bitebitekxll

[bitebitekxll]

nice

[bitebitekxll]

[bitebitekxll]

[Toon x Mobster] Somewhere in TxM is a gym filled with these guys

Anyway, there's a chance for people to look funny in TxM for various reasons

[bitebitekxll]

it could help

[bitebitekxll]

Childe w/ an Autistic SO

Notes: This was meant to be a self-indulgent thing for Valentine’s Day but then my internet broke around then so happy late February I guess? Yes I am autistic, and yes Childe is my favourite, so enjoy (also obligatory ‘I’m basing this on my experience of autism, which isn’t universal’ reminder)

Fun fact, the pattern recognition part is literally how I solve like 90% of genshin puzzles, very handy… except for when it randomly stops working.

CW: Very light sh mention during the meltdown part (hitting/biting). Skip the end of the post if you need to <3

✧ 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Childe cooks for his siblings all the time, so of course he’ll do the same for you! He might be strict about making sure you eat healthy— gotta keep you fighting fit, after all —but if there’s something you genuinely can’t stand, it’s off the menu without question. Eating should be enjoyable, a time to enjoy the presence of your friends or family while having a delicious treat, and anyone who even dares to suggest you’re acting ‘spoiled’ or ‘rude’ by not wanting to eat certain foods will quickly find themselves facing the brunt of our boy’s pretty dead eyes. Whether it’s a food that could send you into a meltdown from the sensation, or just something you have a mild distaste for, you never need to justify or explain yourself to him.

Just say the word comrade, and you’ll never have to touch that dish again~

✧ 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Not up for socialising? Don’t worry, he’s charming enough for the both of you! It doesn’t matter if you always struggle with social interaction, or if you’re just not able to handle it in that specific moment, he’ll direct all the attention away from you. If someone doesn’t get the hint that you don’t wanna talk, he’ll be happy to scare them off for you. He’s basically an excitable murderous big dog.

✧ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ✧

There are all sorts of treasures and secrets littered around Teyvat; ruins and domains and alcoves hidden behind tricky mechanisms. And with your wandering hands idly finding the correct combination to get through a puzzle, you and Childe can breeze straight to the fun stuff! Especially because these places are usually crawling with monsters for him to fight.

You can downplay it all you want, say it’s just ‘dumb luck’ and that you have no idea how you figure out what to do, that you’re not smart and just following a gut feeling, it all goes in one ear and out the other. Childe’s too busy cheering and he scoops you up and spins you around, celebrating both your ability and the fact that he doesn’t have to bang his head against the wall trying to figure it out himself.

✧ 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ✧

The first time you get overstimulated he’ll panic, hating to see you in distress but not knowing how to help. But after you talk about it, and he experiences it a few times, he will effortlessly be able to do whatever you need from it. You’re his love, after all, and he takes your well-being more seriously than any battle,

He will absolutely abuse his position as a Harbinger to make sure you can get somewhere quiet whenever and wherever you need it. His office at Northland Bank, the Goth Hotel in Mondstadt, a private room in any high end restaurant nearby— there’s nowhere he can’t get in with a mix of money, power, and intimidation.

✧ 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Constantly gets you little trinkets and mechanisms to stim with. It’s similar to the toys he gets for Teucer, but palm-sized and with a few modifications. A little ruin guard with a top half that spins, a squishy Sumeru Fungus with giant adorable eyes, a small whale keychain with a felt underbelly that you can scratch— anything sensation you could ask for, he’ll get it made for you. At a certain point you wonder if he actually does have a secret side hustle as a toy seller (though likely not for long, considering he gives it all to you for free. Not exactly the best business model.)

✧ 𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐓𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ✧

With battle senses as honed as his, and the way he starts watching you like a hawk when he sees you in distress, he can practically act before the meltdown even hits. Childe will put his hands in the way to take the brunt of any hit you aim at your head or bite you target your arm with. Every. Single. Time. Don’t worry if you leave a bruise, he can barely even feel it compared to the injuries he’s used to!

And hey, if you can feel beforehand that you might hurt yourself, you can just hurt him instead! …don’t give him that look, it’ll be like a spar! Just swing at him; he won’t even dodge, not if it’ll help. And if it won’t, then he’ll wait for whatever you need like an overgrown puppy. Hugs or space, company or solitude, whatever will help. (He might be a little sad if you wanna be left alone, but he understands— he’ll resign himself to just worrying until he sees you again. He won’t blame you for it, of course not, never, it’s not your fault he wants to spend every second with you.)

