#child minders

[bildaddyanduziraphale-aremarried]

Childcare Available

In case they get the wiggles and can't sit through the ceremony, as well as supervision during the reception for parents/guardians who need a break so they can let loose! (Please note: your children will be given swords and taught how to use them.)

Child Tamers

@sitisonmyface @heartofawitch939

@loretta-dont-you-oppress-me

@dream-of-pain

@trainwreck-transgender-3dysporia (also decorating kids [species neutral])

Sword Training for the Kids (Human)

@ennonymous-twink

[laufire]

early 00s comics be like. everyone was SO mean to stephanie for NO reason.

[why-i-love-comics]

Stargirl: The Lost Children #6 - "Young Justice Society" (2023)

written by Geoff Johns art by Todd Nauck & Matt Herms

[kaiyonohime]

Tiny tot probably has hand foot and mouth disease, my coworker let another girl with it attend for two days earlier this week, so that's made for a fun weekend. High fever and sleepy and fussy, and we can't get an official diagnosis until tomorrow at the earliest.

On the plus side the new stroller arrived, and the seat can recline fully down so he can sleep in it. Which is amazing.

[mariemariemaria]

tumblrinas log on everyday to post about how "you should stop criticising the poor men dont you know that their feelings get hurt :(( you're so evil for that" meanwhile men have their full faces out on comments and reels they make about how women are selfish whores and the ones who work and dont have 6 children are causing the Downfall Of Society while the ones who dont work and want to be stay at home mums are Greedy Lazy Golddiggers. The ones who want a "traditional" woman will then complain about how men are only valued for their wealth and even the men who say that actually a woman isnt gonna drop her job just to be with a "traditional" guy who earns fuck all, only wants his wife/gf to work because then the financial burden is split more evenly (though I doubt he does his fair share of the housework). You all need to wake up fr. Stop protecting these men. Stop underestimating the sheer amount of brainwashing theyve gone through because of porn, patriarchal religions and misogynists like Andrew Tate.

[witchblade]

i mean i guess the biggest difference is that they just completely got rid of the servant role entirely there’s not a single servant in the game they just reallocated their female character quota and put the three female characters that were servants into other roles 

[slogthor]

Additionally children in social media are not actors and not protected under Coogan’s law (Jackie Coogan was a child actor who’s parents spent the millions he made before adulthood, now 15% of child actors’ earnings must be put in a protected trust)

There’s a bill in Washington state to provide children vloggers and influencers with protections and another in California but the CA one would only apply to videos over an hour long and the WA is broader. Corn Kid is his family’s breadwinner and doing sponsorship and advertisement deals. I’m not saying he specifically is being exploited or abused it’s just a current example but any kid in his position deserves legal protection.

for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal

before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"

and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"

[sachildmindingservicenewham]

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[lightasthesun]

Comprehensive Lexicon Guide for First-Time SW Fic Readers:

Flimsi/Flimsiplast = Paper

Flimsiwork/Datawork = Paperwork

Stylus = Pen

Datapad = Tablet

Comlink/Comm = Communication Device/Phone

Binders = Handcuffs

Chronometer = Clock

Spectacles = Eyeglasses

Chrono = Watch

Conservator = Refrigerator

Caf = Coffee

Nerfburger = Hamburger

Blue milk = Milk (literally blue)

Hubba chips = French Fries

Sweet roll = Doughnut

Flatcakes = Pancakes

Tabac = Tobacco

HoloNet = World Wide Web

Holovision/HoloTV = Television

Holodrama/Holovids = Movie/Videos

Holocamera/Holocam = Camera

Holomap = three-dimensional map

Holojournal = Newspaper

Holocube = Picture frame

Holotable = Projector

Holoscanner = X-ray machine

Holojournalist = Reporter

Flatholo/Holograph = Photograph

Sonic Damper = Active Noise Cancellation

Refresher/Fresher= Bathroom

Sonic Bath = Bath

Sanisteam/Sonic shower = Waterless Shower

Hydrospanner = Wrench

Hydro Flask = Water Bottle

Power Cell/Energy Cell = Batteries

Authorization Chip = Decryption key

Datatape = Disk

Datastick = Flash drive

(Personal) Com Code = Phone number

Datachip = SD Card

Synthflesh = Synthetic skin

Glowrod = Flashlight

Sparkstick = Match

Slugthrower = Gun

Slug = Bullet

Vibroblade = a blade that can vibrate at high frequencies, increasing its cutting power and penetrating ability (tactical knife)

Rangefinder = Rifle scope

Turbolaser = Cannon

Ion pike/Vibropike = Spear

Electro Staff = Stun baton

Blaster = Pistol/Rifle

Stun Blaster = similar to a Taser

Landspeeder/Airspeeder/Speeder = Car

Turbolift = Elevator

Slideramp = Escalator

Starfighter = Fighter jet

Rotorcraft = Helicopter

Hoverpack/Jetpack= Jet pack

Speeder Bike = Motorcycle

Skylane = Traffic lane

Railspeeder/Hovertrain = Train

Power Chair/Hoverchair= Wheelchair

Windscreen = Windshield

Podracing = Car racing

Dejarik = Chess

Sabacc = Poker and Blackjack combined

Galactic Rebels = Combat simulator

B'shingh = Dungeons and dragons

Jizz = Jazz music

Wailer = Singer (ie. Jizz Wailer)

Cantina = Bar or Pup

Para Sailing = Paragliding

Aurebesh = Alphabet

Credits = Money

Sleeping Pallet = Bedroll

Naming Day = Birthday

Youngling = Child

Galactic Basic Standard/ Basic = English

Medkit/Medpac = First aid kit

Hypo = Syringe

Medic/Healer = Doctor

Medcenter = Hospital

Bactapatch = Bandaid

Nanoweave = Fabric

Transparisteel = Glass

Plastifoam = Packing material

Durasteel = Steel

Plasteel = Plastic

Duracrete = Concrete

Slicer = Hacker (slicing = hacking)

Identikit = Passport

Minder = Therapist

Synthleather = Vinyl

Viewport = Window

Cooling Unit = Air-conditioning

Honeydarter = Bee

Slythmonger = Drugdealer

Spice = Drugs

Stimpill = Caffeine pill

Power Socket = Plug

Cutters = Scissors

Cycle = Day

Standard Cycle = 24h

Standard Week = 5 days

Standard Month = 35 standard days

Standard Year = approx. ten months

Tenday = literally ten days

Cigarras/Smokes = Cigarettes

Click = Kilometer or 'a moment'

Parsec = a unit of distance

Tweezers/Clanker/tin head/tinnie = Droid

Separatist = Seppie

Promise Ring = Wedding Ring

Body Glove = Jumpsuit

Slicksuit = Wet suit

Civvies = Civilian clothing

Carbonite = a metal alloy used to freeze a person in a state of hibernation

Hyperdrive = device that allows a starship to travel faster than lightspeed

Moisture vaporator = device that can extract water from the air, commonly used on tatooine

Glareshades = Sunglasses

Gasser = Gas Oven

Repulsorlift = technology that can create an anti-gravity field and is used for levitating heavy objects

Heating unit = Heater

Utility Droid = Roomba

Sunbonnet = a Clone trooper helmet

Bad Batcher = a defective Clone Trooper

Banthabrain = birdbrain/ a stupid person

Bantha fodder = waste of space/nonsense

Blast! = word of exclamation

Blasted! = s.o in anger or annoyance

Blaster-brained = dimwitted

Blaster fodder = cannon fodder

Blast off = Piss off

Brainless = Stupid

Bug/Bugger = used to refer to Geonosians

Forceforsaken = godforsaken

Full of Poodoo = full of shit

Poodoo = Shit

Kriff = Fuck

Jedi scum = derogatory term for jedi

Kark = derogatory expletive

Larty = LAAT/i gunship

Laserbrain = insult

Meat droid = derogatory term for Clone Troopers

Redrobes = Palpatines guard

Rookie/Shinie = newly recruited Trooper

Scum = insult to refer to bounty hunters/rebels

Sharpie = Sharp-witted

Sithspawn/Sithspit/Hellspawn! = expletive

Sleemo = Slimeball

Son of a bantha = insult

Wizard! = Cool

Spaced = dead

Hutt-spawn = Bastard

Karabast = exclamation of dismay

Stang = Crap

Buckethead/Bucketbrain = derogatory term for Stormtroopers

Bucket = Helmet

Nat-born = Natural Born

Roger Roger = affirmative/copy that

Droid poppers = EMP grenade

Sitrep = short for situation report

Backwater Planet = any planet that isn't part of the core system

Holocron = device that can project a three-dimensional image of a person/object and is used for communication or entertainment.

Kessel Run = a risky Operation. Commonly used as a metaphor in impossible situations.

Thermal Detonator= device that can create a powerful explosion like a grenade or bomb

Ray Shield/Energy Shield = creates a (protective) barrier

Rebreather = device that allows a person to breathe underwater or in toxic environments

Phrases:

Wild goose chase = wild bantha chase

That's bantha shit = that's bullshit

As slippery as a greased Dug = untrustworthy

Credit for your thoughts = penny for your thoughts

Cut the poodoo = cut the crap

to get your gills in a twist = get upset about something

Holy mother of meteors = holy mother of god

Oh my skies/ Oh my stars = exclamation of surprise

Stars' end! = exclamation of disbelief

What in the blue blazes = exclamation

When Geonosis freezes over/When it snows on tatooine = extremely unlikely

Who pissed in your power supply = who pissed you off

Blast it = damn it

By the maker = exclamation of surprise

Great karking Dragon = expression of disbelief

Lothcat got your tongue = equivalent of 'cat got your tongue?'

Sod it = expression of frustration

[softshuji]

Can't gotta stay here it's fine though, she'll be fine.

-Shion

You're sure? If you're sure I'm sure. Last thing we want is a kidnapped baby eh? You haven't told anyone about her right? You've kept her a secret ?

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Four — Azriel x Reader

Summary: It’s Solstice! Reader decides she should probably be honest with Azriel about some stuff. Things don’t quite go to plan.

Oof. Okay. This could be uncomfortable reading for some. There are some hints and depictions of domestic abuse and also of alcoholism, so if that’s something that might trigger you, please, please do not read this. The last thing I want is for my writing to be harmful to anybody. Read with caution. Take care and put yourself first. Lots of love.

Also, please don’t hate me for this 😭we know I’m a hoe for angst and it wouldn’t be one of my fics if there wasn’t some sprinkled in there lmao.

Word Count: 5k.

Warnings: Depiction of abusive behaviour. Heavy drinking. Some violence.

On a brisk winter morning, when the sun hasn’t yet graced the sky, the last place you wish to be is at the Windhaven crèche, watching over a group of tired, grouchy younglings. Every second thought that passes through your mind is a longing one, lamenting on how desperately you wish to be back in your bed.

But alas, you owe your friend, Vegha, a favour, making you the sole minder of ten restless little girls, all annoyed that their brothers get to join their fathers for training, while they have to stay back and be…girls. A downfall, according to most Illyrian males.

You’re supposed to be watching over them for a couple of hours while Vegha runs an errand. And that time is going very, very slowly.

You’re in the middle of reading a storybook — and, yes, doing all the voices — when the door opens behind you. You feel a glimmer of hope that perhaps Vegha is back earlier than planned, but when you swivel on the child-sized chair you’ve perched yourself on, it’s Azriel who looms in the doorway.

And you…your heart does a silly little thing in your chest.

“Don’t let me interrupt.” He says. “I can wait.”

Your eyebrows flick up in amusement. “Come take a seat, then. It’s story time.”

His lips twitch, and he goes to reach for one of those infant chairs — which you’re not at all sure can handle all his muscle — but this sparks a flurry of complaints from the girls, who all insist that they want to sit with Azriel the most, and within seconds, he’s cross-legged on the floor with the children somehow managing to settle around him without bickering, and they’re all able to command his attention at once.

Happy mediums, and all that.

Your gaze lingers on him as he does all the right things; leaning his head down so he can appear less…huge, while listening with rapt attention to one of the girl’s chattering; steadying another one as they climb over him to get themselves seated; gently telling them all that they have to be quiet if they want to hear the rest of the story. That, of course, achieves immediate near silence.

