#certificate course in beauty therapy

[amainternationalindia]

Mastering Hairdressing: Your Gateway to Professional Excellence

At AMA International, we are committed to providing the highest quality education and training in the beauty industry. Our experienced instructors are dedicated to helping students achieve their goals and unleash their full potential. With state-of-the-art facilities and a hands-on learning approach, we ensure that our graduates are well-prepared to succeed in their careers. Read More At: https://shorturl.at/jqyzM

[sreejyothi]

[financeprincess]

I spent, at a minimum, at least $500-$1,000 a month exclusively on my self improvement. Here is most of what I spend on, in no particular order:

Education (classes, books, courses, certifications, college tuition, seminars, etc.)

Private lessons for languages, musical instruments, sports, etc.

Personal hobbies and passion projects

Crest whitening strips (great when in a pinch), Invisalign, professional whitening, preventative dental care, prescription whitening products from my dentist

Investments such as index funds, REITs, ETFs, CDs, individual stocks, commodities, appreciative luxury items, precious metals & gems, etc.

Organic food, vitamins, supplements, high quality healthcare, therapy, massages, prescriptions (Rx skincare, etc.)

New glasses & contacts (getting some bayonetta glasses from Burberry soon, very excited)

Sports, gym membership + sauna, hot yoga, Pilates, kickboxing, tennis, skiing, dance, etc.

Personal care such as bath/shower products, body care, haircare, skincare, makeup, brightening eye drops, perfume, etc.

Travel, events, concerts, festivals, etc.

Shopping (clothes, accessories, home goods, etc.)

Eating out at restaurants and going to coffee shops

Beauty treatments such as manicures, pedicures, waxes, brow tint & threading, salon blowouts, hair cuts & colors, facials, lash lift & tints, vitamin IVs, etc.

Regular visits to my dermatologist, dentist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, primary care physician, gynecologist, and any other specialists

Semi-regular appointments with a personal trainer, holistic nutritionist, and dietitian

I don't do all of these every single month, but most of these are recurring throughout the year and budgeted accordingly. Eventually I might add in more intense cosmetic work like medspa services, Botox, etc. If you can find a workplace with a great benefits package such as high quality healthcare, an HSA/FSA, health & wellness reimbursements for the gym, disability & life insurance, etc. I would highly recommend it and max out all the benefits you can.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Products & Services Worth The Splurge

Fashion:

A great couple of bras in black/nude (your best skin-toned shade)

Comfortable, breathable, and seamless underwear

Outerwear (Coats, jackets, blazers)

The perfect pair of jeans

An LBD that works from day to night

Comfortable, sturdy, sleek, and timeless footwear (a versatile black boot, a black heel, white sneaker, and a black flat/loafer/sandal)

A timeless and versatile crossbody or shoulder bag (a larger one for the daytime/work or school and a smaller one for nighttime/events)

One or two well-made classic jewelry item(s)

A conversation-starting item or accessory

Beauty:

Sunscreen

Any skincare/skin cosmetic products that are game-changers for you

A quality hair brush, comb, and hair towel

Your signature scent

A quality razor/hair removal product

Vitamin C/Retinol serums

Reliable hair tools and sturdy nail tools

A quality hair heat protectant/scalp cleansing or conditioning spray

Makeup brushes and beauty tool cleaners

Home:

Lamps/lighting

Couch/desk chair

Everything for your bed: Bed frame, mattress/sheets/pillows, etc.

Knives

Dishwasher-safe and microwave-safe dishes & cups you love

A full-length mirror

Vacuum

Storage solutions/cedar blocks or moth balls

Quality holders for everything: Paper towels, shower storage, hooks, mailbox/key bowls

Name brand paper products/household cleaners

Electric toothbrush & Waterpik

Sound-proof headphones/Airpods

MacBook Air

Health & Wellness:

High-quality lettuce and/or sprouts

Organic frozen fruits and vegetables (if fresh is too pricey)

BPA-free canned goods

Potassium bromate & glyphosate-free grain products

Snacks free of artificial colors

Quality coffee

An at-home massage tool/heating pad

Fur products for skin/hair removal

Vitamin C/Retinol serums

Quality running shoes

Anything that goes near your vulva or into the vagina: Sex toys, lube, condoms, toy cleaners, pads/tampons/menstrual cups, cleansing wipes, etc.

