#cheryl feels unhinged

[jugheadvarchoni]

Ranking every Riverdale Season (from worst to best)

Reminder: this is just MY opinion. Feel free to share your own!

7. Season 5

With the exception of the first 3 episodes (which I just consider to be part of 4), this season was just a huge nothingburger disappointment. The idea of a time jump was cool, and it even started out okay. Then it quickly went off the rails and not only fell back into repeat territory but the jump itself was just executed so poorly… I was beyond done with Hiram villain stuff atp. The Mothmen were fine, just nowhere near as good as the Gargoyle King or Black Hood for me. Too many characters are written TOO awfully (especially the queer characters) and sometimes it feels like they tried to cram way too much into it. It just leaves the season feeling bloated and incoherent. Best parts by far were Toni getting a big role and the introduction of Tabitha.

Still, those weren’t enough to save the season imo. Overall S5 felt the least like Riverdale to me & it was lowkey boring a lot, so it gets last place. Boo. 🍅

6. Season 4

I’m actually so serious when I say I really love this season. S5 is probably the only one I dislike, the rest of these can change at the drop of a hat lol.

The main reason I’m putting S4 here is that it was very hit or miss with my enjoyment of the storylines. Jughead’s stuff at Stonewall was okay. Cheryl got another unhinged story when she should’ve been getting therapy, Archie’s story was mind-numbing, The Auteur was creepy and great until it was revealed to be Jellybean (wah-wah-wah). Maybe it has to do with COVID throwing things off, but the whole season was just a little lackluster and disjointed. Also, TICKLE-PORN?????

The tribute to Luke Perry was beautiful tho. Miss him. 💔

5. Season 1

ALRIGHT. Before you pull out those pitchforks, just hear me out. It’s an incredible season, it’s the most well-written, the tone was amazing, and it set everything up perfectly.

But I do think that because it’s only the first season, and because it’s so short, a lot of the dynamics I personally love just don’t exist. Toni isn’t on the show yet. And I feel like part of what made Riverdale stand out, WAS the craziness and the willingness to do literally anything remotely cuckoo, which S1 just didn’t have. I’m just personally very attracted to wackiness of the other seasons. It’s a little overrated.

But again, this still season is INCREDIBLE and I’m still obsessed with its’ vibes.

4. Season 7

Don’t hurt me. 😭

But buckle up, because I have a lot to say here.

I REALLY had such a good time with this season… I mean, the Choni of it all is really want gets me obsessively thinking about this season on a daily basis. The way they were treated in the first half is everything I wished for them back in the earlier seasons. If this were a ranking based on Choni throughout the seasons, S7 would be #1. Kevin also got a ton of great stuff. S7 was so kind to the queer characters… Other than them, I just love how they got to have FUN. They took us back in time and basically just put the characters into an old-timey Archie Comic. Ridiculous but entertaining side plots that actually kept me interested and put the characters in a totally new environment. And despite the fact that people seem to want to ignore this, they ARE still the characters we’ve known and loved since S1, they just didn’t remember. But the memories are still there, and still inform all of their decisions and relationships.

Unfortunately, my biggest gripe with S7 is the way it feels disconnected to the rest of the show overall. They really let the comet story flop hard. Even if we decided to stay in the 50s in the end, we should’ve had way more time with our characters with their memories. They should’ve had conversations that were long overdue, that circle back and bring things to a close, the way final seasons should. I would’ve preferred they go back to the present, but in an altered timeline due to all the changes made to their lives. Tabitha was WASTED and thrown away and it makes me so mad tbh. They chickened out with the Varchie vs Barchie thing and instead we got that dumbass polycule and everyone dating everyone only for literally no one to end up with anyone (except Choni & Clevin uwu). The later half is especially a letdown, because that’s when we should’ve been ramping up to the end with their memories and certain people coming back together. Instead, we just got a lot of randomness. Which, while fun, doesn’t make for a good final season imo.

I think this season would’ve been ranked in my top 3 had it NOT been the final one…

It’s such a polarizing season for me and that’s why it’s smack dab in the middle!

3. Season 2

What a lot of people consider the glory days lol.

Everything that was well-established in S1 was built on and just made even better. The dynamics between the core four and each one of their storylines was spot on and interesting. Black Hood is probably the most interesting mystery villain we ever had on the show and delving deeper into the Cooper family was great. The slasher horror movie vibes with Black Hood’s story & his victims were just elite.

The season was darker and full of lots of twists and turns, which I always appreciate to keep my on my toes. We got introduced to Toni and Choni was born!

It did have some meh stuff tho, the Archie vs Hiram wasn’t all that interesting to me in this season, even though I DO like Hiram a lot. He’s always been an intriguing character to me, I just think he was severely overused. I also don’t like Bughead lol. The Chic stuff is hit or miss. It was bordering on crazy, but not quite at that sweet spot yet.

Overall this season was more exciting and deeper than even the likes of S1. And this is, of course, where we started getting into the Southside Serpents and the gang wars, which I think is such an iconic aspect of the show. Just a fun, deeper, more interesting season for me!

