#cause you know dennis is THAT bitch

[nostalgic-shamefest]

I've realised I only like ships were one person is absolutely baffled by the fact that they want to fuck the other

[badnew2005]

i know i have been inactive but i fear yous do Not talk about dennis literally killing himself near enough

[megalony]

Meet My Family- Part 2

Okay, it's taken me a while but here is the second part of my Evan Buckley imagine. I hope you will all like it, thank you for the lovely feedback on the first part.

Please let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Now that Evan's team have met his family and his son, his family have been invited to a birthday party and Evan is touched how everyone makes an effort with his son. (Autistic son)

Enjoy.

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"What's this?" Evan tilted his head back against the sofa and squinted up at Hen who was stood behind him.

She had a cheesy grin spread across her face and one brow arched up in that manner that implied something was going on or that she had some kind of plan formulating in her head. Both her hands planted down on the sofa either side of his shoulders and she leaned forward and indicated her head towards the envelope she had just handed down to him.

"What does it look like?"

Evan rolled his eyes and leaned forward, focusing on opening the pale blue envelope which had Buckley's written on the back.

His brows rose and he pushed forward so he could spin on the sofa and look up at Hen properly once he looked over the card inside.

It was an invitation.

He glanced over the writing and the painted balloons in the background. Denny was having a birthday party next week, coincidently it was Evan's day off, but he suspected Hen had gone to Bobby and they had done the rota so everyone on the A shift could have the day off together.

But what made Evan's heart rocket in his chest was the names scrawled on the top of the page, clearly in Denny's handwriting. Buck, (Y/n) and Rowan. They were inviting Rowan.

"You're coming, right?" It was more a statement than a question and Evan dreaded to give the wrong answer.

Of course he would go, he thought Denny was a sweet kid and parties with the team were always a fun celebration. And he and (Y/n) had nothing else planned, so they couldn't really say no.

"Yeah, of course."

"How's Rowan with music, he's not sensitive to noises, right?"

"The louder the better… are you, um… I mean, Rowan loves parties, but he doesn't get invited to many."

The hidden question was there behind Evan's words. The tone of his voice was careful, he didn't want to cause offence or seem like he was ungrateful for the invite because he was. But in his and (Y/n)'s extended families, there weren't too many people who took the time to understand Rowan.

Their excuses were the usual kind. It was a party for adults or for older children, Rowan was 'too young' to go or he would be tired easily or it would be too loud for him. It was the polite way of saying they didn't want him there.

Evan didn't want Hen to think she was obligated to invite them if Denny was going to have a lot of school friends round who might not understand or who might just sit and stare at Rowan. That wouldn't be fair on anyone.

"Denny wants to meet him, he's heard Chris talking about him, and we want you all there. He's always gonna be welcome."

Evan nodded and took a deep breath to ward off the tears that were starting to burn behind his eyes and nose. The team had met Rowan twice, the first time when they came down to the hospital and again when Evan brought him to the station.

And he had gone to Eddie's house to meet Chris, which had gone down so well that Rowan didn't want to go home.

"You sure? He'll try to explore and take the toys and the food and if he's excited you'll hear him for miles." Evan's tone softened, he wasn't trying to put Hen off or make her change her mind, he just wanted her to know what she was agreeing to.

Rowan was a handful, but Evan wouldn't have him any other way. Rowan would explore Hen's house because it was a new environment and he was curious. He would try and take any present he saw that took his fancy, if he was hungry he would want to pinch the food whether it was time to eat or not. And he was very vocal, if Rowan was excited his noises got louder. He would squeal and scream and laugh and clap because it was his way of expressing himself when he couldn't use words.

"Buck, you've just described every kid that's gonna be there, don't worry, it's gonna be a great day. None of you have allergies, right?"

"Just Pica." The playful smirk on Evan's face made Hen smile and she nodded, patting his shoulder while she rolled her eyes.

Evan had told the team about Rowan's conditions, one of them being Pica, where he would eat non-food items. It was mainly for sensory feelings, if he looked the look or the smell or the texture of something, he would put it in his mouth to learn and explore. Which was why all the cleaning products were locked away in a cupboard in Evan's home, and why they had to keep an eye on Rowan at all times.

When Hen walked back into the kitchen, Evan smiled and nodded to himself. It was going to be an eventful day, if anything. One that he was now looking forward to.

"Are we ready?" (Y/n) looked between her two boys with a smile that was a little apprehensive.

The only one out of the three of them who was any good at parties was Evan. (Y/n) was too nervous and never knew what to do or what to say, she ended up sitting in a corner barely conversing with anyone. And no one knew how to act with Rowan, there was only a handful of people who knew how to interact with him and who were happy to sit with him and try to engage in his ways of play.

Whereas everyone got along with Evan, he was always smiling and knew how to joke around and could intergrate into any conversation and community.

But this was a children's party. (Y/n) knew this was going to be a lot easier than the usual kind of party. She could interact with kids, she knew how to be on their level and understand them and play their games and she had a lot of patience for children.

"Off we go," Evan grinned and tugged on Rowan's hand as they approached the front door to Hen's house.

He kept hold of Rowan's hand and tugged his boy back to his side when the five year old went to push the door. He had a tendency to try and walk into houses straight after knocking, Rowan didn't grasp the part about waiting to be invited inside. He thought it was like going home or going to his grandparent's house, he could walk right in and the door would be unlocked and people would be welcoming.

"Hi! Denny will be thrilled you're all here, come in." Karen opened the door, a wide smile on her face as she ushered them inside. "Hi Rowan." A gentle look washed over Karen's face and she waved her hand at him.

She had heard Hen talk about him, about how it was a surprise to find out Evan had a family of his own and how sweet she thought Rowan was when she met him at the hospital. They were all excited to meet him, and Denny was always open to making new friends.

The five year old studied her curiously as he swayed back and forth, pulling on Evan's hand like it was a rope swing. But he waved at her nonetheless which caused her smile to widen.

"Everyone's out in the garden."

They followed Karen down to the kitchen and out the back door where the noise level raised and the chaos ensued.

There were a lot of balloons tied around the fence, some tied to the few tables outside and placed around the garden with weights to keep them from floating off into space. A banner of Happy Birthday was pinned against the fence on the right side of the garden above the buffet table.

(Y/n) could see something that would grab Rowan's attention towards the back of the garden. A paddling pool. Rowan was very sensory and he loved the swimming pool, if they weren't careful he would be straight in there in his clothes and they wouldn't be able to get him out. And next to the pool was a sandbox that was usually closed up but today was wide open with spades and buckets and a signpost that (Y/n) couldn't read from this far away.

They didn't get very far before Denny spotted them and it was heartwarming to see his bright smile when he realised they had arrived. He had been waiting desperately to meet Rowan.

Denny was sat near the sandbox with Chris who was eyeing the buffet like he was desperate to go over there and try everything. Chris had already met Rowan and they were all pleased that the pair of them seemed to be very happy in each other's company. Chris was a little unsure at first that when he spoke, Rowan didn't give a response. But he could see Rowan knew what was being said and he would smile or pat Chris's hand or just murmur as a way of response.

"You're here!" He bounded over to them with a wide smile and bounds of energy radiating off of him. He stood next to Karen who placed her hand on his shoulder. "I'm Denny."

(Y/n) was quite surprised that Denny's smile actually widened when Rowan made a little humming noise. Maybe he had been told Rowan was non-verbal and thought that meant he didn't make any sounds at all. But it was so lovely to see someone eager to play with Rowan and just be in his presence. They wanted Rowan to have a normal childhood, as normal as possible, and connect with people and make friends.

When (Y/n) held the present they had brought in front of Rowan and nodded towards Denny, the five year old took the hint. He grabbed the bag with haste and thrust it towards Denny with determination in his eyes and his other hand still clinging to Evan.

"Thank you," Denny carefully took the present and looked up at his mum who nodded and took it from him so it could be put with the rest of the presents inside for him to open later.

"Mum's doing a scavenger hunt in the sandbox. Do you want to join?" Denny held his hand out and waited patiently. He knew Rowan might not want to take his hand because he didn't know him, but he thought it was worth a try.

The young boy looked up at Evan, made a 'me me' noise and took Denny's hand. He kept hold of his dad's hand too, dragging Evan along like they were in a chain or a congo but it was enough to make Denny grin. And (Y/n) could barely focus on breathing when all she could feel was surprise and love and happiness.

Denny walked slow enough so they could trot side by side towards Hen, Athena's son Harry and Chris and Eddie. They were all stood near the sandbox and Evan took a moment to look around.

"Scavenger hunt?" (Y/n) looked towards Karen as they both moved to head over to where Athena, Bobby, Chimney and Maddie were all sat nearby with the radio blasting eighties tunes in the background.

"Hen's buried sweets and little fidget toys in the sandbox. They'll have to dig around for buried treasure."

Evan took to looking in the sandbox to get a better view and see what Hen had been up to. He loved the effort they had put in to making games for the kids, it was more than Evan ever had in his childhood, he never had any big parties or fun celebrations for anything in his life. Not his birthday, not to celebrate leaving school or getting into college. His parents were only ever happy to be at a party for Evan when he got married.

He wanted things to be different for Rowan.

Rowan began swaying back and forth, unsure what they were doing or why they were stood waiting near the sand. He knew he didn't usually get to play in the sandbox at school. He had a tendency to put the sand in his mouth because of his Pica and on the odd occasions when he was taken to the beach, one parent always had hold of him at all times so he couldn't try anything.

He started to hum and tick his head back and forth like he was dancing to the music before he suddenly let go of each hand he had been holding. He weaved around the sandbox and made a little squeal as he bounced on his tiptoes and made a beeline for the buffet table.

"Not yet buddy." Evan trotted behind him and clamped his hands down on Rowan's shoulders.

A squeal of protest left Rowan's lips and his brows furrowed as he pointed at the table and stomped his foot.

"No, not yet. Games first."

When Rowan tried to stomp his foot and reach out for a bowl of crisps, Evan moved quickly. He could just envision that bowl going flying and crisps scattering across the floor. He looped his hands beneath Rowan's arms and spun him round in the other direction.

He knelt down in front of the sandbox and gently sat Rowan on his knees as the boys all knelt in the sandbox, ready to dig for treasure.

When Hen said the boys could start digging, Evan handed Rowan a plastic spade and encouraged him to start to dig with everyone else. Rowan seemed content to look at the others for a while, he had never known objects to be hidden in the sand like this. He watched Denny dig up a lollipop and when Chris found a bag of Haribos and pointed to the sand, Rowan started to dig, if a bit lazily.

A very lovely, cheeky smile flooded Rowan's face after a few minutes and he dunked his left hand down into the sand. His fingers curled into his palm and spread out again to feel the sand tickling his palm and flooding between his fingers.

He burrowed his hands down into the sand, grabbed fistfuls and pulled his hands back up. He watched, fascinated, as the sand fell through his fingers like droplets of rain.

His lips parted in a cheeky smile and he locked eyes with Hen just as he poked his tongue over his lower lip towards the sand.

"Ah-ah, don't do that thank you." Evan pressed his lips to the top of Rowan's head and enclosed his large hand around his son's to prevent him from putting his hand in his mouth. He knew what he was doing. He was looking to see if anyone would notice or tell him off.

His head tilted back against Evan's chest as he started to giggle.

He did it for the texture, not to try and eat the sand because he was hungry or desperate. It was a fixation, a sensory feeling, putting things in his mouth was Rowan's way of getting a sensory fix and feeling textures and learning.

"I think you've had enough sand." Evan murmured against the top of Rowan's head before he glanced over at Hen. "Is he okay to wander round a bit?" He would hate to let Rowan wander if Hen wanted all the kids to stay together or to stay in the garden. Rowan liked to explore and that might mean scouting round the kitchen.

"Sure, go have fun."

Evan let Rowan take the lead, he let his boy wander round the garden, not really looking for anything in particular. He was getting to know this new environment, getting used to new surroundings and familiar people and loud noises and different smells.

Evan followed him round, hands in his pockets and a grin on his face. Rowan was doing better than he expected. His boy wasn't screaming or having a meltdown from a sensory overload. He wasn't banging on the tables and chairs or fighting to get at the buffet table and he was being his version of sociable. He wasn't frowning and pushing Denny or Chris away which he sometimes did when he was tired or overwhelmed.

He seemed happy wandering around with his head nodding back and forth and his hands shaking at his sides in stims.

"Hi mister, what're you up to?" Bobby leaned his head to one side as he looked down at Rowan when the five year old paused in front of him.

His big wide eyes stared up at Bobby before he fell into a fit of giggles. He recognised him from seeing him at the hospital and again when Bobby had visited their home for the first time. He reached up and tugged on Bobby's hand, swinging it back and forth before he started to pull him down.

Bobby obliged and crouched down to be level with him, only to have Rowan's cheeky smile widen and his hands started grabbing at the cup in Bobby's free hand.

"Buddy, ask nicely."

He knew not to try and take what he wanted. His head turned to look up at Evan before he turned back towards Bobby and gently patted his wrist. Rowan's sign to imply that he himself wanted a drink.

"Come and show me what you want to drink then."

The Captain took Rowan's hand and they both headed towards the buffet table where there were at least four different bottles of pop and some jugs of juice set out. He knew Rowan could point and choose for himself, he just needed them to be poured for him.

Evan rolled his lips together and dragged his hand across his jaw, unable to hide his beaming smile as he watched his Captain take great care to try and understand his son. Bobby was nodding and humming along to the noises Rowan was making and when they reached the table, Bobby crouched down to Rowan's level and politely asked him to pick what he would like.

Everyone seemed to be understanding Rowan completely and they accepted every little whim and way he had.

The party was going better than expected.

***

"Have you had enough, baby?" (Y/n) tilted her head to the left to where Rowan was sat beside her. He was close enough that his arm was resting on her thigh and their legs were touching, he didn't like to be far apart.

She gently stroked her fingers through his hair as he began humming and pushed his paper plate away, his signal that he was finished.

The boys had been sat very close to the buffet table in case they wanted seconds. They had been sat in a big circle on the grass to have their dinner while the rest of the 118 were in the chairs near the radio, finishing off their food. But Rowan wouldn't stray far from his parents when it was time to eat.

He wasn't much of a fussy eater, he would eat a lot of various things, but if Rowan was at a strange place, he was self-conscious. He didn't like people looking at him when he was eating and he could get overwhelmed when he heard other people eating and the different sounds they made.

And both parents wanted him close by just in case he tried to take something from someone else's plate. He didn't do that often but they didn't want him to start that habit today.

"Good boy," (Y/n) looped her arm around his shoulders so he could snuggle into her side. She was sat on the grass in between Evan's legs with her head resting on his thigh and his legs squeezing into her sides. And every now and then she felt his hand holding her shoulder or feathering up and down her neck as he peppered kisses to the top of her head.

She looked down at Rowan when he started to bash his palm against his mouth, making popping sounds like he was kissing his hand. When he started rocking back and forth, she uncurled her arm from him so he could move around without bashing into her.

(Y/n) looked to the right and she smiled when Chris plonked down on his knees next to her. He looked between her and Evan, clearly wanting to speak to them and be in their company for a while since everyone else was still either eating or chatting and listening to the music.

