#change is terrifying but it's also the only thing that's constant! let it happen to you
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Hi Sarah, your thoughts on a life conundrum would be highly appreciated. I’m working at a law firm and a pretty exciting in-house opportunity has come up. I’m thinking of making the jump but I’m a bit apprehensive as I do like the typical things you get at a law firm (stability, salary, prestige etc.) which are not guaranteed elsewhere. As you have made an even bigger career change, do you have any advice on how to get over that fear of the unknown and commit to new opportunities?
So let's tackle this in pieces:
The stability is completely find-able, just don't go to a start up and you'll be fine. Lawyer in a big company is basically as safe as lawyer in a big firm. And lawyer is a great career generally for stability because it tends to be fairly countercyclical - people need lawyers most when things are tough.
Salary is one you're going to have to come to terms with. You'll probably switch over on your current salary but you will find the ceiling much more quickly than in a law firm. There are very few in house lawyers that are paid as much as law firm partners, maybe some GCs in big American companies. In exchange for a lower salary though, you get a life back and some time to actually enjoy the money.
The prestige is the most interesting one here to me because I think it holds a lot of people back. And it's funny because people outside of law don't think about it with anything near the intensity that lawyers do. Like, you tell a typical consultant or person working in finance that you're a lawyer at a big company or at a big firm and they are unlikely to have a significantly opinion of you - but that doesn't stop lawyers from being completely hung up on this. The fact is, at some point you have to start living life for you and not for your parents or people you meet in pubs or what you think people will think of you. You're the one living your life, you need to make the choices that are right for you.
And that's really the secret to getting over fear of the unknown: you've got to trust yourself. Trust yourself to make good choices, to overcome challenges, and to figure it out as you go. The fact that you want to do it indicates that you should, you just need to trust that gut instinct and make the change.
+ let's have a sleepover
#good luck babe!#i am excited for everything ahead of you#change is terrifying but it's also the only thing that's constant! let it happen to you#especially when it's a 'pretty exciting ' opportunity ! !#correspondence#work stuff#employment#s dispenses wisdom#also i know you didnt send me this as part of the sleepover but I'm answering it with sleepover stuff so i lumped it in!
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IdeaDpxDc—There are better ways to meet someone.
Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.
Dead On Main. Soul mates.
---
"Exactly... what does this ring do?" The shining ring was still attached to his finger. This wouldn't worry him if it weren't for the fact that, with each passing minute, the ring emitted more light, and that can't be good.
The cult leader refused to speak. He wouldn't even look at him, seeming particularly attentive to the material the floor was made of. Very funny that now he was scared of him when, an hour ago, he was giving a very cliché speech about how humanity was doomed because it would summon the evil of evils.
It wasn't very smart of him to perform his summoning precisely in Gotham City, home of the Dark Knight.
Red Hood was getting impatient. He placed the hand without the ring on his weapon; if words didn't work, a real threat to his life would. And this didn't really break Bruce's 'no killing' rule because the gun was only loaded with rubber bullets. However, just as he was about to advance and shoot the guy, he saw Batman grab the leader's tunic collar and lift him up.
The man, of course, screamed in fear. "Speak, what does that ring do?" No jokes. Batman's voice was deeper than usual, showing that he was upset, no, rather angry.
Or worried, but Jason could never consider that possibility. For the moment, he was only surprised, although it didn't show through his helmet.
"I-I don't know," the leader replied. Poor guy, he seemed about to cry. Batman, not content, tightened his grip even more; he wasn't willing to tolerate a lie this time.
Red Robin raised an eyebrow. "You managed to gather a bunch of magical artifacts for your summoning and you don't know what they do?"
The man looked away. "No..." The rest of the cult members also looked away. Very brave and stupid of them to all agree to lie to the bats. Jason himself wanted to mock them, but the ring kept shining. He couldn't mock when the ring kept shining and he didn't know what it meant.
From the communications, Robin could be heard. "Tt, this wouldn't be happening if Hood hadn't put on the ring." Jason suppressed a growl.
"Kid, I didn't put on the ring. This thing stuck to me the moment I touched it." It was true. In the middle of the operation to stop the ritual, Jason had pulled the ring, which at that moment was a kind of necklace by the chain that ran through it, from a member who was wearing it. The ring in his hand began to glow and suddenly teleported to his ring finger, then stopped shining. It was when everything calmed down that the ring began to release a different, but constant light.
Approximately ten minutes have passed since then, he thought as he looked at the ring, ignoring all the magical stuff; it was actually a very simple ring. Suddenly, the ring began to blink.
Oh, no. That couldn't be good.
Batman, fed up with the leader's silence and his followers, threw the man meters ahead. "Oracle, call Zatanna now, we need more information about the ring," he ordered as he approached the man who was in pain from the fall. The guy, terrified by the violent aura of the Dark Knight, tried to retreat.
Finally, Nightwing stepped between the man and the brutal beating he would receive if he didn't speak.
"It's okay, B, calm down." With his hand on his father's shoulder, Dick tried to ease the atmosphere. "I understand your concern. We are all worried about what the ring might do to Hood. But we can't let fear and anger control us. Hood is important to all of us. He is our brother, your son. We can't lose our cool now. Let's call Wonder Woman. If no one wants to talk, she can help us with the lasso of truth."
Total silence. Jason didn't know what to say; he didn't think his family would react like this over a blinking ring. That is... he doesn't know. Suddenly, the ring's light began to blink faster.
Batman, after Nightwing's words and seeing the change in the ring, understood that he couldn't waste time with someone who wouldn't talk. "You're right, thank you Nightwing." Looking at the others, he said: "We need to act quickly, we don't know the effects the ring might have on Hood. We need to take him to the cave for a thorough analysis, no discussions." The last part he said looking at Jason. "Until then, don't try to take it off or use it."
Jason scoffed, as if he would.
"Oracle, you heard, call Diana. Red Robin and I will take care of the rest of the cult. Nightwing, take Red Hood to the cave." Batman began giving orders as he reached the leader and began dragging him towards the rest of his cult. The leader, in a failed attempt, tried to resist. "Agent A, please prepare a stretcher. Understood?"
Everyone nodded.
On the other hand, the touching speech and the strange family moment of the bats seemed to soften the heart of a girl from the cult, who in a whisper said: "The ring, nothing will happen to him." Although she spoke quietly, everyone present heard her.
The leader, panicking that the information would be revealed, exclaimed: "Catrina, shut up!" However, he was struck by Batman, who was already fed up with the guy.
"What do you have to say about the ring?" he asked.
The woman hesitated to speak. "We thought of using the ring to subdue the king of the dead and make him listen to our orders..." She paused, not knowing how to continue. "There is a real legend about the ring. A long time ago, a witch wanted to know who her soulmate was, so she created the ring. This allows one to be guided to their soulmate through the red thread. I think everyone already knows what the red thread is." Nervous, she looked around. Only Nightwing nodded, and that was enough for her to continue telling. "Well, the witch's red thread connected with a prince. Unfortunately for everyone, the prince was not happy that his soulmate was a witch. So he had her killed." The girl looked at her hands; that part of the story was sad. "The witch was angry, but still wanted her soulmate to accept her, so she rewrote the ring's original purpose. It was no longer something that united you with your soulmate, but now it was something that allowed you to subdue your soulmate... uh, this." She pointed to a book that was lying in a corner. "With another spell, in fact, it can be used to subdue anyone, even a king of the dead."
With the whole story already told, Red Robin asked: "So, what is the ring doing to Red Hood?"
"It's tracking his soulmate. I... didn't get to put the other spell on it. I could only activate the ring's primary function. Your brother will be fine."
That definitely changes things. Jason swore he could hear his heart beating. A soulmate, wow. He admits he's read many romance novels and maybe once dreamed of it, but for it to actually happen, wow.
Suddenly, the ring stopped blinking. Five seconds later, everyone saw a red thread shoot out from the ring's gem. It quickly moved in one direction, went through the wall, and kept going. The process was like a fishing rod when it catches a fish.
"Does this mean it already found its soulmate?" Red Robin asked. Astonished by the red thread, he tried to touch it but his hand went through it; apparently, the thread was intangible to anyone else.
"Yes," the cultist also seemed astonished.
Jason felt a look on him, turned, it was his brother. Oh no, not that look, he knew that smile; Dick would tease him so much in the coming days. For his part, Batman sighed in relief. Well, it wasn't such an extreme danger, but it was still dangerous. "Agent A, cancel the stretcher." He never imagined this would mean a soulmate case. "Oracle, don't cancel the call to Zatanna or Wonder Woman, we need to verify the information. We'll stay here until the police arrive."
How nice it would be if everything ended like that, right? With Dick joking with Jason, Tim analyzing the thread, Barbara laughing at the turn of events, Bruce relieved and Damian surprised. However, one must remember the story.
The witch changed the ring's original purpose. Unexpectedly, the thread began to retract, as if it had caught something. It did so so quickly that Jason grabbed his hand in pain. It was then that everyone had a bad feeling. The wall the thread had previously passed through suddenly exploded, the noise and dust alerting everyone, especially when once the chaos disappeared, something horrific could be seen.
An arm. A fucking arm. Apparently freshly torn from its owner. Oh, no. What did it do to his soulmate?
...
Somewhere else in the world, somewhere in the United States, Danny gasped in pain. What the hell? What was that? Ancients! Where is his arm?
---
Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.
Edited on 06/21/2024 - Note two: Thanks to redflagshipwriter, who continued this idea below. And to Sakuravalelp who made me laugh with the complement.
#dead on main#dp x dc#batpham#danny phantom#dc x dp#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dcxdp#danny fenton x jason todd#dc x dp crossover#jason todd x danny fenton#jason todd#I don't know how to write#leave this in the hands of a real writer.#I don't know English either#I used a translator#sorry.#The bats are scared with their arm torn off#Danny is angry about his arm being torn off#Don't worry#no one found out#it happened at night#nobody except jazz#She is scared
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Back to december
Remus Lupin x reader
Summary: Remus feels like he will regret that night the rest of his life, the marauders convince him to do something about it.
Genre: Hurt/comfort, Second chance romance
CW: Remus being self-destructive and questioning his worth.
Word count: 1.8K
This is part of my Speak now (Marauders' Version) collection.
“So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you, Saying I'm sorry for that night. And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine”
Remus sighed, his eyes were fixed into someone across the great hall. He was sitting with the marauders at their usual place, his fork was playing with the food in front of him, he hadn’t been able to eat ever since that night.
“Come on mate, tell us what’s wrong. You’ve been sighing the whole dinner.” Sirius’ voice made him turn to him, seeing his three friends looking at him with worry written in their faces.
“Nothing is wrong, I’ve already told you” Remus replied with the same excuse he had been using for days.
“Yeah and that’s why you’ve been looking at Y/N like a kicked puppy for the last week” James retored. “Tell me again, why did you two break up?”
“How many times are you going to ask me that?” Remus sighed, tired of repeating the same conversation over and over with his friends.
“Until you tell us the truth” Peter urged.
“I’ve been telling you the truth, we wanted different things, the relationship wasn’t working”
“Remus” Sirius’ voice was stern, and the lack of a nickname while referring to his best friend was jarring. “You two were the epitome of love, I had never seen you smile as much as you did with her, like, never.”
“It’s hard to believe you, not even a day before you broke it off you were looking at her like she was the best thing that had ever happened to you. Your words, not mine.” James insisted.
And he was right, Remus had never been as happy as he had been while dating you. The choice of breaking things off had been all his. He loved you so much it was terrifying, at some point all he could think about was how long he had left before you realised what he really was and you left him for someone better. You deserved someone better.
“I really hope this has nothing to do with your monthly problem.” Peter’s voice was low, only for the four of them to hear.
Remus couldn’t help it, he stiffened. Peter had nailed it and he wasn’t ready to let his friends know about how deep his insecurities really run. But, they noticed his frame changing from exhausted to on guard, Remus didn’t even say anything before the rest of the marauders understood what had happened.
“Is that true Remus, did you break up with her because of that? I thought she already knew?” Sirius asked quietly, his previous anger now replaced with symphaty.
“She knows now, and it doesn’t matter, just drop it. I’m done with the interrogation” Remus snapped at them before getting up and leaving the great hall, leaving his friends with dumbfounded expressions behind.
───✥───
Lily meant well and you knew it, but if she kept asking you if you were okay you might explode.
“How are you, Y/N?” Lily asked you, for the fourth time in the last hour.
Ever since Remus had broken up with you Lily had been sitting next to you through all the meals, leaving her boyfriend's side, and afterwards she would walk you to your dorm. You appreciated her company and her friendship, but she was also a constant reminder that things were not as they were before, and therefore she was a constant reminder of your heartbreak.
“I’ll be fine” was the answer you settled for every time she asked.
“I talked to James.” Lily hesitated before speaking “Are you really okay? He told me why you and Remus broke up…”
Your eyes widened at that, if James had really told Lily about your break up that meant Lily knew about Remus being a werewolf, and as far as you were concerned he had never pushed her out of his life as he had done when you had been the one to bring it up.
“You knew about…that?” you decided to keep it as vague as possible in case James had made something up to stop Lily from asking more details.
She nodded “Ever since fourth year”
“Did he tell you?” You needed to know, your hands were now shaking and your heart was racing.
“No, I figured it out. Just like you did '' Lily's words calmed you down a little, if he had been able to confide in Lily but had never felt safe enough to tell you it would’ve made you feel awful.
“The moment I brought it up he cut me off, we didn’t even have the chance to discuss it. He just broke up with me.” It was the first time you were being honest about it, and it just made everything hurt like if Remus was breaking up with you all over again.