2. Season 6

I’m a sucker for witches and magic and time travel shenanigans, so this season was RIGHT up my alley. Rivervale, Sabrina, the spookiness, Cheryl’s witch arc, Percival was great, Tabitha getting to shine, I loved SO much of this season. Having one villain, that they all focus on I think did wonders for the cohesiveness of the season. Almost everyone got involved in it, there weren’t as many tangential storylines, and the buildup to the comet was so much fun. It was the perfect blend of camp and wackadoodleness and serious life/death stuff.

The worst part for me, is the ships. Tangs being a plague on society and them making Toni’s whole storyline about being a mother (a bad, awful one ugh). Fangs was never a standout to me, but they just made him insufferable this season. The custody battle was insanely stupid and a waste of time. “Baby Anthony” sucked (Dale FTW). Barchie has always bored me. Cheryl/Heather just felt like besties lol. The ships suffered hard in this season lol.

Still, we got Choni confirmed soulmates and Thabigail + Jughead/Tabitha were cute. So that aspect wasn’t ALL bad.

Tonally, it’s soooo different from the other seasons but I think they strike a better balance between mystery villainous plot and campiness than the other seasons. I ate up the supernatural and horror stuff, the plot is one of the most consistent in the whole show, there’s good character development and I just loved the craziness. They easily redeemed themselves after that abysmal S5. 🙏

1. Season 3

Ahhh PEAK insanity. Wild, compelling, dark but also silly af sometimes. The show went off the rails in the best way and I have a blast every time I watch it. A true fever dream. They embraced the crazy and I think that’s what sets it apart from all the other seasons. Imo, there isn’t a single “bad” episode here. They were still in high school, giving us that teenage drama/those dynamics that made Riverdale what it is. My fav ships were together (not without their drama), there was an intriguing mystery with the Gargoyle King. The flashback episode with the parents was amazinggggg and I loved everything about the Gryphon’s and Gargoyle’s storyline and how it trickled down to affect so many people. The atmosphere of the season, the main cast that got focus and actually got to have screentime together, Heathers heing probably their strongest musical. I love it SO MUCH.

There are some weaker points tho. There is a lot that happens this season, like A LOT. But I enjoyed it so much that I lowkey give it a pass for being so convoluted. Dilton was wasted and killed off after not getting much in general. Bughead & Veggie suck. I wish the G&G and Cult stuff had been intertwined better.

An organ harvesting cult led by Chad Michael Murray? Archie fighting a bear? Mass seizures? Babies thrown into a fire and then levitating? Veronica opening a speakeasy as a teenager? Choni cat burglars? Archie in juvie? Bunker sex? Speakeasy sex? Fizzle rocks? Killer DnD? THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL?

I-C-O-N-I-C. Riverdale is at its best for me when it doesn’t care about being a normal gritty teen show. Maybe this season was a little messier, but I think the sheer fun and craziness more than makes up for that. Everytime I rewatch this season, I enjoy the crap out of it and am reminded why I love these characters and this silly little show so much. ♥️

So to recap:

S3 > S6 > S2 > S7 > S1 > S4 > S5

P.S: if there’s a major typo or I put something in the wrong season, lemme know. I just regurgitated this all from memory when I woke up so my thoughts were hella jumbled…

[florbelles]

— OCS & OTHER CHARACTERS.

tagged by @corvosattano​, @nightbloodraelle​, @leviiackrman​, @adelaidedrubman​, @denerims​, @fourlittleseedlings​, @minaharkers​, @strafethesesinners​, @playstationmademe​, @ishwaris​, @shegetsburned​, @aartyom​ & @gwynbleidd​, ty beloveds!!

sending tags on to @unholymilf (>:((), @henbased (>:(((), @belorage, @jendoe, @phillipsgraves, @chuckhansen, @queennymeria, @poetikat, @derelictheretic, @purplehairsecretlair, @strangefable, @arklay, @morvaris, @noonfaerie, @jackiesarch, @risingsh0t, @roberthouses​​, @confidentandgood, @indorilnerevarine, @shellibisshe,  @blissfulalchemist​, @nuclearstorms, @reaperkiller, @steelport, @nokstella, @shallow-gravy, @cybilbennettgf​ (i am sorry i forgot you moved & was like wait where’d she go) & anyone else can @ me xx (for real the brainfog is strong today so if i missed you please take this as a tag anyway)

rules (via @corvosattano​). take this quiz and share 5 (or more! or less! the world is your oyster!) results from the top 50 that you feel really fit your oc(s). if you don’t recognize very many from the top 50, feel free to expand into the top 100.