TL;DR: our boy is attentive af and will do everything he can to make sure you stay safe and comfy.

[bitebitekxll]

[bitebitekxll]

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Do they purr - genshin non-humans

៚ Zhongli ✧ Xiao ✧ Wanderer ✧ Albedo ✧ Venti

Notes: Holy hell how do I have 50 followers??? THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUPPORTING MY SILLY MUSINGS. This literally was just my way to learn how to write smut and post self-indulgent head canons but I’m glad people are enjoying this with me :DDDD

𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐈 ᥫ᭡

Yes, 100%. He will deny it every time but lay on this man’s chest, maybe press a kiss to his jaw, and his chest is going like a fucking engine. He will insist that it’s not a purr, it’s simply a content growl— or perhaps a rumble, at most. He isn’t some measly cat, after all, he is a mighty dragon, the Prime Adeptus—

It’s definitely a purr.

Get him a cat ear hairband. He will give you the most long-suffering, unamused look while he wears them, but he will wear them. Anything for his beloved ♡~

𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎 ᥫ᭡

No, unfortunately. You have found no evidence that your stone-faced Yaksha is capable of emitting a purr, or purr-like sound (though certainly not for lacking of trying).

However… there is the matter of whether he is able to trill or coo like a bird, given that is his true nature.

He gets annoyed when you ask him, adamant that is not something he can do, and how dare you even entertain such a notion. Have you no respect for the adepti? Hmph.

…but you swear you’ve heard him chirp when you catch him off guard: kissing him without warning or praising him unabashedly.

It seems this will require further investigation.

𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀 ᥫ᭡

Not purring, but whirring!! Got this idea from @seabirdtxt ‘s Glitch in Irminsul fic (it’s SAGAU focused on the diff vers of scara existing at the same time, go read it it’s great) and it just makes so much sense to me.

As a mechanical puppet, and an advanced one at that, Scara has tons of machinery going on inside of him. Though it usually can’t be heard, if you get especially close to his chest— a privilege only reserved for you and maybe Nahida during hugs —you can hear the whirring and clicking of his moving parts inside. It doesn’t sound the same as a purr, not exactly, but it’s pretty damn close.

Most of the time it’s pretty faint, but sometimes Scara might just make it louder— it’s got nothing to do with the way your face lights up or how you smile when you hear it, don’t be stupid.

Of course, the only way he can make the noise louder is by overworking his system, making the parts inside move faster than they’re supposed to. If he does it too much or for too long, well…

You’ll know it’s time to lecture him on taking better care of himself when he starts burning up. Overheating is the first sign he’s about to overload his system and shut down (or from everyone else’s perspective: pass out).

You’re the only one who can make him stupid enough to be willing to break his own mechanisms just to see that adorable ridiculous expression on your face. (He might come back to his senses in a petulant huff if you start calling him a cat, tho)

𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐎 ᥫ᭡

Sadly, purring is not a feature homunculi come with. But this is Albedo we’re talking about, he can definitely figure it out.

He won’t tell you just what idea you’ve sparked with your question— you always worry when he starts self-experimenting —but it’ll be fine! He takes all the necessary precautions, limits any risk, because there’s always some risk in life, and downs a concoction or two in his quest to see if he can change the makeup of his own body. As an artificial life form, he’s less delicate than an organic one, so he doesn’t need to worry about pesky issues like rearranging his (non-existent) organs in a fatal manner.

And it works! Well, sort of. You come back home to a boyfriend that is fully capable of purring!! And also!! Has, uh, cat ears…

Albedo would consider it a success— he accomplished his goal, even if there were a few side effects. And you get a pretty catboy equipped with the cute, twitching ears and a fuzzy blonde tail; everybody wins! ♡

Of course, there’s always the chance his experiment just turns him into a cat entirely… but it wears off after a day or so, so it’s not the worst thing Albedo’s done to himself.

Either way, congratulations, he can now purr for the next 24 hours. And regardless of his cat-to-boy ratio, he will be expecting pets. Get to it~

𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈 ᥫ᭡

He has bird vocalisations! Except he’s worse at hiding it then Xiao may or may not be. It’s not outright chirping, but it is a cooing trill in the back of his throat, too vibrational to be a regular hum.

