#celebrate your autistic self

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Celebrate your Autistic Self Because…

Celebrate your autistic self because...

... you are wonderful just the way you are.

... you are incredibly sensitive to the sensory beauty of the world

…the smallest details that others miss, are like shiny little stars for you

... your passions and creative approaches create a wonderland in your head

... your unique love languages shows a whole new world to your loved ones

…you know what it is like to be different, and you are compassionate to others

…you are you and that is more than enough.

so today …

...just do a little something to celebrate yourself.

Something that fills your heart with pure joy or comforts you if you have a bad day:

Whether it is your favourite fidget toy/ stim/ special interest activity/ comfort food/TV show/song, or simply hugging a plushie and covering yourself with a blanket, just do it and then take a little time to think about how a beautiful person you are!

Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place

[winndycakes]

Winndy Rambles And Gushes About Chuck Tingle

Wanted to ramble a little about one of my favorite authors, creators and overall just super rad people; Chuck Tingle.

Like many people, when I first heard of Chuck, I took him as some sort of meme. A troll, a joke, someone not to be taken seriously. After all, the majority of his works are "silly short erotica stories around dinosaurs, cryptids and even living concepts and items". How COULD this be serious? It's a question I asked before, years ago, and one that many still do to this day.

One holiday season, a friend had made a post on FaceBook saying "first five people to comment I'll gift you a book". So I did. The book I got was a physical copy of the "Space Raptor Butt Invasion Trilogy" by Chuck Tingle. Since I had a book of Tingle's now, I really had no excuse to not read it for myself.

Erotica normally isn't my thing (I'm pretty ace and grey aro too), but very quickly, I was charmed by the prose. As you read Chuck's stories, there's a fact that becomes very apparent. Chuck Tingle is a great writer, a really great writer. How he writes, how the words flow together, one sentence going into the next. The characters, the plot, the little bits of lore, dialogue and all he puts in... You quickly begin to see; this is NOT a joke.

It is not a meme. He is not trolling you. It is art. Passionate, sincere, genuine art. And it's beautiful. The more you read, the more definitive it gets.

I will admit, I have read aloud many a Tingler for friends and others in Discord servers, both to share my joy of Tingle with others, but also, it is fun to look at how different his works are. It's fine to laugh along with them even.

The moment that really was like... angels singing, light shining down and there's bishi sparkles and a heavenly soft pink background appearing for me though was the summer Chuck Tingle released on of his first full novella's; "Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus". Like many, I was crushed and gutted at JKR's extreme turn to committing to transphobia (and of course the hindsight of realizing... the HP books and universe were not as kind and welcoming as I remembered growing up). So when Chuck Tingle (in one weekend mind you) came out with a 50k novel affirming trans people and their belonging in not just queer spaces, but being on this Earth, as fellow human beings, it was... affirming. It was the welcoming feeling I had gotten with the original HP books all those years ago, but it was real. (Also please read both Trans Wizard Harriet Porber books. They're delightful, fun and the magic system Tingle creates is so, so cool and interesting).

The next thing that got me just mega hype for Tingle was his first foray into horror; "Straight". "Straight" is Tingle's answer to the ever popular trope and genre of zombies and the apocalypse that comes with them, and what a fun turn of tables he takes on them. Zombies in the Tingleverse are not undead beings, they're not humans afflicted by a virus, instead a strange cosmic event happens once a year, when one night, all cishet people on Earth get this animalistic, violent urge to brutally harm and even kill all queer people. I won't get too spoilery about it but it is a very fun romp, and as someone who has been fatigued by zombies, it is a welcome new perspective.

Not long after this, Chuck came out with two full, traditionally published horror novels; "Camp Damascus" and "Bury Your Gays". Both are very different experiences in horror, both a joyful celebration of being queer and your authentic self even in the face of those looking to silence you, permanently if they must. I had the pleasure of meeting Chuck (twice!) while he was on tour for both of these books, getting my copies signed (along with my copies of the Trans Wizard duology and my beloved copy of the Space Raptor trilogy) and was able to tell Tingle myself just how important he is to someone like me; another queer autistic creator. (I was also one of the few people to win the little mini games he gave, twice, but that's a different story).

Ultimately that is what I am trying to get at. Growing up, and even for all of my 20s, there wasn't really someone like Tingle. Someone unabashedly authentic, themselves, queer, open and imo most importantly, joyously so. One is often told "just be yourself" but that can be hard to do when it seems like the world is against you for one reason or another.

Seeing a creator like Chuck shows how important it is to have such a presence in the world, and I was glad I got to tell him myself. I've had a lot of hardships in life, a lot of losses, a lot of grief, but someone like Chuck is there to tell you to keep trotting and remind you; Love Is Real.

And that's truly the ending message:

Love Is Real.

[drchucktingle]

GREETINGS BUCKAROOS as you may have heard CAMP DAMASCUS is nominated for a bram stoker award this year. this is biggest literary award in horror and i am so deeply moved by this recognition. thank you horror writers association you have proven so much love to me. i feel especially moved as an autistic buckaroo writing an explicitly autistic lead character

when things like this happen there is suddenly a LOT of attention on authors and books and that is so wonderful. as you know i am always looking for ways to PROVE LOVE IS REAL and DIRECTING this kind of attention towards good causes can often be a powerful maneuver

with that in mind i have written a new 'no sex' tingler, NOT POUNDED BY MY HANDSOME SENTIENT STOKER AWARD NOMINATION FOR CAMP DAMASCUS BECAUSE THE TWO OF US ARE TOO BUSY CELEBRATING THE FACT THAT A STORY WITH AN AUTISTIC LEAD CHARACTER BY AN AUTISTIC AUTHOR MADE THE SHORTLIST FOR A MAJOR LITERARY AWARD AND NOW WE’RE DONATING SOME MONEY TO AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCACY NETWORK.

instead of hosting on amazon, this tingler is FREE to read and download on chucks patreon, with a suggested donation of 3 dollars to AUTISTIC SELF ADVOCACY NETWORK, a fantastic organization that works to help autistic buckaroos, and to support the wide, unique range of this experience. i have chosen three dollars because that is what i usually sell tinglers for, but you can donate as much or as little as you like. if you cannot afford donation at this time that is just fine bud, enjoy this book on me

thank you so much for trotting along on this journey, we have come so far together and i am overwhelmed with gratitude for the buckaroo community, for each and every one of your own unique ways that create this beautiful whole. step by step we are SHAPING AND BENDING the timeline towards love TOGETHER, and there is no sign of slowing down.

so enjoy this tingler, donate if you can, and thank you again to horror writers association for this incredible honor. LOVE IS REAL LETS HECKIN TROT

----

When the Stoker Award nominations are announced, Chuck Tingle’s feelings are complicated. He’s honored and thankful to be considered for such a prestigious award, with all this new attention comes new forms of anxiety. In Chuck’s case, that means a whole team of paparazzi dinosaurs kicking down his door and flying through his windows.

Now Chuck’s on the run, but a chance encounter with a horror legend helps Chuck realize that it’s okay to be himself despite all this newfound pressure. Being himself is exactly what got him here in the first place.

This important tale is 4,000 words of sexless love and appreciation between Chuck Tingle and his kind and generous Stoker Award nomination.

----

READ THE TINGLER HERE

[the-irreverend]

The Inferno Theory: The Chara Theory to End All Chara Theories

Here we are! Nine years of Undertale. And seeing how Chara is heavily associated with the number 9 (AND THAT TOBY FOX FINALLY TALKED ABOUT THEM), I can't think of a better way to celebrate the occasion than by dedicating this 5000-word-long theory about them? Y'all remember when people used to make long-ass theories about Chara? Yeah, they're coming back with a vengeance! To say I have a colossal hyperfixation is a massive understatement. No character in all of fiction has had a bigger impact on my life than this little rose-cheeked, cocoa-addicted freak. I’ve been a Chara fan for as long as I’ve been an Undertale fan, and you can bet that my understanding of them has changed a lot since. And now I have the pleasure of sharing said understandings with y’all!

Once upon a time, there was an aroace autistic who, like most of y’all, had a very unhealthy obsession with Undertale. And unlike most of you, he thought the Genocide Route was really fun. Most fans talk about how unhappy they felt killing everyone, but for me, I felt like a polar bear at a baby harp seal convention. I got a disturbing level of happiness out of turning everyone to dust. Hell, the only unhappiness I felt was when I couldn’t turn Monster Kid to dust.

Oh well, at least I got a good consolation prize!

I was one sadistic son of a gun, and so I was even more delighted to find out I had a secret admirer/partner-in-crime and that they joined in on the fun because I was such a goshdarn inspiration to them. Not wishing to disappoint my self-appointed partner, I erased the world without a second thought, eagerly awaiting what we might get to do together.

So you can guess I was pretty taken aback when, instead of a warm welcome, they started lecturing me about how I couldn’t accept the world’s destruction and that I was the one fully responsible for it (even though they were eager to take credit for it earlier). I didn’t think much of it at first. Initially, I just thought that they were just irritated that I was undoing what we had worked so hard to accomplish.

But as this game taught me time after time, you should never trust your first impressions. Those first impressions would crumble to dust when they said this.

To say I was completely baffled is an understatement. Why the hell would this prepubescent genocidal maniac be so obsessed over whether or not I think I’m above consequences? So obsessed to the point they would tell me to go to hell if I told them no? It was at that moment I realized there was something more to this character than meets the eye. But for a long time, I couldn’t seem to figure out what that something was. And it didn’t seem like anyone could figure that out either.

I’m very much a veteran of the fan wars that have emerged surrounding Chara. In fact, one might even say I am a deserter of sorts, as I am a former member of the Chara Defence Squad, Offense Squad, and Neutralist Squad. But I’m not gonna be a stuck-up and say everyone’s a canon-ignoring idiot except for me and that I’m the only one who knows what Toby Fox intended Chara to be. Even though I ended up with a very different take than yours (and will certainly argue why it’s the best), I owe you all your discussions a huge debt, and I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gotten invested in your interpretations, to begin with. Not to mention that, contrary to what some may argue, you’ve made some valid points to complement them.

And while the debate that resulted from Chara’s ambiguous morality has led to a lot of controversy and even toxicity, it has also been a source of some FANTASTIC CONTENT. Like seriously, would we have gotten those badass renditions of Stronger Than You if no one thought Chara was an awful person? Would we have gotten Man on the Internet’s beautiful rendition of Star if no one thought Chara was a good person (turned awful)?

It would be utter hypocrisy for me to ask of you to approach me and my arguments (or anyone who accepts them) with understanding and good faith only to then not do the same to anyone who doesn’t agree with me. In this theory, I will definitely argue why some points made about Chara are flawed; points that you might hold yourself. But that doesn’t automatically mean that you (or your takes) are intellectually or morally inferior to mine. And besides, I’m not Toby Fox.