Lily stepped closer to you before wrapping you in a tight hug, her arms stroking your back in an attemp to comfort you.
“I think you should talk to him, try to make things right again.” she whispered.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, he probably doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“Somehow I doubt that.”
Maybe Lily was right, but you would never be brave enough to even try to prove her right.
───✥───
After storming out of the great hall Remus had locked himself in his dorm, he didn’t want any of the marauders to give him a speech about how he couldn’t let his lycanthopy affect his relationships. Because it had already affected the most important one he had.
But of course his friends wouldn’t grant his wishes.
“Remus, let me in, I want to talk with you. Please” Sirius was nothing but persistent. “Come on Moony, you know I’m not leaving.”
Remus sighed, he’d been doing that a tad lately, but decided to let Sirius in. He wasn’t going to give up anytime soon, and he preferred to talk with him alone and not wait for James and Peter to join Sirius.
When he opened the door Sirius didn’t waste a second and barged in, going directly to sit on Remus’ bed.
“Oh, yes of course, make yourself at home on my bed.” Remus scoffed at him.
“Come sit, Moony”
Remus didn’t have the strenght to fight him, so he walked towards his bed and sat next to Sirius.
“What happened when she found out?” He wasn’t going to waste any more time.
“She confronted me about it, asked me why I hadn’t told her.” Remus said sadly
“Was she judgemental, was she scared or disgusted?” Sirius inquired, he knew you well, and you weren’t anything but lovely and understanding, being disgusted by Remus’ lycanthropy was not something he pegged you to be.
“I didn’t give her the chance to really express what she thought of it” Sirius gave him a look of encouragement for him to continue. “I broke up with her before she could say something.”
“Why?”
“I think that if she had rejected me at that moment I would have never recovered from it, I was terrified.” He said, his words showing a rare vulnerability.
“Do you regret it? Not giving her a chance. Do you really think she would’ve hated you?”
“I regretted it the moment she walked out of the door, but I couldn’t risk it”
“I think you should give her the chance, talk with her.” Sirius patted his shoulder
“If she didn’t hate me then, she defintely does now. She deserves better.”
“I believe it’s not your call to choose what she does or does not deserve, give her the chance.”
Maybe Sirius was right.
───✥───
The Gryffindor common room was not very crowded after curfew, usually only a few seventh year students were spotted working on their class work after being kicked out of the library.
But these days you would only find comfort on the couch in front of the fireplace, even if it was not a substitute for Remus’ warmth during the cold nights of december, it was the best you found.
The quiet crack of the wood being burned and the weight of your blankets lulled you to sleep, your eyes were closed and your breathing slow, you were finally falling asleep when the weight of another body made the couch shift.
“Y/N '' your name was called very quietly, barely above a whisper, but you could recognise the voice anywhere.
“Remus” your eyes opened and you sat up, straightening yourself
Remus was sitting right next to you, far enough for his thighs to not touch you, but close enough for you to be able to read his expression in the dark room .
“Can we please talk?” He was fidgeting with his hands, clearly nervous of how this conversation was going to go.
You hugged yourself before nodding. Then a beat of silence
“I’m sorry.” you both said at the same time. Another silence took over the room before you both chuckled awkwardly.
“I’m really sorry Y/N, I shouldn’t have cut you off like that. I was scared and I was impulsive, I know I can’t excuse my behaviour, and you don’t have to forgive me but I needed you to know.” He took a deep breath before continuing
“I have never felt what I feel for you before, and only the thought of you leaving because of my lycanthropy terrified me. And the moment you confronted me about it I thought it was better if I was the one leaving. But I regretted it the moment I saw the tears in your eyes, and when you walked out of the door all I wanted was to take my words back. And I regret it every time I see you across the great hall instead of next to me. Words can’t begin to show how sorry I am.”
Remus was now crying, he wasn’t the only one, your eyes had started to water the moment he started talking. You took his hand on yours before speaking.
“It’s okay Rem, I forgive you. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I would hate you for being you” you said sincerely.
There was a brief moment of silence in which you looked each other in the eyes, they were filled with tears, but also love. You swore no one had ever looked at you like that before.
"Can we try again, please?" He asked
You didn't even answer, throwing yourself at his arms, which embraced you with the familiar warmth you desperately craved.
"I've missed you so much, please never leave again" you sobbed into his chest
"I won't, I promise" he said, placing a kiss on your temple.
Maybe Remus should listen to Sirius' advice more often if they were going to help him get the love of his life back.
Author's note: I'm so proud of this one I think it's super duper cute. I'm also dying with uni work at the moment, wish me luck, love u all <33 Thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are welcomed and very appreciated To be part of the taglist Dm me or send me an ask <3 Series' taglist: @feral-posts @izuoyarmin @aremuslupinsimp @yourfavgay @imobsessedwitholiviarodrigo
#remus lupin x reader#marauders x reader#marauders fandom#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#marauders era#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin fic#remus fanfic#remus x reader#remus lupin#remus x you#remus lupin x you#marauders#remus lupin x y/n
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If One’s Different, One’s Bound to be Lonely - Wolverine Fic - Part 1
Fic Synopsis: We know Wolverine and Sabertooth but the reader is known as Jackal. Just like the other two, their mutation is animalistic, lending them healing factors, enhanced physical abilities, and animal senses. This fic details their relationship with the Anchor!Wolverine and how they ended up meeting the Worst!Logan
Chapter Warnings: violence, cussing, lewd comments/thoughts, reader is described as female
Word Count: 3k+
A/N: I’ve had this idea since I saw Deadpool and Wolverine so I figured I’d give it a go! I wanted to write Worst!Logan and SacredTimeline!Reader but wanted some backstory. Well, the backstory turned into backstories which then turned into this mini fic. Not sure how many parts there will be but no more than 10. This will start from when the reader was born, through snippets of the X-Men movies before FINALLY making its way to D&P. There's obviously going to be changes in scenes due to the reader and it's a fic so I can change what I want! I also love how Wolverine and Sabertooth are brothers in Origins so went with that. The timeline is also a little sketchy because D&W is set in 2024 and Logan 2029 but they discuss how Logan died already… so just bear with me on that… Let me know what you think!
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You were born in 1895 to two loving parents. They were older than the average parents, having struggled to conceive but finally being blessed with you. You were their pride and joy, providing you with all the clothes, toys, furniture, games, and literature you wanted.
You were a secluded child. You preferred being alone and were grateful for being an only child. You hated sharing your things and talking to others.
You were also a sick and frail child. You always caught a cold or broke a bone, or got a scratch. Your parents dragged you to numerous doctors, trying to find a reason for your ailments. It wasn’t until you hit puberty that the truth was revealed.
You were a mutant.
Your genetics carried an X gene and had different DNA then your parents.
A week laid up in bed with a constant fever, sweats, and chills, it was finally revealed when your fingernails elongated into claws, the rest of your baby teeth spilling out and adults ones replacing them. Only they were all razor sharp and could easily shred anything.
Your parents were hysterical at first. They prayed and waited for their miracle child but were terrified at first to learn that she was a mutant.
That she was different.
Your sense of sight was keener than the average human, you heard like a bat, your smell like a bloodhound. You no longer got sick. If you received an injury it healed in a matter of seconds.
Your parent’s initial fear turned into protectiveness and soon you were shut in - no longer allowed all the things you wanted. Your parents kept you at home, not letting you mingle with others your age in fear of something happening to you… Or you doing something to someone else.
As you grew older, you finally escaped your parents and never looked back. You moved around, being adaptable and able to change at any given moment and go with the flow of the environment. You were cunning and evaded anyone or thing you wanted to without thinking twice. And just like in childhood, you grew to be more territorial. You valued all your personal items and were always willing to defend what you called yours.
Through much research over your first years on your own - you were able to determine that all these traits were similar to that of an animal.
A Jackal.
Known for the same personality traits of your own, this dog breed also sported sharp teeth in all regions of their mouth and just as sharp claws to take down their prey. Soon, that's what you became known as.
You moved through the years alone, never staying in one place for more than a year due to the world's hate towards mutants. You often found secluded cabins and would purchase what you needed at a store, then hunted on your own for protein - using your abilities to your advantage.
If someone caused a problem for you, a man making a sexist comment. Someone shit talking other mutants. You didn’t hesitate to take them out. Your instincts would take over in that moment and your claws would disembowel them or your teeth rip out their throat.
Sometime during the 1950s, you were staying in a Montana cabin you found, the nearest town miles away. Occasionally, you would frequent a bar there, wanting a moment to feel the whiskey slide down. It was in that bar that you met two other mutants for the first time.
You were seated alone at a table in the tavern, dressed in slacks, a button shirt, and jacket, A cap was on your head, hiding your long hair to make it appear short. Making you appear like a man.
You were nursing a whisky on the rocks, allowing the liquid to burn your throat and sooth your day. The bar wasn’t too busy, filled with men after a day of work. Two were seated at the bar, another alone at a table than solely the bartender handing out drinks.
You smelt them before they entered. One smelt like copper, the other smoke. As they entered and made their way to the bar, you examined their appearance. Both dressed in jeans and dark jackets, the copper one appeared shorter but with broader shoulders. His hair was buzzed to his head with stubble lining his jaw. He moved with confidence, acting as he owned the establishment and everyone should part for him to make way.
The smoky one was taller, shoulders not as wide but perhaps weighing more due to his height. His hair was longer, curling behind his ears towards his neck with tufts on either side. His jaw was also lined in stubble, but rather than walking like he owned the place, he walked with ease, as if he knew people were staring but could care less about it.
Your eyes followed them as they ordered, noting how the other patrons seemed to watch them too, as if all of you were aware that they could be dangerous. You returned your attention back to your drink when you got a whiff of something you haven’t before. Despite their initial scents, they both smelt off - different than all the other humans you’ve been around your life. They smelt… almost wild.
You were taken from your thoughts when the seat across from you suddenly became occupied. You looked up and saw the two men seated across from you, both with a drink in hand. The shorter one spread his body on the chair, his left arm around the taller ones.
“What’s a woman like you doing in here?” The shorter one asked, nodding his head towards you.
“Women?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow.
So far, no one has been able to distinguish your true gender. How could these new patrons know?
“Can smell the difference Bub.” The taller one said as if it was obvious.
While his companion was spread out, the larger man surprisingly took up a smaller space. His forearms rested on the table, fingers clasped in front.
“Smell?” You repeated, feigning ignorance.
“Come on Frail. We can smell you’re a woman and smell you’re a mutant like us, quit playing stupid.” The shorter one growled, a look of anger on his face. “Never met a woman mutant like us though.” He added a malicious smirk on his lips. He turned to look at the other one, as if wanting him to comment as well but to no avail.
You’ve never met another mutant before. Period.
“Well, pleased to have checked that box off your list.” You smile, quickly finishing your drink before slamming it on the table, rising to flee. “Have a good night gentlemen.”
One of them smelling like blood and acting as he did, you knew they were trouble - and you’ve avoided trouble for so long the past years you weren’t about to start getting into it. You went to leave but the taller man grabbed your arm suddenly, claw like knives slowly breaking the skin of his knuckles and leaving them, puncturing your skin.
“We weren’t finished talking.” He said, finally showing some emotion as a smile graced his face.
You quickly yanked your arm back, watching as your skin healed itself, blood now stained on the sleeve of your jacket.
“Have a seat frail,” The shorter one added, smirk still on his face. “We want to get to know you.”
You sat back down. You wish you didn’t finish your whiskey as you tired to make your escape, no longer having something to fiddle in your hands.
You look up at the men and see them both staring back at you, as if taking you in. You know what they see. A woman with H/C hair hidden underneath a hat with just enough to be seen on your forehead. Eyebrows to match that have strands out of place and eyelashes that prissy girls would kill for circling your E/C eyes.
You do the same, truly taking in the men if they’re going to be talking with you. Assessing you. Determining if you’re a threat or not.
You observe the shorter one first, seeing him as the larger threat of the two. His eyebrows are bushy despite his short hair and has wrinkles on his forehead. He continued to wear a malicious smile and has subtle dimples on either side but they make him appear menacing rather than childlike. His eyes are green and hold a dark tint, as if he’s thinking about fucking you or killing you. Maybe both.
You move to look at the taller one and notice that his expression is almost unreadable, except his mouth is curled up slightly in a snarl. His eyes are a deep brown, holding only mistrust and curiosity, as if solely reading everything about you. His bottom his lip is full, the top one smaller but shaped perfectly despite the snarl.
“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” The shorter one repeats, raising an eyebrow.
“Drinking. What else do you do in a tavern?” You bite back, shooting him a dark look.
He looks around as if debating his answer before saying, “Some drink.” He shrugs. “Others bring a girl in and fuck her in the bathroom.”
You grimace at the thought of doing that act with him. You’d pick the taller one if it was between life and death if you had to choose. At least the taller one looks like he’d make it quick.
“I’m sure you have to drag them back there as no women would glance your way.”
You know you shouldn’t egg him on but you can’t help it. You have just as sharp of a bite to back up your bark and you’re not afraid to use it. Even if it’s against two other feral mutants.
“Hmph.” The man says.
You watch as he reaches his right hand out, going for a handshake. His hand resembles a paw, his nails replaced with claws and sharp as knives. Your eyes travel to his face and now notice how his canines are sharper than an average humans. Perhaps attributed to his mutation.
“Victor Creed. This runt is my brother James Howlett.” He finally introduced.
Two can play at this game.
You elongate your own nails, showing off your claws. You then smile, teeth sharpening to show off points on all of them, not just your canines. You reach over and clasp his hand in your own.
“Y/N L/N.” You tell them, causing him to smile wider.
