#cerberus loves his bath time <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[devildomwriter]

Mammon Birthday Special 100 Fun Facts

1. Mammon states that he sleeps in the nude

2. Mammon despises witches and was nearly chopped into pieces by them once but Lucifer rescued him (although Lucifer was also the one to recommend they cut him into pieces)

3. When Levi tried attacking Mammon in his sleep, before he could even bring his foot down on Mammon, Mammon had him in a headlock

4. Mammon has a habit of stripping while drunk

5. Mammon does not like it when bath’s smell like flowers

6. Mammon’s dream for the future is having a carefree and playful life

7. Mammon starts his baths by washing his head

8. Mammon’s fear of ghosts and monsters originates a little after a year of living in the Devildom when he is possessed by a ghost

9. Mammon hates a Devildom song called “Corpse Rock”

10. Karasu refers to Mammon as noodle-boy

11. In earlier chats and Devilgrams Mammon is said to be a cat person, in later stories he is said to be a dog person, but his birthday information card again states he is more of a cat person

12. Mammon’s motto is “Money will makes the Devil turn millstones.”

13. Mammon’s daily activity is procrastinating in MC’s room

14. Mammon is obsessed with his shades and when he accidentally breaks them he’s devastated

15. According to Beelzebub, Mammon is bad at cooking and doesn’t make good peanut butter sandwiches

16. When Belphie and Beel helped Mammon pick out his human world outfit, he was so touched he bought them their human world clothes

17. Mammon states if the Devildom disappeared tomorrow he’d borrow as much money as he wanted to spend and not have to pay any of it back

18. Mammon’s favorite food in hell is Soy Sauce flavored cup ramen

19. In a love survey in B’s log, Mammin is said to be the active one pursuing love

20. Mammon is said to attract the “sassy and outgoing” types

21. The first thing Mammon does in the morning is check his stocks

22. In the love survey in B’s log when asked if he’d want to be bound by or bind his lover his response was “what do you want me to do? What did you say? Idiot!”

23. Mammon’s car is a Demonio 666 Lexura. The specific type was very rare and (unbeknownst to him originally) only with Lucifer and Diavolo’s help was he able to get it

24. Mammon easily forgets anniversaries and special dates of remembrance

25. Mammon is unable to express himself frankly

26. Mammon likes R&B music

27. Mammon is not a morning demon

28. One of the first things in the game said about Mammon by his brothers is that he’s a masochist

29. The results of a demon brain scanning app showed that Mammon’s thoughts are 90% money

30. Mammon’s worst RAD subject is Hexes and Curses

31. Mammon became Lucifer’s attendant in the Celestial Realm before Leviathan had even been born

32. Mammon was once almost roasted alive by hellfire

33. Mammon is a very bad liar and often admits exactly what he did when explaining that’s not what he did

34. Mammon was almost the one to tame Cerberus but Lucifer rushed in as he was about to confront the dog

35. Mammon is extremely protective of his little brothers

36. When forced to be honest, Mammon admits how much he admires and respects Lucifer

37. When Lucifer has a bad day, Mammon will bring him a drink and sandwich without being asked

38. Mammon was almost kicked out of the celestial realm thousands of years before the fall until Lucifer got through to him

39. Besides the people who were told what Simeon was going through in season 4, Mammon was the first one to notice something was wrong with him

40. Once Mammon was punished by Lucifer by being tickled until he laughed so hard he was humiliated

41. Mammon was given a serum with unknown results that caused him to tell MC he wanted to do many explicit things with them

42. Even Michael was unable to handle Mammon as an angel

43. Mammon is so fast that not even Diavolo and Lucifer can catch up to him

44. It’s been mentioned multiple times that Mammon uses crows as familiars

45. When Lucifer cannot trust Diavolo, he turns to Mammon

46. Mammon once called up Simeon to ask about significant lines in the TSL series so he could successfully hack into Leviathan’s akuzon account

47. Levi and Mammon sometimes perform standup comedy

48. When Mammon tried making a cake for Lucifer on his birthday in the Celestial Realm, he accidentally destroyed the kitchen, infuriating Michael

49. Mammon works as a model occasionally

50. In lesson 11 of the game Mammon claims he is well over 5,000 years old

51. In the celestial realm Mammon would often watch over the younger angels

52. Mammon once tried selling bird feathers to the lesser angels, claiming they were seraph feathers

53. In the celestial realm, Mammon once used the lesser angels to play a game of life-size chess

54. Mammon is said to have been the one who rallied and encouraged the angels in the Celestial war

55. Unlike his brothers, Mammon doesn’t often lose control of his powers

56. Whenever Mammon comes up with solutions to a crisis, they usually make things worse

57. Mammon struggles with math unless he thinks about it as calculating money

58. Mammon loves pandas because they’re profitable

59. Mammon always lets his brothers know about sales and deals going on

60. Mammon is the one who told Lucifer to always have pride and not regret his decision about the war

61. Mammon was cursed to speak like a cat during season 4 and Satan was unable to leave his side even getting Mammon to play with cat toys.

62. The first time Mammon lost control of his powers and transformed into a demon in the game is when he misunderstood a conversation between Levi and MC and assumed they had “relations”

63. Mammon is one of the only people who will indulge Asmodeus and watch his one-man fashion shows

64. When Mammon put too many meals on Satan’s tab, Satan called up Solomon and told him Mammon wanted to try his new recipe

65. Mammon has kidnapped MC multiple times

66. Mammon sometimes goes clubbing with Asmo after part time jobs

67. After Mammon sold all of their silverware he was fired from Ristorante Six

68. Mammon is sometimes referred to as MC’s pet

69. Mammon continues to insist he’s MC’s master not the other way around

70. Mammon sees Luke as his little brother

71. Student council members used to oversee detention until Mammon kept getting detention himself

72. Mammon once accidentally cast a spell on himself that made him burst into song

73. Mammon once accidentally turned himself into a dog

74. Mammon accidentally cursed himself and became extremely small. He was scared of how Beel was looking at him

75. When Mammon made the Miss’em dolls he became extremely wealthy but later blew it all on gambling

76. Mammon is too scared to watch horror movies alone and asks Lucifer to watch them with him

77. Mammon once attacked Lucifer with a three-prong pitch fork when he embarrassed him

78. Mammon has cried from fear of Simeon multiple times

79. Mammon was unable to even pretend to break up with MC

80. Mammon is one of the reasons you need a permit to get to the human world rather than do so freely

81. Mammon got a Mohawk once but his brothers teased him so much he immediately got rid of it

82. Mammon loves the Devildom version of Harry Potter

83. Mammon often threatens lesser/younger demons to hand over all their money

84. Mammon once stopped a bank robbery and demanded the money as compensation

85. Mammon accidentally cut down a Christmas tree gifted to Lucifer from Diavolo

86. Mammon was tricked by Lucifer to gamble against everyone he’d ever screwed over all at once

87. Mammon calls going to the horse races “seeing the horsies” to try and convince MC to tag along

88. When he was Lucifer’s attendant, Mammon sought for a rare Crystal Lily flower to gift him but got lost and Lucifer had to come find him

89. Mammon used Serenity Manor as collateral in gambling as soon as he got to the human world, almost forcing everyone to go right back to the Devildom

90. When coming up with proposal’s Mammon forced Simeon, Solomon, and Luke to participate in a flash mob

91. Mammon has a blood oath with MC and Leviathan

92. Mammon accidentally won Henry 1.0 while trying his first Devildom ice cream. He was nearly eaten.

93. Mammon owns an AK-47 after winning it over in a game against Leviathan

94. Mammon fees guilty that he didn’t have a grand reason to follow Lucifer to hell rather than just feeling like it

95. Mammon once lost a bet to a bunch of rabbits

96. Mammon prefers spicy foods to sweets

97. Mammon extorted Satan for 50,000 Grimm in exchange for throwing him a baseball

98. Mammon’s highest known rank in the celestial realm within the game is a Throne

99. When Mammon was turned into a Test Name box he got used to it immediately, disappointing Beelzebub

100. Mammon died in season 4 for a few minutes but was brought back by Barbatos

[olivyh]

Does nobody in this house knock?

A/N: I've had this idea in mind for a while, and I've been on an Obey Me kick recently- I love these boys so much and they're so fun to write for (although consistently including six/seven people in one story is a bit of a challenge). This is supposed to be read as platonic but could go either way tbh. GN mc as always loves <3

Slight TW: For nudity (nothing serious really happens MC is just taking a bath and the brothers don't know what privacy is)

The House of Lamentation had its ups and downs- of course, the place was massive, which came with a plethora of spaces to crawl into if you wanted a moment of silence or needed a pretty room to study in. The kitchen was just as spacious- you were sure you couldn't use up all the counter space if you wanted to. The architecture was gorgeous and you could stare at the paintings that littered the halls all day (you wouldn't dare, though, after being told that some of them dislike the attention and could curse you if you stare for too long). Similarly, your room was one of your favorite spots in the house (along with Asmo's bathroom, which you were one of the lucky few to get the privilege of using when he wasn't having one of his frequent spa days. You also enjoyed wandering around the mansion (which, sadly, you were banned from doing after getting lost in one of the never-ending hallways and ending up deep underground, leading you to tearfully call Mammon and a house-wide scramble to find you before another one of Levi's rogue pets did). 

The downs were, naturally, the lack of private time. Despite how big the house was, everywhere you went one of the brothers seemed to conveniently be heading in that same direction or even already in that room. Did you want a snack in the kitchen? Beel was three steps ahead of you, and already inviting you out to Madam Screams after he cleans out the fridge. Need to study in the library? Satan just so happened to be going there as well (did he not have enough in his room? You thought almost bitterly at the loss of your time). Wanted to nap in the planetarium? You trip over a passed-out Belphie (why was he sleeping in the doorway?) and end up with a bloody nose from the impact. Wanted to sit in the common room? Levi was already there, playing Devil Cart on what looked like the Devildom's version of a switch with Mammon. If you wanted to study at the dining room table, Asmo would find you and all but drag you to his room for an impromptu game of dress-up. You'd thought going to the eldest would at least leave you alone, opting to study in his office until he'd corrected you on your posture and the way your shirt was hanging loosely off one shoulder more than the other every time, occasionally asking you questions relating to your work and not-so-subtly correcting every wrong answer you'd made (even if you never fully finished the problem). 

The brothers, however, knew that one time of the week was off limits- Saturday nights. You would often slip away and claim the shared bathroom for hours at a time, lighting candles and filling the bath until it was just high enough for you to soak up to your shoulders in. Of course, this was met with very little resistance (especially considering that all seven brothers somehow shared one bathroom with one toilet, which always baffled you. Though, you were certain that Lucifer had one of his own and was neglecting to let the others know). It never clashed with the nights Beel would come back from the gym in desperate need of a shower, or the nights Asmo would stumble back to the house covered in lipstick stains and reeking cheap perfume, or when Mammon would return covered head-to-toe in mud from walking Cerberus. You needed your time, you had told them. And they'd obliged. So, you'd set up a small routine to relax.  

Which was exactly what you were doing. You slip out of your silk robe (gifted by Asmo, naturally) and take a step onto the stool. The shared bathtub was absolutely massive, and you had to shyly ask Lucifer if he had a stool you could use just so you didn't have to climb into the damned thing the first week here. At a distance, it looked normal until... you stepped closer and realized that it wasn't. Although, you supposed it made sense considering how large the brothers were, especially Beel. It was hard picturing him fitting into a normal-sized tub, especially remembering that he struggled to submerge himself fully in the one they already had. Chuckling to yourself, you gingerly lowered yourself into the warm water with a sigh as you feel the pressures of the day melt away into the bubbly water.

The candlelight is the only thing illuminating the room, and the soft sounds of the water splashing against the side of the tub is nearly enough to lull you to a soft sleep if you'd decided to give in to the temptation. The brothers seem to be quieter than usual as well tonight, as you would normally hear some kind of yelling while bathed in the silence of the bathroom. You gently kick your feet in the water and watch as the ripple shines in the gentle candlelight. 

The water in the Devildom had shocked you with its opalescent gleam the first time you'd seen it, worried about drinking it. It had reminded you of the colorful outline left from oil slicks in puddles after it would rain. You were relieved to learn that it wasn't toxic, now basking in the slight glow that it gave your skin and the way it soothed any aches that you had. 

It was the perfect night, but you'd regretted not grabbing a snack to keep with you, or a glass of Demonus to drink while you soaked (even though you wouldn't get drunk and it tasted more like a spicy grape juice, you still felt fancy).

"Oh my stars, hon, you would never guess what happened!" You're shaken out of your thoughts as Asmo's shrill voice rings through the open doorway He makes his way over to the bath, pulling up the chair that sat in the corner of the room and you try to hide your growing annoyance. He leans over the edge of the tub, teasing his fingers in the water and playing with the bubbles. "So I was at the Fall, right-"

"Asmo," You say, a quiet warning. 

"And he really thought he could get away with trying to get between me and this other guy! Like, how dumb could you be? So anyways I turned to him and-"

"Asmo!" The demon pouts, folding his arms on the warm porcelain and resting his head on them, looking up at you through thick eyelashes. "I'm naked."

"I'm aware," He huffs, pursing his lips. "I've seen you bare before, love. Even if I hadn't, your body is not unappealing." He winks and you feel your face heat up. "So back to what I was saying-"

"MC!" Another shout and you groan, sinking deeper into the bath. "You're never gonna guess what I just did! I won the horse races! Highest bet, baby!" Mammon pumps his fist in the air as he beams, mussed hair likely from nervously running his hands through it. 

"You're interrupting my story, you ass!" Asmo shouts. 

"This is more important than your dumb story, drama queen!"

"Mammon!" You grumble. "Bathing?" He doesn't seem to hear you, though, as he continues to pace around the room, recalling every small detail about the race. His keychain clicks against the chains that loop from his belt, the clinking ringing through the room and grating on your nerves even more. Asmo continues to mindlessly play with the bubbles, even raising a soft hand to place a small crown of bubbles atop your head. You take it as a quiet apology from the demon. 

"I finally finished the book you'd asked me about-" Satan, as perceptive as he is, seems to understand your harsh glare from within the bath as he walks confidently through the open door (courtesy of Mammon and his excited forgetfulness). "And I'm aware that this is your time but I simply could not wait another moment-" He sits beside Asmo, nearly pushing the smaller man off the chair. The latter gasps dramatically, rounded lips forming a harsh 'o' shape as he holds his hand over his heart, offended as ever.

"Hey! I wasn't done yet!" Mammon huffs, crossing his arms and glaring at his younger brother. 

"You are now," He sneers before slipping open his book, reading through various notes and post-its he left buried within the pages. "Now, this scene in particular really stuck with me, and I'd very much like to hear your thoughts on it. It's when the protagonist-"

"Mc," Another quiet, almost apologetic voice from the doorway. Beel stands, nearly taking up the entire entrance, with armfuls of chips as he empties a bag into his mouth and tosses it into the trash near the sink. "I felt like you were hungry, so I got you something to eat," He holds out another bag and you take it, sighing as you fumble to open it and dig in. 

"Thanks, big guy," He hums before sitting cross-legged on the floor beside a still dejected Mammon, offering the older a bag as well. You don't have it in you to be annoyed at the gentle giant, and you were getting a little hungry, after all. 

"Anyways, back to my story-" Asmo begins, filling up the silence. 

"I didn't finish either," The second born growls through a mouthful of chips. 

"Finish eating, and Asmo, you were here first, you did your time and now it's my turn-" Satan shuts both of them down. 

"I wanna tell them about practice-" Beel interjects, moving on to another bag of chips. "I did a really cool move where-"

"Mc!" Another familiar voice joins the fray. "SoIwaswatchingthatshowyoutoldmeaboutandIthoughtitwasreallycoolandthere's-" Levi takes a gasping breath before continuing. "Areallyreallyreallycoolshowcaseonitinthehumanworldcomingupandweshoulddefinitelygo-"

"Levi, sweetheart, please breathe." You remind him, sinking deeper into the bath until it's just your eyes and nose peeking out from the surface of the water, glad that it muffles the sound a bit. 

"We should definitely go and wear matching costumes like the main characters and it'll be really cool and I already have an idea on how to make the props and it'll take a bit of time but we can definitely get it done in time and-"

"Ignore him," Satan sighs. "Anyways, I believe this scene is incredible I mean, did you see the wording in the second to last paragraph? It was so emotional I could hardly believe that he was faking it the whole time and-"

"My love, I never finished telling my story!" Asmo whines, pulling at your knee, which escaped from the water and is exposed to the chill of the air from when you sunk down further. "So then we ordered some Demonus, you know, as you do, and then this song starts playing and he comes back, so Solomon and I look at each other- you know that one look we share sometimes?- yes, that one, so we look at each other and then-"

"Hey, with all the money I just got, we should go shopping, yeah?" Somehow, Mammon had snuck around to the other side of the tub and started pacing on that side, grinning to himself. "I'll spoil ya rotten, I swear. Where do ya wanna hit first? We could go to Majolish, or we could hit that designer store up in the human world ya were tellin' me about-"

Beel continues to sit in silence, but his loud crunching is nearly deafening with all the noise the brothers are making, each of them unwilling to stop talking and wait their turn. 

"Mc-" A yawn. "Here you are-" Belphie stumbles, half-awake (and you weren't even sure of that, with how limbs moved ragdoll-like and the way his eyes were still closed.) "...was looking... everywhere..." He cuts himself with a snore before he falls forward and his stomach collides with the side of the tub, flipping over and landing in the water with you. 

"Belphie!" You shriek, fumbling to simultaneously get as far away from the still-sleeping demon as possible while trying to save him and while also trying to cover yourself from the eyes of the men in the room. 

"You're naked?!" Mammon screams, backing away until his back hits the wall. 

"HUH?!" You hear Levi wail before a thud sounds through the room and, if Satan's snort is any sign, you were sure he'd definitely just passed out and was lying unconscious on the cold tile of the bathroom. 

"Of course they're naked!" Asmo hums. "Who bathes with clothes on?"

"I don't care! Someone get Belphie out right fucking now!" You scramble up the side of the tub, feeling the rough fabric of his cardigan as he surfaces for air, still asleep as he hugs you as close to him as possible, burying his face- or what little you could see of it, with how his soaked hair conceals practically the entire thing- in the crook of your neck and wrapping his legs around your own (you grimace at the feeling of his wet sweatpants against you). Beel comes to your rescue as he attempts to pry his twin's arms off of you and apologizing every time his hands brush your exposed skin. Embarrassment heats your face as you try to squirm away, shouting at Mammon to grab you a towel as more and more water sloshes out of the tub, effectively soaking the pages of Satan's book and smearing some of Asmo's makeup. The former lets out an annoyed grumble as he curses the seventh for falling in and causing a scene in the first place while the latter gasps and rushes towards the mirror to assess the damages done, complaining about how perfectly his makeup was done today and now he was going to have to start all over-

Mammon rushes forward, towel in his extended arm as he slips on the spilled water with a yelp and sends himself flying into the tub as well, landing on top of Beel, who was still attempting to pry Belphie off of you. Beel, shocked by the impact, drops Belphie back onto you and is sent forward by Mammon's weight. Mammon follows close second, leaving you with three demons now in the tub as you try to shove all three off of you. It's difficult for them, as Beel is face-down in the water, his face wedged between your stomach and Belphies, with his legs bent awkwardly out of the tub and Mammon wedged between you and the wall, hands unable to find purchase as he's contorted and squished- not to mention that Belphie's legs had attempted to wrap tighter around your own and had successfully trapped Mammon's arm against your thigh and his face against the space between your shoulder blades, as well as further squishing his twin's face between the two of you. Both your hands are occupied with getting their heads out of the water so they could at least breathe, with two fistfuls of ginger locks and snow-white ones. 