A yoga mat, resistance band, and a pair of small ankle weights

Spotify subscription

Books and audiobooks

Services:

Therapy

A top-tier haircut

House cleaning (even if it's only once every couple of months)

Top-tier hair removal/brow maintenance services of your choice

Best doctors, dentists, OB/GYN, and dermatologists you can get

At least one personal training/styling session in your life

Professional/Social:

Ownership of the domain for your full legal/professional name and/or business name

A CPA/bookkeeper/fiduciary financial advisor

Automation workflow/content management system software

A lawyer for contract review/LLC services

Personalized stationery/"Thank You" cards

Memorable client gifting for the holidays/milestone successes

Niche skill-based certifications (Google, AWS, Hubspot, etc.) or courses made by trusted professionals in your field

Subscriptions in world-leading and industry-authority digital publications

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: goals you should set to become your best self

this is just a theory of mine because these bubbles of the matrix should represent your higher self. i feel like it could work for the outside numbers too that changes yearly... anywho - this is not to say that you can't accomplish goals/resolution not listed in your category / under your energetic number nor that your efforts not listed in your selection don't make you a better person. this is simply what i believe people with these numbers would benefit from doing and how they can gain new found confidence in themselves.

1 - the magician

start a garden, work on passion project(s), read or write a business/self-help books, get a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, study more tarot/astrology/mediumship, complete an art project, make your own soap or candles, start taking vitamins daily, declutter, learn to cook, learn to code, get car detailed, start journaling, do a paid class or certification course, start learning a new language, learn more about heritage, learn how to do nails at home, start a side hustle, learn to knit or crochet, learn how to manage a bonsai, or go to a concert

2 - the high priestess

delve deeper into spiritual practices, eat to support hormones, learn to bake, take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), start or restructure a self-care routine, take a beach/cruise vacation, play brain games, learn to makes candles, go to a fondue experience, reset closet or revamp style, try a juice cleanse, take a cooking class, get a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, practice tarot/astrology/mediumship abilities, or take self-defense class

3 - the empress

build up your crystal collection, reset closet or revamp style, go to an art museum, see a ballet or take a ballet class, sketch daily, practice makeup looks, keep a flower garden, get jewelry cleaned or revamp jewelry collection, save for real pearl/diamond/stone jewelry, learn to make your own candy/sweets, start a budget or emergency fund, reset closet or revamp style, save for a designer piece/accessory, start a new beauty/skincare routine, take a trip to a fancy restaurant, learn how to dried your own fruits, start a garden or try to grow something new in your garden, go to a concert/orchestra, read or write a poetry book, go to a play, start wearing lingerie (sometimes it's a pick me up to know you look good for yourself), get a boudoir photoshoot done, go to a vineyard or wine tasting (for those of drinking age), or take a dance class

4 - the emperor

start a new skincare routine, go on a rock climbing retreat, start going to the gym or become a personal trainer, try an adrenaline rush activity (skydiving, bungee jumping, etc), take a wood shop class, get more into your coffee - learn about sourcing/grinding beans, start taking better care of your eyes, start a hair care routine, start an oral health routine, start meditating, or start using time blocking or following a planner

5 - the hierophant

sketch daily, go on an architectural tour, start a beauty routine, go to a history museum, learn how to make pastries/sweets/candies, get your earrings cleaned professionally or save for a quality set, learn how to make sour dough, save for real pearl/diamond/stone jewelry, take piano/organ lessons or give them, take or give singing lessons, or take a class

6 - the lovers

get car detailed, get car license, do a bicycle marathon or learn how to rider a bike, read a set number of books, buy a quality briefcase / work tote, go on a day trip, start a gym membership or soulcycle classes, build up you crystal collection and learn how to use them, upgrade your desk set up, go for hand & foot message, learn how to do nails at home, start reading the newspaper (i recommend the new yorker), take a language classes, learn a new language, take a train trip, learn how to better your communication with others, or start talk therapy

7 - the chariot

start a garden or try to grow something new in your garden, learn how to bake or learn how to bake something new, start a new beauty routine, go on a boat trip / cruise, get car detailed, try a juice cleanse, upgrade glassware, declutter, invest in home, stay at a hotel or bed & breakfast, upgrade kitchenware, go on a lake trip, go tubing, invest in pearls, invest in real estate / land, try a new restaurant, get silver jewelry cleaned professionally, shop your pantry, go on a trip, or start journaling your intentions / bullet journaling

8 - strength

go to an amusement park, work on or finish a passion project, take ballroom dancing classes, learn about tea and tea leaves, learn to read tea leaves, start playing a new game or design a new game, practice vulnerability, go to the movie theater, start a flower garden, or get a pet