And thus begins an entire performance of you continuing the tale, and the girls — and Azriel — responding in all the right places. They howl when they’re supposed to make the sound of a wolf, and roar when it’s a mountain cat, and you don’t miss that Azriel helps the tiniest of the girls to remember which animals make what sounds.

Most males in this gods-forsaken place are an intimidating presence to these children, frightening them into silence whenever they’re around, because girls are supposed to be seen and not heard. But Azriel is always gentle, always kind, and they adore him for it.

It’s a combination of all these things that force you to face a truth that’s been rapidly snowballing inside your mind and heart for the past four days — something has changed. Shifted. Has been shifting and changing for a while.

You laid awake for hours that night in the dormitory, listening to Azriel’s breathing as he slept deeply, happily sated from the pleasure you’d given him. Your mind had been too much of a war zone for you to drift off.

Nine years, you’ve called this male your closest friend. Ever since the very first day you’d met him, when a group of males had pushed you to the floor and kicked mud at you, and he’d jumped in and defended you for no other reason than that he’s good to the bone. Nine years, you’ve been by each other’s sides, and it’s been comfortable and familiar and just…right.

But now — now, you think you may have jeopardised that all by going along with Azriel’s request for help. Help with kissing. Touching. Experiencing.

You’ll always want to help him in any way that you can, of course. But you didn’t quite anticipate the predicament you now find yourself in. That you want all of those things and more, not just under the ruse of building your friend’s confidence. You want to explore more with him, feel more with him. You’ve been able to think about nothing else for days.

And it might make you a total wretch, but you want Kaeda to be a distant memory. The thought of Azriel taking what you’ve shown him, shared with him, and putting his all into somebody else��it sours your stomach. Makes you feel sick.

Makes your heart hurt.

And, well, you’re fucked, really.

It’s a kind of hurt that won’t go away on its own. It isn’t avoidable nor ignorable. And so your only option is to confront it, be honest about it. Whatever the outcome may be.

The story comes to an end, and the girls are calmed and sleepy enough that they look ready to curl up on the floor and doze off. Azriel peels himself away from the cluster of clingy children and stands up, strolling over to you.

“Well that was fun.” He comments quietly, taking the book from your hands. “Who knew I was so adept at doing animal impressions?”

“One of your many talents, I suppose.” You smile, drinking in the sight of him. He looks tired this morning. Tired, but beautiful. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

His expression sobers slightly, and he tells you, “We’re leaving this morning. For the training exercise.”

Immediately, your stomach churns. Being away from your friends sets you on edge. Windhaven is a lonely, lonely place to be without the love of Rhys, Cassian and Azriel to warm you. And not even Rhys’s mother is here to make it a little more bearable.

Az immediately recognises the bleakness that passes your face. He steps closer, his hand a gentle brush against yours. “I’ll be back for Solstice.” He reminds you yet again.

“I know.” You attempt to force an easy, breezing smile. “What’s the plan for Solstice, anyway?”

Normally, Rhysand’s mother would cook a meal in the cottage. You wouldn’t be able to attend, given that you’re always stuck at home with your father, but by the time he would pass out drunk, you’d sneak out and make it to the cottage just as the games were starting. Some of your happiest memories are of being curled up on one couch with Az, Rhys and his mother on the other, and Cassian stood in front of you, making a terrible attempt at playing charades.

But it’ll be different this year. With the High Lord keeping a tight leash on his pregnant mate in Velaris, there will be no meal, no charades. You, Azriel and Cassian would most certainly not be welcome at their intimate family celebration.

“Rhys will spend the day in Velaris.” Az tells you. “Cass and I will be getting drunk. There’s a celebration being held at the dormitories in the evening, so I suppose we’ll all end up there.”

You dip your chin. “I’ll come and find you there, then.”

His responding smile is a gentle one; one that says he sees right through you, right through to the panic that’s eating away at you, and he understands.

There’s no way he sees everything that you’re feeling, though. Perhaps that’s a good thing.

Your body goes slightly rigid as he dips down and presses a kiss to your forehead. His hand squeezes yours, and then he’s pulling away. “See you on Solstice.”

He bids a quiet goodbye to the dozing girls. It’s as he’s heading for the door that you find yourself stepping after him. “…Az?”

He turns, hand on the doorknob. “Yes?”

“There’s…something I need to talk to you about, when you get back. Something I need to tell you.”

Okay. Shit. You’re really doing this.

Azriel’s eyes rake over you, and then he smiles. “We’ll talk on Solstice.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Your head’s not all there today, as you stare out of the window of your father’s forge. Azriel and the others have been gone almost a week, and you’ve spent every one of those days thinking about how you’re going to tell him…whatever it is you’re going to tell him.

You’re not even certain, yourself.

Just that…that things are different. That you know, to begin with, that this was about him and Kaeda — but it’s shifted in your brain at an alarming rate, and now that you’ve shared something so…so meaningful, with him, you’re not sure you can go on acting as though it was all just a favour.

Yeah. That should do it.

And it’s a huge fucking risk, of course. There’s every chance he won’t return the sentiment, and then a giant wedge of unresolved feelings will exist between you.

But you need to — perhaps selfishly — confront this before things between him and Kaeda progress. In case there’s a slight chance that it’ll alter the path it’s heading down.

And you haven’t thought any further than that.

The snow has started again, and you watch the flurries sweep past the window and join the thick layer on the ground. You’ve become so accustomed to the noise of the forge that you hardly notice it anymore — not the constant clanking, nor the heat that the fires swathe the shop in. You used to beg your father to teach you his craft, to allow you to get stuck in and get your hands dirty, but he’s always stubbornly maintained that it’s a male’s job, and that he needs you for the bookkeeping. You’re surprised he trusts you with that.

You breathe a soft sigh, your thoughts once again flitting back to Az. To what he might be doing, thinking, feeling. Whether he misses you as much as you miss him.

But before those thoughts can take a hold of you and sink you deeper into your predicament, the door opens, the bell above it ringing and a gust of cold air momentarily biting you.

It’s rare for females to come to the forge. Very rare, indeed. Which is why, for a second or two, you just stare.

That — and because she’s incredibly beautiful.

Her eyes — the colour of emeralds — sweep the workshop, before landing on you, and she smiles. She has the telltale tanned skin of an Illyrian, but instead of the dark hair that’s so typical around here, hers is red — not orange, not auburn, but blood red. You’ve never seen a shade quite like it.

And if that’s not enough to completely bowl you over, your gaze rakes over her clothing, and you stop, stunned.

Females around here wear homespun dresses of simple brown shades. A few, like yourself, favour basic tunics and breeches. Clothing is just a necessity, not something you lend much thought to.

But this female wears Illyrian leathers. Never, in your life, have you seen females wear Illyrian leathers. It’s simply not a done thing.

But she looks resplendent in them.

They cling to supple curves and accentuate a figure that you don’t think you’d ever be able to achieve with any amount of training. And perhaps the most shocking thing of all — and the most enviable — is the presence of brilliant, beautiful wings at her back. Unclipped. Untouched. Unruined.

How your wings might have one day looked, had your father not destroyed them.

You’re not entirely convinced that an angel hasn’t just stepped into your father’s forge. Or perhaps this is the Mother that everyone worships. Part of you wants to worship her, too, and beg her to bestow upon you her blessings—

You snap yourself out of it before you can fall head-over-heels in love with her. She’s just a customer.

A very, very beautiful customer.

“Good day to you.” She says, approaching the counter. Her voice is like pure music.

You incline your head in greeting. “And to you. Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m interested in having some gifts made for my father and brothers. For Solstice.”

Once again, you’re gawking.

Another thing that’s unheard of; females liking their family members enough to have gifts made for them.

You clear your throat, blinking out of your thoughts. “What…what kind of things were you looking for?”

“Personalised daggers.” She answers, and then she grins in a way that makes you want to tell her your life story, and leans closer. “A male can never have too many daggers, right?”

You breathe a laugh. It doesn’t sound natural. “Absolutely.”

“I’ll be needing three. One for my father, and one each for my two brothers. Can that be done in time for Solstice? I can pay extra…”

This female has beauty, leathers, wings, a relationship with her family members, money. She’s magnificent. A few exchanged words, and you’re awed by her.

Who is she? How have you never seen her before?

“It can be done.” You tell her with a flustered smile. “I’ll just need to sit with you and get some details of exactly what you want made, and then my father will get straight to it. I imagine they’ll be ready for collection by Solstice Eve.”

Her eyes light up in a way that reminds you of sunrise. “That’s perfect.”

There’s a second or two where you just…can’t help staring. Her beauty has knocked you speechless.

But once again, you snap yourself out of it and try to retain some semblance of professionalism.

“Can I take your name down?” You say, and clear your throat again. Gods, you hope you’re not blushing. “For the order.”

You grab a piece of parchment and a pen, hoping you’ll remember how the fuck to write.

“It’s Kaeda.” She says, and the pen nearly slips from your hand. “Kaeda Baralas.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Solstice morning sweeps in just as abruptly as the fresh onslaught of snow that once again batters the camp.

It’s going to be a rough one. You can feel it in your bones.

You dread it every year, but this year is made even worse by the constant stream of thoughts that have been plaguing you over the last week. About whether telling Az about your feelings is a good idea. Not just because of what it could do to your friendship, but because…

Because you can’t deny that since seeing Kaeda in the flesh, you’re doubting yourself more than ever.

Of course, you can see why Azriel would want her. And why he’d want to be good and experienced for her. And you…you’ve been facilitating that. You’re the practice dummy. Kaeda is the real thing.

At least the chaos of Solstice keeps you busy.

You wake early, and from the noise and foot traffic outside your bedroom window, you know Az’s unit has safely returned from their training exercise. Your relief is short-lived, replaced by the dread of your father hitting the bottle.

Every year is the same. You spend the day trying to focus on your preparation of the huge meal you’re expected to cook, while your father knocks back drink after drink and gradually gets rowdier. You tell yourself that the more he drinks, the better — he’ll fall asleep eventually, and you’ll be out of here.

But then the front door bursts open.

It’s four of your father’s friends who pile into your cramped home, singing at the tops of their voices and reeking of booze. You’re only just able to stop one of them knocking a pot of potatoes off the counter with a careless, wayward wing. They barely acknowledge you, filing through to the sitting room to greet your father. Their voices get louder, and an ache is building behind your eye.

Day bleeds into late afternoon. You try to ignore them, to focus on the task at hand. Cooking is usually enjoyable for you, but with an unwelcome party happening in the next room, you find yourself getting more and more stressed.

By the time your father bustles his way into the kitchen and begins sniffing around the food, you’re close to losing it.

“Isn’t it ready yet?” Your father rudely demands.

You stare out of the kitchen window, at the dwindling light of approaching evening, clenching your jaw. “It is. I’m waiting for your friends to leave.”

“They’ll be eating with us.”

You whirl on the spot. “We don’t have enough food for that.”

“I told you we’d have guests.”

No, he absolutely hadn’t. This is a power play. He does shit like this all the time. Backs you into corners.

“I bought food for two people.” You snap, unable to stop yourself. “Not six.”

Your father’s nostrils flare. You know that look on his face a little too well — the one where his cheeks redden and his eyes turn cold. It’s always, always made your stomach lurch.

He steps closer, and you press your back against the counter, trying your utmost not to look intimidated.

“You’d better rectify that, hadn’t you?” His tone is deceptively gentle. “Be a good girl and find a way to make the food go around six people. You wouldn’t want to ruin Solstice.”

It’s a veiled threat. One you’d be wise not to ignore.

So you stare at him and he stares at you. And when he eventually nods and leaves the room, you turn and try to work out how to make a meal for two a meal for six.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

The mountain of a male beside you jostles your chair so violently that you almost fall out of it.

His hand grabs a roast potato from your plate. He shoves it into his mouth, chews, and grins. “You weren’t going to eat that, were you?”

The entire meal has been like this.