You let go of his his hand and look at the other one. “I’m not shaking your hand since you already sliced me, asshole.”
He merely shrugs. “Not offended Bub.”
This time you notice how deep and gruff his voice it. It sends goosebumps throughout you and you hope neither can notice it.
“What do you two want?” You ask, switching your gaze between them.
“Like I said, never met a female frail before. And based on your reaction, guessing you've never met another mutant ever.” Victor says.
It’s your turn to shrug. “I like being alone and keeping to myself.” Simple and to the point.
“Why’s that? Afraid you’re gonna kill someone with those claws? Too weak to fight off the instinct to sink your teeth into their neck?” Victor leans forward, looking intently at you for your answer.
He’s right. Of course he is, having hit the nail on the coffin. You’re a loner by mutation and learned that being around others only causes harm by your hand. It’s better to be alone and comfortable, rather then surrounded by prey.
“So what if I am? Can still take your ass down.” You say nonchalantly, trying not to appear bothered by how easily he read you.
He laughs, it sounding hoarse and dry. “I’d like to see you try.”
“Somehow I think you’d enjoy that. Don’t wanna end up in the bathroom with you.” You retort back.
You notice then how the taller one barely talks. He seems to have an air of indifference around him. Like he’s just here because Victor is and has no interest in the conversion. Or you.
“Tell me, how old are you? Gotta be young if you’ve never met another mutant before.”
You watch as he takes a sip of his whiskey, again upset at yourself for downing yours. You think about stealing James due to his lack of participation but think better of it, not wanting him to slice you again.
“I was born in 1895.” You reveal, holding your gaze with Victors.
“Awe Jimmy.” He coos, bumping his elbow into his brothers arm. “She’s just a kitten compared to us.”
You growl at that, not liking the mocking tone. This man was starting to get on your nerves. His gaze keeps drifting down to your chest, as if he has x-ray vision to see your breasts. The other isn’t giving anything and you wish he would, seeming to be the more sane one of the two. If you take out the part where he cut you.
“What? You guys my long lost grandfathers or something trying to bring me home?” You question, arching an eyebrow.
They looked to be your age but based on what Victor has said and you’ve seen, their mutations really are similar to yours. You wouldn’t be surprised if they were older than you. You want to know more about them - you have to. The first people like you since you’ve discovered you're a mutant. Maybe you won't feel so lonely anymore due to your difference form others
“1831 and 1835.” James finally speaks, lowering his whiskey from his mouth.
“Doesn’t answer if you are my grandfathers.” You point out.
“Not your grandfather frail. Quite trying to be cute.” Victor cuts in. “Now, based on your claws and teeth, you’re definitely like us, not just by scent. So what? You got some wolf? Some crocodile? You hiding scales underneath those clothes?”
You laugh, your voice light in the air before you remember where you are and what you’re pretending to be.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You snap back, baring all your canines at him.
“She’s a Jackal Vic.” James says. “Hates being around others. Easily blends into her environment. Able to will her nails to claws and all teeth shape as canines. Makes sense”.
“One point to brains.” You point to James, winking at him. “Zero points to brawn.” You point to Victor.
Said man goes to speak but you don’t let him, continuing. “You’ve got your own set of claws and canines. You’ve been trying to manipulate me and the situation this entire time, proving your cunningness. And you seem to try to include James here, I’m assuming your younger brother, into the conversion because you value family. Making you similar to a Sabertooth.” Something you thought you might’ve been before discovering your similarities with a Jackal.
Victor raises his eyebrows in surprise, not thinking you’d be able to guess their own mutation like James had yours.
“Meanwhile,” you turn to James, “You seem to hate being around other people as much as me. Your quiet but observe everything around you, making sure you have an escape. You were able to debunk what my mutation was, suggesting you’re smart. If I didn’t see your claws earlier, I would’ve guessed you to be a Jackel like me.” You finish.
You watch as James leans forward, both arms resting on the table as his face gets closer to you. You stare into the deep brown and feel yourself getting lost for just a moment before being pulled back.
“So what does that make me?” He questions, curious of your conclusion.
“A wolverine.” You state.
With that reveal, you make your escape. You quickly exit the table, knowing this time to not walk by it as you exit the tavern. You push open the door with one hand and start to pick up your pace. There are people lingering outside and you don’t want to draw attention.
You reach the edge of the forest, taking the cap from your head and letting your H/C locks free. You run a hand through them, trying to catch your thoughts and slow your heart rate at the run-in you just had.
You two sets of footsteps rush up behind you and take a breath, smelling Victor and James. A hand reaches out and lands on your shoulder but you immediately grab it, turning to your right to face your attacker.
A crack is heard throughout the first floor as you break Victor’s arm and don’t hesitate. Your teeth elongate to canines, your face moving to his neck and grabbing it. You bite down, blood immediately rushing into your mouth as you grab a chunk out of him.
You let go and push him away, watching as he staggers back and James stands at his side, hands in his pocket. You spit the flesh out of your mouth and grin at both men.
“If you guys have heard anything about the Jackal, you’ll know to leave me the fuck alone.”
You leave it at that, turning on your heel and walking off into the forest, leaving an angered Victor and impressed James behind you.
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Stay tuned for Part 2!
#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine fanfiction#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#james howlett x you#james howlett x reader#james howlett imagine#xmen fanfiction#wolverine#james howlett#logan howlett
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vampire kurapika thoughts? :D
Vampire Kurapika HCs SFW/NSFW
!!REBLOGS OPEN!!
warnings: period sex, creampie, breeding, pussy eating
taglist: @desiray562 @lovelyxkazuha @ashdownunderscorebeloved @stygianoir @lightshowerrr @highbats69
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SFW
-he is very hesitant to bite you. if you tell him it’s okay, and that you even want it, me may nibble you. although he LOVES the taste of your blood, he gets anxious hurting you and feeding from you in a way that could potentially harm you if he takes too much. he prefers to feed from you in… other ways.
-he is COLD to the touch, so he has a bad habit of snuggling up to you and putting his hands under your shirt to get warm. vampires can only feel warmth when touching humans or consuming blood, so let’s just say he’s very touchy.
-he’s been alone for centuries, forcing himself into a life of solitude out of fear that he would be hunted down, or that he would hurt someone. so when you, the cutest human he’s ever seen wants to spend time with him, he gets clingy and FAST
-Kurapika is so clingy, following you around at night and watching over you. you end up changing your sleep schedule a bit so you can be up with him more often, since he rests during the day. he doesn’t sleep, but gets a bit lethargic and wouldn’t be in the mood for anything but cuddles. so if you want you want to do any sort of activity with him, it has to happen in the evening to the early morning when he’s awake and energized
-again, this man is clingy and he is TOUCH STARVED!! he wants constant attention and affection, even if he’s a bit shy asking for it. he’s been alone for so long, and he loves you so much! please give him all the snuggles and kisses he wants :(
-his protective and possessive tendencies border on yandere. you’re his treasure, his precious little angel, he won’t let anyone take you away from him.
-he has a few cat like behaviors. first, he purrs! it’s so cute, but don’t point it out or he’ll become self conscious. another thing he does is knead at any of your soft spots, like your tummy or thighs. anything that’s nice and soft and perfect for squishing! he also tends to curl up with your forehead warmth like a cat as well :3
NSFW
-This man… period sex… ugh…
-he was absolutely terrified at the thought of losing control and feeding on you, so when he smelled the delicious aroma of blood on you in the middle of the night he panicked. he tore off your clothes to find the wound and try to help you before his mind was taken over by his thirst… and found the source. your pretty pussy was drenched in blood. he wasn’t an idiot, he knew what a period was, and he was just awestruck at the lovely sight before him.
-safe to say he ate your pussy well into the night, giving you gently kitten licks and soft sucks to your clit. you woke up with the pain in your abdomen feeling slightly better, and your boyfriend looking up at you from your pussy adoringly. “so good… mmph…” he purred, his mouth and chin covered in blood.
-not only is he scared to drink from you, he was also scared to have sex with you. he sees you as an angel, a pure being, and having sec with a creature of the night such as him was an act of sin. it didn’t take long for him to sink his cock into you after you begging and whining for it, but he felt bad after :( he got over it, though, when he saw how cute you looked with that satisfied smile on your face
-he makes love, and is always putting your pleasure first. he can be a bit rough and forget his strength when he fucks into you for the first few times, but he’s never had sex, and all those centuries alone really wear down on a man :( he just wants you so bad, his vampire instincts telling him to stuff you full of his cum to make more little vampires
-all he wants is to make you happy. he adores you, and your face, fucked out and satisfied turns him on to no end. you just look so cute all full of his cum!
#vampire!kurapika#period smut#x reader#requests open#anime x reader#headcanon#reader insert#hxh x reader#hxh imagines#smut requests#hunter x hunter x reader#kurapika smut#kurapika x reader#vampire smut#kurapika x y/n#kurapika x you#hunter x hunter smut#smut headcanons#x reader smut#smut fanfiction#hxh headcanons#hxh hcs#hunter x hunter headcanons#anime x chubby reader#chubby!reader#chubby reader#fem reader#fem!reader#female reader
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A fun question popped into my head while I was watching old twisted wonderland gacha videos.
What would happen if other Twisted Wonderland characters overbloted ?
How difficult would it be to deal with them ?
How would their unique magic work in this state ?
So I have decided to make a list of headcanons for all of the non-overblot NRC students answering those questions.
Heartslabyul
Ace Trappola ❤️ :
-considering the fact that he doesn’t have his unique magic yet, he would be less difficult to deal with then others.
- But his wind magic could make things get out of hand so he still remains a threat.
- There’s not much I can say about him tbh.
Deuce Spade ♠️ :
- Already more of a problem than Ace !
- Not only is he more used to fighting without magic.
- But his Unique Magic [Bet the limit] would allow him to stock up all the damage dealt to him only to send it back to his attacker twofold.
- You would have to BET your life every time you attacked him, the only way to stop him would be to keep hitting him and hope you beat him before he releases your attacks back to you.
Cater Diamond ♦️ :
- 1 overblot is already bad.
- Now imagine that Overblot duplicating itself, all of its copies having the same abilities as the original.
- Cater’s [Split Card] boosted by the Phantom would make him an absolute nightmare.
- And he’s also pretty skilled in magic due to him being a third year.
- Let’s not forget that Cater canonically beat Floyd with his Unique Magic, He is not messing around !
Trey Clover 🍀 :
- ALSO A MASSIVE PROBLEM.
- Trey’ s [Doodle Suit] allows him to overwrite any element he chooses, including other people’s magic (As seen against Riddle’s overblot during Book 1).
- His Unique Magic is OP in this scenario especially when it is boosted by the Phantom.
- Imagine not being able to do anything at all against Trey, if it’s THAT boosted even Malleus could potentially be weakened.
- Also a 3rd year like Cater so he is definitely more adept at using magic than a regular 1st or 2nd year.
(- side tangent : In the English Manga of Twisted Wonderland, Trey’s Unique Magic is called [Doodle Suit] in the 2nd volume but it’s changed to [Paint the roses] in the 3rd volume. Like, make up your mind.)
Savanaclaw
Ruggie Bucchi 🍩 :
- Remember when he could control an entire crowd of people with his Unique Magic after drinking a potion from Azul ?
- Imagine how many people he could control now that he has a constant buff from his Phantom…
- That is terrifying.
- He could use your friends and family as a meat shield, he could force you to kill them.
- If he overblots at least one person is going to die or be severely wounded.
Jack Howl 🐺 :
- Physically speaking, Jack could do a lot of damage.
- And he can definitely maul someone by transforming into a wolf with [Unleash Beast].
- But other than those, he would be similar to Ace in the way that he is not that OP compared to others.
Octavinelle
Jade & Floyd Leech 🦈 :
- Hear me out, they would definitely overblot at the same time.
- And there would be hell to pay.
- Jade’s [Shock the heart] won’t be useful in battle, but Floyd’s [Bind the heart] would allow all attacks to miss both him and Jade.
- And while you could potentially make that magic fail by making Floyd demotivated. Something tells me that Jade might be able to make sure THAT doesn’t happen.
- They have been working together since they were born and have survived a brutal ocean. They can work together almost perfectly (as seen in the Octavinelle book)
- I also believe that they would revert back to their mer-form like Azul did and therefore be just as fast on land as they are in the sea.
(- also it’s implied that Jade chose Floyd out of all his siblings and both of them either killed/canibalized or let their siblings die. The Ocean is its own kind of unforgiving jungle.)
Scarabia
Kalim Al-Asim 🔱 :
-Kalim’s overblot would be sad not because of his backstory but because unlike the others overblots.
- He would (un)consciously use his Unique Magic [Oasis Maker] (a symbol of life) to drown both himself and everyone else.
- After all he can fill up an entire dried river while using very little magic, imagine that paired with the Phantom Boost.
- He would probably overblot because of guilt or pent up sadness and that would lead him to…
Flood the whole world with his tears.
Pomefiore
Rook Hunt 🪶:
- While not physically dangerous, Rook is an excellent hunter and manipulator.
- He knows almost everything about everyone.
- He knows how they look, how they act, who they cherish most and what their weaknesses are.
- His objective would probably be to capture every person that he finds ‘beautiful’ and to try and keep them by his side forever like precious art pieces.
- FULL ON YANDERE
- Worst part is his Unique Magic [I see you] allows him to know EXACTLY where you are. And you won’t know if you you have been targeted by him since it’s magical signature is extremely weak.
- It also works on objects !
- Even if you manage to hide somewhere he can’t reach, he could still use a family member or another loved one to lure you out.