9 - the hermit

get a pet, organize bookshelves, try a juice cleanse, upgrade clothing or declutter closet, start an oral health routine, start journaling more consistently, learn more about emergency preparedness, invest in emergency preparedness, learn to cook something new, invest in new dining ware (new plates/bowls, cups / glassware, silverware, etc), try a food subscriptions (home chef, hello fresh, pickle of the month club, bokksu japanese snack box, etc), take care of a bonsai, take supplements, learn to knit or crochet, start an herb garden, learn to dry your own herbs, take a one way trip to anywhere, or go on a hiking trip

10 - wheel of fortune

learn about different incenses/herbs, practice or take a class in archery, plant a tree, invest in land, learn how to dry berries, start a budget, learn how to budget, start going to a gym / exercising, expand religious/spiritual/philosophical knowledge, learn how to play a new card game, learn how to spin your own wool (then you can move to weaving, crocheting, and/or knitting), learn how to make your own clothing, buy a luxury coat, take a trip to a country or place you have never been, start an oral health routine, take an etiquette class, learn about the customs of other countries/cultures, eat more fruit, get a beehive / harvest your own honey, start taking royal jelly, take a horseback riding lesson, upgrade shoes / shoe collection, support spiritual practices / keep learning about what you believe in / trust, or start practicing a positive mindset

11 - justice

go to a ballet or an art gallery, start using or invest in an air purifier, learn how to take care of house plants, buy a house plant, take a spa day, go to a spa, reset your cosmetics (please clean your brushes and sponges), wearing lingerie (sometimes it's a pick me up to know you look good for yourself), get a boudoir photoshoot done, organize your closet, declutter your closet, start a capsule wardrobe, learn how to make pastries/sweets, invest in diamonds, propose to your lover, buy a dress that makes you feel good and take yourself on a date (fancy diner and a play/opera/ballet), go to a fashion show or exhibit, buy yourself flowers, start a flower garden, invest in a luxury chair (a chaise, reading chair, gaming card - whatever your thing is, justice person), declutter your jewelry, invest in luxury jewelry, get your jewelry professional cleaned, go to a concert, read or write a poetry, buy yourself chocolate dipped strawberries, get hair extensions (i know you want to lol), do logic puzzles, or go to an escape room

12 - the hanged man

take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), learn how to better decode angel numbers, look into / practice natural medical remedies, take a ballet class, go to a ballet, revamp your self-care routine, go on a beach vacation, try a new tea or coffee, learn more about tea or coffee, practice photography or start a photography side hustle, take a dance class, read or write a smutty/romance/fantasy book, make a fairy garden, get a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, practice your tarot/astrology/mediumship abilities, start budgeting, try a new makeup look or practice your makeup skills, go to a concert, paint something, read or write a poetry book, take a swim class, make a poppet, or practice meditation

13 - death

start practicing or expanding homeopathic cures and remedies, learn more about meat sourcing, purchase/invest in half a cow or pig, learn how to cook and trim meats, try to be a vegetarian or a vegan for a month or longer, do a colon cleanse, read a philosophy of death book, expand your knowledge of magic, try a new period product, learn more about poisonous plants, make a frog pond, buy a scorpion/snake/snake, gift someone something unexpectedly, or declutter your space

14 - temperance

go on a hunting trip, take an archery class, read a book on religion or philosophy, start a devotional journal, read the book of your core religion or philosophy, purchase a book on dream meanings and keep a dream journal to reflect on your dreams, take a certification course or college class, take a horseback riding lesson, go on a horse drawn carriage ride, do logic puzzles, or learn how to better decode angel numbers

15 - the devil

invest in a fan or air conditioning unit, if you have the land for it - buy a cow/horse/goat, learn how to use kinetic tape, start dry brushing, invest in diamonds / diamond jewelry, propose to your significant other, invest in a luxury clock or watch, practice/learn better nail care, invest in room darkening curtains, invest in and use a happy lamp, start a lotion/cream skin routine, learn how to knit or crochet, invest in hair products (extensions, shampoo subscription, etc), start a hair routine, invest in leather fashion-ware, start a garden or try to successfully grow something new in your garden, invest in an ice maker or ice molds, or try a juice cleanse