Perhaps it’s your ice-thin temper that has you staring him right in the eye; a thing many Illyrian males consider a great disrespect from females. “Would it matter if I was?”

He swallows and swipes the lone, remaining potato you hadn’t planned to touch. “Not really, no.”

The dinner is usually the only part you enjoy of Solstice. A meal that you spend hours perfecting, of slow-cooked meat and roasted potatoes and a colourful array of different vegetables that are cooked to perfection. It’s the one part of the day where you can just sit and breathe, because even your father doesn’t usually have a bad word to say about the meal you’ve presented.

This one has been pure, unadulterated hell. 

To accommodate your unwanted guests, you’ve skimped on your own food, barely affording yourself a couple of mouthfuls. Wine and ale has been spilled across the table, and the conversation around it has only grown more and more uncomfortable — and vile — as the night has worn on. You want nothing more than to get out of here and find your friends, but your father and his cronies show no signs of slowing down. 

You sit, staring emptily at the plates, the little remaining morsels of the meal you spent all day cooking. You try to block out the laughter and jeering, the disgusting comments, the blatant disrespect, but it’s all getting to you, riling you up. You’re not sure how long you’ll last without snapping.

Your answer comes when your father looks at you. And he snaps his fucking fingers at the finished plates. 

“Clear this up, Y/N.” He says. 

You know your father. You know what he can be like, the damage he can do. Your ruined back is evidence enough. And you know the wisest and safest thing is for you to comply and rant about him to your friends later.

But you’re far beyond that point.

You meet his gaze, and your jaw ticks as you shoot back, “Why don’t you clear it up yourself?”

You regret it the second the room falls deathly silent. All the noise is gone in an instant. Every face is looking your way.

But it’s your father’s face you’re concerned with.  The expression that tells you you’ve made a grave, grave mistake. 

“What was that?” His voice is quiet. Too quiet.

You look away. Wish you could cram the words back down your throat. “Nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing.” The male beside you sneers. “You speak to your father like that, girl? If you were my child, I’d string you up by the remains of those wings you never should have been born with.”

“I’d do a lot worse than that.” Another one remarks, a sickening laugh in his voice.

Throughout it all, your father is staring at you. Saying nothing.

“Did it hurt, anyway? Having them ripped off like that? I bet it did. I hope it did.”

Your final straw is when the pig at your side has the audacity to reach around and touch your back. You tense immediately, and you’re shooting up from your chair, knocking it over as you do.

“Don’t ever lay a finger on me again.” You will your voice to be stronger, firmer, but it won’t comply. You shake as you gather the plates up in your hand. “I’m cleaning this up.”

That’s met with a chorus of laughter, a pelting of comments. You tell yourself to block it out, block it the fuck out, balance as much as you reasonably can in your hands and book it into the kitchen. You dump the plates onto the counter and grip onto the sink basin, trying to draw in deep, slow breaths.

But then there are footsteps behind you. And the kitchen door closes. And you know that’s not good.

“Y/N.” 

Your eyes shutter. You release one of those useless breaths before you dare to turn and face your father. 

And when you do, his face is…soft. Eyes filled with concern.

But you’re not stupid enough to buy it. 

You’re taut as a bowstring as he approaches you, stopping inches away. He drinks in the sight of you, tilting his head. You wait for him to tell you that you look just like your mother — a fact that only contributes to his vitriol. As if it’s your fault that she abandoned him, abandoned both of you. 

He thinks it is.

His hand touches your cheek, his thumb sweeping the skin there. You swallow, hoping he can’t feel the way you tremble beneath him. 

“What’s gotten into you, my girl?” He asks quietly. “What did I say about not ruining Solstice?”

You swallow. Lower your gaze. “I thought it would just be the two of us.”

“Do I not have the right to invite my friends into my home?”

“I’m just saying that a little bit of warning would have been appreciated. I didn’t spend hours cooking a meal just for your friends to come along and ruin it.”

“Your attitude has become insufferable. Perhaps it’s those three males you’ve been spreading your legs for. Giving you too much of an ego boost.”

You almost want to laugh in his face — laugh at his cluelessness. But your anger wins. Maybe you’re more like him than you ever thought.

“Or perhaps, father,” you snap, “it’s an accumulation of anger and desperation after twenty years of living with a repulsive, sanctimonious—”

He strikes you so hard that for a moment, you’re simply stunned as to why you’re suddenly on the floor. But the thwack of his hit rings in your ears, echoes through the kitchen. 

And then the metallic taste of blood is coating the inside of your mouth. It’s streaming down your chin, and you’re not even sure where it’s all coming from, only that it hurts and your eyes are stinging. 

Your father stares down at you. And in that moment, you realise that the eeriest thing of all is that he never glares at you. You think you’d prefer that.

He always stares with that emptiness. That icy vacancy. It makes his actions more unpredictable, more dangerous. 

He lunges down so suddenly that you flinch, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. Your legs don’t want to comply as he shoves you towards the door.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” He hisses at you, ripping the door open. “Go on. Fuck off, just like your mother did.”

And then he’s shoving you into the snow, a plume of it erupting around you. You hardly notice the cold. You’re too stunned.

Not stunned enough, though, to refrain from biting back at him. Just like a threatened animal would. 

“Fuck you.” You sneer, the words contorted by a mouthful of blood that you spit onto the snow. “Fuck you, father.”

The bastard laughs in your face. Just as he’s always laughed in your face. And then he kicks snow at you because he can and steps back into the house.

When the door shuts behind him, you push to your feet. You’re trembling all over. It might be the cold. It might be the shock.

There’s only one person you want to see right now. So you wrap your arms around yourself and head towards the dormitories.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Halfway through trudging across the camp, your shoes sodden with snow, your lip still bleeding, the emotions begin to hit.

You resent them. You resent feeling anything at all towards the male who is your only blood relative in this hollow, hollow place. The one who took your wings. The one who has tried to keep a firm grasp on the control he has over your life.

But you do feel things. Hurt and rage and humiliation and — bizarrely — betrayal. As if some small slither of hope had followed you from childhood into adulthood — that your father would one day miraculously awaken as a different person. A family member worth holding onto.

He never would.

No, your true family has always been the small, loving group that crams themselves into a cottage across the camp; a place of warmth and welcoming.

Rhysand and Cassian and Azriel. Rhysand’s mother, too. They are your family. They have always cared, since the moment you met them.

It’s for that reason that you persevere with your walk, even though you’re frozen to the bone. You think you might be crying. You’re not too sure anymore. Your friends will make it better. They always make it better.

The dormitories glow in the distance; a welcome sight, for once. You kick through the snow with desperation, and you’re definitely crying, definitely shaking all over, but the sounds of the celebrations coming from inside are a relief. Playful jeering and someone strumming a lute and off-kilter singing.

You push your way through the door. Inside is as crowded as you expect it to be, but you don’t even care. Anywhere is better than at home.

Your eyes — not really taking in much at all — scan the corridors, the common area, looking for any of your three closest friends. You see none of them, but a hand lands on your shoulder, and you turn to find Vegha there. Her eyes widen immediately at the state of you. You dread to think how bad you look.

“Y/N, what the fuck?” She blurts. “Why are you bleeding?”

“Fell over.” You know how stupid it sounds. “I…I need to find Azriel. Have you seen him?”

“Oh, I think he skulked off to his room a little while ago. Everyone knows he hates big parties like this—”

Perfect. You’ll hole up in his room together and block the rest of the world out. You’re already turning and pushing through people. You’ll apologise to Vegha for your rudeness later. Right now, you just need Azriel’s comfort, his love. The conversation you planned to have with him tonight is now a distant memory, an issue to confront later. You just…just want him. He always makes everything better.

You don’t notice the drink that gets spilled on you, or the disgruntled groups of people you have to shove through. None of that matters. Azriel is your family. He matters.

Finally, you make it to his room. The soft glow of faelights shine beneath the door — an indication he’s inside. You almost sob with relief as you grab the handle and burst in.

Two faces immediately look round at you.

Azriel’s.

Kaeda’s.

Kaeda lies on top of him, hands either side of his head. Her lips are swollen and inches from his. Azriel is palming at her waist, holding her against him. They’re both fully clothed, but…but you get the sense they wouldn’t have been for much longer, had it not been for your interruption.

Azriel drinks in the sight of you, his chest heaving. He blinks. You…you’re rooted to the spot.

And you fucking wince as Kaeda sits up slightly. Az’s hands fall back to his sides.

The beautiful female eyes you, tilting her head. And you want to get out of there, to fucking run, but you can’t do anything but stand and blink as something shatters inside of you.

“The shop hand from the forge.” Kaeda states in surprise, as if it’s ludicrous to consider that you might sometimes venture outside of your father’s workshop. “What happened to your face?”

Azriel is finally springing into action, then, sitting up and scooting out from beneath Kaeda. “Y/N…”

You cannot bear the gentleness of his voice. It may just finish you off.

All of this might. Staying here a second longer might.

So you, for some reason, shake your head and back slowly out of the room. Azriel lurches up, but you’re grabbing hold of the door handle firmly.

“Sorry for interrupting.” Your voice is all wrong and fractured. You quickly shut the door before it can morph into a sob.

You think Azriel might call after you, but it’s probably wishful thinking. You don’t know. Don’t know anything. Don’t know what to do next.

So you simply walk away.

You suppose you’ve taught Azriel everything he needs to know.

azriel tag list: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @jjlevin @smitty-werbenjagermenjenson @spikertrash @kindagoldylocks @barbiezambie @kht1998 @soupghoul @nyctophiliawitch @gracie1234567891011 @gaymistakeboi @luvmxo @rinalouu @microwaveallthedemons @starlightshowdown

[koiiiji]

✧˖° — windbreaker men & their nasty, perverted habits

✧˖° — mdni, smut, description of not safe for work content.

✧˖° all characters aged up ° ˖ ✧

idk why app let me add only 10 pics, so pls sorry, i added mostly rare characters✌���🥹😭

HANDSY! vinny

who is always seeking for your attention and physical touches unintentionally. vinny isn’t a big fan of showing feelings on public but he would keep his hand when hugs you by the waist suspiciously close to your ass or boobs. when you two in private, be prepared for a lot of ass spanks and vinny’s nimble hands to be all over your body under the shirt.

SPYING! jay jo

filthy motherfucker who would rather die then admit that he want to fulfill some sexual tension. so he would do everything, but not initiate sex - spying on you while you in bath, or his favorite, when you taking shower and and he can watch how streams of water flow down your hair, down your back, going lower and lower, and clouds of steam create some kind of obstacle, not allowing to fully enjoy the view, but still leaving an intimate picture that he is watching as if mesmerized, from behind a half-closed door

WHINY! min u

min u sometimes moan as a joke when you in hangout together, for example when you slap him on a shoulder after another joke, or when he accidentally hits his hand on a table or corner in your presence. AND he is super vocal in bed, like super super… even if he is on top, his voice go wild sometimes, when he's already euphoric and you're both chasing your second or third orgasm.

DIRTY MINDER! noah

noah thinks about sex in general and sex with you almost 24/7. she not thinking about it only when training and cycling, even in her sleep she saw dreams about having sex few times. she thinks about poses you two can try, about how you would look like under her or on top, or how it would look like in the mirror reflection, or if you try handcuffs, or if…. it’s always on her mind. she likes to experiment, as long as you comfortable with this, but even if you not, she would try to talk about it and comfort you into her experiment.

HORNY! harry

here is a little bit different from noah. harry just wants to have himself inside you, make love with you, hold you, rearrange your insides, all kinds of words that describes fucking. he is not thinking about experiments or things he want to try, he just want to be inside you. especially, he likes after training or after race sex, when he is still full of adrenaline and came to you to relieve himself. it doesn’t matter to be rough and aggressive sex, no, he hates to give you pain. yes, sometimes he likes to be a little bit rough but mostly he stops himself unless you saying him opposite, so mostly it’s just such a passionate sessions of making out, preparing, sex, and after care when he’s already calmed down, rubbing your back and humming softly.

