#live action high school south park is actually something that is so very special to me

[akechi-if-he-slayed]

imo the perfect series finale for south park would be for them to dedicate their last couple of seasons to their junior + senior year of high school (yes live action because i think it would be awesome if done right, not insanely gritty and emo like riverdale). same startling humor and amusement, but kind of with a slightly more mature feel (because they are teenagers now after all; even though they don’t exactly “act their age” in the show, you can still tell their naive youth plays a big factor in a lot of their reasonings and motivations behind their actions and decisions) like yeah, they’re still being stupid and getting caught up in the weirdest shit, but this time they’re being dumb teenagers instead of dumb kids. also! feel like romance would definitely be a core thing, because you know. teenage hormones. no explicit scenes, but definitely make outs and the like, and their relationships would play a more crucial factor in the show. for example, i think that at the start of the live-action saga, wendy and stan would still be entertaining their on-and-off-again-friends-who-make-out-and-have-a-different-response-each-day-if-you-ask-whether-or-not-they’re-together and pretty soon, they’d eventually just break it off for good, and that would be a major coming of age moment for stan as he realizes he was only staying with wendy because she was “safe” and reminded him of being a kid.

PROM EPISODE (for junior year)!!! it would be so lit. huge, huge potential there to get everyone dolled up. stan and wendy would already be broken up by that time, so naturally stan and kyle would just go together as FRIENDS. MUTUAL BACHELORS. DEFINITELY NOTHING MORE….not like kyle turned down heidi’s ask because “i don’t want stan to feel alone” even though cartman and kenny don’t have dates either? also stan definitely doesn’t sneak a bottle in and definitely doesn’t skulk outside and kyle definitely doesn’t find him and just. sits and talks and just laughs and talks shit with him outside for the rest of the night and nothing is said about any sort of feelings kyle might have (if he’s even fully aware of them yet now that stan is 100% available for the first time in years) but. you can tell, everyone can tell that something is there, something is starting.

main highlights for this adaptation idea!

- bebe (cheer captain!) and wendy (heavily involved in asb, voted president senior year; there’s a whole episode dedicated to her campaign against kyle at the end of junior year, she wins by just a few votes) as the queens of the school, most popular girls (bebe in more of a gorgeous-can-have-any-guy-do-whatever-she-wants-and-have-them-all-want-her kind of way and wendy in a beautiful-and-powerful-top-of-the-class-but-definitely-not-an-outcast way)

- cartman still cartman but not nearly as volatile as he once was, still generally considered to be a dick, though. at first glance you think he’s a stupid football player meathead, but he’s actually incredibly smart when he wants to be, kyle is annoyed by this every time he shares an ap period with him and he actually does well.

- ordered class rankings (top 5): wendy (valedictorian), kyle, butters, cartman, heidi

- shelley moved across the country for college the second she graduated, so it’s just stan, randy, and sharon. naturally he spends the night at kyle’s so often that he leaves an overnight bag there and the broflovskis are never surprised to see him stumble out of kyle’s room in the morning

- bendy canon literally like two months after permanent stendy breakup. poor stan is helplessly confused: “has she been a lesbian this whole time????? did she think i was feminine??? is that why we were together for so long???”

- creek thriving as per

- kenny does musical theater and show choir. greatly enjoys it! butters is always front row and has never missed a performance.

- kyle captain of the debate team! wendy is vp, and there’s kind of been a weird tension between them ever since stendy split, you can practically hear her say “i know what you are.”

- stan enjoys volunteering at an animal shelter whenever he can, he keeps this a secret for as long as physically possible and this becomes a big plot point as he makes up increasingly suspicious and not very believable stories and excuses as for why he is rarely available after school despite having no job or clubs. rumors that spread: | randy has managed to get access to harder drugs and is using stan to deal them across south park | stan is a whore-for-hire and will give you an excellent bj if you pay up and meet him somewhere discreet (cartman started that one) | stan is part of a crime group conspiring to kill the mayor and control the city (this one has him end up at the police station with his head in his hands).

- gerald really wants kyle to be a lawyer and practically has all of his schools picked out for him, thereby unintentionally giving his son an existential crisis on what the heck he wants to do with his life because he does not want to do what his dad does but he also doesn’t have a good enough alternative to combat him.

- heavily hinted bunny, it’s literally right there but they tell everyone they’re just friends. ongoing gag of them being caught in compromising and/or suspicious positions but somehow having a seemingly reasonable explanation each time.

- college decisions would for sure be a big plot point towards the middle of their senior year, especially for kyle. he only applies to two schools and is accepted to both of them: princeton (college of his parents, their pick for him to study pre-law) and stanford (his pick, unknown to his parents that he even applied, to study psychology). yes it is absolutely insane that he only applied to two ivy leagues but what is even more insane is that his parents only wanted him to apply to princeton and no other schools. haha well now he has to explain to them that he is going to california and is not following their carefully constructed plan for his future haha

- stan is similar to shelley, he doesn’t really care where he goes as long as he gets to leave south park! he also knows he wants to do some sort of career helping animals but is unsure what exactly, so he just puts zoology as his major and applies to a lot of different schools. he ends up committing to uc davis! sharon is incredibly proud of him and cries when she sees the acceptance letter, randy is kind of bitter because he wanted stan to stay and help out with the farm since shelley booked it but eventually comes around (also stan would’ve gotten a job at 7/11 before he started working at tegridy alongside his dad).

- butters gets accepted to the university of rochester for biomedical sciences. kenny doesn’t plan on going to college, but him and butters decide to share a flat in the city, and kenny works odd jobs while also doing performances at various clubs in the at the area. also him and butters choosing to live together across the country is purely platonic!!! there is nothing romantic going on at all, they are just really good friends!! nobody buys this anymore

- cartman literally gets accepted to ucla on a full ride football scholarship for business management and it makes kyle want to tear him to shreds! liane would’ve absolutely somehow paid for his entire tuition anyway if she had to

i feel like the length of each episode would be about 45 minutes with the series finale being like 90 minutes, the first half being their graduation with wendy giving an incredibly corny yet oddly emotional speech as valedictorian that pretty much summarizes their entire lives in south park. and then the second half would kind of be just like providing conclusions and tying up loose ends such as:

- shelley flying back home for stan’s graduation and reconciling with him; she’s a junior at NYU and actually became a lot nicer and at peace with the world + herself after she was able to leave colorado

- randy actually having a good father-son moment with stan as they discuss his going off to school in california; stan realizes that his father definitely is not great, but he maybe also isn’t the worst person in the world

- a moment of “this is the last we’re ever gonna be like this, huh?” when the main four are hanging out at cartman’s, traditional teen paranoia of the future

- bunny finally 100% confirmed as scene shows with Kenny having his arm loosely hung around butters on someone’s couch, lightly pressed kiss on his cheek

ok i have a lot more but my #1 idea for the finale would be this:

- stan and kyle just aimlessly hanging out in the latter’s room about a week or two after graduation, easily talking about everything from college to music to new films to their friends; just enjoying each other’s company before fall comes (they are unbelievably dramatic. uc davis and stanford are like a hour’s drive away from each other but coming from best friends who have lived in the same city together their entire lives, an hour away may as well be a whole ass country away)

- occasional comfortable silence. kyle has come to terms with his feelings about stan at this point, but has chosen not to act on it in favor of keeping his longest friendship intact. nobody knows, he never told a soul. unbeknownst to him, stan has been accumulating the same feelings towards kyle, but likewise has been keeping them sealed tightly in so as not to ruin anything.

- eventually, they somehow start talking about relationships. stan never dated anyone else after breaking up with wendy at the start of junior year, and kyle has never truly dated anyone, not if you don’t count a faint fling with some loud city girl when he spent most of sophomore year summer with his mom’s family in new jersey. he came back from summer break more certain than ever that he was 100% gay. he recounts this story to stan for the first time (he’d been too embarrassed to tell anyone when he had come home) and it’s met with an enormous fit of laughter.

- they start talking about how weird it is to love someone, to have these strong urges and desires towards someone in a way that’s entirely unprovoked. to feel like you would do absolutely anything for this person, and to have life be unfathomable without them. they both agree on all their points, but no names are mentioned though!

- it’s the early morning hours before stan realizes how long they’ve been talking, and despite knowing he could stay the night, he decides to head home, suddenly flushed and overwhelmed with some sort of..something. does he really love kyle that much? in that way?

- the air is lightly tense as he leaves, kyle left feeling confused and slightly perturbed. against his butter judgment, he chases after stan outside, as he’s placing his key in his driver-side door to unlock his car.

- “wait!”

- stan turns his head, looking puzzled and faintly apprehensive. it’s summer, so the early morning is not bone-chillingly cold, yet also not as scorching hot as it will be come afternoon. it’s the perfect temperature, and it’s the perfect time, and before he knows what he’s doing, his feet are carrying his stiff, trembling body towards stan, whose eyes tell a thousand pictures despite his frame not moving a muscle.

- he stops in front of stan so that they’re gazing slowly, directly, meaningfully into each other’s eyes, and stan feels his throat go dry and his mind go blissfully blank. it’s slow and tender, the gentle yet firm way kyle stares up into his eyes, like he’s been waiting a lifetime for it (and he probably has) and he can feel his familiar breath whispering across his face, and all of sudden the careful movements, the gentle intention, all of it is gone in a flash.

- the very last scene of the very last episode of south park shows kyle slam his lips against stan’s, and then, lips still pressed together, the show ends.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Misread Details, Part Two

CW: Described death of whumper, BBU, implications of pet whump, references to noncon, dehumanization, sadistic whumper

Part One: Nanda | Part Two: Brute | Part Three: Robert

The Unsolved Murder of Henry “Brute” Hanlon and the Box Boy Killer

r/LetsTalkTrueCrime

•Posted by u/oshaycanyousee

2 weeks ago

I’m back, r/LetsTalkTrueCrime! I really appreciated the questions and discussion under my last write-up, and a few of you really encouraged me to keep working to provide a part two to my Serial Killer Box Boy series, so here it is!

In Part One, we looked at the mysterious death of Nathaniel “Nanda” Benson, who died of cardiac arrest due to an undiagnosed heart defect (and likely head trauma played a part) and was found at the bottom of the stairs inside his California home. The only valuable possession missing from his property was his legally-purchased Box Boy, who fled the city wearing Nathaniel Benson’s shoes and using his money to buy a bus and then train ticket. 

The last confirmed sighting of the runaway Box Boy (and Benson’s possible killer?) was in Red Hills, California, a large-ish city a couple hours south of Benson’s house by train. 

Questions remain around Benson’s death: did he suffer cardiac arrest and fall down the stairs? Did the Box Boy push him, with the shock of the trauma and injury leading to the heart attack that killed him?

Is the Box Boy merely a witness to a tragic but natural death, or the prime murder suspect?

And most importantly: If he wasn’t guilty, why did he run?

Less than a full calendar year after Benson’s death, the question of where the Boxie went after Benson died was answered… but even that answer only opened up more questions, and the sudden death of a second man places even more uncertainty into the story of a Boxie who might simply be an innocent victim - or who could be a serial killer whose makes a victim out of those who give him shelter.

Which leads us to the story of Henry James Hanlon, known to nearly everyone - including his wife - as “Brute”.

Henry Hanlon was born in a small town in Texas, but moved to Red Hills, California after finishing a stint in the Air Force. 

His parents, James Hanlon and Estella Hanlon, maiden name Brickers, had had their first child, Henry’s older brother William “Bill”, right out of high school, born six months after their wedding day. Henry came three years later, and his sister Roberta “Bobbie” one year after that.

Henry was a perfectly normal, cheerful little boy, always toddling after his older brother and trying to join in the games of the older kids in town. His parents recalled him as the quintessential “middle child”, always resolving disputes and quietly getting things done. He received his nickname of “Brute” in fifth grade, when a classroom bully was harassing a female friend of Henry’s and Henry decided to take action. The only information I could really hunt down on this was some old school records that I found on a message board, and I can’t really verify if they’re real, but they suggest that the bully was sent home injured and Henry received a three-day suspension.

After that, it seems, anyone and everyone - even teachers - called Henry Hanlon “Brute”, and he never seemed to mind.

He received perfectly average grades, enlisted in the Air Force, served without distinction but without any significant incidents, and afterwards he moved out to California, where he settled into Red Hills (then a city with a thriving industrial district that was slowly beginning its slide into something rougher) and took a job with a manufacturing company, working in their warehouse.

“Brute” dated around a bit, but it wasn’t until three years after his move that he met the woman he would marry, Ellen Patricia Barry. She was a few years younger than him, and they met at a local bar that both were known to frequent. One of Brute’s former coworkers told police that Brute was big into pool and poker, both of which he would engage in when he went to the bar, and that he met Ellen during one of the poker nights, and that Brute stated that how easily she beat him was one of the reasons he was interested in her romantically.

Ellen claims they first spoke while playing pool, not poker, and also claims she’s never played poker in her life. Why Brute would have told his coworkers a different story is unclear. 

They dated for about a year before they wed at Grace Baptist Church on a sunny summer day in 20XX. Ellen’s father gave her away while Brute’s little sister was the maid of honor. A year later, Brute’s daughter Elizabeth was born, and a couple years after that, their son Daniel.

The Hanlons lived a charmed life - they owned a cute three-bedroom cottage home (bought and given to them by Ellen’s parents as a wedding gift) in a good part of town with a little white fence around the property and a yard big enough for the children and dog to play in. Ellen was part of the local PTA and active in her church, and Brute himself had the appearance of a man totally content with everything he had.

But Brute Hanlon had a secret.

Ellen continued to believe he was employed by the manufacturing company, but he actually left his employment there years before his death. Instead, he seems to have transitioned into making his money “under the table”. Ellen wouldn’t discover any of this until after his body was located… in a secret house he’d never told her about, in one of the roughest parts of Red Hills.

Without her knowledge, Brute purchased a two-bedroom home with cash directly from its previous owner that was badly in need of repair in the Pauls Mill neighborhood. Once a “company town” from the 1930’s - 1950’s that was absorbed into Red Hills as it grew in the 60’s, Pauls Mill today is the kind of neighborhood where everyone knows if you belong there, or don’t, and it’s best if you belong.

Brute performed a few very cursory repairs to keep it livable, laid down some new carpet, and then used it as a kind of secret base for the unsavory activities he didn’t want Ellen or the children to know about.

While his family believed he was at work at the factory, Hanlon was in fact hosting poker games, selling illicit narcotics and unlicensed firearms, and generally making quite a bit more money than he had with legal employment entirely under-the-table. He would spend his day making connections (and money) through these activities, then go home right at 5 pm sharp to his loving family, eat dinner at 6 pm, help his kids with their homework and hear about their day, and settle in for an evening playing the loving husband and doting dad.

Somewhere during this time period, Brute told Ellen he was setting up a “poker night” with his friends again, now that the kids were school-aged. 

What he did instead was drive down to the corner of Holt and McCormick streets, known to all locals as the Red Hills “red light district”, and pick up prostitutes, usually simply meeting with them in his car, but occasionally taking them to a nearby motel.

After his body was found, police showed his picture around to a variety of the individuals who make their living at Holt and McCormick, and more than a dozen locals immediately recognized him. 

Some described him as a regular customer who wasn’t particularly special or notable beyond the simple fact that he never tried to renege on payment and could be relied on to always be looking for someone on a particular night of the week… but others, almost entirely male, said he could be violent. A few described being injured enough that they had to seek medical treatment after meeting him. The same individuals stated that he insisted on using dehumanizing and insulting language to speak to them during these encounters, and that he was often unable to perform unless he did so.

One individual, who gave his name as “Mix”, mentioned that the last few times Brute had engaged his services, he had brought along a collar and insisted Mix pretend to be a Box Boy. 

During this time period, Brute continued to be an active, involved, and loving parent. 

He was home right on time every night except “poker night”, attended his chlidrens’ recitals and baseball games on the weekends. He often took them to the Red Hills Zoo, local parks, and even did a weekend trip to Berras to see the Berras Aquarium, stay overnight in a hotel as a family, and then visit a redwoods park before returning home.

Six months before his death, Brute’s visits to the red light district abruptly stopped. Instead, he apparently met with a local prostitute, engaged his services, and took him home… for good. 

The best record we have is that one woman, Needie Brandt, remembered seeing Brute leading a shorter, angular young man to his car one night, and described the young man as “one of those runaway Boxies, collar and all. Poor thing was half-starved”. 

Runaways, especially Romantics, are picked up by police from time to time in Red Hills. Most Romantics don’t really know any other way to survive, so prostitution is a common way to make ends meet. Needie said the young man had been seen around the area for a couple of weeks, right alongside the rest of the working people in the red light district, and that after this one night she saw Brute Hanlon lead him into the car, she didn’t see him again.

Asked if she remembered a name, Needie only shrugged and said that even if she did, it wouldn’t be a real one. Which is probably a good point. 

Somewhere in here, Brute began to date outside of his marriage while his family believed he was out with friends playing poker. He took dancing lessons with one Susan Krieger, had a serious relationship with a Lucy Graham, and was apparently occasionally taking a Natalie Dorn out for dinner.

Ellen was never informed about these out-of-wedlock interests. 

Brute’s family knew nothing. When his eldest son went to state with marching band his freshman year of high school, Brute Hanlon was right there cheering him on.

Then, just two days later, he presumably went right back to brutalizing the Box Boy he was keeping in his secret second home.

We don’t have a record of what exactly transpired within the house after Brute took the runaway Box Boy in. What we do know is what the police found later on.

On October 18th, 20XX, around midnight, Ellen Hanlon called police to report her husband missing after he did not return from his regular poker night. His car was located in the parking lot of an abandoned FoodMart, but a friend of Brute’s came forward to say he often parked there and carpooled with friends when going out.

None of Brute’s possessions were inside, and it didn’t appear the car had been touched by anyone but Brute himself when it was dusted for fingerprints or signs of DNA. Brute’s friends who knew about his secret activities weren’t telling, and Ellen and the children didn’t know anything about their seemingly loving husband and father’s double-life. 

At first, the trail seemed like it would go cold, and investigators were frustrated that they had so little to go on.

Then, on October 29th, 20XX, Brute’s neighbor (who apparently asked that his name not be given) called the police department complaining about how the small two-bedroom house next door had begun to smell “like something died in there”, and that he hadn’t seen his neighbor leave or return in days, which was very unusual.

When police arrived, the front door was unlocked. Officer William Keys, the first one inside, later described the smell as “unmistakable. I knew exactly what we’d find the second we walked in that door.”

He was right.

What they found was the bloodied and decomposing body of Henry “Brute” Hanlon, lying on his back in the middle of a small unremarkable living room, on a dirty and stained carpet. He had been viciously stabbed more than fifty times. One even went so far into Brute that there was an exit wound through his back. Medical examiners would later state that at least seven of his wounds would have been directly fatal, but that he had died within the first few and most of the wounds were technically post-mortem.

The murder had been committed by someone who had a very personal reason for the killing. Investigators believe this individual was “absolutely enraged”.  

Next to his body was the murder weapon, along with a set of buckles and strips of leather that mystified the officers. These were eventually identified as modified leg braces, but rather than straightening bent or injured legs, they forced the wearer to keep their legs at nearly right angles, which would ensure they had to crawl rather than walk. They appeared to be homemade.