(actual influences & inspirations that made the list are italicized).

holly golightly (breakfast at tiffany’s)

villanelle (killing eve)

anna karenina (anna karenina)

love quinn (you)

ciri (the witcher)

honorable mentions. audrey horne (twin peaks), mia wallace (pulp fiction), lucifer morningstar (lucifer), cheryl blossom (riverdale), oberyn martell (game of thrones) (awks because of the eye cutting stuff.)

lady macbeth (macbeth)

cersei lannister (game of thrones)

joan holloway (mad men)

serena joy waterford (the handmaid’s tale)

beth harmon (the queen’s gambit)

honorable mentions but they’re increasingly unhinged. nina sayers (black swan), alice cooper (riverdale), leland palmer (twin peaks), the wicked witch of the west (the wizard of oz), the queen (snow white and the seven dwarfs), joe goldberg (you) (?????)

sterling archer (archer) (this was 95%. by the way.)

don draper (mad men)

logan delos (westworld)

jay gatsby (the great gatsby)

roman roy (succession)

honorable mentions but they’re increasingly unhinged. john willoughby (sense and sensibility) (this one probably belongs in the top five but logan & roman were funnier), jaime lannister (game of thrones), neal caffrey (white collar), james bond (tomorrow never dies), count alexei vronsky (anna karenina) (uncomfortable), regina george (mean girls), haley dunphy (modern family), lindsay bluth (arrested development)

davos seaworth & jorah mormont (game of thrones)

friar laurence (romeo and juliet)

charlie strong (peaky blinders)

samwell gamgee (lord of the rings)

honorable mentions. pete martell (twin peaks), little jon (robin hood), ben scott (yellowjackets), jon snow/samwell tarley/brandon stark all tied for some reason (game of thrones), jane eyre (jane eyre)

maeve millay (westworld)

daenerys targaryen (game of thrones)

vi (arcane)

yennefer of vengerberg (the witcher)

mazikeen (lucifer)

honorable mentions. freddie lounds (hannibal), tyler durdan (fight club), fleabag (fleabag), fiona gallagher (shameless), hiram lodge (riverdale) (mija she owns that dam), freddy krueger (a nightmare on elm street), the alien (alien)

dr. bedelia du maurier (hannibal)

shiv roy (succession)

sansa stark (game of thrones)

mel madara (arcane)

rose dewitt bukater (titanic)

honorable mentions. betty draper (mad men), dana scully (the x files), claire standish (the breakfast club), skyler white (breaking bad), lana kane (archer), jackie taylor (yellowjackets), margaery tyrell (game of thrones), betty cooper (riverdale), princess leia (star wars), lucille bluth (arrested development)

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

do you think cheryl would have been attracted to julian in the same way she was into jason?

I don't. LOL.

Like, Cheryl is so different in the 50's. So, fundamentally different. A big reason for that is Julian.

Cheryl's relationship to Julian is fundamentally different from her relationship with Jason. It feels much more ordinary. There's no psychosexual undertone. The twins don't feel as close.

We can also assume there was no Heather, or if there were, it probably wasn't as explosive.

A quick side note about this: I do think that we can conclude Cheryl did SOMETHING gay before Toni arrived in the 50's. Namely because the principal is so watchful with Cheryl and even makes a point to be like, "Straight's great, right?" at the dance. If there were no precedence, this would not have happened. After all, two girls dancing together in the 50's wouldn't be that odd. (There were even other girl/girl pairings in the scene's background.) The fact that Featherhead felt the need to correct Cheryl indicates there was a need for correction.

In any case, Cheryl is drawn to Jason as a way to cope. She flocks to him in search of affection and of approval. She simply doesn't have this relationship with Julian. They're far more normal.

I'm sitting here pondering why that is. Perhaps having parents that are Russian spies is simply less traumatizing than parents who are involved in the drug trade.

I'm honestly not sure.

Or maybe the strength that Cheryl had cultivated in her adult life was enough to carry over and make her less fragile in the 50's.

Either way, she isn't nearly as erratic in the 50s.

Now, you could say that this is due to skipping over her core trauma: Jason's death.

I would agree with you, but I think Cheryl in the modern era even before Jason's death was still more unhinged than in the 50s. Even if we only get glimpses of her.

We're getting off topic though. End of the day, Julian is just entirely different than Jason and doesn't set Cheryl up to seek the same kind of "divine comfort".

Thank you.

[mejomonster]

The Blossom Twins sounds like Powerpuff girls villains

If Archie fucks a teacher he IS the dead girl Laura palmer from Twin peaks

So Cheryl blossoms bro Jason maybe died.

"May Jason blossom burn in hell" lmao what did he do is he Jamie Lannister???