"Everyone out, NOW!" Lucifer's voice rings from the doorway and the room is silent once more. The eldest grabs Beel's collar and pulls him out of the tub, with a grumbling Belphie following close behind (finally awake from the shouting). Mammon follows soon after, skirting out of the room without needing to be asked twice, not concerned in the slightest about how soaked his designer jacket was as you were sure he was going to explode from how red his face was. Asmo and Satan follow close behind, with the fourth-born grabbing a still-unconscious Levi by the ankle and dragging him out of the room. You sigh and sink into what little is left of the water, resting your head against the edge of the tub. 

"Thank you," You sigh. "That was a nightmare." 

"Of course," The firstborn stands still for a moment, clearing his throat. "While I am here, I recently received the scores from the exam that you had taken last week-"

"Lucifer," You glare at the man, eye twitching in annoyance. "Out."

He sighs, turning on his heel and striding out the door, closing it behind him with a click. Finally, in silence, you try to relax once more. 

The pounding of your heart doesn't allow it, though.

Neither do the bruises on your stomach from Beel's hard-as-a-rock forehead, or on your ribs from when Mammon had elbowed you in an attempt to flee, or the scratch on your back from when Beel had tried to separate Belphie from you only to find that the youngest was going to fight tooth and nail to continue your impromptu cuddle session and dug his bitten nails into your skin.

You laugh bitterly- something caught between an annoyed growl and a sob- and slam your fist uselessly against the porcelain. 

You were going to get them back for this.

[littletealseal]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ok I think after a few posts of drawing Beetlejuice regressed I think I should probably make a headcanon post for him! ^^ This will be split into two bits, one with babyre and toddlere, since I've seen most folks have him be toddlere, and I wanna have a swing at thinking up stuff for him in that head space c:

Baby BeeJ

🪲: Age range is about under a year

🪲: His caregivers are Adam, Barbara, and Jacques, Lydia sometimes helps look after tiny BeeJ being like a big sister figure to him

🪲: While much quieter than his usual self, he still babbles a lot when he gets something on his mind

🪲: Can be seen wearing a loose grey hoodie and dull purple sweat pants when this tiny. Beetlejuice does have a few onesies for when he's tiny, but he prefers to wear those to bed.

🪲: Incredibly clingy and super cuddly, loves being carried and cradled when this tiny. He hates to be left alone and will start to cry if left by himself for too long

🪲: Beetlejuice has a Cerberus plushie with each head being named, Sticks, Stones, Bones respectfully. They were a gift from Adam and Barbara after learning that BeeJ used to have a Cerberus plushie with the same names as a kid

🪲: While still hating them, he's surprisingly more compliant having to take baths, surely the toys and rubber ducks probably help with convincing him

🪲: Most of the toys he has are spooky themed of course, but some just have darker colors to them, still somewhat matching the theme

🪲: Always has a pacifier clipped to his hoodie or onesie, with a skull or black cat clip

🪲: Loves being bottle fed and read to, usually always puts him right to sleep from how relaxed he gets

Toddler BeeJ

🪲: Age ranges from 3 to 4

🪲: Adam, Barbara, and Jacques still look after him when smol

🪲: Much more chatty and much like his usual self, talks about all sorts of things that peak his interest and of course, asks tons of questions

🪲: Wears a purple tee shirt and dark blue overalls with a black cat patch on the front pocket when in this head space, also sporting a few bandages when necessary

🪲: While always a trouble maker, his mischievousness is amplified when in his toddler head space. He does harmless things but still manages to get into tons of trouble

🪲: Always needs to be kept an eye on during this time since he could run into trouble unknowingly, and also just hates to be alone like before, not as clingy but still loves cuddles

🪲: Still takes Sticks, Stones, Bones everywhere he goes

🪲: Now puts up much more of a fuss when it comes to baths, the rubber ducks and water crayons are still tempting though

🪲: Lots of spooky themed and dark colored toys for his age range, tons of teethers too in Halloween shapes since he now just gnaws on things than using pacifiers

🪲: Uses sippy cups instead of bottles now, still loves being read too

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On to thoughts on those around BeeJ that might know about his regression, since ngl this was making me curious since I see BeeJ being pretty private about this.

Adam & Barbara: Both his cgs so yeah lol

Jacques: Also one of BeeJs cgs

Lydia: Def knows and helps out by watching over smol BeeJ at times

Ginger: Does know and is cool about it, she discovered Beetlejuices regression by stumbling across some of his plushies that were left out

Monster Across The Street: Doesn't know but does suspect something's up with how BeeJ acts sometimes. Though if he knew he'd be chill about it

Donny: Doesn't know and knowing Beetlejuice he wouldn't want Donny to know at all. If somehow he did find out, Donny would be more than accepting of his brothers regression

Bea: She'd be rather confused at first would eventually warm up to the idea of her son regressing if Beetlejuice ever told her

Nat: Confused as well and would at first think this is another excuse to not work, but after explaining everything about agere he'd slowly accept this being something his son genuinely enjoys doing, and it being something for BeeJ to use as a coping mechanism. Of course if Beetlejuice ever said anything about this

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Aaaand that's it! I hope you guys enjoy these! ^^

[demonic-silver-and-gold]

Diary of an Attendant/Friend/Stranger (3)

Excerpt 3: Pets and Shenanigans

{Masterlist} {Ao3}

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Spoilers for all games, cursing, liberal use of strikethroughs

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

That wasn’t fair. So not fair. But hey, at least I know how Levi got Henry 1.0 and how Lucifer got Cerberus. I should’ve known better, honestly, than to expect them to have gotten such large and dangerous animals not in the midst of chaos and a near-death experience.

But hey! Solomon’s muffins work wonders to repel everyone unwanted creatures (thanks, Asmo, for ignoring me this time). Also, can’t fucking believe I might’ve had an impact on the block of ice idea for Goldie — here’s to making life easier for future/past me! I was JOKING this guy has a sense of humor my god.

I guess it’s like Sol said, that even through time and space we’re still connected. I’m even missing the punishments I can’t get here, how messed up is that? Not to mention the fact Dia wants to add me to the founding of RAD which is just baffling. Heck, I said so myself but his mind was made up and I couldn’t help but agree. It's... weird, but nice, in a way.

And then the fuzzy feeling in my chest had to be ripped away after Lucifer just confirmed what I already knew — that I wasn’t trusted nor wanted but hey, SNAKES.

And as I can never really get a break, of course Solomon had to go and wave the idea that there was a monster that would get them respect. He might be my teacher, a mentor — hell, even a friend — but it’s still not sitting well with me how easily he chose to manipulate them into the situation. I’m overthinking again, whatever. Right now he’s my main hope of going home. Maybe I'm just bitter that he can come and go as he pleases, what exactly is that Nightbringer being getting at by having me here? Do I know them?

Then the situation with that (those?) dog(s?) happened. (Love you Cerberus, but you're in my nightmares for a reason).

I can’t shake off the feeling I got when Mammon and I started talking about pacts. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, when he admitted how he saw such a connection and I silently compared it to how ours had happened. I almost apologized on the spot but held my tongue. Can’t apologize for something you technically haven’t done yet, right? You sure can try, but I still didn’t. It’s the guilt, it got to me. I’m starting to doubt everything about our relationship (my time Mammon and I). I wouldn't blame him, honestly, if he'd push me away for it. Maybe I do need therapy, actually.

Oh, and can I just say — Solomon, how the fuck do you get a relatively passive demon to absolutely despise you openly? Seriously, it’s Barbatos, of all demons. What did you even do?! Regardless, I’m glad I got to spend some time learning about tea etiquette with him before this whole mess happened, otherwise I’d have lost it in the middle of that interview.

I'll write about Cerberus more in depth later, I don't want to think about it right now. Quickly in summary: traps to get to Cerberus happened, shenanigans ensued (loved seeing Satan getting dragged into the lake like a kitten getting its first bath), Asmo was shaken with his newly unlocked power, Beel was summoned somehow and then BOOM — Lucifer got a three headed dog.

I still worry about the brothers more than I should. Seeing them being so vulnerable is awful, like I shouldn’t be here. I really should just tell them the truth just to shut them up, for them to believe I care. I hate lying like this, taking advantage of their trust. Maybe I should try harder to make pacts, even if it feels so wrong, just to get out before it’s too late. Maybe that’ll help. I don’t know anymore.

I think Levi's in trouble, I'll see what I can do next time I see them all.

[rad-fulltime-exchange-program]

Everyone is so cute with the pet regressor ask!! >.<

What about the brothers with an age regressor who regresses around 2-3 years old??

Sorry this is so short I hope you still like it. I would love to do more with CG obey me (maybe post rules and routines? to help single littles or pets??)

Lucifer: -being a caregiver is in this mans DNA -can seem strict but it's out of love for you -makes you a little corner in his office for you to play while he works -LOVES to sit down and color with you -in little space you become obsessed with "puppy" and Lucifer is always worried that Cerberus will hurt you

Mammon: -spoils you with gifts all the time -you want that cute sippy you saw at the store? he's already at checkout with it -totally makes a sandbox where he hides grim for you to find as a treasure hunt -Since the witches call for him often he gets you a stuffie that has his voice in it so you always have him with you

Levi: -this man is THRIVING -loves to watch cartoons with you can will even help you make cosplays for your favorites -you have so many dolls and action figures. He even makes them hand made accessories and sets -he gets you little floaties and teaches you to swim too -your bathes are always decked out in the coolest water toys(I'm jealous)

Satan: -you live in the little kids section at the library -gets you a black stuffed cat and you take it everywhere to the point he got it it's own little backpack for school -loves to help you learn so you two are always going on adventures -reads to you before bed every night -if you wear glasses he totally gets you those toddler glasses holder and it's his favorite thing ever

Asmo: -prepare for the best dress up and tea party partner ever -makes you a personalized paci if you use them -if you color him a picture he is showing it off! dedicates a wall to your pictures -best wardrobe out of the brothers littles -lets you do his makeup all the time too

Beel: -first thing this man does when he finds out is make you a playground and ball pit -you are almost never walking or crawling he is always carrying you -he gives you those little puff things as a snack often just because he likes them -loves taking you to the shop with him and always make sure you can sit in the little seat -you have all the best toys for playing outside

Belphie: -nap time is a must and its best to not fight it -constantly has playdates with Beel's little -has the biggest paci collection and belphie brags about it -loves it when you play with his tail -water? never heard of her he always makes you either tea or angles milk

[aricazorel]

Rebecca Shepard prompts

#19 "After everything…I’d still choose you."

#10 "You make everything a little easier."

Becca Shepard x Kaidan Alenko

ME3, Act 2, post-'Sanity Check' & chapter 3 of 'Rebecca Shepard on AO3, 1142 words

from this prompt list

“Hey,” Kaidan said sleepily as he rolled over, missing the warmth of Rebecca cuddled up beside him. “Are you awake?”

He opened his eyes to find the N7 sitting on the side of the bed in her quarters. The blankets were tossed aside as she leaned forward, head in her hands. Her braid now a mess from sleep was slung over her left shoulder. She made no indication that she heard him or that she wanted to answer either.

Wiping a hand over his face, he sat up. “Becca? Are you okay?”

Silently she shook her head. He frowned as he scooted closer to her. Quietly Alenko said, suddenly very alert, “Okay. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Shepard shrugged her shoulders once again remaining silent. “Did you have another dream?”

She nodded.

“The same one?”

This time she shook her head ‘no’.

Kaidan took a breath. When it came to Rebecca Shepard and emotions, patience was often required. Fortunately for them both, the Major had plenty. If he had to play 20 questions with her all night to figure out what was wrong, he would.

Since their date on the Citadel which they had playfully termed a ‘sanity check,’ they had been sharing quarters, trying to begin again. That was when he had discovered her nightmares which in turn explained her reluctance to go to sleep sometimes. He had hoped their rekindled relationship in addition to his proximity might have helped ease that. He supposed it had to a degree but that didn’t mean they would completely disappear.

Kaidan scooted across the mattress again, positioning himself behind her. He hugged her to his chest, trying to reassure her she was not alone. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he said softly, “I’m here, sweetheart. However you need me.”

“I know,” she finally said even though her voice was barely a whisper.

He kissed her cheek as he pulled her back on the mattress towards him away from the edge. Alenko nestled her in his lap as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “You don’t have to say anything. We can just sit her for a while.”

Rebecca said nothing and instead moved to rest her hands over his. It was a small gesture but an important one. As the Commander, she had to make grand speeches and take dramatic actions but as Becca, it was the small things that mattered more. Taking her silence to mean she just wanted to sit with him, the Major nuzzled her cheek with his nose.

They sat in the stillness of the room. The cabin quiet except for the hum of the Normandy and the bubbling water from the aquarium. The tank’s soft blue light bathing the room in a calming aura. It reminded him of dealing with his migraines back on the SR-1. Back then, he’d retreat to the medbay, dimming the lights to the bare minimum and lay on the bed farthest from the door. Eventually Shepard had figured out his routine and would check on him. Those check-ins often resulted in extended visits if time allowed. Visits which had allowed them to become closer.

“It was about you…and me…and what happened on the Citadel during the Cerberus siege,” she stammered out. “I—Udina—I shot you. I watched you die because I wouldn’t give you a chance to make up your own mind. I just shot you without a second thought and watched you bleed out. I—”

“Hey! Hey, that didn’t happen. It was just a nightmare,” he said as he hugged her tightly to his chest. “I’m alright. I’m here with you—where I belong. It wasn’t real.”

“But I—What if I hadn’t—”

“I trust you, Becca, and if I didn’t believe you knew what you were doing, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have believed you on the Citadel, but I did because I know you, sweetheart. I love you, and I know you’ll always do the right thing.”

Kaidan felt the N7 curl in on herself, his arms acting as a shelter from all the possible horrible outcomes her mind could conjure up. The L2 scooped her up in both arms and turned her to let her head rest against his shoulder. As she folded in on herself again, she mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

The Major’s heart ached as he heard her apologize for something—for anything and everything he knew she had no fault in. Even back on the SR-1 he’d known she had a tendency to hold herself responsible for things she had no reason to. No amount of reminders that she shouldn’t do that would help. He’d learned that the hard way. Instead, it was usually better to talk it out with her. Eventually she’d see how futile it was and would gradually accept that she couldn’t help everyone or fix every situation.

That only worked if she talked though.

“Becca, you have nothing to apologize for. It was a dream—a nightmare,” he murmured as he played with strands of hair that had escaped her braid.

“But after everything, after Alchera, after Horizon, and now the Citadel siege, how can you want to be here? How could you choose to put yourself in a situation that could cause you so much pain again? I—”

“Because…” he interrupted as he hooked a finger under her chin and made her look at him. “Because, Becca, after everything…I’d still choose you. I will always choose you until you give me a reason not to.”

Shepard gazed at him uncertainly as he caressed her cheek. He continued, “Remember I said a way a thing goes down does matter? Well, sweetheart, even though we’ve had some disagreements and not always been on the best of terms, you’ve still never given me a reason not to choose you. How you’ve always treated me and listened and given us a chance to explain, that matters…And the fact you let me try to know you again…that means everything.”

The Commander took a shaky breath as she leaned into his touch. “You make everything a little easier. You always have.”

He smiled at her as he rested his forehead against hers. “Does that mean you’ll let me do that now?”

Shepard nodded as she slowly uncurled her body, moving her arms to rest around his neck. “You already have, Kaidan.”

The Major’s heart swelled at her words. Things were never going to be easy between them especially with the war, but it was the small moments that would help see them through. And knowing he could help not only the Commander and first human Specter but also the woman behind all the ranks and titles—that he could help Becca meant everything to him. Because if they forgot the human part of the equation, then what were they fighting for?

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] Domestic Ship Meme: Lucifer/MC

[Domestic Ship Meme]

Notes: GN! ‘you’, fluff!!!! Lucifer really b living in my head rent free

--

who reaches out to new neighbors

Between the two of you, it’s gonna have to be you. Unless Lucifer somehow has something to gain from being friendly with the neighbors, he’s not that motivated to make an impression. And if you aren’t really up for it, he doesn’t mind either. The two of you can be content with just an occasional wave and small talk with the neighbor when you chance upon meeting them. If you’re really eager to reach out to the neighbors… cool. He’ll come with and greet them if you want him to. 

who remembers to buy healthy food

Lucifer cares a lot about the fact you get your proper nutrients, especially when you don’t. 

“MC, you can’t persist on cup noodles every night when I come home late.” Insists on buying vegetables so you can at least put them in your ramen to get vitamins to live if you don’t want to cook. He makes it a habit to have a balanced meal every time. 

If you’re as health conscious as he is, you make sure to pack lunch for the both of you before you go about your day. :)

who remembers to buy junk food

YOU DO, BABY! 

Every time you go shopping for groceries with him, you both pick out produce and everything you need for meal preps, but you always backtrack to grab bags of chips or candy that catches your attention. He watches you with mild exasperation as you scrutinize whether to grab the salsa or the guacamole for the chips and end up just getting both. 

He grumbles a little less if you slip in a bag of his favorite snack though. (A bag of licorice mayhaps?) 

who fixes the oven when it breaks

Both of you are capable of learning how to fix the oven when it breaks. It probably does end up being a joint effort regardless. As to whoever BROKE the oven, it’s probably Lucifer. Baking is his weakness; he doesn’t understand why. 

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s)

You water the plants and Lucifer feeds the pet(s). You will always have Cerberus-- always. Whether you have more is really up to your and his discretion, but he’s pretty on top of making sure Cerberus has his food every morning before he leaves. He could water the plants too, if you wanted him to, but he thinks it’s cute to come home to you watering the hydrangeas at the front door or the succulents at the windowsill. It gives you a very nurturing vibe, even if you don’t mean to, and it makes him feel a little soft every time. 

who wakes up earlier

Lucifer does. This really depends on what job/occupation you currently have, but for the most part, he wakes up at the crack of dawn naturally anyways. Doesn’t matter when he sleeps, his internal clock is set for ‘when the sun rises’ (which is funny, considering how the Devildom doesn’t have a sun). 

You think it’s horrible until you realize he can choose to sleep in when he wants to, but Lucifer honestly doesn’t mind. He likes waking up early so he can press kisses onto your forehead, careful not to wake you up but laughing under his breath if you stir and mumble in your sleep. He’s absolutely besotted with you, and it really shows in the way he holds you in the moments before he starts the day. 

who makes the bed

You do, mostly because you wake up later than he does… and because he doesn’t like it when the bed isn’t made. 

“Why make the bed when we’re going to end up sleeping in it anyways?”

“Yes, why wash Cerberus if he’s going to get dirty again.”

