#certified vent moment

[oddthesungod]

fuckin…. im a bit grouchy today, but reading “omg someone who draws, draw this extremely complicated and time consuming idea I had for free teehee just throwing this idea out there” makes me want to chew concrete, this isnt cute, you arent coy. just the flippancy of it rubs me the wrong way, “teehee im not asking for artists to draw for me for free, im just throwing this idea out there teehee”

Drives me up the walls, you want your ideas drawn, animated, whatever? Fucking pay an artist

[bnuuwitch]

Heyyyyyyyy how's my favorite Bnuuy doing?

AYYYY BNUUUUU

I’m okay ig, sister doesn’t want me using Tumblr so I got insta and oHHHH MY GODDD I HATE IT it’s overstimulation station I hate it sm. At least people actually talk here. Over there is just. So much short form content and everything feels superficial and fake and hate hate hate

[gotmyass2marz]

URL FROM MACHINE GIRL - ASS2MARS , BLOG THEME BASED ON MACHINE GIRL - SCHIZODIPSHIT

DIVIDERS COURTESY OF @/c1rcus-of-silliness

RONNIE / PAX

HE / IT / honestly whatever besides they

PREV URL WAS LABRATBOYGIRL

BIGENDER + OBJM + NONHUMAN (you dont like any of that then thas too dam bad)

not stating exact age but . minor☝️

i enjoy alphalore / alphastar716 , machine girl , miitopia , objectified (comic) , twomp / ashur gharavi , itlop / thitcs / tj klune , drive45 , smiling friends , cult of the lamb + others

i also enjoy my wife @sh1ft1ng-starzzz :3

no specific dni . but ive got a block button in my hand that im not afraid to use

i do answer donation asks (im not a dickhead) but if any donation asks go unanswered its either because 1. i didnt see it when it was sent or 2. the ask was already sent before

MORE SOCIALS + FUN SHTUFF ON MY STRAWPAGE

@kinb0x <- BLOG WHERE I TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A CREATURE I AM

@essence0fwr4th <- GOOFY ALPHALORE RELATED RP/PARODY BLOG

HAVE FUN I SUPPOSE collect my images

[khaenriahkhaenriah]

i have never related more to alhaitham in my life (read: I have never been more overstimulated in my life and my headphones are the only thing saving me)

[artcinemas]

i think i just sabotaged my entire relationship

[raine-but-irl]

goddamn bro my mom reaaaaaallllly needs to take a chill pill or 2 bro

[official-bunbun]

DID is quite the disorder

[turbo-enid]

Vent

When you planned on studying, but your mom shut the door on you while you were speaking so you feel triggered and on top of that your period pains began, so now you'd just rather fill your mind up with distractions.

[xbadnews-a]

tonight i've been almost entirely unavailable ooc! I've been painting & drawing & listening to cr. i just haven't been in the right headspace to be talking to people so I've stayed mostly to myself <3

[aeternaluminanoctis]

Switching like crazy today all due to our therapy appointment. 💥 was pissed and didn't even want to go. Ended up switching out out of spite for our therapist and we haven't been able to stick to front for more than an hour since.

[nathanland]

I blame this one girl back in my catholic school years for giving me the blonde white girl fetish

[thylacine001]

who up cutting off everyone they know out of fear of them cutting you off

[bnuuwitch]

Chat? Friends? Moots?

I feel scared. I feel sad. Like a heavy despair is crashing down on me. Like I’ll peak out of my blanket and see something I could never unsee, that my truest fears will be unlocked.

I feel like my mind is being reduced to infinite fractals. I prayed but nothing’s working. It’s so heavy. I think I might cry.