Bloodied smears and footprints led the officers down a hallway and to the bathroom, where there was evidence someone had showered, changed clothes, and then left.

The same neighbor who informed police about the smell also remembered seeing, on October 16th or 17th (later determined that it was likely the 17th, the day that Brute did not return home from “work”), a young man wearing an oversized coat, sweatpants, and a too-large t-shirt walk out of Hanlon’s house and down the street. The young man was on the short side, the neighbor said, had an angular face, and a visible scar at the corner of his mouth and another along the side of his face. He had the collar of the coat flipped up, and the neighbor doesn’t recall if he wore a collar or not.

He had dark eyes, and short but shaggy dark hair that seemed to have been cut hurriedly and unevenly, and he waved at Hanlon’s neighbor without pausing or speaking as he walked past.

Tests on fingerprints and DNA located within Brute Hanlon’s secret second home would reveal that the Box Boy who once ran from Nathaniel Benson after his death was the exact same one who ran from Brute Hanlon after murdering him. The Boxie’s fingerprints were all over the murder weapon… and everywhere else, too.

Within Brute’s home, more knives were found, along with what looked like a badly-crafted homemade whip and some other supplies. A few of the things investigators found appeared to be essentially identical to what was found in Nathaniel Benson’s home. Other things were different (“animalization” was mentioned in some of the reports, but what I’ve been able to find is seriously vague for some reason). 

Possibly related, a series of dog leashes purchased from a local pet-supply store were found throughout the home, but there was no evidence of an actual dog. In the home’s main bedroom was a perfectly normal queen-sized bed that was clearly Brute’s, with a small side table, a large dresser, and an attached bathroom. 

There was absolutely nothing outwardly out of the ordinary, besides the room being very plain and impersonal. Makes sense, since Brute almost never slept there. 

In the second bedroom, however, there was army-style cot with a thin blanket and sheet, three folded shirts on the floor, two sets of bloody metal handcuffs hanging off the cot’s frame at the top and bottom, and a bucket next to the bed. Two metal bowls, clearly of a style meant to be a dog’s food and water bowls, were next to the door. One still had water in it. The window was painted and nailed shut, and bars had been installed over the windows.

Investigators determined the bars were on the house when Brute Hanlon purchased it and had been installed by the previous owner. No reason for that installation was ever given.

Investigation revealed trace amounts of evidence of blood, but nothing much. However, the living room and dining area both showed poorly-cleaned bloodstains that were much older than Hanlon’s murder, including discolored patches on the walls.

A contract for a 24/7 “master/slave” style relationship was found in the top drawer of the dresser, signed ‘Pet’ at the bottom, and with Brute’s name alongside it. However, both signatures match Hanlon’s handwriting, and the Boxie is not believed to have actively signed it, as he would be illiterate at best. Plus, Box Boys are not legally allowed to enter into any contract, anyway, since they can’t understand obligations at that level, so even if he had signed it, it wouldn’t have been considered remotely valid.

I mean, not that those contracts are legal, but... you get my point.

Also located in that drawer were more than one hundred photographs showing the Boxie in a variety of compromising situations and positions. Several of these photos had Brute himself clearly visible in them, and a few had other individuals who have since been identified as Brute’s associates in his more illicit activities.

Interrogations of those associates led to more than seven further arrests for illegal gambling, the production and sale of illicit drugs, and illegal weapons sales. Those interrogations are also how we know about what Brute Hanlon was up to in-between Little League games and Girl Scout meetings.

Those associates claim that Brute kept a “secondhand Box Boy”, muzzled him so he couldn’t speak whenever guests were over, and that often ‘poker night’ simply turned into a game where the assorted guests and Brute himself repeatedly assaulted the Boxie. The associates claimed they thought the entire thing was consensual, but frankly… given the overwhelming evidence that the Boxie had to be kept restrained and was often seriously injured by these assaults... that’s doubtful.

Ellen and her children, who had previously been very visible and spoke often to local news stations about Henry’s disappearance, withdrew after his body was found and his second, secret life revealed - and have never given a single public statement or made a public appearance since. 

Ellen moved her children out of Red Hills, moving back in with her own parents, briefly, in northern California. Where they went after that is unknown, but they appear to have left the state and Ellen may have changed her surname. Investigators are firm in their belief that Ellen knew nothing about her husband’s secret life.

I would give my right arm to know what his son and daughter think about it, and if they ever suspected what their devoted dad was up to when he wasn’t at home.

So, what happened to the Boxie after he left the house and disappeared down the block from the witness who saw him?

In short… no one knows for sure.

After murdering Brute Hanlon and cleaning off the evidence that must have been all over him, the Boxie simply fades away. He could have been anywhere, doing anything at all. There is a brief sighting of him on CCTV footage at the local bus station, where he is in line to buy a ticket… and then abruptly looks up, apparently noticing the camera and looking directly into it, then turns and walks quickly away.

The footage is grainy, but the Boxie does appear to be wearing his collar.

He isn’t seen in Red Hills again.

Instead, he reappears one more time before his final murder and disappearance… more than a year later, in a little town right along the border with Nevada.

Part 3 will go into how the investigation into the death of a quiet little oddball named Robert Weber reveals a basement full of skeletal bodies. But our Boxie isn’t the cause.

Instead, Robert Weber’s murder solves a series of related murders police had been stymied by for more than a decade, and a Box Boy who may have been meant to be Weber’s next victim instead turned accidental vigilante with a final killing of his own.

Or maybe I should say, his final killing so far.

-

@astrobly @finder-of-rings @burtlederp @whump-tr0pes @raigash @eatyourdamnpears @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @boxboysandotherwhump @outofangband @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @thehopelessopus @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @butwhatifyouwrite @newandfiguringitout @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @oops-its-whump @endless-whump @cubeswhump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @whumpiary 

[heartachebf]

16, 17 (Tweek), and 25 -Batz 🖤💜

fandom asks

16. favorite behind-the-scenes insight ive actually got 2 answers for this !! first off, i love the fact that kenny is based off a Real Life kid trey knew growing up, who was Also named kenny n wore an orange coat that nobody could hear him over And was the poorest kid in town. and i rly love that kyle is blatantly based off matt stone ^_^ i have a big gay crush on matt so obvi that makes kyle one of my favs

17. 3 things you love about [insert character]

1. the fact that he can play piano And sing And act ^_^ i love that artsy little dweeb so much 2. the fact that his tics slowly got better over the years... sobbing n wailing.... AND the fact that he barely tics when hes around craig.... love wins 3. i love that he can kick ass should he choose to ^_^ he could maim someone so easily and i think he deserves to bonus number 4 bc i love him so much. i love that he can bake ^_^ i like to think that he stress bakes and will try out new recipes n then he'll take what he baked to school to let his friends try ^_^ hes god tier actually

25. favorite episode of [insert season] u didnt specify which season, so ill give my favs of each season (below the cut bc this post is getting long) (id also probs do this even if u Did specify which season bc. peace and love)

s1: i cant pick between episode 7, black friday (bc i Love the feel of all the early halloween episodes) or episode 10, damien (bc damien supremacy ^_^ im forever obsessed w the fact that he, the son of satan, has a super high pitched voice)

s2: EPISODE 17, GNOMES !!!!! i think that was tweeks first introduction and as such, its my fav ^_^ i rly love his voice in that ep <3

s3: episode 5, tweek vs craig, bc duh ^_^ the beginning of an era <3 plus its proof that tweek is tough n doesnt need protecting

s4: either episode 6, cherokee hair tampons (bc i love how fiercely stan tries to help kyle + its revealed that kyle has diabetes ^_^ i will forever cry over the fact that stan didnt hesitate to offer his kidney to save kyles life) or episode 8, something you can do with your finger (bc i love their silly little boy band + i love wendy joining their boy band + kyle wanting to be the tough one of the band + randy backstory/him being a lil insane but in a funny way)

s5: episode 3, super best friends ^_^ the origin of stan n kyle being super best friends ^_^ i also kinda love episode 10, how to eat with your butt, bc kenny is very endearing in it And we finally get to see what kyles hair looks like <3

s6: either episode 9, free hat, or episode 11, child abduction is not funny bc theres so much excellent tweek content ^_^ i also like ep11 bc of how dumb the parents are in that one, thats always amusing

s7: either episode 8, south park is gay (the fact that everyone was acting a lil fruity ^_^ gay rights ^_^ and also kyle rejecting dressing fruity and getting made fun of for that. so funny considering the fact that he Is gay, i prommy, kyle told me himself) or episode 14, raisins (bc butters was very sweet that episode + goth stan was introduced ^_^)

s8: omg this ones so hard to pick. i love episode 4, you got f'd in the a, bc stan having to get in a dance battle??? comedy gold. i love episode 6, the jeffersons, bc we stan n kyle being dads to blanket, gay ptide. and then i also love episode 11, quest for ratings, bc i love the guys having their own news team And i love that craig had a show dedicated to just showing cute animals. dork craig rights

s9: episode 10, follow that egg ... more silly little stan n kyle content ... stan gets rly fruity here and im obsessed w it. that whole episode gives me silly little au ideas ^_^

s10: episode 14, stanleys cup. froths at the mouth. that one anon of mine, hockey fic anon? theyre writing a silly little fic based off an au of That episode ^_^ that ep is so quality

s11: goes insane. episode 8, le petit tourette bc i loved seeing cartman in anguish + dork craig content. episodes 10, 11, and 12 aka the imaginationland trilogy bc. god. just so good. i cant even explain it. episode 13, guitar queer-o bc it gives me Another great au idea + stan n kyle are fruity in it. and finally, episode 14, the list, bc there was lots of good wendy content And kyle got a little unhinged ^_^ as he deserves <3

s12: this is another one where its so hard to pick... episode 1, tonsil trouble, bc kyle got to go in attack mode again. episode 3, major boobage, bc we got silly little kenny content ^_^ episode 9, breast cancer show ever, bc thats when wendy beat the shit out of cartman <3 episodes 10 and 11, pandemic and pandemic 2, bc. craig content ^_^ and also ive already talked on my blog abt how its the best 2 parter ever. and episode 13, elementary school musical, bc stans gang was particularly goofy n their musical number was so fun ^_^

s13: episode 8, dead celebrities, bc kyle and ike content!!! i love them so much!!! and also episode 11, whale whores, bc stan Attacked And Killed all for the love of animals, n i love him for it

s14: episodes 11, 12, and 13, tha superhero episodes ^_^ i loved getting to see everyones superhero costumes in action And we got to learn more abt kennys immortality, which was so exciting !!

s15: episodes 7 and 8, youre getting old and ass burgers. starts sniffling and crying and collapses on the floor while sobbing. thats all i have to say about that, peace and love

s16: episode 5, butterballs (bc stan is so! hes just so !!! yknow. the anti bullying song in it is So good, And i live for butters standing up for himself ^_^ also the song at the end is god tier), episode 6, i never shouldve gone ziplining (its so fuckn funny, and i live for the live action bit at the end), and episode 11, going native (bc of that sweet, sweet butters n kenny content ^_^ i also live for butters Attacking in it)

s17: episode 4, goth kids 3: dawn of the posers. probably my fav goth kids centric episode ^_^ its so good n funny

s18: episode 3, the cissy. starts sniffling and crying again, but this time in transgender mode. i also love episode 6, freemium isnt free bc we get another Glimpse into stans issues w addiction ^_^ peace and love on planet earth

s19: episode 6, tweek x craig. love wins, gay ptide, etc etc

s20: um. i actually kinda hated this season. but ig if i Had to choose one, itd be episode 10, the end of serialization as we know it, bc it finally ended that season ^_^ no offense to any s20 stans out there, i just thought it was so boring

s21: episode 2, put it down. tweek n craig content, gay ptide ^_^ this is also the one where we learned that tweek can sing, play piano, And bake, and we also got to see craig learn how to support tweek better, which was very sweet ^_^

s22: episode 10, bike parade. i didnt super love this season either, so its kinda a case of picking the one i wasnt bored with. plus in a way it kinda felt like one of the original episodes, it was like a lil blast from the past !

s23: episode 2, band in china ^_^ we got stans band, crimson dawn !! it was great learning more abt how stan felt abt having to move to a farm, plus butters ripping it on a guitar was so funny. and then randy did stuff too idk

s24: this season has just been the 2 specials so far, but i liked the vaccination special, episode 2 the best ^_^ bc 1, the brovorce arc started, n im rly excited to see what happens with that. and also the way it ended left me hopeful that maybe the shows gonna go back to the way it used to be a little bit <3 i also liked how we saw stan gettin really mentally ill with freaking out over the pandemic, but that mightve been in the first episode instead...

[peepspersonalperspective]

MY PICKS: Top 10 K-Dramas

Disclaimer: These are totally subjective choices and I've justified them as per my preferences. Consider them friendly recommendations and let me know if you disagree. Also, I've discovered the wonderful world of K-Dramas over the last couple of years and they've really evolved not just in storytelling but also production value so I personally prefer the more recent ones. So for example I haven't put a very popular pick like My Love from the Star simply because I've seen better stuff since (don't shoot me). Anyway, 가자!

MEMORIES OF ALAHAMBRA

This is my first recommendation for anyone who's just starting out watching Korean television content simply because it's so different from what new viewers expect it to be. It's so gripping and thrilling. I would expect nothing less from Song Jae Jung's writing.

So it's a sci-fi show, set in Spain, about an augmented reality game, that seems to have physical implications in the real world, sending the lead, Hyun Bin on a rollercoaster ride to find answers. Exo's Chanyeol has a recurring role as the game developer, so that's exciting too. I learnt that he was cast because of his love for PubG. Lol.

Every episode will leave you wanting more, and you'll find yourself as desperate to search for answers as Yoo Jin Woo (Hyun Bin).

Granted, mid season, it gets a little complicated, especially with newer nuances of the game unfolding, but fret not because the characters are discovering the secrets of the game with you. So they're as confused as you would be, and that's why this show is so good! More so because the graphics are excellent! You can tell they really spent money on ensuring high quality work. You will really feel like you're part of the game with Yoo Jin Woo.

Anyway, if you are an EXO-L, or you like gaming, sci-fi, thriller and Hyun Bin, this show is great!

2. W - Two Worlds

Another piece of awesome from Song Jae Jung. I would still rank this show a little below Alahambra, because I think the makers made improvements from this sci-fi drama in Alahambra, in the sense of storytelling. Still, W is just as intriguing.

Oh Yeon Joo (Han Hyo Joo) gets sucked into a comic book where she falls in love with the lead character of the comic book, Kang Chul (Lee Jeong Suk). Sounds like a typical romance drama right? Don't be fooled because there are many many twists and turns along the way.

I feel like there is metaphor in there somewhere about existentialism, the creation and destiny. But maybe that's just me reading into things.

Lee Jeong Suk is extremely desirable as Kang Chul, unsuspectingly charming and endearing, and Oh Yeon Joo is an absolutely relatable character, and how she deals as an ordinary girl thrown into extraordinary circumstances is genuine.

I would say this drama is wholesome, with sci-fi, suspense, thriller, action, romance, filial relationships, and more. And while it's usually difficult to jam pack all this into one show without screwing it up, W emerges exceptional.

3. Extraordinary You

This show is so cute! If you want just a light hearted, quirky show, this is the one for you.

It's about characters in a cartoon becoming aware of their existence in a cartoon. But don't worry this is NOTHING like W.

The best part about the show is that it's not about the main characters of the said cartoon. It's the story about the extras finding their way in that world, hence the pun intended in the title. The main characters (of the cartoon) are actually the most dull, because they are bound by the laws of stereotypical high school romance. But the real stuff is happening on the sidelines, with Kim Hye Yoon as Dan Oh and Rowoon as Haru.

Dan Oh is a hilarious character and Kim Hye Yoon does a fantastic job of switching emotions when she's in and out of a scene in the cartoon. One minute she goes into character mode, next minute she's bitching at the sorry fate of her character when she wakes up, to the astonishment of the characters surrounding her (who aren't aware of their reality yet).

Rowoon has a quiet charm about him that perfectly complements Hye Yoon. Check it out for a chuckle and a taste of something different.

4. Crash Landing on You

This show is hard not to like. Apart from the poorly picturized tornado carrying our leading lady over the border to North Korea, this show is a wonderful Netflix and Chill kind of show, I think.

The cultural disparity between the South and North is interesting to watch and also entertaining. Like when they mention buying mobile games at an App store (a literal application store in a Pyongyang market).

Ri Jung Hyuk (Hyun Bin again) and Yoon Seri (Son Yejin) are such a delight in comedic, romantic, and dramatic scenes. But the scene stealer for me was Yang Kyun Won as Pyo Chi Soo, and his unshakeable nationalism that he is ready to set aside for some shampoo and conditioner.

The interesting thing is going into the show, you have an idea of the longevity, so ofcourse, Seri's journey back to the South ain't going to be easy, also her relationship with Ri Jung Hyuk is doomed, and yet you find yourself rooting for them at each step, crying with them during their failures and crying with them even in their triumph. But the most tears were shed for the least expected character, who simply left us all heart broken.

5. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

In a world where women are expected to behave and look a certain way to be considered attractive by someone they're vying for, here's a food hogging, tomboy, weightlifting champ, with her first crush.

The premise may rope you into the show, but midway you realise that the heart of the show is in its characters, and without realising you become so invested in them that you feel their fears, insecurities, and cherish their victories with them.

This coming of age show really relishes on the quirks of each character, friendship, love and aspirations. It's not a very dramatic story which is probably why it didn't rate very high during its broadcast, but that's part of its charm, and that's why it's been able to gather a significant cult following since.

Lee Sung Kyung and Nam Joo Hyuk portray the most sincere friends and eventual couple. Their relationship blossoms in the most organic manner and it's so heartwarming. They're not cheesy or unrealistic; they even beat each other up! I don't think I've seen that level of comfort portrayed on screen so well before.

Watch out for guest appearances by Ji Soo and Lee Jeong Suk.

6. Strong Girl Do Bong Soon

I'll be honest, this recommendation is mainly for Park Hyung Sik. He's amazing in the show. And there could be no better supernaturally strong petite girl than Park Bo Young, either.

So there are actually a lot of things happening in the show, story wise, but I promise it all comes together in the end. There is quite a build up and I'm happy that it pays off adequately.

This is like a superhero show with all the spices and flavours of a Marvel movie, but K-Drama style. There's an invincible villain, some idiot gangsters for comedic value, romance (a love triangle infact), functional training, a point of lost hope for Bong Soon, and then her resurrection as a superhero.

It's all there, and more.

But Park Hyung Sik.....

7. Itaewon Class

This recommendation is simply for the refreshing change of representation on TV. I know a lot has already been spoken about it already, but I have to admit that that's what sets this revenge drama apart. That, and the music. Dayum, Start by Gaho is so catchy! And let's not forget V's Sweet Night.

This show starts off slow but give it 3 episodes before it gets to the real shit.

Park Saeroyi is almost too good to be true, and in that lies his shortcoming. His character is so strong that while watching him I forgot that Park Seo Joon was acting. And despite some unnerving moments I found myself rooting for him. He has some strong motivational lines too, like about his choice for a better life. His determination is almost unreal, as he goes on to take down his mortal enemy.

Some of the best scenes, though, are of Jo Yi Seo (Kim Dami), a sociopathic enterprising genius. She was the one who actually kept me hooked to the series. She added some much needed flair to the show, and as it appears to Park Saeroyi's establishment.