"I've been learning some new tricks." His wide grin made (Y/n) raise her brow and she tilted her head back to look up at Evan who hummed.

"Oh yeah, like what?" Evan rested his elbows on his knees and his hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders so he could lean over her. His lips pressed to the top of her head but his eyes were firmly focused on watching Chris.

They knew he was trying to learn some little magic tricks, he was venturing into lots of games and different tricks to amuse himself. He was much like Evan in the sense that he took up a lot of different activities and didn't like to stick to just one thing.

It was why they had so much fun when Chris came round and watched documentaries with Evan or when they all went to the zoo or the aquarium.

They listened eagerly as Chris explained what he was trying to do and showed them a trick.

"Pound?" Chris bit his lower lip and held his palm out towards Evan who huffed and rummaged around in his pocket.

"Is this payment, or are you showing us another trick?" He wasn't sure whether Chris was just being cheeky and asking for a coin because he had showed them a good trick. Or whether he needed one to try and perform another magic trick.

"Both."

Evan looked over at Eddie who was sat in the chair next to him. "You do realise I'm being swindled over here?"

Eddie shrugged. He had taught Chris well, it wasn't his fault if Evan always fell for it or always gave in because he was soft at heart.

He dropped a coin into the palm of Chris's hand before he curled his left arm around (Y/n)'s chest just beneath her neck and leaned to press a sloppy kiss to her cheek. He felt her hand curl around his arm and she leaned into his touch and peppered a few hollow kisses up his arm.

Her smile widened when Chris muttered a small "Okay," to himself and he shuffled closer until his knees nudged into (Y/n)'s leg. And he reached out to take (Y/n)'s free hand so he could use her hand as part of the trick.

(Y/n) leaned into Evan's touch and watched Chris intently, but she gasped and shot upright when Rowan suddenly grabbed her.

His hands scrunched up in her leggings and he made a deep whining sound as he scrambled to climb onto her lap. She pushed back into Evan and tried to part her legs so Rowan could sit between them but she couldn't help but groan when he continued to stand and clamber over her like she was a piece of furniture.

"Rowan," She groaned his name and tried to gently nudge him but her gasp turned into a cough when he stood up on her thighs and flopped into her chest, pushing her back into Evan.

"Rowan don't do that." Evan moved his arm that was around (Y/n)'s chest to nudge Rowan back but it didn't work.

The five year old started to make a low grumbling noise and the way he ground his jaw from side to side showed he wasn't happy. His nose crinkled and his lips jutted out before he reached his hand down and grabbed (Y/n)'s wrist, pulling her hand away from Chris.

When Evan noticed the movement, he sighed and bit his tongue to stop from rolling his eyes.

Rowan was getting possessive. He loved being around people, and he loved getting close to people and having their attention, but the same couldn't be said for his parents. He didn't like either (Y/n) or Evan interacting with other people, he thought they should be focused on him and only him.

Seeing (Y/n) playing with Chris made him upset, he wanted her attention, he didn't want her giving her attention to anyone else. They were his parents, not Chris's.

"Chris is doing magic, look." (Y/n) looped her left arm around Rowan's waist and tried to tug him to the side a little so he wasn't smothering her front. She kissed his cheek and let him lean into her chest while she sat back against Evan who kept an arm draped loosely over her shoulder.

She held her hand back out since she still had the coin burning into her palm and Chris tried to do the trick again, but Rowan wasn't impressed.

He pushed forward into (Y/n)'s chest and batted his hand out to whack her hand away from Chris.

"Ro, wanna come sit over here with me?" Eddie put his drink down on the grass beside his chair and reached his hands out in front of him. He wouldn't mind if Rowan wanted to come and sit with him, he would happily entertain him and play with him for a while.

But he wasn't interested. He let out another disgruntled whine, and before either parent could try and say anything, Rowan lurched his right arm out. He looped his arm around the back of (Y/n)'s neck and yanked her forward towards him with a bit too much force.

The movement shook (Y/n) off balance and she gasped when her forehead smashed into Rowan's.

"Fuck!"

A blinding pain shot through her temple and errupted behind her eyes that immediately began to water and pour tears down the bridge of her nose. She couldn't help the yelp she let out and her head flopped back onto Evan's thigh as she let go of Rowan to cradle her nose and temple. For a moment (Y/n) thought he'd given her a nosebleed, but she was relieved to see no blood coating her fingers or trickling down the back of her throat.

Leaning down, Evan cupped (Y/n)'s chin and tilted her head up in his direction and he gently moved her hands away so he could take a look. His fingers skimmed across her temple, wincing when she shivered and pulled back.

"You okay babe?"

"God, that hurt," (Y/n) groaned quietly but she didn't look up at Evan for long, her gaze switched back down to their boy.

He flopped down to sit between (Y/n)'s legs, hands cupping his neck and dragging his nails down his skin in long, deep scratches. Whines and deep cries rumbled past his lips and tears streaked down his face. He hadn't meant to pull (Y/n) harsh enough to headbutt her and it had clearly hurt him. He didn't have a high pain threshold.

"Come here, you're okay." Eddie hopped up from his chair and reached forward to scoop Rowan up and sit back down with him.

He perched the five year old on his knee and cocooned his arms around him, wiping away the tears. And he gently held Rowan's hand to stop him from scratching at his neck. He was rather surprised when Rowan leaned into him and pushed into his chest tight enough that Eddie had to take shallow breaths.

It had been a while since Eddie had patched Chris up after a fall or an accident and he smiled softly when Rowan burrowed into him rather than trying to scramble away.

"What were you doing, hm?"

"Getting possessive," Evan answered with a certain look and raised brows which caused Rowan to frown. He may not have understood the words, but he knew that look all too well. "He doesn't like our attention going to anyone else."

"So no more kids then?" Chimney spoke around the rim of his glass, his nose crinkling as he tried to dampen his smile a little.

He chuckled quietly at the sideways look he got from Evan and the way (Y/n)pushed out her lower lip to distort a smirk. They hadn't thought about that aspect. They were trying to focus on showing Rowan that it was okay for them to give attention to other people and other kids, that he wasn't missing out or being pushed aside.

He couldn't get this upset every time they tried to talk to people or be sociable, he had to learn that it was okay for their attention to be shared with other people.

Especially if, in the future, (Y/n) and Evan thought about having another baby. It wouldn't bode well if Rowan thought it was okay to be possessive over them and then he had to learn from an older age that he had to share them with a sibling.

"Show me again." (Y/n) whispered softly as she held her hand back out towards Chris and nodded for him to redo the trick he hadn't managed to finish with Rowan's little outburst.

She leaned her cheek against Evan's thigh and did her best to keep her eyes open despite the raging headache throbbing behind her eyes and nose. Both her and Evan kept darting their eyes over at Eddie, but he seemed happy as ever quietly chatting to Rowan who was no longer in fits of tears. The toddler was curled up into his chest, humming softly and holding Eddie's hand, letting out a little sniffle every now and then.

Just as Chris finished his magic trick, they all looked up when Denny jogged over to them with a wide grin.

"Mum said we can go in the pool, are you coming?" Denny hovered by the side of them, a hopeful look on his face that brightened as he looked between Chris and Rowan.

Evan was rather surprised Rowan hadn't made a beeline for the pool already, he was one for water, he was like a duck. He couldn't exactly swim but he would paddle and splash and he wasn't afraid to go further into the water at the local swimming pool as long as someone was alongside him. It was one of his preferred activities and something Evan and (Y/n) tried to do with him every week.

With a quick glance over at Eddie, Chris got up and whipped off his shirt which he tossed next to his dad's chair. And when Evan nodded, Eddie leaned forward and gently set Rowan down to his feet and motioned to his shirt.

"Are we off in the water?" When Eddie pointed to the paddling pool, a lovable, excited scream left Rowan's lips before he started patting his hand rather forcefully against his lips to stim. "Alright," Eddie grinned and helped him off with his shirt, he was wearing shorts so he would be fine in the water and (Y/n) had a bag with spare clothes for later.

(Y/n) patted Evan's thigh and tilted her head up to steal a quick kiss before she got up and hurried after Rowan. He needed to be supervised because too many people in a small paddling pool with him was a recipe for Rowan getting overwhelmed. He might try and push people out his way or lash out at them if they were overwhelming him or getting too close.

Once the other kids were in the pool, Rowan seemed to assess the paddling pool. (Y/n) wasn't sure what he was looking for or what he was thinking until he moved towards the left corner of the square pool, then she realised.

He wanted to sit on his own.

Rowan didn't want to be splashing about with everyone else because the pool wasn't big. It wasn't like the swimming pool where people could have their own space, this was a decent sized pool for a back garden, but with four other kids in there, Rowan clearly didn't want to be cramped.

He carefully climbed over the side and flopped into the water like a fish back in its habitat. He sat down with his legs crossed and the water settled just on top of his thighs. His arms threw out at his sides and he splashed his hands down in the water so that it prayed up around him and created bubbles between his fingers. The cold water didn't seem to shock or bother him, he didn't even shiver.

A cheeky smile lit up Rowan's face when Denny handed him one of the spades from the sandbox so he could splash properly and flick the water up.

He shovelled up the water and started to stim, flicking his wrist so the water sprinkled slowly over the edges of the shovel and rained down onto his legs.

"You ever take him to the pool?" Eddie's words caught Evan off guard and broke him out of his thoughts.

He tilted his head to the left, watching his friend as they both moved to sit down nearer to their boys in the pool. Evan smiled when he caught sight of (Y/n) knelt beside Rowan with her arms folded on the edge of the pool. She wasn't splashing or trying to gain his attention, she was just hanging back and seeing how he faired for a while.

Evan sat down with his elbows perched on his thighs and his hands clasped together on his lap while he nodded. "Yeah, yeah he loves going to the pool."

"Could… do you think he'd be happy if me and Chris could join? Chris gets nervous in the pool, I thought going with friends might make him a bit more confident." Eddie didn't want to impose or presume and he wouldn't want to suggest it if Rowan would get too overstimulated or panicked if others joined them in a routine he usually did with his parents.

But if he might be okay with it, Eddie hoped it might help Chris. He wasn't the best swimmer and he was nervous in the pool about people watching, and if his feet couldn't touch the floor, he wouldn't go any further.

Maybe if he went with a group, with Evan and (Y/n) and Rowan he might feel more at ease. And it could be fun to splash around and play in the pool with Rowan as well as try to swim.

"I think he'd enjoy that."

(Y/n) perched her chin on her arm and smiled softly at the boys as they splashed around. But when one of them began to flick and splash at the others and they all retaliated, she saw Rowan flinch. He twisted to the right and shuffled until his side was pressed into the rubbery plastic edge of the paddling pool, staying close to his mum and turning his back to the rest of them.

He continued to splash for a while, kicking his legs so his heels thrashed in the water and cold droplets continued to scatter across his skin.

He let out hums and little noises that sounded like he was singing while he tucked his chin down into his chest and stared down at the lapping water. He could still hear the music playing in the background, but (Y/n) knew he would be focusing on the closer surrounding sounds. The sounds of the boys laughing and screeching and continuously moving and kicking around the pool was going to be more loud and distracting for Rowan.

After about ten minutes, Rowan flopped his head onto (Y/n)'s arm. He stayed cuddled up in the corner, but he seemed relieved when some of the boys climbed out the pool and ran over to the drinks table.

His stimming continued and he started to curl his fingers and he dropped the spade in favour of slamming his palm down into the water and patting the bottom of the pool. He stayed content as (Y/n) kissed the top of his head and ran her hand up and down his back.

Things seemed to be going well until someone popped a balloon.

Loud noises frightened Rowan. Whenever a car or a motorbike drove past and the engine banged, he would shudder and jump a mile. Balloons bursting made a horrid echo and was as frightening to Rowan as a gunshot to everyone else.

"Boys, be careful please-"

As soon as another balloon popped, Rowan screeched. His eyes screwed shut, his jaw dropped like a silent scream, his version of another stim and he began violently rocking back and forth. His heels slammed down into the pool so tightly and roughly that it would undoubtedly bruise the back of his heels.

"Baby-" (Y/n) bit her lower lip when she tried to move her arms forward to try and hold Rowan, but he fought off her touch. His hands lifted up and planted down on either side of his neck and he began digging his short nails into his skin. He dragged them down hard and fast, raking his fingers up and down until blood welled beneath his fingernails and deep scratches welled up on his skin.

His scream pierced through her ears and when she held his wrists to try and pull his hands away. She didn't want him to have a full meltdown here, not when he'd been having such a good day so far and enjoying himself.

"Baby come on, it's okay, you're okay."

She couldn't pull his hands away for more than two seconds before he was crying and moving his hands back to scratching his neck. So (Y/n) settled for slipping her hands beneath his arms to lift him up out of the pool. His elbows thrashed into her shoulders and chest and when his knee collided with her stomach, (Y/n) choked on the little air left in her lungs.

She managed to get Rowan out of the pool and got him sat down on the grass beside her.

He couldn't keep having a meltdown out here, (Y/n) had to get him inside so he was somewhere quieter, safer and secluded so no one could see. It wasn't fair for everyone to see him like this and it was Denny's party. But (Y/n) could already hear the music had been turned off and everyone was as quiet as a mouse. No one moved closer and all the boys took a few steps back, wanting to help but not knowing how.

None of the team had witnessed Rowan having a meltdown, they had only seen him a handful of times and were still getting to know him.

"Okay buddy, come here."

(Y/n) looked up when Evan was suddenly knelt in front of them, speaking a bit louder to be heard over Rowan's cries. He had taken one of the vacant towels from a nearby chair and when (Y/n) managed to pull Rowan's hands from his neck, Evan swooped in with the towel. He wrapped it around Rowan's shoulders and high up on his neck to prevent him from being able to scratch and draw anymore blood.

As soon as it was around him, Evan swooped him up in his arms and got to his feet. He shivered at feeling his boy scream into his neck and he could feel his legs bashing and kicking into his abdomen to try and get free, but he tried to ignore the feeling.

(Y/n) watched Evan hurry ahead towards the kitchen and she paused in her tracks of following him to look at Karen.

"I- I'm sorry, the balloons-"

"Don't be sorry, he's not done anything wrong."

"You can turn the music back on and carry on, don't let this spoil their fun. Once he's calmed down he'll be fine." It wouldn't be fair on Denny and the boys if they kept the music off and effectively stopped the party. They were all having fun and the party wasn't over yet, they could go back to their games.

This was something that happened for Rowan, he would get frightened or overwhelmed or too stimulated and he would have a meltdown. He would scream or cry or sometimes he just went mute and lashed out of they tried to interact with him. But it was becoming more and more frequent that he would hurt himself, whether that was scratching his skin or slamming his hands on the walls. It was his way of a release.

She made her way into the kitchen to find Evan sat on the floor, cross-legged with his back up against a cupboard and Rowan in his arms. The five year old was leant back into his chest, hands clearly stimming beneath the towel and his body violently rocking back and forth as he switched from screaming to crying instead.

"Alright, it's alright Ro, you're okay." Evan repeated the little mantra a few times as (Y/n) moved to sit down beside him on the floor.