PANTY STEALER! hwangyon

pervert. even though you two in relationship don not wonder that you won’t find your underwear after sleepover at his place. and if on this weekend you decided to stay at your place, don’t wonder if you won’t find pair of thong in your closet, this nasty whore definitely woke up earlier and took pantie to his pocket. it is not necessary for him to do something with them, but hwangyeon will definitely wrap them around his dick and will jack off, so when he finishes he will took photo of your panties covered in his cum and send it to you. you will phone him right after receiving photo and yell for stealing your new pair.

BREEDER! sangho

sangho likes the idea of having wife and his own small family. just him, you and your swollen tummy where will his own child come from soon. (and no annoyingly loud siblings) he likes to be on top, in control, and the idea of impregnate you makes him feral. thought about your fertility, and that he is actually able to make you a child, makes him feel that strange sensation in his lower abdomen, as if a knot is being untied. of course firstly you two had a talk about it, and both probably agreed on having protection initially, but god damn, sangho always cumming harder after imaging you having his child.

[illubean]

Hi hi, can u please 🙏 make headcanons about a Acrobat/contortionist!reader? with Chrollo+Illumi, (gender doesn't matter.)

Illumi & Chrollo W/ a Contortionist!Reader

Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer Type: Headcanons, Gn!Reader

came out pretty short sry >.<

Warnings: none i guess

Illumi Zoldyck

congrats, you're now his sneak in assistant on jobs

your flexibility/hypermobility makes it easy for you to squeeze yourself into tight places and since he's Illumi he's gonna exploit your abilities...

even though he's literally a fearless murderer I still think watching you bend and fold in ways no human should is a teeny tiny bit unsettling for him

like if he walks in the room and you're practicing your freak shit he will turn around and leave

if you do it out of nowhere to get on his nerves he might scrunch his nose the slightest bit and take a step back

and if you ask him if he's freaked out he'll just be like "no, you're just ugly" 🧍‍♂️

Chrollo Lucilfer

meh, he's seen worse

growing up in a poor city that basically doesn't even exist you end up seeing a lot of weird shit on the daily, and being in a gang probably makes it worse

so he's indifferent to your shenanigans

will be like "oh that's cool" and go about his day

your dynamic is very much "hey Chrollo, watch this" then he claps and gives you a nod of approval

much like a child to an adult but whatever

I think Chrollo is a professional business minder so you could be doing back flips or bending and shit in the same room and he will just continue whatever he's doing without batting an eye

[megalony]

You Belong With Me

This is a new Dark! Evan Buckley imagine based on an amazing request, I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: When Evan finds out he has a daughter he never knew about, he makes sure he is in her and (Y/n)'s lives. He missed two years of her life, he won't miss anything else. At any cost; they will be his again.

(Thank you for all the Dark! Buck ideas, please keep them coming)

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the kids running about the place made Evan's heart swell and had his lips pulling into a wide grin. He could feel adrenaline shooting through his system at the endearing sight of all the toddlers trying to be careful. It always seemed strange to Evan that in a panic or a bad situation, children were always calmer than adults.

They had no knowledge of these situations, no life lessons or reasoning or understanding to know what to do or what this meant. And yet, toddlers, children and young kids on their call outs were always the most well-behaved and calm out of all the groups.

Adults cried and panicked and ran around like headless chickens, but children were almost like soldiers waiting for orders.

When Bobby told all the kids to stay with an adult or a buddy and leave the room calmly, all these toddlers did as they were told. They were piling out of the room, hands clasped together, child-minders leading the way and ushering them out.

The building next door to this nursery had suffered a gas leak and as a precaution, they had to evacuate the nursery too. Parents were here to collect their children and everyone was leaving in an orderly fashion, despite Eddie confirming there was a gas leak in the kitchen that was spreading fast.

Evan stood by the door, watching each child that headed out the room to make sure they were alright. He nodded and grinned down at them, waving every now and then when one of them looked up at him. Evan preferred nurseries to schools. The kids were toddlers or very young children, it was a more relaxed environment with no uniforms and they could play and use their imagination.

Evan knew if he wasn't a fireman, he would liked to have been a teacher or something to do with kids like this sort of child-minding.

He waved to another child, but his head snapped to the left when he heard Hen calling out to him.

"Hey Buck, you've got a mini-me over here."

His eyes scoured the last five toddlers being led away, but his blue orbs landed on the little girl clinging to Hen's hand.

She was young, she couldn't have been more than two, three at a push. Her hair was spiked into ringlets and coming out of a bobble like she had been electrocuted. She had on a lovely blue dress that cast in frills around her stumpy legs hidden in black tights. Her little grey shoes flung out as she kicked her legs when she walked like she couldn't bend her knees.

But it was those eyes. Those eyes which had the matching shade of blue to Evan, and thick black lashes. It was the way her nose curved at the end and had a tiny bump in the middle like a bump in the road, absolutely matching Evan like a clay double.

It was her thin lips and the way that when she smiled- despite not understanding the situation- her lips quirked up to the right, similar to Evan's own bashful smile.

Matched with the pointed chin she had, the little girl mirrored Evan almost feature for feature.

Evan stood aghast, staring down at the little girl who was looking up at him with wide eyes and a toothy grin. She stretched her hand out towards him, despite not knowing who he was but the black and florescent yellow jacket must have made him look safe to her. She must have an understanding that a fireman was a safe person to be around.

Without a delay, Evan stretched his gloved hand down towards her and let her hold his hand rather than Hen's. He found himself enamoured, staring down at her while he slowly guided her out of the room and towards the reception where parents were desperately trying to find their children.

"Ella!"

"Mummy." The little girl looked between her mum and the fireman at her side, a cheeky grin still plastered on her face before she let go of him.

Evan's hand hovered by her back and he followed her, not wanting her to wander off or become lost in the flurry of panic and scattered people. But when he looked up to see who was taking her hand, his weight fell on his back foot and all the air evaporated in his lungs.

Oh God. It was her. (Y/n).

He stared, jaw dropping down towards the floor and his pupils taking over the expanse of his eyes while he watched her take the little girl into her arms. She didn't see him at first. Not until she stood up with the little girl on her hip and when her eyes locked on him, an audible gasp resonated from her plump lips.

She recognised him too. She recognised him, despite not seeing him for over two years now. And Evan recognised her too.

He remembered the girl he had been searching for, the girl who spent one night with him and seemed to disappear into thin air. He had looked for her, he searched the bar where they met and all surrounding places, but he couldn't find her. All he had was her first name to go on and that wasn't very much indeed, but he never gave up on finding her.

On finding the girl whose dreams aligned with his own, who was as desperate for a family as Evan was. The girl who shared his ideals and laughed at his jokes and made him feel so warm and at home in the little time they had spent together.

And here she was.

Evan could feel his feet moving without his command, stumbling to take him towards her while she stood frozen to the spot, locked down in shock. Before he could get close to her, a hand curled around his arm and he felt himself twisting to the left, stumbling in the direction he had just come from.

"Eddie found the leak, let's go shut it off and clean this place out. That's all the kids and personnel, safely outside now." Bobby's voice barely registered in Evan's ears as he patted Evan's shoulder and pointed towards the room they needed to walk through to get to the kitchen.

He didn't seem to realise that Evan was in shock, desperate to go and talk to the girl who haunted his dreams and the little girl who resembled him so much. Bobby didn't see the fight happening within Evan's mind or the fact that his body wanted to work on a different agenda. He simply handed Evan his gas mask and led the way.

Evan couldn't see her anymore. She had vanished in the throng of worried parents and confused yet delighted little children. And amidst the crowd he was staring at as he unwillingly followed Bobby, he heard Hen's voice, distant through the blood pumping through his ears.

"She looked just like you."

Indeed she did. Could she be his?

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The way she bit her lip made Evan's chest tighten and he could do nothing but watch the way she brushed a loose strand of hair back behind her ear, staring at him as if she wasn't sure where he had appeared from.

(Y/n) allowed her eyes to dance up and down the stranger who took the seat at the bar beside her.

He was handsome. The white shirt he wore seemed two sizes too small for him. It made his shoulders bulge out against the material and the short cuffs over his biceps looked like they were digging into his muscle like a turniquet trying to cut off his circulation. He had a broad, hard chest and high-waisted black trousers pulled tight over his hips.

His hair was the colour of brown sugar and formed soft waves that were swept to the back of his head.

Those eyes were the deepest shade of blue (Y/n) had ever seen and they looked glossed over as if they were crafted out of clay and paint that hadn't had chance to dry. His lips were a dark shade of rouge and when he darted his tongue out over his lower lip, (Y/n) found herself taking a sharp breath.

"Um, sure." Her head nodded along and she tried to keep her voice level and train her eyes on his radiant smile so she didn't give away the fact she had just drank him in from head to toe.

She found her breath catching in her throat when he leaned closer to her which made his arms tense and bulge out. She watched, enamoured, as he studied the glass in front of her and the alcohol remnants and when he ran the pad of his finger around the edge of the glass and found sugar, he grinned.

"Two martinis please."

Something told (Y/n) that was more than a lucky guess; he had probably been a bartender at some point. Given the way he was studying the glasses and how his eyes ran over each ingredient the barman reached for to make the drinks.

Evan felt his breath hitching in his throat when she folded her arms on the bar and pushed forward on the edge of her chair. It made her hair cast near her shoulder and pressed her chest out which made Evan struggle with the inner desire to look her up and down.

She was wearing a dark navy blue dress that hugged every curve on her figure, and the thin straps were close to sliding off her shoulders. He could see her foot swaying back and forth, rocking and shimmying the small black heels on her feet like she was waving daggers around for protection.

"I'm Buck."

"(Y/n)."

She nodded her head at him, trying in vain to hide her smile when he slid one of the drinks towards her when the waiter set them down.

"What brings you here?" He couldn't help but ask. There weren't many women here alone, and he couldn't see her looking for a friend that may have slipped off to the toilets.

"Got tired of sitting at home by myself I guess… what about you?" It had been another boring night for (Y/n). She couldn't find the will to stay in and stare at the same four walls again, not when she could head out and see what would happen. See if she could bump into a handsome stranger, like this.

"I don't know, thought I might try my luck meeting someone new."

Something told Evan to wander into a bar and have a drink. Going home to an empty flat wasn't appealing. He and his last girlfriend had parted on rather bad terms, and Evan couldn't deal with sitting wallowing in self pity tonight.

All the guys he worked with had steady relationships, some were even married or had kids. Why couldn't Evan have that? Why did he have to miss out because the right girl never seemed to find him? All he wanted was a family, someone to connect with and settle down with. He wanted something that seemed impossible for him, but easy for everyone else.

Evan found himself smiling at the girl sitting beside him.

As they talked, he felt himself relaxing more and more, and not just because of the drinks they were having. He found himself leaning into her, nudging their elbows together, smiling along with her. Their faces inched so close their breaths were intermingling together. He could feel each laugh floating into his lungs like he was getting high.

He could become intoxicated on that smile and laugh.

(Y/n) wasn't sure how long they had been sat at the bar, but it was long enough for the bartender to switch shifts with someone else and for the music on the dance floor to get even louder.

She loved the way Evan leaned his head on his arm and grinned over at her. He suddenly looked so childish and carefree and overall charming, even after however many drinks they had downed during the evening. All she knew was that they seemed to have connected. They got along like a house on fire, so to speak.

They had both just come out of bad relationships. They both thought they were at that point in their lives where settling down looked like it was on the horizon. They wanted a loving relationship and a family of their own and somewhere that really felt like home rather than a room to sleep in.

Evan wasn't sure where the sudden burst of adrenaline came from, but he leaned forward before he could think better of it and connected their lips.

(Y/n) reached her hand out to cup the side of his neck, as if making sure he wasn't about to pull away from her too soon. She felt his tongue prodding at her lips, asking for entrance while his fingers curled around her thigh as he leaned so close to her that he was in danger of falling off his stool.

When he pulled back, (Y/n) tipped her forehead against his and heaved to catch her breath back. She could feel his breaths fanning against her lips and his lower lip started to swell from where she had sank her teeth down into it.

There was a hooded look in his eyes and his lips curved up into a widespread grin that felt infectious.

