#riverdale seasons ranked

[jugheadvarchoni]

Ranking every Riverdale Season (from worst to best)

Reminder: this is just MY opinion. Feel free to share your own!

7. Season 5

With the exception of the first 3 episodes (which I just consider to be part of 4), this season was just a huge nothingburger disappointment. The idea of a time jump was cool, and it even started out okay. Then it quickly went off the rails and not only fell back into repeat territory but the jump itself was just executed so poorly… I was beyond done with Hiram villain stuff atp. The Mothmen were fine, just nowhere near as good as the Gargoyle King or Black Hood for me. Too many characters are written TOO awfully (especially the queer characters) and sometimes it feels like they tried to cram way too much into it. It just leaves the season feeling bloated and incoherent. Best parts by far were Toni getting a big role and the introduction of Tabitha.

Still, those weren’t enough to save the season imo. Overall S5 felt the least like Riverdale to me & it was lowkey boring a lot, so it gets last place. Boo. 🍅

6. Season 4

I’m actually so serious when I say I really love this season. S5 is probably the only one I dislike, the rest of these can change at the drop of a hat lol.

The main reason I’m putting S4 here is that it was very hit or miss with my enjoyment of the storylines. Jughead’s stuff at Stonewall was okay. Cheryl got another unhinged story when she should’ve been getting therapy, Archie’s story was mind-numbing, The Auteur was creepy and great until it was revealed to be Jellybean (wah-wah-wah). Maybe it has to do with COVID throwing things off, but the whole season was just a little lackluster and disjointed. Also, TICKLE-PORN?????

The tribute to Luke Perry was beautiful tho. Miss him. 💔

5. Season 1

ALRIGHT. Before you pull out those pitchforks, just hear me out. It’s an incredible season, it’s the most well-written, the tone was amazing, and it set everything up perfectly.

But I do think that because it’s only the first season, and because it’s so short, a lot of the dynamics I personally love just don’t exist. Toni isn’t on the show yet. And I feel like part of what made Riverdale stand out, WAS the craziness and the willingness to do literally anything remotely cuckoo, which S1 just didn’t have. I’m just personally very attracted to wackiness of the other seasons. It’s a little overrated.

But again, this still season is INCREDIBLE and I’m still obsessed with its’ vibes.

4. Season 7

Don’t hurt me. 😭

But buckle up, because I have a lot to say here.

I REALLY had such a good time with this season… I mean, the Choni of it all is really want gets me obsessively thinking about this season on a daily basis. The way they were treated in the first half is everything I wished for them back in the earlier seasons. If this were a ranking based on Choni throughout the seasons, S7 would be #1. Kevin also got a ton of great stuff. S7 was so kind to the queer characters… Other than them, I just love how they got to have FUN. They took us back in time and basically just put the characters into an old-timey Archie Comic. Ridiculous but entertaining side plots that actually kept me interested and put the characters in a totally new environment. And despite the fact that people seem to want to ignore this, they ARE still the characters we’ve known and loved since S1, they just didn’t remember. But the memories are still there, and still inform all of their decisions and relationships.

Unfortunately, my biggest gripe with S7 is the way it feels disconnected to the rest of the show overall. They really let the comet story flop hard. Even if we decided to stay in the 50s in the end, we should’ve had way more time with our characters with their memories. They should’ve had conversations that were long overdue, that circle back and bring things to a close, the way final seasons should. I would’ve preferred they go back to the present, but in an altered timeline due to all the changes made to their lives. Tabitha was WASTED and thrown away and it makes me so mad tbh. They chickened out with the Varchie vs Barchie thing and instead we got that dumbass polycule and everyone dating everyone only for literally no one to end up with anyone (except Choni & Clevin uwu). The later half is especially a letdown, because that’s when we should’ve been ramping up to the end with their memories and certain people coming back together. Instead, we just got a lot of randomness. Which, while fun, doesn’t make for a good final season imo.

I think this season would’ve been ranked in my top 3 had it NOT been the final one…

It’s such a polarizing season for me and that’s why it’s smack dab in the middle!

3. Season 2

What a lot of people consider the glory days lol.

Everything that was well-established in S1 was built on and just made even better. The dynamics between the core four and each one of their storylines was spot on and interesting. Black Hood is probably the most interesting mystery villain we ever had on the show and delving deeper into the Cooper family was great. The slasher horror movie vibes with Black Hood’s story & his victims were just elite.

The season was darker and full of lots of twists and turns, which I always appreciate to keep my on my toes. We got introduced to Toni and Choni was born!

It did have some meh stuff tho, the Archie vs Hiram wasn’t all that interesting to me in this season, even though I DO like Hiram a lot. He’s always been an intriguing character to me, I just think he was severely overused. I also don’t like Bughead lol. The Chic stuff is hit or miss. It was bordering on crazy, but not quite at that sweet spot yet.

Overall this season was more exciting and deeper than even the likes of S1. And this is, of course, where we started getting into the Southside Serpents and the gang wars, which I think is such an iconic aspect of the show. Just a fun, deeper, more interesting season for me!

2. Season 6

I’m a sucker for witches and magic and time travel shenanigans, so this season was RIGHT up my alley. Rivervale, Sabrina, the spookiness, Cheryl’s witch arc, Percival was great, Tabitha getting to shine, I loved SO much of this season. Having one villain, that they all focus on I think did wonders for the cohesiveness of the season. Almost everyone got involved in it, there weren’t as many tangential storylines, and the buildup to the comet was so much fun. It was the perfect blend of camp and wackadoodleness and serious life/death stuff.

The worst part for me, is the ships. Tangs being a plague on society and them making Toni’s whole storyline about being a mother (a bad, awful one ugh). Fangs was never a standout to me, but they just made him insufferable this season. The custody battle was insanely stupid and a waste of time. “Baby Anthony” sucked (Dale FTW). Barchie has always bored me. Cheryl/Heather just felt like besties lol. The ships suffered hard in this season lol.

Still, we got Choni confirmed soulmates and Thabigail + Jughead/Tabitha were cute. So that aspect wasn’t ALL bad.

Tonally, it’s soooo different from the other seasons but I think they strike a better balance between mystery villainous plot and campiness than the other seasons. I ate up the supernatural and horror stuff, the plot is one of the most consistent in the whole show, there’s good character development and I just loved the craziness. They easily redeemed themselves after that abysmal S5. 🙏

1. Season 3

Ahhh PEAK insanity. Wild, compelling, dark but also silly af sometimes. The show went off the rails in the best way and I have a blast every time I watch it. A true fever dream. They embraced the crazy and I think that’s what sets it apart from all the other seasons. Imo, there isn’t a single “bad” episode here. They were still in high school, giving us that teenage drama/those dynamics that made Riverdale what it is. My fav ships were together (not without their drama), there was an intriguing mystery with the Gargoyle King. The flashback episode with the parents was amazinggggg and I loved everything about the Gryphon’s and Gargoyle’s storyline and how it trickled down to affect so many people. The atmosphere of the season, the main cast that got focus and actually got to have screentime together, Heathers heing probably their strongest musical. I love it SO MUCH.

There are some weaker points tho. There is a lot that happens this season, like A LOT. But I enjoyed it so much that I lowkey give it a pass for being so convoluted. Dilton was wasted and killed off after not getting much in general. Bughead & Veggie suck. I wish the G&G and Cult stuff had been intertwined better.

An organ harvesting cult led by Chad Michael Murray? Archie fighting a bear? Mass seizures? Babies thrown into a fire and then levitating? Veronica opening a speakeasy as a teenager? Choni cat burglars? Archie in juvie? Bunker sex? Speakeasy sex? Fizzle rocks? Killer DnD? THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL?