They knew they couldn't overwhelm him with words and too much conversation. They couldn't bombard him and ask what was wrong or tell him what to do or say too many different things because it would just confuse and overwhelm him. The same few things were all he needed to calm him down. He needed reassurance and understanding.

When the shaking started to subside, (Y/n) leaned across and very slowly ran her fingers through Rowan's damp curls, brushing them back on his head so they were out of his face.

She paused and leaned back, unsure what Rowan was about to do when he suddenly writhed in Evan's arms and flung off the towel that was seemingly too constricting for him. But she breathed in relief when Rowan scuttled onto her lap instead.

He stood between her legs with his damp chest pushing forward on hers and he instantly looped his arms tightly around her neck. His cheek leaned on her shoulder and he began panting rather than crying, clearly having exhausted himself.

His eyes locked with Evan while he moved back and forth against (Y/n)'s chest, stimming and rocking in her arms to try and stay calm. But Evan was relieved when Rowan didn't cry or try to push him away when he cupped the back of Rowan's head and leaned over to kiss his temple.

"You're okay, buddy."

He was steadily calming down, and he would be a lot happier when they got back home in his comfort zone where he could relax with both parents.

[luckieduckiie]

im fried | d. dennis

you and your friend are in the club and you spot future… or you think you do.

the lights were dim, a little too dim some may say, but it didnt help that you were drunk either. too drunk, and well maybe a little high too.

“bro, is that future ?” you say to your friend, pulling her close, your eyes wide as you point to the dreaded man standing in the vip section.

“bitch!” she exclaims jumping up and down. “it is oh my god! OH MY GOD!”

a grin finds its way to your face as you look at her.

“im the shit bitch i know.” you say smugly. “ im going to go ask for a picture come one.”

you feel her hand grab your belt loop as she follows you throughout the sea of people, a chorus of excuse me’s and sorry’s stream from your lips as you finally get to the edge of his section. as you are looking up at him you notice the diamond smile he had on his face.

“sir, sir excuse me” you say, well yell. the noise was deafening.

he glances down at you and the smile widens.

“yes gorgeous.” he says, a slight southern drawl playing on his tongue and from the sound of that you should have know that it was indeed not mr hendrix as you had initially anticipated.

“ i love your music!” you say exclaim happily.

“ im sorry, what you say?” he questions leaning down over the edge of the wall that was between you two.

“ i love your music,” you say getting closer to his ear giggling. “ cause i am fried yes fried and very fucked up” you recite the lyrics back to him.

a deep laugh errupts from his as he stands back up causing you to look at him quizzically.

“so, can i get a picture?” you yell, confusion setting in.

“ yeah, yall come on up here sweetheart.” he says the word sending shivers down your spine. he motions for you and your friend to come.

he walks over and meets you at the entrance signaling the man guarding it that you could enter.

you immediately go in for a hug without thinking and your friend who is prepared snaps the picture.

“ oh ok, damn.” he laughs wrapping his arms around you large hands gripping your waist. you cant help but bask in his scent. it exudes sex and masculinity. it smells exactly as he look.

“you smell so good.” you say looking up at him head still resting on his chest.

the look he gives you says it all. “ thank ya.” he says smiling at you then licks his lips.

“ yo friend want one too mama?” he asks lowly eyes still locked on yours.

“oh, shit yeah.” you say pulling away, sighing at the loss of his body against yours.

“here girl.” you say reaching for the phone.

she goes over and just wraps her arm around his waist and his over her shoulder, the other going up into a peace sign. a sense of satisfaction arises in you as you see he didnt embrace her just like he did you but leaves as soon as you see the big smile on her face. she was happy for you and you the same for her, besides he wasnt your man anyway.

you click a few pictures and then she pulls away and thanks him coming back over to you and grabbing the phone to look at them

“yall wanna chill with us for a lil bit?” he asks motioning to the group of guys surrounding him.

“yeah.” you reply without even realizing, looking at your friend and she nods too.

“type shit” he says. you both follow him to the couch and as he sits he leaves room for you both on the side of him.

“so where yall from?” he asks looking between the both of you.

“ texas, but we go to school out here!” your friend answers smiling.

“type shit, what yall studying?” he asks curiosity genuine.

“im working on my masters in business and she is currently working on a phd in biology.” she says motioning to you. “she really smart as hell. tell him bout your research” she says smirking at you and you smile in response, her way of saying he yours girl.

his eyes widens as he look at you and you begin to explain, “ uh yeah my thesis is on the rate of duplication in cancer cells in african americans.”

“oh shit, you gone be a doctor.” he asks.

“thats the goal but i dont know shit is crazy.” you say staring at him. as you look you start to realize he is lacking nose piercings and the signature blond on his dreads.

your eyes widen as you come to the realization. “oh my God youre not future.” you exclaim standing up.

a loud laugh erupts from him and your friend stand up as well when she realizes this and she moves to your side.

“thats who you thought i was?” he is able to say between his laugh.

embarrassment burns through your body at this and you begin slightly angry.

“obviously!” you say irritation heavy in your voice.

as he notices this his laugh stops and smile drops.

“yo calm down.” he says reaching a hand out to grab yours and you pull away disgust on your face.

“dont fucking touch me.” you say grabbing your friend. “come on lets go.” you say grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the exit.

“what the fuck.” you hear him say behind you. you dont care, not only did he laugh at you, he lied to you. or at least in your eyes he did and that alone was enough to piss you off and ruin your night- your high too.

yall im really rusty at writing but i got the idea for this when i was high & i think i wanna do another part or two ! let me know what yall think cause there aint enough on here about dada

[casinocarpediem]

• 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐀𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥 •

~~~

𝐓𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲

~~~

• ── ⋆⋅♤♡♧◇⋅⋆ ── •

~ cis! Bottom! Cecil Dennis x Gender Neutral! Top! Reader (there's not enough content of my sweetheart so I'm taking it as my responsibility)

~ Cecil is a little drunk but not too drunk, he can still definitely consent at this state but he's just a little loopy (whether he has alcohol in his system or not he's always loopy anyways lmao)

~ kissing, humping, cock slapping, rubbing, some beer, jacking off, Cecil is a noisy boy, exhibitionism, semi public sex

~ drabble (short-ish)

• ── ⋆⋅♤♡♧◇⋅⋆ ── •

You're at a party with some friends. Some friends you barely even knew. Only popping in because of the alcohol here, and some house exploration. Its a good excuse to roam around places where you definitely shouldn't be going.

And then you meet Cecil. Sitting their on the couch, was he sleeping? Maybe he wa–... nevermind. He's definitely awake. Bottle brought to his mouth and all. You can't help but wander at his stupid outfit. That green old denim jacket and the same old grey sando that would show off his tits to the world. Like it didn't matter to Cecil. Oh, but it definitely mattered to you.

Walking up to him, you can't help but sweet talk him out. Convince him to follow you cause you know a place with more beer. (Technically, you weren't lying. The not so hidden storage room provided a lot of cheap booze and other snacks.)

Of course he says yes, with some small reluctance of not wanting to get off his comfy spot at the couch. He follows you. And you get there and pop a few beers while talking about life and catching up on things.

Eventually. You kiss him, which wasn't the first time anyways so Cecil wasn't as shocked. And it had turned into something a little more desperate. Like humping against each other, tongues sliding against each other so warm while you grope his tits and he squeezes your rear with the same excitement.

Eventually you get his pants off. Stroking his cock through his boxers while he leans his head back against the shelf. Not bothering to quiet down his noises despite the very threat that anybody could catch them. The music was louder anyways. Hand on his crotch, lightly stroking his dick while torturously thumbing the tip of his dick with the edge of your nail and he sobs softly. Leaning his head against your hair, because your face was busy burying itself in his neck. Biting the skin.

You hit him there, not too rough not too soft. Cecil's always been a good boy anyways, and he could take whatever you gave him. So he very pleasantly gasps, his hands squeezing your arm while he whines afterwards. Even the shock surprising him. Until it turns into sobs mixed with soft moaning when you hit him there again and again. Against his balls and his shaft.

That was enough teasing anyways, so you remove his hand and he fucking whimpers. Mourning for the loss of contact. But he quickly stops once you free his cock against the slight cold air of the storage room, shivers against the chill and starts moaning again when you strong his cock. So sensitive and so pink at the tip, basically just inviting you to come unravel him. Maybe in a while again, until the both of you two are in the mood and you'll bring him to a little motel and make him cum until he goes blind.

The mere thought has you squeezing his cock, he swears again. Panting like he's ran a marathon. Looking at you with the softest puppy eyes, it makes you pity him.

So you go a little faster, making sure to softly squeeze and rub his tip with your fingers and palm for even more sensation and to also spread his precum so that moving up and down became easier and easier.

He swears again. This time in a more whiney voice. Degrade him. Call him a bitch for it even, emphasizing on the idea that anybody could stop and walk in and see himself in such a depraved state.

He'll moan louder this time, legs squeezed together slightly as he cums. You jerk him off faster, completely milking him until theres nothing left to offer, covering the concrete floor with his kids.

What does this do? It leaves you with a very sleepy Cecil. So you kiss him on the forehead and he kisses you back and offer him a drive home back to his lovely girlfriend who offers you some chocolate cake for bringing him back home safe in one piece.

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬.

[stormcrow513]

Hey been awhile,

Around a year ago I wrote a vent post about how the crappy neighbors were moving out and king fuckface decided to take one last crap on us,

He'd had some guy mow down all their weeds then he walked around spraying poison aka weed killer all over the whole property,

which do to dickery and bribes to town counsel might as well be planted in my backyard,

The only space I can let my dogs pee,

I am so fucking sensitive to poison I got sick, ma got sick all my dogs were sick,

Bailey my oldest beautiful girl looked like it was going to kill her,

I ranted on here poured my grief and hate out,

Some of y'all saw me sent love back to me and prayers for my Bae,

And she started kicking it she was recovering,

I updated y'all and you were glad to hear it,

one of you even dm'd me later to ask if she was still recovering and I'd been able to reply a happy positive,

Which is why I felt like I had to come on here and let you know

Bailey died today,

And to thank you again for those prayers

I got one more year with her,

She was so amazing she stole one of my mas stuffed bears after like a day with us and would suck on it, she then stole two more, and would not except any additional bears we tried to give her, nope those were here three she stole them herself,

I taught her to jump into my arms,

She watched me squint at the TV and then started squinting her eyes at me,

She would get pissed off if you called her a dog, she was not a dirty dog she was a fur person

I could go on forever,

She was a tough fucking bitch we had to put her down because she absolutely refused to go,

she was fighting death every step,

I'm sure Deaths down a few fingers dragging her across the rainbow bridge while she claws and screams every obscenity I ever taught her,

While I have you,

some of you might remember me talking about the three sibling cats I'd gotten as kittens how the brother Ares had passed in 2019 then Shy decided to go out on the same day as the queen as was Shy right little Drama Queen,

Then it was just Mittens and she started to go down hill was losing interest in food so we got her a kitty I named Circe,

Well Mittens spited herself back to health cause fuck you kitten, and managed kept going through to the beginning of this year and then she just couldn't go on, she curled up in the worst fucking spot so I had to frag her body out after feeling that she was gone,

Like I said absolutely a spiteful shit,

I miss her so much, she loved being held like a baby, she acted more like a dog then a cat, she liked to sit on my shoulder, I have a scar on my shoulder where she got a claw stuck in it one time,

and she loved it when I had long hair shed get up high behind me after I'd showered and comb my hair with her claws,

As I was showering off the pee and poop after cleaning up,

I thought about writing this and ending it here with some kinda sign off,

but as I sat there my mind turning with the sear bullshit that not just this week but my entire fucking life's been,

My brain turned and raged,

You know I love animals way more then I like humans, while I do feel love and empathy towards humanity there are days like today where it's a hard thing and an easy thing,

because I read about Neil Gaiman sexualy assaulting women yesterday which makes me so sick,

But the vet that put down Bailey was so fucking kind,

I joke to people that I was raised by dogs,

It's not really a joke,

My ma has been the only human to truly love me,

My sperm donor Dennis is an absolute abusive joke of a human being whose still fucking alive and I have to live with him

My oldest sister is dead and while I think she loved me a bit she never watched out for me

And my second sister beat me, raped me, gaslit me fucking constantly, the real deal not the way people incorrectly use that word, and almost killed me a lot,

Ma worked constantly, still does, she is only now (as I'm beginning to talk about things) finding out just how often I was left to my own supervision,

But Lady and Tramp

And yes we had two dogs named Lady (German shepherd) and Tramp (husky/wolf)

They, took care of me Tramp even more reared me like I was his own,

I tussled and played with their puppies, grew up beside them

Watched Lady die when I was 7,

Rusty one of their babies my big brother ma and I buried together when I was 5 After Dennis threw rat poison around the house to kill the mice and killed Rusty

I watched Corky die and then Trampy and Sammy and then Rusty and Sammy's boy Socks

They were my family

Every dog and cat I've had has been my family,

And thinking about them all today

Thinking about this world we're all living in,

Something I want to say

There is no overarching Justice

No grand moment where evil men or women are struck down by righteous gods

Maybe that shit happened or maybe they were stories I don't fucking know I wasn't alive back then I'm alive now

And now, there are no saviors

There is just me, just you

And the choices we make

Martin Luther King Jr said something about how the long arch of history bends towards justice,

But he and people like him bent it towards justice with their bare hands and their very lives,

All we have achieved for justice for equality have been done by mortal living hands

And we cannot fucking give up

Don't listen to those people telling you it's hopeless that the world is evil

The world is beautiful

The stars, the rainbows, the thunder and lightning, the frogs so small they can sit on a finger nail, the mountains, mouse, geese, the castles and pyramids the things our ancestors created, ect

Hell the bit of plastic and wires and weird rock you are reading this on, isn't that cool,

Yeah there's downsides to it we need to figure out how to do it better,

We need to figure out how to do it better.

All of it.

And we will,

because we always do.

So don't listen to the people that say to give up that it's to late,

Just because they've given up doesn't mean you have to

I'm hurting I'm going to hurt for the rest of my life,

But I would not take a minute of it back not a moment,

My life has been full of pain but also full of love,

I wanted to die for a time, a long time,

But there is so much in this world to love,

I want to live,

I want to keep falling in love over and over again,

In love with animals,

the ones I adopted into my family

ones a half a world away,

Fucking platypus the most animal to animal,

The rain every fucking time it hits my roof or my head,

I hope I'll get a chance to fall in love romantically one day but I'm ok if I don't there's so much else to love,

And I'm going to fight The Fight for the rest of my life because all these things I love are worth fighting for,

I'm not in a position right now to do the things I want to but,

I can do some things,

I can do ofwoodandbones lost dog spell to help strangers get their lost pets back, which I've successfully done more then once,

I collect cans and recycle

I pour stale water out on plants rather then down the drain,

I planted a bunch of plants in my backyard bees fucking love

I vote, I vote smart and don't throw my vote away for a false sense of moral superiority,

So

Find something to love to love it hard and do what you can to protect it,

Doesn't matter what,

Everything matters,

Love shit, protect it,

Don't give up,

To all y'all who are my allies in The Fight,

May the great Titan Witch light your way, may you find your path or make one, may you love and be loved, may your body be strong enough to hold your spirit

[ceilingfan5]

Prompts to sink your teeth into 27 and Taakitz please and thank you!

