot points the same I wouldn't change anything, like my problem is the inciting incident of their relationship the development itself is cute, but id want them to become official in s4 instead. Only Florelia (sane people) and Brella (soulmates) can get away with the one season romance and make it feel natural, Aisha would not get into a relationship that quickly, but that's a nitpick if anything

No other Aisha relationships exist and if they did they'd be with Roy and not Nex shut up

[starsenha]

DUET - party party yeah (chapter 5)

MORE UNDER THE CUT!!

The party at Jeonghyeon's house was in full swing by the time you arrived with Chaeryeong. The house was packed with students, the music was thumping through the walls, and the energy was electric. You found yourselves in the center pf the house, laughing and dancing as you let loose after a long, long week.

Sunoo, ever the life of the party, was already on the dance floor, busting out his best moves and making everyone around him laugh. Jeonghyeon was playing the perfect host, making sure everyone had a drink in hand and that the vibe stayed high. The night was going perfectly, and you couldn’t remember the last time you'd had this much fun.

“Yn, come dance with us!” Gaeul shouted over the music, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the dance floor.

You laughed, letting yourself be dragged along. “You don’t have to ask me twice!” you replied, joining in with your friends as you danced. You moved in sync, your movements fluid and confident, drawing the attention of everyone around you.

As you danced, you felt a sense of freedom wash over you. The week's stress melted away, replaced by the joy of being surrounded by your closest friends. You didn’t even notice Jay, Jake, and Heeseung watching you from across the room.

Jay, leaning against the wall with a drink in his hand, couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on you as you danced. There was something about the way you moved, so effortlessly and with such confidence, that both annoyed and intrigued him. Jake noticed his friend’s stare and nudged him with a smirk.

“Can’t take your eyes off her, huh?” Jake teased, raising an eyebrow.

Jay scoffed, tearing his eyes away from you. “Please. I’m just wondering how long it’ll take before she trips over her own ego.”

Heeseung chuckled, shaking his head. “You really can’t leave her alone, can you? It’s like you’re obsessed or something.”

“Obsessed?” Jay repeated, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, right. I’m just keeping an eye on the competition. Can’t let her think she’s the best at everything.”

Jake grinned, clearly enjoying the banter. “Right. Because that’s totally why you’ve been watching her all night.”

Jay ignored Jake's comment and took a sip of his drink, his eyes finding you once more. You were laughing with Chae and Gaeul, your smile bright and your energy kind of contagious. And for a moment, he found himself smiling too, despite his better judgment.

You started to make your way to Jay's friends, as they were close to the drink table. When you caught his eyes, yours narrowed but you decided to just ignore him, even if it was very hard because of his eyes tracing your every moves.

"Oh, here we go," heeseung muttered.

You stopped in front of Jay, crossing your arms over your chest. “Enjoying the show, Jay?” you asked, her tone sharp.

Jay raised an eyebrow, refusing to back down. “Just wondering how many drinks it’ll take before you embarrass yourself on the dance floor, sunshine.”

Your eyes flashed with anger. “Stop calling me that. And for your information, I’m perfectly fine, thanks.”

Jake and Heeseung exchanged glances, both of them sensing that this was about to get ugly. Jake stepped forward, trying to diffuse the tension. “Come on, guys. It’s a party. Let’s just chill, yeah?”

But you certainly weren't in the mood to let it slide, and neither was him.

“You know, Jay, it’s really sad how you can’t go five minutes without trying to bring someone else down,” you shot back, your voice laced with irritation. “What, you can’t stand the fact that someone else might actually be good at something?”

Jay’s expression darkened, and he stepped closer to you, his voice low and taunting. “What’s sad is how you think you’re the best at everything when really, you’re just as insecure as everyone else. You put on this act, but deep down, you’re scared that no one actually likes you. And guess what? You’re right.”

You felt the sting of his words hit hard, your breath catching in your throat. You tried to stay composed, but the hurt was clear in your eyes. “Shut the fuck up. You don’t know anything about me,” you said, your voice wavering slightly.

“Oh, I know enough,” Jay continued, ignoring the warning looks from Jake and Heeseung. “You’re just a little girl who’s desperate for attention, and when you don’t get it, you throw a tantrum. It’s pathetic, really.”

“That’s enough, Jay,” Heeseung interjected, stepping forward, but Jay didn’t stop.

Your heart pounded in your chest, the room suddenly feeling too small, too crowded. The words cut deeper than you expected, and you could feel the tears starting to well up, but you refused to let them fall in front of him. Over your dead body. “You’re such a jerk,” you spat, barely holding it together.

“I’d rather be a jerk than a fake,” Jay shot back, his voice dripping with venom.

That was the final straw. You couldn’t take it anymore. With a quick, sharp breath, you turned on your heel and stormed out of the room, pushing past the crowd of partygoers who were oblivious to the tension that had just exploded.

“Yn, wait!” Chaeryeong called out, rushing after you. Gaeul followed close behind, both of them trying to catch up to her friend.

But you didn’t stop. You burst through the front door, the cool night air hitting your face as you hurried down the steps and onto the sidewalk. The tears she had been holding back finally spilled over, and you wiped them away furiously, not wanting anyone to see you like this.

“Yn, stop!” Gaeul’s voice called from behind you. “Please, just wait!”

Chaeryeong reached you first, grabbing your arm gently. “Yn, don’t let him get to you. He’s just being a jerk.”

You yanked your arm and started to walk thorugh the streets. Chaeryeong and gaeul knew better than to follow you. They knew you needed some time alone. With a sigh, they went back inside.

Back inside the house, Jay stood where you had left him, his fists clenched at his sides, his expression a mix of anger and regret. Jake and Heeseung were staring at him, clearly not impressed.

“That was way out of line, man,” Jake said, shaking his head. “What the hell was that about?”

Jay didn’t answer, his eyes still fixed on the spot where you had been standing moments before. He felt a pang of guilt, but it was buried under layers of frustration and confusion.

“Seriously, Jay,” Heeseung added, his tone more serious than usual. “You need to fix this. That was too far, even for you.”

Jay finally tore his gaze away, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit that they were right. “She just… she gets under my skin,” he muttered, but it sounded weak even to his own ears.

Jake sighed, crossing his arms. “Yeah, well, congratulations. You just got under hers too. And not in a good way.”

Jay didn’t know what to say. All he knew was that the satisfaction he usually felt after winning an argument was missing, replaced by a gnawing sense of regret that he couldn’t shake.

Sunghoon had been outside grabbing some air on the balcony when he decided to head back to the party, ready to rejoin the fun. As he stepped into the living room, he noticed that the energy had shifted a little. The room felt heavier, the buzz of laughter and music replaced by hushed conversations and a few worried glances.

He scanned the room, his eyes quickly finding Chaeryeong and Gaeul huddled together near the entrance to the kitchen. But something was off—you weren't with them. Sunghoon’s gut twisted with concern as he approached them.

“Where’s Yn?” Sunghoon asked, his tone immediately serious. He could see the worry in Chaeryeong and Gaeul’s eyes, which only heightened his concern.

Gaeul bit her lip, looking hesitant to answer. “She… she left,” she finally said, her voice soft.

Sunghoon’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean, she left? What happened?”

Chaeryeong sighed, crossing her arms as she tried to find the right words. “Jay happened,” she said, her tone laced with anger. “They got into a fight. A really bad one. Jay was being his usual jerk self, but this time he went too far.”

Gaeul nodded, her expression pained. “He said some awful things to her, Sunghoon. Things that really hurt her. She tried to stay strong, but… she couldn’t. She stormed out of here crying, and we couldn’t stop her.”

Sunghoon’s eyes darkened, his jaw clenching as the anger started to boil inside him. “Where did she go?”

“She didn’t say,” Chaeryeong replied, shaking her head. “We tried to get her to stay, but she just… she needed to get away.”

Sunghoon’s fists clenched at his sides, the rage building. “And where’s Jay now?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Gaeul’s eyes widened slightly at his tone, and she quickly pointed toward the other side of the room. “Over there, by the bar with Jake and Hee.”

Without another word, Sunghoon turned on his heel and marched towards the bar area, his expression set in a hard, determined line. Chaeryeong and Gaeul exchanged worried glances, knowing that whatever was about to happen wouldn’t end well.

Sunghoon spotted Jay leaning against the counter, a drink in hand, looking far too casual given the situation. Jake and Heeseung were standing nearby, their expressions more somber, but Jay seemed almost unfazed by what had just gone down. It only fueled Sunghoon’s anger.

“Jay!” Sunghoon’s voice cut through the noise of the party, sharp and commanding.

Jay looked up, his usual smirk fading slightly when he saw the fury in Sunghoon’s eyes. “What do you want?” Jay asked, though his voice lacked its usual bravado.

“What the hell did you say to yn?” Sunghoon demanded, stepping closer, his voice low but filled with barely restrained rage.

Jake and Heeseung immediately tensed, sensing the impending confrontation. “Sunghoon, let’s not do this here,” Jake tried to intervene, but Sunghoon ignored him, his eyes locked on Jay.

Jay, sensing the challenge, straightened up, his own irritation starting to bubble to the surface. “I told her the truth,” he replied coldly. “She needed to hear it.” he regretted what he said, but he wasn't about to admit that, and certainly not to Sunghoon out of all people.

Sunghoon’s hands curled into fists, his knuckles turning white. “The truth? What truth? That she’s a better person than you’ll ever be? That she’s got more talent and heart in her little finger than you do in your whole body?”

Jay’s eyes narrowed, the tension between them escalating rapidly. “You think she’s so perfect? She’s just as flawed as the rest of us. She’s not some saint, Sunghoon. And maybe it’s time she realized that.”

Sunghoon’s control snapped. “You had no right to say those things to her!” he shouted, his voice ringing out over the music. “You don’t get to tear her down just because you can’t handle your own fucking insecurities!”

Jay’s own temper flared in response, and he stepped forward, closing the distance between them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Sunghoon. You’re just pissed because you’ve got a crush on her, and she doesn’t even see you that way.”

Sunghoon’s eyes flashed dangerously, and he shoved Jay hard in the chest, causing him to stumble back. “Don’t you dare bring her into this like that. You crossed a line tonight, and if you ever hurt her again, I swear—”

Jay recovered quickly, shoving Sunghoon back just as hard. “Or what? You’re going to protect her from the big bad world? Grow up, Sunghoon. She doesn’t need you to fight her battles.”

The tension between them had reached a boiling point, and it was clear that the situation was seconds away from turning physical. Jake and Heeseung quickly stepped in, grabbing both Jay and Sunghoon by the shoulders to hold them back.

"Guys, stop!” Heeseung barked, pushing Jay back a few steps. “This isn’t solving anything!”

Jake held Sunghoon back, his grip firm but not aggressive. “Hoon, calm down. You’re not helping Yn by getting into a fight with him.”

But Sunghoon was far from calm. His chest heaved with anger, his eyes still locked on Jay. “I don’t care what you think,” he spat, “but if you ever say anything like that to her again, you’re going to regret it.”

Jay glared back, but there was a flicker of something—maybe guilt or doubt—in his eyes. He didn’t respond, but his posture remained tense, ready for whatever came next.

Before the situation could escalate further, Jeonghyeon appeared, having noticed the commotion. “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded, looking between the two of them.

Jake and Heeseung quickly explained, keeping their grips on Jay and Sunghoon. “Just a misunderstanding,” Jake said, trying to downplay the situation.

“Misunderstanding, my ass,” Sunghoon muttered, still seething. “Jay pushed Yn too far, and now she’s gone.”

Jeonghyeon’s expression darkened as he turned to Jay. “You did what?”

Jay didn’t answer, his jaw clenched tightly.

“Okay, stop,” Jeonghyeon said firmly. “This ends here. No more fighting in my house.”

Sunghoon reluctantly stepped back, but the anger in his eyes hadn’t faded. “This isn’t over, Jay,” he warned before turning to leave.

Jake and Heeseung released Jay, who didn’t say anything as Sunghoon stormed out of the house.

“Someone go after him,” Jeonghyeon said, rubbing his temples. “Make sure he’s okay.”

But Sunghoon was already out the door, his mind set on finding Yn. He couldn’t believe she had to go through that alone, and he cursed himself for not being there when she needed him. He ran down the street, searching for any sign of her, his heart pounding with a mix of anger and worry.

You sat on a cold bench just a few blocks away from Jeonghyeon’s house, your heart heavy and your mind swirling with everything that had happened. You wiped your cheeks, but the tears kept coming, hot and relentless. You hugged your knees to her chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible, hoping to disappear into the night.

It wasn’t like you to let things get to you like this, but Jay’s words had cut deep. You felt so fucking stupid for letting him hurt you, for caring about what he thought at all. And now, here you were, crying alone on a bench instead of having fun with your friends.

You sniffled, rubbing your eyes with the back of her hand, when you heard footsteps approaching. You quickly tried to compose yourself, not wanting anyone to see you like this. But as the figure came into view, you recognized the familiar face.