So with that said, why did I eventually came to disagree with pretty much everyone about Chara? Because, one way or another, I couldn’t find a take that clicked with me personally as I felt there were various inconsistencies and issues holding them back. I looked at YouTube videos, subreddits, Tumblr essays, Twitter threads, and even forums on the Steam Community. But I couldn’t really find what I thought were satisfactory answers to the questions I had about Chara’s motivations, role in the game, and relationship with the player.

And then, one day, I found those answers. It all happened when I asked myself: “What if Chara didn’t turn against me… because they were always against me from the start?!”

I don’t mean that Chara only saw you as a means to an end. I mean that YOU were the end. What if Chara didn’t use you so they could screw over the monsters but they used the monsters so they could screw over YOU.

You probably think I’m insane, don’t you? And you’re right! I AM INSANE! AND SO IS THIS WHOLE DAMN THEORY!!! But somehow, someway, it just works!! And I’ll show you why and how!!!

What you are about to read is the culmination of six years of reading and critiquing Chara takes and theories of every kind and quality, whether it be Judgement Boy’s Who is the Real Villain of Undertale to Wandydoodles’ Oblivion Theory. Six years of examining the arguments and counterarguments of Chara defenders, offenders, and neutralists alike. Six years of looking in every corner of the UTDR fandom. From the tranquil lands of Quora. To the dark recesses of Reddit. To the intellectual wastelands of Twitter. To the fiery hellsite of Tumblr. So, without further ado, get ready for some of the most pure, unadulterated, high-octane, universe-collapsing neurodivergence you’ve ever seen in your life!!!!!

Part 1: The demonic heritage of the "demon who comes when people call its name".

Have you ever had one of those moments where you’ve asked yourself, “What the actual hell is this guy talking about?” I bet you’re having that moment right now. Everything about their character post-death, including their motives, their methods, and their relationship with you, is perfectly reflected in one of their most famous (or rather infamous) lines:

When most people hear the word demon, the first thing that comes to mind is a being made of pure evil whose only purpose in life is to destroy all things good in the world. Right?

Well, yes, but actually, no. It’s a little more complicated than that. To argue that Chara is a demon because they’re simply “an evil little twerp that enjoys being evil” doesn’t do them or their role in Undertale justice (although that hasn’t stopped people from trying to argue that). To understand why calling themselves a demon is EXTREMELY important, we need to dive into the wonderful (and totally not controversial) world of religious beliefs!

In ancient and modern religions, demons are a little more complex than just ethereal jackasses with a vendetta against virtue and righteousness. Though they vary from faith to faith, most demons have a specific set of qualities and tropes that make them integral to whatever faith they’re in. You also see these demonic qualities in fiction that’s derived or inspired by religions, and since Undertale’s lore and worldbuilding have a heavy emphasis on the spiritual and divine, you can see them in Chara. Since Undertale is a game of “Western” origin, you can definitely see they share qualities that are all too familiar with devils of “Western” religions. In classic devil fashion, they target those with weak integrities or suspect morals; they tempt you with the promise of fulfilling your desires at your and everyone else’s expense; they’re able to control your body as you grow their power through your sins, and hell, they even do the thing where they make a deal for your soul. Also...

But though it's evident that Chara encourages you to do “evil,” THEY THEMSELVES are not responsible for it. Yes, Chara encouraged you to kill, but YOU are the one who acted on those encouragements. In fact, YOU are the one who encouraged THEM to help you out! They walked down the dark path with you, but you didn’t really give them anywhere else they could walk. You had all the power and every chance to turn back and no reason to keep walking. And yet you persisted.

But that does beg the question, why did you walk it at all? What could possibly inspire you to give all of these characters happiness, satisfaction, and peace and then rip it all away? Because you decided that giving everyone the most satisfying ending was not satisfying enough for you. Because there was more that you could experience for yourself, even if it meant making everyone else experience something absolutely horrific. It wasn’t enough for you to fill the glass only halfway. You needed to fill it to the brim. You wanted to reach the absolute. Even if doing the Genocide Run was a bad experience for you, you CANNOT deny it was a fulfilling one. And Chara knows it, too. It ain’t exactly a coincidence that fulfillment and fullness are recurring motifs in Chara’s character.

Like all demons, Chara is able to tempt the wicked and sinful by targeting our greatest weaknesses and deficiencies. It’s no different from how Succubi and Incubi target those who succumb to the sin of lust. That’s why you won’t go after my aroace ass anytime soon. But I digress.

But Chara doesn't just tempt us by exploiting our need to fill the glass to the brim but also because of how they exploit the satisfaction we get from watching it fill up, that is to say, the satisfaction that comes from trying to achieve fulfillment.

We humans are addicted to progression as much as we are to completion, and in an RPG like Undertale, the satisfaction of progression comes in the form of NUMBERS. Not just the numbers that flash on the screen when you battle enemies but also the ones that go up when you finish said enemies off, whether it be your hit points, experience points, and so on. And Undertale isn’t any ordinary RPG; it’s one where its RPG elements are interwoven into the fabric of the game’s universe. Because of that, Chara is able to use these elements in their world to influence those outside of it.

But Chara does not just influence us through the numbers that increase but also the ones that decrease. That’s why the first thing they do when we reach Snowdin is give us a tally. 

It’s not just there to measure progress. It’s also there to incentivize us to keep progressing. It gives us a small dose of satisfaction that’s enough to distract us from the mundanity and misery of the murder run, like a loading bar on a loading screen. And just like with loading screens, the farther it progresses, the harder it gets to turn away. Why would you want all the lives you’ve taken and the stats you’ve gained to amount to nothing? Why would you want to hit reset and go through those brutal fights with Sans and Undyne again? You can’t empty out the glass, not when you’re that much closer to filling it to the brim. Speaking of Sans and Undyne, it’s quite interesting that even though they barely know you, they know exactly why you won’t take your foot off the pedal, so to speak.

But that’s not the only thing driving you, isn’t it? Chara knows that there was something else that was spurning you along. Something more powerful and more dangerous than your addiction to progression and completion: PRIDE. 

Perhaps the real reason you kept giving in to sin until it was far too late was because you didn’t think it would be too late. You didn’t hold back because you thought you would be able to go back. You thought you could just absolve your sins with the press of a button like you did in countless worlds before. You thought you could dive in, touch the bottom, and come back out of the water. But what were you getting into? How deep would you have gone? And would you have gone in if you knew you couldn’t possibly return? You know you wouldn’t. And Chara knows it, too. That brings us back to the dialogue I showed you at the beginning of this theory. The one said changed everything I knew about this character, and I firmly believe that this is the MOST important line of dialogue in the entire franchise.

PART 2: THE PART WHERE I (PRETEND TO) DESTROY 9 YEARS OF ESTABLISHED FANON!

When I say that that little blurb about being above consequences is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, I do not say that lightly. It isn’t just important to Chara's character, but the game of Undertale as a whole! Anyone who’s serious about Chara’s character should never take this for granted because Chara sure as hell does not.

It’s not just our refusal to accept the world’s destruction that’s a huge-ass deal to Chara; it’s the arrogance and complacency that accompanies it, rooted in the position and privileges we have as the player. It matters to them so much that they’re willing to completely forgo bartering for our soul (which they say they want) if we don’t admit that we have that belief!

And yet, despite Chara taking this subject so seriously, the people who are analyzing their character ironically don’t. Generally speaking, most people simply brush this line off as nothing more than something they do to help them on their quest to achieve their goals. So, with that said, let’s talk about what those supposed goals actually are.

In all my years of reading and assessing countless Chara theories and interpretations, I’ve discovered that everyone actually agrees on what Chara's goals are. They just can’t agree on why they want them. Said goals are A) reach the absolute, B) max out their numbers/power, C) erase the world, and/or D) eradicate all monsters. But what if it’s actually the other way around? What if those things were the means to an end rather than the ends themselves?

What if the true goal of the “demon who comes when people call its name” was just like that of the demons of old: not to be your partner in crime, but to torment and punish you for your crimes? To make you face CONSEQUENCES!

I’m not making this argument simply because it makes Chara look more badass (though I think it totally does, lol). I firmly believe that Undertale’s post-Genocide content is written so that Chara’s character can only make sense if that was Chara’s goal from start to finish. Because if Chara’s endgame was any of those four I mentioned earlier, their character kinda falls apart because they're awfully inconsistent about fulfilling them. And those inconsistencies are evident in the Second Geno Ending.

Discrepancy 1) They say they will “appear time and time again” to help us “eradicate the enemy and become strong,” and yet they call us perverted for eradicating everyone time and time again.

You can argue that they didn’t want us to recreate the world in the first place and just move on to another world, but if so, why let us come back at all? And if it’s to get our soul, why do they keep around this world after we have it? This leads us to...

Discrepancy 2) They tell us to ERASE the world and move on to the next, and yet they allow us to restore it without a hitch after we give them our SOUL, seeing how there’s no black void when we start the game again.

If Chara was powerless to stop us from coming back, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. But they CLEARLY DEMONSTRATE that they’re able to stop the player from restoring the world, as seen in the first post-genocide ending. And yet they don’t use this power after the first time the world is erased (WHICH YOU WOULD THINK THEY WOULD WANT TO USE SINCE THEY WANT TO ERASE THE WORLD AND MOVE ON TO ANOTHER)! Seeing how the world is back again without us doing anything makes the restoration of the world like something that Chara CHOSE ON THEIR OWN VOLITION. And what makes this all the more damning is...

Discrepancy 3) They tell us they’re down bad for increasing our ATK, DEF, EXP, and LV to the max and erasing the world and everyone in it, and yet they TELL US TO DEVIATE FROM THE ONLY ROUTE THAT ACCOMPLISHES THAT (which, as stated before, they call us perverse for doing it again).

So, let me get something straight. You tell us you want to ”eradicate the enemy” and “ erase this pointless world,” and yet not only are you allowing us to undo all of that, you want us to do something INSTEAD OF THAT??? It’s funny how you lecture us about how we cannot accept the world’s destruction BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, YOU WON’T EITHER!!!!! Also, before I forget...

Discrepancy 4)

WHAT KIND OF MISANTHROPE DEDICATES THEIR WHOLE LIFE TO WIPING OUT HUMANITY, GETS GIFT-WRAPPED A CHANCE TO DO THAT, AND THEN JUST PASSES IT UP?!?!?!

On behalf of misanthropes everywhere, I am DEEPLY disappointed in you!

So it doesn’t matter if you believe Chara is always evil, good, or detached from morality entirely. Because Chara has the same goal across all versions, they all succumb to the same inconsistencies!

Funny how most people see them as this embodiment of the addictive nature of levelling up and consuming everything in a piece of media and all that jazz WHEN THEY SEEM TO CASUALLY GIVE UP ON IT!!!!!!