“3:” 

Just make the bed. He’s ridiculously pleased when he comes back home to a neat bed, especially if you were not in the habit to do so before. If you weren’t really happy to do it before, he says “please~?” in a way you swear you fucking see sparkles in the background and you give up. (you are weak for the man)

who makes the coffee

(flashback to Hell’s Coffee chat)

Lucifer lives off of coffee, so more often than not, he ends up making the coffee. He also tends to wake up a LOT earlier than you, so the duty usually falls to him anyhow. If you drink coffee, always makes a cup for you before he leaves with the right amount of sugar and cream. 

On the day you’re both off, you tend to both sleep in, and therein the coffee making responsibility goes to you, because Lucifer certainly isn’t going to get out of bed any time soon. You tried making coffee for him on a work day, which basically meant you tried to wake up EARLIER than him. Not the best idea you had, but when he found you asleep on the dining table with the coffee made hot, best believe he pressed a kiss onto your forehead and said ‘thank you’ before sending you back to bed. 

who burns breakfast

Assuming both of you are decent at cooking, you’re more likely to burn the breakfast mainly because Lucifer doesn’t eat breakfast to begin with. 

“What happened to three balanced meals a day?”

“I never said ‘three,’ I just said they had to be balanced.” 

“>:(“ 

It’s his fault though. Every time you make breakfast, he distracts you by coming into the kitchen and wrapping his arms around you and pressing a kiss on the back of your neck. Or, if it’s on a weekend, he tugs you back into bed and you forget about the bacon on the stove until it’s basically charcoal. 

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house

Lucifer tries not to wake you up before you need to, so he’s usually silent when leaving the house. When you do stir awake and sleepily ask him if he’s heading off to work, he never fails to press a kiss to your cheek and say, “I’ll see you soon.” He’s always the most tender with you in the early light of the day, willing to indulge you a little if you tug him back into bed for a snuggle or press kisses onto your lips until you’re satiated. 

If the both of you are awake, he’ll say something along the lines of “I’m heading out to do something. I’ll be back in an hour,” and if you’re not busy, kisses you and leaves. 

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home

“I’m home,” Lucifer says quietly, just in case you’re already asleep-- but you never are. He finds the kitchen light on with you sitting at the dining table with a book in hand, and you smile up at him when he walks through the door and places down his keys. 

“Welcome back,” you tell him, like every night. You tug off his jacket and press a kiss onto his lips as he tiredly gives you a smile. 

--

Rarely, you come home later than he does, but it happens. 

“Did you eat dinner yet?” Lucifer asks, once you set down the keys and shrug off your coat. “Or would you prefer a bath first?” 

“Did you learn that phrase from Levi?” You tease, watching him roll his eyes good naturedly as he stands from his chair and makes his way to you. “I don’t know,” you respond, as he snakes his hands around your waist. “Maybe a bath if you want to join me.”

His hands dip further down. “If you insist,” he says, dropping his head until he trails his lips along your neck. 

The both of you pause at the sound of your stomach growling. 

You look sheepishly at him as he gives you an amused quip of his lips. “Maybe…” You suggest hopefully, “Dinner in the bath?” 

Lucifer throws his head back and laughs.

who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often

With Lucifer, romance is never dead. If something catches his eye on the way back from work, he has no problems taking a quick stop and buying a bouquet from the florist so you can decorate the house with it or add another succulent to your collection. His gifts always mean he thought of you-- would you like this necklace? Didn’t you say you needed another pen the other day? How much chocolate is too much for a gift? (it’s never too much luci)

However, you refuse to be beat. You throw him a reverse uno card and buy him small gifts or trinkets that catch your eye and think he’d enjoy it. There’s not a lot he actually wants, so your gifts are more fun, something to make him laugh throughout the day or remind him of you. He brings a lot of the trinkets to work with him and look at them

who picks the movie for movie night

Both of you switch off on choosing a movie. He’s not that picky with movies. If it’s horror movies you want to watch, he’ll be there for you to hide behind. If it’s a rom-com you want to watch, expect a few chuckles from him. 

their favorite kind of movie to watch

Lucifer likes watching the classics and prefers new movies that are thought-provoking. Thrillers or psychological movies like Black Mirror or Annihilation are very fascinating to him. He’s impartial to most genres, though, unless it’s completely and utterly inane. He prefers movies with some thought or some emotion-evoking aspect to it-- SUBSTANCE. 

who first suggests a pillow fort + who builds the pillow fort

You suggest it and drag Lucifer into building the pillow fort with you. He thinks he enables you too much; you agree with him.

“Who did you get this idea from? Mammon?”

“No, of course not! I got it from my six-year old niece.”

“...”

Still, you end up in the pillow fort, covering it with a blanket and end up eating snacks and napping together in it. 

You don’t see him complaining about it afterwards. 

who tries to distract the other during the move

Lucifer allllll the way. The man loves to tease you whenever he has the chance, so if he’s in the mood, would definitely try to distract you by placing his hand on your thigh and just subtly tracing his hands over them. Acts innocent when you scold him, but continues to do lingering touches on your thighs, waist, neck until you either give in and be completely distracted by him. He knows when to stop though, like if you’re actually very interested in the movie or aren’t in the mood.  

who falls asleep first

Lucifer does if the both of you go to bed at the same time. Tired during the day, he knocks out pretty much immediately if he lets himself relax in your arms and in your presence. Which is fine by you. If Lucifer had a ritual to take a moment to cherish you in the early hours of the day, you take the time in the moments before you sleep to kiss his brow and sweep his hair from his eyes, whispering ‘I love you’s’ against his temple in the quiet hours of the night. 

who is big spoon/little spoon

Lucifer likes being a big spoon, of course, but you ALSO like being HIS big spoon, so it’s a trade-off. You enjoy being in his arms and being the little spoon: you feel protected, his arms around you, his head either on top of your or his nose buried in your hair. Being a big spoon lets YOU do that to him! 

Usually, you sleep on his shoulder, or you sleep facing each other. You really let the night decide whether you end up big or small spoon, but you tend to end up small spoon naturally. Sometimes, when you wake up in the middle of night, you turn to make him big spoon, and he gets a little embarrassed when he wakes up like this (but again, no complaints here! <3).

[evelyn-foresis]

Glendel in the fountain, wearing her fairy bath robe.

Tale 21: More Then Happily Ever After (chapter 3 - Satisfaction Guaranteed 3/4 ) part 6. Stories of Wizards

parental horror

A month and a half later, the house was ready and the anticipation of the adoption, blurred into the back of their minds. Cerberus and Orpheus had more important things to do together: Work, clean, cook, slow dance in the kitchen, watch movies, and spend time with their parents. Orpheus like when his father visited in particular; They had recently reunited, after being separated from years. But one mourning, they got the call; Which wasn’t what they were expecting.

“Hello, Master Monafyra and Hafokfleogan. We have a potential match for you; But before we tell them, and have an interview, we need to know if your ok handling flight risks, older children, and siblings.” The social worker inquired.

“Thanks for the call.” Cerberus said, looking into Orpheus’s eyes in surprise. Orpheus shrugged yes. But, Orpheus began to panic; He was having second thoughts. The gravity of the situation, suddenly set in. This is what he wanted, and was prepared for, but it still made him nervous.

“Sure! We would love to meet them.” Cerberus said. He was wincing, which was fortunately not audible. They had hoped to start with one; Cerberus could compromise for one kid. But worrying about two of them, was intimidating to both of them. No matter how hard Orpheus focused on gratitude, it was tainted by the overwhelming fear of failing those kids. Orpheus could now empathize with Cerberus’s perspective.

Two days later, Cerberus and Orpheus sat in a meeting room, holding hands nervously; They had traveled all the way to The Capitol for the meeting. The room was painted happy colours, which matched the leather seating and block toys; Which really didn’t need to be bolted down. The carpet was dirty, even though it was cleaned regularly. Indicated by the mild scent of bleach. Finally, the social worker walked in with a thirteen-year-old boy, who looked like he was inclined to bite people in fights, and an adorable nine-year-old girl who seemed oblivious to the situation. She pointed out the window at the birds, instead of noticing Orpheus or Cerberus. The siblings looked of the Grand West, and wore clothing that was obviously donated. The Social worker nudged the lucky kids forward.

“Those happily married men, live in a magic forest community with everything you two need.” She encouraged. The children looked at Orpheus and Cerberus, who ceased breathing. They feared the judgments of youth.

“Go on, say hello! Depending on how the next two hours, you two can finally be out of foster care!” The social worker persisted. Cerberus and Orpheus clenched their hands tighter, trying not to show weakness. The girl ran up first.

“Hi, I’m Guinevere Blackstorm. why are you holding your hands so tightly?” She said, trying to free their grip.

“Because we love each other very much.” Orpheus said in a raising voice. He felt like he was guessing.

“Two dads? Like a gay couple? I’m going to get ridiculed; Like, which one do I call dad, or do I use your first names?” the boy scoffed. Cerberus gave a piercing purple glare. He hoped first impressions weren’t everything.

“Whichever makes you comfortable.” He replied.

“Percival Swanglint is my brother; He’s not around much, because he like games and his friends. He wants to be a wizard. I prefer going outside or reading. Is the magic forest pretty, and have books?” Guinevere said. She was examining Orpheus wheelchair, which made his laugh for some reason.

“Oh yes.” Orpheus said. “I’m Orpheus, and I’m a music teacher. I like sports and playing the piano.” He smiled. The two were getting along smashingly. Percival however, was brooding out the window.

“We have to ‘get along’ for the next two hours. I’ve been to countless interviews. I hate them.” he said.

“Well, maybe this time will be different. Why don’t you come here, and tell us about yourself?” Cerberus insisted. An essence of calm washed over him, as his bedside manor emerged from the depths. Percival walked over, and sat right next to Cerberus like he owned the entire building. He was almost to close for comfort. The boy knew no fear. Cerberus did know fear. He knew it a little too well. Yet he stayed firm, and open.

“I’m the heartman teacher, and nurse, at our magic school. If you want to be a wizard, we can enroll you. Hopefully you’ll make more friends. Also, it’s not just us; We live with my parents, and a naiad. She can be like your big sister. Glen is very socialized.” Cerberus said. He was trying his best to be personable. He talked to troubled teenagers all day, but Percival was particularly gritting.

“What are you scared of?” Percival laughed, intruding Cerberus’s personal space. “I’ve met ones like you before.”

“Well, I was scared to worry about you all the time, but now I see your too competent and smart to plague my every waking hour.” Cerberus retorted. Orpheus elbowed him. Percival was intrigued; Cerberus might be able to actually treat him like a person.

“Thanks” Percival growled. “Now tell me where you’re from; Neither of you look like you were born here.”

          ��By the end of the day, Orpheus and Cerberus were adoptive fathers. Cerberus begrudgingly taking a liking to Percival, and Orpheus holding Guinevere on his lap. Both children slept the ride home. The journey went smoothly, and Melida and Braidy set them up in the same room for the first night. It used to belong to Cerberus’s brother Ursus; Thus, it was polar bear and Nordic themed. Cerberus, now having an ounce of confidence as a father, slept well that night. Maybe older children, who had a slight of independence, were not so bad. Orpheus however, lay awake in a cold sweat. He was experiencing the terror of bringing a child home for the first time, with no clue what to do.  Orpheus was now listening for their breathing, though they were across the house.

           In the mourning, Cerberus set up school; Percival was enrolled in his first year at Pepperidge Magic Academy, and Guinevere registered in the regular school. The town was so small, the mundane school only had twelve students across all grades. Meanwhile, Percival slept in, and Braidy tortured Orpheus with physio. The moment brought up his disabilities, and reinforced his parental insecurities. Even though he was overjoyed to see Guinevere in the mourning, he was reminded about how he might struggle to play with her, or carry her to bed. Melida was adjacent, helping Guinevere get dressed and fed, to tour the magic forest.

“So, you’re like my grandma? You look really young and strong for an old lady.” Guinevere said. Melida laughed.

“A change in colours, can cause people to age slower. Regardless, I can be like a grandma if you want; I am taking you to the park, and buying you new clothes after all. Any preferences? I raised two boys.” Melida said. Guinevere shock her head. She hadn’t picked her own clothes in a while. Guinevere dealt with things by not overthinking; She hated hard questions. Percival’s wardrobe, if he wanted one, would be Ursus or Cerberus’s hand me downs. Melida left the box by his bed. When Percival did wake up, he emerged wearing Cerberus’s black, wolf themed, middle school wardrobe. He hugged his sister, helped himself to brunch in the kitchen, and B-lined to the atrium to eat his toast in peace. No house tour, no ‘good mourning’; Just throwing a minor tantrum.

“Wait Percival! Glen is-” Orpheus said, just as Percival closed the sliding glass door. He has a look of satisfaction.

           Percival, while imagining being mocked for having two adorable dads, failed to notice he wasn’t alone. His jam and toast attracted the attention of the fountain’s occupant. Glendel peered over the edge of the pool. Percival put his empty plate to the edge, and looked around. The conservatory had nice plants, and a soothing, sizable, water feature. Like almost big enough to be an onsen. Then he read the waring sign, completely missing Glen’s face peering out of the water.

“Do not touch the water…” he said under his breath. Of course, he was going to touch the water now. Glen slipped back in, as Percival approached. He looked into the water, and noticed it glistened slightly; Like it was made of crystal. It looked ethereal. Being in a magic forest, Percival decided against touching seemingly enchanted water, and went to go back inside to ask about it. As his back was turned, Glendel grabbed his back belt loop, almost dragging him into the pool. He gave out a scream that rang though Cerberus’s body. They knew exactly what happened.

“You didn’t bring any for me!? It’s been all mourning and I’m hungry.” Glen snapped. Percival turned slowly, to look into the pool, only to see the light haired emerald eyed naked naiad staring at him. Any questions he had about the fountain, were instantly answered.

“Of course, these weirdos have a fairy! Wait. I’ve never met a fairy before…” Percival murmured. Glendel slowly became memorized by him, and smiled.

“Hi, my name is Glendel. You get my fey name because any kid of Orpheus and Cerberus, is a sibling of mine,” Glen said. “I’m a fountain nymph, and make the waters of youth and healing; Don’t touch the water without asking. Also, next time bring me dairy or baked goods.” She teased. This gave Percival an idea.

“Hey, Glen; Can you show me around town today? like a big sister? I’m not ready to settle in with coir dad and nurse dad yet.” He said.

“YES!” Glendel chimed. She wanted some excitement, and to ride a bike. “I’ll even take you for ice cream. But you have to tell an adult first, or we won’t have any money; I’m too lazy to transmute some today.”

“You are by far, the coolest person I’ve ever met. I mean nymph. Actually, you’re the only nymph I’ve met, which makes me love magic even more.” Percival gleamed. Living in Pepperidge, was slowly growing on him.

Percival did not tell anyone where he was going. In fact, he made it look like he was staying home to settle in, after reassuring his dads he was now friends with Glen. She could babysit, while everyone else roamed the village with his little sister. Unlike common folk and wizards, mages like Orpheus and Cerberus are comfortable trusting a fairy with a child. Guinevere however, was disappointed her brother wasn’t coming. She clung to Orpheus. She required quite the pep talk, and a bit of a cry before they left. Percival hated making her cry, but he also had his own plans. Unlike Orpheus and Cerberus, self sacrifice for love was above his maturity level.

           Cerberus and Orpheus took Guinevere to the playground, and showed her around the village. Guinevere loved the whispering of the trees, and seeing the gnomes do spring landscaping. Melida and Braidy came back an hour later, with food and some new clothes. Orpheus, trapped in his humiliation chariot, let Melida have a turn playing with Guinevere; Resulting in grass stains on her new dress. It comforted Orpheus, to have an extended family that he could lean on. Yet, he still wished he could be the one playing tag. Cerberus, still on the swings, was surprised he was having a good time; Before he noticed Orpheus’s expression. It was like they had switched places. There no conflicting desires however. Their love and happily ever after had come to an agreement, that a family was both complicated, and charming. Cerberus took a seat next to Orpheus, as they had another conversation without saying anything.

Meanwhile, Glendel got Briady and Melida’s bikes from the shed, so her and Percival could ride around town. She showed him the boardwalk, got ice cream, and said hello to each passerby. Glen gave a brief introduction of everyone, but Percival had a hard time paying attention. He was too busy taking in the quant town and it’s fey. The place was whirling with whimsy. It’s buildings and businesses, seemed lost in time.

           Glen and Percival arrived home first, and he lied about taking a nap. Glen started dinner. They had stopped by the store, and got ingredients to make pasta. It is worth mentioning fairies don’t know how to cook, unless a human shows them; Luckily Glen liked watching everyone so much, she picked up the skill. Like magic. Having children around, filling the sizable house, made Glen feel like a child herself. Though she was in her forties, looked collage aged, and was oblivious to the entire concept of time. It just reminded her of the coziness of having someone you trust, available and close, just in case. She remembered wanting that.

           Finally, the rest of the family came home. All of which where happy to see Glen cooking, and started helping her set the table. Orpheus summoned his laptop, which he hardly used, to give to Percival to play games with his friends on. But Percival wasn’t in his new room. Actually, he wasn’t anywhere in the house.

“Glen, you were watching him, right? Do you know where he is?” Orpheus asked.

“He’s not in his room? I thought he was sleeping while I made dinner.”

“Glen, he has a history of running away; You needed to watch him!” Orpheus snapped. Luckily the town was small, and Orpheus calmly grabbed the phone. Not a quiver of anxiety, as he would have expected. Cerberus however, melted onto the couch sobbing. His worst nightmare was coming true; He was overwhelmed with a panic attack, at the thought of a boy being lost in a magic forest, somewhere beyond his control. He was so happy not five minutes earlier. Orpheus, seeing his husband’s distress, edged closer to provide hugs; Followed by Guinevere.

“Don’t worry, he does this all the time; They usually find him and bring him back within three days. I told you he wasn’t around much. He doesn’t like being cared for, because he doesn’t trust people.” Guinevere rambled. This made Cerberus feel even worse. He stopped breathing. Three days is too long in an enchanted valley. Orpheus, though calmer then expected, did give a worried tense wheeze. He hugged in Guinevere, noticing she was also upset. It had only been one day, and he had failed as a parent, in spite of his best efforts. This was supposed to be a pleasantly enriching, and a rewarding addition to his life; Not an entire quest. They expected some difficulties, but not so soon. This is known as unrealistic expectations. Orpheus began dialing the phone, to call neighbors to ask if they saw Percival.

“Hold on. I’ll put some dinner aside for Percival,” Melida said. “I’m the lead paladin of this country; I’ve solved a lot of missing persons. This town in small and isolated when Mr. Topper doesn’t work transit. That boy is not going far. Now let’s eat dinner, and give him some time to calm down and stop moving. Orpheus, you can call around once you’re collected; Put down the phone.” Melida said sternly. She sat down before the lovingly cooked herb and buttered pasta. Glen got to join if she cooked, and was thrilled. Cerberus helped up Orpheus, and led him to the table. Melida was right; It never hurts to step back, calm down, and realize the world is not imploding. The odds after all, were irreversibly in their favour.

“I know it’s a lot, but I believe in you guys. If it gets dark, Cerberus can use moonlight for magic, and find Percival that way.” Braidy said.

“Night magic is really cool Cerberus. It’s nice to finally be with a family that can handle my brother,” Guinevere said. “Orpheus, can you play the piano for me after dinner?” She continued, struggling to get the spindly noodles in her mouth. Guinevere was completely unphased by what was going on; Her resilience was mildly disturbing.

