#change my name. never to be seen
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These drivers are a whole different beast. I would not be able to maintain awkward eye contact with my mechanics for a whole ass 20 seconds with everyone knowing that we're stuck with in the most cursed game of "Red Light, Green Light" because I couldn't control my temper on track
#i would simply park the car and leave the city. the country even#change my name. never to be seen#f1#formula 1#mexican gp 2024
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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#this is certainly the most goat looking angle i've ever seen for cobalion#i kinda wish the rest of the swords of justice were relevant in gti. y'know? we only saw virizion and keldeo but we never got to#hear virizion's stories about what the other swords of justice were up to. or even like. about the fact that she is a legendary pokémon#she never talked about it. no one acknowledged it. everyone was just down bad for her with no idea she's a legendary#literally a sword of justice. no “where's cobalion & terrakion” just oh FUCK you're hot#and then she gets a crush on emolga of all pokémon. which‚ fail. he is in love with dunsparce. do not take this from him#i'm so disconnected from the actual canon of pmd at this point i've become so engrossed in my own devised version#with all my own versions of all the characters with real names that just are not anything like their canon counterparts at this point#i've changed pmd so much in my own head that it's like. do i even like pmd anymore#yes. yes i do. my pmd is simply a different version of the same thing that we all love. impossible to like pmd without creating fan content#i firmly believe this. hey why don't i stop talking about unrelated things in cobalion's tags#cobalion
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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Me explaining why the winking lady at the end of The Church On Ruby Road is Susan, Susan Twist is the one who waited, and Ruby is their love child
#the lady winked at the camera#who else has been winking at the camera this season?#its purposely connecting them bc they both break the fourth wall#++ her main line#“never seen a TARDIS before?”#who named the tardis#huh?#thats right#susan did#i am completely delusionally convinced that susan is coming back soon#the susan twist and love child thing is just something im throwing out there#bc she is the one following them through time and space#who else could the one who waits be referring to?#ruby being their love child is bc i gen cant decide who i think her mother is#plus we havent really thought about who the dad is#either one of them could have probably changed forms and been a man long enough to father a child#would also just love to watch ruby explain to her mother that the docter is her great grandfather bc his granddaughter is her birth father#dw at its finest#fr tho i really love the new season so far#dw#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#my theories
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If you've never watched a BobbyBroccoli Video please do yourself a favour and check him out - his videos are fascinating, well-told and look amazing
(I genuinely have a bit of an art crush on him because his stuff is so good 🙈)
Here's one of his videos about something happening in science (you don't need to know anything about physics, he explains things very well)
youtube
He's one of those youtubers i often forget are an absolute favourite of mine until he releases another video and i remember 'oh right him! i love his stuff!!!'
#mine#bobbybroccoli#bobby broccoli#youtube#video essay#victor ninov#ive never seen anyone talk about him anywhere so i thought id recommend him maybe some of my mutuals would enjoy his stuff#idk man every time i watch a video of his i go !!!!!#i have no clue about physics and generally dont find it interesting but he does a great job explaining whats going on and why it is importa#and a lot of his videos are about people making big world-changing mistakes and its very fascinating to watch him tell the story#because he is really good at telling the story to build up the tension and stuff i think#anyway if u like long video essays with a calm but nice sounding narrator please check him out#(fun fact i named my fave oc (nikolaj ninov) after the guy this video is about (because of this video) lol)#also i feel very strongly about my favourite youtubers and if anyone needs recommendations feel free to hmu i love to talk about it
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not to be true crime posting on main but i think i'm falling down the wm3 rabbit hole again