And if you argue they want a Soulless Pacifist Run when they suggest “another path,” then ask yourself, what does that give them that a Genocide Run doesn’t? Keep in mind, aside from a scribbled-out photograph, we don’t see how many monsters or humans they killed besides the main characters or how much power and stats they gained from it. And it’s not like we see them erase the world afterward since only the genocide run has that infamous wall of red 9s. Not to mention, the genocide run is the most secure way of accomplishing their goals since they have the backing of the player. Not only that, but it’s also the safest and most efficient way to erase everyone and increase stats to the fullest, and we all know how Chara feels about efficiency.

So Chara has no reason to pick the Soulless pacifist ending over the Genocide Run if they want to achieve their end of increasing numbers and consuming the world… unless those things were a means to an end rather than ends themselves.

Indeed it is coming together! That’s the other reason their statement, “You think you’re above consequences,” is so damn important! They’re not telling us why we sinned, but it reveals they intend to make us suffer for those sins, and how.

That’s why Chara is seemingly so inconsistent about erasing the world. Because it was never about the world. It was all about YOU.

[SIDE NOTE: I’m sure many of you will point out that if Chara wanted us to get a Soulless ending in this world, then why would they encourage us to “move on to the next?” I don’t think this is too big an issue for two reasons. First, this line is meant to emphasize that, like all demons, Chara is inescapable and that no matter what world you go to (within their own universe), Chara will always follow you now that you’ve unleashed them. Second, because their goal concerns us and not the world they’re a part of, their character avoids the aforementioned inconsistencies that hamper the other Chara theories much more severely, in my opinion.]

Part 3: Contrapasso

Now I’m sure some of y’all might think that Chara doesn’t need to yearn for our torment to achieve the impact of the Soulless ending and that just because Chara is a demon doesn’t automatically mean they need to screw us over. You are right in that not everyone who makes a Faustian Bargain needs to have malicious intentions toward the people they’re taking advantage of (Kuybey from Madoka Magica is a great example of that). But Chara does need it! Not only does it make their character more narratively cohesive, but also makes their character more thematically impactful. And it’s more in tune with their demonic nature for them to want to torment us.

Because demons represent something more terrifying than evil itself. They represent the terrible price of embracing it, a price that all evildoers fear more than anything, and that all demons want seek to inflict upon us. Like most demons, Chara isn’t encouraging us to sin to fill the emptiness in our soul (or even their own). They did it to perpetuate that torturously empty and unfulfilled state for all eternity, a state which even themselves now endure.

Now, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve talked a lot about the themes of fulfillment and emptiness, and it’s for a good reason since those themes are heavily featured in Undertale. I mean, how could it not? Because concepts of demons, hell, and sins (which are explicitly mentioned in the game) are deeply intertwined with the concept of emptiness. The theologian Thomas Aquinas once defined evil as not a presence but as an absence (of that which is good). Darkness is the absence of light; war is the absence of peace; bigotry is the absence of tolerance; pride is the absence of humility, etc. You see this reflected in not just Christian theology but also fiction as a whole, as a lot of villains are motivated by a desire to obtain something that they believe can’t be without. Whether it be wealth, status, recognition, power, the death of an individual, or even just sadistic pleasure.

Since demons are beings that are inseparable from evil itself, the life of a demon is forever cursed by unceasing and unbearable emptiness. Hell, the word damnation originated from the Latin word damnum, which literally means loss! They’re not exactly partying in hell while your immortal soul is being slow-roasted for eternity. They’re burning in that lake of fire and brimstone along with you! They can’t end their damnation, not because they don’t want to but because they simply can’t. They’re fated to be bereft of the satisfaction or fulfillment found in Heaven or Earth, a fate that is worse than death in every sense of the word, especially since they can’t experience death anymore. Because of that, a demon embodies what is perhaps the most terrifying form of evil of all: not one rooted in a desire to rid the emptiness and unfulfillment within themselves, but a desire to inflict them upon others. Because as a wise philosopher once said:

We see this horrific state of mutually assured suffering everywhere across fiction. From goofy, lighthearted tokusatsu's...

...to nightmarish sci-fi dystopias...

...to a little indie game made 9 years ago.

Oh yeah. Don’t think I was gonna talk about emptiness without mentioning everyone’s favourite homicidal fauna-turned-flora, especially not with lines like this.

Take one to know one! And it can’t be a coincidence that the game emphasizes the theme of emptiness when giving the spotlight to the three characters that have committed the most “evil”: Flowey/Asriel, Chara, and YOU.

Quite the unholy trinity going on here, eh? It truly is fascinating how the emptiness led us to work with each other to exterminate all monsters. And it’s also interesting how the unique kind of emptiness we have eventually led us to work against each other. Whether it be Flowey wishing to preserve his sentimentality for his long-gone sibling, us players wanting to maintain our (perverted) sentimentality for the world of Undertale, or Chara weaponizing these sentimentalities to exact their misanthropic hatred.

Remember how I said that Chara was a lousy misanthrope because they keep letting us bring back the humans they wanted annihilated when they were alive? That does make them a lousy misanthrope… unless their misanthropy found a higher priority target: YOU!!!!! Chara’s desire to torment us didn’t come out of thin air. The same hatred that drove them to wipe out the humans of their world years ago is the same hatred that’s driving them to get at the humans of our world, even if it means destroying those who once embraced them. And now, that hatred is more potent and destructive than ever before, so much so that it’s no wonder Toriel was able to feel it when she endured that fatal blow after the Geno Run began.

Do you think witnessing what soullessness did to sweet little Asriel wasn’t already terrifying and tragic enough? Just try to imagine what it could‘ve done to a vengeful, traumatized, chocolate-addicted problem child so consumed by hatred that they poisoned themselves just for a chance to wipe out their own kind. All of that hatred of humanity is still alive and well, and now it has no humanity to hold it back. 

And what could be a more fitting target for a MISANTHROPE that calls themselves a DEMON… than a HUMAN that wants to play GOD?

After all, the only thing demons love more than tormenting mortals is warring with Gods.

Why else do you think that Chara winks right at you if we make Frisk stay with Toriel? Because that’s who the Soulless Ending was meant for. It’s when they’re finally able to unleash all that animosity and hatred that’s been lurking behind that smile ever since we killed everyone in the Ruins. It’s the moment that they’ve been patiently waiting for because they knew that’s when it would hit you the hardest.

And what makes the Soulless Pacifist Ending very special compared to other “bad endings” isn’t simply because they destroy those we pretend to care about (may I remind you that you did do the genocide run, after all). But they destroy something much more valuable to us as the players: OUR OMNIPOTENCE. Chara doesn’t destroy people for the sake of destroying them. But because in doing so they destroy our arrogant belief that nothing could possibly challenge the invisibility and invulnerability we players take for granted.

It's all too human that those with the most power are the least willing to lose it (or even take responsibility for it). And in a world where we should have absolute power, we thought there would be no consequences for abusing it. So what could be a more fitting and frightful punishment than having to actually face them? Missing out on the best ending in a video game is one thing. But to forever lose the power to achieve it ever again?! Now that’s terrifying!

Throughout myth, legend, and religion, sinners are often punished in a way befitting of the sin they’ve committed. In Greek Mythology, Tantalus was damned for trying to feed the Gods the flesh of his murdered son with eternal hunger and thirst despite being within arm’s reach of water and food. In Dante’s Inferno, those who succumb to wrath are forever doomed to fight each other in a river of mud. And since Undertale is no stranger to concepts such as hell, sins, and demons, you can damn well be sure that there’s going to be damnation fitting for the sins that drove you to complete the genocide run.

You completed the Genocide Run because you believed ending their lives would be fulfilling. Now, you can no longer get any fulfillment out of saving their lives.

I mean, where else can you get your precious fulfillment? Those paltry neutral endings? They only offer a fraction of what the pacifist ending offered. And the genocide ending has been drained of its satisfaction like the pacifist! Would you do all that tedious grinding and brutal boss fights just to hear your so-called “partner” lecture you again on perverted sentimentality and say you should choose another path, even though there’s nothing that they could offer? Of course not. In the end, you’re just like poor Tantalus agonizing in the pits of Tartarus, feeling the water vanish from his hands just before it touches his lips.

The ultimate triumph of Chara isn’t making you suffer a total defeat, but perhaps something much worse to you as a gamer: a pyrrhic victory. It’s like having a Twinkie that's been drained of the creamy center. Everything is still there except the thing you treasure most. You’re damned to play a challenge forever deprived of any and all fulfillment you once got from it, a satisfying journey that will always be doomed to reach a dissatisfying destination.

In the end, Chara leaves you with the world exactly as they described it the first time they met you face-to-face: POINTLESS.

You can have the world exactly as it was before (and the people within it). But in the end, Chara will always have the last laugh.

Figuratively and literally.

Welcome to hell!

Part 4: Why Consequences Matter

Woooooo!!! Man, that was quite the read, wasn’t it? And yeah, I wasn't kidding when I said this is going to be autistic as all hell! I don’t doubt you have a lot of thoughts in your mind, and then you’re gonna share them by the time you’re finished reading this post. Some of you might think this is the Chara theory to end Chara theories. Some of you believe that this is the worst thing that has happened to this fandom since Sebastian Wolff. Some of y’all, I’m whitewashing them because I argue they’re driven by a desire to punish the wicked by any means necessary. Some will think I’m demonizing them because I say that they’re, well, a demon. 

[SIDE NOTE: Just so I don’t miscommunicate what I believe about Chara’s morality, here are some key points to take away from this theory. A) Chara sought to make you pay for the evil you committed. In fact, the idea that the Soulless Ending is Chara punishing our sins has been around for a while, especially by those who think Chara was “corrupted. B) However, in this theory, Chara's actions are all done with the intent of accomplishing that goal. This means that Chara was aware of what they were doing, they wanted to do it, and that THEY KNEW IT WAS EVIL. C) But you still have to remember that Chara is also A LITERAL CHILD. And D) They’re a child who endured a great deal of hardship (and possibly trauma), which made them so embittered and vengeful. Also, E) Remember that they’re also soulless, just like Asriel when he was Flowey.]

But I think most of you were gonna look at this interpretation of Chara and feel the same thing that I have about most of yours: a take that’s not without issues, but not without a fair bit of interesting points.

But regardless of what you think of this theory overall, there’s one thing I won’t leave up for debate: I deeply treasure Chara’s character. Not just because I think they’re fun, cool, or interesting but also because I firmly believe they’re invaluable Undertale. And yet, at the same time, I think they’re severely undervalued by the fandom. And who can blame them?

The characters of Undertale speak very little of Chara, and Chara speaks for themselves even less. But just like Johan Liebert from the anime Monster, even though they’re not seen too often, they still manage to exert a massive presence and impact within Undertale’s narrative. And that presence is made all the more impactful because they perfectly represent the themes of the narrative: and that theme is CONSEQUENCES, or more accurately, the CONSEQUENCES OF VIOLENCE.