Please, please. Help. I don’t know what to do I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

[gotmyass2marz]

ronnie/pax (among others)

he/it/pretty much any except they

gods #1 bigender fagfreak ravenous beast gore enjoyer and objectliker (in more ways than one)

minor . btw yk the drill with that

brainworms currently wiggling over miitopia / drive45 / smiling friends / cult of the lamb / diet tea other cola / machine girl / alphalore + alphastar716 / mouthwashing / itlop + thitcs + tj klune / objectified / twomp + ashur gharavi

normally i do not maintag fandom posts because i shrimply get Nervous👍

feel free 2 send asks or dms or whatevr …….. ilove attention

no specific dni but i block when needed

THE SILLYSQUAD !!!!!!!!!! (fun fact first person is my wife whom i love oh so much)

peep my strawpage (basically the same info as in here but you can also send questions and doodles and such :o))

@kinb0x <- blog for erm . Things and Stuff (fiction/otherkin junk)

ok go have fun also look at my Images

[shaaaaaaar]

names are assholes and i’ve cornered myself T^T

>my name is mystery

>i decided that i also vibed with lee and having a normal sounding name is useful

>”hey guys i use lee/mystery”

>literally everyone ever uses lee

>the name mystery becomes anxiety for me bc nobody uses it (“what if people think its stupid bc the moment they get a chance to use something else they take it” + it sucks when people dont use both names yknow) its so atypical so its hard to use anyway (employers and transphobia and shit)

>i trick myself into thinking lee is just as fine as mystery

>i go to college

>week 1 i realize im lying to myself i dont like lee much

>this feeling of dislike only grows. the dislike is now hatred. it is genuinely uncomfortable now.

>i realize that actually wait mystery fucks still i was right the first time

>too scared to say “please stop calling me lee” to 75% of people because now lee is so ingrained everywhere and despite knowing i use both NOBODY USES MYSTERY

>ive somehow trapped myself into a second fucking deadname, except i chose the damn name this was by my own creation

>also realizes i still should get a normal name that employers would like and transphobes wouldnt kill me over that isnt mystery

>every name is wrong and bad. im starting to think its mystery or bust.

>but going by mystery is hard because ive barely been able to tell people i genuinely hate the current alternative, i immediately out myself as queer doing so which safety concerns, and if i say i use two names EVERYONE WOULD USE THE SECOND NORMAL NAME

>part of me is afraid that id also hate mystery if i use it in school despite two years of highschool not being a problem, and that id get shit if i changed my name in the system to mystery despite people probably not caring much

>i think im fucked

[bnuuwitch]

Okay first off don’t be comparing your friends’ pains to yours. Everyone goes through shit, so are you. You vent because it helps you feel lighter. Perhaps they have someone else to vent to, idk.

Also gimme ur discord we’ll go through our shit together. This is a threat :3

But no fr you’re not alone and you’re completely valid in venting and waning to vent to friends and chat with someone to get your mind off of things.

Also, feelings are hard. They are weird and fickle, matters of the heart we will never truly understand. Do not blame yourself for it, it’s simply human nature.

guyssssssssssssssss I have. the brain worms again.

Okay so I’m trying not to vent constantly. As I’ve said before (I think) there is a line between talking about my problem’s healthily and just complaining. And I don’t want to cross it. But… I don’t know what the line is. And like. Again, all my friends go through worse shit than I do so am I complaining or is that their personal choice to not talk about stuff????? Ugh.

Anyway. I’ve got this whole vent post about some insecurities with To Find Warmth’s quality. (Yeah, I know. That’s weird. It’s not yall’s fault, you give me more praise than I’d ever need it’s just my brain being mean.) And it’s sitting in my drafts cuz I told myself I should work this out on my own. And I did!! For an hour. And now it’s back. And then I was like. Okay. I’ll talk to a friend! Expect it’s 10pm, I haven’t showered, and simply do not have the time to go through a chat with a tumblr mutual bcuz tumblrs messaging is, as they say, somewhat garbag.

Ughhh. I hate this. I don’t know if I’m crossing the complaining line here. So I suppose I’m asking yall bcuz this is easier and quicker than reaching out privately.

why are feelings so harrrrrrrrd…