- He’s not scary because he is super-powerful, he is scary because he knows exactly what you are going to do and how to exploit your weaknesses.
Epel Felmier 🍎 :
— While normally he wouldn’t too threatening due to him being a weaker magician than Vil.
- His Unique Magic [Sleep Kiss] allows him to trap people/robots into crystal coffins that make the victim fall asleep.
- They would be forever trapped inside a glass coffin making them unable to be hurt but also unable to stop Epel.
- The only saving grace is that Epel’s Unique Magic has a 75% hit rate. So there’s a 25% chance that he misses. It’s better than nothing !
Ignihyde
They technically both overbloted. So….next.
Diasomnia
Lilia Vanrouge 🦇 :
- Him overblotting would probably make all of his magic come back as if he was in his prime.
- And Lilia is scary powerful to begin with but he can potentially go toe to toe with Malleus if he has both his experience as well as his original magical and physical abilities (as seen in Book 7).
- His Unique Magic wouldn’t be very useful in this case but he is still a very big threat to everyone around him while he’s in Overblot.
Silver (Vanrouge) 🗡️ :
- Similar to Jack in the sense that…
- While he is physically powerful (swordsmanship and being taught by Lilia) and is probably extremely adept at using magic.
- I don’t think he is too much of a threat since his Unique Magic [Meet in a dream] only works if he’s asleep and won’t affect anyone who is awake.
- So unless his Unique Magic somehow becomes like Malleus (makes everyone fall asleep/ traps everyone in a dream) or he overblots while everyone is asleep.
- He won’t be too much of a threat unlike others.
Sebek Zigvolt 🐊 :
- While less powerful than Silver and less adept at magic (according to book 7 anyway).
- Sebek’s [ Living Bolt] would make him a bit more threatening due to his Unique Magic allowing him to turn his body into lightning allowing him to be faster and stronger.
- And while the boost will make it so he can use his magic for longer periods of time, I have no doubt that it would cause him so much pain that he would be weak enough to be defeated.
Here we are, my hand hurts and I spent two hours on this !
Feel free to add your own headcanons to this rant !
Have a good day/night !
#random#rant post#Twisted Wonderland#twisted wonderland manga#twisted wonderland overblot#headcanons#twst headcanons#ace trappola#deuce spade#cater diamond#trey clover#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#kalim angst#rook hunt#epel felmier#briefly mentioned Ignihyde#lilia vanrouge#silver twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#heartslabyul#savanaclaw#octavinelle#scarabia#pomefiore#diasomnia#my favorite characters are Trey Ruggie and Lilia
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Rip my heart, heal my soul Inside Alphabet
[ Jack the Ripper • modern!Aemond x female ]
Inside Alphabet for Aemond from my series Rip my heart, heal my soul after he met his girl, made for my one year celebration. Very dark content below.
A = Anger (do they get mad and how they react to it)
Before he met his sweet girl, rage, a sense of injustice and aggression accompanied him all the time. In fact, he took it out on his victims, feeling momentary peace, satisfaction and fatigue only when he killed them. However, the euphoric stage was too short-lived for his liking, so he had to quickly find new objects of interest to repeat the whole process.
When a woman was aggressive or rude to him, she could count on him to end her life even if she was not to his taste and he originally had no plan to do anything to her.
After he met her, his frustration and aggression subsided to practically zero. He replaced the adrenaline and endorphin that was secreted in his brain when he was killing with her constant closeness, both physical and spiritual. If he needed to get off, rough, violent sex would suffice, but the kind that wouldn't cause her any real harm. He would never want to hurt her.
B = Behavior (tics, reflexes, things specific to them)
His hands often tremble, usually from excitement or nerves, so he plays with, for example, a glass in his hand, a cloth slung over his shoulder, a cigarette, his jacket, anything to keep his fingers busy. He even feels a tickle in his fingertips when he thinks about killing. Apart from that, he talks to himself a lot under his breath when he thinks about something intensely.
C = Crying (whether they cry & do what when someone else cries)
He actually cries a lot, especially when he lets his consciousness take over for a while and he realises again what he has done to all these women. This knowledge crushes him and he becomes hysterical until she calms him down with her closeness, tenderness and warm words, even though he knows that he does not deserve to be comforted.
D = Despair (who they seek help from first)
When he panics, he calls her first before he does something stupid. He tries not to make any rash decisions before he talks to her. Often her voice alone and her soothing words calm him down and make him realise that the situation is not as bad as he feared.
E = Enemy (who they hate or argue with most often)
He hated women who reminded him of the girls who teased and mocked him in high school. There were several, but the worst was one of them, a dark-haired, petite, sweet girl who only pretended to be nice.
She flirted with a lot of boys, cheating on them, and made fun of him, saying that if he was desperate, she could take his virginity because he might never get the chance to make love to a woman with that appearance.
These words left a mark on him, completely killing his already low self-esteem. He began to exercise, changed his style of dress and conversation, and when he returned to school after the summer holidays, he found that she didn't recognise him until she saw his scar up close.
He felt a sense of power over her and satisfaction at the thought that she was now the one who followed him around and begged for his attention, the more he was secretive and withdrawn, the more he teased her, the more she was in love with him.
She was very insistent that they go to bed together, and when they finally did, she was not happy with how inexperienced he was. Her remarks and the look on her face full of disappointment enraged him so much that he strangled her with the string she used to tie her dress around her waist.
When she stopped moving he was terrified and tried to wake her up, however, in addition to the fear he also felt an immense satisfaction that this dumb bitch was no longer laughing.
She had mocked him and was now lying there with a blank stare, a fucking slut who deserved everything that had happened to her.
He decided afterwards that he wished he'd caused her more pain before he killed her, that he had said all those things to her that had been pressing to his lips.
His girlfriend reminded him a lot of her in some ways, so he had originally considered her the perfect target for his next victim, believing that she was simply faking it.
He tried to catch her in a lie, gossip or words she would normally be ashamed of if she didn't trust him, but his plan backfired a tad because he fell in love with her instead.
F = Friends (do they have and who they consider friends)
She is his only real friend.
G = Gifts (whether they like gifts and give them themselves)
He loves to make his sweet girl little presents, he knows what kind of buns she likes to eat so he always buys her fresh ones after work so she can eat them for dinner and in the morning before class, he buys her books, notebooks and anything he thinks she will find useful and enjoy, always excitedly waiting for her reaction.
When he gets gifts from her, when she turns out to have remembered his birthday or anniversary, he feels happy, ashamed and remorseful at the same time, thinking that after all he has done he does not deserve any presents, much less from her.
H = Hobby (what they do for pleasure in their free time)
Reading.
I = Idol (their role model)
In fact, she is his role model. Every day he watches her and learns from her how to deal with everyday problems and adversities in a calm and composed manner, at the same time filled with hope and reason. She is the one he counsels when he doesn't know how to solve his problem, not wanting to use violence any more, and he usually gets an answer from her that satisfies him and, in his mind, makes sense.
J = Jokes (how they react to jokes and if they laugh)
No joking. He doesn't even know how to do it. He laughs sometimes when she does something silly.
K = Kids (do they want to have them)
Some part of him would like to have a family, but he would be afraid that his children would be like him. He would also be afraid that he would then have to share his beloved, that a child would take her away from him to some extent. He knows that he is perhaps too possessive for that and would rather not risk it.
However, he would never force her to terminate the pregnancy if she decided that she wanted to keep the child. He would then try to deal with it somehow, but it would be very difficult for him because of what would be going on in his head.
L = Love (anything to do with falling in love)
Before he met her, he did not believe in love or that he was capable of it. He believed that he could not be loved and that women who bestow affection on him simply want to go to bed with him and fall in love with someone they have made up themselves, in some imagined version of him, rather than the monster he really was.
When he met her, however, it became apparent that something was beginning to happen inside him. He felt warmth at the sight of her as she crossed the door of the café, the rapid beating of his heart and the trembling of his hands as he handed her an order and exchanged a few words with her, the things he had learned about her and the articles she had written made some part of him want to get to know her instead of trying to drag her to bed, and once that happened he was unable to hurt her.
M = Manners (how they behave in formal situations)
He is cold and withdrawn. He hates talking to strangers and dies when he has to call the doctor or get anything done at the office. He begs her to do it for him, but she refuses, saying that he has to deal with such things on his own. He literally dies then, but he tries, for her. To make her proud of him.
N = Nightmare (their worst nightmare)
He often dreams that he wakes up next to her and she is lying beside him with empty eye sockets, covered in blood, dead. He doesn't remember anything, he can't believe that he did it, but he also sees traces of blood on his hands. He then wakes up, for real this time, and grabs her, begging her to say something, and she looks at him terrified, snapped out of a deep sleep, asking him if he's been having nightmares again.
Usually then he starts crying in relief, unable to even answer her question, sobbing hugged to her chest, and she embraces him and strokes his hair, whispering that everything is okay.
He dies of fear when she goes off somewhere alone and doesn't respond to his messages for too long. He's ready to quit mid-shift, get straight into the car and drive to wherever she is, just to make sure she's okay. He drives her crazy with his overprotectiveness.
He would be devastated if she broke up with him. He would be afraid he would do something to her in an act of desperation or go back to murdering again.
O = Origin (their childhood)
He grew up in a family where money was always in short supply. His father died when he was very young and his mother worked several shifts to support him and his siblings. When the terrible accident happened to him and he lost his eye, his mother could not afford the expensive treatment, so his scar did not heal as well as it could have.
For a long time he wore the cheapest glass eye, which looked awful and made other children afraid of him. It wasn't until he was in high school that he managed to get a refund from the country for a better one, one that is almost no different from a normal one.
P = Proximity (what they are like when they are intimate)
Before her, he associated proximity only with animalistic closeness and aggression, so he did not see it as anything pleasant or desirable.
Only when he met his girlfriend did he desire this closeness in a different way, wanting simply to touch her, feel her and experience fulfilment with her. It turned out that her touch, full of respect, warmth and care even calmed him down, and sex with her became his favourite way to relax.
Q = Quiz (whether they like to play and how)
He enjoys playing chess or other logic games.
R = Routine (do they have a daily routine and what is it)
He always sets himself a routine for the day, which he sticks to and which his girlfriend knows he hates when someone disorganises it for him. They have agreed that they will always set all changes in advance and try not to surprise each other with anything unless something happens that neither of them had control over.
He didn't resent her when she became unwell and he had to take her to the doctor even though he should have been at work, it is obvious that her and his wellbeing are of utmost importance to him.
S = Safety (whether and where they feel safe)
He only feels safe when he sleeps cuddled up against her breasts in their bed, making sure he has locked the door on both locks beforehand.
T = Touch (who they allow to touch and how)
Only she can touch him. He loves her hands, the way she touches his bare skin with them, his chest, his cheeks, his shoulders, when she kisses him, or when she comes close and embraces him from behind at the waist.
In the case of any other person, he tenses up all over and pulls away, furious, thinking that this is a right meant only for the woman he loves. When any strange woman touches him he bursts into a rage, he then snorts for air and counts to thirty, waiting for the wave of anger to pass away.
U = Unforgivable (things they would not forgive)
Lying.
He would never forgive her if she lied to him, even if it was some small thing. He would rather she say she doesn't know something or isn't sure than say something that would later turn out not to be true. He often checks what she says with the facts and is relieved every time her words are confirmed. He trusts her, but at the same time he is still afraid that she will start hiding something from him.
Betrayal.
I don't even have to write what he would do then. He would kill her first and then himself.
V = Vengeance (whether they are vengeful and how)
He is very vindictive and only her pleas and requests make him let strangers off the hook for certain things. He is very easily annoyed or offended and often winning his forgiveness is impossible.
W = Warderobe (what they wear, what style they have)
He dresses simply but elegantly. He loves fitted, dark jumpers and turtlenecks worn with black trousers.
Y = Yearning (whether they yearn and how they express it)
He dies of longing when she goes out somewhere alone with her friends. He lets her do it because he knows she needs it, but he wants to cry then. He is emotionally unstable and sees the very worst scenarios in his mind − above all that something will happen to her.
He constantly craves her, when she is tired several days in a row he starts to worry that she doesn't love him anymore, that he has done something wrong. Usually when she comes back to strength she shows him how wrong he was and then he feels that wonderful, overpowering relief again, which passes every time he has to separate from her again.
His dream would be to die lying in bed with her, cuddled up against her naked body, with his manhood deep inside her, his nose filled with her scent, listening to her calm breathing.
Z = Zone (their comfort zone)
He feels comfort when he is with her in their flat. This is where he's calm and composed and does not feel any frustration or anger.
When he goes outside and has contact with strangers he feels threatened, even more so when she is next to him and he has to worry about her too.
He then holds her hand in his to make sure he doesn't lose her somewhere among the crowds, watching the people around them like a guard, protecting her in his mind from other people like him.
#aemond headcanon#aemond headcanons#dark aemond headcanons#dark aemond#dark aemond targaryen#dark aemond x reader#dark aemond smut#dark aemond angst#aemond smut#aemond angst#modern aemond#modern aemond smut#modern aemond angst#aemond targaryen smut#aemond fanfiction#aemond targaryen#aemond x oc#hotd aemond#prince aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x you#aemond fic#aemond one eye#prince aemond#aemond x original female character#aemond x original character#aemond x female#aemond fanfic#hotd fanfiction#hotd fic#hotd fanfic
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Howl I'm thinking about Nightmare's gang being a cult again.
Just how fucked up is it that Killer had to go through that twice? First with the Something New Player rewiring how his brain works entirely, while Chara meticulously breaks down his boundaries and reworking his identity until only they could decide who he is. Only for Nightmare to do exactly the same once Killer finally killed them.