“Balls to the walls, can you believe it’s been ten years since graduation?” Taako is laying upside down on Kravitz’s couch, kicking his feet in the air aimlessly. 

“Not on my balls or my walls,” Kravitz decides, snorting. He pulls the laundry out of the dryer and dumps it in a basket, frowning as static zaps him.  “It’s truly wild to think about. I don’t think I’m going to go to the reunion, if they even invite me, you know? Like, I think I was weird enough in high school that I don’t even get recruitment attempts for MLMs-”

“You just haven’t met the right one yet,” Taako chastises. “Maybe Pampered Chef is for you.”

“I think I’m more of a Tupperware bitch.” 

“I’d love to keep you in a Tupperware. I’d poke holes in the top for you and everything.” Taako flips over and rights himself, woozy and red in the face. 

“What, like a grasshopper?”

“Nah, like a cool snake I found. But just a widdle one.” 

Kravitz is oddly touched. It really adds a layer onto the thing he and Taako are absolutely, one hundred percent talking around: ten years since graduation also marks ten years since they made a marriage pact and swore a blood oath behind the Denny’s. 

A decade is long enough, yeah?

Yeah, lots of people get married by the time they’re 28. It’s normal. We don’t want to be unnormal.

I think that ship has sailed, dude. 

Forget the ship. It doesn’t have to be real. It’s just…you know, motivation. 

A kick in the ass. Yeah. 

Something to keep us looking. Because- romance is hard!

You think it’ll get less hard?

No, I don’t think it will, Taako. I don’t think it will. 

Kravitz looks at Taako. It was stupid back then. It’d be stupider to bring it up now. He’s been head over heels for an embarrassingly long time. It was a joke, mostly. A stupid teenager thing. They’re almost thirty, for fuck’s sake. 

He brings the basket over to the couch and sits beside Taako. Their sides touch, and Taako is warm. 

They’re almost thirty, and Taako’s twin is getting married. And here they are, roommates, alone, together. Kravitz doesn’t know the last time he went on a date, but the last time Taako did was about four months ago. It’s not looking good on the ‘surely some other, perfecter guy will come around and Kravitz will be able to transfer some of the love beating under the floorboards to some regular, unsuspecting dude’ front. 

“It’s just wild,” Taako sighs, clearly on the same choo-choo. “I mean, I’m happy for her, like-”

“Like between her and Barry I’ve been ready to flush myself down the toilet for-”

“So long. SO long!” 

“Physically painful,” Kravitz agrees, not least because it made him incredibly aware of his own bullshit. “Like you said, so happy for them, and I mean, obviously w- I’ll show up to the wedding with bells on-”

“You bet your sweet ass we will. But like, you think my sad jester ass is getting any jingling action?” Taako gives him a sorrowful puppy dog face, like a pathetic court fool left in a cardboard box in the rain, and Kravitz laughs so hard he worries he’s going to pass out. He imagines those jingle bells a’janglin’. But he’d better not. 

He’d really better not. 

“It’s not that I don’t…It’s- It’s not like I want to make either of them feel bad...” Kravitz starts.  

“Definitely not.” 

“But I almost want to- cause a bit of a scene?” He looks at Taako. Taako perks up, tugging down his imaginary jester hat for Serious Mode. 

“I love causing scenes,” Taako says affectionately. “You know this.”

“I know this, and I agree with you,” Kravitz replies, grinning. Warm laundry forgotten. Socks, stay unpaired. Fuck your romantic life right up the same alley as his own. “What are you thinking? I’m hearing gears turning.” 

“Industry music doot-dooting,” Taako says with a nod. “Listen.”

“Listening. You know I’m listening.” 

“It- I mean, just for fun, right, nobody gets hurt, it’s fine, everything is fine? It’s for funsies.” 

“For funsies,” Kravitz echoes. 

“It would be soooo funny if we got engaged right before Lup’s wedding.” 

“Yeah?” Kravitz hears the ocean in his ears. Maybe he got a seashell stuck in there. You know how he is, always getting seashells in places. 

“Yeah! Yeah. Just as a fun prank, and for no other reason. There’s no way this could backfire.”

“Uhuh,” Kravitz says. “It- It would be easy, even. People say we act like a couple all the time. Haha.” Hopefully Taako doesn’t notice that Kravitz said ha-ha instead of laughing. It’s probably fine. Totally regular, even. He’s? Normal. 

“Absolutely.” There’s a manic look in Taako’s eyes, and Kravitz could lose himself in them like a stupid little boat in the Bermuda Triangle. Geometry never was his strong suit, and this current is pulling him under. How many times in his life has he gotten involved with something stupid because of Taako? Not to mention all of the stupid ideas Taako’s encouraged him to follow through on. 

God, is that why he minored in trombone? 

He’s so fucked. There’s no way this is ending well. There’s no way they walk out of this unscathed. 

“It would be funny,” he admits. 

“So funny.” Taako nods enthusiastically, like this is the greatest idea he’s ever had in his life. Fuck all those other bargain bin ideas, this is their ticket to the limelight. Fake dating. 

Fake engagement, even.  

Kravitz’s hand grips the upholstery of the couch, not even a full inch away from Taako’s hand. 

“Why not?”

[redbullgivesyouwingedkuriboh]

Since y’all liked me getting beaten down by GX characters so much, here’s:

Yu-Gi-Oh ARC-V Characters ranked by how easily I could take them in a fight

same rules apply: fisticuffs only and my personal feelings about the characters do not matter

also since ARC-V is WEIRD AF when it comes to characters this will be characters that are exclusive to ARC-V. so no repeat of Asuka. We already know I bite harder than she does.

without further ado, here we go:

Reira Akaba. No shit. is literally a baby. if I was a baby kicking kind of person I could punt her into the sun. However as I do not kick babies I am more inclined to wrap her in a lil blanket and put her in the corner.

Yuya Sakaki. Bitch. One good step on his toes and he’s going “reaction shot?!” I pull on his stupid fuckin goggles and snap them back onto his face. he’s down. count to ten.

Yuzu Hiragi. Canonically the bracelet girls really suck at holding their own at any given moment. Yuzu is the weakest physically because she has never seen war or hardship to the level of the other three. I could take her in four seconds. pigtail tug time.

Yuri. The second weakest physically of the Yu boys. has been coddled by Leo for years. probably sparred with Sho at the academy to make himself feel better about having 0% body weight from muscles. eat shit you purple motherfucker.

Dennis McField. not only would I beat him, I would enjoy doing it. I’d love to curbstomp that motherfucker off a boat, except he already did that to himself. physically he is a fuckin twig and I am five feet seven inches of pure unadulterated god complex. he’ll wish I turned his ass into a card.

Reiji Akaba. the scarf works to his detriment. I do two laps around him holding the end of that thing and suddenly his face is turning blue and he’s calling for papa. unfortunately for him I have zero mercy.

Rin. again, the bracelet girls are notoriously bad at being strong independent women. we literally don’t see Rin for most of the series because she got herself kidnapped off the cuff. that being said she could probably hold her own against me, but I think she’s too sweet for that.

Z-ARC. We’ve established I bite. even outside of human form, if you look at him, he’s got a fuck ton of exposed veins, both as regular Z-ARC and Yuya Z-ARC. chompy chompy motherfucker you’ll pass out from the blood loss before I can kick your ass properly.

Yugo. Canonically relies on his motorcycle for fuckin everything. lost to Yuri because he rolled a nat one on his constitution saving throw. even though he’s probably physically in shape from motorcycle stuff I could flick him in the forehead and he’d be whining like a baby. If I got the first shot in, I’d have a 99% chance of winning. If he got to me first it would go to about 60%. again, I bite.

Leo Akaba. Here’s where we get into characters that have a greater than 50% chance of beating me. Leo is canonically ripped and also has zero emotions. I would only win if I got close enough for a nut kick, but there’s only one person who wants to be that close to Leo Akaba and it sure as hell ain’t me.

Sora Shuin’in. Holy fuck who let their feral cat off its leash. Sora is literally insane and I am requesting backup. He’d shove that lollipop so far up my ass that I’d be able to tell whether it was lime or green apple. I live in fear of Sora suddenly materializing in my room

Ruri Kurosaki. Remember how I bite? She bites harder. She puts up with No Shit and also has No Fucks To Give.

Serena. No further explanation needed. I fear that explaining it further would cause Feral Child #2 to burst into my brain and start kicking.

Yusho Sakaki. Sweet mother of blue eyes white dragon. remember how I said my personal feelings don’t matter? now they do. smash. next question. wait what were we talking about?

Shun Kurosaki. kinda lost the plot on Yusho but we’re back on track now. Shun canonically took out armed guards by Batmanning his ass up a wall. There’s posters up for him that say “lost dog” and the caption is just “if you find him please keep him”.

Yuto. Everything that Shun is + Ruri taught him how to effectively bite.

Noburu Gongenzaka. he is actually ripped and wears cement shoes for funzies. he could probably just stomp once and my shaky joints would give out on their own. bye.

Yoko Sakaki. canonically beat the stuffing out of people in her past life and I would let her. angry mom energy means I barely make it out alive. smash. wait— shit—

[wifipunx92]

CyberPunk: Made in Night City #4

Daggerz:"Guess whos decided to rear their pretty little face back into my life?" *Johnny looks over at V with a smug look Johnny: "Lemme guess, has Judy finally forgiven you and come back into your life?"

Daggerz: "No you gonk! We both know that bridge has been burned. Shes not coming back... But that red head bitch Rachel for some reason messaged me with a acting gig. Pretty sure she also wants to fuck me, fucking fine ass corpo bitch. We'll see how that goes."

Johnny: "Oh? You in front of the lens? What are the odds. Y'dont seem like the acting type. *chuckles* What's the gig consist of?"

Daggerz: "Didnt get much into detail. Just said they wanted to film a modern take on the Akira incident from 2019. Said i'd be perfect as one of the leading roles. Most likely Kaneda." (*Gender roles dont exist in this universe.*)

Johnny: "Shotaro Kaneda. Son of a bitch that kid was. Got into it once with him and his crew when Samurai did a far east tour way back when. Kid was a punk with balls of chrome. Sad what happened to him and his choombas. Such a fucked up way to go out. Governments been tryna cover that shit up for the past 7 decades."

*V pulls out her pack of smokes. A Synnabis spliff seemed perfect for this moment. She put the spliff to her lips and sparked it up taking a big drag on the first inhale.

Daggerz: "Why am I not surprised that you had a run in with Kaneda. Is there more to this "Tall tale" or was it a brief encounter."

*She says as she passes Johnny the spliffy. He puts the butt of the filter to his lips and takes a quick drag, inhaling and holding in the smoke for a few seconds before exhaling.

Johnny: "Kid was a piece of shit gonk. Him and all his chooms. But like i said, they had balls. We were playing this local dive bar in shibuya. We were 5 songs into our set when this group of gangoons walked into the bar starting shit. Yelling, throwing shit at the stage, being obnoxious just like kids do. Got to a point where one of them chucked something at the stage hitting Kerry in the forehead almost knocking him out cold and of course Kerry being the hot head he is jumped up, walked over to them and decked the kid who threw the shit at him. Me, Kerry, Nance, Denny and Henry ended up squaring off with these dickwads which of course led to the promoter cancelling the rest of our set, kicking everyone out and closing up shop for the day. Kid disappeared after pulling a dagger out on me and i aint heard of him since. Not until the Akira incident." *He takes another drag before passing the spliff back to V.

Daggerz: "Fuck, thats some heavy shit Johnny. I know youre prone to trouble but damn. Getting into it with one of the kids from the Akira incident? Mind officially blown. Where were you when Akira struck again?" Johnny: "Cant really say or remember. That whole thing was a blur. Didnt hear about the incident until days later. Maybe i was spiraling out inna drunken rocker state. Who knows. But ill tell ya one thing, something about it bothered me. As if... I lost someone close to me or whatever. Strange cause that night was the only time i ever met that kid. Guess its just weird meeting a person who you think is insignificant in the world then all of a sudden theyre a big deal, front page news type shit know what i mean?" *V passes the spliff back to Johnny.

Daggerz: "Maybe you knew one another in a past life? Ooooor...maybe in a parallel universe you two are close chooms?

*Looking into the distance Johnny takes a long drag of the spliff and passes it back to V.

Johnny: "Maybe V. World works in weird mysterious ways. Who knows. All I know is the gonk went out trying to save his friend and that in my book deserves the upmost respect."

*V looks at Johnny and gives him a little smile

Daggerz: "Stop the press! Is Johnny Silverhand actually showing emotion and compassion for another human?!? Holy hell!😱"

Johnny: "Hey fuck you! I can be sentimental when needed. Not always a cold hearted shit. I can show emotion when needed." *He said laughing.

Daggerz: "Riiight, right. Okay Mr. Sentimental lets go. I gotta go down to Fourth Wall to meet up with this woman so she can tell me more about this shit. Maybe even get laid in the process."

Johnny: "Heh, we shall see. Probably gonna take an army to hold that bitch back from jumping on your meat stick."

*V shakes her head and laughs softly. Daggerz: "Alright shit for brains lets go."

[queerdiazs]

tease tidbit tuesday 🫧

i was tagged by @honestlydarkprincess and @wikiangela for this lil thing ❣️

have something from eddie vs the hoa—which still has no confirmed name, but i do really really really like 'this heart i handed you for free' from one of my fav songs... i'm agonizing can u tell

Eddie gives him the middle finger but hops through anyway. He gets stuck, the belt loop on his jeans snagging on the windowsill, and Buck shoves his ass all the way through so violently he pitches forward and flips over onto his back hard enough to knock some of his breath away.  Buck ducks his head in through the window. “You okay?”  “I lost one of my shoes,” Eddie wheezes. He rolls around on the floor, using the flashlight on his phone, and finds his wayward flip-flop. “I’m gonna unlock the backdoor for you.”  He stumbles out of the laundry room and into the small corridor that separates it from the guest bathroom. The backdoor’s lock is a fickle bastard; it takes Eddie three tries to get it right and by the time he’s opening it wide Buck’s squawking laughter’s already echoing inside the house.  “You’re so fuckin’ loud,” Eddie bitches, fisting Buck’s shirt and jerking him inside. He shuts the door, but leaves the lock undone because there’s no way in hell he’s dealing with that more than he has to. “Why do you sound like that when you laugh?”  “Like what?”  “Like that!”  Buck scoffs. “Fuck off,” he says, but there’s no heat to it. “Show me around so we can go back and watch the movie. I had to block Harry and Denny ‘cause they kept trying to spoil it. They’re even trying to send—” “Emails?” Eddie finishes and Buck nods. “Chris is in the same boat. C’mon, I’ll start with my room.” 

i cannot stress how fucking goofy this fic is. it's nuts. it's so fun. these two are IDIOTS in love and they don't even know it. oh my god. i'm gonna eat sand if i think about it anymore.

tagging @wildlife4life, @watchyourbuck, @disasterbuckdiaz, @eowon, @eddiediaztho, @thewolvesof1998, @fortheloveofbuddie, @giddyupbuck, @housewifebuck, @jeeyuns, @jesuisici33, @made-ofmemories, and everybody else <3

[spilledquinoa]

as my sibling and I have a running quotes list, I would like to add some lines that I think would be pretty fun with Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, Zack, and Cloud. enjoy.