I-C-O-N-I-C. Riverdale is at its best for me when it doesn’t care about being a normal gritty teen show. Maybe this season was a little messier, but I think the sheer fun and craziness more than makes up for that. Everytime I rewatch this season, I enjoy the crap out of it and am reminded why I love these characters and this silly little show so much. ♥️

So to recap:

S3 > S6 > S2 > S7 > S1 > S4 > S5

P.S: if there’s a major typo or I put something in the wrong season, lemme know. I just regurgitated this all from memory when I woke up so my thoughts were hella jumbled…

[sumquiasum]

rate riverdale villains on a scale from physical -> psychological in methodology. who do you think was most effective in their villainy?

rambles under the cut

doing this made me realise most riverdale villains are actually pretty effective, up to a point. also most of them function more on a psychological than a physical level. basically I sorted them as effective if they frequently succeed in what they set out to do through their methods (in a way, thus, "effectiveness" = "success"). dodger could rank higher but I just don't care about him. at all. the stonies rank so low because most of them died and they didn't actually manage to kill jughead. charles is not on here because he never did anything wrong in his life, edgar and evelyn are missing because the effective psychological quadrant is already overcrowded.

why are some ppl on there multiple times? well, the black hood is very much a primarily physical threat who only fails to kill one person. he psychologically torments betty, of course, but mostly he just kills people. hal in s3, on the other hand, is primarily a psychological threat. he tries (and mostly fails) to manipulate betty hannibal lecter style, only having a short stint as a physical threat in the back half (covered by the black hood in the upper left quadrant). s2 Chic is not physically imposing at all, he is very much insidiously trying to worm his way into the cooper family whereas s5 chic does not care about finesse, he wants to get married and also have his husband's ex stabbed.

I struggled placing hiram but I decided to put pre-time jump hiram smack in the middle between physical and psychological because he does use both methods to get what he wants. he is, without a doubt, the most effective villain (after percival). yes, he suffers setbacks, but at the end of the day he gets everything he wants. post-time jump hiram is a different story, though. more of a psychological than a physical threat (do the bombs count? I sort of counted them, thus more physical than Percival) and, starting towards the middle of the season, a broken man who's a shadow of his former self who gets left by everyone and chased out of town with pitchforks. he still gets the last laugh by blowing up archie's house, which is why he's still ranked so highly in effectiveness.

regarding percival: I hate the guy but wow did he succeed. in basically everything. of course he was defeated in the end but... not without literally wiping riverdale off the map. what gives him the edge over hiram is that he did All That after finding himself in a new universe and within only one season. chapeau.

I could keep talking about this and I could keep tweaking this but for now I'm done and I'm setting it free.

[uglygirlstatus]

Curious to see how you’d rank every Riverdale musical episode

this ask has been in my inbox for months because I could not make up my mind whatsoever and had to rewatch all musical eps 2x each to decide.

Splitting rankings into categories for my own sake: Songs (ranked on both quality and integration), Plot (entertainment value of the storyline points featured), and Iconry (ratio of special/memorable/iconic lines and scenes)

#6. American Psycho

Songs ⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I remember somehow being underwhelmed when I first watched this because I had really hyped myself up after reading the episode description. But now in a post-50sdale world, I realize how lucky we were with this one. We got SlaughterCon, Cheryl and Kevin hexing Toni and Fangs, Betty being gay, Kevin not warning Betty in advance that he added a bit to his musical number where Doctor Curdle Jr dresses as TBK and then getting visibly annoyed with her when she interrupts it fearing for his life, Betty finally killing TBK and he’s literally just wrapped in duct tape and garbage bags, AS WELL AS Archie’s Labour Union all in one episode. However, since this IS a ranking of musical episodes, I’m afraid I can’t let the incredible plot compensate too much for the lack of strong musical bangers.

Stand out lines:

“It’s your dad’s knife. I bought it on eSlay.”

“Betty Cooper, are you hot for agent Drake?”

“You’re one of us. An American Psycho.”

Not a line but shoutout to Lili Reinhart’s boobs in You Are What You Wear.

#5. Carrie

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cheryls heavily autotuned explosion into “THATS NOT MY NAAAAAAAME” will forever tickle me. And her finale drenching herself in blood and coming to her mother with the candelabra to threaten burning down their mansion for a second time is one of the top ten Cheryl Blossom moments for all time. Everything about the presence of Alice Cooper also kills me like she is IN this high school musical. Madchen I could listen to pitch correction software fighting for its life against your dulcet tones forever. I read in a Twitter thread by the duo who produces all the Riverdale music that Madchen had literally never sung in her entire life prior to this episode. And they still gave her a solo. Amazing. The plot doesn’t carry as much weight for me in this one but the I love the integration of the music, and it also gave us the first ever Beronica duet and Fifi appearance. Oh and rip Midge!

Stand Out Lines:

“I will not succumb to thespian terrorism!”

“I’m not the same girl who burned down Thornhill.” “Sure you are!”

“Nightmare child, what do you want from me?!”

#4. Next to Normal

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️

This one has real emotional impact okay. It was genuinely moving. I love when the musical episodes tackle a huge range of plot lines and still try to apply the niche musical choice of the season to each of them. We have Cooper grieving & family choreography and spite-Jabitha and Cheryl attacking her mother with song & holy water and Varchie being useless and Britta becoming Cheryl’s little child servant/protege. Reggie is there too. Also all of the music hits for real. It’s a shame that “I Am The One” and “I’m Alive” had so much cut in the ep because the spectres of Polly and Charles are killing it on the harmonies in the full versions. I could listen to Lili Reinhart sing all day long. Above all though I think my favourite part is the uncanny photoshop of Alice and Betty and Polly in front of the Next to Normal Broadway poster.

Stand Out Lines:

“YOU’VE GOT SOME NERVE JUGHEAD, AND I’M JUST ALL NERVES!”

“I’m gonna eat in the garage.”

“You remind me of Hiram Lodge.” “I don’t know who that is. But please, have a Swelligrino for the road.”

#3. Heathers

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Guys It’s so crazy that Midge literally died in the middle of our musical last year. Anyway time for Heathers! Something fun about this episode is that I first watched it before I was fully Riverdalepilled and was still foolishly rolling my eyes at the show while I watched with my mom and sister. I was like “guys Heathers is actually a great musical, it’s going to be hard for me to see what Riverdale does to it”. We began watching and very soon my mom and sister were commenting on the music. It quickly dawned on me that they were complaining about the aspects of the show that were more or less unchanged from the original musical. And I had a great epiphany moment where I realized 1) Heathers is sort of bad 2) if I loved Heathers the musical in earnest then why should I not love Riverdale? Heathers was actually PERFECTLY CRAFTED to be performed by the Riverdale cast. Anyway. This episode had a lot going for it. Lodge divorce arc straight into Veronica partying. Kevin’s sudden perm. Toni’s threesome fake out. Our favourite Chad Michael Murray Rhythmic cult clapping. And of course KJ Apa doing this

Stand Out Lines

“Did you have a lobotomy for breakfast?”

“Here I invented red. I AM red. *snaps*”

“Evelyn called a closed rehearsal for select members in the Gargoyle Chamber.”

#2. Archie the Musical

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one had EVERYTHINGGGGGGGG. Fun with the meta narrative and original songs mixed with covers taken from various obscure and specific sources and by far some of the most fun choreography and sets of all musical episodes since they were able to be so free with it. Seeing Gay Kevin back in his natural habitat of directing the school musical was so heartwarming. Jughead and Reggie quitting immediately. Archie going left. And Archie going right. Bisexually. Julian demolishing Archie vocally every chance he gets. And knowing it. Also every single facial expression and mannerism that Julian has in this episode is god tier. Actually kj apa too. Actually also Lili and Camilla. SANDWICH? The loudest in-song sound effects we’ve ever experienced. Archie the happiest he’s ever been in his life on the back of Toni’s bike. BERONICA - PRIMAL AND INTENSE! My review is barely coherent because this one does fill me with silly giddy joy. Plot loses a star because how the hell are we expected to care about Gay Kevin’s divorcing parents. I know “ohh suffering isn’t a competition ohhh” Ethel just watched her parents get murdered by a milkman and no one sang for her.

Stand Out Lines:

“I don’t wanna be a drip, but it’s super distracting when my understudy is singing literally at the same time as me!”

“You completely captured the longing of being in a queer, interracial relationship in the 1950s.”

“Maybe there are other more emotionally complex mountains to climb.”

“The new Archie, Julian, he’s even better than the real Archie!”

#1. Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

On a 9 hour flight to Europe in the Summer I had all the Riverdale musical eps downloaded to rewatch and then noticed that among the plane’s complimentary movie selections was the original movie of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which was pure kismet. I decided to watch the movie for the first time prior to rewatching the Riverdale ep and I was blown away. Knowing the context of all the songs and musical they chose to include in the episode made everything so much more insane. The song about feeling like a stranger in your body after surgical malpractice being used for the Bughead conflict over Juggie prioritizing mysteries over finishing high school and Varchie conflict over Archie not telling Veronica about her dad’s epic fail at the gym. 20? something year old gay Kevin proclaiming WE ARE GENERATION Z before jumping into Random Number Generation. The BIZARRELY spliced version of the best ever rendition of Origin of Love all for BARCHIE FODDER?!? Actually all the rest of the songs were perfectly fitting no notes. Anyway hallway full of students in Hedwig drag one of the top Riverdale shots ever though I forever mourn KJ Apa’s absence. At least he got to kiss a man in this one. The plane hit turbulence while I watching the Midnight Radio scene but I was so happy witnessing it in that moment that I thought to myself “it would be ok if I died right now”.