And not only that, but now he has to watch as the same exact thing happens to others. And Stage 2 can push for apathy as much as they want to try and protect them from that crushing realization, but eventually it's gonna hit. Eventually Killer's brain is gonna let its thoughts wander in that direction because boredom is always gonna be the greatest threat for it. And then Killer will wish he'd never done that, because this whole time he's kinda been complicit in their indoctrination.
But, then again, by then he doesn't really know another way to live. He knows that once he broke free of Chara's very similar conditioning, but he doesn't have a concrete idea of what could come next. He doesn't know what life outside a cultish structure looks like and that makes the prospect of ever leaving terrifying.
I think Color coming in and showing him that there is a possible future out there for him is the saving grace he needed all along. And also the push he'll need to get the others out too. Because he's definitely not gonna let them leave for as long as he doesn't see an exit. Whether they hate him or not for it.
It is extremely fucked up. And that’s why I’ll keep saying that Something New is a psychological horror until someone eventually starts writing a fic about it. /lh
And the realization that hits is still very likely going to be tinged with that deep seated apathy that chara reinforced. I can’t see killer breaking out of his belief that he’s emotionless, that emotions are signs of being weak and that attachments are threats to his autonomy and independence, for many many years, with a lot of set backs, and I can’t see it happening when he’s under nightmare.
I don’t really think killer has broken free from chara’s conditioning—despite how much he’d like to claim he is free now that they’re dead. Because they cant be dead when their voice still rings in his mind, and their eyes still watch him everywhere he goes. A constant lurking shadow.
Chara never died, killer never escaped. they just became more elusive.
I think there’s still a lot going on in killer mind he doesn’t realize is conditioning, such as his belief in his emotionlessness. His kill or be killed, controlled or be controlled mentality. Even the reason why he turned on chara was still within the confines of what they taught him—the most determined decides fate, the strongest controls the weakest, and he had no need for them anymore. and so he will make them suffer.
with nightmare, i do think he wont even realize or care what’s happening to the others—because its just how things work. not until color comes along, showing him that things don’t have to be like that. before that, i can see killer helping only in ways that would benefit or amuse him, or whenever nightmare tells him to help someone—because he doesn’t think theyd ever willingly help him if it came down to it.
but if he realized somehow before color comes along—because he definitely wouldn’t take into consideration anything horror, murder, or cross have to say about it because they are apart of the weak/the controlled and they’re just struggling to realize that. it is inevitable, and it’s pointless to try and change it. or at least that’s his justification for avoiding any responsibility.
but i can see any attempts to “help” them being tainted by his worldview and what he’s been taught; such as teaching them how and when to avoid upsetting nightmare, teaching them the rules of the place, trying to teach them when to go to limp and stop resisting, how to learn how to enjoy the pain of themselves or of others. best ways to torture others, and how to “go away inside” if they truly can’t handle it.
and he definitely wouldn’t let them leave unless nightmare says so, which is unlikely. In his mind this place in castle can be learned and then eventually become predictable, they’d struggle outside of the castle because of who they are and what they do. that’s really the only kindness he knows how to give.
..i can definitely see spiting the Chara in his head for being a huge motivation for certain more “merciful” or “kinder” things. just to prove to himself they don’t have control over him anymore, and to spite them even beyond the grave.
{ @stellocchia }
#howlsasks#stellocchia#cw cults#cw conditioning#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer sans#killer!sans#undertale au#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare’s gang#color spectrum duo#color sans#murder sans#horror sans#cross sans#cross!sans#murder!sans#horror!sans#nightmare!sans#nightmare sans#something new chara#killer and chara#murder time trio#something new sans#horrortale sans#othertale sans#dustale sans
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Recent thoughts on Transgenderism
Tumblr, I think it’s time we approach the gender talk.
I’ve been very angry at liberals since about 2022. Before that (2019-2021) I was terrified of them. I grew up as a liberal in a very liberal area. I knew one moderate conservative. All I’ve known is liberal perspectives and ideologies for most of my life. I went to Evergreen State college for years (super senior). I lived in the epicenter of woke.
I’m not going to be a liberal ever again. Being around a lot of liberals, like in a city, makes me nervous. That’s how bad things have been in my little world. All the bridges have been burnt and every knife has somehow found its way into my back. I’ve since taken them out and re-calibrated my expectations.
Still, I have gender issues. They’ve gotten a lot better. And gender shit is still consuming society for no real reason other than to spread misery it seems.
Because of how horrifically poorly liberal society handles the issue of transsexualism and transgenderism, I’m scared to share the new insights I’ve made regarding gender dysphoria. The way the left fetishizes and commodifies mental illness is truly disturbing. The teenage impulse to commandeer and mimic mental illness for attention is never discouraged at any point. Not even in fully grown adults.
If I tell you what I’ve discovered, I’m afraid you will destroy yet another portion of the DSM in a misguided attempt to validate me. It is not validating. You are harming people. I needed the DSM to figure out what was happening. I needed psychologists to push back on my impulses. I’m glad they did. They can no longer do so without fear of being slandered as transphobic.
I look at the work you’ve done on behalf of the trans community and it reads as a collection of demons trying their best to fix society.
So yeah.
I like Tumblr for reasons other than politics. I don’t really want to talk about politics on here all that much. But this national gender dysphoria the younger generations all seem to have is hard to ignore. It can also be offensive. I’ve felt as offended by Zoomers and Alphas trying to be inclusive as I did from Gen X trying to hurt my feelings. So that’s been a fun little discovery I’ve made about myself and the world. Maybe you just can’t escape it. It’s part of life either way. And if you’re fucking around with gender, it’s inevitable. Maybe constant offense needs to happen just to make this demented form of self-expression that less attractive. Because a trans identity is not an attractive endeavor. It doesn’t make for attractive men and women. If you must do it, you need a thick skin just to look at yourself in the mirror let alone to hear what anyone else has to say about it. It’s signing up for a lifetime of disappointment and can only be explained through mental illness.
To conclude, what I found behind the mental illness was even more mental illness. Given liberals’ inclination to celebrate, imitate, and capitalize on mental illness, I don’t think it would be wise for me to tell you about what I did to make the pain of gender dysphoria go away.
What I will tell you is that I had to recognize that I suffered incredible abuse growing up. Truly exceptional abuse. I’ve been studying books on the matter on and off for about four years now. I had to learn a lot of new things and it was very overwhelming at first. It changed how I saw myself and even how I view reality. It’s been quite a journey.
None of the resources I used were made by anyone in the trans community. None whatsoever. All the people who helped me wrote their books in saner times. Your big gay trans social justice movement didn’t help me one bit. Just like feminism has never really helped me personally. Because exceptional people don’t need a parade to get their foot in the door.
Whenever I get close to woke people, I get nervous. I’ve gotten better at sensing that malevolent energy. Since I grew up with it, it took some time to suss it out. It took a massive fuck up, followed up with sticking to my convictions, to feel about fifty knives in my back before it finally sank in.
A lot of damage has been done and yet there are people under the left’s banner I could still care for. People who make uplifting art that has truly helped me. If I hadn’t found them, I wouldn’t have bothered writing this. So I guess this is for the innocent, the clueless, the kind.
I would only consider seriously talking about gender dysphoria with the public if and only if the DSM once again recognizes transsexualism and transgenderism as mental illnesses and the American Psychological Association allows its practitioners to discourage transitioning.
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Presence (Twilight x GN!Reader) 🖤✨
A/N: Two fics in the same 24 hours??? Am I okay??? Yes, I'm on vacation. I have energy to write lmao. Eat it up while you can folks. Enjoy! 💖💖💖💖💖
TW: Mentions of depression, self-isolation and general stress on the reader.
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Twilight noticed you'd been a little... off lately. A lot of things had happened over the last few days, and everyone was a bit on edge; the whole team being ambushed around almost every turn, you having trouble keeping up due to some kind of medical issue he wasn't understanding (which terrified him, of course, though he'd struggle to hide it for fear of overwhelming you), and not to mention Wars' and Legend's near constant bickering over trivial matters due to all the stress... But your breaking point seemed to come when the postman delivered a letter to you.
He'd watched as you read it, everyone else watching on as well as it seemed like the emotion drained from your very being. It worried him beyond words. His heart shattered at the sight of you so visibly... emotionally numb. And he'd asked if you were alright, but he knew he could only do so much-- he'd never want to push you.
So instead, he did what he thought was best: he managed to convince the Old Man to let the chain stay at an inn for a few days to give you time to recover from... whatever was going on with you. Twilight soon learned that even though Time didn't show it, he also seemed troubled by your sudden change in demeanor.
He was very thankful now more than ever that the Old Man was a good one at heart. If he hadn't been, the Rancher knew he wouldn't have let you rest.
So here they sit, him and the Old Man, together with the rest of the chain in the inn's dining hall for dinner. The only empty chair was yours, he noted with growing anxiety. You hadn't shown your face all day today...
"...Are they still asleep?" Time questioned him softly. "...This isn't good. They shouldn't be alone when they're feeling like this... It only serves to make things worse in the long run," he sighs.
Twilight nodded. He knew you had a habit of isolating when you weren't feeling your usual self, but... skipping all three meals today was unacceptable. He stood from the table suddenly, without finishing his own food; he'd been so worried about you he couldn't eat much of it anyway.
"I'm... I'm gonna go check on 'em," he states firmly, unable to mask the concern in his voice.
To his surprise, the Old Man didn't try to stop him; Time simply nodded, speaking softly.
"...Why don't you fix them a plate and bring it up? I know they may not want to eat, but even something is better than nothing. They need their strength..."
The Rancher nodded again, fixing you a a decent portion and bringing it up to your room.
When he reached your room, the one that the Old Man was kind enough to let you share with Sky (someone he knew wouldn't bother you)... He paused, his ears twitching slightly at the sound of soft sobs coming from the other side. His heart broke, and a lump formed in his throat; he was so worried about you. He hated to see you in such a state... Nevertheless, he knocked softly.
"(Y/n)? ...Can I come in...?"
The crying hushed immediately, and your shaky voice reached his ears. "W-What do you want...?"
He paused, trying to think of the best way to respond.
"...(Y/n), we're worried about you, darlin'. Can I come in please?"
...Silence. He sighed; he knew he shouldn't barge in on you, but--
"...Fine..."
He let out a sigh of relief at your answer. He opened the door softly, carrying the plate of still-warm food; the room was dark. No lights, the curtains were drawn... Oh, you poor thing, he thinks to himself.
"...I'm turnin' on the light, sweet thing," he says, flicking on the light and watching as your figure huddles deeper under the blanket. He sighs, setting the food down on the nightstand and taking a seat beside you on the bed.
"...Can I ask what's been goin' on with you lately? You've been so sad, and it worries me to see you like this, hun. It worries all of us..." he says softly, placing his hand on your hair and rubbing the top of your head softly with his thumb.
He could've sworn your voice broke a little as you speak again in a softer tone than ever. "...I don't wanna talk about it..."
He sighs, but nods. "...That's okay, darlin'. I won't push you to talk if you don't want to..." he mumbles, still stroking your hair.
"...Can I at least stay here for a bit? I haven't seen your pretty face all day, sweetums."
He hears you sniffle, but he can see you nod. It's hard to make out at first, with your figure huddled deeply under the comforter, but he smiles when he realizes you'd said yes.
He shifts, now sitting cross-legged on the bed beside you, his hand remaining on your head. He sighs, thinking about what he could do to make you feel better.
...He'd be lying if he said he didn't wish you were roomed with him for the night. He wants to make sure you're okay, but he also knows that Sky is perfectly capable of being there for you should you want it.
...And he says 'want', because goddesses know you definitely need it.
"...You feel like eatin'?" he asks softly, voice remaining low as he leans a little closer. He sighs again when he hears you mumble a weak "Not really..."
"...Yeah, I figured..."
He sighs for what now has to be the eighteenth time. He wants you to eat; he knows you haven't all day, and it's past 5 PM now...
"...I know you don't want to, doll, but... could you at least take a little bite? For me? Pretty please?" he asks as sweetly as he can muster.
He hears you sigh, and for a split second he's worried he's pushed you too far; but to his pleasant surprise, you sit up, reaching for the plate.
Heh. Can't say no to me, can you lovebug?
He smiles; the way your hair's all messy and the tired look on your face makes you cute, but in a heart-breaking sort of way. He watches intently as you slowly pick up the fork, poking at the food; and his smile grows more as you finally take a bite.
He places his hand back on the top of your head. "Good pup," he chuckles softly, laughing a little more as you huff at him.
You must've finally realized you were hungry, because he sits in silence for several minutes as you manage to finish off a little more than half the plate.
"There you go," he says softly with a tender smile. "Feelin' a little better?"
You nod, setting the plate back on the nightstand and pulling the blanket back up to your shoulders.
"...You're free to go back to sleep if you want, darlin'. I just wanted to check up on you," he says, subconsciously leaning a little closer to your face as his hand drops to your shoulder. "...Do you want me to stay here, or should I leave?"
"You can stay..." you say softly. He's overjoyed at your response, grinning like a lovestruck dumbass (because he totally is. Not that he's admitting it or anything. Not at all.)
"...I can do that. But you're cuddlin' with me whether you like it or not, lovebug."
He laughs as you huff again, rolling your eyes this time. "Fine..."
His grin only grows, lying down and pulling you down with him. Gently, he pulls your head onto his chest, resting his hand on the top of your head as he noses your hair.
"See? I'm not so bad," he chuckles softly.
"I guess not..." you sigh, and he runs his finger through your hair.
"...Don't worry, sweet thing. Sometimes you just need someone else to take care of you when you can't do it yourself....