Actually, every character was strong, every character had a strong backstory and motivation for the action, and most importantly they never broke character.

Watch out for Park Bo Gum's special appearance.

8. Love In The Moonlight

Speaking of Park Bo Gum...

This show is all kinds of weird in the best way! A girl pretends to be a palace eunuch and falls in love with the crown Prince. That is so messed up!

But that's the fun part! And Park Bo Gum and Kim You Jung make it a wonderful ride. Full of quirky romance, political conflicts and hidden identity issues, this show is addictive af!

And even though this wasn't in the show and was just a promo, be sure to watch Park Bo Gum's Bombastic dance. It's adorable!

9. The Third Charm

I'm sure this is my least popular recommendation. But something about watching this show was so cathartic. I highly recommend it for those who may have gone through heartbreak ever in their lives.

This is probably one of those rare times when I was lost in the story instead of Seo Kang Jun's eyes. Hehe. This story is about an on again off again couple and their journey through life together and apart.

This was meant to be a healing drama, and it really does take you through the emotional evolution that comes with growing up. I think it's the perfect medicine for a healing heart.

10. It's Okay Not To Be Okay

This show! This is my current obsession. Kim Soo Hyun's comeback couldn't have been more perfect. Seo Yeji couldn't have been a more perfect casting. And the two leads couldn't have had a better chemistry.

This show is all kinds of whimsical and I love it. Also a healing drama, this show deals with.... Baggage....to put it simply. Some baggage may be bigger than other baggage, some even irrevocable. But seeing all the characters overcome this baggage is so fulfilling.

But the charm of this show is in Ko Moon Young's (Seo Yeji) craziness and the Tim Burton-esque setup, that really makes one perceive fairytales in a whole new way. I mean I always knew that fairytales were sanitized German folklore, but I never thought to find a very different messaging from the material. The parables are ingenious, and it really is a pleasure to watch each and every person on this show.

Special mentions: Goblin, Reply 1988, 30 but 17/ Still 17, My ID is Gangnam Beauty, Hotel Del Luna

[hellosaltysaladcollectionstuff]

In the '80s and '90s, a lot of things were turned into cartoons. We saw a long list of animated shows based on live-action movies and more than a few that existed simply to sell toys. One interesting subgenre you might not remember, though, is when an animated series would age down an established set of fictional characters. All of a sudden, characters you were used to seeing as adults were portrayed as children on another show.

It happened more often than you may think and, honestly, some of the properties that did this to squeeze a little extra money out of their intellectual property may surprise you. At the end of the day, they all had something that made them entertaining enough to stick to the back of our minds.

Let's jump in the time machine and revisit 18 of the absolute best animated shows that age-flipped characters you knew and love--and maybe a couple you were downright terrified of. Also, make sure to check out our list of movies that were based on beloved cartoons. He-Man, eat your heart out.

1. The Tom and Jerry Kids Show

It's not that Tom and Jerry Kids was a bad show, it was actually pretty good. However, the most memorable thing about it is its fantastic theme song. The series also included a kid version of Droopy Dog, in addition to little Tom and Jerry.

2. Muppet Babies

This is easily the most beloved and iconic example of this trend. Jim Henson's Muppets were portrayed as babies when they became a cartoon--complete with onesies, baby talk, and a parental figure named Nanny that was only ever shown from the legs down. Muppet Babies is hands-down one of the best cartoons of the 1980s. What's more, the recent reboot on Disney Channel is also quite fun, even if it doesn't cast tiny versions of your favorite Muppets in movie franchises like Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

3. A Pup Named Scooby-Doo

This was another show with a very memorable theme, though it's a confusing one. A Pup Named Scooby-Doo first debuted in 1988, and yet its theme sounds like a doo-wop song from the '50s. Regardless, this show is a blast as a young Scooby gang hunts monsters and solves mysteries, and of course, feeds the titular dog Scooby Snacks to keep him motivated.

4. Flintstone Kids

Flintstone Kids was good, but what makes this entry on the list special is the show-within-the-show. Captain Caveman and Son were shorts that aired as part of Flintstone Kids. Originally, Captain Caveman was a character that debuted in the 1977 animated series Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels. On Flintstone Kids, he teamed with his son Cavey Jr. to fight the forces of evil. As for the little Flintstone gang themselves, that part of the show was also very fun, though you might remember it most for the public service announcements that aired during the episodes.

5. Tiny Toon Adventures

This one is, admittedly, a bit of a cheat. The kids on Tiny Toons weren't actually the kid versions of Bugs, Daffy, Taz, and the rest of the gang. It doesn't get much closer, though. Baby and Buster were clearly a younger take on the different sides of Bugs Bunny, while Plucky Duck has Daffy's temper, Dizzy was the spitting image of Taz, and Hampton was so close to Porky Pig it was scary. What's more, sometimes the classic Looney Tunes characters made appearances on Tiny Toons, seeing them team up with their younger proteges.

6. James Bond Jr.

This is another one that sort of works, but only if you stretch the premise a bit. James Bond Jr. was the nephew of James Bond and a spy-in-training and, along with his prep school friends, was fighting the forces of evil just like his infamous uncle. What you may not know, though, is James Bond Jr. has his own novels. The Adventures of James Bond Junior 003½ was first released in 1967, written by an author under the pseudonym R. D. Mascott. Interestingly, the actual author of the book has never been officially revealed, though several names have been theorized.

7. Baby Looney Tunes

First debuting in 2001, this is a much newer series than Tiny Toons. What's more, it actually delivers what you might have been looking for in that show--this is the actual Looney Tunes characters as babies, in case the title of the series didn't hint at it enough. This series essentially Muppet Babies, but with Bugs Bunny and friends. What's not to love?

8. Yo Yogi!

If you've actually heard of this one, congratulations. You're as nerdy as we are. Yo Yogi! debuted in 1991 and only lasted for 12 episodes. It was the most over-the-top version of the '90s you could expect, complete with a neon-colored makeover of Yogi's clothes. The series casts the bear and his pals--Boo-Boo, Snagglepuss, Huckleberry Hound, Cindy Bear--as 14-year-old crime fighters. What else would you expect these animated teen animals to be?

9. Jungle Cubs

Yes, Disney's The Jungle Book for the kid treatment, even though the main character in the movie is already a kid. This version doesn't feature Mowgli at all. Instead, the animals are all kids, living it up in the jungle. They aren't crime fighters of ghostbusters or anything like that. Instead, they're just friends hanging out. Oh, and we have to mention the theme song, a hip-hop version of "The Bare Necessities."

10. Clifford's Puppy Days

If you were a kid in the early-aughts, you might remember Clifford's Puppy Days. Before he was Clifford the Big Red Dog, he was Clifford the normal-sized puppy that wasn't a menace to keep and maintain.

11. The New Archies

Before Riverdale turned Archie and his friends into a Twin Peeks-flavored murder party of teenage angst, The New Archies made them little kids. The gang is in junior high and, well, not much else has changed. It lasted 13 episodes and was still the incredibly wholesome Archie Comics you knew back then before it went full-CW.

12. Sabrina: The Animated Series

The animated Sabrina series was a spin-off of the live-action version starring Melissa Joan Hart and featured the titular teen as a 12-year-old. She was still learning her magical ways and getting into all sorts of trouble with her spells. In this series, Sabrina is voiced by Hart's little sister, Emily Hart. However, the original Sabrina does play a role, voicing Sabrina's aunts Hilda and Zelda.

13. Camp WWE

What if WWE did its own take on South Park? That's Camp WWE, an animated series that's definitely meant for adults. All of your favorite WWE superstars, including "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, The Rock, and The Undertaker, are little kids at a summer camp run by Vince McMahon, his teen daughter Stephania, and her boyfriend Triple H? That's all you need to know about WWE. It pokes fun at WWE and professional wrestling as a whole, is filled with more adult language than you'd find on Raw or Smackdown, and it actually one of the most entertaining WWE Network originals.

14. Ewoks

Yes, this is real. There's honestly no telling how old the Ewoks are in Return of the Jedi. But who cares? In this Star Wars animated series, viewers follow a younger version of Wicket and his friends before the events of A New Hope and, for some reason, they speak English now. Originally, this series aired with the half-hour show Droids for The Ewoks and Droids Adventure Hour, otherwise known as the coolest one-hour block of TV you'll ever experience.

15. Iron Man: Armored Adventures

This is the most recent series on the list, but need to be pointed out. Iron Man: Armored Adventures followed Tony Stark as a teen Iron Man, alongside a similarly-aged Pepper Potts and Rhodey. If you thought Stark might have less of an ego as a teenager, guess again. Still, this take on Iron Man was entertaining and it managed to introduce a long list of popular Marvel characters--from Black Panther to MODOK.

16. The Mini-Monsters

So, The Mini-Monsters wasn't a show. It was, however, a segment within the animated series The Comic Strip. The segment featured the children of the classic Universal monsters, including Frankenstein's son Franky and the Invisible Man's son Blanko. It's utterly ridiculous, with a premise of a pair of siblings (one of which is voiced by Seth Green) being sent to a summer camp filled with the children of actual horror villains for a year. This is the oddest entry on the list, but one of the best.

17. The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show

While this is a list of cartoons that turned adult characters into children, it didn't always work out that way. In some cases, the process goes backward, and this is a perfect example of that. On The Flintstones, Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm were the kids of Fred and Barney, respectively. That series ended in 1966, though, with The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show following in 1971. In that series, the two titular characters were teenagers, attending high school together and starting a band. What was the band called, you ask? The Bedrock Rockers. This sequel series only lasted 16 episodes, but it remains a cool idea that most cartoons won't dare touch. Bart Simpson has been in elementary school for three decades, and chances are that won't be changing anytime soon.

18. All Grown Up

This series also aged up popular baby characters. All Grown Up revisited the world of Rugrats. This time, though, Tommy Pickles and his friends were preteens and had more fleshed out personalities. It lasted five seasons on Nickelodeon, airing between 2003 and 2008.

from GameSpot - All Content https://ift.tt/2ZG6o5a

[noahpuckerdale-blog]

HOLY SHIT IS THAT [ GREY DAMON ]?! Oh, wait it’s just [ NOAH PUCKERMAN ]. Damn, [ HE/HIM ] looks good for [ 29 ], good thing that they’re [ BISEXUAL ], I might have a chance. I hear that they call them the [ LOOSE CANNON ] of the [ SOUTH SIDE ]. I guess that’s because they’re [ IMPULSIVE ] and [ COCKY ]. But I don’t think a lot of people know that they’re also [ COURAGEOUS] and [ LOYAL ]. Can’t wait to see what kind of trouble [ OLLIE/38/CST ] will bring.

01.  BASICS

• Full Name: Noah Immanuel Puckerman • Nickname: Puck but it’s less of a nickname and more of a name at this point. • Sex/Gender: Cisgender male • Birthday: November 8 • Age: 29 • Astrological Sign: Scorpio • Occupation: Owner of a car dealership, also volunteers as a firefighter • Spoken Languages: English, some Hebrew • Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Biromantic • Birthplace: Riverdale • Relationship status: Single and ready to mingle

02. PHYSICAL TRAITS

• Hair Color/Style: Medium brown, short and scruffy • Eye Color: Green • Face Claim: Grey Damon • Height:6’2” • Weight: 175 pounds • Tattoos: None • Piercings: None • Unique Attributes: Unsure, more on this later. • Defining Gestures/Movements: I’ll get back to you on this. • Posture: Very laidback and casual most of the time. Can be more aggressive or straight depending on what is going on around him.

03. PERSONALITY TRAITS

• Pet Peeves: Being talked down to, people who assume who he is based on where he lives, slow drivers, cowards, boring people. • Hobbies/Interests: Sex, fast cars, video games, alcohol, getting into trouble, cooking, watching and participating in sports. • Special Skills/Abilities: Working at the dealership has given Noah a lot of knowledge about cars, both in general and on a mechanical basis. He’s a surprisingly decent cook, athletic, and can kick your ass in Smash. • Likes: Already mentioned this but sex. Sports. Cooking. Cars. Partying. Fighting fires. Anything that makes him feel alive. • Dislikes: Being treated like shit for being from the Southside, being forced to slow down on anything, being rejected, being bored. • Insecurities: This is opening up a can of worms. Puck is insecure about nearly everything about himself, he’s just unreasonably good at covering it up. • Quirks/Eccentricities: Terrible at making good decisions and always acts as if he takes nothing seriously. • Strengths: Boy has some serious charisma if you don’t mind the bad boy type. He’s loyal to his friends and can be pretty brave when placed in the right situation. • Weaknesses: He’s vulgar. He’s overly cocky. He does things without thinking them through. • Speaking Style: Can be loud and boisterous which annoys some people. Has no issue with cursing, flirting, and using slang. • Temperament: Depends on the moment? He can be the chilliest person on earth, and he can be the most aggressive or annoying person on earth. All depends on the situation.

04. FAMILY & HOME

• Immediate Family: His immediate family, as far as he is aware, consists of his mom and his younger brother. He’s sure someone out there is his father but he couldn’t give a shit less who it is. However, he has half-siblings out there who he has no knowledge of. • How do they feel about their family? He cares about his family more than anything else in the world. • How does their family feel about them? He and his mother are on good terms, he and Nathan go back and forth between getting along well and driving each other insane. • Pets: None right now • Where do they live? Sunnyside Trailer Park • Description of their home: Shitty little trailer near his mom and brother’s. It’s home, it’s always been home. Even though he could afford to live somewhere else, he chooses not to. • Description of their bedroom: A giant mess that consists of clean and dirty clothes, video games, comic books, posters on the walls, etc.

05. THIS OR THAT

Introvert or Extrovert?

Optimist or Pessimist?

Leader or Follower? (Really depends on the situation)

Confident or Self-Conscious?

Cautious or Careless?

Religious or Secular? (Somewhere in between honestly)

Passionate or Apathetic? (Again, this can vary)

Book Smarts or Street Smarts?

Compliments or Insults?

Pajamas or Lingerie?

06. FAVORITES

• Favorite Color: Green • Favorite Clothing Style/Outfit: Casual, mostly t-shirts and jeans when not working. • Favorite Bands/Songs/Type of Music: Classic rock but he’s open to listening to other things. • Favorite Movies: 90s movies mostly, action flicks are good too • Favorite Books: Comic books. This one isn’t much of a reader. • Favorite Foods/Drinks: Junk food but that’s slowly changing as he learns how to cook for himself more. He still won’t say no to a pizza though. • Favorite Sports/Sports Teams: Bulls, Saints, Bruins • Favorite Time of Day: The dead of the night • Favorite Weather/Season: Summer, no need to put on a shirt. • Favorite Animal: Dogs

07. MISCELLANEOUS

• Fears/Superstitions: Fear of never getting his shit together enough mostly. • Political Views: He hasn’t really thought about it enough to name them. • Addictions: Nicotine. Edging toward other addictions but none so far. • Best School Subject: Gym class • Worst School Subject: All of the rest of them • School Clubs/Sports: Football team, baseball team • How does he get money? He owns a car dealership • How is he with technology? He’s alright with it. It’s not something that fills all hours of his day, but he can do what needs to be done. 

08. PAST & FUTURE

• Fondest Memory: Actually graduating high school • Deepest, Darkest Secret: Puck is diagnosed bipolar and keeps that secret close to his skin. • Dream Vacation: Going to see the Super Bowl • Best thing that has ever happened to this character: Again, graduating high school. • Worst thing that has ever happened to this character: I’ll get to this later. There is a long list of shitty things in Puck’s past. • What do they want to be when they grow up? He’s happy with what he does now, but it’d be nice to make more cash. • Perfect Date: Watching a bad action movie, having a few drinks, and fucking.

[jessesteele]

Taiwan's Prejudice of Foreigners Taught Me Black Systemic Racism Is Real

[中文]

College was my first exposure to American Black culture. I’m a far better man for it. Moody was less than a block from Cabrini Green. I taught Pierre how to swim and he taught me how to forgive. My room mate, Ronnie, was president of African Awareness Fellowship. Three years, he tried to tell me that the problem was with “the system”. “It’s the system, Jesse. It’s hidden in the system. I know you don’t see it. But, I see it every day.” I listened, but I still couldn’t see.

Ten years in Taiwan opened my eyes. Ronnie, I’ve seen it. I haven’t just heard about it, I’ve finally seen it with my own eyes. Others don’t see it, especially if they’re part of it. I’ve seen that too.

If a man thinks his unjust actions are acceptable, there is no way to tell him that he is unjust in a way he will find acceptable. I know how Rosa Parks felt, in a way. I wholly agree with Dr. King in his Letter from the Birmingham Jail.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea.

We readily consented, and when the hour came we lived up to our promise. So I… am here because I was invited here. But more basically, I am [here] because injustice is here.

The Taiwanese need Westerners. They welcome Westerners at their airports and in their marketing. They need Western-trained, Western-thinking engineers to build their own defense weapons against a large aggressor in the region. They need English teachers—and more importantly English speakers to interact with in the every day world. But, from fear of the large aggressor in the region, and from hurt over foreign occupation in the past, Taiwanese made laws that restrict all foreigners, including Westerners. So because of the past, Taiwan turned away the friends they needed for the future. Haven’t we all done the same?

Bear with me the boring details. In America, a work visa gives residence. After five years, the foreigner becomes a citizen. America makes it simple. In Taiwan, they place strange restrictions—not one day between jobs, not one speeding ticket, and all work permits which the government never delivers. Even then, you can’t become a citizen unless you renounce all citizenship elsewhere.

My story began twelve years ago when my boss wouldn’t give me my work permit, which he is legally required to and never forced to. I folded it up and sneaked it out in my tie, then went home and cried. The next boss never gave me my work permit. I called Immigration and told the officer; the officer shouted, “They must!” then slammed down the phone. There was no follow-up.

Soon, the local Labor inspector found me at the wrong school—I worked for a chain. I had no Idea where I was supposed to work. The address was written in Mandarin on the work permit, which I never received. I got a summons from Labor; the boss was worried and told me to lie to the government. We even had a special meeting to coordinate our lies. The bigger boss gave me a strange handshake; I thought my life was being threatened. The company would pull strings “high up” in government to get out of the ordeal. While I sat with my boss, lying to the Labor inspector—a very good person with extremely limited power, mind you—the bigger boss walked into the Labor chief’s office, feigning benign chit-chat. The Chief looked scared. I rolled my fingerprint to certify the lies told with a knife to my back and we left without so much as a hiccup.

Weeks later, I learned that the strange handshake was a request for sex. I had been sexually harassed—they would only call their gangster buddies to get me out of their lying to the government if I lied to the government and had homosexual sex with the big boss. No. Maybe that’s why they tried to fire me a couple months later. No. Firing requires compensation, which the company refused.

Then came an in-class evaluation two weeks before the contract ended, with a promise not to renew the contract regardless of the evaluation. The boss insisted based on me having voluntarily reported I was one page behind in the schedule. Most teachers were three pages off schedule on any given day.

The boss is legally required to accept my resignation with a stamped letter. The boss refused. I went to the police station twice, the police never forced the boss to send the letter. Then, the boss reported me as MIA, which is illegal for a foreign employee. But, being wise, I had already notified Labor of my desire to resign. I’d sent certified mail, with return proof of delivery confirmation, a full confession of perjury to the Labor inspector—a very good person with extremely limited power, mind you. I included a CD with the recording of the boss saying, “I hate foreigners.” The inspector scheduled a mediation meeting and called my phone, urging me to bring a Taiwanese friend to translate.