Stand Out Lines:

“Writing a book report? Now I know how Sisyphus must have felt.”

“It celebrates identities, genders, expressions of all kinds.”

“[scoffs] How queer-phobic of you.”

“There’s a problem that comes once you get caught up on your homework. Your mind wanders and evil creeps back in.”

I was convinced Archie the Musical would come out on top for me due to the obscene level of euphoria I felt upon first experiencing it but after intensive review I do have to say Hedwig wins. Ultimately I miss the original timeline that much and I am all for the events that eventually tear apart everyone’s relationships and most of all it gave us Origin of Love full version Riverdale cast edition. But know that it is so so so so so close between the two. And honestly really all 6 are close in my heart as this exercise reminded me just how much the musical episodes are to watch and rewatch.

[jugheads-choni]

If Riverdale-Jughead HAD to end up with someone, I would’ve wanted it to be Tabitha. (Obviously I would prefer aro/ace over anything, but they were cowards, so…).

I feel like Jabitha were by far one of the most mature and healthiest couples on the show, who imo had a beautiful love story and good chemistry.

It sucks that Tabitha was reduced to being a plot device in S7 and that her relationship with Jughead just fizzled out into nothing. She was the only person I would’ve wanted for him.

The polycule was kind of a funny way to settle all the ship wars, but I stand by that it would’ve worked better with Reggie in it instead of Jughead (I feel like KJ & Charles would’ve actually been totally cool with Archie/Reggie and it would’ve been a nice nod to the comics where Reggie is often thrown into the iconic love triangle mix 😂).

Basically, I wish they’d handled all the ships better because the couples were SUCH a driving force for the show lol. I feel like that was one of S7’s weaker points, despite the season as a whole being pretty high in my ranking.

[james-stark-the-writer]

terrible news, i tried to watch the Friendly Space Ninja Riverdale finale video again and i think i've pinpointed my problem with his videos, specifically the Riverdale ones but also just his general approach to media criticism, it's just the terrible wave of "objective criticism" we had on youtube with shitheads like Mauler but framed as just a more subjective opinion and it tries to pretend like that makes it any better, which it doesn't, like it really doesn't, because the underlying assumption that there is only one way to tell any type of story is just such a terrible thing for art but also he just fundamentally doesn't understand what type of art Riverdale is and there's just such a sheer lack of even attempting to treat it as a serious piece of art because the assumption is already that because popular consensus is that it sucks (the critical consensus has actually been consistently fucking great, you could just go look at the Rotten Tomatoes scores or even check out the legacy section on Riverdale's Wikipedia page), that means it automatically is trash, it never gets the opportunity to fight for itself because it's never given the chance to be thought of as a piece of art. it's an insistence that writing is the only way to analyze an audio-visual medium and like sure, writing doesn't "age" the same way other elements might, but audiences do age and change and evolve, media criticism does too, there's a reason people appreciate the Star Wars prequels more now than they ever did at release because we understand different ways of appreciating art now beyond the base insistence that conventionally "good" writing is the only thing to aim for (the prequels are actually well written but let's not get into THAT rn), that doesn't make the prequels "bad," it just means the prequels are different. i find the whole good/bad paradigm pretty suffocating in the first place but this is just so exhausting and i cannot believe that I've just managed to articulate it bc it seems shockingly obvious in retrospect.

also the video in question is just like factually wrong multiple times, he flat out admits he skips a lot of the season but then complains that the season doesn't make sense when he's jumping in at a random point, he complains that the previous seasons are meaningless but it's like has he forgotten that the audience doesn't forget stuff even if the characters have (and they even get their memories back in a thematically important and resonant moment the defines who the characters want to be so it's not really even entirely sound criticism) and that the show is intentionally trying to do interesting parallels and reversals of the stuff we've seen before, it's like commenting on itself because season 7 is a nostalgic look back at what the comics have been and what the show started from, and about the nostalgic feelings of that time and their appeal contrasted with the brutal truths of the reality of the situation, like this is just basic art criticism, i'm not even like trying to defend the season, like i don't even like season 7 that much, i think it's one of the more boring seasons and it ranks towards the middle for me, but like this is not like deep criticism where you're thinking and analyzing a lot, this is just seeing what the plot of the episodes is and what they're trying to communicate, it's just really irritating how fucking exhausting the objective criticism shit is but it's actually even more grating when you don't pretend to be superior about it because it makes it seem like you're not even bold enough to stand by your opinions and actually embrace the implication present in the shit you are saying, like it's just cowardice, honestly. but anyway, glad i figured it out, because it was honestly irritating me that i couldn't articulate why i didn't like those videos beyond just them being wrong about Riverdale on like a factual level and him just not understanding what it's trying to say as a piece of art.

the point of this isn't to say that i think he's making these arguments in bad faith or anything, i do think these are genuinely opinions he holds, and they are valid opinions for him to hold, i'm not saying they're invalid, you can prefer one aspect of a piece of media over other aspects because it's more important to you, that's okay, i'm just saying they're misinformed takes and generally display a shocking lack of imagination and respect for art and no desire to broaden his horizons.

anyway, if you actually want to understand the appeal of Riverdale, go through the Riverdale tag on my blog for my own analysis (but here's somewhere to get started), or if you want videos, the Super Eyepatchwolf video is pretty good, i still disagree with it a lot but at least the man tries to understand why people like the show and he even gets some part of the appeal, and we are going to get 4 5-hour videos from Lily Simpson over the next few months so i'm looking forward to those, bc Lily generally tends to at least understand the appeal of the stuff she talks about, and the title of the first video ("the captivating madness of Riverdale" [though i don't love the use of "madness"]) is already enough to make me feel like somebody kinda gets it and hopefully it'll be more coherent actual art analysis.

[sammygender]

spn seasons ranked by how much i enjoy watching them

s4 > s2 > s5 > s1 > s3 > s7 > s9 > s10 > s11 > s6 > s8 > s13 > s15 > s12 > s14

notes for clarification:

- s5 is high even though it makes me want to commit suicide every ep bc of the general narrative around sam cause it’s just Good

- s7 is a similar level to all kripke seasons bc i like hallucifer so much and it doesn’t have any Offensively Boring episodes to me which is v hard to say about post kripke seasons

- i literally only like the end of s8 which is why it’s so low/high. like what it gives us is truly great i just don’t enjoy any of the amelia or benny stuff even though i like that it HAPPENED. if that makes sense. amelia stuff was fine actually but purgatory 😐

- mark of cain defender til i die, sorry, such a terrible and fun plotline to me

- have not finished s15 yet, it’s kinda similar to s13 for me, i like the general plot of s15 a lot but s13 had crazy ass samluciferjack stuff, so i had to put s13 above, but i think s13 has both lower and higher points than s15 (so far). obviously s15 consistently makes absolutely 0 sense but like whatever i dont expect logical consistency from spn anymore

- s14 is pretty much ass

- the thing is s6 and s8 are both logically better seasons than anything s12 and onwards but like. s12 has american nightmare and jack being born and lucifer nonsense (i’m sorry for being a late seasons lucifer enjoyer). s13 has JACK and dean being an abusive father and more lucifer nonsense. s15 has evil god world is a lie and it’s also just.. kind of fun. in a riverdale way. plus dean dies at the end of it so. my experiences watching s13/15 are certainly better than watching s6/8 but then again i skip s13/15 episodes whereas i don’t in s6/8 so i ended up putting s6/8 above <3

anyway nobody asked for this but it was fun. if you read this far you should do your own ranking and tell me

[rythmicjea]

Them: What's your favorite season of Riverdale?

Me: Season 7!

T: Why?

Me: Okay. So after they fail to stop a comet hurdling to Earth they time travel back to 1955-

Wait... What?

Okay, so in Season 6 they get superpowers...

How?

Okay, let me go back a little, at the beginning of season 6 we're introduced to a parallel universe called RiverVale and that leaches into a Riverdale.