My immediate impression is like. If Pretty Little Liars is a murderer mystery for teen girls and lesbians (which in my experience it was, the way How to Get Away With Murder was for college kids adjacent grads and bisexuals), then Riverdale is a murder mystery for people who enjoyed Glee (hears shots in the distance)

I mean like. The "realistic" ish setting (a small town v a suburban high school), the way its turned up to 1000 in a way that sort of feels camp but camp is the wrong word (so far, maybe it'll change my mind happily?) And like it's gonna go some predictable places and some places no one's really expecting

(Oh also. So far it doesn't seem written much different than PLL or Teen Wolf... and I liked both but... you know what I mean... you know)

(Twin Peaks is, of course. A murder mystery for bisexuals and trans babes who love mind fuckery and lovely shots and are a little unhinged a la Laura or that agent Cooper guy or truly anyone in that town)

[witchofthemidlands]

an accurate depiction of my dad, an archie comics enthusiast, when he asks me to explain what riverdale is:

there has never been a show quite as unhinged as riverdale & honestly it's been fun, it really was a lot of fun. it was by no means good & i feel like crack may have been inhaled in the writers room but it was a laugh, it went from being an ‘edgy’ teen drama show about trying to solve the mystery of what happened to jason blossom & archie andrews experiencing the triumphs & defeats, the epic highs & lows of high school football to a show about archie fighting a bear, kids running gangs, people doing selling drugs to support their nana, a teenager opening a speakeasy, witchcraft, alternative universes, cults, a cult leader escaping in a rocket, the main characters getting superpowers all the while butchering musicals. riverdale was unafraid it just did whatever it wanted to do no matter if it was good or not.

riverdale also gave me cheryl blossom & as i was also struggling with accepting that i was a lesbian at the time, the character of cheryl will always mean a lot to me.

[bonvoyagenoona]

How's loverboy Aries?

BAHAHA OK WELL!!

So much has happened... I don’t even know where to begin... Maybe because I’m still very much in it!

For now, I’ll share that I’ve been on a JOURNEY with him and, uh, some others 😏.

The journey has had wild ups and downs, but I can honestly say that I really am having so much fun. I’ve met some really interesting people. Some really hurt people. Some really funny people. Some really BIG YIKES! 😬 people. Some unthinkably sweet people. Some people who, I think, are going to end up being in my life for longer and in a different capacity than I originally thought.

But, as cheesy as this sounds, the person I have had the most fun meeting is, well, me.

I’m thinking about writing one of my About Me / Cheryl Feels Unhinged posts, or maybe even turning my dating adventures into a more autobiographical writing project a la While You Were Breeding. (I highly recommend that book!)

Lol is anybody even interested in that kind of content from me? Let me know if you are!

But most importantly, I’m hoping that you all are also running your own little life experiments with this kind of joy -- the joy of an ardent observer finally pushing herself off the wall and jumping in with both feet, pleasantly surprised at what she’s finding.

[always-andromeda]

i am very curious as to how you quite exactly feel about holden worther from the good girl for the character bingo. like tell me. how do you feel about this poor, messed up child? i need specifics

send a character for an unhinged bingo ask!

Oh goodness gracious, Soph. Under the cut I'm gonna leave possibly an entire essay on how I feel about Holden because whoop dee doo I feel a lot of things about his character!!

First of all, I don't think him directly comparing himself to Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye is just some fluke; it's 100% intentional. Now I've never read Catcher in the Rye but based on the reading I've done of the main character, he is so similar to how Holden (or Thomas lol) composes himself. Both characters heavily judge others around them based on superficial traits and tend to see themselves as superior in some way. I think Holden (Thomas) found a lot of solace in this character and takes it as a thing of pride to imitate him, especially on matters of morality. It's partly why he gets so personally offended when Justine sleeps with Bubba (because lol it seems that book Holden feels the same way with just the concept of casual sex existing). It's also how he can so easily look down on almost everyone around him.

I think Holden's issues with his parents can't go unstated either. Like I haven't watched the movie since we watched it a few weeks ago bUT DO YOU REMEMBER A SINGLE TIME WHEN THIS GUY'S PARENTS GAVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM? NOOOO. It really is that parental neglect that both fuels his wild thought processes but also allows them to go unchecked.

AND ANOTHER THING. Even just knowing a sliver about Catcher in the Rye has really helped my interpretation of his character. Because The Good Girl is primarily about the monotony in the lives of these two people. Everyone else seems to have found their little niche in their lives and they're content with that living. Corny is cool with being the church guy, Cheryl manages to have fun working the makeup counter and annoying everyone over the loudspeaker, Phil is cool with getting high and doing his job and watching TV every day, Bubba is also cool with just watching his friend live out a "perfect" relationship. Everyone except for Justine and Holden are fine with all of this.

Holden, just like the character he admires so much, is a symbol of rebellion. Rebellion against the slow, mundane, cyclical lives that they live. But it's a rebellion that Justine ultimately can't go along with. Because picking up and running away with him would be the "easy" option. That's the great divide between them; Holden is young enough to believe that he is invincible and that they can do anything and be anything and they don't have to face the consequences. Justine has enough maturity to see the bigger picture and accept her life for what it is and decides to work with what she has in order to spare the people around her.

I genuinely love this movie so so so much and like...I'm genuinely debating reading Catcher in the Rye just so I can see if I can find more parallels between it and the movie. Because, GOD, The Good Girl embodies like. Almost everything I fear in my life. And I love Holden with all of my heart; wish I could cart him off to a good therapist. <3

Thank you for asking, soph 🥺 hope you enjoy the essay lol

[phantomqueen]

3, 9, and/or 19?