Sephiroth

"All I know is MAIL"

"Who made blood?" "yes"

"one (1) singular street fight"

"so basically it's China or cancer"

"you're walking inordinately slow" (probably Zack or somethin) "WELL YOU'RE WALKING BIG WORD FAST"

"I don't discriminate" (Genesis,most likely) "but I do"

"there's a mistake" "unacceptable" "...that was yours"

"it feels like my brain is being deep-fried in acetone"

"hey, how's it going?" "terrible, thanks for asking"

"I'm like a twelve year old with dementia"

Angeal

"I'm not going to shotgun a caprisun"

"that's enough please, stop beating me with a pineapple"

"where can I put my taco??" "in your pocket" "w h a t"

"I like feeding the geese on my own terms, don't want em quacking at me"

"They're turkeys, but not cute turkeys (troublemakers) like my kids. no, these are turkeys that might get shot for thanksgiving and I'm not sorry about it"

"GET BACK HERE GERALD"

"WHO WOULD SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT, AT A FUNERAL?!"

"Mr Coach A, if you wan to be formal"

"...why are you pretending to smoke a pencil?"

"I'm not a priest, I had my chance"

"you can't make a worse drink if you only have water"

Genesis

"STOP TALKING OR I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR MOUTH"

"imagine grinding up someone's teeth! on the internet! for views!"

"my sexuality is a twister wheel"

"Heidegger likes ritz...?"

"HOJO CAN'T READ"

"are you saying that orphans are losers cause they're orphans??" "would you say they're winners then?"

"excuse you, I don't get any bitches because I have a *maiden*"

calling Catherine Howard, fifth wife of Henry the VIII a hussy

"we believe something is beautiful because it can end"

"tear me apart and make me your villain"

Zack

"nipulars"

"hypothetically, if sonic slapped a raw chicken 95,850 times in the span of 9.6 picoseconds (a picosecond is one trillionth of a second) the chicken would be cooked"

"are you about to have a breakdown or are you about to break it down?"

"gimme a spicy second"

"is it a bird? is it a plane? it's Vagina Man!"

"call me Shrek cause I'm swamped"

"prepare yourself, I'm gonna shit my pants"

"SUCK IT BOZO"

"meatghetti and spaghettballs"

"OKAY MR-I-KNOW-HOW-TO-READ"

"what's good for the goose is good for the other goose"

"they were a hero" "I didn't want them to be a hero, I wanted them to live."

"I'll fill you in on the baseball lore"

"there's a *Denny's*"

"the energy of a single banana"

Cloud

"start crying, you'll get sympathy points"

"I'M GOING TO DANCE ON YOUR BONES"

"HOW DOES WINNIE THE POOH AND TAOISM RELATE??"

"well guess what Joey; I can still punch you in the balls"

"I HOPE YOU'RE LONELY"

"you know, I didn't think I'd screw up a lot but here we go"

"we're doing ballet bitch"

"he's rich" "what else is he" "a present"

"I keep on saying prostitution instead of prosecution"

"why are we talking about Caesar like he's Regina George"

"upchuck...vomit...do the hokey pokey..."

"that REEKS of my point"

*playing video games* "I'm now bald, can rip out street lights, and use motorcycles as weapons" "and you start out with BALD?" "it's his most defining trait"

"SHUT UP YOU BITCH ASS HOBO"

there is more than enough for a part two btw

[gayasslovestory]

for dtamhd im imagining something a la tends bar where dennis has this explosive yet emotional confession once he reaches his breaking point, and as he's hurling insults at each member of the gang, he finally reaches mac and says "and you, this is all your goddamn fault, you son of a bitch!!" and mac, with all the pity and longing of a kicked puppy asks, "what? how is this my fault?" and dennis, of course, refuses to elaborate, maybe he takes a swing at mac and they're wrestling like dennis just found out mac banged his mom, but in the middle, dennis breaks down into tears, giving us a reveal of what's been going on with him, and then, mac, sitting beside him, asks: "do you want a tissue?" and dennis pauses, staring at him, the rest of the gang looking on in confusion, except for dee, cause she knows what it means, she has all along, and then, in the words of frank, "they plow"

[unsaidcurses]

could you do a what dating would be like with our lovely dennis hauger?? love you btw🤍

it's been a while but here you go! sorry for the long wait but uni restarted and i have an awful schedule, so i have very little time to write :((

your first date was set up by arthur, so after you got together he still claims he's your cupid

being invited to norway pretty damn often

that implies always freezing your ass

could dennis not be a bit flirty about it? clearly not

"here, take my jacket" "no dennis, you're gonna freeze and catch a cold, keep that thing" "i've a fleece under it, unlike you, so take it and shut up"

being brought to the craziest parties

if you search the definition of protective on the dictionary, you'll probably find a pic of him

getting drunk together on the beach

weekly subscription to his closet

every once in a while you go and steal something from it

his favourite picks are hoodies, redbull/prema merch and his underwear (he thinks you look stunning in them, don’t question)

watching a lot of movies and series together and commenting them like you were cinema critics

being treated like a queen

joking about how angry he looks whenever he's studying data

"dennis" "mh?" "you have a resting bitch face, you know?"

pick up lines all the time

probably in his head you're like midas, because he considers everything related to you pure gold

butt grabs in public

(either because you get turned on by it or cause you get all shy about it)

having long baths together where he let you play with his hair

hyping him up when he works out in the gym

flirting like you don't know each other for fun when you're attenging public parties

knitting him a sweater for when he's in Oslo

he wears it so ofter that he probably made mold in it

after some time together, you invented a new vocabolary to comunicate secretly, like kids do

that consist in dennis using norwiegian words and make them sound more english

this was after he couldn't find the words to compliment you

"oh my- you look, uhm... nydeliging?" "excuse me, what is that?" "i forgot how to say it in english. nydelig means that you look good. but like, good good." "you mean gorgeous?" "... yes."

[fbfh]

rocks at your window pt. 10 - ricky bowen x reader

disclaimer: this series contains smut and chapter by chapter warnings, so as with all nsfw works, ricky is aged up to 18+!! ricky and reader are 18 and in their senior year

additionally, we're working towards a ricky x therapy plot so he's going to start expressing some symptoms of mental illness and bpd but he does get therapy eventually and has a good support system but he gets worse before he gets better yk. Obviously I'm not a professional and this is for entertainment so while I have done my research pls take this with a grain of salt!! or several!! /lh

!! contains some spoilers for season 1 of hsmtmts, and previous chapters of this fic !!

wc: 10.1k

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, more high highs and a lot of low lows, tooth rotting fluff

pairing: ricky bowen x (afab she/her) reader

warnings: saucy flashbacks, nini and ej are very unprofessional, more fake texts, more coping through the arts, ricky realizes he's a real theatre kid, ricky is simping for you, seb being seb/a good friend/an absolute sweetheart, ricky distancing himself from lynne (slay), spilling tea (after getting permission to do so), conflicted feelings, nini (and ej but mostly nini) ruins the show, three seperate nini pick me moments, reader is about to snap, ricky and reader are mvps, one playful 'babe' from reader to ricky, nini is one delusional bitch!, brief mention of reader's trauma (jumpy at loud noises, flinches when someone raises their voice), ricky and big red are bros, big red has good opinions bc he stans dr phil, minor big red x ashlyn, kourtney and ricky do not get along lol, reader DOES snap, nini is terrible idk how else to rephrase it she's just the worst, nini gets yelled at by both you and ricky (slay), realizations happen, jones BIGASS love confessions and neck kisses.html, flowery descriptions, ricky picks you up briefly, making out, ricky is good with kids and it's adorable, nini is the only one who calls it YAC, theatre kids at denny's jumpscare, mike is a good dad, you wear one of ricky's shirts, saccrine amounts of love declarations, tooth rotting fluff

summary: after the disaster that was act one, act two also finds some way to go unplanned, causing you to be completely fed up with Nini's unprofessional behavior. you turn a night of confrontations around as you realize something and ricky finally gets something important off his chest.

song recs: entr'acte (hands clean) - jagged little pill obc, smiling - jagged little pill obc, what am I to you - rm, you stupid bitch - crazy ex girlfriend cast, first - niki and gabi, for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic - paramore, I hear a symphony - cody fry, something to believe in - newsies obc, let's go to the movies - annie (1982), sunrise - in the heights obc

a/n: fangz again 2 cici for beta reading, prepz fuk off. I'm watching american horror story murder house so uh. i'll let you know how that goes. it's hilarious so far tbh i love basement babyman. also this is ricky at you

tags @yesv01 @afidiofobia @aliyahsutherland @hopefullhearts @pikzel @demirunner @brinaslittlefreak @girlfriendwhoseawitch @matiere-detoiles @ifilwtmfc @uselesssapphickitten @nxstalgicnxbxdy @ggclarissa @n-slayaaaaa @stormi-ames @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @rainforest-daisies @sunshineangel-reads

You had heard the first part of their argument from your dressing room. After that it was muffled yelling - most of which you hoped was Ricky’s. When Natalie called for places, they were still going at it. You found Miss Jenn as quickly as you could, worried about Ricky, unsure if he was still okay to perform. 

“EJ is already getting ready to go on.” She tells you. It’s the only answer you need for how ugly things got. She ushers everyone to their places, trying her best to squash their questions and speculations of what’s going on. 

“Nothing you need to worry about, just find you places, get in character, get ready for act two…” she instructs. She pulls you aside before you enter the wings. 

“Mr. Mazzara is escorting her out as we speak.” she informs you quietly. 

“Wait, Mr. Mazzara is here?” you ask. She pauses.

“Uh, yes. He’s been… helping run the lights up in the control booth. It was a last minute-” she shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. The point is, the… shrew is leaving and Mike is on his way back to check on Ricky.” You’re relieved that his dad is here for him - and Miss Jenn. You look around momentarily. 

“Where is he?” you ask. 

“That dusty storage room we shoved the creepy mannequins in.” 

The one with the piano. The one where he helped you come down from a panic attack your first day at the El Rey, and… 

“...So they’re probably going to wait until the show is over, then head home.” You snap out of the onslaught of memories that stirred up at the mention of that storage room, catching the last half of what she said. “You can keep your phone in the wings to stay in touch, just make sure it’s not a distraction.” 

“Okay,” you agree, already feeling it buzzing in your pocket. She nudges you toward the wings as the intro to I Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You starts playing, Nini and EJ’s voices should be floating through the house. 

“Now, go be Sharpay!” she says with a smile, and you start to turn the corner, then pause. 

“Miss Jenn!” you whisper-yell, and she looks back up at you. “Thank you! For everything.” you say sincerely. She places her hands on her chest, smiling, and you finally find your place backstage. 

“Like, full on screaming,” you hear Zeke say to Martha. You try to ignore them, and everyone else talking and whispering. You knew it would spread like wildfire, backstage drama always does. You pull out your phone, blowing up with texts from Ricky and his dad. You keep switching between the two text threads, trying to figure out what happened, to make sure Ricky’s okay. As you type out replies to both him and his dad, you look out onto the stage. Something doesn’t sound right, the gaps between the dialog are too long. 

Your brow furrows, trying to figure out what’s going on. EJ’s hand comes up to his collar and he leans forward. Nina delivers her next line more stilted and awkward and out of character than anything you’ve ever seen. You watch, confusion turning into disbelief as Nina covers her mic with her hand, and whispers something to EJ. Being so close to where they’re standing, you’re able to catch most of what she says - ‘seriously, EJ, where’s Ricky?’, or something to that effect. 

High pitched feedback whines at the disturbance to her mic, and for a moment you think you must have imagined it. There’s no way, no chance in hell she covered her mic with her hand, broke character onstage, and got EJ to break character too. You take a few breaths, reminding yourself that you’re not the director. Miss Jenn will have to deal with that one. Your phone buzzes as you get more texts from Ricky, and you check it again. 

Ricky stares at the little gray box on his screen, letting your words sink in. He still has four shows to perform in. He has more than just tonight to look forward to. All of those shows, every single one of them, is going to go just fine. Even now, through the worst possible nightmare of a thing that could have happened, the show is still continuing; the show must go on. And it will. It is, right in front of his eyes, as he and his dad enter the auditorium, taking two empty seats, Ricky’s right on the aisle. EJ and Nini harmonize, dancing around the stage - like he was supposed to. They finish the last verse of Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You, as the audience applauds. He claps politely as the lights go down. 

He mentally runs through what he would be doing if he were back there with you guys. You’re probably getting ready for the scene at Sharpay’s locker with Zeke, standing center stage in the dark, looking at the prop accessories in the pink locker, while Zeke mentally goes over his lines and blocking in the stage left wing. The lights go up, and he’s right. He knows this whole show inside and out, he realizes, and it makes his chest squeeze. Instead of dwelling on that, he leans forward, watching the scene begin to play out. He realizes suddenly that he gets to actually watch you perform. Not just from the wings or during rehearsals or in a grainy camcorder video, but he gets to watch you live. 

He smiles a little, realizing how special that is. You deliver your lines flawlessly, bringing a chuckle from the audience with your attitude right when you want one. It’s crazy how you play the mean girl so well, when it couldn’t be further from your real personality. He figures you’re just that amazing. You let out a shrill, frustrated scream, then storm off stage with Zeke trailing after you. When the lights go down, he claps loudly, letting out a cheer. He lets out a shaky breath, knowing you’ll be in the next scene, too - you’re probably quick changing for it right now. 

He’s right again, and backstage, you pull on your jacket, relieved to be done a little earlier than usual. It’s probably nerves from everything that happened tonight making you go a little quicker, but you’re not complaining. 

“So,” Seb says quietly next to you, bending over to tug on his heels, “what happened earlier? It sounded bad…” You let out a slow, frustrated sigh. He gets the sense it wasn’t just bad, it was really bad. 

“Just…” you search for the words, “some personal stuff. Family stuff, I guess.” 

“Bad enough for him to leave halfway through the show?” he asks, and you can tell he’s concerned. You pause fixing your belt, looking up to the catwalk and praying for the strength to get through tonight. Seb is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, and you know he wouldn’t hurt a fly, but the last thing you need to do is add to the whispers, the desire for someone to spill the tea on what happened during intermission. 

“It’s really not for me to say…” you trail off, glancing at the other groups of castmates waiting to go on and techies listening for their cues. ‘Later’, you mouth to him. You have to go on any minute, and you want to text Ricky about it before you tell anyone anything. It’s really not your place to tell anyone what’s going on in his homelife. You pull out your phone, sending him a quick text that says some of your friends are worried about him, and does he want you to say anything or keep it under wraps for now. You turn your phone on silent and hide it in your bra before making your entrance on time. 

Seb lets out a huff, then follows you off stage as the ensemble runs in from the wings and the music for Wildcat Cheer reprise starts playing. As the ensemble begins dancing, Ricky checks his phone again, seeing a new text from you. ‘What do you want me to say?’ He pauses, staring at the screen. What does he want you to say? Nothing, at first. For a painful, fleeting moment, he wishes none of this had ever happened in the first place, he wishes he didn’t have to keep making up excuses and brushing things off. He doesn’t have to, he realizes. He doesn’t have to keep covering for her, and overcompensating for her shitty decisions. He bites the inside of his cheek, then texts you back. 