... How is there a parallel universe?

Oh, so at the end of season 5, Hiram Lodge detonates a bomb under Archie'a bed while he and Betty are about to have sex.

OMG! Why would he do that?

Oh! So, that's because after everyone graduates and moves away Hiram basically destroyed the town so he could make money off a real estate development scam and when Archie found out he brought everyone back to stop him.

I thought they were high schoolers...

Okay, so they graduated at the end of season 4 after spending most of the year trying to figure out who tried to kill Jughead for a third time. Because Jughead goes to this private school called Stonewall Prep.

A THIRD TIME?

Yeah. See, at the of season 3 Coke Sprite didn't want to practically be naked at 4am during a Canadian winter so they wrote him out of the scene and people think that the writers based the whole plot around that.

When was he almost killed the second time?

Right, so in season 3 they do an homage to the Satanic Panic surrounding DnD by creating a game called Gryffins and Gargoyles that asks you to gamble your life on drinking poisoned Kool-Aid. And that's completely separate to the organ harvesting cult that tried to suck in Betty through her mom and sister. Also this is all happening while Archie is in juvie-

Good guy Archie is in Juvie??

Yeah. So, in season 2, Jughead joins a gang (and this is the first time that he's almost killed because Hiram basically sends him off to be slaughtered but he survives) and Archie doesn't like that he did that so he joins ranks with Hiram because he's dating Veronica and thinks he can play both sides (he can't). And when Veronica chooses Archie over her dad, Hiram frames Archie for murder.

I thought it was about Archie Comics...

The show is about a town. A small town. And the people who live in that town. From a distance it presents itself like so many other small towns all over the world. Safe, decent, innocent. Get closer though and you start seeing the shadows underneath...

[akechi-if-he-slayed]

imo the perfect series finale for south park would be for them to dedicate their last couple of seasons to their junior + senior year of high school (yes live action because i think it would be awesome if done right, not insanely gritty and emo like riverdale). same startling humor and amusement, but kind of with a slightly more mature feel (because they are teenagers now after all; even though they don’t exactly “act their age” in the show, you can still tell their naive youth plays a big factor in a lot of their reasonings and motivations behind their actions and decisions) like yeah, they’re still being stupid and getting caught up in the weirdest shit, but this time they’re being dumb teenagers instead of dumb kids. also! feel like romance would definitely be a core thing, because you know. teenage hormones. no explicit scenes, but definitely make outs and the like, and their relationships would play a more crucial factor in the show. for example, i think that at the start of the live-action saga, wendy and stan would still be entertaining their on-and-off-again-friends-who-make-out-and-have-a-different-response-each-day-if-you-ask-whether-or-not-they’re-together and pretty soon, they’d eventually just break it off for good, and that would be a major coming of age moment for stan as he realizes he was only staying with wendy because she was “safe” and reminded him of being a kid.

PROM EPISODE (for junior year)!!! it would be so lit. huge, huge potential there to get everyone dolled up. stan and wendy would already be broken up by that time, so naturally stan and kyle would just go together as FRIENDS. MUTUAL BACHELORS. DEFINITELY NOTHING MORE….not like kyle turned down heidi’s ask because “i don’t want stan to feel alone” even though cartman and kenny don’t have dates either? also stan definitely doesn’t sneak a bottle in and definitely doesn’t skulk outside and kyle definitely doesn’t find him and just. sits and talks and just laughs and talks shit with him outside for the rest of the night and nothing is said about any sort of feelings kyle might have (if he’s even fully aware of them yet now that stan is 100% available for the first time in years) but. you can tell, everyone can tell that something is there, something is starting.

main highlights for this adaptation idea!

- bebe (cheer captain!) and wendy (heavily involved in asb, voted president senior year; there’s a whole episode dedicated to her campaign against kyle at the end of junior year, she wins by just a few votes) as the queens of the school, most popular girls (bebe in more of a gorgeous-can-have-any-guy-do-whatever-she-wants-and-have-them-all-want-her kind of way and wendy in a beautiful-and-powerful-top-of-the-class-but-definitely-not-an-outcast way)

- cartman still cartman but not nearly as volatile as he once was, still generally considered to be a dick, though. at first glance you think he’s a stupid football player meathead, but he’s actually incredibly smart when he wants to be, kyle is annoyed by this every time he shares an ap period with him and he actually does well.

- ordered class rankings (top 5): wendy (valedictorian), kyle, butters, cartman, heidi

- shelley moved across the country for college the second she graduated, so it’s just stan, randy, and sharon. naturally he spends the night at kyle’s so often that he leaves an overnight bag there and the broflovskis are never surprised to see him stumble out of kyle’s room in the morning

- bendy canon literally like two months after permanent stendy breakup. poor stan is helplessly confused: “has she been a lesbian this whole time????? did she think i was feminine??? is that why we were together for so long???”

- creek thriving as per

- kenny does musical theater and show choir. greatly enjoys it! butters is always front row and has never missed a performance.

- kyle captain of the debate team! wendy is vp, and there’s kind of been a weird tension between them ever since stendy split, you can practically hear her say “i know what you are.”

- stan enjoys volunteering at an animal shelter whenever he can, he keeps this a secret for as long as physically possible and this becomes a big plot point as he makes up increasingly suspicious and not very believable stories and excuses as for why he is rarely available after school despite having no job or clubs. rumors that spread: | randy has managed to get access to harder drugs and is using stan to deal them across south park | stan is a whore-for-hire and will give you an excellent bj if you pay up and meet him somewhere discreet (cartman started that one) | stan is part of a crime group conspiring to kill the mayor and control the city (this one has him end up at the police station with his head in his hands).

- gerald really wants kyle to be a lawyer and practically has all of his schools picked out for him, thereby unintentionally giving his son an existential crisis on what the heck he wants to do with his life because he does not want to do what his dad does but he also doesn’t have a good enough alternative to combat him.

- heavily hinted bunny, it’s literally right there but they tell everyone they’re just friends. ongoing gag of them being caught in compromising and/or suspicious positions but somehow having a seemingly reasonable explanation each time.

- college decisions would for sure be a big plot point towards the middle of their senior year, especially for kyle. he only applies to two schools and is accepted to both of them: princeton (college of his parents, their pick for him to study pre-law) and stanford (his pick, unknown to his parents that he even applied, to study psychology). yes it is absolutely insane that he only applied to two ivy leagues but what is even more insane is that his parents only wanted him to apply to princeton and no other schools. haha well now he has to explain to them that he is going to california and is not following their carefully constructed plan for his future haha

- stan is similar to shelley, he doesn’t really care where he goes as long as he gets to leave south park! he also knows he wants to do some sort of career helping animals but is unsure what exactly, so he just puts zoology as his major and applies to a lot of different schools. he ends up committing to uc davis! sharon is incredibly proud of him and cries when she sees the acceptance letter, randy is kind of bitter because he wanted stan to stay and help out with the farm since shelley booked it but eventually comes around (also stan would’ve gotten a job at 7/11 before he started working at tegridy alongside his dad).

- butters gets accepted to the university of rochester for biomedical sciences. kenny doesn’t plan on going to college, but him and butters decide to share a flat in the city, and kenny works odd jobs while also doing performances at various clubs in the at the area. also him and butters choosing to live together across the country is purely platonic!!! there is nothing romantic going on at all, they are just really good friends!! nobody buys this anymore

- cartman literally gets accepted to ucla on a full ride football scholarship for business management and it makes kyle want to tear him to shreds! liane would’ve absolutely somehow paid for his entire tuition anyway if she had to

i feel like the length of each episode would be about 45 minutes with the series finale being like 90 minutes, the first half being their graduation with wendy giving an incredibly corny yet oddly emotional speech as valedictorian that pretty much summarizes their entire lives in south park. and then the second half would kind of be just like providing conclusions and tying up loose ends such as:

- shelley flying back home for stan’s graduation and reconciling with him; she’s a junior at NYU and actually became a lot nicer and at peace with the world + herself after she was able to leave colorado

- randy actually having a good father-son moment with stan as they discuss his going off to school in california; stan realizes that his father definitely is not great, but he maybe also isn’t the worst person in the world

- a moment of “this is the last we’re ever gonna be like this, huh?” when the main four are hanging out at cartman’s, traditional teen paranoia of the future

- bunny finally 100% confirmed as scene shows with Kenny having his arm loosely hung around butters on someone’s couch, lightly pressed kiss on his cheek

ok i have a lot more but my #1 idea for the finale would be this:

- stan and kyle just aimlessly hanging out in the latter’s room about a week or two after graduation, easily talking about everything from college to music to new films to their friends; just enjoying each other’s company before fall comes (they are unbelievably dramatic. uc davis and stanford are like a hour’s drive away from each other but coming from best friends who have lived in the same city together their entire lives, an hour away may as well be a whole ass country away)

- occasional comfortable silence. kyle has come to terms with his feelings about stan at this point, but has chosen not to act on it in favor of keeping his longest friendship intact. nobody knows, he never told a soul. unbeknownst to him, stan has been accumulating the same feelings towards kyle, but likewise has been keeping them sealed tightly in so as not to ruin anything.