From the violence that drove Chara to climb Mt Ebott to the violence their brother Asriel inflicted in hopes of being with them forever. From something as grand as a war between two civilizations to something as small as dismembering a snowman. Everywhere you look, you will see that violence (and its repercussions) haunts the story and characters of Undertale. But what makes Undertale stand out from other media that tackles this subject is that it’s not just an integral part of its narrative but also its metanarrative. The most ingenious way it does this is by giving meaning to the actions/mechanics that we take for granted, specifically monster encounters.

Our Lord and Saviour Toby Fox said it best:

Because the monsters of Undetale are treated as something more than just enemies to be killed, there are going to be consequences for choosing to kill them away. Some argue that it goes too far in how it admonishes you for killing even a single monster, even to the point of being preachy (I’m looking at you, ScottFalco, but that’s a response for another day).

That argument is deeply flawed because it fails to account for the fact that without these ramifications, the game’s themes would be rendered null and void. The last thing that a game with a narrative centred around the consequences of violence can afford to do is afford you the luxury of avoiding them. And that principle especially applies if you dare to choose nothing BUT violence. //////If you were to bring them all back as if nothing happened, then your decision to commit genocide would be completely meaningless, which would totally disservice Undertale themes regarding violence. There needs to be consequences. LASTING CONSEQUENCES. Undertale can’t drive home its messages and them without lasting consequences. Undertale can’t deliver those consequences without Chara in the driver’s seat. And Chara’s character can only be at their most narratively cohesive and thematically impactful if seeking to make us suffer consequences was their intended destination.

Regardless of whatever detail about Chara you’re discussing or what side of the discussion you’re on, one thing is very clear: they’re absolutely essential to Undertale in the same way that Mephistopheles is essential to Faust, the Cenobites are essential to Hellraiser, and Kuybey is essential to Madoka Magica. And they’re the only ones with the means, motives, and deep-seated misanthropy to hold this whole damn game together.

Sans is right. We deserve to be burning in hell for what we did to those poor monsters. And I can't think of anyone more qualified to have us humans “burning in hell” than a self-proclaimed demon with a seething hatred of humanity.

And how fitting is it that the skeleton who judges our sins is followed by a human child who punishes us for them?

BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY!

A CHARA THEORY!

THANKS FOR READING!

[power-handmaiden]

Day 302: Eaten Right By The Physical Manifestation Of My Pride And Excitement That The Lead Character Of My First Traditionally Published Horror Novel Is On The Autism Spectrum Just Like Me

First off, this is another tingler I can link you to! I wouldn't call it a "free" tingler like some others because Dr. Tingle is asking for a donation to the Autistic Self Advocacy Network on this one. (They're a great organization that does great work, you should follow the donation link if you're able!)

I want to first mention something Dr. Tingle says in his notes on this one, not something in the tingler itself: "most of the characters i write are probably a little on the spectrum because they are comin from inside chucks head."  So... having read almost every tingler up to the beginning of 2023 now, this is something I've thought about a lot but only remarked upon a couple times. It's something that becomes even clearer to me when we get an explicitly autistic tingler protagonist because, in the context of tinglers, she fits right in. She's a very normal protagonist. That isn't the vibe of  most autistic characters in most media, but in the Tingleverse, she's your regular relatable main character. Simply seeing how much she fits in reminds me just how neurodivergent the beautiful Tingleverse is.

(Maybe a neurotypical reader would find other tingler characters' autistic traits easier to see on their own, not by comparison like this, and also worth mentioning more often? I don't know. I don't know if there are even any neurotypical people out there reading this many tinglers. Don't ask me, I'm the guy who delights in updating their tingler spreadsheet.)

Anyway, it really complements the message of this tingler, the way the protagonist feels so right as a part of the Tingleverse. It's natural that she feels proud, despite all the anxieties she has over the publication of her novel. I'm glad Dr. Tingle captured this joyous moment, in this story that also makes readers who relate feel like we're taking part in the celebration, too.

[cosmic-spider]

Jax x ADHD/ Autistic fem reader

Ok let’s make this clear HE DID NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING YOU TOLD HIM THE FIRST TIME. Like he knows what it is but doesn’t fully understand it or how you are “different.”

If he pulls pranks on you thant then make you over stimulated or get a panic attack. He doesn’t automatically know what is going on with you? He thinks that you’re being shocked or you’re scared scared from the prank he pulled on you. 

He also thinks that your kind of going insane for a bit with the way you don’t respond for a good five to ten minutes at the lowest.

But with the adventures and many other pranks he pulls. He noticed that you kinda acted the same with all of them. Just like siting down and going on auto pilot and not really being in the moment.

As this keeps happening especially with when you put on noice canceling headphones. That Caine made specifically for you. Jax gets a bit confused but doesn’t look into it to much other than you not like I g the sound on things or loud noises.

But after they had you arrive le celebration.(Your birthday of when you arriving in the tadc. The way you got so over welded with the sounds and cheats from the others. Plus the confetti canons and a pie throw into your face.

You just stood there and trying to process what was happening around you. As you played with make shift bracelets that you made with Gangle then ran away to your room.

Jax just stud there confused on why you didn’t like the surprise party. As everyone else’s has a frown on sad looking eyes as some know or we’re told of you’re ADHD/ Autism. Them knowing or guessing how you would react the this idea of Jax’s idea

As a s/o

He slowly started to notice your ways of coupling. From jewelry playing. Wearing baggy clothes to not get over stimulated when in a adventure. To event just going silent from minutes to days at a time.

After you leave the surprise party Jax fallowed you to your room. Asking what was wrong or if you don’t like the surprise

. He was not making jobs or urging on a smile at all as the two of you talked. Since you are his S/O and he cares about you deeply even if he doesn’t show it correctly.

After you explained your ADHD/AUTISM better to him and how it affects the way you do or react to a few things.

After a better explanation on what you have Jax still didn’t fully understand everything but got the basics. And realized what he did wrong.

How some pranks were to loud or happens to fast for you to process what happened. Then you went into a panic attack/overstimulated to try and cope with what happened.

How the way you dressed and fidgeted with charms, bracelets, and necklaces to calm/ comfort your self.

After a bit of time he fully understands and is ok with doing things that will be ok with you. His pranks got a bit nicer to your likening so you don’t freak out and get street out.

He wont tell the others but the two of you mad a way to communicate if you do go silent for some time.

Like you pull on his overalls if your starting to get overwhelmed. Grab and squeeze his hand with both of yours if your getting uncomfortable with talking or in the clothes your in. Or hug his side if your getting a panic attack.

The moment you do that he makes up an excuse so the two of you can go away from the rest. He at her takes you to your own room where you have the things you might need. A weighted blanked, change of comfort clothes, fidget tots or you noice canceling head phones.

If this happens out in the middle of nowhere he will take you somewhere away from everyone. We’re it’s more quit and takes out some fidget toys and you head phones.

If your ok with it he will even let you sit in his lap as he has become your couch to rest on and calm down from what you had. As you hug and cuddle into him and rub your face into his chest furry for some nice sensory relief.

[ayrtonswnna]

ʚïɞ "OSCAR WINS!" OP81

↳ masterlist ↳ drop a request! ↳ more osc! <3

✧₊⁺ oscar piastri x renée smith (autistic!female oc)

✧₊⁺ summary: renée gets too overwhelmed at the abu dhabi gp; her boyfriend has to work it out.

✧₊⁺ warnings: overstimulated character, character pushing past her own boundaries, self-harming regulation methods, verbal stims, the ending could be a bit better.

✧₊⁺ a/n: i wrote a few autistic characters before but i am well aware this is not my ground to step in, have in mind that i am an educator, i study for that and have and had neurodivergent students, i took several classes and courses under the theme, a lot of researches and studies. i tried to portray renée as accurate as possible and took my time reading from neurodivergent people, but in case you know better, feel completely free to talk to me and let me know any possible mistake!

Oscar and Renée have been together for eleven months now; they're nearing their one-year anniversary. By this point, they have found their way around each other's routines and ways.

He understood her in ways few people did and as fast as he drives. Having a neurodivergent girlfriend brought a lot to the table for the sweetest boyfriend. He knew she wouldn’t mind the paddock if she could arrive early and miss the crowd, dodge the attention and hang out in the box, the papaya headphones wrapping her curls, and the fidgeting toy hanging between her fingers. It would work just fine.

They'd have lunch together, and she'd stay around with his sister, who was also very kind and made it easy to just be. But it's Abu Dhabi, it's the title race. Of course, the box would be heated, and of course, she had to keep it together. It was Oscar's moment; he worked towards that and deserved a perfect night.

So by the last lap, everyone is going crazy. The mechanics and engineers were all so happy and excited. She found it incredibly amazing how they were all just family and bouncy. But it could never be her. Even though she tried. The headphones couldn't keep out the noise, and the corner she found herself in started feeling only smaller and smaller.

As the noise in the paddock rose, Renée felt the familiar pressure building in her chest. The sounds were like an avalanche, each one crashing down and piling on top of the last. She squeezed her fidget toy, trying to focus on its texture, but the edges of her vision blurred. "Just a few more hours," she told herself, her mind racing to find an anchor in the chaos.

She just had to make it out alive and wait until it was time to go back to the hotel.

"Put on a shirt, Miss Piastri! It’s a world-champion’s environment!" one of the mechanics said, throwing a papaya piece of fabric she had to focus on to catch. He was just being nice, trying to include her in the celebration.

"Thanks," she tried, unfolding the shirt and cursing herself once she saw the tag in the back of the collar.

Alright, just a few more hours. So she put on the shirt, watching as the people got ready to welcome the drivers back in the box.

Oscar took longer to show up; it was a tough race. He was received in the crew's arms, and Renée just focused on the happy moment. He might be feeling so many things right now she couldn't just interrupt that. The thing is she also couldn't unravel her mind from the unsettling feeling, and the tag at the back of her neck kept tickling her skin.

"Heeey, baby! World champion, huh?" he said, approaching with open arms, a wide smile on his face as he put a cap on. "Look at you! All in papaya!"

She smiled through her thoughts, wrapping her arms around his waist before pecking his lips. But he noticed, he always did.

"Congratulations, baby. I knew you'd make it. Best in the world."

"Your words, not mine," he smiled, fixing the headphones over her head and touching the shirt so casually it felt natural. "Are you alright? It’s so noisy out here," he said nicely, while twirling the piece of harder fabric before pulling the tag off like it was a thin piece of paper.

"It's alright," Renée smiled again. "I am just happy. Really happy. I know how much you wanted this. How are you feeling?"

"So great! It’s better than I thought it would be; I can’t even describe." His bunny-teethed smile almost made her forget how overwhelming it all felt. "Really, really happy you're here with me; I don’t think I’d make it without you."