It was Jungwon, casually making his way to the party, clearly unaware of the drama that had unfolded earlier. He had a slight bounce in his step, probably looking forward to joining his friends, but as he got closer, he noticed someone sitting on the bench.

“Yn?” Jungwon called out, his voice filled with concern as he approached you. “What are you doing out here?”

You quickly wiped your eyes again, trying to hide the evidence of your tears. “Jungwon? What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be late.”

Jungwon stopped in front of you, his cheerful expression faltering when he noticed the puffiness around your eyes and the redness of your cheeks. “I, uh, was helping my sister with something, but… what happened? Yn, have you been crying?”

You shook her head, attempting to laugh it off. “No, I’m fine. I just… needed some air.”

Jungwon wasn’t convinced. He crouched down in front of you, gently placing a hand on your knee. “Yn, you can tell me. What’s going on? Did something happen at the party?”

You looked away, not wanting to burden him with your problems, but the concern in his voice made you feel safe, like you didn’t have to pretend everything was okay. “It’s nothing, really. Just… a stupid fight with Jay. It got a little out of hand.”

Jungwon’s expression softened with understanding, but there was a flicker of anger in his eyes at the mention of Jay. “Again? What did he say to you?”

You hesitated, biting your lip as you tried to find the words. “He… he said some things that hurt. I… I just couldn’t take it. So I left. I know he’s just… I know he’s just being Jay, but it still hurts, you know?"

Jungwon’s eyes softened even more, and he gently reached out to tilt your chin up so you would look at him. “Hey, listen to me. You are not worthless. Not even close. Jay’s just an idiot who doesn’t know how to deal with his own issues, so he takes it out on others. But you’re incredible, Yn. And if he can’t see that, then that’s his loss.”

You looked into his eyes, finding comfort in the sincerity you saw there. “Thanks, wonnie. I don’t know why I let him get to me like this. I should have just ignored him.”

“It’s okay to feel hurt, Yn,” Jungwon replied, his voice gentle. “You’re only human. And it’s okay to cry, too, even though it kinda breaks my heart to see you like this.”

You managed a small smile, appreciating his kindness. “You’re really sweet, you know that?”

Jungwon grinned, glad to see your smile, even if it was just a little. “I try. But you know, even though you’re crying and upset, you still look really pretty.”

You let out a small laugh, despite herself. “Now you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

Jungwon shook his head, his grin widening. “Nope. It’s the truth. You’re always pretty—happy, sad, angry, whatever. You could be yelling at me, and I’d still think you look stunning.”

You laughed again, this time a little more genuinely, feeling some of the weight lift from your shoulders. “You’re too much, won.”

“Maybe, but if it makes you smile, then I’m doing my job,” Jungwon said, sitting down beside you on the bench. “Now, how about we sit here for a bit, and then we’ll head back to the party together?"

"I'd like that," you nodded slightly, a small smile on your lips.

You and Jungwon sat on the bench for what felt like hours, just talking. The cool night air was crisp, but with Jungwon’s jacket draped over your shoulders, you felt warm and comforted. You talked about everything and nothing—about childhood memories, embarrassing moments at school, your favorite songs, and how Jungwon secretly had a soft spot for cheesy rom-coms.

“I still can’t believe you like those kinds of movies,” you teased. “You always seemed so… I don’t know, serious.”

Jungwon chuckled, shrugging. “Hey, everyone’s got their guilty pleasures. And besides, they’re a good escape. Plus, they’re always good for a laugh.”

You smiled, feeling lighter with each passing minute. “You’re full of surprises, won. But I’m glad I got to know this side of you.”

“Same here,” Jungwon replied, his voice soft. “It’s nice just talking like this. No pressure, no drama. Just us.”

You nodded, grateful for the quiet moment. “Yeah, it’s exactly what I needed. Thank you, won. For everything.”

“Anytime, Yn,” he said, giving her a reassuring smile.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while longer, watching the stars twinkle above them. Eventually, you took a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling ready to face the world again.

“I think I’m ready to go back,” you said, glancing over at Jungwon. “I don’t want to hide out here all night, plus my friends must've been worried sick.”

Jungwon nodded, standing up and offering you his hand. “Let’s do it then.”

You took his hand, letting him help you up. As you started walking back to the party, you felt a small pang of nervousness, but with Jungwon beside you, it wasn’t so bad. When you reached Jeonghyeon’s house, the sounds of the party hit them once again—the music, the laughter, the clinking of glasses. It was like stepping back into a different world.

As they entered, Jake and Heeseung were the first to spot them. They were standing near the entrance, laughing about something when they noticed you and Jungwon walk in together. Both of them immediately went quiet, their eyes widening as they took in the sight of you with Jungwon’s jacket draped over her shoulders.

“Whoa, won-a, look who’s finally here,” Jake said, raising an eyebrow and smirking as he nudged Heeseung. “But more importantly, who he’s with.”

Heeseung chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “Man, you show up late and somehow manage to be the hero of the night? How do you do it?”

Jungwon rubbed the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed by the attention. “It’s not like that. I just ran into Yn outside and… you know, we talked.”

Jake’s smirk widened as he eyed the jacket on your shoulders. “Oh, I see. Just talking, huh? And sharing jackets, too? Interesting.”

You, feeling your cheeks warm slightly, tried to downplay the situation. “It was cold, and I left my jacket inside, so Jungwon was just being nice.”

Heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Uh-huh. Nice guy, that Jungwon. Real gentleman.”

Before they could tease him further, Sunghoon appeared, his eyes scanning the room anxiously. When he spotted you standing next to Jungwon, his expression shifted from relief to concern, and then to something closer to jealousy. He hurried over, his focus entirely on you.

“Yn!” Sunghoon’s voice was sharp, but laced with worry. He quickly closed the distance between them. “Where have you been? I was looking all over for you.”

You glanced at him, guilt creeping in. “I’m sorry, Hoonie. I just… needed to get out for a bit.”

Sunghoon’s eyes softened as he took in your appearance—the puffy eyes, the faint traces of tears, and the jacket draped over your shoulders. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice dropping to a more gentle tone. “You scared me. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

You bit her lip, realizing you had worried him. “My phone’s inside. I didn’t grab my purse when I left.”

Sunghoon let out a sigh, his worry morphing into a mix of relief and exasperation. “Yn, you should have grabbed it. I was worried something happened to you.”

oun looked down, feeling a bit guilty for not thinking it through. “I’m sorry, Hoon. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

Sunghoon’s expression softened even more, and before you could say anything else, he pulled you into a tight hug. “Don’t scare me like that again,” he murmured, his voice filled with concern. “You know I’m here for you, right? You don’t have to deal with things on your own.”

You hugged him back, feeling the weight of your earlier emotions lifting slightly. “I know. I’m sorry, I just needed to clear my head.”

Sunghoon pulled back slightly, his hands resting on your shoulders as he looked at you intently. “Next time, clear your head with me, okay? I don’t want you to be alone when you’re feeling like this.”

Ypu nodded, appreciating his protectiveness. “Okay. I promise.”

Sunghoon finally let you go, his eyes flicking over to Jungwon, who had been standing quietly beside you the whole time. There was a hint of something unreadable in Sunghoon’s gaze as he addressed Jungwon. “Thanks for looking out for her, Jungwon.”

Jungwon nodded, his tone sincere. “Of course, Sunghoon. I’m just glad she’s okay.”

Sunghoon offered a small, tight smile, though there was still a flicker of jealousy in his eyes. “Me too.”

Jake and Heeseung, sensing the tension, exchanged amused glances but wisely decided not to comment. Instead, Jake clapped Jungwon on the back. “Glad you made it, man. We were starting to think you ditched us or something.”

Jungwon laughed, the tension easing a bit. “Yeah, sorry I’m late. Had some family stuff to take care of.”

Heeseung grinned, nodding towards you. “Looks like you showed up just in time, though. Saved the night, huh?”

Jungwon blushed slightly, shrugging. “I don’t know about that, but I’m just glad Yn’s okay.”

You smiled at him, grateful for his support. “Thank you, won.” you gave back his jacket as you turned to sunghoon.

“I think I just want to go home,” you admitted, your eyes meeting his with a look that was both apologetic and weary. “I’m really tired, and I don’t think I can stay here any longer.”

Sunghoon didn’t hesitate for a second. “Of course. Let’s get you out of here,” he said, his tone gentle but firm. He immediately gathered your things, ensuring you had everything you needed. He didn’t even bother with his own drink or saying goodbye to anyone else—his only focus was on getting you out of there and making sure you were okay.

You appreciated how quickly he moved, how he didn’t question you or try to convince you to stay. You quickly grabbed your purse from where you had left it earlier and glanced around the room at your friends.

“I’m gonna head out,” you said, offering a small wave to Chaeryeong, Gaeul, Sunoo, and Jungwon, who were all still in the kitchen. “Thanks for tonight, guys.”

Chaeryeong and Gaeul exchanged worried looks but nodded in understanding. “Take care, Yn,” Chaeryeong said with a supportive smile. “Text us when you get home, okay?”

You nodded, grateful for their concern. “I will. Thanks, Chae.”

Jungwon offered you a soft smile, “See you soon, Yn. Take care.”

Sunoo gave you a nod, his usual teasing tone absent as he simply said, “Get some rest, Yn. We’ll catch up later.”

With a quick round of goodbyes, you and Sunghoon left the party, stepping out into the cool night air. The walk to Sunghoon’s car was quiet, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It was the kind of silence that spoke volumes, where words weren’t necessary because the understanding between you was so strong.

Sunghoon unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you, helping you in before getting into the driver’s seat himself. He started the engine, and as you drove away from the party, he glanced over at you, his expression soft and full of concern.

“You okay?” he asked, keeping his voice gentle.

You nodded, though you let out a small sigh. “I think I will be. I just… I need to be away from everything tonight.”

Sunghoon reached over and gently squeezed your hand. “You don’t have to explain. I’m just glad you told me. Let’s get you home, okay?”

You squeezed his hand back, feeling a wave of gratitude for how understanding he was. “Thanks, Hoonie. You’re always there when I need you.”

Sunghoon gave you a small smile, his eyes never leaving the road. “Always.”

The drive back to your apartment was peaceful, the city lights flashing by as you left the noise of the party behind them. When you arrived, Sunghoon parked the car and walked you up to your apartment, his hand resting protectively on the small of your back.

Once inside, you immediately felt a sense of relief wash over you. Your parents and brother weren't there tonight. You aprents were away for a comeptition and your brother was probably at one of his friends' house. The familiar surroundings of your empty apartment made you feel safe, like you could finally breathe again. You kicked off your shoes and dropped your purse on the couch, turning to Sunghoon with a tired smile.

“Do you want to stay and watch a movie or something?” you asked, though she already knew the answer. It was almost a tradition for you at this point—whenever one of you was feeling down, you would curl up on the couch and watch movies until you fell asleep.

Sunghoon smiled softly. “Of course. Let’s find something light, yeah? Something that’ll help you forget about tonight.”

You nodded, already feeling better just knowing that he was there with you. “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

You settled on the couch, and after flipping through a few options, you decided on a classic feel-good movie that you had both seen a million times but never got tired of. You grabbed a blanket and draped it over both of you, snuggling into Sunghoon’s side as the opening credits rolled.

Sunghoon wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close and resting his cheek against the top of your head. “Comfortable?” he asked softly.

“Mm-hmm,” You murmured, her eyes already feeling heavy. “This is perfect.”

As the movie played, you found yourself slowly drifting off, lulled by the warmth of the blanket, the soothing familiarity of the movie, and the steady rhythm of Sunghoon’s breathing. You felt safe, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happened, Sunghoon would always be there for you.

When the movie ended, neither of you moved. You were half-asleep, your head resting on Sunghoon’s chest, and he was content to stay right where he was, holding you close. He looked down at you, his heart swelling with affection.

“Yn?” he whispered, not wanting to wake you if you were already asleep.

“Mm?” you mumbled, her eyes still closed.

“Let’s go to bed,” Sunghoon suggested gently, knowing you would both sleep better in your bed rather than on the couch.

You nodded sleepily, sitting up and stretching. “Yeah, okay.”

You made your way to her bedroom, where you immediately crawled under the covers. Sunghoon hesitated for just a moment, but then he followed you, slipping under the blankets and lying down beside you. This wasn’t the first time you had shared a bed—it was something you did whenever one of them needed comfort.

You snuggled into him, your head resting on his chest as you closed her eyes. “Thanks for staying with me, Hoonie,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

“Anytime, Yn,” Sunghoon replied softly, his hand gently running through your hair.

Sunghoon held you close, feeling you relax against him as sleep overtook you. And as he drifted off, he couldn’t help but think that there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

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taglist: @sincerely-sunny @realrintaro @onlyhyunjin @mari-oclock @jooniesbears-blog

[hermitw]

I want to make a list of my JJK theories and opinions so we got (part 1 bc I know I'll have / remember more later).