<---PREVIOUS

[therainbowwillow]

here is part 4: https://therainbowwillow.tumblr.com/post/640369768122253312/therainbowwillow

Part 5/??? of my Hadestown AU!

Here’s the premise/ last time on this AU:

Hades’s coping method of murdering people is somehow making him feel worse. Now that he has Orpheus locked up he has to confront his emotions. (Shudders) Thanatos, god of the dead quietly refuses to kill Orpheus, leaving him balancing a thin line between life and death. Orpheus ends up in a dark prison, where his only interactions are with Hades. He’s alone and afraid and he’s lost track of how long he’s been locked away. His memory is hazy. He’s lost hope for any chance of rescue. Eurydice is increasingly worried about Orpheus. He’s breathing, half-alive, but she doesn’t think he’ll be able to hold on for long. Persephone is tired of her husband. Achilles and Patroclus are debating whether or not they should cross the Styx and live in the overworld again, given that they have no home and no living family or friends outside. Hermes, Dionysus and Apollo have finally reached the edge of the Styx.

———————————————

The train squeals to a halt. Thanatos pulls the doors open. Dionysus and Apollo step out first. “Best of luck,” the god of death mutters to Hermes. He nods.

The Styx stretches out before them, its dark waters flow in torrents. Beyond it, Hades’s wall rises high. “This is the underworld, huh?” Apollo shifts his footing. “It’s hotter than I expected. And... darker.”

Dionysus kneels at the bank of the Styx. “Just like I remembered,” he says with a smile. “Cerberus!” He calls.

Apollo just about collapses in fright as the dog trots to Dionysus’s side. “Hey buddy!” Dionysus has to stand on his tippy-toes to scratch behind one of Cerberus’s six ears. “How’s mama? I hope father is treating you well.”

Cerberus notices Dionysus’s companions and growls, loud and deep. “Oh hush. They’re with me. You know Hermes.” Hermes nods, keeping adequate distance between himself and the massive canine. “And that’s Apollo. He’s new.”

Apollo is silent for once.

“If mama’s doing okay, I’ll be back later!” He lowers his voice. “Cerb, I know things have been rough. And I know Hades has been... well... if you see him, give him some love for me. Now. Can we cross?” Cerberus steps back. Dionysus smiles. “Thanks buddy.”

He beckons to Hermes and Apollo. He turns back to the Styx and grape vines spring from the ground, weaving their way across the river as if to form a bridge. Hermes grabs Apollo’s wrist. “Come on. Can’t stand around gawking all day.”

——————————————

The farther they’d come from heart of Hadestown, the clearer the air had become. Orpheus breaths no easier, Eurydice notes. They’d walked four days since he’d passed out and his condition hadn’t improved.

Eurydice sits against a rock. She hums the notes of Orpheus’s song to herself. It’s easier to remember her goal with his song, she’s found. His lyre sits in her lap. She wishes she knew how to play.

“How far’s the Styx?” She asks Persephone.

“A three days’ walk. We’re close.”

“Will he wake when we’re out of here?” Eurydice already knows the answer.

“I don’t know. Get some sleep. The closer we get to the outside world, the more you’ll need to act like a mortal. You aren’t as much a shade as you were in the mines.”

Eurydice nods and closes her eyes.

Achilles and Patroclus take the first watch while their companions sleep.

“How’s your shoulder?” Achilles asks.

Patroclus shrugs. “Better, I suppose.”

“We’ll reach the Styx soon,” Achilles says. “Will you cross?”

“You weren’t planning to?” Patroclus asks, surprised.

“What’s out there for us? The war is over, everyone we knew is long dead. We’re dirt-poor. Where would we go?”

“Persephone would provide for us. Achilles, if we stay here... We can’t fight the Lethe forever. Hades would separate us and our memories would fade until we’d be forced to join the ranks of the shades as two more broken-spirited nobodies!”

Achilles sighs. “We’d have to work every second of our lives if we left.”

“We could work together, at least.”

He nods. “I guess aything is better than this.”

“And this is almost over.” Patroclus smiles. “We’ll get to see the sun and the stars again. I miss stargazing with you. Watching the sunrise. I miss... I miss living, Achilles.”

“I miss it as well. I never got a chance to say goodbye to life. After I lost you, I didn’t think about living anymore. I just wanted to see you again. Sometimes I wish... after all this time down here... that I’d really appreciated what I had before I lost it. It would be easier to remember.”

“I feel the same about Elysium,” Patroclus says. “Hades took everything from us. We had a future ahead of us, an eternity in paridise.”

“We’re always fighting to keep what we can’t have. You died for me. We thought it was over. Then Hades took Elysium and we fought all over again to keep our paradise. And when we lost, we fought to keep our memories. You think it’ll be different this time?” Achilles asks.

“All we can do is hope.”

Achilles nods. They look up at the empty sky, hand in hand.

———————————————

Orpheus coughs. Four days? Five days? A month? He doesn’t remember how long he’s been here. There are shouts from the neighboring cell. At least it’s something to listen to.

“You know why you’re here?” A woman’s voice trills.

“No!” A man shouts. “I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“They say you have a connection to the Olympians.”

“That isn’t true!” He shouts.

“They want the boy back. The poet boy. You’re a spy,” she accuses.

“No, no I’m not! You don’t underst-“

There’s a sharp crack. Orpheus winces.

“Ugh...”

Orpheus hears the man slide down his cell’s wall.

“I’m no spy,” he pleads. His voice sounds as if he’s holding his nose.

“Liar. You were once a lover of Apollo. You’re aiding him.”

The man’s breaths are heavy. “I can’t remember anything.”

“You heard the song.”

“How long ago was that?” He groans. “I can’t remember a thing. If wanted to help, I couldn’t. And why would I? Whoever I loved, he let me die.”

“Get up, pathetic boy.”

Orpheus hears his shuffling against the stones.

“I’ll take double shifts at the mines. Let me out of here, please,” the man begs.

“We’ll talk when you’re ready to tell me the truth.” The door clangs shut. The woman’s footsteps fade down the hall. Orpheus hears a whimper of pain.

“Hey,” he mumbles, desperate to speak to someone, “I won’t lie, it doesn’t get easier.”

“Do I know you?” The man asks through the wall.

“I couldn’t say. I... I don’t remember much,” Orpheus admits. He’d tried his best to repeat names and events to himself, but eventually he’d fallen asleep and forgotten what he was meant to be repeating.

“You sound familiar.”

“If you remember my name... I’d like to know,” Orpheus whispers.

“I’ll tell you.”

Orpheus’s cell door opens, bathing him in dull neon lights. He doesn’t react.

“Orpheus.” His name, he realizes.

“Hades,” he rasps.

Hades sits beside him.

“This is my eternity.” Orpheus’s voice is empty, devoid of emotion. He doesn’t open his eyes.

Hades looks at the boy. He hates the way Orpheus controls him. He hates that song that can wake his soul. But he wants to hear it again. “Look at me.”

Orpheus looks. Hades sits before him, twice. He’s seeing double, he notices.

“Sing your pretty little song,” Hades demands.

“I...” Orpheus sighs. “I don’t remember it.”

“You remembered last time. Sing.”

Orpheus turns away. “No,” he whimpers. “If I do...” A little sob escapes his lips. “I’ll just forget again. And again. And again!” He yells. “I don’t want to remember, only to forget all over again.” He lifts his head. “Give me oblivion. Throw me to the mines. Anything but this.”

“I said,” Hades growls, “sing.”

A wave of nausea hits him. He presses his head against the ground. “La... la la...” he coughs. His chest heaves with effort.

“Sing, boy!”

“La... la...” Orpheus chokes on the underworld air. He coughs and coughs until he’s too weak to cough anymore. Hades face spins before him. Tears sting his eyes. “I... I can’t.”

Hades stands. He watches Orpheus, shaking with sobs. He takes a step back. “No...” Orpheus whispers. “Please don’t leave me here.”

Hades’s shoulders sink. He kneels at the poet’s side. He takes a flask of Dionysus’s alcohol from his pocket and unscrews the cap. He lifts Orpheus effortlessly and holds the bottle against the boy’s lips. “Drink.” He tilts the flask and Orpheus swallows. He pushes Orpheus’s matted hair out of his eyes.

“T-thank you.” Orpheus whispers.

Hades wraps his coat around Orpheus’s shaking body. “You... You’re alright. Breathe, kid.”

“I... I don’t wanna be alone.”

“Just relax.” Hades holds Orpheus awkwardly. “Listen. I... I’m not coming back here. Just go, kid.”

Hades twists a key into the locks binding Orpheus’s wrists. The chains fall away. He slumps into Hades arms. The king of the dead lets Orpheus stay there for a moment. Then he lays he boy on the ground again, still bundled in his coat. He leaves the door open behind him.

PS. Thank you dearly to my loyal fandom, @thewittyphantom and @lady-of-the-upside-down

[critical-ramblings]

Things that Mean More on a second watch-through of C2

Episode 8-10

"He burned alive in front of me" "Yeah you did that though" this is why I love Beau

Caleb identifying all the things and then not telling them what it is makes a first appearance! It's so clear here how little he trusts them, even as he jokes with Beau 'you look like a nerd' and Fjord 'yeah those manacles just stop you from being gassy"

Fjord snaps Beau's goggles almost immediately upon her acquiring them. so what I'm saying is that they've always had that sibling energy

Caleb purposefully manipulates Jester by giving her the wand--to distract her from the glove of blasting...too bad Beau is on the case.

Beau says she's getting her own room, and Jester says they've always been roommates...this is also the night Beau tucks her in, so....THIS IS IN EPISODE 8 PEOPLE

Jester extorting the starosta for Fjord's letter is still Incredible, as is the first appearance of "Fjord Tough." I still lost it with the rest of the table.

Caleb didn't have to roll a wisdom save after he incinerated the bandit leader because he was immediately knocked unconscious, but Liam makes up for it with the nightmare he has afterward (take them out, take them out!) LOVE ME SOME ANGSTY WIZARD

I already made a post about this, but I feel compelled to remind everyone that the shady guide they meet when they first get to Zadash is the abandoned business partner of Lawrence, Tary's husband. 

First appearance of Pumat Sol! I love how much the cast love's Matt's voices

"Unpleasant one, let's go" "obnoxious one, I'm with ya" Molly and Beau are so good you guys

"There are those who believe [tieflings] are the result of the Curse of Ghor Dranas" cool world-building Matt!

"The Apple Tree Learning Center" is a soltryce-run 'public school' for children and adults...who wants to bet it was a similar school that discovered the blumentrio? Or at least encouraged them to apply

the first time Caleb transcribed a spell (unseen servant) he IMMEDIATELY invited Nott to help him. And Nott, though dismayed that it was going to take 2 hours, was willing to help out.

"What are you doing with my cat?" Molly won't be able to see through Frumpkin's eyes, but he's got the spirit

"When you compliment people it sounds like a fucking insult," Fjord and Beau are GREAT

Maye one reason we have a dim view of the Empire is because our first plot line in Zadash involved corrupt politicians...not to mention Caleb's whole Thing

First mention of the Cerberus Assembly: general complaints that they're grabbing for power and influence in Zadash and beyond.

Nott being afraid of the bath :( "a person could drown in that"

I legitimately forgot how much they treated Nott like a kid...from the swimming lesson, 'you'll get a sticker'

Caleb is SUPER paranoid, asking everyone how they feel about the Empire and sounding out these new party members. Funnily enough, it's Molly who is most on his wavelength as far as keeping a low profile goes

Yasha really didn't want to confess which god she followed to the rest of the Nein, but when pressed said, "he pulled me out of what felt like literally the depths of hell. I owe him my life." this is without even remembering Obann or what he did.

The contrast between early Beau/Yasha 'do I get a good view" 'roll for perv' and later Softness is...a lot

Caleb and Yasha bond over not doing the hugging thing

Nott LEANS AWAY after asking how dangerous the sewer job is going to be. She is Not On Board for risking her life the way the others are--not even for 700 gold.

'you kicked his cat into oblivion!' "I didn't!" Matt doesn't often distance himself from his NPCs, but when he does it's for animal cruelty and bad parenting.

Jester talking about her visit with the Traveler in the Pillow Trove is...Relevant. It's kind of crazy how early the line was drawn between Fjord and Beau not trusting him and Caleb being quick to prop up Jester's faith, "there are stories that tell of gods dabbling with mortals, not often but it does happen." whereas Beau says, "I'm interested in a god who kicks it with mortals. Never heard of that."

Caleb not wanting to get a new jacket because he knows this one is big autism feels (even if it is also his paranoia talking)

"she does see hamster unicorns. they're gods, right?" "No Beau they're just--they're just unicorns" I love them

"I've never been in a sewer" Molly says, excitedly, and also making me Feel Things

the evolution of Yasha's voice is really cute. we stan 1 Ashley Johnson

I think I was still listening to the podcast at this point so I totally missed all of the It jokes Liam did in the sewer job

Nott sees everyone getting ready to fight and takes a drink. It is interesting to keep track of her drinking, knowing everything we know now.

rat punching, the pasttime of lvl 3 adventurers.

Yasha, to Caleb: "are you very scared right now"

Caleb: "no because I am with all of you"

Nott: "I'm very scared right now"

Caleb advocating for looting the guards the spider killed is #vultureculture

It gets overlooked in later episodes, but 10 was when Nott's button collecting really took off.

They meet the Zadash Lawmaster Orentha and Nott immediately says, "she seems nice. I wonder why all those people wanted to rebel against her." if that doesn't sum up the themes of this campaign idk what does

Nott says, "and now we never have to do another adventure again" she's come so far

Caleb is VERY transactional after this fight, handing out loot for favors and goodwill with individual party members rather than splitting the loot.

This leads directly to Molly pinning him to the wall, which in retrospect was definitely a play for authority and dominance and not anything shippy.

Caleb straight up says to Fjord, "I don't trust you yet. I don't trust any of these people yet."

That whole conversation is actually Very Good: 

Fjord: "That's too bad"

Caleb: "yeah I have...I have made mistakes in my life. And, I'm, I have harmed people. Not in a long time. *clears throat* you know I thought I was going to be something, someday, a long time ago, and now I. Don't."

"We've all harmed people, and I hope you come to trust me in time" this is why I ship widofjord (emphasis mine)

 Nott going through Fjord's stuff is also this episode! Such shady motherfuckers

"If the money's right and it's not stupid" is a good philosophy for this group

"Your cat got kicked into another dimension?!" "Oh he had such a face, I will never forget this face"

They have fireflies in Kamordah and not Nicodranas. Canon.

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

animaniacs - s3e6: hercules unwound

yeah it’s season three now. sorry. season 1 had sixty five episodes in it and season 2 had..... four. i don’t understand it either. but none of those episodes had mice, so i guess we’re here now!! (if i’m wrong, and they did have mice, feel free to get back to me, but i definitely didn’t see any mice on the wikipedia page.)

episode summary: inexplicably existing in ancient greece, the boys plan to steal zeus’ lightning bolt. which is the source of his powers, i guess? i don’t know. this episode makes no sense.

the rundown:

so here’s the thing.

they introduce ancient greece.

they introduce hercules.

they establish he’s a crybaby who has twelve (12) chores to do today, which... seems like an excessive amount of chores, sure, but he’s literally just rolling around on the floor and having a tantrum about it.

zeus gets pissed off and electrocutes him.

and then the warners show up. “i’m lost,” says wakko, “is that our cue?” they have no idea. they’re confused. i’m confused. this short has gone in like eight different directions since it started.

still, they potter down to where hercules is crying, introduce themselves (left; yakkoles, right; wakkonemnon)

(above, the goddess of cuteness, aphrodottie.)

and then dot goes and lays on the floor and decides she doesn’t want to do it.

“you wanna just skip this cartoon?”

“yeah.”

“alright, see ya, pal.”

and off they go, i guess.

that’s.... as accurately as i can summarise it. none of what happens there has anything to do with the mice or the future plot, so i’m just gonna skip past it, if that’s okay.

poor hercules. having to clean out the stables all by his lonesome.

meanwhile, after a sudden jumpcut, we see aristotle desperately trying to teach his class the source of zeus’ powers. it’s the lightning bolt, you goofs! the lightning bolt equals unlimited power!

none of them care.

good thing someone does! so we can get the review started already, christ. this is how they’re arranged at first, but it’s only for a couple of frames, so i’m highlighting it because it’s very funny! and also very easy to miss.

“we, pinkus, shall steal zeus’ lightning bolt, overthrow the kingdom, and

TAKE OVER THE WORLD.” good thing they managed to squeeze another closeup in there, huh. just can’t have an episode without them.

“but how do we get to the tippy-top of mount olympus, where zeus lives?”

“i have that figured out, pinkus. behold, across the street, the agean stables, where legendary, famed and godlike horse pegasus spends the day.”

calm down, brain. jesus. i thought pinky was the one with the Horse Thing. brain goes onto explain that every night, pegasus flies back to mount olympus,

okay.

and they’re just gonna hitch a ride. climb on his back without him noticing. steal the minivan, except the minivan is a flying horse.

so off they go to do that, i guess!

it immediately cuts to them being chased by cerberus, with a “run, pinky, run!” from brain, which is cute. his name is pinkus, in this interation, but brain calls him pinky for short. did the writers intend that to be cute? probably not. do i find it cute? absolutely.

it’s very peatb-esque. still, they outrun it eventually.

“in future, pinkus, let sleeping guard dogs lie. especially when one has three heads.”

“funny. the middle head seemed so friendly.”

honestly? the animation here is cute. and it kind of sucks that they gave the good animators whatever this episode is. is there something i’m not understanding? it’s just been completely threadbare random throughout. they always seem to give the good episodes to the guys who draw them weird. it’s upsetting.

but the stables are there, so off they go.

so while hercules cleans out the stable and whines about it,

medusa gives pegasus a makeover. she is just dying to braid his tail, for no extra charge. this would probably be a lot funnier if i knew who they were trying to make fun of, here? but it’s all good. (that’s one of the problems i have with this show, sadly. all these celebrities stopped being quite so famous literally before i was born. hoo hoo. i’m sure there are like, 30-40 year olds who appreciate the humour far more than i do.)

the mice have found their target. soon, they will strike.

“there he is, pinkus. in all his wing-ed glory.” he puts the stress on the “ed” and it’s uncomfortable. nobody says words like that, brain! or i guess he does? whatever.

so they climb this conveniently placed shovel, ready to jump right on! because, yknow, it’s right there.

except hercules decides that, yknow, he needs a bigger shovel to... clean out the stables with, and--

look. guys?

i have so much anxiety, okay? real talk for a sec. you see my head? nothing up there makes sense. this is why i run a cartoon mouse blog. one of the ways that manifests is in incredibly nervous coprophobia. i don’t like to talk about it. it makes things difficult for me. this episode makes things difficult for me. i barely made it through the stupid... garden of mindy. you don’t want to see this, i don’t want to see this, i do not want my comfort characters to have to deal with this, and i do not want to put myself through the heart attack of trying to transcribe it like the... bad children’s tv jokes bible. okay? i’m skipping this section because it doesn’t add anything and i’ve had enough.

hercules uses the shovel. the mice get dirty. presumably, between scenes, they go take a bath. let’s just say that happens. whatever. cartoon logic.

but nobody takes a bath without hercules’ sayso, so he decides to beat them to death. this is just the first frame i skipped to. i assume this is what’s happening.

i’m not enjoying this episode.

homeboy decimates a wheelbarrow. it has good faces, i’ll give it that. this episode has good faces. is it wang? why on earth would they give wang this bollocks.