16 - the tower

practice yoga, take an acrobatic/gymnastic class, learn about and practice homeopathic cures and remedies, take a first-aid course, learn how to bake, learn how to season and marinate your meats, get a bad haircut or shave your hair off, learn how to use a straight razor, learn knife skills, get a custom metal works done, take boxing lesson, go to a boxing match or monster truck duel, learn more about meat sourcing, purchase/invest in half a cow or pig, learn how to cook and trim meats, try to be a vegetarian or a vegan for a month or longer, take a wood shop class, start a cactus/succulent garden, buy a cactus or succulent, learn how to cook something from scratch (and be okay with failing at it multiple times), invest in pocket knife / knife set /leatherman / multitool and learn how to use it, invest in a tool kit, read or write a comic or graphic novel, take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), listen to more rock music, invest in a vinyl, go to a rock concert, maintain a pepper plant, or build a lego kit

17 - the star

learn how to make friendship bracelets, invest in a fan or air conditioning unit, take a flight lesson, use compression stockings/socks, take an architectural tour, read or write an astrology reading, get car detailed, get a club memberships, invest in an electronic device brand, collect movies, watch a new movie, invest in a camera, film a short film or practice photography, start a photography side hustle, practice shadow work, get rid of unused subscriptions, take an acting class, read or write a book on health or mental health, or read or write a book on positivity

18 - the moon

make a piece of abstract art, take a mixology course or find your signature drink (if you are of age), pay a fish, visit an aquarium, go on a fishing trip (for the dads), watch a fishery documentary, read or write a book of conspiracy theories, learn how to read a crystal ball, buy a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, practice your tarot/astrology/mediumship abilities, invest a camera, practice photography or start a photography side hustle, read or write poetry book, attempt hydroponics, practice bluffing, take an acting class, invest in new shoes, start using a sleeping eye mask, invest in silk pillow cases, buy yourself new quality bed sheets, start using a bonnet, invest in a typewriter, practice shadow work, buy a puppy, or purchase a book on dream meanings and keep a dream journal to reflect on your dreams

19 - the sun

read an autobiographical books, take ballroom dancing lessons, start an oral health routine, try a new card game, make your own chocolates, take an artistic/creative class, get new jewelry or an engagement ring, buy yourself flowers, start a flow garden, start a herb garden, learn how to dry your own herbs, go to a race of some sort (cars, horse, etc), invest in sporting equipment, buy and maintain an ivy plant, take a pottery class, or work on your passion project / hobbies

20 - judgment

buy an ant farm, practice astral projection, learn more about emergency preparedness, invest in emergency preparedness, practice illusions and slight of hand, buy and learn about poisonous plants, read the divine comedy, do a puzzle, buy a bubby, or wearing lingerie (sometimes it's a pick me up to know you look good for yourself)

21 - the world

start a garden or try to grow something new, take or give a guitar lesson, invest in air conditioning or fan, take an architectural tour, make your own teddy bear (literally sow one), buy a pair of quality/luxury boots, keep a calendar or planner, practice sun protect / use sunblock products, convert to wooden kitchen supplies (cutting board, spoon, etc), buy a luxury carpet, make a clay house guardian, invest in a luxury clock or watch, use compression stockings/socks, collect coins, learn how to use kinetic tape, build up your crystal collection, start a budget tracker, start a lotion for dry skin routine, learn to knit/crochet, start a hair care routine, invest in an ice machine or ice making trays, learn to make ice cream, take a pottery class, invest in real estate or land, keep a zen sand garden, or invest in a sculpture

22 - the fool

take flight lessons, take a flight to anywhere, get car detailed, get an astrology reading, practice your astrology reading abilities, learn how to ride a bike or do a bike marathon, go to the movie theater, invest in a luxury clock or watch, start a club memberships, take a train ride, take motorcycle classes, do something impulsive, filming or recording something and upload it online, learn to cross stitch / knitting / crocheting, invest in a camera, practice photography, watch a new movie / tv show, invest in a new tv, or take a class

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic" button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next. if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

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© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

[nightguide]

MEET YOUR COURSE LEADERS/LECTURERS OF THE ORIGINAL CAST OF GLEE

those i don't mention are karmic members of McKinley high (the reason the show ended with a claustrophobic mother of all plot holes that ended humanity with a Gomez leading the UN)

even Angelina Jolie went into hiding cuz of her (fear of nazar, ya Allah)

SANTANA LOPEZ: Ocular sciences (english literature (Master of Research (MRes)

RACHEL BERRY (OBERLIN): student

FINN HUDSON: student

KURT HUMMEL: War design (beauty guru's specialising in dermatology: actually a fashion apprenticeship with heartbreak (Master of Arts (MA)

NOAH 'PUCK' PUCKERMAN: Theosophy (Doctorate)

WILL SCHUESTER: student (choir leader spare time)

SUE SYLVESTER: Gym physics (19)

BLAINE ANDERSON: PSCHE (globalisation foundation degree)