-let gege cook, everyone will be fine, chill tf out (I have rambled about this in other posts so I'll just leave it at that here)

-Toji and Geto's worm is like banana fish (the drug from banana fish that makes someone delusional, easily suggestible, and violent until they self destruct. Geto lasted a lot longer than Toji under its influence bc he had his rituals of meditations, affirmations, and strong ethics. His cursed energy would have also fed the worm, though it had been trained to feed off of the soul when it was with toji). It eats away at their souls/BRAIN so Kenjaku can get into a new skull will little resistance. Remember when Geto was unconscious and Toji said the thing about monkeys? Then Geto kept repeating that kind of thing (but he never rly acted like he believed that. He was just trying to keep his daughters and innocent youth safe from becoming skapegoats like Rika was. He saw that the cult and the village would repeat their cycles and more would be hurt in the future. He couldn't redeem those adults so he killed them.) I go into this theory a good bit in my longest/first jjk fanfic, and I AM DYING for gege to confirm this. I also ofc think that Kenjaku set up the worm and Toji to find each other. Maybe by throwing it into the zenin curse pit.

-kenjaku hit Rika with his car, or at least manipulated someone else into doing it (which seems to be the theme here, the way he made geto and yuta fight, for example. It's suspicious that Yuta and Yuuji were both from Sendai. I'm sure that he was keeping an eye on them both. We see nanako and mimiko at yuuji's school in that one manga panel in the beginning.

-the prison realm can be used for time travel (since Gojo first got sealed I was expecting him to break out. And then I was expecting him to be so understimulated in there that he'd figure out how to warp time. Dude can already warp space, what's the difference?) and Hakari even suggested using the prison realm for time travel so EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE they just have to go as far as they can without using it first so they can learn what to do the next time, yeah? I also had a dream about this and Gojo told me that Sukuna didn't feel the time loop, but the rest of us knew it was our second time (at least) going back and trying to defeat him. Which doesn't mean that I'm right but it was nice ok 😭

Theories that have been proven right or wrong by now

-I've been saying from the beginning that Yuuji and Sukuna share a common ancestor and that's why he can be a vessel. I was right!! But I didn't know he was also born with a fingie

-sukuna has six eyes (this has since been disproven but I used to think so)

-the way that RCT works between two people

CHAPTER 261 SPOILERS ON THIS NEXT ONE but I hope ur caught up by now.

-yuta should use as many techniques as possible in Gojo's body bc when Gojo returns to it, then he will be able to learn them as well. Kenjaku was able to retain techniques from his previous bodies, so even if all he transfers is the copy technique, that's fkn useful too.

-there is no chemistry between Yuki and Choso. That concept feels fucking forced and gives me the ick so hard.

-yuki is a terrible influence. She has good intentions, but she isn't present enough to be helpful - showing up in shibuya after Mahito was absorbed, for example. Not keeping in touch with the sorcerers who were involved in that. Not to mention the shit with Geto. She started the whole "what kind of woman is your type" thing and it's her fault that todo beats people nearly to death for giving an answer that doesn't match his own stupid taste (it took several watches for me to forgive todo for beating up megumi tbh)

-todo is also Kenjaku's son, and possibly Yuki - tho yuki is more vibes than evidence. All of Kenjaku's confirmed kids have a strong resolve, and false memories with Yuuji. But I think that kenjaku, in a male body, would be a total slut. His motivation for anything is that maybe it'll be interesting, or funny, he's just here for a good time. I think that he wouldn't even know how many kids he has, and that by having an unknown number possibly out there, it would bring up unexpected sorcerers. The frame where kenjaku asks why don't you heal yourself and yuki says I don't want to... That feels confirmed for me but I know it isn't solid evidence.

-I think kenjaku set up yuki to meet todo bc that feels too sus as well but I forget my logic on that one lmaoooo everything is their fault tho

[rinsuniverse]

Can I request woozi with a reader who loves loves loves music? I’m autistic and music is just one of those things that make me so so so happy! And I really vibe with svt songs it’s crazy…

woozi with a s/o who loves music ✧˖°.

i feel like it's necessary for woozi's s/o to LOVE music

i think he said in an interview one time that his ideal type is someone who loves music as much as he does!

but anyway, if he knows you love music, he'd be so overjoyed!

he'd feel even more motivated to keep producing music

he'd send you lots of song recommendations and playlists

and he'd sing your favorite songs to you on very lucky days

one day, when you were attending one of seventeen's concerts when you guys just started dating

he memorized where you were supposed to be seated

and whenever he'd look over at you and saw you bopping your head to the music and listening happily as you get lost in the wonderful sounds he put together

he can't help but smile at you and fall in love with you

the way you can get so lost in music just like he does

it just makes his heart so happy

he wishes he could've taken a photo or video of that moment, but he treasures that memory and makes sure to remember it vividly

during the time he has to go on tour and leave you home alone for a long weekend, he compiles a playlist of music he loves, music he thinks you would love, and music he KNOWS you love for you to play on a speaker for when the house feels too quiet

when you're in the car together, he insists he always has the aux, but of course, he'd play specific songs especially for you

since this drabble is kind of short...

here's an imagine for you!

imagine it's been a terribly long day, and you're feeling so exhausted on your way home

when you get home, you aren't surprised jihoon's not there

i mean, he stays up pretty late working

but you decide you're gonna beg for him to come home at a reasonable time so he can come chill with you at home

so you shoot him a text like

you: ji

you: pls come home

and he responds

jihoon: right now?

you: just earlier than usual

jihoon: why? what's wrong?

you: i've had such a long day

jihoon: you can't come to the studio and hang out with me here?

you: ...

jihoon: fine i'll come home in a bit

and you lay there on the couch with your work clothes still on

you don't even have the energy to clean yourself up or make yourself something to eat

when he comes home, he tsks at you

"wow. have you just been laying here since you called me?"

"mhm."

he chuckles, plopping himself on top of you

"want to call it an early night tonight?" he mumbles into your shoulder

"yes, please."

he gets up and helps you up, leading both of you to your room

he takes off your jacket for you before laying it over your desk chair

you go to the bathroom to actually change into some pjs

and he changes into some shorts that he left over at your house

and then you both lay next to each other in bed

"i'm so tired," you say, sighing

you lay your head on his chest and listen to the rhythm of his heart

"why? did you not have a good day?"

"it was an okay day, just felt like it was too long."

"oh, makes sense," he says.

he doesn't ask if you want to talk about it

because, to be honest, he doesn't know how to comfort you with words

and if you really wanted to talk about it, you would go on ahead and do it

you lay there in silence until he starts singing "hug" to you

you listen to his voice and the meaningful lyrics

and it feels so wholesome and so pure

you want moments like these to last forever because you love music and you love him

so if he's singing to you, it's just everything you love at once

you quickly fall asleep in his loose grasp

his arm wrapped around your shoulders with his fingers drumming a soft beat on your chest

and when he finishes singing, he quickly notices your soft snores, and he feels so accomplished and happy

he feels so warm in these music sharing moments with you

he plays some of your favorite songs on his phone at a low volume

and you both sleep well together 🫶

thank you so much for the request! i hope you enjoyed it <3 feel free to request many, many more things ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

[halimamis]

How to write the first chapter Part 2

I'm back with Part 2 on how to write a good first chapter. Read Part 1 here.

A Voice That Slaps (in a Good Way)

Your writing voice should be like that person at the party everyone’s drawn to: funny, mysterious, intense—whatever fits the vibe of your story. Whether you’re snarky or poetic, let your voice shine. Just not, like, in a “I’m yelling at you with CAPS LOCK” way.

Make Us Feel Things

No pressure, but if we’re not emotionally invested by the end of chapter one... well, we’re probably not sticking around. We need to feel something—fear, joy, suspense, awkward secondhand embarrassment—whatever it is, give us that emotional hit. Just one hit. We’re hooked now. Thanks.

Purpose, People.

Have a Goal. The first chapter should hint at where the story is going. Give us a sense of what we’re chasing. What’s the big picture? Doesn’t have to be crystal clear, but at least leave us a breadcrumb trail. There's an abusive neighbor, what do you think will happen? The lights in the kitchen were on although you swore you had turned them off before you left. Your dog doesn't like your friend and keeps barking every time you're near them... etc

Memorability: Hit Us with That Wow Factor

Make your first chapter stand out. Whether it’s a killer line, an unforgettable scene, or just a vibe we can’t shake, make it memorable. You know, the kind of thing that makes us put down the book and go, “Whoa. That was epic,” or even just, “I need to see where this mess is headed.” For example, the book "They Both Die at the End" by Adam Silvera starts with a chilling premise where two people are informed the day they will die. The first line instantly captured the attention and made readers curious enough to finish to the end.

Balance Between Show and Tell

You’ve heard this a thousand times, I know. Show, don’t tell! But also... sometimes, it’s fine to tell. It’s just all about balance. Don’t give us 10 paragraphs of internal monologue, but also don’t make us guess at everything. We’re not detectives. Don't info dump but don't be selfish.

Example: Lara was a 25-year-old woman with long, chestnut hair and emerald-green eyes that she had inherited from her mother, who had passed away five years ago in a tragic car accident. She worked as a marketing assistant in a big city, though her real passion was pottery, which she had been doing since she was 14 after taking a class at summer camp. Her favorite color was blue, her best friend was named Sarah, and she always had her morning coffee with two sugars but no milk, because she was lactose intolerant... etc.

Okay, we get it. So much info.

Now Balanced Storytelling (AKA "That Feels Better")

Example: Lara sipped her black coffee, staring at the pottery wheel in front of her. Five years after her mother’s accident, the spinning was still the only thing that calmed her nerves. She pushed thoughts of her marketing job aside and went over to the wheel. This was where she belonged—her real passion, hidden away from the chaos of city life. Lara sat down on the wooden chair. One of the legs was broken and a nail was missing, but she couldn't care less now as she slowly let the clay take shape under her hands.

Now we’re showing her love for pottery, hints of her backstory, and her character—all without dumping everything in one go.

And there you have it! Now go out there and write your amazing, epic, flawless first chapter. And remember, no one’s perfect—except that one writer who’s probably over-caffeinated and crying in the corner. Reblog if that's you.

Oh, I almost forgot... I noticed a lot of people suffer with writing their first chapter (I myself deleted and re-wrote my first chapter 16 times before finishing my first novel) So, if anyone has questions, don't hesitate to ask and I'll try to give you as much help. And if you want me to revise and edit your first chapter, you can find me here.

[koiiiji]

It always makes me sad whenever I remember the similarities between Johan and Vinny ☹️ they both struggled with poverty and loves their mom dearly and how they both work rlly hard for their mothers like😭😭💔💔, NOT TO MENTION THE SIMILAR PERSONALITIES TOO (minus the anger issues for Johan but still) I want a happy ending for both of them or im gonna write wb and lookism myself

-dearest 🪷 anon (jakes biceps yum)

yaaaay!! hi 🪷 anonie!!!

i deeply love broken characters like Vinny and Johan, their character development, how deep they gonna fall just to understand that the path they choose are wrong, and they actually have friends who are ready to help them and they don’t really need to go all by themselves (it honestly already happened to Johan since Jay payed for his mum surgery and his relations with Zack finally moved from dead point… the same cannot be said about Vinny…)

even tho they are not my favorite characters (i prefer dickhead Vinny from season 1 where he purely was bad boy, smoking, having that shitty grins and stuff… toxic icon i swear!!) i like the way how authors develop them, especially Vinny, but how i hate their 12-14 yo fanbase in tiktok… kids ready to justify the fact that grown up woman dating schoolboy (and im real about that, myself only on second year of uni and i can’t imagine dating boy who are about to finish school, we simply have nothing to talk about…), but in ship Owen/Aria they call Owen pedo…. but everything is fine with 23/25 yo girl dating 18 yo guy who are in school and clearly needs therapy instead of relationship.

i hate the way how fandom ready to justify… kinda both of them? i haven’t really seen Johan being justified but it’s huge with Vinny. chill girl, both of them are not green flags, not even close to them, both have anger issues, permanently being in fights and million’s times being said but again NEED THERAPY DUE TO SHITTY CHILDHOOD, STRUGGLING WITH MONEY AND HUGE PROBLEM OF VALUES AND HOW PEOPLE LOOK/DRESSES UP…. bc if you don’t look/dress up good enough society not gonna accept you even if you are good person yourself, and Vinny deal with that shit since childhood, while Johan literally being homeless and questionably how not having trauma from cult events (at least we haven’t seen how it showed) (well okay, he have trust issues, but it’s all?…)

so yeah, i love both of them, bros def would vibe together, like imagine them just sitting in silence with that “understandable” look and sharing some food as a sign of trust to each other bc both have such a broken souls… wish everything happy for both of them, Johan low key already on right path, Vinny… well, it doesn’t matter with whom he gonna win league, i just wish he did, and Yumi won’t have any step closer to him😌🙏🏻

[being-addie]

hi girl, how are you? I hope ur fine and that everything's perfectly okay, i got some questions, if u don't mind answering.

so on September it's my freshman year, im so excited, and especially bcz im going to a new school, which means new people, new experiences and stuff.