The meeting lasted three hours and the boss accepted my resignation. That was a first. I mean, this was a breakthrough. Tainan had never seen a successful agreement in a dispute between an employer and foreign employee. They always last forty minutes, then go to court or deportation. I was the first to reach peace.

I asked my Taiwanese friend, the one who accompanied me to the mediation, why my boss had lied about the address on my first work permit. There was no reason. Why lie first when the truth wouldn’t hurt? “Because of the Cultural Revolution in China,” he explained. “People about forty years and older are still influenced by Chairman Mao’s thinking, including that lying is okay.” He also told me that the big boss controlled a kind of local “ESL mafia” in the city.

Later, I was told by a coworker from that chain that the inspector, seeing how that boss treated me, continued inspection; three locations of that ESL chain were closed. The school suddenly started treating him with respect, which was good for him. They had tried to fire him also. I’m glad it worked out for him.

My immediate supervisor quit her job over how they treated me. She went to work in a factory for more pay and less stress. I’m glad it worked out for her.

My next employer told me that they had to let me go because they were getting harassment from that previous boss. I couldn’t work. Looking back, I don’t know how I financially survived. I guess God wanted me here, so I stayed while He made a way.

Officers at Immigration, city government workers, and aides of two different legislators asked me why I stayed in Tainan. “Why don’t you just move to Taipei where there are more jobs and your boss can’t chase you?”

See, there’s the plight of the Taiwanese! Every time there is a bully, they just bend over. They were beaten down by Chiang Kai-Shek, like Israel in the desert after Egypt, afraid to enter the Promised Land. “No way!” I’d say kindly, strongly, and reassuringly. “There is no law saying an American can’t teach English in Tainan. So, the government can protect an American willing to stand with the Tainan people! Their English is bad and they need the practice more than Taipei. I suffer because I love Tainan, and Taiwan’s government still won’t help me.”

The only meaningful help I received was from a person who understood the trouble, but never spoke to me: the Labor inspector—a very good person with extremely limited power.

The people who ask why I never moved to Taipei ask with childlike innocence, not knowing that they imply discrimination against not just myself, but also against the people of Tainan. Many Westerners live in Taipei in the populated north, but Tainan has many delights in the south. Taiwanese anecdotally believe Westerners prefer Taipei because it is the “big city”. Actually, it is because the Ministry of Labor places hefty financial burdens on the small ESL schools of the south—the same requirements the rich ESL schools in the north can afford. Most Tainan ESL schools aren’t rich enough to hire an American legally. So, they need help from a black market, which my former boss was rumored all too happy to oblige. Albeit, the laws are written in Taipei, in the north, where there couldn’t possibly be connection to black market interests in the south. But, I saw something more important: Westerners avoided Tainan because its ESL community was gripped by an invisible black market. And, it didn’t just hurt me; it hurt the Taiwanese, who remained oblivious.

That was when I started to see how a system can oppress one people, without the people across the street even noticing. In fact, Taiwanese didn’t even know how their Labor laws crippled English learning in Tainan. Taiwanese were victims of systemic prejudice as much as I was. All this rigmarole hurt their highly-coveted English skill. None of this would be a problem if Taiwan simply extended the same rights and protections to Americans as America extends to Taiwanese. That way, many Americans would be Taiwanese dual citizens who could work anywhere, including the poorer ESL schools in the southern, delightful city of Tainan.

But, Taiwan’s government won’t allow it, even after eleven years of petition. And, yet Taiwan cries for global help when countries break diplomatic ties. The Taiwanese people don’t even know what trouble Immigration and Labor laws create for them on the global stage.

The juicy part of this story is that my former ESL chain receives public funding from America’s government. I called their American office to report the incident. They hung up the phone on me without a word. I won’t reveal the name because all evidence of human rights violation is illegal within the jurisdiction it is collected. I prefer to stay with the Taiwanese people, helping them survive dishonest business practices toward which the Taiwan government turns many a blind eye and deaf law. And, I still hope for a peaceful answer from Taiwan, even after twelve years.

For the last seven years, I’ve written editorials every Monday, looking at Taiwan objectively, respecting the status quo Taiwan has as a de facto sovereign country. I’ve been objective and constructively critical, but at times, I admit, favorable. I hailed Taiwan’s police for not bloodying students who entered the Legislature in 2014—a stark contrast to police in Washington DC. Students who entered the Executive branch weren’t so fortunate.  I know; I was here in Taiwan. When Taiwan President Tsai said, “Taiwan is a vibrant democracy; it has many problems, but it is worth saving,” with permission, she was borrowing my words from one of many supportive letters to US Congress.

In the last twelve years, I never went public with the name of my accusers nor did I publish related articles where I am syndicated. Peace was my goal. Taiwan needed time to change, but I have seen no change. Work permits still pass through the hands of a gate-keeping boss. Rights of dual citizenship remain non-existent.

I’ve applied for permanent residence twice. The first time, the committee voted “no” on matters unrelated to my application; the meeting was out of order, which I can prove because Taiwan’s unabashed government sent me the minutes of the committee meeting to show me I was wrong. The second time, I applied based on my favorable coverage of Taiwan in the press, given their unredressed grievances and my patience and, most importantly, my silence. The application response deadline is 90 days; Immigration hasn’t given an official response of their committee’s vote in over 200 days.

What may I conclude, but love? I can’t hate Taiwan for being systemically prejudice. Black Americans don’t hate me for my systemic racism. I didn’t know what I did to Black Americans—I still don’t because I don’t see systemic prejudice when it favors me. We can’t make excuses for ourselves, but the Black Man isn’t complaining about any “big nothing” as some purport. I was raised a White Republican. I must learn to listen to Black Americans just as I know Taiwanese can only understand by listening to me.

This was a message I eagerly wanted to tell Americans: invisible injustice in our systems cause poverty! But, I couldn’t tell that story without hurting the Taiwanese people. Now, after 200 days of waiting for a 90 day deadline, it’s safe to say that Taiwan’s Immigration Agency won’t mind.

Of course, I have many Taiwanese friends whom I don’t deserve, many of the skateboarders. Why would I choose Tainan, a city with the most restrictive skatepark and skateboard laws on the island? Tainan has talented skateboarders as eager and gifted as anywhere else. Injustice in any system affects every sector. I don’t run from problems no matter how small, no matter how scary. It’s hard to leave friends, especially when their patience has changed my life. Taiwan opened my eyes over the last twelve years to understand the plight of the Black Man. I understand my first country better because I kept reaching out to the hand that slapped me back. And, I kept taking the many hands in Taiwan that reached out to me.

I can’t reject the Taiwanese. They’ve taught me too much.

Taiwan’s Prejudice of Foreigners Taught Me Black Systemic Racism Is Real from Jesse Steele

[dio-roga]

‘AskMarshandBroflovski’

Author/Artist:              jovishark Additional Credit:        puppetamateur Status:                         Complete Links:                           Tumblr Rec No:                        #2 (Part One)

The Gist of It (aka. TLDR)

‘Stan and Kyle go through a whole lot of shit during their last couple years of high school; with side-characters and sub-plots galore. Honestly dudes, it’s hard to summarize this one since it’s just so jam packed with all kinds of everything. This askblog, maybe more than anything else I’ve read, really does encapsulate that whole ‘something for everyone’ feeling. Just trust me my dudes, ships galore, on-point writing, and gorgeous art. Go go.”

Also putting this before the page break: I know, it’s technically not a Cryde work, but I guarantee, there’s more content between those two in there than in most exclusively cryde-centric things. For a bit of trivia, it was this blog that got me into Cryde as a ship to begin with. So c’mon below, and I’ll try and reassure you…

Also also: Fair warning, this rec’ll be long af. I’m a little obsessed. So, get yourself a drink or something?

Storytelling

So like I said in the gist, the premise is fairly simple from the outset; Stan and Kyle start up an askblog, and your usual mix of hilarity, drama and ‘will-they, wont-they’ romance ensues. Now I had read askblogs before this one, and generally found them a lot of fun, but holy shit− from the get-go dudes, from the absolute start, this one had its hooks in me like nothing else has ever quite managed before or since. I’d originally just come across it after seeing some of the Craig/Clyde panels on some google search one weekend; then before I knew it, it was Monday morning and I’d read the whole blog front to back, and was experiencing like, genuine feelings for the first time in a long while.

A lot of what snagged me was the writing, which I walked in totally not expecting to take my soul hostage the way it did. The dialogue I’ll talk about with the characters, but as far as the actual story elements were presented? It reads like a god damn mini-series, with actual self-contained story arcs, side-scenarios that mesh in with the A-plot and oh my sweet jesus, the world building in this thing… Seriously dudes, I normally try and stay more grounded in tropes and clever literary devices and what have you, but with this blog I have a lot of trouble not getting like, emotionally invested.

I think that really is what makes this one so special; the atmosphere. There’s this underlying theme of determination and overcoming adversity (mirroring the writing of the blog itself, if you read the authors notes throughout− something I’d defiantly recommend) It’s the sort of writing that genuinely inspires people, deals with difficult subject matter and just generally gives off a positive vibe about soldering on and making good on big life changes, and that includes everyone, of every age and background.

And therein lies another giant strength, the variety. I would think it a very difficult task for someone to not find something they enjoy in this story; it’s a god damn carnival ride− not to spoil too much, but there’s a wash of different genres, different dynamics, different methods of storytelling and different perspectives on those stories. There’s music, there’s action, audience-participation, and enough backstory and little details that I’m still picking up new things even after having read through multiple times.

And lastly, oh boy− pitchforks and torches at the ready –there’s the content between Craig and Clyde. Now I’m not going to sugarcoat it, or really bother trying to hide the fact that these two don’t wind up in a happy relationship here. But please, and I really do mean this, don’t let that dissuade you. They have a very complicated relationship that keeps changing throughout, but their bond never goes away− so just because it isn’t all kisses and romance, I’d say it’s still one of the most endearing relationships I’ve seen written about the two (hence why I’m sticking to my guns on calling this a cryde-recommendation). Honestly, and I can say this from experience here, it gels with how boys like that can end up acting at that age. Despite everything, they still wind up being the biggest player in each other’s lives.

Characters

There is just characters bursting at the seams here, if you’re a fan of someone in the show, you can bet they’ll probably make an appearance somewhere along the line; or at least get a mention. Even Scott Malkinson gets namedropped, and that’s the first time I’ve seen him show up in something I’ve read in this fandom in like, forever.

Stan and Kyle are great picks for the leads, it feels easy experiencing the events unfold from their perspectives− honestly, it’s like watching a more grown up version of the TV-show for the most part, with Cartman and Kenny filling in with their usual contributions of being an asshole and a sweetheart respectively. (I really do love the way Cartman’s handled; he plays a tremendous bastard to be sure, but in a way you could imagine his childhood-self becoming- he makes a delightfully hammy and worryingly formidable antagonist) Also features pretty much my favorite version of Wendy I’ve come across; she’s the real MVP.

Craig’s low-key stealing scenes at first, before kicking things into high-gear and trying to take over the show throughout the run, to the point where he’s pretty much the focal point of all the drama several times. He’s a bit of a mess, but understandably so. Truthfully, all the characters have a unique take on them (all in keeping with how you’d imagine their canon counterparts at that age) and it’s a delight to learn what makes them all tick. I think with Craig especially, his views often radically differ from what you’re presented with by the other characters (including Stan and Kyle) and it’s never written in a way that forces you to side with any particular party as being ‘in the right’. Something I always find refreshing when it’s done as well as it’s done here. Everyone is presented with both strengths and faults, with actual long-running consequences for past actions, good and bad, and it’s up to you as the reader to make what you will out of it.

But then you’ve got the dialogue, and my god, it really takes the cake. There’s not much I can say apart from I legitimately thought some scenes and mannerisms must have been penned by Trey himself− the humor especially. Truly guys, you’re in for a treat. I would have loved to have asked the boys a question back in the day.

Style

Since I’ve gone long on the writing, I have to pretty much devote this section to the artwork because it’s fucking magic. Picture paints a thousand words and all that, and my god, does it ever do that here− the way things are scripted and tied in with the respective art? It makes for all sorts of amazing comedic timing, adds tenfold to any of the emotional scenes and just makes the story flow like a dream; I always have trouble putting it down once I get started.

Jovi’s just an incredibly talented artist, there is simply no escaping this fact. Each and every character has a unique design that fits their character and− I realize this one’s super subjective –to me, they all have such charm and personality in the way they’re drawn. It’s this masterfully presented cartoon-style with an emphasis on expressions, movement and color that I honestly just adore. Even at the very start of the blog, where the art is almost entirely different than it winds up looking at the finishing point two years later, I just love it− again with a South Park comparison, it reminds me of the watching the early cardboard-cutout style of the show compared to its newer 3D designs, both holding a special place in my heart in their own ways.

It floors me to think this was the author’s first major project. As mentioned above, I’d greatly recommend reading through the blog in its entirety, including all the commentaries by the mods, the funny tags, the side-art. One of the most inspiring things about this work is getting a sense of the love and dedication that was put into it over the years it was running; like watching the behind-the-scenes on some giant motion epic and coming to terms with how much effort went into producing what you’re seeing. It’s practically another story itself, and no less heartening than with the boys and their trials and tribulations. Seriously dude, so much kudos.

Favorite Things

The content variety. There’s just so much to love here, things being kept fresh and exciting throughout the super long run-time of the blog without feeling disjointed, on top of managing a satisfying conclusion. There’s a lot of fun to be had, no half-measures.

The character dynamics are a treat. With such a big cast, there’s all sorts of different personalities playing off each other, with dynamic relationships that all manage to evolve and grow. Definite love given to proper character arcs.

Inspiring themes and feel-good moments really do make this a gem to read when you’re looking for a pick me up. The messages about dealing with depression and addiction, managing your health and fitness and even studying and making smart choices− all of them really hit home.

Relationships of all different types; one’s that work out, one’s that don’t, some being easy, some being hard, long ones, short ones, mistakes and awkward surprises. Romance is well and truly covered, and I like that it doesn’t shy away with the stuff that just doesn’t end well.

Some of the best artwork you’ll come across (and so utterly fitting of the material), drawn to such a quality standard and on such a short time-frame that it kinda makes my head spin. I’m now at the point that when I think about the characters, these versions are the ones that appear in my head.

It’s honestly a little embarrassing for me to talk about AMAB, and god knows it’s pretty presumptuous, y’know? New guy recommends beloved artwork that already attracted thousands of followers back in its day. I’m going to guess this’ll end up being the rec that I’ll have needed to have written the least− since like, all of you have probably already devoured the blog long before you learned about it here.

But you know? If anything, I hope this ends up reconfirming what an excellent choice it was for you to have read it. And as always with these review things, if the author should read this, I hope you know just how much what you’ve made affected me and countless others; how good you deserve to feel, and how proud the people in your life must be of you for doing something so important and worthwhile.

As usual, next post’ll be spoilers and artwork− and I’m just going to bury my head in the sand so hard because my artwork is garbage compared, but we’ll have to muddle through. Join me there for second hand embarrassment, okay?

[surveystodestressme]

48.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 9

801. How often do you change your mood in a day? not a lot 802. When you ask people how they are doing you actually care about their answer or is it just polite? well, when i ask while i’m at work i’m just doing it to be polite but when i ask someone i know, i care. 803. Would you consider yourself to be very polite? yeah, i think so 804. Do you like movies and books that involve nuclear holocaust? sure? lol i don’t think i’ve ever read/seen any 805. Have you ever had a lucid dream (a dream in which you knew you were dreaming and had complete control over what happened in the dream)? i don’t think so.  i’ve tried to lucid dream (apparently there’s a specific way that you have to fall asleep in order to be able to do it.  i don’t think it works tho)

806. Have you ever had a flying dream? i’m sure as a kid i did 807. Have you ever had a lucid flying dream? nope 808. What’s the oddest law you ever heard of? none at the top of my head but i’ve looked up stupid laws before and there is plenty lol 809. What is the ultimate way to connect with another person? just getting to know each other and sharing things about yourself with them 810. Can you be intimate with someone without touching him or her? i think so? sexting ig 811. Can men and women ever really be ‘just friends’ with no interest in anything more? absolutely.  i have plenty of male friends and i don’t have interest in them whatsoever.  813. Are you addicted to this survey like drugs? no lol 814. If your significant other wanted to wait for marriage could you hold out or would you leave them (or would you cheat)? well, if you’re talking about sex we’ve already done it lol.  but if he wanted to wait, i would wait for him.  i love him 815. What’s the longest sentence you can make using only words that start with the same letter as your first name? cierra cried continuously covering curious cats cruelly.  that’s all i got 816. If you had a theme song what would it be? i’d have my friends write it for me 817. Are you cranky? yeah 818. Which group generally annoys you more, people older than you, or people younger than you? people younger than me for sure 819. Do you refer to older people as old farts? lol sometimes 820. Do you refer to younger people as the kids? usually 821. Which is better: Poems that everyone can relate to or poems that are intensely personal to the author? both are good honestly. 822. Is it worse to be too hot or too cold? too hot. 823. Are you so flexible that you can put your feet behind your head? nope 824. Would you enjoy reading fairy tales written about robots? i enjoy reading lots of things 825. Is smoking a turn on or gross? not a turn on lol kinda gross 826. What is the one way you wouldn’t want to die? drowning 827. Which would look sillier on you: A cowboy hat or a Rasta hat? a cowboy hat 828. Would you rather have a job doing something indoors or outdoors? indoors. 829. Would you rather learn more about human nutrition or meteorology? meteorology 830. Have you ever taken honors courses? yeah 831. What do you think of crop circles? they’re weird 832. Where do they come from? aliens??? 833. When was the last time you screwed up big time? a couple weeks ago 834. You have a choice. What do you eat: A veggie burger this one A turkey dog A cheese sandwich 835. Do you get a lot of random instant messages? nope 836. Do you have a paper journal also?