It’s the sound he makes when he’s perfectly content, laying in a warm patch of sun on the soft grass, sat atop a roof with alcohol warming his veins, and curled up in your arms, round cheek smushed against your chest. He takes in a deep breath, filling his lungs with your scent, and then releasing it in a sigh, accompanied by the musical tones of his little trill.

He makes shorter ones when he’s pleasantly surprised; when you unexpectedly toss him an apple or pat his head. He’ll grin or lean into the touch and make that sound in his throat. Too quiet to be heard by the people around you over the din of the town, but you’ll hear it. It’s a sound just for you ♡

[bitebitekxll]

Kinktober ‘24 || Day 6

NSFW || MDNI

sex work | overstimulation | mind break

Thoma x gender neutral top!reader

Notes: I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN OVER MY SMUT BURNOUT. Gonna be back to working my way through the kinktober days (no one ever finishes these in time anyways, right?) Reader tops but you can see it as AMAB or a strap, it’s referred to as a ‘cock’ but not specified.

Not proof-reading this so if there’s a typo, no there isn’t <3

Masterlist . Kink list

THOMA being among the first to hear about the Irodori Festival, as close as he is with the Kamisato Siblings. He, like everyone else, is brimming with excitement at this mark of a new era, a sign the war and the Sakoku Decree are truly over.

THOMA running around as his job as a ‘fixer’ and ensuring all the Yashiro Commission's affairs are going smoothly, so determined to make the festival go perfectly that Ayaka and Ayato are forced to order him to take a break for his own health.

THOMA, who is most comfortable when working hard, so of course it’s only a few hours into his first day off that he starts to get antsy. He says he’s fine, laments that he’s basically been put on house arrest but acknowledges that it could do him some good. But you know your boyfriend, and you know he can’t stand being idle when others are working hard. By the time he’s knitted his twelfth animal sweater in the span of two hours, you decide you need to help the poor man get out of his head.

THOMA, who looks like a vision after the fifth orgasm has been wrung out of him; eyes rolled back into his head, face wet with tears and drool. His pale skin flushes so pretty, Mondstadt genetics working hard to ensure he’s as red as the vision laying on the bedside table— all the way down his neck and chest right down to the head of his leaky cock.

THOMA, who can’t even get proper words out anymore, fucked dumb as high pitched whines escape his throat.

THOMA who babbles out your name— or at least, his best approximation of it. Syllables melt together in his mouth and devolve into mindless groans, broken up each time you nail his prostate. “Guh-uh-uh— please~”

THOMA whose eyes might as well have hearts in them, looking up at you with a reverence he could never muster for any archon. Any coherent thought pushed out of his mind, only leaving you, youyouyou—

THOMA cumming dry, nothing left in his balls, but his body twitches gloriously through every aftershock. He whimpers when you try to pull out, ankles locking behind you back as he pulls you closer.

“More, more, ngh… please♡—”

THOMA being addicted to the pleasure, demanding you don’t stop. Even when he starts to cry, even when it starts to hurt, even when he’s past the point of even a dry orgasm. Fuck this poor man until his eyes roll back into his head and he checks out entirely. Maybe he’s unconscious, maybe his brain has just fried beyond repair and there’s not a drop of intelligence left to be demonstrated.

THOMA will be fine tomorrow, after all. He’ll be dressed smartly; ever the capable retainer and friendly fixer of Inazuma. But today, keep him in the state he’s happiest in: broken, wet and full of your cock♡~

[bitebitekxll]

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

[bitebitekxll]

you're homosexual

[bitebitekxll]

one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.

[bitebitekxll]

shut up i’m busy having a fake relationship with a fictional character right now

[bitebitekxll]

POV: Genshin Isekai but you make it a shooter game

Based on this thread with @bunniotomia

(Does this warrant a blood tw tag? Please tell me I genuinely don’t know)

[bitebitekxll]

Ahhh I see

Well the horsemen was your idea, so I’ll follow your lead, as long as they too are an avatar of chaos

Physical Catalyst

Notes: Years ago I read an isekai fic that referred to guns as ‘physical catalysts’ which is where I got the name from (haven’t been able to find it but I’ll link it if I do) but the rest are just my own musings about a reader with a gun in Teyvat. Also first attempt at making a divider, but I think it’s kinda cool

So whether it’s SAGAU or regular isekai, imagine reader is in Teyvat, no one knows they’re not from Teyvat, and they have a gun.

This in and of itself isn’t a big deal, most people carry weapons in this world and tons of them have guns. But the thing is, they’re not the same as real world guns, are they?