Ik high school isn't as perfect as i see it in movies, and that my skl won't take us on a road trip and leave us all alone so we can have fun 💀 but i was wondering if u had any tips for high skl.

I also kinda wanna have a glow up, both physical and mental, during summer, and since ur a whole glowup guru I thought u could give me a "program" to follow so i can look, think and behave better, especially cz my mom doesn't allow me to go out so no gym or activities outside, and she thinks im too young to have a skincare or follow a diet yk.

thank u so much in advance, i absolutely love ur posts, and if u can't or don't have time to answer, that's perfectly fine, stay safe hun<33

hello love,

sorry this is late. classes have been insane. congratulations on your new school! it's always exciting when you try something new, and I promise you're gonna love it.

now, im assuming you're 15/16 years old, since you're a freshman. Before I say anything about having fun in high school, I need to you remember that while TV and movies glorify high school as this really crazy time where you party and have fun (yes, you will have fun I promise), its important to keep in mind that these four years will help you decide your future and get into college. So work hard, and party harder.

Okay, now that I've said that, let's tackle this bit by bit.

How to have fun in high school:

Have sleepovers: They're a fun and easy way to bond with friends. Order tons of junk food and stay up all night.

Picnics: My favourite activity. Dress up and have a themed picnic, and have a photoshoot.

Pool party: If someone you know has a pool, go have fun in the water!

Hang out: Honestly, this was the most fun I had in high school. Just meet at someone's house or at the park, and just chat. Or bring an activity to do together (crochet, playing cards, etc). Buy some snacks and play some music and it's the most chill vibe ever. You will love it.

Start a band: If you play an insturment/ sing, start a band! It's so much fun to practice and perform with friends!

Join a club: You can make lots of like-minded friends at clubs at school. Pick something you really like to do.

How to glow-up for high school:

Workout:

There's no rule that the gym is the only place to workout. When I was 15, I wasn't allowed to the gym either, so I had to make do.

Youtube videos: There are tons and tons of great workout videos from people with a large following. My favourites are Caroline Girvan, growingannanas, Pamela Reif and Madfit. Go get sweaty!

Makeshift weights: You can water bottles filled with water/sand as weights or buy ankle weights to put around your wrists as you get stronger.

Run: This is an amazing source of cardio. I gave up a while back on this because I detest running, but it really does work. Plug in your headphones and go for a run in nature.

Dance: Dancing is a really fun way to workout. Try Zumba, hip-hop or K-pop routines. Hell, even Just Dance has some good ones. Join a class if you want to stay accountable.

Diet:

Honestly, I can't give a lot of advice to you here, because I'm not qualified enough. Go to a nutritionist to see if there's anything you can do. If not, make sure to eat plenty of protein and fibre, limit your junk food intake and drink lots of water. Make lots of salads and fruit bowls. Overnight oats are healthy, filling and delicious.

What I like to do, is eat everything in moderation. Say I've had a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner. I won't deny myself a nice bowl of ice-cream (again, not a sundae, the key is moderation). But if I've had greasy food for lunch and takeout for dinner, I'll probably settle for fruit instead. Know that you can eat without punishing yourself, but remember not to go overboard. Food is fuel, remember.

Other tips:

Skincare: Don't make it too fancy. I know influencers and the like have those weird 15-step skincare routines, but it isn't necessary. I use the Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser, and the most basic Cetaphil face lotion I could find along with an organic lip balm my mom buys. It works like a charm and itsn to too fancy. I also take an ABC smoothie (Apple, Beetroot, Carrot + some water.) This is such a game-changer.

Abundance mindset: I like to think of the universe constantly working in my favour. It's always looking out for me, and I'm the luckiest girl in the world. What you think is what you attract. If you think negatively, you will begin to see only bad things around you. Stay positive.

Wardrobe: Go thrifting, or DIY some old clothes. Pinterest has tons of amazing ideas. Paint your T-shirts, dye your skirts, make cute jewellery at home. There are no limits.

Makeup: I don't recommend it honestly. I'm more or less anti makeup to the point where I only own two pieces of makeup(eyeliner and lip gloss) and even those are used sparingly. Don't get used to your painted face. Your natural beauty is beautiful; and should not be hidden. There's something so amazing in someone who is confident in their own skin. Own yourself, and people will love you more for it.

This post became incredibly long lmao, but I hope I was able to help. DM me if you want more tips. You got this xoxo

<3

[vodkacheesefries]

I officially have three saves going and I realized my Tavs accidentally fit the "McDonald's coffee" meme a little too perfectly

Info dump under the cut! Spoilers ahoy, read at ur own risk

Io the Cleric (she/they)

Very practical sort, camp mom even though their girlfriend Shadowheart is the dedicated healer. Carries snacks for everyone.

She gets very upset at first when people default to her choices and sorta view her as the leader and then get mad when she makes a choice they don't like. Doesn't do great with the pressure.

Secretly also only recently learned how to swim but gotta be brave for the girlfriend

Also romancing Halsin because I couldn't in Gritty's playthrough (because they romanced Wyll) but I'm also a sucker for the tall/small trope

But goddamn do both Shadowheart and Halsin make me/Io blush sometimes

Technically broke her oath for her paladin mutliclass because she wouldn't kill the vampire spawn and released them but we had 1000 gold handy so everything's fine, totally didn't send them into their own mini faith crisis

Very much has a Ninth Doctor "Just this once, everybody lives!" moment when she somehow managed to successfully keep all of the Harper's alive at Moonrise. However they do feel deeply guilty for not being able to talk Ketheric down.

Has two moms who love her very much and will be thrilled when she brings home a boyfriend AND a girlfriend

"Gritty" the Druid (they/them)

What's their real name? Who knows! Gritty doesn't care, and likely, doesn't remember.

Being a druid they are frequently actually gritty but if they were able to they'd stay in a hot bath for hours

Favorite wild shape is the spider. Actually quite fond of spiders overall. They think they're misunderstood, sorta like tieflings.

Hooked up with Lae'zel at the tiefling party, but broke it off because Gritty has a chill kinda stoner vibe and Lae'zel's intensity was just a biiit too much for them, though they grow to be best friends. Gritty is super depressed when she leaves to go back to take care of Vlaakith, even tho they are completely supportive.

But boy did they fall head over heels unexpectedly for Wyll

Secretly really relieved he didn't want to take over as duke. They weren't keen on staying in the city.

Like your typical newlywed couple, their honeymoon is going to the Hells to kill a demon 💕

Knox the Rogue (they/he)

I literally just started the Dark Urge origin so I know as much as they do about their past so there's not a whole lot for me to work with outside of how I'm building their personality

Trying their damnedest to resist the urge and squash it down

Sorta sardonic, but it's mostly just to cover up how fuckin scared they are

They're jealous of folks like Karlach who can let their guard down enough to feel jovial, even despite the stress they're all under

Right now feels safest with Astarion, and that will hopefully continue because I neeeeed to do his romance route

Feels really bad about Alfira. They want to want to help people, not to want to hurt them.

[tenspontaneite]

Assembly (Chapter 3/?)

These long stretches of the superstructure are dull and empty, with nothing of colour or interest to draw the eye. Suns stares around as though for the first time, aware as they have never been how dissatisfying it all is. It is standard for an iterator’s interior, but it is also wrong.

My self should not be like this, they think, and it feels like a revelation.

 (Chapter length: 7.8k. Link to ao3 with workskin)

 Some real gender vibes in this one, folks.

Warnings: none. It’s a shockingly chill and wholesome chapter for the most part.

 ---

[LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

SRS: …I may have new protocols to suggest for that AMP User Manual you’ve been putting together.

NSH: Oho. This sounds interesting. What happened?

SRS: My selfling went to Septkai and gained new experiences. What else?

SRS: The re-integration when they returned was more affecting than I expected. I experienced several stalled local processes which caused some minor damage to several clusters of neural tissue in my chamber.

NSH: …Well now, I didn’t expect that. Are you alright?

SRS: Yes, fine. It was unfortunately painful, but the tissue will heal.

SRS: In the future, I recommend that any integrations with returning selflings be performed under a dedicated processing partition. It will delay memory integration relative to the amount of data to process, but it should prevent accidentally causing oneself damage with upsetting or overwhelming qualia.

SRS: Sending my suggested implementation strategy and code now. Apologies for the length of the messages to come, as always.

NSH: We’re both used to having to cope with transmitting programming like this, it’s fine~

NSH: Seriously though, Seven Red Suns. Is everything okay? What happened with your AMP that was that affecting?

SRS: …I’ll tell you about it later, if that’s alright.

SRS: I’m still processing.

 “It’s alright,” Suns soothes the little creature, puppet lingering on the ground to reassure it. “I’m fine. It was just…a momentary slip, that’s all. We’ll be ready next time.”

Their selfling stands nearby, deliberately disconnected. Neither of them had anticipated the response their CMQ exchange would yield, and for all that the data are all fully transmitted already, it seems SRS-01 is still reeling from the experience of the shared pain. Wary to connect again.

“You remember it, yes?” Their messenger signs anxiously, as though concerned that all the memory of the day has been wiped clean. “My name? The talking?”

“Yes, Spearmaster, of course,” they say, the first time their puppet has spoken it. It aches. “Everything we saw and spoke of. Not to worry.”

A little later, when they successfully manage to send Spearmaster off to feed, they both slump in the privacy of the chamber, the puppet wincing and the selfling grimacing as best they can. It wasn’t a lie, to say that their tissue would heal. But…

“Want me to look at that neural wiring?” Their selfling asks, looking painfully resplendent in cleric’s garb. “If it’s still hurting after that.”

“Yes please,” Suns admits, laying their puppet onto the chamber floor with relief. “Only, be gentle. That integration really was unexpectedly painful.”

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: So the way I see it, our priorities at this point should be to increase physical conditioning on the AMPs and test remaining critical systems. Anything else?

SRS: Provisioning.

NSH: What do you mean?

SRS: We may not need food, per se, but we will need supplies. We’ll need to collaborate on deciding what tools to bring with us. For…

NSH: …Yes, I see. We have no idea what state they’ll be in when we get to them. Or what would help.

NSH: Do you think Moon could use some extra neurons? Some more slag keys, even?

SRS: It’s truly hard to say until we can judge the situation in person. But I can’t see how it would hurt. Yes, we should bring neurons and slag keys. Maybe some other gifts, too.

SRS: It must have been so long since they got any new interesting pearls, either of them. Perhaps something entertaining?

NSH: Oh I can definitely do ‘entertaining’.

SRS: I certainly hope you can do ‘tasteful’, too.

NSH: Honestly, Suns. Would I ever choose a gift that wasn’t perfectly tasteful? ~

SRS: No Significant Harassment. I remember what you sent to Five Pebbles that one time.

NSH: …Okay, fair enough.

 Suns turns the question over and over in their mind: what will they bring for Pebbles?

Practical necessities aside, it’s hard to think of anything. The two of them share a good many interests, and always have – it would have been hard to find another iterator who appreciated arts and culture as much as Pebbles, and he’d always been quietly fascinated by what Septkai produced in Suns’ name. But it isn’t as though the People have been producing any new art since they lost contact, is it? There’s nothing new to share. How depressing.

Although…

“You like the pretty hanging things, yes?” Spearmaster asks them, while they’re in the middle of mulling over its own elaborate floor engravings: the first new art in the city in so very long. Their puppet blinks to attention. “In the big house? And the pictures, on the walls.”

“Yes, I always loved the art of Septkai,” Suns agrees, not entirely sure where the little creature is going with this.

“Bring some here?” It suggests, and knocks the gravity out of a nearby hallway in so doing. Suns recovers themself, puppet going still. “Make your place pretty, too! Like you brought the clothes back, to make your selfling pretty.” It peers up at them. Though it doesn’t say anything, it certainly can’t have escaped its attention that Suns’ puppet hasn’t touched the ritual clothes yet.

“The things you say…” They murmur, antennae flicking back with unease. “You have a way of challenging me, don’t you, my friend?” When Spearmaster only blinks at them, politely confused, they sigh. “I have never considered that before. The idea of taking those things from the city…it feels uncomfortably like desecrating a corpse.”

“Took the clothes,” it points out, perplexed.

“Yes, well, all things considered, those feel like they belong to me a little more than the rest does,” they admit, but…yes, it’s a weak separation, isn’t it? Septkai was their city, after all. In the absence of its original inhabitants…who else would it all belong to?

And then a thought occurs to them:

I wonder if there are any readable pearls left in the Houses...

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: So I can confirm that our short-range communications are capable of working over distances of around 300 to 700 stretches, depending on terrain and intervening structures. Not ideal, but could be worse.

NSH: We can boost off of our overseers, though. That helps a lot.

SRS: …

SRS: Please don’t tell me you tested that on the surface?

NSH: Well, where else was I going to test it?

NSH: Might not have been the best idea though, I’ll admit. I nearly got carried off by a vulture.