3. Which season is your favorite, and which plot of that season do you like most?

seasons 3-4 were truly the most unhinged, possibly MORE unhinged than season 6 when they get literal superpowers, and i loved every second of it. i liked the gryphons & gargoyles (esp when the teens' actors played teen versions of the parents!!) and jughead's dark academia plotlines the best. i still dont actually understand the "g&g has real consequences irl" plot but i look back on those confused fever dream memories with fondness

9. Which character has your favorite costuming? What's your favorite outfit they wore?

ooof probably cheryl or betty. betty...is actually fascinatingly bad, especially her teenager outfits. it looks like someone trying to go for a vaguely kitsch or vintage style but it's not landing. the clothes feel like they're from hollister or something and just badly mismatched. cheryl's outfits are also ridiculous but they're more fun. i like that she oscillates between influencer and gothic witch. i think some of her high school outfits COULD pass for things a teen would wear, if they'd just like, made her look realistically like a teen who shops at forever21. but we are not here in riverdale for realism

19. Who is your favorite parentdale character? Why?

jughead's dad. mostly because he's hot. i also have a "love to hate her" relationship with alice cooper. whenever she's onscreen i just KNOW she's gonna do some wildly poor parenting and then gaslight betty

[fvckyouimaprophet]

2, 5, 13 for the choose violence ask game 💖

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

not the top/bottom discourse 😂

i’m not sure if i have a fave at the moment, but i’ll go with sirius. there is so much existing discourse about who tops, who is taller, who is whatever, so, let’s hop in and join the swarm.

well, first of all, sirius is a scorpio, so— (kidding, kidding).

this is so hard because the discourse is so stupid, but okay okay i brought this upon myself.

sirius doesn’t bottom because he internalized the shitty politics of “power dynamics” associated with top/bottom discourse when he was first sexually curious and is a dramatic fucker, so his takeaway was, “i will never bottom because i will always be the one in control/with all the power.”

a lot of the people he hooks up with are like, “oh, okay, sure,” or want to be topped (sirius makes it known), so it becomes a point of pride for him. he’ll casually drop it in conversation, “well, i’ve never bottomed, so i wouldn’t know.”

remus thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen and pokes fun of sirius’s fragile ego and how very heterosexual of you to view sex this way. but sirius is prideful, and that only makes him cling to it harder. 

5. worst discord server and why

i don’t mean this in a “i’m too scared to share” or tame way, but i haven’t been a part of any shitty discord servers. which is probably because i’m only really active on four, and two of which recommended by people on one of the other servers (and another which i co-started and has maybe 15 members).

i have heard stories, but discord overwhelms me, so i have kept it tight. and i lean more onto the older side of fandom discords, so i steer clear of spaces that have a lot of minors or people who are significantly younger than me.

shitty rps, however, i have stories. i got kicked out of a teen wolf rp because of shipping shenanigans. and i have been harassed on glee rps (whom amongst us who was a part of those hasn’t), but i don’t remember the names, and they’re all long deactivated, so i don’t think it’d be juicy.

funny story about glee rp culture, though. there was a blog where people could submit shoutouts to characters, ships, and specific rp servers. sounds like a good idea, but a loooot of drama started because anonymous people would share things like “i hope [this ship] gets back together. i hate [current ship].” or they’d praise a handful of characters in one server, but others would get ignored, and people would quit because they’d feel under-appreciated. oh glee, you really were a swirling vortex of drama.

13. worst blorboficiation

if we’re talking fandom: i am genuinely annoying about this in one of the discord servers, but the blorbofication/baby girl-ifying of certain slytherin marauders-era characters.

i genuinely don’t care if you ship them. i wrote lesbian rosekiller, and i enjoyed the idea of them just being genuinely unhinged and used it to practice writing body horror.

but this culture of “oh they’re so soft” where they all get turned into a gang of hot topic queers who feel like the embodiment of the uwu face has me ???? and then people will act like it’s canon. like anyone who thinks that barty crouch jr wasn’t living out “love simon” is lying to themself.

i get that this has happened since the dawn of time (esp with white male characters). but the characters who get it usually are meant to be torn in some way, are redeemed, or theoretically have the potential to be redeemed.

i just genuinely wish people would acknowledge that it’s wildly ooc. there’s nothing wrong with that! i think it can be really freeing. “this is basically original fiction, but i’m using familiar character names because it makes me feel more comfortable/creative, and i have a built-in audience for my work” is a valid approach to fanfic!

if we’re talking about me: i watch riverdale, and so i’m going with cheryl blossom. 

has she murdered an uncle (and pretended to feed him to other members of the family to blackmail them), played doll with her brother’s dead corpse, and tried to surprise her ex by being like, “let’s co-parent your child. i built them a room in my mansion”? absolutely.

but i love how crazy she is. and you can rip her and toni’s batshit toxic relationship out of my cold, dead hands.

"i'm not the same girl who burned down thornhill and cut off [my mom’s] oxygen" "sure you are" 10/10, flawless.