“be gone, manure sprites!”

yeet.

thankfully there’s nothing weird in this barrel. it’s whatever medusa was doing pegasus’ pedicure with. dish washing liquid, i think? whatever that means. i’ll be honest, too many gross things have happened in this episode and i’m not sure i could handle anything e--

ah.

what.

thankfully, pegasus decides this is a good time to get the fuck out of dodge.

the mice agree.

hercules grabs bucket girl and also gets out of dodge.

that was weird and random and not needed.

but like, it’s fine. it’s good. they’re on the horse. the horse is flying directly towards mount olympus. yknow. it worked out.

conclusion:

as zeus mopes about his son’s work ethic, the mice get on with their own, tiny mouse jobs.

“upon that table, pinkus, is zeus’ mighty lightning bolt.”

“gee, i hope he has it charged up.”

with a LIGHTNING CABLE!! hoo hoo. hee. those were definitely not a thing when this came out.

brain doesn’t find it quite so funny, sadly, but he chooses to ignore it in favour of hustling his little mouse ass onto the table.

“all power is ours, pinkus. now to-- take over the world...”

bonk.

this is not the first time this has happened. (or maybe it is? chronologically? who knows.)

but oh no! zeus looks through his big old zeus telescope that he has and works out that the stables are worse than ever, actually, and hercules has no intention of cleaning them.

he’s off having a coffee break with medusa! typical. time to electrocute him.

so zeus reaches for his trusty lightning bolt.

pinky’s so chill about this. he’s just vibin.

yeet.

he just straight up throws the whole thing. does it respawn? y’all. i don’t get it.

“i sense the pivotal moment of failure quickly approaches.”

unfortunately - or perhaps it is forunate, depending on how you look at it - zeus just straight up misses.

the mice rebound.

aaaaand that can’t be good.

sploosh.

of course, whether or not this was zeus’ intention, the upshot is that the stables are nice and clean, finally.

so hopefully we never ever have to go through that again.

on the downside, the mice did drown, so i guess that’s the end of this blog.

brain: 3 ½ pinky: 5 ½ outside influence: 8

“as your reward, you get to marry a goddess.”

“the goddess of love? the goddess of beauty?”

“no!”

“the goddess of cuteness, aphrodottie.”

(so we iris out on child marriage. goodnight, everybody.)

[lynelovespopculture]

The Chilling Adventures of Zelda-Chapter 9 The Newest Spellman

CHAPTER 9-THE NEWEST SPELLMAN

AS ZELDA RECOVERS, THE REST OF THE FAMILY GREET THEIR NEWEST MEMBER. COMING SOON!!!!!!!!!!

 By 8 AM, the storm had become nothing more than a drizzle. Hilda Spellman Cerberus had been up all night. Presently, Hilda was pacing back and forth in the Spellman kitchen.  She stepped up to the window and sighed.

“Come on, Zelds, you should be up by now.”

The cry of a baby distracted Hilda so she went to the kitchen island and peeked into the portable crib that held her newborn niece, who was a mere 6 hours old. “Good morning, my little love. Did you enjoy your sleep? Fancy a bottle?”

The babe cooed and Hilda took that as a yes and went to warm up a bottle, which she left on the table to cool. Hilda sighed, her 1st bottle, she thought, Zelda should be doing this, not me. Damn bloody Blackwood!  Hilda put a smile back on her face as she slung the rag over her shoulder and gathered up the baby in her arms.

“There we are,” Hilda settled at the table and gave the newborn her bottle. “Pretty little girl. This house is too quiet. Your Aunt Hilda usually likes a silence house because it’s never quiet around here. But now, I think it’s too quiet around here. Why? Well, you don’t know this yet but we come from a pretty big family. Let’s see now, your mommy, my sister, lives here as well as your daddy and your cousins, of course, Sabrina and Ambrose. I live in town with your Uncle C, but I’m always here so you’ll never miss me. Your older sister Prudence is at the academy and the twins, your other older sister and your brother, well, I’m sure they’ll be home soon.”

The baby finished feeding so Hilda put down the bottle and carefully put the tiny body against her shoulder. Hilda’s eyes drifted back toward the window. Speaking of coming home soon…

“Good job,” Hilda said to her niece after hearing a burp.  “Now that’s we’re done with your breakfast, shall we go relax in the living room?”

Hilda got up, pausing for a moment to return the baby to her basket before changing rooms. Hilda was just putting down the basket down onto a chair, when she heard a noise from outside. Hilda’s heart jumped high with hope.

“Zelda?”

Hilda’s smile quickly turned into a frown. What she saw in the suddenly busy driveway was not her sister, but everyone else. Ambrose and Prudence were holding hands, walking before Harvey’s red truck. Hilda could see Sabrina in the truck’s passenger seat. After the truck, Hilda recognized her husband’s car. The side door was opening and Faustus seemed ready to jump out of the still moving car. With a whimper, Hilda turned away from the window. “The stuff is about to hit the fan. Your Auntie Hilda could be big trouble.” She said to her infant niece.

 The front door opened and the younger Spellmans filed in.

“Aunt Zelda? Auntie Hilda? I’m home,” Sabrina called out.

“So am I,” Ambrose matched his cousin’s tone, making her laugh.

Hilda decided to leave the baby in the sitting room while she rushed into the kitchen to greet the kids. “Oh, my loves! I’m so glad your home safely.” She said honestly and hugged Sabrina as Ambrose and Harvey looked on and Prudence helped herself to a breakfast roll.

The front door opened again and then slammed shut. “Zelda?! Dearest? Are you here?!" Like a flash, Faustus ran across the parlor and up the stairs, taking 2 at a time.

 Hilda was somehow able to step around Sabrina and get to the bottom of the steps. “Um, she’s not up there.”

Hearing his sister-in-law, Faustus turned and went back downstairs. “Then, where is she?”

 “Um”

 Nevertheless, this answer didn’t please Faustus so he sidestepped Hilda and went into the kitchen. “Zelda?”

 Hilda hung her head back and sighed before she sighed and followed him into the other room. “Faustus, I need to tell you something.”

 “Was it false labor again, babe?” Dr. C asked his wife.

 “No, it wasn’t false labor again!” Hilda said loud enough for all the room to hear and they did, for at that moment, all the room fell silent. Great, thought Hilda.

 “Labor?” Stated Ambrose.

 “Aunt Zelda had the baby already?” Asked Sabrina. “When? During the storm?  Is she upstairs?”

 “That’s what I asked.” Said Faustus. “Your Aunt Hilda says she’s not up there.”

 Suddenly everybody started to talk all at once.

 “ENOUGH! ENOUGH!” Hilda found herself yelling above the crowd to be heard. “YOUR AUNT ZELDA IS NOWHERE IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE SHE’S IN THE CAIN PIT!” Hilda by no means expected to scream out the news like this but it just kind of slipped out.

 Sabrina’s lower lip quivered. “Auntie Zelda’s dead?”

 As Hilda went to comfort her, Faustus shook his head. “I knew it.  I just knew it. 3 births, 3 deaths, I’m a jinx. I knew it!” Faustus slammed his hand against the breakfast island.

 “What? Oh no, love,” Hilda explained while rubbing Sabrina’s arm. “The delivery went very well. Both Zelda and the baby came out of it happy and healthy. No, the trouble really started when,” she sighed “Blackwood showed up.”

“Blackwood was here, last night?” This question came from Prudence, who cocked an eyebrow.

 “Yes.” Hilda nodded.

 “If it’s not 3 bothersome ghosts, it’s him,” Faustus muttered.

 “You see, I was in here, cleaning the baby when the door opened and he came in,” Hilda continued. “He’s the one who created the storm. He’d hoped we would all be trapped here so he could kill us all 1 by 1.”

 “That’s why the weather got so out of control in just under an hour.” Commented Harvey.

 “Yes,” Hilda nodded and went back to her story. “Anyway, last night when I first saw him at the door, I thought he was you, Faustus, then I called Dr. C and found out that Faustus still at the bookstore. I ran to go help Zelda but I was too late.”

 “So that’s what that 2nd call was about last night.” Dr. C nodded. It all made sense to him now.

 Faustus looked sharply at Dr. C. “You never said anything about 2nd phone call from Hilda!”

 Dr. C shrugged. “I had just gotten you back in the store and got you calmed down. Besides, if there was a problem, I thought Hilda would call back.”

 “Good point,” Faustus said before turning to his sister-in-law. “Why didn’t you call back?”  Faustus demanded.

 “Because there’s wasn’t a problem.”

 That’s when Faustus’s jaw dropped. “There’s wasn’t a problem?! My Zelda is dead and you don’t think it’s a problem?!”

 “I only meant that I have everything under control,” Hilda explained, “I buried Zelda in the Cain pit as soon I could, as soon as the thunder and lightning stopped.”

 “What time was that, Auntie?” asked Ambrose.

 “About 2:30.”

“2:30!” Faustus exploded. “It’s almost 9!”

 “So, this is Zelda’s 1st  time in that pit thingy, right? It would take hours to work. Unlike Hilda, whose down there all the time and can pop up in minutes.”  Said Dr. C.

 Faustus shook his head. “No, it works the other way around. It’s going on nearly 7 hours now, something must be wrong.”

 “Look, I’m been expecting Zelda since before you all got home,” Hilda admitted. “Normally, I would be worried about the hours too, but you forget the 2 things that can tire a witch’s body out the most is returning from the dead and giving birth and Zelda has done both in the last 12 hours.”

Once again, the group all started to talk at once again until Sabrina put out a hand. “Hey! Hey, listen! I think I hear something.”

 Everyone did listen and because everything was quiet, they all heard the door opening, 2 light footsteps and the sound of something crashing to the ground. All of the family rushed to the front lobby. There, curled up on its side, was a body, not more than 2 feet away from the still opened front door. The body was filthy, covered head to toe in dirt, muck and dried blood. Although, dirty, lifeless hair covered up most of the face, everyone knew exactly who it was.

 “Aunt Zelda!”

 “Zelds!

 “Dearest!”

 Harvey and Dr. C hung back as Hilda, Faustus, Ambrose, Sabrina and Prudence knelt around the body.

 “Is she alive?”  Prudence asked.  

 Hilda, meanwhile, put 2 fingers on Zelda’s neck and smiled. “Yes, she’s alive. Her pulse is quite normal. I just think she’s exhausted.”

 Zelda gave a low, deep moan of protest as the others turned her over. Hilda moved so she was able to place Zelda’s head in her lap. “Welcome back, sister.”

 It took all of Zelda’s strength just to open her eyes and say only 2 words. “My baby?”

 “Don’t worry, Zelds,” Hilda assured her, “The baby’s fine. She’s probably napping by the fire right now.”

 Faustus looked up. “She? It’s a girl?”

 Hilda nodded, smiling. “Yes, she is,” Hilda turned back to her sister. “Okay, Zelds, time to get you into a tub and then it’s off to bed with you to get some rest.”

 “Let’s use my bathroom,” Suggested Sabrina. “My tub is the biggest so is the room so we won’t be tripping over each other.”

 “Excellent idea, Sabrina.” Hilda smiled.

 Not caring at all about the dirt, Faustus threw his wife’s limp arms around his neck and put his arm under her knees as he lifted her up and carried her upstairs  and into Sabrina’s room.i Prudence followed him, as did Sabrina, after she said a brief goodbye to Harvey, who was late for meeting Roz. Ambrose agreed to watch the baby.

“Wait,” Dr C. grabbed his wife’s arm while she tried to get upstairs. “If there was no one here to protect you, why didn’t Blackwood kill you and the baby?”

 “I’m safer in that kitchen than anywhere else on earth.” Hilda had to chuckle when Dr. C looked utterly confused. Hilda kissed her husband. “I’ll explain later. Meanwhile, can you be a love and fetch a fresh nightgown for Zelda?”

 Even with 4 people bathing her, it took over an hour to get Zelda completely clean. Prudence saw to the lift side of Zelda, Sabrina, the right. Faustus washed his wife’s hair and face where Hilda worked on Zelda’s feet and legs. Sabrina was worried. She had never seen her beloved aunt so weak. Zelda just moaned and groaned and every now and then, Zelda would open her eyes but only for a few seconds at a time. Once the cleaning was finally done, they drained the tub of water, they used big towels to dry her off. After working with the others to put the new nightgown on, Faustus carried his wife to their bedroom and settled Zelda into bed. She was asleep in moments.

“She looks so pale,” Stated Sabrina with a worried frown.

 “She’s be fine after a few hours of rest and quiet.” Assured Hilda.

 “Sleep well, sister Zelda.” Prudence whispered as she patted her stepmother’s hand.

 Sabrina said nothing, but she kissed her aunt’s cheek before following Prudence out of the room. Faustus kissed his wife twice. Once deeply on the forehead, and again, lightly on the lips. When Hilda stepped in the hallway, she found that the girls had gone downstairs but Faustus was in the corner, muttering to himself. Hilda went to him.

 “Hey, you okay?”

 Faustus turned. “I’m so mad at myself. I always told Zelda that I would protect her and our child. But where was I when they needed me the most?  I wasn’t even home!”

 Hilda shook her head. “You can’t blame yourself, love. There was a nasty storm that made it impossible to travel anywhere, remember?”

 “So what?  You got here.” Faustus pointed out.

 “Yes, but I teleported.”

 “I could have teleported too, if I still had my powers! I thought I was doing the right and noble thing asking Lucifer to take my magic but living like a mortal only got the woman I love killed. Damn it, Zelda was talking about getting me my magic back. Why didn’t I listen? Why am I constantly failing?”

 “You’re being way too rough on yourself. Zelda will be fine. What you need now is a distraction. Let’s go met your newest daughter.”

  They went downstairs together. Hilda went straight to the living room and picked up the baby. “Hello again, little one. I have your father here with me." Hilda   looked up and couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “Faustus?! Faustus, what…are you crying?”

 He nodded as the silent tears streamed down his face. “I was afraid it was a girl. As you know, Zelda and I chose not to know the gender before the birth.”

Hilda thought she understood. She rubbed his arm. “Hey, it’s okay. We can’t always control our feelings. If you’re disappointed that she’s a girl today, you’ll get over it.”

 Faustus shook his head and smiled. “That’s just it, Hilda. I thought I would be disappointed but truthfully, I’m not. These are tears of joy. I guess I really am changing.”

 Hilda smiled. “You are. You’re a good man, Faustus Spellman.”

 “Faustus Spellman.” He repeated.  He loved the way that sounded. Meanwhile, the baby cooed in Hilda’s arms. “Can I hold her?” asked Faustus.

 Hilda giggled. “Of course, she’s yours, after all.”

 Faustus smiled down at the child as he gathered his daughter into his arms. “Look at her. You know, when I was younger, and I thought about marrying Zelda, I also used to dream of the children we would have together, both girls and boys. I swear to Hecate, this is exactly who I dreamt of. She’s so aware and alert for a newborn.”

 Hilda nodded. “Yes, I noticed that too. Have you and Zelda settled on a name for her yet?”

 “Hmm? Oh yes, we have, but I rather wait until Zelda wakes up before we tell the family.”

 Hilda understood this. “Sure, we waited months to discover her gender, a few more hours to learn the name won’t kill us.”

 “Kill” Faustus sighed.

 “What’s wrong?”

 “Nothing,” Faustus sighed.  “The birth of my daughter is truly a happy event but I would be lying if I wasn’t worried about Blackwood. I mean, to him, this baby is just another Spellman to slaughter.”

 That is when Hilda smiled. “Maybe not. Last night, I managed to put a silence spell on the babe and put her out of sight before Blackwood came for me. When he asked about the baby, I lied and said it was a stillbirth. Blackwood may be completely bonkers but even he can’t kill what he doesn’t think exists.”

 Faustus kissed his sister-in-law’s cheek.  “Hilda, you’re a genius.”

 “So, I’ve been told.”

 “Father? Sister Hilda? What should we do about lunch?” Prudence entered the room.

Hilda smiled at the girl. “Let me handle that, dear.” Hilda moved past her and into the kitchen.

Faustus gave his daughter a huge smile. “Prudence! Come here and meet your newest sister.”

Prudence did come closer and smiled at her baby sister. “Oh, she’s so beautiful!”

Faustus put an arm around the shoulders of his oldest daughter and smiled at her as the other arm held the baby. “Just like you.”

Embolden by her father’s compliment, Prudence wore a playful smile. “Are you sure the babe is yours, Father? She looks so much like sister Zelda; one may wonder if she performed a cloning spell.”

Faustus laughed out loud. “It did cross my mind once or twice.” Then he stopped laughing. “Oh no. Someone feels wet!”

“I take her to get change.” Prudence offered, reaching for the babe.

“No, no, no, no.” Her father refused. “Thank you for offering but I am a father of 4 now. It’s seriously time I learn how to care for children. Besides, I remember you once told me, rather colorfully, that you are not a wet nurse.” Prudence and Faustus shared 1 last smile before he started upstairs.

 Yes, a newborn baby meant much excitement within the Spellman house.  There was no shortage of hands who wanted to hold her, play with her and cuddle her. She was surrounded by so much love that Faustus thought nothing of leaving his daughter in the kitchen with all her relatives when Ambrose pulled him aside after lunch.

“There something that auntie Hilda said this morning that I can’t get off my mind.” Ambrose explained as the 2 men made their way to the attic.

“What’s that?”

“How she said that she mistook Blackwood for you. That’s mean he must have waltzed in here like he owned the place. I was thinking maybe we could make his arrogance work for us.”

“Interesting.  Tell me more.”

“While it’s true that we had zero luck in finding Blackwood’s current hideout,” as he spoke, Ambrose combed the shelves of his personal library, searching for just the right book.  “However, we can make sure he never darkens our door again.” He picked the right book, flipping to the correct page and put it on the desk and pointed. “We can put a magic lock on the front door. But there is a catch.”

Of course, Faustus thought. There is always a catch. “What is it?”

“This magical lock spell has a blood seal. So if we do this spell, the blood seal would be for Spellman blood meaning that the lock will protect me and my aunts but it would actually lock out any non-blood members of this family like Prudence, you, and even” Ambrose sighed heavily, “Sabrina.”

“May I see this spell?” Faustus asked and Ambrose handed him the book.  After studying the text further, Faustus smiled. “Well, this has a simple fix to it. Sabrina and I will have to spell our house keys and Prudence will have to knock. Excellent work, Ambrose.”

“Thank you, uncle Faustus.” The older man raised his eyebrow and Ambrose felt instantly embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from. It just slipped out.”

“No, don’t apologize. I guess I was just taken aback by how right that sounded.”

After a few more minutes, Faustus left and as Ambrose put the book away, a folder fell off the desk. As he thumped through it, he realized that it was Zelda’s manifesto and was impressed. “aunt Z really might have something here.”