NSH: You know, people have always given me a lot of grief for creating those, but I never paid them much mind.

NSH: But all of a sudden, I feel like they might’ve had a point.

SRS: I’m going to remind you of this conversation the next time you have a horrifying bioengineering project.

 They ask their messenger what practice it recommends, if one is going to be heading out onto the surface at some point.

“Climbing, running fast, jumping far,” it signs, thinking about it. After a second, it demonstrates a startlingly-graceful backflip. “Special jumps. And throwing! Throwing spears is important!”

“You might be biased on that last item, all things considered, but…you’re not wrong.” They did make it capable of extruding effectively infinite spines for a reason, after all. “I’ll have to see about the flipping. We did engineer a respectable degree of flexibility in, but...I’ll have to try. In the meantime…do you think you could do me a favour?”

In short order, Suns’ selfling is set up in one of the least damageable rooms of their superstructure, exercising like a Person in a gymnasium while Spearmaster goes off to raid Septkai for pearls. It’s more than slightly embarrassing, but, well. There’s probably not a more efficient way to improve their physical conditioning, is there?

They continue thus for several days. A respectable pile of pearls accumulates on the floor of their chamber, hunted down unerringly by their little creation. With nothing better to do, Suns’ puppet spends a good amount of time rifling through the data, looking for anything interesting.

There are a distressing number of bequests and personal qualia, more or less all left to Seven Red Suns. All sorts of personal files, music, records, work data, and so on. There’s also a startlingly large amount of pornography, which they’d been under the impression was discouraged in Septkai. Bizarre, Suns thinks. Even with their more recently-discovered context, it’s all so bizarre. The People’s reproductive drives must have been truly insistent to explain this kind of wide-spread violation of social mores.

In the end, there’s not much of use to be found in a few days of Spearmaster’s scavenging. The music is nice, though; they set that aside along with all of the useful professional data and bequests.

None of it would make even a half-way acceptable gift for Five Pebbles after all this time. But they compile all of the music, particularly the religious hymns, onto a pearl anyway.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: Starting to think that maybe heading off across the surface on my own isn’t the smartest idea.

SRS: ??? Why would you do that anyway.

NSH: Wasn’t that the plan? Send our selflings to visit each other?

SRS: I was under the impression that Spearmaster and I would go to you. It’s safer that way, don’t you think? To go out with an experienced traveller. And your can is closest to Five Pebbles anyway. It’s just more efficient.

NSH: I suppose……….

NSH: I want to visit your can, though~

SRS: Well then wait until you have another AMP or two to send off to me, so they can protect each other. Or until you’re effective enough at surviving the surface on your own. Surely the practical experience should transfer to new AMPs perfectly well.

NSH: The conditioning won’t, but you have a point. Do you think it would be worth sharing practice data once we’re in transmitting range? Our AMPs are built on very similar principles so far, after all.

SRS: I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Did you make yours the same size as your puppet?

NSH: Well…yes. What else?

SRS: I suppose I never asked…Is your puppet around the average size for iterators of your era?

NSH: Very slightly shorter. Why is that relevant?

SRS: …You know, I think I’ll hold off on answering that. It’ll be more interesting for you to find out in person.

NSH: What??? Oh now you know this is going to bug me the whole time.

SRS: What can I say? Your habits are rubbing off on me.

SRS: I have reason to believe our AMPs might have conflicting practice data, at any rate. We’ll have to calibrate individually.

SRS: Honestly? I like it better that way. Developing my own skills and strengths in a near-organic way…it has a certain something to it.

NSH: Does this mean you don’t want my data on interesting field-applicable uses of the artificial chromatophores?

SRS: …No, I’ll take that, if you please.

 No Significant Harassment’s chromatophore data, for the most part, seems to revolve around useful things to project on one’s chassis.

“Apparently, putting a false vulture mask on the back of my head will deter lizards,” Suns says to their messenger, testing out different patterns on their selfling’s skin.

“Yes, true. If you pick off a vulture mask from the body, most lizards are afraid of it.”

The voice of practical experience, clearly. It’s a little unnerving to contextualise Spearmaster’s sheer skill in terms of how much better at this they are than Suns. “I’ll keep that in mind. And…hm. If you project a pattern like moving, twisting tendrils, you can sometimes fool a vulture into thinking there’s a leviathan around. But only around water.”

Spearmaster considers that, then shrugs. “Don’t know. Can’t do that.”

“Yes, fair enough…do you suppose there are any specific colours that things might be afraid of? I can do more or less any colour.”

“Red.” They don’t even pause to think about it. “Red and black. Like red lizard, like red centipede.”

Suns has seen images of them from overseers and facility cameras. Like most photographs, they think it’s probably very different in person. “Are they that bad?”

“Very! Yes! Horrible awful bad.” Spearmaster slaps their tail on the floor for emphasis.

“Hmm…” Interesting, that. They peer at their cleric’s cloak, already mostly red and near-black, and wonder if it might pose some deterrent even on its own. Maybe it is practical for travel, if it’s technically aposematic colouration? …No, too heavy. But maybe…

Experimentally, they shift their chassis colour entirely to a red so dark it may as well be black, with their standard pale red patterning going bright and bloody. It does seem to provoke an instinctive response; even here within the superstructure, they see Spearmaster flinch back for a moment, a spike reflexively extruding from one of its tail holes.

It pulls the spear free and discards it, seeming a little embarrassed. “…Yes, good. Sudden colour on you like that – might scare things. Not long. But enough to run.”

Suns nods, and passes the data to their greater self so they can begin writing a program. Half a second passes, and they’re already away, designing a module for their skin driver that will shift to this colour scheme when they’re startled, angry, or aggressive. In the meantime:

“Strange,” Spearmaster remarks, pausing their signing to get in close and pat at Suns’ face with its little grabby hands. Whatever the motivation, it seems satisfied after sniffing at them a bit, and recedes back to their lap to say “Colour changing like that, but smell the same. Feel the same, too. Looks interesting. Like the big picture of you, in the big place.”

“…The cathedral,” they correct, signing along to demonstrate the word, and look away. “Yes, I suppose I would look closer to it in this state, wouldn’t I?” A strange thought, to be closest to the image of Septkai’s god, whilst colouring their skin for a threat display. They think of themself thus: startled or angry or protective, skin shifting black-and-red like the avatar of some wrathful deity.

It isn’t what Septkai wanted of them. They wanted a guide, not a fierce protector. But all the same…

They’re tall, aren’t they? Large compared to a slugcat, certainly. Large compared to Sig’s selfling, in all likelihood. Taller than most anything on the surface stands, capable of adopting a colour scheme that modern fauna instinctively fears…

The Houses of Septkai built Suns’ puppet to be tall, that it would tower over them with the appropriate grandeur. On the holy days, they would don the ritual garb and hang around in it for the clerics’ pictures, looking dramatic and grand as the populace apparently wanted.

It never failed to bemuse them. Shouldn’t the size of their superstructure be imposing enough? Building the mere puppet thus…it must have made sense to them, or they’d not have done it, but it’s baffling regardless.

The great height of their puppet has always been as good as meaningless, really. It’s fixed and immovable, locked forever in a chamber where size has little purpose, except to impress the People who would come in occasionally to be divinely loomed over. Now it has no purpose at all. The height of their selfling, though…that could actually mean something.

I could be intimidating, like this, they think, and enjoy the idea more than they expect.

“I think you’d best give me more lessons with those spears of yours, my friend,” they say to it, and watch its ears perk up. “I suspect Sig’s selfling is going to need a lot of protecting, hm? Better to be ready.”

“You will be the most spear-mastering iterator in the world,” Spearmaster declares, and drags them off to the practice area.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

SRS: What are you up to, Nish? You’ve been oddly quiet.

NSH: Nish? That’s an old nickname. Haven’t heard that in a while.

SRS: I’ve been rereading old conversation logs while my selfling trains. Blame it on that.

SRS: Really though. This kind of silence from you always makes me suspicious. Especially right now.

NSH: Hah, you know me too well.

NSH: It’s nothing much, though. I’ve just been trying to work out how biological I can make an AMP design before it needs special modifications to work it with an AOS.

SRS: I thought you were running low on biological resources.

NSH: Oh, I am. This is all just simulations. Very, very comprehensive simulations, but still simulations. Hence my silence.

NSH: It’s quite tricky. Past a certain point, the body is so biological that it will die the second an AOS is taken out of it, so practically speaking you’d need to install the AOS the second you decanted the body. And then you could never uninstall it or the body would die, because the autonomic nervous functions can’t work without a brain. A waste.

NSH: And on top of that, if it’s going to communicate properly with the AOS, I’d need to engineer some sort of attachment to help the AOS genome accept the body’s genome. Or else modify my own genome’s communication protocols to let it accept information from disparate genomes…

NSH: That should be doable, I think. Our superstructures accept and communicate with foreign neuron flies just fine. I should be able to create more exceptions like that, especially when the AOS itself mostly just contains neurons anyway.

SRS: …That sounds excessively complex.

SRS: Why would you even want a body that heavily biological in the first place? Is it really worth the effort?

NSH: You can make more interestingly complex forms with biological engineering than technological. Biological bodies are really just more intriguing. I might be biased since bioengineering is my speciality, but that’s my opinion~

NSH: Besides, it’s more sustainable long term, I think. Biological resources are more easily replenished than mineral, when the metal around is all so hard to recycle.

NSH: Aren’t you curious about what it’s like, too? Moving around on almost entirely organic limbs, using all those complicated internal organs…it’s so fascinating. I want to know what it feels like.

NSH: Organic sensory processing is so bizarre. I’d like to try eating things, some day. I bet it’s an interesting experience.

SRS: Most of the sensory experience for organics is based in their brains. Presumably if you’re substituting the AOS for the body’s brain, you’d lose all of that anyway.

NSH: Yes, which is why I’m trying to see if it’s possible to grow a body with just the brain parts for sensory processing in. Then you’d be able to just attach a program that parses biological data like the People’s quale upload system did, and some drivers to match, and you’d be good to go.

NSH: Provided the AOS can work with the foreign genome in the first place. But I’m working on that.

SRS: I wouldn’t even know where to start with simulating something like this. I suppose you’re the expert bioengineer between us, after all.

SRS: That said, I do have a suggestion. If you’re already keeping part of the brain, then include neural tissue to regulate autonomic nervous function. That way the essential bodily systems will run even without AOS input, so you’d be able to switch out systems if need be.

SRS: You’d still need to intravenously feed it if it was unoccupied for a while, but you wouldn’t necessarily lose the body the second you uninstalled the AOS.

NSH: Oh, good idea. I’ll definitely get on that.

NSH: Don’t mind me if I’m less talkative than usual, alright? These simulations are pretty demanding, and for obvious ethical reasons I want to be sure I’m not creating a body with its own mind. Even a simple animal one. So…being careful about the brain parts.

SRS: …Yes, please do avoid creating a thinking or feeling being that’s designed to be a vessel and can’t even move on its own. That would be beyond horrifying.

NSH: Hence why I’ve been spending so much time with my simulator~

 On the following day, Spearmaster insists they raid Septkai for baubles.

“This is your place,” it says, more bossy and outspoken the longer it goes with its name known. “Your body-place. It is all you. You should put more things you like here. Not leave it all in city you never see.”

“Well, who am I to argue with that?” Suns says with a laugh, and lets their selfling be pulled off on the excursion.

They’re mostly humouring it, at first. But Septkai is strangely less painful on the second visit, and it makes them wonder. It was like lancing a barely-healed wound, the first time; now it feels cleaner. Like something they might even be able to come to terms with, someday. They keep quiet at the thought, pensive, and let Spearmaster lead them around by the hand.

“Take things from the big pretty house, maybe?” It suggests, of the spire of Whispers Softly in the Glittering Light of Ages.

A pang of hurt returns. “It seems a shame to disturb it, when it looks so lovely in there,” they say, reluctant. “It’s one of your favourite places, isn’t it? You’ve etched the floors to make it even nicer. I don’t want to take the ornaments down from there.”

Spearmaster flicks an ear dismissively. “Take from the boring rooms, then. It is a big place. I mostly like the big rooms.”

Suns sighs, but acquiesces. “I suppose he did explicitly leave all his worldly possessions to me,” they muse, and follow Spearmaster up the spear-ladder to the broken window. They make a mental note to see about unsealing the door sometime for easier ingress, then jump in.

By mutual agreement, they leave the most elaborate rooms undisturbed: the dining hall, the lounging area, the meditation room, and the bathing chamber. They’re all too well-decorated and beautiful to look at, and Suns wants no part in ruining it. Instead, they pull decorations down from the narrow halls and stairwells, laying them out carefully in an old storage crate to avoid them tangling.

Banners of rich fabric, gone a little faded and stiff with the passage of time, but still beautiful in their embroidered glory. Strings of carved red beads, from which depending metal ornaments hang, all in various stylised images of the sun. A trail of metallic ornaments in seven parts, to evoke the stars of Septkaion. This and more they fold into their crate, Spearmaster grasping at things it likes as well to add them to the pile.