yes 837. VHS or DVD? i don’t care either way 838. Vinyl, cassette tape, or CD? casette man.  i never got a mix tape and i’ve always wanted one 839. Have you ever seen the video/heard the song Days Go By, performed by Dirty Vegas? nope 840. MTV: should it play more videos or more shows? more videos for sure 841. Name a band: five finger death punch Do fans of that band tend to share any characteristics with each other? i don’t know? i guess so 842. What does the expression 'touch and go’ mean? do something fast 843. Caffeine or alcohol? caffeine 844. Betty or Veronica? betty Archie or Reggie or Jughead? jughead 845. What book are you reading right now? i’m not currently reading a book although i need to 846. Is the news too depressing? sometimes 847. Would you rather have a stuffed lion, elephant, pig or duck? pig 848. Are you late for a very important date? not that i remember 849. Ever use star 69? yeah 850. Is everyone as smart as you? sure 851. Have you ever seen the musical Annie? nope 852. Sheets: silk or satin? silk 853. Bath: soap or bubbles? bubbles 854. Your best color: blue or red? blue. 855. What’s your favorite candy? sour punch straws 856. Can you sing? somewhat 857. It’s the end of the world, as we know it. How do you feel? a lil mad 858. You take your little sister (she’s 12) shopping for school clothes. Mom gave you the money to hold. She picks out a skimpy top emblazoned “Hottie” and hip-hugging pants that leave at least two inches of skin north and south of her navel exposed to the wind. She insists: If she doesn’t have these clothes, she’ll look awful, the other kids will tease her, and she’ll feel like a nerd. Do you think she should or should not wear these clothes? hell fucking no Do you buy them for her? absolutely not 859. What do you think is the most annoying cliché? everything will be okay 860. What band is underground right now but will one day get really popular? uhh.. idk 861. Of the following which word best describes you: versatile (flexible): this i guess. wonderful: x-tra special: your own best friend: zany: 862. What does BYOB stand for? bring your own beer 863. Who is sexiest: Marilyn Monroe James Dean yesss Elvis Jim Morrison Madonna Cyndi Lauper 864. Do you always do what’s expected of you? i try to 865. Do you believe everything you hear on the news? nope 866. Would you prefer a $100.00 gift certificate to Hot Topic or Abercrombie & Fitch (assuming neither store gives change, so you’ll have to spend the whole thing)? hot topic 867. Have you ever won a competition? not that i remember 868. Who looks sloppier when they are over weight, guys or girls? either honestly.  but only when it’s severely overwight 869. At what age do you become all grown up? in your late 20s or early 30s 870. Have you ever written graffiti on anything? nope 871. Can you remember what you wrote? - 872. Are you a force of nature? sure??? 873. What do you think of blue eye shadow? How about gold eye shadow? they can look good 874. Would you ever wear any of the following Halloween costumes: Flapper? Hippie? Disco dancer? i’d wear all of them. 875. Should birth control be taught in high school? How about in jr. high or elementary school? yes to both 876. Would you consider yourself a genius? not at all 877. What did you think of the movie Solaris? never seen it 878. Which is usually better movies or books? books allll the way.  but i love movies too 879. Do you think The Hobbit will be made into a movie? it already is 880. Do you research which brands use sweatshops to make their clothing before you shop? no but i probably should 881. What gives you a magical feeling? love? lol idk 882. Have you ever pulled apart a Christmas cracker? i don’t even know what that is 883. Would you rather watch basketball or play basketball? watch 884. Do you think that everyone makes his or her own problems? most of the time 885. Do you often consider how your actions will affect other people? sometimes 886. Are J-Lo and Ben Afleck interesting to you at all? not really 887. Do you use bad grammar or hate bad grammar? i hate it but i occasionally use it lol 888. Make up a tabloid headline: morgan freeman lives forever 889. Do you like to learn new things? yes. 890. What’s more important, fame or personal accomplishment? personal accomplishment. 891. Sweet dreams are made of this….What are they made of? goals? lol happiness??? idk man 892. Two trailer park girls go round the outside…Round the outside of what? idk 893. Are you wearing a piece of jewelry that means a lot to you right now? nope i don’t wear jewelry 894. If someone was going to inscribe a message on a ring and give it to you what would you want it to say? i love you? 895. Guys who are losing their hair: Should they shave their heads? Get implants? Or let it go? whatever they want to do 896. Do rock stars work hard or lead the easy life? a little bit of both 897. How much water do you drink every day? ,maybe a glass of day sometimes more 898. Are you driven or kinda apathetic? driven mostly 899. Who do you turn to when you are down? jack 900. Would you ever wear seran-wrap? no??? lol

[analyzingrhink-blog]

"Song For When You Want To Say I Love You But You Can't"

This song is the epitome of Let’s write a love song to each other about how we can’t say we love each other.

This song is exactly what it says. How to say I love you, when you can't. They wrote it to and for each other as a celebration of the love they share for one another. A love that they can’t fully admit to the outside world, maybe can’t even admit behind closed doors. But upon listening to this song, we both realized there is a lot that alludes to their shared life. There are so many references to their relationship and the things they have experienced in their thirty plus years together. We theorize that they are singing to each other, not these ‘imaginary’ women. This analysis is highly subjective, but we need to note that Rhett and Link’s  inspiration draws from their shared past. We will attempt to deconstruct these lyrics, connect said lyrics to their combined past and illustrate how this song is indeed about their love for one another. Let’s do that.

Hey girl

You know we've been dating for a long time now

Going on five whole weeks

RandL has been together for a very long time now. That part is exactly true. It is ironic how they are talking about a five week relationship, yet all the lyrics point toward a long and trusting one. The type of relationship that they themselves share.

Now that's commitment, baby

They made a commitment in blood to do something great together. They wrote it out and cut their hands and became blood brothers vowing to do something big and great together.

So we've prepared this very special song

For the very special ladies in our lives

Listen up

 It was magic on our first date

At the food court in the mall (at the Sbarro)

You still won't let me meet your parents

But hey, that's your call

Maybe alluding to not being able to tell their parents/friends about what's going on.

(You're a strong, independent woman)

 Remember our first kiss

Romantically lit

Their first kiss (that we know of) was the plexi-glass kiss, lit by all the studio lights.

In the Wal-Mart parking lot

The Walmart Song is one of the many things they created together. This might remind them of their shared goals.

(Always low prices)

And then what did we do?

We got matching tattoos

This has definitely happened. Not only matching tattoos, on the same part of their body, but of the same thing--their wives’ names.

Of our high school mascot

(The charging chipmunks)

The person they are singing to went to the same high school….. Rhett and Link went to the same high school…..(long story short, the person they are singing to is not imaginary woman, but they themselves)

Now I'm ready to say

They weren’t ready to say it before. But something has changed. Some aspect in their lives has made them brave.

 I lost my shoe in the park

It was a flip-flop, have you seen it?

I lotioned my skin with hotel shampoo

They’ve spent their fair share of time in hotel rooms together.

It was an accident

We  have no doubt that Link had done this at least once on the multiple times Rhett and he have shared a motel room.

 You nursed me back to health

When I woke up in Mexico

(He was missing a kidney)

Kidney pain is very similar to back pain, which Rhett experiences frequently.

And I drove you to the hospital

When you fell off the hoverboard

They both love the idea of hover boards. Link even has a shirt dedicated to the idea.

And broke both elbows

This part really stuck out for us. Rhett accompanied Link to the hospital when Link fell off his snowboard and broke his pelvis.

(All two of 'em)

His pelvis was broken and his memory was gone. Two injuries.

 You shaved my hairy back

We are unaware of any backs being shaved, but Rhett and Link have shaved many other things together. In school Link was cutting Rhett’s hair to a buzz cut. They shaved each others’ heads in college. Link shaved Rhett’s beard in the Killing Rhett’s beard episode. They created two videos on how to kill a mustache and how to kill a beard.

Popped the pimples I can't reach

And you went with me to get my dog spayed

(Helping control the pet population)

Two theories: Jade and Barbara. OR The many discussions about getting vasectomies.

 I think it's time to lock this down

Open my heart

And finally say

They want to finally let out the love that they have for one another. It has been long enough. They have lived with these feelings for too long and it is finally time to share these with each other and the world.

 I long-jump on the weekends

I'm in a league, you should come watch

This is another throw back to their shared pasts. Rhett coached little league basketball for his son. Link came to the game and watched Rhett. Link even commented on Rhett’s chosen attire. Also there was all the times in their childhood where Rhett was training for a basketball scholarship, and Rhett’s family would come watch Link play soccer.

I lowered my car insurance

By fifteen percent when I switched to Geico

(Not a sponsor)

This may be in reference to several things. They could be talking about the many cars they have purchased together. Or it is most likely a reference to their The Backup Plan series of videos sponsored by Geico. Not a sponsor, boys? Come on!

  Those three little words

They're so hard to say

And even though I can't say 'em

Yeah, we don't need to say much about this. It probably would be hard to say. After so long.

I want you think I'm saying 'em anyway

It is hard to say, not only because of the area and time they grew up, but that they are also married with children. It would be difficult to admit feelings that could rock their perfectly set lives. But it is important to note, that they can’t say these words, but they so want to. They want to show each other how much they mean to the other. So when you want to say I love you, but you can't...you write a silly love song for comedy.

 I'll make you happy

If you just do this

Just put it on mute (mute it up)

And read my lips

 So they may not be able to say the words. So ignore what is being said. Read their “lips” or read everything else they do. Every action shows a multitude of love. Going to the same college, aspiring towards the same dreams, putting their livelihoods in jeopardy to pursue silly dreams and moving cross country. Actions speak much louder than words. And these boys have spoken a million I love you’s without actually uttering anything.

 Olive juice

Elephant poo

All the shoes

Mythical Shoes?

On the news

They were on the news for their Red House Commercial controversy.

I love booze

Alligator food

Island view

Vacuum

Will it vacuum seal?

Pile of poo

Dried-up glue

Could be in reference to two things. One they did a Wheel Ending a month earlier where their hands were superglued together.  But it most likely refers to the dried glue on the mythical mail boulder. Taking them back to the roots of their show, where they glued a lego man to a rock and it became an empire.

Buy a zoo

Commercial Kings Zoo episode, along with all the references to poo.

Crawl and spew

Cows like moo

they interacted with a cow during their Are you going to eat that song video

Find Blues Clues

This seems suspiciously close to Buies Creek.

I lick boots

I like your boots, anyone?

Is that you?

They did a GMM on amnesia

All birds flew

First episode of GMCL was about birds.

Eyes like puce

Owls can hoot

Another GMCL episode

Barbecue

Throwback to their BBQ song that they did with alka seltzer road trip. This is also a very important concept in the south.

 These many ways to say I love you without actually saying it is true RandL style.  They have only said the actual words a handful of times and it was always by mistake or without thinking. This also shows how they don’t really need to say the actual words, because they both know in their hearts what they mean to one another. It is in their eyes and gestures. It is in each action and smile. So they say I love you everyday without the actual words. The words are unimportant. The list of ways to say I love you without saying it is a nod to these other ways they show love to one another.

See some other episodes where they mention love here and here and here

[tayrae515]

Broken Home.

Requested by: None

Pairing: Fp Jones x Reader

Description:  When you've gone through hell and back to find a place that feels like home it’s not a welcome feeling to have it pulled out front under your feet. Especially when your home isn’t a place, it’s a person.

Warnings: Cursing, crying, abandonment. Some spoilers, not all of them exactly like the show. 

A/N:  I’m, not by any means a fanfiction/ imagine writer, but I’ve been so inspired lately by all the wonderful authors on Tumblr and my favorite show Riverdale that I decided to give it a try. Please give me your feedback! Keep in mind this is my first fanfic!

         You can’t really think back to a time when you weren’t a serpent. Maybe it’s because when you’re left defenseless and alone at only twelve you learn a thing or two about taking what you can get and not throwing a fit, or maybe it was how welcome you felt. For once in your life, you didn't have to pretend to be someone you weren’t. You could show your emotional state without being judged for not fitting into a status quo. The serpents found you living in an old broke down bus, only a mile away from their usual hangout the White Whyrm. What can you say you didn't have anywhere to go your parents decided you were more trouble than you were worth, packed up their belongings and kicked you to the curb while they left for god knows where. You were shocked, you were hurt, you were broken. Until the notoriously known south side gang took you in and made you one of their own. You never knew you could or even would feel compassion and love like that ever again. Not since that day, your blood threw you aside like an old trash bag. Now nine year later you know the feeling more than ever. You feel it with the gang and you feel it with him. Never did you imagine falling for someone almost twice your age but he’s home. Your home. 

The sun shone in through the slightly torn cream curtains while your eyes fluttered open, heavy lids feel onto your tired eyes as you took in your surroundings. You were in his trailer, his bed to be more precise. Nuzzled into his chest a strong arm draped around your side bringing you warmth in the chilly room.

“Fp?” You mumbled into his chest while barely awake. There was a slight stir next to you and the arm gripped your side tighter pulling you further into his strong chest. He looked down at you with tired eyes as his lips pulled into a small smirk. 

“Yes (y/n)?” He let out softly barely recognizable, but due to your closeness, the words were crystal clear. 

“Don’t you have Jugheads homecoming dinner at the Coopers tonight?” Your eyes fluttered up looking into his. A flash of remembrance appeared in his eyes, his other hand went to rub his face. 

“Don’t remind me. I love my son and want to go to be there for him but that Alice just knows how to get under my skin. Will you go with me?” A hopefully smiled filled his face, brown eyes wide. 

“As much as I would love to, this is something that should be just you and your son.” With a quick peck on the cheek, you moved his arm and got out of the bed heading toward the door frame mumbling a quick “thank for the invite though” before walking to the kitchen and pouring a glass of orange juice. Fp quickly followed and you two sat cuddled on the yellow couch watching old movies until he realized the time. 

“Shit. I have to go babe, I’m meeting Jug at the Coopers in twenty.” He picked his coat up from the couch arm before placing a swift kiss on your lips, smirking as he pulled away. 

“See you after the dance. Try not to hurt Alice no matter how annoying, I don’t think that would go over too well with Jug and his girl and who knows maybe you could show me some famous Fp dance moves afterward.” You replayed a smirk of your own growing on your pink lips. 

“Funny real funny.” The thin trailer door closed behind him leaving you alone in the metal, portable home. About an hour had passed since Fp left for the blonde family known as the Coopers dinner party when a thought dawned on you. Why not get real pretty and surprise the man at the dance. See some of those killer Fp moves in action. You smiled at the thought and threw on a maroon mid arm sequin skater dress. Simple but classy. You’re (y/h/c) left in light curls down your back and a quick hint of mascara and lipstick to finish your look. Borrowing a car from your neighbor you drove to the high school dance to surprise your boyfriend. Once at the school, you parked and made your way to the crowded gym. Your eyes scanned around for Fp but failed to find him, however, you spotted the younger Jones boy and thought maybe he knew where Fp was. Following him out into the hallway you stopped when you heard voices rising and the younger Jones boy yelling. Four teenagers resided in the narrow hallway. The blonde one first to speak. 

“No, I didn’t know what they were doing. But yes that is why.” Her voice sounded desperate needing the beanie-clad boy to believe her. It was silent for a few moments while the boy ran a hand down his face like his father had done that morning. 

“To think I was going to pass on going to Toledo with my family for you.” You couldn’t really hear much else after that you felt your heart shatter into a million different pieces like it had that day nine years ago, all you felt was pain. A strong hand gripped your shoulder and turned you around to face it, Fp himself stood in front of you grin on his face. 

“(y/n) what are you doing here? You look amaz-. Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked with worried eyes now noticing the tears dripping down your cheek. A sarcastic laugh ripped through your throat as you turned around and walked out the school doors Fp right on your heels. 

“What’s wrong? Where you going to tell me Fp? Where you even going to let me know you planned on leaving to Toledo with your wife and family or was I just going to be left alone and in the dark?” His face dropped and his gaze averted you (y/e/c) eyes and looked at the pavement in front of him not sure how to respond. So you continued.

“I see now, I wasn’t special to you. You just used me to fill the void while you cleaned up to get her back. I was nothing to you was I?” Tear more violent now than ever when his hand gripped your arm, instantly you meet his chocolate eyes.

“No (y/n), you do mean something to me. You mean everything to me, I didn’t just use you I never could. I love you more than you could ever know but I’m not good enough for you and I’m never going to be, I need to do this for my boy, I need to do this for you. I was going to tell you.” His voice smoothed out at the last part.

“You love me. You love me. No Fp Jones you don’t, I’ve been left enough to know that you couldn’t do this to someone you love. In our 9 months of dating, you never thought to tell me you planned on leaving one day? Here I’ll make it easier for you, I’ll be the one to leave.” You spat the words at him ripped your arm out of his grip and took off down the stairs toward the borrowed car. 

You heard him call your name, but you ignored it. Rushing to the car and driving back to the trailer to get what little belongings you had. Fp was quick to follow in his own truck hoping to catch you before you left his life for good. He realized almost losing you that he can’t, in fact, live without you. You grounded him kept him safe and gave him the reassurance he so desperately needed at times. He wasn’t just your home, but you were his. All Fp has ever wanted was to make his son proud and provide you the life you deserved, Fp never felt like he was good enough and him leaving was supposed to be his way of making things right on both accords. His brain was going one hundred miles per hour as he raced to the metal trailer. Once reached he left the car on and ran inside hoping to catch his home before she left for good. (y/n) (y/l/n) had changed his life for the better and he didn’t know what to do without her, but now he realized he’ll have to learn as all (y/n) belongings were gone except for a note on the kitchen counter. 

“You were my love and my home. I hope you can find what you were looking for in Toledo. Sorry I couldn’t provide what you needed.” It was her handwriting and it was in that moment that Fp Jones had the ground ripped from under him. He lost you. His love, his family, his home. 

He was now broken.

Ok! I know some parts kinda drag on but I tried. I’m actually very proud of my first one. Please give me feedback and if you want a part two you can request it! Thank you!! :)

[fangirlingabout]

Since you are a big fan of cartoons what are your top 10 favorite cartoons of all time? Honorable mentions can be included

Oh! Oh, cool! You seriously don’t know how cool it is that someone would care to ask, thank you!

Also, sorry for the wait. Seriously, that was excessively sucky. Life likes to get busy at inconvenient times, you know?

But dang, that’s such a hard question… 

Only one way to do this right.

Dammit, Anon, This is Hard

I’m not the type of person to decide on ranks (or anything) very easily, so I’ll say this: some choices were easier than others.

I should also mention a lot of these choices are very personal, and if this were a more objective list of the best shows out there, it would be totally different. I also don’t pretend to always have the best taste, these really are just my favourites that I’ve seen. Sometimes I can recognize that one show is probably objectively better than one I like, but that won’t necessarily stop me from liking something. Basically, my list, my bias. 

Still, I’ll do my best to explain my choices for those of you who didn’t have the same experiences with these shows that I did. I assume you don’t live in my brain.

Honourable Mentions

Is it hard to believe that the honourable mentions section was harder to decide than the actual list?

There’s just so many shows I’ve enjoyed and I think deserve to be lauded. If you ask me, “Well, what about ____?! Where the hell was ____?!” it would probably fall in this category.

I’ll try to keep it short, though:

The Fairly Odd Parents - I don’t think you could’ve grown up in the early 2000s without encountering this show in some capacity, but I absolutely loved it growing up; I played FOP video games, I watched it every day after school, I even remember catching all the movies on TV whenever I could. It’s always had such a great sense of humour, combined with the jazzy stylistic choices that gave it that extra punch. More recent seasons aside, this one is a 2000s classic.

Over the Garden Wall - I watch this every October now. It’s absolutely spectacular. I think the only thing holding it back is sadly that it’s a miniseries—and it’s not like I would change that, the story needed to be told the way it was. But it’s become seasonal for me, so it’s a favourite but… only briefly.

Rick and Morty - Damn, I love this show. Just give it one more season and let the plot really start to kick in, it may start to climb this list

There are also plenty of shows that I think could be on here had I gotten to watch more of them, and some of those include:

Batman: The Animated Series

Danny Phantom

Sym-Bionic Titan 

And here are shows I once had a bit of an obsession with that in hindsight… was a bit unwarranted (again, I never claimed to have great taste):

Hi Hi Puffy Ami Yumi

Yin Yang Yo!

Total Drama Island/Action

With that out of the way, onto the list!