#xenia.txt#when i tell you this case keeps me up at night to this day#not even the murders themselves as much as the general public's reception to and opinions on the case 3 decades later like#i get why it;s always been so divisive especially after the pl docus came out (lots of opinions on those btw none of them are good#from the bottom of my heart fuck you joe berlinger and bruce sinofsky)#but it's truly baffling how no one is willing to do the research on what is arguably THE most well documented true crime case in recent#history like. everything that's ever been released to the general public is available online and i mean everything#you can find all the court files trial transcripts depositions interogation tapes aerial photos you name it it's out there for anyone with#internet connection to access at any and all hours of the day#and yet people are still foaming at the mouth fighting on reddit abt their innocence based off nothing but a couple of movies like#bffr with me right now!! almost every point the innocenters make can be easily debunked by scrolling through callahan for 15 minutes#'but they've been pushing for dna testing since their release so they can't be guilty' baby the case is closed!#it's been closed the second they took the plea. they can be striking under that courthouse and it still won't change a thing and they knowi#that's why they're pushing for it in the first place but that's just my opinion#^ and i say they but it's really only echols which makes a lot of sense to me personally#and if you want to talk abt dna testing let's talk abt the one that was done in 2011 and how the defense hurried to propose the plea as soo#as they got the results! let's talk abt those cause no one's ever seen them and i would very much like to#braga share the results the people want to know!!#makes me wonder which pieces of evidence they even submitted for that 2011 testing because if i'm remembering correctly#there was one that would've closed this case instantly and maybe that's why the results were never disclosed and the plea was rushed#but that's also just my opinion#and it's also interesting how the majority of people who have in fact deep dived into this case#(and i'm not talking abt big true crime youtubers as i'm very sceptical abt their research abilities)#all collectively lean towards guilty. much to think about#i was hoping someone would make another ~actually~ unbiased documentary for the 30th anniversary and go over all the case files#but i don't think that's even realistic at this point seeing as everyone and their mother has some sort of an opinion on this case#hbo deserves another lawsuit for this. they should've never won the first one in the first place#true crime tw
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I really would like to give a shout out to the trans people who don't want to change their name to something more gender affirming. This has been my name my whole life I'm not going to change it just to make things less confusing for other people.
"But It's a girls name" no, it's my name. Huff piss about it.
#mfer these are my syllables im not givin em up#this is not meant as a dig to people who do change their name i just want to show love to trans people who don't want to#i love you i love you i love you i love y#transgender#trans#queer#you never seen a man named gretchen before? grow up
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shi.n's amnesia later route is such an out of character experience bc wdym someone this cute shows me all the love they have for me and i dont healthily communicate with him that im feeling overwhelmed by it.
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#GONNA BE HONEST. EVERY OTO.ME PLAYTHROUGH I DO IS OOC FOR ME - i refuse to change the name of the mc unless they make me and even then i#didnt give the heroine my name im sorry heroine ... mainly bc im also playing from a rpers perspective FHDJKADHSJK#but this route is a sharp edged sword. i dont know if i can ever finish it ( i mean i can bc things get resolved and they DO communicate! )#and it goes onto one of the most respected endings ive seen for a chara: having the good ending as him moving away to another place but you#guys staying together long distance bc thats rep! we need!#its just the fact that even min.e and saw.a explain that what is happening isnt fair on him and the convo ends with avoidance ...#that is NOT my heroine sweetie what did they do to you#much love for heroine and everything she stands for but this CANNOT! be me sorry#shin would literally be like perf for the waiter position but he hates everyone but his two childhood friends im sorry you're never catchin#him acting like this unless you're them#hes just young and very forward. very blunt too if he wants a kiss he will inform and then take ... hes tryinggggg ....#anyway good morn i was looking at these at 3am for icons and then promptly fell asleep#time to write one last draft and then queue all i have - ill have 5 drafts left over in total :')#between my two blogs which is! amazing! but i will be focusing on inboxes after ive edited them all#omw to do the amnesi.a call this week. and plotting messages#we're going far kiddssss
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Eriana with some nonsensical lighting because I missed her and wanted to chop her hair for funsies