 Meanwhile, on the 2nd floor, Faustus was thinking. Ambrose had the right idea trying to protect the house from Blackwood but what if he could do better? What if he could destroy Blackwood forever?  Faustus went directly to his bedroom and opened the bottom drawer of his nightstand. Faustus smiled when he saw the book. This book was so rare many thought it didn’t exist but working in a bookstore had its perks. Even with Dr. C’s help, it took months to find. Spell books written by warlocks and witches were a dime a dozen, but what Faustus held in his hands was the only known spell book written by a mortal in the world.  Surely, spells written by a mortal could be performed by a mortal or a warlock that gave up his powers. Faustus sighed as he stood up. He went over to the other side of the room where Zelda lay. True, no one had heard a peep out of Zelda since she was put to bed, hours before. Faustus was glad to note that Zelda’s coloring looked much better. He rubbed her back, stroked her hair and softly kissed her. “Rest now, my beauty, and maybe, if this works, when you awake, all our children will be safe under this roof and your murderer shall be no more!” He whispered before kissing her again. Then, book in hand, Faustus left the room and went downstairs. His heart melted as he turned toward the living room. Prudence was asleep on the couch; the blanket was barely on her and her sister was in her basket on the coffee table. Faustus had to smile. Last night’s storm had been so wild and loud that it had been impossible to sleep so most people in the house were taking naps. Faustus had seen Sabrina and Hilda lying down in Sabrina’s room before he came down and even now, he could hear Dr. C light snoring from where he had fallen asleep at the kitchen table. Faustus went further into the room and tucked in Prudence and turning, he smiled down at the still awake baby. “Be sure to watch out for your mother, your sister, your aunt, your uncle and your cousins for me. Daddy will be back.” Faustus kissed his fingers and lightly touched his daughter’s head.

 The 1st spell Faustus tried was called the circle of 9. Before he could even try to perform the spell, Faustus had to build 9 circles, each 1 bigger and wider than the last, out of sticks. It took 2 hours just to set up. Faustus knelt down to start the spell just as the sun was setting.

“Circle of 9, circle of 9, draw him here, bring back what is mine. Be it children, be it voice, be it body or be it mind. Circle of 9, circle of 9, draw him here, bring back what is mine!” Faustus waited a few minutes before he said the whole spell again, then he did a 3rd time, a 4th, and still nothing. Faustus moved on to another spell. Before he knew it, Faustus had performed 6 different spells from the book and still he found himself alone in the now pitch-black woods. Faustus now was leaning by a tree, flipping through the book with the flashlight that he, thank Hecate, remembered to bring with him. As he looked up and saw a shadow. If the shadow was real or a fragment of Faustus’s tired mind, he didn’t know but he was beyond caring.

“ BLACKWOOD!” Faustus yelled. “IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, YOU’RE DONE! I HOPE YOU HAD FUN LAST NIGHT BECAUSE IT WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL EVER, EVER GET NEAR THE SPELLMANS! YOU SEE, THE NIGHT I TOOK THEIR NAME, I ALSO TOOK ON THE FAMILY AS MY OWN AND NO ONE HURTS MY FAMILY!  NO MATTER HOW FAR YOU RUN AND WHERE YOU GO, I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL TAKE MY TWINS BACK. THEN I WILL END YOU! I KNOW YOU HAVE THE MARK OF CAIN, BUT THAT ONLY MEANS I HAVE TO THINK OF A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH. I KNOW YOU DON’T SEE ME A THREAT BUT YOU SHOULD BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME WE MEET, I’LL HAVE MY MAGIC BACK!”

Once he was done yelling at the trees like a lunatic, a defeated and frustrated Faustus walked home. Getting his magic back was something had been on the back of his mind all day. True, the thought of getting all his power back made Faustus feel just as anxious and nervous as ever. Yet, if it meant he could better protect the family, he would rise above it.

  “So, that’s the problem with Nick.”

Faustus followed the sound of Sabrina’s voice to the living room where he saw that the teen sitting cross legged in a chair by the fire, giving the baby her bottle.

“Hi,” she greeted him when she saw Faustus. “Where did you disappear to? We’re starting to get worried and you missed dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” Faustus dismissed as he sat down across from Sabrina. “Why are you speaking of Nicholas to the baby for?”

Embarrassed, Sabrina reddened. “It’s nothing, really. I was just telling the baby that Nick invited me to a dance party at Dorian Grey’s next Saturday. I thought it was date, which has its own problems, then I find out that it’s a group thing and now, I’m more confused than ever.” Sabrina sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spill out everything like that. It’s just that Ambrose and Salem are both sick to death, hearing about my love life, aunt Hilda is still in newlywed mode where all love is rosy and perfect and aunt Z is…not…up…yet.” Sabrina sighed.

Faustus’s heart dropped. He had hoped Zelda had wakened up by now.

The baby cooed in the silence as if to lighten the mood. Sabrina smiled down at the baby. “Turns out that my new little cousin here is a great listener.”

“But she a little quiet about giving out advice.”  Faustus smiled. “You mentioned that dating Nicholas would be a problem. Do you not want to be with him romantically anymore?”

Sabrina sighed deeply. “I just don’t know anymore. Last year, when he came back from hell, I wanted Nick to trust me and lean on me the way, well, the way you leaned on Zelda after you spilt from the curse, but he didn’t.  He completely shut me out and when he broke up with me, it really hurt. Hecate knows that candle spell didn’t work at all.”

“It never does,” Faustus muttered. “I could have opened my own candle shop when I tried to get over your aunt Zelda.”

“But time did help me heal,” Sabrina continued, “I’m been happy being single these past months and I don’t know if I want to fall down the same down the rabbit hole again.”

“Sabrina, I think you should go to the party, as a group, and have fun. If and when you should be with master Nicholas again, you’ll know when it feels right.”

Sabrina smiled. “Thanks for the advice, Mr. Blackwood.”

“Sabrina, I think it’s time you started to calling me Faustus.”

She smiled. “Okay, Faustus. I think your daughter has finished her meal.”

Faustus stood up. “I take the bottle for you. You 2 ladies look too comfortable to be disturbed.”

 Right before Faustus entered the kitchen, he could hear Dr. C’s voice.

“Hilda, you’ve been looking at the clock a lot in the past hour. What’s wrong, my love?”

There were tears in Hilda’s eyes. “Zelda should be up by now. I don’t like talking about it because it’s very rare but if a witch is still asleep 13 hours after a night in the Cain pit, they’re not going to wake up at all. My sister has a half hour left or that beautiful baby girl will grow up without her mother.”

 Hearing this, Faustus didn’t cry or yell or even entered the kitchen. Instead, he placed the baby bottle on a nearby side table and ran upstairs.  Faustus entered his bedroom to see that Zelda was still in bed and still asleep.

“Zelda, wake up,” Nothing happened so he went to her and gently shook her. “Zelda, it’s time to wake up. I know you’re tired and you have every reason to be, but please, my heart, just open your stunning eyes and talk to me for 10 minutes.” He shook her again and still got nothing. So, Faustus knelt down and took one of Zelda’s hands in both of his. “What was it you told me the day I tried to commit suicide? That I couldn’t leave you? Well, I’m going to say it right back to you, Zelda. You can’t leave me! And it just not me. Everyone needs you. The coven needs its high priestess. I still believe that you’re going to be the 1st witch ordained by the council. The academy needs its headmistress and there are not enough words to express how much this family needs you. Hilda is downstairs right now crying that she may never see you again. All the children need you, Zelda.  Granted, she would never admit it, but I know my daughter and Prudence will be just as heartbroken as Ambrose or Sabrina if you-“ Faustus couldn’t even say it, he just shook his head and continued with his next thought. “The twins, when they return, will certainly need you as well as our newborn girl. As for me, oh Zelda, my dearest darling, I need you most of all. I don’t care if that selfish, it’s true. I know I failed you twice today when I wasn’t here for you when Blackwood killed you and I failed when I couldn’t draw him or the twins to me in the woods. But I am getting better at being a Spellman, I am. Ambrose called me uncle today and I just came from a heart to heart with Sabrina but you have to wake up to see it.” There was still silence and Faustus sighed. “I’ve buried 2 mothers of my children, but I didn’t mourn Madeline or Constance because I didn’t love them. I’ve only ever loved you and the thought of losing you is more than I can bear.” Faustus put his head on the mattress and started to sob.

Suddenly, he felt a hand going through his hair. “Faustus Spellman, did you really think you can get rid of me that easily?”

Faustus looked up sharply. “Zelda! Dearest! You’re awake!” Overcome with joy, Faustus, still on his knees, he grabbed and kissed Zelda. It was only mid-way through the kiss that Faustus realized how rough he was being and let go immediately.  “Oh! I’m sorry!”

Zelda chuckled. “Don’t be, I’m fine.”

Faustus gently tucked a hair behind Zelda’s ear. “No,” he whispered to his wife. “You’re more than fine, you’re beautiful and I’ve finally made a decision. I want to be baptized into the Order of Hecate.”

Zelda smiled. “Wonderful. When will the next full moon be?”

“Tomorrow night, I think.”

Zelda smiled. “Perfect. That way we can do your baptism and the presenting in the same night. Speaking of which, have you met our daughter?”

Faustus nodded. “I have and she looks exactly like the most beautiful witch in the world.”

“But I’m her mother. Shouldn’t she look like me?” Zelda smiled.

Faustus laughed. “You’re up for 15 seconds and you’re already telling jokes? No wonder I love you so much.”

“I’ve only seen the baby once. Last night before Hilda brought her down to the kitchen.”

“Well, we can fix that right now.” Faustus kissed her hand before he went to the doorway. “Everyone!” Faustus called out. “Zelda’s up! Someone bring up the baby please.”

That all it took. The only reason Faustus didn’t invite everyone in the room was because he didn’t want Zelda to get overwhelmed but as soon as he announced that Zelda was awake, everyone came running. First, Ambrose and Prudence came down from the attic, followed closely by Sabrina. There were many hugs, tears of joy and happy words of welcome. When Hilda, who was carrying her niece, appeared at the door, Zelda sat up straighter in bed and held out her arms for her baby.

“Hello precious.  It’s mommy,” Zelda purred to her infant. “Did you enjoy your day getting to know our family?”

“When will we know her name?” Wondered Ambrose.

Zelda looked up at her husband, who now sat beside her. “You didn’t tell them her name yet?”

Faustus kissed her brow. “I wanted to wait for you, my love.”

“Everyone,” Zelda addressed the room. “Faustus and I would like to officially introduce our daughter, Cordelia Luna Spellman.”

  In Faustus’s mind, Zelda looked damn hot in a bathing suit, especially after just given birth 2 days ago. It was the next evening and he knew he shouldn’t be lusting over a high priestess at his own baptism, even if she was his wife but he couldn’t help himself. Still, he tried his best to focus on her words.

“We gather in the wood tonight to welcome a new member to the order of Hecate.”

Zelda amazed him. She fallen asleep about an hour after waking and then awoke again at 8 this morning like nothing had ever happened. They had spent most of the afternoon going over his baptism.  The details were straightforward; they had spent more time arguing about the coven. A warlock’s baptism was a coven event, they both knew it, but still, Faustus would have preferred it to be just the family.  Yes, he knew he had the coven’s forgiveness, but seeing them caused him bad memories and made him uneasy. He only gave in when Zelda correctly pointed out that if they weren’t invited and found out about the baptism later, the coven could accuse Faustus of keeping secrets so, he invited them.

Meanwhile, Zelda continued. “The church of night demanded that we all be baptized in blood and sign our names over to a dark lord who demanded we serve him and only him. Hecate does not desire to be our lord. As the goddess who first discovered magic and passed it on to her children, Hecate rightly sees herself as our dark mother, and like a mother, any mother, doesn’t want see harm come to her children. Therefore, a baptism done in Hecate’s name is different from what we have witness before. There will be no blood, there will be no sighing of names in any books. All we will use is the cool, refreshing water of the river while it is bathe in the light of a full moon, which is both the start and end phrase of a witch’s life.”

After delivering her sermon, Zelda took off her robe, revealing that bathing suit that drove Faustus crazy. Zelda waded in the river as Faustus disrobed and joined her in the water.

“Faustus Spellman, son of night, do you come here tonight of your own free will? To be baptized, to be a part of this coven and a servant of Hecate, the 3 in 1?”

“I do.” Faustus said clearly.

“Please kneel,” Faustus did so and Zelda marked his forehead with water.

“Will you disregard any vows you made to any lesser gods and any books that may bear your name.”

“I will.”

“Finally, will you accept Hecate and her beloved Aeete, who is the male 3 in 1, the lad, the father and the old man, into your heart?”

“I will.”

Zelda knelt down. “I will now emerge you in the water. If it pleases Hecate to accept your devotions, you will come out of the water, you will be reborn with your magic born anew.” Zelda explained.

Faustus held his nose before Zelda dunked him under water. A second later, Faustus came up to the surface. Then, holding hands, Faustus and Zelda stood up and together walked out of the river. To see if he really had his magic back, Faustus waved his hand and baby Cordelia, who was in Hilda’s arms, floated through the air and landed in Zelda’s arms.

Faustus smiled. “I think it’s time for the presenting.”

 The presenting was a centuries old ceremony where a couple present their newborn on the stone altar in the woods, to give thanks for a healthy birth and pray to watch over the babe. It was tradition for the presenting to take place the same night of the birth, which is why most witches give birth in the woods. Also, for many years the prayers were offered up to the dark lord. Cordelia was only the 3rd baby in the coven, presented to Hecate. Zelda and Faustus stood off to the side while Hilda, fulfilling her role as night mother, carried the baby to the clearing.

“Hecate, we thank thee for Cordelia’s safe birth and pray for her continued health and happiness.” As soon as Hilda laid Cordelia on the stone altar, an odd thing happened. A thick white glow of white light, not unlike a laser, coming from the moon, beamed down on Cordelia and only Cordelia. The light came so suddenly that Hilda jumped back.

“My baby!” Shrieked Zelda. The light was gone when the witch moved to pick up her daughter. Hilda move closer saw on Cordelia’s tiny left wrist was a half-moon birthmark. A birthmark that hadn’t been there 2 minutes before.

“What’s that?” Asked Hilda. The sisters stared at each other in confusion. Of course, none of the Spellmans knew of the great destiny that awaited their newest member.

[swaps55]

Fanfiction Asks #14, please and thank you!

14. You’re applying for the fanfic writer of the year award. What five fanfics do you put in your portfolio?

This is such a fun question because it’s not about what I like best - it’s about what other people might like best. So I’ve compromised. Three fics I think are pretty universal pleasers, one that everyone else loves while I yell, ‘WHY?’, and one that I staunchly love that never gets noticed. 

1.  Celestial Navigation, E, mShenko

It’s the only explicit fic I’ve ever written (hey what did happen after that date on the Citadel? This. This is what happened). It’s some of the best writing I’ve ever done, because I got to write shit like this:   

Shepard’s armor is as much a part of him as the person underneath it, and he’s not just talking about the hardsuit. There’s the military fatigues. The leather jacket and jeans that make it really fucking hard to pay attention. He’s got shield emitters on all of them, and they’re no less protective for being figurative.  

But skin tells a different story. It doesn’t hide the scars. The wear. The truth. Shepard’s all lean muscle over hard edges – biotic metabolism, just like his – not an ounce of him wasted or spared. His skin is a star chart of things he’s put his body through, and Kaidan’s navigating it as best he can. It hurts to think how much of that history Cerberus erased when they brought him back from the grave. The things Kaidan can’t see. Things he’ll never know.

2.  1600 - Joker x Dr. Chakwas friendship 

This fic means SO much to me, and I was beside myself when a surprising number of other people liked it, too. Joker and Dr. Chakwas from ME1 through the beginning of ME2. 

To Joker, doctors are a dime a dozen. Within minutes he usually knows everything he needs to about them. He’s either a science project or an inconvenient problem, with little middle ground between the two. He’s not sure yet what side of the scale she’s going to fall on, but he also doesn’t care.

Dr. Chakwas looks too perfect, too sterile, her accent too British. She holds her slender arms across her chest, chalk-white hair tucked neatly behind her ear. She’s more of an asari matriarch than most asari matriarchs. Joker doubts she’s ever heard of dirt, and certainly wouldn’t know what to do with it if she found some.

3. The Lifecycle of Butterflies - Post-ME3 family fic. 

This fell out of my head fully formed and I love it desperately. My Shepard is a sentimental sonofabitch, and his daughter is smarter than he realizes. This is the day she finds out why he collects seashells. 

He spares a hand to grab the box, then makes his way through the house to a small room he only occasionally uses.

She picks her head up when she sees where they’re going, squirming a little in distress before pulling back just far enough to look him in the eye with a somber gaze. “Daddy, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

His eyebrows jump in surprise as his feet come to an abrupt halt, arms tightening around her out of reflex. “Sad? Amina, no. Why…why would you think…?”

Her eyes dart to the door before she buries her face against his shoulder. “You go in there when you’re sad,” she says, voice muffled against his shirt.  

4. Stars - mShenko

My first mShenko fic ever, basically a glorified prose poem. On one hand? WOW PEOPLE LIKED IT WHOOOOO! On the other hand?  I wrote it in 20 minutes while falling asleep, and no one should like something I wrote in 20 minutes while falling asleep.

The first time it happens, Kaidan wakes up to find Shepard sitting at the side of the bed, shoulders hunched, contours of his body bathed in sweat, trembling so violent and hard Kaidan thinks he might fly apart.

“Shepard?” he says in alarm.

“I can’t breathe,” Shepard wheezes, nails raking the back of his neck for a helmet that isn't there. “God, I can’t breathe.”

Starlight gleams through the shutters.

5. Not Fine - mShep x Garrus, ride-or-die friendship. TW for suicidal thoughts, blood. 

This is the ‘no one seems to notice it but it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done,’ fics. Garrus is my Shepard’s ride or die, no matter what best friend, and the only reason he makes it home from the Collector base alive. This is some super PTSD Shepard, and I stand by it.

“Shepard.”

He doesn’t even look up at the sound of EDI’s voice, instead taking in the glitter of shattered glass and hunks of brightly colored polymers now scattered across his desk with a vague sense of amusement.

A bright red splotch drips from his hand and hits the desktop, scattering like a starburst.

One of the fins of the Destiny Ascension hangs precariously on the edge, the dense, round hull and three remaining spikes are somewhere near the comm terminal. The turian cruiser is missing its nose, the wing of the Alliance cruiser rests in his coffee cup.

[frizz22]

Continuation of your Worlds Collide one shot where the next time they come over Zelda and Faustus are properly fighting like smashing things and screaming at each other and Zelda using telekinesis??

1. Gabriela Mendes prompt: Showing how the hunting of Zelda and Faustus went, who was right and what prize the winner won?2. Molly2501 asked for a continuation 

Notes: 3 for 1! Since all of these dealt with the same fic I combined them. Hope you don’t mind :) Read part 1 here and part 2 on ao3

They’d set out for the hunt; equally arrogant and certain they would win. Zelda had never dreamed they’d both be wrong. 

When she found the beast, first, she might add, the realization stunned her long enough that it almost got close enough to attack. It was only Faustus coming up behind her just then and casting a spell temporarily blinding the thing that allowed Zelda to dodge out of the way.

Breathing heavily, she turned and locked eyes with Faustus; he nodded once and the two of them moved in tandem to kill the beast. Spells flew, each of them sensing what the other was casting before it even left their fingers and able to cast a follow up spell that increased the damage of the first.

When the creature finally fell, dead, Zelda approached it slowly, toeing the carcass with her shoe to be sure. Scoffing, Zelda glanced at Faustus where he’d come and knelt next to the creature. “A Chimera. Seems we were both wrong.” She muttered, rounding the beast to better examine it.