It is quite insistent on taking some of the beautifully-ornamented wind chimes, and some of the tiny bright-sounding bells. “In your body-home, there are many places where the gravity moves things around,” it says, with notable enthusiasm. “These will go well there. Make good sounds.”

“I suppose it will work in some sectors,” they allow. “So long as this metal doesn’t disturb anything conductive. That should be easy enough to arrange…”

Tapestries and wall hangings, they harvest in plenty. Spearmaster is very much of the opinion that Suns’ walls could use more art.

“It would be prettier to cover it all in pictures,” they say, a little longingly, as they admire the faded colours of the murals painted in the lounge. “Like this. But there are not enough wall things for it.”

“Not in all the city,” Suns agrees. Even if they were to take down every painting, every tapestry, every banner and mosaic and fresco in Septkai – the whole of it would not be enough to fill their superstructure with art. It is simply too vast. For a moment, they entertain a wistful thought otherwise: their sprawling megalithic halls, always so bare and soulless, instead filled with such a quantity of art they become a gallery in and of themself…

Maybe if they’d expressed the idea back when Septkai was alive, the citizens might have made an effort of it. They’d have probably been thrilled, to fill Suns’ saintly interior with their works. But Septkai is dead, and there is no one left living to make art now.

…Except, no. That’s…not true anymore, is it?

Seven Red Suns stares down at their messenger, who has eagerly applied itself to the art of spear-based engraving, and who knows what else. What else might it learn? Is it interested in other media? It certainly seems to like the colours involved in paintings.

Would it like to paint? Would it apply itself to painting on Sun’s own interior, if given the permission?

A swelling of feeling, difficult to identify, proliferates across their neural wiring. What a gift, they think, of having a person who loves them creating art again, at the prospect of someone they love putting art within them. A true sapient being, with a body, with a creative mind, capable of using them as an iterator never could, trapped and constrained as they are…

They stop short, freezing in the middle of folding up a rich red banner.

“Sun?” Spearmaster signs, in its shorthand name-sign for them. “Something wrong?”

But Suns does not answer, because suddenly, all across their mind is the new and all-encompassing realisation of: I am no longer so constrained.

Slower, like the spread of dawn: I can now create art myself.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

NSH: I’m making some progress with the simulations, I think~

NSH: Soon I might even be ready to try starting up growing of a test body. Just to see if it’s viable without an AOS.

SRS: Oh? That’s interesting news. What organic creature are you basing the body on, anyway? You never said.

NSH: Oh, a vulture, of course. I know them so well, after all.

SRS: …Didn’t we just recently have a conversation about how creating your vultures might not have been wise?

NSH: Yes, yes, but this one would only have enough of a brain to have working senses and the ability for its heart to beat on its own, and so on. It’s hardly going to be another new apex predator.

NSH: Which, for the record, absolutely did help the lizard overpopulation we were all struggling with at the time. So there.

SRS: What do you even want a vulture body for? You know you’re going to have to put a part of you inside that, right?

NSH: Fast travel, mostly. Though it would be a good body to hunt with too, which seems like something I should be specifically working towards, what with how much bioengineering I think the future will hold.

NSH: But yes, fast travel. I can only imagine how much delivery of parts and pearls and so on we’ll need to do, just to do something to help our local group. We don’t have vehicles available, so a large flight-capable body is the next best thing.

SRS: Well, you do have a point…

SRS: I can only imagine how slow repairs to anything would be, if we had to carry everything by foot forever.

NSH: Hence the vulture AMP!

SRS: Do you really think a part of yourself would be happy being in a vulture forever, though?

NSH: I don’t know, I feel like flying around biting things with my face has a lot to recommend it.

NSH: Besides, I’m not sure it would be forever. The body is organic enough it should age to destruction eventually.

SRS: That’s a disturbing idea. Would it be part of the Cycle, do you suppose?

NSH: For that matter, do we even know if our AMPs are part of the Cycle or not?

SRS: …

SRS: Neither of our AMPs has been destroyed yet. I don’t know if we can say, until then. But none of the AOS failures came back after I wiped them.

NSH: Memory loss and personality destruction didn’t trigger Cyclical respawn on People, either.

NSH: You never physically destroyed an AOS, did you? Only reset their self and memory.

SRS: …No, I didn’t. So I suppose we don’t know either way.

SRS: Thank you for this new and highly troubling thought.

NSH: You’re very welcome~

 When asked what kinds of material Spearmaster has used to create art in the past, it answers: engravings, with spears, ‘chalk’ drawings with whatever soft mineral it could find, and arrangements of interesting rocks.

When asked, “Would you be interested in learning to paint with the same materials as your favourite murals?” it becomes more excited than Suns thinks they have ever seen it.

First though, they must find the necessary materials.

As expected, everything pre-mixed in the Guild of Great Artisans is irredeemably expired. The acrylic and oil paints are beyond saving, as are the containers of oils and acrylic compounds once used to mix them. The bottles of solvents seem to have survived well enough for the most part, which is something, but…

Suns pokes around the vast storeroom a little longer, and finds…well, a great many things. It is the store of the largest arts guild in Septkai, after all. But most pertinent to the moment are the enormous, carefully sealed tubs of very expensive pigments. There are so many of them.

So much of it, Suns marvels, cracking open the seal on a container half their height, full most of the way to the brim with a dense blue powder. And a good thing, too. Making pigments like this from scratch…it would take materials and labour that simply don’t exist anymore. But with so much in storage, they’d need to do a truly prodigious amount of painting to run out.

“Here, look at this,” they say, beckoning Spearmaster close. “Be careful. This is a very rare thing, and once it’s gone, I don’t know where I’ll find more. But this is a blue pigment. You can mix it with various substances to create different sorts of paint. The ones in these containers can all be mixed with water, or certain oils, or certain acrylic compounds. They would create watercolour, oil, and acrylic paints respectively, ready to use.”

Spearmaster inspects the pigment, interested. “Which kind is on the walls?”

“Most of the murals in Septkai are oil or acrylic. It lasts quite well, under the right conditions,” they reply, but – their eye is caught on something. In the corner, over there. Is that a strongbox…?

Good saints, it is. They replace the lid on the blue pigment tub, then go over to investigate. It’s a miniature vault, old-fashioned in design, like the sort used to store money or extremely valuable items. If they hauled it to their engineering bays, they could cut it open, but…it might be too heavy for that. And it seems to be secured in place, anyway.

Suns frowns, then sits back to send a short range transmission to their superstructure, asking for information. The minutiae of the city’s records are not something they opted to keep in their limited memory storage, so if there exists any reference to this, it is likely to be in their greater self beneath, archived in case of future need.

“What is this?” Spearmaster inquires, following them over.

“A vault, or strongbox. It’s a kind of storage for very prized, very valuable items.” Suns waits, listening, and then- “Ah, yes. Thankfully, one of the city’s ascendants did think to include this in her last testaments. It’s in one of the pearls you found for me the other day, actually. Right then, a combination…”

There are in fact three separate types of combination on the little vault, and unsurprisingly, their controls do not respond very well. Suns has to force some of the parts to turn. But they input all the correct values anyway, and the door creaks open. Inside…

If they’d been organic enough for it, their breath would have caught. Even so, the sight leaves them awash in strange, conflicted emotion.

Within the vault are eight rows of small reinforced vials. Clearly visible within: the liquid gleam of true, sacred gold.

 [LIVE BROADCAST] PRIVATE Seven Red Suns, No Significant Harassment

SRS: All saints drowned, gone, and gilded…

SRS: You will not believe what I just found in Septkai.

NSH: Oh, you’re using the elaborate religious swears. This should be good. What did you find? A lost masterpiece, maybe?

SRS: …No, but that would be nice.

SRS: Void gold. I found void gold.

SRS: Sixty-four vials of it, perfectly preserved, in pristine condition.

NSH: Are you serious? Wasn’t that one of the most valuable substances the People had?

SRS: Moreso even than vacuum-refined void fluid, yes, which I suppose makes sense. It’s a by-product of the successful refinement process, produced in miniscule amounts. Incredibly scarce.

SRS: I can hardly believe my selfling’s eyes. They just transmitted the memory…

SRS: It was in a vault in the foremost artists’ guild in the city. I knew Septkai was wealthy, but…they could’ve sold the Grand Cathedral and the proceeds wouldn’t buy even a third of this cache. I should know. They used it to paint some details in my mural, after all, and some of the other most valued works.

SRS: When did they buy this? Why don’t I have records of it?

NSH: Could it have been illegal smuggling? You have to admit – no one’s city was above that sort of thing, not even yours.

SRS: That makes more sense than anything, at this point. What in the world was my artists’ guild involved in, to have this just sitting around inside a storeroom? I need to have a closer look at the Guildmaster’s pearl.

SRS: …Hah. No, she doesn’t say where she got it. But she apologises to me for ‘shameful greed and misconduct’ and says ‘certain items within my possession have been placed in a vault in the Artisans’ storeroom for safe keeping and preservation, ahead of my departure and ascension’. She never mentions the nature of the items in the vault at all.

NSH: Cagey even on the doorstep of her death, eh.

SRS: Evidently, yes.

SRS: There’s so much of it. I’ve only ever seen a single vial before. I’m still just so shocked.

NSH: Maybe I should start searching my own city, if there’s things like this to be found in there. One more use for a selfling!

SRS: Yes. Probably. I should search more thoroughly as well. I never expected…

NSH: What are you going to do with it?

SRS: What a question.

SRS: This vault would’ve put any one Person among the wealthiest in the world, once. Now…it’s just pretty liquid. Very holy pretty liquid, if you ask the People who made me, but…

NSH: The ‘sacred gold’, ha. I remember back when the wealthiest ministers tried to anoint themselves with droplets of it before they ascended, hoping it would make the void take them better.

SRS: Yes. I remember too. It was a very popular hope among the wealthy. I wonder if there was ever any truth to it?

NSH: Hard to say. It isn’t as though many People could ever afford to use it, and stories of echoes are hard to substantiate even on a good day. No sample size to speak of, no evidence.

NSH: But it does have a certain gravitas to it, doesn’t it? Even just as a concept.

SRS: Yes. Evidently, I’ve picked up more of that cultural conditioning than I thought. I shouldn’t be so moved by a few vials of very expensive refinery by-product, and yet…

NSH: What can it even be used for, other than painting? You must know, this is right up your alley.

SRS: …

NSH: Go on, you know you want to.

SRS: …It’s actually karma-reactive, as a substance. Tiny pellets of it, the size of a grain of sand, were used in the construction of karma gates. The ancient ritual sites above the void sea are thought to have used it, too – to make those fields that would only respond to the enlightened. The method was lost to the cycles, and karma gates are the closest equivalent the People ever managed to make. And that uses void gold.

SRS: It’s also impressively hydrophobic. It repels all sorts of chemicals, liquids, and substances – once it’s set on a surface, more or less the only thing that can remove it is a karma flower, and it doesn’t seem to fade. If you had enough of it to use as a coating, the practical applications would be nearly endless.

SRS: But of course, for our People, it was always too scarce for that. The ancients had some way to produce it in far greater quantities; naturally the method of that is lost to time as well. The evidence is clear, though. The subterranean ruins have entire murals done in nothing but void gold, and a lot of the buildings are probably still gilded to this day.

SRS: It’s a remarkable substance, really. The liquid never dries unless exposed to air for a setting period, but how long it takes to set depends on the karma level of nearby beings.

SRS: It’s how we know that we have something approximating a karma level, actually. Void gold dries fastest in an iterator’s superstructure near the General Systems Bus, the Primary Memory Conflux or equivalent, the Puppet Chamber, and so on. At each of the supposed hearts of our consciousness, there’s something that the void gold responds to.

NSH: You know, I never thought to wonder how they originally found out we had karma. It’s not like you can get our superstructures into a karma gate, after all. But it was void gold all along? I’d have never guessed.

NSH: Thanks for the history lesson, Seven Red Suns~ I can always count on you to know these things. Your databanks must be something else!

SRS: Hah. I’m honestly not much of a historian, compared to some. It’s the religious history I know best – we all have our interests, don’t we? I suspect I’d be impressed by how much simulation and genome data you’ve got in your can.

NSH: Well, you’re very welcome to visit and find out~

SRS: …

NSH: Not interested in my databanks, Suns? I’m shocked!

SRS: No, I…It just occurred to me that we’re going to have the unprecedented opportunity to access each other’s data directly. I could actually take you up on that offer. It’s physically possible.

SRS: Remember all those jokes you used to make? ‘You’re welcome to come to my can and check, if you don’t believe me’. ‘Oh, that’s far too personal to say over a broadcast! I’ll tell you if you come by my can sometime’. You used to drive Five Pebbles up his walls, you know.

NSH: Oh, I know.

SRS: And now, if you make one of those stupid jokes, it is actually technically doable to visit your can and call your bluff.