JESSE ST. JAMES: Remedial biology (wood work doctorate)

SEBASTIAN SMYTHE: Cancer therapy (Higher National Certificate)

QUINN FABRAY: Arts and drama sociology (degree theory and masters in homeopathy doctorate)

BRITTANY PIERCE: White collar in past-life therapy (podiatry in biology: superhuman abilities to counter alternate realities Higher National Certificate)

SAM EVANS: Lt. sky high (Epistemology = childcare + bereavement Bachelor of Education (BEd)

ARTIE ABRAMS: Webb Degree associates archivists of the Starless Sea (personality pseudo-webinars in Intranet explorer) X-FILES

MARLEY ROSE: super girl (The Mediator enterprises in Shintoism to Ethical Investing Foundation degree)

TINA COHEN-CHANG: The Aquarian Conspiracy (Homo-Deus Apprenticeship)

LAUREN ZISES: Transactional analysis (Wall-Street immunology in bromatology Master's degree)

BECKY JACKSON: Database systems (in Jehovah's Witness Prognosticum Theologicum post-modernism to Unbroken art movement graduate degree)

MERCEDES JONES: The corpus hermeticum (dance therapy doctorate)

EMMA PILLSBURY: Architecture (Bachelor of Science (BSc)

SHELBY CORCORAN: Artificial sign language for remedial energy (Edgar Allen Poe society for wayward losers Doctorate)

TERRI SCHUESTER (MALONE): immunology in stage presence (Foundation degree)

HARPER OBERLIN: Social arts in Dubai and Brazilian architecture (hons in Universal Credits (UC) for post-graduates jobseekers allowance (Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery (MB ChB)

PUSHING DAISIES (RETURNING CAST OF HONOURARY BACHELORS DEGREE):

NED WILSON: THERAPY FOR WAYWARD DIMENSIONAL PLUTONIAN WARGODS (warhammer)

EMERSON COD: X-MEN LEADING CAREERS ADVISOR

CHARLOTTE 'CHUCK' CHARLES: PALMISTRY PHYSIOLOGY IN SOCIAL CARE (diploma of higher education)

OLIVE SNOOK: BROADWAY ELYSIUM (actors hell)

NIGHTINGALES DIALOGUE OF GAIMANS HELL: SINGER SONGWRITERS GUILD

TAYLOR SWIFT: Acupuncture/Shiatsu in Latin: morals (Master's Degree in Law (LLM)

DEMI LOVATO: Alexander Technique in Hebrew: eyes body function (Foundation degree)

SELENA GOMEZ: Aromatherapy in Arabic: algorithm (Diploma of Higher Education)

MATT SMITH: Buddhism in Aramaic: kindness (Doctorate)

HOST CAREERS SERVICE IN TOON-FICTION:

FINN THE UNBROKEN (adventure time): Jake the Dog

more yet to come

[thecandywrites]

Monster March 2023 Day 19- Mermaid Part 1

Something Special

Ok, so this has a lot I need to explain about myself before you read the story itself, which I will put under the cut.

But know that this will be taggged with trigger warnings for suicide, self harm, depression, mental breakdowns, nervous breakdowns, etc. And I will do that to keep you- the readers safe. Because you should take control of the media you consume and I do not want any of this to trigger anyone who is sensitive to such subjects or are uncomfortable with any of it. And if this does not sound like your kind of story or something you're not up for or comfortable reading. By all means, move on and find another that will give you the entertainment you are now doubt looking for. No hard feelings, happy and safe readings everyone.

Otherwise, thanks to @borealwrites for their Monster March 2023 prompt list, you're a life saver. And I mean that in a very literal sense.

So about the story itself. For MerMay a few years ago, a concept I had and then ran with was micro-mermaids. Mermaids that are as big as your fingers. And having a mom and sisters who keep aquariums, mutliple ones too. And while most them have been fresh water, my mom did keep a brackish tank for a while. We were always too poor to do salt water. But growing up with and around those, I know how niche it can be and how much joy and fun and relaxing it can be to just...sit there and watch these little jewles swim around. I'm very partial to guppies myself.

So imagine a world, where micromermaids are treated like venemous snakes are, you have to have special licencing and special certifications to even buy and own one. And so combine that with the aquarium industry, you would have to have special licensing and special certifications to buy, own and especially breed them. But not all breeders are good and responsible ones. I think we've all seen the horrors of the puppy mill industry. So there's a splash of that in here too.