#attollo#attollo mc#she’s my attollo mc for new followers who have never seen her and was in desperate need of a redraw lol#and I’m playing with her hair#I plan to draw her a jjk au in the jjk style but I need to go to bed#oc: eriana#she may also be getting a name change specially for that au#just her last name cuz she’s named after nanami lmaooo#ok I should sleep not post art at ass o’clock
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I will never forgive a single one of you
#There will come a day when your grandchildren see your faces in the history books and spit on you#“We survived the last one” no we all didn't#I lost so many#so many#His policy changes almost got me killed twice alone#I mean that literally -- in the hospital trying not to die because of the shit he did#Later today I am going to have to face a room full of [redacted] and promise to do everything I can to protect them and not give up#all while pretending I'm not already sitting in my grave#Of course I'm going to fight of course I am but Christ alive fuck you people who think this is a game#and honestly fuck everyone who looked at what happened and didn't see massive voter suppression for what it was#“why didn't so-and-so shift blue” because they challenge mail-in ballots and purge the rolls late and shut down polling locations#and if they call you a “felon” you can't vote. And guess what sort of people they like to make felons?#Reminding myself through gritted teeth that if almost half of Texas voted blue - that's a higher population than some blue states have#It's a lot of people. It's so many people. So many many people tried#People out there care and are trying don't forget them don't abandon them don't condemn them in the hatred#Welp.#If you're still reading this I'm so sorry#If you're USAmerican remember: if they come knocking on your door asking for the neighbor in your attic - you don't know shit#You have never seen a shoplifter in your life. You never had nor never knew anyone who got an abortion.#You don't know any queer people. Especially not a trans person. Especially especially not a trans kid.#Social media sites are not safe for communication. It's not a game okay. Get real good at being careful#Buy an air cleaner and a water filter and get ready to keep an eye on food contamination outbreaks#Get to know your local farmers#Buy a chicken. Name it Reggie. Reggie gonna give you eggs.#Living is an act of defiance. Fighting is an act of love
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i love overly prideful characters. the ones who carry their heads so high it's easy to mistake their pride for arrogance. and sometimes it's a bit of both, but eventually it's pride that leads to their downfall. those characters who spit their thoughts out, who claw at their last bits of sanity, who would rather give their life than to admit they've been defeated. i love seeing them cry and crumble, too stubborn to admit they've been crushed; love seeing them snap and bite like a wounded animal backed in a corner. there's a deep satisfaction about a character who refuses to step down from their self-built throne made of spite and ambition, no matter how lonely it gets at the top–at the bottom awaits nothing but despair. there's something so beautiful about their petty pride and the way they carry themselves; how, even when forced down on their knees, they'll keep their heads up, eyes on the waxing moon.
#i could name at least a dozen chars that came to my mind#and no matter which setting i will always eat them up#it's been a lot on my mind these days#something something about being unabashedly yourself and taking up space in a world that wants you to be quiet and small#and striving to be seen no matter how frightening it is#because the thought of NOT being seen is even more scary#mhm mhm mhm#anyway overly prideful characters ily never change#lale.txt
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so i had a story idea based on my clangen file. oopsie.
(characters in order; rainbownose, graupelgaze, stemstar, fluffy, mothmoon, boarfur, tarantulatuft, serpentleaf, ryedusk, cloudbark, drizzle, strike & shine). you can see their full images + a little snippet of info here!
#WARRIOR CATS WHEEEEEEEEE#umm how to. tag.#warrior cats#warrior cats oc#warrior cats clangen#clangen#for clarity: graupelgaze and mothmoon had their names changed from original ones for thematic purposes#and drizzle strike and shine are all totally original and do not come from the clangen#(besides my headcanons of every time someone is seen speaking to kittypets thats one of them)#the beasts#i am NOT tagging all those characters#approaching storm#i love crazy ass stories with plots ill never fully write out#keeps me sane#oc#original characters
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I got an email from my grandpa today and all the draft responses I’ve been working on in my head sound like an 18th century letter that’s going to have to travel for months to reach him.