NSH: Who’s bluffing? ~

 Seven Red Suns transports a single vial of void gold back to their superstructure, and leaves the rest locked up in the vault. They’re not sure why they do it. There’s no point to having such a precious thing within their great body. But something about passing that vial to their puppet, hand to hand, of watching the sacred pigment glisten in the harsh light of their chamber…

It’s strangely affecting.

The odd mood persists into the next day, even as they consider what to bring to mix the paints with.

“A plant based oil, perhaps?” They murmur, mostly to themself, as they check their material vats. “Yes, I can manufacture that…or an acrylic compound, instead? Hmm…”

In the end, based on ease of use and quick drying – as well as suitability for painting their own structure – they elect to manufacture the acrylic. They scoop it into a decanter, oddly pleased at being able to do such a thing without a Person technician, then take Spearmaster back to the artists’ guild and its many pigments. Together, they mix replacements for the various paint sets that have gone hard on the shelves, Suns demonstrating how to mix the acrylic in with the pigment, stirring it carefully with a palette knife until there are no lumps remaining.

“And then we want to get it sealed in the pot quickly, before it starts to dry,” Suns says, capping their pot and setting it aside while they watch Spearmaster. The slugcat is impressively dexterous with the mixing knife, showing their long experience with skilled tool use. Suns passes the lid over when it finishes, and watches that pot receive its cap, twisting decisively into place. “Very good.”

It puffs up with pride, then makes enthusiastic grabby hands at the rest of the pots. Clearly, it wants to mix more.

“Just make sure to rinse off your palette knife so we don’t contaminate the colours – yes, there you go. Let’s mix a purple next, shall we?”

Between them, they mix a fairly comprehensive batch of paints, all quite small pots for now, but that’s plenty to be starting with. They pack them all up in a vaguely-intact carry case, add helpful extras like palette, brushes, and pot, then head back home.

“When try painting?” Spearmaster asks along the way, signs clumsy with their eagerness, and Suns laughs a little shakily.

“Right now, in fact,” they say, and direct the both of them along the regimented halls of their superstructure.

Not all locations will be suitable for this. The acrylic paints won’t interfere with electrical conductivity in their can, but it could confuse more chemical messaging within the more heavily biological areas. Thus they stay clear of any of the larger rooms and systems, keeping to the halls which only exist in the first place as routes for maintenance staff to traverse.

These long stretches of the superstructure are dull and empty, with nothing of colour or interest to draw the eye. Suns stares around as though for the first time, aware as they have never been how dissatisfying it all is. It is standard for an iterator’s interior, but it is also wrong.

My self should not be like this, they think, and it feels like a revelation.

They suppose the People never had the resources nor the wherewithal to think of designing an iterator to be beautiful, as well as functional. Already, their making was the work of generations. To make it artful too…no. It is understandable. Understandable also, that they would assume an iterator would no more gall at the appearance of their halls than a Person would at the interior of their blood vessels. A body part. That’s all it was, surely.

Suns feels differently, now. They suspect they have always felt differently, and it wasn’t until now, actually having the opportunity to amend it, that they realise the breadth of that truth.

“You’re more right than you knew, Spearmaster,” says Suns, lingering there in the empty hall. They will have to disable the artificial gravity for now; they aren’t sure how painting works in normal gravity, let alone this. “My interior does not suit me. Bleak grey metal at every turn…perhaps there is beauty in the rooms where my neuron flies dance and my circuits speak to one another, but in hallways like this…no. You have the right of it. This superstructure is a part of me, and I should make it a more welcoming home for my self.”

Spearmaster tilts their head uncertainly, then looks up and down the empty hall. “Decorate this?” It asks, not quite sure of the point. “Now? With what?”

“Paint, my friend,” Suns says, eyes squinting with a smile as the slugcat startles. “Yes, I brought you here for a reason. Let us both try our hands at painting here, shall we? I’m looking forward to it.”

Its ears rotate backwards. “Don’t know how!” It says, a little panicked. “Don’t want to make your body-home look bad!”

“Spearmaster, that is not even slightly a concern,” they say, shaking their head. “No, don’t worry a moment. You see, I’m coming to accept that I am quite a sentimental person, as Sig has been telling me lately. And what I would consider beautiful – no matter its appearance, or skill – is the first painting by your hands, immortalised here within my walls. Something I can cherish, even when you are long gone.”

The little creature listens, looking increasingly shocked, then buries its face in its hands and trembles. There’s a strain to it, like there often is in times of high emotion – Suns thinks it’s trying to make noise, a reflex expressive gesture, but it lacks the structures to do so. It hurts to notice, especially now, but… “That is very important,” it signs, when it finally raises its head again. “Thank you. Thank you. But I don’t want to do it wrong.”

“If you truly dislike what you paint, you can wait for it to dry and then paint over it,” Suns concedes, out of pity for its anxiety. “I’d rather you didn’t. But it’s a possibility, if you can’t stand the results.”

That calms it considerably, so it must have been a good move. “Oh. Then, yes. I do this. A picture, painted for you.” It hesitates, then pats at the carrying case full of paints. Obligingly, Suns helps it unpack everything. Paints, palette, and so on. They decant a little water into the brush pot and smile at it, unexpectedly thrilled. The closest their puppet has ever come to making art is to misuse their chamber’s projection software to make vague and chaotic patterns of overlapping screens. They have never expected something like this to be within their grasp.

Seven Red Suns has been watching videos of artisans at work since they were a barely-awakened consciousness humming along freshly-grown nervous tissue. Histories and images alike have made their home within their mind, filling every second with wistful dreams of shape and colour and the stroke of skilled hands upon a canvas. Always, they have admired this. Always, they have wondered what it would be like, were it their own hands.

For all the worship, all the adulation…Suns has never found rapture through the faith that built them. But kneeling here, in this meaningless corridor of their greater self, they put brush to bare metal and understand a little of how religion could stir the hearts of the People.

This is worth it all, they think, once and then again, again and again, full to bursting with the joy of creation. They open fully to their greater self, all of Seven Red Suns thinking together, existing together, becoming greater together. Two bodies sit side-by-side and put paint to the wall in quiet companionship, and it is a blessing greater than anything they have ever known.

If nothing else regarding the AMP project ever works out, it will still have been worthy. Just for this. Just for this alone.

The day wears on in glory. Suns finishes painting, and sits back to stare at the result with a strange and blissful sense of wellness pervading every process in their selfling form. It’s as though some bleak shroud, long forgotten and accustomed to, has lifted just enough to let a little light through. Spearmaster finishes somewhat later, while they are still processing, and they sit back to regard the wall together.

Somewhat predictably, they have both painted each other.

“…Thank you, Spearmaster,” they say softly, lowering a hand to put the paint pots aside. All their attention is on the art, now. A smile stretches wide across the artificial skin on their face, utterly beatific. “It’s lovely. I’m so glad to have it. It’s a true gift.”

The slugcat stares up at the image of itself, and trembles. Without a word, it presses itself into Suns’ side, worming under their arm and into their lap. Its chest rumbles warmly with the thin half-purr that is all it can produce.

They hold its little body close and smile. A true gift, they think again to themself, and look up at the work of two disparate beings upon the wall.

Something at the thought niggles at them. They pass it to their greater self to pay attention to later.

A gift…

 ---

X

 SRS: I shall train my selfling and prepare it for the rigors of travel in sensible, safe, controlled ways, like indoor exercise and slugcat tuition. Only when I have sufficient practice will I cautiously venture to the hostile surface world, and even then I will do it with a seasoned warrior accompanying me.

Meanwhile, NSH: lmao time to immediately jump headfirst into danger with no training whatsoever!! I’m sure it’ll be fine

Scroll down on my blog for SRS art in the design I’m picturing for this fic.

In this chapter: local art nerd discovers that doing art improves their mental health! More shocking news to come.

Void gold isn’t actually like, super plot significant or anything. I just wanted to give SRS a chance to enjoy infodumping at a buddy, so I vomited worldbuilding all over the document in their service. NSH for his part enjoys a good Suns brain dump from time to time and will deliberately prompt them when the opportunity strikes.

Canonically, NSH sent something ‘distasteful’ to an iterator using a purposed organism messenger. I headcanon that the unfortunate recipient of this content was Pebbles, which is referenced in one of the chats this chapter.

In Assembly, NSH is the original creator of vultures and king vultures. He may come to regret this.

There was originally an extremely depressing chatlog in this chapter but for tone and pacing reasons that’s probably next chapter instead. So like, look forward to that, I guess! Iterator angst™: coming to a fanfic near you!

Couple more chapters and we might kick at least one of these guys out of their can!

...Is the SRS/NSH flirty enough yet that it's worth putting the ship tag on ao3? 🤔 I'm avoiding tagging ships until they actually happen in the published text of the story, since I don't know how far I'm taking this and I don't want to shipbait people.

Speaking of, it's apparently aromantic visibility day today, so FYI: all of my iterators are aro/ace to some degree or variety. All the ships in this fic will be done in very queer non-amatonormative sort of ways and I'm very into it.

also if I get that far there's gonna be hella sunstone. jsyk

[elizabethplaid]

a fair number of notes - june 19th, 2024

-- Good counseling session today. Relayed some of the theories and conversations I've had with my dad and phone-friend. She noted that I expressed a lot less guilt than I used to, in previous years, regarding these "down swings".

-- Dad picked up Rx meds and a Dunkin drink for me. Came home right before counseling started, so I took comfort in my frozen drink.

-- Dad also installed the AC window unit in my bedroom. It was 93F today, so it's been very handy. The hottest it's been otherwise lately were a couple days of 84F.

-- After a post-counseling nap, we went to the grocery store. First time driving the "new" car, aside from just backing up in the driveway. It feels good, spacious; thin seat belt is unnerving.

-- --- Snagged some of my sparkling water and novelty sodas. Our main goal was our usual 2L sodas and a cucumber for pasta salad tonight. Ugh, just realized I forgot to get ice cream.

-- --- Dad messed with the AC controls, within 2 miles of driving home. I didn't say anything to stop him, because I thought we'd be home really quick. Nah, fuckin' distracting. Had to move the vents off me really really quick. I can't remember our exact words, but he apologized for being distracting. I said something to the effect of, "When I'm feeling this bad, pushing myself like this, everything is a distraction."

-- --- Really, I thought I felt okay until the air flow changed. When it did, I realized how thin a grip I had on things. But I had been confident and handled a lot of stimuli very well. And I'm still in good spirits!

-- For this excursion, I felt happy enough to throw on my jewelry, jeans, and one of my new bras. It fits well for the band, but the cups are small and squish me flat. Not bad for a lounging bra, especially for $10. It's comfy enough.

-- --- It's been almost 2 weeks, but I haven't cut off the tags from my new clothe yet. Need to do that and throw them in a load of cold laundry. Need to do laundry in general.

-- --- My goal is to do a bunch of little cleaning chores, bit by bit. Just clean the sink in one visit; clean something else in the next, etc. I'm tempted to make a list, to better organize my thoughts. But I'm already nibbling at things, so... I don't really -need- to make a list.

=========

-- Phone friend is fighting really bad allergies. They work outdoors, and the pollen provoked a really strong migraine. We've already discussed cautions of heat versus meds, staying hydrated, trying to stave off migraines. They've switched to new eye drops, and it seems to be helping.

-- --- Feeling sick and fatigued, we had to cut our last call short, and they skipped some of the morning/evening greetings. They worried about seeming too distant lately, and I'm like...

Really, I've been caught up in my own head, with all my sensory overload stuff. I'm chilling with my own vibes, feeling fine by myself. Never even occurred to me that things could be interpreted as us being a bit distant.

My reaction also reminded me of the apple juice story from Hannibal Buress. "... so caught up in the euphoria...," forgetting the practical reasoning.

I replied, explaining that we're good. I understand when life (and fatigue!) get in the way. I mean, I wanted to cancel this week's call, because my brain isn't good with speaking out loud. (I could hear myself talking in circles, repeating myself last week, because I space-out mid-sentence.)

=====

Anyway, thanks for sticking around reading all these notes. And if you didn't, if you just clicked "like" because you like me, that's fine too.

I started writing these notes for a few specific people, back when I was really depressed and withdrawn. Now, I write them to help me remember what I've been up to lately. As always, I really appreciate your support, friends.

[lino-lov3]

my side - b.c

two — (776 words)

MASTERLIST to be added to the taglist fill out this form!

warnings: swearing

content: crack, fluff

danceracha goes to the studio with chan and help sage & jenni set up the auditorium

a/n: filler chapter since i’ll be double updating tomorrow

This work is NOT to be copied, reposted, translated or plagiarized. Please remember to reblog and leave your feedback if you enjoyed it! - pls do not spam like! you will be blocked.

with the showcase being tomorrow night, danceracha, some of the art and design students and 3racha are going to be setting up the auditorium after school.

which also means you and the rest of danceracha are going to be practicing extra hard tonight. minho has been trying to perfect every move and even came up with a back up plan in case anything goes wrong.

sure, it was stressing you guys out. mainly because the showcase wasn’t just for fun, it’s actually apart of your finals for the semester. but it was still exciting. getting to dance in front of an audience always was for you. it was your dream to do it professionally, but this would have to do for now.