- eventually, they somehow start talking about relationships. stan never dated anyone else after breaking up with wendy at the start of junior year, and kyle has never truly dated anyone, not if you don’t count a faint fling with some loud city girl when he spent most of sophomore year summer with his mom’s family in new jersey. he came back from summer break more certain than ever that he was 100% gay. he recounts this story to stan for the first time (he’d been too embarrassed to tell anyone when he had come home) and it’s met with an enormous fit of laughter.

- they start talking about how weird it is to love someone, to have these strong urges and desires towards someone in a way that’s entirely unprovoked. to feel like you would do absolutely anything for this person, and to have life be unfathomable without them. they both agree on all their points, but no names are mentioned though!

- it’s the early morning hours before stan realizes how long they’ve been talking, and despite knowing he could stay the night, he decides to head home, suddenly flushed and overwhelmed with some sort of..something. does he really love kyle that much? in that way?

- the air is lightly tense as he leaves, kyle left feeling confused and slightly perturbed. against his butter judgment, he chases after stan outside, as he’s placing his key in his driver-side door to unlock his car.

- “wait!”

- stan turns his head, looking puzzled and faintly apprehensive. it’s summer, so the early morning is not bone-chillingly cold, yet also not as scorching hot as it will be come afternoon. it’s the perfect temperature, and it’s the perfect time, and before he knows what he’s doing, his feet are carrying his stiff, trembling body towards stan, whose eyes tell a thousand pictures despite his frame not moving a muscle.

- he stops in front of stan so that they’re gazing slowly, directly, meaningfully into each other’s eyes, and stan feels his throat go dry and his mind go blissfully blank. it’s slow and tender, the gentle yet firm way kyle stares up into his eyes, like he’s been waiting a lifetime for it (and he probably has) and he can feel his familiar breath whispering across his face, and all of sudden the careful movements, the gentle intention, all of it is gone in a flash.

- the very last scene of the very last episode of south park shows kyle slam his lips against stan’s, and then, lips still pressed together, the show ends.

[lackadaisicalnereid]

riverdale rewatch s01e02 a touch of evil

overall, fun! episode 2 is not quite as exciting as episode 1, but that covered so much ground. and this does do a good job of introducing jughead and his friendship with archie, which is important for the series. still subdued compared to the later seasons, but fun nonetheless.

current ranking of words that have come out of characters' mouths:

#1 'Are you familiar with the works of Truman Capote? I'm Breakfast At Tiffany's, and this place is strictly In Cold Blood.' (Veronica, s01e01)

#2 'Guys, can’t we just liberate ourselves from the tired dichotomy of jock, artist. Can’t we, in this post-James Franco world, be all things at once?' (Veronica, s01e01)

#3 Speaking of bodies, have you recovered from finding Jason's?' (Betty s01e02)

the jughead pulp / hardboiled voiceover game is strong my friends

still love that we don't hear jason blossom speak in any of the flashbacks

still love that there's no reason other than 'the sexy teacher' image for why ms grundy wears her glasses so low, that would just not work if you wanted to, well, see

alice's glee at jason being murdered as she (1) disliked jason and (2) it is good for the news is lovely

i love that betty recovers so nicely from archie's rejection, it's fresh for a teen tv show

'speaking of bodies, have you recovered from finding jason's?' betty s01e02

'i swear on my mother's pearls' veronica s01e02

jughead starts off on his detective journey, bless

still love madchen amick's hair

lili reinhart has huge eyes

Betty trying to befriend Cheryl to spite Veronica is beautiful

Cheryl straddling Betty to put make up on her is a decision, the show really straddles the 'everyone's flirting with everyone' lines beautifully

but if course it's all manipulation and Betty threatens to kill her <3

'a kid is dead, archie' i do like the throughline of jughead caring about the town in his own way that is separate and a bit different from how other people care about people close to them

'dude we're not gonna hug in front of the whole town' somewhere underneath the many crazy things in riverdale, there's something good going on with jughead and what jughead means re: teen masculinity

cheryl hallucinating her brother in archie's place in the pep rally and running away frantically and veronica running after her is A+ teen girl allyship

the cheryl being taken away by the police is a solidly intriguing ending to episode 2

[yourfandomlawyer]

Season four of Riverdale gets a bad wrap, but honestly, I think that if it wasn't for covid, it could have been the best season. Now BECAUSE of the terrible rushed ending to the main story, I personally prefer the second season, but season four will always be one of my favorites. If I had to rank them, it would probably be 2, 4, 1, 3, 6, 7, and 5. I will stand by my first and last rankings, but I'm willing to budge slightly on the others. This kind of went off topic, but it's really hard to stay focused on anything WHILE watching Riverdale

[jugheadvarchoni]

Ranking my Top 10 Riverdale relationships

Buckle up for this one. Got some hot takes for ya, and I yap for too long about my favorites. I also just want to preface this by saying every single relationship in this show has its faults, like relationships irl. And Riverdale in general didn’t do a great job with writing friendships specifically. So a lot of the friendships on this list don’t have a ton of material. A lot of my own feelings and head canons therefore play a big part.

Once again, these are MY opinions! :)

10. Jughead & Tabitha

None of Jughead’s romantic relationships did that much for me. Tabitha was the only where I was like “eh, that’s fine”. Their chemistry wasn’t anything to write home about, but they were sweet & I think Tabitha is a good character. They were done SO dirty in S7 tho…

9. Archie & Reggie (platonic)

This is mainly for the S7 of it all. The threesome was NOT it, but their bromance was so fcking adorable and hilarious in S7. I did love the rivalry they had in previous seasons too.

8. Toni & Tabitha (platonic)

Ughhhh what an underrated and healthy friendship. Tabitha in general deserved more/better, but what we did get with these two was awesome. Easily of the BEST dynamics in the S5/S6 era of the show.

7. Betty & Veronica (platonic)

Beronica. SOOOOO iconic. One of the most iconic duos in comics. But… I think a lot of their relationship was very one-sided, with Veronica often being a much better friend to Betty. Mainly in S2-S6. Their closeness fell off after S1 and then S7 they kinda rekindled it, but also went romantic with it. Which, personally, I wasn’t the biggest fan of. I felt like the opportunity to properly explore that (and not have it feel tacked on) passed a long time ago. But alas, they are incredibly iconic and I loved them in S1.

6. Kevin & Clay

Clay, the love interest Kevin always DESERVED. Loving, supportive, kind, it’s just too bad it took them until S7 to give us this kind of relationship for Kevin. And between Clay's social justice & art, he wasn't just a one-dimensional love interest either. One of only TWO canonically confirmed endgames on the show, I enjoyed watching their relationship grow over the final season.

5. Jughead & Cheryl (platonic)

ALRIGHT, hear me out! This one may be a little niche, and we didn’t get that much of them, but I wanted more SOOOOO BADLY. They are so very opposite in many, many ways, but that’s part of why their dynamic could’ve been so interesting and fun. I think their scenes in 7x18 are very indicative of the kind of hilarity that could’ve ensued from their friendship. Even though they fight and are snarky with one another, there was almost always a mutual respect and trust between them. Also, the fact that there is 0 chance for romance & they’re two of my absolute favorites just makes it even more appealing to me lol.

4. Veronica & Cheryl (platonic)

The friendship Veronica always deserved imo! Yeah, it may be one of the more complicated ones. But they’re two sides of the same coin, who went through SO much together. Nick, the maple rum business, Veronica helping Toni save Cheryl from Quiet Mercy, etc. I feel like they were often very supportive without having to be so outright about it. They have had a very intense rivalry and some not so great moments (Cheryl slut shaming the girls, Veronica included), but at the end of the day their dynamic is so interesting and their pasts/families are so similarly dark and messed up that I think they could’ve been the best friendship on the show.