"Wanna come back to mine?"

(Y/n) leaned over until her free hand could slide over Evan's knee and shift along his thigh while her lips captured his. She felt his leg jump when she squeezed his upper thigh and leaned closer until she was about to fall off her chair and directly onto his lap.

He had stolen the words right out her mouth.

***

With another compartment checked, Evan slammed the door shut and stormed around to the other side of the fire truck. The clipboard in his hand was starting to get finger marks imbedded into it from how tightly he was crushing the plastic in his grip. He could feel it starting to bend to his will, and Evan wished the universe would do as he pleaded and back down to his will.

He was starting to lose patience. Three days now he had been thinking of (Y/n) and that little girl and the more he thought about them, the more his mind cemented everything for him.

He had to find them, but he couldn't exactly turn on the nursery doorstep and ask if someone called (Y/n) took her daughter there. They would call the police. He would look like a stalker. Besides, he didn't even know her last name. All he knew was her first name and what she looked like, and the little girl she had who he suspected looked very much like him for a reason.

He snapped open another compartment in the truck and started to rummage around through the cannisters in there with such haste that everything began to topple over. Evan was two seconds away from throwing the clipboard at the wall before something caught the corner of his eye.

She was here.

(Y/n). The universe had listened to him. It had heeded his warnings and listened to his demands. She was here, now, in the station, right when he thought he was going to combust at the thought of not finding her and that little girl again.

"Buck?" Her voice was timid and quiet and he watched her eyes glance around the station like she thought she might be interrupting or not wanted here. When really, it was the total opposite.

Evan found himself smiling in her direction, despite the frustration he had been feeling a few seconds ago.

He jogged over to her, clipboard discarded on the side of the truck, and he ushered her over towards the lockers so they would be out the way and more free to talk without bystanders listening in. Evan had done his best the other day to pretend that Hen's comment about the little girl hadn't bothered him, but the whole team could see his mind had been somewhere else since then.

And there was no one he could talk to or open up to on the team, not yet. Not until he knew for certain if his suspicions were true or not. And Evan didn't want their advice. He didn't want Bobby's wisdom or Eddie telling him to be patient, bide his time, take things one step at a time.

Evan wanted to know now and he wanted to go into full throttle if he was right and that was his daughter. He wouldn't be taking things slow or tiptoeing around. He would blunder through this situation as he saw fit.

"Hi." Now she was here, he didn't quite know what to say, and it was clear she felt the same.

(Y/n)'s hand tightened around her bag that was looped on her left shoulder and she switched her weight from foot to foot. She danced her eyes around Evan's frame for a few seconds, debating where to look and how to approach this subject but she truly didn't know where to start.

She had seen on his helmet at the nursery that he worked for the 118 station, and it had taken her three days to pluck up the courage and to find the right station to come and see him. She had to see him. She had spent the last three years wondering where he was and wishing he would pop up out of the blue. Now he had appeared, there was no way she could turn this chance down to find him and talk to him.

"How are you? You look well." He looked different to the last time (Y/n) saw him. His hair was a bit longer, and he had sideburns this time. He seemed taller, but that was probably just (Y/n)'s hazy memory from the one night they spent together. His frame was definitely muscular to the last time they met too.

"That depends…" Evan tried to smile, but he couldn't make his smile reach his eyes no matter what he tried to tell himself.

(Y/n) bit the inside of her cheek and nodded, urging him to continue because she wasn't sure she could find any words right now. She managed to lift her gaze to meet his eyes, becoming enthralled by those ocean blue orbs that looked close to tears.

"Your little girl… is she mine?"

The pain in his voice was evident and it made (Y/n) cringe. She adverted her gaze down to the thick boots cladding his feet, noticing how they gleamed with polish in the artificial light.

She couldn't control how meek and defeated her voice sounded when she spoke. "Yes."

Her eyes lifted to see the way Evan croaked and his hand dragged along his face and pinched around his jaw. She could hear his shoulders clicking into place when he rolled them back and let his head fall back to stare up at the ceiling like some sort of God was about to make things better for them.

"Fuck. Two years. I've missed two years of her life." His voice rose in pitch and (Y/n) couldn't help but wince.

He had a daughter. He had a little girl who would be two years old now, and Evan had missed everything. He missed the scan appointments, the sound of her heartbeat. Those first kicks and movements, the birth. He hadn't been there to cradle her at night or settle her to sleep or give her her first feed. He hadn't witnessed her first words or seen her take those first unsteady steps and he hadn't taken her on her first day to nursery.

All the important things, everything he wanted to do when he thought about having kids, it had all been and gone and Evan had no idea it had been so close within his grasp.

"Buck I tried." (Y/n) raised her hand to swipe the tears away from her eyes, feeling a deep rooted urge to do the same to the tears trickling down Evan's face, but she didn't have the nerve.

"Evan. My name's Evan."

"See, how was I supposed to know that? I searched for you, but no one knew who 'Buck' was and I had no number or last name to go by. What was I meant to do? Advertise everywhere that the guy I had a one night stand with got me pregnant?"

A month after their one night together, (Y/n) found out she was pregnant, and there was no doubt that it was Evan's baby. But she didn't know his real name, she didn't have a last name or a phone number to contact him on or even a profile page to go to. All she had was that one night in a bar and the apartment he had rented month by month and by the time she went back there, she found he had moved on with no forwarding address.

There was no way for (Y/n) to find him or contact him and tell him she was going to have his child, and she searched everywhere she could think of. She always thought of him and wondered where he might be and what he might be doing, but she had to get used to the idea of raising her daughter alone.

"I looked for you. You're the one who left-"

"I got a call, I had to go. Evan I'm sorry, but we've found each other now, and I want you to be in Ella's life- if that's what you want." She had to leave in a hurry and in her haste, (Y/n) didn't leave her number and she stupidly thought they had exchanged numbers the night before.

It was her biggest regret, not hanging around to leave her name and number. She would never forgive herself for leaving in such haste.

"Of course that's what I want. I've missed everything with her so far; I won't miss anything else." The determination in Evan's took (Y/n) by surprise, but it made a smile form on her lips nonetheless.

Had she really believed he wouldn't want to be in Ella's life? Had she come down here to give him the curtesy of knowing he had a child, but thought he wouldn't care? This is all he ever wanted. Someone he had a connection with, someone he thought he could spend the rest of his life with, and kids with said person.

Now, he had two girls in his life, who he should have had in his life for over two years. He wasn't going to let them disappear again. This time, (Y/n) was staying in his life, and so was their daughter.

***

A grin spread across Evan's face when he looked down at the little girl currently swinging their entwined hands back and forth. Her tiny hand was engulfed in his and every now and then he would glide his thumb across the back of her hand. Both soothing her and releasing the excess energy he always had about him.

Evan liked how Ella would kick her legs when she walked, she looked like a clockwork figure as she only seemed to bend her knees when she was running. She stayed glued up into his side, every now and then leaning her head on Evan's leg like she was reassuring herself that he was still with her.

He thought that meeting Ella properly and trying to instate himself into her life was going to be a challenge. Evan thought he would have to work hard to prove to her he was someone to trust, someone who would love her to the end of the Earth.

But it seemed that as soon as she met him, she attached herself to him. She trusted Evan completely. She let him take her out, take her on drives and to the park and carry her around. She was happy whenever she was with him and she had been agreeable from the start to call him her dad. As soon as (Y/n) said this was her dad, Ella smiled and that's what she called him.

"Here we go," He murmured softly, nudging the back of his hand along her cheek when he guided her to the apartment door. He gave a polite knock before trying the door he already knew would be open.

(Y/n) was expecting them.

Evan had taken Ella out for the day and he was finally bringing her home to (Y/n), not that he wanted to leave her. At all. And he wanted to be around (Y/n) for as long as he could, he hadn't spent any time with her today and he was craving to have her within his sight as if he were suffering from withdrawels.

Once Ella kicked off her shoes, she did a little run but she squealed when Evan swooped his hands beneath her arms and swung her round in the air.

"Where'd you think you're going, girlie?"

He loved the way she squealed and the sound of her giggle which was so cheeky and all over a match for him. He hoisted her up and cocooned her against his chest so he could pepper a few kisses to her cheek while he walked into the apartment. He glanced his eyes around, cuddling Ella into him until he found (Y/n) bustling about in the kitchen.

"Delivery." He stated quietly, moving his arms up and down to motion to Ella who held her arms out so (Y/n) could come over and give her a kiss.

"Hi baby, did you have fun?"

"Yeah. Daddy stay?" Ella tilted her head back onto Evan's shoulder and grinned up at him while he looked over at (Y/n).

"Sure, daddy can stay for tea." A bright grin lit up (Y/n)'s face when Evan nodded and Ella squealed. They seemed to have had a fun day and it only seemed right to let Evan stay over for something to eat. He didn't have anywhere to be, (Y/n) knew that. And she had an inkling that he would be more than happy to stay and put Ella to bed later.

Evan set Ella down to her feet, kissing her cheek before he mumbled a soft "Off you go," knowing she was tired and would most likely go and snuggle down on the sofa until tea was ready.

Once she toddled off, he advanced round the kitchen island until he was stood beside (Y/n). He peered over her shoulder to see what she was cooking. Spaghetti.

"Need some help?"

"I think it's almost done- oh, whatever you did with the boiler last time… could you work your magic again? The water isn't getting hot again." She ticked her head to the side to indicate to the boiler cupboard in the corner of the kitchen.

Last time Evan came over, he had fixed the problem within two minutes when the hot tap didn't get any better than luke warm.

"Sure."

(Y/n) felt his hands on her hips as he weaved behind her to get to the corner and while he worked, she took a few moments to observe him. He looked so calm and in his element. The smile didn't leave his lips and it made her stomach flutter with adrenaline.

All those times she thought about how things would go if she ever found Evan again and introduced him to Ella, she always thought something would go wrong. She thought there would be some sort of draw back, that maybe Ella wouldn't take to having a dad or that Evan wouldn't be interested or would find it hard to adapt to fatherhood.

It had been the total opposite. Evan was eager to do whatever he could, for both of them. He wanted to be involved, to pick Ella up from nursery, to have her and be around them both on his days off. He called every day to check in on them both, his eagerness and love wasn't wavering in the slightest.

He was head over heels for both of them.

"It's the pressure that keeps going… might want to get the landlord to take a look." Evan double-checked that the pressure was going back up before he closed the cupboard and moved over to the sink to check the water.

"Given any luck he might take a look by Christmas." (Y/n) grinned as she placed a few bowls on the counter. When she turned round and noticed the hot tap was finally spitting out hot water, she leaned over and pecked Evan's cheek. "My hero."

"You having problems with this place?" Evan folded his arms over his chest and pushed his hips back into the counter next to the sink. He tilted his head back and looked around for a few moments while a few thoughts started to circle round his mind.

"It's not exactly falling apart, but it's getting close."

(Y/n) had picked this apartment because the area was safe and compared to other flats she had looked at, this was the best one. Nothing was really broken, but the boiler was on its last legs, there were cracks in the walls, the plumbing wasn't great and sometimes the pipes leaked.

But this was better than an apartment on the other side of town that wasn't a safe area. And this was better than being on the tenth floor of a grubby building, so (Y/n) counted herself lucky. And this wasn't a forever home, this was just temporary until she found a better home, preferably a house, for her and Ella.

She busied herself dishing up the spaghetti, making sure not to add too much into Ella's plastic bowl as she knew the toddler would be more tired than hungry right now. But she almost dropped the bowl when Evan's next words registered in her ears.

"So why don't we get a place together?"

"What?" She set the bowl down before her hands started to shake and she lost her grip. Her hands moved to run up and down her waist and her eyes lifted to look at Evan, but he looked deadly serious. He wasn't joking her around or being cynical and somehow, he looked like he had already given this much more thought than just a passing idea.

"Well, you said this place is only temporary, and I wanna be there for everything with Ella. And you… I want to be with you." He pushed off the counter and moved over to her until (Y/n) was leaning back into the kitchen island and his hands gingerly reached out for her hips.