Backstage, you return to the stage right wing, ready for your next scene. You check to see if Ricky has texted you back, and he did. ‘Tell them she showed up unannounced and we got in a fight. I’m not trying to make her look good anymore.’ You agree, and a part of you is glad he’s not making himself responsible for his mother’s emotions anymore. When your scene is over, you rush to your dressing room to get ready for Bop to the Top. You have a full costume and hair change, and you need to tweak your makeup a little, so it usually takes you the longest to get ready for. Once you’ve applied enough body glitter to choke a bratz doll, you leave your dressing room, meeting Seb on the way to the wings. 

Most of the cast is onstage right now, so it’s not very crowded backstage where you stand, waiting for the current song to end. Seb moves a little closer to you and lowers his voice.

“I know it’s probably not a good time to ask, but what in the Mount Saint Helens happened with Ricky?” He asks in a hushed, worried tone. You bite back a smile at his turns of phrase, and sigh. You think back to Ricky’s text, how he said he’s done covering for her. 

“His mother showed up…” you say slowly, pausing at the shocked expression on his face. 

“She what?” he exclaims quietly. 

“And she tried to corner Ricky during intermission,” he gasps, and you continue, “and they got into a huge fight.” 

“Oh my god.” he says, thinking back to the yelling he’d heard. 

“Mhm.” you confirm, “Miss Jenn had to kick her out so she wouldn’t cause more of a scene.” 

“Oh my god!” he gasps in disbelief that it got that bad. He feels like he’s on an episode of Real Housewives. Or maybe Dance Moms. 

“Poor Ricky… Is he okay?” His mind constructs different images of Ricky’s mother ambushing him while he tries to get ready for act two. He can’t imagine how terrible that must have been. 

“As much as he can be right now,” you say. Seb can see how worried you are about him. This night took a toll on you, and he’s sure Ricky’s dad and Miss Jenn can’t be doing much better. It makes sense, and he’s glad to at least know what happened. 

“That’s pretty much it, but I’ll give you the details later.” you say, noting that you have to go on soon, and walking over to Ashlyn so you can enter together. 

The music starts, and Ricky has never been more excited for Bop to the Top. He’s never had the opportunity to see you and Seb perform full out like this from the audience, he’s always been just out of view before because of the blocking and where he was supposed to stand on stage. But now, he’s front and center, watching the light bounce off the glitter scattered across your chest and arms. You’re in a gorgeous, glittering teal dress that bounces and moves with every step you take. Your silver sparkling heels match your bracelets, and your hair is pinned up with big pink and white flowers on the side. Seb begins to dance with you, wearing a coordinating outfit that’s just as flashy. 

As the music cuts between the basketball game and science decathlon, you and Seb continue to steal the show. Your singing is gorgeous and your choreography is flawless. You harmonize as you spin around, totally in sync. Your attitude, your charisma is overflowing. The two most important events of the show are happening on either side of you, and you’re keeping all eyes center stage. He’s never seen a number with this much energy, this much flare, and based on the way the crowd is reacting, they feel the same way. 

As the tension builds, as the time to score the winning shot runs out and the science questions get harder and harder, as the music builds, Ricky’s breath is taken away. At the climax of the number, the East High Wildcats win the championship basketball game, and the science decathlon at the same moment. You and Seb hit the final note, holding it out as you strike your ending pose. Right as you’re done, Taylor kills the lights. 

Ricky is stunned at how good the show looks from the audience. But in spite of how amazing it’s been, he can’t ignore the gnawing in his chest anymore. He’s been trying so hard to focus on you, to not be jealous of EJ standing up there reciting his lines, singing his parts and doing his choreography. Seeing EJ up there, seeing Carlos struggle to fill in as Chad makes his stomach sink. It’s supposed to be him up there. He’s supposed to be the one scrambling to make it to callbacks on time, just like he did in real life all those months ago. He turns his attention back to you, as you begin your biggest Sharpay diva moment of the show. 

You storm off with Seb at your heels, and you both begin to get changed for the finale. As you get dressed into your white and red outfits, you can’t resist telling him a little more about what happened during act one and intermission. 

“...And she just stormed up to me, demanding to see him. Like, I told her, ‘you’re not cast or crew, you are so not allowed to be back here’, but she didn’t care!” Your voice is intense, but hushed. 

“Are you kidding?” he demands, shock evident on his face. 

“I wish I was…” you laugh softly, just as flabbergasted by the recent turn of events as he is. You inch closer to the curtain, and see Ricky wave to you in the audience - or more specifically in the general direction of where he knows you’d be right about now. His eyes are still a little pink and puffy, and it’s obvious how much everything that happened tonight has fucked him up. Your chest squeezes at the sight, and you wish you could hug him or do something to help. You sigh, trying to think of something encouraging to text him when you get a spare minute to. You snap out of your train of thought when you realize it’s quiet onstage. Your stomach sinks as EJ repeats his line, trying to cue Nina.

“Oh god,” you mutter next to Seb. 

“Did she forget her lines?” he asks. Her head turns, and you see what she’s looking at - who she’s looking at. You’re minutes away from the finale of the show, and she’s staring at Ricky. EJ begins speaking again, reciting his lines, but he just keeps going.

“Is he improving?” you ask rhetorically. “Why is he improving?” 

You have no idea what’s going on, but this show is going off the rails so fast. It’s like a slow motion trainwreck, and you find yourself unable to look away as Nina whispers to him out of character, for the second time in the last hour. You can feel your blood pressure rise as she breaks character too, the both of them floundering onstage and deviating from every rule of theatre Miss Jenn has been drilling into your heads for the last three months. Again, EJ speaks up, not even trying at this point. 

“I’m not the Troy you want,” he says melancholically. 

“What the fuck are they doing?” you hiss, and Seb can tell that after everything that happened tonight, this is really the last straw for you - you’re out for blood. You watch in disbelief as EJ just… walks offstage. And that’s it. You think it’s a really good thing he exited to the other side of the stage, because you sure have some choice words for him right now. 

“What is he doing?!” you question again, more pissed off than Seb has ever seen you. As if things couldn’t possibly get worse, you can’t believe what you’re seeing. Nina picks up her mic and begins to walk toward the edge of the stage, singing acapella. 

“She better not fucking do what I think she’s doing.” your voice is quiet, dangerous, and Seb is momentarily worried on her behalf. Even though you’re like, the nicest person ever, he doesn’t think anyone would want to be on your bad side.

Your hand flies over your mouth in utter disbelief as she walks into the audience and right over to Ricky, signaling for Big Red to follow her with a spotlight. Just when you think this couldn’t be more of an amature hour shit show, she pulls out her phone, turning her flashlight on him. You have no idea what she thinks that’s going to do, and thank god when she puts it away after a minute. She grabs Ricky’s hand, trying multiple times to pull him out of his seat. His heart is pounding, and he can feel himself freezing up. He has no idea what’s happening or why she’s doing this, and he has even less of an idea what he’s supposed to do. 

“I’m… really not at my best right now…” he manages to choke out. She doesn’t listen, and grips his hand, limp in hers. 

“Just look at me, Ricky. Right at me.” She smiles, like that will fix anything. He shouldn’t go up there, he shouldn’t go onstage when he’s like this. He and his dad had a whole conversation about it after intermission. But with everyone staring at him, Nini begins to sing. When she holds out the mic for him to finish the verse, he does, almost on instinct. He can’t leave her hanging, not like this. He panics, and next thing he knows, he’s letting her drag him onstage. He doesn’t know what’s happening, why she’s doing this, but he moves automatically and lets her drag him onstage. 

He’s struggling to keep his voice level, using all his effort to push past the pain, and smile at her. As she finally brings him center stage, taking his shaking hands in hers, he fights with everything inside him to make this work, to make it convincing, and be the finale it was supposed to be. He just has to keep it together for this last number, work through the pain, the ache in his chest and stomach that’s killing him as he stands up there, just for three minutes. As the rest of the cast begins to hit their cues, the energy has never been higher. They’re giving it everything they’ve got to hype him up, give him something to hold onto. He can feel them reaching out to him, singing and dancing their hearts out to lift him up. 

He’s trying so hard to be Troy, to seem convincing, to smile sincerely - not at Nini, but at Gabriella. He holds her hands, beaming, thinking about how badly Troy wants to kiss her. He clings onto this moment, the music, this role like a lifeboat. Troy has a great relationship with both his parents, Troy doesn’t come from a broken home. Troy is okay, he’s never been better, which means that Ricky gets to be okay vicariously through him, just for a little while. Just for a few minutes. He holds onto this catharsis as tightly as he can. He’s not going to let this moment be taken away from him too. The audience is cheering louder than ever as they make their way to the end of the song, incredibly confused at the cast changes and Nini’s actions, but they cheer everyone on - especially Ricky - nonetheless. 

He smiles at her through misty eyes, holding her hands and gazing at her in adoration. ‘This is it,’ Nini thinks, ‘my Ricky has come back to me. It’s always going to be us.’ He caresses her cheek, and looks at her like he really wants to kiss her as they harmonize. She knows he wants to kiss her, he’s always loved her and he’s always going to. They’ve had their ups and downs, but she knows that Ricky will always be hers. She was his first love, his first everything, and that’s what really matters. They have history, and you can’t fake that, you can’t manufacture that. 

The song ends and she drags him into the wings away from you and Seb, shoving his finale costume at him. He fumbles to take off his jacket, desperately trying to stay in motion, to keep moving, keep smiling, keep being Troy. He throws the sparkly white and red tracksuit on over his remaining clothes, and has seconds before he’s going to get dragged back out for the finale of a show he was only able to half participate in. He hates her so much for ruining this for him. He hates Nini for dragging him back up here, for literally putting him in a spotlight in the aftermath of the worst event of his life. He sucks it up, putting on a smile and getting hyped up to sing along to the megamix. 

It takes one look at your face for Seb to know just how bad this is. He can feel the rage, the disbelief radiating off of you, and he has no idea what’s going to happen after this. He thinks it’s nice that Nini tried to include Ricky, but she definitely didn’t go about it the right way. He’s sure you’d feel that’s probably the biggest understatement that could be made about the situation. 

“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, really worried. There’s already been so much drama tonight, he knows your bullshit tolerance is in the negatives right now. You stare at Nina across the stage, watching her whisper something to Kourtney with an expression on her face that infuriates you.

“Not sure yet.” You answer quietly, voice dangerous. Finally, you hear your cue, and you and Seb enter the stage.

He watches you change on a dime, transforming into a sassy, fun, reformed mean girl. You dance with him, and flirt with Zeke effortlessly. He can’t find a trace of your previous rage once you’re past the curtain, singing and dancing as Sharpay. There’s a light, fun, playful energy around you, and it’s infectious, making Seb and Zeke and everyone else around you have even more fun out there. For a moment, he forgets how ugly this is going to get once the lights go down. 

You make your way over to Gabriella, doing a little dance with her, just like you’re supposed to. You flash her a thumbs up, and wink at her supportively when Troy pulls her closer to dance, just like you’ve been practicing at every rehearsal leading up to this moment. Nina smiles at you when you do, interpreting yours and Ricky’s behavior as more than just stage directions. She feels a sense of benevolent camaraderie with you in these fleeting moments. Maybe she will be the bigger person, maybe she will extend her friendship to you, because even though you did try to steal Ricky from her - unsuccessfully at that - fighting over dumb boys is stupid. 

She and Gina run off to pull Miss Jenn onstage so she can deliver her infamous deleted line. It was your idea initially, but you made sure to tell the rest of the cast before tonight so the surprise could be from all of you. The cast and house cheer as she delivers her line, and you can see how much it means to her. You get a minute to dance with Ricky, and make your way over to him as quickly and naturally as possible. You couldn’t seem happier or more care free, but when you speak, your voice is strained. 

“I am so sorry that happened…” you say, barely loud enough for him to hear over the swell of the music and the rhythmic clapping as the audience keeps time. He can see it, the frustration being masked by your energetic, jovial nature. You’re doing the same thing he is, he realizes. You’re using this moment onstage and in character to keep the real world at bay. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt closer to you than he does right now. He wants to say something, he wants to feel horrible - he’s sure it’s justified - but when he looks at you, he can’t 

You’re onstage together at the end of your opening night performance, with a full house clapping and cheering and singing along with you both, with the whole cast. And in this moment, you’re worried about him. You’re worried about him. He’s so overwhelmed by this feeling of being onstage with all his friends, an audience full of people who came here and bought tickets and watched the show and are now cheering them on for this, the penultimate moment of all their hard work and dedication and doubts over the last three months culminating to this. He knows you know this feeling well, that this is the first show you’ve done in so long and how badly you’ve missed it - and you’re still up here, worried about him. 

“There were some… hiccups, but…” he starts, locking eyes with yours, looking at you that way that he does. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more strongly for you than he does right now. “This is kind of the best, right?” You smile suddenly at his words, relief evident on your face. You feel like you can breathe a little easier knowing he’s doing okay - or at least, better than he was. 

“This is just the tip of the iceberg babe,” you chuckle, nudging him playfully. You’re still livid at that… stunt Nina pulled, that hasn’t slipped your mind. But for now, Ricky is okay. That’s what’s important. You’ll deal with her later, if you get the chance. 

“Just wait till you see what I have picked out for the spring musical!” you both look over at Miss Jenn as she smiles, drawing an excited laugh from you and Ricky. 

Nina looks over, hearing you laughing with Ricky. It makes her stomach sink. She scoffs, figuring it must be platonic. He’s probably just giving you closure, or something. She looks back out into the crowd, and stops dancing as she watches the scout from YAC leave. Her mouth hangs open in disbelief. If she doesn’t get into YAC, the performing arts school of her dreams, what was the point of all this?

After everyone runs forward in groups, then individually to bow in front of the audience, You, Nina, and Ricky are the last to go. He stands between you, lined up with everyone else, holding both your hands as you and all your friends bow as a cast.  He snaps to attention as he hears a certain part of the music, squeezing your hand in warning. Confetti cannons go off from the wings moments later, drawing out a new wave of cheers and applause from the audience. You’re grateful for the warning, and you squeeze his hand back as a thank you. Your heart is warmed that even now, after so many difficult things happening back to back in one night, he still remembered that loud noises can make you jumpy. 

When Nina goes to share a look with Ricky, her smile drops. He’s already looking at you. There’s a certain type of joy in his eye, the kind you can only find amidst the ashes of misery, as he realizes that through everything that happened, he’s still okay. You’re still here. That’s the important part. You’re still right here with him, holding his hand. He made it to bows. Everything is going to be okay. In sharing this eye contact with him, you can’t help but reflect on how pretty he looks in the blue cast of the stage lights as he looks at you that way that makes your stomach twist. 