"...And I'll be that person if you'll just let me. Don't worry your pretty little head about a thing, darlin'. I'm here..." he says tenderly, stroking your hair.
He's so warm and his presence is so comforting, it's not long before you're on the verge of sleep again. A soft chuckle rumbles in his chest.
The last thing you note in your half-asleep state, is that you could've sworn you felt his lips on your forehead.
"Sleep, little lovebug. I'll be here when you wake up."
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Tagging friends so they see and maybe are proud of me lmao
@trippygalaxy @the-cucco-nuggie (you might like this one. I know how much you like hylian jacob black from twilight)
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First of all, I need to express my love for you and how grateful I am for your deep understanding of Lupin and Snape's characters. You're the first person I see that loves them both while also acknowledging their flaws and not trying to sugarcoat Lupin's toxicity (again, thank you)
Secondly, it is because of your great comprehension towards them that I'd like to see your opinion on this. We don't talk enough about Lupin's shitty and completely uncalled for behaviour towards Snape during PoA (and just how well Snape handles it, because God knows most people would have snapped, and he had more reasons than anyone to do so, but only intervened when CHILDREN'S safety was compromised)
What do you think would've happened in a world where, instead of taking Lupin's bullying and mocking during PoA, he returns it just as smoothly and doesn't just let the man walk over him? What of an alternative universe where Snape just says "you know what? Fuck it, I'm a loser but you're no better" and despite still being terrified afraid of Lupin, he also resents him and subtly puts him back in his place every time he pulls the usual shit? (While also keeping his distance because he doesn't want that man anywhere near him)
Would have Lupin gotten angry? Would he get cold feet and keep the distance too because he can't handle Snape actually fighting back? Would this turn into a toxic asf enemies to lovers dynamic with all the passive-agressive exchanges, backhanded compliments and constant fight for dominance in the situation?
Seriously, love your blog 💕 Hope you're well and thriving
Thankyou for the love :') I love the boys, and without their complex layers of toxicity and trauma the boys just wouldn't be The Boys anymore. Lupin's softness is nothing without his sharp edges after all. Its been awhile since I read PoA. Its the next one i'm reading to my boyfriend. But this is a really interesting fic idea!!! Such a small change - but potential big consequences...? Remus is a coward, but in PoA he was spoiled with getting his own way - and things generally went really well for him. I flicked through some of the chapters where they interact, so this isn't perfect - but what if Snape did snap back every time Remus tried to press him...? He was told to keep the werewolf's secret - not to allow himself to be bullied again. ((This this turned into a looooong look into their dynamic. Oopsy.))
Remus Lupin and the Nasty Man who Wont Let Things be Easy for Him
Chapter 7,
Remus arrives ~fashionably late~ to class so he can surprise the kids: 'only bring your wands (no lame textbooks) for a practical.' He is confident, a little playful - dealing with Peeves effortlessly. (His father specialized in things like poltergeists and boggarts, after all.) The kids think he is cool! He already knows all their names! He is glowing with pride just to be there. So adorable I love him. He has 100% been bouncing on his heels with nerves and excitement to teach this lesson. There is no way he was ACTUALLY late - he just wanted to appear aloof.
He wants to be cool - and fun - and comforting - and safe: Why else have the first lesson be getting the kids to face the scariest thing they can imagine under HIS warm protection...? Albus is definitely his role model - they have the same manipulation tactics. Very different to Snapes 'get it right or else' lesson beforehand. He is safe. He is SO safe. He is The Safest Man. He's learned all their names already, isn't that nice of him?? Now he can learn all their fears, too - and he can soothe them!!! How well planned, Mr Lupin… Warm, soft, fluffy Mr. Lupin. So capable and so sweet… He could NEVER be a monster! Nobody will EVER suspect he is a monster...
As Professor Lupin came in and made to close the door behind him, Snape said, ‘Leave it open, Lupin. I’d rather not witness this.’ He got to his feet and strode past the class, his black robes billowing behind him. At the doorway he turned on his heel and said, ‘Possibly no one’s warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear.’ Neville went scarlet. Harry glared at Snape; it was bad enough that he bullied Neville in his own classes, let alone doing it in front of other teachers. Professor Lupin had raised his eyebrows. ‘I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation,’ he said, ‘and I am sure he will perform it admirably.’ Neville’s face went, if possible, even redder. Snape’s lip curled, but he left, shutting the door with a snap.
Though Snape was still being nasty about the previous lesson - this was a HELPFUL comment more than it was a jeer at Neville. He almost didn't say anything at all - but turned on his heel at the last second. He knows Remus was irresponsible with danger in his youth and is new to teaching. So he gives him a tip: 'Longbottom is difficult to manage. Granger is capable and trustworthy. Pair them together if you must.'
...Honestly he was basically setting Lupin up to look good. Anything Remus said would have seemed lovely, even a terse "Yes, well, thankyou Professor. We will see about that." ...But Lupin politely and confidently spat back. Always politely. He wasn't rude to Snape, but the meaning was clear: 'Back off, Severus. I decide what my students can handle.'
Snape's lip curled. (That's his version of a sneering little smile) 'Oh yeah? Good luck with that.' The amount of body language these men talk through, both masters of hiding their intentions and emotions with masks - they fence with words and actions.
How could Snape snap back without seeming like he was lashing out...? Remus bullies by asserting dominance in a way that makes others seem like they're being mean to gentle widdle Wupin if they retaliate, or are being silly if they defend themselves. Remus is desperate for his students to have confidence in him. To think of him as their sweet savior. To soothe his worries of posing a danger to them, of being rejected, of being suspected…
Snape’s lip curled. "…Then I wish you good luck, Mr. Wolf." he drawled as he left, shutting the door with a snap.
…Maybe that treads the line of what he is allowed to say. Remus would scramble to Dumbledore's office in a panic, to get him to warn Severus not to play silly games... but he would have to do that later, in secret - away from the kids. In the immediate - he would stammer to remind them: "Of course, Lupin means 'Wolf' in French… Snape is just making a little joke!" But god, what a way to knock him off-balance-!
I don't think it will change how the lesson goes. If anything, Lupin will be more keen to push Neville to humiliate Snape via his Boggart. Especially knowing he will soon be seeing Snape's lip curl in triumph as he gets told off by Dumbledore - because Remus snitched. How humiliating, getting a 'teacher' involved. (They're little boys at heart.) There is nothing Snape likes more than humiliating a bully. Every time 'Boggart' is mentioned Snape has the sweet memory of seeing Lupin look so pathetic in-front of Dumbledore, his role model. Every time a kid calls him 'Mr Wolf' as a joke... Remus will have to pretend he 'doesn't mind much', but gently insist they use his real name, please. He will know to tread carefully around Severus.
Chapter 8,
Harry is at a low point emotionally. He is having a good chat with Lupin, who seems to understand him better than other teachers. Though, Lupin is still speaking vaguely, making allusions - much like Dumbledore.
'Sit down,’ said Lupin, taking the lid off a dusty tin. ‘I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid – but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?’ Harry looked at him. Lupin’s eyes were twinkling. ‘How did you know about that?’ Harry asked.
If it didn't say 'Lupin' you'd 100% believe Albus said that - complete with twinkling eyes and an awestruck Harry. ((This is making me wanna do a whole thing comparing how Albus and Remus act)) Anyway - In this cozy atmosphere, where Remus is enjoying being the object of Harry's awe, and not telling him he was his parents' close friend...
He was interrupted by a knock on the door. ‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape set the smoking goblet down, his eyes wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. ‘Fascinating,’ said Snape, without looking at it. ‘You should drink that directly, Lupin.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will,’ said Lupin. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘If you need more.’ ‘I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus.’ ‘Not at all,’ said Snape, but there was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. He backed out of the room, unsmiling and watchful. Harry looked curiously at the goblet. Lupin smiled.
Aka. Severus walks into the beasts den and finds a pup. Have you ever seen Severus act so polite? So appeasing? So... dare I say... submissive? Even Harry knew something was up - worried Snape was acting meek because he was trying to POISON Remus. (Only in his dreams.)
And Remus-! All smiles! Harry is looking into the goblet? SMILE! 'I was showing HARRY, who is here in my office with us RIGHT NOW, my Grindylow! ...Oh, 'my' potion? Yes, yes... how kind. Lovely. Marvelous. Please and Thankyou and GET OUT.' Antsy. On edge. Calm twinkling eyes are now jaw-clenching smiles.
Lupin drained the goblet and pulled a face. ‘Disgusting,’ he said. ‘Well, Harry, I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you at the feast later.’
'How lovely Severus is to brew this innocent potion! I shall drink it now! Teehee, its a bit yucky~ Anyway Harry YOU SHOULD LEAVE.'
He just made the boy some tea, ready to have a heart-to-heart... and because Severus came in with his wolfsbane: screaming internally. On any other day, with any other person, Severus would have struck his pitchfork right into his chest and turned him over like hay. They are both defensive here. Cats circling each-other. Severus is SO spooked due to it being close to the Full Moon, entering a private room with Remus - and now having to speak carefully because The Lad is there - he just allows Remus to be the boss 'Yes, sir - on the desk? Of course...' He just wants to leave. No waxing gibbous werewolf temper. Adios.
...What about a Severus that see's Remus' fear of not being in control of the information in the room - of having Harry ask questions? How about he uses his own discomfort to fuel being a little bugger?
‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape walked up to desk, his eyes curiously wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. 'Right here would be marvelous.' He patted the the edge of the desk furthest from Harry with his fingertips. ‘...I rather think you should drink it now.’ said Snape, ignoring it completely. ‘Your little chat can wait till you recover, surely.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will-’ Lupin seemed a little flustered. His eyes darted to Harry's, and for a moment he thought he could see fear. Harry's stomach dropped a little as he peered curiously at the goblet. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘Since you will be needing more than this for your... particular condition-’ ‘Yes, Thankyou, Severus.' Lupin spoke firmer now, cutting him off. Harry had never seen his gaze look so sharp. 'I'll take more tomorrow, then.’ There was an odd standoff between them. Snape's head tilted as he opened his hand for the goblet, but kept his distance. The edge of Lupin's smile strained for a moment before he tipped the strange, steaming brew back and started to drink. Harry had a mad urge to knock the goblet out of his hands. ‘Ugh... Pity sugar makes it useless...’ he almost choked taking one last hurried gulp, leaning to hand the smoking goblet over. ‘Indeed. A pity.’ said Snape, lip curling into a smug hook. There was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. 'Potter - I highly recommend you leave the Professor alone now to rest.' He turned sharply, cloak flowing behind him as he left. The smoke left a funny smell in his wake. Harry looked to Lupin. There was so much to say he was tongue tied! Does he warn him that Snape wants his job? Does he ask about the potion? A part of him even wanted to comfort his teacher. Adults didn't usually have this much trouble with Snape... ‘Well, Harry, he is right - I’ve been feeling a bit off-colour recently. I’ll see you at the feast later.’ Lupin stood quickly, gesturing him to leave. ‘...Right,’ said Harry, putting his empty teacup down.
I think, if anything, Harry being there would have made Severus bolder. Remus, at the end of the day, can't bring himself to start fights. To refuse to drink the potion would make him look like a child. Rather than seeming like he has a foot up on Snape he now seems a little... pathetic. Infront of the boy he wanted to impress.
Severus is cornering Remus to drain his confidence. He isn't threatening to out him - but he is speaking as if he might, keeping Remus on his toes while staying completely innocent. He is playing Remus' game against him, and is better at it. He has the advantage of far less to hide - and far less to prove.
Chapter 14,
This is the one where Remus and Snape have their grand sparring match about the Marauders Map, but I wanted to add something to what Snape says to Harry beforehand:
‘What did you say to me, Potter?’ ‘I told you to shut up about my dad!’ Harry yelled. ‘I know the truth, all right? He saved your life! Dumbledore told me! You wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for my dad!’ Snape’s sallow skin had gone the colour of sour milk. ‘And did the Headmaster tell you the circumstances in which your father saved my life?’ he whispered. ‘Or did he consider the details too unpleasant for precious Potter’s delicate ears?’ Harry bit his lip. He didn’t know what had happened and didn’t want to admit it – but Snape seemed to have guessed the truth. ‘I would hate you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter,’ he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. ‘Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you – your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn’t got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts.’ Snape’s uneven, yellowish teeth were bared.
I think Snape would actually be surprised that Lupin hadn't told Harry anything about his father. That HE had told him more about James than ANYONE else had bothered to! He would have expected Harry would now know all sorts of stories where they humiliated him... Unless maybe that was part of a deal? He doesn't talk about werewolves - Remus doesn't talk about his past...? Regardless - I don't think Snape would think it too revealing to say this:
'I suppose your new favourite teacher's painted a very different image of your father. All the better to win your precious trust.'
I think he would be confused that Harry was confused - before getting him to turn his pockets out. It would plant a seed of doubt in Harry's mind: Lupin was keeping BIG things from him.
He strode across to his fire, seized a fistful of glittering powder from a jar on the fireplace, and threw it into the flames. ‘Lupin!’ Snape called into the fire. ‘I want a word!’ Utterly bewildered, Harry stared at the fire. A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast. Seconds later, Professor Lupin was clambering out of the fireplace, brushing ash off his shabby robes. ‘You called, Severus?’ said Lupin mildly. ‘I certainly did,’ said Snape, his face contorted with fury as he strode back to his desk. ‘I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this.’ Snape pointed at the parchment, on which the words of Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were still shining. An odd, closed expression appeared on Lupin’s face. ‘Well?’ said Snape. Lupin continued to stare at the map. Harry had the impression that Lupin was doing some very quick thinking. ‘Well?’ said Snape again. ‘This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?’ Lupin looked up and, by the merest half glance in Harry’s direction, warned him not to interrupt.