(also janice from the sopranos)

✨send me asks from the choose violence game✨

[kevin-keller-artistic-director]

My point was in the context of jug perspective as the author is the show I didn't explicitly say that but I probably should have. His depiction of her in relation to him is what I was talking about specifically.

Him knowing Cheryl better than Toni is true but it doesn't mean much and in regards to him not getting in the way of her schemes I mean if he's tryna figure shit out stopping Cheryl would prevent him from learning more

Cheryl is self absorbed she's extremely unhinged etc but I don't agree that Cheryl ever saw Toni as a vanity project she's just a white girl with PTSD I actually think he can't perceive intense emotion towards a woman as a attempt of goodwill so he immediately attaches it to a project when in reality his little teen book is a legit vanity project

He in tandem with his mommy issues is mixing up unintended results from behavior with intention which to me is a technical root of him as a character he can't see woman as people until the world's at stake

I don't think other people don't see Cheryl as conviving Betty can tell,Ronnie sees how messy she is and Archie wants to see the good in people. Toni loves a complicated woman so that's it's own thing

For most of the show Jughead cannot maintain emotional intimacy with a woman if she is not perfect he's been scarred by his mom who is sharp and kinda a dick it's not that he's the only one that sees it's that he believes himself to be above the woman most like him V and Cheryl because that makes him feel safe in his denial bubble

The final woman he dates isn't even a woman she's a godamn angel like Tabitha because unlike a normal woman who would pass by his pathetic ass and live her life she's stays because it's the angels will or whatever

So yes beef is the wrong word but things that make jug like righteous are the things that he has in common with someone else he's like Alice (I believe she's his ant but that another thing)

The whole point is jughead is not brilliant thinker or person he's just a WHITE guy who was forced to save the world he is just judgmental guy who perspective by extension is warped and that includes his perception of Cheryl

Cheryl's beef with jughead cracks me up because it reads more as what jug presumes Cheryl thinks about him like she says so little to him and it's always about him being homeless or gay like don't get me wrong she's classist but she's got way more depth than that

Also like she's chill with Kevin Arch and Reggie so she's able to be around dudes

[cherizards]

i cant believe im reviving this stupid 9 year old blog instead of just ghosting like i usually do and its all because of fucking SUPERNATURAL

[jupitermelichios]

So I decided to try watching Riverdale, and I have... thoughts. And also the words ‘holy homoeroticism batman’ written several times in increasingly large letters.

I started on season 2, because everything i read suggested that was when the show went off the rails, and i am here exclusively for the batshit weirdness. but it’s fine, because the show decided to fill me in on what i missed during the two consecutive 'previously on' sequences. was one not enough? was there an ad break between them? did they think people would forget what show they were watching if there wasn’t a little break and a logo splash halfway through?

we open on archie rushing his dad into the worlds most empty emergency room. there’s no one, no patients, no doctors, not even a receptionist, just a big empty room, right until the extras smell the blood of a protagonist and all converge. i assume they’re just desperate for something to do, working in the world’s least used hospital.

does snake pliskin exist in this universe? betty makes a reference that doesn’t really make any sense otherwise and given what i know about where the show goes eventually, it feels like a very real possibility. is this the escape from new york universe?

jingle jangle. they called the drug jingle jangle. honestly no criticism, amazing job everyone on the writing team, keep it up!

“dropping vintage bon-mot like vintage bon-bons” is a hell of a line that only works if you have no idea how bon-mot is said (and no idea what one does with a bon-bon. why are you dropping your candy on the floor veronica). fortunately neither the writers or the actress delivering it do, so it’s fine.

getting into the shower with someone without asking is a risky proposition. You have to be really sure they want it. there’s normal ‘i thought you were into it but you’re not’ awkwardness, and then there’s ‘i thought you were into it but you’re not and also i’m standing here wet and naked now’ awkwardness.

how many gangs are opperating in riverdale? I count three so far. riverdale is not that big, is it?

Actually for real, how big is riverdale? I have absolutely no idea. it’s a local small town with exactly one place to eat but it supports two highschools and three gangs. do we know where riverdale is, and is it anywhere near smallville?

cheryl sure knows how to dress for maximum drama. in general i’m basically neutral on the costumes, but everything cheryl has worn has been a Look and i am here for it. sexy runway victorian ghost aesthetic, yes, amazing, no criticisms.

define hood, because i’m not sure you know what it means. that’s a mask. i get that the comics character is called the black hood, but the costume team could have put him in a hood, why was their solution ‘ski mask but no one in town will admit it’s a ski mask’

half the high school is in this fucking hospital to support archie’s dad, good thing there’s zero other patients or staff or it would be getting crazy crowded

what riots, pop? you can’t just drop in ‘someone threw a brick through our window during the riots’ with no further explanation. what fucking riots?!