——

after your ap chem class ends and your free period rolls around, you start heading over to chan’s studio with minho, hyunjin, and felix. jisung decides to tag along as well since he had nothing else to do while he waits for his next class. he’ll probably stay until then.

“we’re all going to the auditorium later, right?” felix asks

“mhm. we’re helping jenni and sage set up a little bit and finish the rest tomorrow morning i think.” you reply

“ugh, do we have to?” minho groans

“why are you whining so damn much? all you’ll probably have to do is mic checks and moving props.” hyunjin rolls his eyes at the older.

“shut up. i wanted to take a nap before my next class.”

you pat minho on his shoulder, “min, chill. you’ll be able to take a nap after we’re done. we have a quick stop at the studio to listen to the tracks and probably pre record. then head over to the auditorium after school.”

“that doesn’t sound quick, y/n.”

“yeah, knowing chan we’ll be in the studio for a while. you know he’s a perfectionist.” jisung laughs

“yeah, yeah yeah. come on you four, let’s hurry then.”

—

you shot chan a quick text as the five of you headed up the stairs.

you: hey, we’re down the hall. make sure the door is unlocked

chan: 👍🏻

as soon as you get to the room, jisung swings the door open and plops himself down on the couch. it scares chan nearly half to death since he had his headphones on.

“uh, uh. how come he gets to relax!?” minho huffs

“he doesn’t,” chan answers “ji, get up. i need your help with something.”

“ugh, why?”

chan glares at him, “come on, ji.”

“fine.”

“okay, now that everyone’s in here i’m gonna play the tracks for you. let me know how you like them or if i need to tweak anything and then we can get started. good?”

the rest of you nod. each grabbing a seat and getting comfortable.

the tracks were all amazing, as to be expected. chan had made them so of course they were.

he had given you and the other danceracha members a packet with your lines and highlighted them accordingly.

there were going to be three songs the four of you would perform. wow, taste, and dawn.

they were all more of a sexy beat, which your dance unit favored. it gave felix the chance to show off his abs, hyunjin the chance to stun the crowd with his sensual moves and charming looks, minho the chance to show off his thighs, and you to throw ass if you wanted to.

wow and taste were mostly vocals and you had already heard previews of the lyrics ahead of time so you somewhat new what you were working with. and dawn was a short dance break to go in between those two. like the others, it was slow, sensual, and just your vibe.

chan was amazing.

—

you guys ran threw everything a couple times, pre recording vocals before finally calling it a day and getting ready to leave.

“damn, chan. these are great!” jisung complements

”wasn’t all me. they’ve got the vocals for it. i just write and make beats so what can i say.” chan shrugs

“all jokes aside, you four did great. can’t wait for the show.”

there was about 30 minutes before everyone needed to get to their next classes so you and felix decided you’d go walk around campus in the mean time.

jisung stayed back as planned, minho went to one of the common areas by his next class to nap, and hyunjin went to go meet up with one of his other friends.

“you wanna go off campus and get some food?” felix asks, not looking up from his phone.

“yeah, why not. we have some time to kill anyways.”

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽: @dadonbabysworld @lynanist @lix-ables @xhazmania @strayingawayy

PREV / NEXT

[lpsluvblr]

Ok so I want to show some of my LPS LGBT hdcs of the main pets cuz yes-

Zoe: Bi and GreyAce

Pepper: Pan and DemiGirl

Vinnie: Gay and Transmale

Minka: Pan, Asexual and Transfemale

Sunil: Bi and GenderFluid

Russell: Pan, AroAce and DemiBoy

Penny Ling: Bi, Asexual and NonBinary

I wanted to know some of your opinions on them, sorry if this is random😅

Oh My GoD YES!! thank you! I love this so much don’t ever be sorry yes send me things!! I do have to be honest with you though I don’t know all the gender things. I’m still learning about them so bear with me on that thought. 🫶😅

Ok let’s start with Zoe the Queen! - I personally see her as bi myself because in the show, she does have her little crushes, but she’s so flirty with the girls it’s so cute! oh I see ok yeah that makes a lot of sense too anon I like that umbrella term for her that so good honestly YES to this!!

- oh hohoho YES she loves everyone! I personally have had penny Ling in this category because she already has that personality to me but I can’t totally see pepper just being happy and being so chill and open about her dating life like she just vibes with anyone so her dating pool is HUDGE that second one just makes me think of her and Zoe that makes me so happy you don’t even know they spend so much time together anyway she knows her so well but I have also started to see more of her and minka being something more? That for another time though 💕 perfect anon perfect!

- The man of the hour now we all know this man is not straight so that first one just hits just right right on the money!! I’ve been seeing more people, head canon or draw him as trans and I have been on board with it just because it makes so much sense and he would just look so good even as a woman and his friends would be so supportive, and that just makes me so happy to see they’d see it coming from a mile away. The interest in different fashions, the make up, the long hair i’d also like to think that if there was a name change, Vanessa would be it because it’s so close anyway. 😊 or to be punny vinessa hehe.

- again this fits her she just likes anyone but yes minka would rather just like you she doesn’t really need intimacy to express that just having a lot of friends is enough for her happiness! Trans minka! It makes sense just like vinnie’s does! Everyone would support her through everything especially her bestie penny! What you’ve said so far just makes so much sense and now I think I love trans minka and much as vinnie ♥️

- again I personally had canon him as bi or gay so to me this this makes me so happy! I had to look this up to make sure I remembered correctly what it stood for and I have to agree with you again, because in all honesty, Sunil is one of those characters that I could see who would change themselves up, just depending on how they feel and I love that because Sunil can definitely be anything and it makes me so happy. what influenced me the most on this is also seeing him drawn as a her and realizing that they both look spectacular and I can’t help but hope that it keeps happening. I’d also like to hope that it would be an amazing confidence booster!

-for Russell I could see pan he definitely would just be fine with anyone as long as they loved him this second one though! I love this because he’s so caring and loving and motherly in his own way. I’ve always felt he has such strong feelings for the people he cares about, but he doesn’t know how to express them very much. It’s not necessarily a romantic attraction. This canon makes me happy because it fits him so well, especially in the show and just his personality in general like AAAAjgitrkckgkrofjcgkgk (my happiness) once I read it the Demi boy term is also him no one can change my mind now it fits its perfect and makes me happy!!

- and last penny the sweetest thing! bi penny yes of corse she deserves this title honestly because she is so flirty and so sweet I couldn’t see her being able to pick feelings for one or the other anyway so she just has both 😅 YES just like Russell her love is endless and platonic she just LOVES and her friendships mean the world to her!! See this one I haven’t thought about either, but I can see her being that and being kind enough to explain it to complete strangers, who ask I just love this for them so much!!! You don’t even know!!

Thank you so much, and I really love seeing other peoples perspective on these characters in such a little fandom!!! It brings me so much happiness, and I also appreciate the learning opportunity but seeing the genders next to the perspective, characters makes so much sense to me and helps me also put a name to how I feel about them as well which you have helped me do.💕 feel free to send me any more things that you would like or to talk to me anytime I am so willing to talk about all the things related to this fandom!!!

Sidenote, I am sorry if at any point during my responses, I did miss gender or anything like that. I wasn’t sure how to go about it so hopefully my responses are ok for you!! 🙂 I do also apologize if I did get anything wrong when it came to some of the terms, I was looking them up as I went to try to understand better so I could answer them properly for you, but I honestly love everything you sent me and every single one makes complete sense so I agree with you 100% on that!!!



[s-the-seething-songbird-2]

Logs for Thomas, Part 2: #5

Song stuck in my head: “Waves” by Robin Schulz and Mr. Probz

Hey, Thomas.

I’m currently in a lounge at my school, waiting for my boyfriend to finish packing up our stuff. We just finished doing something really fun related to his prospective career—I can’t go into specifics for safety reason—and it went really well! He was stressing about it earlier, but I told him that it would be alright, and it was.

I’m… not feeling great right now. I’m not the most outdoorsy person in the world, and I’m sensitive to extreme temperatures, so I’ve been chilling inside. In my defense, I did help him retrieve everything from the car, which meant we were on a significantly smaller time crunch than we would have been—not that he owes me anything for it, but maybe you can understand why he’s insisting that I’ve done more than enough today, all things considered.

But I’m safe, and semi-comfortable (I found out that I’m super allergic to a necklace I borrowed from my girlfriend), and all I have to do is wait.

Just wait. Alone. With my thoughts.

Yes, obviously, I’m never truly alone—for reasons that you already know but will not be disclosed here for my own safety—but I don’t want to talk to them right now. Truth be told, at the moment, I don’t really want to talk to anyone but you.

I’m having a hard time remembering how euphoric it was back then, when we were together. I know it felt euphoric because I documented the shit out of that part of my life via video, audio, and writing, but I can’t seem to feel it anymore, even when I’m lost in thought over the whole thing.

I can remember some of the pain just fine, unfortunately, but the warmth and excitement for that particular month of my life is just… gone. I can read it, and I can see it, but it’s so far away now.

Yes, I’m still capable of feeling happy and excited, but… This is hard to explain. Have you ever felt a certain “vibe” in a particular place and time? Like,,, okay, hold on:

Imagine it’s 2008. It’s warm outside, with wind chimes in the distance. Some clouds here, some tall trees there. Thick, lush grass that’s just been trimmed. You could play outside like this for hours. In this moment, you are this version of you. The feeling of being at this age, during this season, not quite aware just how large the space is around you. Life is just a blurry home video that spans a period of weeks or months, and you think that this is all your existence will be. It doesn’t occur to you that, within a yet or so at most, everything will feel different. You will feel different, you’ll be different. But for now—right now, in this moment—you’re alive. You’re self-aware. The air even smells “special” somehow.

That. You felt it, right? It’s like an aesthetic, but mentally- and emotionally-driven? That’s what I mean by “vibe,” which I know is an inept term to properly describe anything, but it’s all I can think to use. Maybe there’s a word for it in German or something. Maybe this is what ‘nostalgia’ is?

(Tangentially, the concept of nostalgia has always confused me. My guess is that past trauma has had something to do with it. When people say, “Man, don’t you miss being a kid, and playing video-games, and hanging out with your friend at reheat birthday party?” I’m like… No. I don’t miss it. I don’t miss it at all.

Sure, I remember experiencing those things, but there was almost never a moment in my childhood where I felt truly free and happy anywhere. Even the moments of temporary joy or hope were always overshadowed by the fear of getting in trouble, or doing something bad/“sinful”, or losing something I loved.

It makes me so angry to think about. Those lovely childhood memories that normal people relive have been robbed from me forever. I didn’t get a say. I didn’t get the chance to defend my peace, to defend my innocence. Like a sandcastle, it was just decimated right in front of me over and over again.

Sorry, I’m getting angry, and this has nothing to do with why I felt the need to—jesus, it’s almost been an hour, is my boyfriend okay? I’m going to check on him.)

Anyway, that “vibe” from autumn of 2018 is gone now. Maybe one day I’ll get lucky and feel it again for a couple of seconds, but then I’ll blink, confused by it, and then it may just disappear for good.

Why does pain always last longer than joy, Thomas?

Sometimes, I just… I just want to go back to that time. Even alongside all of the horrific bullshit I was going through. Just to feel what it felt like to be loved by you again. Just to have it, to remember it, to appreciate it one last time.

But I know it’ll only hurt me again once I open my eyes.

I want you here, Thomas. I want to introduce you to the rest of my friends, to my partners, to my sister. I want the world to know how important you are to me. But maybe that’s just the BPD talking.

I had a dream about Kai last night. They were wearing all of their clothes from high school, from that one photo on their Facebook. We somehow went to high school again after college and bumped into each other. We smiled at one another, and I said, “I know you might be mad, and I’m sorry. But I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.”

And they grinned and said, “I missed you too.”

And we hugged. We hugged, Thomas, and I was so happy. And it even occurred to me that if they were okay with me, now… maybe Shay was cool with me again, too. And then maybe, just maybe, I’d get to see your face again.

But I won’t.

And it hurts so bad.

I want that sense of family between all of us again, just as Jack does. But every day without any of you around, that hope grows dimmer and drifts further and further away.

It’s heartbreaking.

God damn it. God fucking damn it, Thomas, this is so unfair!

I know the world doesn’t owe me anything! I know that I’ll live through the pain! I know that I’ll probably feel better tomorrow! But it still hurts, and I miss you, and I wish we could hug and make stupid jokes and have a nice dinner with your and Shay’s pets! And you could crack jokes and make her laugh, and one of the dogs could try to steal my food when I’m not looking, and I could politely tell it no, and it could give me sad puppy eyes, so I’d feel bad and give it extra belly rubs later!

Ughhhhhhhhhhh I want to scream

Okay, sorry, I have to go now. But thank you for listening. You know, if you are.

Although, more than likely, I’m talking to no one.

No one.

Just me. Here. Alone with my thoughts.

-S