A huff escaped Faustus as he flicked his wrist to run a few spells on the dead chimera. “And no wonder we were wrong, chimeras aren’t allowed out of Hell, for good reason.” He gestured to the size and appearance of the thing, it wasn’t something easily hidden or explained away to mortals. “It never should have made it past the first few circles of Hell, let alone all the way to our plane and into Greendale.” Standing, Faustus brought his gaze to hers. “Help me teleport it to the academy?” It was much easier to move something so large with the help of another witch than to attempt it alone and they could hardly leave the thing in the middle of the woods where a mortal might stumble across it.

Nodding, Zelda rounded the chimera and stopped next to Faustus. Clasping hands, they combined their magic to transport the beast to the academy for further studying.

Adrenaline still pumping through her from the encounter, Zelda didn’t let go of Faustus’ hand when they completed the spell. “Seeing as how we were both... off in our guesses, how shall we settle our bet?” Zelda purred, looking up at Faustus under hooded lids.

A wicked smile stretched on Faustus’ lips as his eyes swept over her hungrily. “Oh, dearest, I’m sure we can figure out a way to deal with the fact that we tied.” He drew her in for a hot kiss then, breaking only long enough to teleport them to his bedroom and ensuring the door was locked and a silencing spell in place before descending on her again.

~~~

Still trying to catch his breath a bit, Faustus undid the scraps of silk holding Zelda’s limbs to the bedposts. Her body fell limp against the mattress, she groaned happily and when he joined her, and she curled lazily into his side.

“Hmm, we should ‘tie’ more often.” She intoned, nipping his neck lightly and his arms tightened around her.

Chuckling, Faustus pulled her closer. “Agreed.” He replied, fingers dancing along her skin. “And to keep things fair, it’s my turn to be tied next round.”

Eyes shining with excitement and lust, Zelda growled her approval and latched her lips more firmly to his neck while her hand slid lower.

~~~

Another few rounds and a bath together later, Zelda was getting dressed to go home; Faustus lounging on the bed, watching her.

“You could stay.” He murmured, easing himself off the bed to stand behind her and slid her zipper on the back of her dress up.

Huffing softly, Zelda shook her head. “You know I can’t. My family likely already burned the house down in my absence.” She turned and cupped his cheek sweetly, pressing a light kiss to his lips.

He caught her hand as she made to pull away. “We could,” he cleared his throat and swiped his thumb over the back of her hand. “We could make it so you didn’t have to go back and forth.”