The curtains begin to draw closed, and you all wave at the audience until they’re out of sight. Sporadic cheers are let out around you as hugs are initiated here and there, and everyone begins flooding to the dressing rooms to get changed. As you make your way to the back, Ashlyn already leading everyone in a very loud, high energy reprise of We’re All in This Together, you squeeze Ricky’s arm. When he looks at you, he seems to be doing exactly as well as you’d expect - okay for now, the massive high from the end of the show keeping him afloat for now, but you know it won’t last forever. 

“I’m gonna go get changed real quick, I’ll say hi to my mom then we can go home, okay?” you say quietly, and he can tell from your tone of voice that you’re here for him, he just needs to hang in there a little longer. 

“Okay,” he says with a shaky breath. He doesn’t really need to get changed since he has his street clothes on under his tracksuit, so after hanging it up in its place, he waits in the hall outside the dressing rooms. A few minutes later, everyone who got changed the fastest are in the halls and on the stairs outside the dressing rooms, talking and congratulating each other before they go to the lobby. There's a silent understanding that you're all waiting just a few more minutes before you have to leave, before you have to acknowledge that the show is over. Big Red runs over to Ricky as soon as he spots him. 

“Are you okay, dude?” he asks quietly, clearly worried about him. Ricky lets out a breathy laugh. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” Ricky realizes how stressed he must be, having no idea of anything that was going on until half way through the show. "There’s a lot to fill you in on." Ricky nods his head, and they move to a more secluded area so Ricky can begin catching him up. He goes over the series of events from earlier tonight quickly, trying not to get worked up over all of it again. Soon he's wrapping up his summary of the horrible things that happened in such a short span of time, and his eyes are much less misty than he was worried they'd be. 

"Oh. My. God." Red states, laughing in disbelief that his mother would do something like that. 

"Yeah." Ricky nods, still in shock. 

"Don't take this the wrong way, dude," Red says tentatively, "but that does sound like something she would do; the guilt tripping, mind games, all of it." Ricky can't help but agree. In retrospect, Red does remember her using a lot of language that read as passive aggressive or guilt  tripping. There’s no way they could have picked up on that as kids, but hindsight is 20/20. Ricky loses Red's attention real quick as Ashlyn walks toward her friends, no longer loitering outside the dressing room she shares with you and Nini - and soon, Gina. She holds up a piece of paper from the mystery bouquet she'd been inspecting more closely. 

“We found a card!” she says excitedly. Ricky nudges Red, encouraging him to tell Ashlyn that he was the one to send the flowers. He looks at Ricky, nervous, and gets an encouraging nod. Big Red takes a breath, steadying himself, then stands up and walks towards Ashlyn. 

"Actually…" he starts. He doesn't need to say anything else, watching the realization hit. They walk a few feet away, talking animatedly and seeming to have a good time. More people start to filter out to see their friends and family, and as they dissipate, he realizes he still hasn't seen you since you went to change. He spots Kourtney passing by a few feet away and runs over to her. 

"Hey, uh," he starts carefully. He knows Kourtney hasn't been too fond of him for a while. "Do you know where Nini is?" He knows where Gina and Ashlyn are, and he really just wants to grab you and get out of here without even more drama. Kourtney sucks her teeth, considering how to respond for a moment. She could say something, she always has something to say when it comes to Ricky, but she knows tonight was hard on him. She doesn't know the details, but she's sure the last thing she'd want in his position is more animosity. 

"The scout left, and she's taking it hard. I think she's with her moms, but I don't know for sure." He waits a beat, realizing there's no other shoe that's going to drop, no glares or snarky comments.

"Thanks," he says quietly, before making his way to your dressing room. You're probably just having trouble getting everything back in your bag. He thought you had way over packed when you showed him the huge tote bag you got ready for tech week, but by the end, every 'just in case you had brought had been needed more than once. You really know your way around a theater, he thinks. 

When you first enter your dressing room, all you want to do is get changed and get out. Ashlyn talks a little - mostly to herself - about how excited she is for the next show. You reply as politely as possible, doing everything you can to avoid Nina, ignore her as much as you can. You just have to get changed and get out. You have bigger issues to deal with, bigger fish to fry than to chew her out for what she did back there. 

"Yeah," she replies, a faux chipper tone to her voice "hopefully we won't have as many last minute cast changes tomorrow night," you pause, gripping the empty plastic hanger so hard your knuckles turn white. "But who knows, right?" 

You've tried your best, you really have, but you can't take her bullshit anymore. The hanger snaps in your hands with a loud crack. Ashlyn's eyes widen in surprise, and now out of costume, she makes her way to the door. 

"I'll give you two a minute…"

The cacophony of voices get louder for a moment as she opens the door to leave, then it's quiet again. You turn away from her to tug on your shoes, praying to god she'll just leave it alone, let you get out of here quietly. 

"Sorry," her voice is dripping with a passive aggressive ignorance that grates on your ears. "Did you have something to say to me?" Before she can scoff and drop a yeah, that's what I thought, you turn, looking over your shoulder at her with a stone cold glare. When you speak, your voice is so deadly, so sharp she feels like she's been stung. 

"Count yourself fucking lucky that I don't have time to hang around right now, but I swear to god, Nina, if you pull shit like that again-"

"Wh-" she sputters, "excuse me? Pull what? Including Ricky, and helping him?"

"You think you were helping him?" You repeat, turning to face her. You roll your eyes scoffing. "Wow." She starts to say something, but you cut her off. 

"Look, I don't know why you're here, but some of us actually take this seriously. This actually means something- this matters to some people, and nobody needs you turning it into a little three ring Nina circus, and ruining it for the people who actually want to be here!" Your voice rises as you continue, driving your point home, and refusing to let her interrupt you. By the time you’re done, her mouth is hanging open.

“I don’t care what you do in your free time,” you continue decisively, “I really don’t, but don’t ruin everything for the people who actually give a fuck!” you say, a humorless laugh at the end. You don’t know who’s been coddling her up until now, but you are sure as hell are not going to let someone get away with a stunt like that. It’s clear from her reaction that no one has ever spoken to her like this, and you think it’s long overdue. “That was the most unprofessional load of bullshit I have ever fucking seen! And I’ve been around the rodeo a few times.” 

Nina blinks hard, fighting tears prickling the corners of her eyes. She feels like she’s just been slapped. Her? Unprofessional? Wow. You’re really reaching now. She’s the most professional person at this whole school, she just… She freezes as it hits her in a split second of clarity, that she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. She broke the cardinal rules of theatre; she broke character, went into the audience, broke the immersion. She ruined opening night. You can see the moment of lucidity where she realizes she’s in the wrong, and it’s gone just as fast. 

“You’re one to talk about being a professional.” She spits. You look at her incredulously. Once again you have no idea where she’s going with this. When you don’t react, don’t instantly get it, she continues. 

“You had a Broadway career handed to you on a silver platter, and you threw it away!” she searches your face for shock that she figured out your secret, continuing, “And for what, so you could slum it at some midwestern high school full of amateurs?” 

You figured it was a matter of time before someone found out you’ve done professional theatre before, so if she’s waiting for a reaction from you, she’s not going to get one. The only reason you didn’t tell anyone, the only reason you kept quiet about it is because you didn’t want to come across as cocky or seem like you were bragging. Plus, with how hard things got towards the end, you don’t really want to go around and dig up memories from that time in your life. Besides, you’re not in New York right now, you’re at East High. You’re here with all your friends, finally getting a little piece of normalcy. You’re exactly where you want to be, so why would you waste it living in the past?

Before you can answer, she continues.

“The point is, you need to stay away from Ricky and stop lying to him. Okay?” she demands. Her voice is muffled through the door, but right outside, Ricky hears her loud and clear. He didn’t hear you two before, but now the halls and dressing rooms are mostly empty.

Is she still seriously going on about that? You let out a breath, trying to regain your composure. 

“I really do not have the time to keep having the same conversation with you over and over - or explain to you that you can’t tell people who they can and can’t date!” you exclaim. You’re about to drop it, but there’s one more thing you need to get off your chest. “And for the fucking record, you don’t know jack shit about what else was going on in my life when I left New York. And I don’t owe you an explanation either.” you say coldly. You’ve said your peace, the only thing you need to do is fucking get out of here and find Ricky. 

“I can’t believe I actually used to look up to you!” she exclaims. “Look. It was cute, or whatever, at first, but this little game of yours has gone on for long enough. He’s mine. Now can you leave him alone, please?” she demands. She’s dripping that passive aggression you’re really starting to get sick of. You look at her in the mirror, illuminated with lights. 

“Seriously? You seriously want to do this right now.” You say, exhausted. She either doesn’t hear you or pretends not to as she continues.

“I knew him first! I dated him first, I kissed him first. Everything he’s done with you, he did with me first.” she states. She doesn’t know how else to get it into your head that she was his first everything, and you’re just a rebound or something. What they have isn’t something you can just get over like that.

“You weren’t… every first, Nini.” You both look over at Ricky, and you wonder how long he’s been standing in the doorway, how much he heard. 

“Ricky… what?” she whips around at the sound of his voice. He stares back at her, teary eyed and serious. 

“You weren’t every first.” he repeats. You both look at him in disbelief. Nina furrows her brow. She can’t believe he’s disrespecting their relationship like this. You stare at him, thinking back, reanalyzing your memories. He can’t be saying what you think he’s saying. There’s no way you were his first time. That couldn’t have been his first time. There’s no way that Ricky Bowen was a virgin before he showed up at your house that night, there’s no way that you took his virginity. ‘Oh god, I did, didn’t I?’ you think, remembering the way he looked at you, how nervous and desperate he was. Heat floods to your cheeks. You have no idea what to do with this information.

“How could you say that?” she demands. She was his first crush, his first kiss, his first date, girlfriend, heartbreak. She was all of it. 

“Because it’s true!” he exclaims. “The only first I care about, the only first that matters, is right there.” he gestures to you. 

Oh yeah, no, you definitely did take his virginity. You did not expect this, much less that it would make you feel so… tender? Flattered? Warm and fuzzy maybe? You hold back a flustered laugh. Whatever warm thing it is, you’re sure feeling a lot of it. You stare at the ground, cheeks hot, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you process this in the back of your mind. The majority of your attention is still on Ricky. You’ve been so worried, but he seems okay, which is a huge relief. He catches your eye, and your stomach twists. He’s looking at you like that again, and you’re sure you must be looking at him the same way. Anyone could see it. You snap back to attention, remembering Nina is still in the room with you. 

“We should get going-” you start quietly, reaching for your bag.

“Stay out of this!” she snaps, and you recoil at the sudden sharpness to her voice. “This is between Ricky and me.”  She turns to him, continuing, “And we are not done talking about this.” 

“Don’t talk to her like that.” He says quickly, more defensive of you after what happened earlier. He walks over to you, standing in between you and her. “Anything you have to say to me, you can say it in front of her.” Even though his voice wavers with emotion for a moment, Nina can tell he’s not backing down on this. She weighs her options. 

“Okay.” she starts, sucking her teeth. “I think she’s manipulating you.”

He lets out a breathy laugh with a bitter edge. He rolls his eyes, looking away for a second.

“That’s… hilarious, coming from you…” he mutters. 

“What? She’s been lying to you this whole time! She’s been doing professional theatre for years, Ricky, she-”

“That’s what this is about?” He realizes. “Oh my god, I already knew that!” he yells. Relief floods him as it clicks that all the bullshit she’s been spewing is nothing he didn’t know about already. She really was just trying to get into his head. “She’s not manipulating me, Nini, she’s there for me! There’s a difference! She actually cares about me - unlike you, and Lynne, and everybody else.” 

“That’s not fair-”

“She’s actually there for me, and she doesn’t just bail when shit gets hard. Not like you’d know anything about that.” he says the last part quieter, but she still hears it. She doesn’t have a comeback, she doesn’t have anything she can say to that. 

“I don’t have to listen to this.” She grabs her bag, brushing past him. Before she leaves, he turns to her, finally saying something he never thought he’d be able to. 

“I’m starting to think I wasn’t the problem in our relationship.” 

She freezes, turning to him slowly, eyes glistening.

“What?”

“You heard me.” he states. 

“You know what?” There’s nothing she can say, no comeback, no way to defend herself. She lets a single tear fall. “Screw you, Ricky.” She leaves quickly, huffing at what he said. He turns to you, still staring at where she left in disbelief. You exhale for what feels like the first time since this confrontation began, then immediately turn your attention back to Ricky. You’re grabbing your stuff as quickly as you can, desperate to finally get out of here, laughing nervously. 

“I can’t believe this night keeps getting worse. Look, we can just go home, we don’t have to go to Denny’s or anything if you don’t want to, I just want to make sure you’re okay, because obviously a lot of-” 

“I love you.” 

It tears from his throat with more raw emotion than you’ve ever heard, stopping you in your tracks. Your eyes widen as his hands come up to hold your face. He wants to kiss you so badly, more than he’s wanted anything, and you can feel it. He keeps going.

“I love you so much, I wanted to say it before. I’ve wanted to say it since that first amazing night we spent together. Ever since you snuck me into your room, and we talked and watched old episodes of cartoons, and you took me in when I needed you, I have loved you. And then you got those little plastic rings when we were running late for rehearsal, because we stopped for coffee and peach scones, and- and we traded colors, I felt like my heart was going to explode.” 

His thumbs caress your cheeks, and it makes you light headed. 

“I wanted to say it when we were dancing at homecoming and you were so beautiful I thought I’d die, I wanted to say it every time we kissed, and every time you laugh so hard your nose scrunches up, I wanted to say it. You made me fall in love with theatre, and this beautiful place, and with you. You love everyone around you so selflessly,” his voice breaks, “please, let me love you. The way you deserve to be loved. Even if you don’t want to say it back-” 

“I love you too.” You can’t help interrupting him, unable to ignore how true they are any longer. He’s stopped dead in his tracks. “I would have said something sooner, but the last thing I wanted was for you to feel pressured, so I… figured I’d follow your lead.” The room is quiet as he tries to get the air back in his lungs. 

“You love me?” he breathes.

“Yeah,” you confirm, nodding, “I do.” 

He takes one look at you, holding you intensely in his gaze, confirming that you really just said that. In one swift motion, he pulls you close to him, dipping you, and finally connects his lips to yours. He kisses you more passionately than anything he’s ever done. He kisses the air out of your lungs, kisses away the little space between you, desperately kissing everything he feels for you onto your lips. You lose yourself for a beautiful moment in that kiss. You’re not sure how long you stay like that, holding each other as close as you can get, with kissing as the only means of expressing the depths of your feelings, but it’s long enough that your lungs burn when you finally pull away. He barely moves his face away from yours as you attempt in sync to catch your breath. 

“Say it again,” he murmurs against your lips. 

“I love you,” you say, soft and sincere, that beautiful smile on your lips where his ache to be again. He reacts instantly to your words, picking you up, and kissing you again and again. You wrap your legs around his waist, giggling in surprise. He sets you on the table in front of the big dressing room mirror where Ashlyn’s character shoes still sit. The mental note to make sure she doesn’t forget them flies out of your mind as Ricky kisses you again and again, mouth open against yours. His lips are all over your face and your neck, turning you into a giggling mess as he holds you tight. He mutters sweet nothings against your skin that turn sensual very quick, but mostly he keeps telling you how much he loves you between kisses, mumbling the three words into your skin over and over. 