Ok, so what you should know before you really read the story, is- I was totally the ugly duckling, turned beautiful swan type. But I didn't turn into a "beautiful swan" until senior year of high school - of which I graduated early from. So I grew up - the public school system, being largely ignored and being invisible and keeping my head down and blending in with the walls.

However, that was only one aspect of my life. Because that was my school life, in every other aspect, I was very much the "special kid" . Who is now an adult, with severe anxiety, a perfectionist complex, depression, suicidal thoughts and tendancies and someone who was lucky enough to get the intervention I needed and the help I needed through a psyche ward, Intensive Outpatient Psychotherapy and a 6 month Dialetical Behavioral Therapy. since my hopefully last- attempt 8 years ago.

And it didn't help that my dad was a narcissistic perfectionist (ex air-force) and a minister, who only gave love and affection when I performed said perfection to his standards. It meant that I very much was under the microscope to the congregation and always expected to set an example and be "picture perfect", the perfect kid, the perfect student, the perfect daughter to help with the family's "reputation" of being "the perfect family". And of course, purposefully, intentionally kept niave and ignorant to "preserve my purity". And all that fucking stupid bullshit. And I was unlucky in that when I was growing up, and dealing with deteriorating mental health, with a father figure like that, I was- I kid you not- "not allowed" to have mental health issures, because that would "tarnish the family's name and reputation". So I learned to mask at a very early age. And my mask has since, fallen, shattered, a few times over. And I've learned to simply remake it over and over as many times as I've needed to.

But what I've learned over the decades since- is that it is ok to not be ok. And you absolutely should have a support system, and personal boundaries, and autonomy and be given respect and dignity because you're a human being. And if the mask slips and or if the mask falls and shatters, it's not the end of the world. We just try again. And build from scratch if we have to.

And for those that can not fathom ever having these thoughts, I want to give you an illustration to help you wrap your head around this.

No one "earns" the right to be depressed or suicidal. It's like a new phone with those pre-installed apps that you can NEVER uninstall. That will give you push notifications- those notifications being 'you're worthless, you're a monster, you're a burden, you're better off dead, this is never going to stop, this is insufferable, you can't take this, just quit, just end it all, once and for all'- all the time. For those of us who have depression and especially suicidal thoughts and tendancies, we do not choose this. This is just our "factory settings" period.

Now with therapy and perhaps some anti-depressants, especially the right ones, they can either slow down the frequency of the "push notifications" from every 5 seconds to maybe ever five to fifteen minutes or even only a few times a day, if you're really lucky. And they can help you ignore the push notifications that intrude into anything and everything you do. And they can help you swipe them away when they do come up instead of clicking on the notification and staring into all the ugliness and internal darkness and see the laundry list of everything that's wrong that is causing us pain and anguish and guilt and suffering. Or worse yet, see the notification and fantasize about it or worse- agree with it. And then doing something that can not be undone.

However, the day I wrote this , was actually my 8th year anniversary of my last failed suicide attempt. And while I'm happy to be alive now. And I've had many wonderful experiences since then that I absolutely would have missed out on had I been successful.

When and if you decide to read this- you'll see, a lot of that, in this. And that's why this story is tagged with so many trigger warnings.

But what made this anniversary the hardest year yet- was Labor Day of 2022 my cousin, on my dad's side, successfully committed suicide. And now I have all of this survivor's guilt because me and my immediate family were never close with my dad's side of the family. She was my age. Her daughters are my daughter's age. And everything I thought I had dealt with and I thought I had healed and fixed with all my therapy and right medications since- came back up and reared it's ugly head. And I've been struggling ever since and this March has been the hardest since in the last 8 years.

That's why I launched myself into Kinktober last year and now Monster March. Because for me, this is part of my own therapy. And a way to create a world where everything is fine, and nothing hurts. Where I have control in times when I feel like my personal life is out of control, and it's just hit, after hit, after hit. Because in the last two years alone, I've lost 16 people in my personal close friends and family circle. My cousin and my grandfather died less than a month apart. One death, I had seen coming and had prepred myself for, the other took me by surprise and threw me off so bad I'm still reeling.

So this is my chance to make something new and beautiful and helpful and comforting and something that others who may be struggling with this, can have something that they connect with get sympathy and empathy and hopefully seek the help they need. Before they do something that can not be undone.

So, now, with all of that in mind and the forwarning, here's the story.

Monster March Day 19- Merperson- Micro-mermaid. 