wise old spiritual black man, but he's just some dude is a take honestly. does he have some kind of special knowledge or divine connection? nope, he’s just a dude who likes being extremely cryptic in service of absolutely nothing

is cheryl magic? does she think she's magic? what does she think the kiss of life is?  i was under the impression that magic wasn’t going to be real in this show for another season or two, but cheryl apparently does not agree!

the problem with every actor playing a kid in this show being in their mid twenties (insert KennieJD ‘brooding hot 25 year old teenager’ jingle) is that then they show a music teacher kissing a student and i have absolutely no context for how creepy it’s supposed to be. like, she’s twenty, he’s twenty, we’re not in a school setting, I have no idea how i’m supposed to be reacting. he might be an adult who’s decided to take up piano, or she might be a straight up paedophile, and i have literally no idea which. am i supposed to be sad she’s dead?

headmaster is weirdly supportive of his students becoming armed vigilantes. i feel like every teacher i’ve ever had would have had more questions than that.

as the grandchild of a silversmith, i have to say, veronica polishing the silver cutlery as one of her chores is a weirdly believable detail for a show this unhinged. that was one of my chores as a teenager, and still is when i stay with my mum for more than a couple of days. pros of your grandad knowing how to silver-plate: pretty. cons: absolutely everything that stood still long enough eventually got silver plated and it all needs polishing.

Love that everyone still has archie comics names. the mob lawyer is called penny peabody. amazing.

maybe it's the fact that i'm in my 30s but archie's dad is the only attractive person on this show

ebony dark'ness dementia raven way would be very disappointed by how milktoast the goths in this show are. try harder, CW wardrobe department.

oh man, the lighting team absolutely went off for this show, and i kind of love that it's in service of absolutely nothing

holy homoeroticism batman

i’m in this weird place where objectively bonkers things have happened, but not as much or in the way that i want them to, and i can’t decide if it’s worth sticking with it to get to the later more bonkers seasons.

on an unrelated note though, this is the creative team i would choose for a nailbiter adaptation. the weird lighting and colour pallettes, the time displaced americana vibe, honestly even some of the writing, exactly what i would want from a nailbiter tv show.

[sunshinebunnie]

31, 34, 35 re: fic writer ask because you fascinate me! 😇❤️🫣

Thank you so much, hun, for the lovely ask!!! I appreciate you talking to me!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Hmmmm….for Euphoria, probably Ash, and for Riverdale—the first fandom I started writing fic for (mind you, I read fic for a loooooooooooonnnng time before I ever wrote any, although I wrote original fic years before that)—I would say Cheryl Blossom. In both cases, I’d mostly for the same reason—they’re both such unhinged characters in a lot of ways that you can give them the most outrageous, funny, sarcastic lines. It helps me integrate humor into my stories in a way, that, as a smut writer, I may not always feel fits for my main characters. 🙂 As for has reader response swayed those choices, I don’t think so? I definitely appreciate it though when someone tells me a line or a scene I’ve given to them made the reader laugh or that it stuck with them though! 🤗🤗🤗

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

Hahaha. I’d say I definitely put a lot of my life experiences into my stories. I’ve had a lot of really crazy, varied life experience, so there’s A LOT for me to draw on with my writing. (Which I like to believe helps my stories resonate with people???? 🥺🥺) I think the closest I’ve really come to putting myself in my writing would be in my most recent fic for the Good Girls fandom where one of the minor characters JT goes on a rant about all the stupid shit that’s gonna get one of Rio’s front operations flagged for money laundering. I didn’t have to go so hard on that, but a lottttttttt of that was definitely my personal mission to civilize. 😂😂😂 As for what do I think readers’ image of me is—I know this is gonna seem like a cop out—but honestly, I’m pretty shocked to find out people think of me *at all*. My parents divorced when I was super young (but they were good about joint custody), which meant that I often wasn’t around during weekends/school breaks/summers—not to mention, my mom shipped me overseas in the summers when I was in middle school to stay with my nana & great-aunt. So, basically, people got used to me never being around to do things, so that when I **WAS** actually around, no one actually thought to invite me. Lol. Which is all to say, I don’t really expect my readers think about me all that much. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (This is also why I get so excited when people take the time to send me asks and stuff! It’s like, “Yay!!!! A person wants to talk to me!!!!”)

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

It’s definitely helped me find community, for sure. Plus, I’ve always been someone who’s used creative writing as an outlet when I’ve been dealing with shit, and this past year especially (with all my daughter’s health stuff), I’ve needed that outlet more than ever. Fic writing is one of the few things I do purely for myself and it’s such a source of positive reinforcement. It’s truly reinvigorating for the soul. (I cannot emphasize enough the, at times, desperately needed serotonin boost those AO3 “you have a comment” emails & the comments therein have given me this past year!!!) 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Thank you so much for the ask, doll!!! I hope you’re having a terrific weekend!!!!