#10. South Park

What can I say about a comedy that’s antagonized censorship on TV 20 seasons? Well, for one, there are moments that genuinely reward you for caring about these characters for so long. For example, there’s a gut-punch of a two-parter, You’re Getting Old/Ass-Burgers that legitimately made fans question if the show was in danger of ending, with just how fatalistic it’s tone is.

They’ve even since made the transition from episodic to serialized season-long stories—to varying degrees of success, admittedly, but I don’t know if a show, especially one this well-established (this happened in season 18) has ever done that.

In a strange way, South Park’s a show that innovates. It quickly surpassed any other show on at the time for most edgy/boundary-pushing—to the point that its offensive humour wouldn’t be acceptable coming from anyone else but South Park (which isn’t to say I don’t understand when/if people have an issue with it, but… more on that in a sec)!

I’d also like to give special shoutout to the South Park Movie, and the recent South Park video games, the Stick of Truth and Fractured, but Whole—all three of which are jam-packed with South Park goodness.

Personal Reasons: When I was growing up this was the pinnacle in shows my mom didn’t want me to watch. And with what little of a rebellious streak I had, I took that to mean it needed my attention. 

I remember watching it late at night (which just made it more scandalous!) with my brother, and separately with my best friend at the time, Daniel. We loved that kind of raunchy, crude humour! And in hindsight, like I said, I know there’s been plenty of times when they’ve made jokes in poor taste, but I don’t know. Sometimes when you make fun of everyone equally, there can be room for some less tasteful jokes. Especially when being a boundry-pusher is a big part of your identity.

As the old saying goes, “It’s South Park: what did you expect?”

#9. Clone High

One of the more obscure choices on this list, but I’ve mentioned it from time to time for sure. Coming from the writing/directing team behind Lego: Batman, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and 21 Jump Street, Clone High was a short-lived 13-episode MTV comedy.

The premise was simple: clones of famous historical figures all go to high school together.

Done, simple as that. 

But what makes it so funny is how it parodies the high school drama genre while still existing as it’s own story with it’s own characters. Like, every episode is always announced as a “very special episode” and even in their short run, they managed to do the Drug episode, the holiday episode, the natural disaster episode, the dramatic Death episode, the class election episode—it just doesn’t let up.

Oh, and I’d like to mention Pan Pzza/Rebel Taxi did a stellar review that goes into the history surrounding the show along with some analysis of its content, so if I piqued you’re interest at all, you can find a more in-depth review over here.

Personal Reasons: This s a show my brother introduced me to. Watching videos or playing video games with my cool older brother was always awesome, so watching a show with him as tons of fun.

#8. Moral Orel

My god… this show is the absolute most brutal show I’ve ever loved. You can tell by my lists that I tend towards shows that deal with darker subjects in soft, even light-hearted ways, but this isn’t that kind of show.

Or, at least, the season that made it my 8th favourite show isn’t.

I should explain. Moral Orel was a show on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim that had a total of 3 seasons (with a prequel special that came out years after the fact), and for most of the first two seasons, it’s a vastly different show than in its third season.

From the second season’s finale onward, Moral Orel becomes one of the most bleak, bitter, heart-wrenchingly real shows on TV. It’s breath-takingly bitter.

The first two seasons largely center around the main character Orel Puppington and his religious adventures in his hometown of Moralton. It started as a parody of Christian cartoons, in particular the stop-motion/claymation Davey and Goliath. 

Basically, Orel would learn a lesson from an authority figure in town and misinterpret it to the extreme. It could make for some funny commentary now and again, but in truth it was nothing special.There were a few early episodes worth watching, like the Lord’s Prayer and The Best Christmas Ever, but if that’s all it had to offer, its charm would wear thin.

This, on the other hand, is no regular series.

The fact that it started out the way it did makes the reveal even more powerful. You see, those more upbeat first two seasons, where the morals are skewed and everything’s just a bit cheerier than it should be come crashing down when Orel’s father’s alcoholism is taken devastatingly seriously during a hunting trip in the two-part season finale “Nature” parts 1&2.

Nature marks a drastic turn in the series tonally. From there, the series shifts focus from just being about Orel to chronicling the lives of several members of the town in the aftermath and the days surrounding that infamous hunting trip. The third season even starts counting down each episode (Numb, for instance is 1 out of 13). 

And the reason for this is that as Orel lost faith in his father in that season finale, we, along with Orel, start to see all the people in his life in a different, sometimes disturbing light.

If I’m making it out to sound a bit on the unwatchable side, I understand, you don’t always want to watch something that will bring you down like that. But to sing its praises just a bit more, the reason it struck such a chord with me is because there’s such a humanity to it. There is hope somehow, and goodness in all this messed up stuff. 

Personal Reasons: I used to stay up late watching Adult Swim, or use the TV to fall asleep to. I managed to catch episodes now and again, so it hit me hard the first time I saw some of the darker or more bittersweet episodes. 

#7. Steven Universe

We jump from one of the harshest shows to one of the sweetest! And yeah, I was surprised this wasn’t higher, too

And maybe it could change as the series goes on, but in the meantime, wow is this a fantastic show! We’ve talked about it a number of times on FGA, but I don’t think that’s any reason to not sing it’s praises some more!

Premiering in 2013 on Cartoon Network, Steven Universe, as you probably know (because this is Tumblr), follows the titular Steven and his emotionally-driven life with the Crystal Gems, alien rebels from a far-off Homeworld. 

Properly referred to as “singing and crying,” Steven Universe slowly runs the gambit from gorgeously heartbreaking to sweetly uplifting, all the while feeling like a mellow, safe, and warm place to be.

Like many people have said in many different ways, it’s a show that explores relationships. All kinds of relationships. It’s made massive strides in LGBT+ representation in kids’ shows, presenting it without the pomp and circumstance of a “very special episode.”

The gradually unfolding plot has fans like me hooked, even if the slower pace and hiatus plague can leave us hanging for quite some time.

Personal Reasons: This is yet another show that I’ve gotten watch and talk about with my girlfriend, so I think I’ll always remember it fondly for that. Fangirling.

#6. Avatar: The Last Airbender

It’s what I consider to be the greatest show of all time… and it’s this far down on the list. There really is no justice in Bias Town.

One of the best purely serialized shows out on this list, Avatar is a perfect example of a simple three act story-structure. It tells a complete, satisfying story that needed no more and no less.

And in that time, it managed to find the perfect balance for everything. Rich, interesting world-building reflecting real-life cultures? Check. Fun plots that moved forward the overall story? Check. Likable complex characters that humanize the world so no one side is undeniably in the wrong? Check.

The only thing that took a while to grow on me was Avatar’s humour. Can’t explain why, but once I warmed up to it, there were episodes and moments that made me lose my shit.

It’s such a well-crafted story, and I could probably just go on and on about how well everything was developed, but sufficed to say, it would probably top my list for what’s objectively the best cartoon out there.

Personal Reasons: I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before, but I actually missed out on Avatar’s original run. I vaguely remember being interested by it, but never catching an episode in full.

Years later, I somehow stumbled across it by chance, and oh my god. Oh my god, you guys. I watched most of the second and third season in one weekend. I couldn’t stop.

#5. Spongebob Squarepants

In last year’s Nostalgia Month, I fangirled a little bit about Spongegbob, and if you read any of that, you’ll know I’ve always been a huge fan. It’s one of the cornerstone series of my generation (just take a look at the Ocean Man meme that was a thing for a while—that song is buried in the credits of the Spongebob Movie, so you would have had to sit through the credits to get that reference), along with Pokemon and Fairly Odd Parents, so again, I couldn’t not have some experience with it, but I was pretty much a super fan.

And there’s kind of a reason for that. I can’t say what it’s like now, but in its early seasons, it’s humour was surprisingly intelligent and stupidly funny. There’s definitely a difference between stupid characters and a stupid show, and so long as you can see that, you’ll find a charming undersea comedy that became a household name for a reason (at least initially).

Personal Reasons: God, where to start. For one, I have a fear of fish, but I love swimming and the sea. That fear developed in second grade, ironically around the time I would’ve been the deepest in my Spongebob phase. I think it helped, actually. There’s a reason I have a random anchor as a logo. 

And you know, there’s some shows that you love so much that they come to represent a part of your life. All my elementary school days and even into middle school, Spongebob was something I was an expert in. I had as much merch as I could afford to get, I watched it religiously (even the DVD boxsets), I made my first best friend that way— it just ruled my world for a long while there.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way. The nostalgia goggles are strapped on hard for this choice, but I couldn’t honestly tell you I don’t have a sincere place in my heart for it. And always will.

#4. Gravity Falls

You know how the 2010s starting kicking a lot of ass for animation? I think more than anything—more than even Adventure Time (which I do love)—this is the show that represents that to me. Not because it’s dated, but in fact the opposite: because it’s a modern classic that will forever feel timeless. Something truly spectacular that we’ll always look back on and remember as ours.

Gravity Falls takes influences from all the best stuff, but makes itself unique by being incredibly inventive. Like, it really does remind me of any Matt Groening show because of it’s sense of humour and even a bit of the world-building, but the mystery and heart are so magnificently its own. These things are the backbone that take the the already stellar comedy to a whole other level.

The best word for it is just as I said: magnificent.

From beginning to end, it’s undeniably so. It rewards close-viewings and theory-makers ten-fold, and that detail-orientated approach makes the experience that much richer and more, well, rewarding.

You knew it was coming, but hell, I can’t deny a show that succeeds in doing so many things I love so, so well. 

Personal Reasons: I’ll never forget the experience of watching Not What He Seems for the first few times, or really, a lot of the episodes. Watching the fandom come up with theories about the Stan twins a season in advance, and then seeing those theories made reality in the most spectacular, theatrical episode of the television I’ve ever watched blew me the fuck away.

And getting to talk about it here and with LittleNightwing just made it more of an interactive experience, which is exactly the kind of thing Alex Hirsch wanted.

I know I’ve said this too many times by now, but I even wrote part of an episode for Gravity Falls: Deep Woods (a storyboarded fan-series inspired by the show). When episode three eventually comes out, if they haven’t cut it out for time constraints, my name will be in the credits. And having my name associated with anything related to this show is just an honour.

#3. Futurama

I don’t even know what I can say about Futurama that hasn’t already been said, but whatever, I’m gonna try because I have to include it.

It started airing back in 1999, which was appropriate, because the series starts us out by travelling to the year 2999 on New Years, entering into the new millennium as we enter into this new series. And from there, this lovable portrayal of a future that somehow seems not too far from our present day becomes awesome.

Everything is a little crappy. That’s not a diss on the show, it’s just the reality of the year 3000. It’s not some dystopia, but it’s no utopia, either. It comes with all the problems and foibles of modern day, just with different technology, space travel, and alien races.

And don’t get me started on how inventive it can be. The writers staff behind that show is one of the most educated on television—quite literally, with “three Ph.D.s, seven masters degrees, and cumulatively had more than 50 years at Harvard.”

And they put all that to use to make sure the science behind that sci-fi could work. In fact, they not only created their own alien language for the show, but writer Ken Keeler devised an entirely new math equation to resolve a plot point for the episode “Prisoner of Benda.” In the field, it’s referred to as the Futurama theorem or the Keeler theorem, and has since inspired research.

So when I say next level nerdy, I mean next level nerdy.

Futurama uses this incredible scientific and mathematical power to parody the sci-fi genre with a great sense of humour and a Simpsonian sense of heart. Pretty much all of the main cast has at least one tear-jerker episode, but none so powerful as the infamous Jurrasic Bark, an episode dedicated to telling the story of our main character, Phillip J. Fry, and his dog Seymour. It will tear you apart. 

Personal Reasons: This is yet another series I grew up with, and I think it taught me a lot about storytelling. Episodes like Luck of the Fryrish, The Sting, or the aforementioned Jurrasic Bark end on a incredibly bittersweet note, and to really earn that, the writers build it up expertly.

There’s also episodes like the Emmy-winning Roswell that Ends Well that take these wacky sci-fi concept to insane new levels. Whether or not I can execute on that, it taught me to always push an idea further.

Plus, I followed the series from it’s original run to it’s first cancellation to the four straight-to-DVD movies (that I ADORED renting from Blockbuster) to it’s return and final ending in 2013. It’s been one hell of a ride.

#2. The Simpsons

And at this point, you probably know the whole list. But let’s go through it anyway.

The Simpsons, for me, really is one of the most brilliantly stupid comedies out there. It seems there are a number of comedies on this list that could be written off as just brainless, but I think there’s a charm to that for me. Something that clearly doesn’t take itself too seriously when it doesn’t have to. The Simpsons, in that way, has always been rather inviting to me. 

Despite it’s now nearly 30 year run, it never seems to have an ego about itself, even when some consider it the greatest comedy of all time (me).

There’s an endless amount of hilariously quotable episodes, and like any good comedy, it doesn’t skimp out of the character development or sentimentality. It’s certainly lost it’s touch for the most part, as is the case with a lot of running series, but every now and again, even in the later seasons, it still manages to surprise. 

I couldn’t explain it’s legacy if I tried. It’s currently the longest running animated series, and at this point, seems to have outlived the entire era it was so adept at parodying, but it’s still so legendary I can’t fault it! Even the impossible finally does happen and the show takes its final bow, I know this funny family will keep me laughing for years to come.

Personal Reasons: This started as another show my mom didn’t want me to want, but the reason I got to watch it so much and maybe the reason I love it so much is because my dad loved it.

From that point on, I started collecting the DVD boxsets of every season I could, and enjoying all the early seasons I was too young to watch when they originally aired.

And watching Simpsons reruns in whatever capacity I could became tradition. I still do to this day, even if it’s just online now. It’s become sort of a comfort show, it’s that familiar to me.

Plus, there’s the Movie, and games (The Simpsons Hit and Run is so much better than it has any right to be)—I even wrote an essay on The Simpsons back in high school. 

It’s just been the huge, life-long love for me that will never truly end because of how much it shaped me as a person (as silly as that sounds).

#1. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Shock! Awe! Everyone is stunned! People never would’ve seen this coming if they know me… 

Alright, so I’m predictable (I prefer the term “reliable” but considering how long it took to get this list out…), but it’s strangely so well-suited to everything I love. This entire section is full of personal reasons.

There’s fantastic characters to love (and obsess over); a heart-warming, light-hearted, cute, and ultimately loving tone that’s inexplicably never too saccharine even when it by all means should be; a fascinating fantasy world to dive into; a remarkable at times Disney-esque musical element; an eye-pleasingly soft animation style; an unashamed love of puns—I mean I could actually go on about this for a full year.

I really, really could… over on my main blog (sorry for the self-promo, but it’s relevant).

Year of the Pony, MLP Editorials (which are a big part of YotP)

I’ve dedicated this entire year to talking about My Little Pony in an event I’m calling Year of the Pony. There’s so far been something pretty much every week, themes for every month—I love this show a lot you guys. I really, really do.

That really is the reason I’m doing this event. I’ve been a fan of this show for five, going on six years, and it somehow became my favourite show of all time, even when there are shows out there that I think are objectively better. I’m trying to dissect why that is bit by bit.

For instance, here’s an upcoming two-parter:

These two characters are sisters, and long story short, one was forced to send the other to the moon. This was a story that introduced the series in the first two episodes, and has since been explored by the fandom in every way imaginable. So I have to ask questions that’ll give me a way to talk about how much and why I love this particular story element.

It’s not the greatest tragedy out there, sure, but I’ve seriously gotta figure out why this has struck such a chord with me, you know? 

Obnoxious self-promos aside, I really did fall and fall hard for this series I think because it was still unassuming by the time I got to it. The was a fandom, sure, but I didn’t know what to expect (whether these “bronies” were just using it for memes and liking it ironically or what), and that made it a genuine discovery for me. 

And it’s that very unassuming, unpretentious sweetness that continues to make me love it, even though it’s made a few mistakes along the way. I don’t think it’s a perfect series, but it’s definitely perfect for me. And what more could I ask for in a favourite show?

But that’s just my list. Feel free to tell my some of your favourites or take up the challenge to put out your own list and send it my way! Show me how much better your taste is than mine!

[ecotone99]

[MF] Gone Songs #02 The Rainmakers

Marco holds on to the small, velvet box; hesitating before passing it over. "You won't drop it?" he asks.

"Look, just because I showed up late-"

"-for my wedding-"

"-for your wedding-"

"-and you're my best man-"

"-Gah! Such pressure!" I fumble with the cummerbund, turning it until it was centered over my belly. Or at least close enough. "It wasn't my fault. My mom hasn't set the clocks forward for daylight savings time yet-"

"-which should have been done weeks ago-" Marco tugs my cummerbund to it's just right position.

"-yeah, you know how she is. Anyway, I'm here now." I hold out my hand, palm down. "Look. Steady as a rock."

Marco moves to give me the ring. I make the hand shake wildly.

"Oops," I fling it behind my back. "Try this one," I offer my other hand, palm up.

Marco sighs. He places the box in my hand.

"Let's go."

***

Luckily, we make it to the church in time and I am able to stand next to my best friend as he marries his High School sweetheart. No, really, she is still in High School. Seventeen years old. Marco, the man himself, only nineteen.

Too young, some would say. Most would say. But they don't know Marco like I do. The earth will turn, the sun will rise, God will rule in heaven, and Marco will be married to this one woman - girl, now, but woman soon enough - for the rest of their long, fruitful lives.

Such certainty. It is more than I deserve, being counted among those to witness the event. And I surely don't deserve the honor of standing at the groom's right hand, holding the ring. Well, I suppose that's another advantage of having grown up in a small Kansas town. No competition. I didn't have to be that good to be a best man.

***

After the ceremony, chaos. Pictures are wanted, names are shouted out; flashbulbs and laughter, hugs and handshakes. During a lull, I'm called to the parking-lot for a consultation.

"What do you think?" Don asks. He and a crew of helpers stand next to the honeymoon car - a workhorse wood-paneled station wagon; 'Just Married' soaped on the rear window and a dozen empty soda cans tied to the bumper.

"Great," I say. "Fine." Then, as I get closer and look in the window, I see a scattering of popcorn over the front seat.

"What's that?"

"That's a prank. You know, fill the car up with popcorn so...."

"Funny," I agree, "But don't you think there should be more? That's, like, not a lot of popcorn." In truth, the front seat doesn't look any worse than having taken a sharp turn with a bag of old movie theater 'corn riding shotgun.

Don shrugs.

I get money from my wallet and tell him, "Go to Wal-Mart. They sell those big bags of the stuff for cheap. You know what I'm talking about? Looks like garbage bags? Sometimes cheesy flavored; or caramel? Get as many as you can."

Don grabs some friends and they hurry away. Robert, one of Marco's younger brothers, stands by my side. "That's going to be messy," he says.

I laugh. "Yeah."

"Shouldn't you stop that sort of thing?"

"What?"

"You're the best man. Shouldn't you stop them from doing that?"

I look at Robert for a moment. "I don't know," is my honest answer.

***

The reception. I'm introduced to one of the bridesmaids - a pretty redhead named Anne, and we dance. We dance goofy in a group. We dance slow together. We talk about the bride and groom. We talk about ourselves. She's studying management at K-State. I've moved south, to attend the University of Houston where the temperature is more apropos for a young man ready to set the world on fire.

During a break, I leave her with friends to fetch refreshments. Since everybody in the wedding party is underage, drink choices are Sprite and Coke.

Sprite or Coke....