“Ricky…” you trail off as he bites your neck playfully, causing you to let out a flustered noise. “We have to go upstairs…” you start to forget what you were saying as he runs his tongue over your skin. “Our parents are waiting!” you laugh, desperately holding onto the train of thought. 

“Let them wait…” he murmurs, “You said we could kiss after the show, and… it’s after.” The flustered look on your face is too much for him, and he presses his lips to yours again, pushing his tongue into your mouth. You feel so good, your skin is so soft and you smell so sweet, and it’s all so much more now that he’s said it, now that you said it back to him. He squeezes your thigh and bites your lip and moans into your mouth, loving every noise you make, every tug of his hair and grab of his shirt. He’s so desperate for you and your touch, he would fuck you right here if he could. He considers it for a moment. 

After eavesdropping too long for her own good, Nina feels a solitary tear roll down her cheek. Ricky’s words ring in her ears. He loves you. He didn’t just say it back, he initiated it. She didn’t stick around too long, just enough for it to hurt. She reaches into her bag, pulling out her songwriting book. She’s sure this will give her plenty to write about, she thinks bitterly. She could probably get a whole album out of it. ‘At least then the pain would be worth something…’ she muses, taking one last look over her shoulder before leaving the dressing rooms - and Ricky - out of her sight.

Eventually, you and Ricky manage to drag yourselves upstairs and greet people in the lobby. Mike finds him quickly, pulling him aside to check on him. He looks back over at you, accepting flowers from your mom and pulling her in for a hug. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m okay.” He doesn’t look away from you, and Mike doesn’t miss this. His son is a lot of wonderful things, but he sure wouldn’t describe him as subtle. Ricky watches you as a girl in a pink dress walks up nervously to you with who he presumes is her sister. He’s too far away to hear your conversation over the chatter from people milling about, but your face lights up after she speaks. You pull a hot pink sharpie out of your bag and sign her playbill before handing it back to her. The sight makes his chest squeeze. He didn’t know you were good with kids, but it makes total sense - you’re good with everybody. 

Mike nudges him toward you.

“Go ahead,” he smiles, so Ricky does. 

“Hey,” he starts, pausing when a woman walks up to him, a little girl hiding behind her leg, looking up at Ricky in admiration. 

“Excuse me,” the woman says, getting his attention. “You were fantastic. She really loves High School Musical, and we wanted to know if you’d sign her playbill…” 

The girl looks up at him nervously, and he smiles, letting out a flustered chuckle. He didn’t expect this, he doesn’t even have a pen - but luckily as always you’re right behind him, extending a sharpie his way. 

“Yeah,” he smiles, “sure, of course!” He scribbles his name across the front before handing it back. “What was your favorite part?” he asks. She considers. 

“We’re All in This Together.” she decides, singing out the song title. 

“No way, that’s my favorite song too!” The way her face lights up is something he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget. She jumps excitedly that someone as cool as Troy Bolton has the same favorite song as her before hiding behind her mom’s legs again. The mom thanks him again before picking up her daughter. Ricky turns to you, not even needing to say anything. 

“I know,” you smile, “it’s the best, right?” 

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It is.” Your eyes light up that way they do when you remember something, and you reach into your bag. You pull out Ashlyn’s character shoes - thank god you remembered to bring them out with you - and gesture down the hall to where Ashlyn is talking to some of her friends that came to see the show. 

“I’m gonna give these back to Ashlyn, and I’ll meet you and our parents by the doors in like, two seconds.” He agrees, and you part ways. 

“Thank you!” Ashlyn gasps when you hand her the shoes. “I was looking everywhere for these.” 

She pauses, remembering how tense things got between you and Nini earlier before she left. 

“Was everything okay with…” she trails off, jogging your memory. 

“Oh,” you start, a little unsure of how to answer. “Yeah. Everything’s fine now.” You look off to the side, and she follows your gaze to Ricky. He’s talking to his dad and seems to be doing a lot better now, and you seem to be doing better too. 

As you make your way down the hall and across the lobby you’re stopped by a woman you don’t recognize, but she seems to know you, addressing you by name as she introduces herself. 

“I’m Kalyani Patel, the dean of the Youth Actors Conservatory in Denver. I’ve been following your career for some time, and I have to say, I’m very impressed. You’re incredibly talented and have a lot of notable credits for someone as young as you are. We have one more available place available for the upcoming semester, and we would be thrilled for you to attend.” 

“Thank you so much, Kalyani. I’ve heard a lot about Youth Actors Conservatory, and I’m so honored by your offer, but I’m not planning on switching schools at the moment.” You say as graciously as you can. 

“Of course, I understand.” She smiles. 

“Thank you again for the opportunity, and I hope we can work together in the future.” You smile back, saying goodbye, and making your way over to Ricky and your parents. 

After returning to the dressing rooms to write sad song lyrics and watch herself cry in the mirror, when Nina finally finds her moms in the lobby, she has a piece of good news for once.

“The dean of YAC!” she exclaims. 

“I thought they were full, sweetie.” Carol says. She and Dana had gotten a rejection letter addressed to Nini a few days ago, and were trying to find the right time to break the news. 

“She said a spot opened up,” she beams, “which means I’m going to YAC!” 

Her moms hug her, congratulating her on the good news, and that they’d discuss it in detail at home. Nina looks over to where you and Ricky are standing. He holds your hands in his while you talk quietly. You have no idea that soon she’ll be out of here, and you’ll never see her again. She was on the fence, but after what he said to you, she’s made up her mind. She’s leaving this town, and going somewhere that she’ll be appreciated, somewhere she’s wanted. If that happens to be a boarding school in Colorado, then so be it. ‘Take a good look’, she thinks, ‘because that’s the last you’ll ever see of Nini Salazar-Roberts.’ 

 After more mingling, congratulations, flowers, and playbill signing, you turn to Ricky.

“You ready to go home?” you ask, walking toward your car. He stops, turning to look at you. 

“You know what? No.” he lets out a breathy laugh. “I don’t want to go home. I… want to go to Denny’s! I’m a theatre kid, and I just finished my first show, and it’s like, tradition to go to Denny’s, so I want to!” You smile at his sudden enthusiasm, laughter matching his. 

“Yeah, okay,” you smile, “let’s go!” 

You both walk over to your castmates, who are trying to figure out a carpool to get everyone there before it gets any later. You nudge Ricky.

“So, does anyone need a ride to Denny’s, or should we just meet you there?” he asks. For what feels like the millionth time, everyone erupts into cheers. You know all your friends were worried about him after what happened, and Seb instigates a group hug, that everyone quickly jumps on to. You think it’s important to end the night on a good note like this, spending time with your castmates, cramming into booths and singing obnoxiously in an empty restaurant. It’s sort of a rite of passage, and you’re glad that Ricky’s able to participate, especially after opening night of his first show. 

You sleep over at his place that night. After everything Ricky’s been through, after he seems to finally be okay again, the last thing Mike wants to do is not let him spend time with someone he’s so close to - especially considering what a good influence Mike thinks you are on him. From what Ricky told him, you didn’t instigate any drama tonight, and spent every spare moment off stage trying to help Ricky through what was going on. It’s not the first time you’ve helped Ricky navigate the ups and downs of growing up in the time you’ve known him, so when Ricky asked if you could stay the night, he agreed. While you’re brushing your teeth, Mike pulls Ricky aside to talk. 

“I spoke to Nini’s moms,” he starts, and Ricky braces himself. “They’re going to talk to her, and I said I’d talk to you to make sure these last shows go smoothly, alright? So, no more fights, no arguing, no more of this… reality tv stuff.” 

“Believe me,” Ricky sighs, “I don’t want any more drama. Especially at the expense of the show.” 

“I know,” Mike agrees. “So just… it’s only a few more shows. Try your best to…” he looks for the words.

“Politely avoid each other?” Ricky supplements.

“Exactly.” Mike nods. “Just politely avoid each other for a few more days, and all this will blow over.” 

When he finally reenters his room, he hands you a t shirt to wear. He knows you probably brought pajamas, but he wants to tell you he loves you in as many ways as he can, like wearing his clothes. When you come back in and sit on his bed in his big shirt and your little shorts, he doesn’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful. 

“Do you want to talk about anything?” you ask tentatively. 

“Not really,” he chuckles. “I feel like I’ve kind of talked it all to death by now.”

“You know what we haven’t talked about?” you ask, a look in your eye that immediately has his attention. “How Nina and EJ - but like, mostly Nina - ruined the finale of the show.” 

“Yeah,” he starts, remembering how stunned he was. “What the fuck was that?” 

You talk shit until you have nothing else to say about it, and soon you’re curled up under the covers together. You’re laughing and talking, and things almost feel normal again. It’s like every bad thing never happened tonight. He doesn’t know how you do it, how you make things feel so okay again, but he holds you tight, clinging onto the feeling. He was going to say it earlier, but he was so distracted by you, by how beautiful you are. 

“I love you.” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He feels you smile against his chest. 

“I love you too, Ricky.” 

You sound so content, so comfortable with him, and he feels like his heart is going to burst. 

“I love you,” he says again, running his fingers along your waist. 

“I love you too,” you giggle sleepily. Every time you think he’s asleep, he says it again, and again, and again. He can’t help himself, he loves the way you blush and giggle, loves how warm you are against him, loves the way you say it back to him. It’s quiet for a little while, but you feel his hands still tracing little shapes into your skin. You glance up at him to find him staring at you  in that way that makes your stomach twist. 

“Close your eyes,” you mutter, drowsy. 

“But I love you.” he replies quietly, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I love looking at you. I love everything about you.” 

“I love you too,” you answer groggily, and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt better than he does when you say it like that. “But we have a full day of school in the morning, then homework, then another show to perform in, so we have to get at least a little sleep.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, eyes growing heavy as the day catches up to him. “As long as we have time for coffee and peach scones.”

“There is literally always time for coffee and peach scones.” he chuckles at how quickly you respond. You lean up, pressing a kiss to his nose, then snuggle back into his chest. It’s his favorite time of day again, he realizes, where he gets to sleep next to you, and kiss, and cuddle. Except this time, it’s better than it ever has been, because right before you fall asleep, he gets to say it.

“I love you.” he breathes, kissing your forehead.

“‘Love you too.” you mutter, barely awake. Your words reverberate and replay in his mind as he closes his eyes, finally drifting off. He doesn’t know how the next shows are going to go, he doesn't know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about what will happen when the sun rises,  he’s just excited for it to happen with you. He sleeps better than he has in a long time. 

[transfemdentruther]

And for my first trick: let's live up to the username lol

I need to rewatch Sunny in depth to really make a crazy post, but for now we get half-remembered gibberish from yours truly ;D

First off the top is Mac's Banging the Waitress. What do you mean his jeans are tight as shit because he wants to accentuate his "female form"? Why is that something he was thinking about? Why specifically does he want to achieve a more feminine form? I will never not think about that line, what the hell. Insane

This one's just kinda silly, but it's on my mind 'cause I've been lurking through a couple Sunny fan accounts looking specifically for trans Den takes lmao. The escape room episode where Dennis says something about cows grazing relating to them and Mac's like "Aren't all cows female?" and Dennis stutters and says that it's a metaphor. I think the poster said in the tags "LMAO HE CAUGHT HER" and it's my favourite lol

I think it was from the self help book or whatever, but when he's going on about Coco Chanel and how "boys can't be fabulous too just because of this sad piece of flesh hanging between my legs?" It's not inherently the fact he wants to be fabulous, it's that the way he describes it as a sad piece of flesh that just hangs there. I don't really know cis men's thoughts on their dicks, but I'm sure they don't view it that negatively... It's just interesting phrasing

The whole makeup thing. Is it gay for men to wear makeup? No. Does it make them trans? No. But Dennis? That's a whole other story that the words are very fleeting for, so we're just gonna leave at that for now sorry lol

In the bowling episode when he's being a bitch to Dee and he's saying something like "Women are devious, destructive, and default to turning on each other" as if that's not what he does lol

This is a whole other post, but I think gender envy is a part of sleeping with women, aside from the trauma of course. I personally don't think he's actually attracted to women even though he's constantly going on about big tits and all that. I don't have a big vocabulary right now as my brain almost never works and it is 2am, but in The Gang Gets Analyzed when he draws the therapist, I just think it's funny that he specifically drew himself behind her holding her massive tits. Like it's not actually anything obviously, but it something I will point at Pepe Silvia style lmao

The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo. Need I say more? Kidding, I can't not yap about it lol. "I need a model with the perfect female body hmmm" -employs himself with YOU GUESSED IT giant tits- Certainly... interesting. Also this bitch has at Least three different shades of red lipstick and I know he's not stealing them from Dee because I think she's only ever worn one, maybe two, kinds of red lipstick and that's only very occasionally. So. There's that

All the comments about him and drag and then that one thing Mac said about him being into all that "glam rock femme shit" I Just Think It's Interesting

Okay, that's all for now. I don't wanna proofread any of this, so feel free to ask for clarification or if you just wanna come yell at me lol

[panatheia]

Okay im 3 or 4 episodes deep into Kaos, and I dont know of its a bad show or not, cause im enjoying it so far

Só here are my thoughts about it YAY (!be careful, if you care about spoilers)

First of all, Cassandra of Troy is a relevant character love that for my girl. Shoutout for the other Trojan women, Andromache and Hecuba, they are just so tired

Euridice my darling only wanted to move o with her life and curse the gods but nooo, she had to be hit by truck-kun and NOT be renewd

Orpheus dude is so real, if Riddy was my wife i would kms to join her

Also, can we all shit on Zeus head for a second? Bros an asshole wtf i totally forgot about that. Like, shooting your ball boys because of a watch? Being a total ahole to the only son that still visits you despite their stepmothers bitching? Planning to cause mass destruction, war and general mayhem in the Earth just because? Dude, get a hobbie

Now onto the Trojans 7 part omg i was so sad the entire time. When Theseus first showed Nax I took one look at that twink and I knee he'd die but I didn't think it would Hurt™ so much

Seriously, when Andromache is hugging him and he said that ir would all be ok, and cassandra screaming for them to run, thats when I knew that i was in for a tear fest. When Ari woke up to the screams of Andromache, I couldn't even see anymore cause i was crying a lot. And the way they hung the kids corpses from the wall in an allusion to Nax being trown from Troys gates as an infant (ody im looking at you), I was sad

Okay, moving to brighter topics, going down the underworld its such a fun bit! Hades and Persephone haven't done any godly bulshit and seem tô be the only healthy couple around this show so kudos for them

Riddy is having a hard time poor girl. First she dies. Then she discovers that she cant reincarnate. Then she has to work for 200 years. Then the food tastes like nothing. Then shes stuck with a annoying bitch at work. Godness, someone give her a break

Caeneus my beloved your myth is so sad you deserved better. I hope you can help little Nax and you lot in the underworld can be happy

Dyonisus has his priorities straight, ngl. Get a promotion, help the dude that makes cool music and most importantly, taking care of Dennis, the single most important character is this show

Going back to orpheus. Dude, not Cool taking your wife's coin so she cant cross. Not cool

And finally, Minos, you're a bitch and Ari, they could never make me like you, wdym "Your segregation is for your own benefit" girl

Anyways, soon I'll have more updates