Something Special

Part 1

Your whole life was spent in a huge community tank. With species of all kinds sharing the tank. And while families more or less had their own “homes”. All the kids tended to stay together and play in the various areas that were meant to keep the kids entertained while the parents, who were always live bearers, always seemed to continuously be popping out new babies. And at a certain point, all the kids went to a huge school in the large community tank. And while most could live just about anywhere, there was a sense of segregation. The guppy micros tended to stay together in their own schools, the neon tetra micros tended to school together, the mollies, and oscars and angels and of course the discus, being the largest micros of the tank. And in your opinion, the most cliquey. However, the older you got, the more separated the sexes of the same age got to be. It started just as the two groups were starting to mature. And of course, that’s when the schooling became more rigorous and more intense that all the girls and all the boys simply stayed in “dorms” at the school itself. The boys on one side and the girls on the other and by that point, it was your school mates in your own “grades” that became more or less like your sisters. The dorms themselves were large hunks of rocks that had holes and paths all throughout. It was like one big piece of swiss cheese. And each girl tended to keep to the different “bunks” that were these naturally occurring caves, fixed up to be little bunks where one could find solitude- to a degree, depending on how many other bunks were throughout. 

And the few times the two sexes could see each other in the large hallways there was always some gawking done on both sides. While siblings were the only ones allowed to approach each other. However, that wasn’t to say there weren’t some secret tunnels being dug on both sides when sexually mature and horny teenagers were concerned. 

However, all through school, you noticed that the teachers and mentors always seemed to single out the prettiest of the girls and say ‘oh she’s going to go for sure’ to each other when they would eat together while everyone else ate their various meals. And when you tried to ask about it, the teachers would deny ever saying anything. But the girls who were singled out, seemed to spend much more time with the mentors than in the classes with the teachers. And even they would not say anything about it. But always seemed to be more and more detached to the others emotionally and if anything, have a bit of a superiority complex because they had been singled out as “special”, “especially spoiled brats” was more of a fitting title. 

Most of you just wanted to get through school so you could go back home. And be with your home communities again and finally get a chance to get on with the rest of your lives. 

However, days before graduation, when most of you were looking forward to going back home, suddenly news seemed to spread through the school- all those “special” students who were going to be ‘go’ were all called out of class. And it was as if all the girls who were in that category- blew a breath of relief and seemed to say their quick goodbyes before going with the mentors to wherever they were supposed to go- to. 

And then, to your shock, all of you could hear crying in the hallways as you all instinctively swam towards the door to look out and see what was happening. The girls who were previously told they were “so special” all of their school careers were sobbing in the hallways. 

“What is going on? Why are they crying in the hallway?” You asked the teacher. 

“Oh, the poor dear.” Mrs. Coolie tsked with a shake of her head.  

“Ok, girls, girls, please, sit down.” She instructed as she swam to get everyone back into their seats. 

“Now, let me explain what’s going on…” She began before the mentors were back. 

“I need all of the guppy micros.” Mrs. Dalma insisted before you and the other guppies around you seemed to gulp nervously and began to collect your things. 

“Leave your things, I need you all to come with me right now!” Mrs. Dalma, the most intimidating of the mentors, snapped before all of you immediately dropped them and quickly swam to her before you got into the hallway and away from where all the other girls were sobbing into each other’s shoulders in a small room. 

“Into here.” Mrs. Dalma insisted before a special door opened to reveal a small room, made of plexiglass all around. And many humans were on the other side. 

“Into the room!” Mrs. Dalma practically barked and then pushed all of you into it then made you all “stand” apart while the humans looked more closely at all of you individually. 

Now while you all were used to the various humans, who you all knew and recognized who fed you and cared for you. These were different humans and you did not like the way they were looking at you and the others. But Mrs. Dalma was going down the line, showing you off like you were some…pedigree pet! 

And that’s when all of it began to make sense. The owner of the tank was selling off their better “stock” in their tank. 

When it was your turn, she had you spread your fins to show them off, before you were directed to swim across the box. And then brace your hands down on the floor while you had your fins spread out from the side and suddenly everyone crowded around the box and took pictures and then the lights shut off and then a special light was directed at you and when they did that, your body lit up in a way you had never known it could. And that’s when a bidding war broke out over you among all of them. Apparently something about the pattern on your body and fins was something they liked and wanted. And if it wasn’t for Mrs. Dalma actually holding your fins out like a sheet or blanket, you wanted to shrink in on yourself. The pattern was something you had never seen before, and neither had the others apparently. 

“Keep straight and keep your fins out.” Mrs. Dalma ordered through her smile of gritted teeth as she held your fins up and then had the others do the same so you wouldn’t “tire out”. 