While making the decision, I hear a voice behind me say, "Decline and fall."

I turn. Christine Kohler stands there, dressed to the nines, smile beaming, blonde hair done fancy in a way I'd never seen on her before.

"Fall down baby!" I say, finishing the lyrics of a song that had somehow become our special salutation. I grab her in a hug.

We laugh. We hold each other at arm's length. "Look at you," I say. Chrisy Kohler, my High School running buddy, almost unrecognizable now with that blown-out hair and wearing an honest-to-goodness dress. Never a petite girl, the freshman fifteen strains the silky yellow fabric in nice places, as well as around her middle. The dress' neck line is much, much lower than her usual wardrobe of sweatshirts and Ts.

"A lot more of me, right?"

"Fornicate that. You look great."

"You clean up pretty good yourself."

"Where have you been? I didn't see you during the ceremony, or the dance."

"No surprise. You looked like you were going to pass out from the pressure of having to stand still for an hour. Anyway, I was in the back, with the cool kids."

I lean in. She smells of cigarettes. Chrisy smirks. "And we cool kids tend to hang out in the parking-lot during these John Barleycorn Must Die Baptists shin-digs. You know how it is."

"Yeah, I know how it is."

"Besides." Chrisy hip-checks me hard enough that I have to steady myself against the drink table. "You're doing alright without me." She motions across the room towards Anne who is huddled with a group of girls, all of them eyeballing me while smiling and giggling into their hands.

"Can you pop the collar of a tuxedo?" I ask, giving it a try. "I feel as if I should pop my collar."

Chirsy makes the judgment call. "Perfect! Looks absolutely stupid."

I become Elvis. "Uh hunka hunka," I mumble, pelvis suddenly on a swivel, index fingers pointing nowhere in particular.

Chrisy goes upside my head. "Fool." Then, with her hand still on my back, she moves in front of me; face to face. Close. Intimate. I'm tall; we're almost eye-to-eye. A big girl. She places her other hand behind my neck and, with a caress, fixes the collar.

"You haven't changed," she says. Her pretty face, inches from mine, tilts slightly. "And in a way that's very sad." She smiles ruefully.

"Now." She steps back and slaps my tux into shape. "Get over there before Red realizes what a big mistake she's making."

I make a derisive noise. "She can wait. I'm not done talking with you."

"Yes you are." Chrisy grabs a two liter bottle from the table. "Besides, I'm due back at the parking-lot. There's some very important rum waiting for coke.... Er. I mean, there's some very important people waiting for me." She backs away, doing the Queen of England hand-wave.

"Hey," I call out. "Don't leave without saying goodbye."

Then she's gone.

***

The popcorn thing is a disaster. Never quick to anger, Marco has always been more of the slow-burn type, so I can see his temperature rise by degrees as he circles the station wagon. Through the car's windows, nothing but popcorn. Crammed to the roof. Marco opens the passenger's side causing an avalanche of the greasy stuff. Gloria, his young bride, moves to avoid having it cover her shoes. Water fills her eyes, threatening to spill over.

The gathered crowd laughs and hoots, maybe a little nervous because just popcorn might have been a good gag; but this greasy, buttery Wal-Mart gunk is well over the line. Nevertheless, we can't let the night end on a bad note so we move into action. Girls swarm Gloria, cooing comfort, while us boys start shoveling. We get enough of it off the seats, but the residue is something else entirely. Marco's worried about his rented tuxedo and Gloria's dress. I rather suspect you could toast a marshmallow over his head by now.

There are blankets in the trunk of my car. We use them to cover the seats. Marco's grumbling about irreparable damage, but it’s been a long day. Time to go.

We have a moment alone, away from the crowd. I congratulate him. Shake his hand. This is my best friend. We've gone to school together for twelve years. Since kindergarten, actually. I can't remember a time when we didn't know and like each other. Soccer leagues, camping; building things, tearing things down. Bad movies and video games. Cars and girls. Between Marco and I, all the mysteries of the universe have been discussed and settled. And we aren't even twenty years old.

I let go his hand. I'll never be part of another friendship like this one.

We make no plans. He's off to start a life. I'm gone to Texas. We'll see each other again, maybe.

I say goodbye to the best part of my childhood one more time. Maybe the last time.

And he's a little pissed. And I'm more than a little guilty.

***

I still have a few days before leaving town, so I get redhead Anne's number and we make a date for tomorrow night. She gives me a quick hug then rushes away to catch up with friends. Heh. Pop that collar, son.

Brooms and trash cans are found. I help clean the offensive popcorn off the ground. Some night birds squawk, but we're doing them a favor. Eating that stuff will kill you!

The party has ended. The reception hall is closing. I'm jawing with stragglers in the lobby, all of us unwilling to call it quits. Management has to chase us out.

Magical nights like this don't happen often, so it feels odd just leaving when it's over.

But a surprise waits for me in the parking-lot. Chrisy has parked her El Camino next to my K-Car and is sitting on the lowered gate, smoking a cigarette with a plastic cup in hand, a black leather jacket draped over her shoulders against the chill.

I laugh at the sight. She motions for me to sit next to her. "What?" she asks.

"You look so dangerous. Like the women momma warned me about." I perch myself on the gate, bumping her butt with mine as I settle.

"Watch it." She holds her cup high to prevent it from spilling.

There are a number of brown grocery bags behind us. I rummage through them and grab the first bottle I find. Triple Sec. Disgusting. Almost undrinkable unless mixed with something. Almost.

"Do you mind?" I take a cup and prepare to pour.

Chrisy arches an eyebrow. She blows smoke out the corner of her mouth.

I freeze. Waiting for approval. "Well?"

"You don't drink," she says.

"Lies!" I roar. "Slander and lies!"

She shrugs. I pour. I offer my cup for a toast. Slowly, reluctantly, she taps it with her own. "To Marco and Gloria," I say. Then gulp huge.

Chrisy sips.

When my breath returns, I ask, "What's the matter?"

After a moment, she repeats, "You don't drink, Virgil. I've never seen you drink."

"To be fair, Chrisy, there are many things you've never seen me do."

"Yeah. Thank God for that. But Virgil? You don't drink."

True to a point. I didn't drink in High School. And, because Chrisy knows me so well, she knows why. I come from a long line of alcoholics. Functional, but drunks nonetheless. Indeed, alcoholism broke up my family's home. I'm sure at some point in our long and cherished friendship I had told Chrisy that I would never drink because I didn't want to wind up like that. Broken.

However, moving away to college taught me a lot of new and interesting things about being broken. I had assumed booze was a wrecking ball, but it's not. It's a needle. And if used properly it can stitch you back together. Or close enough.

"Skip it," I say. "Talk to me. Hey, you still see Jeff? What's going on with him?"

"No." Chrisy shakes her head. "Nope. You talk to me. What happened? You used to be so.... Jesus Christ about drinking."

"Actually, Jesus drank like a fish-"

"-Virgil-"

"-Wine, but you had to back then. Water was full of dinosaur piss-"

"-I'm serious, Virg. What happened?"

I look away. Then I laugh. "What the hell, Chrisy? Who are you...? I mean, you're not exactly the temperance union sitting there."

"Here," she hands me her cup. "Drink."

"What?"

She glares. I obey. It's coke. Just coke.

"So?" I ask. "You're slowing down. That's just smart drinking, taking a break every once and awhile."

"No, Virgil, it's been coke all night. I stopped drinking years ago. I just pretend because.... Because I want to fit in. That never bothered you, though. You always stood your ground. I remember how they used to pressure you then make fun of you at parties when you wouldn't drink. How you always turned it around, made them look stupid. I admired you for that."

"Chrisy...,"

"Now look at you. Straight Triple Sec? Oh, Virgil. What the hell happened?"

**\*

What happened? I met a girl. She broke my heart. Now I drink. You want it expanded? Her name was Shubra, born in Indian, and about the most exotic, beautiful thing I'd ever seen. And before you say it, yes, I guess I did have to go to a foreign country to get laid.

Okay. I'm going to stop doing that. Joking, always joking. Neither of us deserve it.

It wasn't just looks, she had an enormous personality. She was fearless. And smart. Effortlessly smart. She aced every class without ever cracking a book.

But she was damaged. Abused. She could be reckless, borderline suicidal.

I thought I could save her. With love.

Oh, right. I said I would stop joking. Mea culpa.

She was my first, and I, hers. Later I would have good reason to examine everything she said for a lie, but not that. Never that. It was obvious.

I asked her to married me. She smiled for an answer.

Once, before I left campus to spend a holiday with my brother in Louisiana, she told me she was pregnant. Again, I proposed marriage. I didn't even get a smile that time.

When I returned, she claimed to have had an abortion. I asked no details, none were forthcoming.

Things got worse between us, then better, then worse; and so forth.

During one of the bad times, she came to my room. She stripped without saying a word. She started in on me and I reciprocated. I could tell it was wrong, her head was wrong. She was angry, cold, insistent. She was so wrong, but still I tried to make it right. God help me, I tried harder to make it right at that moment than I've ever tried to do anything else in my life. More, I know, than I ever will.

When it was over, she quit the bed and dressed with her back towards me. She might have left as she entered - smoldering and silent. But she didn't. She turned said something she shouldn't have.

I flew at her. I grabbed her. I pinned her to the bed. Ridiculous in my nakedness, I straddled her and forced her down with hands full of murder.

And the look on her face.... The scornful, dead-eyed look on her face....

It's a picture you can't forget. The best you can do is to keep washing it with alcohol until it fades.

***

"I grew up," I answer Chrisy, reaching for a refill.

She waits until I've poured and drank then says, "That's it?"

We lock eyes. "Pretty much."

Time passes. I look away first.

"I guess you have changed," Chrisy says, pushing herself off the gate. "And it is sad."

"Where are you going?"

"Home. It's late."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"Chrisy, come on. This?" I upturn my cup, splattering booze all over the pavement. "It's no big deal."

"I know. I'm just tired. Can you please get off so I can close the gate?

I oblige, closing it for her. "Well, I'm still in town a few days. Did you want...?"

"No. I can't. I'm leaving tomorrow." She checks her watch. "Today."

"Okay." I step aside so she can get in the driver's seat. Before she closes the door, I say, "So... Bye?"

"Yeah. Bye."

The door shuts. The ignition fires. She hooks an elbow over the seat to reverse out of the parking spot. Once the grill is pointed towards home, she gives me one last look.

"Hey!" I say, loud enough to be heard over the engine and through the closed window. "Decline and fall!"

She drives away, shaking her head.

End

Blame this on anonymity, plausible deniability, and the void that degrades quality. Which is a shame because The Rainmakers deserve better. Well. It had to be done. No other band comes close to having the same impact or being as important to me as The Rainmakers. They were the soundtrack to the best years of my life. So many memories associated with their songs.... Tch. My drama teacher told me she'd 'hung out with' (implication: dated) one of the band members at KU. "The drummer," she'd said, "Pat, I think." and I couldn't keep my puppy eyes off her after that. Picture me laying on my belly on the school's stage, ankles crossed, chin resting in entwined fingers; "Tell me more about him, Ms. Scovill. He smelled nice, right?" And if Rich Ruth ever sees me coming, he'd better turn the other way because I played bass guitar in a college band and I'll become Annie Wilkes on him so fast. There's no telling what I'd sledgehammer just to get him reminiscing about Doo Dad. (I thought a Rich Ruth solo album might be a good idea, then I heard Dogleg off Monster Movie and I now know it to be a necessity).

Anyway. They deserve better than this pitiful little story, but I had to get it out there and it's the best I can do. The remaining Gone Songs won't be so contemplative.

submitted by /u/virgiltempleton [link] [comments] via Blogger http://bit.ly/2LPOnNp

[captaingardening100-blog]

Gardening becomes healing with horticultural therapy

New Post has been published on https://gardenguideto.com/must-see/gardening-becomes-healing-with-horticultural-therapy-2/

Gardening becomes healing with horticultural therapy

(CNN)It’s a warm, sunny morning in Tony Wright’s lush backyard in Roswell, Georgia. The retired human-resources manager sits on a folding chair and gazes around in contemplation, surrounded by shade trees and chirping birds. He sips coffee and reads from his 12-step program book, “Daily Reflections.” Then he takes a slow walk through his garden, observing how his plants are doing and what they might need.

This is how Wright begins every morning. It’s a routine the youthful-looking 68-year-old began after years of struggling with addiction. He starts to pot petunias, digging his large hands into the soil and pouring water from a watering can to nourish the transplant.

“Even if I’m just watering a plant or trimming a bush, it just gets me in touch with nature, and I try to listen to what nature’s trying to tell me that morning,” Wright said.

“It makes me feel lighter. Depression made me feel very heavy.”

Four years ago, Wright was introduced to “horticultural therapy” while in treatment at a mental health center called Skyland Trail in Atlanta.

Horticultural therapy is a professional practice that uses plants and gardening to improve mental and physical health. A horticultural therapist works with any group that can benefit from interaction with plants, including veterans, children, the elderly and those dealing with addiction and mental health problems.

“I was having severe issues with depression and alcoholism, and they were taking quite a toll on my life, quite a toll on my family and relationships,” Wright said.

Nearly every day for three months, Wright spent time in Skyland’s greenhouse.

“I was introduced to a situation where it’s like, ‘can you do flower arranging? Can you repot plants, and can you prune plants?’ I said, ‘Well, I’ll try it.’ “

“It was therapy, and I didn’t know it was therapy. No one was sitting down saying, ‘OK, now we’re in therapy, and here is what we do,’ ” he said. “When I’m touching a plant … it’s a very calming experience.

“It was really, really a godsend for me.”

The mental and physical benefits of nature

Horticultural therapy is rooted in the idea that interacting with plants can bring about well-being, whether it’s tending a garden or just having plants in your home.

Many studies have found that just being in nature — such as taking a walk through a garden, a park, a forest — can improve not only your state of mind but your blood pressure, your heart rate and your stress hormone levels and, over time, can lead to a longer life.

But taking care of a plant or a garden with guidance from a therapist goes a step further.

The clients “are the caretakers, and that’s an important role for people who are on the receiving end of medical care,” said Joel Flagler, a professor of horticultural therapy at Rutgers University.

Studies have found that horticultural therapy supports recovery and improves mood, resulting in shorter stays for many populations, such as mental health facilities and hospitals.

One study Flagler cites out of Rutgers looked at the impact of Japanese gardens on a group of Alzheimer’s patients.

“Patients with advanced dementia were seen to have greatly improved short-term memory retention after a horticulture session,” Flagler said. “Some of the participants remembered the chirping sound of a cricket in the garden almost two weeks after the event.”

What we can learn from plants

When CNN visited Skyland Trail in June, a group of 20-somethings were gathered in the greenhouse as horticultural therapist Libba Shortridge excitedly pointed out how a seed’s journey into a plant parallels the recovery process for those with mental health issues.

As she spoke, she drew on a dry-erase board. “Come winter, when things are dormant and nature sheds its leaves, it looks like there’s no hope. There actually is,” Shortridge said.

“Seeds have these cool internal clocks that tell them when they can bust open and form roots!

“What do you need to grow? Sun, water, confidence, courage!”

A participant added, “patience!!”

Shortridge echoed, “Patience! I love it!”

The group then took seeds into their hands and planted them in one of Skyland’s many gardens. Birds chirped overhead, and a cool breeze blew through.

Shortridge pointed out how the sun filtered through the leaves like a projector, creating designs on the grass. “Do y’all notice the pattern?”

Observing is a big part of the therapy.

One young man read the Serenity Prayer after a planting. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Gardening also has physical benefits, such as increased hand-eye coordination and finger flexion.

There’s the lifting of soil, “digging with shovels and standing for increasingly long periods of time, which helps their balance, especially when they’re walking down to the garden carrying a tool,” Flagler said.

“Often, our clients are sure that their seeds won’t grow. But as the seed germinates, as a seedling develops, it proves to the individual that their actions made a difference. As the plant thrives, it builds self-esteem, it builds confidence, and it makes the person feel like it’s their success.”

Helping those in wheelchairs, special needs

And for those in wheelchairs, container and box gardening brings the soil and plants to the level they need. Extender tools help them reach, and horticultural therapists teach them how to use the tools.

Rachel Cochran started the Atlanta nonprofit Trellis Horticultural Therapy Alliance after her daughter was hit by a car, causing a traumatic brain injury.

The horticultural therapist found that there weren’t many opportunities in the city for special-needs students to access special gardens.

The Georgia Tech grad got a grant to help her daughter’s school create a sensory garden that students in wheelchairs can access.

It’s not built yet, so for now, she brings nature to the classroom.

“We bring in flowers. We make homemade birdseed so they can put their hands in a big bucket of seeds. We bring in pine cones, mosses, bright flowers, yellow and red. We put a bird feeder right on the window,” Cochran said. Not only is it stimulating for the students, she said, “it’s also boosting the mental state and health of the teachers. Being caretakers can be very mundane and repetitive.”

Today, she has multiple projects across the city, including a garden next to an elder residence high-rise where she works with a small group of seniors, planting, tending and tasting.

An ‘ancient bond’

“Plants are unique in that they offer sensory stimulation,” said Flagler, who is also the agricultural extension agent for Bergen County, New Jersey. “Fragrance, texture, taste and sound,” like leaves rustling in the wind and bamboo creaking.

Flagler says plants reward the individual with change: a new leaf, a new fruit, a new flower, fragrance.

He points out that humans evolved in a green world with plants over millions of years. Trees and vegetation have always provided us food, medicine and shelter. “People and plants share an ancient bond.

“Now, we’re able to use that people-plant connection for therapy and rehabilitation.”

For prison populations, Flagler says, there are reduced recidivism rates among inmates who participate in horticultural therapy programs. In part, the program teaches “green skills” so that people can learn a trade.

“I work closely with the landscape industry. If we can get that young person to feel like they have a green thumb — propagating, pruning — then they can get a job.”

Some universities, including Colorado State University and Rutgers, offer degrees in horticultural therapy.

Other schools offer concentrations through their horticulture programs and certificates through the American Horticultural Therapy Association.

Giving back

In his lush backyard in Georgia, Tony Wright says that working in a garden helps him realize he’s part of something much bigger. His daily struggles seem diminished.

See the latest news and share your comments with CNN Health on Facebook and Twitter.

Wright now volunteers at Skyland Trail, his old stomping grounds, and in other programs across the South.

“The garden is a living thing. So it has its own flow. Sun comes up; the sun goes down. Plant responds to light; it responds to darkness. We do the same thing,” Wright said.

“The plant goes to sleep at night. What’s my rest protocol look like? Am I up to 3 o’clock in the morning, or do I get a good night’s rest?”

Read more: http://edition.cnn.com/

[keywestlou]

MORNING STEW #6

A number of significant topics today beginning with my yesterday and then into the world. I generally share the topics in some sort of order. On a day like this it would add an hour to the blog. No time today. I have been at it 2.5 hours gathering the information. Started at 6:30. Need to be done by 11.

So I present you with a Morning Stew. Number 6.

Cath scan time yesterday in the hospital. My appointment was for 1. Did not get taken till 2:30. Thought they were taking another look at my aortic stenosis. Nurse told me order sheet indicated aortic aneurysm. Bothered me. I have known for several years about the aneurysm. Do not think about it. Now it is back in my thought process.