3. Archie & Jughead (platonic)

Ohhhhhh my best boys! I’ve always found them to be the real heart and soul of the source material. Like most of the friendships on the show, they definitely dropped off in later seasons, they went through so much, supported each other through so much, that it’s hard to not keep rooting for them, even if the writers let their romantic relationships get in the way of showcasing their great friendship. Despite fights and disagreements, they always come back together to support the other when they need it. Like Archie having Jughead stay at his house when Jug was living at school, when Jughead followed Archie on the run, or when Archie stood up for Jughead against Reggie. They will always be my favorite Riverdale friendship and I wish they hadn’t been another victim of the rvd writers in the later seasons.

2. Archie & Veronica

My beautiful Varchie… They were my very first ship on the show, I was rooting for them from the very beginning. Their blooming romance in S1 specifically had so much heart, that their scenes still stand out as some of the cutest and most sincere moments on the show for me. She was there by his side when Fred was shot, they were both there for each other with everything Hiram put them through, even when Archie was imprisoned. They are over-hated to an insane degree, and tend to be reduced to being “all about sex” for a lot of fans, which I just find kind of… gross. They’re emotional, young, consensually physical together, both attractive people, so what’s wrong with that? All that doesn’t mean they don’t have a genuine connection.

I think Archie really shows her that she can and deserves to love and be loved by someone else, that love isn’t about money or power but about support & respect. Likewise, Archie gets strength from her, he’s introduced into a whole new world, one that helps him grow and figure out what he wants from life. He brings her down to earth and she teaches him to reach for the stars. I think growing together and learning from one another is such a beautiful and integral part of any relationship. Also imo, they have chemistry in freakin SPADES. Ugh I just really love them together. They deserved to be endgame, to find their way back to each other and moved to California to experience a new way of life together.

1. Cheryl & Toni

MY BELOVED CHONI. Was there really any other option here? Their love story is truly one of the most heartwarming and beautiful ones I’ve ever seen on tv. Enemies to lovers to exes to starcrossed lovers across all space and time. True soulmates, meant to find each other time and time again in every universe. Despite every relationship being turned on its head in S7, Choni were the only consistent ones. Only wanted each other. And even though they were estranged for 7 years and went through crazy (sometimes toxic shit) in high school, they never fell out of love. They came out of it all stronger and better for it all, even. Before S7, their relationship fell to the wayside, as did almost every other pairing (*sideyes Bughead*), but everything we got still showed them to be incredibly supportive, loving, and loyal.

Toni was there for Cheryl every step of the way, she helped her come out, she made her see that she’s worthy of love. That she is more than what her family abused her into thinking. And Cheryl had her personal issues and didn’t always handle it well, but she ALWAYS had Toni’s best interests at heart. Always. She gave Toni the family and life she’d always craved, Cheryl gave HER a kind of love she didn’t realize she deserved. A bombastic, passionate love full of mutual support. They were there for each other, without hesitation. And S7 just showed that they had all that AND had grown and learned from their past mistakes. S7 showed Toni having more agency, with Cheryl right there to actively support her in everything she chose to do. Not to mention, Madelaine & Vanessa’s chemistry was outta this world insane… like… whoa.

One of the ONLY endgames on the show! They got their happy ending, found a life together full of art and love. They lived full gorgeous sexy lives with their son Dale, and are now together forever in the Sweet hereafter. Iconic. Beautiful. SOULMATES. 🫶

[papapoutine]

Riverdale Characters and the IDGAF War

Nana Rose: general of the idgaf war. Kept a corpse in maple syrup for decades. Sold the maple groves that her husband’s family had held for generations after Reggie flirted with her once and she heard about one maple tree not producing sap. Sat on information regarding Jason’s death for months and did not care. Had a son that disappeared and a child bride daughter who hates her and never mentions any of them and never tried to look for said child or make amends with said daughter. Was fully prepared to sacrifice her granddaughter’s situationship at a moment’s notice.

Josie: The General MacArthur of the idgaf war. Utterly annihilated Sweet Pea and Archie in the idgaf wars of season 3, and came out victorious in the Cold Idgaf War against Reginald Mantle while texting during community service in season 2. Repeatedly stayed late and walked home alone from school durinng a time where her mother was receiving death threats, a serial killer was on the loose, AND she had a stalker who had managed to break into her locker (obvi, it was Cheryl, but she had no idea atp). Pulled a Jesy Nelson on the Pussycats only to reunite the band seven years later so she could flex on her flop classmates and clear every single one of them in a single takedown. The only reason Nana Rose ranks above her is due to the sheer amount of lore that Nana Rose sits on and doesn’t talk about because she dgaf about it.

Hermione: called a hit on her husband and still slept with him later. Divorced him by declaring she had joined the real housewives. Somewhat faltered after becoming a real housewife, but until then was as cool as a cucumber.

Hiram: dgaf about anything besides Veronica, wrestling, his rum business, and palladium.

Penelope: Does not acknowledge her breaking out of prison or sending her daughter to conversion therapy before asking her daughter to start a cult with her. Key victory against Hal in the season 3 finale.

Veronica: based on how she dealt with her breakups with Archie, Reggie and Chad, would be the most successful main character in the idgaf war were it not for Hiram. However, given that Hiram’s antics nearly always pose existential threats to her dreams and happiness, she is forced to concede brief losses by circumstance.

Reggie: debated putting him above Veronica due to how he handled his breakups with Veronica as well as selling her soul to Lucifer and setting fire to the maple groves but then I remembered his Red Circle era and he def gaf way too much.

Betty: much like Alice, hard to make a verdict. If it involved someone she cared deeply about, she would honestly hide it but be upset. I personally find labelling the Mad world stripping scene as fighting in the IDGAF war very funny, but ultimately she did it because she gaf about Jughead. She did, however, win the idgaf war against TBK.

Alice: Incredibly hard to answer, because overall she gaf, but when she wins, her victories are huge. I don’t know what else you could call the Gala entrance scene other than the equivalent to dropping an atomic bomb in the idgaf war. Completely annihilated Hal in the second season finale by telling him how much he sucked and how she wanted to fuck FP while he was trying to murder-suicide them. Otherwise completely loses because she cannot mind her own business.

Tabitha: honestly has no choice but to gaf because otherwise the multiverse would literally be destroyed.

Archie: Would seem to be winning but in reality wouldn’t know the idgaf war was even occurring. The second he finds out, though, he looks all over town looking to make that apology in person, regardless of who’s at fault.

Uncle Frank: cannot STAND when people don’t want to hear him. Always involves himself in shit. I guess he won the idgaf war against his family in Canada by abandoning them???

Cheryl: believes that she’s winning the idgaf war only to lead her troops to the slaughter like the Dauphin at the Battle of Agincourt. Seemingly won the idgaf war by isolating from the world for seven years, but immediately shat on that victory the second she left the house by challenging her pregnant ex, and then a literal teenager, to a dance battle for control of a high school cheerleading team. Cursed an entire town because some of them were descended from the people who killed the witch ancestress that Cheryl had literally found out about only an hour before. Made five (I count burning down Thornhill) tributes to her dead twin only to keep his stuffed corpse in her chapel and talk to it, then created a religion with him as a Christ figure. Reacted to her ex being pregnant by building a nursery in her house. Banned her ex from wearing the colour red. Hosted a key party just to hook up with her ex. I cannot stress how much this woman gaf.

Jughead: slaughtered right off the bat like the Hunger Games tributes that step off their pedestals early and get blown up immediately. The only member of the Core Four to show up at Pop’s after college. Cannot physically resist getting baited. If any person interferes with his life he immediately imagines that they are the Big Bad whose single purpose is to eternally ruin Jughead’s life (most don’t even know who he is, much less care about him). He got so pissed about being banned from the prom that he didn’t even want to go to in the first place that he wrote a fanfic about murdering his principal. The only reason he gaf more than Cheryl is due to the sheer concentration that goes into him pretending not to gaf and be aloof.

[xcxglosss]

in another life bridgerton would spend eight seasons on the CW and rank somewhere between supernatural and riverdale in terms of cultural impact

[crazy-god-bunker-jughead]

Rank the secret siblings. Metric of your choosing.

Ok going least to most iconic secret siblings.