Brow furrowing, Zelda cocked her head at the warlock in front of her. “What are you saying?”

~~~

Sabrina and her friends were sprawled in the floor in the parlor, working on a project for Ms. Wardell’s class. Though her friends were far from out of questions about the witching realm, they did have homework to finish. So, though Sabrina was happy she could have certain people over without hiding her family and their lives, she’d made them move to the parlor to work—it also helped that Aunt Hilda and Cerberus had needed to run to the store for more supplies and Ambrose had disappeared to go see Luke. Meaning there were far fewer distractions.

They’d finally hit their stride, actually paying attention to their project and not asking more witching questions, when Aunt Zelda burst through the front door, disturbing the quiet, and Blackwood two steps behind her.

They were shouting at one another.

“I don’t care what the coven has to say about the matter,” Zelda snarled, rounding on Blackwood, eyes flashing dangerously.

Slamming the door behind him, Blackwood scoffed. “You’d flaunt tradition?”

Closing the space between them, Zelda bared her teeth. “In this? Absolutely.”

Blackwood lost his patience and snatched a vase from the side table and flung it across the room, strewing flowers and water in its wake. “You’re being intractable for no reason other than—"

“No reason?!” Zelda interrupted, and the furniture and other loose items in the room rose about an inch into the air from where they’d been sitting.

Not backing down, Blackwood gave her a curt nod. “Yes. No reason other than you cannot commit. To anything.” He added, throwing a hand into the air.

More magic crackled through the air, and even Sabrina and Roz’s hair began to lift into the air. Theo muttered a small ‘whoa’, but the adults didn’t seem to realize they were there. Zelda suddenly waved her hand and the vase Blackwood had thrown before came hurtling back at him.

He barely blocked the projectile with a spell and arched a brow. “That how it’s going to be? Instead of talking you’re going to throw things like a—"

This time a lamp was levitated off a side table in the parlor and hurtled at him. “Like a what, Faustus? You’re the one who started throwing things.” Zelda snapped, following the lamp with the heavy phone book sitting by the front door.

Blackwood cast a shielding spell that had her aunt stumbling several feet back with its strength. “Because you never listen.” He retorted, casting another spell which Zelda deflected. And though on some level Sabrina knew she should interfere; she was just as transfixed watching the interaction as her friends.

“Never listen?” Zelda repeated back incredulously, “never listen? Perhaps that’s because you never truly say what you mean.” She launched a small side table at Blackwood now and he didn’t block it in time, and it knocked him back into the wall and then pinned him there, Zelda’s hand held up to ensure he couldn’t move. “You’re always hiding behind the church or coven traditions, you never say flat out you want something, or someone, just because it’s what you want. There’s always another reason, another purpose than because you want something.”

Zelda stalked closer so their noses were only inches apart, both of their mouths curling into snarls. “When you finally have the courage to ask me that question without some nonsense about the Dark Lord, the church, or the coven, then you can come back.” She spat and, based on how the snarl on Blackwood’s face transformed into a grimace, she’d pressed the table against him even harder. Suddenly knives flew in from the kitchen and hovered menacingly behind Zelda, the tips pointed at Blackwood. “Do we have an understanding?” She asked, eyes flashing dangerously and now even Sabrina and her friends were lifting about an inch off the ground.

Eyes flicking to where the knives were floating, Blackwood nodded. “Perfectly.” He ground out, livid but clearly at a disadvantage.

Arching a brow in acknowledgment, the knives flew forward and buried themselves into the wall on either side of Blackwood and her aunt stalked upstairs; her magic dissipating as she left and items lowered back to the floor.

The table pinning Blackwood was the last thing to fall and he was breathing harshly when it did. Straightening his coat with a stiff jerk, Blackwood glared up the stairs where her aunt had disappeared and then teleported away.

Blinking, Roz and Theo turned and gaped at Sabrina, likely expecting some explanation.... she didn’t have one, though, Sabrina was just as stunned by what they’d witnessed. Before they could find their voices again, Hilda and Cerberus came through the front door, the smiles sliding from their faces at the destruction.

Lips pursing, Hilda turned to Sabrina. “Love, while your friends may be in the know, now, that doesn’t mean you need to be unnecessarily demonstrating—"

“It wasn’t me!” Sabrina hurriedly stated, pushing herself into her knees. “We were just doing homework when Auntie Zee and Father Blackwood came back. They’re the ones responsible.” She gestured to the broken vase, lamp, overturned table and knives in the wall.

Hilda squeaked when she saw the knives and turned to the stairs. “Zelda Spellman!” She shouted up, pushing her bag into Cerberus’ arms and propelling him to the kitchen while she waited for her sister to respond.

When Zelda finally appeared at the top of the stairs, she looked entirely unconcerned about what’d happened. “Yes?” She drawled, leaning in the railing.

Huffing in disbelief, Hilda gestured to the mess that was the foyer. “Care to explain why my good knives are currently embedded in the wall?” She asked pointedly, hands on her hips.

Rolling her eyes, Zelda walked down the steps at a leisurely pace. “Faustus and I were having a discussion.” She informed her sister, though from the look in her eye Sabrina could tell that the ‘discussion’ was still bothering her aunt.

A scoff emanating from Hilda recaptured Sabrina’s attention. “And what kind of discussion leads to—"

“A private one.” Zelda cut in as she reached the bottom of the stairs, brow arched. Though she did flick her wrist causing the table to right itself, the vase and lamp to become whole once more and the knives flew from the wall and towards the kitchen where they heard Cerberus yelp in surprise. “There.”

Unimpressed, Hilda shook her head and made for the kitchen with Zelda. “Does this have to do with your bet? Did you lose?”

A bark of laughter escaped Zelda. “Lose? Hilda, please.” She shook her head. “I was the first one to find the beast. Though, it may have been a chimera. So, neither of us were correct and I tracked it faster so I certainly didn’t lose.”

“A, a chimera!” Hilda gasped, their conversation continuing as they moved further away.

Sabrina turned back to her friends, a grimace on her face. “Okay, I know how that looked and sounded. It’s not norm—"

“Your aunt fought a fucking chimera?” Theo murmured, eyes round.

“That’s badass.” Roz added, shaking her head. “I mean, what?!”

Getting to his knees, Theo nodded enthusiastically. “And, and that fight?!” He moved his hands as though he were casting spells. “She was just like wham and he went whoosh, and then she pinned him to the wall, and everything was floating!”

Stunned that her friends were impressed instead of perturbed by the brawl in the foyer, Sabrina let it go and dove right into talking about chimeras—only too happy to get distracted from their project if it meant her friends hadn’t been frightened away by this sudden display of magic.

[kryptsune]

*Hell Lore

🌼I made a mention in the prior post that I have an entire Hell canon. It is something I maintain through many of my stories involving demons or angels so the newest addition of Contract (aka my Mafiafell verse) is not excluded. I made them separate so it wasn’t too overwhelming as most of the time these posts are. I hope you all enjoy and my ask box is always open for questions and curiosities. 

*Due to this being hellish lore there may be triggering or disturbing material ahead. Please be mindful of the warning! Thanks!

------------------------------------------------

Universe type: Multiverse Demon/variants 

Alternate “Nicknames” Info:

 *Demons {Nicknames and True Names}:*

Gered: Xaketh

Red: Valruth (Beast)

Crim: Derzath

Grimm: Cerberus (Rus)

Boss: Sokan

Gin (fallen): Kelran

Dusk: Dantillion 

Blade: Zorrol

Ouro: Ouroboros 

*Angels {Nicknames and True Names}: *

Comic: Halo

Cayn: Sariel

Nova: Sorath

Pap: Akriel

Dawn: Zaphkiel

Glitch: Adellum

Script: Malakh

There is a lot of info below the cut so if you are interested give it a look! 

The 7 Princes and Their Kingdoms (In order by power):

1. Lust (Crown Prince)- Gered: Being the second eldest to his brother Nas Gered is the next in line to inherit the throne. He conducts himself very similar to his Kingly brother as he is more the gentleman type. Don’t let that fool you however as Gered is known for his silver tongue. He appears gentle with those he comes in contact with but that only hides the true demon within him. Just as the elder of the siblings Gered embodies more than his crowned sin. He is known to be overly prideful and with quite the possessive greedy streak. The only time he will allow sharing anything that he considers to be his is when it is with his siblings and it depends on which ones. Unlike his younger brother, Red, Gered tends to not revel in his sin but rather enjoys it in moderation. It may be that due to Gered’s amount of angelic blood he is a more positive side of his sin with a desire for passion and possessiveness then just carnal pleasure. He appears in fine tailored suits and waistcoats looking like the prince he is. Since Gered is the second eldest he does not look as demon-like as he should though every Prince has a menacing true form to them.  

 Un-Crowned Prince- Red: Red or as he is known, Beast, is one of the youngest of their family. This, however, does not prevent Gered from taking the younger under his wing and as such Red becomes the next in line to become crown Prince of his kingdom. Red has very little if not any angelic blood in his bones. That would explain his more demon appearance with claw-like fingers, horns, and tail. Red is known for his love of carnal pleasure and sadism. He is one who does not take no for an answer which can be deadly to those he sets his eyes on. He is far more aggressive than his brother though that could be to some happenings in his past. He tends to show off his ribcage and he is not one to hide things. Red is a notorious flirt as is Gered but Red’s tactics result from more the physical than flowery language or silver tongue. He is actually quite blunt.  

2. Pride- Boss: One of the eldest of the princes, Boss is known for his ego. He is the Prince and warden of Pride. His kingdom revolves around imprisonment. A giant jail cell for the worst of the worst. Boss is the kind of demon that has no problem getting his hands dirty. In fact, he rather enjoys it. He is known to give hope to some of his inmates and strip that away from them as cruelly as possible. He is rather stern and far too serious for his own good but he takes a lot of pride in his station as well as amusement. Some of the souls he wardens are forced into mind games subjecting them to a series of near-impossible trials even going so far as to convince those imprisoned that they are still alive. Which is an outright lie. Boss’ appearance is more demonic than his older brothers but not to the level of Red. His fingers are more claw-like and have those iconic demon horns though his stature remains unaffected. Out of all the Princes Boss is most likely the most intimidating even with lacking the overly demonic look to him.

3. Wrath (Crown Prince)- Crimson: Crimson is a demon that is notorious for his blood lust. He also goes by The Crimson Lord or Bloody Lord. Crimson is the harsh ruler of the Kingdom of Wrath. A dog without a leash rather. He is frigid towards real affection/emotion unless he has the goal to manipulate you. The only exception would be that of his brother. His pride and ego are legendary and rarely ever take no for an answer. He is nicknamed the bloody lord for a reason as he has a vampiric nature. His love of the finer things in life leaves him very possessive and greedy as well. 

His favorite pastime is to break the will of the soul because he is known as the first vampire he can easily trance others into their own death. He brings souls up from his kingdom as well as others to feed on frequently in “bathing in the blood of his enemies” In the most literal way. Just like Gered and Nas, Crimson enjoys finery. His Kingdom rests as the third most powerful and wealthy but that does not exclude his own castle. It is presumably the most lavish of the kingdoms while the rest is fiery pits and bloody streams. He has a temper and usually finds even the slightest inconvenience irritating. He has a fascination for metalwork as his castle harkens back to the medieval time period. In order to fuel his amusement, he finds himself disguised while walking among souls so he can convince them that he is damned just like them only for it to be too late. Crimson is both a sadist and a masochist at heart and those things amuse him greatly. If you can get on his good side and amuse him he may let you live but it is very rare as his thirst for blood is nearly unquenchable.

Un-Crowned Prince- Grimm: Grimm keeps his brother's love of sadistic games but he is less bloodthirsty than the former. He is more animalistic then his brother giving into more carnal desires just as Red does. Grimm is Crimson’s older brother though even with his stature most think the opposite. He could be classified as the wild one. His eyes are usually a golden/yellow color looking more like pupils then the typical skeleton blank sockets. When he is more in his feral mode those sockets will turn black with that blazing yellow pupil. His eyes in this state resemble that of a wolf. He is known as the guard dog of the Realm due to his true demon form of a giant three-headed skeletal canine beast. Cerberus.  

He will be more docile unless it comes to his games is when he is in predator mode. Grimm is also incredibly needy and does not care about the state of his victims which he usually brings to his brother. He is submissive to Crimson but that does not mean he will tolerate being treated like a dog. He is still the older brother after all. He is a flirt just to get what he wants and he loves it when others fight back. Unlike his brother, Grimm could care less about all the finery all he cares about is the pleasure, fun, and thrill. Grimm is curious by nature so if you draw his attention you may survive long enough to get on his good side. He also has a well known sweet tooth though his brother tries to discourage him from the habit. 

4. Greed- Blade: Being the prince of greed nothing could more suited to Blade. He is the embodiment of greedily hoarding what he desires from others in an almost possessive and obsessive way. This includes material wealth or in Blade’s case human souls. He is the most… disturbing of the Princes as he has an obsession with mortals. Just like its namesake the kingdom of greed does not like to share its knowledge with others and keeps its secrets close. Blade loves to play with his toys and out of all the princes, he is probably the worst one to be stuck with as you may be turned into a puppet before long. He lures people in with a more approachable and likable personality before showing his more crazy side. Just like his universal counterpart Blade is still very much the yandere serial killer type. It’s rumored he keeps a room filled with various “human” parts hanging from the ceiling. His title is the doll maker. Which is disturbing in of itself. He is also 100% both a sadist and a masochist.

5. Envy- Dusk: Dusk is the prince of Envy. Unlike Blade dusk appears to have more of a gentlemanly attitude like his older brothers. Mostly because he looked up so highly to them. He may be envy but he does not exactly embody the sin with which he is assigned. That does make him a little jealous of some of his other siblings but he does not feel the need to openly refute their claims. If anything Dusk is quite the opposite of his kingdom. He was mostly appointed there since he is good at keeping others persuaded and calm. The souls in this kingdom can be unruly and unlike his other brothers, Dusk sees his station almost as some kind of necessary evil. He would rather walk on earth doing a job more suited to his own abilities and unfortunately, he is all too aware that his one brother, the angel by the name of Dawn, banished him here for his jealousy. He spends a lot of his time alone reading about the world above and what it has to offer. That kind of curiosity has never left him. He does have a rivalry and distaste for this brother of greed, however. He is a master of illusion, making you crave something you know you can never have. It is how the souls are tortured in this kingdom. 

 6. Gluttony- Ouro: Named after the symbol of Ouroboros, Ouro, is the prince of the kingdom of Gluttony. Ouro is known for being a hoarder of anything he desires. He is extraordinarily greedy and does not interact much with others. His appearance is more demon in nature with a mix of dragon and snake as his name dictates. He is hard to get to know if you are even given that opportunity but once you do he will spoil you. Out of all the princes, he is probably the least likable next to Blade though he does not have the same sick masochistic personality. Some say that he has to fill a hole inside of him and that is why he acts the way he does. He is very standoffish and nearly always has a scowl on his face. He also has a rather fiery temper. He does his duties to the kingdom ignoring his two neighboring brothers who always seem to be at odds. 

 7. Sloth- Gin: Gin is the final prince but not by choice. Once a seraphim angel he was cast down protecting his younger brother, Cayn. Once the lively angel of guardians now has become an uncaring demon. The only care he has in this world is to see if the sacrifice that he made for his brother protected him or not. Gin lazes around mostly locking himself up in his study. He has no servants or dukes to command but rather is content with what he has. He tends to always be on the grouchy side perhaps due to an overabundance of sleep. A biological thing that demons do not need by the way. He keeps his brother's memory alive by doing things that he used to love including baking. Gin is pretty laid back of them all but his nihilistic demeanor can be grating to his other siblings. In essence, this poor boy has lost a lot of his hope for anything better and thus does not care. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*The Kingdoms*

Lust- The kingdom that used to be ruled by the current King of Hell. The hierarchy works that each kingdom rules over a certain sin committed by those punished. The closer that they are to The Capital the richer and more prosperous. There is also little technology save for the capital and the two kingdoms following it. The lust kingdom is ruled by Gered who is the crown prince and following that is Red. He is a prince as well but uncrowned to one of the major kingdoms (he could honestly care less). The kingdom of lust revels in opulence and is known for its material wealth. The demons here tend to be debaucherous and are known for their slave/pet dealings. The demons in this kingdom tend to be overly needy causing them to sate their desires with damned souls or each other. 

Underneath the crown prince and his brother, this kingdom also has established a series of appointments with Dukes and lords. It is well known that nothing can really sate these demons appetites for pleasure. They do as they will still following under the rules set forth by the King however they tend to get away with more considering their kingdoms standing. It is known as the kingdom of servitude in multiple ways. Lust also does not just account for physical pleasure but lust for anything such as wealth or power as an example. It is rumored that the two brothers appear to be opposites in their handling of the sin. Gered being more about possession and passion while Red is more the stereotypical lust. Out of all the kingdoms, this one seems to be the “best” one to be sentenced to especially if you find yourself at the feet of its ruler. The humans here are usually taken care of quite nicely, though it is also rumored that these souls do not belong in Hell at all.  

Appearance-wise the lust kingdoms Castle is paved with marble and gold. It is near spotless excluding wealth and grandeur. The massive walls that hide the Castle from view are covered in thick lush green vines and flowers. The wall also has lace-like porticos that spill a strange liquid from snake-like mouths. It is said that a human that even consumes a drop of it will be subject to their demon masters will for eternity. A strong manipulative love potion in essence. The Palace gardens are almost as if they were taken from the Garden of Eden itself which is entirely possible. The further away from the center, the city becomes less ostentatious though not dilapidated by any means. Many of Hell's elite live in this kingdom. 

Pride- The kingdom of Pride ruled by Boss is the second one from the Capital. As such it too exudes opulence at its center. This is the kingdom known as The Cell unlike the kingdom of Lust, Pride only shows off its splendor near its castle and some of the surrounding areas. It is mostly utilized as a giant torture pit. This is where souls are sent as punishment for the most severe crimes and tortured mercilessly sometimes torn to shreds only to be revived. Their leader is a ruthless warden of sorts making sure that everyone obeys the laws both set forth for demon or soul. Demons sentenced to exile are also detained here in this confusing catacomb prison. It is filled with deadly traps and pitfalls to prevent escape as well. Humans of high status on earth and are now subjected to the same kind of torment they put on others in the worst way possible. Dictators, murderers and the like. 

The Cell is also where souls are twisted beyond recognition and where new demons are made. In this world, demons are made not born and those corrupted souls become the new generation. It could take years. It could take centuries but being thrown into The Cell is a sure-fire sentence.

Wrath- The Kingdom of Wrath is the kingdom of War and bloodlust. It is quite well known that the brothers all have had their eyes set on multiple kingdoms at one time that exemplifies their vices. The ruler of Wrath, Crimson, is a ruthless warlord with an unusual thirst for blood and not in a war-hungry way. The Kingdom supplies and trains those for the Capital's personal guard as well as the demons that are considered soldiers. This is also the Kingdom of the tainted. Those that are not quite a demon but also not quite human. A long time ago when demons walked among the humans, one demon wreaked havoc. A demon so infatuated with humanity that he began to turn them away from their old religions so that they would worship him. In turn, he gave them his power creating half breeds. What humanity calls vampires, werewolves, and fae. The humans began to decline at rapid numbers and since those of half-demon blood were considered corrupted they had little use. Now they span the kingdom of Wrath as soldiers, mindless, and obeying only their “king.” 

Its alternate title is that of the Kingdom of Blood. Those unfortunate souls forced to end up in such a horrible kingdom will find themselves burning alive in the flames of their own anger. Some are even dragged into labs to be experimented on. The human souls usually sentenced here were the warriors that committed atrocities without a second glance at the innocent. Those that killed children in the name of the king is an example of this. Crimson was the demon that started all of this half breed creation which would explain why he was passed up for the crown of Lust as his blood lust is legendary. It is most likely his mild punishment for his past actions. The two brothers are most likely where the vampire and werewolf mythology stems from on earth.    

 Greed- The kingdom of greed is unlike any other kingdom as it rarely has souls within it (they don’t last long). They are usually the type of killers that were mentally undone. Ones that took a sick twisted pleasure in their artistry. Those are usually brought from the outside. Their ruler, Blade, is what one might call… unhinged at best. They are known for their experimentation attempting to twist mortal souls into whatever is desired. The castle though appearing rather plain on the outside is a treacherous confusion of mind-bending illusions and hallways.  

Envy- This is the kingdom that trains and outsources spies as well as assassins. Demonic hitmen used to gain political power among their respective kingdoms. They are known for their thieves mostly stealing from their neighboring kingdom of greed, specifically souls. They are based around the shadows which are quite fitting as the ruler of their kingdom, Dusk, has the ability to manipulate shadows. Envy is known as the shadow kingdom usually housing those souls of the occult and black magic. Those that tried to obtain the unobtainable through magical or demonic means. Dusk does not take kindly to this as these souls are tortured for all eternity forced to relive and conjure their own worst fears in a land of darkness. A never-ending nightmare would be an apt description. 

Gluttony- Those that are placed into this kingdom as punishment are subjected to the torture of starvation and thirst. The prince’s castle is surrounded by a never-ending desert with no hope for food or drink. Souls are forced to starve wandering this desert for the rest of eternity. The demons banished into this place feast on mortal corpses that fall tearing them to pieces like scavengers. When the sun sets these mortals to end up back where they started in one piece having to endure the same torture over and over. Ouro the ruler of his kingdom does not do much in the way of duty. He tends to delegate his jobs to other lower-level demons. If a mortal manages to cross the desert the torture is withstanding. Any food will turn to ash in their mouths and any water will burn the throat. It is an endless never quenchable thirst and hunger. 

Sloth- Sloth is the final kingdom before the banished and forgotten kingdoms beyond. It is “ruled” by Prince Gin though no one could actually tell you what it took to maintain the kingdom. It is the poorest of the rest as the palace shines in all its glory through all the destitution surrounding it. The souls here are never allowed to rest forced to work the land for food production. Which is hilarious because that food does literally nothing for demons. Ok, hilarious in a cruel sick way. The demon lords and princes do like to have their feasts and lavish parties but that food is very different. In essence, mortals are forced into a constant state of fatigue. Never able to drink, eat, or most of all sleep. After this kingdom lies the outer reaches of Hell. Those souls are the lost ones forced into limbo. Those that have nowhere to go. This is also where the banished are sent. There is no hope as it appears to be an endless forest with no hope of escape. The fog takes their memory from them forcing them to wander for the rest of eternity and most likely consumed by rouge demons prowling the outskirts. A soul banished to limbo can find themselves at Hell’s gates but it is very rare and not at all a better outcome. 

The King of Hell:

Nasaros is the current King of Hell being the eldest son of his father. Just like his father his angelic blood makes him stand out above his younger siblings. He seems gentlemanly and rather laid back for someone of his status but do not let that fool you. Due to Nas, blood, he is just as harsh if not more so than his demonic brothers. He is not actually a demon either but rather a fallen angel (there is a difference). He has a silver tongue keeping to flowery language. Some feel as though he is weak due to his blood but his brothers know better than that and dare not question their older brother. Nas has an egotistical air about him but it is more subtle. He has an extreme distaste for demonkind as he does not consider himself one of their ilk. Therefore he is not tolerant of any kind of infraction. Demons that do not follow the rules are quickly dispatched of without mercy. His abilities are not as well known as the brothers but it can be assumed he can utilize all his sibling's abilities as well as some more angelic ones. 

Curiously he has more of a demon-like appearance than his younger brother Gered. He tends to wear white in the majority of his clothing leaning more toward tailored tailcoats and suits. An almost denial of what he has become. He has three sets of wings though they are rarely seen indicating he used to be a seraph. In his younger years before he was crowned King, he was the Prince of the Kingdom of Lust. In his state of mind, he did not want his demon half to “corrupt” him any longer. Out of fear and denial, he split himself into two separate beings. One as the embodiment of the negative side of sin and the other the more positive. These two Princes, though two halves of one whole, eventually were able to come to the conclusion that who they were before was their true self. 

Unlike his father, Nas seems to attempt to reform Hell in a way adding rules and regulations to the more unruly of his subjects. These rules mostly extend to those souls that are wrongly labeled as damned. He knows that an impurity leads Heaven to shut its gates on some of these souls with no hope for survival. It is not a common occurrence however under Nas decree these souls are to not be harmed.

Saros: If there was a complete opposite to Naos then Saros would be it. He is haughty, prideful, lavish, and over the top. His outgoing demeanor causes him to throw lavish banquets and parties surrounding himself with the elite of Hell. Saros is a negative aspect of lust. He is needy and uses pleasure as a manipulation tool. He drinks and sleeps around not giving it any thought. He is also possessive though it is more treating something like a trophy then someone to be treasured. He is the true embodiment of carnal pleasure and debauchery. 

Naos: Out of the two Naos is the more gentle. He tends to be very shy when interacting with others only making his presence known when necessary. He is not the flirty type but rather the romantic if you manage to catch his affection and favor. His appearance causes him to wear darker colors like black. Unlike his unruly brother Naos enjoys peace and quiet. He is easily flustered. Sometimes he will sit in the garden and sing a soft little tune. His personality is very soft but he is also very possessive and overprotective.    

The New Order:

The new shift in power causes some unrest among the denizens of Hell. Their old order was to corrupt and damn souls for all eternity no matter the cost. The spilling of blood was of no consequence. That, however, changes when Nas comes into power that all changes. His decree is that demons should be conducting themselves more decorum then they used to. No more earthly rampages. No more innocent deaths. The souls not meant for Hell are put under his protection. He cleans up Hell by holding demons accountable for their more sadistic tendencies. Humans have long since forgotten their presence. To them, they are nothing more than superstition and Hollywood fabrication. The new global ability to communicate in mere seconds leave them with a poor reputation. 

Nowadays they are known for making more deals. In fact, under royalty, the most prestigious job in Hell are the deal makers. The demons associated with soul collection as that is one way to gain more power as a demon. The more souls the stronger and potentially more abilities gained as well. These demons appear on earth offering their services disguised as humans tempting wayward souls. The dukes, lords, and even prince also do deals of a higher caliber though they rarely leave Hell. It would take a very powerful soul for them to gain any interest even if they are summoned. 

Each demon of high status also has a specific sigil used to summon them. It is, as stated previously, very dangerous and usually only 30% effective. Some demons, Crimson as an example, will gladly show up for a little bit of carnage or to mess with souls. Contrary to mortal belief demons do not take to sacrificing lightly in fact it is highly frowned upon. Any mortals of an occult stupid enough to try and summon any of them usually end up choking on their own blood.  

The Red String of Fate: 

The Red string of fate is constant in the world that has consequences when altered. It is very similar to the idea that our destinies are intertwined with others and if that string is cut it creates a butterfly effect. Demons tend to do as they please but when it comes to altering the course of humanity it is a very harsh offense. Under the Prince's father, this offense was minor but when Bas took control of the throne that sentence increase. A demon tampering with or severing the string of fate is exiled, banished, or executed. If one string is severed it is possible to reform however multiple could cause an apocalyptic event of biblical proportions. Contrary to human belief demons have no desire to obliterate the earth. They rather like their little playground. Anything that would jeopardize the fate of either Hell or Earth is grave.   

The Blood of the Innocent: 

Innocent souls subjected to the selectiveness of Heaven's elite are thrown into Hell just by association with any type of demonic ritual. Innocents sacrificed for summoning are branded as corrupted and therefore unworthy to enter Heaven's gates. These souls are considered pure and are housed in The Capital away from any demons that may cause them harm, especially that of children. If a mortal is sacrificed to a specific demon then that Prince is made responsible. This occurrence, however, is rare as the horrors that befall those that try this kind of act… are too horrible to describe. It takes someone really greedy or stupid to even attempt such a thing. 

Pure souls are constantly in danger as demons feel their power and have an almost instinctual desire to devour it. This is an outcome for those types of souls but the process is painless (if the demon in question desires it). It is better than living an eternity in Hell anyway. Some are kept at the palaces if a Prince sees fit though that is an even rarer occurrence than the former.

Demons are Made not Born:     

A souls prolonged time in Hell withstanding numerous tortures begins to twist their very being. Their souls become more and more corrupt as time goes on forcing a metamorphosis. It is said that one of the reasons demons devour souls is because they are trying to fill the emptiness of their own soul. The one that they lost long ago. Once this process takes place their memories begin to fade of their past mortal lives. They are then reborn as a demon befitting their newly corrupted soul. It is rare that a soul is corrupted to become powerful but it is possible. These demons are usually low level and serve as they were originally intended.

——————————————

DO NOT REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION IT IS NOT FOR YOUR USE. IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG INSTEAD! It helps me so much! It makes such a difference.💙If you want more of these just let me know! It’s the only way I can gauge interest! Thank you, everyone, for your continuous love and support. It truly means so much to me.

💙Ways to Support💙:

Discord: >>>>Underworld<<<< (this is the best way to find/get to know me)

Archive of Our Own: >>>Fallenfellfrisk<<<

Twitter: >>>Fallen_fell<<<<

Kofi: >>>Fallenfellfrisk<<<

[janetbrown711]

“We’re married! We’re actually married now. I get to call you my husband/wife forever!”-Lena ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)❤️

News in Olympus seemed to travel faster than Calaïs and Zetes being chased by Harpies. The moment Lena stopped by to discuss wedding details with her sister she could barely take a step before being bombarded with questions about her relationship and if they were actually getting married. It's like they wanted to remind her why she hated this place.

Eventually though, Lena just used her powers to look extra horrifying as she walked so people gave her a five foot radius of distance so that worked out nicely.

Eva and Lena were able to set the date for latw October and created a very small guest list of the main 12 gods (if they felt like it, its not like they were actually obligated) plus a couple extra. Cerberus was to be the ring bearer. Dewey was to help cut Eva's hair (Lena said she'd cut just a little from her bangs because her hair was already pretty short but it was tradition after all). Webby was to officiate. Llewellyn would be Lena's best man, and Dewey would be Eva's. The Furies would keep guard to make sure nobody unwanted got in (since the news was spreading and all). Hopefully nothing would go disastrously wrong.

"Eva! Wake up! You're like- two hours late," Dewey banged on Eva's door. She shot up out of her bed, getting herself whiplash as she did.

"Don't tell me you forgot," Dewey let himself in as she scampered herself out of her bed and over to her mirror to brush her hair.

"I've been stressed," Eva scowled at him. He snorted.

"Where is Lena anyway?" Dewey asked.

"Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," Eva said.

"Says who?" He crossed his arms.

"Goldie. Now shut up and help me," Eva handed him the brush, recognizing she was too frantic to be brushing her hair well. Dewey tisk tisked before taking it and brushing it a lot calmer.

"I was lying about you being two hours late," he said. Eva immediately elbowed him.

"Yeowza. What was that for?" He whimpered dramatically.

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. Dewey brushed her hair a bit more before he spoke again.

"So how short do you want it cut? I like your hair long," he pondered.

"Dunno. Whatever feels right to you," she took back the brush and went into her closet.

"You know, for Lady of the Underworld, i would really expect her to have her own servants help you, not someone who is many, many leagues above you," Dewey joked and Eva threw a shoe at him.

"You watch your mouth mister. I'm about to become a queen," she scowled before returning her search for her wedding dress.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it," Dewey mocked her. Eva closed the door on the closet before emerging in her wedding dress.

"So...?" Eva asked. Dewey took awhile to observe it.

It was a simple white dress, but it had a simple ebb and flow to it so it framed her quite well. It had a gold trim of flowers at the bottom and she wore white sandals on her feet.

"Where's the veil?" Dewey asked.

"Oh shoot, is that supposed to be soon?" Eva spun around to go look in the closet again.

"Well you got a little while. I'd relax a bit. Maybe even style your hair maybe just a little bit differently than 'i just woke up and brushed it for two seconds before letting it flop' Eva?" He smirked.

"You are a pain in the butt," she snorted.

"I know," he agreed. Eva sighed.

"I guess i am kinda rushing this," she came back out and flopped on her bed.

"Yeah... you don't even have to be dressed until after the bathing ceremony," he said. Eva threw a pillow at him.

"I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to get a good look at you in the dress. Im sure your veil will actually be done in time. C'mon. Let's get you in your robes," he helped her off.

"I still hate you though," she stuck her tongue out.

"Yeah, yeah. Love ya too. C'mon."

.o0o.

Lena paced the hall of the temple anxiously, twisting and knotting the loose sleeves on her dress as she paced. Louie sat behind on a couch, rubbing his forehead. He was getting tired of her anxiety.

"For the last time Lena, it'll be fine. Nothings gonna go wrong and if something does, me and cerberus are on it. You got nothing to worry about," Louie explained for what must've been the millionth time.

"I know you say that but you two weren't able to stop Mariella the last time. Who's to say time would be any different?" Lena said.

"Lena, you're stressing yourself out. Relax," he rubbed his forehead.

"You say that like it's easy," she huffed.

"You'll mess up your hair with that pacing," Louie added. She shot him a look.

"Watch it there, I'm still your boss and can still fire you Llewellyn," she threatened.

"You won't. How you sit down until Violet tells us it's time? Maybe have some of that tea stuff you like?" Louie suggested. Lena hesitated, but ultimately obeyed and say down beside him.

"You think it's too weird my dress and veil are black?" She asked.

"It suits you much better than white," he reassured.

"But what if she doesn't like the new haircut?" Lena summoned a mirror and checked her hair once more.

"Lena, i barely cut an inch, just like you asked. Calm down," Louie waved his hand and the mirror disappeared.

"What if she looks nothing like herself at all after this haircut? What if its terrible and it makes me no longer love her?" She asked in earnest.

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard," Louie shook his head.

"Yeah, you're right about that," she scratched the back of her neck.

"You two love each other so it's gonna be fine. Just relax," Louie look a deep breath in and out and Lena copied his motion, which was very effective in calming her nerves.

"I'm just worried she'll show up and take her back, you know?" Lena rubbed her arms.

"Trust me. We won't let that happen," Louie put his hand on her shoulder. Lena looked at it, then back to him. It wasn't normal for him to touch others. He let go.

"Sorry, I-i uh..." he tried to bury himself in his hood, but Lena stopped him.

"No, it's okay. I appreciated it Llewel- Louie," Lena smiled crookedly. He tried to hide a smile of his own.

"Thanks Boss,"

A knock at the door snapped them out of the moment.

"Lena?" Violet popped her head in.

"Yeah?" She stood up.

"We're ready."

.o0o.

The wedding ceremony itself was short but nothing short of beautiful. Lena was first to come down the aisle, and she had to hold back laughter as she saw her younger sister at the head of the aisle with eyes full of tears and about to cry, but she quickly understood what she was feeling when she saw Eva.

Even with a black veil covering Lena's face and a white one covering Eva she could tell she looked nothing short of radiant. Even her now shortened hair seemed to be radiating with beauty. It made Lena tear up a bit too.

Eva first removed Lena's veil, then Lena to Eva's and for awhile they stared into each others eyes while Webby was talking about something they probably should've been paying attention to. Then Louie whistled and Cerberus came scampering down the isle with the pillow with the rings on it (a collective 'awwww' flowing through the crowd as he came down). Lena put on Eva's ring and Eva put on Lena's. Webby said a few more words before Webby said the magical words.

"Now, by the power invested in me by me, I now declare you wives. You may now kiss the bride," Webby stepped back as Lena took Eva and dipped her. The crowd cheered as the couple stood back up again.

"We’re married! We’re actually married now. I get to call you my wife forever!" Eva beamed.

"Lucky me," Lena kissed her again and the crowd of gods clapped again. After that, Lena and Eva grabbed hands and ran down the hall together.

"Wait Lena, the dinning hall is the other way," Eva noticed her wife was pulling her another direction.

"Who says we can't have a little privacy after just being married, hm?" Lena smirked.

"Oh you are naughty!" Eva laughed.

"Do you want to?" Lena asked.

"Whatever you say, my lovely wife," Eva grinned.

"Whatever you say, my queen."

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8