Your whole life you were used to being seen as nothing special, just a regular dark guppy micro with a nonsensical pattern on your body, fins and tail. To you- in normal lights, your coloring wasn’t all that different than the others, you didn’t feel that your beauty exceeded any others the way the “special” girls always seemed to point out. If anything, you were the opposite! They were “classically” beautiful with bright, bold, and beautiful colors. If anything, you were dark and in your opinion, rather drab, except for this blob of dots on you. And you were content with that. But several people where now acting like you were the prettiest girl in the whole tank! 

What was this madness?

No wonder the others were crying, they must have realized why all of you were separated as kids. Kept single, kept virgin. Kept practically in the dark about all of this, like fish kept in a tank at seafood restaurant, you all seemed to serve a single purpose, to be raised up to be sold off like any other fish, whether to go onto a plate or into another tank- the feeling was the same. 

All your dreams of going back home and ever seeing your family again were dashed to pieces in only a few minutes. With one bang of the gavel, you were sold off, as were most of the others before Mrs. Dalma got the “news”. 

“Ok, girls, go back to class, get your things, go back to your bunks, pack up, you’ll get a chance to say goodbye to your families, but you’ll be leaving right after.” She informed you as the door was opened and suddenly huge guards were put into the tank to personally escort you and the others after they put special vests over your chests. All while the other kinds of girls were given the exact same treatment. And now all of you were crying as you picked up your books and only got to tell the others that you were sold off and leaving the tank and at least got to say goodbye to the others in the class before you went to your bunks with your guards while the guards themselves seemed to have bags of their own to put all of your stuff into for you. 

But just as you and the others who were about to leave, you were nearly attacked by the “special” girls who were suddenly so angry and rageful at you for “stealing” this from them. How they had spent their entire lives preparing themselves for this. But all because- the lighting was bad or some other reason that was not their fault, they weren’t chosen. And the guards were there to keep them from actually touching you. And to keep you from actually trying to trade places with them. But they were quickly put into nets of their own and separated from the others to “cool down” before others came over to give them a second look. And with a single nod- suddenly they were chosen again, granted not by who they originally thought they would be, but with being chosen, suddenly they were as sweet as sweet weed again and happy to get into the nets with their things and get out of the tank. 

You were put into a net and then all at once, without any warning, your blood was taken, then you were given injections all over your body. And a huge one right at the end of your tail before your tail fin. You could remember the “special” girls would routinely get out of class and come back sore and bandaged up. And had been on a special regimen of shots and medicine over the course of the last two weeks, now you were getting it all done in all one go. And your whole body hurt even when the others assured you they had given you something for the pain of the injections. If anything it took the initial sting out of them but you felt the ache of them in your whole body and you felt sick and ended up throwing up before you were cleaned and then put in fresh water that didn’t smell anything like your old tank. 

After that ordeal, you were put in a plastic tub on the outside of your home tank while the guards continued to collect all that the buyer chose. Your parents and other siblings though, soon got to come and say goodbye, but from inside the tank itself. But because of the distance, neither of you could hear or touch the other. 

‘What is happening?’ You signed to your parents. 

‘You are a very special girl. You were bought by another owner of another tank. You will get to choose a mate in life and have a home of your own now.’ Your father signed back with a brave smile while your mother was trying to smile through her tears as she held onto your little siblings in her arms while her pregnant belly was still full of future siblings. 

Your brothers from the boy’s side of the tank were even escorted over to you to say their goodbyes and while you went to the same school, you could barely recognize them as being your brothers for as little as you saw or even got the chance to socialize with them. 

All of them were saying that this was ‘a good thing’, that you were ‘lucky’. That you were ‘going onto a better life’. 

But you couldn’t feel that way. You didn’t feel lucky, you felt cursed. 

You just sat at the bottom of the container, wrapped in your blanket because the water that had been put in here was cold and your body hurt and the blanket was the closest thing to comfort you had while you glared at the bits of your tail and fins that stuck out beyond the blanket and resented them because you still didn’t know what it was about them made you so “special” in the first place. 

Three dots in a splotch and a pattern that showed up under a special purplish-blue light. Three dots that touched each other, somehow made you “so special” that you had armed guards to escort you and suddenly get the “special attention” that all the other “special” girls got earlier in their lives. And you were given a stack of books to “help you catch up” on the “special lessons” that you apparently hadn’t gotten in school that the special girls had already gotten and knew. But you ignored the stack of books and simply tried to commit to memory every face of each family member you had because you knew you would never get to see them again. 

[benditlikebuddhayogaalgarve]

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCIpYqkX7xQ

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCIpYqkX7xQ

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