Ethel - I love Ethel, but the reveal didn’t really do anything if we’re being honest. She immediately left Riverdale afterwords. And we don’t even know if this is canon to the main timeline or just a S7 thing,

Claudius - Just kind of forgettable. Maybe once I got to him and I rewatch I’ll have more thoughts, but he just kind of fucked around then died.

Frank - Not necessarily a secret from Archie, but a secret to the audience. I hate Frank, we all hate Frank. But he is saved from the bottom because they realize how hate-able he is and then lean into it in later seasons.

Chic - Cunty King and extremely entertaining to watch, but he’s not a TRUE secret sibling.

Julian - The doll died in Vietnam. A spectacular spook and an iconic S4 plot line. The homophobic Archie double and natural redhead we deserved.

Hermosa - Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. Only really present for like one season but the INSANITY she brought was pretty spectacular. Yet another Lodge woman competing for the love of Hiram and affirming that Veronica is her father’s specialist girl. Insane dialogue.

Charles - I love Charles. Betty and Jughead’s SHARED brother who hangs out with them and guides them along their paths and is also a serial killer? And they never talk about this being weird at all? Mwah spectacular. But also let’s talk about how Charles clearly really just wanted belonging and family and was just coincidentally also a serial killer. Like he legitimately helps Betty overcome her darkness, was willing to cover up Jughead’s death if she was implicated, ran around doing random stuff and abusing his power for Jughead, and then specifically kills Jug’s would-be-murderers. He’s the REASON Betty decided to join the FBI. And even after she puts him in jail he still wants the family to be at his wedding and tries to kill her weird ex. He’s so HAPPY in S4 when he’s telling Chic how Betty trusts him now. He CARES, in his strange way. And FP literally NEVER acknowledges Charles as his son and only talks to him for work stuff. Like that’s so fucking tragic. Charles is my special boy and I love him.

[livvyofthelake]

movie may 2024 ranked!

23. always a bridesmaid. i apologize to yvette nicole brown and i want to clarify that i DO support women writing mediocre movies. but i must be real i watched this for jordan calloway. and i didn’t care for him in this. he was a lovely character i’m sure it was huge for someone’s mom idk. not my buddy jake though! nothing more to be said frankly

22. the idea of you. bad! anne hathaway what do they have on you that got you to be in this…. prince sad eyes addicted to being in musical adjacent movies with bad soundtracks that no one has ever cared about listening to!!

21. the other zoey. mid… which was so disappointing because all three main guys are actors i enjoy… archie renaux someday they’ll let you be a real romantic lead but for now i LOVED you in shadow and bone season 2 episode whatever. literally you’re my flag alina you’re my nation. lol! josephine langford someday we’ll get you in a period drama queen and you’re gonna eat it up. your time is coming! drew starkey maybe someday they’ll let you be in something that is good <3 i believe in you!

20. thanksgiving. fun! and yet ranks low because well i haven’t thought about it since i saw it. not really much to say! addison rae served cunt and should have lezzed out with the final girl!

19. after everything. somehow not the worst after movie…? crazy i know. do NOT get it twisted it was still bad. it’s after 5… but idk. it’s after 5 i’ve been watching these freaks for five movies i was invested i cared i wanted them to live happily ever after forever… love won!

18. life partners. it was good but i could not get over that i hated the boyfriend so so so bad. i wanted jakey to dieeee fr. yeah he was fine. sure. whatever. as if this is even about him omg

17. dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves. too long frankly! but we had fun! and genya was there :)

16. plan b. my favorite part of this movie is that in the beginning when i first saw the best friend character i was like oh cute she has a gay girl best friend :) and then they started using he/him pronouns for her long distance relationship and i was so shocked and disappointed i didn’t even know what to think. and then they got to the long distance relationship’s band performance and it clicked to me that it was supposed to be a Narrative Twist that she was gay… and i was like ohhhhh haha YES! that was awesome lowkey. and the rest of the movie was nice as well <3

15. strawberry mansion. weird ass movie fr… fucked with it heavily! had me staring at the tv completely enraptured that was crazy. don’t have much to say other than that the experience of watching it was fun to ME. i was also very sick that day so take what i say with a grain of salt maybe? idk. probably won’t watch it again but it was nice!

14. música. well first of all they’re going in the timeless video 2.0 but let’s not even get into that because it doesn’t matter. anyway camila mendes we loveeeee you being booked and busy post riverdale <3 yess girl be in movies!!! um she is not the main character and this movie is not about her i just really like camila mendes!

13. asteroid city. kind of an odd one! loved the wes anderson rpf implications this narrative had! also really enjoyed that little alien freak!

12. the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes. and this was a rewatch but it counts because i said so. watched it with my parents this time who did NOT get it as well as they could have. which is what brings such a beloved movie to me down to number 12, THEY are the ones who dampened the experience NOT the movie!

11. buffaloed. what if there was a woman played by zoey deutch who sucked sooo bad. yay! when she’s literally a bad person who scammed people for money 😁

10. remember the titans. what if the most important thing on planet earth was FOOTBALL. and learning to not be racist. and denzel washington was there. and will patton was also there doing his adam parrish voice. i don’t mean to be hung up on that it’s just hard to ignore… i didn’t read those books i listened to will patton read them in his delicious south carolina drawl am i supposed to not recognize one of the distinct character voices he did consistently for four books get real. it was also an excellent movie <3 tee was there they can verify if you don’t believe me!!

9. anyone but you. what if we did much ado about nothing but hero and claudius were lesbians and beatrice was a modern day disaster woman and she’s suchhh a hater and so is benedick and they’re in true and beautiful love. also. and i will never be able to describe this scene in a way that will truly do it justice. when they were fake dating but needed to prove they were together and everyone went hiking. that was the funniest shit i ever saw in my lifeee it had me dying… also. the natasha bedingfield unwritten needle drop moments…. yesss bring back real cinema!!

8. crossroads. there’s just nothing like a shonda rhimes written feature…. she just gets it i fear. i wanted to hate jakey soo bad but alas he charmed me!! shonda your power!!! and britney got to sing and it was soooo fun <3

7. the birdcage. first of all cat grant was there everybody clap for her! secondly this is like a perfect comedy drama film… i could have broken my ribs from laughing so hard at this one i’m serious robin williams save meeeee…. it’s veryyy much a product of its time but i don’t think that’s a hindrance i think it’s beautiful <3 what if movies were made when they were made and we all loved that there’s added narrative context to it’s time!

6. the secret life of bees. i can’t get into it but let’s just all understand that this girl was huge. cried like a babyyyyy so bad. we literally love queen latifah she has never flopped. now if only people would tune in to that damn cbs and watch the equalizer…. (show my mom loves that i catch an episode of sometimes)

5. ever after. well i am a cinderella girl first and foremost. as i said on letterboxd you would genuinely have to do something vile and heinous to make me dislike a cinderella movie… i gave the camila cabello one five stars i LOVE cinderella… and i loved how in this one the prince’s name was henry yayy that happened to a buddy of mine! and i loved the whole look of the movie the costumes were slaying the production design was slaying drew barrymore’s shitty accent was slaying. just loved it…

4. the clique. they don’t even make movies like this anymore. because of Woke… the tweens yearn for problematic girl leads like claire and massie we need to give this back to them… i think everyone should watch this film i’m actually being so serious and real

3. city of bones. ok it’s cheating to put a rewatch so high on the list. don’t care! she’s my friend!!!!! it’s our ten year anniversary!!

2. mamma mia! here we go again. you might think that due to my hater moments when i started watching this movie i might not have liked it that much… and yet you’d be wrong the only reason i was initially disappointed was because i didn’t know what was going to happen and sophie and sky sang that breakup song and it made me so sad i had to stop watching. i literally love sophie and sky it was RUDE to do that to me… but anyway when i went back to finish the movie i realized it slayed sooo hard. and then at the end they all sang super trouper… yayyyyyy!!!!!!