First of all: "A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast." Excuse me? 'Revolving very fast?' What direction?? That's fucking hilarious
Severus knows that Lupin made this parchment. He recognized the nicknames. Snape is better with Dark Magic than Lupin, Harry especially suspects Snape is keen on Dark Magic - it is ridiculous to call Lupin there to inspect the map, and everyone knows it. Snape wants to corner Lupin (for once) and get him to slip up about letting Black into the castle. Remus, of course, puts on another mask so he doesn't react to anything - and shoots Harry an 'I've got this' glance. Which is all very well and good for a confident Remus that's had Severus under his heel all year... But OUR Severus? The Severus that's made Remus look (and feel) wimpy? ...I think they're both going to get a shock.
‘Full of Dark Magic?’ he repeated mildly. ‘Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who tries to read it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke-shop –’ ‘Indeed?’ said Snape. His jaw had gone rigid with anger. ‘You think a joke-shop could supply him with such a thing? You don’t think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?’ Harry didn’t understand what Snape was talking about. Nor, apparently, did Lupin. ‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ Right on cue, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak. ‘I – gave – Harry – that – stuff,’ he choked. ‘Bought – it – in Zonko’s – ages – ago …’ ‘Well!’ said Lupin, clapping his hands together and looking around cheerfully. ‘That seems to clear that up! Severus, I’ll take this back, shall I?’ He folded the map and tucked it inside his robes. ‘Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay. Excuse us, Severus.’
To Harry - Lupin didn't seem to know what Snape was talking about. He is stunned as the teachers have their little battle - as Severus tries not to say too much, and Remus lies through his teeth about things he doesn't need to lie about. His name is written on it. Dumbledore would know who 'Moony' is. Given the chance to defend Lupin, Harry and the Weasleys would come clean on how they got it. But OUR Harry? He knows Lupin is keeping secrets. He cuts off conversations when he feels stressed, he stammers excuses for odd behaviour - and now Snape has suggested he knew James more intimately than just 'being friends at Hogwarts' - yet has told him nothing of note. He might be a little protective of Lupin, but he has never trusted any adult fully... and he is starting to smell the lies.
‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ 'But you do, right? Professor?' Harry cut him off. The silence was palpable. Remus' soft smile was missing at he stared back, wide-eyed. Snape was just as speechless. He realized, with a sickening drop in his stomach, he had essentially just come to Snape's defense. Before anyone could say anything more, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak.
Harry does what Severus has done all year: Snapped back at Remus' attempts at bullshitting. It's Remus' fear: his student is suspicious of him. Severus is just plain confused. He never thought James Potter's son would jump in to take his side on anything... he hasn't had anyone on his side all year, either. Not that thats unusual. Is this history repeating? A Potter defending Severus from Remus...? Nah. Not quite. (Not posting the original quote - because it's long. Remus says he met the mapmakers, and that they would have wanted to lure Harry out - but otherwise just tells him off like a good little teacher - leaving Harry feeling guilty.)
Harry didn’t dare look at Snape as they left his office. He, Ron and Lupin walked all the way back into the Entrance Hall before speaking. Then Harry turned to Lupin. ‘So you do know them.’ Harry asked directly. 'That's why Snape called for you. Your name is on it.' Lupin looked pained for a moment, like he was sucking on a sherbert lemon. ‘That is correct.’ said Lupin shortly. He glanced around the empty Entrance Hall and lowered his voice. ‘I helped make the map. It was a long time ago. Last I knew of its whereabouts it was confiscated by Mr Filch.’ he said not looking any less pained about having to say it. Ron looked amazed, but Harry's expression hardened as Lupin continued. ‘I don’t want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn’t hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around.’ Harry was too keen for explanations to let him continue. ‘Why did you lie?’ Harry asked sharply. 'If Snape knows one of the names was you, why lie about it?' ‘Because …’ Lupin hesitated, for longer than was comfortable. ‘because... I didn't want you thinking I was suspicious.' Lupin smiled, chuckling slightly as he continued. 'Theres a dangerous man about, Harry! One who wants to lure you out of school-’ ‘One of your friends.’ said Harry, correcting him - and getting more indignant. 'Is his name on the map too? What about my father?' ‘...You're quite sharp, aren't you.’ he said slowly, his smile falling as he looked at Harry more seriously than ever before. 'Yes, they are. It was a long time ago, as I said.' 'Give it back.' Harry snapped, reaching for the map - but Lupin snatched it away. 'I can’t let you have it back, Harry.' Harry's jaw stiffened. Ron looked almost disgusted. 'You said his dad's, yeah? He has a right to it!' ‘I have a right to it too, as one of its makers!' Lupin stopped himself, as if catching that he sounded ridiculously petty. '...I covered for you, Harry - at risk to myself. You can't expect me to do it again. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.’ He walked away quickly, leaving no room for a response. Harry felt far worse than he had at any point in Snape’s office. 'Sounds more like he was covering for himself...' Ron mumbled, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.
I wanted a Harry hurt by Remus' lies. Harry never quite see's his teachers bad qualities while he is at school - because he is only 13. But if Snape being a snappy little bugger has one consequence: It's eroding Remus' projection of a confident man without secrets. Harry can sometimes ignore things he isn't directly interested in, but he is interested in both Remus and Snape. He wouldn't miss that. With some added defensive Ron, because Ron is a good lad.
There are many ways to spin this to be more overt, I took a very soft-handed approach that hasn't ended up changing too much. Baseline, I think: Remus would bend the knee to Severus more often than not. His one true goal is to look good - and Severus' goal is to not let him do that. Snape is BETTER at these games than Remus is. Remus has Dumbledore on his side to stop Snape from getting too loose-lipped, but we all know Snape is clever, witty, petty and vindictive. He finds ways around the rules and does his best to get information to the children that will keep them safe. The only thing holding him back is a slight fear of Lupin. If Remus were to confront Snape, beyond dragging him into a Dumbledore meeting, it would be a 'pretending to be nice, full of backhanded-compliments and cheeky remarks' argument in private. In Snapes office, so Remus can leave rather than have to demand Snape leaves. Because the moment Snape actually becomes angry he would leave - with one last biting remark, so he can feel like he had the upper hand.
....Is this like.... what you wanted? I sorta fell off the deep end... I feel like I've been on some sort of bender...
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Corsets
Been seeing a lot about corsets used in this kink and it just so happens that corset-belts have been taking my friend-group by storm. Totally unplanned, but I managed to live out some of the corset-scenarios I've seen floating around.
I got off work early today, so I had plans to rush home, change, and then go out with a friend. They had to help an elderly family member with some appointment-stuff, but timing and efficiency made it most optimal for me to tag along and wait for them while maybe guarding belongings or whatever. The plan was for me to go home, get changed, get picked up, and once the appointment stuff was done we'd drop off the family member back to their house before heading out together. It was a great plan…but I found out while waiting that I'd forgotten to factor something in. Breakfast happened prior to 9AM, work took me until close to 4, and I was in a waiting room guarding coats and bags while my friend and their family member dealt with their business close to 6PM.
When I changed, I opted to wear a stretchy corset-belt style accessory 'cuz I was wearing a baggy blouse and wanted to take the waist in just a little. Also, corset stuff is kind of a new addition in my closet 'cuz friends and myself are only now getting in on the craze and I have so few opportunities to go out--so I wanted to wear something nice instead of my work-clothes. The thing was made of a really wide, elastic-y band with a firmer, harder bit in the front and on the back. Almost like strapping armour on or something.
I was in the waiting room of the unfamiliar building, alone and reading a book, when I realized something. My stomach was growling. There was this constant 'buzzing' I'd been feeling for a while and as I sat there I realized what it was: I was hungry. The corset was applying enough pressure to stiffle everything, but it also intensified the rumbles I could feel…like it was transmuting loudness for feel. It felt amazing. Due to the pressure of the corset and the elastic, I didn't feel too many intense cramps, just the rumbling of my empty stomach demanding food. I didn't even need to rub it or anything 'cuz it felt like the corset was kind of doing all of that for me.
The errand wrapped up without too much fuss and we saw the relative safely home before going out to try and hunt down dinner. After ordering, we were waiting for the food to come to our table when a thought struck me: I'm still in the corset. It's not tight or anything and it looks totally bomb right now and the inaudible rumbles feel amazing…but…what happens during and after the meal? There was a lace-up section right in the middle up front and I was terrified it'd stretch open or something if I ate too much or whatever…so I was trying to pace myself and not over-eat to avoid the embarrassment of it showing on the corset. At the same time, I was fighting the urge to just keep eating because by that point it'd been going on 10 hours since my last meal…and all I had for breakfast was a cheese bun. I paced myself as best I could by taking frequent gulps of steaming hot tea throughout the dinner. We went to a Chinese restaurant so there was basically bottomless tea from a tea pot served alongside various dishes.
After the dinner, as we were walking back to the car, I noticed the state of my corset. The lace-up front was still where it was, no noticeable strain (likely went to the elastic)…but the belt kept on riding up. I'd started the meal with the band basically touching my hips because I had pulled it down that far. At the end of the meal, the belt kept on riding up no matter how much I tried to tug it back down to rest just above my hips.
I'm writing this after having just gotten home. One of the first things I did upon getting home was to take off the corset belt. As soon as it left my body, my stomach let out the loudest, wettest gurgle I've heard from it in recent memory. It honestly felt like everything had suddenly shifted with a wet 'blorp' or something. Like, the belt wasn't super tight on me even after the meal…but I guess the elastic waist-band thingy did enough to have an effect. Once the belt was off, it was like everything inside of me shifted. Like a dam had burst or something.
I'm still quite bloated from dinner, thanks to all that tea, but there's definitely a lot less pressure than when I had the belt on.
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gentle hearts
request: would like to request megumi/yuji dating a reader that is very emotionally sensitive :) if you don’t feel like writing it that’s perfectly okay! I love your work <3
buns notes: hi angel!!thank you for requesting and for being so patient! I hope you like this as well and I hope you have a good day!
content: Sukuna/Yuuji/Megumi x gender neutral reader. Fluff + comfort. Kissing. Crying. Mentions of violence in Sukuna's part.(not towards reader) blood (sukuna). English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes!
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dc/dark blogs, k!nk and ed blogs do not interact or forever have bad wifi connection<3
Sukuna
This was disgustingly self indulgent forgive me anon
♡-He really admires your sensitivity. He barely has any :)
♡-It piqued his curiosity that you feel everything so deeply. From love and happiness to grief and sorrow you carry these emotions on your sleeve, even if you don't necessarily want to.
♡-Although it makes him curious, it doesn’t mean he’ll purposefully make you emotional. He hates seeing you cry. He's done terrible things, made scenes that put everyone else whose eyes laid upon it guts twist, without as much as blinking. He doesn't feel anything when his hands are dripping in blood but God seeing you cry feels like his veins are starting to pump poison through his body and his non-existent heart is being ripped out of his chest.
♡-And he had to learn the hard way that storming over to you and harshly demanding what happened. Who made you cry? Give him names. Is not exactly the best way to soothe you.
♡-So when he sees you flinch and more tears start to spill out, his attitude immediately changes. He's the king of curses he knows that he can be terrifying and to some even uttering his name shoots fear into their heart, but you look at him with such a soft love-filled look, so much light and admiration, when he's with you he kinda forgets that he is so scary
♡-Don’t worry tho! every day he’s learning more and more about how to take care of you. So rest assured he’ll be there to wipe the tears away. And give you a big smooch for good measure.
Yuuji
♡-Yuuji is honestly just like you. He feels everything strongly and deeply. At first it didn’t bother him, it was actually one of the traits he liked about himself. When he loved someone, he told them, which would lead to stronger bonds and when he needed to cry, he cried which after a good session would make him feel a lot lighter than he felt before.
♡-Now though, with everything going on in his life, and he quite literally carries the safety of the world on his shoulders, he hates the fact he feels everything so deeply. it's a constant state of happy and depressing emotions because he did meet Fushiguro, and Gojo, and Nobara, and he is sure his grandpa is proud of him, but he's already feeling the dread and fear of leaving this world, his friends behind. He's already afraid of what comes next and with every finger he consumes it just gets stronger. until you, ray of sunshine entered his life as well
♡-It’s nice to meet someone who was also emotionally sensitive, which lead to many late night conversations under the stars or on the floor of his bedroom, which eventually lead to your first kiss<3
♡-Whenever the emotions get to heavy to carry, just being around you overflows him with enough love to drown all these negative feelings out. Truly your presence alone is enough to soothe him and vice versa
♡-Yuuji is only one call away. If you need him he will be there as fast as he can
♡-It’s difficult being a sensitive person in such a cruel world, but as long as you and yuuji have eachother, you know you can survive it.
Megumi
♡-He's quite soft-spoken which is great! His voice is calming and when he's letting those sickeningly sweet words of love and adoration for you fall from his lips, you're basically melting into a little puddle. But, when he's just talking normally, his voice doesn't carry a lot of emotion and neither does his expression. So it is pretty easy, especially for you, to start assuming he's annoyed or bored which with your heightened sensitivity isn’t great and it shoots you into a heavy spiral of overthinking that maybe you have upset him in some way which eventually leads you to distance yourself
♡-STOP IT
♡-He recharges on YOU. One hour spent with Gojo or Yuuji drains him of his brain cells and energy and the only cure is you. So when you start avoiding him, distancing yourself from him, And he's not receiving his daily kisses and cuddles that he very much needs, the expressions and emotion in his voice become even more sour.