When she didn't pull away or push him back, his hands squeezed her flesh and he leaned closer until their chests were touching and the tip of his nose was touching hers.

"Evan, I- I don't know… that's a big step." It wasn't like they had been together years or even months. This wasn't something to just agree to and see how it goes, both of them had to think about this and see if it would be a good idea for them, for Ella.

(Y/n) would admit that she had become close to Evan since they found each other. This month of getting to know him properly and seeing how natural and eager he was with Ella proved to (Y/n) that having him in their daughter's life was the right choice. And it would be a lie to say she hadn't thought about seeing if Evan's lips tasted as intoxicating as the first time they kissed.

But she didn't want to rush into anything and make a mistake. If they found they weren't good in a relationship, it would ruin things. It would be so confusing for Ella to have them all move in together only to then change and move apart again if it didn't work out. They had to have a stable environment for Ella.

"And Ella, say we did move in together, all three of us and it didn't work. That would be confusing and damaging for her."

"I don't think that would happen. I think we both know there's something between us, something electric, and I want to have that with you. Think about it, you wouldn't be alone bringing her up anymore and I can properly be there for you both. I want to be her dad and have us all be a functional family."

"I guess…" It was definitely something to think about, they could trial it and see if they could get along together, maybe have Evan stay here with them for a while and see how they went before they took this big step. And they would have to try a functional relationship together without just moving in first.

"You told me when we met that you've always wanted a family, and that's all I ever dreamed of. We can have that. You. Me. And our girl."

It was clear that Evan loved Ella, and something about the way that he looked at her now told (Y/n) he felt the beginning of love for her too. It seemed like (Y/n) was on the right path to falling in love with Evan too, and surely that counted for something.

(Y/n)'s knees almost gave way when Evan pressed his chest down onto hers so much that she could feel his heart thumping away in his chest like a rabbit. She could feel the heat radiating off of him and the yearning when he swooped down and attached his mouth to hers.

It felt like sparks were flying around them. Evan kissed her like it was the most natural thing in the world, as if they were meant to be together. As if they had been together for years and had already fallen into a rhythmic dance of life together.

Evan couldn't help himself when he smiled into the kiss and slid his tongue past her lips.

He could feel it in the way she gripped his shoulders that she had already more or less agreed. Things were finally going his way. He had found someone to be with, and they had an instant family now that he knew he had a daughter. They could move in together and have the family they both yearned for, and Evan wouldn't lose either of them again.

There was still a fire burning within his chest at the thought of what he had missed out on already with Ella. But he tried to calm that raging fire with the knowledge that he would witness so much more. He would take her to school on her first day, he would be there if she fell and he would be here with her if she had nightmares. He would never miss anything in her life again.

And if (Y/n) was going to be with him, he could be there for what he had missed out on with Ella. He wanted a big family, Ella was no doubt the first, she wasn't going to be their one and only child.

They could have kids together and do the process properly this time, Evan could be there when (Y/n) went to her first scan. He could hear the heartbeat, feel the kicks and see the way (Y/n)'s body changed and her stomach grew. He would be there for the birth and witness the things he had missed out on this time. They could have a big, happy family together, and Evan wanted that to start as soon as possible.

Being around Ella was just making Evan's heart yearn for more. He wanted a baby in his arms, he wanted kids, so many kids. Looking after Ella and finally being in her life just assured him that this is what he wanted. And he could feel something stirring deep within him at the thought of (Y/n) getting pregnant again.

This kiss was just the beginning. Evan was going to make sure they had the family they always wanted; the family he had almost missed out on.

The universe had given his girls back to him, and he wasn't going to let anything ruin this.

***

(Y/n) made sure to be careful closing the front door behind her so she didn't disturb the little girl in her arm. She leaned her cheek on top of Ella's head that was laid on her shoulder. The toddler had both arms loosely draped around (Y/n)'s neck and a lilac dummy between her lips.

Once the door was quietly shut behind them, she walked through the hall and aimed for the stairs. She jostled Ella in her arms as she headed up to the little girl's room.

Ella had been ecstatic to learn that they were all moving into a house together and she had been so happy when Evan let her help him paint. She had chosen to have her bedroom painted purple with a boarder of flowers around the middle of the walls.

Heading inside, (Y/n) leaned down and gently laid Ella down in bed so she could have a power nap. She had been lively at nursery when (Y/n) went to pick her up so they went out to the park for a while. As soon as they got back in the car, Ella had been out like a light. She would need a long power nap before she woke up for the rest of the afternoon.

(Y/n) kissed her temple before she quietly left the room, making sure to leave the door open ajar in case Ella woke up.

Just as she turned around, she paused when the door opposite opened and a grin pulled at her lips when she looked over at Evan. He looked a bit beraggled with his curls spiked up in every direction, his eyes dark and misty from sleep and his shorts hanging low on his hips. while his shirt was crumpled around the middle and rolled up just enough to show off his abdomen.

He had only just woken up, (Y/n) gathered. He had been on a double shift that ended this morning while (Y/n) was at work. She figured he would come home and have a nap after a long shift.

She moved towards him and reached her hands up to cup his face, pushing on her tiptoes so she could press a kiss to his lips. But her head tilted to one side and her eyes narrowed when she took in his expression.

He had one brow slightly arched and his lips were set into a small, thin line like a crack in the wall. Added with the way the end of his nose was curled up, he didn't look very impressed and that look was enough to send shivers running up and down (Y/n)'s spine.

"Evan, what's wrong?" Her voice came out quiet but laced with concern while she watched him slant to the right until his shoulder was pressed against the door frame.

He crossed both arms over his chest and leaned his temple back against the open door. The way his eyes raked up and down her body was like he was studying her for something and it made her feel somehow uneasy. Had she done something? Did something happen while she had been out? Had he suffered a bad shift?

"Where were you?"

"I was at work this morning." She ran her hand up and down his chest and leaned up to peck the side of his neck before she weaved past him to get into their room.

She could feel him turning around to follow her and while she moved towards the end of the bed and began stripping from her work clothes. Her eyes locked with his in the mirror once she'd pulled her shirt over her head. He had perched down on the bed behind her, his feet tapping against the rug and his arms folded over his chest again as he watched her.

"I meant after work, where'd you two go?" Evan's eyes glanced to the left towards the doorway and back to (Y/n) to make his point.

He knew (Y/n) had been at work this morning, that was why Ella had been in nursery today. But Evan didn't know where she had gone after work. Where she had gone with Ella. He liked to know. If he was home and neither of his girls were here, Evan wanted to know why. He wanted to know where they were, what they were doing and when they would be coming home.

"We went to the park, with Amy from work, why?" Ella had still been lively when she came out of nursery and it was a sunny day. (Y/n) couldn't turn down Amy's offer to go for a walk to the park before they went their separate ways.

(Y/n) tossed her shirt and leggings into the hamper and began to change, but she paused when she felt Evan reaching out for her. His hands found her hips and he spun her around so she was facing him and when he parted his knees to the sides, he tugged her to stand between them.

"You never said you were going, and you didn't answer my calls." The expression on Evan's face was somewhat stern and it made (Y/n)'s stomach ignite with nervous tension.

Was she supposed to say she had decided last minute to take Ella to the park? What difference did it make when they didn't have any plans this afternoon? She hadn't been gone long, and her phone was on silent in her bag from being at work. (Y/n) didn't know he had called.

"Baby, we were busy-"

"I didn't know were you were. Next time, tell me."

(Y/n) found herself nodding along and her breath caught in her throat when Evan wound his arms around her waist and pulled her down to steal a kiss from her lips.

He wanted to know where his girls were; Evan didn't like having either of them out of his sight.

A shiver scratched away at (Y/n)'s nerves at the memory which she tried to push to the back of her mind when she watched the familiar jeep pull up in front of her.

At first, it had been sweet. (Y/n) found it rather endearing in the beginning that Evan called on his breaks to check in with her. She would hand the phone over to Ella after a while and the pair would chat until Evan had to get back to work.

If there had been an accident nearby, Evan would tell (Y/n) so she could avoid traffic jams or know which areas to avoid.

He would ask what shifts she worked so he could give her lifts to work or so he knew when to take Ella to nursery and they could plan their days off together.

But now, it was starting to change.

Odd phone calls on breaks were now sporadic calls every day when he wasn't with her. They were check up calls to ask where she was, what she was doing, where was Ella, if he was at work and wasn't with them. (Y/n) used to keep her phone on her desk at work, but now she stuffed it far down into her bag on silent so she didn't see how many texts Evan would send her while she was at work.

Planning to do something without Evan wasn't an option unless he was at work, and even then, she still had to tell him where she was going or he would get unnerved.

Taking Ella out somewhere without Evan wasn't an option either. It was as if Evan thought the world was so unsafe or unfair that he had to protect them all from something. He didn't like the girls being anywhere without him and if he didn't know where they were, all Hell would break loose.

(Y/n) wasn't sure how much longer she could be suffocated like this. The first few months of living with Evan was perfect. It was normal; it was what she dreamed of when she thought of the family she'd always wanted and the family they were trying to create together.

But now, (Y/n) wasn't sure she could cope like this. It was like she had been locked in a plastic bubble and the air was slowly starting to fade away. She was being suffocated and she didn't know what to do about it or how to escape.

With a deep breath, (Y/n) forced herself to smile and walked over to the jeep, clambering up into the passenger seat.

She snook a glance in the back, feeling her heart warm at the sight of Ella, curled up in her car seat. The toddler had a teddy cocooned to her arms, her head lolled to one side and she was breathing softly around her dummy.

She pulled her belt around and allowed herself to relax when she felt Evan's fingers beneath her chin, tilting her head up in his direction so he could give her a kiss. The warmth of his lips was loving and sweet and made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter and try to wash away all the doubts and bad thoughts plaguing her mind.

He mumbled a soft "Hello," against her lips before he dove back for another kiss and pulled her lower lip between his teeth in a playful, bruising touch. His thumb glided across her chin and his nose nudged against hers before they finally parted and he sat up straight in his seat.

"Good day?" (Y/n) slouched back in her seat and leaned to the side so she could look over at Evan as he began to drive.

"Yeah, well, Chimney broke a finger today so Hen's put it in a splint for him, but other than that nothing out of the ordinary."

Out of all the injuries they could get on shift, Evan thought it was rather strange to get such a minor injury as a broken ring finger. It meant Chimney now had two fingers taped together on his left hand and he wouldn't be driving for a while, but he could still work which was a good thing. Other than that, Evan had been relieved to have an easy shift as far as his job went.

"Broken bones are ordinary, huh?" (Y/n) managed a smile while she looked ahead at the passing scenery.

"Rather a finger than an arm or a leg. What about your day?"

Evan snook a glance in the rear view mirror and looked back at the little girl sleeping soundly. He had finished his shift a bit earlier this afternoon so he decided to pick Ella up from nursery and take her down to see Maddie for a while. He didn't want to be sat at home on his own when he could have his little girl with him, and Ella preferred being home to being at nursery.

He was glad she was only going to nursery two days a week because it meant he got more time with her on his days off. He wasn't about to lose anymore time with his girl by sending her to nursery when she didn't like it and didn't want to go. If she would rather be out and about with Evan then he would happily oblige. And he had clearly tired her out playing with Maddie because she had been asleep for a good half an hour now.

"Nothing as exciting, I'm afraid."

"Oh. Well, why were you at the doctors earlier? I presume it was for you, since Ella was at nursery."

His words shocked (Y/n) and she sat up straighter in her seat as a deep frown set in her features.

How did Evan know that? How had he known that she had left work for an hour this morning to go to an appointment? She hadn't told him, or anyone else, since it was only a routine check up and to take some bloods. (Y/n) had been feeling run down, not to mentioned nervous with Evan's changing behaviour. Last time she felt run down, she had been low on iron so the doctor had taken bloods to see if she could be prescribed anything.

It wasn't anything to worry about and she got the appointment at short notice, so (Y/n) hadn't put it on the calander at home. So How did Evan know she had been?

"How- how did you know that?" She tried her best to control her voice and stop it from wavering or giving away how uneasy this conversation and that knowledge was making her. She didn't want to have an argument here in the car.