1. damsel. i do not care if you thought this was bad. they made it for ME ok what everyone else thinks does not matter… it was for me the whole time don’t even worry about any of it. they put my girl millie bobby brown in a girlfantasy action flick… netflix stop making her be in stranger things and let her produce her fun little movies full time it’s so serious you can’t keep putting her back in the duffer brothers torture chamber…. millie we are getting you out of there!! i eagerly await the day you star in a feminist remake of the breakfast club or something or whatever. anyway. the winner of movie may because it made me really happy to watch :)

[zayadriancas]

Degrassi, Riverdale & The Summer I Turned Pretty

Thank you!!! 💜💖

Degrassi:

1: Top 5 Episodes:

TNG: Mercy Street, Secret, Standing In The Dark, Live To Tell, & Voices Carry

Seasons 10-14: Zombie, Take A Bow, Boom Boom Pow, Unbelievable, & Purple Pills

Next Class: #Fire, #Obsessed, #KThxBye, #IRegretNothing, & #ImSleep

2: Bottom 5 Episodes:

TNG: Goin Down The Road, Got My Mind Set On You, The Power Of Love, Uptown Girl, & Keep On Loving You

Seasons 10-14: Spiderwebs, Honey, Summertime, Black or White, & Closer To Free

Next Class: #ThisCouldBeUsButYouPlayin, #ToMyFutureSelf, #CheckYourPrivilege, #SorryNotSorry, & #SquadGoals

3: Top 5 Characters

Male: Spinner, Drew, Zig, JT, & Jay

Female: Maya, Bianca, Darcy, Fiona, & Ellie

4: Bottom 5 Characters: (Only Counting Main Characters)

TNG: Peter Stone, Derek Haig, Declan Coyne, Leia Chang, & Blue Chessex

Seasons 10-14: Declan Coyne, Katie Matlin, Owen Milligan, Winnie Oh, & Winston Chu

5: Top 5 Romantic Ships:

Zaya, Drianca, Sparcy, Fimogen, & Semma

6: Bottom 5 Romantic Ships

TNG: Rick/Terri, Matt/Paige, Mick/Manny, Pia, & Ellie/Jesse

Seasons 10-14: Krew, Matlingsworth, Sav/Ms. Oh, Alli/Leo, & Fiona/Bobby

Next Class: Yunter, Hollingsong, Zig/Esme, Fronah, & Zoe/Winston

7: Top 5 Platonic Ships:

TNG: Ellie/Marco, Manny/Darcy, JT/Toby, Craig/Marco, Paige/Marco, & Spinner/Jay

Seasons 10-14: Fiona/Holly J, Drew/Dallas, Zig/Tiny, Maya/Grace, & Jake/Mo

Next Class: Maya/Grace, Zig/Tiny, Lola/Frankie, Frankie/Shay, & Lola/Yael

8: Bottom 5 Platonic Ships:

Derek/Danny, Yael/Baaz/Vijay/Hunter, Miles/Winston, Eli/Adam, & Jake/Eli

9: Season Ranking?

Season 4, Season 7, NC season 3, NC season 4, Season 12, Season 3, Season 10, Season 11, Season 2, Season 5, NC season 1, NC season 2, Season 8, Season 6, Season 14, Season 13, Season 9, Season 1

10: Character you relate to most? Maya, Esme, Fiona, Ellie, & Cam

11: Character that inspires you? Maya

12: Character you can’t understand? Peter, Hunter, Jonah, Vijay, Baaz, Winston, Next Class Seasons 1-2 Grace

13: Best Written Character? Spinner, Manny, Fiona, Holly J, & Maya

14: Worst Written Character? Peter, Declan, Katie, Seasons 13-14 Eli, NC Seasons 1&2 Grace, Jonah

15: Most Cliched Character? Declan

16: Most Unusual Character? IDK

17: Most inspired storyline? The shooting arc

18: Favorite Hero? Maya

19: Favorite villain? Vince

20: Best Person? JT & Maya

21: Most influential character? IDK

22: Most manipulative character? Esme

23: Best Performance in an episode? Ephraim Ellis in Time Stands Still, Demetrius Joyette in Bittersweet Symphony Part 2, Luke Bilyk in Young Forever, Olivia Scriven in #ImSleep, & Chelsea Clark in #Obsessed

24: Most Visually Stunning Episode: Paradise City, Degrassi Takes Manhattan, Don’t Look Back, & #Fire

25: Most impressive special effects? Idk

26: Character with the best aesthetics? Ellie, Fiona, Imogen, Maya, & Lola

27: Favorite song? Mr. Nice Guy, What I Know(Dust), Rescue You, The Great Escape, Maybe Love, Yes, & Last Exit

28: Best writer? Idk

29: Favorite theme: Seasons 3-5, Season 9-10, & Season 12

30: 5 words you associate with it? Addicting, compelling, relatable, intriguing, & emotional

Riverdale:

1: Top 5 episodes:

The Sweet Hereafter, The Lost Weekend, Return Of The Pussycats, Quiz Show, & Labor Day

2: Bottom 5 episodes: Wicked Little Town, Welcome to Rivervale, Tales of A Jugular Vein, Peep Show, & Dirty Dancing (honestly I felt like just saying the majority of season 7 lmao)

3: Top 5 characters: Cheryl, Veronica, Toni, Jughead, & Tabitha

4: Bottom 5 characters: Alice, Uncle Frank, Nick St. Clair, Percival Pickens, & Evelyn Evernever

5: Top 5 romantic ships:

Bughead, Varchie, Choni, Season 7 Beronica, & Archosie

6: Bottom 5 romantic ships:

B*rchie, F*lice, Hiram/Hermione, Kevin/Fangs, & Veronica/Chad

7: Top 5 platonic ships:

Cheronica, Toni/Veronica, Toni/Tabitha, Betty/Tabitha, & Seasons 1-6 Beronica (I ship all of these too though lol)

8: Bottom 5 platonic ships:

Alice/Betty, Kevin/Betty, Fangs/Sweet Pea, I came think of anymore honestly

9: Season Ranking

1, 4(before 4x17), 3, 2, 5, 6, 7

10: Character you relate to most? Betty

11: Character who inspires you? None of them

12: Character you can’t understand? Most of the parents tbh

13: Best written character: Honestly none of them after season 1

14: Worst written character? Most of them especially from season 5 onward

15: Most cliched character? Idk

16: Most unusual character? Percival

17: Most inspired storyline? Jason’s murder mystery

18: Favoriye hero? Veronica

19: Favorite villain? Hiram

20: Best person: Veronica

21: Most influential character: Idk

22: Most manipulative character: Hiram

23: Best performance in an episode: I’m not sure

24: Most visually stunning episode. Labor Day

25: Most impressive special effects: Idk

26: Character with the best aesthetics? Veronica & Cheryl

27: Favorite song? Kids in America & Mad World

28: Best writer? Someone from season 1

29: Favorite theme? N/A

30: 5 words you associate with? Ridiculous, entertaining, embarrassing, trainwreck, trash

The Summer I Turned Pretty:

1: Top 5 episodes:

Love Fool, Love Fest, Love Game, Love Affair, & Love Triangle

2: Bottom 5 episodes: Summer Dress, Summer Nights, Summer House, Summer Catch, & Love Scene

3: Top 5 characters: Conrad, Belly, Taylor, Steven, & Susannah

4: Bottom 5 characters: Skye, Aunt Julia, Milo, & Adam Fisher (I know that’s 4 but there are no other characters I dislike on this show)

5: Top 5 romantic ships: The only 2 I like are Belly/Conrad and Steven/Taylor

6: Bottom 5 romantic ships? Taylor/Milo, Conrad/Nicole, Skye/Cam, Belly/Cam, & Laurel/Cleveland

7: Top 5 platonic ships: Belly/Taylor, Steven/Conrad, Laurel/Susannah, Belly/Jeremiah(I know they’re also romantic, I just prefer them as friends), & Conrad/Cleveland

8: Bottom 5 platonic ships: N/A

9: Season ranking: 2, 1

10: Character you relate to most? Conrad solely for the anxiety/panic attack storyline

11: Character who inspires you? None of them

12: Character you can’t understand? None of them

13: Best written character: Belly & Conrad

14: Worst written character? None of them

15: Most cliched character? None of them

16: Most unusual character? N/A

17: Most inspired storyline? N/A

18: Favorite hero? N/A

19: Favorite villain? N/A

20: Best person: Susannah

21: Most influential character: N/A

22: Most manipulative character: N/A

23: Best performance in an episode: Lola Tung in any episode Belly has an emotional moment, she’s great at making your heart break for her

24: Most visually stunning episode: Most of them are

25: Most impressive special effects: N/A

26: Character with the best aesthetics? N/A

27: Favorite song? This show plays Taylor Swift in so many episodes lol so any time one of her songs is used

28: Best writer? Idk

29: favorite theme? N/A

30: 5 words you associate with? Addicting, compelling, fun, summer, & entertaining