"Of course you would, you're Oscar Piastri! F3 and F2 back to back, McLaren driver. It's you," she shoved him softly, unconsciously flinching when she heard the team screaming over something.

"Love you."

"I love you too, baby. Are you sure you want to stay? I can dodge it for a bit if you want me to."

"No! No, it's ok. You're a world champ! You gotta celebrate."

"But I can always—"

"Oscar! You can celebrate with your girlfriend later! Pop more champagne, you know? Now come here!" Of course, Lando Norris.

A fun one.

"Go, baby. I'll be here, ok? It's your moment."

"Are you—"

"Yes! Yes, I am. Now go!"

"Alright, but if you need to… We can head off. Alright? Promise you're gonna tell me if anything happens. Please," he insisted, kissing her lips once again.

"Yes. Promise."

"Great. Love you, bub. I'll be back." One more kiss, and then he's off. And Renée can only hold herself together for the next few hours. The fidgeting toy couldn't handle the job anymore, and by the end of the night, her skin had bruises all over her hands from picking it between her fingers repeatedly for self-regulation.

At this point, she was already non-verbal, and the small cuts around her hands were being overcut. Oscar cursed himself once he saw his girlfriend sitting on one of the couches in the corner, the cold wind almost unnoticed by her numbed brain. Like she could just disassociate.

He knew she couldn't, though. He knew her mind was racing too fast, and they should've left hours ago.

"Hey, bub. Hey. Let's go, ok? I am taking you to the hotel, alright? Yes or no?"

Oscar could guess everything at this point; she probably wouldn't talk, but they worked just fine with yes or no questions and head nods. So she nodded her head yes, and he offered his hand, now noticing hers were just too busy.

"Baby, hey. It's alright. Let's just… Just leave. Do you want a paper sheet?"

He knew some alternatives for the self-harming stims; paper for her to rip into small pieces, a warm bag. He took his time finding out what worked better, and when she didn't react, he knew it had to go his way. She was not going to answer, and he wouldn't let her keep hurting herself. So he just wandered off to the engineering table and grabbed any sheet of paper, putting it in between her hands. A sigh of relief left his chest as she accepted the paper.

"Great, there you go, darling… You're doing great. Let's go? Take a shower?"

Now she nodded. Renée got to her feet, accepting being cooed until they were on their way to the car that awaited them, making him remember he had to deal with Lando, who was also going to take the ride.

"Lan, look. Renée isn't ok, I think she's overstimulated. Can you take another car? I need to take her back, and she needs to calm down," he said, making sure to let his teammate get close enough before talking.

"Oh—sure!" He glanced quickly and automatically at the girl, getting the situation right away. "It's just fine, I can go with Andrea or one of the guys. It's alright, go. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks, mate. You're the best."

"I know." He broke the ice his way around, stopping halfway to give them some space. "See you tomorrow!"

Oscar nodded before opening the car door, still cooing his girlfriend inside and exchanging a few words with the driver. The piece of paper was now shattered and missing parts, so he improvised with a bold one, his own hand. Renée was always cautious when he offered her that, not wanting to hurt her boyfriend.

So she just kept moving his fingertips up and down, looking out the window until they were at the hotel room.

Finally, there was silence. Oscar closed the windows and emptied the bed, knowing really well Renée would be lying on the floor as soon as he turned around.

"Doing great, bub. Really great. I'm taking your shoes off, ok?"

She nodded. Fingers still fighting between themselves, her mind just too clouded to process anything. Damn, it was Oscar's night; it was supposed to be his moment, and she felt like she ruined it all. Such a bother, an inconvenience.

Oscar would never think of it like that, though. He was just too focused on taking her shoes off and checking on her properly, just to make sure she was not hurting herself.

"Do you want to stay on the floor? It’s pretty chill, right?" His patience was always one of his best virtues. It’d allow her to get comfortable, and it’d be one less pressure.

"Yes," she managed to say, her boyfriend smiling softly as the word left her lips. "Oscar wins!"

Renée had some verbal stims; she made her way around them often, and Oscar could be surprised sometimes, once she saw a TikTok video about his contract story with Alpine and kept saying, "I understand that… Without my agreement…" every now and then.

But the "Oscar wins!" was the cutest; Oscar loved it.

"Yeah, sometimes he does." He chuckled. "Are we ok? Do you need something?"

"Hu-hum." She hiccupped. "Don’t want to bother."

"You never bother me, bub. Is there something I can do right now? Or do we like the floor?"

"We like it," she kept the few words dynamic. "And Oscar wins!"

"Oscar wins, yes." Again, he let out a soft chuckle, looking around for what to do next. "Can I take the headphones off? It’s quiet in here."

"Yes, it's fine." Renée did the job herself, taking the piece away and letting Oscar grab it. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Nothing to be sorry about, baby. We need to rest anyways." Oscar wanted to say he's the one who should be apologizing; he imagined she'd get overstimulated and overwhelmed inside the garage and still, he let her stay, trusting her words even knowing damn well she wouldn't want to interrupt his celebration.

So he just understood he had to try to make it up. Renée was all about space, he knew she'd come around for contact when she wanted to and it was just them on a regular basis. She loved cuddling, but Oscar would just wait until she approached by herself. Always making it clear when touching, always asking. The kindest of the kinds.

"Oscar wins!" she repeated, taking a bit of impulse until she could flip and lay on her belly, making a pillow with her arms. "You are amazing, Osc. I don't deserve you, you can't do all of that for me."

"Don't say that," he mouthed, keeping the tone serious but trying to be chill. "Don't say that, I love you and you deserve every care in the world. You deserve every bit of my time."

"Love you too," it was the first thing her mind caught. "Not every bit… Because Oscar wins! And I can't be with you inside the car."

"Yeah, bub. Unfortunately, you won't fit inside the car." He chuckled, laughing at how simple this talk could be. "But you fit right into my bed! Do you want to shower so we can sleep?"

"Yes, I think I have champagne on me. Can we have a cold shower?"

"You can have your cold shower and then I can take my warm one. No cold water for me." He kept the chill voice tone, giving himself the job to grab her clothes and towels. "Let's go, baby. We are exhausted."

"Because Oscar wins!" she stimmed her way around as she stood up.

The verbal stims are usually her least favorite ones, they were noisy and they caught more attention. But this one was just a way to let Osc know she was really happy about the world title. And he could get that pretty easily.

"Oscar and the team win," he laughed, waiting for her by the bathroom door. "Go for your cold shower, I'll keep you company."

"Yes. Osc, you're the best boyfriend."

"And you are the best girlfriend."

ʚïɞ ayrtonswnna, 2024. requests are open (: reblogs and feedback are always welcome (:

[thequeerwizardcouncil]

Transgender Visibility Day Two: Estrogenic Boobaloo

Alternatively,

Transgender Visibility Day Two: Testosteronic Dickaloo

It is now Transgender Visibility Day for the other half of the world!

Let us celebrate, but firstly before anything else. The council would like to give out a few statements.

While this is an amazing celebration of our resilience and continued resistance to transphobia, we mustn't forget

Our fallen, the many killed in hate unjustly. Nex Benedict being one of the most recent

Our fellow queer in Palestine, Sudan, the Congo, etc. We mustn't forget about their suffering whilst we celebrate here so freely. Though we should care about all of the people not just the queer and trans in those places being subjected to the most inhumane conditions by tyrants.

The many bills, laws, and legislation trying to be passed to further erase us. Especially the KOSA bill, and quite sadly in Florida recently having passed legislation to ban minors from social media as an attack on us to be put in to effect in 2025.

With all of those being said, we should all continue to fight for those causes, continue fighting censorship. Continue fighting genocide. Continue fighting slavery.

We ask you all to continue spreading the word of these causes, these evils that must be stopped. As the council is bound by metaphysical law, we may not exit this and help you in the way we wish.

Fight KOSA, and censorship

Fight for our fallen, whether it's the unjustly banned, those dead from self harm, or those murdered in cold blood

Fight for those still persisting, the ones showing a fervour of resistance to fight oppresors.

We draw our strength from solidarity, it is what has allowed us to continue. Let it be the reason we win this war.

Anyways, here is our second message to all Transgender beings out there:

You are valid, you know you best. And we mean it. We may be filled with wise wizards, but we know that only oneself knows itself best. You know your identity better than anyone. Even when it can feel like your body disagrees with your true self, or others don't see you for who you are.

Know that even with all the pain, the grief, the hate, we and many many others fight every second for you to be you. For you to be safe. For all of us to be ourselves.

And we will see that day come, and by that day we hope for all of us to have survived, to tell stories of our battles, to guide a new generation of queers.

We just ask you continue being you, and being safe, and you will see that day come we guarantee. Even if it doesn't seem like it.

This world is a dark room covered in oil, we are a small candle of hope. And when it seems too dark, our hope will light the room with a burning fervour. To free us from this room. To burn down our prison.

We love you and appreciate you for who you are, please continue as you're the only one of you.

"in the dark we endure, and in the light we fight for who you call impure"

happy transgender visibility day

- The Queer Wizard Council <3 <2

@skyethebisexualwolfwizard

@im-a-wizard-who-dont-crime

@thebutterflyoficeandwisteria

@bisexualchemistry

@sassy-piece-of-parsley

@flirtyambiguouswizard

@ballisticallytestedwensleydale

@the-moth-wizard-of-mayhem

@aroace-wizard

@serious-tabaxi

@agentldiddy

@parkyrtheelvishbard

@autistic-dinos-and-dragons-lover

@a-goose-in-a-trenchcoat

@sapphicdragons-3

@transgender-wizard

@jhomikle

@cynical-artificer

@anne-androgynous-android

@asheslab

@luminethefoxincabin13-ts

@incrediwizard

@amethyst-aster

@ash-the-tiefling

@shittest-wizard-ever

@bi-gender-sorcerer

@somecallmekay

@be-gentle-with-littluns

@ladyofspoons

@slymewitch

@alchemical-overreaction

@frogpantsthebloodgod

@yourlocalbreadenthusiast

@mango-lord-of-poison

@detectivewizzard

@the-necrobotanist

@lixorloveslicorice

@hyper-lynx

@chaos-wizard-nyehehe

@song-de-lune

@lord-devere

@waluigis-elbow

@so-um-brasileiro

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for autistic systems!

The intersection of plurality and autism is higher than many folks may think! Lots of systems out there find that they are both plural and autistic (our system included)! Autistic systems deserve to be uplifted, celebrated, and accepted into the plural community as they are with open arms. So here’s to all the autistic systems out there!

♾ Shoutout to systems identify as autigenic whose plurality manifested partially or fully as a result of their autism!

🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems with collective or individual special interests, or who sometimes develop new headmates due to their special interests!

✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who are sensory seeking, who stim often or seek out positive, pleasant, or intense sensations!

♾ Shoutout to autistic systems who struggle to express themselves and be understood properly by the people they interact and engage with!

🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems who are sensory avoidant, or who are harmed and distressed by certain sensations!

✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who are nonspeaking, nonverbal, or use AAC, sign language, communication cards, or other tools to effectively communicate!

♾ Shoutout to autistic systems with headmates who are symptom holders or who hold on to some of their particular autistic traits!

🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems who need help from caregivers internally or externally in order to live happy, healthy lives!

✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who often feel lonely and isolated, or who struggle to establish and maintain relationships, either inside or outside their system!

♾ Shoutout to autistic systems who have been traumatized by others in their life attempting to treat or cure their autism, ignoring their autism, or refusing to provide proper accommodations and accessibility!

🌈 Shoutout to systems who are questioning whether or not they are autistic or are aiming to one day self-diagnose!

✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who love their neurodiversity and have embraced it as a part of their collective identity!

♾ Shoutout to autistic systems who are often exhausted from masking their autism, their plurality, or both!

🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems who have unique ways of perceiving, understanding, and engaging with the world!

Autistic systems, you not only belong here in the plural community, but by being here you help make our spaces a better place! We hope that your future is filled with happy memories and pleasant experiences, and you find yourselves surrounded by people who care about you and want to support you! Know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being yourself and expressing yourself in ways that bring you comfort and joy.

We love you, we’re rooting for you, and we’re wishing you the very best in all that you do! We hope that you can find the time to relax today and treat yourself and your system with gentleness and compassion. Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Apr 4th

~*~

1. Hello! ITMF multiple WWX's? Like he clones himself or if maybe time travel causes there to be multiple WWX's running around. Can be chaste or naughty, but bonus points for LWJ getting flustered having some many WWX's around! Thank you!

Wei Wuxian’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good First Meeting With His Future by Enigmatree (T, 3k, wangxian, Time Travel, Cloud Recesses, YLLZ WWX, POV Outsider)

How to Deal with the Conundrum of Your Past Self: A Case Study by anatheme (E, 16k, wangxian, A/B/O, YLLZ WWX, Established Relationship, Pining, Sexual Tension, alpha YLLZ WWX/alpha LWJ/omega MXY!WWX: the fic, ft. soft married wangxian, Threesome - M/M/M, yes LWJ gets the knot after xx years, Bottom LWJ, Switch WangXian, Knotting, time travel of sorts, a thesis on making peace with and loving yourself, Happy Ending, welcome to my LWJ has 2 hands for 2 WWX agenda)

~*~

2. itmf fics where ljy is lxc's son! whether bio or not is fine, just looking for some scenes where lxc is like a father to ljy. tyvm!

🔒how to make your dad fall in love with your high school teacher in five steps; the complete and bulletproof guide by ravenditefairylights (T, 90k, WangXian, Modern AU, Coffee shop AU, NB LSZ, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Genderfluid WWX, Nonbinary LSZ, Trauma, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Healing, Hurt WWX, Found Family, Hospitalization, Therapy, Single Parent WWX, Mutual Pining, Teacher LWJ, Unreliable Narrator, Teenager LSZ, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Chronic Pain, Autistic LWJ) although their relationship is not the focus of the story

3zun Raise Jingyi AU series by Deriliarch (T, 94k, 3Zun, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Established Relationship, Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending, Kid fic, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

3. Do you have idol aus? I want idol Wei Ying. A) Specifically, the idol life, can be before/during/after debut. B) Idol survival show participant wwx

3A)

Bodyguard king by 74243 (E, 8k, wangxian, F/F WangXian, Modern, Idol WWX, Bodyguard LWJ, Female NHS, Platonic D/s, Loss of Virginity, Not NOT inspired by KUWTK s05e04, When u do what u love u never work a day in ur life)

shooting straight into your heart by tangerinechar (T, 13k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Modern, Multimedia, Humor, idol WWX, cameraman LWJ, and a very Done(tm) manager JC)

Amidst the Crowd by GusuBunnie (G, 5k, wangxian, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Idol WWX, Supportive LXC, JC Needs a Hug, Background Xicheng, Angst, Fluff, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, LXC being the best brother, Modern, Idol/Fan AU, LWJ is Bad at Communicating)

3B)

🧡 I Don’t Want to Debut! by countingcr0ws (G, 56k, wangxian, Modern, Reality Show, Idols, Celebrity, Social Media, Epistolary, Romance, Fluff, Footnotes, Kissing, Poetry, Podfic Available)

~*~

4. Hi , idk how to ask about fanfics properly. I am very new to Tumblr . But can you please recommend some fics on Wangxian's parent's generation. Like lan Qiren, Wei Changze, Cangse Sanren, Jiang Fengmian, etc, being teenagers @kwalitymxtxpow7

Cursed Couple by shorimochi (M, 121k, LQR/WRH, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Out of Character)

The Other Mountain by nirejseki (T, 287k, LQR/WRH, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Mentions of Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma, Domestic Violence, Torture, Sadism, Asexual Character, sex-positive asexual, Past Relationship(s), An Exercise in Gender Roles, Non-Egalitarian Views on Marriage, World Domination, Pedagogical Theory, Ethics, comedy of manners, Implied Harm to Children, Mental Health Issues, Undernegotiated Kink, Canon-Typical Violence, Close POV Narrator, Donghua Imagery) i recommend "the other mountain" by nirejseki, and all her other lan qirenx wen ruohan works

~*~

5. thank you for your hardwork admins! itmf for rich lwj who is head over heels for wwx? and i mean like he is a massive simp for wwx, worship the ground he walks on kind of way ^^

LWJ’s Big Dick Agenda Series by raitala (E, 146k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Porn with Feelings, Light Dom/sub, Under-negotiated Kink, Public Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Cock Warming, Angst, Feels, Domestic fluff, Misgendering, Slut Shaming, Crossdressing, Rimming, Roleplay) try LWJ's big dick agenda!

CEO Billionaire Lan Zhan by detention_notes (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Parody, Pining Bunnies, Wealth, Crack)

For Safekeeping Purposes by ChilianXianzi (M, 3k, wangxian, Modern, Gangsters, Crime Boss LWJ, Sugar Daddy LWJ, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, And LWJ's going to take care of that, thoroughly, Domestic fluff but everyone's in a crime syndicate, Found Family, Age Difference, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Canon-typical Abusive Jiangs)

~*~

6. For INTMF could you rec some pretty heavy angst with happy and/or hopeful ending? Like Working Title: Everyone Lives (With Knives) series. @dragonfairies

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX) maybe? do they want canon era stories? I have heavy angst /whump stories but they're not in the canon era

Shameless self rec because angst with happy ending is like my signature at this point.

New Perspective Series by mrcformoso (T, 35k, WangXian, Angst, Hopeful Ending, Fatherhood, Regrets, Flashbacks, POV LWJ, LWJ-centric, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Pining LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī Needs a Hug, Character Development, Dead WWX, Introspection, LWJ is Bad at Feelings, Character Study, Regretful, LWJ Breaking Toxic Cycles, Canon Compliant, LWJ in Seclusion, Post-LWJ in Seclusion, Child LSZ)

Window of the Waking Mind by mrcformoso (M, 8k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, Graphic depictions of violence, Major Character Death, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Torture, Golden Core Transfer, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Break, Flashbacks, Curses, Night Hunts, Suicide, Starvation, Canonical Child Abuse, Canonical Character Death, Cannibalism, Although it was forced by the situation to survive, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, lots of comfort, Soft LQR, Learning To Communicate, Zidian Spiritual Tool, JC Tries, Reaction)

When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending)

~*~

7. hi, itmf wangxian in a hunger games setting that is not "The Hanging Tree" series by chatonnerie (just read that, it's so good and has me hungering for more!). thx so much!

our lives, never ours by glitteringmoonlight (T, 7k, WangXian, Hunger Games Setting, Angst, Minor Violence, Blood, hunger games typical references to violence, implied happy ending, but it's a bit ambiguous, this exists mostly for angst purposes tbh)

~*~

8. hey admins! itmf longer post canon fics like 'wind rose in the clouds'? thank you ❤️

For 8, what about that fic did the requester like? What specifically are they looking for other than length and post-canon setting? Or are those the only criteria?

~*~

9. IITMF ask; Give me your favorite ‘Wei Wuxian in Wei Wuxian’s body or keeps his body or doesn’t actually die’ fics. I’m in the mood to read more of our favorite boy as his og self. (He doesn’t have to start in his body, but I want my boy looking like himself by the end)

Saw My Life in a Stranger's Face by timetoboldlygo (T, 27k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Light Angst, wwx's face changes post-canon to look like his original face, Slight Panic Attack, because lwj doesn't recognize his husband, the mortifying ordeal of not knowing your own body, the terrifying inevitability of change, taller!wwx theory)

~*~

10. fics in which wwx comes back (from the dead/from the burial mounds/from hiding, whatever really) specifically for lwj!! (can be modern too if there r any)

🧡 Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 15k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

11. itmf fics where wangxian time travel to modern times - not reincarnation, but straight time travel. Preferably (mostly) canon typical before the time travel, but the point in canon when it happens does not matter

🧡 The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal (T, 266k, WIP, WangXian, Ridiculously Long Notes, History, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Slow Life, Action/Adventure, Magic Returns, BAMF WWX) could technically count if you don't mind it being just wwx who ends up in the future?

take me back to a time by DizziDreams (T, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Modern with Magic, Time Travel, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Student!WWX, Time-Traveling Wizard!LWJ, Slow Burn, Character Death, Angst, reference to abuse, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Abuse, Canon!LWJ, Canon-Typical Violence, Mutual Pining, Chronic Illness, Not A Fix-It, Case Fic, implied 3zun, Transmigration, America, [Podfic of] take me back to a time by dreamhazer) not sure if this can work

~*~

12. ITMF for fics where wwx is abused sexually by the jiangs (JFM/JC) or an adult male figure he trusts. (Like the "between a rock and a hard place" series by Mydla but the truth is revealed and it's properly dealt with/ he gets his justice) @linossock

🔒 a choice to call our own by renhui (E, 93k, wangxian, JFM/WWX, WIP, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Forced Bonding, Homelessness, Dubious Consent, Self-Esteem Issues, Soulmates, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining while fucking, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Breaking Up & Making Up, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Good Uncle LQR, No Sunshot Campaign, Asexuality Spectrum) mostly fits the bill, although the requester should be warned that it's a WIP that ends before JFM gets his comeuppance, although it ends with the beginnings of a setup for that, so it's clearly on the way.

clean from the war (your heart fits like a key) by sysrae (E, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU Reunions, past xy/wwx, xy is fucked up but not evil because it's a modern AU and I said so, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, past wwx/jfm, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Abuse, Rape Recovery, transphobic violence, Victim Blaming, Past wei Wuxian/others, allusions to past self-harm) I think this might fit- note the tags