♡-He won’t let it go for long though, megumi is nothing short of persistent. He will give you puppy eyes. Please let him in
♡-And after you do open up to him, expect to be showered in precious little kisses all over your face along with soft whispers thanking you for letting him in and trusting him with this.
♡- Even if he does sound annoyed or he’s feeling a little irritated, you will never be the cause of it.
♡-As much as he tries he can’t really help his expressions and voicetone, BUT he’ll become a lot more physically affectionate to let you know, everything is okay. Even if he is actually annoyed or mad it's not directed towards you. Its towards Gojo ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎
Thank you for reading bunnies!<3
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader#jjk x gender neutral reader#sukuna x gender neutral reader#megumi x reader#yuuji itadori x reader#yuuji x reader#sukuna x reader#yuji x reader#yuji itadori x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#sukuna ryomen x reader#yuuji fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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When abused children get bullied at school it sends a slightly different message to them.
Bullying in general, can be terrifying because of the violence, destruction, toxic social hierarchy that is imposed on the bullied child, the humiliation and the social abuse can be traumatic and scarring, and there's a lack of protection, social isolation and knowledge that even in the public setting, you can be hurt and others will do nothing to help you, nobody will stand up for you. That is, ultimately, rejection from your entire social circle; you're unwanted among your peers, they don't find you worthy of saving, or physical safety. It makes you distrust the society, and the good in people.
But abused kids also get this at home, so it's nothing new; for those abused extensively at home, bullying can even seem like not such a big deal. It was like that for me. When life at home would be a constant death threat, few kids at school destroying my things and mocking me in public seemed like a minor inconvenience. Nothing short of life-threatening violence would even upset me, and the kids at my high school weren't looking to go that far.
Looking back though, I understand that it did more than upset me, it let me know that I'm unwanted everywhere. For those abused in their homes, the only hope is the escape in the outside world, where we could dream, that someone would care enough to make sure we're safe, that the don't die from lack of resources, that we could possibly be loved and protected. But bullying puts an end to that hope before we can even start. It tells us, no, public is just the same as home. There's nothing for you anywhere, we don't want you either. It's going to be the same for you everywhere. It's because you're different and weird and unlovable that this is happening to you; you can see it's not happening to other people, so it must be your fault directly that everyone hates you.
I haven't realized for a long time, how far it reinforced the message of the abusive parents, that I deserve this. That in my case, it was normal, and that I'm ultimately unlovable and nobody could possibly want or protect me. 'Something is wrong with you so we're going to hurt you' is the mantra both of the bullies, and the abusive parents. It goes hand in hand. And having no space where I could relax or feel like I'm not going to get hurt, made the world a worse place for me to live in. Regardless of whether I fought back or not, it didn't change the fact that I was surrounded with people who wished to hurt me, and would take any chance to do so. It made me feel that there is no escape. I was just too weird and something was deeply wrong with me, and everyone could see it and agree upon it.
Except it's not true. Nothing was wrong with me, I was only unprotected. I would have been just fine left alone. Nothing I did was any incentive for any of these people to do harm to me. It was their choice to do so, to make the world less safe for those who don't have anyone standing in their corner, and nowhere to turn to.
What society tells us about us sticks with us for a long time. A message repeated long enough, from enough sources, will end up etched in our brain, without us having the ability to scrub it off. We're sensitive to how we're being perceived, and out perception is affected by what other tell us about us. So when people tell us the worst possible things, no matter how untrue, they stick. We can't know immediately, that they're saying it only to excuse and rationalize their own gross actions. We can't know that they need to say it, in order to frame their crimes against us as just and normal, when they're anything but. It takes intense and conscious training to link people's spoken opinions of us, to what they're intending to do to us. It takes a lot to realize that when they're talking with hatred in their voice about us, they're doing so only in order to create a fake scenario in which they are allowed to hurt us. They don't know or perceive us at all, they only perceive a situation where they can get away with causing harm. Our only crime is existing, unprotected.
#bullying#child on child abuse#high school bullying#child abuse#abusive parents#toxic parents#abuse + bullying
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ENHYPEN's group dynamic (tarot reading)
DISCLAIMER: This tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only.
how's their overall dynamic?
king of pentacles (rx) + ace of cups + the world + 5 of cups + page of pentacles (rx) + 7 of wands + 2 of pentacles + 6 of wands (rx) + 3 of wands + knight of cups (rx)
the group could get along better, but there are still some issues to be resolved...
the members care more about money and greed than improving their group dynamic. I feel that they do not have enough creative freedom and when it's time to work, it's very likely that many discussions arise.
they are aware that if there's will there would be more harmony and they would work better, but it seems that there is no will for this to happen. I feel that there are many things that still couldn't be resolved; there's a lot of resentment in this reading.
the boys suffered a lot to be where they are now, especially in their trainee days and in i-land. I feel that most of them were affected so much by that time of their lives that it's difficult for them to forget everything they went through. I also feel that some of them wanted to debut with certain people, but they couldn't make it or there are also some of the members that were not happy with the group. some of them may have lost enthusiasm for working as a group. they do have big dreams, but they're not inspired or hopeful that the group will achieve all of the things that they hope to achieve.
although they're successful and will be even more successful in the future, I feel that the feeling of competition will continue to be present... I mean competition between groups, not between members.
it seems that it's very common for many changes to occur in the group, but it seems that one particular member does not like this at all. it seems that one of them is the one who is most affected by the constant imbalance of the group.
it's sad to say this, but I think most of the members doubt their own abilities. I also feel like there's a giant lack of recognition here that that's what affects them the most. I have the feeling that they lack a lot of support, I mean... nobody compliments them for their hard work and this causes them to have low self-esteem :( despite all this, they are optimistic and don't give up. they know that if they work hard they will get what they want.
in order for the group dynamic to improve, they have to stop being so cold and support each other. they have to stop being impulsive and they have to learn to control their emotions. complimenting others for the progress they make is highly valued. they have to let go of their ego and their competitive side and become more empathetic; they have to learn to care about each other.
how does each of the boys feel about the group?
the empress + 4 of pentacles (rx) + the moon
heeseung ⇢ this guy tends to idealize and imagine a group dynamic that doesn't exist, simply because he's afraid things will get worse.
although I feel that heeseung really cares for the members, I also think that he's clinging to them because he's afraid that the group will disband and he will have to work alone... that terrifies him.
we all know this man is very talented, but heeseung himself doesn't think the same way :(
4 of cups + 10 of wands + king of cups (rx)
jay ⇢ jay isn't happy with the group dynamic, but knows how to separate work from his relationships.
this guy doesn't feel comfortable with the group, not because he doesn't feel included, but simply because their personalities are different. however, it should be said that this man tends to ignore the nice things they achieve as a group out of mere stubbornness 💀. sometimes he thinks that the only one who takes work seriously is him and sometimes he takes charge of things that later end up stressing him out.
jay finds that sometimes the work environment can be very bad and there's often a lot of manipulation involved.
to sum up, he thinks that the group dynamic is toxic af lmao
the tower + 9 of pentacles + 6 of wands (rx)
jake ⇢ at first jake thought the group dynamic was good, but suddenly one day he didn't think that anymore. something happened that made him change his mind.
regarding work, while he is proud of how he has progressed over the years, he would also like to receive compliments from his members. jake's needing that approval from his teammates, but he wouldn't be getting it, which sometimes causes him to question his abilities.
10 of wands (rx) + 5 of swords (rx) + temperance
sunghoon ⇢ this dude doesn't trust the other members very much and considers it very difficult to delegate, because of their egos.
however, sunghoon wants this to stop and is trying to find meaning in his work, trying to be patient and balance things out. sunghoon is tired of arguing and wants to improve the relationship he has with certain members.
the lovers + page of swords + 2 of swords
sunoo ⇢ well, he's the only one who is satisfied with the group cksngkd
sunoo thinks that even though they have different personalities, they complement each other well. he feels comfortable with his members and he considers that he formed a deep emotional bond with them.
sunoo loves to talk and share his opinions with his members. he also finds interesting the way some of them think. there's a lot of mental stimulation here! this also applies to work. however, many times this ends in arguments... but sunoo likes this to happen, because he considers communication important, even when he disagrees with some opinions.
ace of pentacles + 10 of swords (rx) + the tower
jungwon ⇢ at first, jungwon was very excited about the group. he was relieved that he was finally going to debut and was optimistic about enhypen's future. being chosen to be part of the group made him recover his self-confidence and, little by little, he began to heal from everything he could have experienced in the past.
however, not everything was rosy. it seems that jungwon has drastically changed his mind about the group. something in particular happened here… I feel it's because of the way each of them work.
justice + 4 of cups + 5 of cups
niki ⇢ niki is going through more or less the same thing as jay: even though enhypen is doing well and its opening a lot of paths for him, niki ignores all of that and only sees the negative side of things. maybe this is because he isn't getting the things he wants or he doesn't like the way he gets those things.
regarding the relationship he has with his members, there's a lot of resentment here. niki doesn't feel comfortable with some of his teemmates and he treats them with apathy and, what's more, I feel that he has something personal with one of them.
this reading makes a lot of emphasis on karma and pain. I've just heard "be responsible of your actions." like I said before, there's a lot of resentment in this reading.
regarding the last card, I have 2 theories about it: 1) niki feels sad because he misses his family or 2) he may be very affected by the type of relationship he has with that specific member. however, the card indicates that there's still a chance to solve that situation.
‧͙⁺˚・༓☾ 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔! ☽༓・˚⁺‧͙
#enhypen#enhypen tarot#enhypen astrology#nishimura riki#park sunghoon#yang jungwon#lee heeseung#jay park#jay jongsung park#sim jaeyoon#kim sunoo
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The way comics never really delve into the mental side of Rogue’s powers is something that bothers me and because of that a lot of people still don’t realize how much they affect her. The struggle Rogue has with her powers is one of the main reasons why I love her so much because it is something that makes her so relatable. Her character has always been very neurodivergent coded and I wish comics actually took the time to explore that but since they didn’t (yet) I thought I would make a small explanation post for all of us to appreciate her.
I’m sure all of you know this by now but let’s start with the basics. Rogue’s mutant power is absorbing people. She can absorb memories, life force and (if they have any) powers. The longer she absorbs someone, the stronger the absorption is -which can even lead to a coma. She used to do it by touch and couldn’t touch anyone because of it but in Mr. & Mrs. X her powers evolved and she can now absorb people from a certain distance.
A really important detail in Rogue’s power is that the psyches of the people she absorbs (think of it like a copy of them) remains inside her mind and sometimes if the absorption is strong, they can even take control of her body.
Rogue’s powers first showed themselves when she was just a child. Not only she accidentally put the first boy she kissed to a coma but she also took on his psyche. What happened is traumatizing enough (and it shows itself through her romantic life, the way she always keeps pushing Remy away) but the overlooked psyche part? There is something so tragic about the fact that Rogue started absorbing people so young because now, as a grown up, she can never know or be sure of who she would be without her powers affecting her or how much of her decisions were really her own. She lost her childhood and perhaps herself that day with a single kiss.
After this Rogue runs away from home and gets adopted by Mystique and Destiny. Now we all know her moms love her but they didn’t really raise her in a healthy environment. They used her powers and considering the people they were fighting with, I’m pretty sure the people Rogue absorbed weren’t all that nice.
The first person Rogue absorbs completely and takes powers of permanently is Carol Danvers. After that incident, Rogue goes to X-Men for help to get control.
Rogue (2001) is a really good comic that focuses on that time period and we actually get to see what inside of her mind looks like & what she goes through on the daily.
Xavier tries to help her but it is exhausting to put a single brick, yet alone build an entire wall to keep out the voices.
She eventually gets better control but people she absorbed still affects her without her even realizing from going to another city to make sense of what’s going on to something as simple as a dessert choice.
Like I also said at the beginning; the people she absorbed can get control of her body without her consent as well.
It is terrifying to think about it. Absorbing everyone’s memories (good and bad) and having to live with them, having nightmares, having them change you in small and big ways, be in constant fear of them taking control of you… it is a lot.
I didn’t even touch on her touching problem but with all this, it is obvious control is the most important thing to her. It has to be, because without it, she is in danger of losing herself. So what could be even worse?
Yup. Like I mentioned at the beginning, in Mr. & Mrs. X her powers evolve.
And yes later on she learns how to get control but it is important to add that she never got perfect control. She has to make a conscious effort of stop herself to absorb others at every second (ex. Remy asking if she is in control before getting close and Laura being able to give her healing powers to her via touch when Rogue was unconscious in the last Captain Marvel arc)
All of these here doesn’t even touch the surface. Rogue is a very complex character even though people don’t even realize it -which I don’t blame them for because a lot of media and comics only portray her as a flying, invulnerable, super strong superhero without any actual emotional storytelling-. Rogue struggles constantly with mental health and her emotions.
Now this part is just me headcanoning because there is no confirmation or whatever from Marvel (and honestly its a little bit me making up excuses) but I always thought of Rogue’s short-temper, the lack of emotion and cold behaviour related to this. Especially considering how in Mr. & Mrs. X they show her lose control when she feels extreme fear (I think it can apply to any other emotion as well), that cold facade is how she has to be. But like I said, this is just something I theorized that I wish Marvel would confirm but honestly? I don’t really see it happening.
I’m ending this post with one of my favourite Rogue moments that showcases how strong she actually is from Rogue & Gambit (2018).
So yes, Rogue is amazing and the absolute best superhero to me. She is also one of the strongest not because of her powers but because she goes through this (and more) every day and yet still chooses to be kind and good and it is just… so incredibly inspiring.
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