"I tried messaging you, your phone location said you were at the doctors. everything okay?" Evan spoke as if it was the most normal thing in the world while he dragged his right hand along his mouth and down his jaw.

He glanced his eyes to the right to look at (Y/n), seeing the wheels turning in her mind and the distant look on her face like she was lost in thought.

If she wasn't going to tell him where she was, he would have to check the locator app that happened to be on both their phones. He had messaged, he sent quite a few texts actually, but (Y/n) didn't respond and it made him worry. But his worry only spiked when he looked on the app and saw that she hadn't been at work, but was at the doctors instead.

He knew if it had been something for Ella, it would have been on the calendar and she would have told him since he had the afternoon off. And since Ella had still been at nursery when he went to pick her up, Evan educated that (Y/n) couldn't have taken her to the hospital. It had to be an appointment for herself, but even that was worrysome.

She hadn't told him she had an appointment and she hadn't mentioned feeling unwell or needing to see a doctor. Evan needed to know these things and if (Y/n) wasn't going to tell him, he would have to keep checking the location on her phone to make sure both his girls were okay.

"It was just for routine blood tests." Moving her left arm out in his direction, (Y/n) let him see the cotton taped into the crease of her elbow. She wasn't sure why she was trying to prove her point and she almost jerked back when Evan's hand found her thigh.

"I would have gone with you if you'd of said."

Something told (Y/n) that he would have gone with her whether she asked or not, if he had known about the appointment. And (Y/n) already knew if there were any appointments for Ella, it would be an unspoken rule that Evan would be there.

His hand gave her thigh another squeeze as if to draw her attention. "You feeling okay?"

She didn't dare say she had been feeling run down. (Y/n) wasn't sure what kind of mood Evan might go into if she wasn't well, he might become smothering and she was already starting to lose air when she was around him.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." She didn't feel okay. Evan was tracking her movements, she didn't even know she had anything on her phone that would allow him to check her location. It wasn't enough that he had been messaging and ringing her every time she was out of his sights or when he didn't have Ella with him, now he was tracking her instead.

Surely this behaviour wasn't normal.

***

Twisting his head to the side, Evan buried his cheek into the pillow while he looked down at his phone. Eddie had texted him. Chris was eager to go out bowling tomorrow, and wanted to know if Evan, (Y/n) and Ella would tag along. He wasn't sure if Ella had been bowling before, but he had a feeling it would be something she would enjoy.

He sent a quick reply asking for the time and saying they would all be happy to go along, before he placed his phone down on the coffee table.

His hand ran along his eyes to try and wake himself up a little, he didn't want to fall asleep right now, not when it was only mid-afternoon. His sleep schedule was already messed up from all the odd shifts he worked, he didn't want to screw it up anymore by napping during the day.

A smile trickled across his lips when he looked down at Ella. The little girl was snuggled up on his chest. She had her knees curled up into her tummy, her head tucked into Evan's shoulder and her arms snuggled into his chest.

Evan had quickly fallen in love with the way she cuddled up to him, she seemed to love lying directly on top of his chest like this. And her weight was comforting, like a weighted blanket full of love and he could feel her drooling onto his chest. She had been dozing on and off for the last hour while he had a movie on in the background.

When she mumbled something and blearily opened her eyes to look up at him, a brighter grin broke out on Evan's face. He glided his free hand up and down her back in soothing circles while he looked down at her.

"What's the matter baby?" He murmured softly as he moved his hand up to card his fingers through her small bouncing curls.

He felt her shuffle round and it made his heart swell when she propped her chin up on his chest so she could look up at him with those big blue eyes that could get her anything she wanted. Those eyes would always melt Evan and any mood he was in, one look from his little girl and he would give in to almost anything she asked.

"Mummy said we go on an adventure soon, girl trip, but you're not coming. I don't wanna go without you."

Suddenly an added weight piled down on Evan's chest along with Ella until he could barely breathe at all. His hand stilled and moved back down to rest on her lower back while his eyes seemed to look off into the distance.

What was she talking about?

What kind of trip was (Y/n) planning that couldn't involve him? Why had she been filling Ella's head with these ridiculous ideas and let her get worried?

Did (Y/n) really think she could take Ella anywhere without Evan? He had missed out on everything in her life so far, he wasn't going to sit back and let (Y/n) take it from him all over again. They were his girls. (Y/n) was the one for him, the one who would always have his heart in her hands, and Ella was his entire world.

He wouldn't be without either of them, not for a day.

Evan tried his best to ignore the flames igniting within his stomach and sending fury through his nerves like bolts of lightning. He wrapped both arms around Ella and leaned down to press a dozen kisses to her temple which made her smile.

He hushed her quietly while he breathed against her temple, trying to think. There was no way this was happening. If (Y/n) was planning to go somewhere, she could go on her own for a few days, but she wasn't taking Ella. Evan wouldn't take that risk of (Y/n) disappearing and losing them both. Not again. Ella wasn't leaving his sight.

"Hey, don't you worry baby girl, you're not going anywhere without me. Mummy meant a day trip, that's all. I won't let you out of my sight, I promise."

She seemed to relax at his words and her eyes closed as she shuffled up higher on his chest until her face was tucked into the crook of his neck. Her soft breaths fanned against his skin and gave Evan something to focus on and regulate his own breathing.

He should have put her to bed for a nap. He had been planning to once she properly fell asleep, but not anymore. He wasn't letting her out of his sight, and he didn't want to put her down now either. He wanted to have her right here, as close to his heart as he could get her so she knew he wasn't going anywhere. So Ella knew no one was taking her away from him, not now, not ever.

He wasn't sure how long they both laid there, cuddled up together while Evan's foot tapped against the end of the sofa like a constant hammer hacking away at the arm rest. But the longer they stayed there, the more riled up Evan became. All he could think about was what (Y/n) thought she was doing and why she was trying to disrupt everything.

He could feel himself practically going red with fury and indignation until the front door chimed.

Evan's jaw ground down so tightly his teeth began grating together and his jaw clicked with every movement. He continued to glide one hand up and down Ella's back while the other hand cradled the back of her head and his lips attached to her temple once again.

"Don't you two look cute." (Y/n) wondered if her words fell upon deaf ears when Evan didn't even look up at her as she walked into the living room.

She leaned over the sofa and pressed a passing kiss to his temple and gave his shoulder a squeeze before she ran her fingers through Ella's bouncing curls. After a few seconds of unusual silence, (Y/n) turned and headed into the kitchen.

Maybe Evan was tired. Maybe he hadn't had the best day and was trying to decompress and settle down with Ella.

She busied herself putting the kettle on and grabbing a cup from the cupboard before she turned around at the sound of footsteps. Evan had seemingly laid Ella down, asleep, on the sofa so he could come and talk to (Y/n).

She didn't like the look on his face. He looked unsettled and the way his jaw kept moving back and forth was unnerving and creating a constant grinding noise that made (Y/n)'s bones cringe.

"Good day, babe?" It was hard to keep her voice level and smile despite the unruly look she was getting.

"Great. So, when's the girls trip?" His voice was as dark as the look in his eyes and it made (Y/n) sidestep to the left until she had unintentionally walked herself into a corner.

"What?"

Evan looked rather casual for someone so riled up with such a gritty voice that (Y/n) wasn't so sure it was her partner stood in front of her anymore. He now had his arms folded over his chest and his hip slanted against the kitchen island while he stared down at her with looks that could put her in an early grave.

"Ella told me. She also said she doesn't want to leave me, so mind telling me where the Hell you think you're taking our daughter without telling me?" It was clear he was trying to keep his voice quiet and calm so they didn't disturb Ella sleeping in the next room. But he was finding it hard.

By the end of his words, Evan was near on shouting and his low voice caused the walls to shake in fear. If people had auras, the one surrounding Evan would have been pure black by now. He was beyond angry, beyond deceived, he was infuriated and to the point of desperation.

Both (Y/n)'s hands started to tap against her thighs as her chest swelled and swelled with each deep breath she took without exhaling any air.

"I… I- Evan I was just going to take her down to see my parents for a while."

They both knew it was a lie. (Y/n) wasn't a good liar and it wasn't a good lie to try and tell. It was feeble and silly because it was so unbelievable. She had been planning to take their daughter somewhere without Evan and now she was facing the consequences of him finding out what she had been up to.

She shouldn't have told Ella. She should have just packed a few things when Evan was at work and left one afternoon without telling anyone or leaving any signs.

But (Y/n) didn't want to go out of the blue without preparing Ella first, leaving on a whim would frighten her. But now she had blabbed to Evan, something (Y/n) didn't think Ella would do because she told her it was a little trip for a few days rather than the truth.

That (Y/n) wanted to take her away and was unsure whether she would ever come back.

"Now why don't I believe you?"

(Y/n) winced and coiled her arms around her waist at the sound of Evan's cynical voice. When he took a step closer, she wished she had somewhere to step back, but she was against the counter already and she couldn't stop him from walking over to her.

He stood close enough that their chests were one inch from touching and she could see the lines appearing around his nose when his lips formed an awfully dark look down at her.

"I need a break. I can't- I'm suffocating here, you won't let me breathe and you won't let Ella out of your sight. God forbid I try and walk to the shops with her and not tell you. We can't go on like this-"

"No, we can't."

He wasn't listening. He wasn't even going to try and hear her side of things. (Y/n) couldn't live like this, she couldn't live having to tell Evan her every movement and have him messaging her asking why she was going places because he was watching her movements on her phone locator.

When she tried to turn the locator off and delete the app, a few days later it suddenly reappeared. When she ignored his texts, they became snarky and persistent and if she didn't answer a call he got demanding.

If she didn't tell him where she was going with Ella he would practically blow a fuse. He wanted their daughter within his sights and he wanted to always know where she was and what she was doing. And if (Y/n) didn't get away from Evan now, even just for a few days, he was going to get a lot worse now she had planned something like this behind his back.

Her eyes followed Evan as he sidestepped from her and moved towards the sink. His hand gripped the edge of the counter and he began tapping his fingers madly on the side like he was doing Morse code.

"I'll take her to my parents, just for the week, so we can both think and calm down." Her words sounded like a question, but she tried to make it a statement. It would be best for them all, just a few days apart so they could both clear their heads and try to work things out and move past this point.

A gasp caught at the back of (Y/n)'s throat when Evan lunged a glass into the sink. It splintered into thousands of tiny shards, scattered all around the metal rim of the sink while (Y/n) pressed her trembling hands against her mouth to stop herself from screaming or crying, she wasn't sure which.

Her body shook and pressed back into the counter while she tried to shuffle away as slowly as possible so he wouldn't notice.

He had never broken anything in front of her before. Evan had never had a temper around (Y/n) or Ella; she had yet to find anyone who had seen him riled up like this. (Y/n) didn't know this side of Evan existed, and she didn't like it.

"You're not taking my daughter anywhere." He almost looked like he was smiling.

That gritty, sandpaper tone made (Y/n) want to cry and she took three steps away while Evan wasn't looking. Both his hands were now planted down on the counter and his elbows were locked straight, pushing his force down onto his hands while his upper body arched over like he thought he might be sick.

"She's our daughter-"

"Don't play righteous with me when you've been plotting to take her without even telling me. My daughter stays with me, you do not take her anywhere. You had her for two years, I missed everything. Every fucking milestone, (Y/n), and I won't miss a single day again."

When he turned his head to the right and realised (Y/n) had moved away from him, Evan broke out of place. He moved faster than she could anticipate and his palm glued into the fridge, creating an unmoveable barrier to stop her from moving any further away from him.

(Y/n) couldn't help but whimper and she tried to look to the left when she heard Ella whining softly and moving around on the sofa. It didn't sound like she was fully out of her nap, the little girl was a deep sleeper, but that glass would have stirred her in the least.

She couldn't move. When she tried to nudge Evan's arm down and gingerly point in Ella's direction, Evan simply shook his head. She would be fine and if she got fussy, it would be Evan who went to soothe her, not (Y/n).