~*~

13. thank you for this blog!! for the next itmf - any stories that take off like RoseThorne's wonderful ' a grain of millet drifting' - untamed canon-ish where WY is left on his own after the temple scene. angst appreciated - thank you !

tell some storm by qurbat (G, 31k, wangxian, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX, NHS & WWX, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, liberal amounts of outsider POV, the legend of wangxian, how to create a romance epic for dummies)

~*~

14. Hey can plz anyone tell if there is a fic where wei ying is an omega and wangji is an alpha and we ying is an op omega but no one knows about it like everyone thinks that he is an alpha or something.

backfire by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, LWJ/MXY, One-Sided MXY/WWX, MXY/NMJ, Modern, BDSM AU, Biologically Determined Dom/sub Roles, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Sadism, Masochism, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Self-Harm, BDSM as a Form of Self-Harm, Minor Character Death(s), Arson, Shades of Black Widow WWX, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Normalized Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Normalized Polyamory, nonsexual bdsm, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Pining WWX, jealous WWX, Touch-Starved WWX, Professional Dominant WWX, Sex Worker WWX, gentle dom LWJ, Mean Dom LWJ, oblivious LWJ, Past WC/WWX, Minor JGY/WWX, Mentioned WWX/Others, Emotional Infidelity, Angst with a Happy Ending, endgame wangxian, MXY Also Gets a Happy Ending, the tags are scary but i promise there's some lightheartedness too, wangxian love one another so much, WWX is healed by the power of nonsexual bdsm and friendship, and then gets bdsm'd quite sexually and happily by the love of his life, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

~*~

15. helloooo do you know of any fics that are canon events (mdzsverse preferred but cql still fine) narrated from lwj's pov where he's just horrifically pining for wwx? looking for peak canon-compliant lwj pining <3 @nutellacats

🔒 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide) Novel events from LWJ's pov

The Choice is His to Believe in Me by mrcformoso (T, 11k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, but only the ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ regaining WWX's Trust, Golden Core Reveal, Good Kid LSZ, Snippets, Post-Time Skip, Love Confessions, Requited Love, Trust Issues, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, WWX Has No Golden Core, Light Jealousy, Fierce Corpse WN, Protective LWJ) CQL compliant but with some novel elements, and with a canon divergence ending. Might want to read New Perspective (link in #6) first for context

~*~

16. Hello! For the next itmf, fics that place heavy emphasis on how what wwx practices is guidao (ghost cultivation) as opposed to modao (demonic cultivation)? Ideally canon dynamics, but no smut is also definitely ok! @lovelyiknow

The Young, the Horny, the Jaded and the Jade: Partners in Time by Admiranda (T, 55k, wangxian, established couple, Crossover, road trip with your older selves, teasing your younger selves about their obvious crushes, yin iron does yin iron things, mdzs/cql crossover, adult wangxian, Teenage Wangxian, genius WWX, LWJ adores his husband, we’re all in this disaster together, xue yang causes problems, WIP)

Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending) Been a while since I last read this one but I recall WWX working & interacting with ghosts & corpses & explaining to other characters how that works

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days) in later chapters

~*~

17. For itmf, what are you guys’ favorite fics that are novel or audio drama canon only fics? No CQL compliant fics please!

two guys r in love thats literally it by victortor (M, 11k, wangxian, Time Travel, the fluffiest thing ive ever written)

🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke ( M, 180k, WangXian, Arranged marriage, Canon Divergence, Hurt/comfort, Light angst, Canon typical violence)

SanRen by Kyogre (T, 87k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Different First Meeting, Romantic Fluff, Action & Romance, Eventual Happy Ending)

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Celebrate Your Autistic Self

Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place

[fyeahaudiodrama]

Happy @podcastgirlsweek to all who celebrate! While I haven't had the time to properly work on fics (and probably won't this week because oops, hurt my hands yesterday) I still wanted to take the time to highlight some favorite podcast girlies along with everyone else!

The prompt for Monday is highlighting podcasts with women in the leading roles, so here's a few of mine (and hopefully, some new ones of yours if you don't know them yet):

Back Again, Back Again: Ilyaas, you absolutely fantastic disaster of a fantasy ace, never stop trying.

Breathing Space: While the show is anthology with a rotating cast, some of my favorites from across its run include:

Evie Yuriskin

Amity Archer

Any characters who were introduced one episode and then started referring to each other as "my wife" by the end or by their next appearance

Camlann: Some apocalypse survivors interpret dangerous dreams about dark magic to cope. Some knit sweaters. Both are valid and should kiss.

City of Ghosts: Featuring the grungy, disgruntled, tormented-by-visions LADY detective of your dreams.

Desperado: Take note - give your ladies knives. And god powers. And witchcraft. And a sniper rifle, for good measure.

Do You Copy?: I think [REDACTED] deserves three weeks of paid vacation

Fawx & Stallion: Madge Stallion is THE moment. She's six feet tall. She can't stop making innuendos. She's not your fucking Mrs. Hudson (although, she is - no, I shan't say).

Hi Nay: Mari & Laura are my everything - the loving and self-sacrificing hero and the newfound friend who chooses to stand by her side (fire axe and all).

Inn Between: Oh, my Inn Between girlies, where do I start? Fina and Betty, the OGs and life partners that even death couldn't stall? Rosie and Zara, the new best pals who chose to stay together? Phoebe, just one step at a time learning what she deserves and what she doesn't? All impeccable, A+.

It Makes A Sound: Any show focused on music is going to be a slam dunk for me, but Deirdre's quest to reclaim her memories as well as those that tied her to her mother is so damn real and compelling.

The Kingmaker Histories: No female character in this show has ever done anything wrong. Colette gets a migraine pass. Ariadne can turn people inside out. Daphne is owed this for working in a theme park.

Life With LEO(h): Janiiiiiine, so messy and smart and dedicated and she cares so much, I love yoooooou.

Me and AU: Kate's worries and desires and doubts are some of the realest out of any audio drama so when do I find an Ella too

Palimpsest: My faaaaavorite gothic horror anthology, each one fresh with a different brand of haunted, tormented, secret-keeping (and quite frequently gay) gothic protagonist

The Pasithea Powder: Jane and Sophie. Sophie and Jane. What more could you need? <3

The Silt Verses: Women who start cults/leave cults/seek an end to the endless cycle of meaningless sacrifice as so valid. For all your wet cat(fish) woman needs.

Second Star to the Left: Because I always love a good Ishani performance. Hi Gwen, please tell Boots I love them.

Small Victories: You want sad wet cat women? How about one that literally can't stop self-sabotaging (but at least manages to draw the line at sabotaging others...occasionally). She even gets stabbed!

Starfall: I mean, kind of a given, but anyway, Leona definitely exists because she's the kind of action protagonist woman I always wanted - one that could be unapologetically powerful, but still full of flaws and desires (especially ones that weren't about falling in love and minimizing her own strengths). She's even autistic!

Stories From Ylelmore: Keryth! Keryth, Keryth, Keryth! She reminds me so much of the kinds of characters I would make up when I was younger - I love her and her small magic so dearly.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Hi queer space pirates <3

Unseen: Another anthology show, but Harry Winters and Never-Ending Circles remains one of the most perfect premiere episodes I've ever heard in audio drama.

The Way We Haunt Now: Get your podcast ladies here, dead or alive!

We Fix Space Junk: My favorite type of repairman is a woman who could kick my ass.

Wolf 359: I don't think I need say much more here - y'all know and love 'em just as much as I do.

[turtle-steverogers]

a lot of your hcs about Steve give me neurodivergent feelings and I was wondering if you feel like Steve is autistic or perhaps just has a lot of sensory issues/social issues because of the serum and his life experience that can he comparable to experiences people with autism have?

also if you do Steve as autistic, do you think he'd ever seek a diagnosis? what would his reaction be? my bff finally got her diagnoses for autism and ADHD earlier this week and she was so relieved and happy to finally have doctors listen to her. idk something about her happiness made me think of steve because he makes me happy too.

(your blog makes me very happy too xx)

hello hello hello!

you just unlocked my most precious and dead headcanon, oh anon. i do, in fact, headcanon steve as autistic. part of it is self-indulgent projection, and i certainly expand on traits that are already there in a direct way to maintain that headcanon, but i do also feel like it's not entirely out of the ballpark for him as a character!

the second part of your question is really interesting, and my answer is... maybe? i have an ongoing RP with a friend where he was diagnosed by a therapist, not because he sought a diagnosis, but because this particular therapist saw the traits within him and recommended he seek one, and honestly, i feel like that is probably most accurate to how it would go for him seeing as autism wasn't a prevalent or talked about thing in any casual capacity before the ice, so he wouldn't really... know to seek out a diagnosis/connect that certain perspectives, ways he views the world, and struggles he may have align with autism. but i love the thought that once he is diagnosed, so many personal questions are answered, and he is able to go on a journey to recontextualize things for himself and begin to accommodate and celebrate himself! so yes, relief is a very strong result of that for him, i'm sure

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

8. What sort of disability representation would you consider ideal for you?

11. What is one question, idea, or talking point about [your] disability that you are so tired of?

8. if speak for self n not for entire community! stuff that not shy away from realistic violent ableism n things that make audience uncomfy. want see accurate nonverval high support needs I/DD representation, not shy away from hard stuff but not tell it from entire life tragedy disability tragedy perspective, nor inspiration porn happy all time or secret little genius, or perfect lil saint angel (sometimes we real assholes). show HSN I/DD ppl happy & be okay with disability even when face with inaccessibility. see us date n in love! have sex! learn! be good at stuff!

n also want see HSN I/DD character just exist! outside disability stories.

EDIT oh n!! HSN people who can’t like. do “impressive things” but we still around bc take care community take care of vulnerable people still important !!

n also, just like wheelchair user character be played be wheelchair using actor, autistic character be play by autistic actor… want see nonverbal character be play by nonverbal person, high support needs character play by high support needs actor… which especially HSN I/DD actor, can be quite unrealistic (inaccessibility of acting & set + often our support needs n disability make acting impossible), so really hope when people celebrate “x character play by x actor,” like “(HSN) autistic character play by (LrSN) autistic actor,” we not just celebrate autism part but we also at least talk about how support needs difference power dynamic. because even if there no alternative, have someone autistic but not HSN play HSN autistic character, for example, not automatic make feel less mocked.

so many times see people celebrate some film disabled character play by disabled person!!! n it wheelchair user play by wheelchair user, which absolutely great!! but in same film nonverbal AAC user NOT played by AAC user not to even mention nonverbal person n no one bat eye n. just feel betrayed n ignored by all

11. oof many… why nonverbal about all the time experience n why shouldn’t say go nonverbal or nonverbal episode or sometimes nonverbal… how some people prefer nonverbal over nonspeaking n how they not always mean different thing… how disabled ppl will identify in way you not like even if you also disabled, like severity labels (also how not everything is fucking autism)… how having more support needs than nondisabled not make you medium or high support needs, how struggle more than non autistic not make you level 2 or 3… all ways autistic community awful to people with intellectual disability n also down syndrome cerebral palsy etc many I/DD… how no you can’t “reclaim” r word if you not ID how be bullied not same as systemic oppression… can go on n on

especially tired of these because… it not like they not important but. there so many other important things like how people without functional communication still not getting AAC, how so many I/DD people not get age appropriate developmental milestone appropriate cognitive intellectual appropriate education, JRC still shocking people, how special education often god awful but also next 4 years US lose many protection that keep it in place n lose what little had in first place… n instead of talk about those advocate for those advocate for direct changes, am stuck here talk about these terminology issue over n over n over again.

ask game

[austinstyles]

Lover

Austin Butler x autistic reader

Summery: You and Austin are living your life as a couple. This takes place after his press for the Bikeriders and the two of you are celebrating your anniversary. Also there is a 5 year age gap. And reader is autistic.