Fan fic writing asks

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I now do want a dark comedy animated series based on the silver age Superman comics with Judy “Cheryl/Carol/Cristal/Charlene Tunt” Greer as the voice of the unhinged manic pixie nightmare girl that is the silver age Lois

Lois: I feel like maybe one day Superman would just snap my air hose while we’re in space together

comitting the perfect murder, with me as the only one who knows the truth

Officially it would be a tragic accident. BUT I’D KNOW THE TRUTH

I die choking for air in the cold black void of space and the last thing I see is his face, confirming that he’s the only one to witness my space death and we’re locked forever in the final intimacy of this dark secret

Lana, who just wanted to ask Lois if she wanted to grab lunch: JESUS CHRIST

Lois: I’M WET JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

Livewire, your habit of repeatedly murdering/attempting to murder people is very problematic okay O.O

[bireggiemantle]

please tell us about your riverdale ocs if you feel comfortable doing so, i have the sense that they'll be fun

okay so for context here are the relationships at play. jughead/archie/tabitha/veronica are in a fourple (ik the word is polycule shut up). reggie and sweet pea are divorced because sweet pea decided to run off with josie. him and reggie are on good terms though. betty is in a committed relationship with murder. cheryl is in a committed relationship with witchcraft. toni and fangs are happily married. and kevin.

all of the ocs and their brief backstories/personality descriptions will be listed below the cut. I share these ocs with @greatkateweathermachine btw :)

Tina - biologically she's the varchie kid, although all four members of jabronchie raised her. she's the oldest of the group aside from baby anthony, and honestly she's relatively normal. she's a quiet girl with a big heart and she's a little nerdy. she leaves riverdale once she goes to college and even though she does visit, she has no plans of moving back.

Riley - riley is biologically the jabitha kid (again raised by all of jabronchie), and she's about eight years younger than tina. she's essentially the worst parts of all her parents combined. she's reckless and absolutely off the shits and has a taste for arson. her hair is permanently dyed kool-aid blue and she's a lesbian. she's dating jessica and her two best friends are cameron and april.

Greg - he's the first of sweet pea's and reggie's and while he's a little bit of a dumb jock stereotype he's pretty nice. he's a year older than riley and he's exes with jessica, which riley loves to make fun of him for.

Cameron - he's the second of reggie's and sweet pea's kids, and he's a year younger than greg (the same age as riley). he's best friends with riley, jessica, and april, and chronically unable to say no to any of their insane ideas. he helped riley light off fireworks in the girl's bathroom one time.

April - april just kind of showed up on betty's doorstep one day. she's similar to charles in the sense that she appears normal at first glance but in reality she has a taste for blood. she's also a little unsettling because she speaks in a very monotone way. she's about a year younger than cameron and riley.

Fangs Jr. - he's toni's and fangs's second kid, and about three years younger than baby anthony. he doesn't have too much going on. he's essentially exactly like fangs but yk. younger.

Gonzo - he's toni's and fangs's third kid. his real name is ethan, but in true serpent fashion he decided to change it to the stupidest nickname you've ever heard. he's very nice and a little weird, but mostly nice. he's the same age as riley and cameron.

Chrysanthemum (Chryssy) and Petunia - these are cheryl's nightmare children. they're about a year younger than tina and baby anthony, and they're the creepiest pair of twins you've ever seen. cheryl spent forever looking for a set of redheaded girls and chryssy and petunia are like the perfect match for her. they're practically inseparable and they fit cheryl's brand of bitchy white girl to a t. just. much creepier.

Jessica - (she was named before jughead's ex was introduced don't yell at me). she's not a kid of any of the main rvd characters. instead, she has normal parents, she's just weird as hell anyway. she's pretty reckless and a little unhinged, although significantly more subdued than riley is (low bar). jughead kind of hates her based on the name alone, but she and riley are endgame so he'll have to learn to cope.

Those are all the ocs we have so far!! I'd love to talk more about them if anybody is interested, and I have a short fic written about riley and jughead already. tysm for the ask!! I'm so glad I finally got to introduce these characters here

[twelvedaysinaugust]

Liam seems strung out or drunk in that interview. It’s scary to see

The fact that Liam was drinking during the podcast was concerning, considering he’s admitted to having a drinking problem. So he’s using alcohol again, at the very least.

I guess this is an unpopular opinion, but the podcast wasn’t as unhinged as I was expecting, given the way everyone was talking about it. Liam overstepped, without a doubt. These are the kind of things to discuss with a therapist, not Logan Paul. It’s clear that Liam is struggling right now and a lot of what he said about Zayn and 1D was uncalled for. At the same time, I feel like people are being very selective about what they’re quoting. Liam shouldn’t have said that Gigi’s tweet about finding a respectful man didn’t age well. Nor should Liam have mentioned Zayn’s family or personal struggles. At the same time, Liam expressed a lot of compassion for Zayn and, by the end of the conversation, painted him in a sympathetic light (I thought). Louis and Harry’s comments about Zayn haven’t always done that. Liam also told a lot of positive stories about Bear, Cheryl, and fatherhood.

Liam overshared and overstepped. Once again, it seemed like he was trying to relive a time that’s passed. But I don’t think this interview is the train wreck everyone is making it out to be.