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but every case of guns we’ve seen in genshin (pyro fatui skirmishers, Chevreuse) shoot out what looks like elemental energy. Maybe they’re bullets infused with elemental energy, like what we see with the arrows for the bow users, except the bow users can still shoot regular arrows. We never see the guns shoot regular/non elemental bullets.

Which is why my theory (that might be pulled apart in a future update but for now…) is that they don’t exist. Teyvat guns are capable of shooting elemental energy, maybe fuelled by the wielder’s vision/delusion or maybe using some kind of pellets, but they are not equipped to shoot with the force needed to make a regular bullet be of any use.

So when reader shows up and has a gun from their world? Oh boy. A handgun is no weapon of mass destruction, but anything that can take down a lawachurl in one well-aimed headshot will terrify Teyvat’s inhabitants. I mean, their guns do damage too, sure, but it’s a relative amount. A burn from a shot of pyro, a shock from a shot of electro. The concept of a gun that can instantly kill someone, quicker and easier than an arrow? Using a tiny piece of metal that isn’t even sharp and doesn’t explode? You are going to throw entire nations into chaos.

If word gets out about it, you’re gonna have law enforcement from across all the continent investigating you, not to mention the fatui— be prepared for the harbingers to be hunting down your ass trying to get their hands on such a powerful weapon

Of course that’s only if you let the cat out of the bag. Use your weapon away from prying eyes, and you’ll probably be fine. Dead hiluchurls tell no tales, after all. Or men, if you’re more chill with murder.

It probably wouldn’t be too hard to find a metalsmith who could take one of your bullets and make more. Though I wonder what explanation you’d give as to what it is, without giving away the ‘deadliest handheld weapon in history’ thing.

Idk I just think the introduction of bullet-operated guns in Teyvat is interesting, might write some stuff for the different characters reactions to it at some point

[bitebitekxll]

@bunniotomia They were the third, no? Then oc mercenary is 4th (unless I misunderstood smth I’m tired rn lol)

Physical Catalyst

Notes: Years ago I read an isekai fic that referred to guns as ‘physical catalysts’ which is where I got the name from (haven’t been able to find it but I’ll link it if I do) but the rest are just my own musings about a reader with a gun in Teyvat. Also first attempt at making a divider, but I think it’s kinda cool

So whether it’s SAGAU or regular isekai, imagine reader is in Teyvat, no one knows they’re not from Teyvat, and they have a gun.

This in and of itself isn’t a big deal, most people carry weapons in this world and tons of them have guns. But the thing is, they’re not the same as real world guns, are they?

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but every case of guns we’ve seen in genshin (pyro fatui skirmishers, Chevreuse) shoot out what looks like elemental energy. Maybe they’re bullets infused with elemental energy, like what we see with the arrows for the bow users, except the bow users can still shoot regular arrows. We never see the guns shoot regular/non elemental bullets.

Which is why my theory (that might be pulled apart in a future update but for now…) is that they don’t exist. Teyvat guns are capable of shooting elemental energy, maybe fuelled by the wielder’s vision/delusion or maybe using some kind of pellets, but they are not equipped to shoot with the force needed to make a regular bullet be of any use.

So when reader shows up and has a gun from their world? Oh boy. A handgun is no weapon of mass destruction, but anything that can take down a lawachurl in one well-aimed headshot will terrify Teyvat’s inhabitants. I mean, their guns do damage too, sure, but it’s a relative amount. A burn from a shot of pyro, a shock from a shot of electro. The concept of a gun that can instantly kill someone, quicker and easier than an arrow? Using a tiny piece of metal that isn’t even sharp and doesn’t explode? You are going to throw entire nations into chaos.

If word gets out about it, you’re gonna have law enforcement from across all the continent investigating you, not to mention the fatui— be prepared for the harbingers to be hunting down your ass trying to get their hands on such a powerful weapon

Of course that’s only if you let the cat out of the bag. Use your weapon away from prying eyes, and you’ll probably be fine. Dead hiluchurls tell no tales, after all. Or men, if you’re more chill with murder.

It probably wouldn’t be too hard to find a metalsmith who could take one of your bullets and make more. Though I wonder what explanation you’d give as to what it is, without giving away the ‘deadliest handheld weapon in history’ thing.

Idk I just think the introduction of bullet-operated guns in Teyvat is interesting, might write some stuff for the different characters reactions to it at some point