Warning: kissing and spelling mistakes let me know if I missed anything. Also put a small steamy moment. PG. Dont read if your not comfortable.

Y/n pov

Today me and Austin are hanging out at his place. At the moment Austin has been doing press for his movie Bikeriders and any time we spend together when we’re not busy it’s always nice.

I am working on writing my fantasy book. And today I took a break to spend time with my kind hearted boyfriend since 2021.

We have always tried and made our busy schedule work and we do our best. My schedule as a full time author is actually some of what I enjoy. My dream was always to be an author and my dream came true. 

Today me and Austin are celebrating our 3 year anniversary with a intimate celebration for the two of us. Austin is the love of my life. Also every kiss is filled with passion for each other. My autism has its challenges but Austin is so supportive.

With the 3 year relationship he can understand when I have sensory overload and need to step back. He is a wonderful boyfriend. I have had other relationships before him that ended with the person finding my autism to much for them. But Austin has never done that. Also he is so charming, I feel like the luckiest woman to be with this marvelous man.

Love it when he understands my hyper fixation on the things that are my favorite things. Like how I lately have been hyper fixated on baking for the past few weeks. My experience with the baking has always been there. But also have other hyper fixations like movies and writing my book I am writing. Self published author is my passion and job.

So just before getting ready to hang out with Austin I baked some cupcakes for us to enjoy and celebrate our anniversary. Actually my favorite dates we go on is us just hanging out at my place or his place. It’s freeing to not have to use masking with Austin. Masking is were I have to act like I am neurotypical when I am not. And it is exhausting having to mask myself at times. I love feeling free to be myself 100 percent of the time.

I decided to wear a nice light yellow sundress with a denim jacket over it. I like to bring a jacket with me in case I get cold or I need it. My makeup is all done. I always go for mostly a simple look with light colors. Mostly a natural makeup look is what I go for when doing my makeup. My hair is finish with the beautiful curls I made with my straightener. Take my purse that has my car keys and my phone with me. And can’t leave without a sprits of perfume so I smell good. Get out my apartment and go to the parking garage in my apartment building. Get into the car put on my seatbelt. So I start my drive to Austin place. 

Austin pov

Today is a special day for me and my girlfriend y/n. Can’t wait to spend so nice quality alone time. I just love y/n with everything in my heart. There are moments I can’t believe I landed y/n this beautiful 27 year old that is about to turn 28 soon. Feeling very blessed and grateful. What is so magical is that we understand each other in different ways. I don’t what her to charge her personality or anything that makes her the person she is. I was completely ready and dressed for the date night at my place. Y/n has been dealing with burn out for the past few weeks so I wanted to give her what she needed. She also said that a date night would be nice so I wanted to do that for her. Her burn out has gone down y/n told me. We keep each other updated on how we’re doing. That is what works for us. And being supportive of each other’s work and helping each other also is something we do. What I love that y/n does is when she can be herself completely with me. In the past 3 years I’ve let her know you don’t have to mask yourself with me to appear neurotypical. So she has always been herself 100 percent with me over time. We respect each other and love each other.

Suddenly my door bell rings and I move towards the door. I unopened the lock, there on the other side stood my wonderful girlfriend. So I moved to let her in, and locked the door. Soon our lips are moving in sink. All my mind is thinking about that I am so happy to have this beautiful girl be my girlfriend.

Our make out is moved to my couch. And we keep at it. Soon I want to take this moment and frame it. I love her. And can’t let her out of my life. When we’re done making out we decided to watch a movie. Y/n lay her head on my shoulder. Eating dinner and watching a movie is a nice relaxing experience for the two of us. After dinner I take a cupcake and feed it to her and she does it to me.

Again we start making out, so much passion is flowing out of our lips. I want all of her and can tell she wants all of me. Quickly we abandon my couch for my bedroom. Clothes being taken of and the door being shut after we enter.

Passion sparks are everywhere and my heart is beating out of my chest. Making love with her consent it what I love besides everything else I love about her and love the respect we have for one another. This woman is my soulmate. And the fire passion can easily tell you that.

And you can tell what is happening between us behind my bedroom door. Bed is shaking and moans are coming out of our mouths.

A/n: Thanks for reading. Sorry it took some time I had writer block but not anymore. Try my best and also did the steamy scene behind closed doors because I am more comfortable with that and only writing it how I am okay with. Hope you enjoy the work. And more fanfics to come when I finish them. My request are open. Also made a shortish fanfic again I know. I try to make them as long as I am okay with and some times have to edit the story so I am happy with it and I am so happy with this.

🩷🌸👍🏻🙂😄🖤

Grace 



[frozenjokes]

Hey, I binged read your cubscar(ian) hotguy au

And I LOVED it,

Cub's characterization is so precious, he's so autistic to me (I'm autistic so I kin heavily) the way you write him, chef's kiss and all that. Is Cub Demi? xx

Scar is so strong and yet so broken but he doesn't know it yet, I'm so glad he's in therapy now <3. I love that you wrote him this way, he's disabled (just like me) but he's not a child, he's whimsy but so life smart, I value so much when authors write him like this and his plurality is very relatable <3. And his friendship with Mumbo <3

Grian, well he's just so real, his need for a job ever tho Cub was happy looking out for him <3, his friendship just reconnecting with Mumbo so easily, warmth. I love how self aware he is, and the angst you wrote for him is heart strings shattering I loved.

Cub and Grian's relationship ahhhhh yessss. The commitment and devotion, how they are so connected they didn't notice it sliding from platonic to romantic. This just IS for me.

Cub and Scar, well (yes again 🤣) they are so sweet, and Cub holds 51% of the cards lol but Scar's 49% is really doing things for Cub wink wink. Some of the reasoning behind Cub's love is being loved. And Scar loving him because of his round edges and softness 🥹

Scar and Grian. I hope the flowers he got for them were poppies and lilacs /lh /nf; Scar's fear because of his sharp edges, Scar in other works has his weakness but he can always find in in himself to want to protect Grian almost as a superior?, but you write Scar so vulnerable and equal to Grian. They are enemies to frenemies to ... But really it's caused by the lack of knowing, eachother and their personal experiences. Again Scar and his plural view of people <3 I think Grian thought of Scar as stronger emotionally, physically, mentally then Scar ever was, and Grian used him because of this misconception. I'm glad they're getting there, truly. Did Grian feel dejected? when Scar didn't help with his wings? Angst <3

thank you!!! Cub could be Demi. So could Grian! They can be whatever your heart desires. Personally I don’t care to label any of them because it isn’t very important to me. I do think Cub would refer to both Scar and Grian has his friends even after years of being together and it drives Scar absolutely nuts. Why are you doing that. What do you Mean. Cub it’s been twenty years you can introduce me as your boyfriend I Promise no one here is going to judge you and cub just goes: ? oh right. and then he never does that. the word friend just comes easier. it’s cozy.

It’s very silly to me you pointed out scar’s friendship with Mumbo because they are not friends scar is Coping. /silly. I actually forget very often I write a lot of angst of these characters because that’s just not really how my brain categorizes turmoil. It’s always a jumpscare to see it pointed out /light hearted, joking. funniest instance of this happening 🔽

(from chapter two of the Jimmy decked out fic)

I was on call with a friend while reading this for the first time and for the life of me I Could Not think of what /nf meant and he didn’t know either so we came up with some ideas: NOT FUNNY. no fingers. non fungible. nut fart. NO FUN. no friends. Nice feet. never forget. nice flowers. new friend! NOT FAIR

it means not forced. we had to look it up LMAO /silly silly silly. thank you for the laughs

Grian thought of scar as a piece of shit self absorbed celebrity and this is true however it’s not everything. inside is a deeply, deeply, extremely deeply, unimaginably kicked puppy. he’s sad and pathetic and has big wet eyes. also he cares.

Grian wasn’t too affected by Scar’s not wanting to touch his wings, and in general the experience was a little more overwhelmingly confusing? Neither he nor Cub expected him to have such a strong reaction, especially when things between all three of them are getting better, but Scar is still carrying the weight of a lot of Grian’s poor treatment of him for weeks on end, and even though Scar’s forgiven him and understands where he was coming from, those aren’t things you can just brush off, especially when many of Grian’s gestures (good and bad) are sweeping and intense and unpredictable, and people pleasing for someone as unstable as that (less so now, but before it was bad) is Extremely Stressful. dealing with cuteguy (evil version) for months beforehand Did Not Help. there’s a reason Scar views Grian as Sharp and that’s because they have both beat the piss out of each other hundreds of times.

To a point Grian is aware of this. It’s a thing he’s discussed in therapy a thousand times, and something he had to confront directly with Jimmy. In his eyes, his friendship with Scar (despite blunders on both sides) is an act of Scar’s good will towards him as given with Scar’s forgiveness, and if Scar is having problems, then it’s not really something Grian can hold against him. Obviously that doesn’t stop feelings from being hurt, but this was more a result of The Panic Attack than the wing touching refusal. Which Grian dealt with by Pushing Minigolf Pushing Pushing Pushing Pushing. Grian’s reaction to guilt and/or rejection is I NEED TO MAKE UP FOR THIS RIGHT MEOW!!!!! and in doing so often fails miserably to read the room, which is why Cub steps in in that particular instance.

as far as wings though, if I were Grian, scar would be The Last Person I want touching them. Clumsiest motherfucker alive who in the case of this au, tends to be rougher with his affection because he literally can not tell what is too little or too much. Having someone nervous at your back probably isn’t a great feeling either, and for an activity that’s supposed to be relaxing, Cub brings a Much steadier aura. Cub also has the capacity to focus. Scar would probably need at least three other sources of stimulation to do a good job. And it would still hurt. Regular wing grooming is not supposed to hurt 💔

my rambling service comes free, well, perhaps at a small cost of a seemingly benign question. normal about her ocs frozenjokes back at it again