Had to fast for the Cath scan. Was hungry following the test. Back to Harpoon Harry’s. Wednesday is Thanksgiving turkey day. I enjoyed a complete turkey meal.

When last in friday, I forgot to tip the waitress. Embarrassing. First thing I did when I arrived yesterday was to find her and give her a $5 bill. She was grateful, but said she actually did not remember me nor that I failed to tip her.

Whatever, I have made a friend for life.

The waitress actually waiting on me was Allana. European born, she has been in the U.S. 30 years. Twenty seven in Aspen. The last 3 in Key West. Knows how to pick her spots to live!

The time sitting around the hospital waiting for the Cath scan gave me time to finish Becoming Michelle Obama. I enjoyed reading it. Recommend you read it.

Nothing fantastic about the book. It is merely the step by step progression of Michelle’s life from her birth in South Chicago to retirement now following the White House. A modest work. Personal. Like Barrack still leaves his dirty socks on the floor.

Today, a haircut at noon with Lori. Lunch. The Farmers Market at Bayview Park for a special bread and tomatoes that are softer than the rocks available at Publix.

I am looking forward to this evening. Dinner at the home of Larry and Cindy. A couple I have visited with 2 years in a row at the Chart Room. They are from Ontario, Canada. Have a second home on the golf course.

Cindy is cooking.

I have a special affinity to Cindy. She is a loyal blog follower.

I will not be appearing with Laurie Thibault this afternoon on her radio show. Traffic is so heavy this time of year that I would be late for dinner. Tune in however. Laurie needs no help. A born natural for radio. Station 107.5 FM, WGAY FM.

Sex and the Catholic Church. Back in the limelight. Today the beginning of a conference of Bishops. A Sex Abuse Prevention Summit at the Vatican. Pope Francis presiding.

The problem an open wound.

The issues will center around gay priests, secret rules, and the abuse of nuns.

A dynamite conference in the making!

Trump has nominated Jeffrey Rosen to be Deputy Attorney General. He will be the #2 person in the Justice Department.

His only connection to the law is that he is a Harvard law grad. Never worked in criminal prosecution. No police background of any kind.

Why? Of what value will he be? I fear another Trump step in trying to destroy the Department of Justice.

Tired last night. Watched Syracuse/Louisville at 7 from home. Syracuse won decisively 69-49.

A great game!

Next #1 Duke on saturday at the Carrier Dome. Syracuse beat Duke 2 weeks ago on Duke’s home court. Duke was #1 at the time, also.

There is a gluttony overtaking college sports.

I watched part of the Duke/North Carolina game following the Syracuse one. Obama was there. No seats available. A huge sell out.

Certain seats were going for $2,600 each. Super Bowl prices. It was announced that 4 seats at the Syracuse/Duke game saturday will be selling for $3,500 each.

College ball? Professional ball?

There is a drive underway to pay college athletes. In addition to free tuition, room and board. The argument is they are making their schools rich.

The day is coming. Very soon. I don’t like it. Something wrong with paying college athletes especially after they are getting a free ride to a college education.

Iran recently publicly hung a 31 year old man for being gay. Seventy one countries have criminalized homosexuality. Eight of them call for the death penalty.

In Iran, gays as young as 9 can be put to death. And they are.

Lesbians included.

Now comes Donald Trump to lead the battle to end the criminalization of homosexuality across the globe. Announced yesterday. He says he will launch a campaign and lead the cause.

Something irregular here. Trump goes out of his way in the U.S. to do whatever he can to hurt the gay community. He is anti LGBT. His most recent action to prevent transgenders from being in the military.

Hypocrisy? You better believe it.

I can remember John L. Lewis. He was a big man in union work in the 1930’s through 1950’s. A huge man with bushy eyebrows.He was CEO of the Congress of Industrial Organizations and President of the United Mine Workers.

An autocrat in his work. Tough guy similar to Trump. A liar, also. He was described during his time as the most experienced truth-twisting wind bag ever produced in the U.S.

Possessed brass testicles. He called a coal strike during World War II.

I mention Lewis today because on this day in 1940 he was a guest at the Casa Marina.

Cemetery stroll sunday. The Key West Cemetery. The history of our island carved into the stones. Always a crowd. Reservations required. Three starting times 9:30 to 10:10. A $20 donation requested.

I love the cemetery. One of the best stones reads: “I Told You I Was Sick.”

Washington Post columnist Reuben Navarrette in a recent article wrote about Trump, El Paso, and his lies.

Trump was in El Paso this past week pushing the border wall/barrier, whatever it is called. He claimed El Paso had one of the highest crime rates in the U.S. till a wall was built on their border. The problem is El Paso was never a high crime city. Before, during or after the wall was built.

Typical Trump exaggeration, lie.

Navarrette wrote  that Trump “…..since his days selling real estate in Manhattan, has never let the truth interfere with a good pitch. The PT Barnum of Fifth Avenue used to attempt to convince people that the Trump Tower had ten more floors than it really did.”

He continued, “Trump doesn’t just sell steak, or the sizzle. He can get by with just selling you the thought of a steak. That’s a gift folks.”

It’s the nature of the beast, folks!

U.S. Coast Guard Lt. Christopher Paul Hasan has been arrested. A white supremacist interested in terrorist attacks. Leading them himself. Against the U.S. government.

His intent to kill members of Congress and the media. As part of a purpose to create a white homeland. Among those designated for elimination were Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, Joe Scarborough, and John Podesta.

In a draft of an e-mail authorities recovered, Hasan wrote: “Much blood will have to be spilled to get whitey off the couch.”

The U.S. worries about terrorism coming at us from the Middle East. We fail to have any significant concern with the terrorism on our shores lying in silence ready to attack. Our efforts must be directed at them also.

I end with Karl Marx. Author of the Communist Manifesto. Written in collaboration with Frederich Engels. Published this day in 1848.

The Manifesto was slow to take hold. However by 1950, half the world’s population lived under Communism.

Marx’s closing words in the Manifest set forth marching orders for those to become his followers: “The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Workers of the world, unite.”

Enjoy your day!

  MORNING STEW #6 was originally published on Key West Lou

[apexart-journal]

Radha Gomaty in NYC Day 16

Washington

Schedule meant finding my way to the National Mall and looking for all kinds of monuments &memorials  that had been listed out to me to visit. As things stood  I was already quite late finding my way to my hotel , settling in and getting out again finding my way in the Washington  Metro .

What hit most in Washington are the interminable distances ,not quite friendly for a walker. It’s not even actually just the issue of distances but the fact that the scale is not human scale as in NYC.

You could ask me who am I kidding !

“NYC with its skyscrapers … human scale ,huh?we sure have heard that Love is blind ,baby …but this one hits a new high!”

No, Not that really .What i meant is this - down there on the road things are placed closer together .Even the skyscrapers that are all infinitely vertical than horizontal take up less space on the ground and are all  closely set together at a fair level of the eye.

Our (“Our ,eh?!this woman who is ‘inbound from South Eroor’ in all her hash tagged posts on the apexart journal on Tumblr says ‘our ‘ for NYC’s roads now? Wow!”) roads are narrower too ,and so yes,infinitely and comfortingly ,more crowded.

It is also a question of layout-No friendly corner pharmacies, No small eateries  spread out over the place but only in specialized pockets almost .One can  walk  blocks and blocks without catching sight of even one.

The overwhelming feeling was that one was staying in an overly manicured ,scaled up picture postcard park.

That feeling was certainly heightened on reaching the National Mall, a huge sprawling over sized lawn spread over several football fields.

I haven’t really worn shoes & socks since was in school a few decades ago and I always hated socks because my feet perspire.

Already  having tasted the pleasures of kicking off my shoes the previous evening with the feisty Elizabeth Larison, who was assigned to guide me on a walking tour over the old Brooklyn Foot Bridge that being really old was still actually paved with timber  , I decided to do an encore.

So peeling off and  rolling up my socks together in one  grey woolly smelly ball stuffed into the innards of my bag and my walking shoes , tied firmly by their laces hanging to either side from the handle of my grossly overstuffed shoulder tote that was already weighing me down enough, I set off .

Sole and Soul sang a sweet duet.

Ah bliss! to walk with soles bared on the cool lawns , the gritty gravel , the textured earth …

It was like going back to my nine month barefoot existence when i was 17 year old undergrad Design student in NID, Ahmedabad when I gave up the use of footwear  for  nine months for some abstruse reasons related to Gandhi ,Thoreau, altering the feel of being or some such thing and also to cut the sheer bother to have to take off my footwear each time I chose to walk the grass and not the foot walks!

So the walk turned some other way .It was no longer about dragging myself across  Memorials .

Memorials and the insight that physical Memory too is essentially a construct came with the passing of a much loved One.

The whole process of Memory has been a personal journey as well for me over the past some months and days.

Being an artist is also about inhabiting that State of Being that glows up in rare moments of incandescence that total self absorbed engagement  evokes .

Inhabiting such a Form of Being in itself is the first and most primal Form of Art .It is infinitely easier for a creative spirit to understand that History, and every other story for that matter even our own autobiographical ones, is just  one thread amongst a hundred odd possible others by which these glowing beads are sought to be strung together ,’made sense of ‘. We have this inner compulsion to arrange and order things into Time and duration .We are conditioned to  simply not be content with the moments in themselves .We cannot leave these moments be in their singular ,pristine ,self born glory and have to compulsively tinker with their glorious This -ness …

The  notion of Time was invented in this itch -like tinkering .

Is it not the notion of Time that births the illusion of Gap  between a thought and its fruition,an action and its reaction?The inventor of Postponement?I n fact ,isn’t Time the Serpent in the Garden of Now that invented Desire because in the very notion of Desire is inbuilt the notion of Postponement?

NOW is raw .

It wears no clothes and in the upsurge of its sheer incandescence it scalds all masks &clothes away.

That is why in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit ,Adam & Eve.teh notion of clothes entered the picture alongside the notion of shame &guilt & fear & sin.

But in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit, the notion Labor too was born and brows that knew not what sweat was or hands the need for the intermediary of a tool became callused and worn because Hunger was born too as a postponement between the need for Nourishment and its fulfillment .In  the cool white intensity of Satya yuga(or the Eon of Truth ,the first of the four described in Indian scriptures  Light can assume a life form with just the meeting of the intensities of intentions  bypassing the messier commingling of physical bodies.

But in the aftermath of the serpent’s visit,instead of the bliss of a play like fluidity of boundaries that can shift and change at will,Sex, now reduced to a specific  act between two kinds of bodies designed for the purpose    entered the scene .Birth  now entailed the processuality of a prolonged Pregnancy & Labor…    

As the Buddha observed succinctly-Things compounded tend to fall apart  . So it is with History  as well which is a composing  or threading by the string of a chosen strand of whatever narrative that serves best the pre defined purpose at hand ,the many moments of a collective existence together .In administrative interest it is important to keep certain narratives stronger  and more compelling than others are .

This can be created  through frequent repetition one over the other like the devices of chorus in music or alliteration in poetry  .Overlaying it with sentiment and other sensory cues  that can be triggered then easily by the slightest suggestion later by which the needle correctly falls in ,running through and playing out what has been already  etched in through repetition through the grooves  as Habit.

Of course some moments are always there , the sort that poets swoop on with the alacrity of falcons ,that do not quite jell with the chosen  main narrative .These are easily dealt with the oft used devices of omission usually by   ignoring and  passing over in silence .If that doesn’t work ,then by  invoking processes of demonization that lead to the convenience of a Graveyard  like silence once Taboo  buries it under one of its its leaden headstones.  

Some moments of the inaasimilable-as-they-are may lend themselves to some  photoshopping (tweaking).Which also works to build the edifice of Memory& Memorials …

Oh Well.

Whatever .

Perhaps that is why whenever i encounter a proliferation of memorials in one place a pinch of salt immediately finds its place between my thumb and forefinger .Well and truly ,I dont know how it gets there .But that pinch of salt  is what carries me safely through all the machines of history making without getting unduly caught in any of its busily grinding teeth.

The Washington Obelisk Tower has great light effects with the sun breaking out through the gathering clouds. A man from the Philippines and I helped each other snap the customary  “I have arrived.Look at me!” portrait-before-famous-monument scrapbook memory shots.

I am supposed to cover an impossibly high number of memorials in this one evening walk -the Vietnam memorial ,the t World war 2 Memorial,the Martin Luther King Memorial, The Lincoln Memorial  and if possible ,also the Thomas Jefferson Memorial across the River.On the way I notice plenty of museums as well  .Two suddenly draw me to them with that light visceral tug that always is a right indication that there is something in there for me . They were  the Museums of Asian Art in America and The  Museum of African Art.

No time to enter and it is almost closing time anyway .

I’ve a schedule to cover,you see!

(the schedule  !the schedule! oh… the schedule!)

It is already getting late into the evening.

I hear strains of music far away and somehow feel that following it will lead me to Martin Luther King’s memorial and decide to follow the sensations in my feet and in my ears.

On the way I see a sunken plaza of fountains,cascading streams with a pool in the centre and scores of people taking pictures around them .This is the World War Two memorial.

I walk through it skirting the crowds and continue my engagement with bare feet upon earth till I at last see the source of the music far away in what looks like a rather severe Greco-Roman looking structure.

A revelry is on on there in complete contrast with the mood of the building itself . I go closer and see the band playing .Playing is not the word .They  are rocking ,belting out lively Latin American Music  to which all kinds of human bodies-youngsters,hipsters, teenagers,school kids,senior citizens , folks in their middle years, all kinds of couples from various nationalities and sexual orientations are flowing together in  a River of revelry.

Ol’ man Lincoln meanwhile looks on with his rather saturnine expression  from atop his stone throne set high on the many tiered stone steps at the saturnalia there in uninhibited progress.

I choose not to climb up the steps and read speeches but weave my way through the infinitely more interesting human throng.

I have been walking nonstop so long I think it is wisdom to calculate the distance that I have to walk back now and  turn to retrace my steps .

Half way through as i walk the cold breeze gathers strength  ,the darkness deepens .Walking endlessly i find myself in line again with the Washington obelisk where I began my barefoot sojourn and the gathering rainclouds begin to pour  .

A true New Yorker & and a true  Keralite have one thing in common  -a handy all season umbrella in the bag at all times to brandish against all inhospitable weather.

It looks like I am the only one on National Mall with an umbrella.

Well,I looked around and I realize ,with or without umbrella .I am perhaps  the only one left in the National  Mall!

I sing out loud in the rain splashing little puddles as I walk…Bob Marley,Louis armstrong ,the songs of Ella what have you in my best possible jazz imitation voice.

The Red brick  Cathedral  that I had passed earlier rises to view on my right .For a moment I have this urge to enter and kneel in silent prayer in one of the old wooden pews in the high domed interior I imagine hung over with paintings&chandeliers  .

Its entrance  up  a flight of stairs was however cloaked with ink dark shadow. I put out only one tentative indecisive foot to the right in a step when something  stirs in the dark and calls out in a low male voice .A glint of eyes: “Hello Ma’am…”

i immediately changed plans, withdraw that outstretched foot as gracefully and unobtrusively as I can (What if it was just a homeless man calling out for hope of some financial assistance that i am anyway unable to give now?why hurt his feelings?) and maintain my brisk pace.

There is not one person to whom I could ask directions to the closest  metro station whose terrible signage is legion in Washington.

Amazing!

Not a soul on  the road after just about 7.30 pm?!

Ugh! What a stick-inthe-mud respectable town , i say!

Give me my crazy swingin’ old NYC any day !

I finally spot a man and a woman from afar.

But as I approach to ask there is a sudden scene change. She on second thoughts turns to gaze into his eyes  and soon in that deserted bus shelter,they are locked in a long lingering gentle kiss in a little pool of light  with the rest of the roads  looking like a neutron bomb had fallen on it exterminating all signs of Life.

Except me ,who stood there turned into the all-seeing -eye -of -God looking upon a wonderful moment when time stood still for two people.

Directions to the Metro station be damned! I walk on feeling very pleased .Overall ,in this country I love the fact that people express their intimacies without reserve-I recall my  moments of Subway joy in NYC- an old couple twining and untwining palms with slowly caressing fingers at the metro station as they stand talking about perfectly ordinary things, A couple basking in the park calmly leaning on one another in the sun -she is dozing lightly with an open book across her belly and  he is texting with one finger supporting her weight upon his chest.Two youngsters in love lingering over a kiss to say goodbye as they prepare to catch trains in opposite directions for the night.Two men , both in skirts sitting in each other’s laps chatting happily oblivious to the world.

It’s nice.

How uptight are we back home!How merciless are we in our censorship while hunger & desire claw our innards to the point of near manic violence that we do our best to keep declawed,defanged or at least chained and hidden in a cage in the cellar ,dark and redolent with droppings.

Meanwhile a Japanese man in a suit looking almost as lost as me zero in into one another asking directions and we decide to team up in a spot-the-metro station contest .

Though we fail first attempt , the distance covered becomes time for mutual self introduction .At last we find ourselves before a drab grey building and spotting a man in uniform decide to ask him where the Metro is .He pointed into the building with an equally grey drab  expression.That  anonymous hulk of a building   happened to be just it!

Back home it would have immediately drawn out an indignant interjection -“ithenthaa!valla vellarikka pattanamo?!”

(Lit.Transln: “is this some kind of cucumber town or what?!”

Meaning  :”is this some sort of ridiculous village or small town growing cucumbers?

(The  smallness of the town is measured metaphorically in terms of a settlement that raises low value produce like cucumbers!!!)

Really ! is Washington an overgrown village where everyone is just supposed to know where things are ?(Actually ,that’s all I meant to say ,folks!)

My gentlemanly escort, though going opposite way ,graciously waits till I get the gate opening-with metro card -ritual straight and waves with that slight inflection of his spine that his culture has unmistakably ingrained in him as he moves on.

This is  just like I do instinctively  the first touch-on -forehead-and-then-the centre-of-chest routine  every time my feet unintentionally touches someone on a train .It is an ‘I respect your sanctity’ gesture that we pick up as children because where we grew up  to place one’s feet on anyone  is construed a disrespectful act.

(In fact even crossing over any living being is seen as a no-no because the physical body also includes the invisible aura of energy around it that should not be desecrated by the touch of feet!)

I get off finally at Farragut North station with disrupted Late running  trains due to repair work & dysfunctional elevators of which I counted at least  five in my two and half days stay there .

That certainly made me feel very good indeed about our stuff back home. If this is the scene  in Washington, the power capital of the world,you are excused ,little Kochi !

I am starving after ,I suppose, my ten kilometer circuit walk today .

Finally losing my way to the hotel ,I   stumble into small shop where a man of Caribbean descent sells baked stuff he makes himself  starting with what we call savory puffs back home for about 5 dollars each .

When i call the lobby a fourth time to please send someone to to teach me how to use the coffee maker , a slightly tired looking but attractive african origin woman walk in. Alice Walker ,66 ,is a generous soul who warms up to me and begins to chatting even fetching me extra satchets  of coffee .We chat on about her decision to quit the US and go back to Sierre Leone where her husband waits for her leaving behind her three married daughters in Washington  because “… no-one knows how to live or eat properly here and my knees are killing me with all this standing on the job and boy! dont I need some rest now! ”

I do too …

A large watery cup of coffee later , I chat with a friend and in one on the two large looking beds in a room far too big for one small lone me.

I fall into a deep untroubled sleep.