pandemic year 5 really has me feeling like me and a very small handful of people I know are living on an entirely different plane of existence than everyone else
#like I haven’t seen him in over a year. I’ve seen him 3 times since 2020#so I guess on the isolation and slow communication front it’s pretty similar#he used my chosen name. I haven’t changed my email yet but he used my chosen name#I don’t even care at this point if he never gets my pronouns right#I thought I’d never be able to tell him. I didn’t want to find out his politics were more important#he’s quiet and kind and he gives people expensive gifts any time he can afford it but he constantly forgets people’s allergies#so he might get you something you can’t have but whoever you pass it along to will love it#he cries at weddings and during church services and sometimes random holidays#he passes out in his rocking chair at every family function#he’s the unofficial photographer of every gathering ever since my great grandfather stopped being able to walk as much as the job requires#and he voted for trump in 2016 and has afaik an active nra membership#he once complimented my outfit by telling me he’d call me a stud if I was a guy#which like. ok. I have some notes#but uh. thanks?#idk I’m just. it sucks being so far away from everyone and everything because the rest of the world is ignoring an ongoing pandemic#I’m missing so much of my life and others lives and even parts of my own transition#I can make steps to reach out but it only goes so far if poeple#are unwilling to mask or vaccinate or even just ask what needs to happen to make it safe#so I don’t. idk. kill my partner#or become even more disabled than I currently am#my family’s been making steps and they’re taking me seriously but it’s all so slow and I’m still sore from bracing for rejection#I’ve been bracing for rejection for so so long it’s terrifying to reach out. about anything#this is not condusive to a healthy relationship lol#not sure what to do other than bonk myself on the head and say ‘get better’ tho#*bonk* ‘try again’#one step at a time ig#ahshitherewegoagain.jpg#.txt
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re: my last tag on my last post
#didn’t want to go all deep and whatever on that post bc idk whatever. i have my reasons i think#anyway#it really is odd to me that i might be memorable to people who i’ve never even interacted with directly#like people can just see me around campus and my face becomes even somewhat recognizable to them#it’s such an odd but cool feeling#bc growing up i was very much someone who just wanted to blend in more than anything#i didn’t want to do anything that would make me stand out in the slightest#i wanted to be as boring and unmemorable and regular as possible (at least in regard to my appearance; personality wise i was very much a-#-weird girl)#and i guess at some point in high school my mentality shifted and i wanted people to see me and think i’m cool or attractive or whatever#i wanted people to look at me and actually Think something of me#and now it’s not really something i actively try to do#it’s more of a ‘do i think i look good? do i like how i look? do i feel good? good’ and i go out like that#so it’s like. startling but also kinda really cool to have people actually remembering my face and thinking i’m cool or pretty or talented#or smart. or all of the above (preferably lol bc they’re all accurate ehehe)#even if they don’t automatically know how they recognize me#like. i’m here! i can be seen! and when i come face to face with these people who i’ve never seen before but who think i’m familiar#i can just casually chat with them and joke around and have fun#i can’t remember their names quite right. but they compliment my makeup or my shirt and an hour later i’m jokingly blowing kisses at them#idk it’s weird to think about how much i’ve changed as a person bc even four years ago this would’ve been like. unthinkable behavior#and now it just comes naturally i guess#(though the alcohol certainly helps i’m sure haha)#anyway i’m just proud of how far i’ve come both socially and in terms of my own self confidence and outgoingness#and my willingness to just be seen!!!
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Sometimes the fact that GRRM has, amid all his efforts to have nuance and a wide spectrum in his female characters and to deconstruct certain tropes, played the daddy's girl tomboy in contrast to the hostility or complete elimination of the female figures in her life trope completely straight over and over again, with basically every female warrior he wrote, from his female lead to two whole secondary POVs to one note extras (with the exception of the Mormont ladies yeah at least, maybe when we get more Alysane content I will be less grumpy about this), leaves me kind of bitterly shocked tbh
#have seen a very rightful post that people are vocal about ned favoring arya but not so about cat favoring sansa and while part of it is#yea some people can't read etc on the other its also true that the first is a living onpage subtle dynamic and plot relevance and#the second is. stock recollection of generic my mom told me to brush my hair :( episodes between characters who never interact#and that kinda contrasts with other things we know of cat: like she clearly did not overvalue primness in her childhood memories. she takes#to other willful ladies so quickly and this with arya already having plenty of negative female figures with sansa jeyne and septa mordane#idk i get why the fandom isnt too focused on this. not ideal for when what is being done is objective analysis of the text ofc. but i feel#ignoring lazy male writing is kind of a fandom tradition even if here the well is poisoned for any deviation from canon sadly#with the distortion at play from that side#i have not tagged the canon nor any character's full name so huh if you see this in any tag i apologize and that wasnt the intention#i also strive heavily in my writing to subvert this with asha as far as canon supports but one my mother raised me to be bold doesnt really#change the fact that is def a case of complete elimination of the female authority figure in practice#op
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