"You're both my girls, and you belong with me. Neither of you are going anywhere, and that's final." His voice sounded like he was starting to calm down, but the maddening look in his eyes said otherwise.

Evan had missed out on too much with Ella, and he wasn't going to let (Y/n) take her away from him. He wouldn't lose her for a second time, it was out of the question. And he wasn't going to let (Y/n) up and walk out either. She was his girl, they were his and they belonged with him. Evan would die before he let either of them go.

"Evan…"

A whimper tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she shut her eyes tight when Evan grabbed her chin. His thumb and index finger pressed into her cheeks like he was trying to make her lips pop and the force was starting to make her jaw ache. He tilted her head back until the back of her head was pressing into the fridge and her head was pointed up in his direction.

When she didn't open her eyes, he gave her jaw a jiggle from left to right to gain her attention. (Y/n) nervously glanced up at him, unable to keep eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time, and she was grateful for the tears falling down her face which distorted his crazed image in front of her.

She pinned her arms against her chest, shuddering into the fridge when Evan pressed every inch of himself against her. His chest was firm and hard and felt like a brick wall tumbling down on her, crushing her, giving her no way out.

"Do you understand?"

There was a warning tone in his voice. (Y/n) didn't want to find out what would happen if she said no and tried to defy him.

"Yes." She understood completely. She understood that she was now trapped and Ella was the anchor that would bind her to Evan. She would never be able to take Ella away from him. Evan would find her, he wouldn't lose his daughter for anything in the world and he didn't look like he would ever give (Y/n) up either.

They were both bound to him and nothing would change that. (Y/n) would never be able to take Ella away, he would find them. He was going to get worse now. He would continue to check on her whereabouts because he was going to worry that one day, (Y/n) might try and abscond with Ella.

And (Y/n) had foolishly let Evan adopt her. She hadn't known his details when she gave birth, so she couldn't put anything down under father's name. But now she had found him and when things seemed to be going smoothly, Evan adopted Ella. It solidified things, it made her his well and truly. How could (Y/n) take her away now?

A shudder tore through her body and had her feet scraping against the floor when Evan leaned down and pressed a searing kiss to her lips. He loosened his grip on her chin, but didn't quite let go. His thumb stroked up and down her jaw while his touch bruised her lips and his teeth sank down into her lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

Maybe she had gotten a lucky escape the first time around. Maybe the universe had been trying to send her a sign when she couldn't find Evan after finding out she was pregnant. What if fate had been trying to tell her that it would be better, safer, easier, to have Ella alone than to let Evan become involved?

Had she made a terrible mistake by bumping into him and letting him into their lives? Did it really matter now? What's done was done and (Y/n) couldn't change a thing. She couldn't get out of this situation.

Everything had changed now.

[evilminji]

Been Havin Thoughts™ >.>

About the Tragedy of SI-OC born too late to change anything...

About KNOWING. Exactly what's going to go wrong. Potentially how to fix it. Having a head crammed FULL of hundreds of authors of Fix-Its, Meta discussions, Tumblr posts. Uncertain that it truely WOULD change anything... but? Plans within plans. Possibilities. The options and ability to do SOMETHING. All there.

All useless.

Because... Because, you? You are a child.

Born too late too make a difference. The machinations of monsters are already well underway and it is far too late to stop that trolley, bearing down on you. No. No, now?

Now you get to make a CHOICE.

The needs of the many? The needs of the few? Yourself? Who do you try and save? Who CAN you save? From this sinking ship. This slow, painful, tragedy? No one's going to listen to a child. Not really. Not TRUELY. You are merely... a Witness.

There are SO MANY Scenarios!!!

But! For this? The one that currently haunts me?

Force Nexus~☆ under the Temple~☆! What COULD it do? I wonder?

Imagine it. You are a Youngling. A Temple Child. You KNOW what is coming. Order 66. The suffering. The Death. An empire built on the enslavement of good, loyal men. The genocide of Jedi. Every night you struggle to sleep. Toss and turn. Look at the tiny sleeping faces of children in you Creche... and you KNOW.

You KNOW.

Just as you KNOW... that no one will listen to you. You did try. Carefully. And you are glad you did. Your trust was betrayed. They did not listen. The end barrels closer and closer. The Force WEEPS in your mind, like a wound hidden in smoke. You... you have to decide.

Save yourself? Run? You could. You might survive.

Take the infants? Bundle them away in the night? You'd have to time it just right. Or they'd chase you to the ends of the galaxy.

Or... or do you do... THAT?

The thing that scares you. The one your not sure your brave enough to do. The one that... that would be JEDI of you? You are scared. Just a child. Thought... thought you would have longer...

In your heart... already know. Exactly what you're going to do.

So you sneak out. It's far too easy. With so many minders, away at War. Hang around the Senate. Well away from the Sith. You... you just need the inevitable to happen. Hate yourself, for preying on the Vode. Sure enough? Some asshole orders a good man to be "decommissioned" over imagined offense.

He is escorted away by his brothers.

You follow.

Let them grieve. Before quietly interjecting. You need his help. To save his brothers. Since he is to die either way... would he mind dying with you? You hate asking. What choice does he HAVE now, really? He is condemned. You feel like a monster.

When he asks if you are CERTAIN it will help his brothers, you think of the records you have read. Yes. Yes it will.

He does not look at you, like you are a monster. There is a grieving understanding between instead. You leave at once. Back to the barracks. Things left behind he will not be coming back for. Everytime you leave the temple, you are much the same.

Now you decend.

Down and down. Level by level. Past where the light no longer reaches, past breathable air. To the old temple. Long forgotten. Desecrated by the Sith. You are a youngling. You can not purify this place. But oh... oh you can try. Any spark of Light in this darkness. Like a trail of breadcrumbs, made of stars.

Down and towards the Nexus.

It rattles your bones. Aches in your teeth. Colors beyond color, time outside of time. Every step becomes a struggle. Until it is too much. You must be carried. Your trooper does not mind. Helps you stay present, attached to your skin. Luminous as you are.

You... You get there.

It Is BEAUTIFUL.

The Force is HERE. And Here flows the Force. Everything One. Your lines, simple matter, begin to break. How... how could you possibly care? It is... no. The hand in your's reminds you. Your reason for all of this. The Vode. Their fate. You look to the man who has become your friend. Would weep for him, if you could. But... but it is too late now.

For both of you.

You are One with the Force. And the Force is One with you.

In the starlight, the fracturing, of what's left of your brain... you PULL. The chip. The advanced aging. The shroud the Sith has pulled around himself. All... all things are possible, in the Force. ALL THINGS. Perhaps not all... with flesh and bone... but? With the Force? The... The Vode will be free.

What is distance, mere matter, to The Force?

We are everywhere and nowhere. Everything and nothing. Our power is infinte and killing us. And... and that is okay. It does not hurt. The Light... the Light is BEAUTIFUL. We did this on our own two feet.

We are one with the Force.

And that is okay.

[mariacallous]

Six months into the Russian occupation of the Ukrainian city of Kherson, in September 2022, the director of Liza Batsura’s college arrived at the dormitory where Batsura lived and told the students to pack up their things: They were going to Crimea. If the students refused, they would be put in the basement, Batsura said, speaking through a translator. The director gave no further explanation.

The next evening, they were taken to a camp called “Friendship” in Crimea, which was occupied by Russia in 2014. Although she couldn’t have known it at the time, Batsura—now 16 years old—was one of almost 20,000 children the Ukrainian government estimates have been deported or forcibly displaced to Russia. Only 388 have been returned.

Initially, the prospect of a couple of weeks by the sea didn’t sound so bad. But Batsura quickly began to realize that that wouldn’t be the case. The food was terrible, the days were long, and the children were pressured to sing Russian songs, including the national anthem, which made her very uncomfortable.

Foreign Policy is unable to independently verify Batsura’s account, but her experience closely tracks with the findings of investigations by the United Nations as well as researchers at Yale School of Public Health and other human rights groups who have documented a “systematic” effort to relocate and reeducate thousands of Ukrainian children over the course of the war. She also recounted her story to Reuters as part of an extensive investigation into the deportations.

Batsura was one of five Ukrainian teenagers who visited Washington last month with representatives of Save Ukraine, a Ukraine-based nonprofit that helps to rescue Ukrainian children from Russia and the territories it occupies. They stoically recounted the stories of their abductions again and again for journalists, members of Congress, and attendees at public events.

It was the group’s first visit to Washington. Batsura felt like she was in a movie, she said.

With long limbs and round cheeks, the teenagers filed into the conference room of a Washington-based nonprofit with their minders from Save Ukraine for an interview with Foreign Policy. Once the Wi-Fi password had been secured and the bathroom located, they began to tell their stories.

They were teenagers like any other you’d see hanging out with friends at a cafe or shopping mall. Yet they were also victims of Moscow’s large-scale deportation of Ukrainian children—a potential war crime and the reason that the International Criminal Court (ICC) issued arrest warrants for Russian President Vladimir Putin and the country’s children’s rights commissioner, Maria Lvova-Belova, in March 2023.

Like Batsura, they all hail from regions of eastern Ukraine that were quickly occupied by Russian forces in the early days of the war. They recount being coerced or forced, sometimes at gunpoint, to go with Russian forces, and they were taken to schools and summer camps where they were held for several months and faced pressure to accept Russian citizenship.

In many instances, Ukraine’s most vulnerable children have borne the brunt of Russian deportation. Before the war, Ukraine had one of the highest rates of child institutionalization in Europe, with more than 100,000 children living in residential institutions. The vast majority have living parents but were placed in institutions because of poverty, difficult family circumstances, or because the child had a disability, according to Human Rights Watch.

The deportations have been carried out in plain sight. Early in the war, Putin signed a decree making it easier for Ukrainian children to be adopted and to be given Russian citizenship. Lvova-Belova herself claims to have adopted a teenager from the besieged Ukrainian city of Mariupol, and she has spoken publicly about her efforts to Russify him. In November, a BBC investigation found that a 2-year old girl who went missing from a children’s home in Kherson when she was just 10 months old had been adopted by 70-year-old member of the Russian parliament, Sergey Mironov.

Lvova-Belova has made a number of visits to institutions holding Ukrainian children, including to a college in the occupied Ukrainian city of Henichesk, where Batsura had been transferred from Crimea and placed in a culinary arts program.

The dormitory where Batsura was placed was freezing cold at night, she said, and the teenagers were forbidden to close the doors to their rooms. Russian troops patrolled the halls.

Lvova-Belova offered the children 100,000 rubles, roughly $1,000, and the opportunity to study at a college in Russia on the condition that they remain there. Batsura refused. Officials tried to find her a foster family, and she feared she would be sent to a remote region of Russia and would never be able to return to Ukraine.

For eight months while she was in Russian custody, Batsura had been unable to contact her mother, but she learned through a friend that her mother was working with Save Ukraine and applying for a passport so that she could travel to Russia and collect her.

With the border to Russia closed since the invasion, families face a daunting overland journey through wartime Ukraine, traveling into Poland, Belarus, and then Russia and—in Batsura’s case—down into occupied Ukrainian territory.

In some instances, children are turned over to their relatives without too much difficulty once the family members arrive to collect them, but the Russian authorities have also been known to present obstacles, said Olha Yerokhina, a spokesperson for Save Ukraine. The organization has helped families retrieve 240 children to date.

Officials at the school told Batsura that the journey was too arduous and that her friend was giving her false hope that her mother would ever arrive. “I didn’t believe them, and I kept telling myself that ‘No, my mom can do it, my mom will come,’” she said.

In May 2023, Batsura was rescued by her mother and now lives with her in Kyiv, where she is working with psychologists to process her experience. She is back in school and describes her hobbies as writing poems and making TikTok videos.

I asked her, given the atrocities that Putin has been accused of committing in Ukraine and during his presidency, how she felt about the fact that it was experiences like hers that had led the ICC to issue an arrest warrant for the Russian leader.

Yerokhina, who acted as our translator, interrupted to say that because she was rescued after the court order was issued, Batsura had likely missed the news about the ICC arrest warrant.

After Yerokhina explained the court’s decision, Batsura said, “It’s just.”